inplut0

[inplut0]

RUF GRRRRUFF RUFF

oh my god. the eyeliner. i'm turning into a rabid dog. someone help. 🧍🏻‍♀️🧎‍♀️🐕⁉️

[inplut0]

something about peaky blinders men with their rolled up sleeves is just so attractive

[inplut0]

father .

[inplut0]

my new obsession yall

Hi babey! Can I request a Carmen Berzatto x fem!Reader one shot? Reader is a friend of his or more of a coworker but she finds Carmy attractive and one day someone says something about him, just for a laugh, nothing really mean and reader chimes in with a “ I’d totally sit on his face”? It doesn’t have to be a smut, you can do whatever you want with this idea. Thank you in advance love xx

After Hours

Pairing: Carmen Berzatto x fem! Reader

Warnings: smut, language, face sitting (obvi), cumming in pants

Summary: *in req*

Word Count: 3.6k

“Okay Y/N, I gotta serious fuckin’ question for ya’.”

I rolled my eyes and continued stirring the sauce. I was aware that this inquiry would most certainly not be taken seriously.

“Hit me, Richie.”

Despite not having uttered a word, Richie laughed loudly.

Oh God, this was gonna be painful.

“Alright, alright, who do you think is more attractive, me or Carmy?”

I arched my brow and cast a glance over my shoulder. Richie's figure was leaning smugly against the counters, his arms crossed over his chest. The pace of the day was unexpectedly slow. Richie chose to focus his attention on me because, frankly, he couldn't go five minutes without bothering someone.

Hey, at least he wasn't yelling and upsetting everyone in a five-mile radius. I’ll take annoying Richie over screaming Richie any day of the week.

“Seriously? That was your serious question?”

I asked, frustrated that he tore my attention away from the sauce.

“I’m dead serious honey-”

“Don’t call me honey.”

Richie displayed his open palms.

“Alright, alright. Sorry, I forgot.”

I rolled my eyes again, bringing my gaze to the sauce. Staring at Richie for lengthy stretches of time gave me a migraine.

“Are you gonna answer my question?”

I pretended to ponder his inquiry despite already knowing the answer.

“Well, that’s difficult. You both are such charming and attractive men.”

My tone was thick with sarcasm. I mean, come on? Did Richie really think he had a chance? I glanced to my right, then to my left. I took care to be subtle so Richie wouldn't assume I had ulterior motives.

“I’d have to say, Carmy.”

“Fuck!”

He exclaimed under his breath. I chuckled through a closed mouth, scraping my spatula against the bottom of the plate.

“Was it close?”

“Do you really want me to answer that question?”

“That depends. Is the answer something I want to hear?”

“No.”

“Then no.”

The restaurant possessed an oddly tranquil atmosphere at this hour. The quiet chatter of voices resembled lovely white noise. I wished it would gently lull me to sleep. Even though a little frantic activity kept my mind sharp, I greatly valued quiet times like these. Unfortunately, my moment of peace was interrupted by Richie’s loud voice.

“Ok, but like, what does he got that I don’t?”

I managed to control the urge to roll my eyes. Instead, I opted to twist the knife.

“Well, he’s more attractive for starters.”

Nice. This sauce was coming together.

“Oh, come on, now you’re just bullshitting me.”

With a chuckle, he said.

“I’m a chef, Richie. I don’t bullshit.”

“What makes him more attractive?”

Jesus. After I answered his stupid question, I assumed the conversation would be over. I would not have humored him if I had known he was going to prolong my agony.

“He’s got nice arms, and nice hands, and nice eyes-”

Richie laughed. I grinned, pleased that I had irritated him. Call me rude, but Richie has been nothing but trouble for me since day one. And the fact that I was finally crawling under his skin made me internally satisfied. I was scratching an itch that had been bothering me for months.

“And, come on, have you seen his nose? I mean, it’s gorgeous. I’d totally sit on his face.”

Richie found that amusing, and we both laughed before being unexpectedly interrupted by Carmen.

I froze.

Jesus. I sure as hell hope he didn’t hear that last part.

He threw open the door to his office and sauntered confidently into the open kitchen, holding a clipboard and a pen in his large hands. I prayed his mind was truly focused on the inventory check and not our conversation.

Oh God, why did I say that? Now the only image clouding my brain was me, sitting atop his nose.

Shit!

Why did he have to look so fucking good all the time? Can’t he look bad for once in his life? It would sure help right about now as I was finding it increasingly difficult not to imagine myself cumming all over his beautiful face while he vigorously tongue fucked me.

Carmen slowly became aware of two sets of eyes boring into the side of his skull. He paused his scribbling to cast a glance in our direction. His beautiful blue eyes darted between us, meeting both of our gazes before tearing away to look at the other.

“Um- hi guys…”

He said hesitantly, seemingly unsure why we were both gaping at him as if he had just interrupted a serious confession. Richie bobbed his head.

“Cousin.”

I followed suit.

“Carmen.”

Carmen arched his brow and shifted his body so that his torso was facing us.

“Uh-are you guys alright?”

His gaze continued to dart back and forth between ours. Every time he captured my stare, my heart instinctively skipped a beat.

God, what kind of sick thoughts have I polluted my mind with?

“I’m great.”

Richie chimed in.

“I’m great as well. Uh-we were just talking about…”

Come on, think of a lie!

“...baseball.”

Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Thankfully, I was unable to blush as all the blood in my entire body had rushed to my core.

“Oh yeah, I was just tellin’ Y/N here about that cubs game last night.”

“Oh…”

Carmen’s voice trailed off into the tranquil air.

“Alright.”

His gaze landed on me, and he held it.

What’s he gonna say to me?

What’s he gonna say to me?

What’s he gonna say to me!

“Keep your eyes on that sauce, chef. Don’t let it burn.”

Right, of course.

“Right, of course. Sorry chef.”

Despite wanting to gawk at him a little longer, I tore my eyes away from him. He was most definitely suspicious, and the last thing I wanted was to make it worse.

“Richie, you can head out if ya’ want. We close in thirty minutes, and I don’t expect much more business.”

Shit.

I knew Richie would accept his offer. It wasn’t in his nature to deny going home early. So, with the exception of a few dishwashers, I'd be completely alone with Carmen.

Great, just great.

“You sure about that cousin?”

Oh my God.

Please stay.

Please stay.

Please stay.

I never imagined in a million years that I'd want to spend more time with Richie. But if he stayed, I would most likely avoid an awkward confrontation if Carmen had overheard me.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I think Y/N and I can hold down the fort.”

There was complete silence. I didn't turn around. I keep my gaze fixed on the sauce.

He most certainly overheard me.

Otherwise, why would he ask Richie to leave?

“Alright.”

No! My heart began to race. My hands began to shake.

Shit! I hadn't been paying attention. The sauce had begun to burn. The vile stench of burnt flour filled my nose. I cringed.

“Ah! Shit.”

I mumbled under my breath.

“Are you alright, chef?”

Do not stand next to me and breathe down my neck. That was the absolute last thing I needed right now.

He approached me, and his hot breath grazed my neck. Goosebumps rose along my skin.

Fuck.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just... accidentally burned the sauce.”

He glanced over my shoulder, his chin lightly brushing against my shoulder. My throat tightened.

“It’s alright. Don’t sweat it. Just throw it out and do it again.”

Fortunately, there wasn't much going on, or I'd be subjected to his piercing screams as he frantically bolted around the kitchen.

“Yes chef.”

I angled the skillet over the trash can, scraping every drop of burnt liquid into the trash.

“Good luck.”

Richie whispered when Carmen vanished from view. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. I sighed in frustration.

“You’re the one that instigated that stupid conversation. I’m placing all the blame on you if he asks.”

Richie placed his hands on his hips. He was sickeningly arrogant. I just wanted to smack that stupid little smirk off his face.

“If he asks? You seriously think there's a possibility he didn’t hear nothin’?”

“Sh!”

I placed my finger over my lips.

“Why do you always have to talk so goddamn loud? He's out of sight, not out of earshot.”

“Sorry.”

Richie apologizes, his tone lacking sincerity. I didn't expect anything more.

“I sure as hell hope he didn’t hear anything.”

Richie noticed my tense posture and unconscious scraping of the empty pan. He chuckled.

“Relax honey-”

I glared at him. He cut himself off.

“Relax Y/N. He ain’t gonna fire you.”

I didn't respond. I returned the skillet to the stovetop and began remaking the sauce.

“But fine, if it puts you at ease, then blame me. He hates me anyway.”

"Thanks, Richie, you're a real doll.”

“You owe me one.”

“I don’t owe you shit.”

Richie scoffed. But he was far too cheerful to be angry. The subtle frustration quickly faded and died.

“I hope to see ya’ tomorrow, Y/N.”

“The feeling is not mutual, Richie.”

Richie leaned against the counter, catching my attention. I mockingly scowled at him, over exaggerating my exasperation.

“How’d you get to be such a saint?”

He inquired. He placed a hand over his chest, as if moved by my insult.

“It’s a God given talent, Richie, something you wouldn’t know about.”

He recoiled, pretending to be hurt.

“I would be offended, but I’m the one that gets to go home while you gotta face my cousin.”

I quickly glanced to the left to ensure Carmen was still out of sight.

“Don’t rub it in.”

Richie chuckled.

“Alright, goodbye for real this time.”

I didn't respond. Carmen reappeared shortly after Richie had left. He stationed himself only two feet away from me.

Great.

Fabulous.

Were his hands shaking?

Was he blushing faintly?

Hell no. That’s all in my head.

It'd be in my best interests if I stopped staring at him. I reduced the heat, afraid that the sauce would burn a second time and make it obvious that I was distracted. Carmen took an onion from the plastic container and began chopping. His typically quick hands were moving at a glacial pace.

“How are you?”

He asked.

“I’m pretty good, and yourself?”

Carmen shrugged nonchalantly.

“I’m alright. Kinda expected today to be busier, y’know?”

I scraped the pan to ensure the sauce ingredients were thoroughly combined.

“I get it. I mean, it’s a Saturday. Where the fuck is everyone?”

Carmen laughed, but it sounded forced. He didn't seem particularly pleased, nor did he smile. I bit my tongue.

“We may try out to-go’s tomorrow. Y’know, just see if it works. Personally, I think we should get a handle on everything before we try out a completely new fuckin’ system, but Sydney is pushin’ me.”

He was rambling. Carmen was never this talkative.

“I think to-go’s might be a good idea.”

Carmen pursed his lips into a straight line.

“There’s potential for it to be successful. The downside is that it also has the potential to blow up right in our fuckin’ faces.”

I tucked a stray hair behind my ear and glanced at Carmen through my fingers. He kept chopping slowly, his biceps flexing as he pushed the blade through the vegetable. The knife was dull. Carmen could feel my gaze. He cast a glance at me. As our gazes locked, a surge of heat pulsed through me. I quickly dismissed it, returning my attention to the sauce. Which, if I may say so, was progressing quite nicely.

“So, what were you and Richie talking about?”

I gulped audibly. Oh God, here we go. It’s time to address the giant elephant in the room.

“I told you. We were talking about baseball.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

His jaw muscles pulsed as he clenched his teeth.

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you.”

He murmured. I wouldn't have heard his words had I not been paying attention. I scoffed loudly.

“Why don’t you believe me?”

“Cause…”

Carmen’s voice trailed off, his Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped.

“Cause…”

He wasn’t cutting anymore. His grip on the knife became white knuckled. My playful smile dropped.

“Cause I heard you talking. The walls here are thin.”

Shit.

What should I do?

Apologize?

“I’m sorry Carmen.”

Carmen gritted his teeth, muscles bulging from his cheeks.

“Shit-I don't even know why I said it. I was just being stupid. I was just-,” I was rambling, “I was just making a joke-”

“You don’t need to apologize.”

I zipped my lips.

“Were you being serious?”

What?

He was mumbling.

I didn’t hear him correctly.

“Sorry, what?”

Carmen had a crimson face. He was unable to look at me. His empty eyes were fixed on the half-chopped onion resting on the cutting board.

“I-I asked if you were serious.

Was he seriously asking if I would be willing to sit on his face? I shrugged nonchalantly.

“I mean… kinda.”

Carmen’s bottom lip subtly quivered.

“Kinda?”

Oh my God.

He really was asking me if I’d be willing to sit on his face?

“Well, I mean. If you must know than yes. I was being serious.”

The air around us became tense as the silence lingered.

“Why?”

I asked, deducing that he most likely wasn’t asking me because he was simply curious.

“Cause, y’know, you could, if you wanted to.”

He turned to face me, a lustful undertone hidden behind his pupils.

“I mean- I’m not great at that kind of shit but- like- I wouldn’t mind giving it a try… Y’know, if you’d be up to it.”

It was my turn to blush. I mean, I’d definitely be up to it. I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to sit on his face.

“Uh. Sure.”

My breath shuddered, and my words faltered as a result.

“Like, when?”

Carmen shrugged while flinging fictitious dust specks from the counter.

“I don’t know. Like, right now is good with me.”

Right now!

He wasn’t being serious.

“We can go to my office.”

Oh my God he was being serious. I gaped at him, wide eyed.

“Sure.”

I said hesitantly, still unsure that this was really happening. I was expecting him to laugh and say this was all a big joke.

Carmen nodded.

“Perfect. Um… I’ll be waiting.”

As he pushed past me and made his way to his office, his shoulder touched me. The feeling lingered. I stood still, in shock, gazing aimlessly at the plain wall.

What.

The.

Fuck.

-

I gently pushed the door open, peering into the dimly lit office. Carmen sat, the heel of his hand resting on his brow. I allowed myself to stare. He hadn't noticed my presence yet. My gaze was drawn to the veins protruding from his well-defined biceps. My eyes followed the threads downwards, halting when they landed on one of his numerous tattoos.

My breath hitched, a sudden wave of heat traveling to my core. I could feel wetness pooling between my thighs.

His palm was pressed against the crotch of his pants.

Shit.

He was cupping himself through his jeans.

“Hello.”

I said softly, opening the door slowly so as not to startle him. Carmen quickly redirected his attention towards me, resting both hands on the armrests.

“Hello.”

I closed the door gently behind me, trapping us. We were now cut off from the rest of the world, and the possibilities were limitless.

“Carmen if we stall any longer I’m gonna start having second thoughts.”

Carmen’s eyebrows shot upwards.

“Alright, alright. Let’s get this show on the road then.”

He stood, tugging subtly on his clothing in a futile attempt to hide his growing erection. Carmen lay flat on the floor, his gaze fixed on the ceiling.

I couldn't help but laugh. I'll be honest: he looked a little ridiculous.

“What?”

I waved my hand through the air.

“Oh, nothing.”

Oh shit. I suppose it was my turn to get naked. I kicked off my shoes and shakily undid my jeans, pulling them down until they encircled my ankles.

“Just- if you want me to do something different then-then just tell me because I don’t think I’ll be able to talk because…”

His voice trailed off. I chuckled.

“Because I’ll be sitting on your face?”

I dragged my soaked panties down my legs, adding them to the messy pile of clothing.

“Y-Yeah, exactly.”

Carmen chuckled, but it was an extremely uneasy sound. He was clearly nervous. I couldn't fault him. My nerves were also quite prevalent.

The cool air brushed against my now bare legs, raising goosebumps along my skin. I sauntered over to Carmen, his wide eyes following my every move.

“Shit.”

He mumbled under his breath.

I straddled his waist, running my open palms along his torso, hoping to somewhat reassure him. The strong muscles in his stomach rippled. I bit back a moan as the dull pulsing of his abdomen had slightly stimulated my aching cunt.

“Just- whenever you're ready.”

I nodded, shuffling upwards until I was straddling his neck. Carmen stared at me. His blue eyes were soft and his plush lips were slightly parted. His cheeks encompassed a hint of blush.

“I’ve been ready for a while now.”

I said, staring down at him with a faint smile prevalent on my lips. Carmen swallowed.

“Me too.”

I ran my fingers through his greasy hair. Carmen groaned through a closed mouth as I raked my nails along his scalp.

I positioned myself above his face, admiring his lust blown pupils before sinking down atop his nose.

“Fuck.”

I murmured, my eyes instantly fluttering closed as the tip of his large nose brushed against my swollen clit. Carmen began to hesitantly lap at my velvety wetness, his calloused hands wrapping around my plush thighs to hold me in place.

“Jesus Carmy.”

It was one thing to fantasize about it. When I was in the situation and could indulge in every minute touch, it was a completely different experience.

Carmen began to gradually grow more confident. His tongue began to eagerly penetrate my wet folds. And he bobbed his head in such a way that his nose stimulated my swollen bundle of nerves.

I furrowed my brow in pleasure. The coil within my lower abdomen was tightening. At this point, any sense of unease had vanished.

His nose gave a particularly pleasant nudge to my clit. I convulsed, arching my back as my entire body tensed. My fingers tightened around the roots of his hair. Carmen moaned, the vibrations resonating within my stomach.

My head lulled forward. Carmen’s lively eyes met mine.

“My God Carmen. Your mouth is fucking immaculate.”

My voice was shaky. I couldn't muster a confident tone. He began to quicken his movements, his eagerness growing as a result of the praise.

Shit, he liked that.

“You’re so good Carmen, you make me feel so fucking good.”

I reached behind me. Carmen moaned loudly against my cunt as I tenderly cupped his rock hard erection through his jeans. Surprisingly, his movements didn’t falter. I maintained intense eye contact, preserving the link between our psyches.

“Does this turn you on baby? Does it turn you on when I sit on your pretty face?”

Carmen whimpered. I scoffed breathily, gently massaging his erection.

“Soon I’ll return the favor. I bet your cock would feel really good in my mouth.”

Carmen instintivley jerked his hips against my palm. My abdomen was now pulled tight. The pornographic sucking of his mouth agaisnt my clit was making my brain foggy.

“Fuck Carmy I’m gonna cum.”

I threw my head back, continuing to palm his clothed erection as Carmen erotically ate me out. Every precise movement of his tongue delving between my folds along with the manner in which his nose subtly grazed against my clit was sending me spiraling.

“I bet you’ll look really pretty with my cum all over your face.”

Carmen readjusted his face, his warm lips now wrapped around my clit. He gave a particularly hard suck, and with that, I released. I moaned loudly, praying to the universe that no one was lingering around after hours.

Not that I really cared. I was far too engrossed in the erotic sensation of my boss’s mouth to be thinking of anything beside my freight train of an orgasm that was sweeping throguh my body.

Carmen continued to gently eat me out as I came down. I removed my hand from his cock, refocusing my attention on him. He was lapping at my juices desperately, wanting to prolong this feeling for as long as possible.

When I assumed he was satisfied, I shifted my hips downwards until I was straddling his waist. My cheeks flushed hot as I took in the sight of my wetness completely coating his chin.

“Jesus Carmen. You look hot.”

He licked his lips, a faint smile playing on the corners of his mouth. I leaned forward, giving him a quick kiss. My taste coated my tongue almost instantly.

“Do you want me to put your cock in my mouth?”

I whispered seductively.

“Uh…”

I pulled back.

“I don’t have to if you don’t want me to.”

I said this with as much sympathy as I could muster.

“No-No, it’s not that I don’t want you to, it's just…”

I cocked an eyebrow.

“I don’t think that’s necessary.”

Necessary?

I reached back. Perhaps a subtle touch will entice him to accept my offer.

I furrowed my brow in confusion.

He was soft.

Oh.

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Did you cum in your pants?”

Carmen blushed.

“Y-yeah.”

His bottom lip trembled.

“Sorry.”

I smiled, placing my hands on either side of his head to gain the necessary leverage to press my lips against his.

“It’s alright.”

I mumbled reassuringly.

“I think that’s really fucking hot”

[inplut0]

the bonfire. | j.k

the tension between you and knoxville builds. a lot. set in mid-2003.

word count: 5.6k

warnings: a lot of drinking and smoking (reader is described as a stoner), mentions of age gap, smut, oral (fem. receiving), fingering, p in v sex, unprotected sex, slight breeding kink, knoxville’s dirty mouth in general

"I'm telling you, I don't want to fuck him." You said, an amused expression on your face as you passed the spliff you were smoking over to Bam. You had been on this topic for almost an hour now on and off, and for some reason you just couldn't seem convincing.

"Dude, we all know you do. Just get it over with and tell us if it was good or not." He scoffed, taking a second to suck in a hit before he continued. "The dude has a huge hard-on for you anyway, so might as well shoot your shot."

"I know he has a huge hard-on for me. I'm just...too lazy to deal with that." You groaned as you sunk down in your camp chair. You’d all been sitting at a bonfire outside of someone's friend's house for over two hours now, and you were getting kind of bored. Bam and Ryan had flown in from Pennsylvania the day before, so you were trying to get as much time as possible in with them before they had to leave again, but sometimes they made it hard.

"You're just scared you can't pull him." Bam scoffed, handing the joint back and then dramatically turning in his chair to glance over to where Johnny was. "Although, he's pretty old compared to us."

"I could absolutely pull him. All I'd have to do is bend over in front of him and he'd be barking like a dog." You scoffed, elbowing him not-so-gently. "And who cares if he's older? He acts like he's fucking five."

"So you do want to fuck him." Bam called you out like it wasn't already obvious. "Dude, I'm serious. Go pull your little bend over routine and get out of here. It's physically hurting me to watch you guys anymore."

"Watch us? We barely even talk!" You protested, downing the last of your can of beer before turning back to Bam. "He's not that hard to pull. Remember when that girl kissed his neck and he was blushing like a girl and had to put a pillow in his lap? Easy money."

"Yo! Dunn! C'mere!" Great. Now Bam was bringing another person into this. And, of course, Ryan looked more than happy to drop down in the camp chair across from you. Bam smacked your arm. "We're debating whether or not Y/n’s got enough game to fuck Knoxville."

"Dude, totally. He's like, rock hard for you already." Ryan scoffed, cracking open another beer as he spoke. "You got the guts, though?"

"You know what? You two are assholes." You scoffed, crushing your beer can and tossing it at Ryan's feet. "Watch this shit."

You turned in your chair, looking around and trying to find Johnny again. He'd disappeared from his position next to the ping pong table that Ehren and Steve-O were destroying, and it took you a second to locate him crouched down in front of one of the beer coolers. Perfect.

"Knoxville!" You shouted loudly enough to draw his attention, watching his head crane back in your direction with his sunglasses still sat perfectly on top of his head. It had gotten too dark for him to be able to see properly with them on, so he'd ditched them about half an hour ago. "Can you grab me one?"

"What kind you want?" He shouted back, holding up both Budweiser and PBR. Steve-O had definitely been in charge of beer supply, because all there seemed to be was pisswater for choices. You motioned to his left hand that held the Budweiser, and watched him chuck the other can back into the cooler before kicking it back shut.

"If you two say anything, I'm gonna tell Tremaine to have you shot with paintballs for weeks." You warned quickly as Johnny started his way over, jabbing a finger at each of them individually. You were really praying they didn't mess up your game, because Johnny was going to make it into a huge thing if they did.

"Who? We're not even here." Ryan said dramatically, pretending to zip his lips and throw the key in the fire seconds before Johnny was behind your chair holding the beer over your shoulder.

"You three sharing secrets and braiding each other's hair over here?" He cajoled as he pressed the cold can into your neck, making you wince as he came around the side of your chair and plopped into the empty one that was to your right. "I feel left out."

"Thanks, J." The little nickname lingered on your lips as you took the can from his offering hand, your fingers brushing his as you did so. You watched his eyes stick to yours momentarily, and you could tell that what you were doing was so easily working. Like picking up sticks.

"Fuck off, Knoxville. You don't have enough hair to braid." Bam scoffed, extending his foot across you to kick his friend in the leg. You pushed him away, shooting him a look to kill as you leaned back in your chair slightly.

"We're smoking, if you want some." You offered, motioning to the new joint that Ryan was rolling as we spoke. Johnny shook his head, cracking his beer tab and letting out a gentle sigh.

"On a break right now. I'm sticking to...other things." He said vaguely, putting his feet up on the same empty chair that you currently had yours on. Oh yeah. Easy money.

"Ooh. Other things. My favorite." Bam snorted, as if this conversation was hilarious to him. You shot him another dirty look, and he seemed to take the hint, standing up and wiping his hands off on the legs of his black jeans. "Well, I'm gonna go do something more fucking interesting. Dunn, care to join?"

"Sure, man. I've been hanging out with Y/n way too fucking long, anyway." Ryan scoffed, getting up with the joint still in his hand. You glared at him and held your hand out.

"Leave the weed, fuckhead." You ordered, watching him sigh before dropping the perfectly-rolled joint in the palm of your hand. You then watched them walk away to where they could still watch both of you before turning your attention back to Johnny. "Well? What does 'other things' entail?"

"Nothing heavier than cigs and beer. The way god intended." He sighed, reaching down to grab your lighter off the ground and then handing it over to you.

"What're you taking a break for?" He was kind of making you feel guilty for smoking in front of him, but he was the one that had chosen to drop down right next to the world's biggest stoner.

"Recovery. I feel like I haven't slept for days." He sighed, letting out a slight chuckle as he reached into his back pocket to retrieve a pack of cigarettes. "So. After this, you think you'll be willing to do more stunts?" Huh. Maybe not easy money.

"You want me to do stunts? For what?" You were genuinely surprised. Sure, you'd let Steve-O convince you to do the whole skateboard-into-the-water thing, but that had only been because Bam got food poisoning and needed a stand in.

"Just in case we make another movie! Filming never stops, Y/n/n." He explained, his arm moving to rest on your armrest as he spoke. You frowned at the nickname, moving your arm to rest next to his as you looked out at the fire pit.

"Probably. I liked the money." You said thoughtfully, lighting up the joint and making a point to blow the smoke to your left instead of your right so that it wasn't directly in his face. "I thought you said you were banning women from stunts."

"I did. You're different." He said simply, and you watched him attempt and fail to hide the fact that he was looking directly at your tits in your low-cut tank top. You raised an eyebrow at him in question at calling you 'different'. He quickly spluttered at the look on your face. "Because you're—you're badass. You're different."

"I'm taking that as a compliment." While you talked, you had been slowly inching your feet closer to his, and your shoes were now touching. If he noticed, he didn't say anything about it. "So? What would the next stunt be?"

"Well, we were playing with the idea of...naked barrel racing...across a tarp of lube." It was clear by his face that he was proud of his idea, but you could also tell that he was embarrassed to have to tell you what it was. It actually made you laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of that plan.

"You just want to see me naked." You accused, narrowing your eyes at him. He chuckled, looking unbothered by your accusation before taking another drag from his cigarette.

"What makes you think that? All the guys would be naked, same as you." He said, raising one eyebrow quizzically. You shrugged, a coy smile dragging onto your face.

"Hey. I don't know what you're into. Could be both." You said, hitting your joint as you studied his face. For someone who currently had your foot brushing purposely against his leg, he looked pretty at ease.

"Oh, not me. I'm a tits man, myself." He chuckled, his eyes moving back down to where you were now definitely moving your foot up his leg before looking back to you. "I'm just playing, doll. I'm planning on shooting them with paintball guns once they get out there, so you can't do the stunt."

With those words, a leg dropped down on yours, and you looked down towards your feet to see that he'd trapped the leg moving against his with his own.

"But, I'm sure I can get what I want in a different setting." He concluded, eyes flitting back up to yours. His fingers had now inched over your hand where his arm was next to yours on the arm rest, and you could feel the bandaid that was around his ring finger from picking up a broken bottle on set a couple of days prior.

"Oh yeah? And what exactly is that?" You were so thankful that it took a lot of weed to get you high, because you were afraid that you didn't sound as put-together as you thought you did. He seemed completely sober, and you could help but feel nervous about his hand on yours.

"Come on. I thought that was obvious." He drawled with a wide grin, leaning in close to your ear so that his breath tickled your skin. "I wanna see you bent over and spread in every pretty position I can think of."

"Whew. You pick up fast. I was afraid I was gonna have to get drunk and show you my tits." You laughed, turning slightly in your seat and setting your joint on top of your beer can so that your hands were free.

"Offer's still on the table." He teased, winking at you as he slowly brought your hand up before pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

"Well, how's this?" You then leaned in to kiss him, and were satisfied to see that he met you halfway there, your hand immediately pulling out of his to cup his cheek instead. Kissing Johnny Knoxville. Cross that off the old bucket list.

When you broke away, you were out of breath, and you could feel the way your heartbeat was going a million miles a minute as he leaned away to take another drag of his cigarette without a care in the world.

"You know, I hate it when you call me Knoxville. Sounds better when you're saying my real name." He said, brown eyes on yours as he spoke. The party was loud, and everyone was drunk and shouting at each other, but he spoke so calmly and quietly you almost didn't hear him.

"PJ Clapp. That's so much sexier." You said with a grin, waiting until he wasn't 100% paying attention to lean over your chair and mouth you owe me money to Bam and Ryan, who had just watched that entire exchange. He chuckled.

"Yeah, that's why I don't use it." He sighed, looking up at you once again after he had ashed his cigarette onto the grass between his feet. "You know, I'm a little old for you. I have gray hairs."

"They should call you Silver Foxville." You said dryly, rolling your eyes as you glanced to the limited space between your lips. You’d kissed him once, and now you really wanted it again. And again. "Your dick still works, doesn't it?"

"Thank you for proving that I'm not just a pretty face." He poked fun at your attention to that one certain thing, and he just proved his point with his wide grin. You shrugged, pushing your boldness to the highest level you could stand.

"Pretty face means nothing if you don't have a pretty dick." You said coyly, leaning away from him again to take another hit off of your joint and blow it away from him. You felt a surge of satisfaction as you saw the shaken look on his face. Considering the people he was friends with, you’d assumed he'd heard worse.

"Shit. You're making me fuckin' harder than Portland cement." He muttered, tilting your chin fully towards himself just as you were exhaling another cloud of smoke and pressing his lips to yours as you basically transferred your smoke right into his lungs. "Wanna feel?"

When you gave your hum of approval, you felt his hand on your wrist, and then he was pressing your palm into the bulge of his Dickies, a low groan escaping his lips as your fingers cupped his hard cock through his pants. You were thanking god that your chairs were facing away from everyone else in the group, because you were not a fan of the idea of pictures of what you and Johnny were doing at the moment.

"Fuck. Let's go somewhere else." You mumbled against his mouth, slowly pulling your hand away from him as your eyes darted towards the house that barely anyone else was in. You knew he would've been perfectly fine with you feeling him up to completion right there in the yard, but you were really trying to preserve your dignity, high or not.

"Come on. I know the house." He breathed, breaking away from you and dropping his cigarette under the toe of his close-to-destroyed converse before his eyes zeroed in on the spliff still between your fingers. There wasn't much left, but still enough to where you felt guilty about abandoning it. "And let me see that."

You handed it over hesitantly, half worried that he was going to give the joint the same treatment as his cigarette, but then let out a sigh of relief when he took a hit that had his eyes watering and smoke pouring out of his nose as he coughed. Wow. He really hadn’t been lying about taking a break.

Once he was satisfied with his hit, he handed it back over to you before taking your hand and beginning the walk through the sliding back door and into the house. You prayed for your tomorrow self's sake that no one was paying attention to you both, hoping that somehow the only two people going inside instead of coming out were going magically unnoticed.

"I should really be taking you back to my house. I feel bad." Johnny said as he closed the door behind you, his hand tightening in yours as he dodged expertly around the table and chairs that were moved messily all around the room. You scoffed.

"I don't give a fuck. We could be in a club bathroom for all I care." You said honestly, taking one last hit of your joint before setting the butt down on the kitchen counter as you passed by. His strides were much longer than yours, and you were hurrying to keep pace with him.

"Just how I like it." Just as he spoke, he gently nudged you into an open door, revealing a small bedroom which was quickly determined to be Star Wars themed. You frowned at him, to which he waved it off. "Scott's an eccentric decorator. He's got all themed bedrooms."

"Glad you picked the good one." You muttered as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his sunglasses from the top of his head and discarding them on the opposite edge of the bed. His fingers immediately danced over the bottom hem of your decently-short shorts (which you’d actually repeatedly caught him staring at throughout the day of both shooting and partying), pulling them up further over your ass before his hands were kneading your exposed skin.

"Take 'em off." He spoke into your mouth, his hands moving back upwards until his fingers laced their way into your hair so that he could hold you tighter against his kiss. You did as he requested easier than you were willing to admit, yanking them down your hips to reveal your black and white cotton thong. Kind of cheesy, but you didn't miss the way his eyes lit up when he noticed it.

There was a moment where he just studied you, and just as you was going to move in and try to shield yourself from his sharp gaze, his hand was on your lower back and he was gingerly knocking you back onto the bed. He was on you seconds after your head hit the galaxy-print pillows, his hands roughly rucking your legs up over his hips as his lips pressed back onto yours.

You knew you were fucked. You could tell by both the way your whole body shook from just his hungry kisses and the fact that you were already missing his presence when he was still on top of you. But you didn't even care enough to think about it. All you could think about was the fact that he was pulling your tank top over your head, and then his hands were on your tits. He broke your kiss to look down at you, one hand using his thumb to brush over your sensitive nipple as the other held your jaw so that you couldn't look away from him.

"Listen to me, sweetheart." He said breathlessly, biting his bottom lip as he looked down at you in a way that you had never once seen from him in the past four years of knowing him. It was making every part of you that craved him throb even more. "I'm gonna eat your pussy, and you're gonna be a good girl and let me, understand?"

That almost killed you right then and there. You had been pretty sure you were going to be screwed before, but now you were positive. Your legs were tightening around his hips with every word, and you could barely get yourself under control enough to give him a nod. He smiled in satisfaction, then gave you one last kiss before he was pulling out of your grasp, lips leaving a trail of soft kisses down your arm as he slid himself down further towards the edge of the bed.

"So fuckin' hot. Smell so fuckin' delicious." He said as he moved, his fingers nimbly dragging the waistband of your underwear right down your legs as he went along. It was ridiculously smooth, and it made you even wetter for him as you waited less-than-patiently for him to get his mouth on you.

"Please, PJ." You whimpered, legs jello in his hold as he trailed his tongue up your inner thigh. You weren’t someone who usually allowed yourself to be teased, but something about the way he was touching you had you so transfixed that you couldn't even be bothered to complain. He chuckled.

"Oh, I like it when you whine for me. Say my name one more time and I'll let you have what you want." He crooned, sinking his teeth gently into your sensitive skin. You arched your hips up in the direction of his mouth, eager to get some form of release in any way you could manage.

"PJ. Need you so bad." You whined again, lip drawn harshly between your teeth as you watched him with desperate eyes. There was a glint in his gaze that made your heart pound, and you practically saw stars when his lips finally moved to where you needed him, his tongue laving around your clit and down over your entrance in one smooth motion. "Holy shit."

"Shh. Be a good girl for me and keep your mouth shut." He muttered, only taking that split second to remove his mouth before it was back at full force, his lips sucking adamantly at your clit as his tongue weaved intricate symbols that had you rolling your hips against his mouth. Despite his telling you to shut up, you couldn't stifle the moans that welled their way into your throat, your voice high-pitched and strung-out on pleasure.

He brushed his tongue across your clit over and over again, occasionally licking down to push his tongue into your entrance, his fingers replacing his tongue on your clit each time he did so. It felt so good that you felt like you couldn’t see what was in front of you, your senses blinded and heavy with pleasure as he ate you out like no man had ever done before.

"You like everyone hearing how good I'm making you feel? 'S that why you can't control yourself?" He cooed as he removed his lips from my clit, a single finger pushing into you as a replacement as he gazed up at you with sly lust. You let out a disappointed gasp at the change in sensation, your clit aching in his absence. When he saw your face, a second finger followed his first, leaving his index and middle fingers curled inside you fully. "Who knew Y/n Y/l/n was such a pretty little slut."

"Please. Need more." Your voice was airy and distraught, fingers laced in the comforter on either side of you as you urged him to finish what he had originally started. You felt so close, yet so far.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head. You’re gonna get what you want." He promised, curling his fingers forward and pushing them upwards in a slow but precise movement that had your hips involuntarily jerking forward and the air rushing from your lungs. Jesus, he really was good.

He started to push his fingers against that sweet little spot inside of you slowly, his cheek pressed against your inner thigh as he watched his digits disappear into you over and over again. And then, just as you were beginning to think that it wasn't going to be enough, his dipped his mouth back to your pussy, his tongue pressing back against your clit as his fingers worked in and out of you.

Your eyes slammed shut as your head pushed back against the pillow, your chest heaving as you took in the obscene slurping sounds he was making with his tongue mixed with the wet sounds caused by his fingers. He shouldered your legs even further apart, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he stared up at you the entire time.

Your climax was approaching almost embarrassingly fast. Your late night fantasies of Johnny Knoxville's head between your legs was even hotter than you had imagined many times before, and the sight of him grinding his hips down into the bed with every swirl of his tongue was making your entire body thrum with heat.

"I can feel you squeezin' my fingers, dollface. Let me feel you cum on my tongue." Johnny encouraged as he continued to push his fingers into you, his free hand pushing on your hip to keep you from pushing up into his mouth as aggressively as you wanted to. Your moans and gasps were now way beyond your control, and your voice only got louder as your back arched up, your climax hitting you hard enough to make you see stars as your eyes fell back open.

You had half a mind to clap your hand over your mouth as you panted and whined through your orgasm, your free hand taking a handful of his dark brown hair and pulling as you came. He didn't stop his tongue and fingers until your voice gave out and you were forcibly gasping for air, your grip in his hair going lax as you came back down to earth.

"Holy fuck." You breathed, wincing when he pulled his fingers out of you and accepting him with open arms as he moved back up to look at you with gleeful eyes and a spit-soaked chin. You reached out and used the collar of his shirt to pull up and wipe his mouth off, only to have him immediately suck his equally-wet fingers into his mouth once you had dropped the fabric back down to his throat.

"Damn. Can't get you to shut your mouth no matter if you're gettin' finger-fucked or not." He said cockily as he pulled his fingers from his mouth and wiped them off on his shirt. When you gave him a dirty look, he leaned his head to the side to suck gently at your neck, the rumble of his baritone laugh tickling your skin. "Although, haven't fucked you yet. We'll see."

"I can't cum again so fast." You said in surprise as he began to undo the buckle of his KNOXVILLE belt, a hand moving to his chest as you looked up at him with wide eyes. Your legs were still shaking, and if you had been loud before, it was only going to get worse if he fucked you while you were so sensitive. He kissed you gently, his eyes locked on yours.

"You can take it. Look, you've already got your legs spread nice and wide for me." He reassured, his hand gripping your thigh as he ripped his belt from his belt loops. You weren’t quite reassured, but you fumbled to get the zipper of his pants down regardless, his lips on yours encouraging you to let him do whatever the hell he wanted with you.

Once he had completely gotten his pants undone with your help, he stood up to quickly shuffle them off along with his boxers, leaving him bare from the waist down in front of you. Your mouth practically watered at the sight of his cock, hard and leaking against the hem of his t-shirt. You barely gave him any time to stand there, pulling him back in with your fingers around his wrist before he was kneeling in front of your spread legs with his mouth half-open.

"You got a condom somewhere?" He asked suddenly, eyes unable to pull away from between your legs as he spoke to you. You mentally slapped myself, because of course you didn't have one, and since he was asking, he obviously didn't either. Unsafe sex was called unsafe sex for a reason.

However, you were too impatient to think rationally.

"No. You can just pull out." You said impatiently, watching as he gently pulled your legs back over his thighs. His gaze was so searing and yet his hands were more than careful with you, his touch so light it almost felt as if you were moving on your own.

"I like the way you think." He teased, pumping himself a few times as his eyes finally dragged their way back up to yours. "Be as loud as you want, gorgeous. I don't give a fuck."

You nodded as if you even had a choice, holding your breath as you felt the tip of his cock swipe through your pussy before he was slowly pushing himself into you. If there were any lingering thoughts in your head of anyone else you had ever even considered having sex with in the past, each and every one was erased with the drag of his cock inside of you. You both let out heated gasps, his hand tightening on your leg just above your knee and your head falling back once again. You were still a little sensitive from your last orgasm, and every touch felt like electricity as he slowly pushed his way completely inside of you.

"Fuck, you feel so good." He groaned, his hips stilling momentarily as you tensed at his length. As his tip brushed against your cervix with just his entering thrust, you knew you were in for it. You had seen him naked more times than you had previously been a fan of whilst working for Jackass, and at the time you had assumed he was a shower, but holy fuck was he a grower. It made another shudder of pleasure race up your stomach. "So fucking tight."

He didn't seem to be able to stand much time waiting, and before you knew it, he was slowly rolling his hips into you, his cock hitting every still-sensitive nerve as he fucked into you. You watched in ecstasy as he pulled the hem of his shirt up his muscled torso, biting it between his teeth so that he had both hands free to pull you forward on his cock.

"Oh. Right there. Right there." You gasped, moaning languidly as he picked up the pace of his hips and fucked right against the spot that he'd had his fingers against not three minutes before. He groaned in agreement, his head falling back and pulling his shirt further up his chest as he put all his movement into his hips.

You were really hoping that rubbing against the mattress while he'd been eating you out had gotten him at least a little close to cumming, because your second orgasm was quickly edging its way through your nerves as he fucked you hard enough to make the bed creak painfully loud. If anyone walked in through the unlocked door by that point, it was going to be their own fault.

"You look so good, takin' my cock like such a pretty little slut." Johnny purred, holding your legs open hard enough to make your muscles ache as he slammed into you over and over again. The pleasure was so good and so intense that your eyes were watering, and you could feel tears starting to track down the side of my face as you gripped helplessly at the sheets in a failed attempt to ground yourself with something. "You'd look so good with my cum dripping out of you."

You tried to mouth not funny, but all you could do was moan, his filthy words making you teeter dangerously on the edge of cumming before you were ready. You weren’t on birth control, but you weren’t exactly a big fan of making good decisions anyway, so you decided that if you weren’t able to get the words out, that you really didn't need to say them.

"Fuck, you want me to fill you up?" He questioned, his voice muffled by his t-shirt still between his teeth and his words followed by a low groan. "Fill you up like the good little slut that you are?"

You whined in agreement, nodding your head as best you could as you arched your back up further with every slam of his cock against your cervix. It was a pleasured pain, one that you knew you’d be feeling for the next couple of days.

"I'm gonna cum, princess." He whined, seconds before his hips stuttered and you felt him cum inside of you, warmth painting your insides as you let out a porno-style moan and came right there on the spot with him. That had to be a good sign for the both of you, right? "So goddamn good."

Your second orgasm was even more blinding, and your vision went white as your back arched up painfully, your fingers helplessly pulling at the bed as you whimpered and gasped with every wave of pleasure that coursed through your body. His hands stayed on your hips the entire time until you were verbally begging him to stop thrusting his cock into you, the wet sound of him pushing his cum back inside reaching your ears as he slowly moved to a stop.

"You sounded so good, baby. Did so good." He babbled, immediately falling forward to press his lips sloppily to your throat as his hips moved lazily as he thrusted his last bit of energy out. Your head was spinning and your legs and pussy were already aching in the sweetest way possible as you wrapped your arm around his neck.

"God, you're fucking good at that." You breathed, letting out a strangled gasp when he finally pulled out of you. Whoever used the Star Wars comforter next was going to notice a suspicious looking stain right in the middle of it next time they got into bed.

"I can't believe it took us this long." He said, his breath coming out in pants as he steadied himself with one hand on the mattress next to your head. You realized with the increased quiet inside the room that you could hear multiple people talking and shouting at each other from outside of the door, and you mentally cringed because you knew that were was no way that you hadn't been overheard.

"Everyone's gonna know." You mumbled, carding your fingers through his hair as you finally felt your breathing beginning to calm again. You could feel his heartbeat against yours, and it still hadn't slowed down either. It made you feel a little bit better about yourself. He pressed a kiss to your temple, then your cheek, then your lips.

"Good. Then everyone will know that I'm the one who's giving it to you good, and I won't have any competition."

Oh yeah. You were done for.

[inplut0]

a whore

these pics of jk aren’t seen as much as they should be

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I love this video so much

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i have a stinky boner rn

i wanna [redacted]

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i want to inhale this picture i want to consume it this is the last thing i want to see before i die

HE IS LITERALLY MY BOYFRIEND

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it's party boy

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GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY THIS IS THE FRUITIEST PICTURE IVE EVER SEEN GAY (I'm gay btw) (I also love himbos) (he's a himbo 100%) (pls marry me)

[inplut0]

Dating Older VS Younger Johnny Knoxville

Rating: fluff, then explicit but NSFW is marked

A/N: these are just some headcanons that I can’t get out of my head. Warning it’s barely edited and I’m on mobile to the formatting is god awful, but enjoy!

Younger

I feel like the two of you would constantly be going out. Like you don’t really go on serious dates, more like the two of you just hangout all the time. Like attached at the hip

Long car rides, going to pickup food, watching a movie on the couch, even going to the bar with your friends are considered dates

You both just have such hectic lives so your relationship is based on spontaneous moments

I feel like things are a lil messy. Y’all are young, so you’re doing your own thing finding your place in the world

This means long periods of time spent apart doing movies and other jobs. But, you always find your way back to each other

He’ll see you for the first time in months and pick you up and spin you around in a huge hug.

“Baby you don’t know how much I’ve missed you”

Grips your head in those big hands of his and kisses you like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do

Time apart makes the time you spend together more meaningful. Lots of time spent catching up and making up for the lost time if you know what I mean. Just chatting while the two of you are in his kitchen making breakfast or while one of you is getting their makeup done for shooting. You’re always just there for each other

As soon as something happens to him he wants to tell you. If a stunt goes good and you’re not there he’s calling you to tell you all about it.

“You’re not gonna believe what just happened, sweetie”

“I have ten minutes left of my break, tell me all about it”

He just adores you.

When you are on set though, you’re everyones work wife

You’re right next to Chris dressed up in a stupid lifeguard costume. The two of you definitely have matching cheerleader outfits. Chris is asking if his thong is clashing with your outfit.

I don’t think Johnny would get jealous around the guys, he enjoys the banter you have with them and is glad you all get along

I feel like he’s kinda like if the guys found you hot. 😳 like he’s just like that’s my girl and y’all can admire her but you can’t have her

The odd occasion you get picked to join a stunt, Johnny obviously is worried, but I feel like he’s more proud? Like lowkey finds it super hot

He likes the stupid adrenaline pumped grin on your face whenever you look to him for approval when you think you’ve done something cool

“You did so great baby, I’m so proud of you” and kisses you on the forehead

He just thinks you’re the coolest person ever

Sometimes you get to play the role of the prize if someone completes a stunt first. Even though he’s not competing he always ends up winning. Definitely just tasers the winner and kisses you proudly

Gets jealous in a sexy, pulls you onto his lap wherever he’s sitting and keeps you there all night, kinda way

Physical touch is definitely his love language

He stands behind you with his hands on your hips at all times. Kisses your forehead when he’s proud of you. Holds both of your hands whenever you’re talking.

NSFW

You guys fuck all the time

Like an excessive amount

Like all of the guys have seen the two of you in some state of fucking it’s just normal at this point

He’s not afraid to go to the washroom to fuck at a party.

The amount of times y’all have been you have definitely fucked in a private hospital room

Definitely more of a soft dom

Probably tries to get you to call him daddy

“Are you gonna be good for daddy and suck his cock?”

He likes to receive better

Don’t get me wrong he’s always down to go down on you. But, there’s just something about the way his cock looks in your mouth that he can’t ever stop thinking about

Older

Way more lowkey of a couple

Definitely have date night

It’s on Thursdays and he wouldn’t miss it for the world. It’s the highlight of his week. Turns his phone off and everything. Loves seeing you get all dolled up just for him

“Fuck, you are gorgeous, honey”

When you get home you either sit on the couch or in your backyard, just listening to music enjoying each other’s presences

He touches you more meaningfully?

Like every time he puts his hands on you it’s out of pure affection for you. Comforts him to feel you under his hands

Hand on your lower back constantly

Quality time is the most important

Whenever either of you get a second in your day, you call for ten seconds or ten minutes. Just because you’re so in love. Best friends.

You’re the cast mom

Especially to the new cast members. Just constantly being worried about them, not wanting them to push themselves too far. But being so proud and supportive when they complete something

I feel like they come to you for advice and you definitely stick up for them when Jeff and Johnny are trying to get them into doing a risky stunt

Johnny adores your caring nature

You bicker about going too far

I mean when he was writing stunts you were definitely giving him even more fucked up ideas. But, to see them in practice you get a lil worried

Especially about him

Loves when you baby him though. He likes how you play nurse and are extra sweet to him. Gets a little jealous on set when you’re super worried about a cast member so to have you be exponentially more worried about him just gives him reassurance.

Him on the other hand constantly is trying to stop you from doing stunts. Anytime you do, his anxiety is at a peak.

He’s right at the sidelines wringing his hands nervously. Super quiet, not really able to focus on anything but your safety.

If you get slightly hurt he’s not having you do another stunt, his old man heart will simply fail. Only nominated you for pranks

You’re his number one priority at all times

I just feel like the two of you are a real unit. Truly each other’s other half

Surfing dates

Waking up early in the morning and just going to the beach

If you don’t surf, you just sit on the beach watching, he’s old so it’s funnier when he falls

“Did you see that!?”

Running up to you just for a quick kiss after he does something cool. Both just grinning like idiots

NSFW

Bro the sex gets dirtier

Y’all don’t fuck as much, but when you do GODDAMN

Not many quickies. He prefers nothing super rushed, likes to take his time with you

A 👏 Giver 👏

That man loves eating pussy

You lying on your back with your legs over his shoulder and he’s just going to town

Nowhere risky anymore, typically starts with making out on your couch, straddling his lap

If you are out somewhere, he likes to make you wait. Will whisper dirty things in your ear, trying to rile you up more. But won’t touch you till your in the car or at home.

Really slow make outs

He’s just a huge tease okay. He wants you to be desperate enough to beg for him. Like that wild look in your eyes, desperate to cum but won’t do anything else he tells you.

Definitely one of his big hands wrapped around your throat when you fuck.

“Don’t worry, I’m gonna give you want you need baby”

[inplut0]

enya is so real for this also watch emergency intercom if ur hot and sexy

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the absolutely disgusting things i would do for this man

steve-o looked so fine in jackass 3d

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Posted this on tiktok figured I'd post it here as well

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I had a decent story idea...I think lol. What do you think about OC and silver foxville dating for like 4 months and never doing the nasty... mainly cause of work schedules and maybe OC has a busted water heater or gas leak at her house and knoxville offers to let her stay with him and they finally do the nasty??

DISCLAIMER: hi this was a very specific request but i hope this works for u LOL!! i haven't edited this yet, so i apologise for any mistakes, this was written at 2am.

WARNINGS: smut, barely any plot, silver foxville<33333

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you knew that getting a new apartment was long due, but you had hoped that it wouldn't be necessary since the 6-month anniversary with your boyfriend was coming up. you thought it was a good idea to bring up moving in together. it was a little early, obviously, you hadn't even had sex yet. you both thought it was best to wait, not used to the age gap. you didn't mind, of course, but johnny didn't want you to feel like he was taking advantage of you, so you mutually agreed not to rush anything.

your landlord called you at work to tell you that there's suspicion of a gas leak in the building, recommending you to find another place to stay for the night. you had rarely stayed at johnny's apartment, since his work days were long, often returning home after 1am. you texted him, hoping he was free tonight and explained the situation.

after you got off work, he texted you that he'd be home in an hour and gladly would have you over. you quickly got into your car and drove, his apartment about a 10 minute drive away from yours. you parked on the side of the street, assuming you'd be home by the morning and hoping you wouldn't get a ticket.

you walk up to the apartment complex, enter the entry code and head upstairs to his apartment.

knock, knock...

you hadn't waited for 5 seconds when the door flung open, johnny in front of you, his silver hair disheveled, his appearance tired and worn out. you study him, looking him up and down. he was wearing a blue t-shirt, a little tight around his chest, and grey sweatpants.

"come in," he smiled and gestured to the living room. his apartment wasn't too heavily decorated and very simple. large windows on every wall, an impressive bookshelf, a black couch and the most comfortable queen-sized bed you've ever slept in.

for a man, he was quite clean and really took care of himself. he changed his sheets regularly, his house always spotless. even with his long work hours, he found time to clean the apartment. he even bought shampoo and conditioner separately.

"i'm sorry for making plans so last-minute, i didn't know where else to go." you quickly entered the apartment, throwing your bag and coat on the couch and immediately making your way to the bedroom, exhausted after a long day.

"don't worry about it, i was just heading home anyway and you know i would never pass up on an opportunity to see you, doll." he followed you into the bedroom, taking his shirt off and handing it to you, since you didn't bring any of your stuff.

"you're making me blush, knoxville." you chuckled, stripping down to your underwear and pulling his shirt over your head, his eyes running over your body, your curves. you were planning on showering in the morning since your eyes were already heavy with sleep when you were driving, and anyway, you could always shower with him if you wanted to.

you both slip under the silk sheets and meet in the middle of the bed, you put your head on his chest. you look up at him and brush your fingers through his gray hair that you have always adored. once your eyes meet you can't help but smile, feeling safer than ever in his presence. he lifts himself up to connect your lips, initiating a soft kiss that gradually gets more and more heated.

his large hand travels to the back of your neck as he turns you over on your back, him hovering over you, without breaking the kiss. you throw your arms over his neck to bring him closer, completely consumed by his smell, his body. when he bites your lower lip you lift your hips from the bed to meet his, earning a muffled grunt from him.

"are you sure?" he whispers, breaking the kiss and maintaining eye contact. your brain was completely focused on him, the street light outside the only light in the room, one side of his face clearly more visible than the other.

you bite your lip and nod, how could you say no now? the view was just too perfect. his lips return to yours, this time more eager, his tongue in your mouth, one hand trailing down your waist, the other behind your neck, keeping you close to him. you slightly pull his hair and moan into his mouth, more than ready for him.

your hands travel under the sheets to help him remove his sweatpants, discarding of them as he pulls his shirt off your head, leaving you both in your underwear. he trails down to your neck, leaving small kisses and bites while he removes your bra, the clothes piling up into the corner of the room.

you throw your head back, giving him easier access to the crook of your neck, nothing but your panting filling the room. you hand doesn't leave his hair, tugging on the hairs on the back of his head occasionally. you repeatedly lift your hips his, wanting to remove the layer of fabric between you two.

"you're gonna be the death of me, sweetheart." he muffles into your shoulder. you remove your underwear and help him take his boxers off. he chuckles at your eagerness, though still a little nervous, since this is the first time for you two, not knowing what to expect.

your hand travels down his chest to grab his erection and line it up with your entrance. his breathing becomes heavier as he concentrates on your facial expressions.

"you ready, doll?" he whispers, slowly pushing into you right when he hears a quiet "yes" escape your mouth. once he's fully buried himself inside you, he lets you adjust to his length. you hold your breath as he fully pulls himself out completely. you gasp at the loss of contact before he enters you again, this time slightly faster.

his hips start thrusting, not too aggressively, once you've completely adjusted to him. you grab onto his shoulders and close your eyes.

"faster." you command, and he immediately complies, his thrusts becoming more frantic and rhythmic. silent moans escape your mouth when his mouth finds your neck again, nipping at it. he grabs your hand, holding it down next to your head as his hips brush against yours at a fast pace.

you feel him coming closer to his high as he loudly grunts against your shoulder. his hand leaves yours and three fingers travel down to your clit, rubbing small fast circles, hoping that you'll both finish together.

he lifts his head up to watch you, his pace not slowing down. your legs twitch and shake as you moan his name repeatedly, not able to resist the heat building up in your stomach.

"you're so good to me, sweetheart" he says between thrusts, that have become sloppier now, you both reaching your high at the same time. your vision goes black when your orgasm washes over you as you feel his body go limp against yours when he spills inside you, comforted by the fact that you remembered to take your birth control yesterday.

your sweaty bodies stay like that for a few minutes, limbs entwined with one another, not letting each other go. you feel him breathe against your ear and you lightly scratch his back with one hand.

before you can say goodnight, you feel the warm sun on your face and wake up to johnny next to you, hands around your waist, still sound asleep.

"morning," you whisper into his ear, waking him up with a big grin on his face.

"wanna hop in the shower with me?" you tease, knowing the offer is too good to resist.