shenefelts

[shenefelts]

Moralia by Plutarch But As North Korean Propaganda (The Best Of The West) Page Preview

Find (Spartans) & Replace (Koreans)

Sometimes I worry about the Koreans, not a lot but sometimes.

How is Kim going to get through this? No not some South Korean broad, Jong Un.

They’re tearing that good man’s country apart.

[shenefelts]

Myths of the Cherokee by James Mooney But Cut The Crap (The Best Of The West) Page Preview

#1: That the Cherokee is a Jeep, it’s tribe you dummy.

[shenefelts]

American Leaders and Heroes by Gordy; Paul Revere’s Ride But Cut The Crap (The Best Of The West) Page Preview

Paul Revere couldn’t have been that useless to the American cause.

Guy had taken an active part in the Boston Tea Party, at least give him a bone.

I won’t call all skepticism of these events a communist agenda but I could and reserve that right, as an American.

[shenefelts]

The Problem of Evil by Epicurus Really Makes You Think; I Should Have Become a Teenage Girl (Done To Death) Page Preview

Find (why) & Replace (don’t)

Find (?) & Replace (.)

God builds one man with the same formula he uses to break ten. No one has the nerve to tell him that he got lucky, he’s God.

I just got off the phone with God, guy’s pissed.

God gives you challenges. When you fail your pride kicks in and carries you out the burning building while trying to tell you about Hanukkah, ‘I still don’t know what you’re talking about dude.’

I heard Heaven got that skee-ball that you don’t even have to pay to play, I’m just hoping that it ain’t only for dead children.

God and I are so close that he lets me call him Yahweh.

[shenefelts]

Candide by Voltaire But Cut The Crap (Not To Be Philosophical) Page Preview

Letter to François-Louis-Henri Leriche from Voltaire But Cut The Crap (Not To Be Philosophical) Page Preview

The Reasonable Wife by Voltaire But Cut The Crap (Not To Be Philosophical) Page Preview

Letter to Étienne Noël Damilaville from Voltaire But Cut The Crap (Not To Be Philosophical) Page Preview

Voltaire who I heard got political, that’s a shame, had jokes.

[shenefelts]

Our American Cousin by Tom Taylor AKA The Play That Played When Lincoln Was Shot But Cut The Crap (The Scary Papers) Page Preview

The last words Mr. Lincoln didn’t say but heard.

Well as long as his wife didn’t complain about being cold or something that is.

“For God’s sake Mrs. Lincoln, he has a bullet in his head.”

[shenefelts]

Common Sense by Thomas Paine But In Pain (To The People) Page Preview

Find (above) & Replace (from D.C)

Oh boy, how long I have been waiting to take this one on the offensive.

I’m talking 5, 10, 15 years like I don’t even remember if anyone has ever said this to me directly.

‘No shit Sherlock.’

[shenefelts]

The Clansman by Thomas Dixon Jr. AKA The Inspiration For The Birth of a Nation (Dead Man) Page Preview

I ain’t a racist, I have a black friend who doesn’t complain about slavery which ended 160+ years ago or exactly 160 years ago actually.

He came a long way from the Atlantic Slave Trade, he goes on cruises all the time now.

All he has to do is serve drinks, he works on it.

[shenefelts]

The Prince(s) by Niccolò Machiavelli (Not To Be Philosophical) Page Preview

Find (prince) & Replace (princes)

Find (his) & Replace (her)

Find (men) & Replace (women)

Find (he) & Replace (she)

Find (him) & Replace (her)

Show me your five closest friends and I’ll show you screw that.

Show me your girl’s last five partner’s voting registration cards and I’ll you something neat.

2 Republicans, 2 Democrats and 1 Libertarian. Get read to vote Green Party buddy.

All of a sudden the Green Party’s message is on the TV. All of the sudden the Green New Deal makes sense, what a mess.

[shenefelts]

The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx Fact Checked (The Scary Papers) Page Preview

I know a guy, weird guy, who insist his wife isn’t a communist spy. Did I mention he’s a weird guy?

[shenefelts]

Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death by Patrick Henry But In The Third Person POV (To The People) Page Preview

Find (me) & Replace (him)

I just don’t want involved, no not this time.

[shenefelts]

Alexander Hamilton’s Last Words But Quit With The Sneak Dissing (To The People) Page Preview

Find (they) & Replace (Aaron Burr)

I mean Alexander Hamilton was a little feminine but I’m sure he didn’t sing songs.

[shenefelts]

Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler But Hitler Had A Dog Too You Know (The Scary Papers) Page Preview

Intelligence is the ability to look at things from multiple perspectives, not just how you think and how you think I should think.

Don’t get me wrong Hitler was a bad man but he was also a dumbass.

PS: Hitler’s dog was appropriately named “Blondi” and was a GERMAN Shepherd, the guy believed in something!

[shenefelts]

Poetics by Aristotle But Dyslexic or Arabic; It’s Up To You (False Prophets) Page Preview

Find (Comedy has had no history, because it was not at first treated seriously.) & Replace (👆)

It’s wrong to medicate the Middle Eastern foreign exchange student.

Especially while trying to convert him to Christianity.

He just wants a good education man.

[shenefelts]

De Bello Gallico by Julius Caesar But Screw Cleopatra (Dead Man) Page Preview

Caesar no seizing.

Especially not her, she is black.

I mean Egyptian, I mean has a bad personality.

[shenefelts]

Experiments With Alternate Currents by Nikola Tesla But Screw Thomas Edison (Dead Man) Page Preview

How the Hell is Thomas Edison still alive? He is 178 years old, oh wait that’s Elon Musk using my boy Nikola Tesla now.

I bet Tommy was “honoring” Nikola too.

Elon isn’t that stupid, he would called his company “Edison” if that wasn’t already antisemitic enough.

Musk prints money whereas Tesla wanted electricity to be free for all so correct me if I’m wrong but adjusting for inflation, nothing back in the day is still nothing today right?

The U.S. Government is stupid for printing money anywhere besides Elon Musk’s house, “Hey the money is going to get there anyway.”

[shenefelts]

Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin But Cut The Crap (To The People) Page Preview

And we’re talking about real experiments too, not sexual you degenerate.

Playing kites in lighting storms, stuff like that.

The Toddler Paperboy:

“Guy never complains about how he can’t afford to feed his family, you don’t see that anymore.”