#( ooc ━ shouting from my soapbox. ) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

davekat-sucks · 4 months ago

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look, i’m sorry, but I just can’t get over this, in that screenshot you posted the hicu even called him the most self-adjusted in the cast, what the actual fuck. Faggot Vantas? Self-adjusted? How. If they are not making the same tired, rancid jokes about how ~HOT~ his mantits are now, they’re sucking on their own OOC shitty version of Karkat’s dick until it’s dry.

i’m beyond tired of this shitshow hyper-focusing every single update (whenever they actually happen once in a fucking blue moon because the pacing is that fucking horrible and slow) on dragging Jade and Rose, who used to be my favorite characters, through the mud and humiliating them just to prop up Karkat as their moral paragon mouthpiece on a soapbox screaming down at everyone else and calling them desperate whiny whores and wombs.

So, I’m going to do exactly what he does and go on a way too long rant against the nu-fandom and hicu’s golden boy, whom they love to project onto so much that they don’t even realize he’s the worst-written asshole in the entire comic. Or maybe they do, and that’s why Karkat is such a fucking imbecile now, because they relate to him and genuinely think he’s in the right.

Karkat ranting and telling Rose about how she supposedly wasted years doing nothing or that she was never good enough for Cucknaya, all while unironically shouting some cringy-ass “Troll Lives Matter” bullshit is RICH, considering he spent his entire life begging on his knees to be a Threshecutioner so he could personally execute the very trolls that eugenicist tyrant fish-fucking-Hitler deemed as “not good enough”. He literally said on text that he admired her leadership so much that he wanted to serve her, even knowing damn well that she would have culled him and everyone he cared about without a second thought if given the chance, and he was fine with that, just as long as he was an exception.

And look at him now, Meenah’s little glorified dildo, helping her commit genocide, pretending as if he cares about “his people”. As if he’s not just using the war as an excuse to kill people for a scrap of highblood validation (the Signless doing backflips in his grave) all while doing absolutely nothing of substance in the story except for whining about missing Dave.

The EXACT same fucking pattern as what happened to him in the retconned timeline after Game Over, where he was totally fine with letting Meenah lead the ghosts of all his dead friends to their death by Lord English, as long as he got to give a cringy speech (about Dave) and be "second in command", all so he could feel special. Because god forbid he be reminded that he’s just another one of those “unworthy, disgusting mutants” or that he’s a worthless leader who never had what it takes, or else he’ll just cry about it like a little bitch like he always does. His self-esteem and moral are that fucking nonexistent.

So NO, sit the fuck down Karkat, you traitorous Judas bitch with negative self awareness, who do you think you are to tell ANYONE that they were never good enough. You’re so fucking worthless that Terezi literally had John go back in time to tell her past self you weren’t shit *instead* of reviving the trolls that died because she didn’t want to date your sorry ass and regretted wasting so much time on you. And she chose to revive fucking Vriska of all people (the one bitch that ruined her life more than you did) just so she could forget about you and find someone else to take her for granted and treat her like shit.

But no, according to Karkat, Jade is the desperate bitchy one. And I’m quoting him in the new upd8 here, because this shit pissed me off with how hypocritical it is:

KARKAT: MAYBE THE REST OF YOU HAVE A LOT TO CATCH UP ON VIS A VIS JADE HARLEY'S DESPERATION SITUATION, BUT I LIVED IT. KARKAT: FOR YEARS! KARKAT: "OH POOR ME, EVERYTHING GETS TAKEN AWAY FROM ME, NOBODY EVER CONSIDERS MY FEELINGS." KARKAT: "NONE OF THE FRIENDS IN MY LIFE GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME DESPITE ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME WHENEVER I NEED TO BITCH AND MOAN."

They really wrote this about JADE, who was the one person that was genuinely ignored and lonely for YEARS and still was willing to always helping everyone she cared for with a smile and pushing down her feelings to do so ever since the comic started, and sacrificed her life to save John's dreamself. While Karkat was the desperate horny simp that got canonically horny over the idea of Jade making out with Jadesprite, who was crying after realizing she died, and only helped her because he wanted to make Terezi jealous and later on wanted Jade to like him so fucking badly because he had such a big fucking crush on her that he made something she said the password to his room. Fucking Cascade happened thanks to her going God tier, nobody would be alive without her.

I think the fact that the writers retconned and swapped Jade and Karkat’s characters and relationship so they could frame HER as the desperate horny mess that was thirsty for everyone, all so they can paint Dave and Karkat as victims and her a homewrecking sex pest forcing herself onto Karkat because they genuinely think that is treating her character as “good” or making her “complex and layered” really says a lot about them. Underage yaoi fangirls that write fanfics killing the female character that gets in between their ship wish they could get paid for doing the same shit.

So now Jade is the desperate whiny bitch for daring to imply that nobody gave a single iota of a fuck about her, as though this is incorrect, or she wasn’t completely abandoned, left to rot alone in that ship thinking John was dead for good, and Davesprite left her without telling her why. And that’s the thing, despite what Hussie and HICU try to do retconning Jade and calling her a whiny ungrateful bitch to make Dave & Karkat look good, she never once complained about growing up alone in the original comic. Never whined, never threw a fit, never made her loneliness growing up anyone else’s problem. Never once said anything about doing taxidermy with her grandfather's corpse at 5 years old, since we are turning gags into grounded narratives now.

Contrast that with fucking Act 6 DAVE, who made his daddy issues everyone else’s problem by being the excuse he gave to not want to kill Lord English, essentially choosing to let his friends die. Or fucking Act 6 and beyond Karkat, who, when not BITCHING AND MOANING about how Terezi chose Dave over him or how Dave “took” Terezi away from him (and rejected his stupid chart to share her), spent every single second of his screentime wallowing in self-pity over how everyone supposedly hated him for his blood color or that he was a bad leader, even though they weren’t in Alternia anymore and not a single person ever actually giving a fuck about that, not even ONCE. During his session he was ALWAYS supported even though he didn’t deserve it since he NEVER FUCKING THANKED ANYONE FOR *THEIR* SACRIFICES TO HIM.

And I point this out because they also had the gall to have Candy!Karkat call SOLLUX a lazy, uncaring asshole. One of the FEW people who actually DID SHIT for his team, programming the actual fucking game Karkat needed to even get in, managing the trolls’ computers and viewports so Karkat could chat with the humans and be able to confess his hatedom for John, and literally DYING TWICE to save Karkat’s pathetic ass.

Because, just like his nonexistant brain, this pedantic manlet’s backbone is so pathetically underdeveloped that the only thing it ever allowed him to do when it MATTERED was piss his diapers in fear of Gamzee, Vriska and Eridan (who, by the way, all got taken down in five seconds by fucking Cucknaya, the only person as much of a spineless enabling pansy as he is) while throwing the burden of confrontation onto his personal meatshield Equius getting both Nepeta and Tavros killed in the process, after crying like a little bitch that his other meatshield Sollux was knocked out by Eridan, because all Karkat did when Eridan knocked Sollux out and killed Feferi&Kanaya was stand there like a drooling retard with his mouth open in shock instead of cutting this shit out like the leader he claimed he was and later gave up being, so fucking VRISKA could take the mantle and order everyone around. The bitch that was the entire reason they got stuck in murderstuck, because she was the one that CREATED BEC NOIR and gave Jade narcolepsy, all so she could play hero.

Such a half-assed pathetic coward, so allergic to accountability and confrontation, that he couldn’t even own up to his feelings for Terezi without resorting to manipulative games. Couldn’t have the basic decency to give Nepeta a clear rejection despite hypocritically telling Eridan to treat her like a person. Couldn’t handle the humbling of John rejecting HIM and so instead went back in time to troll him backwards. Couldn’t confess to Jade either after only liking her when she insulted him back because he’s a raving masochist.

Terezi was getting isolated by Gamzee, Kanaya had to deal with Rose being an alcoholic, and Jade was isolated alone in the ship after thinking John had died. And did Karkat give any of a shit about that, or even try to go God Tier or try to find a way to revive his dead friends? Fuck no, for he was too busy spending the rest of his screentime fellating himself for years over his thousandth rewatch of The Notebook while his pookiebear deadbeat Dave passed out on that crusty-ass couch from sheer boredom in that stupid meteor after he dumped Terezi for daring to get trapped in an abusive relationship with Gamzee, because Karkat also COULDN’T do his *ONE* fucking duty of PACIFYING HIS OWN FUCKING MOIRAIL or at least LETTING KANAYA KILL HIM.

And somehow, ridiculously, out of nowhere, Hussie decided that the best way to "develop" this character was to have him latch onto Terezi’s sloppy seconds, since Dave looked and acted just enough like Sollux to make him horny. And with that, Hussie found a new target to paint Karkat as the victim and satisfy his disgusting fantasy of asinine romcom love triangles: Jade. A character Hussie clearly hated, stripping her of any dignity by giving her a dog dick, making her a terrible mother, complicit in cheating and naming her daughter fucking Yiffy, all just to further humiliate her.

And now the writers decide Karkat grows a spine? Now he suddenly has the nerve to hypocritically claim that Rose did nothing for years? Just to defend his pookie Dave, after he broke down sobbing at the sight of his dead carcass like a little bitch, right in front of his girlfriend? He insults those two, but not Meenah, Vriska's groomer, whose only personality trait now is thirsting after his tiny dick, consoling him every time he whines about Dave, get cheated on by Karkat with Davebot later, and apparently now having a plan to keep her boytoy alive longer since he's mortal? Exactly like HIC did with the fucking Psiioniic?

And on top of all that, they have Karkat have the audacity to insult Jade and call HER desperate and make Rose cry? AND MAKE JOHN CLAP AT HIM RIGHT AFTERWARDS FOR INSULTING HIS OLDEST FRIENDS AND SAY THAT NOW THINGS ARE BETTER THANKS TO KARKAT PUTTING THEM IN THEIR PLACE?

They always have to character assassinate SOMEONE to make Karkat look better. John so Karkat can be the leader figure, Jane so Karkat can become an ~oppressed minority~ again by making her become a trump allegory because the writers are THAT fucking crazy obsessed with politics, Roxy so she can be mocked as a "centrist" as if it's a derogatory slur for not wanting Karkat to murder Jane after she was already beheaded, Jake so they can go "see! karkat is not the ONLY one sexualized! we're not perverts, it's a PLOT thing uwu", Jade so someone gets in between Karkat and his true love Dave, Dirk so he can force davekat to happen because it really is THAT nonsensical and unplausible to happen naturally, Sollux so Karkat can whine and criticize him for not doing anything and mock for not getting laid, Meenah so she can constantly say how hot he is and how stupid Jade is for not wanting him, Rose so they can point out how Karkat is not the most morally reprehensible lazy piece of shit around, Kanaya so Karkat can be shown to care about ONE of his troll friends, and Dave who can validate everything Karkat is saying about how Jade is a fucking crazy whore because he also canonically has said that she was a whiny bitch that didn't have a life as hard as his, and that's why he and Karkat belong together. Because they both are lazy deadbeats that hate Jade and think she's a whiny bitch that didn't have as hard of a life as neither of them.

Because at the end of the day, no matter how HARD they try to hamfistedly shove in every sentence that Karkat is ~SOOOOO~ caring and thoughtful, how he is the glue that keeps them together or some shit, what was actually SHOWN of Karkat’s entire incomprehensible mess of a character has been about how he only cares about HIS wants and needs. HIS problems. HIS motivation. HIS pain. HIS insecurities. HIS Strider. Everyone else? Completely irrelevant, unless they align with his wants or make him feel good about himself.

Nothing Karkat did was selfless, it was always because he wanted to get something out of it. Otherwise why not revive his dead friends if he allegedly cared so much about them? Why not help Rose with her alcoholism in the meteor? Or visit John since he was lonely? Nothing to gain out of it, except being a good friend to him. But I guess since John didn’t want his dick, Karkat thought he could choke.

So here he is once again, Karkat horrendous ooc shitshow manipulating the narrative to make hismself the victim and Jade the horrendous villain, because the writers related a little bit too fucking much to him and Dave, as per usual.

And so, to me, this whole rant about Jade’s supposed "desperation" is really just Karkat (and the writers) projecting.

The ONE thing that was prevalent and has remained from Karkat’s shitty inconsistent mess of a character is that he was always a fucking disaster reeking of desperation: desperate for approval, for validation, for a relationship he can cling to.

Desperate enough to spend his entire existence crying about how he was the victim while completely ignoring the suffering of literally everyone else around him. Desperate enough to always play second fiddle to Vriska or Meenah leadership and doing shit in the story, when he was supposed to be a main character. And now, to top it all off, turns out this spineless loser faked having a yeast infection just to avoid fucking Jade, whom he previously LIKED, because he was too much of a coward to confront the nicest girl he ever knew, a character who was absolutely butchered in this dogshit sequel, all because he was THAT desperate for Dave’s cock to accept being in a throuple for an opportunity to get Jade’s sloppy seconds.

Instead of showing even one sliver of maturity or growth for what happened to his friends, he chose to use this as fuel for his never ending self-pity parties and forever stayed a whiny little bitch with zero dignity, with his character reduced to retarded teenage lovedrama until the very end and to this day. And even if Karkat DOES revive his friends later? Fuck you, too little too late.

And what is Meat!Karkat doing?

Sucking Dave's disck with gusto, not caring that Jade was possessed or that Kanaya was cucked or that John was killed.

So fucking nothing. The same shit he always has done.

Pathetic.

And this is why Clover <3 Candy!Karkat at Super weenie hut jr is better than davekat,

Because reminder that this hypocritical selfish, self-absorbed, resentful manchild's last and ONLY feat in the original comic right after the timeline got retconned thanks to him being so unlikable and incompetent, was him celebrating beating CLOVER.

Clover <3 Candy!Karkat at Super Weenie Hut Jr is better than Davekat. And everything you just typed. About Karkat, about this update, all of it...is just PERFECT!!!

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mnemehoshiko · 8 years ago

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Star Wars: The Last Jedi [BULLETPOINT TRASH EDITION]

A SPOILERS AND OPINIONS ABOUND AND POOR FORMATTING CHOICES

(with bonus citing of external canon sources mainly the visual dictionary leaks)

Short version: I FUCKING LOVED THIS MOVIE ON SO MANY LEVELS AND IASDFSDFDASFASDSFDSFDSFSSAFDSADFSDF

Long version:

I enjoyed TFA. But it was very much a safe remake movie because JJ can literally only do remakes and monster movies. I’m also still bitter over Into Darkness BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU’RE HERE FOR SO I’M GONNA MOVE ON.

I really enjoyed Rogue One. It broke new ground etc etc but it had the freedom to do that because it wasn’t dependent on anything ultra important.

TLJ had the awkward positioning of figuring out how to move the main story forward in new and interesting ways AND not remake ESB. And I’m going to be super honest, I was 20% certain they were going to go Rey Skywalker??? Mainly because fanboys are amazingly uncreative but also because it would be a very safe way to go. Ohhhhh, of course Rey has the force. It’s because she’s of the Skywalker bloodline. ALL MAKES SENSE IN THE WORLD AGAIN.

As soon as Luke tossed that saber off the cliff, I knew that all my expectations were going to be subverted. AND IT WAS AMAZING!!!!

AND ON THE TOPIC OF LUKE, there seems to be two camps the

HELL YEAH LUKE SKYWALKER camp or the

OMG RIAN YOU RUINED STAR WARS AND LUKE ANDFS@#EWREWRWE camp, to which I’m like

so like did you watch the Original Trilogy my dudes?

No really did you watch the “OMG SHE’S PRETTY WE TOTALLY NEED TO RESCUE HER!!”

the “WELP BRB HEADING TO DAGOBAH WITH NO WARNING BECAUSE REASONS!!!!”

“NO WAIT MY FRIENDS NEED MY HELP SORRY GOTTA GO”

“BRB I JUST GOT MY WORLD VIEW TRAUMATIZED AND I NEED TO FALL IN THE ABYSS LIKE AN EXTRA (TM) BITCH”

“OH HEY I’M GONNA FIGHT MY DAD IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT I HAVE NO TRAINING WHATSOEVER BECAUSE YOLOOOOOOOOO”

like Luke Skywalker lives on impulse

much like his father

like according to the visual dictionary, Leia was supposed to be his first student and she like said no due to like politics and family stuff

but lbr she probably looked at Luke YOLO Skywalker and was like....yeah no my dude you are a messssss

never be the first grad student

also like IF REYSKY was a thing

you’re basically saying

YES I WANT MY HERO LUKE SKYWALKER

TO DROP A KID OF A SANDY WASTELAND THAT EVEN HE BELIEVES IS NOWHERE

which like my dude, he’s from Tatooine and if he’s saying Jakku is nowhere. then like that place is like purgatory

like I STRONGLY BELIEVE if like Rey was his kid he AT LEAST would have dropped her

somewhere with reliable foster parents

and like water

LOTS OF WATER

OKAY I’M DONE RANTING ABOUT THIS

ANYWAY like I can totally believe with like Luke seeing the #darkness + probably Snoke’s influence in his head his immediate response was OMG WE GOTTA KILL IT and then went...oh wait this....is not a chill idea maybe we should talk shit out first/meditate etc

and like IMMEDIATE REGRET AFTERWARDS

honestly this is like textbook Male Skywalker bullshit 101

I HAVE DONE A THING!!! i regret everything now

THIS IS A HORRIBLE SEGUE BUT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY AVENGING SPACE ANGEL LEIA ORGANA!!!!!

*CRIES A LOT*

RIAN JUST LOVES LEIA AND CARRIE SO MUCH

*UGLY SOBBING*

LEIA USED THE FORCE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

EAT IT FANBOYS!!!

FUCKING IT!!!

LIKE I KNEW BUT LIKE PURE PROOF IN FUCKING CANON

LEIA! IS! FUCKING! FORCE! SENSITIVE!!!!!

also i’m 99% certain Luke didn’t teach it her that trick so like my homegirl literally DID THAT

i just love leia so fukcing much and yes okay the cgi was kind of wonky BUT I DON’T GIVE A FUCK BECAUSE MY GENEARAL/PRINCESS JUST USED THE FORCE LIKE A BOSS THAT SHE IS

Also i just love Leia so much in this

like That Shot on Crait with her eyes over the collar is like

POETIC CINEMA

no really someone hook a girl up and give me that shot as a lock screen

Also that scene post mutiny showing up in a 3000-thread count couture bathrobe, a matching cane, and blaster? #AESTHETIC

also personal opinion but Billie Lourd in that scene wasn’t acting as much as oh god i’m in trouble face that all children go through

**MORE UGLY SOBBING*

OKAY LETS TALK ABOUT POE ONLY BECAUSE IT’S MY BLOG AND I DO WANT I WANT

*steps on step stool*

I DID NOT CARE ABOUT POE DAMERON IN TFA BECAUSE IT WAS SUPER OBVIOUS THAT HE WAS GOING TO DIE AND ONLY GOT TO LIVE BECAUSE OSCAR ASKED JJ TO LIVE AND OSCAR ISAAC IS PRETTY BUT LIKE THAT’S ALL I GOT OUT OF THE MOVIE.

*climbs off soapbox* Poe in this film GAINED SOME DEPTH, sadly it seems to be very polarizing and I think that’s in part due to the fact that it’s pulling on backstory from the EU, primarily Shattered Empire and the Poe Dameron Comics. Shattered Empire doesn’t directly include Poe but it involves his parents, Shara Bey and Kes Dameron. His mom, Shara, went on a mission with Leia and some others for some reason I can’t remember BUT ANYWAY SHE’S A BOSS. A HERO OF THE REBELLION. Poe literally grew up around heroes. One of his squad mates in Poe Dameron is another hero from the rebellion. He has a very wide-eyed view on the concept of heroism? For him it’s daring deeds and important war-changing missions, he’s very much a soldier and not at a leader. At least not yet. You get this immediately from the fight scene with First Order and the bombing run and the aftermath of it.

Poe sees what’s in front of him which is a destroyed Star Destroyer (?), Leia sees the whole picture which is a single ship destroyed at the cost of a significant part of their fleet. Yes, there were heroes but a resistance can’t survive on dead heroes.

You see this again in his willingness to go after the high-risk plan to somehow hack the main ship to get them to stop tracking them. He’s thinking YES THIS IS THE BOLD PLAN MISSION OF MY DREAMS!!! Except it fails, and yes I completely understand that this could have been avoid with like communication but to embark on communication? You need to let go of your ego. Ego is not a BAD THING, but sometimes it can prevent us from being our best self. The best leader we can be. And Poe does learn this as you can see with Leia passing the baton of leadership to Poe on Crait. As Poe realizes that a dramatic last stand isn’t worth the loss. It’s better to run to let the rebellion live than to die in a burst of glory. Those are the hard choices a leader has to make.

OKAY MOVING ON BECAUSE I SUCK AT TRANSITIONS, LETS TALK ABOUT ONE OF MY SONS, FINN TICO

I LOVE MY SON AND HIS TRANSITION FROM BEING A MERE FIRST ORDER DEFECTOR TO A MEMBER OF THE REBELLION !!!!!!! First I loved the fact that his characterization followed naturally from TFA which TO RECAP consisted of:

realizing that the First Order is a horrible idea;

getting the fuck out via some convenient pilot dude who (supposedly) dies;

meeting a girl who STRAIGHT UP ATTACKS HIM under the hearsay of a droid

realizing she’s the BEST THING SINCE TROOPER RATIONS and attempting to flirt because running away from a organization is best done in at least a pair

getting caught up in Resistance nonsense you are 1000% Not Here for because YOU KNOW THE FIRST ORDER and you know losing odds

aforementioned Girl is taken by the First Order and you’re like WELP GUESS I GOTTA TEMPORARILY JOIN this horrible idea to save girl

Tries to save girl but gets knocked out

END OF MOVIE

TLJ PICKS UP immediately after this in which his first and only thought is FIND REY AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS NONSENSE. THIS IS NOT WORTH DYING FOR Y’ALL ARE CRAZY. Which lets be real, you’re dealing with an organization.....that can destroy an entire space system that you have personal experience with. You’ve just been attacked by the First Order, the Resistance is worse off than they were BEFORE YOU WENT TO (attempt) SAVE REY. Finn’s main priority is WELP THIS IS A LOSING CAUSE GONNA GET MY FRIEND AND BOUNCE BECAUSE I DON’T WANT HER TO DIE.

Then it hit’s him like a shock. Figuratively and literally because Rose shows up.

BEFORE I TALK ABOUT ROSE I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT PAIGE ALSO KNOWN AS i was pretty sure she was gonna die but it felt natural-ish and I also know need to buy Cobalt Squadron for like TICO SISTER FEELS. But during that bombing run you immediately got the sense of

what she was doing was already extremely risky

YOU’RE IN SHIP FULL OF BOMBS

and that her last moments were of someone incredibly important to her

and like eventually TO ALL OF US AND MEEEE

I’m going to be honest and say that this plot was probably the weakest for the audience and for me. I understood what they were trying to cover but I feel some sections got cut for the final version.

BUT BACK TO CHARACTERS, FINN!!!!

had to deal with the struggle of moving past Rey as his sole guiding focus of his story?

Also people are like OMG WHY IS HE SO WIDE EYED ON CANTO BIGHT?!?! THAT’S OOC!!!

and i’m like my dudes

he’s never been outside of the pod of stormtroopers like EVER

HE’S FROM A LIFE OF MONOCHROME AND NOW INFUSED IN A LIFE OF COLOR

Finn: OMG THIS PLACE IS AWESOME Rose: this place is trash and I’m gonna fight it

Also can I give a shout out to that section where he’s explaining the plan to Poe and like Rose is like AHEM I’M HAPPY TO HAVE A FELLOW NERD BUT ALSO I CAN TALK!!!!

Poe on the otherhand is like....ah yes...cute nerds are talking....OH WE CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP FOR FREEDOM!!! YES SOUNDS GREAT!!!

Also his interactions with DJ are essentially him seeing a potential future for himself

and like trash meta moment, unlike Kylo “I Make Poor Life Choices” Ren, he makes the decision to reject that future for himself.

Like Finn’s arc in this movie I would argue is to stop being a passive observer in the narrative and to start CLAIMING his space in the narrative that is Star Wars

like FANON!Finn is very much the Resistance automatically accepting him and him become The Dude in The Resistance

this movie ACTUALLY DID THE CHARACTER WORK for him to become a leader in the Resistance

Look I really love Finn and he finally got the character development he deservessssss

MOVING ON TO MY NEWEST DAUGHTER!!!!

ROSE!!! TICO!!! BEST DAUGHTER!! GOOD DAUGHTER!!! MY SMOL ENGINEER!!

Okay, first off. I will like forever and ever be thankful to Rian for casting Kelly Marie Tran SO JOT THAT SHIT DOWN

BUT MNEME SHE ABUSED--

finish that sentence and i will unhinge my maw to consume your filthy soul

AHEM, I mean you’re entitled to your opinions

which are wrong

SERIOUSLY THO, every time someone goes “Rose straight-up shocked a black boy till he passed out!!!!!” I’m like

okay one, he’s canonically 23 years old

like as a black woman and one with a little brother I’m very cognizant of the impact of black violence in media and the constant view of black boys as adults

but also HE’S 23

two, Rey straight up clobbered him under the hearsay of BB-8 saying that “oh that dude has my dad’s jacket” compared to Rose catching him escaping via escape pods after catching 2/3 people doing the same thing earlier that day + losing her only living family

like if this is the hill you want to die on!?!?!?!?

I JUST REALLY ROSE BECAUSE SHE’S THE ENGINEER TAKE NO SHIT DISNEY PRINCESS OF MY COLD DEAD HEART SPACE

I just she’s so quick and smart but get put into the ANTI-SOCIAL ASSHOLE BOX???

like yes she’s very good and detailed at her job

She also wants to fight everyone

like if i wrote an academia au (but Mneme you do---) she would be like the HELLO CLASS THIS IS OUR EXAM ALSO BONUS POINTS IF YOU GO ON A FIELD TRIP WITH ME ^_^

Student: Dr. Tico, that field is a protest.

Dr. Tico: I HAVE SIGNS AND HANDCUFFS!!!!

I just really loved her arc on Canto Bight and her care for the little people and also the emphasis it’s not the wide dramatic actions that make the resistance but the people that make it thrive.

“We win by saving what we love.”

Mneme that kiss was sexless--

THE GIRL JUST KNOCKED A SHIP OUT OF THE WAY OF A CANNON, GIVE THE GIRL A BREAK

She’s be more than down to climb him like a tree later.

OKAY WHILE WE’RE STILL DEALING WITH THE RESISTANCE

I UNDERSTAND WHY ADMIRAL AMILYN HOLDO DIED AND THE SHOT WAS BEAUTIFUL AND ELEGANT AND JUST

#POETIC CINEMA

but also *UGLY SOBBING*

so like yes I understand that this probably could have been solved via OPEN COMMUNICATION but

Poe has literally just been demoted for flyboy antics

Poe initial interaction with Admiral Holdo consists of “soooo do you understand the situation” in front of a bunch of upper level brass

like maybe if he was like HEY HOW CAN I HELP it would have been better but he literally goes

HI ADMIRAL PLEASE LET EXPLAIN YOUR JOB AFTER I JUST MANAGED TO GET A HUGE CHUNK OF THE FLEET DEMOLISHED

cue Oscar Isaac’s prettiness

so like I understand but also I DISAGREE

also when Amilyn talks to Leia when Poe is like being carted onto the transport saying “I like him!” I’m 99% certain it was implied that she was also down to bang

actually knowing what I know from Leia, Princess of Alderaan

she’s TOTALLY DOWN TO BANG

OKAY LETS FINISH UP THIS NONSENSE WITH REMAINING TWO CHARAS ALSO KNOWN AS THIS IS A BIASED REVIEW AND IF YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO YOU CAN LIKE STOP HERE AND GO

......

.....

....

*looks around* okay they’re gone?

*TAKES OUT MIC*

FIRST THING FIRST, I HAVE BEEN REY NO ONE SINCE FOREVER AND NOW I AM VALIDATED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD~~~~

It also follows from what Maz said in TFA, “you know they aren’t coming back.” This movie is Rey coming to terms with the failure that her parents inflicted on her, abandonment, and realizing that she doesn’t need some grand legacy to save the galaxy. Being herself is enough, and that’s so so beautiful to meeeeeeeeeeeeee. *weeps*

#POETIC CINEMA

SECOND, KYLO’S ARC WAS GEARED TOWARDS MEEEEEE!!! THANK YOU FOR VALIDATING ALL THE CHARACTER SHIT I HAVE BEEN SAYING ABOUT KYLO REN SINCE TFA THAT I THOUGHT WAS FUCKING OBVIOUS!!!!!!

Them: KYLE RON WAS TOTALLY DOWN TO KILL HAN AND UNREMORSEFUL. Me: ???? did we watch the same movie??

did you like look at the lighting in that scene???

the facial expressions??

LITERALLY EVERYTHING BEFORE THAT SCENE ABOUT BEING SEDUCED BY THE LIGHT?!!?!?

Kylo himself in TLJ: i didn’t hate him

THIS CONFLICT, THIS UNBALANCEDNESS CONTINUES THROUGH OUT THE FILM!?!? Also, I’m going to be hella honest

pre-TLJ: Renperor is such a horrible trope because Kylo Ren is a disaster human being who has no business and no interest (see Bloodline) in ruling??? LIKE YOU ARE ASSIGNING COMPETENCE TO MY SON WHERE THERE IS NONE

post-TLJ: alright, I can Work With This and I’m 99% certain he is going to be ousted because the FO is like who is this human disaster with the political savvy of a blunt post

like any credibility was lost as soon as he decided to have force tantrum when Luke showed up

and the SHOOT THAT SHIP OUT OF THE SKY!!!! moment

like my son leads wears his trash heart on his sleeve and EVERYONE KNOWS IT

honestly the fact that he managed to lie about killing Snoke is a miracle

but this CANON!renperor

this Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, which i am like laugh my ass of over, is not some triumphant Dark Fuck Prince??

He’s broken man who has thrown so so much into rejecting the light, becoming the monster that his uncle he feared he would become and realized that he done fucked up.

He tells Rey, Let the past die, kill it if you have to.

LITERALLY CANNOT LET THE PAST DIE

does copy his namesakes dramatic robe dropping so like there’s that

Also pre-TLJ: meh there’s a 50/50 chance he’s a virgin but lol it will never but touched on in canon

Post-TLJ: oh god he’s a virgin i will fight you on thissss

AND NOW BECAUSE I AM THAT PERSON REY AND KYLO’S OVERLAPPING ARCS

*SCREAMS* FORCE BOND FORCE BOND FORCE BOND

oh did i mention FORCE BOND!?!?!?!?!

Okay yes Snoke helped it along but like THAT LAST SCENE WITH THE DICE AND KYLO LOOKING UP AND SEEING REY

Snoke is dead bitches

what is it

it’s the Force

it was so good to meee

Honestly that face was peak “I’m disappointed but not surprised, I left all your shit on the porch. *SLAMS DOOR IN FACE*”

Like THE INTIMACY OF THOSE FORCE BOND SCENES

and like the evolution and like ASDFDSFSDAFDS

this was so good to me y’all

so good

no really i like never rec meta but like this *kisses fingers* http://corseque.tumblr.com/post/168629533017 good shit

THAT REGENCY TRASH PROPOSAL OF FAILURE

so good

so awful

congrats Kylo, you’ve surpassed your granddad in poor wooing skills

Like literally I can see Anakin standing next to him Force Ghost!Stylez and is just like appalled

so appalled

okay i’m done I’m going to think about star wars and start throwing all my money at the EU YET AGAIN

#tlj spoilers #reylo #finnrose #star wars #STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI #i just loved this movie a lot y'all #it was so good to me on so many levels #I AM LIVING

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