#ALWAYS WONDERS WHAT SHE WAS LIKE AT LYLA'S AGE HOW SHE ACTED HOW SHE LOOKED IF IT WAS ANYTHING SIMILAR

[koolcece22]

Enter Venomgirl ch.3

Ch.3

Miguel’s pov 

I can’t believe they let her out. All they know she could have broken others out of their cells. Or went on a rampage. I know Shade has been a hero for only nine years but it seems that her powers aren’t fully controlled. And the earth she from I need to see her back. We reached my lab since the Go-Home-machine was still not ready for her yet, also I needed to yell at Hobie and them.

“Look, can you just let those guys go? I should of stayed in my cell like a good prisoner.” Shade said. Judging from her tone she did feel guilty that she caused them trouble. I sigh, I’m still giving Hobie and them a good talking-to. I dissolve my mask and turn around to face Shade and them. I saw Shade’s widen a bit as she was eyeing me more.

“ Oh Great Ones, you are hot!” I heard Shade’s symbiote say next to me. I couldn’t help but blush from the comment, I’m shocked and thankful the lab lighting makes it hard for everyone else to see clearly. I noted blushing hard and the Kids were giggling behind her.

“Kuro, Shut up!” She said through her teeth, also blushing 

“But, he is.”

I try to get everyone to focus by snapping my fingers. 

“All four of you are big trouble as was saying.”

“Come on tío, She wasn’t doing anything wrong. And the fact she a hero on her Earth maybe she should, you know, treated better?” Miles said. I still don’t like him calling me that. I feel unworthy of that word. 

“She is still a symbiote variant. Too much negative emotion from either from the host or the people around it can have dire consequences.” I said I know Gwen, Miles, and Pavitr hadn’t had their symbiote canon event yet. But they still should know better. 

“Wait, what a symbiote?” I heard Shade ask, everyone turned to her. I even look at her confused. Then I realized why she wouldn’t know what a symbiote is. She is one after all and she is the only one that I know of.

“Wait, you don’t know that …uh your ‘little’ friend is a symbiote?” Gwen asked. I saw Shade shake her head. 

“No, Kuro has been with me since I was born.”  

“Wait, you were born with it,” Mile asked Before Shade could respond to him I cut her off

“It does matter how she got it. All that matters is we are sending her back home once her DNA can locate her Earth. And since you guys let her out I’ll now have to keep an eye on her.” I groaned out now having to watch her.

“All of you aren’t going on missions for a week for this.”

“Aww. come on” Gwen. Miles and Pavitr whined. Hobie just rolled his eyes. I know he is the oldest of them. I just wish he acted his age. 

“Now all of you head to your earth. And better not leave to see each other, I’ll lock your watches and you won’t be able to see each other for a month.”  I can tell Miles and Gwen want to retort something till Hobie chimes in to stop them.

“Come guys. Let's not pissed off the big man ey? Fine, we play your way ex-boss.” Hobie said as he left my lab with not more further argument. Gwen, Miles, and Pavitr follow him out. Something tells me they are up to something but I can’t worry about those guys' rebellions way.  Lyla came back with the cheeky smile she always has.

“Good news boss, her DNA is almost synthesized to the Go-Home-Machine so in like ten minutes or so. She can be sent home soon,” she said with a smile she always does. I nodded. Shade’s symbiote was looking at this Lyla, reminding me of a child who saw the animal for the first time. Lyla did the same as she was scanning ‘it’.

“I still can’t figure out what this symbiote variant is. Their DNA is really bounded no wonder they can’t stay apart.” 

“Hey, microwave! Go stare at your stupid big spider why don’t you?!”  

“It's kind of cute compared to the other ones.” Lyla said what I think is called ‘it’ that triggered ‘it’ more as ‘it’ started to lash out in the containment jar ‘it’ was in 

“SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU KUSO MICROWAVE!! I'll-” 

I quickly hit the button to mute it. Something tells me it going to be yelling and cursing up a storm for a while I don’t have time to deal with that. I turn towards ‘it’s’ host also looks like about to curse me too. But at least she kept her mouth shut. 

“Don’t worry, you two will be sent home shortly,” I said but she huffed 

“Can you please give me back Kuro at least? I don’t trust you with her, I don’t care if you know the whole ten-meter thing. If we get separated for too long we’ll go into shock and-” 

“That not going to happen. I’ll make sure of that. I’m more worried you go berzerk and attack anyone. You two don’t have full control don’t you?” I pointed out to her. Shade closed her mouth with on response, even her symbiote stopped yelling in the jar and had a look of shame on its face which I’m surprised. Most symbiotes don’t care about the host's feelings. 

“I was in control. I wouldn’t attack those kids without reason.” 

I sign,  it be very hypocritical of me to judge her on that. “Just be silent for a while while finish up my work,” I said as I pulled her onto the platform. She got on with no more feather fighting. She looks more amazed about the setup, I guess she never really explored too much of the spider society.  I continue my work and unmute the symbiote since it shut up now.

“So what year this Earth is? Hobie said this like a future Earth.”  She asked, I Ignored her, wanting to finish my report and check on the stats on the other Earths . 

“Hey, big dumb Spider! She asked you a question!” 

“Kuro. stop it. He busy or something.”  

“You're in my Earth, Earth- 928 in the year 2099. Does that answer your question?” I said didn’t take my eyes off the scenes. “Your earth is 2424 and in the year 2023 correct?”  

“My Earth 2424? Is there a reason why that's a number or something?” 

“No, that's how the Earths are labeled.” 

“Ok? Well you guys didn’t seem so keen on going on my planet to invade so is my planet that bad for you guys not to come?

I rolled my eyes when she said invaded, were not aliens for shock's sake. “Your Earth is banned.”

I didn’t need to look at her that her eyes went why. I turned to her sure enough Shade’s eyes were wide.  

“What? Why?” Shade asked. I don’t want to give her any more information as I already did. Till Lyla returns to tell me the The-Go-Machine is ready for Her. Then I was about to give her a Jar that contained her symbiote before I warned her.

“I’ll unwrap you and give you back you symbiote, but you try anything…” I unsheath my claws to show her what I meant. Not a huge fan threat but it does get my point across. Shade didn’t seem fazed by my threat, even her heartbeat was still calm. 

“I understand, Just give her back to me.” 

I unlocked the containment jar and the symbiote quickly went back into her body. Her hair turns from white to black from this. I unwrap her and she follows me to the Go-Home-Machine.  As walk in I had Margo set up the Machine to set her to her Earth.

“Uh sorry, I attack you guys first. Alchemax and I have a very messy history…” Shade said as she jumped on the platform of the machine. 

“I don’t blame you, Alchemaxs aren’t the ethic of people.” I gave a sign to Margo to start the machine. The Machine started to form the space webs, Shade looked around it with a nervous look.

“This not going to hurt right?”

“As long you don’t move,” I said and she nodded after being fully covered she was sent. I breathe easier that she was sent home. Little didn’t we all know we going be in one hell of a Shocking adventure.

~

Shade’s Pov

I shout out the portal at so high speed that I have to grab something to slow me down and not fall off the building I was on.

“What the Void?! Couldn’t they send us home and not trying to kill us?!”  Kuro said. I agree, I’m in top of a tall building, and I would fall a few more inches. Once I my bares and calm down the flashlight teleporting is rough. I look around to make sure I’m back. I jump down to the alleyway to change to my normal outfit. And walk out the street. I walk to one newsstand to see that its my Earth. Talking about Valent 6 and Arachnidqueen being the hero saving the little girl I saved. I just roll my eye and head back home. Luckily, it not far.

I have few bucks on me and grab some food on the way. I have to put a note that i’ll have get some more cash soon. Might rob another high-end person but right now I just want to go home. It only took 20 min. To get to my place. An abandoned factory. It's scary but its homie. 

I head in going to the main control room where is set up.  T.V. on the floor. Piles blanket to sleep on. A poster, and a game console. And fi-wi from Zee. I unsallow my phone, glad those guys didn’t open me up. I checked what happened I was gone. Turn out I had only been gone for like couple of hours and there wasn’t anything bad that happened while i was gone. Archnidqueen boosted how she saved the kid earlier today, the one I saved and she put in danger. Great ones.

Kuro was eating the rest of the food I brought, so I didn't have to head to her little bed as  I did the same. I was exhausted, I just hope tomorrow there is nothing surpri-

*crash!*

I went high alert, Kuro got up and we changed to my Venomgirl outfit. I sniff the air and try to locate the intruder(s). I growled deeply like a bear that usually scares people away spreading more rumors about this place. The strange smell nor the sound didn’t go away.

“Leave,” I growled out I really don’t want to deal with this.

“Don’t feel like it, mate.”

My eyes widen recongnize the voice the smell seems to be above me I look up to see Hobie sticking on the ceiling. He wasn’t the only one, I saw Gwen, Miles, and Pavitr also with him.

“What the void? Why are you guys here?! How did you get here?! How did they find my place?!” I asked hundreds of questions. I try to calm myself down, but How they got here is still on my mind.

“Did you miss us?” Hobie said as he jumped down, the others did the same. The other three look around my living space. It is not homely but I didn’t think that I would have guessed over

“Nice place. You might want some more lighting” Gwen said I think she tried to not be mean about it. And I do live in the dark. It helps calm my senses.

“Oh wow, you have a PS5? How you got it?” Miles said look at my SP5. 

“We stole it,” Kuro said as she de-transformed me. Miles and Gwen gave a questionable look. I shrugged

“Look I can’t really go get a job. If you haven’t noticed.” 

“Oh, you have chai?” Pavitr looks at ‘my kitchen’ which is just a sink, mini fridge, and tea maker.

“Yea uh I have some chai tea.”

“Whoa whoa chai is tea. Your saying tea tea!!” Pavitr said grabbing one of my tea bags. Something that must be something from his earth. 

“Uh ok? You still haven't told me how you guys got here?”  I said kind of starting to get impatient, doesn’t help it like late, and want to sleep and now I have a bunch of teens in my place uninvited.

“Well see these watches. They allow to teleport any earth. Well my can, those three have the boss ‘censor watches,” Hobbies said as pointed to the watch he had on. He looks different from the other three. “I still don’t get why guys won’t wear the watches I Made.”

“No offense Hobie, your watches still need some work. We feel nauseous every time we use the portal.” Miles chimed as was sneaking trying to turn my SP5, I just glared at him and took a hint and placed the controller back down.

“Ok? That answers one question but doesn’t answer the others.” 

Hobie then pulls out a card from his pocket and a phone that looks like it is from my earth.  He threw the card at me and I caught it. My eyes widened when I saw the symbols on the card from U.N.I.T. from Zee. 

“Looks like your friend needs help and they going to need a lot of it.”

[spotsuns]

redemption poem

when you get down on the ground the first thing you do is turn to your brother and smile. this isn’t a victory for you, and you have so much left to pay, but at least he is safe. you’ve always done it all for him; this is just the final act.

this is the part where the audience claps because you were brave, because you sacrificed yourself for his happiness. nobody will remember that you were your own child. nobody will remember what you lost.

they’ll see it as a victory; that at least one of you is not rotten. it’s a fair trade in the eyes of the people. you’re disposable.

the handcuffs they put on you feel like redemption and you don’t know why. you could have sworn you never did anything wrong to end up here—so why, then?

the water is all muddy. it’s all started to blend together. you’re just tired. you just want it to be over, that’s it. you’ve betrayed yourself. go directly to jail. do not pass go. do not collect two-hundred dollars.

you stare at your brother from the back of the police car until he’s too far away to see anymore. you become sharply aware of the fact that this is how it will be from now on. you try not to think about waking up to him in your arms in the forest; in your grandparents guest bed; in a tent in california; on a cliff; watching the arizona sunrise—

he’s shaking you awake, telling you to look at it, that it’s beautiful, and all you can do is agree. yeah. good call.

when you look out the window at it now it just hurts your one good eye. you better take it in for all it’s worth, though. who knows when you’ll see it next like this? whole, and not sliced up into slivers by the bars of your jail cell, spreading none of its warmth across your skin.

you feel like you’ve lost more than you had when you were walking in the scorching nevada desert with blisters on your skin. and it’s true. at least you had hope left, then.

this isn’t such a big story, one where there’s a light at the end, where you come out victorious and make it to the magicland. this one has you willingly heading into the dark cave and knowing it will be a long time before you find your way back home.

you’ll be in the sequel, maybe, where you’ll be reunited with all the old characters that helped you along the way. they’ll be older and wiser and they’ll have moved on without you, because that was a part of the story you weren’t in.

you hope your sacrifice helped people, at least. that maybe your absence did more good than harm. that you were the hero, somehow. it hurts too much to stomach if you weren’t.

fifteen years is what you get. they tell you you’re lucky that it’s ‘only’ fifteen years.

you just turned seventeen. you’ll have lived almost your entire lifetime over by the time you’re free again, you’ll be a fully-grown man, and so will daniel.

so will daniel.

suddenly, it hits you. you’re going to miss everything.

those talks between the glass won’t ever be enough. you are going to miss your brother growing up, and that hurts even worse than missing out on your own growing up, because that’s what all of this was for.

you threw your childhood away the second you took off with him in your arms. you expected to get to hang onto it. you didn’t. there’s no getting it back.

you don’t want to look back at him when the officers lead you away in handcuffs. it feels too painfully familiar, too much like the time you looked out the police car window as you were pulled away from him the first time.

you didn’t want to admit it, but you were a little hopeful then. not anymore, no, that was crushed flat under the gavel. you pretend you don’t hear daniel wailing when the door shuts.

fifteen years is a long time.

in your first fifteen years of life you were born to two parents, you met lyla, you got a little brother, your mother left, you went to school, you went to work, you went to parties, to concerts, on trips with your family—it all went by pretty damn fast.

that’s childhood though, right? or is it? you can’t remember what being a child is like anymore, not these days. the last time was maybe in humboldt county, smoking weed around a campfire with a bunch of kids who had forgotten, too.

it’s funny, really. you got so caught up in the turmoil of losing your childhood that you didn’t even consider the idea that they’d take your adulthood from you, too. you’ll spend all of your twenties in a prison cell, get out at thirty-two, and then what? you’ll still be a child, chewed up and spit out by the system and thrown into the world a shell of who you once were to figure it out.

fifteen years is a long time, but time starts to not matter so much after the first few years. you think about those eight months on the road every single day that they get farther away. it seemed so awful then, and it was, but you can’t help but think you’d do it all over again over this.

that’s a selfish thought, though. you realize this when daniel visits you—his cheeks fuller, his clothes new and clean and no bags under his eyes. he tells you about school and his new dog and what his friends have been up to lately. every once in a while, he whispers to you about somebody he helped recently, or a school bus he stopped from going off a cliff. you remember this is why you’re here.

the only thing that keeps you somewhat sane when daniel’s not visiting is art. you’re allowed to have paper and anything that’s not too sharp to draw with, and you make the best of it.

you can’t do studies anymore, not in here. that’d be awfully depressing, so you draw what keeps your head up. you draw for daniel, mostly. comics of superwolf, showcasing all of his acts of heroism. it’s the best way you can show him that you’re proud.

he cries almost every time you pull out a new piece of paper for him; holds it in his hands so carefully, as if he’s convinced it’ll crumble to dust like a dead leaf in his palm if he grips it too hard.

he’s lost too much. so have you. it’s not over yet.

you notice karen visiting less than she did at first. you wonder if it’s just inconvenient for her to come or if it’s guilt, but then you remember she’s not ever been too good at feeling guilty about anything. it still sucks to admit, but you can kind of get it now.

when she does come she updates you on daniel and all her friends in away. she tells you that arthur and stanley finally got married, even after years of saying it didn’t really matter to them if it was official or not. you think about finn. you wonder if maybe, in another life, one where you had gone to mexico and called his number on that letter—

you hope he’s doing well.

you start avoiding reflective surfaces altogether. not that there’s many spare mirrors sitting around in prison, but even the water in the mop buckets makes you turn your head. you wonder how your beard looks, sometimes. you wonder how you look with the glass eye they fitted you with. you wonder how much you look like your father, or don’t. you wonder if he’d even recognize you now.

years and years go by and the only way you know this for certain is that daniel’s a lot taller, karen’s got wrinkles, and your grandparents aren’t able to visit you anymore. you’re sure you’ve aged like shit, but you can’t know for sure. your beard’s gotten fuller than your father’s ever was, and you know you probably look older at thirty than he did when he died at forty-five.

you don’t feel any relief when they remind you that you’re about to be released. fifteen years ago this day was all that kept you going, and now that it’s here, you feel sick. you don’t know what it’s like out there anymore. how much will have changed? how will the world look at you? how will you ever adapt after everything?

you’re still seventeen. you’re a thirty-two year old child. you’re still staring at the mexico border from the wheel of the car wondering if you’re making the right choice. you still wonder if you did.

they give you the few belongings you had in a duffle bag. you slip on the eyepatch right away, you aren’t ready to see the glass eye yet. you look for one thing in particular; an old sketchbook, a birthday gift from your father. ‘sean diaz, do not open.’, it read on the front.

the whole thing was read out loud in court for the trial, the entirety of your journey with daniel, your therapy. it’s not here. of course they kept it. add that to the list of things you’re never getting back.

you feel so incredibly small stepping out into the sun when they let you free, like an ant under a magnifying glass being lit aflame.

daniel’s there, of course, tall and bearded and a twenty-five year old man. that’s never going to stop hurting. karen’s next to him, looking so much older than you remember her looking the last time she came. you don’t remember when that was. she’s wearing a familiar rainbow windbreaker vest. joan must have passed away at some point. you wonder when that was.

you’re so overwhelmed that you don’t even notice a third person at first, you weren’t expecting anyone else, but she’s the only one who looks the same as you remember.

when she runs into your arms and crushes you in a hug you feel like a child again for the first time in nearly twenty years. you’ll never regret calling her, even when it was a stupid idea. best freaking fighters, forever.

adjusting is as hard as you imagined it would be, but not exactly in the way you imagined it would be. nobody gives you weird looks in public, but you can’t remember how to pump gas, because now the pumps look like alien software, and you cry in the car when daniel tells you that he’ll just do it instead.

you do look older than your father, but more than that, you look like a stranger to yourself. the only thing you recognize is your right eye, but everything else belongs to somebody else, a version of you you’ve never met.

it feels like greeting a family member you haven’t seen since you were little, and they look so different from what you remember in your head that you wonder if you ever met them at all.

somehow, that’s better than seeing yourself again. you remember the first time you looked in the mirror after losing your eye, how you had looked then with the cuts all over your face and your hair buzzed to the scalp.

it’s the same thing all over again, except now you have a beard, and instead of an empty socket you now have a solid white marble sitting in place of it. you look eerily like brody. something about that feels good, you’d love to be like brody.

you decide to keep the beard.

you feel guilty. even sitting in daniel’s apartment surrounded by your friends and family, a free man at last, you don’t feel happy. looking at him, you feel good. you’re proud, you’re incredibly proud, and he’s lived a good life, but now that you’ve paid your dues you have nothing of you left. it feels like you were a resource that’s all dried up and spent out. you’re in the sequel, and you still feel like you’re stuck in the cave.

after sixteen years of waiting you finally visit your father’s grave. you’re grateful that daniel’s taken good care of it, there’s already a bouquet of fresh flowers laid at his headstone when you go to place yours. you run your fingers along the words engraved into the hunk of marble and feel your wrist freeze when you get to ~2016.

1452 lewis avenue. tacky halloween decorations. lyla the love witch. daniel playing zombie in the front yard.

the front yard.

daniel lies with you in his arms on top of your father’s grave while you sob until you throw up in the grass and you’re so ashamed of yourself that you ride in the back seat when you leave. you don’t know what will ever make this better.

you want to get your life together, if there’s any point. you tell yourself there will be, you just have to find it. you pass your driver’s test and finally get your license, and daniel surprises you with a gift that rips your heart out in a way you didn’t think was possible anymore. the car that dad was fixing up for your graduation. the one you never got the chance to drive.

he’s saying something about how he’s made sure everything’s running and he’s had all the old parts replaced but you feel like you’re underwater and he sounds so far away.

you open the door and slide into the driver’s seat. there’s a faded old sticky-note on the dash with scribbled ink on it. ‘hope you have fun on all your hot dates, seanie-boy! don’t drink and drive. always call me if you need me. love, papito.’

i love you too, dad.

daniel helps you look for jobs, but every time you get an interview, you cancel. it doesn’t feel right. you don’t know why but you don’t feel ready, like there’s something you need to do first and you don’t know what it is.

daniel’s patient as ever, and you know he doesn’t mind, but sleeping on his couch feels a little worse every day you wake up on it. you almost feel like you owe karen an apology, you keep glancing at the door.

what do you need, then? what is going to fill this hole in your chest? think back, and think hard. when did you last feel most alive? was it living at home, going to school and working retail, worrying about college and being an adult? you know it wasn’t.

it was eight months on the open road. it was when you were traveling between state lines, meeting new people every day, living like wolves up in the woods. as horrible as it was, as much hell as you went through, you remember how much you loved the good parts, and how you’d pretend it was just a road trip when you could to make it bearable. you want to do it again, and do it right this time.

you bring it up to daniel. you ask him if he’d like to come, to be the wolf brothers together again—but he’s not like you anymore. he’s got a job, a home, a community—he’s got a place in this world. he can’t do it and that hurts. it’s why you threw away fifteen years of your life, though. you don’t know what else you expected.

he proposes an idea that makes your chest ache just to think about, but it sounds good. it sounds like it might be what you need, and that’s all you want, is to know what you need.

you pack up a small suitcase of everything you want to take with you; nothing heavy. you remember words from an old friend, a long time ago.

that’s how shit starts, you know? when you start havin’ things of your own… things you ought to defend. property, land, family. what do you think you’re missin’ out on now?

you don’t know.

you want to find out.

you follow daniel all the way back up to washington. even from the car, it’s all flooding back. you walked this exact road on foot for miles and miles in the opposite direction. you know now that you may as well have turned back then, but you know all things considered, it was worth the journey. the best and worst time of your whole life.

you park on the edge of the road, right where you first walked into the woods so many years ago. daniel didn’t even know his father was dead yet back then; just a couple of kids playing with sticks and skipping stones on the water, and you swallowing your grief down like shards of glass.

nostalgia eats you alive like a coyote tearing right into your throat. so much is the same; the trail, the markers on the trees, daniel excitedly walking ahead of you, and you’re trailing behind, feeling like the only thing that’s changed.

it’s funny. you were so worried about the world out there being different when you got out, but it’s just you. who is sean diaz anymore? you wish you could ask the boy who carried his brother into these woods in full confidence that he’d be able to outrun his fate sixteen years ago. in all his terror, he probably knows the answer better than you do. oh, how you envy him.

you replicate your first night in these woods down to every last detail by building a fire under the same rock den you did back then. daniel’s so much older, so much bigger than he was then, but he’s still daniel.

it hits you fully, finally. there’s no getting back what you’ve lost. not your own childhood, and not daniel’s either. you’re both grown up and there is no way to redeem yourself that will gift you the ability to go back in time.

it’s always going to be this; stories that you can try your best to imagine like you were there, but everybody will always know where you really were. they won’t say it, like it’s a dirty word, but it’s a part of you now. there’s no sean diaz without those ugly fifteen years stamped onto your life like a passport.

daniel’s in the middle of telling you about his first kiss with a boy when you remember yours. it was with chris, no less. they’re engaged now. you try not to be heartbroken that you missed that, too. at least they held off the wedding.

you think about finn again. you think about arthur and stanley. you think about the fact that you’re thirty-two and haven’t had a kiss since, and the fact that you could have fallen in love, but that was taken from you, too.

you feel so selfish and ridiculous for bursting into tears. you feel like such a fucking child when daniel has to rock you in his arms to calm you back down and keeps apologizing for bringing it up.

sorry, I forgot. you told me back then, remember? I should’ve known better.

none of it’s fair. you deserve to have the capacity to be happy and be happy for daniel. you feel too numb for your own comfort. this isn’t who you are.

you’re surprised when you wake up the next morning and feel… clarity? the sense that something better is coming, maybe. oh, right. there’s a name for that.

hope.

it feels right when you’re walking out of the woods and back to your car with daniel, like you’re getting ready to meet yourself somewhere, as soon as you find him.

this is a choice, a see you later. we’ll talk as soon as i get somewhere with wifi. promise, i’ll call. i love you. get home safe.

you get into the car that your dad wanted you to grow up in, and after much too long, you’re finally about to. you drive away first, watching daniel in the rearview mirror as he waves excitedly. he’s almost out of view when you see him cup his hands around his mouth, tilting his head back. you can’t hear him, but you know well enough.

you howl as loud as you can, even though all the windows are rolled up and daniel’s over the hill already. maybe a lot has changed, and you have too, but there’s one thing that never will. the tale of the two wolf brothers.

it’s time for you to write your own story, big brother.

[musedblues]

Between The Lines

a/n: Here it is! Nothing but pinning and fluff for the much anticipated STL Event! This is my gift for the lovely wonderful @joemazzmatazz​ I really hope you enjoy this, lovie! And I hope that your day is beautiful regardless of this silly little holiday. 💖

w/c: 6k

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

It was Valentine's day. Usually, you were only excited about the day that followed, when all the chocolates went on sale. But this year your roommate had plans to throw some big ridiculous party. Tilly had been planning this bash for over a month now, and you had agreed to help set up and mingle with mutual friends. But until later tonight, you had far too much more to worry over.

"I've gotta go get Joe from the airport." You sighed, sliding your arms into a thick jacket.

"Oh," Tilly realized with a playful roll of her eyes. You let out a frustrated mewl at her disregard as you scrambled to grab your purse.

"I just don't get it." Tilly continued smirking. "Why are you nervous, again?"

"Because." You hissed. "I've gotta tell him. And I don't want to."

Tilly must have registered the true dread bubbling closer to the forefront of your system; because she slouched closer to the door as you stepped out into the hallway. She said, "You have no reason to be nervous. Trust me."

Oh, but how wrong she was. Since Joe had up and left overseas to film his latest project, you missed him. But you came to realize the magnitude of your feelings for your dear friend smack dab in the middle of a grocery store's freezer section, last month. After spending too long debating on ice cream flavors, you chose cherry, because Joe loved cherry and you loved him. Oh shit. The thought seamlessly pieced itself together in your mind as if it were a fact as clear as any other. You raced home in a panic and spilled your guts to Tilly like she was a priest and you, a dirty sinner. Your roommate helped you through that night, and several more that followed when you regretfully avoided Joe's phone calls. You were afraid of letting your true feelings seep through the phone speaker,  or at all. But time was up. You had agreed to fetch your dear friend from the airport some odd weeks ago, and according to the time on your phone, his flight just landed.

Joe deserved to know how you felt, so why not rip the plaster off right away? He'd be pissed if you kept this from him for too long, and you couldn't act like everything was fine. You knew you had to tell him. You just really didn't want too.

As you slid into the driver seat of your car, you reached toward the visor for the pair of sunglasses you stashed there. From out of nowhere a tiny piece of canary yellow stock paper came fluttering into your lap like confetti.

"Oh, wonderful." You huffed a laugh. It was a note from Joe. He was always stashing these tiny pieces of yellow paper in odd places for you to find later, with silly little sentiments jotted down. This one read:

"You're only a day away!"

He must have left this one before he left to go film.

Some notes Joe left were inside jokes. Some were thank you's for dinner. Some were doodles of dinosaurs and maps. You kept them all in a ball jar on your dresser. But all you could do with the latest note was stash it in your jacket pocket with a frustrated groan as you began to drive off.

It all started the first night you went out to dinner with your hoard of mutual friends, who were the only reason you'd met Joe in the first place. They each left one by one, and soon you and Joe were alone with a basic knowledge of each other's existence, finishing dinner at a six-person table. By the end of the night, you'd exchanged life stories and ended up rambling over the topic of arcade games. You marveled over how fun they seemed growing up, but how you came to understand the sad reality that most arcades were just scams to collect change in disguise. But then Joe brought up some bowling alley he swore had a rigged Pacman machine that spit out tickets that won some above-average prizes. He decided he would invite your group of friends there, next weekend. Then, he exchanged his phone number on a slip of canary yellow stock paper because your phone had died and he left his in the car.

The following weekend you met up with all your friends at that bowling alley. They were shocked to see you'd come out of hiding two weekends in a row, and invited you to pick a team to bowl to the death. But then you locked eyes with Joe, walked past the lanes and headed straight for the arcade in the back. Joe had been right about the rigged Pacman. He showed you how to pause the ghosts by holding down a broken button to cheat. But after racking up mega points, the machine was out of tickets. You both presented this sob story to the jaded arcade prize gatekeeper, who simply did not care. Not like you did, either. Even though you had your eye on a silly looking plush green crocodile from the midlevel prizes; the time you'd spent with Joe was reward enough for you.

He called it a night soon after, leaving you with the few friends who couldn't be stopped from bowling. You joined their team, even though you already felt like you'd won something.

You were at ease that evening as you headed toward the dusty car park.

You notice something was resting against your windshield. You were alarmed enough to wonder if this was one of those trafficking tricks, where a kidnapper left something for you to be distracted by long enough to snatch you. But then you noticed just under your windshield wiper, a canary yellow slip of stock paper. It read:

"Sorry I couldn't win you the alligator you insisted was a crocodile. Hope this will do until next time."

Next to where Joe had left the note, you found a tiny keychain with a neon green frog attached. It wasn't quite the river monster you'd been hoping for, but Joe had left it just for you, alongside a note; the latter of which would become a tradition. You stashed both mementos in your pocket and wondered when you'd see Joe again.

One long year had passed by, and you managed to see Joe at least once a week since those first fateful meetings. You added the frog charm to your keychain.  And every time, without fault, Joe would leave behind a note for you to find.

You spent days accidentally snowed inside each other apartments. He bought you Christmas presents and you took him out for his birthday. You watched terrible movies for fun and wound up alone together even in the midst of your group of friends, who were the reason you'd known Joe at all. You'd seen each other cry and fought over things that did and didn't matter. But it wasn't until he flew across the ocean for a while that you realized exactly why you missed him so much.

Considering the time you'd spent with Joe, practically attached at the hip, your heart sunk at the realization that if anything romantic had been blossoming between you, Joe would have done something about it by now. But you had to tell him how you were feeling, waiting any longer would only complicate things further. So as you pulled up to the airport gates and marched into the waiting area, you practiced a speech in your head one thousand different ways. There was a swarm of people buzzing in different directions hardly paying you any mind, but soon one voice cut through the crowd.

"It's you! It's really you! You haven't aged a day in the hundred years I've been gone!"

You spun toward the sound of Joe's excitable greeting and barely caught a glimpse of his bright smile before he was pulling you into a hug. You couldn't help but laugh as you hugged him back, welcoming the boy home, but selfishly longing to be so much nearer to him all at once. Oh no. This was too weird.

"Welcome back." You grinned as Joe reached for his suitcase once more. He was still smiling that stupidly pleasant smile.

"That's all I get?" He playfully jeered. "No, 'I almost died of boredom without you? '"

A nervous chuckled escaped your throat as Joe started walking toward the sliding doors, right up to your car right outside.

"Uh, actually... I. Well." You began, sheepishly following Joe out of the airport. "I was going to tell you something but we can worry about it later."  You feigned passivity, all the things you practiced to say melting off the page in your mind. That wasn't the plan, but the words were out before you could think of reforming them.

"What? You found someone funnier than me to add cometary to hallmark movies?" Joe quirked a brow.

"Impossible." You assured, opening your back car door so he could lift his luggage inside.  "How was your time?" You scurried to change the subject, not really sure what happened to the plan you'd promised yourself to stick by.

Joe didn't seem to notice your internal battel as he eased into your passenger seat, already rambling about where he'd been and what he'd done. You listened with care, truly interested in knowing what he had to say. But one half of your mind buzzed with worry and confusion while you drove Joe home.

You unlocked his door while he managed his luggage from your car. When Joe made his way inside you remembered the plans you'd made for the rest of the evening. He was apart of the group chat where your roommate birthed the idea for her Valentine's day party. Joe was invited, and one late night over the phone (before you started having this strange crisis) you offered to spend the rest of this afternoon with Joe so he could hitch a ride with you to the party.

"So Tilly's party isn't until nine, now. I promised to pick up Zoey and Lyla  and stop for dinner someplace." You chatted naturally as any other time you'd spoken to Joe. Regardless of your feelings, Joe was still your friend and you had plans. You naturally expected Joe to shrug and agree like he always did when your shared plans became altered. He was standing before you, bright forest colored eyes searching your face as his usually permanent grin began to fade.

"Actually..." Joe frowned, flicking his eyes to the floor then back up to yours. "Well, is it okay if I just meet up with you where you stop for dinner? I kind of need to do something. Alone."

"Oh... sure." You tried to hide the shot through your heart as you processed this. Of course, he wanted to show up alone. Lyla always had a thing for Joe, never one to hold back her lingering stares. Joe was single and it was Valentine's day. And right now, you had to pretend like you couldn't care less.

"Thank you for picking me up, Y/N. Text me where to find you." Joe shifted, dawning a little smile.

"Of course, Joe." You smiled brightly, stepping out of the already opened door.

"I'll see you tonight! And you can tell me whatever it was you mentioned earlier!" Joe promised as you skipped down the steps toward your car.

"It doesn't matter anymore!" You waved a hand, opening the driver door, trying like mad to remain casual. Shit. Why did I say that? You just dug a deeper hole for yourself.

"Oh. Well okay! See you later!" Joe waved from the door, shutting it as your engine started.

Okay... Was it just you and your twisted, jumbled up mind, or was Joe acting weird, too? Maybe he picked up on your vibe and didn't want to spend any more time near you than he had too. You boggled your brain all the way home, wondering why you were such a wimp. When you unlocked your apartment door, Tilly was pinning bright red cartoon hearts across the living room wall.

"Oh." She cocked her head at your arrival as you shut the door behind you. "You're alone."

"He's meeting up with us later, I guess."

"You guess?" Tilly wondered in a curious tone.

"I didn't tell him." You huffed, kicking your shoes off.

"You were supposed to bring him here either way! He said he'd help decorate." Your roommate pouted, nodding toward a box of Valentine-themed tinsel on the sofa.

"This is all a bit ridiculous don't you think?"

Tilly's excuse was that every holiday deserved a party, even the one couples famously spent alone together. You proceeded to help decorate, draping streamers and tossing flower petals in place. Your roommate made 'Love Potion' with peach schnapps, red grapefruit juice, and vodka, while you jammed strawberries onto the side of clear plastic cups.

"I'll be handing these out. Take your pick." Tilly held out a bin full of plastic headbands. Some were pink with cartoon hearts attached to a couple of cheap springs, like an Instagram filter come to life. Others were deep red devil horns covered in glitter. You just rolled your eyes and went on setting up snacks.

"When are you going to tell him?" Tilly asked from across the room as she placed her bin of headgear on a table near the door.

"Oh, you know what?" You raised the pitch of your voice. "I think I'll do it right in the middle of your bangin' Valentine's party." You pointed toward Tilly, as if this idea had just come to you like a message from cupid himself. Tilly let out a dry mocking, "Ha Ha."

"You can break out that Prince vinyl, and I'll stand on the coffee table and rip my own heart out in front of everyone!" You really hoped you sounded more like you were joking, and less like you wanted to cry.

"I'm sure we'd all love a bit of a show. But babe, it's gonna be okay." Tilly softened.

"Isn't it funny how you keep saying that and I keep on feeling the opposite way?" You groaned, abandoning the kitchen past a doorway full of shiny maroon ribbon.

"You have exactly an hour to dress up for seduction!" Tilly comically hollered your way, skipping toward her bedroom.

"You mean confession!" You shouted back, sulking toward your own room. After shutting the door, you unearthed Joe's latest note from your pocket. The one that fell from your visor. How hadn't you found it sooner? Without too much thought, you opened the jar on your dresser where other notes had been collecting and went about getting ready.

You stared into your closet for far too long, almost talking yourself into throwing on a pair of leggings and calling it a day. But then you found an unassuming longsleeved dress, one that was passable in the cut-throat world of party fashion, but somehow remained supremely comfortable. It would do.

Then you hurried to fetch your friends from across town. Zoey and Lyla were dressed in tight velvet and equally as confused when you showed up to their door without Joe. "He's never not with you." Zoey pointed out. "Is he okay?" Lyla worried. This only made your heart hammer despite all your efforts to pretend everything was perfectly fine.

You pulled into a shitty diner because Zoey wanted breakfast for dinner. Both girls were enjoyable company, laughing over memes and telling you their latest gossip. The three of you were nearly through your meals when Joe finally showed up to join the party. He was dressed for the occasion, in a cozy blue sweater and dark jeans. You had to turn and sip your soda to keep from staring. Joe slid into your side of the booth with an arm across the seat, trapping you into his side and unknowingly making your guts twist up. Lyla seemed unusually unassuming. Every time before now, when Joe was in her line of sight, Lyla hardly ever hesitated to throw her self near him. You wondered why the hell everyone was being so insanely weird tonight, but then the thought brought you comfort, hoping you weren't alone in all the unease.

While Zoey and Lyla waited in a long queue to pay, Joe dragged you around the corner to an empty section of the diner. For just a moment, Joe stalled and looked to you with a barely noticeable furrow in his brow. It was as if he had something to say but forgot in a flash. Just when you were about to question Joe's antics, he turned away from you and walked deeper into the unused room. There was a giant, brightly painted claw machine in the corner, stuffed with prizes of the highest caliber.

"I dont have any quarters." You frowned, looking toward your friend. His smirk was back, the one you'd missed seeing all this time. Joe just chuckled, reached into his pocket and stepped up to play the game.

You should have been distracting him with a joke. You should have been saying something. He dragged you all the way back here to be apart of the fun. But all thoughts faded while you kept an eye on your dear friend. Joe was surprisingly good at operating the machine, eyes focused on the claw, fingers moving the control in just the right direction. It was becoming a challenge to keep your lovesick thoughts from burning your skin.

Joe broke out into a celebratory jig when the claw latched onto some plush toy and you laughed all the while, snapping back to reality. Joe retrieved a small plush bear from the prize slot and tossed it your way. You caught the thing without missing a beat, but the action caused your head to clog up all over again.

Luckily, Zoey and Lyla popped around the corner, excited to leave for your roommates long-awaited Valentine's day party. You kept a hold of the claw machine prize while you drove the girls in your car, watching Joe's following close behind.

The party was in full swing by the time you arrived. With the plush bear dangling by its paw from your grasp, you led your crew inside. Past guests who had all already shown up, mostly Tilly's friends. Men with sharp jawlines and nice cologne. Girls in tight dresses, lingerie peeking out from hemlines. And a couple of people you knew, offering hugs and demanding selfies in their matching themed headbands.

Your friends grabbed some from the bin next to the door. Joe chose a headband with cartoon hearts but turned to put it on your head like a crown. All you could do was hope to high heavens that you weren't blushing.

"Snacks in the kitchen. Don't forget to try the 'Love Potion' it's actually pretty good." You shrugged, passing a massive bowl of pink alcohol nestled behind a row of already filled cups. Joe grabbed one as he followed your lead.

"Everyone is in there." You gestured toward the living room entryway, where a group of girls lingered, taking selfies. Zoey and Lyla scurry hand in hand into the dim dance party.

"And you should be too! Nice of you to finally make it." Tilly twirled into your vision, toting an empty tray, her sequined dress sparkling right in your eye.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Joe greeted with a smile. She gave him a half-hearted hug, complaining about running out of finger foods. Your roommate loaded her tray with cups full of candy hearts and dashed back into the room where the party raged on.

The kitchen was empty and quiet now. You reached for a skewer of cherries and plucked one off to eat. A distraction.

"You look really nice. I like this." Joe actually honest to God tugged at the hem of your dress. And somehow, you magically managed to keep from fainting into a puddle.

"Thanks. You too." You shrugged, eating another cherry. You were being weird again. Usually, you'd make a joke or sashay around the kitchen to show off your look. But your feelings were collected in a mess of worried thoughts, and you were being weird. You knew Joe noticed, but if he cared, that didn't show.  He just downed his 'Love Potion' and reached for two wine glasses from the rack near your stove.

"The usual?" He asked in a funny voice, already reaching for the bottles of wine on your counter.

"Of course."

You liked white wine, but not too sweet. He liked red wine, but not too bitter. So you learned one night, to mix them together. Everyone around you practically shrieked in terror, because of etiquette or whatever. But you and Joe eventually figured out the perfect proportion to mix, and he made a show of it every time. You were laughing again, as Joe poured each wine in a separate glass and went on pouring one into the other until he was satisfied. It was like watching a middle schooler at a science fair. He offered you one of the experiments and leaned across the counter to enjoy his own glass.

Then you settled into conversation, like always. He talked about his flight. You bit your tongue. You kept waiting for Joe to mention anything about being occupied earlier. Where he might have gone and why. But he never did. So why did he skip out from you in the middle of the afternoon? And why was he acting like nothing was strange at all? Why was Joe standing in the kitchen with you, instead of flirting with one of Tilly's pretty friends with sparkly devil horned headbands peeking through their silky hair?

Your intrusive thoughts were quieted as Joe asked about you. And somehow you both stared laughing about stupid old jokes, reaching for another love potion and gripping a little tighter to the plush bear in your fist.

When Tilly turned off too many lights and cranked up some tasteless raunchy record, Joe rolled his eyes. You watched him move to the other end of the kitchen, snatching the two bottles of wine, and an unopened box of frosting covered cookies.

"Come on!" He snickered, clearly headed right toward your room. You giggled, pushing yourself from the counter to follow behind him, toward your bedroom.

Usually, when Joe hung out at your flat, you'd had to hide away in your room together often. At first, because Tilly would bring dates home who couldn't keep their hands to themselves far past the living room couch. Later on, because it became a normal and relaxing spot to unwind.

So when you shut and locked the door, to keep any drunken partiers from breaking in, it didn't feel weird. And it wasn't unnatural the way Joe flung himself toward your bed. He reached across the empty blanket-covered space to grab your remote. You ripped off your stupid cartoon heart headband and rested it on the dresser with your plush bear, the same space the jar of notes had taken residence.

Before you knew it, Joe had queued up 10 Things I Hate About You, kicked off his shoes and settled in for one of your favorite stories. Naturally, you floated to his side and tore into the tin of iced cookies, much like any other normal movie night with your friend.

Joe made you screech like a loon, adding his own commentary and laughing too hard to even go on doing so. Maybe it was the wine, but either way, it was paradise. And Joe always made you laugh that hard. Between the sweets and all the wine, You and Joe nearly laughed yourselves sick. When the film cut to the scene where Kat was meant to read her poem, Joe lunged for the remote and clicked pause.

"Okay, name ten things you hate about me, Go!" Joe laughed, laying back and looking up to where you sat cross-legged, sipping some water you'd earlier filled your cup with from your bathroom sink.

"One..." You thought for a second, glancing at the bottle Joe kept a loose clutch on. "That you're hogging all the wine." You laughed, swiping the bottle from his grasp. He gave it up easily, chuckling with you.

"Nine more to go." Joe rose a brow, searching your eyes as you held the wine bottle to your chest. You couldn't think of anything besides the way Joe's eyes peered into yours, how they still seemed so bright in your low lit bedroom. You were suddenly a little too flustered by the sight of Joe laying against your pillows.

"I can't think of anymore." You looked away from Joe's gaze and took a swig of wine right from the bottle.

"I'm sure that's not true," Joe chuckled again, egging you onto listing off the things he did that annoyed you. But you couldn't seem them right now, you couldn't see much of anything past the way your eyes fogged over with a rosy sheen.

"I dont hate you, Joe." There you went again, speaking without thinking and letting your tone reveal more than intended. You hadn't even considered a response before that one came tumbling past your lips, like a half-hearted confession. It was quiet then, with the movie on pause. Even the heavy thrum of music from past your closed-door seemed light-years away.

"What were you going to tell me? Earlier?" Joe asked, propping himself up a little so his eyes could catch yours again.

"Oh uh- no. Nope, not yet. I should probably wait." You decided, feeling vile for admitting you had something to say but holding it hostage all because you were suddenly not at all ready to give up this moment. You figured Joe would catch on to any way you acted trying to hide your feelings, but when you froze up, Joe had yet to call you out. So now you were trapped in feeling too frightened to give any of this up. Say how you felt would ruin all the fun. You didn't want to confess, watch Joe leave and spend the night locked away alone while strangers made out in the hallway outside your door.

Thankfully, Joe didn't push you any further. He just watched you watching him. You knew better than to say another word. But then, Joe shifted. He slid off the side of your bed onto the floor beside you, kneeling with one knee on the ground.

"What the hell are you up to?" You couldn't help but cackle, out of nerves mostly. Joe had that look in his eye, the one he got before telling you a story or showing you something he was proud of.

He reached into his back pocket.a Joe pulled out a pretty velvet wallet. He held it out in front of you.

"I uh... I tried to give this to you at the diner. Unzip." Joe demanded, still holding onto the thing.

You glared suspiciously out of the corner of your eye, taking a beat to try and figure out what this is all about. After setting your bottle of wine on your bedside table,  you did as he said. Inside the wallet was a tiny yellow note.

It read "Happy Valentine's Day" in Joe's writing. Nothing more. Nothing less. It was the first note he'd given you in ages, even though you'd only just found the last one he left, today... This one felt different. Your heart seemed to grow three sizes as you glanced over his holiday greeting once more.

"It always takes you way too long to find my notes. Keep this with you, I'll put them in here for you to find, from now on." Joe explained with a sleepy smile.

"I do." You mocked his kneeling on one knee, ignoring the butterflies multiplying in your belly. Joe's smile was soft as he slowly shifted to sit on the edge of your bed next to you.

"There's something else in there." His voice nearly caught in his throat, it was so quiet. The muffled music from the party outside your door was beating as heavily as your heart inside your chest. Joe was so close to you that you could practically feel him, just far enough away to leave you wishing you really could.

You let those thoughts seep into the back of your mind while you reached into the wallet once more. You pulled out another piece of trimmed stock paper. This note was an unusual shade of tea green, and three words were meticulously scrawled in dark marker.

"I love you."

I love you?

"Joe..."

"I 've had this plan forever, but I started overthinking everything. So I waited till the last minute and I had to go buy more of this paper and I felt really bad about sending you away without earlier any explanation. But I wanted you to have this. It's like a promise. You keep the wallet, I'll keep giving you these notes." Joe gestured toward the gift as you gapped at him. "And also I love you. I know it's a cheesy holiday but it doesn't matter, I couldn't as hold it in any longer and I wanted to do something for you anyway but I didn't wanna freak you out and -"

"That's what I was gonna say. Earlier. I was gonna tell you that I'm in love with you. But then I got scared. I... I never thought you'd. .. " You look back down at the note. His confession.

"Well, I do."

"You really love me?"

"I love you a whole fuckin' lot."

"I love you." You grinned in near disbelief. The irony of this situation was almost unreal. Joe was here, something you'd been so nervous about. If only you could have spoken up at the airport, maybe this day would have gone differently. But a wave of affection washed over you thinking back to Joe's sweet presentation. You wouldn't have wanted this day to have gone differently, after all.

And slowly, you both leaned in. Joe was the first to brush his lips against yours. You pressed yours back with all the care in the world. That must have been enough of a confirmation for Joe, as he moved to cradle your head in his hands while proceeding to part your lips and kiss you like a soldier coming home after too long gone. Your head spun as you registered the way he smelt like fancy cologne and the way his fingertips pressed into your head, pulling your lips closer to his. You thought of nothing but the way he kissed you, warmly and deeply. You lifted a hand to rest on his shoulder. But you couldn't tell if it was because you longed to touch him, or if you needed the extra support from how dizzy his kisses were making you. But they slowed after then and turned into lingering pecks. As you parted ways to catch your breath, you glanced to his gift still in your grasp.

"Thank you for this, Joe." He looked to the wallet you'd fixed your gaze on. "You've got a lot of notes to catch up on, ya know?" Joe had been gone for longer than you allowed yourself to keep track, feeling void grow vaster every day he wasn't around.

"I hope those two will suffice for now," Joe smirked, searching your face. His eyes were still sleepy but they were filled with all kinds of multitudes; flecks of gold and green you'd always wanted to look at a little longer each time your eyes managed to meet his.

"They're the best notes you've ever left me." You beamed, glancing at Joe with a wide smile. Then you were struck with the realization that everything still felt normal. Exceptionally normal. Tilly was right when she warned you not to worry. You rested the wallet on your side table next to a bottle of wine and turned back to throw yourself toward Joe, wrapping him in a hug that was more like a tackle. He laughed at your antics, chuckles dying down when you pressed your lips against his, again. Joe gave you a sweet kiss back before he broke out into quiet laughs once more.

"Were you really gonna lay all that on me at the airport, earlier? Why didn't you? We could have gone viral on Facebook, or something." Joe teased. Yep, still normal.

Even though some shitty pop music still blasted from the living room, you reached for the remote to start the movie over and turned up the volume. The rest of the night faded into some pulsing daydream version of all the things you longed to do with Joe. Lingering touches you'd never let yourself wish for, because you were so sure they'd never come true. Sweet, hot kisses that each lasted a little longer each time you met again after pausing to breathe. You laughed the whole night long, about how you stopped Joe from leaving marks on your neck long enough for you to focus on your favorite part of the movie. You laughed over one of Joe's stupid puns. You muffled your giggles when some drunken party people tried their luck at your locked door handle. You marveled the colors Joe was made up of and he traced every shape of you, with focused eyes and a smile you could have gazed at forever. After the deed was done, and done again, you ended up wearing Joe's sweater, polishing off the last of the wine from the bottle. Joe had somehow found that stupid Valentine's day themed headband (the one with the cartoon hearts) and wore it a little crooked while he snacked on those cookies he'd stolen from the party earlier. He actually ate the last cookie, even as you protested. You were actually kind of hungry, by now.

So once you noted that the music from the living room had been turned off for a while, and noticing the clock on your wall ready somewhere around 2 in the morning, you had no qualms with sneaking to the kitchen for a midnight snack. You collected all the trash you'd accumulated and skipped out of your bedroom door as quiet as a mouse, really hoping some of the fruit skewers were left. There were a couple of guys passed out in the frame of the hallway entry, and you had to maneuver around a few more sleeping beauties in the living room. By the time you rid your arms of two empty wine bottles and an empty tin of cookies, someone else pushed open the kitchen door.

"Holy shit, I thought everyone was asleep." You gasped with a hand on your chest, watching Tilly groggily shuffling toward the refrigerator.

"Fuck!" She cursed weakly. "Someone stole my Gatorade."

"Take one of my coconut smoothies from the back." You shrugged, knowing your roommate only sought to prevent feeling like shite in the morning.

"God, you're an angel." Tilly croaked as you snagged the last skewer of cherries and kiwis from the fruit stained cutting board. Tonight had really turned out in your favor.

"But you look like hell." Tilly went on, shutting the fridge and moving to make her exit. But before she could leave she kept an eye on you while you snacked on the leftover fruit. And the look in your roommate's eye shifted as she gave you a once over.

"Care to explain in explicit detail why you're wearing Joe's sweater?" She asked with a grin and a look in her eye that made you believe the girl would have acted far more excited if she wasn't so partied out.

"You don't need to know everything..." You turned slightly to hide the blush on your cheeks, even in the dark kitchen. But Tilly already knew everything, even what you weren't telling her. "Yet."

After you shared a hardy laugh, Tilly sulked back to her room with one of your favorite smoothies in hand. But not before she said, "I told you there was nothing to worry about."

Of course, she had been right all along. You wondered how Tilly could have been so sure all this time as you walked back to your bedroom. There you found Joe had tidied up the colossal mess you'd made of the sheets and was in the middle of queuing up one of your favorite shows. You performed the ritual of locking the door and throwing yourself on to your bed, and into Joe's arms. He engulfed you in a familiar hold and chuckled as something on the television. As much as you enjoyed being with him, you couldn't get over the fact that he was here with you. You laid next to Joe in the stillness of your bedroom, considering the whirlwind your day had been, reveling in how everything ended up.

You used to only like the day after Valentine's day, when all the chocolates went on sale. It was three in the morning on the fifteenth, and you had a whole lot more too look forward too, now.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

[nellie-elizabeth]

Arrow: Starling City (8x01)

Tommy! This show knows how to hook me, and really there's only one reliable way nowadays: Tommy Merlyn.

Cons:

Going in to this season, I was feeling pretty skeptical about my level of interest. And while I greatly enjoyed this premiere, a few of my fears did indeed prove to be founded. For one, I do not watch any of the other shows in the Arrowverse, and I honestly don't think I'm going to. There's this whole "Crisis" thing that all the shows are building to for their big crossover event, and I just refuse to get looped in. I'm sure it's cool for those who also watch Flash and Supergirl and Batwoman and whatever else, but for me, the looming crossover just detracts from the stuff happening in this specific show, with these specific characters.

Also, we see Oliver's journey from where we left him at the end of last season, and we also see the future stuff, with Mia, William, et. al. All of last season, I kept waiting for things to snap into place so that I could enjoy this future of Star City. All the time, I thought the point was to prevent such a dark future, but instead we're just... there now. And there's nothing really interesting or compelling about it. See, I like Mia and William well enough. But I really don't know anything about these other characters. It's probably my fault for not paying enough attention last season, but there were so many moments where I couldn't remember why certain characters were behaving the way they were. Why is J.J. evil? And Connor is his... brother? Are they both John and Lyla's sons? Was this explained last season and I was just watching with glazed-over eyes and missed it? Where is John Diggle in the future? Did we ever get a firm answer on that? It's annoying to still not be clear on the circumstances of this world.

Everything about seeing Moira and Malcolm and Tommy again was so wonderful that I got really pissed off when the world suddenly started to unravel right there at the end. I wanted Oliver to spend the whole damn season there, or I wanted Tommy to come through with him to Oliver's original world so we could hang out with him some more. It was a situation where the first episode had so many things I adored about it, that I worry the rest of the season is going to be a drag in comparison.

Pros:

There were a few things about the future stuff that I liked. It's sweet seeing Mia and William bonding, or at least William trying to bond, and Mia barely tolerating the attempt. We saw the start of this dynamic last season, but I'm anxious to see more bonding as brother and sister between these two. (Although, can I just say the casting is funny? Isn't William supposed to be like twelve years older than Mia? I think the actors' ages map out correctly, but William is being played like a fresh-faced twenty-something, not a forty-year-old. And can we get him a boyfriend, please?).

I also like the way that William is taking on the Overwatch position, since it just cements how much Felicity really is his mother, even after all the time they spent apart. It's cute to see him be the tech guy, while Mia and the others kick ass out on the field. We're seeing that they aren't exactly a well-oiled machine at this point, and while there are many things about this whole plot thread that I don't like, I think I could really enjoy spending some time watching them become better as a unit.

Okay but honestly, this whole premiere was made for me the second I realized that Oliver was back at his own Season One origin story. Only this time, it's been twelve years, instead of just five. And this time, Oliver is coming back to a world where his mother married Malcolm Merlyn, Thea died in a drug overdose on her eighteenth birthday, and Tommy has turned evil and is trying to pull off his own Undertaking, to take down the Glades in revenge for what happened to Thea. With the assistance of Dinah and Rene, who are corrupt. Oh, and Adrian Chase is the Hood in this universe, with Laurel assisting as the Black Canary. Things are twisty, and the whole story-line was giving me so much joy from the very first minute.

Oliver is on this version of Earth for a very clear purpose - he's got to retrieve a science-y thing to help prevent the Crisis or whatever. Nobody really cares about the specifics. He expects to die, and wants to do this alone, which is why it's very frustrating to him that John Diggle - his John Diggle - has followed him to this dimension to help him out. Talk about brotherhood! These two are so sweet together. Oliver spends a good chunk of the episode saying that he has to go it alone because he's trying to "contain the blast" and not let anyone else get hurt. And then Diggle points out that this is stupid, and that he's not going to stand there and let Oliver go quietly into that good night. Of course Oliver tries to escape, and John finds him and saves him, and it's all just very cute. The fact that John was willing to follow Oliver into such obvious danger warms my heart in the best way. I loved that moment when Oliver realized that the John Diggle he was talking to was the one he already knew. There was such a sense of mingled relief and exasperation. So sweet.

I have ALL THE FEELS about Moira and Tommy. My favorite seasons of Arrow were the early ones, when the show was half superhero drama, and half family soap opera. I loved all of the family and relationship stuff that has kind of fallen by the wayside in later seasons, and seeing Moira and Tommy again was just such a shot of adrenaline for me. Obviously, Oliver is playing a role here. He's back to pretending that he's spent all of that time on an island by himself. He can drink in the sight of his dead mother and dead best friend and play it off as just missing them, when in reality, he's seeing them again after their deaths. It's all sorts of emotional and I am all about it.

I particularly like thinking about how this Moira fits in with the events of this particular universe. We know she was caught up in a lot of shady stuff, but we also know how much she would do for her kids. Imagining her in a world where she believes Oliver to be dead, and then Thea dies too... that is so extra-strength tragic. Like I said, I wish we could have stuck around longer and explored this more.

And Tommy. Tommy. I don't think I've ever been more enamored with a character on a show that was really only around for such a short amount of the run time. I can't even really pin down what I like about it so much. I think maybe it's because Tommy is the one vestige of who Oliver was in his childhood that always seems to be strong enough to break through his trauma. He loves Tommy. He will never stop grieving for him. And here we get to see Tommy going down a dark path, and Oliver gets to save him with a speech about the good person Oliver knows him to be. It was all just so lovely. I also adore the two of them bonding over Thea. Oliver is obviously devastated to hear the news, but it's Tommy this time who has had to live with losing his sister in a very real way. The moment when Tommy is apologizing to Oliver, telling him he tried to look after her... ugh. Be still my beating heart. I wish Tommy could be back on the show permanently! I would kill for that!

Adrian Chase felt like an odd choice to be this world's version of the Arrow, but it was kind of funny to see Oliver just accept it and roll with the punches. It was very much a situation of "well, this might as well happen." And seeing Laurel in her element as the Canary was wonderful. There was even a really sweet moment when Oliver tells her that she's a hero and this world is safe in her hands, and it felt like such a touching capstone to their tumultuous relationship.

I guess I'll end this review by saying that Stephen Amell really knocked it out of the park. There was a lot going on here - Oliver having to act like a different version of himself, coming face to face with long dead enemies and friends alike, trying to stay focused on his mission while missing Felicity and his children... Amell does a great job of handling all of the crazy emotions and bringing the audience up to speed on the strange circumstances. I know this show has definitely seen better days, but they've got a strong leading man at the helm, and I'm still along for the ride.

That's all I've got! I worry that this premiere isn't a sign of good things to come, but rather a high-point in nostalgia that will artificially make the rest of the season seem a bit lackluster in comparison. But I'll admit I'm excited to see what's next. How is Oliver going to justify being back in his own world and not checking in on Felicity and baby Mia? I guess we'll find out soon!

9/10

[raywritesthings]

Dear Friend, 5/?

My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Laurel Lance, Oliver Queen, Quentin Lance Pairing: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen Summary: When Felicity decides to get serious about Ray, she knows it won’t be a good idea for Oliver to be hanging around. So she turns to the world of online dating to keep him distracted. Unknown to the both of them, over the summer Joanna had set Laurel up with an online dating account in the hopes that her friend could move on from past failed relationships. There’s only one way this can end. *Can also be read on my AO3*

Oliver wasn’t sure exactly how to feel. He was back home after a grueling recovery from the brink of death. He still had no idea what to do about the situation with Thea; if he should tell her, how to do so, and above all how to keep her safe. And Felicity officially wanted nothing to do with him because of Malcolm.

The one thing he hadn’t been anticipating, though perhaps he should have, was Laurel taking up a mask and joining the fight in the streets. His first instinct was to intervene as quickly and severely as possible. Losing Sara had been one thing; he couldn’t even imagine what it would do to him if he couldn’t keep Laurel safe.

But he needed to try and understand things from her point of view. They’d been working on that before, and he knew if he went to her now with his emotions a mess he would ruin any progress they’d made. Having just lost Felicity’s confidence, he wasn’t eager to do that with another person in his life.

Alone for the first time since he’d gotten back to the base and with time to spare, Oliver’s eyes went to his phone. If there wasn’t anyone in his real life he could turn to at the moment, maybe he still had someone to talk to.

He opened the app and was surprised to see the number of messages waiting for him. As he read them, a lead weight seemed to drop into his stomach.

His thumbs started moving over the keys at a frantic pace.

KingOfSurvival: god, I’m sorry. I went somewhere over the holiday without any cell service. Just got back.

KingOfSurvival: I should have said something before I left. Are you ok?

He stared at the screen for what felt an age before the bubble indicating her typing appeared.

JusticeIsAWoman: yeah, I’m fine. I should have guessed it was that. Sorry for jumping to conclusions.

KingOfSurvival: it’s fine. sounds like you had a rough Christmas. I’m really sorry about your friend-ex

JusticeIsAWoman: oh

JusticeIsAWoman: no, he’s ok

Oliver blinked at his screen in surprise.

KingOfSurvival: really?

JusticeIsAWoman: yeah. I should have known. I did know, but everyone else was so convinced. I guess I was letting it get to me a little when I wrote that.

KingOfSurvival: so what really happened to him?

JusticeIsAWoman: honestly, I don’t know the whole story. I don’t even know that he’d tell me if I asked

KingOfSurvival: if he’s your friend at all he should

JusticeIsAWoman: why do I detect a hint of doubt on your part?

Oliver smirked, sitting back as he thought his way through a reply.

KingOfSurvival: well, to be honest, from everything you’ve told me...he doesn’t sound that great

There was a bit of a pause. For a moment, he wondered if he’d touched a nerve. Then it looked like she was starting and stopping various replies.

JusticeIsAWoman: it’s complicated

JusticeIsAWoman: I mean, yes, he can be difficult. And sometimes I wonder why I bother, but then I’m just as difficult at times

JusticeIsAWoman: he’s been through a lot, and it hasn’t been easy for him. And a lot of that stuff we’ve been through together

JusticeIsAWoman: I guess we sort of need each other, in a way

JusticeIsAWoman: does that make any sense?

He wished that didn’t make as much sense as it did. But Oliver had his own share of people he’d put through Hell and yet couldn’t let go of. And honesty was his own stumbling block.

His thoughts turned again to Laurel, punching through the streets on his behalf, waiting for any new leads on her sister’s case. What would his anonymous friend think of him if she knew he was just as bad at telling his loved ones the truth?

If he was going to make judgments on her friend-ex, shouldn’t he hold himself to the same, if not higher, standard? Practice what he preached?

KingOfSurvival: Yeah, it does

KingOfSurvival: but that doesn’t mean you should put up with less than you deserve

JusticeIsAWoman: my head understands that. Heart, not so much

JusticeIsAWoman: gotta go

KingOfSurvival: ok

Oliver watched the screen a moment more, but she really did seem to be gone. He wondered if pushing for more had made her uncomfortable or if she really had been called away.

He read over his last few words. Putting up with less than she deserved. That just about summed up his relationship with Laurel. She never demanded more, yet he hated himself for each and every disappointment he delivered her.

Well no more. He had nearly died facing Ra’s al Ghul, but he’d gotten the chance to come home and make things right. And he had a much better idea of what that meant this time around.

He’d pledged his service to the city, and he could start repairing the relationships he had with his team and family. Thea would have to learn the truth, if only for her own safety, but maybe that could finally bring them together like they hadn’t been since before the island. John and Lyla’s wedding was approaching, and he could be there for them, too. He could figure out how to bridge the gaps with his other friends as well. Have a life and not just a mission.

And it only made sense to start with the friend who insisted those were both possible for him. Once again, talking to his online friend had showed him just how badly he owed Laurel an explanation.

—-

She should have been expecting this the moment her father caught sight of her on the streets. He hadn’t even bothered to knock, just barged right in as she only just settled onto her couch for the night, tired and relieved at finally hearing back from her dating app friend. She typed out a quick goodbye and tucked her phone away.

“Hey, dad.”

“What are you thinking? Huh?”

She didn’t bother to ask what he meant. They both knew.

“I’d been hearing reports, you know. Didn’t want to believe them. Hoped you had better sense than that.”

Laurel stood. She’d never liked giving him even more reason to feel he was talking down to her. “Yes, better sense than to assume the justice system was ever going to stop Brick.”

“Well, that doesn’t make it your job!” He snapped. She’d known he would. “Damnit, Laurel, you are not some vigilante!”

“So you’d rather I ask another one to do it for me?” She took a step towards him. “That’s not who I am. It never has been, no matter how hard you have tried to keep me out of it. I can’t live in this ivory tower of safety while everyone I know is going out there fighting the battles that I picked in the first place!”

“You’re gonna get yourself killed just like Sara did,” he said, pointing at her in accusation. “And I will not let that happen, Laurel, I won’t.”

“You’ll have to arrest me, then.”

She stood her ground, and her father glared back at her. Laurel truly didn’t know in this moment what he would decide.

But a knock at the door interrupted anything he might have said or done next.

“If I am allowed to get that?” She didn’t wait for his answer, striding to the door and wrenching it open. She blinked in surprise at who was on the other side. “Oliver.”

“Hey.” His eyes drifted over her head. “Is this a bad time?”

She looked back to see her father had followed her out of the sitting room. He hadn’t taken out the cuffs yet, at the least.

“No, no that’s fine,” said her father. “You can try talking some sense into her.” He pushed past Laurel and out the door, striding to the elevators without a backward glance.

Laurel sighed and let Oliver in, shutting the door behind him.

“What was that about?”

“He knows I was there in the Glades, fighting. And that’s the extent of it,” she added before he could start to worry about his identity being compromised.

“And he’s not okay with it.”

“Well, nobody is, are they?”

He winced. “Laurel, I may not be happy you’re out there, but I know you. You were going to do this whether I was here or not.”

Now that she was thinking about Oliver’s absence again, a question came to her. A question her online friend believed she had the right to know the answer to. If Oliver still considered her a friend at all...here went nothing. “Why did you go to fight the League? The others never said.”

Oliver hesitated. But eventually, he answered, “The reason I left to fight Ra’s was because we figured out who killed Sara.”

Laurel went completely still. “You figured out — the team knew? This whole time?”

“I asked them not to tell you.”

“Why?”

“Because I knew this is how you’d react,” he said, frustration evident. “That you’d be upset.”

“Of course I’m upset!” She stalked toward him, sitting there acting like he was the reasonable one. He always thought he was. “You hid my sister’s killer from me, Oliver. Put yourself in my shoes and see if you don’t get upset!”

“And that’s why I didn’t have them tell you!” He rose to his feet as well, shouting. Laurel didn’t even flinch, and in the face of that he seemed to shrink back in on himself. “I had to protect my family, too.”

Laurel’s own fury faltered. “What- what are you saying?”

“Laurel, I’m sorry.” And he really did look it, absolutely miserable and tired. “But it was Thea.”

No. She wasn’t sure if she spoke it or simply thought it. Laurel sunk down onto her couch, legs unable to hold her as her entire world shifted.

“But, why? Why would Thea…?” It was too horrible to even voice.

“It wasn’t- she was drugged. She wasn’t in control of her actions. She still doesn’t even know she did it.”

Laurel looked up at him. “Then who did it? Who really did this?”

He drew in a breath, like he wanted to hold onto the name for as long as possible. “Malcolm.”

The air left her lungs in a great whoosh. Malcolm. Of course it had been him all along. Stranding Oliver and Sara in the North China Sea, the Undertaking and all its victims, Tommy’s sacrifice — none of it was ever going to be enough to sate that man’s desires.

“He has a recording of Thea doing it, and if I hadn’t confessed in her place he promised to send it to the League.” His eyes were begging her to understand.

“So why not tell them that? Nyssa would have believed you.”

“But who’s to say if her father would have?”

That she could understand. Oliver would never depend on the mercy of a stranger when it came to his sister’s safety. Neither of them would. They’d sooner throw themselves on the sword, even if they didn’t come back like Oliver miraculously had.

“What are we going to do now? If you didn’t die but didn’t defeat Ra’s, is that going to satisfy them?”

“I don’t know. But I’m preparing.” Oliver didn’t speak for a few moments, and she could see him weighing whether to continue or not in his mind. “I’ve asked Malcolm to help train me.”

“You better be joking.”

“I’m not. He’s better than me, and he has knowledge about Ra’s that I need.”

She shook her head. “He can’t beat Ra’s, Oliver. That’s why he set this up in the first place so you would do it for him.” Couldn’t he see he was being used as surely as Thea had been? That Malcolm had been willing to see him tossed aside the same as Sara?

“I know, but I don’t have many other options. I’m not asking you to agree with me, but if this is going to make things difficult to work together, then you needed to know.”

Work together. Oliver was actually considering that an option. She wanted to feel some rush of pride or satisfaction, but the knowledge of just who all she’d be agreeing to side with made that impossible. Could she do it? Work with the man who’d arranged her sister’s death in order to keep her other loved ones safe?

“What does Thea know?” It roiled her stomach, thinking of how thoroughly her younger friend had been used. What would be going through her head?

“Nothing yet. But I’m going to tell her. All of it.” He frowned, his brow furrowing. “She needs to train, too, in case the League ever finds out her involvement.”

They both knew that was less likely to be an if and rather a when. Even in the event the League never found out, Thea would be a target purely because of her relation to Oliver. And Laurel refused to lose Thea, not when she was the closest thing to a little sister she had left.

“Then I guess I’m on your team after all.”

His shoulders sagged in relief. She wasn’t done, though.

“But Oliver, if the League comes back, I will not hesitate to give them Malcolm—”

He shook his head. “Laurel, this can’t be about justice or revenge anymore—”

“—for you,” she finished and watched his eyes widen. “If it would save you or Thea, I would do it in a heartbeat.”

He stared at her, saying nothing, and yet Laurel could feel the sadness radiating from him.

“What?”

“I never wanted you to have to make those kind of choices.”

“I work in the DA’s office, Ollie. I make those kind of choices every day.”

She didn’t know how to make him or her father see that she wasn’t that naive girl anymore, and that she never would be again. For better or worse, this was who she was.

Oliver nodded, though his voice barely carried as he said, “You’re right.”

She felt some of the tension relax in her shoulders. So they knew where they stood now. No surprises.

“Do you need to get home? Thea has to be pretty worried about you by now.”

“I should, yeah. Just knew I needed to do this first.”

Laurel felt her lips curve up slightly. “Well, thank you. And I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I always try to be.”

Oliver stood there a few moments more, like he wasn’t sure if he should just go or not. Laurel sighed and stood, putting her arms around him.

“And we’ll get through this. We always do.”

Ollie hugged her back, one hand placed at the back of her head as if to hold her in place there. It wasn’t fair how right it felt, how much like home.

But he eventually stepped back and left her apartment, the door closing quietly on him. Laurel bypassed the couch and went straight to her bed. It had been a long night.

She set her phone on her nightstand as she changed into her pajamas, wincing at a couple sore muscles that stretched with the movement. There were no new notifications, so she’d have to assume her anonymous friend had turned in for the night. If only he'd gotten back from his vacation a day earlier, she wouldn't have been trying to juggle both him and her real life friends as much.

Laurel considered sending him another message to apologize for signing off so abruptly, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to break down the conversations with her father and Oliver.

She was never ready to figure out what was going on with Oliver.

Laurel slipped under the covers and did her best to put any and all of those matters out of her mind in order to sleep. Fortunately, she was worn out enough from the fight to drop right off.

[expensiveminimalist]

It Took One Night - William Nylander (Part 10)

A/N: Hey lovelies, here’s part 10! It crosses over into part 11 so please don’t think I just decided to cut it off there lol 

Word Count: 3k 

Warnings: Pregnancy, Swearing (seriously, you know me by now) 

Masterlist 

That night, after the ultrasound, you and William ate waffles in front of the TV and lost count of how many times you’d replayed your sonogram DVD. You were both convinced each time that you’d seen something different, another finger or its toes moving, and you ended up rewinding it several times just to prove that either of you weren’t imagining things.

Since the ultrasound you and William had been spending more and more time together, even though he’d was back training fulltime for the upcoming season. He was continuing to make you a priority and, honestly, it was only making these feelings you had for him stronger – the same damn feelings you were also trying to convince yourself weren’t real.

You were also finallyat the 12 week mark of your pregnancy, and were now happily letting yourself dream about life with your baby would be like, without your anxiety getting in the way. You were still worried, it was only natural since you’d already grown so attached to this tiny human and you wouldn’t stop worrying until you were holding them in your arms. Then, you’d be in your blissful baby bubble for a few hours until your anxiety set back in and you wouldn’t sleep for the next eighteen years.

But being twelve weeks pregnant also meant one other thing, something that you were still trying reassure yourself was going to go well – meeting William’s family. Your biggest concern was that they’d think you were using William, and that you expected him to carry the financial burden of raising a child. It also crossed your mind that you weren’t sure William knew how to introduce you. You weren’t his girlfriend but you also weren’t just a random that was carrying his baby. He’d made it obvious that you meant something to him, what you weren’t entirely sure, and the last thing you wanted was to make him feel awkward in front of his own family.

So, naturally, it was the only thing you’d been thinking about for the last week since William said that his family was having dinner on Saturday night, and you were the guest of honour. He didn’t exactly put it like that but you definitely felt you were going to be on a pedestal, so that his family could figure out whether you were someone that was going to be a problem in William’s life. You felt terrible that you were making them out to be a hoard of monsters in your mind but you were genuinely terrified that they’d hate you, and not just for yourself but for your baby. When William had spoken about his family he’d always talked about them so fondly and said how close they are which is something you’d hope that your child would get to experience, unlike the train wreck that was your own family. You just hoped that you wouldn’t be the reason that your baby could potentially miss out.

---

You’d had to work on Saturday which served as a great distraction from thinking about tonight’s dinner. The only problem was, by the time you got home, you were ready to have a shower and get into bed, not have a shower and go and meet the father of your child’s entire family.  

You spent about twenty minutes going through every item of clothing in your closet and drawers to try and find something suitable before flopping on your bed in defeat, still wrapped in your towel from your shower.

“So is there any reason that I keep hearing very loud groaning coming from your room?” Lyla asked, walking into your room and smirking as she saw you laying in your towel.

“I know what you’re thinking and no I wasn’t doing that, I’m just trying to find something to wear”

“Shit, got a hot date have you?”

“If you call meeting someone’s family a ‘hot date’, then totally”

“How long have you had a boyfriend and why haven’t I met him yet?” Lyla said, jokingly putting her hand over her mouth as she faked a gasp of surprise.

You ran your hands through your hair, trying to figure out how you were going to explain your situation to Lyla, “He’s uh, he’s not exactly my boyfriend per say. But, you have met him. You’ve met him like a lot”.

Lyla’s face quickly changed from confused to shock as she yelled “holy shit, you and Willy!?”

You felt your face going red as you grabbed your pillow and shoved your face into it, hoping that Lyla would decide not to ask any more questions.

“Wait, you said he wasn’t your boyfriend. If he’s not your boyfriend, why are you meeting his family?” she continued.

You sat up and put the pillow back in place, taking a deep breath as you did so.

“I’m pregnant” you said, watching Lyla’s face closely.

“What!? You mean you and Willy are having a baby?”

“That’s sort of what me saying I’m pregnant means” you said sarcastically.

“Congratulations! And I mean congratulations to you only because I’m going to kick Willy’s ass for not telling me sooner! It’s not like I’m his best friend or anything right!?” she said, breaking into a smile that made you feel so much more relaxed.

“I only just reached twelve weeks so he only told his fam-”

“Twelve weeks! I cannot believe that little shit lied to me for twelve weeks. How rude”

“Lyla he didn’t mean anything by it. It’s my fault for being so paranoid and not wanting to tell anybody that didn’t have to know”

Lyla sat down beside you and put her arms around you, “calm down, I’m kidding. I’m really happy for you, for both of you. I’m assuming I wasn’t planned but he has had a skip in his step lately, so I’m guessing I’m allowed to be happy for you guys?”

“It’s scary but yeah it’s a happy thing” you said, smiling at Lyla as you hugged her back.

“Oh and don’t worry about his family, seriously they are the loveliest people. Alex can be fucking annoying, just like William, but other than that you’re good. And I knowonce they get to know you, they’re gonna love you and realise how perfect you are for that big idiot”

“Thank you, but I said he isn’t my boyfriend”

Lyla rolled her eyes, “yeah just because you said it, doesn’t mean I believe it”.

“Shut up” you said, playfully whacking her with your pillow.

“Hey, you’re the one that needs to work on her acting!” she said, trying to dodge the pillow, “oh and just wear jeans and a nice top - it’s not dinner with the royal family”

In your mind, it might as well have been.

---

Eventually you decided on a pair of high-waisted jeans and a plain white t-shirt, looking at your body in the mirror and wondering when you’d see your first sign of a bump – and when you’d have to buy new jeans. You didn’t, however, manage to dodge Lyla’s kissy faces as you walked out the door and into William’s car.

You were grateful that he’d offered to pick you up, even though you were starting to feel like he was becoming your chauffeur. He didn’t seem to mind though so you felt less guilty about it.

“Remind me again, what are your parents name? I’m blanking and I don’t want to look like a total moron” you said as William drove away from your apartment.

He chuckled, “Michael and Camilla, andyou’re not a moron”

“And you have four sisters and one brother right?” you continued, not wanting to get anything wrong.

“Yes, except Michelle can’t make it so she said that we’ll catch up another time, as long as that’s alright with you of course. But Alex, Jacquline, Stephanie and Daniella will all be there and I promise they’re gonna love you. Well the girls will, Alex will probably just saying something stupid that’ll make you think he doesn’t like you but he doesn’t mean it”

You set about trying to remember everyone’s names and their ages, which William had told you previously, determined to make somewhat of a good first impression.

“Any chance they’ll be wearing name tags?”

William laughed, “I don’t think so. But I do know that my little sisters won’t shut up about you” he said, taking one hand off the wheel and entwining his fingers with yours.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure they think you’re like a princess or something because mum’s been going a bit overboard trying to make everything look perfect, and making sure the foods first class”

“She doesn’t have to do that, I’m nothing special”

“You are special”

You were glad it was dark, otherwise William couldn’t have missed your blushing face.

“Seriously, they’re going to love you. I’m pretty sure mum already does because you’re carrying her grandchild so you beat everyone” he teased.

“Thank you”

“For what?”

“For keeping me from losing my marbles” you said, both of you laughing as he pulled up the driveway.

“Anytime babe”

You lent over and kissed him on the cheek before he stepped out of the car, then smirked as you felt his fingers on your jawline. He turned your face towards his and pressed his lips against yours, gently, before slowly pulling away.

“Ready?”

“Ready”

---

There was a split second as William opened the front door that you considered bolting back to the car and hiding in there for the foreseeable future.

But the minute William took hold of your hand, you felt calmer, knowing that you weren’t alone in this. Regardless of what happened, you had him and that meant the world to you.

“Hello, you’re favourite child has arrived!” William shouted as the two of you walked through the door.

“Willy!” you heard a younger girl yell in reply, before she came sprinting towards him and lept into his arms.

“Hey squirt” he said, hugging her enthusiastically in return.

“Don’t call me squirt, I’m not a little kid”

“Um yeah you are, and don’t be rude – say hi to Y/N”

“Hi Y/N! I’m Daniella” she said, leaving William’s arms and enveloping you into a hug that you hadn’t expected but appreciated none the less.

“Squirt, don’t hug her too hard otherwise the baby will pop out” William teased.

“Babies don’t just pop out Willy, I’m not stupid. And stop calling me squirt”

“My big sister calls me squirt too” you said, smiling at Daniella as she finally let go of you.

“Really! Well, Willy I guess you can call me squirt then” she said, stepping aside as the rest of William’s family came into the living room.

“Told you, she thinks you’re a god” William whispered to you before he went to give his mum and dad a hug.

“Wow Willy, way to introduce us all” his brother chirped as he walked over to give you a hug hello.

“I’m Alex, the better looking brother”

You laughed as you saw William roll his eyes, “he also has terrible eyesight, so that way when he looks in the mirror he doesn’t cry” William shot back.

“Why do you like my brother?” Alex asked, jokingly.

“Stop hogging her!” a girl who was older than Daniella but looked younger than Alex said, following suit of her siblings and wrapping her arms around you. “I’m Jacquline” she said, swatting a hand at Alex to make him go away.

“And I’m Stephanie!” a girl, slightly younger than Jacquline, said as she pushed her sister away and hugged you herself.

“Ok, ok stop crowding her jeez. She’s not a zoo animal” William teased.

“I’m sorry but it’s not very often you let us meet one of your girlfriends so forgive us for wanting to savour the moment” Jacquline shot back.

William poked his tongue at his sister before he motioned for them to move so that you could meet his parents – the actual reason you’d come to dinner.

“Mum, Dad, this is Y/N. She thinks you bite, so be nice”

“William!” you hissed.

“My son thinks he’s so funny” Camilla teased, glaring at William, as she pulled you in for a cuddle.

If you were being honest, you were most afraid of meeting Camilla for the soul purpose that she’s William’s mum. But from the moment she wrapped her arms around you, you felt relaxed and wanted. It was the kind of hug you’d always expected you’d feel from your own mother, except you never did. So you weren’t surprised when you felt yourself almost melting into her, not wanting her to let go of you.

“How have you been feeling? William said your morning sickness had been pretty brutal, I know that feeling” she said, rubbing your back as you wished in your head that Camilla was your mum.

“Yeah it hasn’t been a lot of fun but it’s slowly getting better now. I mean, the chef at work doesn’t think I hate her cooking anymore” you joked, relieved when both Camilla and Michael laughed.

“Glad to hear you’re feeling better. If you weren’t I was going to give you full permission to take it out on long-locks here” Michael teased as he shook your hand.

“Least I have more than a handful of hair on my head dad”

“Yeah, get back to me on that in 10-15 years”

William half pouted, half laughed as he took hold of your hand again and led you over to the couch, shoving Alex over in the process.

“We have a guest” William said as Alex scowled at him.

You sat down next to William, snuggling into his side as he wrapped his arm around you and kissed you on the head.

“You alright?” he whispered.

“Yeah” you whispered back, smiling up at him.

You looked around the living room and noticed that Camilla was the only one missing, and you knew exactly where to find her when you had the clutter of dishes and utensils

“I’m gonna go see if your mum needs any help in the kitchen” you said to William, who reluctantly let you slip away from him.

“Need an extra hand?” you said as you walked into the kitchen, losing all control of your senses as you smelt the food that Camilla had been busy preparing. Food hadn’t been your best friend lately but fuck that smelt delicious.

“Oh no, no you just relax please. You’re our guest” she said, smiling at you.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! But you’re welcome to stay and chat if you want too, I might even let you lick the spoon” she said, noticing your eyes locked on the culinary delight in the frying pan.

“It smells delicious” you said, looking around the kitchen at the feast Camilla had prepared. Then, your eyes noticed a familiar picture on the refrigerator.

“That’s from my ultrasound” you said, smiling as Camilla stopped what she was doing and looked at the sonogram picture as well.

“I may or may not be a proud soon-to-be-grandma if you hadn’t already guessed” she said, taking the picture off the fridge and bringing it over so you could both look at it closer.

“I still can’t believe that he or she is inside of me right now”

“Pretty surreal right? Just wait until you get to hold them in your arms for the first time. Sweetheart you’re going to absolutely melt, there’s no better feeling in the world” Camilla said, wrapping her arm around you once again.

“I wish I could fast-forward to that moment, six months is too long to wait!” you moaned.

“Oh I completely agree but it’s so worth it in the end” she said, squeezing your shoulder.

“William didn’t go into all the details but he did say that you’re not very close with your mum” Camilla said, turning you so you were facing her, “so, I just wanted to let you know that if you ever need to talk about anything, and I mean anything, you can call me whenever you need too ok? I’m here for you too”

You felt your eyes welling up because you couldn’t believe how loving she was being towards you, someone that she’d only just met. This time, you pulled her in for a hug and stayed there for a few minutes as she rubbed her hand up and down your back again, reassuring you that she was in your corner.

“Thank you” you spoke into her shoulder, trying not to get your tears all over her top.

“You’re welcome sweetheart” she said, resting her chin on top of your head.

“Everything ok in here?” William said as he cautiously entered the room, not wanting to interrupt the moment.

“Just a grandma, mummy, baby moment” Camilla said, letting go of you as William handed you a tissue.

She put the sonogram picture carefully back up on the fridge as William came up behind you, wrapped his arms around your waist and let his hands rest on your stomach. You didn’t have a bump yet but William had already made it clear that when you did, he was going to appreciate it.

“So can I steal my girlfriend back or are you two not done yet?” William said, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“I guess I can let you have her back for a little bit, but I want her back after dinner” Camilla teased, not noticing the semi-shocked expression on your face.

Girlfriend. He just called you his girlfriend. He just called you his girlfriend in front of his mum.

You might as well go home now because the odds of you remembering anything else after that– were next to none.

[monster-mum]

Kids say the darndest things.

I have always loved reading. From a young age my room would have piles of books everywhere and it wasn’t unusual for me to be reading more than one book at a time. Around the age of twelve is where my interest developed into writing, more specifically poetry and journalism. My school didn’t have any kind of newsletter at the time so I pitched an idea to the headmaster for a school publication. He approved and within a few months the school Bulletin was born. Surprisingly enough I didn’t write for it, or edit it, despite being asked. I didn’t have the confidence in my own abilities. Twenty something years later I am sat on my couch putting together my first post for my new blog, Onwards, upwards and slightly to the left.

My life now is very different to that of my twelve-year-old self, for one thing I am quite a bit older and have matured, slightly. I have acquired a husband called Chris and have three beautiful children, my little monsters. Steven is seven, Lyla is four and Lachlan is 10 weeks. They are crazy and hilarious. I am slightly taller than I used to be as well and have much better dress sense, though not as good as Lyla’s. I also have lines on my face! You ever look in the mirror and think “Who the hell is that?” I actually physically jumped at the sight of my reflection once. One morning as I gazed horrified at my aging face noticing the crow’s feet framing my eyes, I shouted on my husband. I pointed out the lines and he said “aw I love your smiley lines!” If I had the power to shoot laser beams out of my eyes this would’ve been one of the times it happened. Just to clarify to any men or women reading this, if your wife says she has crow’s feet, or wrinkles around her eyes, your answer should be “what lines?” It’s a very similar response to that rather stunning young woman whose breasts haven’t discovered gravity yet, nothing jiggles on her body and glides (Yes glides, these kinds of women do not bounce unless they are excited) past you in the supermarket. Here’s how that conversation should go.

 Anti-gravity, jiggly proof, gliding woman passes you both.

 Two minutes later…

 Wife “That woman was pretty. I like her top. What do you think?”

 Husband/Wife looks around confused (acting is crucial at this point) “What woman?”

 DING! DING! DING! Correct answer!

 I call these Entrapment questions. Have you ever wondered at what age these “Entrapment questions” start at? Well I can tell you it’s as young as 7! Yes 7! How do I know this? Well a number of months ago I had the wonderfully awkward privilege of being privy to an entrapment scenario between my seven-year-old son and his girlfriend. This is how that conversation went.

 Set scene: I am sat in the car driving home after my son and his girlfriend have finished their swimming lesson. Both are sat in the back chatting about school.

 Girlfriend “So Steven, tell me, who is your favourite girl in our class?”

 I’m sat in the front wishing that I had insisted my husband drive them to swimming. Just so you are aware reader with my kids you never know what is going to come out of their mouths. As I sit in anxious silence waiting for whatever bomb my creative son is about to drop I find that time seems to have slowed down. The silence is deafening and just when I am about to make one of those awkward parent jokes to break it he finally speaks.

 Steven “Well she has brown hair and her name is … (We’ll call her Delores)”

 Delores “Yes. That’s me so that’s good.”

 I can’t believe it! Fantastic! Great work son! I take a deep sigh and begin to relax…then

 Delores “Well can you stop calling me Lucy then please.”

 Seriously Steven! Wtf man! Well, that’s it then my son you are on your own, I can’t see you digging your way out of this one. I am totally one of those Mums that if one of my kids is doing the dirty on someone I will throw them under the bus. So there I am consumed in my own thoughts of preparing my “tough lesson” speech for later on and glad that I wasn’t a part of this awkward conversation when…

 Steven “Aw well, you know me I like to joke around. I’m a joker aren’t I Mummy?”

 What! Serious, what! My “tough lesson” speech flies out of my head and I am now sat smack damn in the middle of my pain in the arse son and his girlfriend’s “conversation.” The one I was intentionally staying out of. Geez what do you say? A big part of me was tempted to say “Joker! Steven, it is never cool to call your girlfriend by another girl’s name! People have been murdered for less!” But my Mum’s voice came into my head reminding me that that probably wasn’t a suitable response for seven year olds, so I went with “Yeh (insert awkward laugh) you’re a reeeeeal joker Steven. (insert another awkward laugh).”

When I was younger and daydreamed about parenthood I thought of all the different hilarious ways me and Chris could embarrass the kids. Things like us making up a “welcome to our home” rap which we would do whenever the kids brought friends round. We are not good rappers. My inspiration for that one is that scene in Bad Boys 2 when Martin Lawrence’s characters daughter goes on her first date. Anyway, it never occurred to me that my kids would be the ones putting me in awkward positions! Steven is the King of putting me and Chris in awkward conversations.

Years ago, he had this teacher who was a very large lady. One time when we picked Steven up from nursery me and Chris found ourselves in the middle of an awkward conversation with her.

 Teacher “Steven did well today…He also asked me why I am so fat.”

 Me and Chris both become very interested in the floor and walls.

 Chris “I better go and get Steven’s stuff together.”

 Are you fricking kidding me Chris! Off he walks while I try to explode his head with my mind. I am terrible with these kinds of situations. I never know the correct thing to say and end up making things worse or more awkward.

 By now the silence has gone on way too long and still I have no idea what I am supposed to say. The main issue I am struggling with at this point is that this woman is extraordinarily large and I am kind of interested to find out why she is so big, but you can’t ask! That’s a conversation rule, no super personal questions. This is another thing I am not good at judging. What constitutes a personal question? So, I go with…

 Me “Oh…right…”

 Teacher “I told him that I am fat because I eat lots of food.”

 Me “Oh…okay…right.”

 Oh, thank God that conversation is over. I am just about to change the subject when she says…

 Teacher “Steven then asked me why I ate so much food if it makes me fat.”

 I see Steven and Chris across the room and intensify and extend my efforts into trying to explode Steven’s head as well as Chris’s. How hard can this be! Come on brain!

 The teacher is looking at me as if I am having a stroke, my exploding efforts are obviously visible on my face. Quick! I must think of something to say. What would my Mum and Dad say? Shit, they would’ve run off and abandoned me like my soon to be ex-husband and then laugh at me being stuck.

 Me “oooookay…I am sorry?”

 The teacher’s demeanour relaxes. “That’s okay kids are kids and they are just curious. He did well today and had a good day.”

 She then walks off. Outside I look totally casual as I walk over to join Chris and Steven, meanwhile on the inside I am leaping for joy and yelling! “I did it! I held an adult conversation and didn’t muck it up! I am maturing, I am awesome!”

 One thing I learned from that was to never feel too safe in your kid’s behavior. This was not the only time that Steven has done this. There was also the time with the one-armed man, but that is a story for another day.

[lylakotamora]

The promise: part 4/4 final

(Kothar) Himself released within him. A barrier-breaking down a new step of opening. A new beginning of advancement. He’d never argue with a person so much such as the woman standing in front of him. He would often find himself being scolded often. He paused her in the first part of her ‘lecture’ “ Don’t scold me! And don’t you dare belittle me, woman!...”

 After this, he was finished with his yelling. “ I will tell you this I will not submit to you. And yet I feel like you already know this. Me being stubborn is just to mess with you. And every time you have a smartass comeback. The peanut gallery is not needed Lyla. You and everyone else here despises me for being a dragon! “ His voice and tone were all but serious the childishness of their actions being put aside. “ You and I live completely different lives. You think I can adapt to such thing so easily? I am a guest, though I constantly scorn like a child. If you think I had a wife, do you think I would have stayed here so long? Don’t you think I would have left this place in ruins without warning as soon as I got here? Simply because I would want to see my wife again? NO! I have stayed to see things through. To wake up to you in the bed was a shock to me. You have lived thousands of years, I have lived eons, soul to soul. I have taken care of my species as much as I can though they are all stubborn.” He sighed and kept quiet after listening to her speak of his father leaving her estate in ruins, her children passing and her living with the pain. He had noticed she took the consideration of her Island rather than herself. This was commendable. So much pain and suffering. Though with her words he wasn’t filled with sorrow, he could empathize without showing feelings of sadness. “Lyla…” A second voice spoke along with his like there were two beings inside of him.  His right hand lifted with gentleness, it moved towards her cheek and held it in the palm of his hand. His left hand did the same, allowing both thumbs to brush against her cheeks wiping her tears away. “ You are still mourning and you haven’t  even noticed.” The Unisons of his voice continued. The voice as one sounded sincere, though in a deep tone he smiled. “ This is no longer your burden to carry. It is ok. The way you care for your Empire is commendable, but you also have to understand that you still need to take care of yourself too. I know a lot more than you think.” He then laughs softly lifting his right hand at an angle to scratch the back of his head lightly in embarrassment. “ Even I have things to work on too. This so-called stubbornness.” He said his last sentence with a bit of sarcasm and a chuckle then his firm face returned to it’s sincere and serious expression. “ Why am I still here? I don’t know. Maybe this place doesn’t want me to go.” Then her glared towards the window. “ Though it seems you want me to.” He chuckled. “ But I will give you the option now. “ He looked down towards her, his gaze locking with hers. “ If you want me to leave tell me, and I will do so now without any harm to the island. And if not, I am here to stay till the day of my death, and even so, I will live on. In here.” With these words, he was nothing but serious. Yes, he was a stubborn dragon, but he was still a man of his word and he certainly doesn’t make promises he can’t keep. And both choices were promises. Now the choice is left up to her, what will she choose? He was curious. Maybe these touching moments will bring out a more… relaxed Lyla. And maybe, if so, arguments wouldn’t turn out so often. Maybe they would actually be able to joke around. Maybe it could turn the tide of how everyone on the island felt about dragons or just Kothar in general

( Lyla ) “ I am not, trying to belittle you!” She would sigh and look down at her boots as her hands fiddled with one another. Lyla paused for a moment before looking up at him. I can not bring myself to dominate over anyone, I am too submissive for that.” She couldn’t believe that she even told him that truth. She scoffed and looked away “ Why do you even want to mess with me? To make my life a tad more difficult?” Her tone was rough. Now it was her who was becoming scolded. “ You are a guest that is casting judgment whether or not my empire falls. Don’t act like I am or anyone is obligated to like you. Yet again you are wrong. We are the same age…Don’t act like you have experienced over me.” At this point Lyla and all that she was breaking down. As Lyla spoke her black eyes deepened, as the light was devoured when entered. After telling him the reason why he was being cast off. She felt his words pierced the wall of ice. Lyla closed her eyes and turned her head away not wanting to hear an apology. The touch of a warm hand caused her to jump and flinch. She slowly looked up at up feeling him whip her tears away. A crackled and broken voice left her lips “ Why are you doing this. You have no reason to be nice to me, as i have no reason either.” Those words were a lie, on her part. Lyla took a deep breath in and held it in her chest until the pain was unbearable. She looked up at him for a moment thinking. “ I've noticed, I can’t bear to eat more than what my body needs. I haven’t slept in years without the aid of alcohol. Even then the nightmares leave me restless. This morning was the only time I actually felt rested..” She paused and looked up at him “ How is it not my burden to carry. Eventually, i will forget and move on, like I've always done.” She pulled away and ran her hands down her face in a calming motion. With his words, she laughed a bit “ it’s your species you can’t help it... I think you do know why you are still here but don’t want to admit it. Your original plans were to come to my estate to give a warning and leave. But something at that moment changed your plans and you wanted to see where the river took you.” She met his gaze, turning back and crossing her arms. The air in her lungs became stuck as she choked a bit by his words. “ Wh…..why would you want to stay here. Your mission is to be a scout. Is it not? Or am I right about your plans changing…. If I wanted you gone you wouldn't be standing here. I am not a woman to pass judgment on to someone by the actions of others. But I couldn’t help but to be bothered. …. And will you put on a damn shirt! -she looked away as her eyes kept drawing to his chest. -

( Kothar ) Then again… so far it hadn’t turned out as he planned. Though it seems nothing goes according to plan. Typical. “ My plans are never plans to begin with… They are always...um… Improvised.” He chuckled as his eye looked up for a moment searching for his head for a good word. And improvise was the best thing he could come up with. Mentally he facepalmed himself. “ And yes, messing with you to make your job a ‘tad bit difficult.’ It’s amusing, you cannot say you have not done the same since my arrival.” The mood slowly started to become a bit less intense with pent-up frustration, like a child that can’t get their way. Kothar sighed once more. “ My point wasn’t age or experience. It was the difference between the lives that we have lived.” His right hand lifted for the bridge of his nose, rubbing it gently. “ Always so defensive, you seem more neutral than submissive… At least from my observations.” He shrugs. “ I can admit when I’m wrong if I want to get somewhere.” His eyes darted towards her in a slight playful glare. His face then returns to a rested state and his hand is removed from his face. “ You may be able to move on… but forgetting is a whole different story dear. It isn’t about moving on and forgetting it is about… what’s the word… accepting it.” He contemplated on the word being accept. It was a simple turn and hopefully his words would actually reach her ears. Though if she had another comeback to his words, he would probably walk right out the door. The right words were everything at this point. “ I have my own reasons for being nice. And i'm sure you do as well.” His eyes closed and turned having his back face her with his arms crossing. “ I am only staying here, because I have found you...attractive in a sense.” The truth was out, with a tad bit of sugar coating it. This point in time wasn’t a proper time to pour his heart out. He turned back around looking down at her. “ I can’t find a shirt that fits! Will you stop staring at my chest..” He glared in a playful sense. “ I wonder if you can truly admit why you still have me here? As you said, I would not be standing here if you did not wish me to be here. So what is your reason? Since you didn’t answer my question fully or directly.” He scoffed within his head. ‘This woman.’ Along with his head were certain thoughts. A… future, per say. Within a few moments this could be the end of a Empire or the building of a stronger one. (F)

( Lyla ) The woman sighed as she listened to him. Her face grew red as he commented on the statement she hoped he didn't pay any attention to. “ Erm.. i am submissive to a select few, in certain situations. And I am defensive for the same reasons i told you.” It’s been a long while since she had talked to anyone about what had happened all those years ago. She didn’t really know why she was telling him anything. No one on the Island had the balls to talk to Lyla they way he was. She was pent up with a lot of things, Emotion, loneliness and sexually. Their conversation was relieving the pressure. She took his words to heart but didn't show it, she remained quiet not really wanting to admit defeat. She didn’t really have an answer for his questions. Why is she allowing him to stay. Why is she even talking to him about this. Why is this even being a thing? These questions roamed her mind for some time as she stared at his  large body studying certain details of it. It's been many years since Lyla had been honest with anyone, let alone herself. Her thoughts were interrupted by his confession.” Eh….” She looked up at him confused. This is the worse her physical state has ever been in the last millennium. Lyla turned away so he would not see her being flattered with pigment. Her words and actions had to be calculated. In the thought of what to do or say, his voice broke the silence. “ what do you mean you CAN’T FIND A SHIRT?!? You had no issue conjuring up on in the middle of my court when you showed up NAKED! ..- With that being said the image of his naughty bits entered her thoughts, still freshly burned into her mind. Within that moment a bead of blood fell from her nose. “ I can’t unsee your parts…. You… You…. - The sound of a knock and entering of a maid brought Lylas embarrassing rage to a holt. The maid Milley had entered from a servant's door. “ Sorry if i am interrupting, i had thought you were in here alone. I had brought the suit you requested to be made for the dragon. “ At the moment the maid said those words all of her playing cards were deleted. She had nothing to use against him, there was no poker face, no lying, and no games. The true nature of her feelings was shown by this gesture. “ Ehk…. haha... “ She laughed awkwardly towards Kothar. Lyla took the clothes and mouthed a few words as they glowed for a single second. Lyla lifted the clothes up while looking away.. Speaking as if she was defeated. “ I had the fashion vision, my maids simply put them together after taking your measurements… I wanted to give you something… I.. I enchanted them with the same spell all my clothes have, they are fire, heat, and transformation proof. When you ‘grow’ out of them they will dissipate and appear in your room until summoned. ..Think of it as a peace offering… “ Even though it was more done out of her feelings for  the male. Lyla looked up at him.

(Kothar) There was simply no other reason to argue with her anymore because there was nothing left to argue. It had seemed as though she had opened up a new door just like he had. Kothar did his best to show his true compassionate self. Though a factor of trust still stood between them now. How would he trust her words. His eyes scanned her facial features. To his hues they seemed nothing short than fake. This is the moment when trust was formed. Looking deeper into her eyes, he noticed something was hidden within her, this cause him to chuckle softly as it was something that didn’t give off a bad vibe. The mood of the room had completely been rid of it’s tension. The feeling was indeed calm. The lighting of the room began to flicker gently as the sun was now reaching pass it’s half-point, deeming the time to be in the afternoon. His eyes searched the windows. Kothar had a feeling they have been in the throne room most of the day, and it seemed his speculations were true.  As time continued not to cease, they began to joke around. “ I’m sorry ok!?! I don’t have anything that can prevent that.” He crossed his arms, I guess you can say in a pouting manner reimagining his entrance. Before he didn’t seemed embarrassed about the situation since it seemed to happen often, but now suddenly he was. Then the image of her voluptuous body of this morning popped within his mind, thus causing him to blush. A nosebleed began, quickly he used his left hand to cover his nose while his right pointed at her. “ I can’t unsee your parts either!! And it’s not my fault you have no shirts of my size!” As this was said, there was a knock at the door. A maid. She was holding clothing. ‘ Look at that, clothing’ His thoughts exactly, having a slight squirrel moment. He felt as if his thoughts prayers were answered. When the maid had brought in the clothing it had been neatly folded. The FABRIC claimed no distinct scent to it, yearning for one to claim. Though from his tall perspective he was only able to see the top portion of the cloth. The colors f purple and silver, silver being the accent of the cloth, purple being the base color. The edge of a heavy blackish color laid underneath the top half. He assumed it was the lower half of the fabric. And thus it was. The maid gave Lyla the fabric that was the full arm length of the maid. The next thing his eyes focused upon was Lyla, she had held the clothing up to him. His eyes slightly widen, in shock. All of this arguing he figured she would never do something as kind as this. “ For me? B-But why…? How did they…” Then it hit him when the maid took his measurements. “ Ah… In the hallway..” He chuckled thinking back in the moment. Kothar nodded and accepted the gift his hand gently taking the fabric from her grasp and into his. “ Thank you, Lyla. I appreciate this.” In the back of his head - ‘Fuck...Now what am I supposed to get her. Am I supposed to give her something back? Damn… I got nothing… Ah! I got something...But it’ll take awhile to conjure up’- And so he began to undress, right then and there. First, well the only thing that had to leave his body were his pants. He quickly lifted his right leg tugging his pant leg off then the other, whilst balancing the fabric in his left. Then a switch. As his pants were tossed  they aimed towards Lyla’s eyes. Reason being he didn’t want him to hear her scold him too much. With that he quickly put on the fabric before she could take the pants off of her eyes.  “Ah… Much better.” His right hand’s index  finger and thumb pinched the cloth slightly stretching it lightly, “ Very comfortable.” His stomach grumbled. He hadn’t eaten anything since the morning and even so it was mere cookies. Not very filling. “ Do you think your cook has prepared dinner or anything? “ He closed his eyes as his hands held his stomach in the pain of hunger. (F)

( Selacity) After mounting the horse the female would move past the confused guard she released from her control and made her way out into the fields recklessly. “Oh my word-oof” a gardener would fall to her side as she would frantically move of the way of the running horse. As did others after her a path of angered and hurt workers would cause a ruckus as they were forced to move out the way-cursing the rider and the horse. Shiva’s lips would spread into a cat-like grin as she held onto the reins of the horse loosely closing her eyes giving the horse the freedom it so wished. Her hood would begin to fall back unveiling her hair which would flow out behind her, spilling out her falling hood in wispy waves of ember. Her hair was as red as like flames along a warm fireplace, licking along the passing wind the horse left in their wake. Opening her eyes she would lean in closer to the horse’s neck, allowing it to run free as it jumped over hedges, spilling pots and pulling out plants. She would whisper lightly turning the reins as the horse would follow heading straight towards the entrance of the castle. The horse was a rather fast one-and-a good pick for her she noted as it would pick up, even more, speed and dash out through the unguarded gates. She would laugh-a musical sound as the Auburn horse would whinny down the road as they would prepare for the hours to come till they reaches the Aria. Turning into the courtyard as the sun has moved quite a way after her 6 hour ride Shiva prepared to pack her thinks knowing how upset she most likely would be-regardless of her respect for her. Shiva was never one to stay tied down….she would soon have to leave the female though glad for the opportunities she had and learned there. She needed to find a stable job she suppose, one she wouldn’t have to be as talkative and social in she suppose. As she reached her door and slipped inside she moved about walking past the other maids who would scowl towards her…she had a rather privileged life when she came compared to the others, but she worked just as hard as them if not more at her job. Scowling she turned her gaze to one of them who would jolt turning her own eyes to another-flustered. She chuckled at the females and turned her head in a disapproving nod whispering aloud in a cold stoic tone “Pathetic little worm...”. Moving into her room she smiled towards her mate and closed the door to the gaping female outside the door, her smile was cool as she would see Tia’s face...Anger was not there-surprisingly she was fine and cool as she seemed to have a letter for her. “You were hired by one of the Empress’s head butlers, you are to prepare for it and know your contract is now with them. Any other complaints would go to them” she would say coolly though she would hesitate slightly. Shiva suppose she had just set herself up for it but she didn’t mind as much as she just simply bowed in thanks “It was a pleasure working for you Tia- I will let myself out” she said as Tia would move around her desk moving towards her. Shiva knew of her depts. to other traders-but she did not blame her-plus it made leaving so much more easier.

( Lyla ) Lyla caught him staring at her, She rose a brow and looked way before pulling a strand of hair behind her ears. After dismissing the maid and handing the garments to Kothar she watched his face light up. A soft chuckle left her lips “ you look like a child getting a present.” She wasn’t making fun of him, simply admiring his cuteness. Lyla took a step back wanting to give him space to inspect the clothes. “ I figured that i would only want you to become naked by my doings… Erm I mean …. I wouldn't want you to scare the maids with your large.. “ Lyla shook her head as she was stumbling over her words. “ The maids would have a heart attack by your perfect body, if you would randomly lose your clothes in front of them” That was the best thing that could've came from her lips. At this time of her rambling she had looked up to see him undressing. “ Ehk! ...Are you seriously getting naked again?” The moment she started to raise her voice his pants was thrown on her face, covering her vision. Kothar’s scent was thrust upon her nose. It smelt surprisingly alluring. She peeked under the pant leg and got another glimpse of his parts. *cough, cough* She choked on her air. Lyla turned around while she pressed his pants over her nose and mouth. Soaking up the bloody nose, but his scent was no fixing her problem. She checked to see if he was done. Seeing that he was having issues with his large hands trying to button it up, she walked over to him. Invading his space and pressing her warm hands against him, to button it up. As she worked her way up she locked eyes with him. … “ there we are….” She stayed put while looking up at him as her bun was coming undone. “ As for dinner i've made a special request for dinner. It's the largest dinner that my staff has prepared in a long time so i hope that they have gotten it done. Turning red again Lyla grabbed the man's wrist and led him out of the throne room. As they walked no words was said but she remain hold on his arm. From there they entered the dining rooms doors. She opened them the doors as a long table was seen. With a whole butchered cow. It was presented like a whole hog, but in its mouth was ahead of a human baby. With sides of the freshest vegetables, potatoes, fish, and a stock of wine... There was only two plates setted. One at the head of the table and the other left of it. “ since there is only two, we will be dining alone. I hope you do not mind.” She walked and placed herself at the left of the table, pouring some wine for herself. Lyla reached up and released a pin in her hair causing it to fall to full length. It was coming undone anyways so why fight it.  

His stomach grumbled once more. Then a brow raised, “ Like a child?” He chuckled. “ I am just grateful for such a gift. I truly am.” A smile brightened up his bold facial features as he looked towards her. His massive hands struggled to finish up buttoning the shirt. “ Dammit, these hands.” After a moment of struggling he heard footsteps that led to him then warm hands pressed against his chest. Her hands were so warm, this made butterflies twinkle around in his stomach and his heart race rapidly. He hoped she didn’t feel this. He was afraid that his stomach growls wouldn’t reach her ears. It seemed like they have, then she announced that there was food already being prepped. “ That sounds wonderful.” In the back of his mind- ‘ I think I finally made up my mind on what to give her as a present.’ He smiled then eyes widen as she takes his hand/arm leading him towards the kitchen. A blush filled his cheeks. A sudden nervousness rushed over him. What a feeling… Why am I feeling this way? These thoughts were just concrete evidence of why he should give her the gift he was about to give her. He had made up his mind, whether rejected or not. As they walked there were no words exchanged, only racing thoughts on his part. Then they had finally arrived in the dining area. It was rather large and nicely decorated with pictures and sorted antiques. He noticed there were only two plates, and at the moment of his noticement she had spoken. A smile was given by Kothar.  “Of course, I wouldn’t want it any other way, dear.” He chuckled with a smile. She had sat to the left of the table. Kothar was surprised that she didn’t sit at the head of the table. He assumed she meant for this. But before she seated herself he pulled out her seat standing behind it. And as she sat he pushed the chair towards the table. Then he took his seat at the end of the table. This when the aroma of the food had hit him. Everything looked delicious. Before he began eating he poured himself some wine and took a sip diligently. Then he began eating. First, he had his fixings of vegetables. From potatoes to vegetable to fish. The last thing he was to dig into was the butchered cow. Before each of his fixings, he served Lyla first, out of gratitude. The sun was beginning to set at this time, after a while, they conversated and had wonderful laughs and began to connect with one another more. Understanding one another. Finishing his 9th glass of wine he was still far from intoxicated due to his massive size. Kothar’s bright purple eyes locked with hers and smiled, his right hand reaching to grab her hand to hold in his and so it did. Then he began to speak. “ Lyla. I am glad that we are able to connect better. I think today has brought us much closer. And I have figured I would return the favor of a gift.” Within his hand held a ring, The ring was that of black dragon steel that was a perfect fit for her ring finger. Embedded upon the steel protruding from its center was a crystal. Before he had slipped it upon her finger it was that of a purple color, and once he slipped it on, it had filled with a bright blue which began to swirl around the purple playfully and happily. “ Lyla Lillian Lilith Grace Kotamora..” He had remembered her full name. “ This is my peace offering to you. A marriage, if you do accept.” He brings his her hand to his kissing it gently. Kothar had never proposed before, so he wasn’t sure of how things went. But he could only hope that she would accept.

( Lyla ) It had become a long day. From waking up to a strange dragon in her bed. Embarrassing herself many times over, Breaking down twice and fighting feelings back. Now they were talking and enjoying themselves. “ Don’t let me drink too much or I might end up in your bed again.” She laughed as she was finishing her second glass. She smiled as Kothar filled her plate for her. Lyla was silently eating while he was filling his appetite. “ I hope everything is to your liking.” There was a staff of five in the dining room, ready to take orders. The chef, two waiters, and two butlers. They all faded into the background easily. Lyla and Kothar had been talking for a good few hours now “ I agree, it is nice. Altho I enjoyed the intensity of our squabbles.” She laughed lightly before pressing the wine glass to her lips. She felt his large hand grasp hers, she looked at him curiously. She smiled “ you didn’t have to give me anything. Like I said the clothes were so no one else gets to see your perfect cock”. -she laughed as the alcohol was numbing her filter. Seeing the ring that he pulled out she almost spat out her wine. “ that is so pretty…”  She watched as he placed it on her finger. “ thank you .. “ She said before getting cut her off. Her full attention was on Kothar as he spoke her full name. She froze as he spoke… ‘Is this happening, why is this happening, what are you going to say, don’t just stare at him.’ Her thoughts exactly. “ Eh… “ Her heart was pounding out of her chest as it felt like the butterflies was about to take off her heart. Before she wanted to give him an answer, she had questions. “ Why do you want to marry me, we met yesterday.. “ Even tho at their age time was not a concept. She stood up and walked away leaving the room for a moment. She came back with a silver knife and cut her thumb.As crimson blood dripped down she placed a bead on his lips. If it did not scold him, poison him, corrode his skin, or make him ill she would accept. “ How is my blood “ This would show whether they were physically compatible. Lyla didn’t to be the death of him, or not be able to bare children. “ If it doesn't Kill you my question is yes. “ Lyla’s hand landed on his cheek as she looked down at him.

“Why? The answer is complicated, but I will put it in simpler terms. Though we just met Lyla, ever since I laid my eyes on you. I...felt a connection between us. I know you felt it as well. Though…” He scratched the back of his head slightly embarrassed as his cheeks began to flush. “ I wish… it wasn’t of me naked.” He chuckled. “ The connection was still there. Even when we argue about idiotic subjects…It still remains. One of us is bound to blush. And even so, beheading one of your men was me getting frustrated about someone disrespecting you. For other’s I could care less. Like I had said before beauties must be preserved and you, Lyla, want to preserve you for me, for you, for us and our future. Me becoming Emperor here means nothing to me if I cannot be by your side.” As he finished he noticed Lyla walk away. ‘Where is she going?’ He thought. ‘Did I upset her? Was this too much?’ He slammed his hand upon the table very lightly. ‘Damn’ Then Lyla came back. With a silver knife in her hand, cutting her thumb allowing the Crimson to run over the bead. A strange sight to see. His head cocked to the side slightly, then the bead was placed upon his lips. “Wha…” His words were cut off as she answered his question without him fully asking it. He simply nodded in response. “ Your blood… tastes… extravagant.” He smacked his lips slightly, savoring the taste. And this was nothing but the truth. Though it was amazement how her blood tasted to him something he did not expect. A few moments have passed. Ten minutes, maybe even thirty minutes passed without anything else being said. He had no fears nor regrets of his words. The bead had no effect on him, no burning or increasing illness. And thus gave him his answer. Well, he didn’t allow her to say anything since he knew he had passed this test. He stood up from his seat, walking behind her, leaning down and sweeping her off her feet. The bead had gently bounced off of his lips, her blood staining her lips. As he picked her up he continued on out of the room of dining and proceeded towards her room. Within the hallway, he leaned towards her face allowing his lips to press against hers. They kissed until they reached her room, where they would undress. Afterwards, he would gently toss her into the bed, moving blankets and covering them up. Continuing to kiss the night away.

[smkkbert]

Time for a story - New normal

“Everything good.”

“But, Dr. Tommy, I feel sick.”

“You need meds.”

“Oh yes, two reds and one green.”

“I’m the doctor, Emmy.”

“Sorry. What meds do I need, Dr. Tommy?”

“Hm… Two reds and one green.”

Felicity smiled when Tommy lifted the little clipboard they had bought him and wrote down a few notes in Emmy’s clinical record. He looked at his scrawl proudly before he put the clipboard away and walked over to the small couch table where Laurel was sitting and working on her laptop. When Tommy reached out his hands for the jelly beans, she looked up at him and puckered her lips, though.

“Hey, you two, those are going to be the last jelly beans for now,” she said gently. “Mommy is going to scold me if she finds out I have been letting you eat so many of them.”

“No, mommy won’t mind.”

“Mommy won’t mind?” Felicity repeated her daughter’s words.

Emmy gasped for breath. She turned onto her side to look at her mother, smiling at her mischievously at being caught to get even more sweets after she had already been told that it were enough for now. “Mommy, you’re here.”

“Yeah, mommy is here,” Felicity replied with a chuckle. “Aunt Laurel is right by the way. Each of you can eat two more and then that’s enough for today. You don’t like the dinner if you continue like that.”

Felicity watched Tommy picking the jelly beans for him and his older sister before he walked back to his patient to give her the meds. Since the little boy had gotten his first doctor’s kit a few weeks ago, he was playing doctors all day and everyone in the family had to act as a patient, fortunately several times each day. It kind of accommodated Felicity because with the depression lying in bed or on the couch and more or less pretending to be sick made it easy for her to join in. Lying down and resting was what Felicity liked to do anyway.

Turning away from Emmy and Tommy, she walked to Millie, who was lying on a blanket under her baby gym and played with the toys that were attached to it. Felicity wondered how much more difficult things would be if Tommy and Emmy had been born closer together or even Tommy and Millie. The youngest of her children was the easiest to take care of, always content and easy to satisfy. With Tommy or Emmy being so young when there was another baby on the way, it would have been an even worse nightmare. Felicity lifted the baby into her arms and kissed her rosy cheek a few times, making the baby squeal happily.

“Feel better?” Laurel asked, shutting down her laptop.

“Yes, much better. My headache ceased,” Felicity explained, sitting down in one of the armchairs with Millie in her lap. The six-month-old snuggled herself to her mother’s chest and Felicity’s kissed the crown of her baby’s head. She rested her cheek against Millie’s head with a sigh and looked at Laurel, who was smiling at the two of them softly.

Laurel had been here every day of the last five days. She had gotten here around the time Oliver had left to head to QI and had left around the time he had come back. Felicity was grateful for the help. She wasn’t really herself lately and having someone here to help her with the kids and making sure she had enough time to rest was great. Besides, the kids loved having her Aunt Laurel here every day. Having someone else than their parents taking care of them was always fun for the kids given that everyone else tended to spoil them a lot more than their parents did and Oliver and Felicity already considered themselves the kind of parents that spoiled their kids a lot.

“You seem to have everything under control with the kids,” Felicity stated, looking first at Millie and then at Emmy and Tommy. Three kids were a lot to take care of, especially for one person.

“That’s only because they make it so easy,” Laurel replied. “They are the sweetest. Oliver and you have really done a great job with them. Emmy and Tommy even helped me doing the dishes after lunch. Nobody could have convinced Sara and me to do the dishes when we were their age.”

Felicity didn’t miss the pain in her friend’s eyes. It had been eight year since Sara had died, but that didn’t mean that Laurel or anybody else missed her any less. Her sudden death had left all of them traumatized back then and those wounds had never truly healed. Her death had come too sudden and it had ripped a hole in all of their lives that had never been truly filled after and if even Felicity was feeling that way, she knew that it had to be a million times worse for Laurel. Felicity had known Sara for barely a year, while Laurel had known her all her life.

“I am sorry, Laurel,” Felicity whispered, reaching out her hand for her friend.

When she took Felicity’s hand and squeezed her fingers in silent gratitude, she said, “It could have been much worse. At least I got a new sister. It just doesn’t mean I don’t miss Sara anymore because I still do.”

Felicity nodded. She understood what Laurel meant thought she doubted that she understood the depth of her words. She had never lost a sister. She had only gained two in Thea and Laurel. The two women sat in quiet for a moment longer, just holding each other’s hand and comforting each other about the loss of a sister both of them missed even if one had never had her.

Eventually Laurel smiled at Felicity and pulled her hand back, asking, “How are you feeling today? Not just the headache, I mean in general.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “It’s the same feeling as always which is a lot of emptiness with some short moments of either sorrow or joy and I know that this sounds like some terrible cliché, but it’s true nonetheless.”

Laurel nodded slowly, just watching Felicity quietly without saying a word. Eventually Felicity turned her eyes away from Laurel and looked at Millie, who seemed to enjoy the cuddle time with her mommy a lot. Felicity stroked through her daughter’s short hair and kissed the crown of her head.

She hated feeling like this. She had hated it when she had been pregnant with Tommy already. In a way it had been much easier back then because all she had had to do back then was to pretend to be fine for Emmy. Now there were three little human beings needing her to be fine. It was probably three times as exhausting, maybe even more.

It was exactly why she had had so many struggles with trying to figure out if she wanted a third baby after Tommy. She had been too scared that the depression would come back and she’d be unable to still make things work enough for her family. She hadn’t wanted to put Emmy and Tommy through a situation where their mother wasn’t herself anymore only to have one more child. She had been lucky with her pregnancy with Millie, but it seemed like she was a lot less lucky with this forth, unexpected pregnancy.

“It just feels like I am being punished for something, but I don’t know what it is,” Felicity mumbled to herself.

“Punished with the pregnancy?” Laurel asked quietly, shooing a quick look at Emmy and Tommy to make sure they hadn’t heard her.

Oliver and Felicity had decided not to tell the kids. Most of their friends knew that she was pregnant given the pregnancy parties she, Laurel, Thea and Lyla had done together. She and Oliver had decided to wait telling the kids until the thirteenth week at least, though. Too much could happen until then. At the terrifying thought of anything happening to the baby Felicity lowered her face to her lower stomach, looking at Laurel.

“No,” she said firmly, shaking her head, “not with the pregnancy, just with feeling like this. It’s just not fair. Oliver and I try to be good people and we try to do everything right and yet this is what we get for it.”

Laurel hesitated before she explained, “I often hear that during the AA meetings. There are people there who did everything right. They were good people, often doing charity and just trying to be good in general. Then something happened in their life, something bad that they certainly didn’t deserve and it just went down from there. It’s like a spiral they feel they can’t get out of until they finally start fighting. It’s not fair, but unfortunately it’s life.”

Felicity nodded. “Yes, that makes a lot of sense. It’s not fair, but it makes sense.”

Life just wasn’t fair. Felicity should know that. She lived with a man who had been through more than anyone deserved and most of her friends had been through more than they deserved. She had been through more than she deserved with her father and now with this. It wasn’t fair, but it did make sense.

Sighing quietly, Felicity leaned back and closed her eyes. She tightened her arms around Millie’s little body, cradling her daughter closer to her chest. In life there were ups and downs. She knew that. Her life hadn’t always been perfect before this pregnancy, either. She had been through some downs, but with time she had always managed to fight through it until she was on her way up again.

It just took time, so Felicity wouldn’t push it. She would wait until things got better and she could go back to what used to be her normal life.

----->

“Oh, Millie, I think daddy is coming home,” Felicity said when she heard the key turning in the lock. “I am sure daddy is up for a good cuddle, too.”

Thanks to Oliver’s super-senses he always knew exactly where they were and always found them. Today was no difference, so it only took a couple of seconds before Felicity saw him stepping coming closer. His hair was tousled, his face showing exhaustion. He smiled at them nonetheless when he leaned into the door frame and watched the two of them.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Hi,” Felicity replied, smiling back at him softly. “How was work?”

“Terrible,” he replied with a chuckle. “Everyone misses you and I am sure that I heard more than one person mumble that they want me to magically disappear.”

“I am sure you are doing great.”

“I’d say I am doing okay, but they are spoilt because they had the best boss ever,” Oliver told her. Sighing, he leaned his head against the doorframe. “How are you feeling?”

“Now that you are home?” Felicity asked. ��A lot better.”

Not saying a word, they both smiled tiredly at each other. Despite what was going on with her, things between her and Oliver were still going well. They were both worried and scared, but they talked about it honestly and leaned on each other and that was why their marriage didn’t seem to be as much affected by her depression as the last time. Maybe it was also because they knew what was going on with her this time and Felicity didn’t feel this constant anger as she had a few years ago. She was more tired and felt exhausted more easily, but she didn’t feel like her emotions were one terrible mess.

Still not saying a word, Felicity held out her hand for Oliver. He stepped closer and took it, bending down to kiss Felicity’s lips gently before he kissed the crown of Millie’s head.

“Are you two enjoying a good cuddle?” he asked.

“We are,” Felicity replied. “And we wondered if you would like to come here and cuddle with us.”

“Oh, daddy would love to.”

Oliver slipped out of his shoes and was about to lift Felicity’s upper body from the couch, but she quickly put Millie into his arms and made him lie down on top of her with his back pressed to her chest and his head resting against her shoulder. Oliver stretched out his legs, the lower part dangling over the armrest, and he sighed deeply.

Felicity pushed the lapels of his suit jacket apart and started pulling the fabrics down his arms. Oliver helped her and slipped out of the sleeves. Felicity dropped the piece of clothing to the floor carelessly and loosened Oliver’s tie before taking it off and letting it follow. Then she made quick work of the three topmost buttons of his shirt and moved her fingers over his naked chest. Oliver released a sound that almost sounded like the purring of a cat. He leaned his head back a little more, and turned his face against the side of her neck to rub his stubble against her tender skin.

“You know, this is what I wanted to do for you tonight,” Oliver told her.

“What? Snuggle up to me and touching my boobs?” Felicity asked, scratching her nails over his nipples gently. She moved her fingers away from his breast and up to his shoulders, massaging the tight knots there. “I would have killed you if you had tried.”

“Still sensitive?” Oliver asked.

“Terribly sensitive.”

“Should we call Dr. Hampton and-“

Felicity shook her head and kissed Oliver’s temple to calm him down. “No, I am fine. It’s just the normal pregnancy soreness.”

“You’re sure?” Oliver asked, putting a hand to the outside of her thigh and rubbing up and down gently.

“Very sure,” Felicity assured him, nodding her head. “It’s not that bad. It’s just terribly annoying and a little bit painful but not that bad.”

“Okay.”

Oliver relaxed back against her once more and closed his eyes. Felicity went back to massaging his shoulders. Millie meanwhile supported her body by propping herself up onto her forearms on Oliver’s chest. She smiled at her daddy happily, making both of her parents smile, too.

“So what did you want to do for me?” Felicity asked eventually.

“Help you relax, maybe massage your shoulders,” Oliver replied. He turned his head and kissed Felicity’s hand.

Felicity chuckled. “I am not doing much that would justify that my hard-working husband should massage my shoulders when he comes home from a long day at work.”

“Hey, you are an amazing mom and you are carrying our baby. That’s a hell of a lot of work in my eyes,” Oliver explained. Then he looked around with a frown. “Speaking of babies, where are Emmy and Tommy?”

“Laurel took them to the supermarket to get new detergent. We ran out of it and Millie might have slobbered on each of her shirts, so we definitely need to do a laundry day tomorrow.”

“I could have headed to the supermarket before coming home.”

Felicity didn’t reply. She remembered very well that her depression or rather the rough times it had caused between her and Oliver had started the evening he had forgotten about the detergent she had asked him to buy. She had had the phone almost in her hand when she had remembered this a few hours ago and that was why she had decided that maybe it was better not to call him.

“I think Emmy and Tommy didn’t mind the little shopping tour,” she explained. “They should be back any mo-“

As if on cue she heard the key turning in the lock of the front door. A second later she heard the door being opened and two pairs of feet running closer.

“Daddy!” Emmy exclaimed excitedly.

Without any hesitation she ran to the couch and crawled on top of her parents. Felicity could feel Oliver’s chest rising just a little bit from hers, holding itself up with the strength of his abs to keep his and their daughter’s weight away from her. Carefully avoiding to squash her little sister, Emmy snuggled to Oliver’s side and put her hand over Oliver’s on Millie’s back.

“I want cuddle, too,” Tommy said from the door.

“Then come here, Buddy,” Felicity suggested, gesturing for her son to come closer.

Tommy did as his mother told him. He crawled onto the couch and snuggled up to his family. His face came to rest on his baby sister’s cheek. He sighed contently.

“A family moment at its finest,” Oliver said with a smile.

“Which sounds like my cue to leave.” Oliver and Felicity both looked up at Laurel, who stood in the frame of the door and looked at them with a smile. “I put the detergent in the washing room. We see each other tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Laurel,” Oliver and Felicity said in chorus.

“Thanks, Aunt Laurel,” Emmy and Tommy said in chorus, too.

They all chuckled and even Millie, who probably didn’t even know what they were laughing about, released a happy squeal. Felicity leaned her head against Oliver’s and tried to memorize this moment, just in case she needed it to get herself through a harder time later on.

Two new chapters will be posted next week! 

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