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phffonenight · 11 years ago

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Chapter Eighty-Three Part-One

A/N: So, this is it. The big chapter. It's pretty long, so I've divided it into two parts. You can check out Lydia's wedding dress here. It's been so long since I've written Harry, Lydia and Lucy that it felt kinda strange, so I hope you enjoy the chapter. x

P.S. I've never gotten married so if the vows and stuff are wrong then blame the website, not me :)

Time flies when you're having fun. That's what I've always been told, that's the proverb that is everyone's excuse when they're not ready for something to end, but no one ever warned me how fast time would fly when I didn't want it to pass at all, and not because I was desperate for something to last forever but because there were so many things that I didn't want to begin.

The wedding was one of them. One of the things that I dreaded and that I prayed would stay months away but each day it grew closer and each day the list of things we needed to do grew. I wasn't scared of marrying Harry, because I'd been with him in a way for the last year or so that I'd never been with anyone, a way that I could only presume was similar to married life. I was scared of the responsibilities that would come with my royal status, I was scared of the attention that would be on me not only during the day but in the days following, the weeks, the years.

I had never felt so stressed before I began planning it. Of course, we had a wedding planner, who I trusted knew what he was talking about when he told us what we should arrange and decide and in what order we should do it. We also had William and Kate, who had had their wedding a few years before and they were willing to give us all the advice they could. We also had Charles, who was desperate for Harry not to makes the mistakes he'd made. We had my parents and family, who were all only too helpful when it came to ideas and opinions. We had Harry's grandmother, who thankfully forced any staff and royal advisors away. And we had each other, me a constantly organised mind who never let things pass and never left things to the last minute and Harry a never-ending reassurance, a laugh when I needed it and a hand to hold when I was feeling particularly nervous.

Our tour of the UK was the least of my worries, although it was a huge relief that we were eagerly received wherever we went. There was insatiable interest in Lucy, even though I refused to take her anywhere in public with us, and there was a never-ending interest in me, too. In my dress, in my bridesmaids, in who was helping me prepare. And I understood the hype; I'd felt the same excitement in the run-up to William and Kate's wedding in 2011. I'd been one of the camping outside hoping to catch a glimpse of the couple.

There was, of course, a lot of stuff that I decided to leave to Harry and his advisors, because they knew best. I let them choose the carriage we'd be riding back from Westminster Abbey in – Westminster Abbey, we'd chosen the venue – and I let them work out the schedule. I let them discuss titles – Duke of Ross now seemed off the agenda – and I let them decide how Lucy would be treated (she would be Lucy Diana Elizabeth Alexandra of whichever dukedom he received).

Lucy would be bridesmaid. We had decided that she was perfectly capable of following her mother down the aisle after she'd been so well behaved at Jake's wedding. She had toddled along the floor, clutching onto Zoe's nephew's hand, and all the guests had awed and cooed at her, many coming over for a cuddle after the ceremony. The uncertainty that surrounded making her a bridesmaid disappeared.

Lily and Phoebe were also going to be bridesmaids, and Caitlin – who I had made up with a forgiven not long after the scandal about Harry's family had come out – was going to be maid of honour. As other bridesmaids we had Louise, Savannah and Isla, and as pageboys we had George – who would be looked after with Lucy by Caitlin – Harry's godson: a little boy called Christopher, and, of course, James.

As the months passed the wedding drew closer, and every engagement that we did came with more and more excitement from the public. They actually all seemed rather eager for the wedding, to my suprise. Perhaps they were tired of seeing tragic stories in the news, perhaps they wanted to restore some faith in the monarchy after it had been rocked in September, or perhaps they all thought that Harry deserved some more happiness, after everything him and William had gone through and were now going through once more.

There was undying interest in every member of my family, there was endless speculation about the designer of my dress and there were uncountable rumours surrounding everything to do with the wedding, from the bridal party to the guests.

That undying interest resulted in hundreds of thousands of people camping outside Westminster Abbey, hoping to see the whole spectacle unfold the following day. We had just finished the final rehearsal, and now it was time for Harry and I to say goodbye to each other. We would be spending his last night at Clarence House with his father and brother, whereas I was staying at home at Kensington, where everyone would be joining me in the morning to get ready.

I got up from the pew where I had been sitting, listening to the Archbishop of Canterbury's explanation, and sat Lucy on my hip. Harry was stood, leaning against the pews on the other side of the aisle, his arms crossed. He smiled as I got to my feet; he knew that this was it.

“Well,” I said, not really knowing what to say. “I guess I'll see you tomorrow.” He grinned. “I guess you will. Unless you get cold feet.”

“Let's hope not,” I said, laughing lightly. It was, without a doubt, the most awkward atmosphere I had ever felt with him. “I...I don't know what to say.”

He chuckled, reaching forward and taking Lucy in his arms. “Bye bye, Lucy. I'll see you tomorrow.” He pressed a kiss to her temple, making her giggle and murmur 'Dada', and then he turned to me once more. “I love you.”

I smiled wide. “I love you too.”

“Don't be nervous.”

“I'll try not to be.”

“Get a good night's sleep.”

“You too,” I said. “Wear nice warm socks.”

He barked a laugh. “No chance of me getting cold feet.”

“You say that now.”

He chuckled once more, moving Lucy onto his hip before leaving forward. His lips met mine gently, the kiss appropriate for our religious surroundings, but it was brimming with love, and with a promise. A promise that this was it; this was us. And the next time we would kiss, we would be married. It made my stomach jolt.

“Lydia?” It was my mum, standing a few feet away, Lily beside her. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” I said. I took Lucy back into my arms and stepped away from Harry. “Say bye bye to Daddy. Wave bye bye.” I waved at him, and Lucy copied.

“Bye bye,” she said, in her lisp.

He chuckled, waving back. “Bye bye Lucy. See you tomorrow.”

I looked at him for one more second, feeling slightly sad, as though something were coming to an end. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said, smiling wide. “I'll meet you here tomorrow.”

“Eleven o'clock,” I agreed, nodding.

“Don't be late.”

“Oh, I won't,” I said. “They'd have my head on a plate if I were.”

He chuckled once more. “Go,” he said gently. “Everyone's outside, waiting to see you.”

I didn't want to leave; I didn't want to say 'I love you' for the last time, because then that would be it. I'd have said it. And it would be the last time. I was far too scared to let it be the last time. I was far too sentimental to be okay with it.

“Bye,” I said quietly, my eyes feasting on his, on his tiny smirk, on his swirling blue orbs. And then I turned away. I followed my family out the huge archway that was the entrance, I got into the waiting car and strapped Lucy into her car seat. I waved to the gathered crowds as we drove away from the abbey and I waved to the gathered crowds as we arrived at Kensington Palace. Seeing them there was unnerving, made the whole thing far more scary. But I had to get used to it, to the attention.

Two billion people would be watching me get married in the morning.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Light flooded the room and burned behind my eyelids as I rolled onto my front, groaning and burrowing down under my quilt, trying to escape the sun.

“Time to get up,” said the familiar voice of my mother.

I mumbled for her to leave, burying my face into my pillow. She merely laughed.

“Mama,” came another voice, one that was far less trained and had a lisp, but that caught my attention immediately. I automatically rolled over, seeing Lucy sat in Mum's arms; she saw me smile sleepily at her, and she giggled, her chubby arms already reaching out for me.

I moved to take her, but as I sat up, my eyes went to the calendar on the wall. More specifically, to the date that was encircled with a bright red pen, and to all the days leading up to that that were now crossed off.

My wedding day.

My insides erupted as I remembered, nervous and scared yet excited and eager butterflies taking flight in my stomach as I thought about what awaited me, as I thought about all the attention that would be on me, all the people watching. All the things that could go wrong.

I glanced to my right, an automatic reaction that had developed after the numerous times I had awoken to find myself anxious about an engagement or royal visit. I had always turned to Harry for him to reassure me, or for me to be reassured by him. But now he wasn't there; of course not, he had spent the night with his close family. I felt an odd desperation to have him with me.

“Mama!” Lucy's cry was different now, irritated, and a her eyebrows were furrowed in a scowl as she realised I was ignoring her. Her wail snapped me out of my thoughts, out of my spinning mind, and I turned to her. Her blue eyes creased as she beamed. “Hug! Ah goo!”

I laughed lightly, reaching my arms out for her and feeling an inexplicable calm wash over me as I held her against me. She was always a reassurance, even before the most daunting obstacles. Like today.

At that moment, I remembered that Mum was also in the room, watching Lucy and I with a small smile on her face.

“Everything's going to plan so far,” she said, once I'd turned to her. “Debbie called and is on schedule to be arriving at half past nine, and Lucas and Shannon are also on their way.”

“Okay,” I said, feeling completely out of my depth, even though I had helped to plan the whole timetable.

“Now all we need to do is get you washed and showered for when they arrive,” Mum added. “Lily and Phoebe are having breakfast, if you want to go join them?”

“I'm, uh, I'm not very hungry,” I said, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and sitting Lucy on my hip; she'd taken to curiously playing with my pyjama strap.

“I'm sure having a bit of toast won't affect your weight for today,” Mum said, as I followed her out of my room. I rolled my eyes.

“It's not because of that,” I said; my entire family had witnessed how obsessed I had become with my weight. I'd taken care not to push myself too far nor to lose too much, I merely focused on toning up the flab that I had. And, it seemed, that I had managed it. “I feel pretty sick.”

“Nerves,” she said, nodding sympathetically. “It's completely normal.”

“Is it?” I asked lamely. “Is it normal to dread marrying the man you love this much?”

Mum raised an eyebrow. “Are you dreading on marrying Harry now? I thought you were just nervous about the wedding.”

I sighed. “I am. I want to marry Harry. That's not the scary bit.”

“Good,” she said, smiling before turning concerned once more. “What are you nervous about, hm? The people?”

“The attention,” I said, as we entered the living room. Lily and Dad were curled on the sofa, munching on toast, while Phoebe sat on the floor, stroking Felix. The puppy leapt up, running over to greet me with a jump up and an attempt at licking my face, settling for Lucy's feet. She giggled, kicking them out and making him jump down once more.

“Try not to be nervous about that,” Mum said, gently stroking my hair before heading away. “I'll get you some toast.”

I sighed again. “Okay,” I said, knowing there was no point in arguing.

“Nervous?” Phoebe asked.

“Very,” I said, sitting down on the chair and placing Lucy on my lap, absentmindedly playing with her hands.

“That's perfectly normal, darling,” Dad said, smiling reassuringly at me.

“That's what everyone keeps telling me,” I answered.

“Ah gah gah gah boo,” Lucy suddenly said, straining against my hold to try and reach down for Felix's nose. I laughed lightly.

“Are you hungry Lucy?” I asked her.

“Bottul,” she said, her blue eyes wide as she paused from her escape to look up at me. Then, she returned to trying to free herself from me. She let out an irritated wail, and I chuckled, setting her on the floor. She toddled away immediately.

I was expecting a long, quiet, calm breakfast during which I would be able to chat to my family and hear how they were all as nervous as I was, but just as I was finishing my toast – despite my lack of appetite, I certainly didn't want to faint while walking down the aisle – Annalise, the housekeeper, called to inform us that Lucas and Shannon had just arrived downstairs, and I was ushered into the bathroom by Mum, who told me to hurry up and to not take long because otherwise we might get behind schedule and that she would wash Lucy in the nursery and blah blah blah. Her words merged into one as she closed the door behind me.

I took my time in the shower. I couldn't force myself to hurry, I had to concentrate on soothing all the muscles in my body. And it easy; it was soothing and peaceful as the warm water washed over me and my muscles unknotted.

I closed my eyes and just felt as the shampoo washed out of my hair and soared down my back. I was just another person now, just another person washing their hair and shaving and cleaning the dirt and sleep of their body. Just another person.

But, before long, I had to remember that I wasn't just a person. I had to remember that I was marrying the fourth-in-line to the throne in a ceremony that would be watched by two million people. I had to remember that I was going to be torn apart by fashion experts and amateurs all over the world. And I had to get ready.

Lucas was nervous. His usual bubbly and jolly personality was marred by his jumpiness and his stress. He was acting as he always did, although he spoke to fast, and his movement were to jerky. As I sat down in front of my dressing table, comfy and ready to be at their mercy for a couple of hours, Shannon glanced at him; he'd just left the room, talking to himself.

“He's nervous,” she said apologetically.

“I can see,” I said, laughing humorlessly.

“But he'll do a great job,” she said. “Don't worry about that.”

“No, I wasn't,” I said. “I just don't want him to have a heart attack or something.”

Shannon laughed. “Are you nervous?”

“I think that's an understatement.”

“I was the same on my wedding day.”

“How was it?”

“The best day of my life.”

My heart leapt at that, that not only was what I was feeling normal, but it was completely unnecessary. “I hope I'll be able to say the same.”

“Of course, my wedding was a teeny bit different to yours.” “I bet,” I said, laughing.

“But I'm sure you'll have a good day,” she added. “Nice and sunny, not much wind, lots of people out waiting to see you. It'll be great. Besides-” She grinned. “I know I'm going to enjoy it. I mean, I've never been to Buckingham Palace before.”

I laughed. “It is rather spectacular.”

“I'm hoping to catch a glimpse at some of the other famous guests who are going to the wedding lunch.”

“I'll try and get you David Cameron's autograph.”

“Forget Cameron. Try Beckham.”

We both laughed at that. “Yeah, I'm pretty excited about meeting David Beckham too,” I said, grinning. “I might leave Harry at the altar for him.”

“Aw, don't do that to Harry,” Shannon teased. “He'd be heartbroken.”

“So would I,” I said, closing my eyes for her. “It's strange but I...I really miss him right now. I normally have him here when I'm nervous. Like before an engagement or something. But I can't have him. I don't like it.”

“Don't worry, you have a whole week to catch up on this one night without each other,” Shannon said, laughing. “Where are you going?”

“I don't know. Harry arranged it all. I just know it's somewhere hot, and somewhere expensive, because I heard him and William talking about it.”

“Ooh, a surprise. Got all your lingerie?”

I laughed. “Yep. That was the weirdest day of shopping in my life.”

“Who's looking after Lucy?”

“Well, for the first two days she'll be down in Bournemouth with my family, and then she'll spend three days at William and Kate's, and then the last two days at Charles'.”

“It's the longest you've ever been away from her, isn't it?”

“Yeah,” I said sadly. The mere thought of leaving my daughter for so long was killing me, but I knew that we couldn't take her. Not only would it make the honeymoon all about her, but it was a honeymoon. No babies. “But Rose will be with her all the time as well, because she's very close to her. She likes her a lot.”

“I can't wait to see her in her bridesmaid dress.”

“She'll probably be sick down it or something,” I joked. “Oh God, I'm so nervous for her.”

“Oh don't be. Everyone will love her.”

“Yeah, I hope so.”

“They will,” Shannon said. “I mean, they adore George. They adore her. Especially how cute she'll be in her little dress and little shoes.”

It was probably the most in-depth conversation I had ever had with Shannon, mainly because Lucas wasn't their to hog my attention, but it was nice. She told me a lot about her wedding and the sort of flowers they'd had and the colours of the bridesmaid dresses until she had actually taken my mind completely off my own wedding. I was reminded when Lucas came in, followed by an official man.

“Ma'am,” the man in the suit said to me, before nodding at Shannon in greeting. “Here I have the tiara, of course.”

“Thank you,” I said. “Are you sure Charles didn't mind?”

“Mr Spencer was honoured to lend you the tiara,” he said. “He also sends his best regards and says that he cannot wait to see you walking down the aisle.”

I smiled. “That's very nice of him.”

The man left, leaving the large wooden box he had been carrying on the dress, and Lucas hopped anxiously from foot to foot, ringing his hands as he waited for Shannon to finish.

“Lucas, calm down,” she said, half-laughing.

“I want to open it,” he said. “I want to see it.”

“You can see it once you've done her hair,” she answered. Then she took a step back. “Take a look, see if there's anything else you want.”

I could never fault Shannon's work.

Then it was time for Lucas to work on me as Shannon headed out to help the bridal party with their makeup. It turned out that he had been curling and straightening and waving and braiding everyone's hair, and that three of my little bridesmaids – Savannah, Isla and Bella – had arrived.

Despite his nervous and jerky manor when he was flitting around the room and swapping tools, his hands were remarkably steady as they worked on my hair, and after a while my eyes had closed as I focused on the calming feeling of him playing with my head. He talked to me all the while, remembering his favourite aspects of William and Kate's wedding and the parts of today that he was most looking forward to. Before long, however, I was pulled from my daze by the sound of the door opening.

“You look amazing,” Kate said, stepping into the room. As my eyes fell on her, I was overcome with the sudden urge to cry.

She looked stunning, of course. Her beautiful hair in the most lavish half up-half down do, her eyes accentuated in the perfect way that she had long since mastered. She was tall and slim and eye-catching in a stylish pale pink coat dress, a wide-brimmed hat pulled down slightly over her eyes, a cut that I hadn't seen her favour before. She reeked elegance and beauty, and I couldn't help but feel amateur as I stared at her.

“You should take a look in the mirror,” I said, laughing nervously, and she giggled with me.

“Oh please,” she said. “Your mum was just showing me the designs of the dress again. You're going to look out of this world.” I half-smiled. “I hope so. So you're all ready?”

“Yep, yeah, spent the night all alone with Georgie,” she said, smiling. “I'm just dropping him off so that Caitlin can get all the children ready. I actually think he's really excited.”

“Is he in a good mood?”

“Yeah, he's smiling and giggling and everything,” Kate answered. “Lucy's being a darling, toddling around trying to hug people.”

I laughed, then sighed. “I think today is going to be challenging for us.”

“You mean because of the toddlers? I think so too. I can just see George starting to scream half way through the ceremony and I...” She shook her head and closed her eyes. “I'm praying that that doesn't happen.”

“I think we're all praying for so many different things.”

She laughed. “Yes, I do too. Have you heard from Harry?”

“Not yet. I doubt I'll hear anything from him until we meet at the altar,” I said.

“I popped by Clarence house just before coming here so that George could see his daddy,” she said. “I only saw William. He said that he had gotten Harry up and shoved him into the shower about an hour ago. Apparently he's nervous, too.”

“Well at least it's not just me.”

“Oh, it's not,” she said, smiling. “Actually, he asked me to give you something. Hold on, I'll go get them.”

“Them?” I quoted, frowning in confusion as I glanced up at Lucas, who wiggled his eyebrows.

“Here you go,” Kate said, returning with the prettiest bouquet of white roses in her hand. They weren't too big, or overwhelming, they were perfect and light and beautiful in their simplicity. I felt my jaw drop as I took them.

“Oh my god,” I breathed, completely unsure what to say as I looked at them, smelling them deeply. Their smell, although not strong, was reassuring. As though it were Harry's smell. And it reminded me, it promised me, that he had not changed his mind.

“He also told William to give this to you,” she said, holding out a small envelope. On the front, in Harry's gentle yet seemingly-rushed hand, it had my name.

I tore it open as softly as I could, barely able to comprehend why he had gone to so much trouble but loving him for it, loving him so much. It was a small piece of card inside, slightly patterned but otherwise plain, all but for another sentence in his handwriting. See you at the altar, love. x.

I laughed before I felt the tears prickle in the corner of my eyes, and Kate smiled before looking horrified. “No no!” she said. “Don't cry! You look so beautiful, don't ruin your makeup!”

“Kate.” It was my new private secretary, Debbie. “Rebecca is saying that you need to go back to Clarence House now so that you can get ready to leave for Westminster.”

“Okay,” she said, smiling. Then she turned to me. “Okay. You're beautiful. You look stunning. Just don't be nervous, smile, hold your head up, and you'll be amazing.”

I half-smiled gratefully at her. “Thank you, Kate.”

“Hey,” she said, smiling wider. “This time five hours from now you'll officially be my sister.”

I laughed. “Priorities, Kate.”

She, too, giggled. “Okay, okay. I'll let you get ready. Bye bye. See you at Westminster Abbey.” She winked, waving goodbye to Lucas, before slipping from the room, leaving me alone with my hairdresser as I waited for Shannon and Mum to come in and help me get into my dress.

Harry

I paused to look out the window. I could see the crowds from there, my old bedroom, right beside William's, in the apartment we had shared for far too long. They were laughing, dancing around and chanting songs that were to do with everything from football to Great Britain. Fake crowns, union jacks and red white and blue were as far as the eye could see, and, to my complete surprise, seeing the public lining the mall, all of them so excited and jolly and having the best day – it made me less nervous. The fear of being judged by all those people gave way. They weren't there to judge me, they were there to celebrate with me. And I knew that we were about to give them what they wanted.

“Are you ready?”

I turned at the sound of William's voice to see him standing in the doorway; he was wearing his Irish Guards uniform. We were, in fact, the spitting image of how we had been four years earlier, at his own wedding. With our spurs and his red tunic and my Blues and Royals uniform, our hats set on the side, waiting for us to get them before leaving. I nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Yes,” I said slowly.

“Kate text,” he said, waiting for me to join him before we began to make our way down the stairs – not an easy feat in our uniforms. “She said that Lydia loved the flowers and card.”

“How is she?” I asked instantly.

“Kate? She's fine.”

I rolled my eyes. “No, dumbass, Lydia.”

“Oh, Kate said that the roses calmed her down so I guess she's nervous.”

I nibbled on my lip as we came to the first landing. “I really wish she wasn't.”

“Don't worry, Harry, she's probably just nervous about all the people and everything,” William said, coming to a stop as we finally reached the bottom of the staircase. “Pa?”

Pa came out of the drawing room, in his own uniform with his two dozen medals that made us look pathetic in comparison. Camilla followed, but held back as ever, not wanting to intrude on this family moment.

“Goodness, look at you two,” Pa said, clasping his hands and shaking his head in disbelief. “It feels just like yesterday when I was changing your nappies, Harry.”

I chuckled despite myself, as William said, “It was. Don't you remember how drunk he was?” I rolled my eyes.

“No, Harry did very well,” Pa said, smiling warmly at me. “I must say that I was a little worried you might have a few celebratory drinks, but no. Well done.”

“Lydia would never have forgiven me if I'd turned up hungover.”

“No,” Pa agreed, chuckling. “Well, you two better be on your way.”

I took a deep breath as I nodded. “Yes,” I said breathlessly.

“Come here,” Pa said, taking me to the side and pulling me into a hug – rather awkward with all our sashes and medals and decorations. “I'm so proud of you, Harry.”

“Oh, Pa-” I tried to cut him off, but he tutted.

“No, let me say it,” he insisted. “I'm so proud of you. You always were such an amazing little boy and then you grew up to be the best young man. And yes, you've made your mistakes, but haven't we all?” We both chuckled. “Not one day has passed when I have never been proud to have you as my son, and today I am the proudest I have ever been.”

“Thanks, Pa,” I said, ducking my head and not really knowing what to say.

“And I know that your mother would feel the same,” he continued, and I clenched my jaw at the mention of her, not out of anger, but out of sorrow. Her absence had been hanging over me all morning. “She'd be so proud of you and everything you've achieved and done. And of Lucy.”

I nodded, mustering a smile. “Thank you.”

“But hey, let's not get sad now,” he said, squeezing my shoulder, and we shared a chuckle. “Okay, you and William better get on your way. How long have you got?”

“Er-” William checked his watch. “Three minutes.”

“Goodness, you better get in the car.” Pa was suddenly overcome with a panic, and he ushered us from the building, as Camilla called her farewell and wished us both good luck. “I'll see you both at Westminster Abbey,” Pa continued, as we made our way outside, where the Rolls Royce was waiting to take us. Jason was leaning against the bonnet; I'd requested for him to drive us there, not just some strange chauffeur.

William got into the car, but I stopped, turning back to Pa. “Wish me luck,” I said, smiling nervously. He returned it.

“Good luck,” he said, “Not that you need it, though.” He winked, before slipping into panic mode once more. “Okay, okay, get in, get in.”

There was a moment where we watched Pa wave to us from the entrance of Clarence House, and then we were driving down the mall, the deafening screams of thousands of people and the non-stop click of hundreds of cameras making me forget that I was on my way to the wedding, to my wedding.

I waved to people, we both did, to people who'd dressed up as Granny and to others who'd made signs, to people who were wearing masks of Lydia and I's faces and to others who were just plain tourists, excited to see history unfold before them and that had tied a Union Jack to themselves. William beside me chuckled as he read a few of the posters they were holding up, and then he nudged me.

“So,” he said. “Nervous?”

I grinned. “Understatement.”

“Nah, you'll be fine,” he said. “Really. As long as you get her name right, that is.” He grinned.

“I'm not that stupid,” I said. “No, I'm not nervous about marrying Lydia as such. I'm...anxious, I guess.”

The rest of the journey we passed in silence, the nerves in my stomach growing so I couldn't bring myself to speak, William evidently sensing that I wasn't in the mood for talking, but the crowds made up for the quiet in the car. They screamed and cheered, getting louder and louder as we approached the Abby. We pulled up outside, a footman opening my door for me, and I glanced at William before hopping out.

The cheers were deafening, ringing in my ears even at a distance, and I turned to wave at the public that had gathered there, waiting to see us. William chuckled beside me, before we were led inside.

Westminster Abby looked completely different from the rehearsal the day before. Now, it was full of guests, each of them sporting an eye-catching hat or a colourful tie. I smiled at a few, most of them known, others recognisable from charities. As we walked down the aisle, heading towards a private room where we would await Lydia's arrival, I looked around at all the invitees. David and Victoria Beckham, Elton John, a number of my mother's friends, a dozen European royals, the WWTW team and the people from WellChild...The faces were endless.

“Here you are, your royal highnesses,” the bishop said, smiling at the two of us as he left us with a footman, a foot away from the chapel. “I shall see you within the next half an hour.”

I smiled, although his words made my stomach flutter in nerves. “Thank you.”

William stepped inside and I followed, taking my hat off and taking a deep breath. This was a roller coaster of emotions. I sighed, already tired out.

“I wonder how Lydia's getting on,” my brother mused.

Lydia

“Lydia, how are you doing?”

Debbie peered her head into the room to check on us, her face breaking into a smile as she saw me, saw my dress and my hair and the Spencer Tiara. “Oh wow,” she said. “You look amazing.”

I smiled, not blushing, because I could see I did. Shannon and Lucas had worked their miracles once more, and this time the beautiful dress and the stunning tiara all came together. I felt beautiful, and that wasn't something I was used to feeling.

“Thank you,” I said. “The tiara's a bit heavy though.”

She laughed. “I bet. We, uh, we have ten minutes until the bridesmaids and pageboys leave, so do you want to come and say goodbye to them all? If you're done, of course.”

“Yeah, I'm done, aren't I?” I looked at Bonnie, the independent and upcoming British designer that I had asked to make my wedding dress for me, who nodded. She was a nice girl, young and ambitious and with heaps of talent.

“You need to be leaving in a minute, too, Bonnie,” Debbie said.

“Okay,” Bonnie said. “I'll uh, just go call my Mum, check up on her.”

“Don't tell her,” I said before I could stop myself. Bonnie laughed.

“Don't worry, I won't.” Then she disappeared.

“No sleeves?” Debbie asked, eyeing my dress.

I shrugged. “Screw protocol.”

“Oh, you're starting off well,” she said sarcastically, and we both laughed. “Lucy's been asking for you for the last hour, you know.”

“Aww, where is she? Is she in her bridesmaid dress?”

“Oh yes, they all are. She looks like a little angel.”

I laughed. “A rascal dressed up as an angel.”

I followed her down the corridor, Lucas and Shannon helping me with my dress, until we reached the living room. I could hear that there were a lot of people on the other side of the door from the babble of voices, but I was still surprised when I stepped inside.

Mum was there, of course. Ready and stunning in her pale orange dress and matching hat. And Dad, in his three piece suit. There was Caitlin and Phoebe, in their matching bridesmaid dress, and then there was Savannah, Isla, Louise and Lily in their matching bridesmaid dresses, which were similar to the others, but a little more childish. James and Christopher were sat side by side on the sofa, swinging their legs in their miniature three-piece suits too. I hadn't wanted the mock-uniforms like Kate had.

George was sat in my mother's arms, seemingly content there, and he giggled down at Felix, who was chewing on his rope. I scanned the room, my face falling.

“Where's Lucy?” I asked.

“Oh darling, you look wonderful!”

“Wow, Lydia!”

“Woah, Lydia!”

“Hey Lydia!”

“Lydia, you look like a pwincess!”

And then, “Mama!”

Nanny Rose came into the room, little Lucy toddling beside her, and as she saw me she let out a squeal and began to run my way, her chubby arms flailing. She, like all the other bridesmaids, looked adorably sweet in their dresses, but I couldn't prefer any of them to my daughter. Lucy looked beautiful while she looked adorable; I wanted to scoop her into my arms, but Shannon kept her away.

“She might ruin your dress,” she reminded me. I nodded.

“Hello, baby,” I said, pouting as Dad lifted Lucy up, holding her in front of me so that I could give her a kiss, and then he pulled her away.

“You look beautiful, darling,” he said to me, pride shining in his eyes. I smiled.

“Thank you, Dad,” I said.

“Okay, okay, time for the bridesmaids and pageboys,” Debbie said, looking around at them. “Okay, everyone, all of you little ones, come with me okay. Caitlin? Can you help me get them all?”

Caitlin got to her feet and came over to me. “Here we go,” she said, making an excited face. “Exciting, huh?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Just don't go stealing the spotlight away from me with your ass.”

She laughed. “How could I ever do that?”

I held out my arms and carefully we hugged each other. “I'm so glad you're my maid of honour, Caitlin,” I said to her.

“I'm so honoured that you chose me, Lydia,” she said. “And, you know, I'm sorry for what I said-”

“Oh god, Caitlin, that was months ago,” I said, laughing. “Don't worry.”

“I love Lucy-”

“I know you do.”

“And I love you.”

“I know you do.”

“And I love Harry.”

“I know you do-You better mean in a friendly way, missy.”

We both giggled. “Okay, okay, I have to go,” she said. “You look beautiful, you look stunning, you look like a princess. I'll see you at the Abbey.”

I smiled at her. “See you at the abbey.”

I was carefully hugged by Savannah, Isla and Louise, getting extra strong ones from Lily and James, who was jumping up and down in excitement. I blew a raspberry on George's cheek, gave Lucy one last kiss, gave Phoebe a good-luck wink, and then they were all gone, Caitlin leading them. I felt a flutter of fear go through my heart. This was it. A few minutes and then it would be me.

I stood in the centre of the room, practising my composure and keeping my head up straight as one after another everyone left, leaving me with my parents. Mum came towards me; she was the last person to leave, Debbie had already taken off for the abbey.

“Okay, you,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Here we are.”

I nodded, mustering a smile. “I'm sorry.”

“For what?” she asked.

“For putting you both through this.” I spoke to her and Dad now, who was sat on the sofa.

“Oh, don't be silly,” he scoffed.

“No, really,” I said. “All this stress and nerves and-”

“Pride?” Mum said. “We're so proud of you, Lydia. We really are.”

I smiled, tears prickling in my eyes. “I don't know why-”

“Why? Because you've achieved so much. Look at you, you have such a happy, loving family. You have the most beautiful daughter-”

“So basically,” I said. “You're proud of me for accidentally getting pregnant.”

Dad barked a laugh as Mum half-smiled.

“We're proud of everything you've ever done,” she said, stroking my cheek with the back of my hand. “No matter what.”

Dad nodded, coming to stand by Mum and putting an arm around her shoulder. “This is going to be one hell of a day,” he said, and all three of us laughed.

“It is,” I said, attempting to nod but feeling as though the tiara might fall off, so abandoning it altogether.

“Mrs Hayes?” Debbie peered into the room. “It's time for you to go now.”

Mum smiled and thanked her, before taking a deep breath. “Okay, here we go. I'll see you in fifteen minutes, honey.”

I was suddenly overcome with a need for her, with the desperation for her to never let me go. “Mum-!” I cried, gripping onto her. She turned back to me, surprise in her eyes.

“Are you okay, darling?”

“I-” I closed my eyes and swallowed, regaining control of myself. “Yes, I'm fine.”

She gently squeezed my chin, giving me a reassuring smile, before making her way towards the door. “I'll see you two at the abbey.”

The door shut behind her, and my father and I were engulfed in silence.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“Deep breaths,” Dad said, as I sat back into the car, keeping my back straight and head up, scared for the tiara. “Lydia, deep breaths.”

“I...I think I'm okay,” I said breathlessly, as I was passed my bouquet. “Thank you. No I, I'm okay.”

“Not nervous?”

“Oh, I'm nervous but I'm...excited.” An eager smile flitted across my face. “I can't wait to see him.”

Dad smiled and took my hand, giving it a squeeze. “You look like a princess.”

I laughed nervously. “That's good. I am marrying a prince and all.”

“Ma'am? Are you ready?” It was Marcus, the driver.

“Yes,” I said. “And I'm not ma'am yet.”

He chuckled. “My apologies. Okay, here we go.”

Neither my father nor I spoke as we drove through the Kensington Palace gates, due to the fact that we were both rendered speechless. There were hundreds upon hundreds of people waiting outside, screaming, shouting and amusingly decorated in Union Jacks and Royal Standards. There were so many of them, spanning not only down the road but across Kensington Gardens, all of them cheering at the sight of the car. This was the view that they had all been waiting for, the sight of the bride, and I felt my stomach clench in nervous fear as we drove past them, raising a hand to wave, returning their excited smiles. Every second was a second nearer to Harry.

The entire route was lined with members of the public, from people who had evidently camped overnight to others who had just turned up in their best royal costume and were singing jolly songs with strangers they'd never met. But everyone stopped as the cheering of the crowd grew closer, and then they would join in, screaming and waving as I passed.

It was completely unnerving to have so many people wanting to see me, to be so pleased to see me, that I could do nothing more than smile and wave. It was so touching, to see their faces light up and them cheer and wave back.

The journey felt longer than it was, but it also passed in an instant, because before I knew it, we had slowed to a stop outside Westminster Abbey, a grand, beautiful building that had housed every royal event from Philip and Elizabeth's to William and Kate's. I stared up at it for a moment, the thought that Harry was inside, waiting for me, making me desperate to get out of the car.

Caitlin appeared as my door opened, a wide smile on her face, and I met her eyes, seeing the nerves yet excitement glistening in them, before handing her my bouquet. Then I pulled myself from the car, and stepped onto the red carpet.

The roar was deafening. It washed out all the other noise and consumed all my senses as the public, the world, got a look at my wedding dress, at me. I could feel people picking me to pieces, I could feel people judging my choice and judging me but I didn't care. Because everyone who had camped there, and who had waited there, to see me, was cheering. And that knowledge made me want to cry in relief.

I turned back and waved to them, smiling widely, desperately wanting to tell them how grateful I was, mouthing a 'hello' to them all, as I waited for Dad to come round.

“Okay?” he asked, and I smiled, nodding.

“Amazing,” I breathed, as I wrapped my hand around his arm.

My veil blew against my face as we walked into the abbey, ever step careful and placed as I dreaded falling over. I clung onto Dad as he led me inside, the doors closed behind us.

I could barely listen to what the Bishop was saying to me as Bonnie and Debbie sorted out my dress. I stood there, listening to the sound of my heart thumping in my chest. Eventually, Dad gave my hand a squeeze.

“You okay?” he whispered to me.

I nodded and mustered a smile. “Yes,” I breathed. “Where is he?”

Dad chuckled. “He's there, don't worry. Waiting for you.”

My heart fluttered in excitement, and I fought the urge to try and sneak a peek. There were so many guests, all of them looking at me, admiring my dress, admiring the beautiful cluster of jewels on my head that glistened in the light. My blonde hair fell in perfect curls down my back, my eyes softly outlined by Shannon's expert hand. I felt, for the first time in my life, like I deserved their attention. I smiled even though I didn't know so many of them.

“Mama!”

I'd been so caught up in the excitement and rush of the wedding that I'd forgotten all about the children behind me, the bridesmaids and pageboys. At Lucy's cry, I spun round – earning a tut and groan from Bonnie.

Lucy was stood a foot from the end of my train, a miniature bouquet hanging from her wrist as she clung onto Caitlin's hand. I burst into an adoring smile, laughing lightly and waving at her, and she waved flimsily back, giggling.

“Are you ready?” Dad asked me. I nodded.

“Let's go,” I said, my heart skipping a beat as I realised that this was it. This was the moment that I would remember for my whole life. And, as the music started up and the choir began to sing and all the guests rose around me, I couldn't fight a smile.

We walked down the red carpet at a slow, steady, careful pace, my hand clutched in my father's as both of us concentrated so hard on not messing up, on not tripping and not falling. Behind me, Caitlin led George and Lucy, Phoebe led Isla and Savannah, and then came James and Christopher, followed by Louise and Lily. They all walked along with dainty steps and tiny hands that clutched at their small bouquets, the younger ones looking daunted by the sheer amount of people, the older ones smiling around. And Lucy; Lucy giggled as she toddled along, often forcing Caitlin to pull her back on course whenever something 'interesting' caught her eye.

We moved under the arch that had memorials to heroes such as Isaac Newton, the arch where the choir stood, and finally all I could see were familiar faces. My family, Harry's family, friends and distant relatives, even heads of state. But I didn't notice any of that.

Harry was stood at the end of the aisle.

As soon as my eyes fell on him, my heart yearned for him. Yearned to be near and hold his hand and receive his reassurance and hear and see his reaction upon seeing my dress. I was desperate to know what he thought; I was desperate to be with him again.

He was tall and smart with his back to me, wearing his Blues and Royals uniform. I knew he wouldn't look at me, he'd been advised not to, and I couldn't wait for the moment when his eyes went to me.

I smiled at Mum, and Charles, and Elizabeth, and Kate, all of whom looked so pleased to see me. I expected a little wave or reassuring smile from Kate, but, after admiring my dress, she was too worried about George; I saw her giving him a big smile and a wave out of the corner of my eye.

The bridesmaids and pageboys took their seats just as we were reaching the stairs, and William turned to look at me, a wide smile on his face. 'Hey, gorgeous' he mouthed, winking, and I grinned despite myself. He, too, seemed to have the natural gift of being able to put people at ease.

First one step, then the other, and Harry was turning to look at her. She saw his eyes widen, saw them go to hers, then over her dress, then to the tiara in her hair, and he smiled.

“You look heavenly,” he said breathlessly, reaching for her other hand and pressing it to his lips. “So beautiful.”

I smiled, my insides floating at his words, before turning to my father. Within moments, my veil was off my face, and Harry was able to gaze into my eyes with no barriers. He gave my hand a squeeze and grinned, as the Archbishop cleared his throat.

I could barely concentrate on the words he was saying, the speeches and reading that he was obligated to give, the hymns he said. I barely understood the words I was singing as the choir burst into song. I barely related to anything except the man beside me.

Then, finally, came the vows.

“Henry Charles Albert David,” said the Archbishop. “Will you take Lydia Mary Hayes to be your lawfully wedded wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her and be faithful to her for as long as you both shall live?”

Harry's voice was loud and clear and proud as he answered. “I will.”

“Lydia Mary,” he said, turning to me. “Will you take Henry Charles Albert David to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him and be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?”

I couldn't stop the smile that tugged up the corners of my mouth as I spoke with all the force I could muster. “I will.”

Harry broke into a broad grin.

Then came prayers, and a reading from Skippy, while Harry and I shared smiles all the while. And then the Archbishop cleared his throat one more.

“Henry and Lydia, I now join you to-”

“Dada!”

He was drowned out by Lucy's sudden cry, and a low chuckle echoed around the church as both Harry and I turned to see our daughter being held into her seat by Caitlin. I laughed lightly, hearing Harry chuckle beside me.

“Henry and Lydia, I now join you to take hands and make your vows, in the presence of the father, and the son, and the holy ghost.”

Harry gripped by hand tightly in his own, a broad smile gracing his face, before he cleared his throat and spoke in a clear voice that rang out throughout the abbey as he repeated the archbishop's words.

“I, Henry Charles Albert David.”

“Take thee, Lydia Mary, to be my lawfully wedded wife.”

“To have and to hold.”

“From this day forward.”

“For better, for worse.”

“For richer, for poorer.”

“In sickness and in health.”

“To love and to cherish.”

“As long as we both shall live.”

“And I hearby present thee my trove.”

I blinked a tear from the corner of my eye, my heart feeling like it would burst from my chest, as I smiled at him. He gave my hand a squeeze. I gasped for a breath before it was my turn.

“I, Lydia Mary.”

“Take thee, Henry Charles Albert David, to be my lawfully wedded husband.” We shared a grin at that moment as I silently celebrated saying all four of his names in the right order; we'd practiced that.

“To have and to hold.”

“From this day forward.”

“For better, for worse.”

“For richer, for poorer.”

“In sickness and in health.”

“To love and to cherish.”

“As long as we both shall live.”

“And I hearby present thee with my trove.”

I reached up to wipe a tear from my eye, smiling at him as he, too, had shining eyes. I wanted to kiss him, or tell him how much I love him, but I knew my words were doing that even without saying those three little words.

We exchanged rings, Harry gently slipping the band onto my left ring finger with a loving smile on his face, before I had the tiniest of trouble getting his on. Once it was finally over his knuckle, we shared a grin; both our hearts had stopped at that moment.

“In the presence of the father, and the son, and the holy ghost, and before this congregation, Henry Charles Albert David have given their consent and made their marriage vows to one another. They have declared their marriage by the joining of hands and by the giving and receiving of rings. I therefore proclaim them husband and wife.”

I turned to Harry, my mouth splitting into an ecstatic smile, my eyes tearing slightly, as he broke into an enormous beam.

We'd done it. We were married. We were officially husband and wife.

Lucy chose that exact moment to let out an attention-seeking wail, and, again, the congregation chuckled as one.

“She doesn't approve,” Harry whispered to me, grinning.

“I love you,” I breathed, jumping at the chance to say it while everyone was distracted.

“I love you too,” he said, not bothering to keep his voice down, wanting everyone to hear him. “Wifey,” he added in a whisper.

I laughed lightly before the Archbishop announced that we would now pray.

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