#(Frustrating.)
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grandma who im not out to has been a trump voter for all three of these damn elections and i just found out she now regrets it because of elon doing that fuckass salute on inauguration day. grandma. grandma your daughter (my mom) has been telling you since DAYYYYY FUCKING ONE you would regret this. im sorry it had to be in your face for you to realize she was right !!
#shes tejano too that side of my family is....#im not about to be one of those annoying ass “ohhhhhh you earned this!! im so glad this is backfiring on you!!!” bitches its just#frustrating.#she has grandchildren. GREAT grandchildren. did she not think once to look into what she would sign us all up for?#sometimes i want to talk to this side of the family more but most of them voted this way. most of em regret it now. i give UPPPP#coming out to my parents went weird enough anyways all those years ago im never coming out to extended family atp#vent#mossball.txt
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God the temptation to just. Either take down and rewrite or just give up entirely on all of my main projects so I can learn how to write well* and only post good quality stuff is. So high man. Ahhhh!
*by learn how to write well I mean with a skillset that I don't currently posses. I feel like I've been trying to get there, but my attempts have been stilted and feel very surface level. I've really got to study more.
#erurandomness#i think it feels worse to be trying to be good at somwthing and failing than just being okay#feels cringe to be imitating it and failing badly#and cringe in a bad way.#frustrating.#it's sk time consuming to try to improve and it's very frustrating because with a lot of what i want to write right now#i feel like i have to ride the momentum before i lose it entirely#and it existing but being okay is better than it not existing at all#which is what would happen if i actually spent that long trying to refine these things into really high quality stuff#sometimes i wonder if i should go back to the old way of writing things. it was definitely faster#and probably better in that i think i did what i was trying to do well.#versus now where i feel like i'm doing what i'm trying to do poorly#aaaaaahhhh@
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being an Omar stan for 2 years has made me completely unsurprised with the article... sad? yes, shocked? no.
#that's the sad truth of things#i KNEW that if they can't find fault on the actual show#they'd say anything about something else#just trying to find faults#with no reasoning nor grace#frustrating.#maybe a controversial take:#(but one I've always maintained)#he's too good for that country#an opinion I've held since mello 😔#omar rudberg
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lmao I've got such a handle on what branwen and gortash's partnership was like pre-tadpole, and how easily they fall back into it once branwen returns to the city; she's still fundamentally the same naive & easily manipulated child pulling the wings off butterflies that she was when they first met
but damn i have no idea what the dynamic looked like for elektra in her worldstate??
#mara.txt#frustrating.#the elektra that exists post tabpolobotomy is fundamentally different from the elektra that gortash worked with lol#not in that she's a good person now lol but she's lost the confidence and self-assuredness that she had before#the urges are mysterious and terrifying. she does not know where her divine powers come from.#she's reckoning with the obvious conclusion that whoever she was before waking up on the nautiloid was likely a monster#idk!! pre-tadpole elektra was confident to the point of narcissism and definitely killed people mid-coitus#he was probably into that! but elektra would have (tried) to kill him if they fucked!
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... why cant we point out to the garleans in tertium that the 'reinforcements' from the provinces theyre holding out hope for are... largely comprised of conscripts. conscripts that now have zero incentive to keep fighting for the empire that murdered their countrymen and forced them into service
#idk ive talked abt how the writing surrounding garlemald in enw falls flat for me before i shouldnt dredge that up again but. its frustrat#frustrating.#meredith plays ff14#endwalker spoilers
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i turn 25 in almost two months. christ
#trying not to think about it but it makes me nauseous thinking about it#was at a birthday party recently (for a boy you may have heard me mention before.) and its#it got me thinking. i cannot imagine celebrating a birthday party for myself#its been awful the last few years but i do see every year that passes with me still here as a testament to cowardice on my part#if i were to celebrate turning a quarter of a century old what would that even look like?#what does that mean to me? what does it mean to anyone else? does anyone know me enough for it to mean anything?#my secret is that selfishly i would like...a little surprise birthday party. that people set up for me because they love me#but i know in my heart that if that ever happened i would freak the fuck out because it wouldn't feel real or earned#its a tricky double bind because i do want to be part of the world. and cared about. but i do not feel deserving of it#or capable of it being real so i am sad and lonely always but when i experience kindness it is wastedon me because i cannot process it#frustrating.
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Black people can be teenagers. And children. And gen z and gay and transgender and anything else that isn't mutually exclusive to race. Black teens exist. Black children exist. Seeing black people as this monolithic age group is why little children get tried as adults for walking across the street "wrong". When someone says "teenagers" and you immediately just think of white teens and nothing else, and exclude black teens, it's still racism. You can recognize the culture and creations of black people without excluding the fact that the black person you are talking about is a teenager or a child. You can say "it was a black teen" or "it was a black gen z kid". Gen z includes black children.
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Me who haven't slept yet another night: but why don't I have the energy for my silly hobbies, it doesn't make any sense :l
#What I'm on today— I guess 24 hours since I slept#Not that bad#not that good#but I tried to write and I couldn't#Frustrating.#buns.txt
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I think one big reason why we don't consider the stars as important as before (not even pop-astrology anymore cares about the stars or the sky on itself, just the signs deprived of context) is because of light pollution.

For most of human history the sky looked between 1-3, 4 at most. And then all of a sudden with electrification it was gone (I'm lucky if I get 6 in my small city). The first time I saw the Milky Way fully as a kid was a spiritual experience, I was almost scared on how BRIGHT it was, it felt like someone was looking back at me. You don't get that at all with modern light pollution.
When most people talk about stargazing nowadays they think about watching about a couple of bright dots. The stars are really, really not like that. The unpolluted night sky is a festival of fireworks. There is nothing like it.
#cosas mias#it's amazing it's always just up there and we can't see it! it's so fucking frustrating!
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with love. you have to fact check shit. yes you. you still have to fact check shit. a lot of people are great at fact checking stuff they don’t want to be true, but somehow are still absolute ass at fact checking stuff that’s rhetorically convenient to them. even people my age, who I KNOW grew up doing internet/bibliography literacy workshops, and being warned not to believe anything that isn’t reliably sourced, people who DO harp on fact checking conservative output or whatever, are still kneejerk sharing unsourced shit that is partially or wholly untrue or misleading, because it suits whatever narrative they’re pursuing in that moment, without even a “take this with a grain of salt”. fact check!!!!!! look at the sources!!!!! yes it’s a drag!!! do it!!!!!
#it’s frustrating that EYE have to feel like a buzzkill or a moderate for being like ‘pump the brakes this is misleading’ all the time#you should have checked it in the first place!!!!#nobody’s perfect but like! try!!!#text
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Because of Re: Carmilla, I thought you all would enjoy my edition of Carmilla :


The holes go all the way through, the sides of the book are red, and on some pages the text is colored red just under the holes !

I was so happy when I found it in a little french bookshop specialized in queer texts ❤️
#carmilla#sheridan le fanu#the bookshop is called “les mots a la bouche”#and i love it bc once went there asking 'do you have a novel with a jewish bi or lesbian protagonish ? if possible in fantasy'#and 5 min later i had 3 choices#anyway that is how i read the text (the holes are not bothersome) and i liked it but was frustrated by the lack of some explanations#but i talked with a friend later and they related to carmilla when outside and though it sounded like chronic ilnesses !#love having new perspectives
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as a former escape room host i highly recommend doing an escape room as a first date. its a great way to learn how ppl react under pressure and how well they collaborate with you right off the bat. also more than once ive seen people enter an escape room as a couple and exit broken up LOL its a fantastic litmus test
#i have done this as a first date and its very enlightening#ppl are usually on their best behaviors in the beginning of the relationships#so adding in a little manufactured stress for fun rly brings out ppls real personalities#in a highly controlled environment of course so that its not actually dangerous#do they yell when theyre frustrated?#do they give up?#do they take initiative to solve things or just follow your lead?#how do they react when youre wrong?#how do they react to losing?#however im biased... i just love escape rooms......
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newest issue of first years fashion just dropped
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#nobara kugisaki#fushiguro megumi#itafushikugi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#this quickly got away from me#taking hina from 3 days ago who thought 'yeah ill do 3 outfits for each of them what's the harm' and strangling her w my bare hands#original concept fr this was drawing the kids each matching a different outfit w gojo#but i got frustrated by th heights and placement so i said no tall people allowed and scrapped gojo from plans <3#tbh it wouldnt have been /that/ much better in terms of workload but the 3 drawings it would have saved me isnt nothing#but im just complaining fr nothing atp lmao i love all of these sm i love playing dress up with my tuoys (the jjk first years)#love treating them like mannequins i love coming up w outfits layer those kids UP#nobara especially i have so much fun brainstorming she looks good in everything To Me#i dressed megumi more smart casual than normal bc he's got gojo's credit card info and if i want him in balenciagas gdi he's gna get them#also listen i love megumi we know this but fr the sake of not dressing him in solid colour slacks and sweaters 3 different ways#i gave him the workout fit. it cant b yuuji all the time ok i think we deserve megumi in a compression shirt as a treat#speaking of yuuji good god where do i start#he's definitely stylish but in a 'got dressed in the dark/threw on the first articles of clothing i saw' way and i adore him so much for it#wears things tht make him happy w no regard for how they may or may not look tgt bless his heart#also i drew th skateboard fr posing purposes entirely forgetting my prior hc that yuuji cant skate so i roughed him up fr consistency#th boy just ate concrete but is ready to get back up and try again what a champ#anyway bless this line and shading style i lov u less detailed render i love u sharp swoopy fabric lines#saved me sm time fr#also this is my application fr the mappa jjk marketing team they should hire me and let me dress the chars id be so good i promise#ill even take out the vocaloid and pop culture references i wont infringe on any ip i sweaaarr
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(Almost) every time I talk to one of them immediately after I forget everything...I do not know why this is...
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// feeling crabby bc Ive been trying to push myself to do background work for a while now and it feels like I never see any improvement
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