#'A cat and a bat; The bat is uptight causing them to fight. But the cat knows better and won't let it upset her. An endeavor forever...'

[gothamvengeance]

@clawsextended

BOUND (1996) dir. Lana & Lilly Wachowski

[energonbunny]

First of all, LOVE your blog! Secondly, have any recommendations on Sterek Fanfics?!? I feel like I've read them all but I always need more!!!

Thanks! We’ve been mutuals for a while now and it’s always nice to see you pop up :) I actually have a sideblog entirely dedicated to TW so if you’re looking for a blog that focuses on it then maybe take a look at that, too. @wheredidhiseyebrowsgo is probably the best blog I know when it comes to fic recs/finding fics/etc. so you should give them a follow!

As for Sterek recs, oh geez… So, fun fact, on ao3 I actually have over 700 Sterek works bookmarked! And then I know there’s a ton of little ficlets in my likes on here, too, and really my point is just that there are so many great Sterek works and I will list some of my all time favs in case you haven’t seen them. And I do love all of these but my super-duper faves will have a ★ next to them. I started at the back of my ao3 bookmarks and went in about five pages I figured 25 would be good enough for now, especially since some of them are series so that’s actually more.

★★★He Fucks My Best Friend by mydickisthealpha (667 words, rated M)

“I, for one, would like to vote to keep this as part of all the meetings,” Lydia announces and Stiles flushes scarlet basically everywhere. (My comment: short and funny, Stiles&Derek forget the pack is coming by and are having sex. Scott POV)

★★★As the Lights Go Down by standinginanicedress (62,890 words, rated E)

Stiles is standing there looking bizarre – which maybe isn’t a very nice thing or even a convincing thing to say about a person that Derek’s basically invited over to hook up with (whatever that even fucking means to kids these days) – but he…does. He’s wearing dark jeans, a black hoodie with the hood pulled up so Derek can’t even really see his face aside from his mouth and jawline, and he’s got that metal baseball bat in his fingers again.He looks like he’s come here to literally beat Derek to death.Then, he grins, lifts one shoulder up in a half shrug, and says, “I can’t come in until you invite me.”Derek is mystified enough that all he can say is, “really?” He thought that was a vampire thing.(My comment: AU but they’re all still supes. Stiles is a spark and they are powerful things, him even more so because of plot you should read. standinginanicedress has several good ones you might want to peruse.)

★★★The Domestic Series by thepsychicclam (149,239 words, various ratings)

First work’s description: It’s Saturday night, and Derek Hale is at Toys R Us. Shopping for Leapfrog games. If asked, it wasn’t exactly how he pictured his life. Or his Saturday nights. In which Derek and Stiles have been married for ten years, have two kids, and are planning their five year old’s birthday party.

(My comment: The domestic series is just parent Sterek fluff for the most part and it is absolutely wonderful. Realistic, I think, in the fights that happen and how Stiles&Derek fit together. I love the children.

Also @thepsychicclam has a lot of wonderful works besides this series that should be read if you haven’t but this is definitely my favorite.)

Nothing Short Of Perfect by GotTheSilver (27,019 words, rated E)

In which Derek and Stiles are made aware of their potential and have to make a choice about what their relationship will be.“Let me get this straight,” his dad says. “You’re telling me a witch told Derek and yourself that you could be destined to be together and now Derek will be going to college with you?”Stiles shrugs, resting his hands on his legs to stop himself from fidgeting. “That’s about it, yep.”

★★★My Heart Comes Tumbling Down by DevilDoll (5,689 words, rated E)

“This is a casual, adult relationship based on sex, and it is awesome.” In which Stiles and Derek have a great time buddyfucking until a burrito ruins it all. (my comment: devildoll is one of those I see rarely recced outside of SFiYE [below] and they have some really good other stuff, too)

★★★Stand Fast in Your Enchantments by DevilDoll (76,956words, rated E)

“Stiles knew damn well what a pissed-off wolf sounded like, and every hair on the back of his neck was telling him that somewhere in this room was a very pissed-off werewolf.” An AU in which Derek is feral, Stiles is magical, and they eat a lot of fast food.

Won’t Do Me No Good Washing in the River by DevilDoll (5,939 words, rated M)

“Remember, Derek: you never get back what you lost.” Story by Devil Doll, artwork by Rahciach, podfic by Jinxy. This story has a happy ending, but please read the tags. (My comment: Angst with a happy ending. Major character death but they are brought back.)

★★★The One with the Napping by Captain_Loki (4,768 words, rated M)

It is a unique and somewhat unhelpful talent, but Stiles can fall asleep anywhere. 

★★★[Sleep]Walking After You by relenafanel (56,551 words, rated M)

Derek is a sleepwalker who keeps wandering into his downstairs neighbour’s bedroom.Stiles is pretty sure the hot guy from the park is going to kill him in his sleep. He knows he shouldn’t have been so obvious about objectifying the guy’s really fine ass.Too bad it turns out Derek is easier to get along with when he’s sleeping.

★★★Play It Again by metisket (63,206 words, rated T)

In which Stiles goes along with one of Derek’s plans and ends up in an alternate universe as a result. He should’ve known better. He did know better, actually, and that means he has no one to blame but himself.“Laura wants to lure the kid in with food and kindness and make a pet of him, like a feral cat. Derek wants to have him arrested for stalking. They’re at an impasse. (And the rest of the family is staying emphatically out of it in a way that suggests bets have been placed.)”

Hemingway Can Suck It by KuriKuri (10,054 words, rated T)

“For those of you who just transferred into this class or simply decided that day one wasn’t important enough to attend, I’m Professor Hale. Welcome to English 346, The American Novel.”Stiles is pretty sure his mouth is hanging open right now and that his eyes are wide with shock, because holy fuck, he thinks he knows why his students transferred. Hell, if he was still an undergrad, he probably would have transferred, too. (Or: In which Stiles is a Biology professor and Derek thinks he’s a student.)

★★★Baking My Way Into Your Heart by theSilence (178,630 words, rated M)

Derek is an uptight college student, all work and no play. His carefully scheduled life is thrown kilter when his regular barista is replaced with someone new. (My comment: Coffee shop/college AU with slowburn. It’s beautiful.)

★★★The Well of Living Waters by Kalpurna (30,322 words, rated E)

King Derek takes a consort. (My comment: royalty AU. Demisexual Derek although I don’t think it’s explicitly tagged. So good.)

Pretty Human Virgin Boy Comes to the Pond- Feed Him All the Best Heads by Delta_Immortal (49,771 words, rated E)

Stiles knew it was a bad idea to go into the woods, but little did he know his actions would cause the death of everyone around him. Running from the thing that killed Danny, Scott and Stiles stumble upon a pond, which happens to hold a strange man named Derek who floats around in the middle of it. Derek assures them they’re safe now.What appears to be salvation is nothing more than the start of the death of everyone Stiles cares about. The being known as Derek haunts him at every turn, unsatisfied until Stiles succumbs to Derek’s whims. Stiles isn’t sure if that involves sexing him or eating him, and he really doesn’t want to find out.

(My comment: pay attention to the tags! This is not a fluffy Sterek fic; what sex there is in this is basically Derek mind fucking Stiles and possessing him. It’s good, I love it, but definitely heed the tags.)

★★★(Sacred) In the Ordinary by idyll (78,759 words, rated E)

The Pack, after college, graduate school and the starting of careers, comes back to Beacon Hills. Nothing’s gotten less complicated after all this time.Based on a kink meme prompt that grew legs and got serious.Note: This is a whole lot of pack!fic with a very slow build Derek/Stiles. (My comment: I have read this fic like 8 times now. The pack dynamics are wonderful and the gang is all older here, coming back to BH after college. Set after season one)

When the Bough Breaks by The Feels Whale (12,068 words, rated T)

Look, Stiles knows he’s not really part of the pack, but really? He wishes the others aside from Scott and Allison would stay a little more up to date on what’s going on his life beyond how it affects them. (my comment: Stiles adopts a baby. Scott is having a pissing contest w/ Derek over Stiles and Allison so Derek and his pack doesn’t actually know Stiles is adopting a baby. Adorable chaos ensues)

The Time Travelling Werewolf’s Confused Spirit Guide also by The Feels Whale (4,832 words, rated G)

Normally you don’t imagine yourself as living in the dystopian future that hapless time travelers accidentally stumble into.Or: that one where Stiles learns the hard way that reality is not static, time is not a river, and sometimes the way things are is not the way they were supposed to be.

How I Met My Werebunny by Moku (19,873 words, rated T)

“This is going to end in tears,” Scott told Derek while he watched the man easily lifting Stiles’ desk up with one hand and driving nails into the ceiling with the thumb of the other. “Probably mine.”Or:When a Stiles and a Failwolf love each other very much, they’ll engage in a prank war. Basically, it’s a mating ritual for dorks in love.

★★★For better, for worse by Vendelin (13,336 words, rated E)

Derek and Stiles have been married for six years. Derek loves his job as a successful lawyer, loves his financial security and his large house. It isn’t until Stiles gets shot while working that he starts to understand that maybe Stiles isn’t loving their life as much as Derek is.  (My comment: human AU! Stiles is a cop and gets shot in the line of duty. Derek hadn’t noticed they were drifting apart. Realistic with the coming back together & even has couples counseling. Angsty with a fluffy, happy ending.)

★★★the other shoe by stilinskisparkles (4,633 words, rated T)

They’re lounging on Derek’s bed one afternoon, Stiles halfheartedly trying to make headway on an essay, and Derek’s supposedly helping. Instead, Derek’s spent the last eight minutes mouthing lazily at Stiles’ shoulder, and Stiles is five seconds from giving up completely. (My comment: pretty much just fluff.)

★★★Those Are The Days That Bind Us by s_a_m (52,171 words, rated M)

His father wasn’t stupid. He was an officer of the law, trained to look for patterns. He confronted Stiles about werewolves and they shouted and Stiles tried to explain but his father was so, so, so mad, more mad than Stiles had ever seen him, ever in all his life and then his father looked at him and said, “It’s like you’re not my son anymore.”And Stiles broke.(My comment: I love this one. Has some major angst and an unborn baby does die due to a possession kind of thing. But out of all the “Stiles is kicked out of/leaves the pack” things this one is my favorite. I think Stiles’ progression through this is so good. It does have a happy ending but not without a lot of healing on Stiles’ end. Heed the tags.)

Divided We Stand by KouriArashi (156,742 words, rated M)

Derek is being pressured by his family to pick a mate, and somehow stumbles into a choice that they didn’t expect and aren’t sure they approve of….

(My comment: This is the first work in The Searching Ceremonies. All of it is A++ and even has wolfcop (Peter/Sheriff Stilinski). It’s all AU and the world is very well developed, plus every part of it is over 100k words. KouriArashi also has a lot of other wonderful works that should be checked out.)

Stilinski’s Home for Wayward Wolves by owlpostagain (35,197 words, rated T)

“At least your puppies knock first,” Stiles snorts. “Here I thought their alpha raised them to be well-mannered.” “There’s a sign,” Derek responds stiffly. Stiles, whose curiosity outweighs even his hardest of grudges, abandons his chilly façade of nonchalance in a heartbeat. He jumps right up and all but pushes Derek out of the way in his effort to get to the window, and sure enough when he leans outside there’s a laminated strip of cardstock duct taped to the vinyl siding: DON’T FORGET TO KNOCK Stiles gets cranky when we scare him—Or, in which Stiles Stilinski moves to Beacon Hills for his junior year of high school and accidentally adopts a pack of teenage werewolves.(my comment: fairly fluffy and humorous. owlpostagain is one of those that I never see recced and they have some amazing writing.)

here is the deepest secret nobody knows by owlpostagain (22,322 words, rated T)

“Derek,” Stiles groans. “You have me. You’ve always had me, you absolute moron, how many physically impossible feats of life-saving heroics do I have to perform before you get it?” (my comment: post s2 and the pack is just starting to come together. lots of pack feels)

will to follow through by owlpostagain (42,411 words, rated T)

“It depends entirely on how you look at it, I guess,” Stiles shrugs. “On the one hand, instant healing and the apparently inherited ability to pull off leather at all times. On the other, serious attitude problems and a suspicious disappearance of eyebrows.”“Even Derek’s?” Danny snorts, “that’s a lot of eyebrow to lose.”“I know,” Stiles agrees. “You should see, it’s so weird. Every time I want to ask him where they go, except he’d totally eat my face off.”“There are worse ways to die.” (my comment: Danny&Lydia&Stiles ultimate friendship post season 2. So good.)

[gothamvengeance]

Bryce's face... well, it's hard to say what kind of expression she's making at the moment. Embarrassed? Delighted? Happy? Concerned? Well, it's on the positive end of the spectrum, that much she knows for certain.

Because an act like this? With Selina? There are no negatives to it; only positives. And the fact that the cat doesn't pull away afterward makes it all the sweeter.

Like a piece of hard candy with a liquid core filling.

They had their spats, their back and forth. But now that the shell has been cracked, that liquid core is spilling out, and it's delicious. Not in a- oh, whatever. It didn't matter how she registered it. It was special; just for the two of them. That mattered more than anything else!

She can't help herself; carefully moving to pick up Selina, supporting her with both hands just so she could be held closer; their faces even nearer. "Am I?" The question was sincere, the fluster not having left Bryce's face.

She ponders it over for a moment. And rather than argue, rather than play it off. She let out a very soft hum as the realization set in. "That's because of you..." But it was hard to believe that Bryce could be genuinely sweet. She wasn't mean or anything towards Alfred; but it's different. And Selina did bring out the softer side of Bryce.

Give her a reason to spend home beyond going in and out on the daily...

"Or you could thank yourself, because you gave me a reason to do so." Lowering her head, Bryce accepted the hair being tucked behind her ear. The urge to slick it back replaced by the gentle touch of the cat, one she practically nuzzled her hand into; causing a few more strands of hair to slide down her face.

“oh. oh. god, no. no, like, i’d never want to leave. and i’d never want you to. i know when it’s a me thing and not a thing thing. holly genuinely loves it here. and it’s your place.”

she likes to think of this as the benefit for her inability to bond. if she can’t attach, how does she even know what it feels like? how does she know the opposite? everything within her reach ends up damaged. she leaves claw marks on everything she touches.

not this. not here. here she behaves. she tries to temper the steel she is to something more silken, more mercifully gentle. she tries to be something that can be handled without harming.

her head shakes. a little joyously. a tiny bit silly.

“i could totally hold you, are you kidding? you think these muscles are for show?”

they’re not. she winks.

and then the motion sets the cat off balance. she sees it coming but she still feels her stomach flip, flop, flip again. it does a couple somersaults she, herself, couldn’t even manage. the kiss is warm, terribly honest, and it’s brevity is the soul of everything she’s ever loved. she can agree nothing, there is nothing like an indulgence such as this.

she gently settles her arms around a much steadier neck, that smile twitching warmly into a grin. it’s almost halfway lopsided in its endeavor to remain. it’s a smile in every sense of the word, and where bryce blushes, selina only settles out to a rosy shade of honest pink.

she’s designed for this kind of warmth — the joy permeates her bones, replaces the marrow with a solution she thinks would be a vibrant aquamarine. it would be, should be, something electric. she presses her nose to the bat’s with an almost tangible hum, that bone marrow aforementioned not the only thing that must be ever so bright. she thinks she gets the whole eyes sparkling descriptor, suddenly. she’s never felt so light.

she cannot feel an ounce of that usual fear that sticks to her so impermeably. nothing scrapes it free of her skin, but this doesn’t have to. nothing so vulgar or harsh as scraping, it’s too much a gentling. like thin, flaky pastry crusts laid lovingly over something baked for someone else. she’s halfway repaired by it, she thinks. and then catches herself — but decides she deserves it anyway.

“wow, aren’t you a sweetheart?”

she touches bryce’s cheek fondly, her smile tinkling a watt or so brighter. taps their foreheads together so carefully.

“—a brave one. and thank god for that”

she tucks a strand of dark hair behind the bat’s ear, beaming.

[gothamvengeance]

Bryce gave an apologetic look as Lina pointed out that the lock had already been prepared. Of course... Selina would think of such things. Bryce didn't; she didn't think about those things. She had other precautions. But there hadn't been a child in this estate since the death of her parents. "I understand... We should look for some additional security measures."

"We already have enough secret tunnels and hidden doors in this place. Might as well make a few for Holly."

She listens. The cat is always wise... the bat remains dense. But she learns quickly. With enough prep time, Bryce could do anything; that included try and fulfill the wishes of the woman she had just reached out to gently guide back into a half-embrace. One arm around her waist, the other taking one of the cat's proverbial paws. Fingers running along those of hers.

"You should argue with Alfred in my stead; he keeps complaining I'm a pain to get presents for. I don't agree, of course, but, well." She laughs, softly, fondly. Swaying Selina along to no particular rhyme, and in no particular pattern. "Don't call yourself that, though. You're nothing like that, you are so much more than anyone can understand."

"You can still decorate our room as you please. We can get your bed and have it brought here if you'd like."

Our room.

There was no more reason to keep any distance, to tiptoe around the fact. And Bryce didn't keep it this way for some nostalgic reason. She just didn't care; she was barely ever there. But a solid bed? That was something the both of them needed.

Bryce let out a silent snort as she closed her eyes. "Do they even exist? Sounds like a myth to me." She's laughing, playfully. A good night's rest? Neither of them knew what that meant. "I have seen and experienced many strange things in Gotham. But that? That remains illusive to me. And no money in the world can buy it, supposedly."

That one she had tried before. No stimulant, or relaxation medicine helped. Not even her own produced ones had the desired result. On her at least... Doubted they'd do much for Lina either; but she'd offer at some point.

the cat giggles.

honest to god, what a sound, wind-chimes and tinkling and bells, bells, bells. it’s every ounce of light in the whole universe condensed. if nihilism, if the void is yawning, then this is all-encompassing — the sound of her laugh is an embrace all its own. she raises a hand demurely to curl fingers at her own breast with a charmed little sigh, girlish.

it isn’t unkind — it’s too delighted to be unkind. the naked joy in that pitch is unavoidable, high and tinny. she smiles easily.

“thank you. i appreciate your honesty.”

kiss her wherever you want, she’ll take it. it’s the affection that matters, the intent. it’s the way it’s given, the softness with which it’s imparted, the tender nature of it all. she’s unused to being treated so softly but it’s a welcome change. eyes lid in a heavy, calm blink — it’s not untrue cats blink just like that when they feel safe — that heavy, prolonged close, that flutter of dark lashes.

bryce’s romantic notions — and selina is sure she can call her just that, romantic — are nothing but endearing to her. as fast or as slow as she likes, kiss her anywhere she might want. a kiss is still a kiss, selina often reminds. what’s the shakespeare thing, she’ll start, wiggling her fingers while she’s talking, a rose by any other name or whatever?

“it means a lot to me, y’know.”

it’s so incredibly tender. if you bent the sound of her voice it would break, snap in half like something brittle. the delicacy to it is not a thing this world can hold, requires the shell of protection she might call her tendency toward violence. but beneath that is only the propensity to feel in a way so raw it could rend her in two with ease.

“for thinking of me. and holly. she does have a lock. i made sure to give her one. —frankly, we’ve both been through enough home invasion situations not to both have locks. being catwoman’s kid comes with occupational hazards.”

that’s true enough. she’s not exempt from the lethal parts of the job. if you asked her, now, if she’d do it differently — she doesn’t know if she’d say she would. she doesn’t know if she’d never pick up a mantle of her own making. she doesn’t know if the cat would’ve existed, but some part of her thinks that’s the inevitability she can never escape. she decides just as quickly it was always absolute. bats and cats can’t be disentangled, one needs the other for a balance to remain.

“as for me? i don’t really want anything changed. you know me, i’m pretty muted when it comes to decorating. and the nicest thing i own that’s not jewelry is probably my admittedly nauseatingly decadent four-poster bed. it probably sounds surprising but i’m not really a things for the sake of things girl. like— yeah, frivolous dumb bitch is my m.o., but it’s literally bullshit. —mmmmmm, mostly.

—it’s a lot easier to get gifts for holls. for you. fuck, for alfred.

i don’t. like. need anything. well. i do. but i just… wanna know what it’s like to get a decent night’s sleep first.”

she shrugs, meek, glancing away, almost uncharacteristically shy. her mouth twitches as if an emphatic strike of punctuation.

[gothamvengeance]

A free hand slicks Bryce's hair back. Droplets hitting her bare shoulders. A bad habit of hers that only three people got to see. A habit that sometimes even the Bat did when deep in thought; despite no hair being free from the cowl.

And it still occurred even after just taking a shower...

There was no real reason for this. This wasn't some sort of prelude to anything. Bryce would never think that far. She had to ask, had to plan. Didn't dare do things on impulse. Especially not when it's about the cat. They're skittish, and the bat made a promise.

But it just felt... right?

The way they were sitting on the edge of the bed, the way Selina had crawled over to be closer to her. What were they even talking about before? She doesn't know, leaning in to press their foreheads together. Hot breath tangling with that of Selina's as either could close the gap.

But rather than do so, Bryce grabs the towel from her shoulder and slowly drags it down to her lap. Leaving behind tiny spots of moisture on her tank top and joggers. "Good Kitty..." She... purred? Yes she did. Something she had picked up from Selina; didn't even think about it when it passed her lips, either. She just kept staring.

She could keep staring forever...

@gothamvengeance asked: Bryce's fingers run along Selina's jawline, spidering down her throat and hooking her index finger to the collar. Faces closer together as Bryce peers past damp locks, her breathing heavier than usual.

"Good girl kitty..."

cat’s still — spring-loaded, isn’t she? paused and watching, breaths contained quietly behind the calm tilt of a head. her eyes are soft and brown, chestnut, impossibly tender. they remain rapt in that gaze, limitless, going and going for hours, days, since the very moment they first met. the bat might think that the cat’s got her in her palm, but that would be a silly statement.

she’s entirely stupefied when it comes to bryce. oh. good kitty.

pupils blow soundlessly and easily without so much as a — blink. eyes flick to a mouth that she finds herself fixated on on every level of her consciousness. she’s aware of everything, and nothing outside this sphere. she immediately gravitates toward bryce, body easily drawn in at that beckoning tug, every orchestrated to get closer, closer.

she can’t not kiss her. what is she supposed to do…? not? insane. she doesn’t even have another thought. (she doesn’t even have that thought. every thought has left her.)

god. god. she could beg to hear it again. she is a good kitty, isn’t she?

[gothamvengeance]

"I trust you, Selina." Bryce was quick to answer. And despite it seeming like a desperate attempt at confirming feelings. It was nothing but the truth.

Bryce trusted Selina from the very moment they met. Perhaps instinctively? Who knew. But even as they were just Batwoman and Catwoman, Bryce was not worried about Selina with her bike. Just annoyed that it always disappeared without notice. Because she could handle it. Better than Bryce ever could...

"I'd do a trust fall exercise with you. But I'm not sure if you can hold me physically." A teasing look, one that didn't last long as it was replaced for something softer, genuine.

Her eyes fall shut as she is knighted by the lips of the most noble of women in the land. To know that she was acknowledged by the Lady Selina of Kyle, Dame of Cats and Mother of Young Lady Hollyanne.

She jested mentally, but the action was not lost on Bryce. This wasn't a trick, a tease, a diversion. It was for her...

"I'm sorry... The Estate is large and empty. I always liked that. But now it feels too big for the four of us. But I cannot bare moving out." She couldn't. Her family home, her ancestral home... "But we can make it more homely, more in line with what you'd feel comfortable in. Alfred might complain a little, but I think he'd be glad to see some life in this place."

A soft chuckle falls from Bryce's lips as she imagines Selina swinging from the chandeliers. Leaning closer to brush their foreheads together as the Heiress' eyes fall shut. "Try hanging from the gargoyles, it's great. They're also sturdy enough to hold people built more like me."

"And many people find them uncomfortable to look at. It's excellent for scaring the superstitious criminals... Is it too late to turn into Gargoyle woman?"

She chuckles, short-lived.

Breath hitches.

She adored this woman so much. She, who had managed to break through the kevlar of the suit. Who saw behind the cowl. And who knew how to handle who was behind it.

Ah...

Pardon her language, but; fuck it.

Bryce acts fast, but still makes every step clear. Makes it clear that Selina can stop her, that Selina can say no.

Hand brushing along her cheek, gently cupping it as she cradles her face upward. Bryce leans forward, head tilted, and;

if not stopped.

Finally decides to press her lips to those of Selina.

Short, sweet.

Just long enough.

Her face is red, merely from trying. A new fact coming to light; information that Alfred would pay Selina handsomely for.

If Bryce blushes, her eyes droop a little, and one could spot some redness near her forehead. A blushing Bryce? Unheard of. A laughing one was rare enough as is..

there’s a fundamental difference between them, one selina cannot word properly. bryce has a foundation, something she had been before the bat. being the wayne heiress is a self, regardless of what shade. thomas and martha will always be where she looks back to consider her choices.

and for selina, that rock doesn’t exist.

her foundations are built entirely on sand, unmoored, require reinforcement day after day. blowing her to bits is only functional if she isn’t alone to pick up the pieces, and the pieces are jagged. the parts of her that hurt and beat so fervently slice, burn her palms when she tries to gather them. she needs help suturing the damage as she repairs it.

she’s spent so much of her life bleeding out alone, and the only thing she knows how to be with herself is cruel. she isn’t kind when it comes to her own patience, isn’t loving or gentle with herself in any capacity whatsoever. she asks herself why her skin cannot grow scar tissue fast enough to thicken against injury. she picks up the pieces and cuts her hands open and insists she be quiet, it’s only pain. there are bruises that dust her body faintly, scars in the shape of her own mouth decorating wrists, hands, the ever-present hinge of her jaw. without direction, her foundations crumble.

there’s no cat without the bat. bats need cats, it’s a universal understanding.

“i don’t ever want you to go anywhere. i just want you to trust me. i want you to believe i’ve got you. and you’re already doing that.”

she bestows a kiss on a cheek that could obliterate a lesser woman. it’s so gentle, bestowed rather than given, more sacred than any holy sword. love matters far more. the color of her fading pink lipstick leaves a shimmering mark at the heiress’s face.

“you get it. same way i want you. and i know that it’s hard to keep that in sight but… i feel how i feel, nothing could drag me away from that. i like it here. yeah, it feels weird, but —

i feel weird about everything. it takes getting used to. and with you here it doesn’t feel so…. daunting.”

not so anymore, not nearly as much. it’s less frightening if she has someone beside her who isn’t as frightened, someone who isn’t afraid to navigate a world she doesn’t understand. the concept of parent-teacher at a fancy fucking private school? she’s going to have a stroke (and get her kid detention forever. is that how that works? she didn’t go to school.)

“there’s nowhere else i’d rather be. with you. doing literally whatever. —gotta admit, i love hanging from the ceiling. chandeliers and me? best friends.”

she smiles warmly. it lights up her face unavoidably.

“stay with me. stay with me forever. let me be selfish, then. just like this. just this once.”

[gothamvengeance]

"I have been known to spartan things too." Primarily when it came to learning combat and other techniques. An unintended side effect probably came in the form of her always pushing so hard with everything. And with all this newfound information, she was certain she wasn't helping the situation by pushing too much before.

Bryce didn't mean to sound so meek and submissive, but she couldn't help but utter a very soft: 'Yes, Selina.' In response to making mistakes together. It was a simple request. Simple, yet difficult. But Bryce had made a promise, and she'd stick to it. If there was one thing Bryce was, it was consistent in her actions.

She might make mistakes, but once she learned to stop making them: she stopped making them.

Her eyes grow weary, tired, exhausted; but in a good way. Selina always made Bryce exhausted and tired. Oh how wrong that sounded, but for these two it was a good thing. The lack of sleep between them was enough to keep half of Gotham awake. But Selina brought comfort, stability and a need to take things a little slower. The guard was down.

Shoulders eased, fingers softly running along Selina's cheek, and along her hairline. Forehead leaning in to gently put them together. Fingers still acting with affirming touch about how much she adored her.

Her heart melts, her heartbeat slows. She dares to even admit that the corners of her eyes are stinging a little.

When was the last time anyone ever said that she wanted to be with her, and wanted her to be herself? Not even those lusting after the Wayne Heiress flattered her with such words. The only one who said such words was her father figure, the only family she had left: Alfred. But he 'wanted' something else from her.

Selina didn't want that. Selina just wanted her, just wanted Bryce. Complete with masquerade and all. And Bryce wanted the exact same thing from Selina...

"No..." Bryce's voice is barely even a whisper, like her words cannot escape the waterfall of emotion within her throat. Thankfully, the corners of her eyes don't go past merely stinging.

"I don't want you to let go..."

"It's cheap to copy your words. But I want you, Selina. All of you."

"I want you hanging from the ceiling as I arrive to the scene, beaten by you yet again. I want you sitting by the window with me as we split a cigarette and spray ourselves down before heading back to the kitchen so Holly doesn't shout at us for the scent of smoke in our clothes."

"I want you when you're bundled in my cape and I can pick you up and lay down with you, both taking a much-needed power nap."

She's going for it. She wants to so badly. That overflow of emotions needs an outlet.

Carefully, she pulls her head away from Selina and leans forward a bit to make-up for their height. Craning her head a little. Her eyes are searching Selina's. Is it okay? Stop her if you don't want to. She's barely making any progress in the first place, inching so slow that it might take weeks to get where she wanted to.

And all because she wasn't confident. They affirmed their affections for one another. But was it enough for this step?

Was Bryce being an idiot again and reading the mood wrong?

"I just want to wake up, come home, or turn around and see you. No matter what..."

"If you're a needy cat, then I'm a clingy bat. Because I can't even flap my wings to get away from you..."

“i know you can. but i don’t want you to. i’ve been spartan’ing everything my whole life.”

hands ever so lovingly touch cheeks again — hand held captive by all that affection, received with a slowly growing smile. she’s deliriously happy for just a moment, nearly spun off in this tiny little shot of serotonin. bryce can’t understand — or maybe she can, maybe for her it’s an ache as severe as it is for the cat.

she beats for it, doesn’t she? she hurts. it sits inside her chest, lives inside her heart, her stomach. her veins, her whole body needs it. the lack of that touch is something so tangible she could squeeze it tight in her palms. the way it feels is nothing short of real.

she feels so much better as close as she can get — like every single moment is relief, relief, relief. all the anger felt before drains out of her like a rush of blood. she’s left only with the understanding sea of calm — she’s here, she’s here, she’s here.

“you’ve got all the space you need. make mistakes. just do it with me. fuck knows i’m gonna make them too.”

she’s going to. bryce might sometimes bring out the more responsible in her, the parts of her that are practical — but she knows a lot of her own flaws, much clearer now that she’s been so shaken.

a lot’s clearer to her now (and she hates that, too, but she’s learning to hate it less.)

she’s learning to hate these things about her, these necessary things she’s developed to survive, less. learning to hate herself less for that volatile panic, for those sharp teeth she lashes out with. learning to understand why these things are sharpened, learning to recognize why these knives are knives.

she takes a hand in her own and places it ever so carefully on her cheek, leans into the bat’s touch with a soft hum. breath tickles those preciously adored creases, every little section filled ever more and more with adoration. love, that’s all there is. she blinks enormous, mahogany brown eyes up at the other.

“i want to be with you. and i want you to be you. batwoman, bryce, either one, both of them. i want you to get that i want all of you.”

the sincerity in her tone overflows immediately. she kisses knuckles, then.

“you at two in the morning after patrol. you at two in the afternoon bent over a bunch of schematics. you in kevlar or you in sweatpants. without expectations. not a one in sight. i’ve never expected anything of you. i so won’t start now.”

she wants to kiss her, and she thinks about it, but instead she softly presses against the jut of that jaw. stays there, doesn’t move, breathes only in. relief, again, the taste of it.

“i’m really selfish. i don’t know how to let go. it’s kind of embarrassing, isn’t it?”

her eyes close.

“whoever heard of a cat being so needy?”

[gothamvengeance]

Baby. Those words make Bryce melt on the spot. If she has ever had the urge to kiss Selina, then this would trump them all. To just, hold those lovely shaded cheeks, and kiss her. Over and over. Just to show her HOW much she cared...

Bryce gently brings Selina closer. Or as close as possible; no matter how much either of them would be interested in it: they couldn't meld together in the literal sense. After which, she just took Selina's hands into her own and put their foreheads together. To just... be near, to be as close as possible.

"You weren't a hateful child. You were a child that was hated for no reason. You had no involvement in that matter... I'm well aware of my privilege. But I do firmly believe that children do not have a choice in the matter and parents, adults in general, should look after them. It's what you're doing with Holly right now."

She heard Lina speak about the Bat. She was flattered, sincerely so. But that wasn't what she focused on. The fact Selina pulled through? That mattered most to Bryce. She was glad to have helped, but it could've been a random fortune cookie's paper slip for all she cared.

"But I don't think we would've gotten along well, on that I can agree. I was a very snooty kid. And when my parents passed away, I just became cold."

Without Alfred; well. Who knows what she might've become.

She exhales, wasn't even aware she had been holding it. "I don't want to fight you either, Selina..." Even though it wouldn't even really be a fight. Bryce would just take the brunt of it because she'd refuse to attack Selina. She'd just provoke the situation further. Let Selina vent it all out on her. It was unfair. But Bryce only saw that now. How it painted Selina in a certain light when it was so far removed from the truth. Selina was the sweetest, most caring woman Bryce had ever met. Perhaps only rivaled by... her mother.

So to have Selina be mad? Be angry? Yeah. It'd be a disservice to her.

Bryce closes her eyes, exhaling softly. This time, she's aware of the breath she had been holding. Nodding along to Selina's words. Requests. Gentle suggestions. And advice from a woman who understood her. The Bat had high demands. But it'd be okay. With Selina, it'd be okay...

Letting her hands move from the woman's cheeks down to her shoulders, she gently leans forward. Hesitating and decides on a kiss to Selina's forehead instead. She wants to give her a real kiss. One in the stories and movies. A true kiss to seal the deal. That sort of thing.

But there was something Bryce had to say first. Selina should already know, her actions and words probably revealed everything in her mind. But no. Selina deserved a verbal answer. She had been through so much because of Bryce.

"I can do that.

"You'll jump against the wall, I'll give you a boost... Like we'd be wrapped together with rope. I'll have some extra made. Till your ears fall off. Till mine fall off. Already doing so."

"I'll try, give me some time."

And for the last one.

Bryce smiles, bringing Selina's hand up to pepper it in kisses once more. Gently nuzzling her hand against it, letting out a low, tired humming. "I am very patient. Comes with the field." The field of being Batwoman. Patience is something she had in spades. And while it didn't always track over into her personal life, she could learn to do so.

She could learn a lot of things for Selina...

"Give me the space to make mistakes; and I will do the same for you. And with that space, we can give it a name. We can stop making less egregious mistakes."

"Will that work? Or should I spartan it?"

Because for her, she'd do anything.

“baby, you are my favorite person in the fucking world. i think sometimes it crushes me flat that you don’t know that. —bryce wayne, i hate everybody, but i love you.”

the little flick at the collar makes her giggle softly in a way she can barely contain. it’s strange and musical and light and it floats, oh, it floats, through and into the bat’s shapely ears. she flushes a rose pink with delight, entirely demure, immensely moved and yet standing in one place. she can’t express the way her skin sings with it, buzzing and buzzing. she’s aching to feel it, the familiar, necessitated press of skin, the desperate warmth she so inherently seeks out. she needs the bat with a need that can’t be expressed in words. every touch of affection is ecstatically received even in her silence.

“i wish you got it, y’know? like. i wish you could see the bat the way i do. as a hero, yeah, but who gives a fuck about that? as my hero. i’d be dead without you. a thousand times over. because you stopped it from happening, because you stopped me from being an asshole. because — you texted me, or you called me, or my kid mentioned you and suddenly you were all that mattered, right next to her next breath.

you’ve believed in me when i couldn’t give a fuck about myself. without you, i’d be fucking roadkill. bane would be picking my bone marrow out of his teeth. i’d be splattered across innumerable walls. you’ve kept me alive.

and sometimes…? you’ll get a soda with me. you won’t flip shit when i steal the bike — i do always fill the tank and rotate the tires — and i put it right back. fuck, sometimes you’ll pass it right by and you won’t even mention it. i’d say i wish i knew you as a kid, but it wouldn’t have gone nicely. i was a… uniquely hateful child.”

to put it mildly. shoulders laden with muscle wrapped around the bat’s tremendously slender frame, somehow both those things, selina will never know, shrug uncaringly. she’s only ever that little girl with the bloody knees, but she knows her too well — she is enormously guilty of that murder, that becoming she’s been through to be who she is. to live.

but all things have consequences. the cat’s paying them, but in this moment it dissipates. it floats up and away from her now, effusive as her giggle earlier, as the bubbles in a bath. her troubles are ephemeral in this intimacy. she breathes out quietly with another calm hum, ever nuzzling unconsciously.

she finds herself calming down in degrees, in platforms. every second takes her down and down and down until she can finally be something close to dare she think peaceful. she shakes her head, entirely canine as equally as she is feline. her voice is soft.

“i don’t want this to mean we have to fight.”

whispered murmur is quieter and quieter, sincere, too, and she absolutely can���t help it. it pours out of her like a hemorrhage. she clings, effective as she can be, that little girl entirely capable, now, of seeing the other in an absolute way. she doesn’t shrink from the closeness, the intimacy.

she doesn’t see a reason to. she’s been desperate for it for an age.

“i need you to get that. i don’t want to fight. I don’t want to argue or yell at you. fuck, i don’t want to be mean to you. like, i can be upset, option a—“

she holds up a hand, one short, blunt, coral painted nail shining glossy and neat (if not nestled beside tiny red drops of dried blood that paint the beds of each cuticle, ten tiny rubies, almost as spotless as her polish) as she raises them. an arm easily raises beneath the bat’s hold to crook digits in view. speaks plainly, again, eyes tremendous and brown and blinking almost metronomically.

“—or option b—“

she raises a second slender finger, the pads of it worn finely to sand, slate-smooth and empty. she erases herself on purpose, did long ago.

“—i understand your point of view, i accept your apology, we figure the fuck out why it happened and understand neither of us wanted shit to go down how it did. but we’re both livewires, it’s bound to happen. like i said, it’s all in how you handle it.”

she has had an awful lot happen in a short span of time. or, relatively short. long…? she struggles to perceive it. but she’s pretty fucking exhausted after therapy, meds, adjustment to meds— oh, and having her head put in a reverse bear-trap and her throat slit when she fucking survived it. that, too.

she cannot win.

unless she forces herself to, which she will do.

“I’m cool with whatever. just… help me out. stick with me. lend me your cape. talk when you need it. listen when i need it. love my kid.

let me help you when i can. and just… honestly, i could use all the patience in the world. i. uh. am embarrassingly full of apologies.”

[gothamvengeance]

Fingers ran along Bryce's jawline as she fell into thought. She heard Selina's words, agreed with them. Naturally. They didn't even need to be spoken out loud for Bryce to agree with these things. While she would offer her suggestions and opinions when it came to raising Hollyanne; Selina was her mother first and foremost. Her opinion mattered the most. (Outside of Holly's own of course.)

Bryce was there to support.

"How about this weekend we go buy some things for Holly? Her room is mostly hers in spirit, but she can do more with it. The old furniture we can just put in the storage room. I have held onto this... outdated decor enough. And there are places that I will not touch up. But Holly's spaces should be entirely hers. She can paint it whatever she wants, I will buy whatever wallpaper she desires."

"I'll even build her, her own furniture if she rather has that."

"And a lock." Bryce added, thumb slipping away from her jaw as she turns her attention back to Selina. "So she can lock her room if she wants. She should have her own private space that is entirely her own."

The four people in this household know that should anything occur, it'd be easy to open that door anyway. Bryce could just kick it down, Selina and Alfred could pick the lock. And she wanted to discuss some other hiding or emergency exits with Holly for her own safety. But privacy was important for a child. Bryce got a room with a lock as well when she was little...

But she was too much of a parents' kid to stay away from them.

Bryce let out a groan, not wanting to linger on the topic of her shame. Brycie... what a mask...

"No, there's absolutely nothing of me in her. Everything is made to be as far away from me as possible, and it is me who puts on the cowl. Brycie's lips are pink, Batwoman's are black, mine are neutral. Everything is a conscious decision."

Sure it might be fun but no. No... Selina would never let her forget it. Absolutely not.

Quietly. Bryce thinks about Selina's words in silence.

She always thinks about her words, because the Cat is wise. And the Bat is dense. They pair up well, they fill in the gaps of one another. But going with the flow?

"You're saying difficult things again, Lina. But receiving permission to kiss you is never something I will turn down." She's leaning forward, closing the distance between them. She's hesitant still- correction. She's always hesitant.

When it comes to kissing, she always wants to make sure it's okay, she doesn't want to do anything. ANYTHING. That'll chase off Selina.

But after lingering for a moment, she does make the move to softly put her lips to...

Selina's forehead.

She tried, give her that much credit at least.

a hand gently touches a nose in a motion just before it leaves. she feels the aftershocks, feels the places that touch was. she sees it like the myth of chemtrails made real, imagines all those places almost bright, nearly glowing. she can see every single trail of a fingertip. she imagines it and then sees it all turn off.

“that’s all i want. i want her to be happy. i want her to be safe. i want her to do the right thing, even if it’s hard. i want her to love in every way she can and i want her to be loved. know she’s always got a home to go home to, and that’s me.

—i guess.. yeah. maybe she’s a little bit like me. we both have the same dimples.”

she taps one cheek and then the other. her grin flashes and then disappears. it’s merely a gift given, wrapped in something softer than silk. she gives these little pieces of her tenderness as it’s built on shaky, staggering limbs.

and the cat’s eyebrow arches. her mouth flickers into a soft grin, and when bryce flicks a bang back, selina chases the gesture. her own touch finds another avenue, displaces strands of hair to tuck them lovingly behind an ear. lashes are long, expression demure. she shakes her head before pressing another token of absolute affection to the bat’s nose.

“your loss, gorgeous. i happen to think brycie is pretty cute. daph seconds that. it’s a ubiquitous agreement from both of us. come on. you can’t tell me there’s no you in brycie. plenty of me in daph, when i’m acting.”

her nose wrinkles tightly and then twitches, a little bunny of a thing. her head shakes again. she blinks like she can’t fathom something, and truly, she can’t. to ask her to understand caring this much about someone else’s opinion… well, that’s a hard sell when it comes to selina. she takes bryce into account when she makes choices, but she’d be a liar if she said she worried about what she thought.

but that’s not in her nature. concerning herself with how others view her is… almost impossible for her. if she started doing that, she thinks she’d go validly insane.

“whatever you want. kiss me, don’t. do what feels right to you. but don’t stress about it. you’re my person either way.

—the moment is the moment. right now’s right now. this moment.”

she taps the bat’s nose.

“i’m really laidback. don’t worry. i’ll teach you how to go with the flow when you suffer from chronic, suffocating anxiety.”

she’s still standing here, after all.

[gothamvengeance]

Bryce closes her eyes at the information passed on. She kept learning about Holly; and about Selina. Always snippets, never entire stories. There was always another piece of a puzzle being offered. Never too much, never completed puzzles. Pieces that Bryce always had to put together herself. Whether intentional or not, Bryce preferred it this way. When they shared, she listened. And when words or hints were dropped, she'd take them to heart.

There were a bunch of damaged people in this estate...

"Like I promised before. I'll be more considerate from now on. This also includes to Holly. I never meant-" Bryce stops herself. Hand drawing along her chin, then she simply exhales. No reason to bring it up, to start apologizing again. Selina knows. They discussed this all in great detail. No reason to dredge up the same over and over, it will only grow tiresome. "I'll do better."

But Bryce shakes her head, reaching out to take Selina's hand. Thumb gently caressing each knuckle. She can pull away, there's never a tight hold. Because Bryce wants her to have the option to, to not overwhelm her. Bringing that hand closer she offers a peck to the back of it. "Don't say that."

"I know what you're trying to say, but you can say it without putting yourself down. And there are absolutely parts of you that shine through in that kid. And... that's a good thing."

"When a child is raised properly and with love, they have aspects of their parents left behind in them." Sadly, negative traits can also stick around. But Selina was working so hard, so very, VERY hard to not let anything negative stick to Holly. And not to herself, either. "And I see those good aspects."

Bryce huffs and release Selina, slicking fingers through her hair. That annoying habit. Yet, she refuses to cut her bangs. Alfred has begged her several times. And has now started trying to use Selina and Hollyanne to make it happen.

"Not happening. I don't think there's any aspect of me I'm more embarrassed about than Brycie." A joke stuck in her throat. About how she'd really leave this time and not come back if Selina got to see Bryce act like that the whole evening. But such jokes are in bad taste, maybe in the future. When it won't hurt as much; for both of them.

And like a pet called by their owner: Bryce lights up. Her eyes grow a little bigger. A sheepish smile pulls on her face and she stands upright. "Really?" To correct those rumors, this would be great! Yeah, she was still bothered by those kids despite everything. At least they acknowledged their relationship but.

"Should we kiss..." Bryce murmured to herself. How far would she go to make those kids change their tone? Should she put on a top to show off her breasts more? Just to make it clear, she was a woman?

Deep down, she acknowledged she was being petty and quite frankly: pathetic. But she couldn't let it go...

“that’d make her real happy. i just… i made sure she knew you were coming back. she has to know you’re coming back. or that you want to. —kid spent a week without me when the city was locked down, she was scared out of her fucking mind. the others looked out for her but.. i was gone. it’s sort of my life’s mission to make sure she never, ever thinks i want to be anywhere else.”

and bryce gets it, on some level, but not on this level. not when something completely basic is cataclysmic and it’s solely because hollyanne occupies the sacred space in her heart known as ‘daughter’. bryce has to understand because she, herself, has been a daughter — and to alfred, she always will be.

loved. holly must only ever feel loved, loved, loved. she must know it every second without a single hitch, must only ever be able to call to mind that warmth. it’s absolutely needed. if she feels a single other aspect selina would be crushed.

(she’s realistic. she understands that a kid is going to say they hate you at some point (and yet holly will never utter this sentence) and she’s ready for it. but she thinks it’ll hit her harder than bane ever could’ve.)

she laughs anyway. bright, sunny, honest, related always to the little girl she loves best.

her cheeks redden only just, do emerge those tricky little dimples. they pop sheepishly from the corners of her pretty lips, lovely. she finds herself glancing down, brushing her own palm over the landscape of her cheekbone. it’s a nervous tic.

“sweet of you to say. i think it makes me happier that she’s not like me. that kiddo? brilliant. she’s never gonna do any of the stupid shit i did. she doesn’t even want to. she is my other hero.”

that’s true. holly has given selina a life she never would’ve had, a life that she’s built for the sake of this baby she loves so. she’s crafted happiness no one can possibly imagine — has built skyscrapers for holly, gotten her far more than ponies.

and she won’t stop there, not ever. thirteen or thirty, hollyanne kyle is her little girl.

“daph’s pretty fun at events. give it a shot. i’ll even orchestrate it so it’s not a disaster. she’s fun. like, usually no trail of blood to mop up after.”

she laughs again. the sound is incongruent, a strange and awkward bark that sounds as though it turns and teeters and creaks on rusted hinges. the sound is skittish, the heart of her — accidental. she doesn’t mean it, but she doesn’t know why it has to come out. sometimes it feels like every noise she’s dying to make is poking out of her sides, bulging from her ribs. every touch she doesn’t follow through. every breath she measures like a recipe.

she finishes the cigarette, watches the last of it tumble away. her grin, however lopsided, remains.

she tries hard to keep it there.

“you can come with me to pick up holls on monday. how’s that?”

[gothamvengeance]

Alfred had told Selina about it once. There was a very, VERY rare occurrence in the Wayne household. In that if Bryce was sincerely amused, there was this look she'd make. There was even a picture of it.

She tilts her head to the side, hand balling into a fist and brought up to cover her mouth. And as she laughs her upper body is filled with amusement and some of her hair slips free from the constant slicking backward and shakes along with her laughter.

That was exactly the face Bryce made right now; because Brycie and Daphne have apparently always been friends and are frequently seen at parties together.

"It's a good thing we don't attend events together. I don't think I could keep the act up confidently if I ran into you at one and we both had to act the pair like this..."

Reaching out, she pinches the base of the cigarette between two fingers, confident that once Selina had taken her hit that she'd release it. Then taking it back and letting it linger between her own as she took a long and drawn-out exhale. Fingers moving up to slip the freed strands back into position.

A smirk plays on her lips as she finally pulls it away and exhales a good mouthful of smoke all at once. "And I love Holly... She's a good kid. Takes after you in the best ways. And she's good for Alfred, too." After a few seconds, Bryce softly adds: "She's good for us all..."

For Selina, Alfred, and yes: Herself.

Momentarily, Bryce stares at the cigarette remnants. Offering the last bit of it to Selina as she props herself up with her elbows and stares at the ceiling for a good moment. Letting Selina's words sink in.

"I'm... glad to be that person for her. But I'll admit, I'm also surprised." Bryce chuckles, fingers mussing up her hair. "Most people look to Superman for that. I don't care about him, so long as he sticks to metropolis. But I won't deny that whoever does his PR is doing something good."

"When I was looking for gifts to bring home from Metropolis. All I saw was merchandise of his. I fear that if I make merchandise of Batwoman it'd just scare kids and give the Rogues a reason to be more of a nuisance. Maybe target delivery people. I rather not have that happen."

A smile appears on her lips nonetheless. It's brief, just a second. And back to that resting coldness. "Maybe just the one, for Holly alone."

she finds herself shocked — a quick second draws her back almost shyly, a hand up to perch dramatically at her heart, nails pointed to brush skin ever so. if brycie exists, so too does daphne — the way selina softens her gaze to an almost perfectly round curve. her wrinkles could smooth like the perfect, steaming touch of an iron. her smile emerges and it does not excavate, but beams itself onto her face — a million watts. her dimples unearth, a seismic earthquake that bring two perfect little points to frame her heart-shaped lips.

her lids get heavier. her expression seems wider, impossibly so, a gentle, happy thing — grecian, something mythological. the air she exudes is simply that, the soul of that, some demigod.

she slides her fingers into brycie’s and chirps in a tone that is all hers and not hers at all, brightly saccharine,

“oh gosh, wouldn’t that be my pleasure? aren’t you just the sweetest?”

a head tilts downward to press a kiss softly to knuckles. her raspy, quiet little laugh follows, the puff of air through her nose. dimples fade, retreat back to their spots. a shaky little breath rattles in her stomach as she settles back out.

she’s taken the cigarette easily without even thinking about it moments before. she lifts it to her mouth to take a drag, to sate the awful need for stimulation. idly, cigarette flips back into her mouth, flips it back out again with an easy twist of her tongue. winks, actually.

she shakes out her own posture, back to drawn and much quieter, back to squares and angles, back to the selina they both know — the one void of daphne’s oscar winning volume.

“you’re as stuck with holly as i am. kid loves you. —thank you, by the way. for indulging her love of waffles and ice cream. she’s kind of the best choice i ever made, but that wasn’t a choice. holly was always my babygirl.”

holly was always hers, always. she is absolutely nothing but love — selina makes sure holly knows that no matter what. there is no mistake, bryce would always be correct, not where that little girl is concerned. they made a choice, and that choice thankfully led her right into selina’s arms. she wishes somehow it’d been sooner, but she would’ve been ten.

(and it probably wouldn’t have changed anything.)

“she believes in you. so much. a kid needs that. something to hold onto that’s like. an always.”

she shrugs, heavy-lidded, calm blink following after. she can’t not believe in bryce. that’s all she needs most days, this one in particular.

there’s no cat without a bat. it’s a universal constant.