#*My bed is a second desk
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POLY HAPPILY EVER AFTER I KEEP WINNING
#court dates everything#date everything spoilers#abel the table#dasha the desk#i have been saying since dasha's trailer reveal that they both have two hands and big enough arms for the player too#and now they're even saying as much 😭 i love this game this is THE outcome i wanted most#but abel calling himself old fashioned in his first conversation was what prevented me from putting them in the poly tier of my chart#BUT NOW......🥰#also his little voice line when you click on the table...''howdy lover. need someone t'hold ya?''#and dasha calling you ''my love'' and tossing all the items off the desk for a second when you click on her#i love them so much i'm over the MOON#(this has been my second poly romance of the night i should try for a third before bed)#(bc. i'm the third. 😌)
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i have no mouth and i must scream speech but for about insomnia hate hate hate let me tell you how much i have come to hate being awake
#took half an expired tops brand unisom . wheeeee medicine that does nothing and then the next day you're groggy for twelve hours#but i have to do SOMEthing if i don't Try to make myself sleep that's Giving Up and if you Give Up . well#this is the second week in a row that ive failed to sleep on a night leading into the work week and i know most of the external reasons why#like. busy day tomorrow so anxious. haven't given myself a full weekend in a really long time so strung out.#had important stuff to do earlier that didn't happen so dwelling on that. woke up at 9am and wasn't out of bed until ten thirty so like#i got more than adequate sleep last night but this does not make me feel less worried about NOT sleeping TONIGHT#because again. every time i have a night of big insomnia im convinced that it's the beginning of an unending trend#that will make me wind up like my mother who is lucky she gets more than three hours of sleep every couple of weeks#and while she's done this her whole life qnd has adjusted to it (as much as a body can) i just know. based on how insomnia is for me#that i never could. it would be exactly as terrible every time i would never be able to be calm while it was happening#anyway everybody send me your best knockout gas#AND. it's SNOWING. fuck everything i hate it all#tomorrow im gonna be groggy as hell and have to drive to work and back and have to be With It bc we're doing activities and shit#and have to be like the model of library enthusiasm when i barely have that on a good day. and not actually physically groan#every time someone new wants a card because it means i have to interrupt what im doing dor the next fifteen minutes to say a spiel#i know i shouldn't hate that i should be glad we're getting engagement. and i am. i just wish i wasn't the one at the desk#and im not good at keeping that off of my face or being welcoming when i dont feel welcoming#i haven't gotten to do processing at my actual office desk in months. haven't gotten to be Off The Floor#which certainly hasn't helped my overall stress levels. i need to not be socially on so much it's slowly pulling me apart#and then i get home wnd im too tired to do anything and my house also falls apart around me#but if i DON'T have outings i also rot . there's no solution to this problem. not without quitting my job which ill never do#bc in today's market id never get anything half as good as this ever again. and as has been established. this relatively good job#is still not good enough for me not to be emotionally and mentally falling apart
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grace or RAGE or a secret third thing

in the last nine days, i've gone swimming in two different pools, a creek, a river, a lake, and a waterfall
i brought a dozen new socks home and they are all soft and fresh with refreshingly optimistic outlooks on life

i'm craving rice and avocados and cold beer in a frosty glass that yesterday put in the freezer today
i'm remembering drawing lines on maps with fat markers
i'm thinking about a story full of raucous waiting, restlessly unwinding between the country doctor and autofac, where i might like to go
i know what happens next, i really do, but i still wish somebody would give me a little hint

#manifestations of my familiar#antidotes#franz philip kafka dick#watermelon#i have eaten thirty eight distinct types of plant since sunday#thursdays#boba#battered wooden desks#i have slept in two beds and on two couches#mugs#magnets#grace#rage#second blue moon epoch#first summer#end of messages
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chucks this dottore x y/n art like a smoke grenade and runs in the opposite direction like the cop in cloudy with a chance of meatballs
#i want towrite so bad but i dont Want to Write#i binged a dotto fic on ao3 yesterday n went to bed at 4#i need more godammit but i cant bring myself to continue My fic#my brain is. poopoo#sighs loudly I Need Him#i was motivated to write for like a second#but then as soon as that motivation came it Left Me#dottore x y/n#il dottore x y/n#dottore x you#il dottore x you#the more i look at this the more i hate it#drags hands down face#might delete this later lol im self conscious#i look at my inbox and i feel myself deflate im sorry gang#im perfectly able to talk to myself and figure out the lore#of my dottore fic on ao3#but as soon as i sit at my desk its Le Fucking Néant in my head bro#aaarghghghghgjhghnggnngggnnnnn#maybe if he manhandled me like this all my problems would be solved#୧ ‧₊˚cat isn't writing!
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Oh oh hmmm Sun and Moon in dresses? For drawing requests
And do you take requests for specific aus?

This was so fun to draw! (thought it felt like a nightmare trying to draw without my classmates seeing it—)
As for special AU requests, I'll take them if I know the AU - I might not, so just in case you might wanna send me a link to whatever design references you want me to use ^^
#moons dress was kinda hard to come up with for some reason#i had to look up moondrop inspired outfits and stuff#but the entire layout for sun hit my brain like a fucking 18 wheeler#it was so quick I had to practically leap out of my bed and do a mad dash to my desk so I wouldn't forget#ah the joy of panicking over a sudden idea you'll forget in .2 seconds if you don't put it on paper#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca#dca fanart#dca fnaf#moon fnaf#sun fnaf#moondrop#sundrop#fnaf moondrop#fnaf sundrop#daycare attendant#daycare attendant moon#daycare attendant sun#art requests#art asks#request#request answered#ask answered#answered asks#answered#art#my artwork#my art#my artwrok#fnaf art
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"Please be careful when using devmode, you can fuck up severely."
Yeah yeah whatever, I'm a professional. Oooooo what does this thing do?
#crash windows apparently#i may haven't booted my towers in weeks b4 today#but i still have a lovely little elitebook g3#just chilling in an unused corner of my bed#waiting for me to fuck around#today apparently so hard windows just noped out there for a second#(theres basically nothing on that notebook except for a few leisure games)#(i have a bootstick laying on my desk)#(idc what happens to that thing i'll just reinstall the os and keep fucking around)#(i have a backup device for basically everything i own—i need help)#(in my defense though most of them just somehow ended up in my possession—i'm spending my income on way less useful things)
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you a roller skate mug, little candy-themed dishes, and a tray to put them all on for snack time, and that's basically the same thing
#I love my snack set#genuinely this little thing has made me so much happier#I'm using the tray for the first time and let me tell you#there was so much joy the second I picked it up with all my little dishes full of my little snacks#I've even started rolling out a desk mat on my bed to make a special place for the snacks and my computer#small steps for better mental health!#royal decrees
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There is a ghost haunting my room and he sits at my desk and he is preventing me from working.
#I cannot sit in bed and work because bed is where Phone Time and rest is#But the second I move to my desk I am overcome with the most bonedeep chill#And I cannot sit here without feeling like I am going to die
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was thinking of getting a room divider because I don’t like using filters/digital backgrounds for calls (don’t trust like that) and with how I’ve rearranged my bookshelf dresser my future framed print of my ocs is in danger of being visible but I think that’s just an excuse to buy more things and I gotta Stop It. also I can just move the frame somewhere else. I have to keep the config like this tho because it’s a great place to put my lamp
#my ramblings#I’ve also moved the shitty small table I got from target in 2018 between bed & desk#which frees up space for chaise#and also it has usb charging so I don’t have to stretch the cord from forever away#I need a wall mountrd surge protevtor tho#getting thay toniht#then I have to reorganid my desk surface & second shelf to be less messy#maybe in a year I’ll upgrade from wire bedframe from amazon to smth legit#but it depends on measurements… will the chaise still fit w a legit bedframe…
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causes of sleeping uncontrollably and nonstop ????
#caught the napping disease!#before uni i never was able to nap during the day and now it's all i do whether i want to or not#i fall asleep EVERYWHERE. at my desk. in lecture sometimes? the second i touch my bed to simply scroll. is there something wrong orr#sometimes i'll get 12 hours of sleep and then I'm STILL tired and pass out the second i'm home like huh#weird actually
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#this thought just hit me and it’s not shade just a fact lol#but i see all these people on ig talking about decorating/designing their kid’s rooms#and i just. the IDEA that my parents would’ve put that much thought into our room when we were kids is…. absurd???#i was a menace#i drew on walls#i chewed up toys#i carved into the bed frame#we had a bunk bed a second hand desk a chest of drawers each and plastic boxes for toys etc#everything was mismatched and very erhm lived in#it gives me so much anxiety i physically cringe to think abt what it would’ve been like had my room been decorated and had fancy wall papers#and expensive matching furniture and godddd#i would’ve ruined it all and felt so bad and it would’ve been such a waste of time and energy and money#(i got my own lovely 90s decorated room w green wallpaper w i was nine and GOD the way i spent ages 9-18 decorating and redecorating that#room - but at nine i was a lot less mayhemish#anyways that’s besides the point)#i just realized i’ve never thought abt this before and that (mostly) women spend so much time on something that would’ve made no sense in#my home#(also parents being too involved w their kid’s own space makes me claustrophobic- i wanted A LOT of alone time and needed my own space#and the concept of my parents controlling my playing OR what happened in our room makes me stress sweat#oh boy this is rambly and i’m so happy i don’t have kids haha#)
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it's so weird not having to go to high school anymore
#by now i would have been in my classroom at my desk doing math problems#instead im in my silly little warm bed. and im enjoying every second of it hell yeagh#i still miss mr math teacher man <\3
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tucked myself in bed and the horrifying realisation that my earphones are still on my desk just hit me
#the desk is really close to my bed but#I don't want to feel cold for like... 3 seconds#thoughts#― rea's thoughts 💭
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i really feel like i haven't been able to catch a break recently and i just know im on the brink of a meltdown :'-)
#work has sucked im too tired to do anything when im home ive been sleeping kinda shitty#i cried for like two seconds on the drive home but it didnt actually help at all and was like. four tears and that's it#ik part of this is winter and darkness but also i dont like life rn!!!#i just want to take a pause. like everything stop for a second and i dont need to have any expectations put on me#going to work is like i go to bed w anxiety i wake up w anxiety i sit at my desk w anxiety
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I have three sitting on my desk within arm's reach right now.

(Pardon the mess. I have been either injured or sick for the last month, so I haven't done much cleaning. Hooray for going to urgent care for a head injury and leg wound and catching COVID while I was there 😑)
My desktop that's just to the right of the photo actually came with a built-in disk drive as well, but I took it out to make room for a second hard drive because it's easier to plug in a USB disk drive when I need it than it is to have a USB hard drive plugged in all the time.
I actually have a TV with a built-in VHS player, too, but it's been in my parents' garage since the last time I moved.
#i have a whole setup lol#i have an Input Selection switch on my desk that the AV cables are connected to that leads to my TV slash second monitor#what can i say#my father built a home theater when i was a kid that he still has and he collects DVDs#he's got about five thousand last i checked#a lot of them were recorded off the TV and burned onto disks lol#plus I'm disabled and get stuck in bed a lot so having all my entertainment within reach is great#since my desk is right next to my bed#i don't even have a desk chair i just use my desk from bed#my spine is fucked so it's painful for me to sit for very long#behind the Switch is actually a couple of shelves that have books and DVDs and even VHS tapes on them#but i would have to get up and walk around my desk to reach those lol
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#ok 1030am time to eat breakfast#i got my second choice accommodation and paid the deposit woohoo#maybe they use 1.4 or a higher conversion scale that a simple google search bc it was like $37 more than i estimated#and the cas is also like 40 more than i estimated#anyways it’s fine#just conversion math has yet to make sense to me#i wonder what living on the 23rd floor of an apartment building is gonna be like well im gonna find out😂#so much for a wakeup#saw the email and got out of bed and did the thing my laptop is on my desk which is like two steps away from bed lmaoq#whewwwwwww#ok at least i dont have to worry about that#bc it’s done i have a place to live in september ok cool
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