joshuasearing

[joshuasearing]

Wednesday 22nd January 2025

Hey journal so today at work has been very overwhelming and stressful if I am honest. 95% of the time I have been stuck on till and it has been non stop with customers, also at one point I was trying to do bread but when I would do it customers kept on coming to the till, there were also many times when I was about to leave the till after doing loads of orders, but as I was walking towards the bread another customer would appear. Also having to talk to so many people today has been very overwhelming for me. I just hope the next 3 hours at work are not as busy as I could do with playing it a little bit slower as it comes to the last 1/3 of my shift.

Also carrying on from earlier, outside of work has been so stressful as I am trying to get so much done but it is so overwhelming and so hard to get everything done. Also I’m doing extra hours for work this week as they needed someone in. I usually do 6 hour shifts and 4 of them a week, but this week so far I’ve done an 8 hour and 30 minute shift, and now I’m currently in an 8 hour shift and usually I have this whole day off so that’s a lot. After today I will go back to my normal shifts so tomorrow I’ve got a 16:30-23:00pm. Then Saturday I have got an 5:30-12am. Then Sunday a 16:30-23:00pm shift again.

But honestly for today I can’t wait for this shift to end so then I can go home, and chill for a bit before going to bed then sleeping.

Also I thought I would mention on here something, so for a very long time I have been feeling so exhausted in the morning no matter what. I sleep well, I have currently also been eating really well and training etc however always feel like I need more sleep no matter how much sleep I have. Ok I am going to go now journal, goodbye!

[joshuasearing]

Wednesday 22nd January 2025

So the rest of my shift at work was ok apart from these people coming in and were making me feel uneasy. Basically they had came in a couple days prior but they were difficult to deal with that time so I knew they were going to be difficult this time as well. Basically I saw them at a till and they put there beer on a till they clearly says closed, so I wait for them to stop chatting for about 2 minutes as I get ready to serve them as they are not acknowledging me then, I asked if they had a club card and waited about 15 seconds for a response that was very blunt and was just a “No” then one of them starting shadow boxing in the middle of the store in front of a mirror.

Anyways got to get to work speak to you later journal, bye!

[joshuasearing]

Tuesday 21st January 2024

Hi journal so the last few days have been very overwhelming I am really struggling to get everything done that I want to get done but I am trying my best. Also in the morning I am really struggling to get up so I’m constantly getting up around 10-12am which is far to late, but I am always tired no matter how much sleep I get and I really don’t know why. I am eating well, training, looking after myself so I really don’t understand why I’m having this issue it is so annoying. It’s causing me to waste half my life away. Also work needed me to work extra today and also tomorrow. So today instead of doing an 13:30-20:00 I am doing an 13:30-22:00 and then usually I am off tomorrow but I am doing a 14:00-22:00 instead. Work has been ok so far however my car is starting to scare me as basically I am on my break now so I ate my break inside the building then I decided if I wanted to write in here I needed to be in my car for better signal anyways I turned my car on as it was cold and it would just not start I tried like 3 times, then I had to hold the key extra long and it finally started. I am starting to get really scared about this car if I am honest as my car was struggling to start a couple months ago then it has started again today. I am panicking cause I can’t afford to buy another car or even finance another car really. I am really in the position where if this car decides it doesn’t want to start I am going to have to start getting the bus and getting places that way again which is going to make my life so much harder again. My anxiety is really high now due to this car as I finish at 22:00 and I’ve got to pray that it fucking starts once I have finished so I can get home otherwise I am going to have problems getting home and would have to leave my car at work. I am SO SCARED. Anyways past few days I have still been sticking to plan with my fitness coach but the two things I am struggling with the most is getting the steps in and also drinking enough fluid as he wants me to drink 4L and I haven’t succeeded once with that yet. The most I am getting is like 3L at a max. Anyways speak to you later, bye journal!

[joshuasearing]

Friday 17th January 2025

Hey journal so the past few days I have been really focused on training and my nutrition as recently I started paying for a online coach, so now I have bought a digital scale so I can weigh food. I also have daily goals of 8000 steps per day. I also have to try and drink 4L of water every day. Then on top of that every day I have specific food I have to eat. So I have been shopping already a couple times for food I have to eat which is costing me a decent amount of money I have to be real. Also I have been tracking my sets and reps when I am at the gym and following a certain training plan. So a lot of my time had been focused on this. I have also been going work and the past few days to get my steps in I have been going on daily walks which are nice but also time consuming. Also cause I am having certain foods I am having to learn how to cook which I am already getting better at cooking which is good. I have also been watching anime hear and they’re while I get a second. Anyways speak to you later bye journal!

Photos from the past few days! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

[joshuasearing]

Sunday 12th January 2025

Hey journal so last few days have been k but I have been busy again. So work has been good and decent which is ok. Also with work I have been training hard which is good also. I have also really recently completed the book 48 laws of power and am now reading this book called fuck it therapy is what I believe it is called. Also I started watching my first ever anime the other day called Baki which is good and I am near the end of the 3 episode on the first season. Also yesterday me, my brother and my mum went to a trampoline park and that was fun as well to be fair however the time did go really fast as we were only there for an hour. Also yesterday I had a call with this fitness gym coach and now I have a coach that I will being paying £80 monthly for. I have paid the first £80 he is currently in the making of making my first training programme, a nutrition programme and also some other little bits that come with it. Also yesterday I bought myself and digital food scale as I am going to be start weighing the food that I am eating.

Now for today I haven’t done much but the things I have done is, I sent a few pictures to my coach of what my physique looks like in the morning with no food or drink so depleted completely. Then I watched Tottenham play against this teams called Tamworth at their ground on the tv. Thais was an FA cup game. Then after this I played a game of fibbage which is a jackbox game with my family. Anyways speak to you later, bye journal!

Oh yeah also forgot to mention I got my nose pierced a few days which is good! :)

[joshuasearing]

Wednesday 8th January 2024

Hi journal so after dentist I went home had some food then I had work. Work was ok yesterday, for the most part I was on till, but after being on till for a bit I did also do some stock on the fruit veg and also meats sections. After work I went home and quickly got changed. Once I got changed I drove to the gym at the gym I trained push, so did some chest, shoulders and triceps. Then after this I also did a quick 10 minutes on the treadmill. After this I drove to my work again before going home as we needed bread and milk for home so I went into my work and quickly got that. Then I made my way home.

Now for today, today I haven’t really done much apart from go to the gym and do a pull session and also go to the petrol station and got my car filled up. Also after my pull session I did a bit of treadmill work for 20 minutes then some quick skipping. I have also today played on my day pc a little bit, and now I am watching football with my dad. Anyways speak to you later, bye journal!

[joshuasearing]

Tuesday 7th January 2024

Hi journal so today I have laid in bed for the most part so far but I have just got up as I have got an dentist appointment at 11:50am. So I’ve just been on my phone for about an hour then I got up and ready for this appointment. I am now at the dentist. Anyways speak to you later, bye journal!

[joshuasearing]

Monday 6th January 2024

Hi journal so today I started my day of late as I was exhausted. However after a while I got up. Once I got up I made myself some scrambled eggs on toast, then I got ready for the gym. When getting in my car to go gym my car wouldn’t start so I was sat there for ages, trying again, again and again until it finally started when I turned the key for longer! Then I drove to the gym and when at the gym I trained legs and had a good session to be fair, then finished off with 30 minute incline walk on the treadmill. After this I left and went home. Since being home I haven’t really done much apart from my pc and watch a bit of social media on my phone.

Anyways speak to you later, bye journal!

[joshuasearing]

Sunday 5th January 2025

Hey journal so today work has actually been ok to be fair not to bad at all, for the most part I’ve just been filling up shelves with stock and facing up so making all the shelves and the place overall really nice and presentable. I have had the odd bit on till but nothing too much. I actually feel better now that I am on my shift compare to how felt on off my shift waiting for my shift to start. I have made the odd tiktok today, my views have gone back to really poor I feel it’s because I am making my videos in my room and weirdly they do much better when I record my videos in my car or out and about. One thing I have noticed is I don’t get enough water in my system at all I need to make sure I’m drinking more in hopes that helps with my skin as my skin has not been great recently. Anyways speak to you later, bye journal!

[joshuasearing]

Photo from yesterday in the snow! ⬇️

[joshuasearing]

Sunday 5th January 2025

So my sleep pattern has been so messed up the past couple days, so yesterday I got to bed at like 2:30am then last nightly to bed at like 5 or 6am this morning. I have work up today just feeling so down it is fucking horrible. I feel so depressed it is immeasurable how bad I feel. I felt like this last night as well that’s half the reason of why I couldn’t sleep. Anyways I got up around 12ish. Had some scrambled egg on toast, took my supplements. Then since then I have made a couple TikTok videos, wrote in my book journal, mediated and done a few press ups. I have also ready about 12 pages of the book that I am currently reading. But yeah I feel so shit within myself it is horrible I just want to go to sleep and escape because it doesn’t feel good at all. I just fucking hate it. I want to be better and doing better but I just don’t know how.

Anyways I am going to go speak to you later, bye journal!

[joshuasearing]

Sunday 5th January 2024

So past few days I have been really busy with working at Tescos now, training and also my nutrition and on top of that my content on TikTok. I have been getting loads of views on my TikTok’s recently the past week. I have had a couple videos that have got over 100k recently and few videos with a few thousand views. Also today I made some videos with my dad on our joint account. Also tonight where I live it has been snowing so now I am not going to be able to go gym tomorrow which is annoying but I will just have to leave it for tomorrow. Due the rest anyways to be fair. Also tonight I went to go gym then when I got there it was shut I fully forgot that they shut at 6pm on a weekend. So I had to drive all the way back home with two scoops of pre workout in my system I was in such a buzz. So when I got home I did a home workout for about 45 minutes, I did lads of press up variants on my press up board, then I also did some abdominal exercises as I never train my abs enough at all. I am still doing very well with my cut, currently sat at 77.9kg but we are getting there. Definitely need to carry on for about a couple months I think. Also my shifts at Tesco… I’ve done two now, they have been ok I’ve been doing till and also helping organise and stock up the shelves. The most difficult thing is remembering where all the different cigarettes brands are and what all the different names are. Also scratch cards and lottery tickets are difficult to deal with but I will hopefully get use to it. But yeah this year has been good so far I have been knuckling down and really focusing on my goals in life.

Also forgot to mention the other day I felt so bad as I got to the gym car park, I saw this car with it bumper hanging of and on their car they had a pass sticker meaning they most likely only just recently passed and their car was relatively new. They must of hit a pillar in the car park as the car park is tight to be fair but they were sat there for hours I felt so bad. I had my session which was 2 hours long they were there when I arrived and still there when I was leaving.

Anyways I also have played some Jackbox.tv games on the switch a couple times which is good with my family. Also I have been out in the snow I got my mum to record me as I made a snow angel in the snow for a video. Anyways speak to you later, bye journal!

Photos from the past few days! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

[joshuasearing]

[joshuasearing]

Wednesday 1st January 2025

Happy new year journal, can really hope this year is going to be better than lasts.

Anyways today was good, however the whether was otherwise it was pissing it down with rain all day and was freezing. Me and my dad went to a local football game, well a Maidstone as this is where I am from. Anyways we went with he’s mate and daughter like we usually do. Anyways before the game we went to a have lunch, for my lunch I had a 5oz gammon, egg, mash and peas it was really nice to be fair. Then after this we made are way to the ground. Today we played against Welling and the game ended up with us winning 1-0 which is another 3 points which is brilliant. The game was actually close and we were a little better of a side but we should have performed way better given we are 3rd in the league currently and they are near the bottom. Since the game I have been at home and since being home I have had a nap, played a couple games with my family downstairs and played some Fortnite, now I am in bed about to go to sleep.

Also I have posted a few tiktoks today, and this morning I did my reading, meditating and did 20 press ups for my exercise today as the gym was shut today so I was not able to go! Anyways speak to you later, bye journal!

Here are some photos from today! ⬇️

[joshuasearing]

Tuesday 31st December 2024

So yesterday was very unproductive but tomorrow I’m going to make sure is more productive. Started the day off getting up for around 11ish then rushing about so I could get to the gym for 12:30 to meet with Morgan. In the morning I had porridge with syrup however I cooked it on the stove rather than the microwave like I usually do which was strange but got the job done.

When at the gym, me and Morgan trained chest and triceps it was a good session then we ended off with 30 minutes on the treadmill. Morgan is training for kickboxing so he was doing more running however I was doing incline walking. We burned very similar calories to be fair. After the gym I drove home. Once I got home I made myself some scrambled egg on toast with ketchup. Then I relaxed and watched some YouTube for a couple hours. Then I finally got up for a bit, did some meditation, stated reading my new book “48 laws of power”. Then I went live on TikTok and also wrote in my book journal when I was live. Then I played on my pc for a couple hours which was good. Anyways speak to you later, bye journal!

[joshuasearing]

Sunday 29th December 2024

Hi journal past few days have been ok I guess but they could have been much better. I have been stuck in my mind far too much and it is starting to get me. My life is barely moving forward and I really want to be moving my life forward but it feels like such a push and such a force to just get my life moving in the right direction. I had ready like 4 self help books in about the past two months and I am really struggling to put it into practice and actually get shit moving forward. It is so easy to read the advice but yet so hard to actually start doing the things it is telling you to do. Also everyday I have been feeling so drained leading me to wake up far too late causing me to miss half my day. My sleep schedule and diet needs sorting out asap. I got to be real I just feel ultra low every day and it is starting to really get to me. Yesterday all I really did was go gym and go out with Hannah to a pub for a few hours. Then the days before that went gym and that’s about it. Life is very shit at the moment and I want that to change. Anyways I will speak to you more later bye journal!

P.s (failed 80kg bench press again unfortunately)

[joshuasearing]

Thursday 26th December 2024

Hi journal so today was so lazy apart from like the last two hours. I woke up at around 12ish and once up I watched some bee movie for abit, then after this I had some food. Then for a few hours I played on my pc, played majority Fortnite, but then did play like an hour of rocket league. Then once I did this I watched some YouTube for a couple hours and had dinner. Then for the last hour or 2 I’ve wrote in here, meditate, read a bit of my book I’m currently reading, done some press ups, washed my face, brushed my teeth, then made some tiktok videos and now I am on call with faith. Anyways speak to you later, bye journal!