he/theyliterally the only purpose this blog serves is as a venting spot. tw for all posts just in case.
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We looked inside some of the posts by b00-a-gh0stt and here's what we found interesting.
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Everyday I fight between the trans urge of wanting to lift weights and be a strong guy and the an0rex1c urge to be so sk1nny I become see through.
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i cant fucking do this anymore. all i do is eat and sleep and maybe school work if i'm lucky.
i've lost all motivation to live at this point i'm just continuing because it's easier than actively looking for a different solution to that problem.
i dont really want to be alive but i'm not really suicidal either.
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i'm so tired. thinking makes me tired. being together is making me tired. sleeping makes me tired.
i don't know what to do anymore, and whenever i think i do, i'm proven wrong.
i can't fucking do this it hurts.
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gonna go to bed and pray i don't feel like i'm gonna have a heart attack when i wake up because this is the fucking worst
#pots#among other things#probably#idk#doctors won't tell me shit so#guess i gotta feel like death#all i did was shower and i've felt like i'm dying for the last 20 minutes#chronic illness#yay#this sucks so bad
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i think there should be more masc/androgynous thinspo because i want to hate my body but not in the dysphoria way rn
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god i'm such a fucking terrible partner. why can't i just reply to messages and communicate properly.
i love him so much why can't i show it properly. i love him to know how much i love him. he shows me so much affection and i'm so grateful for everything he's ever done for me in the past few years why can i barely handle the bare minimum.
he deserves far better than i could ever give him and honestly i think he knows that. maybe he hates me for how i treat him. if he did i wouldn't even blame him i would've broken up with myself years ago.
what if the only reason he's still with me is because. i can't even think of a good fucking reason why he still wants to even be around me i'm so fucking terrible to be with.
every so often i try fixing myself so i can be the partner he deserves but i always end me up going back to being a fucking shit person in the end because that's what i fucking am
#god this is long#long ass rant#tldr i hate myself and how i treat people#skill issue#l bozo#it's me i'm the bozo#i'm a terrible romantic partner
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Just imagine. Soon they’ll notice. They’ll say things like “wow you look slimmer”. They’ll be able to pick you up with ease. You won’t be embarrassed to sit in their lap because you’ll know you’re lighter than ever. They’ll be able to scoop you up and spin you around in hugs the way you’ve always wanted. You’ll feel petite and fragile and they’ll want to protect you. Soon you’ll feel that you finally deserve their love.
Join the discord 18+
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the worst fucking thing is finding out how many calories are in one of ur safe foods
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just checked my i am sober app and realized how close i actually am to a year
it feels gross and now i want to reset it. i can feel how it felt to relapse that long ago and it's hard not to give in
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sorry for eating that wasnt very i’m willing to do whatever it takes to reach my ugw of me
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i wish i could fucking sleep
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