joannakia

[joannakia]

[joannakia]

The price you pay for ignoring your gut feeling is very expensive

[joannakia]

[joannakia]

Bro if we cant scream emo songs at the top of our lungs & be emo together then whats the point

[joannakia]

JISOO ♡ RAIN in BLACKPINK’s Music Videos

[joannakia]

This is 🌈 hate free zone 🌈

Reblog if you’re safe for people of any gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, religion, etc

as long as you spread love.

[joannakia]

[joannakia]

[joannakia]

I knew what it was going to happen again.

"Good morning honey" I heard my mother whisper in my ears again, this sweet voice saying over and over again all this years these annoying words. I opened my eyes and smiled as an answer. She left my room and I was there, in a cold, empty, dark place which sometimes I can't even recognise since I come here only to sleep. Oh God. Not this feeling again. My stomach feels like a stone and my heart beats fast, I am barely able to breathe. "Baby, it's time for breakfast, get up." I heard her voice again, this time she sounded angier. "Yes mom, I'm coming". <<Coming>>. My body actually goes everywhere, but, my breain is in an even more than my room darker place. I call it over thinking, but doctors call it anxiety. Is that thing again which I ask myself "what if.." Full stop. You know what's that "what if" thing, huh? Literally every single thought is a disaster. "What if she will make fun of me" "What if I fail the test"

"What if I'm too late for the class" "what if I won't get the bus on time". I went to the kitchen to get breakfast. And then it started again. " Uhm.. Mom.. What time is it?" "It's uh..7.12". Oh my God, I'll get late. I got up quickly and wore my clothes for school, I picked up my jacket and grabbed my bag. " Bye mom" I kissed her cheeks and walk outdoors. "Take care" was the last thing I heard her saying. <<Take care>> I smiled. Thinking about school I walked to the bus stop. I knew what was going to happen again. The bus just left. "Oh really?" I sighed. "I'm going to get late to school again". <Again>> this word is always getting over my mind. Okay. Just breathe. I caught the next bus and went to school. Teachers, students, parents. All of them saying a fake <<Good morning>> thinking about the end of the day to go home. Go home. That's what we all need. Go home. A loud scream took me out of my thoughts. It was the headmaster. <<oh no, what's wrong again>>. Again. This word is haunting me. Oh, well. Nothing special. He just wanted to do notice to some kids. <<What a mess>> I said in my head. The situation gave me a long fast he art beat. <<Okay, calm down, it's just 7 hours. Maybe less, or more. Oh, God. I have to stop thinking>>. The first two classes were just fine. And now it's the biggest mess. The first break. The break that everyone is running down the stairs and yell, laugh, some girls are talking at the corner, I can barely hear their giggles which made me feel kind of better. I'm waiting for my friends at the edge of the stairs. I close my eyes and hear the loud voices of some guys cursing for fun each other. <<I hope I won't get in trouble again>> I'm not usually getting in troubles but you never know. I see my friends. A smile is drawn on my face. "Ay guys, what's up?" I wasn't waiting for an answer but then k heard my friend's voice "Well, nothing special, two boring lessons in raw.." I smile. "Well, welcome to high school." The school bell rang. "Okay, see you at the next break guys." We went to our lessons. Everything was cool. "Raise your hand if you didn't do your homework" the teacher said, couple of students raised their hands. <<I didn't my homework again..what am I supposed to do.>> I'm not the good student, not even an average student. I did nothing. I just took off my sketch book and start drawing, flowers, faces, dresses. The lessons ended the same way. Time to go home. Finally. I got in the bus, a lot of students stuck with each other. I could barely breathe. My friends were complaining for their day, a friend of mine was listening to his favorite singer's new album. I pushed the stop button, so I'll walk home. A couple of kids were laughing <<are they making fun of me again?>> again? Why do I have to be so self-centered? Nobody knows me. I have to stop thinking as soon as possible. I walked home and had my launch with my mom. "How was school?" <<Damn, what do I say now?>> "Uhm, just fine, mom, you know, the same as every day" She smiled. I hope she won't get disappointed. But if she does? <<Just stop thinking, you're making it worst.>> I got up and washed the dishes, then I went to my bedroom to study. <<I can't understand a word. What if he asks me to stand up tomorrow?>> my heart starts beating fast again, kind of unable to breathe or move. I lay in bed so I can clean my mind. I didn't notice the time passing and it was already night. Knock, knock. "Baby, are you sleeping?" "Nah, mom.. I just... I was studying and now I'm getting some rest." She smiled and gave me a kiss on the forehead. "Goodnight." She left me alone. Again. In this cold, empty and dark place. Those thoughts I can't take out of my head just came. Tomorrow is an other day. Tomorrow things will get better. But, let's be realistic. I know what's going to happen again.

[joannakia]

I need you.

You'll never ever know how empty I am since you left.

I hope one day we'll together. Again. Because I deserve you. Because I believe in us. Please. I love you. I need you.

I want to change.

I can change.

I will change.

[joannakia]

You need to cry.

[joannakia]

Be someone's favourite. Not someone's favour.

[joannakia]

[joannakia]

[joannakia]

Έσκυψε...Της έδωσε ένα φιλί...πρέπει να φύγω...Της είπε...εκείνη κατάλαβε πως εκείνο είναι το τελευταίο τους φιλί...εκείνη τον κοιτούσε...τον θαύμαζε πως προχωρούσε με το κεφάλι ψιλά...χωρίς ενοχές....χωρίς έννοιες αν την πλήγωσε...απλά έφυγε...

[joannakia]

For me you are the only one..

[joannakia]