#( 16 | crack. ) ✧ every day's great at your junes !

[mayonakako]

tag dump 01.

navigation.

( 01 | ic. ) ✧ your affection !

( 02 | ooc. ) ✧ backside of the tv !

( 03 | mobile. ) ✧ answering machine !

( 04 | inbox. ) ✧ text messages !

( 05 | prompts. ) ✧ club activities !

( 06 | dash commentary. ) ✧ overheard conversations !

( 07 | dash games. ) ✧ mobile games !

( 08 | gallery. ) ✧ photo album !

( 09 | headcanon. ) ✧ the roses that grew out from the concrete jungle !

( 10 | character study. ) ✧ turning misery into meaningfulness !

( 11 | queue. ) ✧ exploring the tv world !

( 12 | audio. ) ✧ mp3 player !

( 13 | reference. ) ✧ tv guide !

( 14 | promo. ) ✧ poem of everyone's soul !

( 15 | self promo. ) ✧ time to make history !

( 16 | crack. ) ✧ every day's great at your junes !

( 17 | drabbles. ) ✧ storytime !

[libra-stellium]

My recent Venus transits!

Description from Planets in transit - Robert Hand

Venus trine Pluto (Apr 1 - Apr 5)

Transit intensifies your emotional expression and makes relationships more intense

It's already 4/16 and I swear I'm still feeling this lol leading up to the eclipse on 4/8 I remember thinking about "omg....am I happy..??" bc I was feeling joy randomly like walking around smiling type of shit lmao and at first I was like omg this is embarrassing but then I looked back to exactly a year ago and I was definitely cosplaying joy oops but not anymore!

Under Venus-Pluto love is not an intellectual abstraction, it is felt and expressed through the mind, emotions and body

So real! I go through periods where I don't listen to music and then I remember music exists and I get obsessed and I could feel every single song and I was telling everyone about what I was currently loving lol I also started getting back into fandoms and like being part of the group excitement feels so great!

Transit is capable of producing profound and useful psychological insights, don't be afraid of them

My pluto is in the 9H and I was having a lot of thoughts about religion lol I'm not religious at all but I was thinking it's so crazy how in the same weekend I was thinking "wow...religion is probably the worst thing to happen to humanity!" One of my friends was getting baptized to dedicate her life to the lord like...omg lol and I was talking to my aunt about religion too bc in 2020 when everything was closed she had literally been a completely different person mentally, a better person, and the only change was that she wasn't going to church and now she's back and her thoughts are insufferable to me again lmao

Venus opposite Sun (Apr 5 - Apr 8)

Transit introduces pleasantness into your life through good times, agreeable relationships, sexual attraction and friendship

This transit was such a fun time! Been feeling very happy and it was the weekend and the day of the eclipse and I after the eclipse went exact! I was talking to a lot of my friends more than usual and we were cracking jokes the whole time lol tears streaming down my face jokes lmao

The problems you'll confront are overindulgence, lack of self discipline, and unwillingness to work

Yeah I did overdo it at happy hour 4/5 and felt like shit 4/6 lol and I looked at my budget app to see I ordered food every single day from 4/1-4/7 and I was like omg that's embarrassing!

Venus trine Jupiter (Apr 10 - Apr 14)

One of the best transits that brings grace, ease, and pleasant social interactions

Loved this transit! I have venus sextile jupiter natally so as a native venus-jupiter girlie I was thriving! It was great how easily I was making people laugh lmao I love that so much!! I was with friends on 4/13 and had a great time even tho the event we were at tried to scam us! I even made one of my coworkers laugh lmao I'm remote so it was over email and she said "that is hysterical!!!" to a joke I made about our case I was so proud!

You may meet someone who will be of great service later

Idk if it counts as "meeting" but I had a meeting with my mentor on 4/11 and she connected me with someone over email and we scheduled to talk in june lol hopefully the "great service" is her helping get a new job!

There may be a romantic interest throughout the day but transit isn't strong enough to bring about a major relationship

Thissss!! Okay when I wrote out the transit I was about to leave this out bc I have not been dating and I've only been hanging out with my own friends if I leave my apt lol but on 4/13 my friend's sister invited some of her friends and this guy was so obvious with his crush on me lol he wasn't my type but it was adorable how he was like intrigued by me saying basic things and the place didn't have a lot of seating and after getting a drink I came back to the table and he like jumped up to let me sit LMFAO ngl i love when men are obsessed with me like this

Transit benefits financial interest, good day to invest in entertainment, leisure activities or the arts

I finally got paid that half of my check that was missing! And it worked out so perfectly bc I kept my money in my checking and didn't transfer it to my credit card in case they didn't pay me again and when I saw I got paid i transferred it immediately on the same day my card statement closes and usually the bank takes days to process but they did it in less than 12hrs and my statement closed at $0!! love that for me lol

Not a good day to start things that require a lot of energy, you may be inclined to sit around and do nothing

I was chilling on 4/14 watching TV and tiktok and then my bestie and I made some event reservations for our trip!

Venus opposite Venus (Apr 12 - Apr 16)

Pleasant transit, you feel at ease with yourself and self-indulgent, which is fine as long as you don't have work to be done

Real chill time! I'm starting to look around like....it's suspicious i'm not doing anything

You are likely to buy some expensive frivolity on a whim or an expensive pasttime only to regret the cost later

The only thing I bought was the amsterdam city card thing and a flight to come back home from NY lmfaooo that better not be what I regret later! The flight we bought we got first class seats only because the economy ticket plus paying for a bag was $10 less than first class lol that's a no brainer to me!

[elsanna-shenanigans]

April 2021 feedback and reviews

Before we release the June stories (please be patient with this - we need some time to work through A LOT of technical issues. This month’s been crazy in this aspect!) we probably should release the feedback for April. Yes, April. Yes, in July. And yes, we forgot about this post - but to be fair, nobody reminded us either.

Below the cut you will find: a run-down of the bonus restriction points, individual feedback for the stories from the voters and a link to a sheet containing detailed reviews of every April submission, courtesy of our Monthlies Reviewing Club (for those of you who already read them on discord: do go in the link, there are some new reviews to see!)

BONUS RESTRICTIONS

Points were being awarded for completing three different criteria: including a body of water, limiting the title to 2-3 words long and including a quote. Each restriction was worth one bonus favorite point for up to three extra points.

Stories awarded 3 extra points: Morning Break, whisper to me, Stupid For You, Love and Sunflowers, Those new feelings, River Rockman, Shocking Confessions, Green Like Flowers, The Seal-Wife, Crack Shatter Repair, Your Worth, Sea of Time

Stories awarded 2 extra points: Prism of White, Staying Close, I'm Sorry, Waves and Wonders, Lake Town Sunrise, After Thaw, Surface Tension, Break Free, Captain's Holiday, Chocolate is Love, A Clean Break

Stories awarded 1 extra point: Rewrite The Stars, One Last Heist, A Break From Normalcy, Break A Leg, Schrodinger's break, Break Me Off

The extra points have already been included on the results graph.

FEEDBACK AND REVIEWS

This month’s roster of 17 reviewers included: balambfish, cabanotchi, @djupcake, @dont-tell-them-its-me, @elsanndra, @pitchperfect-lostgirl-rizzles, Jelly, LILI, @nymphaeaceae-noire, Matjojo, NoahRhino, Reina, @adoraslastbraincell, ArendelleFrostfall, Space Alien, @itstooshy and Vergasi.

Due to the amount of submissions, most of the reviewers were assigned a random selection of stories to review. Big thanks to @djupcake, @dont-tell-them-its-me, Reina and ArendelleFrostfall for reviewing EVERY story.

The reviews can be read here. The nicknames listed above and on the sheet might not be the same, but the people are in the same order.

Individual stories feedback from the voters: f = favorite vote, k = kudos vote

1: Morning Break Style 3 (3f) Fits the prompt best 1 (1f) Characterisation 5 (4f 1k) Dialogues 3 (2f 1k) Tone 3 (2f 1k) Flow 1 (1k) Plot 2 (2f) The story's Anna 2 (2f)

2: whisper to me Style 5 (1f 4k) Fits the prompt best 2 (1f 1k) Characterisation 2 (2k) Dialogues 3 (3k) Tone 2 (1f 1k) Flow 2 (1f 1k) Plot 2 (2k) Grammar 1 (1k) The story's Elsa 3 (3k) The story's Anna 3 (3k) Setting/Universe 1 (1k)

3: Prism of White Style 6 (3f 3k) Characterisation 6 (4f 2k) Dialogues 6 (3f 3k) Tone 7 (4f 3k) Flow 4 (1f 3k) Plot 5 (3f 2k) Grammar 4 (1f 3k) The story's Elsa 1 (1k) The story's Anna 1 (1k) Setting/Universe 2 (1f 1k) Other (1k): - I actually really genuinely like the settings and I love the dialogue. It's like really hard to keep me focused and this fic was able to do it even with it's length, also it was written very neatly.

4: Stupid For You Style 8 (5f 3k) Characterisation 9 (7f 2k) Dialogues 9 (6f 3k) Tone 7 (5f 2k) Flow 5 (3f 2k) Plot 10 (8f 2k) Grammar 1 (1f) The story's Elsa 5 (3f 2k) The story's Anna 7 (4f 3k) Setting/Universe 3 (3f) Total other: 5 Other (3f): - Age Gap - MILF ELSA HYPE - the girl is adorkable Other (2k): - also got my second fav vote - Love those dorks omg

5: Love and Sunflowers Style 9 (6f 3k) Fits the prompt best 2 (1f 1k) Characterisation 8 (6f 2k) Dialogues 6 (4f 2k) Tone 5 (3f 2k) Flow 8 (6f 2k) Plot 12 (6f 6k) Grammar 1 (1f) The story's Elsa 3 (2f 1k) The story's Anna 7 (4f 3k) Setting/Universe 3 (2f 1k) Other (3f): - just a nice cute story with light tension, a nice spring day read - absolutely wonderful - The thrill! The longing! The grief! The resolution!

6: Those new feelings Style 1 (1f) Fits the prompt best 1 (1f) Characterisation 1 (1f) Dialogues 1 (1f) Tone 2 (2f) Flow 2 (2f) Plot 2 (2f) Grammar 1 (1f) The story's Elsa 1 (1f) The story's Anna 1 (1f) Other (1f): - I love the Paragraph Breaks, made Frozen 2 sting hurt less.

7: Rewrite The Stars Style 5 (1f 4k) Characterisation 3 (2f 1k) Dialogues 4 (2f 2k) Tone 3 (3k) Flow 2 (1f 1k) Plot 6 (2f 4k) The story's Elsa 1 (1f) The story's Anna 2 (1f 1k) Setting/Universe 3 (2f 1k)

8: River Rockman Style 2 (1f 1k) Characterisation 1 (1k) Dialogues 1 (1f) Tone 1 (1f) Plot 2 (1f 1k) Setting/Universe 1 (1f)

9: Shocking Confessions Style 6 (3f 3k) Fits the prompt best 2 (1f 1k) Characterisation 3 (2f 1k) Dialogues 4 (3f 1k) Tone 1 (1f) Flow 2 (1f 1k) Plot 4 (3f 1k) The story's Elsa 3 (3f) The story's Anna 2 (2f) Setting/Universe 5 (4f 1k) Other (1f): - I like the premise, also even in it's premise it's a breath of fresh air. It did something I've never seen before and therefore gets a lot of points for it in my book.

10: Green Like Flowers Style 11 (7f 4k) Fits the prompt best 2 (2f) Characterisation 14 (8f 6k) Dialogues 9 (5f 4k) Tone 12 (9f 3k) Flow 9 (6f 3k) Plot 13 (9f 4k) Grammar 1 (1k) The story's Elsa 7 (5f 2k) The story's Anna 6 (4f 2k) Setting/Universe 5 (4f 1k) Total other: 4 Other (2f): - I like trains - this was a beautiful story, the descriptions and us of different words was just wow, I've never read a fan fiction story like this before and I loved it. This needs polishing but wow is this story amazing already Other (2k): - Train Setting - This one really stuck with me... loved it

11: One Last Heist Characterisation 1 (1k) Dialogues 1 (1f) Tone 1 (1k) Flow 1 (1k) Plot 1 (1f) The story's Elsa 1 (1f) Setting/Universe 2 (2f)

12: The Seal-Wife Style 6 (3f 3k) Fits the prompt best 1 (1f) Characterisation 3 (2f 1k) Dialogues 5 (3f 2k) Tone 6 (3f 3k) Flow 4 (2f 2k) Plot 7 (3f 4k) Grammar 4 (2f 2k) The story's Elsa 2 (1f 1k) The story's Anna 1 (1f) Setting/Universe 7 (4f 3k) Other (2f): - Writing style pretty - I am a sucker for Elsanna myths ok. Also well written.

13: A Break From Normalcy Style 12 (8f 4k) Fits the prompt best 4 (4f) Characterisation 11 (9f 2k) Dialogues 9 (6f 3k) Tone 8 (6f 2k) Flow 8 (7f 1k) Plot 12 (10f 2k) Grammar 2 (1f 1k) The story's Elsa 6 (5f 1k) The story's Anna 6 (5f 1k) Setting/Universe 5 (4f 1k) Total other: 3 Other (2f): - Absolutely in love with this story. Will bookmark if author decides to post this on AO3 or FFN. - I really liked the detailed schedule details at the begnning Other (1k): - it was nice

14: Break A Leg Style 1 (1k) Fits the prompt best 3 (3k) Characterisation 2 (2k) Dialogues 3 (3k) Flow 2 (2k) Plot 1 (1k) Grammar 1 (1k) The story's Elsa 3 (3k) The story's Anna 1 (1k) Setting/Universe 1 (1k) Other (1k): - I like the premise and the execution is good. There is a bit part where I'm a sort of put off, not the injury but rest assured it's most likely just a me thing. Also too short lol.

15: Schrödinger’s break Characterisation 1 (1k) Plot 2 (1f 1k) The story's Elsa 1 (1k) The story's Anna 1 (1k)

16: Crack, Shatter, Repair Style 3 (1f 2k) Characterisation 2 (2k) Dialogues 2 (2k) Tone 2 (1f 1k) Flow 2 (1f 1k) Plot 2 (2k) The story's Elsa 1 (1k) The story's Anna 1 (1k)

17: Staying Close Style 5 (1f 4k) Fits the prompt best 1 (1k) Characterisation 4 (2f 2k) Dialogues 5 (2f 3k) Tone 4 (4k) Flow 5 (1f 4k) Plot 4 (1f 3k) Grammar 2 (1f 1k) The story's Elsa 3 (1f 2k) The story's Anna 3 (1f 2k) Setting/Universe 3 (1f 2k) Other (1f): - The final couple of lines that leave you with a great way to end a story off of, i dont know the technical term. Maybe closure.

18: I'm Sorry Style 2 (1f 1k) Characterisation 1 (1k) Dialogues 2 (1f 1k) Tone 2 (1f 1k) Flow 2 (1f 1k) Plot 1 (1f)

19: Your Worth Style 2 (1f 1k) Fits the prompt best 2 (1f 1k) Tone 1 (1k) Flow 2 (1f 1k) Plot 4 (2f 2k)

20: Waves and Wonders Tone 1 (1k) Flow 1 (1f) Plot 2 (1f 1k) The story's Elsa 1 (1k) Setting/Universe 1 (1k)

21: Sea of time Style 10 (5f 5k) Fits the prompt best 2 (2f) Characterisation 6 (5f 1k) Dialogues 5 (3f 2k) Tone 8 (6f 2k) Flow 4 (3f 1k) Plot 6 (4f 2k) Grammar 2 (2f) The story's Elsa 3 (3f) The story's Anna 8 (6f 2k) Setting/Universe 8 (5f 3k) Total other: 3 Other (2f): - Role reversal - Immortal!Anna instead of Elsa - This one BROKE me and it’s all I’ve been able to think about since Other (1k): - I am a sucker for Spanish ok

22: Lake Town Sunrise Style 5 (4f 1k) Fits the prompt best 1 (1f) Characterisation 5 (3f 2k) Dialogues 1 (1f) Tone 5 (2f 3k) Flow 4 (2f 2k) Plot 6 (4f 2k) Grammar 3 (2f 1k) The story's Elsa 4 (1f 3k) The story's Anna 3 (1f 2k) Setting/Universe 2 (1f 1k) Other (1k): - The garage was really nice (cough overachiever elsa cough)

23: After Thaw Style 2 (2k) Characterisation 3 (2f 1k) Dialogues 2 (2f) Tone 2 (2k) Flow 1 (1k) Plot 3 (1f 2k) Setting/Universe 2 (1f 1k)

24: Surface Tension Style 7 (3f 4k) Fits the prompt best 1 (1k) Characterisation 6 (3f 3k) Dialogues 8 (4f 4k) Tone 5 (3f 2k) Flow 4 (3f 1k) Plot 6 (4f 2k) Grammar 3 (2f 1k) The story's Elsa 2 (2k) The story's Anna 2 (2k) Setting/Universe 3 (2f 1k)

26: Captain's Holiday The story's Elsa 1 (1k) Setting/Universe 1 (1k)

27: Chocolate is Love Style 2 (1f 1k) Fits the prompt best 3 (1f 2k) Characterisation 1 (1k) Dialogues 1 (1k) Tone 3 (1f 2k) Flow 4 (1f 3k) Plot 4 (1f 3k) Grammar 1 (1f) The story's Elsa 2 (2k) The story's Anna 1 (1k) Setting/Universe 1 (1k)

29: A Clean Break Style 1 (1f) Characterisation 1 (1f) Dialogues 1 (1f) Plot 2 (1f 1k) The story's Elsa 1 (1f) Setting/Universe 1 (1f) Other (1f): - interesting setting

30: Break Me Off Style 12 (6f 6k) Fits the prompt best 8 (5f 3k) Characterisation 13 (6f 7k) Dialogues 11 (7f 4k) Tone 6 (4f 2k) Flow 6 (4f 2k) Plot 14 (8f 6k) Grammar 2 (1f 1k) The story's Elsa 7 (5f 2k) The story's Anna 10 (6f 4k) Setting/Universe 2 (2f) Total other: 3 Other (2f): - Kit Kat Kissing - The simpleness of a nestle treat being the catalyst for elsanna is really funny and heartwarming. Other (1k): - I dont like chocolate, but the love for chocolate was amusing

[a-force-dyad-in-space]

CHECK-IN TAG

I was tagged by @vishcount thank you ♥️

1. Why did you choose your url?

I love Rey and Ben/Kylo from the Star Wars sequel trilogy, and they are a force dyad who travel through and can communicate across space so, ergo, a force dyad in space ✌🏻

2. Any side-blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them.

I don't have any sideblogs at the moment, but I'll be sure to tell you guys if I ever make any 😋

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

With this account, about two years, but I had another account before this one that ran from about 2011-2018 👀

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Nope, when I'm not online my blog is as dead as a doornail 🤣🤣🤣

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Some months after I deleted my old account (for mental health reasons that I won't go into right now), I wanted to branch out into the Tumblrverse again. Even on my old account I hadn't been really active in a while because I was mostly on Twitter at that point. When I made this account, I still wasn't very active for a while, but after I watched The Rise of Skywalker I was in desperate need of kindred spirits and tired of really terrible takes on Twitter, so I started being more active here again (and made some great friends along the way ♥️), until I pretty much neglected all my other social media

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Again, I love Reylo, and since my URL is Reylo-based, I felt like my icon needed to be, too (even though I rarely even post Reylo these days, I gotta change that 😅); the icon I got right now is a bit dark and ominous for my liking now, tho, so I'll probably change it to a nicer one soon

7. Why did you choose your header?

When I watched The Untamed for the first time in November, I fell in love with WangXian, and I still love them to this day ♥️

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

Uh, this one might come as a surprise since I rarely post about Twilight, but it's my Eclipse rewatch post where I praise the vampire make-up and David Slade's beautiful use of the vampire sparkle (the Eclipse make-up and VFX departments really did the most) 😅 As of today (June 5, 2021) that post has just under 1k notes

9. How many mutuals do you have?

As of today, 16 (and I love every single one of them ♥️) 

10. How many followers do you have?

As of today, 153, but I don't really care about the quantity, more about the quality 👌🏻

11. How many people do you follow?

As of today, 357

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Uuuh... does my WangXian crack giftset count?

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

Way too much probably, but honestly it and the Asian dramas I'm watching are what have been keeping me sane during this pandemic, so I don't really care 🤷🏻‍♀️

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

Not that I can remember, but I have gotten rude anons before whose asks I simply deleted and moved on (I don't have the energy for that kind of bullshit; which is also why I don't accept anon asks anymore, my apologies to the people who might have sent me nice anon asks and are too shy to message me off anon; I don't bite, tho, I promise)

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I don't like "Reblog this or you're a terrible person" posts (tho I have to admit, I've let myself be guilt-tripped into reblogging these types of posts before, but I'm trying not to let those get to me anymore), because

1) by guilt-tripping people into reblogging something, whether it's an important topic or not, you will never know whether the person you guilt-tripped actually cares about the topic,

2) by trying to guilt-trip them into reblogging you might actually cause them to do the exact opposite and make them care even less because caring might feel like a chore as opposed to a learning curve about something they may have never heard of before they saw the post that's trying to guilt-trip them

and 3) at the end of the day we're all just running our little blogs here and absolutely no one is obligated to reblog anything they don't want to reblog.

Yes, it's important to raise awareness about important issues, but guilt-tripping someone into caring about something instead of just letting them know that that something is happening and letting them do their own research about it and grow to care about it on their own terms is not the way.

Okay, this one turned out more ranty than I anticipated, but here we are. 😅

16. Do you like tag games?

If I didn't I wouldn't be doing this one right now, would I? 😋

17. Do you like ask games?

I do, but no one ever sends me any asks for them 🥲🥲🥲🥲 (tho I rarely send other people asks for ask games, too, so I guess I could make more of an effort as well)

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Definitely @cenedrariva, their SongXueXiao fic "Red Azalea" is absolutely amazing and they deserve all the love they get for it ♥️

Also, @krispycreamsicle and @byallaccountsitdoesntmakesense both make super awesome gifsets that they absolutely deserve to be tumblr-famous for 🔥

19. Do I have a crush on a mutual?

Who knows? 😏

20. tags?

Well, the three blogs I already mentioned are welcome to do the tag, of course, if they want, and also @calamity-queen @huxdameron @yumingyesfairy @nika1882 and @angst-wizard ♥️ No pressure tho, of course

[calamity-bean]

Aziraphale/Crowley Fic Recs

AKA “There is SO much Good Omens fic nowadays, with more being added at SUCH an incredible rate, that I keep forgetting to bookmark things and thus completely lose track of what I’ve read and what I liked and which ones to watch for updates and which ones I might want to read again and etc etc. So, for the sake of my own sanity, I have made A List.”

And I thought, hey, might as well share.

I’ve divided this list into WIPs and Complete Works, but otherwise, it’s a jumble: canon-verse and AUs, short and long, ranging in rating from G to E and incorporating various tropes and headcanons. I tend to gravitate toward happy endings, so there’s probably nothing too dark or soul-crushing, but as always, buyer beware, pay attention to tags and content warnings and your own personal tastes. Works are listed in chronological order of first publishing, simply as a neutral and objective way to list them, and more will be added intermittently as I read new ones or rediscover ones I forgot.

Hope this helps someone find some good reading and directs more attention to some well-deserving work!

-- WIPs --

On Espionage and Prophecy (or How to Accidentally, but Wholly, Fall in Love With a Soho Bookseller) by RockSaltAndRoll (June 15, 2019)

1941 is the London Blitz and the year that MI5 really comes into its own with the now infamous ‘double cross’ system. The service keep tabs on suspects, root out enemy agents and try to turn them into doubles.

Anthony J Crowley is fucking great at this job. He can be sneaky, underhanded and damn ruthless but also charming and kind. It’s what makes him good at turning.

Aziraphale is just a regular Soho bookseller who loves his shop and books and good food and wine when he’s approached by a woman claiming to be MI5, wanting to recruit him for espionage. The poor man is too trusting and gets the shock of his life when he’s approached by a charming but dangerous-looking man also claiming to be MI5.

Crowley recruits Aziraphale to double cross a double crosser and Aziraphale takes to espionage like a duck to water.

Danger, hijinks, and sex ensue.

Show Me a Great Plan by WriteDreamLie (June 17, 2019)

A.J. Crowley is an eccentric "business man." A.Z. Fell is a bookseller who refuses to sell any books.

After Fell (unwillingly) helps Crowley out of a sticky situation, the two become oddly fixed on each other. And their relationship could just be the thing that saves them both.

icing on the cake by Etheostoma (June 18, 2019)

Between the black attire, swaying hips, slouching pose, and affected “devil-may-care” attitude that actually belied an incredibly sensitive nature, A.J. Crowley was a walking puzzle—and one that Aziraphale, when he allowed his thoughts free rein, wanted desperately to solve.

That being said, at the end of the day Crowley was also technically his employer, and therefore even the thought of anything more was decidedly not a Good Idea.

Vita Nova by AMidnightDreary (June 18, 2019)

“Angel, bloody hell. Hi. You doing okay? Do you have any idea what’s going on?”

It was quiet for a few seconds.

“I’m sorry,” Aziraphale said then, still polite, but a bit perplexed. “Who is this?”

Crowley, upon finding that Aziraphale does not remember him, is very much Not Okay with the changes Adam made after the Apocalypse That Wasn't. He can't do anything but try and make the best out of it, though. (Which is a lot easier than it should be.)

Sparse Clutter by ItsClydeBitches (June 26, 2019)

A fic bingo collection featuring twenty-five, one word prompts. Whole thing is probably best described as "Ineffable husbands stupidity with a hefty dose of gen world building," but I'll chuck brief summaries below as I update!

Strange Pilgrims: Being the Account of a lost Angel, the Journeys of a Demon, the meaning of Free Will, of the Unravelling of a Prophecy, and of Being Unravelled by it in Turn by sousverre (June 26, 2019)

"Aziraphale going missing" would be quite enough drama for Crowley to be getting on with, thanks very much - even without a prophecy that seems to be implying the significance of Feelings, and especially with every gargoyle in London trying to reunite them.

But when he does find the angel, Aziraphale has lost his memory, his wings, and insists that he is happily married to some kind of investment banker.

Right. So the first step is to fix all that, somehow, and then - and then - and then everything can go back to normal, like it was before, which is all Crowley wants.

Right.

How do we fix this?

Put Out The Fire by Aleakim (June 27, 2019)

Aziraphale finds himself in a very awkward position as some sort of spell makes everyone merely glancing in his direction instantly fall deeply and desperately in love with him.

Absolutely everyone.

Well, apart from Crowley, that is.

And while both angel and demon search for a solution to this fairly unique problem, Crowley can’t help wondering whether Aziraphale might finally figure out some things he kept hidden for so very long.

Ink Blots and Forget-Me-Nots by gutsandglitter (July 3, 2019)

Ninth Circle Ink was hardly more than a stone’s throw from the flower shop; Aziraphale knew from past experience that it took less than thirty seconds to go from door to door (forty-five if you had to wait for a car to pass). It had been a perfect arrangement in the beginning, when they were just starting out.

aka the flower shop/tattoo parlor (human) exes AU that nobody asked for!

You Can Have Your Cake by eragon19 (July 4, 2019)

Aziraphale has been working as Anathema's assistant at her wedding planning service for near on a year now. He thinks he's seen it all, from meddling parents to nervous brides, and in one case an ex with a penchant for arson.

What he isn't prepared for is a reluctant groom with a liking for black leather and a smile that has Aziraphale's mind going to places it most certainly shouldn't. Especially since the man is getting married, no matter how awful his fiance is...

To the Stars by StarRose (July 9, 2019)

The happy ending Titanic!Au no one ever writes but everyone always imagines in every possible fandom. Aziraphale is being forcibly sent to America to be forcibly married to Gabriel. Crowley is going to forcibly screw that up.

A Matter of Convenience by ylc (July 15, 2019)

There comes a time when even the most fervent enemies must call a truce and what better way to cement such truce than a marriage? And if the involved parties happen to be the most troublesome members of the ruling families… well, that’s all for the best, isn’t it?

Barriers, and the Breaking Thereof by Cardinal_Daughter (July 16, 2019)

Ezra Fell has long been comfortable in his loneliness. He’s content to simply run the Soho Public Library and otherwise keep to himself. However, when a handsome stranger bursts in one evening with a baby, frantic and in need of help, Ezra finds those carefully constructed barriers he’s long maintained begin to crack.

Perhaps it’s time to let them fall.

Series of one-shots focusing on the lives and developing relationship between Ezra Fell and Anthony J. & Adam Crowley. Human AU.

Lavender, Chamomile, and a Rather Permanent Arrangement by southdownsraph (July 17, 2019)

Crowley owns the flower shop across the street from A. Z. Fell's tattoo shop, and can't help but be intrigued by the slightly eccentric, yet incredibly friendly tattoo artist. When Crowley does finally pluck up the courage to talk to him beyond the occasional pleasantries, he kicks off the beginning of a friendship that could so easily drift into something else entirely.

Pride and Prejudice and Angels by SanSanFanFan (July 20, 2019)

Hampshire, England, 1809

Miss Crowley's plans for a small temptation near the South Coast go awry as she realises that Aziraphale is not only a guest of a neighbouring landed gentlelady but also suffering under some kind of malady.

Match-making! Balls! Fainting! Happily Ever Afters???

Celestial Bodies by LieutenantLiv (August 3, 2019)

The year is 1923. Aziraphale's friends at the gentlemen's club invite him for a weekend away in Devon. He asks Crowley to join. It gets very silly and very messy very quickly.

That's just how things were in the roaring twenties.

Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm (August 9, 2019)

As soon as Aubrey Thyme, psychotherapist, had opened her office door and seen her new client, Anthony J. Crowley, sitting in her waiting area, she was observing and assessing him. At first glance, she paid attention to the following:

--His clothing was expensive and stylish; --He wore very strange but noticeable cologne; --His relationship to the seat he occupied could only, very loosely, be described as “sitting;” --He looked angry; --He was wearing sunglasses.

What Aubrey Thyme, a professional, thought, upon first seeing her new client was: you’re going to be a fun one, aren’t you?

-- Complete Works --

Anthophilia by FortinbrasFTW (July 7, 2014)

Anthony J. Crowley's life seems like it's finally falling into place: his floral shop has begun to gain an undercurrent of appreciation in the design elite of London, and he might have even finally found a boyfriend who looks just right lounging on his Tenreiro sofa. Things seem almost perfect, until one day the empty shop across the street is leased to frumpy fellow Oxford alumni, who doesn't seem to remember Crowley nearly as well as he remembers him, which really shouldn't bother him as much as it does - it was ten years ago after all, and it wasn't even that good of a kiss.

The Rose Thief and the Priest by ImprobableDreams900 (January 8, 2018)

When horticulturist A. J. Crowley sees a rare breed of rose in a churchyard, he decides he won't stop until he can get a cutting—even if he has to go through the church's stuffy priest to do so.

Running in the Shadows (Damn Your Love, Damn Your Lies) by soft_october (May 10, 2019)

"In plain terms, Mr. A. Fell was a man of impeccable conduct and unusual habits, and in a similar manner to many of whom bore the first two traits, he must also take up the third: dire loneliness. Yet it had not always been thus. Indeed, there once was a time when it seemed as if he should never know solitude or want of suitable company for the rest of his days, but the circumstances by which Aziraphale might have unwound the knot that now bound up his heart had long since dragged themselves, mortally wounded, to die in the shades of regret. Their ghosts hung in his past, growing in consequence with the singular passing of each year until they eclipsed even the death of those who had the foremost hand in their making, and had the effect of separating the sequence of his days of into a gentle, blooming Before, whose painful beauty made the egregious scars of the After that much more appalling."

What Aziraphale does not know is that, from across the ocean, Mr. Anthony J. Crowley is returning to England with his newly aquired wealth, wanting nothing more than to rebuild his life after a terrible shock and, perhaps, discover why he had been abandoned by his fiancé ten long years ago.

You Might Think I’m Crazy (All I Want is You) by soft_october (March 29, 2019)

'“Look I understand, you’ve got to check up on the new occupants, make sure I’m a proper ‘fit’ for the neighborhood or whatever euphemism you’re going to use this time, 'the greater good,' I saw the film, I get it. But I peeked in at the place next door the agent mentioned and if you aren’t bothering him I really don't think you should be-”

“I’m your neighbor,” Aziraphale interrupted. “I own that place next door?”

“Oh.”'

Since the next shop over closed down, Aziraphale's had a peaceful few months, barring those unpleasant interactions with the men in cheap suits who keep trying to persuade him to sell his shop. But now a (handsome) new owner has taken up residence beside him and, horror of horrors, he wants to open up a coffee shop.

A Home at the Beginning of the World by stereobone (June 6, 2019)

"Oh," Aziraphale says. "I think Crowley might have moved in with me."

creatures of circumstance by attheborder (June 10, 2019)

Anthony J. Crowley, Jr. is the prodigal son of CrowleyCorp, the UK’s most powerful, dangerous, and controversial technology company.  

A one-night stand with a mysterious man who calls himself Aziraphale tips his hopeless life upside-down into a dangerous obsession.

And somewhere else entirely, a girl-shaped creature is presiding over the back room of a bookshop in Soho, where an angel and a demon lay unconscious on the floor…

Bending Space and Time by Draco_sollicitus (June 11, 2019)

Crowley could never have envisioned a miracle quite like making an angel smile.

And when that angel is Aziraphale, well, he'll do whatever he can to experience that miracle again, and again, and again.

(Crowley spends the twentieth century bringing books to Aziraphale in an effort to make his angel smile a little more)

the words of the prophet are written on the subway walls by volantium (June 11, 2019)

Aziraphale and Crowley do the twenty-first century. (Or, Aziraphale and Crowley, dorks in love, post-Apocalypse).

a picnic plan for you and me by theapplepielifestyle (June 12, 2019)

“It’s angel food cake,” he said. He waited. When Aziraphale did nothing but nod politely: “It’s funny, see, ‘cause-”

“No, no, I get it.” Aziraphale nodded again. “Very funny.”

“Oh, shut up, it is-”

“May I ask what brought this on?”

Crowley paused. “Can’t a guy just want to try baking?”

(Or, Crowley makes Aziraphale food after the world doesn't end. It has absolutely nothing to do with how much he wants to make Aziraphale smile.)

with urgency but not with haste by Sanwall (June 13, 2019)

Aziraphale moves to the South Downs and gets bees, and Crowley gets into one of his moods.

The Play’s The Thing by volunteerfd (June 16, 2019)

“Who was at the very first rehearsal, hmm? Who read over Shakespeare’s shoulder as he put ink to parchment? If anything, I know Hamlet just as intimately as I know you.” Aziraphale picked up his teacup again and looked at Crowley over the rim of it. “Maybe even more.”

Crowley was tempted to ask if he’d fucked Hamlet.

****

Aziraphale is cast as the lead in a community theatre production of Hamlet, a lifelong dream of his and a lifelong night terror of Crowley's. But, as the hapless Crowley helps him run lines, it becomes a mystery why anyone would let Aziraphale on stage. Tears are shed, skulls are crushed, monologues are butchered, and through it all, Crowley remains supportive. After all, the show must go on--even if it is the fifty billionth production of stupid, overrated Hamlet.

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by 13thDoctor, JHarkness (June 17, 2019)

5 times Aziraphale and Crowley were mistaken for a couple, and the 1 time they weren’t.

A Regular Rip van Winkle by aurilly (June 20, 2019)

After almost an entire century spent asleep, Crowley wakes in 1888 to find the world more changed than he thought possible. His first order of business is to find his angel.

Also concerning the origin of the Baroque gavotte (spoilers: Aziraphale was feeling thirsty).

A bookshop is not a business by anactoriatalksback (June 22, 2019)

In which Aziraphale has no intention of selling books to anyone at all, let alone this infuriatingly persistent customer. No matter how nice his cheekbones are...

like a prayer for which no words exist by lipsstainedbloodred (June 23, 2019)

“What do you want, angel?” Crowley asks before Aziraphale is even properly in the room.

“Hullo my dear,” Aziraphale sounds cheery but also awfully worried, “I hadn’t seen you since - well, since-” Since they’d swapped bodies back; since Crowley had turned tail and ran from St. James’s Park like the Devil himself had been on his heels.

(in which Crowley and Aziraphale do not dine at the Ritz after that nasty business with Heaven and Hell, and Crowley has an existential crisis instead)

far too much in love to see by imperiousheiress (June 25, 2019)

“Hello, can I help you with anything in particular?” Aziraphale asks. And then, he freezes.

Inexplicably, impossibly, it’s the same man who had entered the shop the last time they’d been open. He’s sure of it. The man who he’d felt a rather insistent urge to garrote.

(Or, one of Aziraphale’s regular customers takes a little too much interest in Crowley, and Aziraphale feels somewhat unfamiliarly unpleasant about all of it.)

The Holiest by merle_p (June 26, 2019)

So when Aziraphale hears, through the grapevine, that an exorcism is supposed to happen on New Year’s Eve in Major Gruber’s flat, he knows that despite his general distaste for exorcisms, this is where he is going to be, on the slim chance that the demon Major Gruber and his spiritist friends have found is the same one Aziraphale appears to have lost.

Hope Is The Thing With Feathers by Gefionne (June 26, 2019)

Because they can’t see each other more than once every few decades, Aziraphale suggests that he and Crowley write to each other to pass the time apart. As quills for their letters, they exchange wing feathers: a gesture of great intimacy that Crowley is convinced only he perceives the depth of. But time will tell that it’s not just him who sees it that way.

Night and Day by Gigi_Sinclair (June 27, 2019)

Five times Aziraphale and Crowley encountered queer historical figures who know more about them than they do, and one time they actually have a clue.

Needed a break, gone to France x by sleepymccoy (June 28, 2019)

A week or so after the nopocalypse Aziraphale takes a holiday that, unfortunately, sends Crowley into a bit of a tailspin about where they're at

In Holy Matrimony by Myracuulous (June 29, 2019)

From the private journal of Alisha Jones, wedding planner, concerning the nuptials of Anthony J Crowley and Aziraphale and the planning process thereof, containing an account of chosen decor, guest list construction, and the holy war against the Antichrist that nearly ruined six months of professional organization and a very nice dinner.

Acts of Service by seekwill (July 2, 2019)

After receiving direct instruction from God, village reverend Aziraphale leaves his countryside congregation to serve the underserved and in-need at an urban church in London, a transition made all the more complicated by the mysterious and handsome Crowley, who always seems to appear when Aziraphale least expects him.

greatest hits by attheborder (July 2, 2019)

“But my dear, I just can’t believe you never told me that you had joined a musical group. I would have come out to support you— at your gigs!”

“First of all, never say ‘gigs’ again. Second of all, not my fault you never noticed when I showed up to dinner with a great big guitar case slung over my shoulder.”

(Aziraphale accidentally discovers Crowley’s secret: he was in a band in the 90s. And he wrote a whole album of love songs…)

Nanny Knows Best by DictionaryWrites (July 5, 2019)

Being a nanny, that should be simple. Simple. Easy as pie.

Crowley wished that were true.

human childcare for the occult (and ethereal) by suzukiblu (July 10, 2019)

The Dowlings miraculously need a nanny and a gardener at the same time, and Aziraphale suggests they flip for it. Crowley takes one moment to picture Aziraphale nannying anyone and calls dibs. It’s not that Aziraphale’s terrible with humans, he’s just, well. Terrible with humans. Truly, truly terrible.

He doesn’t want to deal with Aziraphale getting metaphorically guillotined or kicking up security’s paranoia, basically. A gardener can be a little odd, and no one will notice or care. Except Warlock, perhaps, as the only other person with any real reason to spend much time out on the lawn, but Warlock’s the one they want noticing so that’ll be fine, Crowley’s sure.

Even if it does make him cringe a little, leaving Aziraphale in charge of the plants.

keep me close by Iselmyr (July 17, 2019)

Aziraphale was expecting to see a talented but otherwise ordinary performance of Les Misérables with a genderswapped cast. Aziraphale was not expecting who came onstage.

Crowley was expecting an ordinary second night show, because Aziraphale always goes to opening nights, and Crowley never performs on them.

Except, this once, Aziraphale missed the opening, and came to the second night. Everything else snowballed from there.

lit in the darkness by ToEdenandBackAgain (July 17, 2019)

Aziraphale returns to Crowley's flat for the night after Armageddon. After all, it's hardly the first time they've shared sleeping arrangements. Or: Times throughout history Crowley and Aziraphale have shared a bed.

Reflect What You Are by Owenjones (July 17, 2019)

It's a year after the almost-apocalypse. Aziraphale makes Crowley go see a therapist.

“Have you been having any issues in particular?”

“Issues? Such as?”

“You tell me.” She could tell he had something on the tip of his tongue.

Crowley sat for a second, then blurted out, “He thinks I’ve been sleeping too much. He’s worried.”

An Answer to Prayer by Jupiter_Ash (July 20, 2019)

Prayers can be answered in a multitude of different ways. When it came to a certain cottage in the South Downs though, no one had expected it to be answered by the squealing wheels of a classic Bentley and Queen's Princes of the Universe.

All Karen wanted to do was sell a house.

The Ineffable Temptations of Oysters by gimpy_terry (July 20, 2019)

Wherein Aziraphale sometimes invites Crowley to dine on oysters with him and Crowley definitely takes him up on that offer.

did you open up your heart there? by weatheredlaw (July 21, 2019)

or were you quiet and afraid? — Aziraphale and Crowley meet over and over and over again. Aziraphale doesn't know what Crowley is, or why their souls can't seem to be parted, but he is a creature of love, and he's not going to argue with that.

A Machine for Living In by pineapplesquid (August 6, 2019)

All Crowley wants is to see the inside of the bookshop so that he can get this design for the building next door done so the clients will be happy and his bosses will stop yelling. What A.Z. Fell wants, apparently, is for Crowley and the project that’s he’s working on to disappear. Permanently.

One of these might be more attainable than the other.

[tabloidtoc]

National Examiner, June 8

Cover: Princess Diana’s Last Day Alive 

Page 2: Secrets of The Bridges of Madison County -- turmoil over directors, writers and casting led to a romance favorite 

Page 4: Duchess Kate Middleton’s health and beauty secrets can work for you -- how the royal mom takes charge of her family’s diet and fitness 

Page 7: How to be your own handyman -- 8 repairs anyone can do 

Page 8: Busy cats gets the job done 

Page 9: Creatures can crack us up 

Page 10: A Florida couple has a grand and coronavirus-free turnout for their 73rd wedding anniversary -- their friends and family threw them a parade on their front lawn 

Page 12: Shocking secrets of Hollywood’s Golden Age Heartthrobs -- Burt Lancaster, Humphrey Bogart, Jimmy Stewart, Clark Gable 

Page 13: Gary Cooper, Cary Grant, Marlon Brando, Richard Burton 

Page 14: Dear Tony -- Pain is often rooted in the past -- forgiveness is essential, Tony predicts a major American Humanitarian award being presented to Dr. Deborah Birx for her work with the virus COVID-19 

Page 15: Colombian Edward Nino Hernandez who is 2 feet 4 inches tall has once again been named the world’s shortest man 

Page 16: Phyllis George’s amazing life 

Page 18: The delicious sweet potato is a starchy sweet-tasting root vegetable that’s rich in fibers, vitamins and minerals 

Page 19: An obese Wisconsin woman who was mortified when her middle-aged mom outpaced her on a hike went on to lose 150 pounds 

Page 20: Cover Story -- Princess Diana’s last day alive: A timeline to tragedy -- how she and Dodi Fayed went from breakfast on yacht to fatal midnight crash 

Page 22: An Alabama schoolteacher knew just what to do with his $1200 federal stimulus payment -- he used it to pay off his students’ utility bills 

Page 25: If you’re dreaming of a White Christmas your wish is about to come true because beloved TV legend Betty White is starring in a new holiday movie to air on the Lifetime network 

Page 26: The Hometown Katharine Hepburn -- the Hollywood great was just a local girl made good to her old pals and neighbors 

Page 28: A New Mexico teenager who dreamed of becoming a crime scene investigator got to clear up a mystery when he discovered a bag stuffed with $135,000 and made sure it got back to its owner, two Arkansas teens found something that wasn’t on their shopping list in the aisle of a grocery store -- a wad of hundreds of dollars but thanks to the honest high schoolers an elderly man who came running back to the store was reunited with his lost cash 

Page 30: The Good Doctor -- fiber fights off breast cancer 

Page 32: Tony’s Mystic World -- Everyone can be lucky 

Page 34: J.Lo and Behold -- whatever Jennifer Lopez wears is a fashion statement 

Page 38: They’re Super at 70 -- stars hitting the milestone in 2020 -- Richard Dean Anderson, Martin Short, Joan Lunden, Jay Leno, Cybill Shepherd, Christine Lahti, Morgan Fairchild, Bill Murray, William H. Macy, Victoria Principal 

Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Mel Gibson and son Lars Gerard (picture), Jerry Seinfeld says the late Jerry Stiller’s work as Frank Costanza on Seinfeld was so perfect he never gave the comedy veteran a single note to change his delivery, Sofia Richie was spotted hanging out at the Malibu house of a male pal with longtime boyfriend Scott Disick nowhere in sight, the grieving mom of teen star Logan Williams has revealed The Flash actor’s death was the result of a fentanyl overdose, though the lights are still dark on Broadway because of the coronavirus theater folks continue to cook up new shows like a musical inspired by the classic movie Some Like It Hot, Jonah Hill has sworn onscreen more than any other contemporary actor, Ariana Grande appeared to confirm her rumored romance with real estate agent Dalton Gomez by giving him a peck on the lips in the video for Stuck with U

Page 45: Terri Irwin and son Robert Irwin step out in Australia (picture), Patrick Schwarzenegger on an elliptical bike (picture), Blake Shelton has been filming The Voice from home and he’s spruced up his onscreen look with the help of girlfriend Gwen Stefani, Fred Willard R.I.P.

Page 46: Max the cocker spaniel has a neat new trick -- he has been teaching his owners to give him a hug every time they go out the door 

Page 47: We’re fearfully fond of these stars -- the top creatures who’ve won movie fans’ hearts -- King Kong, Yoda, Gizmo, Groot, E.T., Jabba, Chewbacca

[donutthief10]

🎀soft kpop asks🎀

1. What kpop songs make you feel at home?

Imma just say EXO love love love (rearranged) [Live]. I’ve had the best memories with this song and I jammed hard to this song a lot in the car. Pretty peaceful and chill and slow. 

2. What idol(s) do you associate with kindness?

EXO Lay, GOT7 Jackson, RED VELVET Yeri, literally everyone from MONSTA X and SEVENTEEN. MONSTA X and SEVENTEEN radiate kindness I swear dude.

3. Has a kpop song or group helped you through some difficult times? If so, and if you feel comfortable, share how.

EXO. They were the first group I deeply got into and invested so much of my late high school and early college time in. I can’t think of anything too crazy or difficult, but just when I’m feeling low or have a bad day and things don’t go well, I can search any exo crack video or sweet video of them and it instantly cheers me up and I feel better. 

4. What idol would you star gaze with? Why?

I’d like to be with Kyungsoo, of course. I think he seems very insightful and I would like to have any conversation with him, from silly to deep. Also NCT Mark. That kid is everything, he’s a funny goofball but for being his age has probably seen and done so many things, and I’d love to pick his brain.

5. What’s your favorite ballad?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_OGaSy99vU you’ll thank me. Best cover I’ve ever heard in my life. And I’ll fight anyone who disagrees.

6. What was your first kpop group that you stanned? Why did you stan?

EXO. They were the first group i really took my time getting to know. And I’ve never seen a musical group with so many members, my gosh. Thank goodness they have so much content. It was fun getting into them kinda in the middle stage, CMB era. There’s enough stuff to see them from the very start and go from there, and still loving them to this day (June 2020) I’ve really got to see them grow as wonderful men and human beings. Like who knew Chen would become DADDY first, amiright ladies.

7. Would you rather give or receive a gift from your bias?

Oh for sure give a gift. I like writing AND gift giving, and I think just writing a simple letter to an idol I appreciate or a group in general would be great. I’d give me the opportunity to thank them for helping me through tough times, they give me hope and cheer, and to express that everyone feels the same way. They deserve to know how much us fans are so thankful for them. 

8. What are some cute nicknames you have for your biases?

Kyungsoo has strawberrysoo and Sooberry, Chen’s got chen-rry. It was a joke between a friend and I when we made EXO into fruit. 

9. What idol(s) would you go to an arcade with? Why?

I think Baekhyun and NCT Johnny would be fun. They’re both pretty energetic and can provide excellent narration. And Baek’s pretty much a gamer anyways so he’d help me shoot lol.

10. What are some things you associate with your bias?

Kyungsoo- khakis, fly fishing dad outfit, dad fashion, the color black, nike, cooking, penguins, eyebrow game on fleek, heart lips, owl eyes, soft, kind, talented, handsome af, pls bring back red hair i beg you. must i go on???

11. What idol(s) would you bake cookies with? Why?

NCT Taeyong. Cooking would be so fun, just jammin’ to songs and baking. He’s a precious bean and I’d be fun eating cookie dough instead of actually cooking it would be a blast. And I bet he has a crazy sweet tooth.

12. What idol(s) would you like to share comfortable silence with? Why?

Kyungsoo, he seems like a pro at that lol. SVT Joshua, MX Shownu, RV Wendy. They’re just peaceful human beings and I can image just all of us reading or doing work peacefully in each other’s presence. 

13. What idol(s) would you like to share your favorite food with?

Kyungsoo, I love that he’s a foodie and enjoys cooking. I’d love to eat pho and ramen and sushi with him and just talk about life. MX Wonho would be fun to go on ramen dates with, since that’s his fav too. 

14. What idol, when they come to mind, makes you feel warm, fuzzy, at home?

Kyungsoo. Pretty obvious at this point haha. He’s my fav and I adore him dearly. His voice too, my gosh. His singing voice is just so gentle and warm, it certainly gives you the warm fuzzies.

15. Which idol would you like to have a long, deep hug with? Why?

MX Shownu. He just seems to have such a soft touch, and he’s known as the papa bear in the group. It helps that he’s pretty muscular, i think his hugs would be nice and warm and strong.

16. What’s your ideal day with an idol(s)?

I would like to spend a day or two with SEVENTEEN. I think going out and having a good meal with them would be great. It’s a great way to get to know someone and talk about easy mundane things. I have the best memories with friends at a lake, or going out in nature. So i think time with them hiking or having a lake day would be so peaceful and fun. Also inner-tubing, omg that’d be a blast. They’re all such GOOD BUDDIES to each other, and crackheads at the same time. They’re energy would be nothing but fun and exciting.

17. What idol(s) would you watch the sunrise with?

I mean... all of EXO. BTS Hobi, NCT Jaehyun and Taeyong, SVT Scoups

18. What idol(s) would you watch the sunset with?

EXO... again haha. MX Jooheon and Minhyuk, BTS Taehyung, SVT Joshua and Wonwoo

19. Has an idol or group said anything that has stuck with you?

“The possibility of all those possibilities being possible is just another possibility that can possibly happen" ~ Mark Lee, 2019. An iconic king

20. What idol would you like to spend a rainy day in with? What would you do? (please keep it appropriate lmao)

I think Johnny and Mark would be super fun. I think a nice puzzle would be nice to do, a time to talk and get to know them, with hot chocolate and blankets. And like a crazy netflix or hulu binge watching, and eating popcorn. I’m used to commenting and making jokes during movies/tv so I’d to joke around with them and see what they have to say about a movie or tv. 

21. Talk about why you love your bias so much.

Kyungsoo is just such a sweet soul. I saw a video of him just now and it was when he was 19 years old, and he was so sweet and giggly and smily. And it’s astounding to see him grow into such a mature young man. he’s done great success in acting, and seeing the kinds of talents he possesses. He’s a talented singer, a good dancer, an amazing actor, and he cooks. He seems very mature and yeah, kinda looks dead inside at award shows, but I think he’s got a good head on his shoulders. And when the time comes he can become goofy and cute, even when it seems he doesn’t want to/do it on purpose.

22. Would you rather go to Disneyland or Everland with your bias? What would you do there?

I mean easily Disneyland. i wanna see every member of my favs wear Mickey ears decked out in Disney gear. They definitely deserve a day of fun and laughter and no stress, and just living out as a young adult. 

23. What do you imagine your bias to smell like?

Kyungsoo- Idk probably just clean, like soap and whatever cologne he may wear. He’s a simple man lol.

24. What do you wish for your bias group or idol in the future?

I just want happiness for everyone, and success and to remember how much we love them and appreciate them for all the hard work they do. 

25. What season do you associate a group or idol with? Why?

SVT is summer, for sure. They come up with the most boppiest of bops, and the energy for them best fits a summer road trip with the windows down and music blasting.

26. What idol would you like to share childhood stories with?

Honestly anyone who has traveled from the US to SK. I love hearing their stories and how hard they worked to get where they are. They really sacrificed everything they knew in the States and went to a place they don’t know well, have to learn a new language, and miss their families. I’d like to hear how they made it to where they are and what they’ve learned over the years. 

[the-spachelor]

10, 16, 18, 20 :)

Oh! Thank you 😊

10. something you’ve created in the last year that you’re proud of (a playlist, a piece of art, some writing, a craft hobby, a social media account, etc)

Every year I work with two of my other friends to put together a playlist for a friend’s birthday. Every year I’m proud of it, but I think it gets better each year. This year’s isn’t done yet (end of June is the deadline), but it’s looking good so far. And last year’s was great, and I know our friend loved it too

16. how you wake your body up when it’s feeling tired, achy or needs a stretch

That’s most mornings. You know that full body stretch routine that cats do when they wake up? That’s me most mornings, followed by cracking my back and neck. That helps exponentially.

(I despise getting up, so this whole process can take up to an hour, depending on the day)

18. a book series you can always escape in

Most Rick Riordan books. I’m always so burnt out reading for class, and it’s engaging, exciting, complex characters, no overwhelmingly complicated language, and so SO different than my uni readings. Plus one of my host kids read the first couple books when I was an au pair, and just his excitement of reading them, and getting to share these stories with each other, I’m never gonna shake that feeling of warmth and connection

20. a skill you’ve picked up in the past few years

I learnt to make pasta from scratch in January. I haven’t really had much chance to pull that trick out since, because I’m locked down with my family, my sister can’t have gluten, and I’m not game enough to try and make gluten free (I don’t know what balance/combination of what types of flour would be best, and we don’t have access to enough gluten free flours for me to get it wrong). Also I started studying German, Italian and Auslan in the last year-ish, so those too

[mayonakako]

"..."

sips her iced coffee with purpose.

"...please don't let this be a pattern. This cannot become a pattern. I will come back from the dead if it becomes a pattern so help me--"

[cottonletters]

#91 Truro N.S.

Sept 16, 1900

My Dearest Frank

Your dear spooney letter reached me safely Friday night as I think I told you in my last. I have read it over so often that I almost know it by heart. That Ned Spinney really ought not to be on the outside of an asylum. I suppose they sent him to St.John so he would be handy to one in case he became a degree worse. I don’t remember his ever setting beside me in school. I was in the same class with him though I think in the academy before I went to Edgehill but as I was at home about a year from school which makes the time about ten years since, I don’t remember very distinctly. He was an awful fool then I remember and hasn’t improved since. He proposed to Mrs Bessie Lovitt in Yarmouth a mother of about five children and she told him she had enough children to look after already. She is a very pretty young looking woman but divorced from her husband who is married again and lives at the opposite end of the town from her. She is a great friend of Mrs Wetmore who will be able to tell you all particulars. Just ask her? And remember me to her when you see her. Are the Armand girls pretty and stylish? What made Mrs W stare, was it such an unusual sight to see you with a young lady. I haven’t seen Jean yet to give your message nor ask for her sisters address. They have a flat though (lower) on upper king street. Mr Robinson or Robertson I don’t know which of the firm Manchester R and Allison have the upper flat. Jean said Friday at the tea that if you didn’t send your love to her you might look out, and I said if you did you might look out. So there are an awful lot of visitors in town and I feel very strange appearing again in society. Oh I think society in Truro is beyond words and Ag McKay especially. She is the cheekiest article. I’v got it in for her and I think she has for me too . She made a remark to me at the tea the full force of which did not strike me till last night. I took it as a matter of course when it was made and didn’t even give her a look. She had a surprise party at Mrs Muirs’ Friday evening and didn’t invite me. I’m going to try to cut her out in that quarter. Mrs Muir has invited me to go for two drives but I have been forced to stay at home both times . Not stay at home but unable to go. Yesterday we took the children up to the park. Saw J.T. Up there who said in the absence of “my steady “ he would look after me. He told me there were about two girls to every boy at the dance. I am looking forward to seeing you so much two weeks from today. I can hardly realize it is really so. It will be five weeks Wednesday since you left and it seems like two months. If I want to see you as badly next June in proportion to the time you will then have been away as I do now I don’t know what I’ll do. I wonder if we want to see each other equally or which wants to see the other most. There’s a nut for you to crack. In fact I’m afraid I love you an awful lot and folks say a woman should not love a man too much but here I don’t believe there is such a thing as loving too much. If a kind providence gives to someone to love and be loved by I think we should do it with all our might, don’t you and I know you’ll say yes. I’m so glad you don’t happen to be a widower I’m sure I would go mad with jealousy. I never thought I was a jealous mortal but I am just awful. I don’t mean that I mind your going around with the other girls and paying them attention too but if I thought anyone else ever had had a right to your love I just couldn’t bear it. So I am thankful you’re only twenty five and a bachelor. Aren’t you glad I am a spinster. Well I think I’ve gabbed a good deal, no one has been out of our side of the house today. It was dark this morning and pouring now. This letter has been written in spells since this morning the evening church bells are ringing now. By the way I think it would be an excellent plan to return to writing on the same days. Then you wouldn’t know till I had your letter whether I had written or not what do you think. Well good night I wish you were here for me to wish it in person

[bearingwater]

2019 Aquarius Forecast

You’ve got to learn the rules before you can break them, Aquarius. But with Saturn and Pluto cracking down in Capricorn this year, you’ve had just about enough of rules. After all, you’ve got to uphold your reputation as the “rebel” of the zodiac!

Still, your best kept secret is that you actually crave structure. You’d just rather create a system that works for you than conform to someone else’s. Remember, though: it takes more discipline to be different.

Over the last seven years, Uranus in Aries has stirred up a lot of controversy, both personal and political. And you haven’t been shy about speaking your mind—even if it’s alienated some of the people closest to you. Tempers have flared up and burnt out pretty quickly… but the long-term consequences for your relationships remain to be seen.

Once Uranus moves into Taurus on March 6, the cracks begin to show. And by the time Venus in your sign squares Mars in Taurus (March 21), you could finally reach your breaking point. Family members may never see eye-to-eye—but if they don’t get you, Aquarius, somebody out there will!

With Uranus in your fourth house, the next seven years could radically reinvent what “home,” “family,” and “belonging” mean to you. And at the Virgo new moon on August 30, a Grand Earth Trine (which includes Uranus) helps you put down roots for a new kind of tribe. The moon, sun, Mercury, Venus, and Mars in Virgo bring healing for old trauma through mutually supportive relationships that simplify your life. And Saturn and Pluto in Capricorn give you the strength to live with the courage of your convictions.

The best news of all, Aquarius? With Jupiter spending most of the year in Sagittarius (your eleventh house of community) you won’t have to do it alone! Two Venus-Jupiter conjunctions (January 22 and November 24) bring ample opportunity to connect with other visionaries like you. And Jupiter’s squares to Neptune (January 13, June 16, and September 21) challenge you to transcend your differences and find common ground—just make sure you’re not selling out on the values you cherish most.

Career & Finance

You’re a spirit in the material world, Aquarius—but there’s no avoiding money matters in 2019.

After all, with Neptune still in Pisces, cash flow is “easy come, easy go.” And three Jupiter-Neptune squares (January 13, June 16, and September 21) make it even more tempting to live beyond your means.

Fortunately, Mercury will be spending two months in Pisces (your second house of finance), giving you plenty of time to balance your checkbook. From February 10-April 16, try keeping a money diary to track your expenses. If the numbers don’t add up, use Mercury’s retrograde (March 5-28) to rework your budget.

Mercury goes retrograde three times this year—and for better or worse, Aquarius, all three happen in career and money houses. Progress may be slow, but with the North Node in Cancer (your sixth house of work), trust that things are moving in the right direction.

The total solar eclipse in Cancer (July 2) could signal a new direction. Still, with Mercury retrograde for most of July, it’s probably too soon to switch jobs. Update your resume and brush up your interviewing skills, so you’ll be ready to seize your moment when the time comes.

Mercury conjuncts Mars twice this summer: once in Cancer, opposite Saturn and Pluto (June 18) and once in Leo (July 8). If you’ve been complaining about the same work problems forever, it’s time to put your money where your mouth is!

There’ll be no more time to waste once Mercury settles into Scorpio (October 3-December 9, retrograde October 31-November 20). With Mercury and other inner planets opposing Uranus, constant interruptions make it hard to keep your eye on the prize. But they’re also a reminder of the need for work/life balance.

Yes, Aquarius, you can have it all… as long as you remember success isn’t “all-or-nothing.”

Love & Romance

Over the last two years, eclipses in your sign and the opposite sign of Leo have put you through some major relationship rites of passage. Whether it brought painful endings, joyful new beginnings, or both, one thing’s for sure: after this, Aquarius, you’ll never look at love in quite the same way again.

The Leo lunar eclipse on January 20 brings this chapter of your love story to its logical conclusion. And by the new moon in Leo on July 31—the same day Mercury stations direct—you’ll be ready to start writing the next one!

Mercury spends the summer going back and forth between Cancer and Leo. In each of these signs, he’ll meet up with action-oriented Mars (June 18 and July 8), driving home the message that love is a verb. We all need to hear “I love you” now and then, but actions speak louder than words—and it’s the little things you do for each other every day that add up to a truly great romance. What has your partner done for you lately, Aquarius? And what can you do to show them you’re the real deal?

Keeping it real can be a bit of a challenge this year, with Jupiter in Sagittarius square Neptune in Pisces (January 13, June 16, and September 21). And in June, Venus in Gemini throws more fuel on the fire! Her aspects to Jupiter and Neptune on the twenty-third and twenty-fourth have you feeling fun and flirty… but the attraction may be quick to fizzle out. Even if you’re head-over-heels, a night out with friends sounds a lot more exciting than a quiet evening in.

The tables are turned in Virgo season, when a Venus-Mars conjunction (August 24) opposes Neptune and squares Jupiter. This time, it could be a case of “all work and no play.” Yes, relationships do take work… and when Venus and Mars team up, there’s nothing they can’t do. But if love isn’t fun, Aquarius, you’re doing it wrong—so make sure playtime is also a priority!

[cometsweepandleonidsfly]

Editor's note: Megan Rapinoe gave her brother, Brian, a birthday shout-out on national TV after winning the 2019 Women's World Cup, the Golden Boot as the tournament's top scorer and the Golden Ball as its top player. Here is the story behind their complicated relationship.

DAYS BEFORE THE first game of the 2019 Women's World Cup, Brian Rapinoe jokingly texted his sister, Megan Rapinoe -- co-captain and star midfielder for the U.S. women's national team: "Megs, breaks my heart that you couldn't fly me out for an all-expenses-paid trip to France." She shot back: "Oh yeah, so sad I couldn't pamper you for a month in France."

An hour before kickoff against Thailand on June 11, the rest of the Rapinoe family found their seats in the Stade Auguste-Delaune in Reims; Brian charged his ankle monitor and rounded up the other guys in the dormitory at San Diego's Male Community Reentry Program, a rehabilitative program that allows an inmate to finish the final 12 months of his sentence taking classes or working jobs outside of prison.

The MCRP common room might not be France, but it's a vast improvement over solitary confinement, where Brian has watched Megan play in the previous two World Cups. He sat on a couch in his red USA jersey, watching on a 60-inch flat-screen, and felt "f---ing great." He had accomplished a major goal for himself: to get out of prison in time to watch his kid sister play in her third World Cup.

Every time the U.S. scored, the room full of men cheered loudly. Nobody there thought the U.S.'s 13 goals against Thailand and exuberant celebrations after each were done in poor taste. "This is what soccer should always be like," one man said.

"It's the World Cup: There's no f---ing holding back," 38-year-old Brian says. "This is every four years."

And his sister didn't hold back. When Megan scored goal No. 9 for the U.S., she sprinted to the sideline, spun around twice and then slid to the ground for a foot-kicking celebration. As the camera zoomed in on her, one of the guys yelled, "Holy s---, it's Brian!"

He has the same face as his sister.

The face, the charisma, the wit, the tendency to burst into song: In so many ways, Brian and Megan are alike. But they are also a study in contrasts: At 15 years old, Brian brought meth to school and has been in and out of incarceration ever since. At 15, Megan played with her first youth U.S. national team and started traveling the world. As a young inmate and gang member, Brian was inked with swastika tattoos -- an allegiance to white supremacy that he now disavows; as a professional soccer player, Megan was the first prominent white athlete to kneel to protest racial inequality.

Despite their different paths, the brother and sister have stayed close through letters, phone calls and texts. "I have so much respect for her. And not just because she's the s--- at soccer. It's her utter conviction in the things that she believes in and the stances she takes against injustices in the world," he says.

"I was her hero, but now -- there's no question -- she is mine."

Megan, right, "worshipped" Brian when they were children. Brian, who is five years older, introduced her to soccer early on.

GROWING UP, MEGAN and her twin sister, Rachael, adored Brian. He was their hero, the charismatic jokester who did Jim Carrey and Steve Urkel impressions and danced ridiculous dances. The girls had three other siblings, but he could make them laugh harder than anyone else could. He taught them how to catch crawfish in the creek, walked them to the patch of field across from the church and taught them soccer until his mother called them in with a two-finger whistle. In the side yard, he set up cones and showed his 4-year-old sisters how to dribble the ball -- with the inside of the foot only, with the outside of the foot only, left and then right. "And it wasn't like he drilled them. He let them do it their own way," says his mother, Denise Rapinoe, her voice cracking. "It was just the cutest thing, and we remember it so clearly."

In elementary school, like her brother, Megan was rough and tumble, and spoke her mind. Her second-grade teacher's aide pulled Denise aside to relay the following scene: Megan came in from the playground, walked into the classroom, stood with her arms on her hips and announced, "Brian Rapinoe is my brother, and I am just like him!"

"I worshipped him," Megan says. "He played left wing, so I played left wing. He wore No. 7; I wore No. 7. He got a bowl cut, so I did too."

So when Brian first started smoking marijuana as a 12-year-old, a 7-year-old Megan was confounded. Why was he doing that? Brian still doesn't know for sure. "Right from the start, I was hooked," he says. "One drug always led to the next." He was also attracted to the "fast life," he says, to getting high, to driving nice cars and to the "hype around this lifestyle." She wanted him to stop, and she was still young enough to think there was something she could do. Three years later, when her parents sat her and Rachael down and told them the police had arrested Brian for bringing meth to school, she cried. He was going to juvenile detention. She did not understand: What had happened to her big brother?

"For many years, Megan and Rachael were pissed as hell," Brian says. "They still loved me, they still let me know they were there for me, but they were like, 'What the f--- are you doing?'"

"My mother is the queen of the family," Brian, left, says of Denise Rapinoe, right. "I just love her so much. I'm such a baby when it comes to her."

BY 18 YEARS OLD, Brian had moved on to harder drugs -- heroin, specifically -- and he became more reckless. He was charged with car theft, evading arrest and a hit-and-run while driving under the influence of drugs -- and now, as an adult, his juvenile detention days were over. He was sent to prison. Within months, he aligned himself with the white prison gang and was inked with Nazi tattoos. A swastika on his palm; lightning bolts on his fingers, sides and calves

These tattoos devastated his family. "The prejudice, the racism -- it was so against the way he'd been raised," Denise says. "He wasn't that kind of kid. He was kind, his nature was so loving."

To Brian, the swastikas weren't about prejudice and racism at that point -- they were about heroin and survival. To support his addiction, he needed to be, in his words, "an active participant in prison culture." The California prison system was segregated. That meant Brian lived strictly among the white population. "You come in as a kid, and there are these older dudes you think you respect, spouting ideas, and you kind of listen," Brian says. "I developed a protect-your-own mentality."

He tried to explain that to his mother. The gang was a family, he said; it was a place to belong. "I told him, 'This is not who we are,'" Denise says. "'This is not who you are.'"

Megan was as heartbroken as her mother. "I thought [the tattoos] were horrible," she says. "I still think they're horrible. I could rationalize them: I understood that when he first got in there, he was searching for identity, trying to survive."

But the big brother she had worshipped? It felt like she had lost him.

As a young player on the U19 U.S. women's national team, Megan wore the No. 7 jersey. It was the number Brian wore when he played soccer.

BRIAN BECAME HEAVILY involved in gang life and racked up charges while doing time: possession of drugs, possession of a deadly weapon, three assaults on other white inmates. He spent eight of his 16 years in prison in solitary confinement for this behavior. By 2007 -- as he was turning 27 years old -- he was transferred to Pelican Bay State Prison in Northern California, the state's only super-max-security prison.

While general population is segregated, solitary confinement is not, and every inmate gets one hour out of his cell to walk the pod. Here, the protect-your-own thinking began to fall away for Brian. "You start relating to people beyond your hood, your area, your color," he says. "It doesn't take long before you start talking with each other, seeing how much you have in common. Back there, it's just you in the cell, and the man next to you is just a man himself."

There's no radio, no television in the individual cells in the hole. Sitting in a cement box, counting the number of holes in the perforated door is "hard; it's definitely hard," he says. "But you find a way to escape. You've got books, you've got writing, some guys draw. And you develop these relations with other people, these connections."

Three times a week, inmates also get three hours outside, albeit in his own cage. "In the yard, you start talking [to other guys] -- sports, music, my sister is always a big ice-breaking conversation. You say [to them], 'When we go back in from yard, you can look at my pictures,' or you say, 'Here's something I wrote.' Maybe you become good friends -- like me and Monster did."

Monster, also known as Sanyika Shakur, is a black nationalist and the author of the bestseller, Monster: Autobiography of an LA Gang Member. He and Brian were on the same pod for two years. Using a line and a weight, they'd send each other long letters from cell to cell, fishing for them beneath the doors. Brian shared the song lyrics he wrote; Monster let him read drafts of his articles and essays. For years, Brian had been a serious reader, consuming everything from the classics, to books about social issues. He'd read The New Jim Crow and learned about how police disproportionately search black men and arrest them for nonviolent drug offenses, and how the War on Drugs decimated communities of color.

"He taught me what it means to be racist," Brian says, "and he taught me what it means not to be racist."

By 2010, the now 30-year-old had a new understanding of what the white supremacist insignias represented. He had his face tattoos lasered off. The swastika on his palm became a spider web; the Nazi lightning bolts became skulls. He did not want any racial insignias on his skin. They did not reflect who he was. But he was still using heroin -- and the next year, he was arrested for selling it.

Brian was behind bars once again -- this time at Donovan State Prison in San Diego.

When Megan scored in the 2011 Women's World Cup against Colombia, she seized the moment and sang Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA" -- something, people say, Brian would do.

IN JUNE 2011, Brian had something new to talk about during his hour walking the pod: His little sister was playing in her first World Cup -- and he was going to get everybody to watch.

The 15-inch television was at the other end of the hallway, some 50 yards away. He built a tower out of 60 books and tied them together with torn sheets. Sitting on top of it, he could just see the TV through the window in the door. In an early game against Colombia, Megan roped in a goal, then immediately sprinted to the corner flag, grabbed a cameraman's mic and sang Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA." The guys got a kick out of this because Brian was the singer on the pod, and this flamboyant corner-flag serenade was so like him.

Days later, ahead of the quarterfinals against Brazil, all 30 cells on top and all 30 cells on bottom were watching, everybody perched at their doors. Megan -- young and audacious with her signature short blonde hair -- subbed in at the end of the game, and in extra time, sure enough -- boom! -- she sent a 50-yard cross-field ball to U.S. forward Abby Wambach, who headed it home to tie the game. "We were going wild," Brian says. "We were yelling and pounding on the doors."

Later that night, on the prison pay phone, Brian talked with his mom. She described the end of the game, how Megan, having just experienced the craziest, most awesome moment of her life, walked to the stands and stood there, searching through the some 20,000 faces for her mom's. Denise put her two index fingers in her mouth and let out her trademark whistle -- the same whistle she had used when they were kids. She had to do it a second and then a third time before Megan could hear her. Megan tapped her ear. "She was letting me know she heard me," Denise told Brian at the time, choking up -- which made Brian choke up a little, too. He could imagine it.

"Not being there -- it hurt," Brian says.

Another four years passed. This time he was in solitary confinement because of his violent record at the Vista Detention Facility, a lower-security prison, in San Diego County -- and Megan was headed to Canada for her second World Cup. The women would end up winning it all, the first time the team had done so since 1999.

"That was the hardest," Brian says. "I was super happy for Megs and super sad for myself. I fricking love my family so much. They were all there. It was like, f---, man, I'm like not really even a part of this. Yeah, I got a lot of support for her in prison, but when the game is over and the ruckus has died down, I'm sitting in my cell. I'm not there to give her a hug, I'm not there to witness it, I'm not there to be a part of it. It's just another thing in their lives that I'm missing out on. What the f--- am I doing with my life?"

Brian was almost 35 years old. He had spent more than half of his adult life incarcerated.

After Megan kneeled during the anthem in 2016, a former prisonmate called Brian to commend her actions. "What your sister is doing -- it means so much," said Sanyika Shakur, a black nationalist. "She is standing up for people who don't have a voice."

ON SEPT. 1, 2016, when San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick kneeled during the national anthem to protest police brutality and racial profiling, Brian was briefly out of prison -- although he was still using heroin. Three days later, Megan kneeled in support while playing for her club team, the Seattle Reign. Then, while playing for the U.S., she did it again.

Brian saved the newspaper article with the picture of her solemn, angled-down face. He watched the YouTube videos of the coverage. He thought, Hell yeah. He also read the comments: "If she was on my team, I'd knock this idiot out. She should be banned from the national squad for life. Such disrespect." He understood that she would anger people, understood the impending fallout. He knew that enrollment in her summer camps and sales of her clothing brand, Be Your Best You, would go down. He thought, My sister is brave; my sister is bad ass.

Like every time before, Brian's freedom proved to be short-lived. By July 2017, he was back up north in Pelican Bay. Back to the regimented, day-to-day prison routine. Where tomorrow is the same as today. His whole life had been a habitual rut; Megan's anthem protest felt like the opposite of that. Her stance showed him there is a way to put a foot down on something in life, in spite of the fallout that will come.

Not long after, he had a breakthrough. His cellmate was helping him inject heroin into the back of his neck when the needle broke. "I freaked out on him, really lost it," Brian says. "And he said to me, 'Look at how you are acting right now.'" And for whatever reason, those words torpedoed into Brian and transformed into personal questions he asked himself. Your whole happiness and peace of mind is focused on this dirty-ass hypodermic needle: Is this what you want? Do you want this cell and this bulls--- powerful persona to be all you are?

He thought about the seven murders he'd witnessed out on the yard. He thought about his own knife fights -- about everything he'd done and been a part of -- just so he could continue to do heroin. He thought about Megan. Look at all she's done with her life -- look at what you've done with yours.

That's when he finally decided he was ready for change. He enrolled in the new self-improvement and rehabilitation classes the California prison system had begun to offer. Each completed class reduced time from his sentence.

Most importantly, after using and selling drugs for 24 years, Brian quit -- and he's been clean for 18 months.

"If I do drugs," he says, "I will go back to prison. I didn't believe that for a long time. Now, I believe that -- I don't ever want to go back."

Shortly before his first day of school at San Diego Community College, Brian met up with a friend from Pelican Bay, Cesar, who is also taking classes. "From the Bay to the books," Brian says. "I am so stoked to begin."

TODAY IS BRIAN'S first day at San Diego City College. As part of the Male Community Reentry Program, he's taking classes to finish up the final year of his sentence, and he has some butterflies. "It's been a long time since I've gone to school -- even when I was in school, it was juvenile hall -- I've never taken anything except regular math. I've never even taken algebra.

Plus, he says, it's a little unnerving to sit in a classroom with 18-year-olds whose experiences have been drastically different from his own. He's self-conscious about his tattoos -- particularly his neck tattoo, SHASTA, inscribed in large gothic letters, the name of the county in which he grew up. "These tattoos, I freaking hate them," Brian says.

But he also knows those tattoos could matter again in the future. He wants to get involved in the juvenile delinquency program, wants to talk to anybody who might be about to jump off the same ledge he did. "These tattoos, it's gonna get their attention," he says. "It's like, dude, you don't think I know what I'm talking about?

"I want to make a difference," he says. "I want to be like Megan."

He had "a really fricking deep conversation" with her about two months ago. They talked about racial profiling; they talked about police brutality; they talked about what Megan's kneeling meant to both of them. Megan saw that in spite of their very different paths, they'd arrived at similar conclusions.

"My brother is special," Megan says. "He has so much to offer. It would be such a shame if he left this world with nothing but prison sentences behind him. To be able to have him out, and to play for him, and to have him healthy, with this different perspective that he has now: This is like the best thing ever."

While Megan is in France, she and Brian text daily -- with game thoughts, encouragement and shared excitement.

"This is one of the most exciting things I can even remember ... just everything really, you, the school, the program," Brian texts.

She replies: "People always ask me what got me into soccer ... your wild ass of course."

"Luckily I played a cool sport. What if I'd been into arm-wrestling or something."

"Oh lawd, yea you really set me up."

"Get some sleep -- love you."

"Lovee you Bri! Let's f---ing go!"

-- Freelance writer Gwendolyn Oxenham is the author of Under the Lights and in the Dark: Untold Stories of Women's Soccer.

[bulletprooflarrybackup-blog]

TOP 100: Take Me Home Tour H/L Moments 2013

Lisa, Jess and I have been getting super excited for the WWA tour and thought a great way to get even more excited would be to go through every H/L moment from the 2013 tour and put them into a top 10 list. 

As you can tell by the title of this post, that did not happen. Because guess what! This is the hardest post I've ever had to make because I couldn't pick 10 or 20 or even 50 "essential" moments from this tour. 

THINK ABOUT THAT. 

We all pine for the days of yore when the Up All Night tour was going strong, and there were a lot of moments I love from that tour. But it was also a much shorter tour and took place over a shorter period of time. It was a case study in teenage love affair: flirting, sex and hearteyes. The Take Me Home tour was different (obviously lol) in that it was much more subdued (partly for unhappy reasons).

But after going through this, I think I might like this tour better, which seems crazy, but once you go through this list (and Lisa's), you'll see that this tour was all about being settled, domestic and fond in the face of what appeared to be pretty extreme measures to have us believe they weren't even friends anymore. 

But once you go through this list, I think you'll agree, that nothing that matters has changed.

(gif credit)

Let's do this.

These are in chronological order, because if I had to rank them, I'd stroke out from the pressure. Going by date is a fun way to see that this tour was CONSISTENT. There were more cute moments in the first half of the tour than the last half, but overall, they were always there. They never went away. 

Harry checking out Louis an hour into the first show | London | 23 February 2013 - x x

Louis making Harry laugh | London | 23 February 2013 - x 

"They could never shut us down." | London | 24 February 2013 - x 

But Louis would really like to shut Narry down | London | 24 February 2013 - x 

Louis did a cartwheel and Harry was cheering him on before he even started it and then wolf whistled and was so fond | London | 24 February 2013 - x x

Louis saving Harry from being crushed by the stage | Glasgow | 26 February 2013 - x 

This picture | Glasgow | 26 February 2013 - x

Harry staring at the sun Louis | Cardiff | 3 March 2013 - x

Harry shows Louis the clitoris sign | Dublin | 12 March 2013 - x 

Louis shares his crisps with Harry | Manchester | 16 March 2013 - x 

Louis touches Harry's hip gently & fondly | Manchester| 16 March 2013 - x 

Playground crushes | Manchester | 16 March 2013 - x

Louis admiring his boyfriend | Liverpool | 17 March 2013 - x

Dancing together in Teenage Dirtbag | Sheffield | 19 March 2013 - x

Louis' fond scrunched up face | Birmingham | 22 March 2013 - x

Louis makes Harry laugh so hard he can't sing | Birmingham | 23 March 2013 - x 

Louis sees Heaven Harry | Birmingham | 23 March 2013 - x 

Louis thinks Harry might be hurt & crushes our souls with The Head Tilt | Birmingham| 23 March 2013 - x  [Jess' favorite]

This picture | Birmingham | 23 March 2013 - x 

This whisper | Birmingham | 23 March 2013 - x

"Oh, I'm not alright." | Liverpool | 31 March 2013 - x 

"You were mine and we never said goodbye." | London | 1 April 2013 - x 

Mirroring | London | 1 April 2013 - x 

Harry touches Louis' shoulder & his soul | London | 2 April 2013 - x

The Signal Reappears Briefly | London | 4 April 2013 - x x

Then Harry grips Louis' shoulder in their bow | London | 4 April 2013 - x 

Harry's Fond Face | London | 6 April 2013 - x

Harry deep throats a banana at Louis causing Zayn to check on Louis' well being | Sheffield | 13 April 2013 - x

Harry really laying it on thick with his Louis thirst | Sheffield | 13 April 2013 - x x

Harry pretends not to know how to do a handstand even though he knows how to do a handstand just to let Louis win | Sheffield | 13 April 2013 - x 

8 weeks in and Louis is already over the Zarry | Nottingham | 16 April 2013 - x 

Harry spins Louis | Birmingham | 17 April 2013 - x

Cracking each other up | Manchester | 20 April 2013 - x 

Louis taps his heart and looks at Harry during "Over Again" | Amneville | 30 April 2013 - x x

"They could never shut us down." | Oslo | 7 May 2013 - x 

Louis sings "Hot In Here" and Harry gets excited | Stockholm | 8 May 2013 - x

Their hands as they look at a fan book | Denmark | 10 May 2013 - x

These M&G pics | Denmark | 10 May 2013 - x 

Louis doesn't care if Harry's sick, he'll drink his tea if he wants to because they share everything else | Denmark | 10 May 2013 - x [Jess' favorite]

Louis makes Harry smile and is adorably smug | Berlin | 11 May 2013 - x 

Louis attempts to become the personification of the word "fond" | Berlin | 11 May 2013 - x 

Whisper Whisper | Munich | 16 May 2013 - x x

"They could never shut us down." | Milan | 20 May 2013 - x 

The Dream Team in action | Madrid | 24 May 2013 - x 

Harry likes what he sees | Mexico City| 9 June 2013 - x 

Harry is just really fond of Louis | Mexico City | 9 June 2013 - x x

H/L on a mothafuckin' boat | Miami | 11 June 2013 - x 

Holding hands at the M&G | Miami | 14 June 2013 - x 

Louis' extreme concern at Harry falling | Louisville | 16 June 2013 - x

"I'm in love with you, and all your little things." | Columbus | 18 June 2013 - x 

Louis in the Gibson shirt Harry got in Nashville and holding hands in a M&G | Raleigh | 22 June 2013 - x

Harry "Fond" Styles | Washington, D.C. | 23 June 2013 - x 

Running into each other and Louis' sweet reaction | Philadelphia | 25 June 2013 - x

Hand holding at the M&G | Boston | 26 June 2013 - x  

Louis' private Harry smile | Boston | 26 June 2013 - x

These smiles | Jones Beach | 28 June 2013 - x 

Harry checking to see if Louis is watching him and Louis fonding away | Jones Beach | 28 June 2013 - x

This really adorable fan account | Jones Beach | 29 June 2013 - x

Making each other laugh | East Rutherford | 2 July 2013 - x

In a room full of people, you're the only one around... | East Rutherford | 2 July 2013 - x

Hand holding at the M&G | Hershey | 5 July 2013 - x

Louis kills the spider for Harry who can hardly believe his husband is that considerate and amazing | Hershey | 5 July 2013 - x x 

Racing down stage together | Hershey | 5 July 2013 - x

The fond is unleashed | Hershey | 5 July 2013 - x

Harry causes widespread pain by changing the lyric to "They can never hurt us now" | Hershey | 5 July 2013 - x

Harry looks after Louis and gets him a throat lozenge | Hershey | 6 July 2013 - x 

Over Again | Hershey | 6 July 2013 - x 

Magnets | Toronto | 10 July 2013 - x 

The way Louis laughs at Harry when he killed the bug | Chicago | 13 July 2013 - x

The way Louis gently held Harry's wrist during their bow | Chicago | 14 July 2013 - x 

Niall brings up the First Meal Louis Ever Cooked | Kansas City | 19 July 2013 - x 

"Here cutie, have a nacho." - Louis to Harry probably | Dallas | 22 July 2013 - x x 

Liam messing with Louis by messing with Harry | Dallas | 22 July 2013 - x

Hand holding at the M&G | Oakland | 31 July 2013 - x 

Louis finally snapping at fans who kept throwing things at Harry on stage throughout the entire tour | Las Vegas | 2 August 2013 - x

The gentle touches | Las Vegas | 2 August 2013 - x

Harry's favorite part of Chop Suey the human face is still the eyelashes | Chula Vista | 4 August 2013 - x (chop suey) 

Harry barely restraining his pride and love for Louis as Niall announced Louis had just signed to play football with the Doncaster Rovers | Chula Vista | 4 August 2013 - x

Louis looking at Harry and wiggling his eyebrows as Niall announces Louis had just signed to play football with the Doncaster Rovers | Chula Vista | 4 August 2013 - x

Harry really, really likes Louis | L.A. | 7 August 2013 - x

Louis really loves Harry | L.A. | 9 August 2013 -x 

These pictures | L.A. | 9 August 2013 - x x

The way they talk to each other | L.A. | 9 August 2013 - x

"You were mine and we never said goodbye." | L.A. | 10 August 2013 - x

Harry is incredibly amused by Louis | L.A. | 10 August 2013 - x

The Cake Licking Incident of 2013 | L.A. | 10 August 2013 - x x

Harry openly teasing Louis after the Cake Incident | L.A. | 10 August 2013 - x

Flirting via microphone stand stealing | L.A. | 10 August 2013 - x

Harry will do anything Louis tells him and they both love it (the Goldfish Moment) | Adelaide | 23 September 2013 - x

This heartbreakingly fond face Harry made when Louis' voice cracked in "Over Again" | Adelaide | 25 September 2013 - x

Harry watching the sun rise Louis finish "Over Again" | Melbourne | 2 October 2013 - x 

Harry does his favorite yogo pose for Louis | Melbourne | 3 October 2013 - x

I'm not over Haylor and neither is Louis (99 Problems) | Christchurch | 10 October 2013 - x 

Harry turns our hearts inside out  by saying "Still the One" | Melbourne | 16 October 2013 - x 

Whatever was going on during "I Would" | Brisbane | 20 October 2013 - x

This angle | Brisbane | 30 October 2013 - x 

Fist bump | Brisbane | 30 October 2013 - x 

"I think you know what's coming, Louis...ganbarimasu!" | Tokyo | 2 November 2013 - x

"If in doubt, say it fast." | Tokyo | 2 November 2013 - x

These Flirts | Tokyo | 3 November 2013 - x

[katzuyas]

it’s that time of the year again when I make a full list of fics I posted in the previous 12 months, so get some good tea and a snack bc there’s a crapton of fics for you to enjoy!

total number of fics published: 75

word count: around 410k

last year I had about 175k words in 95 fics, so holy fucking sheet was I on crack this year or what??? that’s over double the word count o.O I have definitely chilled down on the number of fics but I didn’t do that on the wordcount, did I? // cold sweats HOW AM I GOING TO BEAT THAT YTDCJHYVUB

if you’re curious as to what all I wrote this past year, take a peek below!

the list below follows a pattern like this:

title[*]

fandom: pairing: words: summary:

tumblr | ao3

the asterisk [*] after the title means it’s one of my personal fav fics, so if you haven’t read those, pls do!

J A N U A R Y

2018

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 1065 summary:

"To 2018," Mila says, raising her glass. "May it be even gayer than 2017!"

...Yuuri and Victor, as always, do not disappoint.

tumblr | ao3

learn it by heart

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 1129 summary:

"But, really." Yuuri turns to Victor, handing him a bag of potatoes. "Do I look like a girl?"

tumblr | ao3

a year can make a big difference

fandom: ace of diamond pairing:  miyusawa words: 2334 summary:

"Allow this Sawamura Eijun to bestow his invaluable experiences onto you." How can Kazuya say no?

tumblr | ao3

lisitsa

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 2696 summary:

#WorldFigure #figureskating #worldchampion #goldenboy #coachsoproud #fiancesoproud #isnthejustbeautiful #canwegetmarriednowpls

tumblr | ao3

when I’m next to you I’m home

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 7850

oneshots written for @domesticvictuuriweek

day 1: mischief | tumblr | ao3

day 2: cooking | tumblr | ao3

day 3: alone time | ao3

day 4: cuddles | tumblr | ao3

day 5: rain | tumblr | ao3

day 6: closeness | tumblr | ao3

day 7: free | tumblr | ao3

F E B R U A R Y

to get back to you (I’ll live a thousand lives)[*]

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 17545 summary:

What starts as an innocent journey to find inspiration becomes a fight for love that lasts through the centuries, but in the end there is nothing that can stop Victor from coming back to Yuuri. Not even the curse of eternal rebirth.

written for @victuuri-week and @yoimythologyweek

day 1: historical | tumblr | ao3

day 2: promises | tumblr | ao3

day 3: inspiration | tumblr | ao3

day 4: free | tumblr | ao3

day 5: fantasy & icarus | tumblr | ao3

day 6: sci-fi & norse mythology | tumblr | ao3

day 7: journeys & reincarnation | tumblr | ao3

day 8: soulmates & free | tumblr | ao3

day 9: star-crossed lovers | tumblr | ao3

day 10: magical creatures | tumblr | ao3

day 11: eros and psyche | tumblr | ao3

the end | tumblr | ao3

carry on, darling, we were built to last

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 1251 summary:

Valentine's Day can only be celebrated in style.

tumblr | ao3

a black heart of gold[*]

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 67471 summary:

Victor Nikiforov, aka Grand Prix, knows that he's Yakov's most skilled hitman. That's just a fact and he isn't in the habit of arguing with facts. He also knows that he's the only one Yakov trusts, period. In this case though, he's the only one Yakov can rely on to take care of the elusive sniper Eros, who kills Yakov's henchmen left and right. What Victor doesn't know, however, is that Eros' little vendetta is not a matter of coincidence, but pure premeditation, and thus... he falls into a trap that a rookie like Little Fairy could see from a mile away. He falls in lust. And then in love. The fool.

tumblr | ao3

M A R C H

lighter, better, fuller

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 1789 summary:

St. Petersburg might not be what Yuuri imagined, but anywhere he goes is a good place as long as Victor's by his side.

written for the @heartbeatszine

tumblr | ao3

Everlasting

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 3668 summary:

When his mother falls ill and only a special flower can save her, Yuuri takes it onto himself to travel to the Garden of Everlasting to find it. What he finds, though, is more than just the flower.

ao3

dazzle me with gold[*]

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 146465 summary:

Everyone knows who Victor Nikiforov is.

Even shepherds and beggars, even children of such.

So when Yuuri’s hunting trip takes him almost to the other side of the forest and he’s caught by men with the flaming sun insignia embossed in the gold of their breastplates, Yuuri knows who he is being dragged to meet. He just doesn’t know why.

tumblr fic tag | ao3

M A Y

what living feels like

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 1741 summary:

"What do you say, Makka?" Victor asks, stroking one of Makkachin's ears. "Think you can share?" 

written for kamome: @softviktorzine

tumblr | ao3

J U L Y

together, we’re golden[*]

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 1548 summary:

"You did it, Yuuri," Victor says and squeezes Yuuri's now limp hand. His cheeks hurt from how hard he grins.

written for the born to shine @yuurizine

tumblr | ao3

@wewritevictuuri‘s autoteles week

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 5306

day 1: relationships | tumblr

day 2: nature | tumblr

day 3: missing moments | tumblr

day 4: the arts | tumblr

day 6: fantasy | tumblr

A U G U S T

on your sweet temples (a crown of love)

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 10946 summary:

When Victor and Ivan's father dies, he leaves Victor to a life of pain with only one thing to bring a semblance of happiness to his dreary days – a charmed pot of pinks that, unknown to anyone else, is much more than it seems to be at first glance.

written together with the amazing @saniika

tumblr | ao3

S E P T E M B E R

pulchritudinous

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 1868 summary:

adj used of persons only; having great physical beauty “pulchritudinous movie stars”

Synonyms: beautiful delighting the senses or exciting intellectual or emotional admiration

tumblr | ao3

O C T O B E R

thread your needle through my heart (and stitch us into one)

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 8258 summary:

"I don't do fashion. I am fashion." —Coco Chanel

oneshots from the modus vivendi au written for @yurionrunway

day 1: fashion stylists | tumblr | ao3

day 2: costumes | tumblr | ao3

day 3: footwear | tumblr | ao3

day 4: subcultures of fashion | tumblr | ao3

day 5: past fashion | tumblr | ao3

day 6: gender role subversion | tumblr | ao3

day 7: creativity | tumblr | ao3

N O V E M B E R

draped in your love, I breathe[*]

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 92856 summary:

When Phichit Chulanont, the best friend, main model, and face of Yuuri's brand of designer fashion wear decides to branch out a little, Yuuri is more than supportive. It is purely on accident that the man whom Yuuri admires (more like crushes on to the max but will die if you tease him about it), the famous Victor Nikiforov, is holding a casting for his next runway show, and since Yuuri is a good friend, he can't let Phichit go alone, now can he? Little do they both know that they're going into a meeting that will change all of their lives. For better or for worse.

ao3

D E C E M B E R

drabbles written for @vityaweek​

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 5383

day 1: confessions | tumblr

day 2: favourite au | tumblr

day 4: hairstyle | tumblr

day 5: mythology au | tumblr

day 6: his grace, royalty au | tumblr

day 7: home | tumblr

red, for love triumphant[*]

fandom: yuri on ice pairing:  victuuri words: 12088 summary:

Everything happens as we know it. Everything stays the same. Except one little detail: ever since the Junior Worlds, every time he wins, Victor gets a single rose in his fanmail.

tumblr | ao3

miscellaneous random writes: 19893

june 30

july 2

july 9

july 12

july 14

july 14

july 15

july 29

july 29

july 31

august 2

august 5

august 9

august 10

august 12

august 14

august 18

august 19

august 24

august 28

september 2

september 5

september 12

september 14

september 16

september 19

october 4

october 5

october 6

october 7

october 9

november 14

november 29 (wish for @yuuriweek2018)

december 7

[grimelords]

I just realised I wrote up my June playlist and forgot to post it at all, which benefits no one. July coming soon, but for now please enjoy three hours of two month old thoughts on the new Kanye, the Red Dead Redemption soundtrack and two songs about drinking beer.

Ghost Town - Kanye West: Now that the dust has settled around Kanye's month of chaos I can safely say Ye is great and Ghost Town is the best song on it, though it's not a coincidence that the best song is the one where Kanye says the least.

DLZ - TV On The Radio: I've been obsessed with this song for a long time. The combination of the absolutely hypnotising drums and very good cryptic lyrics about impending doom is exactly my shit. Also the whistling right at the very end is a perfect moment.

Hyph Mngo - Joy Orbison: Someone had a thing on twitter the other day that was like 'quote tweet this with a phrase you remember that if you told a younger person they wouldn't understand' and someone said Hyph Mngo and I felt age 100. This song really was such a game changer and that whole wave of stuff like this, Koreless and Jame Blake's EP's around then was such an incredible time to be alive. I am aging decades by the second and will not be around much longer.

The Shootist - Bill Elm & Woody Jackson: I've been thinking about game soundtracks a lot the past month or so for some reason and Red Dead really is an all timer. They did such a great job capturing the whole feeling without it just being a straight Morricone rip-off (though obviously it is mostly a Morricone ripoff).

Touch Me - Wish & Fonda Rae: This song is so fucking good to begin with but then it gets really really good in the middle part and where they just start going hogwild with the sampler on her vocals, and then again at the end when it starts sounding like a Battles song.

In The Vespers - Colin Stetson & Sarah Neufeld: Ever since I finished MGSV again I've been thinking about open-world stealth as a genre and how I'd do it, and this song is really the perfect kind of soundtrack to the game I'm thinking of. It's already got four alert levels built in, all the way from Tense to FUCk and back down to Calming Down But Still Scared.

Human After All - Daft Punk: Human After All is still a beguiling album in sound and vision after all this time. The amount of noise emananating from every single element in this song, and songs like Technologic is just so strange compared to everything they'd done before and since, but I think that's what I like about it. It sounds like it was made in 1979 when electronics were a novelty and everyone accepted that they'd be noisy as hell. Also I had an emotional moment this month while I was driving and listening to this song and reflecting on how we are all, human.. after all.. so who knows what's up with me.

Disparate Youth - Santigold: The production on this song is insane. The drums, the guitar, the bouncing piano, it just has so much momentum the whole way through and holy shit I just realised that the video I was talking about last month that referenced The Holy Mountain that I couldn't remember is L.E.S. Artistes by Santigold what an incredible two for one.

Violence - Parquet Courts: This song has the potential to be embarrassing but it's saved from itself by the specificity of the lyrics and the backing vocals that sound like a smiling swing band saying 'violence is daily life!'.

Jane Says - Jane's Addiction: The steel drum as the central melody line in this is such a strange and beautiful choice and also this song has two chords and no chorus. There are truly one million ways to make a good song.

Heatstroke - Calvin Harris feat. Young Thug, Pharrell Williams, Ariana Grande: I really can't believe I missed this song that came out like a year ago, so thank god my girlfriend told me about it. It's incredible. Everyone is operating at full capacity in this song and the structure is so good, the Pharrell/Thug pre-chorus could be a chorus on its own but then Ariana and Pharrell trade lines foe the actual chorus, amazing. Also when Thugger says 'she got every read bottom like a baboon’ the way the backup says '..baboon' slightly apprehensively cracks me up.

Maximum Black - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: More Bohren, carrying over from last month. This is one of my favourites of theirs, mostly just for the choir sound and the all-time great sax intro at about 4:30. When you start at absolute zero, dialling it up to a 1 sounds like bomb going off.

Dust Bunnies - Kurt Vile: This is like most Kurt Vile songs in that it's sort of just about hanging out and feeling kind of funny, which is a mindset I really relate to.

Here For The Beer - The Sloppy Boys: A bunch of guys from The Birthday Boys have a band now and it's really great. Comedy music is hard but this album is the best kind where it's just dumb ass rock and roll story songs and odes to partying. The way he says 'autographed baseball' makes me laugh every time.

Beer Pressure - Municipal Waste: Anyway that song reminded me of this song, which is almost the exact same song with a slightly different mindset.

Credulous! Credulous! - BATS: There's really something to listening to a song for ten years and then having it suddenly dawn on you one day that it's about an epilleptic 16 year old in the distant past getting treppaned by a mystic and a team of scientists in the present figuring out what happened.

Please Take Your Hand Away - Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross: Everyone's (me) always talking about how good The Social Network soundtrack is but nobody's ever talking about how they did a sequel that's just as good and goes for longer than the actual film when they released the nearly 3 hour Girl With The Dragon Tattoo soundtrack a year later. What an achievement!

What Does Your Soul Look Like Part 2 - DJ Shadow: This song is really on a whole nother level. It is really a kind of magic that you can get a 15 minute song out of a two note bassline and a drum loop, but when they're this good it looks easy. The drums especially are just absolutely hypnotising.

One Of One - Kamasi Washington: Kamasi somehow outdid himself on this one my god. The groove in this is just amazing, and the way it twists and turns into something darker and darker before the sun shines through and the hook comes back is incredible. The way the theme comes back all twisted up with strings near the end. Great stuff.

My Exit, Unfair - mewithoutYou: I honestly very nearly got converted in high school just because I was listening to so much mewithoutYou, and it still informs a lot of my religious thoughts. A running theme through a lot of their songs is wrestling with and trying to accept the idea that God has a plan for you that you definitely don't understand and getting extremely upset about it and that's about where I'm at.

Stand - R.E.M.: Apparently this was the theme to a show called Get A Life and it's funny because it really does sound perfect for a 90s tv theme. It sounds like it's two and a half minutes too long. Release the 30 second TV theme version REM.

BFG Division - Mick Gordon: I was watching a guy speedrun Doom on GDQ and the music for that game is so amazing, but it sounds really funy when the whole sppedrun is just clipping through a wall and rocket jumping halfway across the level to trigger the checkpoint. Mick Gordon really nailed this soundtrack, it's a massive part of the atmosphere of the game and it's really the logical expansion of the MIDI themes of the original, it sounds like the original in HD, this is what you thought you were hearing.

Angel's Rest - Marisa Anderson: Marisa Anderson's songs are so loosely structured they often seem dreamed up on the spot, but the sounds and moods seem so carefully considered that the notes themselves aren't so important.

Looks Like I Picked The Wrong Week To Quit Oxygen - Michael Giacchino: If Michael Giacchino doesn't get an Oscar for The Incredibles II soundtrack I'm going to riot. The climax of this is so big I had to stop myself from applauding in the theatre, it's irrepressible.

AM // Radio - Earl Sweatshirt & Wiki: I was having a week where I was really feeling like the phrase "I don't like shit, I don't go outside" and so I suddenly remembered this album. This beat is so, so good. It sounds like nothing else, and it only adds to the alien flavour by giving the second half of the track to an instrumental.

World In Harmony - Adebisi Shank: Adebisi Shank are really the perfect band. They love to have fun and have a big time and they started out with a perfect first album and only got bigger and better by the time they got to the third and broke up. This song is so powerful, and my billionaire dream is to finance a new F-Zero game and get Adebisi Shank back together to do the soundtrack.

Make Luv feat. Oliver Cheatham - Room 5: I'm slowly putting together a playlist of songs that sound like Music Sounds Better With You by Stardust in order to invoke some kind of euphoric 'best night ever' and ascend to heaven but this song is the only other one I have so far.

A Love Supreme Part II: Resolution - John Coltrane Quartet: I don't feel qualified to say anything about A Love Supreme, so I don't think I'm going to. I literally don't know where to start with this. It's damn good music.

"You Got A Killer Scene There, Man..." - Queens Of The Stone Age: This song is a real vibe. This should be a whole genre but I've never really found anything else like it. It's like if The Doors were good I suppose. It's shocking that this song only goes for 5 minutes because it really feels like it could go for 20 and you wouldn't mind. I remember a few years ago I opened this in Audition and slowed it down to 75% and I really recommend it, it makes the whole thing feel as sludgy as I think it's supposed to be and makes all the breaks that much more impactful.

Never Let Me Go - Sarah Blasko: A friend sent me this and said it sounds like a Bond theme and he's absolutely right, especially towards the end where it all starts stacking up. Maybe it would need a bit more brass to be a proper Bond theme but still, I love it.

Protection - Emma Ruth Rundle: I love Emma Ruth Rundle so much and I'm so excited that she's got a new album coming out. The absolute textural thickness she can conjure up in a song like this blows me away. I don't know what it is about her voice but it sounds like the 90s somehow. Does that make sense? This feels like 90s music, like the grunge female songwriter thing went a slightly different way and I love it.​

listen here

[joementa]

DMB - Live Trax.

Like a lot of people, Memorial Day Weekend is the unofficial summer kickoff for me.  Summer means a lot of things.  Like, it will be hot out.  You’ll find yourself at a BBQ at least once.  You’ll probably drink a cold beverage.  And Dave Matthews Band is on tour.

I know DMB is often mocked nowadays (seriously, click on this link – hilarious). But that doesn’t change the fact that they are one of the truly great live bands.  And there’s no better time to see them than in the summer.  There’s something comforting about having a few Sam Summers in the parking lot in advance of a DMB summer show.  It’s even more comforting knowing that they tour every year.  And they always change up their shows and their sound.  No two shows are ever exactly the same.  If you haven’t seen one of their shows before, do yourself a favor and catch one this summer.  Chances are that if you live in America, they are coming to a town near you.  You don’t believe me?  Just click right here and see for yourself.  

In the meantime, you might want to spend some time getting yourself familiar with their live shows.  You might be wondering ‘wait, how can I get myself familiar with DMB’s live shows before I even go to a show?’  Well, the answer is that they have officially released a ton of their live shows.  Some of them are essential summer albums, including the historic The Central Park Concert, Listener Supported, The Gorge and their very first live album Live at Red Rocks 8.15.95.  All of these live albums deserve a listen!

DMB also has a series of live show releases which are released under the title Live Trax.  For a long time, you could only get these from the band’s official website.  A couple of years ago they put the first 20 releases in the Live Trax series, plus Live Trax 2008 (an album previously only available to those who purchased a ticket to a summer 2008 show), on streaming sites.  We are all lucky because of this.

Because each show is at least 2 hours long and is unique, I don’t think you will have enough time to listen to each show before you go see them live in concert (which I am assuming you will do this year!).  As a result, I decided to put together a playlist of summer songs from the Live Trax series to give you a little taste of what a DMB show is like.  I usually structure my playlists to flow like a show would and should, and focused extra hard this time on doing that.  I think you will find that to be the case if you listen to this playlist.  Which you should.  It’s a great summer playlist.

Because I only included summer songs in this playlist, there were a few amazing songs that had to be left off, including what I think to be THE definitive version of “Crash Into Me” from Live Trax Vol. 7 (you are really doing yourself, and your ears, a disservice if you don’t listen to this), as well as “#40” from Live Trax Vol. 12 (to me, early May is not summer, so I had to leave this song off).  I’d also recommend that you listen to both “Two Step” and “Crash Into Me” from Live Trax Vol. 18 back-to-back.  The band did an incredible segue where they did the typical drum outro to “Two Step” and then went right into “Crash Into Me”.  It sounds so cool to listen to.  I wish I had been at that show!  

So what am I proving with this nearly 3 hour long playlist?  Many things. DMB is one of the best live bands ever. They are perfect for summer.  The playlist is perfect for driving with the windows down on a sunny afternoon (preferably through tree-lined Pennsylvania back-roads.  Seriously. Try it.  So perfect!)  We are lucky that “The Idea Of You”, one of their best songs of the past 15 years, FINALLY received a proper studio release over 10 years after it was first played live. I think we can all hope that we will be lucky that “JTR”, a song first played nearly 20 years, finally gets the proper studio release that it so obviously deserves.  The Live Trax series is worth exploring.  Unfortunately only the first 20 releases in the series are available to stream, but there are a ton of great releases not available to stream that I would recommend purchasing.

As you listen to this playlist, I hope you think of answers to some of the questions I have for you. Better yet, I hope you tell me the answers.  Like, how perfect is that “One Sweet World” opener?  How awesome is “The Idea Of You”?  How crazy does Carter go on “Tripping Billies”?  How awesome of a drummer is Carter?  Haven’t you been paying attention to how great he is?  Do you enjoy the fade-out outro to “Crash Into Me”? (the band hasn’t done that in over 20 years).

This was a tough playlist for me to complete, because there were so many great choices.  If you saw all of my notes for this one, you would know what I mean.  There was a lot of rewrites and edits while I completed it.  All of that hard work so that both you and I can enjoy this playlist throughout our summer!  I truly hope that you enjoy this one and find that it is as appropriate for summer as I made it out to be.  Open your windows, feel the warmth, crack open a Sam Summer if you aren’t driving (my personal DMB pre-show drink of choice) and enjoy the great summer sound of Dave Matthews Band.  Hopefully I will see you at a DMB show this summer!

Link to playlist on Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/dmb-live-trax/pl.u-8aAVXLqUNmrv5R

Link to playlist on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/joementa/playlist/7DOS3gvWbR3rkRXjaLgWNT?si=5UrwKj5qTGWVxhhu0QxYCw

“One Sweet World” (Live Trax Vol. 2 - September 12, 2004 - San Francisco, CA)

“What Would You Say?” (Live Trax Vol. 11 - August 29, 2000 - Saratoga Springs, NY)

“Granny” (Live Trax Vol. 8 - August 7, 2004 - East Troy, WI)

“Recently” (Live Trax Vol. 20 - August 19, 1993 - New York, NY)

“The Idea Of You” (Live Trax Vol. 14 - June 28, 2008 - Bristow, VA)

“JTR” (Live Trax Vol. 3 - August 27, 2000 - Hartford, CT)

“The Stone” (Live Trax Vol. 19 - September 30, 2008 - Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

“Busted Stuff” (Live Trax Vol. 3 - August 27, 2000 - Hartford, CT)

“Drive In, Drive Out” (Live Trax Vol. 5 - August 23, 1995 - Rochester Hills, MI)

“Lie In Our Graves” (Live Trax Vol. 2 - September 12, 2004 - San Francisco, CA)

“#41” (Live Trax Vol. 16 - June 26, 2000 - Cincinnati, OH)

“Crush” (Live Trax 2008)

“Crash Into Me” (Live Trax Vol. 18 - June 4, 1996 - Virginia Beach, VA)

“You Might Die Trying” (Live Trax Vol. 15 - August 9, 2008 - East Troy, WI)

“Rhyme & Reason” (Live Trax Vol. 13 - June 7, 2008 - St. Louis, MO)

“Warehouse” (Live Trax Vol. 6 - July 7-8, 2006 - Boston, MA)

“Tripping Billies” (Live Trax Vol. 13 - June 7, 2008 - St. Louis, MO)

“#Lover Lay Down“ (Live Trax Vol. 17 - July 6, 1997 - Mountain View, CA)

“Two Step” (Live Trax Vol. 19 - September 30, 2008 - Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

“Ants Marching” (Live Trax Vol. 14 - June 28, 2008 - Bristow, VA)