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larstenobar · 5 years ago

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Okay so I mentioned it in the tags but I kinda wanna talk about my experiences with So/uth Pa/rk. I say this as a cis, gay, non-Jewish man. I also say this as someone who used to actually engage with the forums on the main site. I also say this as someone who played. both the two major video game RPGs. So I am speaking not from reaction to other people’s reactions but from my own personal knowledge. This post is incredibly long so it’s under a read more. In it I provide what I believe are the actual effects of South Park on its viewership but I need to stress that I think it’s the wrong energy to blame parents for letting their children watch the show.

Don’t blame the parents, blame the show.

That show is genuinely horrible. I’ve seen a lot of people questioning how anyone could let children watch it - and to that I say you’re not adding anything to the conversation by shaming parents for letting their children watch that show.

My own parents weren’t even out of their twenties when I watched the show, and many other parents grew up with the show as a non-issue. Young parents make mistakes.

At the time it came out and its early years only extremely vigilant parents realized how problematic the show was and the news was hard to spread without social media. At best you could inform your parent friends and hope they listened.

The show’s main characters are children, many parents found/find it hard to believe that a show with children as the main characters could be bad for those children. If the show were exactly the same but the children were college-aged then it would be another raunchy show they could easily see is not meant for their kids.

There’s a good portion of children who watched the show that weren’t actually allowed to watch it because their parents weren’t as tech savvy as them and therefore didn’t know about pirating/streaming until it was mainstream. We who grew up with YouTube knew you could put in [show] episode 1 part 1 and start watching. (this is gonna be another point later btw)

I know that it’s hard for you guys to even know all the reasons it’s problematic because you all barely scratch the surface of it’s problems. But before we even get into the meat of its problems (Science Denial, Homophobia, Transphobia, Ableism, Anti-Semitism, Islamophobia, etc.) we have to look at the very premise of the show.

The main characters begin in fourth grade. Fourth Grade. There’s a phenomena in our culture where we believe that children saying stupid stuff is harmless, and we forget that when children hear children speak - even animated children - they are hearing their peers. And peers learn from each other. This is why the show is so insidious, because it makes it easier for children to digest the messages.

Another thing that’s very important to note is that - while it’s labelled satire, every single joke is played straight, and the straight man character (usually either S or Ky) are ridiculed by the culture they’re surrounded in. Don’t believe me? Think I’m over-exaggerating? Think about the election episode, where they had to pick between a literal piece of shit or a douche. Our Straightmen were constantly saying how ridiculous the situation was, but everyone around them was telling them they were the ones who were stupid for not particpating in the election until they eventually break and submit to the absurdity. This is a light example, but it’s the typical formula. If they aren’t actively participating in the absurdity around them, they’re ridiculed until they break. What this tells the audience isn’t that the people who were particpating were stupid, but that they were right.

Now that we’ve looked at the show premise, let’s get into the details. A note: This is just what I remember from approximately age 5-18, the latter years I’d been turned off from it slowly so I wasn’t as engaged but it was not any better then. Since this is just what I can remember without looking through episodes or looking up articles, this is going to be a small sampling of things that stuck with me. Be assured, there was much, much, much more.

Science Denial and its effects on the viewers.

This is the lightest thing I can recall, and probably going to be the smallest section as it’s mostly centered around their stand-in for global warming, a cryptid figure called M/an/Be/ar/P/ig. Al G/ore was painted as a desperate, raving lunatic for believing in the phenomena, and was even implied to be making it up by having him dress up as the cryptid. I don’t have to explain why this is wrong, but we need to look at the effect this had.

On the one hand it made fans think that Global Warming (as it’s something A.G. believed in) was a hoax. Furthermore, it made them believe that anyone who believed in it was telling lies, which was overwhelmingly the most progressive people. A direct effect of these jokes (which they apologized for but never stopped propagating btw, MBP was still a joke when I stopped watching) was that progressives were seen as over-dramatic and stupid.

Now, I am not saying people watched these shows and immediately thought “oh wow, how fucking stupid of A.G. I don’t believe in climate change anymore.” It’s more like this: “Oh haha, S thinks A.G. is annoying, I like S so I agree, A.G. is annoying. You know, A.G. is kinda annoying with all that global warming, maybe there’s something to him being over-dramatic? Gosh why can’t these progressives see that it’s not that big of a deal. If they trust A.G. then they MUST be blowing other things out of proportion.” That’s the thought processes it trains its viewers to have.

LGBT+ Characters

Okay so there’s actually a lot of things that go into the Homophobia of S/P. And it goes back to the very beginning of the show, and is both explicit and implicit. There is a huge problem with these, but the main problem isn’t so much that they exist, but the show’s attitude towards their own ‘jokes’ and the ways in which fans suck up that thought process.

Before I get into this, there were some things that I need to say in favor of the show - not because I think the show deserve praise, but because there were some things that I latched onto and showed a surprising nuance. There’s like one thing, really but it is, of course, attached to something that’s a much larger issue within the show, so while it is a small glimmer, it’s in no way outshining any of the problems in the show.

For a while, the teacher underwent gender reassignment when he (the teacher currently identifies as male from my last interaction with the show) got breast implants and presumably bottom surgery (I vaguely remember a surgery but honestly that could be an invention) he was in a gay relationship. His then boyfriend had a very heartfelt and difficult conversation about how he still cared about him and how he’ll never hate him for being the woman that he wanted to be, but there was no way that he could pursue a relationship with him. I thought that this was a very mature depiction of a very difficult situation that is never really talked about. However, as I implied earlier, this is attached to a larger issue. Before any of you start having second thoughts about your ideas about S/P’s portrayal of gay and trans people, immediately after getting broken up with the teacher became violently homophobic as a backlash, I vaguely recall a group being formed.

Our main examples of LGBT individuals in the show are these big four (five?):

The afforementioned teacher

The teacher’s boyfriend, who wears leather gear at school and can’t stop talking kink even in front of the child characters

A character called B/ig G/ay A/l who is just as stereotypical as his name implies.

T/weak and C/raig, who are classmates of the focal characters. There’s a lot of reasons this is problematic, none of them being the age of those involved in the relationship - but the portrayal of them is hugely problematic.

Since I’ve already touched on the teacher, we’ll get into them first. When he was introduced, he was a sort of ambiguously gay character who was very bitchy and spoke with a slight lisp that eventually became a canon gay character with his relationship with the Kink Character. He was violently hateful towards his class, verbally abusing them all the time and often particpating in bullying children. Furthermore he’s seen as incompetent. This is problematic not because he’s a gay man doing this (though it’s not great either) but because this taught children that teachers don’t care about them and that they shouldn’t listen to them because they don’t know what they’re talking about anyways. This goes into their anti-intellectual stance mentioned earlier. It enforces the idea that education systems are useless, not because of the institutional problems they have with racism, but because of the incompetence of the system.

Going back to the point of this, still with the same character, let’s further explore the problems they had when the teacher had an arc as a trans woman. Honestly, I didn’t pay much attention to it, but the show made a point to let you know that the other characters were uncomfortable when Mr. G became Ms. G. The most damning thing about this, however, is the fact that Mr. G detransitioned bc he realized he wasn’t a straight woman, just a gay man. I think this is problematic because it frames transitioning as a sexual strategy. I don’t think I have to go into detail on why that’s problematic. And while this isn’t actually a tie into how horrible their handling of this character is, it should be noted that he’s the character that went on to be their T/rump stand-in.

The next character is the Kink Man.

God, the character’s personality isn’t actually all that bad. He’s loving and caring and empathetic and actually usually on the right side of topics, but. He doesn’t separate his kink from his personal life. He’s always strutting around in leather-daddy gear and has a lisp. His name is literally Mr. S/lave. There was an episode where he shoved a hamster in his ass. To viewers, he represents the dirty gays that keep shoving their sex-life down their throats - and this view is never, ever, ever subverted, so since the show never makes fun of people for having that view it reinforces that idea in their minds.

Honestly the least problematic character of the LGBT characters that I mentioned was BGA. He’s still a stereotype, yeah, he has a gay dog and is super flamboyant and constantly talks about how proud he is but honestly that’s not really all that bad. I can’t directly recall anything bad about him except that he’s incredibly flamboyant, speaks with a lisp, and loves to call things he owns “BGA’s Big Gay [noun].” Relatable. That doesn’t mean there was nothing problematic, it just doesn’t immediately come to me.

Now, for the next most problematic “representation” in the show. First, T&C showed no signs of actually being gay before. I do recall them both being my favorite characters before they became a couple, however. T is a coffee addict which has some suspect aspects we’ll get into later, and C used to flip everyone off. This was why they were my favorites. They became gay literally when fangirls started shipping them in the show. I’m sure there was an actual fandom movement, but their getting together was incredibly forced - that was part of the joke btw, that gay shipping is always forced. What’s horrible about this is that this was in an episode about ya/oi.

Now, let’s try to dissect this issue. First off, what this tells viewers is that being gay was not a natural part of who they were, but was an active choice (if you’re being kind) or something society forced on them (if you’re not.) The two were actively fighting with the narrative that they were gay and in a relationship. I think their actual agreement for being boyfriends was more of a mutual public display than an actual relationship, but it’s a fuzzy memory because that whole episode felt like a fever dream.

What’s worse about this, is that the show actually displayed ya/oi depictions of these children within the show. Nothing NSFW, but clearly sexually charged situations were definitely shown. At the time, they were 5th graders. 9/10 year olds for those not in the states. This emboldened actual CT shippers “If the show could do it, then so can I” was the general mentality on the forums I was on. So we can talk on pedophilia to reasons why this show is awful.

And those are just the named recurring characters. Another commonly recurring character is a prostitute with a deep voice who is very sloppy looking that, from my recollection, is implied to be a transwoman. This might have just been a conclusion I drew when I was young however - but even that is reason to be critical of the character, that such a conclusion could even be drawn means it might have played a factor in the character’s inception.

They also “Solved Overpopulation” with a gay orgy. I don’t have the language to define why this sat so wrong with me, but I remember being very deeply hurt by it. I think it has something to do with the idea that homosexuality is a choice and that it should only be accepted because of the potential benefits it has for population control.

Islamophobia and Racism

Okay so I’m just gonna come out the gate by saying that they fought hard to depict the prophet Mohammad. Like, hard. And they did it twice - one time went almost unnoticed but the second had a huge backlash from the Islamic people. For those who aren’t aware, it’s sacrilege to depict Mohammad. It’s like desecrating a church, maybe worse - I really have no frame of reference for how bad it’s viewed, but however bad it is, it still boils down to being a strict taboo that S/P broke not once, but twice.

Now, as I keep reminding, my memory gets hazy for many things, especially things I wasn’t aware of being insensitive early on. I have vague memories of terrorists being depicted in traditional Sikh garb, and similar instances of directly relating Islam with terrorism. I don’t recall the show ever making fun of anyone for relating Muslims with terrorism, for all those fans out there saying they make fun of everyone.

There was an episode where the characters wore blackface. There’s a black character literally named t/oken b/lack. Sure, that could be satire and maybe even be defended if they subverted the trope, however it should be noted he’s not the only black character in the show! There was an episode where there was a child adopted from Africa whose name escapes me - he was emaciated and devoured food at an alarming rate and generally was a nuisance if I remember correctly.

There was an instance where one of the main character’s father was on Wheel of Fortune. The category was people who annoy you. the letters on the board were ‘N_ggers.’ You know where this is going, the father said the N-word. The word was really naggers, but the rest of the episode was a sympathetic journey with him dealing with being ostracized. He became known as an ‘n-word guy’ which was treated as a worse term within the universe. I say this because a law was passed where the phrase was outlawed and they said you had to have a space of at least 5 words between ‘n-word’ and ‘guy’. Also, the n-word was said multiple times by a number of white characters. Now, I know the argument people make about this episode. They say that we were supposed to find the scanario ridiculous, but the issue I take with it is more that we’re led to feel sympathetic to racists who’ve had their lives ruined for being racist. That’s the issue with South Park’s brand of ‘satire’. It satirizes one issue, but doesn’t touch on the problematic things used to support that satire.

Almost every single Mexican character is a stereotype of some sort. Either a laborer who can barely speak English, a gangbanger, or some other stereotype. There was an episode where they had C’s hand become a famous Latina popstar by singing about Mexican Food themed songs, like the actual songs ‘T/aco F/lavored K/isses’ and ‘T/aco B/urrito’. The hand’s name was Jennifer Lopez, I don’t know of these songs are direct parodies bc I’ve only heard Jenny From the Block.

And while S/P tends to stay away from very direct anti-black jokes, they don’t shy away from other races. There’s an asian character whose business is called ‘c/ity wok’, but he always pronounces it ‘shitty’ because the joke here is ‘oh haha asians have funny accents’ and literally nothing else. I honestly believe that asians receive the WORST treatment on S/P when it comes to facing racism, but I’m not qualified to make that claim. Other examples of anti-asian racism: There was an pokemon episode where they said that Japan was using anime to indoctrinate youth, they literally had the kids operate fighter jets to make an attack on the U.S. What’s worse about this, is that whenever the Japanese execs were questioned about this, every time, they dropped their pants to show how small their penises were and how they should be pitied for it. Another instance, I very strongly remember a depiction of asian characters as being lemon yellow with eyes like this: \ /. There was an episode where they had Asians violently murder whales with glee. They lean into anti-asian racism so much harder than any other form of racism - the only thing they’re worse about is their antisemitism, which will get its own section later.

Antisemitism

God there’s so much. Jew Gold, nazi imagery, the entirety of c/a/r/t/m/a/n as a character and there are so many posts on this website by people much more qualified than me to delve into what exactly is wrong with this and the depictions of it, so I’m mostly just going to catalog what comes to mind and then speak about the actual factual instances of S/P inspired antisemitism I’ve witnessed and been party to.

There was an episode devoted to Jewish people having a secret bit of gold around their necks. This was proven true in the universe when Ky gave up his ‘J*w Gold’ to C.

Ky’s mom is such an overbearing harpy who bulldozes over everyone, this was later explained as her having Jersey-Blood (yes this was a Jersey Shore joke) but before that it was completely because she was a proud Jewish woman.

Ky’s father is depicted as weak-willed and piddling. He always wears a yarmulke no matter the situation.

Ky is often depicted as being whiny and non-commital

OF ALL THE CHARACTERS, KY IS THE ONE WHO IS DEPICTED AS A HYPOCRITE THE MOST

Ky’s cousin with the same name is depicted as in poor health, complains about everything, whines about things not being fair bc they don’t go his way, and has caricatured Jewish features

As mentioned above, there are hosts of Nazi imagery associated with C

C has said every Jewish slur I have ever heard. In fact he introduced me to the concept of antisemitism

Ky, in a Christmas episode, is depicted as wishing he could celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah is depicted as a sort of consolation prize that’s Not As Good.

Ky’s father was an internet troll, and the trolls were. literal trolls. with certain features that are not great.

The following image is the Prophet Moses:

And there’s more and more and more. I will not accept anyone saying that this is just jokes because I know firsthand how insidious their treatment of Jewish people is because this show literally made me think it was okay to engage in Antisemitism. I made greedy jokes, like saying a got J**ed when i was screwed over, or that someone who was being greedy was being a J*w. I am not proud of this, and I think I grew out of it relatively quickly as I dropped that language in middle school.

But not everyone did. Even some of my closest friends were still saying they got J**ed when we were graduating high school. There were no Jewish people at my school, so there was no humanizing face for the Jewish people for us. Thank god for the Nanny or who knows what kind of person I’d be now. There were people even worse than me, I should mention. There was one person in my school who literally used J*w as a stand-in for loser because of this show. This show was the only interaction with the Jewish faith that most of my classmates ever had, and the same is true of many rural towns in America who have only Protestant populations.

Fatphobia

All the most unlikeable characters are fat. C. Ky’s mom. The gun-toting republican. And there are other specific episodes where they equate fatness to not being healthy. In their episode partnered with WoW (don’t forget that happened, y’all) the main antagonist was depicted as a no-life having loser and he was, surprise, fat. This show draws a very direct line between being fat and being unlikeable.

Sexism

God, the portrayal of women is so horrible, literally my only entry here is going to be one single link:

youtube

Note all the other isms depicted in this btw.

Substance Abuse

The prostitute mentioned in the LGBT section would wander into scenes screaming about how she wanted crack. There was an episode where they created a league of basketball players who were comprised entirely of ‘crack babies.’ I’m being generous by not putting that in the racism section because most of the babies were BIPOC which says something about the kind of people that M/att and T/rey think are addicts.

The character T/owelie is supposed to show an addict, but his addiction is literally just weed which means they’re claiming weed is addictive.

I can’t even begin to describe the show’s relationship to alcohol. As a child of an alcoholic, I can say that it’s not fucking cute that they made S’s dad a violent drunk. It’s genuinely scary to see your parent fly into a rage because of their alcoholism and them reducing it to a joke was, I think, one of the points where the ‘it’s just a joke’ mentality started to break for me personally.

While we’re on the subject of parents, C’s mom was literally a crack addict who was also a full service sex worker. The correlation is not sympathetic in the slightest. And even worse was Ke’s parents. They were depicted as abusive, neglectful, drug-addicted rednecks. This was sometimes played to make you sympathize with Ke, and it worked because even now I can hardly think of how Ke himself was problematic rather than the situations he was in. (He’s the one who gets gruesomely murdered every episode) I don’t know if this is because of selective memory, if he was genuinely just the least problematic in the show, or if I’m waxing nostalgic for the show. Regardless, as I said, his situation was mostly played for sympathy. However, it was also played for jokes almost as often.

Pedophilia

The children are put in sexual situations a nonzero amount of times, they make priest molestation jokes, and they made jokes about MJ.

Slurs

Yeah they said them a lot. There was the aforementioned N-Word Guy episode, but there was also an episode that thinly mirrored immigrants coming to America for work and the people (time-travelers) were called ‘Goobacks’. I think the word ch*nk was used a nonzero amount of times, C used every slur for Jewish people in the book. None of these were censored by the show, any censoring was done by networks.

Why make this post?

Because I know people know this show is garbage, but I think it’s important that people know why it’s garbage with specific and nonspecific instances of why the show was problematic.

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fearnyas · 6 years ago

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TAGGED: @etoilenyas bc we love to suffer! TAGGING: i don’t even remember who’s active in my following man just steal it from me

▌𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 : Oliver Quincy Issac Wright. ▌𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍 : In an established relationship with Dmitry Jones. The state of their relationship varies throughout their canon. They’ve been dating since high school: for four years by the time the Vegas Arc takes place, and they’re engaged in the NYC Arc after Ollie proposes. Post-NYC Arc, they get married. ▌𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒 :

Uses a magical bell to transform into Nyan Diamond, defender of love & justice and second-in-command of The Cat’s Nyas. His bell when not in use is often worn as a choker.

Thanks to the contract, Oliver has cat-like senses. Meaning, his eyesight, hearing, sense of smell, etc. are all heightened even outside his transformation. This effect is permanent so long as the contract is enforced. Better vision at night. Includes cat-like reflexes, flexibility, quicker speed, and the ability to still land on his feet were he to fall from a great height. He may still obtain injuries, but is objectively safer than an average human might be.

Additionally, in the early years of his contract, under intense emotional stress (whether that’s positive or negative) he may sprout a cat ears and tail, or completely turn into a cat temporarily. (His particular breed is a Scottish Fold!) How long these consequences last varies on how much stress he was under, but he will eventually return to normal. He can still talk normally even in his cat form, which is...distressing...so any meows around non-Nyans are entirely fake. Eventually, the Nyans gain more control over this, and it becomes less of an inconvenience.

When transformed, he has the ability to use water magic to attack his opponents.

The strength and usage of these attacks vary. Typically, he’ll summon blasts or waves of varying temperatures and strengths, but the possibilities are only as limited as his imagination is. However, everything new takes time to practice before he can use it to its full potential. Not limited to exclusively water, but anything liquid.

This eventually extends to manipulating ice states, but the element itself is not something he can control outside of what he’s summoned. Pre-existing resources in this instance are of no use to him.

Water that he summons, if paired with another Nyan’s element, is beneficial. For example, combining his abilities with Nyan Clover’s vines/plant magic, Clover’s plants grow stronger, and Diamond’s water magic serves as a boon.

Most if not all of his summons come directly from his staff. The crystal embedded within it serves as a way to store his magic, and it makes any attack easier to control. His weapon-of-choice makes it so he’s more effective at a distance, but he’s comfortable taking enemies on close range if he has to.

After the Nyans defeat Oleander, the vice that Oliver forms in the middle of the Vegas Arc, he gains luck magic. Rather, the ability to manipulate luck itself. At its best, this is a major boon for the team if it works in their favor. However, when first obtained, it isn’t something he can predict accurately, and poses a high risk if used improperly. Has to rely on intuition and chance, luck and probability can be shifted at a price. It’s something he needs to be incredibly careful with.

▌𝐄𝐘𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑 : Naturally violet as a civilian. | As Nyan Diamond, the color shifts to light blue with purple and pink hues throughout. ▌𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑 : Light honey brown as a civilian, has natural red highlights. | When transformed as Nyan Diamond, his hair is light blue. ▌𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒 : Scarlett Wright, often goes by Carly or Carla - mother. She primarily works from home as an accountant. Prior to moving to America, he saw her the most often, so he was naturally closer to her. She was the first person he confided in about his sexuality and both her and Samuel have been incredibly supportive. | Samuel Wright - father. Works as a sports coach and physics teacher, the main influence on a lot of Oliver’s interests and hobbies. When he wasn’t busy helping the local secondary school teams, he’d spend a majority of his time planning short family trips or trying to bond with his son. Oliver and him have a positive relationship, as far as families go. | Oliver doesn’t keep in contact with his extended family due to a variety of factors. He uses the distance as an excuse, though it’s an obvious lie. His relationship with them has always been incredibly strained, particularly after he realized his sexuality. As a result, he’s never come out to them, and he doesn’t intend to. ▌𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐒 : Presently, he helps take care of their contractor, Lucky, with Dmitry. Prior to his move, he had three dogs. All border collies, Lexi, and two of her twin puppies that his family grew attached to. Their names are Parsley and Sage! | While not pets that he owned, when his family was able they also fostered a variety of animals. As a result, it’s something he wants to take up again in the future. ▌𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 : People who are unnecessarily cruel for no reason. He doesn’t personally like swearing, and quit himself ages ago, he’s willing to overlook it for other people. Doesn’t really like religion as a whole, or people who force their beliefs on others (especially unprompted! The kinds of people who assume you’re just like them and share the same mindset, that kind of thing.) Not necessarily fond of himself, or how easily he cries; doesn’t like being overly sensitive. Absolutely hates being lied to, or people who skirt around the truth; thinks its easier to hurt temporarily than to hide something, which is...terribly ironic. ▌𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒 / 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 : Gambling and cardistry. Sports, both playing and watching--likes playing soccer, rugby, swimming primarily. Watches national games for the former two, as well as American football, albeit with less interest. Cooking, baking, trying to figure out recipes for both himself and Dmitry with varying degrees of success. Binges of romcoms or trashy ‘dating’ shows. Violin. Most outdoor recreational activities--primarily hiking, fishing, or camping. Studying. Logic puzzles. Taking care of animals. Sewing. Playing video games casually, usually popular titles. ▌𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 : Not intentionally! His vice caused a lot of harm, but it was mostly contained within its own realm. Doesn’t get into fights otherwise. ▌𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 : No, keeping his vice contained + it’s own abilities (ironically) helped prevent casualties. There were cases of severe injury though, although not many. ▌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 : Scottish Fold cat. ▌𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒 : He second-guesses himself a lot, rather than listening to his gut, as a result--this tends to backfire. (Vegas Arc) He’s meek, and doesn’t stand up for himself or speak his mind. Bottles up more of his feelings than he actually expresses, which leads to...some more than unsavory situations. Has a tendency to doubt other’s intentions and feelings towards him, making assumptions of what they feel towards him even without provocation. Pretty petty and passive-aggressive, especially on shift, it’s rare this is directed towards his friends. Tendency to isolate, or at least makes attempts to. Assumes the worst of most every situation. Extremely self-depreciating, will find a way to shift the blame to himself if something goes wrong. Apologizes for literally everything. Hypocritical in the sense the advice he’ll willingly give other people is the same kind he knows he should take, but doesn’t. ▌𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐒 : His best friend, Lacey. His boyfriend, Dmitry. The other Cat’s Nyas, his friends. (Jules and Romeo especially!) ▌𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 : Homoromantic homosexual. For a while, especially when he was closeted, he dealt with varying degrees of internalized homophobia not aided by the influence of his extended family, which fed into his worsening mental health. At home, he was selective and hesitant with who he came out to as a matter of safety. This is no longer an issue. ▌𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐄 / 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 : He didn’t think much of marriage prior to dating Dmitry. Mostly, he didn’t think he’d be able to, or that he deserved to. That being said...he does think highly of it, and absolutely wants to. He thinks its sweet, and by the time they’ve graduated high school he would have already brought up the idea of it. When he eventually proposes, he already has a vague idea of what he wants in his vows and the ceremony he’d like. Isn’t sure about children due to a small degree of self-doubt, but isn’t opposed to adoption. No opinion on how many kids he’d want to adopt, as he hasn’t really thought about it. ▌𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒 : Dress casual and light colors. Button ups and cuffed jeans, muted or slightly pastel-leaning colors, he likes loose t-shirts and jackets/cardigans, anything that looks nice but too flashy. Doesn’t wear a lot of jewelry outside of his piercings and the trinket. ▌𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 : Dmitry, first and foremost. He’s his first and only boyfriend and he’s honestly never been happier with someone. Didn’t buy into love at first sight until he met him, and even then, he only found more reasons to fall harder. He loves his childhood friend, current friends, and his parents too of course, and would do anything for them, but his feelings for Dmitry are notably stronger. ▌𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐓𝐎 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒 : Tries his best to be amicable, albeit, he’s extremely shy. He grows out of his shyness by the time the NYC Arc is in place, but he’s still pretty soft-spoken and is inclined to let them lead in conversations and plans. Relatively warm and easy to get along with, and likes hanging out with the friends he has when he’s able. Goes out of his way to try and talk to people who seem like they need the company, and is deeply empathetic, willing to lend an ear to those who need it. Although this doesn’t go both ways. He doesn’t want to burden them, so he often overextends himself with making others happy at the expense of himself. ▌𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐊 : Alcoholic, he likes beer most, particularly lagers or ale, but isn’t opposed to anything else. Non-alcoholic, black coffee or fruit-based teas are an immediate go to. Doesn’t drink a lot of soda. Should drink more water. ▌𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐓 : The easy answer is anywhere his boyfriend might be. The more in depth answer is anywhere outdoors; he likes to sight-see and experience new things. Favors beaches or local parks. Likes hanging out at the casino he works at as well, even off shift; it’s lively and he has a good time actually placing bets of his own, he knows a few of the regulars by name. ▌𝐒𝐖𝐈𝐌 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐍 : Ocean, no questions asked. History aside, he enjoyed going out to local beaches a lot as a kid, and swimming in the ocean was something he really liked. Give him directions to the nearest beach please and thank you! ▌𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄 : Romantically, someone who’s self-assured and knows what they want in life. Someone with a good heart who does good things, or at least tries to. Someone patient who won’t judge him for his seemingly-endless list of fears and is willing to help him as he tries to ‘get better.’ Someone who takes the time to understand him, just as much as he does them. Brave, beautiful, and willing to set aside time just for the two of them. Basically, everything Dmitry is, thanks, he thinks he’s perfect and this has never changed. Platonically, he just likes people who are kind, funny, and humble--he doesn’t like braggarts or anyone with a huge ego--the most important thing is just being willing to understand him and not judge him for what he perceives to be his many, many flaws. ▌𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑𝐒 : Camping, absolutely. He’s a surprisingly outdoorsy type, and he has gone on a few family camping trips before. Not to mention, stargazing is kind of romantic if you think about it...he’d really like to do that at least once with someone he really, really loves. (Hey? Dmitry? Are you listening?)

#why did i go so hard on thIS ME @ ME HELLO ??#anyway hi i love #my son ...#` ♢ chara study. ⁞ the truth is‚ you have to be soft to be strong. ◞

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fl-oralfawnarchive · 3 years ago

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Hi! I’m not sure if you’re the kind of blog that answers things like this, but i’m having trouble finding any active advice blogs on the topic so i’m asking around to other active blogs i like in the community. if you’re not interested in answering, no worries!!

i’m 18 and i’ve been privately interested in age regression for a long time - i think i’ve even unconsciously started to regress slightly because i get in a weird headspace and seek certain activities and stimulus out when i get there. for example: Music, shows, and books from when i was a toddler, i go partially nonverbal and get more sensitive and clumsy, i start stimming more and in more childish ways. despite all the research and the draw to it i’ve had over the past year-ish, i kind of don’t know where to start. i don’t know how to tell if i’m regressing, i don’t know how to do it intentionally, i don’t know my age range or if it’s even something i’m capable of at all. i’m not very comfortable being taken care of in this specific way, i can’t be vulnerable enough with a potential cg to have that kind of relationship. even though its something i crave, i’ve gotten very good at self-soothing and self-governance. i’m also autistic, and already have trouble identifying my own emotions, so it’s a little bit of a non-starter. do you have any tips for someone falling into age regression with no understanding of how to be intentional, or someone who wants to try it out and doesn’t know how to get there?

hi there!! it’s no worries at all; im always more than happy to try and help with questions like this! 🧃i am just gonna kind of answer in the order you brought things up in your ask and we all know i’m long winded so lots of words coming➿

so to start the behaviors you’re describing definitely sound like regression!! so anytime you’re feeling that way you can know you’re regressing🔆 honestly i think everyone has different sorts of ways that indicate they’re regressed! different tells, so to speak. for me i start to babble, i laugh more, my movements get a lot more careless and i am a lot less logical than usual c:

in regards to not knowing how to regress intentionally, that’s absolutely something that a lot of regressors deal with! my two best pieces of advice are: doing what people call “age dreaming”☁️ this is basically just enjoying the things that you would when regressed, while you’re still in a big headspace^^ so maybe putting on the music/shows or looking at the books you gravitate towards in your regressed mindset or anything similar even though you’re not in that mindset yet! this can help you work yourself into the headspace you’d like to be in🧩 i like to engage in material meant for older children and sort of work my way down, but everyone does it differently! second is to try your best not to stress yourself out or beat yourself up over it if you can’t get yourself to regress!! ✧ it’s easier said than done but stressing over the fact that you can’t regress will make it harder, or possibly push you into a more vulnerable regression where you feel like a sad kid which can be challenging to deal with bc emotional regulation is even harder in that state :(

when it comes to an age range that is something that is totally optional to have! they’re really more of a thing around tumblr just to let other people know what kinds of childlike content you enjoy. ya know if your blog content will be more rattles/bottles etc or more cartoons/toy trucks/barbies kind of thing🎨 i think the whole range thing is kind of misleading too because a lot of people will regress and not everything they enjoy falls into one age range!some people like to use a bottle while they play video games, or do worksheets made for kindergarteners while they watch a show made for middle schoolers! an age range is only for your benefit and is not needed at all if you don’t want it! i don’t have one really, bc mine is so big it’s basically pointless ^^

having a caregiver isn’t necessary either!! if you’re comfortable soothing alone that is absolutely valid definitely don’t feel like finding a cg is a mandatory part of your journey🩹 and if a cg is something you want it’s totally okay if it’s not something you feel ready for right now! figuring out regression can be challenging so the thought of adding in someone else is daunting! if you don’t know what works for you yet it’s best to find that out first so then you know what kind of person you would want your caregiver to be and what would be important for them to do for you in your regression :)

overall i say just keep interacting with the content you liked as a kid!🐡 try activities you liked as a kid! maybe get yourself a toy or something you wanted the but never got! or had and don’t anymore.(when i first started regressing more i would get myself happy meals bc they made me feel small and i wasn’t allowed to get them much as a kid! stuff like that!^^) just keep letting yourself indulge in childlike things and see what makes you feel at peace, safer and happier!🧸bc in the end that’s really what regression is all about :)

#ahh i yam sorry this is so long #i can never balance answering a question thoroughly but also not making it forever to read :(((#hopefully it isn’t too much for you nonny and is separated in an easy ish to read way #i hope this helped some and if there’s anything else i can do for you pls let me know!!#fawn💌answers #anon ask #also just wanna say i kniw regression where you are sad and having bad times is very common for people!! and nothing to be ashamed of!!#honestly my regression has mostly been like that recently and a happy regression isn’t better inherently #ofc it’s nice to be happy but when i say the point of agere is to feel safe and happy it’s like you’re not always feeling that in the momen #but process is meant to make you feel better in the long run at the least<3

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todaysbiggesthits · 5 years ago

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The Exam

Best Music Moment of 2020

Bin: Re-discovering 1990s alt-rock and listening to some previously unknown and/or forgotten jams culminating with discovering that Cherub Rock is an all-time track

Chap: Dancing to Frank Sinatra with my kids on NYE

Bronco: Started jamming with John on Rocksmith. He pointed out that there was a multiplayer mode, so I ordered another cable and, lo and behold, we were both able to play. He's starting to learn the bass while I continue to tinker with the guitar. Pretty awesome to jam out to some Alice in Chains or some Mastodon with my 10-year-old son. Only two more years and he should be able to tour with Korn!

Code: - climbed up to the roof for 4th of july and brought the big set outside to jam at an ear splitting volume. Arden and i danced until we got almost too drunk to descend the ladder. that was major fun. - broke quarantine (and my smoking cessation plan) in late april to ride my bike to the lake and listen to townes van zandt while thinking of bobcat the wheelie king. - listening to shadowplay while closing out each opponent in a summerlong match play tournament. - watching the sun rise through the fog on an october morning while crossing the mississippi river with elliott smith's XO

JD: July: Sitting by the window watching a rainstorm with the Barwick album on the day it came out. October: A big spin of The Big Ship. November: Blasting “House of Jealous Lovers” when they called the election and turning it into a 2.5 hour club mix. November: jj having a violently negative reaction to a song by that Muzz band that came on shuffle and saying it sounded like Jason Mraz.

BC: Haphazard attempt at The Music Game over Zoom in April with last partiers standing - JD, Maddy, and I "Live Drugs" first listen

Larse: Probably streaming through YouTube Music's Top Indie 2020 on my Chromecast TV and seeing all of the music videos for the songs on a lazy weekday afternoon whilst I wasn't working over the holidays

Best Shows Seent in 2020

Code: pqc - 10th anniversary show (streamed) silver jews - final show (01/31/2009) a handful of live phish performances while facetiming with jonas, bc and geoff not a single in-person show attended

Nasty:"Dinner and a Movie" series - Phish Youtube with BC, Code, and Dillon via facetime

JD: 1. Peel Dream Magazine at whatever they call Hi-Fi now on the day before lockdown 2. Real Estate busking on the sidewalk in front of closed record store locations in Manhattan 3. Parkay Boys’ 10th anniversary stream on my couch

Laser: Cirque du Soleil Michael Jackson One in Vegas in January…that was the only show even remotely related to music I saw all year

Bronco: Only seent one, and it was Cold War Kids with my wife. Had a really good time. It was nice to share some quality music time together, away from the kids for a night... basically the only time of this butthole of a year.

Chap: Ted Lasso

BC: Yeeeahhh right

Confession of 2020

JD: I think I engaged with Aerosmith music videos more than any new albums.

BC: Listening to new music often feels like a chore

Rotty: I played over 75 rounds of golf this year…another ample opportunity to listen to new music and I found myself just listening to Classic Pop/Rock Hits!

Codem: - i didn't even listen to taylor swift's album. - i listened to bob marley - live! for the first time in 20 years while driving my dad's car and i sobbed and sang.

Nasty: I'm a phish fan now?

Bronco: I'm still reading the book I mentioned in last year's Resolution for 2019 Status...such a slow fucking reader and this book is 1000 pages. Kindle app says I'm 63% of the way through. Jesus.

Biggest Disappointment of 2020

Nasty: Still Kanye...

NACK: Sufjan Stevens

Code: - no shows with my sweet one - no stones while waiting for the canons - i think i grew out of diet cig - i didn't put my heart into finding cool album art this year.

Larson: JD's wedding being cancelled (editor’s note: sure hope you mean postponed)

JD: Don’t know if it was my advanced age, the lack of concerts, commuting, and hearing music in bars and restaurants, or the platform economy murdering my attention span and turning them all into yet more ephemeral ‘content,’ but the new albums really didn’t take this year.

Bronco: Kvelertak was okay, they changed lead singers and the new album was fine, but after their last offering that landed quite high on my list, this one was kind of a let down. Also, 2020.

BC: 2020

Most Overrated of 2020

Chap: Fiona

BC: I fully expect Fiona Apple to flood this answer. But the correct answer is Waxahachee.

JD: It’s hard to say given the way ‘institutional’ narratives feel mostly guided by risk minimization, but I always keep this seat warm for Run the Jewels.

Bronco: Any and all death metal. It's all so samey. I have a hard time trying to get in to any of it, so I don't bother...and then it bothers me when it ends up on end of year lists like it's some revelation of sound. It's literally all the same.

Code: podcasts

Bin: The human brain

Laser: my golf game!

Make it Stop 2020

Nasty: WOP (editor’s note: WAP?)

Larse: Having to talk about Politics

Code: "better off alone" - purity ring

JD: The impossibly grating contempo pop that’s always on the radio at the bodega down the street.

Chap: Covid? Trump? Celeb deaths? SNL? Murder Hornets? Talkin' tv models via email? Not enough exposure to pop culture to really get annoyed by anything.

BC: The raging pandemic. Seriously.

Biggest TBH Regret of 2020

Laser: giving this the old college try and having just a shit list!

Chap: Only seeing one show in my 2.5 years in NYC

JD: Skipping Nap Eyes opening for Destroyer in February because I’d so obviously be able to catch Nap Eyes headlining a better venue later on.

Codem: i wanted that teenage halloween album to sound better because i loved the album artwork

Bin: Not buying Lilly stock

Bronco: No regrets to be had, couldn't do anything in this godforsaken year.

Detective Murtaugh of 2020

BC: My back giving out upon bending over to change a light bulb

Chap: Trying to give Taylor Swift the ol' college try.

Larson: This damn pandemic!

Bronco: I'm too old for being stuck in my house all day, every day, listening to the rest of my family non-stop. I need this shit to end. I can't listen to my kids anymore... not all day. It's crushing me.

Code: now that i own a car again, my favorite pastime has become zoning out to a good album on a long drive and seeing if i can reach an arbitrary mpg number for my trip.

JD: I remember browsing the racks at Media Play and getting mad at every magazine that ranked Love and Theft ahead of Is This It? in 2001 and 19 years later I came thisclose to doing it m’self.

Bin: Arizona, Pennsylvania, and Nevada taking their sweet ass time counting ballots

Resolution for 2020 Status

Larse: None How It Went: More than likely it was related to being better at this and this year was probably the worst of all time…

Code: i'm making it easier this year. catch ovlov, washer, EMA and colleen green live this year. bonus points: see dom's much anticipated return to the stage. How It Went: ain’t caught but a one!

Bronco: Build a vinyl collection. I know I dumped on Brendon for suggesting he press copies of Carpet Affair, but my kid's getting way into music and listening to it on his own (via Alexa in my bedroom which is super fucking annoying), so we're getting him his own record player and I think it's going to be a cool activity to go record store diving for whatever classics we can scrounge up. How It Went: Started the vinyl collection. Went record store diving with John at the beginning of the year. He picked up Ride the Lightening. And I've got an original pressing of Back in Black on its way, didn't make it in time for Christmas. I decided on purchasing that album, then a day or two later John said, "I think I know what I want my next record to be...Back in Black". Sad it didn't make it in time, but psyched I was able to predict it.

Chap: Eh I'm cool How It Went: Ironically, reading back it contradicts what it says

Bren: See Phish in 2020 How It Went: Phish tickets purchased and ready

Bin: Send an email about music on the TBH! thread. How It Went: Ha! Set the bar low! Finally. Send an email about music? Check.... "can you believe Trump plays Fortunate Son unironically at campaign events???"

JD: Get to more shows. Take more aimless strolls spinning tunes. How It Went: Turns out I did a lot of sitting around inside this year.

Resolution for 2021

Bronc: Get vaccinated.

BC: Get vaxxed up and return to normalcy

JD: - Massively reduce my ‘news’ consumption to free up more time to spin tunes and smell the roses. - Get vaxed and get partying.

Code: see a live music concert

Nasty: I'm going to be ambitious. See a show with JD. Coward move to shy away from this in 2020.

Nicky: To start earlier. It takes me longer to get into new stuff. I didn't even like my top 4 until at least late December, but now I feel like they could compete with most years.

Laser: Be better at this! If anything, the pandemic should have allowed me to listen to more music whilst at home working, but it seemed to have the opposite effect…

Most Anticipated of 2021

BC: TWOD

Bronco: Mastodon, and live shows... not sure I even care which ones.

JD: Dry Cleaning, Park Hye Jin, Viagra Boys

Larse: No clue…

Chap: It's way too early!

Bin: Freedom of movement

Code: it seems like there should be a buncha new cool musical ideas to come out of this time indoors. something like this era's disco? a big celebratory sound that makes us all smile and move. in other words, the next dom album.

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tbhstudying1 · 7 years ago

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from for the dreams i want to catch https://ift.tt/2qv0SzV See More

some general tips for people with executive dysfunction

1. invest in a can of dry shampoo!!! they’re not particularly expensive (mine is batiste brand, i got it for $8). showering a lot can suck for low energy people, esp people who are trying to get their hair to adjust to getting washed less offten (hair gets oily very quickly after long periods of being washed every day) and this can save lot of time while also making you feel clean!!

2. BANANAS ARE A GODSEND. i get very sick in the morning, and im also perpetually low on energy, which usually makes me opt out of breakfast. but bananas are quick, easy, filling, and (fun fact) make you less nauseous somehow? idk. they’re great. if you never eat breakfast like me, try to start buying bananas more often as its a really good backup

(this one’s kind of big so ill break it down so its easier to read)

3. clean stuff as soon as possible rather than waiting for it to build up. it doesn’t have to be huge, time consuming tasks. just small steps to save yourself from some stress in the future.

pick up clothes from the floor the second you take it off and put it in the washing machine. you don’t have to turn it on or do the washing now, but now its off your floor which is great!

throw stuff in the trash can the first time around instead of having it pile up. take empty cups/plates into the kitchen right away (you can go around the house, or even just your room and pick up dishes whenever you need to take a break from working or studying)

quickly do your bed first thing!! it doesn’t have to be extremely neat, honestly just dust off your covers, fold it at the foot of your bed and fluff your pillows a bit!! it took a minute but now your room looks a lot cleaner!

4. break up everything into small tasks/create routines that are very specific! my example will be showering.

when i shower, i break it up into very very specific parts. the first thing, probably the hardest, is getting myself in the shower. focusing on how showering is not a stressful activity, how it feels good and how good you feel after can definitely minimize the amount of time i spend psyching myself to get up, as overtime the idea of showering becomes an intrinsic part of your day rather than a task or chore.

after i get myself in, the hardest part’s done, and i can relax. i do my routine, which at this point, has become a no brainer. my routine is: shampoo, conditioner (but i dont wash it out), body wash/soap, face wash, brushing my teeth (yes i brush my teeth in the shower fuck off two birds with one stone), and then finally i wash the conditioner out! this is weird but if im done extra quickly, i’ll let myself just stand there until the water runs cold bc idk i really like showering??

starting a new routine is always difficult but just stick with it. you can start introducing a routine one task at a time, you can remember to just wash your hair and then get out if thats all the energy you have today. and dont be ashamed about music in the shower!!! i played music on my phone in the shower every day for a year maybe? ive stopped now bc my last phone’s headphone port broke bc of water damage but anyway thats not relevant

5. keeping a calendar and planner is great in feeling good and organized. you dont have to get a super expensive bullet journal, just start small. i got my current calendar as a christmas gift (theres food puns every month i love it) and my school provides planners. dont feel obligated to use it EVERY DAY and constantly have the best handwriting. just keep it on your desk in class and at home for whenever you need it

6. music and podcasts are good for any time. waking up but feeling super anxious and you dont want to get up? music/podcasts drown out your thoughts and can help you start your day in a nice way. studying and feeling really bored and annoyed?? listen to your favorite songs. trying to go to sleep but your annoying brain wont shut up? nice chill podcasts, or even just longish youtube videos help.

music (especially instrumental music) is best for when you need to think and focus on a task. podcasts are good for menial tasks that dont require you to think that much, as podcasts are more engaging and have you focus on something so you feel less bored/procrastinatey!!!

my favorite songs to listen to when studying are actually playlists ive made! (here and here) and my podcast/video recommendations are off topic and grumpcasts/long game grumps videos, but i understand that this isnt for everyone (cw: lots of swearing, dark humor, stupid casual racism/sexism/transphobia/ableism but its just something i put up with bc i really like michael jones)

i can’t really think of anything else right now!! these are just all the things i do that actually do help a lot

i see lots of sentiment in the studyblr community that basically says “your future self wont be pleased with your pathetic excuses right now :)” and stuff like that and just…please remember that executive dysfunction is never “just an excuse”, it is a legitimate reason for not being able to complete tasks. feeling frustrated with yourself is normal, but you should never be made to feel guilty for not being able to do something, no matter how menial or how crucial. you’re great and you can do this <3

#IFTTT #for the dreams i want to catch

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tbhstudying1 · 7 years ago

Text

from for the dreams i want to catch https://ift.tt/2qv0SzV via See More

some general tips for people with executive dysfunction

(this one’s kind of big so ill break it down so its easier to read)

3. clean stuff as soon as possible rather than waiting for it to build up. it doesn’t have to be huge, time consuming tasks. just small steps to save yourself from some stress in the future.

pick up clothes from the floor the second you take it off and put it in the washing machine. you don’t have to turn it on or do the washing now, but now its off your floor which is great!

4. break up everything into small tasks/create routines that are very specific! my example will be showering.

i can’t really think of anything else right now!! these are just all the things i do that actually do help a lot

#IFTTT #for the dreams i want to catch

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