#//not sure why they felt the need to make it a problem

[tadctheories]

Analyzing Jax's Spiral

1.) The prequel

Before Jax even started his self-destructive behavior, he was really off.

He summoned Caine to piss of Zooble and forgot the reason he did it to begin with.

He totally zoned out when Caine gave directions.

And when accused of some grand plan with Pomni...

...he had no idea what she was talking about.

I believe all of these above are examples of Jax's mask slipping. Jax let his guard down, and now we're starting to see that he's just some dopey guy that's barely reached adulthood.

Jax wants to look like a profound mastermind but he simply is not.

2.) He becomes self-aware

When Ragatha accuses him of getting close to Pomni to corrupt her, he loses it. Ragatha probably meant "I know that you're trying to get Pomni to partake in your antisocial and abusive bullying behavior," but Jax heard it as "You're choosing to get close to someone again to drag them to abstraction." This is where he becomes extra aware of his relationship with Pomni.

3.) He tries to play it cool but realizes he's getting Pomni hurt.

Jax really does try to keep opening up to Pomni. He revealed that his fear of corn is rooted in trypophobia, and when Pomni points out that she's getting to know him, he probably thinks back to what Ragatha said. I'm guessing his thoughts are along the lines of "Ragatha said I'm getting closer to Pomni to make her abstract like my past friends."

I'm going to come back to why it had to be Ragatha specifically to start his spiral.

With that on his mind, we get the shootout with Kinger in the dark room.

Although it was accidental, he hurt Pomni, and he apologized right away. He certainly felt bad.

They're both almost back to normal during the scene when they pursue Zooble to their room. After their duet, Jax gets the idea to break into Zooble's room with one of his many keys.

That caused Zooble to absolutely demolish them both and caused them to lose a life.

Zooble ran away and Pomni immediately went to pursue them.

Jax got afraid of Pomni taking on Zooble alone but he stayed behind to contemplate in the hallway.

He's super distressed over seeing Kaufmo's and Ribbit's doors. He just watched Pomni get hurt in this very hallway mere moments ago, so he connects it to the friends he failed to save. Jax made the connection that HE is the problem. His companionship is what causes people to get hurt, to abstract.

I believe this is the moment where Jax realizes he NEEDS to distance himself from Pomni.

And, in my opinion, that's why Jax reacted so strangely to Pomni's hug. He likes her and he enjoyed the hug but he's in too deep. He has to physically and metaphorically push her away.

I'm not entirely sure about his reaction here, but he keeps staring at the hand that pushed Pomni while Pomni has already moved on. He's touched her before, so what is it? Grief? Guilt? Regret? Love? You could make an argument for all of the above.

Either way, the last thing on Jax's mind is to hurt Pomni physically. He's wayyy too traumatized for that. Instead, he's hoping that Pomni will make it easy for him distance himself by shooting him. Physically, Jax would go to another room. Emotionally, Jax would have an excuse to push Pomni away. Instead, Pomni sussed him out and called him out on it.

Jax tried everything to get her to shoot him. He heckled her, claimed they weren't a team, and was an all around jerk to her uncharacteristically after what she thought was a wonderful day together. Again, he references Ragatha. I promise I'll get back to her.

Pomni picks up on exactly what Jax is doing. He wants to end their friendship. But why? That's why she tries to reason with him. She finally hit a nerve when she brought up abstraction.

He thinks she's blaming him for the abstraction of Ribbit, the friend that Pomni didn't even know. Once she sees his mask drop, she hones in on the abstraction conversation.

Jax claims that he'd move on and forget about her. For a moment, I actually think she believed him and considered turning the gun on herself before Jax backtracked and claimed it was a joke.

Pomni, being the incredibly emotionally mature and intelligent person she is, cracked the code. She knows that Jax is so afraid of her abstracting and that's why he won't hurt her physically. THAT is why Pomni fought him. She wanted to confirm her theory.

Jax pretty much admitted it himself. He tries HARD to mask again by going full villain and claiming that he's a some sort of sociopath that derives pleasure from the pain of others.

This is where I finally talk about Ragatha. Jax acts extremely mean to Ragatha. He's disproportionately cruel to her even though she's so kind. I think what Jax is doing here is exactly what he did to Ragatha, and she didn't pick up on the core of his insecurities like Pomni. Ragatha would never get physical like that. Ragatha DOES believe his villain persona is real.

To me, Ragatha admitting that she failed Jax is implying something deeper: she didn't always hate him; she once loved him. She probably still does in a way. And Jax? Ragatha knew Ribbit and Kaufmo. He's probably terrified of losing someone like Ragatha, so he pushed her away before she could abstract. To him, it's probably working since she's still around.

Back to Pomni- Jax finally fully cracks and shows that part of himself to Pomni.

Pomni did what nobody else would do and saw what nobody else could see. For whatever reason, Jax doesn't swear, but he did in front of Pomni. I think he was finally too tired to hide his real feelings, and honestly, I don't think he wanted to since he was aching over the very real pain he caused Pomni. Not to mention, he knew that Pomni saw through his behavior.

Jax's plea at the end was that of desperation. He knew he lost the battle but there's nothing more to say. He's begging Pomni to just pretend that his mask is the real and to not pursue him; to give up just like everyone else had.

But Pomni won't just give up on anyone like that. She watches him through the award show. She knows he's unwell because he's avoiding her and left mid show. Even better, she now has Ragatha by her side through it all.

Now Ragatha is also armed with the knowledge that Jax is a broken guy who uses his toxic behavior to "save" people from him. Trust me, this isn't the end of Jax. I think we're finally going to see Jax and Ragatha come together to fix their issues, and for Jax and Pomni to build a bond stronger than any other in the circus.

[eulogiez]

ೃ༄ LOVING IS EASY — clark kent

clark is so easy to love, and he’d like to say he tries to make you think the same of yourself. maybe his efforts have been futile, because you don’t feel any less motivated to break things off one random saturday; but he’s not willing to let you go that easily. 2.9k

tags: hurt/comfort (reader experiences a small injury), sort of anxious/depressed reader (slight anxiety attack?), hints of a sucky family/upbringing, reader is kind of mean to clark at the breakup but it’s just b/c she’s insecure, i promise she loves him too, reader thinks clark baby’s too good for her

˚୨୧⋆｡ navi masterlist latest work

You’d been sitting on the idea of breaking up with Clark for months now. Actually, it had been weighing on you for months now. It felt more like an obligation.

There was no reason not to be totally enamored by Clark. He was quick-witted, unfathomably sweet, and the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. He wasn’t selfish and motivated by his own needs and desires, much like other men you’d had prior unpleasant experiences with.

That seemed to be exactly the problem. He was too good to be true and you wanted to break free of whatever spell he had you under before it was too late. You knew you had to be the one to call it quits before Clark got irrevocably attached, too.

You felt you couldn’t allow yourself to get used to it. The just-because flowers, the unprecedented notes he left on your sun visor mirror, the dates whose planning he left entirely up to himself so that you needn’t so much as lift a finger or worry your pretty little head about a singular decision after a back-breaking day’s of work. He was just so uncannily thoughtful. Almost un-humanly.

So you finally mustered up the courage, some weeks before your four-month anniversary. Sucking in a breath of air sharply, you shoot him a text one night when you felt the thought had been pressing on you too heavily.

you: Hey, Clark. Can we talk, tomorrow at mine?

clarkattack 🦈: Sure thing, honey. I’ll bring some goodies! :)

You felt an overwhelm of guilt all of a sudden. Clark was so unsuspecting, so sweetly oblivious. No doubt he thought you were just wanting to have a calm date night in. You slumped in the plush of your bed, suddenly worried if this was the right thing to do.

To say the least, the romance that blossomed between you was completely unforseen. At least to you.

It came quietly, then loudly, all of a sudden. It was buying you coffee. Then dinner. Nights out. Then nights in, cuddled up in the crook of his neck, cozied up in the warm, incandescent comfort of your quaint apartment. Like it was built for just two. Built for you. It happened faster than you could process, and in those four months, that blurred haste of time, you could never seem to process why he chose you.

Plain, average, ordinary you. He was Clark. Selfless Clark who towered over you, a pure gentle giant. Clark who knew you like a unit of his broad body, Clark who was something of a fairy tale prince. If anything, you thought he’d be a better match for his equivalently attractive, snarky-but sweet counterpart Lois Lane. You pushed back the notion of their chemistry one too many times.

You let yourself fall asleep with that all-but-pleasant idea the last thing on your mind. It would all be over tomorrow anyways.

⊹₊⟡⋆

You were unsure how to go about it. Before you knew it, before you could mentally prepare yourself for what felt like a disaster to come, a blaring ring sounded at your front door.

“Hey, Clark,” you’re opening the door with quivering hands, still feeling uneasy about it all. To make matters worse, he’s greeting you with the sweetest smile, a dimpled one on that gorgeous canvas of a face that has no sneaking suspicions of what’s to come.

“Hey honey, I brought your favorites,” he’s holding up a paper grocery bag and with the widest grin.

“Clark, you really didn’t have to do that,” you mutter embarrassingly.

“It’s really no trouble at all. You know I’d do it whether you asked or not.”

You can only nod along, any semblance of words failing you. And when you’ve made your way to the couch, he’s already made it has mission to make the couch as comfortable a place to nestle into as possible, setting up the blankets just the way you like before fluffing and perching the pillows up—he seems to have already forgotten why you invited him over in the first place. You’re clearing your throat when he flips on the TV, surfing through for something to watch already.

“So what’d you want to talk about, honey?” He says absentmindedly, scrolling through various films and TV series.

“Oh, right, um. About the TV, Clark, I really don’t think it’s a good idea that we—,”

“Oh look, honey! They’ve got The Princess Bride! Our favorite! Let me go grab the popcorn,” he exclaims, and with that, he’s making a dash for the grocery bag like a mad man. You sigh to yourself. Maybe it can wait.

⊹₊⟡⋆

You’re halfway into the movie and sitting an unusual distance from Clark. Every sideways glance makes you feel sorry for both him and yourself. A few times you ponder to yourself why you’re even doing this, why you seem to have to pull the plug on any good thing that comes to you.

But a deeper sense within you seems to know it’s too much for you, too good of a thing. That you’re sure to corrupt Clark’s goodness at some point. That at any point he could unknowingly switch up on you and shut all the goodness off.

He scoots closer to you, giving you a small peck on the forehead, then a peck on the cheek. You scoot further away and clear your throat. “I like this part,” you murmur with your eyes trained on the flatscreen. “This will all soon be but a happy memory,” Westley says after he extinguishes the fire at the hem of Buttercup’s gown.

Clark would never push you, and he has a perfected mastery at reading your body language. He stares and you for a moment after bearing in mind the way you pull away where you otherwise would have deepened into—sunk into—his kisses and gentle advances.

“You alright, honey?” He asks like he doesn’t have half a mind to know you’re not. He just wants to hear it from you. You hum a simple yes.

“I’m going to go finish up on those dishes I was washing before you came,” you inform him flatly.

You’re looking down into the empty chasm of the sink, hands on either side of it. Wondering about your verbiage when you actually go through with the freaking arrangement that you invited him over for. You’ve been through breakups before. You hated how all of them sounded when it ended.

Were you just going to be another cliché? You thought of a string of everything you could possibly say and which sad excuse you’d go through with. This just isn’t working out. We’re too different. We don’t click. I feel like we can’t communicate thoroughly. I just can’t. It’s not you, it’s me. Most of them being total lies with the exception of the last one.

“I’m coming with, I can make more popcorn,” Clark hollers from the other room. He makes a brisk entrance with your half-empty popcorn bowl that only he touched. You make quick work of a random dish you swiped from the drying rack to look busy, turning on the sink to look as if you’re rinsing it. He notices your anguish and the pained look on your face when you suddenly start scrubbing at it with a sudsy sponge.

“Honey, are you sure you’re okay? You’re scrubbing at that plate like you’ve got a vendetta against its family. Did the bowls wrong you or something?” He chuckles to himself at his own joke.

“Fine, Clark,” you say shortly.

“You haven’t touched the snacks I bought you,” he points out. The look on his face is scrawled with concern.

“Not hungry.”

“You sure?”

“Really sure.”

“I’ll make us something later after the movie, how ‘bout that?”

“That’s alright. I had a big lunch so I’ll just go to bed after.”

“Already? ‘S only six right now, should be a little after seven when we’re done.”

“Just tired.”

“Honey,” he hesitates for a moment, breath hitched and careful about what his next words will be, whether he’ll strike a nerve or if he had already. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“I said I’m fine, Clark,” you hissed coldly, taking him aback. He doesn’t flinch at your sudden harshness. He just stands there, the same expression of concern sturdy on his face.

“You know what I invited you over for? I want to break up,” you said simply, avoiding the look of hurt his cerulean eyes are suddenly overcome with.

“What, but why—,”

“It’s just…it’s not working out.” You’re unsure what more to say. You didn’t realize you’d get this far.

“Can we talk about this?” His voice cracks a little and you have to fight a little harder not to look at him. “What exactly isn’t working out? I’m sorry if I did something—,”

“I just can’t.” Now you’re trying to fight tears welling up in your eyes.

He says something more and you turn on the garbage disposal, digging for a fork you lost in the commotion. Against all better judgment telling you not to, you look at him, hand inching towards the depths of the sink, disposal forgotten when you suddenly graze the back of your hand by the blades of it. You shriek and curse at yourself, hand newly blooming with crimson on the back of it.

“Oh my gosh, sweetheart, let me help you,” Clark’s more worried about the blood than you, it seems, his own hands making haste to coming up to your quivering one only a second after.

“Just go, Clark,” you exclaim tersely at him.

“Hey,” he says softly in spite of the threatening cut of your own severe voice. “Please just let me help you so we don’t have to go the Emergency Room. Then I’ll go, okay? As you wish.” He thinks you won’t notice his Princess Bride reference at the end. But you do. And for some reason that’s what it takes to bring you to tears, the aching gash at the back of your hand be damned. They’re hot tears that caress you when they slowly stream down your face. Tears that are hard to fight with only a singular hand.

“Hey, hey,” he coos at you and drags you to the living room without waiting your approval, a clean rag in hand. He’s wiping away at your tears when you sit there lamely. “I know it hurts, I’ll make it better, I promise.” He rushes to the kitchen quickly, in a moment’s notice returning with your first aid kit under the sink.

You want to tell him it’s not really the cut that hurts. You’re practically numb already, which is also of concern to you. But it’s the stupid breakup that hurts more right now and the way he seems to care so deeply for you even in your malice, that his gentle advances are utterly unfaltering.

In another scenario like this one you’d praise him for knowing where everything in your apartment is so well. Like he had the blueprint of everything memorized in that super-mind of his, pocketing a detailed visual in there. But this is an odd-case scenario where you’re being treated by the aid of your now ex-boyfriend for an almost certain E.R-worthy injury after screaming at him to leave.

You’re watching him in silence, with the steadiest hands taking your gaping one into his without so much as a wince. You wish you weren’t so painfully human in times like these, that you could heal by the sun alone and wake up fresh in the morning the way he did. He is my sun, you thought to yourself sometimes. He grabs the hydrogen peroxide hastily, pouring a cap full of it.

“Grab onto my arm when I pour this onto you. Squeeze it as tight as you want. It’ll make it hurt less,” he reassures. You give him a nod before he pours onto it, and you’re grimacing through the motions while holding onto his strong bicep for dear life.

“Attagirl, attagirl. That’s good,” he whispers while petting your hair before pulling away quickly so as to not worsen your earlier frustrations. He mutters a short sorry. “I would blow on it but I don’t wanna spread any germs.”

He grabs the Neosporin after dabbing at the excess peroxide your hand with a clean cloth. “Look, Clark, about earlier…”

“We don’t have to talk about it right now, you’re hurt.”

“I need to.”

He gives you a meaningful look, nodding before squeezing at the ointment tube carefully.

“I just, I feel like you’re too good for me.” Before you can help it, the tears are making their way back to your eyes. You curse yourself and rub at your eyes with the back of your freehand. And Clark, in all his softness, is reaching up to wipe at them again with a large thumb, collecting them on the bed of his nail. You don’t stop him.

“I’m difficult, you know? It took me well over near two months for you to get anything out of me about my family, why I am the why I am. I feel like you give me everything sometimes. The whole world. And I can hardly give anything in return,” you know he wants to interrupt you because his mouth is slack. “God, Kent. Can you let me finish?” you laugh without looking at him, instead down at your severed hand.

“I’m just a lot. I feel like I’m either too much or not enough. You’re so much prettier than me,” you cradle his soft face in your hand and he smiles a sad smile. You know it’s hurting him to not be able to immediately shut down your crazy talk. You’re practically forcing him through your whole ordeal. “You’re funny, you’re dorky in the cutest way. You’re so smart and you have the biggest heart. I just feel like, how can I compare to you sometimes, you know? I feel like I’m holding you back from your fullest potential. I want you to be with someone as good as you and better than me. I’m messy, broken. I’m dark,” you finish, sobbing when you do. It’s getting harder to breathe and he’s taking you in the vastness of his arms. Cooing and shushing you, rocking you back and forth.

“Hey, hey.” He says sternly, loud over your scattered breaths and hiccuped sobs for you to hear. He kisses at the back of your freshly bandaged hand. “Breathe with me, breathe with me, please, honey.” You’re letting out a few more sobs before you’re nodding off at him, and he’s counting your deep inhales and exhales. Doing it with you. 1-2-3-4. 1-2-3-4. In, out. In. Out. You finally settle down, still hiccuping slightly and breathing shakily.

“You,” he says, giving a slow, deep kiss at your forehead, then again at your hands, “are not difficult in the slightest. Like most humans you have a fair sense of cynicism. It means more to me that you let me in no matter how long it took because the point is that you did. You let me be a part of your world. And I couldn’t be more grateful. Because I like it here. A lot,” you both laugh. “And I know I told you I would leave, but I don’t want to walk out of here not being a part of your world.”

“And I’m glad I know why you are the way you are now. You are not your experiences, though. And not all of them shaped you entirely. You didn’t let them. You came to shape your own beautiful little experiences and leave behind the pains of your past.” You liked the way that sounded. Beautiful little experiences. Clark was surely one of them.

“You are not messy, or broken, or dark,” he says firmly, as if to make sure it gets to your head. “You are my fullest potential. You’ve taught me what true goodness really means. And you’re perfect. You are smart. You are kind. You are the most beautiful person I know. In every way. You’re beauty personified,” This almost makes you want to break all over again. Clark just seems to have such a way with words.

“You are my sun.” He kisses your hand once, twice, three times. Then each of your fingers. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. You kiss the top of his hair while he’s still leaned down. “Can you let me be yours?”

You look at him for a moment. “I’m sorry if I ever am too much, okay? Can you just let me know if I ever am?”

“Not too much, so it’s never going to happen,” he says simply, now nuzzling your hand into his face.

You think about everything he’s said. He repeats it. Can you let me be your sun?

As you wish, you say. You win, farm boy. You lean in to kiss him. For once you feel satisfied. For once you don’t feel heavy with the weight of everything. More than sorely aware of the space you take. Right now you feel it’s just enough.

a/n: omg i hate doing these little pic layout things bc i feel like they never look good when i do them but the middle pic of david didn’t look right on its own…anyways please don’t let this i actually kind of liked it

⋆.˚ © eulogiez all rights reserved.

— comments and feedback are appreciated!

[remotely-radical]

Very true. I'm glad I've learnt to be alone, I love my solitude. I don't need to find the next thing to make me feel good. I need to make myself feel good.

Sometimes it's hard, and I have moments of wanting to seek it else where. But reality I know this is what is best for me. I'm happy I've come this far and don't need to do that anymore.

I do think it's why I get so hurt when I was with someone, had genuine feelings. Then they leave and go off to sleep around and seek attention from everyone. I get really sad and hurt because I don't function that way. When someone means alot, I can't just be with another. I can't just so easily throw away what we had. Because that's how it feels. Even if it's not the truth.

It hurts, because it makes me feel i was so meaningless, because why is it so quick to move on from me. Was i that bad? Was i that terrible of a girlfriend or whatever that they were dying for the next thing? Because i notice a pattern, that so many of my past peoples just sleep around 2 seconds after me. Am I problem? Or is this just how they are and they'd do it to anyone? I know one ex just can't be single, like ever, theres never even been a month where she isn't with someone else. I feel sad for her. She's gone through so many people and relationships, and never has been able to sit by herself and self reflect. Or do any kind of healing.

I think also why i feel i mean nothing, is because ive gotten out of a relationship and then organically met someone else and was with them very shortly after. But the previous relationship before that person, my heart wasn't in it, it wasn't love. I didn't have deep sadness it was over because we just weren't right for each other.

But then I've had a relationship where it was really meaningful, loving and all of that. Took me a whole year before someone else, I had apps i think, but I had no interest in others or felt the need, just mindless swiping and being bored. I was happy alone, happy myself. The girl I met was also organic, no apps or anything, just met and I thought okay I'll give this a go. So even then I wasn't actively seeking.

Which again, is why i feel hurt when people move on 5 minutes after me. Because my own fundementals and how i am when something meant something. So it's hard to fathom and understand what I meant to them. Because they have the words, the love, the saying how much I meant. So yeah, it's hard to compute, but I also know that is my own issue and insecurity. To not feel or be able to accept love from someone. Even if it was genuine. Maybe one day I'll look back and see the love, or maybe I'll find out otherwise. I'm not sure, but I can't focus on that, I have so much ahead of me and I can't dwell, its been a week of dwelling and it consuming me.

I understand people move on and handle things differently, but it's hard not to spiral. But in the positive sense, it used to affect me so much more and longer and every day was bad and consumed me. s

So I am glad I can pull myself out more efficiently now. But doesn't mean I don't feel these things though. I've had my week of depression and low self esteem. I've made my mistake and how I handle it and projected my insecurities on her.

I do think she is maybe using that to cope. Its easy to be away from me if all she is saying, thinking and expressing that im a peice of shit and now her life is perfect without me because she is so happy now I was making her life horrible. Forgetting everything else we had. Because I get it, I really understand that mentality. It does make it easier to focus on those things. It's easier to hate me than love me. I can hold that space and understand her actions come from that. Anger is a powerful emotion, it takes over so quickly and easily. It's easier to use that anger and hate. To be consumed by it. I've been guilty of it also. We all have.

So now instead of thinking about why, why people do this, why wasn't i good enough, why are they so much better than me, comparing myself feeling to every girl she is with, feeling it's not even a competition because I'd lose every time. Even if that's true. I couldn't compete with these girls, since they have the one thing I don't and probably more. I can't focus on that, I know I have my flaws, my issues, my traits. I know it's a constant battle to work on them. But I do know I have good ones too. I want to focus more on that, that I wasn't asking for too much, I was just asking the wrong person, and so was she.

“Healing is difficult because it requires solitude and some haven’t conquered the battle of being comfortable alone.”

— Meggan Roxanne

[bouqskl]

you are the best thing that´s ever been mine (part three)

synopsis: twisted wonderland boys and the moments they realized you are the best things that ever been theirs

pairings: deuce spade, jack howl, vil schoenheit, lilia vanrouge x gn!reader

warnings: angst if you squint (?) probably a lil ooc on some characters, (i think just that)

part one: riddle rosehearts, ace trappola, ruggie bucchi , azul ashengrotto, jade leech, kalim al asim, epel felmier, idia shroud, malleus draconia, silver vanrouge

part two:  trey clover, cater diamond, leona kingscholar, floyd leech, jamil viper, rook hunt, sebek zigvolt

DEUCE SPADE

it was when you trusted him when he said he would change

you knew about his past and about how much he desired to change

sometimes himself wasn't sure he really wanted to change, not because he wanted to be like he was before, but because he felt he wasn't trying hard enough

his past came back everytime there was a problem

he tried to solve it with violence, like he used to do

but at that times, you were there

a reminder of why he wanted to change

he wanted to be better for you and for his mother

your presence was enough to make him want to do the right thing

and even if he didn't, he knew you would stay there, with him

because you trusted him

JACK HOWL

it was when he realized he could rely on you

he prided himself on being someone who could handle things on his own

even when things got out of his hands, he tried his best to solve it without asking for others help

but then you noticed when he needed help

at first he thought you couldn't do anything to help him

but when you actually did, he realized that maybe he could rely on you when things got too difficult for him to handle them himself

he seeked your help when he needed too, always keeping his distant personality, but you knew he appreciated when you were there for him

and he knew no matter what, you would help him and won't judge him for anything

VIL SCHOENHEIT

it was when he didn't had to be perfect around you

he knew about what people expected from him

to be a model student, a perfect example of what to do

even when he didn't knew if he could handle things on his own, he had to, after all he was housewarden of pomefiore, he had to be the example

he always tried his best, and he always wanted others to see that

but he knew that he could drop his facade around you

that he didn't had to be perfect

that he didn't always know what to do

and if he needed someone to rely on, he knew you would listen to him and never judged him once

LILIA VANROUGE

it was when he didn't had to be the playful all the time around you

he liked teasing others, surprsing and even scaring them at times

but that made people think he was always playing, never actually serious

and he wanted to be taken seriously

then he realized you could differentiate when he was being serious and when he was being playful

he wanted to be taken serious when needed, and if he wasn't being taken as what he wanted to, he knew you would

you saw past his humorous and easygoing personality, and you took him for what he was

including his not so easyhoing atittude sometimes

and he appreciated that ability of yours

[realcube]

NEED YOU 2

desc ;; kuroo creates an nsfw twt account for the sole purpose of collaborating with his fav camgirl

info ;; this is part two of a joint fic with @kkurooswifee. click here for pt 1 and here for the twitter links.

tw + tags ;; nsfw minors dni. smut, vaginal, anal plugs, degradation, praise, impact play, fingering, filming, exhibitionism & size kink (wc: 7.2k)

Since launching his X-rated twitter account, things had been going surprisingly well for Kuroo.

Of course, he only started with the intention of gaining your attention, but he could get used to the other perks associated with owning an explicit twitter account. Such as the constant praise and flirtatious DMs from hundreds of people, gushing to him about how muscular and sexy he is. Sometimes it felt rude or objectifying, but often it simply fuelled his ego. These compliments would come alongside donations too; hefty sums of money sent straight to his PayPal. If he had known amateur male solo-play was such a lucrative market, he would’ve got into it a lot sooner. 

Naturally, he garnered a relatively large fanbase in a short space of time, so he was worried that — despite being a faceless creator — he might be doxxed or his true identity may somehow be revealed. But thankfully that had yet to happen. Everything so far has been working out in his favour.

Yet, he was growing impatient.

He wasn't doing this for the money. He already had a full-time job, so the extra cash — although pleasant — was not enough to justify the risk of ruining his image. Similarly, the flattery and pseudo-fame was nice, but not enough to keep him from deactivating his account. 

A month had passed since its creation, and he’d been posting consistently to no avail. It’s almost infuriating; you’re the whole reason he was doing this, so why weren’t you acknowledging him? He thought of reaching out to you first, but although he has a decent audience, it’s still nothing compared to yours, so there’s no way you’d notice him in your sea of unread DMs.

No,  for this to work, you’d definitely have to make the first move. But why wouldn’t you? He’s done everything he can to get your attention. There had even been a couple instances of individuals in his replies, posting comments to the effect of: 

@ xxwh0re commented: Haf and y/n collab when????

@ HAFsociety replied: This would heal me @ y/n_username

@ dreamsskutya replied: please… let this happen…

The creator (@HAFvideos) liked this thread.

Oh, yeah. He named himself HAFvideos, and the HAF originally stood for ‘hot as fuck’, but his followers had been referring to him as though his name is ‘Haf’ and he couldn’t be bothered to correct them. Especially as he had no intention of telling them his real name.

Anyway, all his viewers could blatantly see that the two of you would have great chemistry, and he had clearly stated in his bio that he is open to collabs. So what’s your problem? It occurs to Kuroo that perhaps you’d just not seen his content yet, but it’s been almost a week of people tagging you in his replies, so surely you must’ve seen at least one of his videos by now. 

The disheartening conclusion would be that you’ve watched his content but you’re just not attracted to him, and you have no interest in meeting up with him. But thinking about that as a possibility just rips Kuroo apart, causing a deep dull ache in his chest. After all, he’d done this for you. The whole reason he’d been rubbing one out on camera almost every night for the last month was because of the mere prospect of getting to interact as equals with you. 

For fucks’ sake, he wore a cock ring because the degenerates in his comments kept asking him to, and he thought it will help him gain more traction. And more traction means a higher likelihood of you seeing him on your feed. So, the idea that all that effort might’ve been in vain destroys him.

But little did he know, you’d noticed him. Plenty. 

𓆩༒︎𓆪 

You sighed out your nose, slumped back in your desk chair and spinning idly as you scrolled through twitter. You had a livestream scheduled for later that night but you honestly could not  be bothered. Making yourself squirt every Thursday was becoming somewhat mundane, but you have bills to pay and manga to buy, so you persevere. 

As you were scrolling through your feed, you’re somewhat disassociating, lost in your own world as your thumb moved on its own. That is, until a particular video autoplayed and snapped you right back into reality, knocking the wind out of your lungs in the process.

It was a video of a man sat on the edge of his bed, wearing trousers but no shirt. Yet he’s got an expensive-looking watch on. The frame cut off above his collarbone and below his knees, so it’s largely just torso. Still, it was the single most captivating torso you’ve ever seen; he’s muscular, but not completely jacked. He had the faint outline of abs, with broad shoulders. And his arms are what really do it for you. Rotund biceps that are humble enough not to intimidate, but large enough for you to imagine yourself in his chokehold. The feeling of his muscles squishing your cheeks, fuck.

You’re not usually one to fall for male thirst-traps. You usually deem them sluts and move on. But something about this man truly called to you. Maybe it was the seductive way his legs were manspreading at the edge of the bed, and his large, clothed thigh was just begging to be ridden. Or maybe it was the casual way he laid back on one arm and used the other to invitingly pat his knee. God, he knows what he’s doing. Finally, maybe the part that intrigued you about this man was the gigantic bulge in his trousers that was calling your name. 

You’re not given much time to process what’s going on before he unzips his fly and pulls it out and shit, how’s it even bigger than you originally thought? His monstrous cock was now fully on display for the camera — for you — and you’re basically salivating over your screen. The length, the girth, the veins, the curve that was so perfect, it looks like he was built for your pussy. If he was in you, that leaky tip would bruise your cervix and those few prominent veins would brush your g-spot just right. 

Before you knew it, he'd already begun stroking it. Running his strong hand up and down his shaft. Maybe it was pathetic but you were momentarily lusting over his hand too; it was just so big, with neat nails and long fingers. You fantasise about the way they’d feel inside your snug cunt and how skilled he’d surely be. You can tell from the way he’s rubbing his own cock so slowly that he’d be sweet and gentle with you too. Treat you like a princess.

Soon, his hand was fully wrapped around his length and what was once moderate strokes quickly devolved into vigorous pumping. The video was muted but you would give anything to hear the deep groans he must’ve been letting out with each furious rub. You saw in the corner of the frame, the hand he was leaning on started to clench, balling the white sheets into his fist as his knuckles were painted white. 

Precum was smeared across his length, and kept drooling from his tip as he jerked himself off at a lethal rate. From your time in private shows with fans, you’d become an expert at detecting the signs of an imminent climax in men, and he was right there. Seconds from toppling over the edge. You bit your lip with anticipation, waiting eagerly for your screen to be filled with white and for him to make a mess all over his pristine trousers…

But the video ended abruptly.

Literally what the fuck? Why would he post something like that only to leave everyone in suspense? Such an evil, devious man. Your thighs were wet with arousal but there’s no satisfaction to show for it. Fuck, now you’re so antsy that you need to visit his page and finish what you started. Maybe on his profile you’d be able to find something even better.

Unbeknownst to you, after you clicked on his profile photo, it was all over for you. 

It didn’t take long before you were certifiably whipped for this faceless content creator. The mystery lured you in like a siren-call and his gorgeous biceps kept you there. Before every one of your livestreams, to get into the mood you would watch one of his videos or browse his photo collection and edge yourself to oblivion. God, you felt like such a loser for being so attracted to him, but you can’t bring yourself to be ashamed for too long — especially since this is the most alive you’ve been in ages. 

He became an integral part of your routine, but that wasn’t enough. It was parasitic and started to seep into other parts of your day too. Next thing you knew, you were watching him beat his meat while eating your dinner, as if it were some sort of innocuous YouTube video. Bringing the noodles to your mouth, you scroll through his comments and read them out of the corner of your eye. 

@ DaisyIvyDelight commented: Omg, pls hit me up for a collab 🫣

@ HAFsociety replied: I second this !! ^

@ Roll4coatser: are you currently accepting gf applications???

@ kiko445: なぜみんな英語を話しているのか

Why is everyone and their mum suddenly thirsting over your internet husband (who doesn’t know he’s your husband)? Surely, they can find another male content creator to fawn over. At first, you don’t let it bother you too much and you’re about to scroll away, until you notice that the comment of the girl proposing a collab has been liked by the creator. 

Your heart dropped when you saw that. No way is he actually considering bringing other women into his videos. So far, he’s only been making solo content, and everyone prefers that way. Or at least, you prefer it that way. You check her profile, and it only contributes to your stress, because she seems like a popular OnlyFans creator too, which means that the comment might not have been a joke. And him liking it might’ve been the start of a DM exchange which will eventually lead to…

No. Absolutely not. You need to take matters into your own hands and resolve this issue urgently. Usually you wouldn’t be so forward, but you’re under immense pressure and perhaps that causes you to behave in a way you wouldn’t normally. 

You click on the paper plane icon next to his display name, and type out your message from your main account: 

“Hey. Sorry, this is a bit random, but I make similar content to you and I was just wondering if you want to collab sometime? To help us grow our followings, and that kinda stuff. Have a nice day. :)” 

𓆩༒︎𓆪 

A short string of Twitter DMs eventually led to you standing outside the door to his apartment.

He’d already buzzed you in, so you were almost certain that you were in the right place. Still, a shroud of anxiety stirs through your insides. Clutching the fabric of your shirt, you cautiously knock on his door. So gently that you start to worry even more. What if he didn’t hear that? Should you knock again? If he heard you the first time and you keep knocking, he’ll probably think you’re desperate and pushy. God, you’re already ruining your chances of making a good first im—

“Hello?” The door swings open, to reveal a tall man standing on the other side. When his eyes land on you, his lips immediately pull into a mischievous smirk, “It’s you.” 

He was automatically able to recognise you from the abundant amount of time he’d spent watching your videos, meanwhile it took you a couple of seconds to fully process that the man standing before you was the infamous Haf. Your eyes dragged across his body, scrutinising every little detail and soaking up his impressive silhouette. His figure definitely was convincing you that he was the real deal: he had those massive biceps you were promised by his account, and they were virtually protruding from the thin white shirt he had on. He also wore a black tie with matching slacks and shoes; it occurred to you that his outfit was almost identical to the one he had on during the first video of his you ever watched — the one where he was jerking himself off on his bed, but it cuts off before he finishes. Same chunky watch and all. Except, of course, he was shirtless then, but right now he was unfortunately wearing one. Although, the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows in a way that was equally intriguing.

You’d never seen his face before, but you weren’t disappointed. He’s got a defined jaw and sleepy hazel eyes that seem to bore into you. It’s unclear whether that is a part of his facial structure, or if he was genuinely just tired. Regardless, it’s quite hot. In fact, everything about him was pretty hot. You trembled under his gaze, cheeks heating up from excitement. 

“Uh, hey.” You eventually splutter, unable to maintain eye-contact, “You’re.. Haf?”

Kuroo chortled heartily, falling onto his doorframe for support, and you flinched slightly at his sudden maniacal laughter. “Sorry, I forgot to tell you my real name.” He huffed, clutching his side as he tried to catch his breath, “I’m Kuroo. But I am the owner of H-A-F videos, so you’re in the right place.”

You pressed your lips together, noting that he says each letter individually. It was somewhat embarrassing that you’ve been following him for so long but you’ve been saying his name wrong the whole time. 

Wanting to fill the silence, Kuroo confirmed, “And you’re (y/n)?”

You nodded, and Kuroo looked down at you while leaning against his doorframe, with his buff arms crossed. A smirk played on his lips as he admired you; he thought he was doing a good job of acting natural around you, but really, he’s lucky that you haven’t built up the courage to look at him for long periods of time. Otherwise, you would’ve noticed the spark in his eyes and how much he was smiling like an idiot. Seriously, he hadn’t smiled this much in months. There’s really not much to be happy about when you’re working a trite, tiresome job.

He stepped back from the doorway and gestured for you to enter. “Come in. Make yourself at home.” You paused for a moment before you accepted, and hesitantly pad into his apartment. Your eyes hurriedly survey your surroundings, and you quickly realise that you’re living some sort of porno fantasy because this place is nice. You kinda anticipated it would be cushy considering it was in a decent area, but his room in particular was lavish. It was extremely modern and sleek, with jet black kitchen countertops to contrast his pristine white cabinets. Plus, all the equipment in his kitchen — like his microwave and oven — seemed so new and expensive. Like they actually might function properly. 

This leads you through his kitchen and past his stylish living room too; there’s a door at the other side of his apartment, which leads you to his bedroom. As soon as you enter, you’re overcome by an immense sense of deja vu — you’ve been here before. There’s his crisp white sheets and that grey headboard you always see in the background of his videos. To your left, the entire wall was made of glass, to serve as some sort of unnecessarily large window. Although, it did showcase a breath-taking view of the city beneath. 

There weren't very many other distinct features of his room. A black glossy dresser opposite his bed, under the TV, and he had a matching wardrobe stood against the other wall. There’s also a door next to it, which you assumed led to an ensuite bathroom. Plus, a singular nightstand next to his bed

He had a tripod and a couple of lights set up at the foot of his bed. You’re admiring the view, when the curtains slowly began to draw closed on their own, accompanied by a harsh whirring noise. You turned to Kuroo and saw that he was holding a small remote, and aimed it at the curtains. “For our privacy.” He murmured. 

Once they’ve shut, Kuroo puts the remote down and strides in front of you, plopping himself down at the edge of his bed, using his arms to support his torso in the same way you’ve witnessed so many times. Hence, it’s almost Pavlovian the way your pussy starts to ache. It’s the spitting image of the videos you have seared into your brain, until he pats the sheets for you to come sit with him. “Here, sit.”

You stared at him for a second, entirely lost in thought. He chuckled, “I don’t bite.”

Gulping, you couldn’t help but hold your breath as you shuffle towards him, his seductive eyes fixed on your every movement as you tentatively sit down next to him. You’re half a foot away, but he scooted in to close the gap until your thighs were touching. “How’re you feeling? Done anything like this before?”

“No. I’ve only ever done solo stuff.” You shook your head, peering at him through the corner of your eye. “How about you?”

“Same.” He sighed. There’s a beat of silence then he motioned to the hefty bin bag you’ve been hauling through his home and asked, “What’ve you got in there?” He cocks his head to the side with curiosity. 

“Oh, right.” You gulped, picking it up and holding the soft bag in your arms. “My outfits. I thought I’d bring some different options for what I could wear in the video.” You finally turned to look at him, only to see he was wearing an absolutely dumbfounded expression. You interpreted this as him being clueless to the art of roleplay. When you were checking out his profile, you quickly noted that he only started posting porn very recently; so he’s clearly still a novice to the world of adult content, and thus he’s ignorant to how well costume videos perform. 

However, that’s your internal assumption. In reality, Kuroo knew all about the different clothes you wear and the various creatures you dress-up as to satiate your kinky fanbase. The whole reason he looked so astonished was because he was one of those thirsty motherfuckers who was in your comments — on his secret account — begging for you to wear a catsuit. He was simply stunned by the prospect of getting to see you in those costumes in real life. 

In an attempt to educate him, you explained, “My videos usually do really well if I wear some sort of costume. Of course, you don’t need to dress-up, though. Unless you want to.” You stared at him, taking his silence as a response then continuing, “So, would you be okay with me showing you the options and we can decide together?”

Kuroo’s mouth and throat had gone dry as bone. He swallowed slowly to lubricate it, but still ended up rasping out, “Sure.”

Paying no mind to the strain in his voice, you spring up from your seat, grab your bag and drag it into the ensuite bathroom to get changed into the first costume. Putting these kinds of clothes on was usually tricky and oddly time-consuming, but Kuroo was just thankful that he was allowed some time to try and mentally will away the boner he had sprung as soon as your thigh brushed his. Most people would consider that pathetic, but he was just relieved that he hadn’t popped one the moment he laid eyes on you. Especially considering the first images that flashed in his mind were of you rubbing your clit for the camera and squirting on your fingers. 

Eventually he managed to settle himself down until he was flaccid again, but that effort was futile, as his dick already began hardening when you stepped out of the bathroom, clad in a risque maid costume. He exhaled harshly out of his nose at the sight; there was a faux-corset with white ribbons laddering up the front and back, under the dramatic scoopneck that revealed a shocking amount of cleavage. It baffled him that your tits somehow didn’t fall out as you walked towards him and gave a little twirl. It had a frilly ‘skirt’ which was really a short strip of fabric around your hips, it honestly didn’t cover anything. Your black lacey underwear was fully visible, and thus your plump asscheeks were too.

When you stepped out in that outfit, it also reminded him of that one video you did, where you positioned the camera high-up and angled it down at you while you sucked off a dildo that was suctioned to the wall. Blowing it messily and whining like a bitch the whole time, calling the viewer ‘master’ and ‘sir��. Fuck, his cock was throbbing in his trousers, but he tried to play it cool.

“Think this one would be popular?”

“It usually is.” You hum, fidgeting with the edge of your ‘skirt’, “Have you got a full-length mirror somewhere?”

He nodded his head towards his wardrobe and replied, “In there, baby. Open it.”

Your knees almost buckle at the nickname, yet you scuttle over to his wardrobe and open one of the doors like he said. As promised, there was a full-length mirror on the inside and you were able to see what the entire outfit looked like on you. Your eyebrows furrowed together as you scrutinised yourself harshly. Tugging at the ribbons the torso, you complain, “I wish this were a real corset. I’d be so cinched.”

“Cinched.” Kuroo repeated dreamily, transfixed on your perky tits threatening to burst out of that top at any given moment. When he realised he was staring, he snaps his neck straight and clears his throat, “It’s nice. Wanna wear that?”

“Hm, maybe. But I’d like to show you the other options first before we decide.”

“Go ahead.” He clicked his tongue, and you happily skipped back into his bathroom to change into your next outfit. The next one wasn’t nearly as intricate or expensive as the previous; you bought the maid costume in-store at a specialty lingerie boutique for an extortionate price, but the new one you got for cheap off amazon. Still, they both seem to get the job done.

The second one didn’t require half as much struggle to put on either, so within a few minutes, the door to his ensuite cracked open, revealing your supple form in a dainty bunny set. It wasn’t nearly as intricate as the maid lingerie, yet somehow it was far more tantalising. It’s simply a two-piece set: a white seamless boob tube that was semi-transparent, meaning he could see the faint outline of your areola underneath, paired with a complementing pair of white panties. Overall, the only thing that made it ‘bunny-like’ was the fluffy ears you wore, along with the fuzzy tail. 

It’s not particularly astonishing or subversive, but that didn’t stop Kuroo from being totally enraptured by it. By you in that slutty little outfit. He had to bite his lip to contain the lewd comments threatening to spill from his lips. Thankfully, you were too caught up in inspecting your reflection in the mirror, to notice this raging erection that he had given up on trying to hide. “I like it. It’s cute.” You grumbled, shaking your head to test how the ears flop around “But it’s a bit basic. Don’t ya think?” You whip your head around to look at him, and he simply stares back at you.

His head was pounding; the obscene thoughts rushing through his mind were about to cause his nerves to short-circuit. There was just no way of coping with how fucking sexy you look in that bunny set. The white compliments your skin tone so well, and the two-piece means that your perfect waist is on full display for him. The fluffy accents made you appear so innocent and sweet, while the g-string was so skimpy it left your ass hanging out to tempt him, making for delicious contrast. 

There was a beat of silence before he responded, “That one.”

“Hm?” You tilted your head, unsure whether you heard him correctly,

“That one.” He said with a stern resolve. “That’s what you’ll wear in the video.”

You pouted, frantically glancing between him and the mirror, “Ar— Are you sure you don’t want to see the rest of the choices I bro—”

“I’m sure.”

𓆩༒︎𓆪 

The cameras were rolling.

You were sat between Kuroo’s legs on the bed, and your own legs were folded over his, spread as wide as possible so your pantie-clad cunt was on show for the viewers. Your back was pressed against his chest, and you can feel his laboured breaths as he peers over your shoulder at your dripping cunt. It was so wet already, there was a visible damp-spot on the white fabric. 

He snickered at this, and his large hand moved from gripping your thigh to carefully running his middle finger between your folds. You shuddered slightly at his icy touch against your sopping heat, and he chuckled with his lips pressed into your neck — not kissing just yet, just staying close to you. “Wet already, baby?” He teases.

Unsure what to even say to that, you just whimpered a little, opting to focus on the devastatingly slow movement of his finger up and down your clothed slit. He smiled at your cute noises, and rumbled, “Don’t be shy. I like it.”

He couldn’t believe he had you on him. He’d been imagining this moment for so long that it doesn’t quite feel real. But as soon as his hand made contact with your cunt, he started to ground himself. You were so soft against his palm, and your heat penetrated through the fabric of your feeble panties. The more he rubbed you, the damper the fabric became, until eventually it was all drenched and clinging to your folds like a second skin. 

When his palm grinded against your aching clit, you instinctively called out, “Kuroo..” His name lingered in the air as you melted back against his muscled chest. But then it occurred to you that you’re filming content, so you suddenly tense and splutter, “Oh, sorry— I didn’t mean—”

“Shhh. Sh sh sh.” He hushed you reassuringly, lightly circling your clit with one hand while the other placed a finger over your mouth. “The video can be muted. Say whatever you like, sweetie.” He pressed a loving kiss to the slant of your jaw, “Be as loud as you want.”

God, why was he making you feel this way? Butterflies in your stomach all for a man you barely know. Granted, you’ve been watching his content for a while so perhaps you know him a little better than you’d like to admit. Still, there’s no reason for you to be so charmed by him. From the way he’s toying with your clit through your panties and pulling all the desired sounds from you; you were already putty in his hands.

This was only foreplay, so Kuroo chose not to taunt you too much. Just as you were about to start begging for more, Kuroo hooked his fingers under the strip of fabric covering your pussy and peels it off, pulling it to the side of your puffy lips so he had full access to your drooling hole. His finger pressed against your entrance, not penetrating yet but simply basking in your wetness, and as he did this you were probably able to feel his cock throb in his pants, but he was done caring by now. You turned him on, and there was no point in hiding it anymore.

Especially with that impatient hole of yours, practically gnawing at his fingers whenever he threatened to slip inside. “Needy girl.” He rasps against your cheek, “Want more? I bet you do, don’t you?” 

You longingly buck your hips into his hand, seeking more stimulation, and you receive it in the unexpected form, his thumb pressing down harshly on your clit. You whimper at the tortuous sting and halt the movement of your hips, to which Kuroo muses, “You can’t just take whatever you want, baby. Not with me.” His playful tone and doting kisses on your shoulder act in stark contrast to his sharp words, “Don’t be a brat. Ask for it normally.”

His authority and rigour served as a surprise, even to Kuroo. He didn’t expect that he could be so stern with someone he basically worships, but the dominance within him just seemed to leap out automatically. And what shocked him even more was the fact you actually went along with it.  

“Fing—” You stammered. Without thinking, your fingers interlock with his hand that’s stroking thigh. This caused him to freeze momentarily, but you don’t even notice due to the immense pressure on your clit, “Finger me. Please.”

He didn’t reply. Instead, he releases the tension on your clit and plunged two fingers straight into your soaked hole, his middle and ring finger. The hurried entrance results in your walls straining to accommodate him, but soon the pain subsided and you grow fond of the sensation of his two slender digits worming around within your snug walls. “Nggh.. thank you.” You said in a high-pitchen voice, and Kuroo laughed, kissing the back of your neck. “Thank you, baby. You’re so fucking cute.”

It wasn’t long before his hand was piercing your cunt over and over, his digits inserting into you until you're crying wildly into the expanse of his bedroom. On top of your moans, your wet cunt was also so loud that you’re barely able to hear him grumble into your neck, “Love this creamy hole.” That was a censored version of what he actually wanted to say. He wanted to spew a load of shit about how he’s been dreaming of this pretty cunt for months, and how you’re even tighter than he ever could’ve imagined and you’re just so fucking perfect and he never wants this to end and he never wants you to leave him. 

But he couldn’t say all that. Not only because it would paint him as a loser fanboy, but also because he wouldn’t have been able to articulate any of that since he was far too concentrated on drilling into your hole at all the right angles to make you squirt. 

Meanwhile, your fingers were still firmly interlocked with his, and your other hand was balled into a fist on his bedsheets. “Mm.. please.” Your pussy hugged his fingers as the friction against your walls caused a foreboding heat to stir in your abdomen. Truthfully, he wasn’t even going that fast; his pace was moderate and each thrust was gentle. Yet it still drove you fucking crazy. Your head laid against his shoulders and your lips were parted slightly to allow the delirious moans and babbling to pour out. 

Then, without warning, he pulled out of your pussy and to your dismay, he didn’t re-enter. He circled your cunt with his fingers — not even aiming for your clit, just rubbing your entire soft pussy. “Fuck..” You cursed under your breath, internally wallowing at the emptiness. “That felt so good. Why’d you..” Your breathless voice trailed off.

He planted a kiss on your temple and affectionately stroked your leg, “You thought I’d let you finish that easy? Aw, you poor thing.” His hot breath tickled your skin as he chuckled, “Don’t worry about it. I won’t leave you high and dry. C’mon, get on your hands n’ knees for me.”

You pouted, looking down between your legs at the mess he’d made of you. His hands glistened with your slick as he massaged your cunt. Occasionally grazing your clit on purpose, but you seal your lips to prevent him getting the satisfaction of successfully toying with you.

Upon not receiving a response, along with you not following his order, Kuroo followed up with, “Y’know I’m only teasing you cos you’re fun to mess with. You’re a cutie.” He smiled, then sternly patted your thigh, “So, c’mon, get up. Don’t make me ask twice.”

You sighed dramatically and did as he said. Your legs were still a bit limp from earlier, but you were somewhat able to prop yourself up on your hands and knees. Simultaneously, he got up from where he was sat too and positioned himself behind you on his knees, snaking his arms under your abdomen and lifting your rear up until your ass was aligned with his crotch and your back was bent into a lethal arch.

When he was behind you, looking down, he noticed that the pompom tail you wore wasn’t attached to the hips of your panties like he initially assumed. Instead, it was suspended between your ass cheeks, as though it was connected to the string part of your panties. Or maybe it was… 

Fuck. No way you’re doing this to him. His heart skipped a beat at the realisation, and he had to bite down harshly on his lip to contain himself. You’re just a fucking slut, he yelled in his mind. Still, on the outside, he tried to play it cool as usual. His big hand waved over your tail and fidgeted with the white tufts of fur, “Sweet little bunny.” He cooed, then abruptly yanked on your tail. Not with enough force to remove it from your snug asshole, but still enough to make you gasp dramatically. Kuroo snickered at your cute reaction, and leaned down to whisper near your ear, “I’m going to have so much fun with you, baby.”

“Pl— please..” You whimpered out in response. He smiled and patted your ass, but the impact was so harsh it almost felt like a spank. 

He dragged his thumb sloppily across your wet folds, giving your clit a quick pinch, before retracting his hand and saying, “Really think you’re ready for it?” He unzipped his trousers and released his raging erection from the confined of his brief. Thankfully, your cheek was pressed against his duvet so you didn’t see the damp patch from where he was leaking precum. He manoeuvres his tip so he can drag it across your pussy, in between your soft lips and relishing in the way your sticky folds cling to him. 

“I’m ready, Kuroo.” You’re more than ready. You’ve seen his dick hundreds of times in his videos. The incredible size and obscene girth, it’s just perfect. From your doggy-style position, you weren’t able to see it at the moment but you were able to curate a pretty accurate image of his perspective in your mind. His throbbing head teasing your entrance and leaking hot pre into your heat; the two fluids combining to create a filthy mess. “Please fill me up…”

“So desperate, huh? I like it.” He hummed, wasting no time in sinking his length straight into your cunt. It feels just like you imagined: his fat cock stretching your hole, leaving a searing discomfort in your abdomen as he clogged up your insides. It was brutal, it required you to bite into the sheets to cope with the delicious agony of being so fucking full. 

“Aw, too much for you?” He said in the most mocking, faux-sympathetic tone you’ve ever heard. All you’re able to reply with is a staggered, breathy groan, and Kuroo just laughed, “Well, you’re doing great, sweetie.” He smacked your ass slightly, which made you squirm, though you assumed he meant it in a reassuring way, “Somehow you feel even better than you look. Which isn’t easy, cos you look so sexy.” 

His hips rocked into you, dick dragging against your walls in the process. The friction was so addicting, you can’t help but arch back into his length, but he kept you in stationary with a strong hand planted on your hip. “Let me take care of it. Take care of you.” He corrected himself in the most charming tone. One hand idly squeezed your ass while the other rubbed your lower stomach, feeling the bulge disappear and reappear as he slowly slid in and out. “You just stay there and look pretty, okay? That shouldn’t be too hard for you.” It’s like you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Mkay..” You murmured, eyes fluttering shut and you grew fond of the steady rhythm of his cock. It was moderate at first but it wasn’t long before it devolved into something fiercer. Soon, his hips were slamming into yours at a delirious rate, and your pussy was being stretched out repeatedly, forced to accommodate his ridiculous girth over and over. It was intoxicating, and you were melting further into the sheets with each sharp thrust.

“Kuroo!” You squealed, pussy twitching around his cock as you spoke. “Nggh! Pl—please, you’re too big..” The words shot from your mouth in tandem with each bump of his tip against your cervix. You’re not even sure what you were asking for more or mercy; just that you need to let him know how good he was making you feel. “Shit, it hurts so much but please don’t stop.” You said as though it was one word.

“I won’t, baby.” He huffed, but he couldn’t tell if you heard him. He was embarrassingly breathless; not because of the energy it took to keep plowing into you, but rather, because this is everything he’s ever dreamed of and he’s nervous. Like woah, it’s really your pussy that’s gripping the fuck out of his cock right now. The girl he’s been fantasising about for months is now laid out doggy-style on his bed, how’s that happened? And what is he supposed to do?

Well, he had no choice. The only thing he could do now was give you the best orgasm of your life. 

Your ass bounced lewdly with each furious thrust into your hole, and Kuroo was fixated on it, watching the movement intently. Mindlessly, his hand that was previously caressing your ass moved to that little fuzzy tail that was still taunting him. He gave it a tug and revels in your flustered reaction; especially appreciating how your pussy would clench around him. He tugged on it again, this time using his spare hand to speak your cheeks so he can see where the metal pokes out of your restrictive hole. “You like it when I do that?” 

No response. Besides guttural moans and whiny curses. Seems like he’s already fucked you dumb, which is a good sign, considering he’s teetering on an orgasm as it is. Truthfully, it’s a miracle he’s lasted this long in your presence. He’s been sporting an erection since you entered his home. Plus, he’s got a prime view of your ass jiggling against his cock, and your tight cunt swallowing him whole; two extremely arousing sights.

Similarly, you may have thought your high from before had subsided, but parts of it were still lingering in your abdomen and were reignited as soon as he started to pick up the pace. Now, your foamy pussy was basically screaming his name, as your stomach churned with delight. “ ‘m right there, shit. Mmmph, please take me.” Your eyes rolled back in your head, and a pool of saliva was welling at the side of your mouth that was pressed against his bedsheets. Not your finest moment, but he couldn’t see your face and neither could the views, so you didn’t care. “Kuroo! I need you so bad— Fuck, help me, please.”

His hips were crashing against yours and causing your cute ass to bounce each time, but he wouldn’t let himself be distracted by it this time. He was fully committed to rearranging your guts and focusing on your pleasure, as emphasised by his fingers that made their way to your clit to start tracing sloppy, unstable circles. Along with one of his hands that reached down to grab your calves that would keep kicking into the air. 

His efforts weren’t in vain, as the sizzling heat in your stomach eventually erupted to consume your whole form. An all-encompassing bliss that possessed your body for a few seconds. Your pussy spasmed uncontrollably and it’s like you lost yourself to your climax for a short while. Your toes curled in ecstasy, and your mouth was hanging wide open but all that came out was a few choppy moans, “Aa— Aah— Nghh—” Each one higher in pitch than the former. 

It was music to Kuroo’s ears. And what you didn’t realise, was that he continued using your pussy throughout the duration of your high. Dick ramming into you repeatedly, which you assumed he was doing for the benefit of your pleasure, fucking you all the way through your orgasm so you get experience it to the fullest extent. However, he was only thrusting into you for his own sake, since he still hadn’t climaxed, for some reason. 

It was irritating because he was right there. Dancing on the edge. The delay started to worry him too because what if he never finished and not only will the video be ruined, but you’ll probably leave thinking that you're not adequate, or something crazy like that. Which couldn’t be further from the truth; you’re perfect. Subconsciously, this overthinking suppressed his orgasm even more.

And you could feel his frustration growing with each thrust. While you were relishing in a post-orgasmic haze, his hips kept rutting and rutting against your poor spent pussy. Like he was angry at it or something. “Shit. What is this.” He tossed his head back and cursed at the ceiling, while holding your calf with nails digging into your skin, “Baby..”

But then it came; the hot wave of euphoria he’d been waiting for. It overcame him in the best way possible, and his eyebrows furrowed together and he submitted to his climax. His cock throbbed as he spurted his seed into your homey walls, filling you with the most lewdly saturated sensation. “That’s it, slut.” He smacked you on the ass, causing you to jolt, “Take it all like a good girl. Hm.”

Eventually, once the high had died down, he pulled out of your slippery cunt. He gave his cock a couple lazy pumps, swearing any extra ejaculation across your folds and soiled panties. He smiled at the filthy view and mumbled, “For fucks sake.”

𓆩༒︎𓆪 

The video had to undergo some editing. Namely, cropping his head out of frame and removing every instance in which you uttered his name. But that video performed the best out of any other content that either of you have ever released. You could say it went ‘viral’ in the NSFW twitter-sphere. You both raked in so many new followers and so much cash from that video, it was surreal. 

Needless to say, there will certainly be more collaborations between the two of you in the future. Purely for monetary purposes, of course, nothing deeper than that. Nope. Definitely no underlying feelings of obsession for each other; just two semi-professionals, making porn together.

[oldermenfucker]

Continuation of this drabble / tw: angst, hurt/comfort, Robby being so fucking soft.

Robby learned pretty early in life that he gives the best hugs. The first time was when he hugged his grandma when she baked him his first batch of cookies — similar to the ones he was eyeing on their daily walk around the block. It was a gesture of gratitude.

Next time was when he was playing in the park and watched a kid fall down from a slide. The first thing Robby did was to run and hug him. It was a gesture of empathy.

None of those moments can be compared to holding your — his — daughter in his arms. This is a gesture of love, something he’s wanted since he was a little boy.

He holds her like she is the most precious thing in his life, following close by you. She has fallen asleep after nearly fifteen minutes of crying in his arms. He is no better, he is still shedding silent tears as he looks down at the little girl’s puffy face.

You told him that she felt safe enough with him when he managed to put her to sleep while she clutched his t-shirt. That night, he didn’t put her in her own bed. Instead, he cuddled her until he had to leave for work, but not without a kiss and a promise made in a whisper from him.

Dana was quick to make sure Robby wasn’t needed anywhere when she came into the room and saw the broken family inside, giving him a pat on the shoulder before she pulled the curtains and stepped out.

He rests his back against the cold wall, looking over at you to make sure you are okay, while he slowly rocks the baby in his arms. He wants to reach out and hold your hand, to beg for forgiveness, plead for mercy so you could take him back.

The risk is too big to take, though. He doesn’t want to wake her up now that she’s settled, so he stays put on the chair, caressing her bare arms as she drools a little on his shoulder.

Suddenly, he hears you shift on the bed, the monitor beeping a little faster, and he notices your eyelids fluttering before they slowly part.

He can sense you are taking in your surroundings slowly. Your face is no longer as sickly as the moment they brought you in. He is so fucking glad for that.

Robby’s grip tightens around the little girl in his arms before he slowly pushes the rolling chair closer to the bed, making sure he is in your line of sight.

“Robby?” You see him finally, blinking in exhaustion as you try to figure out how you ended up here. You look down, finding your daughter soundly asleep in his embrace, “What’s going on here? What happened?”

“You were brought here by the EMTs, dehydrated and starving,” he gives you a pointed look before giving you a soft unsure smile, slowly reaching to hold your hand without waking her up, “I’m happy you’re better now.”

“Is she okay?” You ask, retrieving your hand from his touch, letting a relieved sigh when he nods silently. “Why are you doing this, Robby? Why… why are you holding her like that?”

“Because she’s my daughter too.”

“You left us,” you sniffle, closing your fingers in a fist as tears begin to fill your eyes, “You abandoned us when you needed us the most. I was hurt, sh-she was wrecked, Robby. She cried for you every night–”

“I’m so fucking sorry, I don’t know how I can show it but–” he stops himself from sobbing, inhaling shakily before he lowers his voice, caressing your daughter’s cheek with his knuckles so gently, “I can never forgive myself for how I left the two of you. I can’t sleep, I can’t go for a day without wishing for the building to collapse on me–”

“Don’t say that–”

“But it’s the truth,” he whispers, watching as you wipe your tears quickly, looking away from him so you can somehow calm yourself down, “You two are my world, and I threw you away because of some unresolved problems I had with myself. You didn’t deserve it, neither did she. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“I missed you so much, Robby,” You finally put your palm over his and he immediately relaxes, wrapping his fingers around your hand, squeezing it softly, “But I can’t go through this again, it’s tearing me apart. She needs me but I’m too broken to do it all over again, I barely survived–”

“Shh, shh, I won’t let you drown again,” he brings your knuckles to his lips, kissing each finger slowly, pressing his forehead against your skin while he tries to regulate his breathing, “I won’t be the cause of it ever again. I swear on my life. I can’t let go of you, I can’t let go of her, it’ll kill me. She’s my little girl.”

“Daddy?”

You both look down as she begins to stir, rubbing her eyes with her little fists before she opens her eyes, looking at Robby with confusion.

“Hey, baby girl,” he kisses her forehead, smoothing his thumb over her frown, sitting her up on his lap, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” she replies, her frown deepening when she sees his tears running down his cheeks. Reaching with her tiny fingers, she starts wiping them off slowly, “Why are you crying?”

“Nothing baby–”

They both turn towards you when you let out a sudden sob, slapping your hand over your mouth to muffle it but it was too late.

“Mommy! You’re awake!” She tries to wiggle out of his hold, but stops when she sees all the monitors, “Do I hurt her if I cuddle her?”

“No, sweetheart, let me help you up,” he picks her up, holding her over his forearm while he adjusts your bed, slowly lowering her next to you when you open your arms for her, “Easy, easy.”

“Hi, baby!”

“Hi!” She nuzzles her face into the crook of your neck, holding onto you tightly, “Are you okay?”

“Yes, baby, I’m perfect!” You wrap your arms around her and keep her close, watching as Robby hesitates to reach to touch you, but gives in to his urges when you smile at him, “We’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he leans down, kissing your forehead so slowly as if you would break if he fully presses his lips to your temple, “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

He straightens his back, slowly walking away, but it doesn’t take long for your daughter to make him freeze in his step.

“Daddy, where are you going?”

“I’m gonna go check with the doctor to see if we can take Mommy home tonight,” he replies, turning around to look her in the eye, trying to hide the shakiness of his voice.

“Will you come back?”

“Always.”

[ordinaryschmuck]

I'm going to be the cynic here for a second. Just keep in mind that I'm not against people boycotting YouTube as much as you can. Keep at it, CEOs listen to numbers more than anything else and they'll know they need to listen to people better when no one's on the platform. It's simple as that...Unfortunately, I regrettably broke yesterday because I wanted to see the new episode of The Amazing Digital Circus. I love that show, and pirating an independent creation felt wrong because these are already creatives FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES to get the story they want to tell out there without any studio interference. So I told myself, "Okay, this is the ONLY video I'll watch and go back to boycotting. Surely that'll be fine."

Then I saw the view count...Which was already up into the FIVE MILLIONS when I first put the episode on, and is currently, as I'm typing this, up to--

OVER TWENTY-FIVE MILLION?! In a little over twenty-four hours?! FUCK, this show is popular...

But, yeah, it's safe to say...the boycott's not working. NOT as well as people are hoping, and NOT with shows like these or with YouTubers with bigger pulls. Now, there could be reasons for this.

There's not that big of a reach as people think there is. CLEARLY there's not a big enough reach! People are still logged on, still watching, and likely don't even KNOW about the boycott to begin with. If they did...the creatives would likely disappear too, with some still sticking around and uploading videos that still gain the same traction they usually do. But either because they STILL need the money OR because don't know about the big boycott, none of them are stepping away from uploading.

Not enough people care. They likely lean into the same kind of cynicism where they feel as though boycotting won't make that big of a difference anyways, so why bother with it anyway? Boycotting NEVER worked for ANYTHING in their eyes. And when you see how high the viewership remains, then they might feel as though that's justified.

However, while there ARE problems, there's still solutions. Here's a few:

Reach out to creatives, since THEY'RE the ones who really give YouTube money. Especially the ones who seem to still have a soul. Jacksepticeye and Markiplier seem decent dudes. Maybe if they see how much the boycott could work, they'll step in and help ease the issue.

Cast WIDER nets. Go onto every social media site you have and tell people to stop watching YouTube to get the boycott going faster and stronger.

If people still don't think boycotting will work, then at the very least encourage them to watch LESS. Tell them to watch a video a day or go to other sources for background noise, downloads, or compilations to fill gap. It won't be as effective as a full BLACKOUT of views, but it'll at least take chunks out of the numbers. DON'T go to someone saying it doesn't matter with, "YOU'RE A SELFISH MONSTER!" That'll make them distance from you and the cause FURTHER as you come of as too intense. For people like that, the most you can do is baby steps, whether you like it or not.

And, of course, there's bombarding YouTube with emails for the AI age restriction/censorship bullshit and WHY it's bullshit. But for the boycott, it CAN work, but it's...not. Not currently. Not without some revisions to the plans or by going further with them. Change CAN happen, but not at the rate we're going by.

I haven't seen that many people talking about it but the youtube boycott starting aug 13th has like 0 drawbacks. you'll watch less slop, your cool video essays will still be there after yt rolls back their censorship policy, could be a chance to join your fave's patreon, take my hand let's pirate a damn movie. LET'S PIRATE A DAMN MOVIE!!

[windyremedy]

unwanted wingmen ❀

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

synopsis: deciding to confess one late night bakugou felt fairly confident. if only dumb, dumber, and dumbest didn’t decide to come along as well.

it was on a whim when he decided to confess, late night at your dorm before he loses any form of confidence which sounds unfathomable but with you it’s true. making him nervous as shit with just a single glance or a lingering touch.

fuck if you told him you had a second quirk about making people’s heart race he’d believe it in a second but he wasn’t dense. he was aware of what he was feeling so he was gonna face it like always does, he was brave…..right?

it was just irritating to feel this kind of stressed, like his heart’s about to combust whenever he even so much as thinks about you and it’s quite frankly ruining his entire routine, so it’s only right that you fix it.

just head to the your room. your room. your—

“oh hey kacchan!”

of all the problems he thought of what he did not account for was being caught immediately after stepping into the common room by these three idiots no less.

“shut up.” he instinctively spoke as the trio perked up from his unexpected entrance.

“yes, yes it’s been a good night so far but whatcha doing so late at night at uhhh nine pm.” kaminari grinned innocently.

“nothing.” he murmured as inconspicuously as he could, inching closer to the other hallway entrance slowly but surely.

though of course kirishima piqued up as well from the kitchen stools, asking with genuine interest and a hand under his chin.

“where are you headed?”

“nowhere.”

“clearly somewhere dude.” sero stated standing up, placing his cup back down in a relaxed manner.

“It’s— why do you care?! leave me alone.”

but of course that’s not what happened.

“you are not following me— GET AWAY!!” he yelled as quietly as he could, pushing the buttons to close on the elevator.

kaminari saw and sped to it like lightning to try and keep it open, which he successfully achieved getting squished in the process alongside kirishima.

“BAKUFDOBRO PLEDSE WE’LL HEALO LP YHOUU—“ kaminari begged in pain.

“yheah we’ll root for yhew mhan!”

“yep. totally be chilling dude.” sero nodded from the back as the other two fell inside.

“I’m seriously going to kill all three of you.”

“see that’s not very romantic, this is why you need us.”

“that— I wasn’t trying to be!???”

“c’mon were already here you can’t give rid of us now.”

“unfortunately.” he sighed, wondering if he should just scrap this whole thing and head back.

no.

he wasn’t one to back down. no one can stop him, nothing will stop him. he’s gonna do it. he will do it—

“dude just some advice, I think you have to knock.” sero recommended.

yet as timing would have it you opened the door.

“FUCK OFF!”

“what?”

“I—“

standing there with attire unlike from what he usually sees you in which makes the moment feel all the more intimate, just a couple steps away from where he stood outside the hallway was you in your pajamas.

“sorry bakugou but I’m pretty sure this is my room?” you smiled, that damned blinding smile.

“kugo— bakugou?”

“huh?”

“did you need something?” you asked tilting your head slightly like a goddamn puppy, a cute squishable puppy.

“oh he is done for.”

one of the idiots whispered from the tall potted plant that barely covered all three of their large figures. nodding at the scene like some sort of experts, noting down their explosive friend’s very serious case of being clinically: whipped.

“SHUT UP!!!!”

“uh.” you stared at him in utter surprise, mouth slightly agape and eyes clear with incredulousness at the outburst.

“no— not. sorry it wasn’t uh….I was arguing with that idiot pikachu…....in my head.”

“oh. right.” you nodded, awkwardly smiling and looking as if you didn’t fully believe him.

you weren’t even doing anything but he wanted to melt in that spot. he was strong, he was tall, he has a good quirk, he was well off financially, he has both parents, he has everything but now he wanted to be nothing.

“really, I didn’t mean to say that to you—“

“no I get it. kami’s really annoying sometimes so I understand when it reaches that point.”

“what the fuck—“

“shush!”

then a thump could be heard as the plant wobbled almost crashing.

“what was that?” you wondered, going to look outside but he stopped you.

holding onto your arm as gentle as he could before letting go as he realized. it was unintentional, he just really didn’t want to ruin the already fucked atmosphere, help him my ass.

“it was just some rats! I think— three really annoying ones at that.” he spat out, glaring at a particular area just around the corner.

“there’s rats in the building?!”

“oh principal nezu would not enjoy hearing that.”

“we should—“ you spoke at the same time he unfortunately yelled.

“holy shit can you let me speak?!?!!”

ha.

he’s gonna kill them. they are dead, by the end of today blood will be on his hands if it’s the last thing he does—

“are you okay kats? you look really agitated.” you asked worriedly, unaware of his murderous plans.

“again no, I— fuck that’s wasn’t towards you. I’m fine seriously! I just came here to say something to ya.”

you laughed at that as if you were fine but he could tell you had some semblance of nervousness behind your expression.

“hopefully it’s not to tell me you hate me.” you muttered half joking, unable to look at him in fear of his response.

but he does hate you.

he hates your smile, he hates your laugh, he hates your eyes, he hates your interests, he hates the way you speak, he hates the way you act, he hates the way you look. he hates how it all makes him feel weak however—

“no. I don’t…not actually.” he breathes.

“if anything I find you less annoying by a lot which means I— like you.” he confessed as his ears turned red.

“to the point where I hate just how goddamn defeated you make me feel but I don’t care, you can kill me and I would die happy so if you could.”

“woah.”

“—even if I’m undeserving would you consider giving me a shot anyway?“

“I— of course! yes—“ you hugged answering him but was cut off by confetti suddenly falling everywhere.

turning to your right was the the culprit. mina in all her pink glory with a party popper at hand. panning slightly behind her was the rest of the bakusquad with party hats and a heart balloon? seriously where did they get that—

“sero texted me and I can’t believe I wasn’t fully there!”

“no one was supposed to be.” bakugou bitterly murmured as he tiredly buried his face in the crook of your neck.

“so it was you all that made him so irritated.” you laughed, holding the hand wrapped around your chest in comfort.

each of them looked around as if they had no faults at all, staring interestingly at the intricately patterned carpets which only further confirmed your suspicions.

“we were just doing our jobs as wingmen.”

“you did jack shit—“

“c’mon bakubro, all’s well that ends well but who knew he could be so suave with words?“

“die.”

what a romantic.

©windyremedy

[zzeynes-blog]

Cruel World- LN4

Cruel World Part 1

Masterlist

PAIRING: Lando Norris x Female! Reader

DESCRIPTION: He thought she'd be there no matter what. She got tired of his games. When she finally walked away, he realizes his own cruelty and the depths of the love he once overlooked.

WARNINGS: 18+, mature themes, strong language, angst, miscarriage

Usually, the boyfriend would plan the dates, pick his girlfriend up, and put more effort into the relationship. Unfortunately for her, her boyfriend had much important matters to deal with.

Such as his F1 career.

After dating for 3 years, she grew accustomed to the way he slowly resigned from the relationship. After all, she was dating an F1 driver, who was she to expect him to dedicate all his attention to her?

So, for 3 years she continued to make do with the bits of him left to her. She would attend all his races no matter what, hoping the bits of time they spent together in his garage would make up for the dates he'd missed.

She missed the attentive and charming boy she once had but "beggars can't be choosers" she often reminded herself whenever she felt like his efforts weren't sufficient.

She was sitting at a cafe in Silverstone with Kelly, sipping her latte as she pretended to be interested in whatever fashion trend the brunette in front of her was talking about.

"Y/N, are you okay? I can tell your mind is wandering off somewhere else." The woman asked with concern written all over her face.

"Yeah, of course. Sorry, I haven't been feeling very well. I've been very tired and nauseous lately. No clue why." She sighed as she forced a small smile.

Kelly's eyes widened. "That sounds like something I went through twice..." She breathed.

"What! No way, don't worry we're good with protection and stuff." The girl responded with a laugh.

"You never know. You should get tested." The wiser woman added as she leaned back into her seat and took a sip of her coffee.

She was sitting in her hotel room as she sipped her tea, hoping the abdominal pain would go away. Tomorrow was race day and she wanted to make sure everything went smoothly at her boyfriend's home race.

The man on the other side of the bed was talking about the race, not paying attention to the pained expression on his girlfriend's face.

After some time, he drifted off to sleep as she kept tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep.

The next morning, the typical race day endeavors followed. She took painkillers and ignored the way the sharp pain in her abdomen worsened by the minute. She chalked it up to her period coming after missing it from stress for the past few months, it had always been irregular.

So, she wore her best outfit, did her hair and makeup perfectly. She always made sure to look presentable next to her boyfriend. The online comments about her appearance and the way her boyfriend would be extra friendly with women always bothering her despite her efforts to ignore them.

She would never tell her boyfriend, not after the countless times he dismissed her, saying she "needed to accept him and the lifestyle his career brought".

So she did.

She accepted that no amount of effort, no perfect outfit or flawless hair, could make him see her. She accepted that his charm was reserved for everyone else, that the attention he gave to others was the only attention he’d ever truly know how to give. 

She never complained.

He continued to believe everything was perfect. He knew-he always knew- that she bent herself around his life, ignored her own needs, swallowed her frustration. But it didn’t matter. He shrugged it off, smirking like it was her problem, not his. She’ll accept it, he thought, she always does.

After Lando won his home race and completed all his media duties, the night was reserved to party and celebrate, of course.

Lando was chatting with a female fan who had approached him at the club they’d went to as Y/N sat with Rebecca, Carlos too busy talking to Charles about some race strategy. She pulled out the painkillers from her bag and grabbed as many pills as she could take without exceeding the daily dosage. 

Rebecca looked at the girl with a puzzled expression. “You haven’t been well today. What’s up with you? Are you okay?” She asked fondly. 

“I have really bad abdominal pain. It’s been going on since last night. Must be my period coming soon. I’ll be fine.” The girl explained with a forced smile. 

But Rebecca knew better than to ignore her friend’s discomfort. 

“Did you tell Lando?” The blue eyed woman asked, already knowing the answer. 

“No, I didn’t want to ruin this day for him.” Y/N replied, her hand on her stomach. 

“Well you shouldn’t have to tell him. He should notice it when your hands been on your stomach all day with that pained look on your face. Get up we’re going to the hospital.” The brunette declared as she got up from her seat at the bar. 

Y/N tried to protest but she knew how persistent the Scottish woman was.

She glanced over at her boyfriend. He was leaning down into a blonde girl's ear, sharing a conversation as they laughed together.

Rebecca followed her friend's gaze and sighed at the sight in front of them. "I know you love him but he's such a shit boyfriend. Come on, let's grab Carlos, he'll drive us." She sighed as she gently tugged at her friend's arm, trying to stray her attention away from the man flirting with another woman in front of them.

The girl ignored the way her chest tightened and got up from her seat, no longer able to find the words to disagree with her friend.

When they found Carlos and Charles, the two men were both worried about the woman in front of them. Carlos didn't need to hear a word from his girlfriend as he gave a curt goodbye to Charles who offered to come with them, saying it wasn't necessary.

By the time they reached the hospital, the pain had sharpened into relentless waves. Y/N clutched her lower abdomen, breathing shallowly as Rebecca guided her through the doors, Carlos close behind with a concerned expression.

At triage, the nurse asked routine questions, but Y/N could barely focus, each contraction of pain making her flinch. “It feels… worse than a period,” she muttered, her voice tight. Her stomach twisted in knots, and a cold sweat broke out across her forehead.

Rebecca pulled out her phone. “Do you want me to call Lando?” she asked quietly. Y/N shook her head, but Rebecca’s expression left no room for argument. She dialed anyway. The phone rang… once. Twice. Then straight to voicemail.

Y/N’s chest tightened, a bitter, hollow knot forming where her heart was. He knew. He knew she was in pain. He knew she might need him. And yet, he didn’t pick up.

The doctor arrived, calm but quick. After an exam, he said, “We need to do an ultrasound and some blood work to see what’s going on.” Y/N tried to nod, but the cramping made her head spin.

The ultrasound screen flickered, and Y/N watched, confused and terrified, as the doctor’s expression stayed neutral but serious. “It looks like an early miscarriage,” he said gently. “You may not have even realized you were pregnant.”

Y/N froze. Her stomach sank, the pain now mingling with a heavy, hollow shock. She hadn’t known. She hadn’t expected this. Rebecca held her hand firmly, murmuring reassurances, while Carlos stayed by her side, quietly steady.

Through the haze of pain and disbelief, a slow, bitter clarity began to settle in. She had spent so much of herself trying to fit into a life that didn’t care about her. And now, in this moment of vulnerability, she realized she didn’t need anyone who ignored her needs. 

Because this, this was much more serious than all the important dates he'd forgotten or all the plans he had canceled.

She sat in her hospital bed as she waited for Rebecca and Carlos to return from fetching her suitcase at the hotel room she shared with Lando.

She told the couple she didn't want to go back and they went to grab her stuff without asking her any questions. She told herself she would grab the rest of her stuff from the apartment in Surrey when she felt better.

When Lando arrived back to the hotel with Oscar's aid, he paid no attention to the the missing belongings of his girlfriend- or the fact that the girlfriend in question wasn't even in the room. He was too gone to notice anything.

He didn't even need to be drunk to overlook his girlfriend.

He just always assumed she'd be there.

So, when he woke up the next morning with a raging hang over, he was shocked to find her side of the bed empty. He quickly glanced around the room and noticed her belongings were missing. In a hurry, he grabbed his phone from the nightstand, finding missed calls from Rebecca and Carlos.

Nothing from her.

He called her but it went straight to voicemail. He called Carlos, impatiently waiting for the Spaniard to pick up.

He hurriedly spoke when he heard an accented "hello" from the other end of the phone. "Carlos, where's Y/N? You and Rebecca both called me last night but I was too drunk." Lando explained, just slight panic in his voice.

The man on the other end of the phone loudly sighed before speaking. "Look man, you really fucked up this time." Carlos wearily said.

"What? What do you mean mate?" Lando asked bewilderedly.

He heard Rebecca's voice in the background but he was unable to make out what she was saying.

The Spaniard sighed once more before explaning. "This goes beyond me. Sorry. " He simply stated before hanging up.

Lando sat there in utter confusion, trying to process what had just happened. Suddenly, he remembered to check her location. He remembered that she had shared hers "just in case" when they first began dating.

Lando hadn't ever bothered to check it- or share his own.

When he clicked on the app, he realized it said "no location found".

"Fuck!" He frustratedly yelled as he slammed his phone on the soft mattress.

Unexpectedly, he felt his phone vibrate. He quickly picked it up, hoping it was a message from her. And he was right. She had finally texted him.

"I am fine. I need space." The text read.

The man that had been worried just moments ago scoffed in annoyance as he slammed his phone on the mattress once again, not even bothering to question her whereabouts or even respond to the message at all.

He ignored the small panic he felt. After all, she had never done something like this.

Not when he forgot their anniversary.

Not when he was hours late to the family dinners.

Not when he couldn't even bother to show up to the birthday party their friends had planned for the girl on time.

She will come back, surely. He thought as he got up from the bed.

A week had passed since the day Y/N told him she needed space. She was devastated but not surprised at the fact the man hadn't even bothered to send her a single message.

She began to wonder if she was really that worthless in his eyes.

Her mind drifted off to the words of the doctor, "It seems like you've been pushing yourself too hard, physically and mentally. Your iron levels are very low as well as your blood sugar. You need to be extra careful to recover well."

She took a deep breath as she put her hand over her stomach, her grip tightening around the lose fabric of her shirt.

She promised to change.

She promised she wouldn't allow him to walk all over her ever again.

It had been three weeks since the British man had heard from his girlfriend. Each day, he convinced himself she would come any moment now. He'd even texted her and called her multiple times. She hadn't even bothered to respond.

Oh how the tables had turned.

He put his phone down with a sigh as he glanced around the room. The gala was bussing with chatter and the soft clinking of glasses. Suddenly, he saw Rebecca and Carlos enter.

This is my opportunity to get information about her. He thought excitedly.

His excitement was cut short as his breath hitched at the sight in front of him.

Y/N walked into the room, alone.

The red dress hugged her in all the right places, bold and elegant. Every step was controlled, every movement deliberate. Her hair fell perfectly around her shoulders, lips painted just enough to catch the light without asking for attention. Her eyes scanned the room with calm confidence, and it was impossible not to notice.

The whispers followed immediately.

"She came separate from Lando?" someone murmured.

"I've never seen her so confident." another added.

She held her head high as she followed Carlos and Rebecca's path, stopping to chat with friends on the way.

Lando couldn't believe it.

How could she ghost him and come here acting as if he never existed to began with?

He wanted to approach her and ask her all the questions that had been eating at him for the past few weeks.

But he didn't.

The man couldn't risk his image. How could he approach her when he had never had to before?

So, the stolen glances would have to do.

Because he couldn't jeopardize his ego.

Like always.

Lando would never look at gossip pages. He deemed himself above that.

Unfortunately for him, social media caught on fast. Short videos, photos, and candid clips were uploaded and shared.

“Y/N in red alone. Finally letting go?” one caption read. “She looks untouchable. Lando, are you seeing this?” another tagged him. “Glow-up of the year. Independent. #RedDressQueen” began trending within the hour. Comments poured in. Some celebrated her confidence, others bashed her for no apparent reason.

Did she always receive so much hate? He wondered as he began searching the gossip pages for her.

He came across a photo of Y/N behind him, looking a bit uncertain as she walked behind him. He clicked on the comments.

“She’s literally trailing behind him like a lost puppy… he doesn’t even want her lol.”

“Poor girl, can’t believe she thinks he’s into her still.”

“Why is she even there? He’s clearly over it.”

“She needs to get herself together, honestly. This is embarrassing, even for her."

“Someone tell her he doesn’t want her lol, this is sad.”

A sinking feeling settled into his stomach. Did she really think he didn't want her? Surely, there has to be good things about our relationship on these pages. He thought as he scrolled down further.

He came across a photo from the surprise birthday party their friends had planned for her. In the picture she was wiping a tear away as her friends were trying to comfort her.

"He’s late again? She’s crying and he can’t be bothered. Pathetic.”

“Someone needs to tell her he doesn’t care about her feelings at all.”

“LOL typical. He’s probably somewhere flirting while she’s sitting there crying.”

“She’s so dumb for staying with him after all this.”

“Can’t believe she thought he’d actually show up. Embarrassing.”

He froze, thumb hovering over the screen. Each comment was a sting, a mirror reflecting what he had ignored for weeks, months, even years.

He forced himself to scroll further. This time he came across a photo from the Silverstone Grand Prix, Y/N was holding her stomach, her expression clearly pained as Lando smiled at something someone around them was saying.

“He’s laughing while she looks like she’s in pain… wow, cold."

"She's clearly faking it... talk about an attention seeking whore."

"Her expression describes how Lando feels when he has to be with her, lol."

"Literally when does she look happy around him?"

His breath hitched as he read the last comment. Was she unhappy in their relationship? There was no way. She would never complain about anything.

He forced himself to scroll further, each swipe feeling heavier than the last. More photos, more clips, all framed the same story: her in discomfort, overlooked, ignored. Lando’s chest tightened.

Comments scrolled endlessly:

“She’s holding in her pain while he laughs… unreal.”

“She’s way too patient for someone who treats her like this.”

“He doesn’t even notice she’s suffering. She’s a ghost to him.”

“How is she still with him? She deserves better.”

His stomach knotted as he read each one. They were strangers, yes, but their words rang painfully true. He had been blind. She had been hurting, and he hadn’t even seen it.

For the first time, he realized the truth he had spent weeks ignoring: she wasn’t just upset about small things-she had been struggling, and he had been absent. His phone buzzed with notifications, all tagged with her name, showing more posts of her walking alone, laughing with friends, glowing in ways he had never noticed before.

The weight of it hit him: she had moved on emotionally. She didn’t need him, and for weeks, she had been living her life without waiting for him to realize what he had lost. Lando scrolled past another photo, her in that red dress, standing tall, untouchable. Comments celebrated her independence, every tag reminded him how far she had come without him.

And he knew, with a sinking certainty, that nothing he could do now would undo it because years of damage couldn't be undone so easily.

a/n: i hope you guys enjoy this part. feel free to let me know any suggestions or ideas. i publish the moment i finish writing so i am open to ideas about upcoming parts!

[four-big-guys]

The Crack in My Shell is Clark Kent

CW: reader has cracky ass joints, clark is nosy, reader is miserable and a lil negative, cryptic thoughts, reader has paranoia, gn reader, reader has a personality

Clark Kent x Reader

Summary: clark wants to help you with your joint pain.. the problem? you won't let him in.

crack-crack... crack

He didn't even mean to hear it, I mean- you were all the way across the office, typing away, minding your own business. Definitely not because you were desperately trying to finish your piece before Perry's fuckass deadline. Yikes. (you finish, you always do)

Alas, he heard it, and his head shot up, it definitely came from your desk. Your face was slightly scrunched up, as you looked down to your ankles, grumbling a quiet, "why did that one hurt?"

Clark couldn't say anything, because hearing something like that would require super-hearing.. which he does not have... It would be even more conspicuous because your desk was all the way on the other side of Lois's and closer to Cat's. So with a quiet sigh he turned back to his work.

It happened a concerning amount of times after that. It was like your knuckles reset every two minutes. (they didn't, but it sure as hell felt like it did) Each crack had Clark glancing over to make sure nothing broke.

He was finally able to mention it when you came over to hand him a piece of your writing. Your article happened to be an important piece for his article, which happens more often than you'd think among journalism. You placed a manilla folder on his desk before speaking,

"I figured you'd be able to use this in your piece."

Clark turned from his computer and looked up at you through his glasses somehow maintaining his golden retriever resting face, a kind and inviting look. One that you wouldn't fall for. 'He's too innocent, it's definitely calculated,' you'd think.

You idly cracked your knuckles as you awaited his response. Cracking them forward and backward, then cracking the joints just under your nails, and then you wring your hands. Each movement had your wrists and fingers cracking as you watched him examine the file.

His attention was taken from the file as he hears your cracks up and close. He looks up at you, those baby blues ever concerned, "do your joints always crack like that?" He questions softly, soft enough to make you sigh. He wasn't interrogating, but with you, any question is a personal attack on your life.

You wrinkle your nose at the question. 'Why does he care? Not like he's gonna do anything about it.' You think to yourself. "Uh, I guess they do." You answer carefully. Clark gives you a look- a mixture of concern, sympathy, and the need to do something more, swirling in those crystal blues. He wanted to help, but he knows you'd get irritated if he tried.

"Well thank you," he suddenly remembers and turns to you, "for the piece." He clarifies, gesturing to it with his huge hand, and he gives you that stupid smile- the one that makes your heart thump and decreases your sanity. You just hum in acknowledgement and turn on your heel, getting irritated already.

Maybe its the constant cracking, or the pain in your joints that occasionally comes to bite your ass that made you so irritable. Maybe it's how many times you've been stabbed in the back by someone you thought was nice. Either way, a smile is rare to come from you and trust is given to none. A lonely life that you lead with nobody in your corner but yourself.

That might be why Clark pisses you off so much. He's just so kind, and he's so kind it comes to a fault. It makes you feel a little more shitty because you know you're not that kind anymore- maybe he does genuinely want to help, it's not like you could find a reason for him to betray you. Either way, you prefer not to take that chance so it doesn't really matter to you if he is a rarity in humanity or not.

Maybe that's why Superman also rubs you the wrong way, as much as you respect him for his efforts, he has that same way of irritating you as Clark does.

They're kind-of similar, now that you think about it...

You stop yourself there, you can't waste time thinking about things you don't care about. You sit down at your desk and huff before checking the time and getting back to work. You're going to have the worst wrist pain later, the thought alone makes you close your eyes for a moment.

Stupid, stupid Clark Kent. You've decided he's trouble. Small town farm-boy trouble is what he is. He's annoying and he's going to hurt you when you let your guard down.

You choose to ignore those thoughts for sake of focusing on your work. Secondly, because you feel bad thinking about him like this, he hasn't really done anything to you that would warrant these thoughts.

Clark sees past your uncongenial nature, you don't hate him, you're just guarded. A little too guarded, but Clark is patient if not kind. He knows that deep down you like it when he's kind. Your heartbeat gives it away. Not that you know he knows, as far as you know, you're being slick with your little reactions.

You just need time, and time is what Clark can give you.

i was gonne make this a oneshot then decided the start was too shitty so now it needs multiple parts to become good writing

idk i hope this suffices i just wanted to post something- anything, perchance be nice with criticism <3

DC MASTERLIST | PART 2

[edwardhartenjoyer]

As requested by @blackmoonlilith15

I Need A Boyfriend

Summary: Someone overhears you complaining about how you don't have a boyfriend. It gets back to the ghoul of your interest and he has a way to fix your problem..

Featuring: Taiga | Lyca | Haku | Edward | Rui | Sho

Taiga Hoshibami - Taiga had been playing at one of the tables when he overheard some of Romeo's goons talking about how they'd heard you complaining about wanting a boyfriend.

"Heard MC complaining to that dumb blonde who comes here all the time about how they want a boyfriend."

"Hey, if they want a boyfriend, I could give them one."

Both goons laughed, at least until one of them suddenly felt a gun pressed against his head.

"Touch my Kitty Cat and your brains are all over the walls." Taiga growled softly.

"Y-yes, sir!" The goons yelped before rushing off.

Taiga watched them go, scratching at the side of his head with his gun. Huh, guess he was going to have to fix this situation.

He broke into the cathedral and sat on your bed waiting for you.

When you walked into your room at the end of the day, you were startled to see him waiting for you.

"Kitty Cat!" Taiga greeted happily, coming over to pull you into his arms, making you yelp out in surprise. "The fuck is this I hear about you wanting a boyfriend?" He huffed, his mood suddenly flipping.

"W-what?!" You asked, startled.

"Maybe I haven't made myself clear. You're my Kitten." He growled.

You shivered and slowly nodded. "Yeah, okay, I'll be your Kitten." You replied softly. You felt his grin against your skin.

"Good Kitty."

Lyca Colt - Lyca frowned as he walked into Rui's bar.

"Gigalo! I want answers." He huffed, marching up to Rui.

"Answers to what?" Rui asked, turning to look at Lyca.

"Why were a bunch of students talking about MC wanting a boyfriend?!" Lyca huffed, crossing his arms with a frown.

"What?! Well why didn't they tell me, I'd offer!" Rui lamented, making Lyca growl.

"Don't you dare Gigalo!!"

"Oh? Jealous? Do you want to date them?" Rui asked, grinning conspiratorally at the werewolf.

"What? I don't...I just don't want them to be with anyone but me!" Lyca huffed.

"That's pretty much the definition of wanting to date them."

"Fine, then yes, I want to date MC!" Lyca shouted, throwing his hands up in defeat.

"You do?" You asked softly, having walked into the bar not long into their conversation. Lyca flushed as he turned to look at you.

"Yeah, I do." He mumbled, looking away. You walked up and gently cupped his cheek, turning his face back to yours.

"I'd love to date you, Lyca." You said softly, smiling at him. He flushed more and smiled back at you, his tail wagging happily behind him.

Haku Kusanagi - You were walking through the campus with Haku, on your ways to Hotarubi to go study, when a general student came up to you to stop you.

"Hey MC, I heard you were wanting a boyfriend. I'm just saying I'm available." The student winked at you. You laughed nervously.

"Woah, you hesrd wrong then, they're very taken." Haku replied for you, wrapping an arm around you. The student got the message and left.

"Thank you for that." You sighed in relief, turning to look at Haku.

"I'm hurt Princess, you've been wanting a boyfriend when I'm right here." He pouted, faling a look of hurt as he pressed his hand to his chest.

You laughed softly. "Well, if you're still willing, the role is open." You flirted. He grinned brightly at you.

"Princess, I never thought you'd ask."

Edward Hart - "Rui, if I have to maybe die, then I don't want to die with regrets." You lamented, head resting down against the blonde's bartop.

"What would you regret Cutie?" Rui asked gently.

"I want a boyfriend." You sighed. "I've never had one, not a true real one anyways, and if I maybe gotta die, then I want a boyfriend first."

"I'm sure you'll find one unless he's in front of you already?"

You laughed softly and shook your head. "Sorry, Rui, no. I already have my heart set on someone else." You explained.

You spent a while longer chatting with the friendly bartender before you decided to take your leave. As you walked outside of the dorm, a voice startled you.

"Walking home alone, my dear?" Ed asked, and you turned to look at him, flashing him a smile.

"Hi Ed. Yeah, I usually do have to walk home alone unless you're offering." You teased.

"Alas, no, I'm far too weak to make that walk." He lamented, coughing fakely to make his point. "But you could always stay."

"Yeah, I guess you guys do have all those spare rooms."

"I didn't mean the spare rooms. I meant you could stay with me in my room." He purred, moving closer to you. You blushed, watching him with wide eyes. "I heard your little conversation with Rui earlier. I could always satisfy your need."

"Oh? And what need is that?" You asked, though your voice was no where near as confident as you wanted it to be.

"All of them." He purred, pulling you into a kiss that you gladly reciprocated.

Rui Mizuki - Rui was on one of his rare trips outside of Obscuary. He was trying to rush back to his dorm when he paused, overhearing a conversation between a couple of general students.

"Heard MC was looking for a boyfriend."

"Really, thought they were into that reaper guy?"

"Guess not. If they're looking for a date, I can give them one."

Rui stood there for a moment, trying to process everything he just overheard. He turned suddenly, and made his way in a mad dash towards the cathedral. When he got there he started knocking on the door and texting you in a rush.

"Rui?" You asked, coming up behind him, looking surprised to find him standing outside your home.

"Cutie! I was looking for you." Rui explaimed, turning to smile at you. "I overheard an interesting conversation today, and it reminded me I had to ask you this very important question." He rambled quickly.

You smiled softly at him. "What did you want to ask me then?"

"Would you want to go on a date with me? For real. It can't be anywhere fancy because curse and all, but I can make us up a real nice picnic or whatever you want." He explained.

Your smile grew wider. "I'd love that, Rui."

Sho Haizono - Sho was making his way back to Vagastrom after a shift in his food truck, and he paused as he noticed Leo staring at his phone with that look that he knew meant he was going to have to step in soon.

"Alright, what have you gotten yourself into now?" Sho sighed, coming over to look over Leo's shoulder.

"Tch, just doing my diligence of spreading some gossip. Our poor honor students been whining about wanting a boyfriend." Leo laughed, showing Sho the gossip thred on his phone.

Sho's jaw clenched and he turned to walk off. Leo raised a brow.

"Fuck got into you?" Leo called, but Sho didn't respond, simply walking back out of the dorm.

Sho didn't stop walking until he was outside of the cathedral, knocking on your door.

You opened the door and smiled when you saw him. "Hey Sho, what did you need?"

"To ask you on a date." Sho replied, leaning on the doorway, flashing you a smirk. "You, me, Bonnie, and a ride through town making any stops you want."

You blushed, your smile growing wider. "I'd love that."

"Great, I'll come back to pick you up tonight."

~ ~ ~ ~

Tag list: @cloudcountry @ash0-0ley @tinumaru @fandom-maniac111 @sh0jun @ventisimpilysm @towasdaffodil @night-daily @im-no-mechanic-but @lunardragon06

Wanna be added or removed? Let me know!

[bullet-prooflove]

Influence: Logan Howelett x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @misscrissfemmefatale @reidsworld @all-by-myself98

Companion piece to:

Rumours - Sometimes rumours aren’t just rumours.

Summer - No one knows what Logan gets up to during the summer break.

Love Bites - Logan's healing factor can sometimes be a curse.

Autumn - Logan realises he's falling in love.

Logan’s Song - Logan loves listening to the sound of your voice.

Moments (NSFW) - Logan realises what's missing from Westchester.

Cornflower Blue - Logan returns to Alberta during the autumn break.

Logan has always known you were special, he’s just never been able to put his finger on why. There have been countless women over the years who’ve crossed his path but no one has ever been able to ensnare him like you have. He was celibate for fifty years before you came along and now every summer is like a marathon, a relentless crusade to ruin you before he returns to Westchester.

It must be the music, he thinks one night as he sits in the bar where you first met. The way you wield a fiddle, it’s a weapon in your skilled hands. The bustling highs, the haunting lows, they conjure memories and feelings, things he hasn’t felt or thought in years. At the end of it all there’s a catharsis, a relief that he’s never found anywhere else.

“I think she might be one of us.” He finds himself telling Charles when he gets back from Alberta. It’s taken him three years to make this realisation and the thought of it is like a knife being plunged into his chest, scraping over every single one of his ribs as it cuts him open. “I don’t even think she knows she’s doing it. The problem is I can’t tell if it’s real or not, if what I feel…” He trails off, his palm rubbing over the nape of his neck. “I just don’t know.”

“It sounds like nostalgia.” Charles tells him, reaching for the crystal decanter that rests on the sideboard in his office. He takes his time pouring the amber liquid into two glasses. “People who have that power, it’s usually occurs within their immediate vicinity. Once the music stops…”

“The feelings go away.” Logan summarises, rubbing his palms together in agitation. “The problem is they’re not going away. I think about her all the time, it’s like every finite detail is etched into my mind and I just can’t seem to shake it.”

“So you want to find out if she’s done something to you?” Charles asks half amused, sipping from his own glass as Logan leaves his untouched. “If she’s bewitched you?”

“I’m literally a walking weapon, if someone’s found a way to control me…”

The consequences would be catastrophic. It’s his biggest fear, having his autonomy stripped away, hurting the ones he loves. He needs to know if someone has that power over him, if they can activate him like some fucked up sleeper agent.

“Alright.” Charles says, setting down his glass on the desk. “Let me take a look.”

Logan closes his eyes as Charles’s fingertips come to rest upon his temples, the connection bursting to life. It’s an odd sensation having someone rifling through your mind, like fingers flicking through the paperwork in a filing cabinet. Each file is a memory that plays like snapshots from a video. The warm sensation that blossoms in his chest as he watches you draw tiny stars in the condensation that fogs up the window. The way you feel tucked in safely against his body as he listens to the rhythm of your breathing in the darkness. Your fingers running through his hair, tugging just right as he teeters in the precipice of release…

He snaps back to reality as Charles pulls away, the room rushing back into focus.

“Logan.” Charles says kindly, the edges of his mouth tipping up into a smile. “You’re not bewitched or under someone’s influence. You’re in love.”

Love Logan? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[helloalycia]

𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐀𝐋 [𝐓𝐖𝐎] — 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑

one / masterlist / wattpad

summary: despite being 'over' each other, jackie still finds a way to ruin your new relationship.

warning/s: again, just jackie being her closeted self.

author's note: and here’s the second and final part! this one was fun to write even tho it took me forever to finish (and i definitely didn’t know how to end it lol), but i love jealous jackie

Lottie's parents were never home, which was extremely unfortunate except in the instance she wanted to throw a house party. Then, it was kind of perfect. 

Putting it simply, she was rich which meant her home was big enough to house the whole school. Actually, I could bet my life most of the school was here tonight. Whether they were or not, I didn't care as my only focus was on Lauren, who I'd brought as my plus one. 

It was fun to just unwind, hang out with my friends and my girlfriend and not think about school or soccer or anything else. Maybe that was why it was too good to be true. 

About an hour in, Lauren and I were sat in of the spare rooms, needing some peace from the loud music and even louder guests. Admittedly, it started off as us chatting and her getting a little tipsy, which then turned into a heated make-out session on the couch. 

Lauren was practically on top of me as we made out, and it probably would have gone further if the door didn't suddenly burst open, startling us apart. Catching our breath, we both looked to the door to see who had interrupted and my heart sank a little when I saw it was Jackie. She was taken aback, looking between us both, and I realised how compromising our position looked. 

"Sorry," she blurted, finding her words and averting her conflicted gaze. "Was looking for Jeff." 

Neither Lauren and I had chance to respond before she left, closing the door behind her. I swallowed thickly, hating how awkward and mildly guilty I felt that Jackie had walked in like she had. It looked like Lauren and I were about to have sex, which wasn't a problem, but it only reminded me that Jackie and I never did. We'd waited and she'd wanted it to be special, but we never did. And now it looked like I'd moved on. 

Which I had, of course, but it felt an awful lot like I was rubbing it in her face, and for once I wasn't. 

My head was mush as I looked to Lauren, who didn't know what to do, still flustered from the kissing and being walked in on. 

"I should check on her," I said quickly. "See what's up. Sorry." 

Lauren's gaze flickered to me, unreadable, before she nodded. "Sure." 

Without wasting another second, I left the room and walked down the hall, pushing past drunken guests and in search of Jackie's familiar blonde hair. I caught her just as she was on the last step of the stairs, going down, and chased after her.

"Hey," I said over the music, stopping before her, aware that I wasn't thinking straight. 

Her cheeks were flushed as she forced herself to look at me with indifference. "Hi." 

My heart was racing, no doubt a consequence of the situation. "That wasn't what it– we were just kissing," I felt the need to explain.

"Do what you want with your girlfriend, it's none of my business," she spoke through gritted teeth, but she looked hurt. 

"I know, but–"

"But what?" she snapped. "Make out with her, feel her up, have fucking sex, I don't care. All things your last girlfriend couldn't give you, right?" 

Her eyes were watering as she studied my expression and my heart ached, for several reasons. How could she say that when she'd ended things before it could go anywhere? 

"I didn't break up with my last girlfriend, remember?" I said gently, a frown on my lips. 

This only seemed to rile her up further as her glare hardened and she looked like she was about to unleash more yelling, but then her eyes flickered behind me, distracted. Curious, I looked too, eyebrows raising as I saw Jeff making out with some girl, the two of them clearly drunk out of their minds as they could barely connect lips for long enough. 

I looked back to Jackie, feeling even worse for her despite our predicament. "Jackie–"

"Speaking of breaking up," she muttered angrily before shoving past me to approach Jeff. 

I sighed deeply, unsure why I still cared so much. And then I heard the yelling behind me and knew it wasn't worth staying to watch. 

When I returned to Lauren, who was where I'd left her, though drinking from a bottle of water, I offered an apologetic smile. 

"She good?" she asked when I sat beside her, and I couldn't tell what she was thinking. 

I nodded. "Yeah. Sorry about that. She's my teammate and I just... yeah." 

She shrugged, not meeting my eyes. A pause, and then, "Can you take me home?" 

Worried I'd upset her, I straightened up. "What? Why?" 

"I'm just tired," she said, before glancing at me. "Too much to drink." 

I frowned, nodding. "Yeah. Sure. C'mon." 

The two of us left Lottie's in an uncomfortable silence, the drive back to hers just as awkward. I wasn't sure if it was because she was drunk or if it was something I'd done, but it didn't feel right. And admittedly, I was also still distracted by my conversation with Jackie. 

Once we reached Lauren's, I guided her out the car and walked her to her front door to say goodnight and hopefully clear this tension between us. But before I could speak, she did. 

"The girl you were with last," she started quietly, eyes flickering to mine, "it was Jackie, wasn't it?" 

My eyes widened slightly. "What?" 

Lauren knew of my last relationship and loosely of the way it had ended, but I'd never told her who it was with, out of respect for Jackie not wanting to come out. 

She smiled sadly. "It's okay, I won't tell anyone. But I'm not blind."

Panic growing, I asked, "What do you mean?" 

She looked down at her feet. "Jackie still cares about you, Y/N. At first, I thought it was the overprotective friend or team captain that cares too much. But you aren't friends and it's more than a team captain looking out for her players. It's jealousy." 

I swallowed thickly, unsure what to say or how to even defend myself. 

Her eyes met mine disappointedly as she continued. "You care about her, too." 

"It's not like that," I spluttered. "It's–"

"It is like that," she interrupted. "You still care about her. Not to discredit your feelings for me, but they're stronger with Jackie. Otherwise you wouldn't care so much about her, about what she thinks, or get so annoyed by her remarks." 

I frowned, guilt pressing down on my chest. Maybe she had a point, one I was too afraid to admit, but I didn't want it to be like that. I didn't want to care about Jackie at all. 

Lauren sighed quietly. "I don't want to be competing." 

I shook my head quickly, stepping forward and reaching for her hands. "It's not a competition." 

"It is," she retorted, pulling her hands back. "But I don't want to play." 

Every part of me was panicking at what she was implying, expecting the worst. Tears pricked my eyes as I studied her expression. 

"I'm sorry," she muttered, frowning, "but you should sort your shit out. It's not fair on whoever is with you." 

Her words were like a stab to the heart, and she only sealed the deal when she kissed my cheek softly. 

"Please," I pleaded, searching her gaze. "It's not like that. With Jackie, it's– it's not like that." 

She ignored me as she took a step back. "I'll see you around, Y/N." 

"Lauren," I said, her name barely coming out as a whisper, tear rolling down my cheek. 

She didn't look back as she let herself into her house and closed the door. I stood there for a moment, in disbelief at how quickly she'd ended things. Contrary to belief, I did care about her, so much. 

Returning to my car, my cheeks were hot as tears streamed down them. How had I lost her so quickly?

—

The remainder of my weekend was spent sulking and mourning the end of my relationship. All I could seem to do was replay that night over and over in my head, as if I could somehow magically change the outcome. 

I still couldn't believe it, but I also knew there was some truth to Lauren's words. Maybe Jackie was still haunting me whether I liked it or not. Still, it wasn't something I wanted to think about when it was much easier to be sad instead. 

My mood must've been very obvious since Van cornered me at school, demanding to know why I was so upset. Without telling her the specifics about Jackie, simply that Lauren had broken up with me, she seemed to understand and I at least had someone to share everything with. 

It certainly didn't help the situation when we walked past Jackie in the hallway. She was giggling with Jeff, the two of them holding hands by his locker as if his cheating had no impact on their relationship. 

For the first time, I let myself be infuriated by it. It wasn't fair. Why did she get everything and I was still left with nothing? Why did I have to get my heart broken repeatedly and she got her happily ever after? 

Whatever the reason, it stung just as much as the breakup, but I tried to ignore it as I went through the week in a haze, trying not to miss Lauren. 

Soccer practice was on Thursday though, and clearly my mood wasn't the best which meant my performance was subpar at most. I knew it, but there was only so much I could do about it when I just wanted to go home and curl up in my bed. If Van hadn't convinced me to go, I was prepared to pull the sick card. 

Of course, it wouldn't be the shittiest week of my life if Jackie didn't notice how poor I was playing and decide to comment on it. 

We were in the middle of a scrimmage, myself playing as a defender, when Shauna managed to dribble the ball right past me and score a goal. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't the third goal her team had scored at my fault. 

I sighed and rubbed my face with frustration, internally scolding myself for messing up yet again. 

"What the hell was that?" Jackie's voice shouted from behind me, and I groaned inwardly before turning around to see her storming towards me. "That's the third time, Y/N!" 

Definitely not in the mood to argue, I gave in with a nod. "I know, I know. I'm sorry." 

"You gonna say sorry when the other team slip past your defences in the real game?" she asked with raised brows, not holding back in the slightest, no doubt a continuation of her frustrations from the party. "You think that'll change anything?" 

"Jackie, she knows," Lottie stepped in, as the other girls took notice of her scolding. "We're practicing for a reason, yeah?" 

Jackie scoffed as she glared at me. "You need to lift your eyes from your shoes and pay attention. Shauna shouldn't be able to cut past three times." 

Her annoyances were clearly much more than the given situation, as they had been for months now, but I truly had no energy to fight back.

"You're right," I said with a halfhearted nod. "I'll do better." 

Her eyes flickered with confusion, scanning my expression for some hint of retaliation. "What?"

"Give her a break, Jackie, she's working on it," Van intervened, jogging up from behind me. "She's got a lot on her plate right now, okay?" 

I glanced at Van with an expression that screamed for her to be quiet. The last thing I needed was Jackie being all up in my business about my break up. 

"I don't care what's on her plate," Jackie retorted to Van, before fixing me with a disapproving stare, "it's separate from the game." 

Van smiled bitterly. "When you break up with Jeff, everyone hears about it. Is she not allowed to be upset once because she's going through a breakup?" 

"Van!" I interrupted in a warning voice, shooting her a glare. 

Jackie hesitated, hazel eyes flashing with surprise before meeting mine. Her volume lowered as she spluttered, "I didn't know that. You- you're- you broke up?" 

"It doesn't matter," I said firmly, hating the direction this conversation had taken. "I'll play better. Just- just go." 

She paused, as if to say something, before finally nodding and returning to her side of the pitch. The girls watching did the same and Van patted me on the back apologetically before returning to the goal. 

The only upside to that whole thing was Jackie finally laid off for the rest of practice. I played somewhat better but still terribly, my head just not in it at all, and the other team still won. 

Just when I thought I could finally escape and go home once practice ended, I was mistaken. As I was walking back to my car after showering and changing, I felt a presence beside me and groaned at the sight of Jackie catching up to me. 

"I'm not in the mood," I said bluntly. "I'm sorry I was playing shitty, I'll do better next time." 

"No, no, it's not that," she said quickly, shaking her head. "It's just– I'm sorry for being rude to you." 

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, her apology meaning nothing to me, but then she stood in front of me, stopping me from walking. 

"Y/N, I'm sorry," she repeated softly, eyes searching for mine. 

I sighed quietly, looking to her. "It's whatever." 

"I didn't know you and Lauren broke up," she tried to explain, which actually did make me roll my eyes. 

"And what? If you had, you'd have been nicer?" I asked with raised brows. "Let's not lie." 

She frowned, looking down, knowing I was right. After a moment, she asked, "Was it mutual? Or, erm, who–" 

"She broke up with me," I snapped, my irritation returning. "Happy now?" 

It might have been a little unfair to take it out on her, but I couldn't help it, not when everything was still so fresh. It was her fault. Mine too, but it was easier to blame her when everything she did seemed to infuriate me lately. 

"No," she responded quietly, eyes flickering between mine apologetically. 

I rolled my eyes and pushed past her without saying another word, afraid I'd say something I'd regret if I entertained her any longer. Thankfully, she didn't follow. 

—

I'd like to say I got over Lauren quite easily and soon forgot all about her, but it wasn't that easy. I was getting there – at least to a point where I was no longer crying whenever I thought about her – but I did miss her sometimes. 

A month later, it was the last game of the season and the Yellowjackets were playing none other than the Cubs AKA our rival team AKA Lauren's school. It didn't bother me, not at all, not even when I knew there would be a chance I'd see her at the game...

...but then I saw her in the stands and she was holding another girl's hand and I soon realised she'd moved on. She looked happy and I was happy for her, but it still stung to see her with someone new. I was getting over her, but seeing your replacement was never fun. 

Despite this, I was determined not to let it bother me, nor let it hinder my soccer abilities. So, with that lovely sight behind me, I put my all into the game. 

Luckily for us, it was an easy win, with the Yellowjackets taking a two nil advantage. We were all over the moon, already talking about how insane the after party would be, but admittedly, I was still a little bummed out. The thought of attending, knowing Lauren and her new girlfriend would be there, was off-putting to say the least. 

So, after getting changed after the game, Van stopped by my car with me in the parking lot. 

"See you later, yeah?" she asked with a grin, still buzzing with excitement from our win. 

I scrunched my nose. "Yeah, about that... I don't think I'm gonna go." 

Her grin was replaced with a frown. "Why not? We won, Y/L/N!" 

"I know, I know, it's just–" I sighed awkwardly. "Lauren's gonna be there." 

Van quirked a brow. "So?" 

"With her new girlfriend," I added. "She's clearly moved on and I guess I have too, but I'm not in the mood to see it, y'know?" 

Van's expression softened. "I understand. But you shouldn't let her ruin your celebration."

I shrugged uncomfortably. "It's okay. I'd rather just stay home." 

Van nodded. "Right. Well... I can stay home with you if you want the company. We can rent some movies, get some snacks." 

I smiled at her offer. "It's okay, Van, you go celebrate. Tai wants you there." 

"You sure? I don't mind and Tai will get over it," she pointed out. 

"I'm sure," I said with a knowing look. "You go. Tell me all about it tomorrow." 

She nodded before pulling me in for a hug. "Alright. Don't sulk for too long." 

At this, I shoved her away and she laughed at my dismay. A ghost of a smile was on my lips as I flipped her off before getting in my car. 

Staying home was definitely the right choice and surprisingly not a terrible one. I got some snacks and had some alone time playing video games which wasn't awful. 

Only, later that evening, I was still up playing in the living room and my parents were asleep upstairs when I heard a knock on the front door. I froze at first, unsure if I'd heard correctly, but then the knocking grew more incessant and impatient, frightening me because it was almost midnight and who the hell would be knocking at this time?! 

Naturally, I grabbed a baseball bat from under the stairs, knowing I needed to answer the door otherwise it would wake my parents, but also not stupid enough to go unarmed. With a deep breath, I approached my front door, unable to make out the silhouette in the glass, before yanking it open and raising my bat. 

"Who the hell–" I started, before my eyes widened with surprise. "Jackie?" 

She straightened up when she saw me, fist lowering from its knocking. "Y/N." 

I raised my brows, glancing up the staircase to make sure her loud knocking didn't wake my parents, before pushing her backwards and stepping outside, semi-closing the front door. 

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I whisper-shouted at her. "You're gonna wake my parents!" 

She exhaled, eyes meeting mine, twinkling and slightly dazed. A soft smile appeared on her lips and all she could say was, "Hi." 

I refrained from raising my voice as I repeated quietly, "What are you doing here?" I glanced around and didn't spot a car or anything. "How did you even get here? Weren't you at the party?" 

She nodded, moving her hair from her eyes. "I wanted to see you." 

I furrowed my brows. "You... what?" 

She swallowed thickly, trying to find her words, and that was when I took note of her inability to stand still, the breathlessness, the dilated pupils. 

"You're drunk," I said, my surprise deflating, like it all made sense. "And you've drank too much. Where's Shauna, Jackie?" 

"One of the baseball team guys gave me a ride," she explained, stumbling over her words. "I wanted to see you." 

Before I could say anything, she moved one of her hands from behind her back and held some terribly-picked flowers out towards me. My eyes narrowed as I studied them, seeing the soil still clinging to the roots and recognising the flowers themselves. 

"Wait, are those–" I stopped and looked behind her, where my mum's peonies were planted, my eyes widening when I saw the gap. "Did you just tear those from my mum's flowerbed?!" 

Cheeks flushing a deeper shade of pink, Jackie said, "I wanted to give you them." 

Frustration returning, I snatched the flowers from her hand and met her gaze firmly. "Jackie, what are you doing here?" 

Her eyes flickered between mine. "I've been a bitch, I know it. But I miss you." 

I couldn't help but scoff at her words. "You're drunk." 

"No," she blurted desperately, before shaking her head. "Well, yes, but I mean it." 

I rolled my eyes, not believing a word from her right now, not when she was like this. "Where's Shauna? I'll call her."

Her expression fell. "She's still at the party."

I groaned inwardly before pointing a finger at her. "Wait here. I'll drop you off home." 

"No, Y/N, wait-" she started, but I ignored her and stepped back inside to grab the car keys. 

After listening out once more to make sure my parents weren't awake, I pulled on my shoes, grabbed a jacket and left. Hopefully I could be back before they even realised I was gone. 

"C'mon," I said to Jackie, before walking past her and to my car. 

I heard her grumbling behind me but she did follow. Once we were in the car, I set off with the intention of taking her home in silence, but of course, Jackie couldn't have that. 

"You weren't there tonight," she said softly, and I could feel her eyes on me. 

I kept mine on the road. "I know." 

"I wanted you to be." 

I resisted the urge to scoff as I said nothing. How could she say that? How could she mean it? 

"I'm sorry," she spoke quietly. "I know your ex is with someone new." 

"Seems to be a pattern, I'll live," I mumbled bitterly. 

She fell quiet at that and I was glad for it. The rest of the drive was done in silence, my fingers gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly. Jackie's eyes kept glancing over to me, but I merely ignored her. 

When I pulled up outside of her house, I gave her a look that told her to go inside. 

"Please, I just want to talk," she tried once more, pleading. 

"It's late, Jackie," I reminded her, frustrated. "Just go." 

She sighed deeply before giving in and unbuckling her seatbelt. It took her a few tries, but I was insistent on letting her help herself. So, I sat there and clicked my jaw as she spent a whole minute untangling herself from the belt and searching for the door handle. She finally got it open, climbing out the car and tripping over the edge of the pavement in the process. I rolled my eyes as I watched her close the car door, but when she tried to leave, she was stuck. 

"For fuck's sake," I mumbled, noticing the end of her jacket was caught in the door. 

After turning off the engine, I climbed out and rounded the car, giving her a disapproving look. She straightened up slightly, guilty, but let me open the door and steady her before she fell over. 

"Jesus Christ, Jackie," I muttered, closing the door and locking the car. "C'mon." 

Keeping her upright, I led her down the pathway to her front door, wishing this night would end already. We finally reached her door and I was about to ask her for her keys, but she spoke first. 

"I'm sorry your relationship ended," she said in a way that wasn't sympathetic at all. 

"No, you're not," I called her out, narrowing my eyes.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'm not. But I...," she paused, expression softening, "I'm sorry you got hurt." 

"I don't care, Jackie." 

She didn't respond, only stared at me. I was ready to pat her down for her keys until she decided to speak again. 

"I'm still in love with you." 

I tensed my jaw. "You shouldn't say things you don't mean. You won't even remember this in the morning." 

"I will," she said with certainty, nodding. "I'm not that drunk." 

I sighed, a long heavy sigh, begging god to see the end of this conversation. 

"Please, listen," she tried again, taking my hand with shaky fingers. "I know I'm awful. I ended things because I was scared. I treated you horribly. I know that– I– I know that I don't deserve you, but I want you so bad." 

I blinked, taken aback by her trembling admission. What was she saying? Why was she saying it? Why did I truly wish she meant it? 

Before I could even think of how to reply, she suddenly kissed me. It was a mess of teeth and tongue and the remnants of beer and tobacco. It wasn't romantic or affectionate or anything of the sorts, but I'd missed it. I'd missed her. 

I almost kissed back, almost wanted to melt into her and pretend things were how they used to be, but then I remembered two things – she was drunk, and she was dating Jeff. 

"Jackie," I got out after pushing her back, looking between her dilated eyes. "Stop– you're– you're with Jeff." 

She shook her head, trying to lean in again. "I broke up with him last week." 

This caught me off guard. She'd broke up with him? 

Her lips found mine again and I couldn't seem to push her away. She was magnetic and I'd always been weak in the knees for her. Her hands found my jacket and tugged me close, and I closed my eyes for just a moment, but a clicking sound made us pull apart. The porch light turned on and then the front door was open, revealing Jackie's mother. 

My heart was racing as the older Taylor blinked tiredly, looking between us as if trying to make sense of our presence. Clearly she'd just woken up. 

"Sorry for the disturbance, Miss Taylor," I spoke, still in disbelief but trying to hide it. "I was just dropping Jackie off home from the party." 

Miss Taylor nodded, giving me a grateful smile. "Thank you, Y/N." And then her eyes fell to her daughter, disapproving. "In you come, Jackie." 

Jackie pressed her lips together, and I tried not to look at them as her saliva glistened under the porch light, a reminder of what we'd just done. She glanced at me, eyes unreadable, before going inside. I smiled at Miss Taylor once more before swallowing thickly as the door closed. 

What the hell just happened?

—

My thoughts were purely Jackie and what she'd said and what she did – what we did. I tried to get my mind off it the next day, doing homework in my room, but my conflicted heart was stuck on thoughts of the blonde who'd ruined my life. 

When the phone rang, I was relieved for the distraction, answering it instantly. "Hello?" 

"Y/N? It's Van." 

"Hey, Van, what's up?" I sighed, rubbing my forehead. 

"It's just us on the line?" she checked, careful. 

I furrowed my brows, confused. "Yeah, why?" 

A pause and then: "You dated Jackie?!"

My eyes widened slightly. "You– I– what?" 

"Jackie was super drunk last night, like suuuuper drunk," she explained. "She let it slip to the whole team. Going on about how you both dated for a whole year apparently?"

I opened and closed my mouth, speechless. Jackie had told everyone? She'd actually admitted it? Out loud? To other people? 

"You didn't think to tell your best friend?!" Van shouted, a mixture of surprise and excitement. "You hid it so well!" 

I scrunched my nose with awkwardness. "I know, I know. I–"

"Y/N!" my mum called from downstairs, cutting me off. Thank god for the interruption. 

"Mum's calling, gotta go," I said quickly. 

"No, wait–!" she tried to stop me, but I slammed the phone down with a breath of relief. I could deal with that later. 

If my brain wasn't mushed before, it certainly was now. Jackie had been so adamant on hiding her feelings and sexuality, but she'd told everyone... maybe she actually meant what she'd said to me last night? Maybe it wasn't just a drunken mistake? 

My mum called me again, so I forced myself up and out of my room, going downstairs. 

"Sorry, I was talking to Van," I said as I found her in the living room, only to stop when I saw Jackie sat on the couch. 

"Jackie's here to hang out," my mum said, before grabbing her keys from the table. "I'm getting groceries. You want anything?" 

I stood there awkwardly as Jackie offered me a small smile, leaving a funny feeling in my chest. "Er, no." 

My mum nodded before kissing the side of my head and leaving the house. I swallowed thickly as I looked over Jackie, making sure she was really there. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked, finding my voice. "How are you even here right now?" 

"I borrowed my mum's car," she said matter-of-factly, standing up. And when I quirked a brow, she added, "I can drive, I just choose not to." 

"Huh." 

Her confidence was replaced with a nervousness I didn't know she possessed. "Can we talk?" 

I nodded slightly, knowing it was definitely needed. She chewed her lip, collecting her thoughts, and took a seat on the couch again. As I watched, waiting patiently, I noticed her mild discomfort in the crease between her eyes. 

"Are you okay?" I asked, taking a seat beside her. 

She rubbed her head slightly. "Slight hangover. I'll live." 

My eyes traced her profile, hesitant. "Do you even remember last night?" 

Her eyes snapped to mine, determined. "Of course I do. That's why I'm here." 

"So you remember ripping my mum's plants out the ground and giving them to me?" 

"What?" 

I nodded. "Yep. She hasn't noticed yet. I'm hoping she won't." 

Jackie winced, pink dusting her cheeks. "Sorry..."

"Do you remember the party?" I asked, unable to look away from her. 

"What about it?" 

My expression softened as I braced myself for her reaction. "Van just called. Apparently you told the whole team we dated." 

Her eyes widened with surprise. "What?" 

I couldn't read if she was mad at herself for letting it slip or not. "Yeah. So, that's out." 

She looked ahead, swallowing hard. "I didn't remember that, but it makes sense..." 

I nodded, looking at the coffee table, unsure what to think. 

"I remember other things," she muttered, looking to me. "Like what I said to you." 

I glanced at her, frozen in place by her gaze. 

"I meant every word," she continued, eyes flickering between mine. "I'm truly sorry for everything, Y/N. For hurting you. For being such a bitch. For being too scared to be myself. But I don't care anymore – I miss you." She paused, sucking up a breath. "I'm sorry I told everyone, but I'm also glad I did. And I'm sorry I shared all of this with you whilst I was drunk. I planned to tell you in a better way, but it just happened." 

My heart was thrumming in my chest as her words settled, only confirming what I'd hoped she'd meant last night. This was a new side to her, a certain one. It was all I'd wanted her to be and it left me speechless. 

Her hands found mine. "You kissed me back. Right? I didn't imagine it?" 

I shook my head. "No, you didn't." 

She was trembling, hazel eyes searching mine. "Do you hate me?" she muttered, as if afraid of the answer. 

I looked at her hands, holding mine gently. "I really wanted to, but I couldn't. I was just... so hurt after you left." 

She frowned guiltily. "I'm sorry." 

I looked up, tilting my head. "I know you are." 

She didn't move, didn't speak, and the simple touch of her fingers against mine sent shivers down my spine. And then she cupped my cheek, so tender that I could've melted under her touch. 

"I'm asking for one more chance," she spoke quietly, desperately. "I won't mess it up this time." 

I tensed my jaw, hand resting on hers on my cheek. Was I a fool for giving in? I wasn't sure, but I only had my heart to follow, and right now it was yearning for Jackie Taylor. 

I nodded slowly, giving in. We had stuff we needed to work through, but I'd missed her more than I could admit. 

She began to smile, relieved, before her eyes flickered to my lips. I didn't waste a second as I pressed mine to hers, capturing her bottom lip between mine.

After all, we had lost time to make up for.

[girlswriter]

mel medarda x best friend! reader ⟢ smut

tw: body worshipping, internalized homophobia, breastplay, cunnilingus ( m!receiving ), both of them are subs ig but top!reader, mel is kinda dating jayce… so cheating?

you hated jayce. the way he looked at mel, touched her. he was so annoying, you never understood why your best friend liked him. why would she need him in her life if she had you? since childhood, you two were always together, sharing clothes, secrets, she even used to ask your opinion on some council problems… before jayce came into the picture. but who was kissing his girlfriend now, huh? fuck you, jayce.

you finally closed the distance between you two, bringing your lips to mel's in a soft, yet hungry kiss. you came to her room about ten minutes ago, rambling how you hated the fact that she was so distant now and you missed her, so when she placed a hand on your cheek, so gentle and soft.. well, you couldn't hold back anymore. your hands comes up to the back of her neck, holding her closer, afraid she would pull back. your eyes closes, titling your head slightly to have a better angle to deepen the kiss.

mel gasped softly as your lips met hers, the unexpected contact sending a jolt of electricity through her entire body, she wasn't sure what to do and how to react. for a moment, she froze, overwhelmed by the sensation of your mouth moving against hers. she never kissed a girl before.. she never thought she would. but she liked when you kissed her, how soft your lips felt on hers, that was different from jayce's. his kisses were more rough. her mind kept going back to the thought of jayce while literally making out with you. stupid. but then, as if a dam had broken, mel melted into the kiss, her arms wrapping around your waist to pull you even closer. when your tongue entered her mouth she forgot about her shitty ( in your opinion ) boyfriend.

your senses were overwhelmed by the taste and feel of mel's lips, she tasted sweet, her touches were velvety, she fitted perfectly against your body. fuck, you loved the feeling of her near you, her hands on you, her mouth on yours. all that was intoxicating, addictive, and you couldn't get enough. you loved her. and you for sure wanted to make it clear. your hands roamed over mel's shoulders and back, fingers digging into the fabric of her dress as you held her tighter, needing to be closer.

mel had already let herself go, surrendering completely to the sensations you were evoking within her. her hands slid down your back, coming to rest on the curve of your hips, fingers splaying possessively across the soft flesh beneath her palms. she could feel the heat of your body seeping through the clothes.

breaking the kiss momentarily, mel panted against your lips, her eyes dark with lust and adoration, a little unsure what to do next. you looked at her, afraid she would pull away, scream at you, tell you it was a mistake, push you. but she didn't.

"god," mel gasped, her voice rough with need. "you… i don't know what to do.."

without waiting for a response, you captured mel's lips again, this time with a hunger that bordered on desperation. "you don't need to do anything, just let me show you how i feel." mel moaned into the kiss, her body almost trembling with arousal. she could feel your desire, urgency, and it fueled her own passion, driving her to claim the woman she loved. as a friend. well..

your hands slid to mel's cheeks, holding her face gently while kissing her. with each passing second and noise mel made, you grew more confident, biting on her lower lip slightly and immediately soothing it with your tongue. one of your hands slipped down to mel's chest, holding your palm against her beating heart while the other was on her neck. your head was spinning from all the impatient kisses and passion. from the fact that you were finally kissing her.

mel shuddered as your hand came to rest over her heart, the intimate gesture she loved. she arched into your touch, craving more contact, more closeness, more of everything. her own hands began to wander, tracing the curves of your body with slight awkwardness. it felt weird at first, touching another woman in a sexual, romantic way. it felt wrong, but somehow also right. and when your teeth grazed her lower lip, mel let out a needy whine, her knees going weak with the force of this desire. she clutched at you desperately, her nails digging into the fabric of your shirt as she tried to ground herself amidst the storm of sensations and new feelings.

you felt mel's body respond to the touches, the tremors and whimpers of pleasure spurring her on. you kissed along mel's jawline, nipping and sucking at her exposed neck before trailing your lips down. each breathy moan and gasp she made only made you more confident, knowing your best friend liked the way you touched her and kissed her so hungrily.

your hands continued their exploration, slipping beneath mel's dress to caress the smooth skin of her thighs, inching higher until you reached the apex of her legs. you gasped at the contact like you were the one that felt this touch on your body, but you just couldn't hold back. you've waited for so long. "can you lay on the bed for me, please?" words came out breathless from your mouth, hands gently stroking mel's hips under her dress. you looked up at her, eyes full of adoration, pleading even. you wanted her for so long, all this now felt unreal.

at your request, mel nodded slowly. she still wasn't sure what she was feeling, what she wanted to do. but she for sure was enjoying this whole situation, the desire it brought her and the feelings she had for you right now. she took a shaky step back, putting some distance between you two as she slowly peeled off her dress, letting it pool at her feet. standing before you in nothing but her lacy underwear, mel's dark skin seemed to literally glow in the sunlight that was peaking out from the curtains.

your eyes widened as mel undressed, drinking in the sight of her beauty. you felt your mouth go dry, heart pounding in your chest as you watched mel climb onto the bed. your face turned red, suddenly aware of the whole situation. of how gorgeous the woman before you looked.

approaching the bed, you sat down in front of mel, hands reaching out to touch her flat stomach, slightly shaking. your fingertips rubbed the dark skin, coming up to mel's bra, passing it to touch the skin between her breasts. "you are so beautiful, mel.. the most breathtaking woman." you leaned down, placing a soft kiss on mel's neck, slowly coming down while your hands were on her waist, holding her in place gently.

as your hands explored her body, mel squirmed beneath your touch, her skin tingling wherever your fingers traced. she let out a shuddering sigh as your lips brushed against her neck, tilting her head to give you a better access.

"you make me feel beautiful," mel murmured, her voice husky. "like im the only woman in the world worth seeing." the admission slipped from her lips making you smile shyly.

emboldened by your previous praise, mel reached out to cup your face, guiding you into a passionate kiss. as your tongues tangled, mel rolled her hips upward, seeking some friction against the ache between her thighs. she could feel the dampness spreading on the fabric of her panties, she wishes you'd feel it right now. she needed it.

your own breath hitched as mel pulled you into another kiss, desire spiraling out of control. you moaned into mel's mouth, hands sliding down to grip the edges of mel's lacy panties, thumbs brushing against her soft skin. beaking the kiss, you looked into mel's eyes, her own filled with need and oh how you loved seeing that. "let me take care of you," you pleaded, voice barely above a whisper. almost like you were afraid she will stop you, even though it's been such a night already. "please, mel..."

your fingers found the elastic of mel's panties, slowly peeling them down her thighs as she nodded to your plea. you crawled back on the bed, positioning yourself between mel's legs, hands reaching out to spread her thighs slowly. the sight of mel's wet folds, shining under the sunlight, made you let out a heavy breath. "fuck… how are you so perfect?"

a shudder ran through mel's body when your fingers tugged at her panties, the cool air hitting her exposed skin sending goosebumps across her skin. she lifted her hips obediently, allowing you to remove the last barrier between them, her heart racing.

as you settled between her thighs, mel's breath caught in her throat, her whole body trembling with need. she could feel the heat of your gaze on her most intimate parts, and it only served to fuel the fire inside her.

"oh," she whimpered, her hands fumbling to grasp at the sheets beside her. "touch me. please. need to feel your hands on me." mel's hips bucked up desperately, seeking for any friction.

your eyes locked onto mel's glistening folds, mouth watering at the sight. without any hesitation, you leaned in, warm breath ghosting over mel's sensitive skin before your tongue extended, licking a slow, deliberate stripe from entrance to her clit. and fuck how you loved the taste of her.

you placed your hands on the inner sides of mel's thighs to not let her close them, tongue lapping at her wet folds impatiently, yet gently to not overwhelm her. you placed a kiss on mel's clit, before kitten licking it. her taste was addicting, sweet. you always knew she'd taste good, but this? you could stay between her legs forever if she'd let you. "you taste so good.."

your fingers came up to stroke the folds of mel's pussy while placing soft kisses on her inner thighs. the softness under your fingertips almost felt.. cute? yeah, her cunt was definitely cute. and pretty. obviously.

each pass of your tongue brought mel closer to the edge, her inner walls fluttering around nothing as her juices flowed freely. when your fingers joined the fray, rubbing tight circles over her swollen clit, mel knew she wouldn't last long. she was already so sensitive. it never happened with jayce…

"im close," mel panted, her thighs quivering with the effort of keeping them spread wide. "don't stop... please don't stop."

your ears perked up at mel's cries, your own arousal spiking at the sounds of pleasure she was letting out, sounding so adorable and fucking hot at the same time. was that even possible? damn. you doubled the efforts, tongue delving deeper into mel's channel as your fingers worked the sensitive bundle of nerves above, trying to make her feel good. better than any stupid man could.

feeling mel's walls begin to tense, you curled your tongue inside her, but quickly pulling back to lick and suck on hee clit. you could tell mell was right on the brink, and you desperately wanted to push her over the edge.

"come for me, mel," you murmured, voice muffled against mel's slick flesh. "it's okay."

those little words were all it took to send mel hurtling over the precipice, her orgasm crashing over her. her back arched off the bed, a silent scream tearing from her throat as her vision went white with the intensity of her climax. hips jerked erratically, grinding against your face as she rode out the aftershocks, inner muscles contracting rhythmically around nothing. wave after wave of pleasure washed over her, leaving her feeling boneless and spent on the bed.

you continued to lap at mel's sensitive folds, drawing out her pleasure even as mel's body relaxed. once the final tremors subsided, you slowly withdrew, sitting up to admire the blissful expression on mel's face. leaning in, you captured mel's lips in a tender, loving kiss, pouring all her affection into the gentle press of their mouths.

"how are you feeling?" you asked softly, her fingers slipping down to mel's bra, playing with the edge of the smooth fabric. "was that...good for you?"

"that was incredible," she breathed, her voice hoarse from crying out in ecstasy. "better than anything i ever could have imagined." mel reached up to cradle your face, gazing at you with open adoration. "thank you. for making me feel so alive, so desired."

impulsively, mel surged up to capture your lips again, this time with a fervor born of gratitude and renewed desire. almost like she understood her feelings for you, finally. after all those years, all this time. she never thought about you in this way, at least she thought she didn't. but she did. and she always loved you, wanted you. she tried to bury these feelings, tried not to think about it, dating other people. men. she always thought liking you not in a friend way is wrong, she wasn't like this. but turned out all the touches that were innocent, all the things she thought about you when she shouldn't were real, they weren't wrong. she loved you.

you returned mel's kiss with equal passion, heart swelling at the heartfelt words. you wrapped your arms around mel, holding her close as you lost yourselves in the embrace, tongues tangling, hot bodies pressing together.

after a moment, you broke the kiss, forehead resting against mel's as she gazed into your eyes. "i love you, mel. so much."

you trailed your fingers down mel's side, over the curve of her hip, and back up to play with the hem of her bra. reaching out behind her back, you clicked the bra open, slowly pilling it off mel's body. you pulled your own shirt up your body, revealing some skin to mel's gaze, the bra hugging your chest, nipples hard because of the air in the room… and all the desire that was boiling inside of you.

mel's breath hitched as your fingers deftly unhooked her bra, the cool air hitting her newly exposed breasts causing her nipples to harden instantly. she watched with hooded eyes as you removed your own top, revealing the tantalizing expanse of creamy skin beneath. leaning in, mel peppered kisses along your collarbone, her hands exploring the planes of your waist with reverence. "i love you too," she murmured against your skin, her voice thick with emotion. "more than i ever thought possible."

your breath caught as mel's hand slid down your body, responding instinctively to the touch. you arched into mel's palm, craving more. her words echoed in your mind, filling it with warmth and joy. you couldn't believe how lucky you were to have finally telling mel you loved her. and she loved you back. it felt like you were about to pass out, all this was too overwhelming for your own good. but right now, you really were the luckiest woman in the piltover.

with a gentle tug, you guided mel to lie back on the bed, crawling up to straddle her hips. you leaned down, capturing mel's lips in a sensual kiss as your hands roamed over her naked body, touching every curve you desired to touch for years with gentleness. your fingers danced along mel's sides, teasing the undersides of her breasts before moving lower to trace the lines of her chest. pressing soft kisses on her chest, you licked one of the hardened nipples, making mel gasp in surprise.

first time writing smutty smut sex whatever… tell me it's slightly better than absolute shit pls. also it took me like half an hour to write so idk if it's actually good ꒰∩ ˕ ◟͈♡꒱

[soobtokki]

hush ━━━ psh ⋆⁺₊⋆

cuddling with your boyfriend who makes sure you fall asleep.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: bf!sunghoon x fem!reader ☽ .* :☆ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: fluff, idol!sunghoon, reader can’t sleep—sunghoon soothes her, est. relationship ☽ .* :☆ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.7k

꒰ request.ᐟ ꒱

m. list ⋆ | 🐇’s note: omg u guysss, more fluff ig

You had tried everything—scented candles, rain ASMR, a softer cotton top, switching sides of your pillow, turning the lamp on, turning it off... but nothing worked. You couldn’t fall asleep.

You wanted to convince yourself that you didn’t know why... even though a very important part of you knew exactly why; you were worried, anxiety was slowly eating away at you because you missed your boyfriend so much and he was far away, hipotetically, and you hadn’t heard from him in several days—you just knew the bare minimun— because he had a very busy schedule.

You missed him so much that in your madness, you thought about sleeping in one of his hoodies to smell his scent... to feel something of him, that he was close, that he still cared about you.

But of course, he cared.

You were a very good girlfriend to Sunghoon; too good. You gave him his space, respected and understood his position as an idol, something you know he worked hard for, kept a low profile, and loved him madly in secret—although in a way you loved the discretion—and he was truly the best boyfriend for you.

The only problem was when he was too busy which drove you apart. You felt particularly nervous, your mind racing everywhere without being able to relax... You felt needy, but not that kind of burning need... rather, you wanted to hear his voice and have him by your side, even with the smallest, most common, and banal thing that could happen to you during the day.

It was 3 a.m. You didn’t even feel like checking your social media, besides, you knew that if you did, it would be even harder to sleep. It was late, and disappointed, you thought about how the last message you had from Sunghoon was at 9 a.m. to tell you that he was going from his dorm to the company. You replied that you hoped he had a good day and that you loved him, and then... nothing.

You knew that when that happened, it was because he was genuinely stuck at work, working long, hard hours and arriving at his dorm late at night. You wanted to take care of him, make sure he ate well, got enough sleep, and didn’t overwork himself or demand too much of himself... but you respected his life as an idol so much, perhaps too much, that all you could do was remind him of the same thing over and over again. Besides... you lived apart.

Even so... your mind couldn’t stop overthinking... whether he did this or that... whether he talked to one of his colleagues who looked like dolls, whether he went out to dinner with one of the members... something, what he did, how he felt. But you didn’t know anything.

Sad, you opened his chat... he hadn't even said good night to you. You thought you were overreacting; that he was really busy... but you realized he was active.

You looked at the screen confused... wondering what could be keeping him awake at this hour, and without hesitation, you were about to send him a message when he beat you to it.

[03:02 AM] hoon♡ hi, princess, you up? why?

You thought it was quick. It sounded crazy, but knowing he was there, behind his screen, writing to you, calmed you down a little.

[03:02 AM] You yes. i can’t sleep:( why are you up tho?

[03:03 AM] hoon♡ what’s wrong? why can’t you sleep?

You sighed. He ignored the other message, also you couldn’t believe he was clueless. Why? Because of him, because you haven’t seen h—

[03:04 AM] hoon♡ sorry i didn’t text you back. i got home late and i thought you were already sleeping. yeji sent me a tiktok and the notification woke me up why can’t you sleep?

You tossed and turned in bed... thinking about him, thinking that you forgave him and understood him... but it seemed that your mind and heart couldn’t quite grasp why he couldn’t spend time with you; they couldn’t get used to it. You needed him. So... somewhat sadly, you decided to tell him the truth.

[03:06 AM] You because i miss you

You saw that he read the message, but there was no response... you waited five minutes and nothing. You felt pathetic, thinking that maybe he fell asleep with the chat open and you thought he wasn’t paying attention to you in the first place, or that your poor, sweet boyfriend was just genuinely tired.

But only one of your assumptions was true.

You tried to do the same for your disappointed spirits, trying to fall asleep once again... without success. Thirty minutes passed and you were in that drowsy state, awake but not quite, asleep but not quite. You were in an endless, miserable cycle.

When suddenly, the sound of someone knocking on your door made your body feel more than a monotonous sensation. Your heart pounded and you were startled... who could it be at 3 AM?

You were even more startled when you received a notification on your phone, but you saw that it was Sunghoon, saying that it was him knocking on your door and to open it.

Your boyfriend knew your code, but he didn’t want to risk barging in and scaring you in the middle of the night, even though he was achieving that negative effect anyway.

You called him immediately, your heart still racing and unable to believe it was him... Sunghoon answered the call right away.

“What? What’s going on? It’s me, princess, you can open the door.”

You were still skeptical. Even so, you went to your door. Your brain activity was somewhat inactive; you didn’t overthink or worry for a moment that he might be a lunatic, that it was strange for your boyfriend to knock on your door past 3 AM without warning you beforehand, and that doing so, now that he was there, was perhaps a very good plot for a horror or slasher movie.

You just thought that Sunghoon was there. You saw him on your intercom screen, looking so cute, dressed casually.

And when you opened the door, you smiled warmly at him.

“Sunghoon,” you almost sighed. “What are you doing here?”

He stepped into your apartment, brushing his body close to yours.

“You couldn’t sleep... so I brought you some tea to help you relax,” he said, shaking the bag he was holding. But his presence was more helpful than any tea. “The truth is, I stole it from Sunoo. And... I missed you too,” he added sweetly, looking a little embarrassed.

You were still very impressed, seeing him there with his slightly messy hair, white T-shirt, and gray sweatpants... and on his cute face you could see some tiredness, his eyes bright but somewhat dull. It was late and you knew he had worked all day and... he came to see you.

“But—why; how did you get here—?” you tried to say, but that wasn’t important.

You stretched out your arms and hugged him, feeling his warm body and resting your cheek against his body. He was surprised for a second, but then he hugged you back, sighing and kissing you on the top of your head.

You could see how slightly exhausted he was, and it broke your heart... but it lifted your spirits to know that he thought of you enough to cross the city to see you.

“I begged the driver to bring me here. It wasn’t easy because... no one knew I snuck out of the dorm. It’s late and out of schedule but,” he explained, chuckling softly as you separated. “I needed to see you.”

You smiled and said no more about it. You knew Sunghoon needed to rest and that he was there to help you as always, so you just said.

“Let’s just go to sleep. I missed you, too.”

You left that bag of Sunoo’s tea on the breakfast island, took your boyfriend’s hands, and led him to your room, which already smelled of all kinds of exquisite scented candles. Sunghoon felt comfortable being there. There was no place more comfortable than being by your side.

As soon as you arrived, you quickly turned to him and did what you missed so much. You stood on tiptoe, wrapped your arms around his neck, and gave him a slow kiss. You knew it wasn’t possible to do that, which you loved so much, with Sunghoon, kissing him and showing him affection, always, publicly whenever you wanted... but today you needed it so much. Sunghoon received your kiss, slow, warm, passionate but sweet, as he held you by the waist.

He blushed as soon as you separated, pursing his lips shyly.

“I know you’re tired. Come to bed,” you whispered in front of him.

And it didn’t take you long to get comfortable. You had slept together before. You loved every detail about each other, and tonight, you could do it again. Hugging and cuddling, relaxing as you felt each other’s breath and snuggling tightly.

“Hey, I was supposed to help you sleep...” he said in an amused tone.

You rested your head on his chest, your cheek against him, feeling him. Not even the softest blanket or other relaxation technique to help you sleep could compare to the company of your boyfriend.

“You’re doing it...” you whispered.

You felt so enchanted by him, almost inebriated. Being with him worked wonders; you were falling more and more into his arms and into the arms of Morpheus that you so longed for.

“What was worrying you so much? I don’t want you to feel this way because of me,” you heard Sunghoon say.

You had already closed your eyes. His breathing and the silence of the room relaxed you so much. It was very obvious what you needed to sleep.

“It’s not your fault... it’s just that sometimes I’m a needy girlfriend. That's all. And I need my boyfriend,” you replied casually, letting yourself drift off to sleep little by little.

Sunghoon caressed your back and hair; he appreciated your image on his chest and smiled broadly. You were almost asleep.

“Then I’ll make sure I’m there for you. No matter what. I love you.”

The last thing you felt before falling asleep was the vibration of his voice and his hand on your back. You slept breathing in his scent. Suddenly, nothing mattered; the thoughts that had tormented you a few minutes ago disappeared, and you stayed there hugging him in the hush of the night.

taglist — join here (if u want)

(ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

[th0tformikasa]

Sorry about dinner..

summary- Bucky missed your dinner plans

pairings - Bucky Barnes x gn!reader

warnings- mentions of blood

wc: 889, masterlist | taglist

~~~

You had been slightly annoyed. Well—maybe more disappointed than anything. Tonight was supposed to be dinner out with Bucky. Something you’d both been looking forward to. But then he texted, asking if you could push things back… and switch it to dinner at home.

Fine. You told yourself something must’ve come up.

Bucky was always on time. Early, even. Never late. It was one of those things you’d come to count on—steady, reliable, him. So you tried not to let the change of plans bother you.

At first.

You’d gone ahead and cooked anyway, wanting the food to be hot and waiting when he walked through the door. But that had been two hours ago. Two hours of pacing, of peeking out the window at every sound, of telling yourself he’d be here any minute.

Eventually you’d given up, sliding the food into containers and stacking it neatly in the fridge. The apartment had grown too quiet, too heavy, so you curled up on the couch under a blanket, half-distracted by a teen romance show you were oddly obsessed with. The kind of thing Bucky would shake his head at and then end up secretly watching right along with you.

But as the minutes stretched into another hour, your disappointment shifted into something else. Worry.

Why wasn’t he home? What came up? Was he okay?

You chewed at your lip, phone clutched in your hand, before finally typing out another message.

“Is everything okay, Bucky? Call me.”

Delivered 10:33.

You stared at the screen, willing the dots to appear, willing it to buzz with his voice on the other end. This wasn’t normal for him. Not answering. Not checking in.

He may have been over a hundred years old, but Bucky Barnes knew how to use a phone. And if he wasn’t answering yours… something was wrong.

At some point, exhaustion won out. You dozed off still curled on the couch, blanket pulled tight around you. You hadn’t meant to—you’d promised yourself you’d stay up, just to make sure he came home.

The sound of keys jingling snapped you awake. The front door creaked open, soft and hesitant, like whoever was entering didn’t want to make a sound.

Your eyes blinked open, heavy with sleep. The heel of your hand rubbed against them, trying to chase away the haze.

“Bucky?” you called, voice small and groggy.

“Hey…” His reply was quiet, almost careful.

That tone alone had your heart skipping. You sat up straighter, blinking at him—and instantly, the fog of sleep disappeared.

He stood in the doorway, cut on his lip, blood still drying along his temple, bruises scattered across his jaw and knuckles. Not catastrophic—nothing you hadn’t seen before—but enough to make your chest tighten.

“James Buchanan Barnes!” you snapped, shooting to your feet and rushing toward him. The blanket fell uselessly to the floor.

“I’m sorry about dinner, love,” he murmured, voice rough and tired. His shoulders slumped, like even standing upright was more effort than he had left in him.

You closed your eyes for a second, pulling in a shaky breath to steady yourself. Dinner? Dinner?

When you opened them again, your worry broke through your frustration. “I’m not—God, Bucky, I’m not worried about dinner. What happened to you?”

He tried to give you a small smile, but it pulled at his split lip. “Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

Your glare told him you weren’t buying it, not even a little. You pressed your hands to his chest, not pushing him away, but grounding yourself in the solid warmth of him.

“Next time,” you said, softer now, eyes searching his, “you call me. Or I swear, Buck, dinner will be the least of your problems.”

His laugh was low and rumbling, even as his hands found your waist. “Yes, ma’am.”

But when he leaned forward to kiss your temple, you felt the smallest tremor in him. And that was when you knew—he needed you more than dinner, more than scolding, more than anything else tonight.

“Do I have Steve to blame for you getting into this mess?” you asked, eyebrow arched.

Bucky gave a tired half-smile. “Yeah… he called. Needed help with some Avengers stuff.”

You shook your head with a sigh. “Alright, then. Next time I see him, I’ll have a word.”

That earned you the faintest chuckle. “Don’t threaten Steve on my behalf.”

“Who says it’s a threat?” you shot back, and the corner of his mouth twitched like he was holding back a laugh.

His eyes softened then, lingering on you longer than they should have. “Tell me you didn’t stay up waiting.”

You tilted your head, smirking gently. “Well, I’m not a liar.”

Your hands came up to his jaw, light and careful, thumbs brushing over stubble as you studied his face like he might vanish if you blinked. “Let’s go fix you up.”

“I’ll be better by tomorrow,” he murmured, almost stubborn, though the warmth in his voice gave him away.

“I know,” you whispered back, lips curving into a small smile. “But I still like to care for you.”

His gaze searched yours, something unspoken flickering in his tired blue eyes. And when he leaned into your touch just slightly, like he couldn’t help it—like he’d finally let himself need you—you knew tomorrow could wait. Tonight was yours.

~~~

an: bucky come home to me bruised i’ll literally lick you clean!!!