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Illustrations from the "Compendium rarissimum totius Artis Magicae sistematisatae per celeberrimos Artis hujus Magistros"
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Artwork by A. Andrew Gonzalez
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Painting by Ronald Kurniawan
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. You move to a new place A place where old faces have grown older and faded away A place where your eyes, washed clean, can see Free of the villains and wounded you’ve left in your wake Yet you meet the eyes of potential friends And the word “stranger” reassembles itself as the warning you were given as a child Other’s niceties are candy Their friendly invitations a ruse to lure you into a trap You tell yourself reassuringly that the comforts of home mean more now at your age And you pull the covers higher in the security of the familiar Your television is just a window you gaze through At the vast and varied social circle you’ve gathered together Each group a separate life you lead Where grief and despair are philosophies Among the many lessons given strategically through the overarching plots A trip to the grocery feels sheer A white light emergency room for life’s necessities You gather the means for survival And tell yourself “Today I did something” And you quickly head home To make your date with… what’s her name? With the small tits and sexy feet That gives it out in public chat if you just wait long enough Your eyes hurt Is it from endless hours of staring into one radiant paradise after another? Or are you always just a second away from bursting into tears? And somewhere down deep in there Someone’s winding a spring Tighter and tighter until your chest shakes And your shoulder blades meet You toss and turn and plan and plan and plan As if the ideas of a life will release the tension of inertia And it does For an hour But what happens? Is infinite tension a psychological singularity? Will you disappear to everyone but still be there? An invisible Eternal Clenched fist Of ground teeth And suffocated screams With no hope of ever making good And returning those calls you’ve been avoiding
Ono Gides
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