#AND GUESS WHAT I NEED TO REALIGN MY VALUES

[outsidereveries]

what's next? | scandals: 2025

welcome to the “what’s next” - a sub-series of honey buzz. i don’t plan to do this every year, but with this pluto in aquarius.. and the other planets… i decided to see what could happen, out of pure curiosity. since I expect to be asked about everything possible in 2025 at any moment, from now on I’m saying that i don’t accept doing such things, since this requires time. i can ask a follow-up about something i mentioned, but up to there.

biggest topic the devil, the hermit, ace of cups, 6 of pentacles, king of cups

the scandal here is rather political, so.. well, the eu countries and the union itself are shaking? many scandals regarding the eu countries and the union, i can’t pick specific energy in that matter but it’s a mess..

—clarification 7 of cups, 8 of wands, judgement, 5 of pentacles, the high priestess

guess who’s not changing their currency? bulgaria! … why that’s big topic i don’t have fucking clue… or, or, wait… guess what will not happen? the digital euro! one of these 2 options. 100%. i’m betting on the first one ✨

—clarification 3 of wands, 9 of cups, the hanged man, the moon, 2 of wands

so, another wild clarification here.. whose european (in EP) party is, well, disbanding? i’m certain it’s not esn, this party seem to be.. experienced

—clarification 5 of cups rx, 6 of wands, page of cups, 4 of pentacles, queen of swords rx

i'm not sure if it's for a specific country or for most of the eu, but a lot of politicians will be exposed regarding their true political orientation. this looks a bit like the situation in bulgaria, where the right-wingers are actually left-wingers, the left-wingers are in the center, it's just that this confusion will clear up and it's possible that many parties will unite, but i don't see whether it's in the entire eu or in a specific country.

main topic but not the biggest king of wands rx, the fool, knight of wands rx, 5 of pentacles, 7 of cups rx

the p.diddy scandal seems to continue in 2025 too.. and finished too.. guess who will be in jail...

local topic/s 9 of pentacles rx, page of swords rx, 5 of swords, 10 of wands rx, 7 of swords rx, king of wands, ace of wands rx, 6 of cups

seeing what is happening in india/pakistan, the advantage is in india - army, drones and whatnot. however, what worries me is that the land in question (kashmir, as far as i understand), which they have been arguing about for decades, seems to be in pakistan, because according to my reading here, the rulers of pakistan have no choice but to fight for something that is actually theirs without having the necessary resources. the conflict seems to remain for at least a few more weeks.

irrelevant scandal/s 9 of cups, 3 of wands, 2 of wands rx, 8 of pentacles, 6 of swords

there is a subtle difference between k-pop in korea and k-pop in western countries (usa). the problem is that just when the west needs k-pop idols, that's when they will evaporate and prefer their own country. just when the companies in the industry want the west to notice them and finally succeed, they will have to make the choice to focus on korea. there is a realignment of values ​​and morals. it is irrelevant because "there are bigger problems than k-pop".

29.04.2025 | sorry for being short :(

[kickthecanrevolution]

Random Monday morning thoughts

Anxiety dreams of a 2pm flight to China and it was ten past noon on my old fashioned wall clock - I still hadn’t called a Lyft and was running around trying to find a warm jacket to pack. I haven’t had one of those dreams in awhile.

Work wise, I feel like I’m at a party at the end of the evening and I’ve decided/told the host I’m leaving - now I’m just at the door, waiting for my friends I came with to say their goodbyes. The party is over and I’m calm because I know I’m leaving, I’m not there anymore.

I’m quieter in this election year - it’s mostly a deep interior re-wiring of my beliefs. The Palestinian genocide is not something I can speak of, horror that doesn’t have a language for me. You know something’s evil when they target kids. That the USA will not push for a ceasefire has left me upside down on who we are, what I align to politically and where I live. I’m reading a lot about the world stage, the macro-danger across Western Allies vs our stated enemies and see how close we are to a WW3. How the USA is a protector in so many ways I didn’t understand, the US Navy protecting the cargo ships moving across the world, etc. a protector of basic capitalism, I guess, but as we do that less due to withdrawal of military funding, pirates popped up 27x more in those areas. I saw it keenly in my international travel - the role we play on the world stage, seeing the US as a “protector” through other’s eyes. Those same people are terrified as we buddy up to Russia via Tucker Carlson, etc., only because of what it means for their basic safety. They don’t care that the US seems to be rotted at our core. I get it.

One perspective says we need a War to start over in the USA but war has never adjusted or dismantled underlying systems like capitalism, it’s just fueled it. Ultimately, the USA will use force in wartime, even on its own people. That will be a decision on what we want to die for. Another side says a war will cause the USA to do anything necessary to protect systems in place because we need them to win.

So what force will change the legal system? What catalyst? Is it organizing? That absolutely worked in the Civil Rights movement, but there had to be more catalysts than just that - what were they? What forced America to change? What kind of catalyst combinations are needed to change these foundational, old systems? 200 years isn’t old-old. Is it spiritual? My intuition is the visceral tribalism that human beings operate within for our identity and how we move through life and how that is expressed in American power systems - white, Zionist, Christian, Southern, Liberal, etc. is what we’ll need to let go of first, and that’s so much harder. Many of us are lost as human beings without those tribes, and letting go of that identity can be terrifying and destabilizing. And people will never do it unless they believe in the human experience we’ll have here when they do. Oddly, a World War were the only moments we set those aside temporarily because we had a common enemy greater than ourselves.

So how do we collectively/personally envision that outside of being in a war on our domestic land? Enough to let go of our current understanding of who they are? A world where Black people aren’t incarcerated at disproportional rates. Where kids in Gaza aren’t slaughtered. Where it’s national pride that every citizen has basic needs met, a universal income and living wage. How do we realign on the values of what makes a society truly great?

A World War feels probable so the politics on the US Stage seem almost inconsequential until I heard Trump say he’d encourage Putin to go after an ally. That made my blood run cold. Ultimately I come back to my progressive roots, that the government should prioritize the vulnerable, and that’s not me - I’m white, I have retirement funds and I am not going to get pregnant. There’s comfort in a few of those ideals still showing up in the larger Democratic Party when nothing else about being a Democrat feels true anymore. Maybe it never was. It’s enough for me to vote on, at least right now, but it’s lacking any real change. I see that now, that this basic organization of political party is now identity, which makes it even uglier, less impactful and a vehicle for toxicity vs real change.

It’s like the party is over, and we’re all just waiting.

[noisytenant]

personal musing

on a few occasions people have told me "it's not weak or wrong to ask for help". oftentimes it was less a reassurance and more a frustrated assertion, so that better contextualizes things, but man.

it frustrates me because it's usually not that i know what i want to ask and i'm just holding back out of shame, but that i don't really know what or how to ask at all.

i wish i could have articulated this at those times...

people can sometimes take for granted that asking for help is kind of a complex process; noticing that a problem exists, recognizing that independent resources are insufficient, identifying the problem accurately, communicating the problem adequately, identifying the right people/resources that can offer support... these are all the component parts of asking for help. and the entire time you need to devote consistent energy to this task, to value it as meaningful.

with a disrupted inner experience such as mine, these things can only occur with great difficulty.

and i do think part of My Quest is to devote the time and energy to healing the inner experience. another part is pushing through the challenge and valuing the task more. and another is to be more comfortable failing one or more of these passes but trusting others to pick up the slack--the right person can point you in the right direction, ask you to take something more seriously, etc. 

a patient person can guide you if you say, "i don't know what i need help with, i just know i need help". But it's all a gamble of how much time and energy will be spent on what. it's all so exhausting.

the shame i feel is more in being unpracticed and immature in these smaller foundational skills. i guess if someone wanted to comfort me they could focus on that, but it might still be frustrating.

if i felt comfortable rejecting people's good intentions more often and asking them to realign, perhaps i would be released of this problem. but like all problems, it's quite the intersection of moving parts.

[keenembersurvivor]

You Don’t Need a Bigger Budget — You Need Smarter Marketing

You don’t have to outspend the competition — you have to outsmart them.

The Myth That More Money Means More Results

Let’s be honest: most small business owners and startups assume that digital marketing is a game of budgets. 

Spoiler alert — that’s not true anymore. In today’s landscape, the businesses that win are the ones who track better, automate smarter, and make sharper decisions based on data.

At our digital marketing company in Coimbatore, we’ve helped countless startups outperform big-budget giants just by working smarter.

Let’s talk about one of them.

Meet NimbleNest — A Startup That Refused to Play the Old Game

NimbleNest was a small home décor brand launched out of Coimbatore. No celebrity endorsements. No nationwide ad blitz. Just a bootstrapped team, a strong belief in their product, and a desire to get things right.

They came to us at Xplore Intellects after burning through 60% of their budget on campaigns that looked great but didn’t bring in sales.

We asked them two simple questions:

Are you tracking what’s really working?

Are you talking to the right audience?

They weren’t. Most small businesses aren’t.

What We Did — And Why It Worked

Instead of increasing their ad budget, we realigned it. Here’s how:

1. Built Smarter Funnels with Data

Using marketing analytics, we tracked which channels brought the best traffic, which landing pages people stayed on, and what actions they took before bouncing.

Turns out, most of their budget was going into the wrong platform. Instagram was great for reach but terrible for conversions. Their sales actually came from Pinterest and Google.

We shifted focus — and that alone gave them a 34% uptick in qualified leads.

2. Automated the Right Moments

We introduced marketing automation tools — not to spam users, but to nurture them. When someone viewed a product and didn’t purchase, we triggered follow-up emails with similar recommendations, timed perfectly.

This hands-off, always-on marketing made sure no potential customer was forgotten.

3. Conversion Tracking That Told the Truth

Instead of guessing which ad worked, we implemented detailed conversion tracking. We tracked:

Ad clicks

Scroll depth on product pages

Abandoned carts

Checkout completions

That way, every marketing rupee was traceable.

The results?

ROI improved by 78% in just 40 days.

Ad spend dropped by 23%, while conversions went up.

They stopped chasing likes and started closing deals.

The Smart Budget Mindset

You don’t need a bigger megaphone. You need a clearer message and a better path.

A seasoned digital marketing agency knows how to squeeze every ounce of value out of your current spend. That’s what we do at Xplore Intellects.

So rather than thinking, “How much extra do I need to pour into this?” Start asking:

Where is my audience really active?

Which touchpoints matter the most?

What’s stopping my visitor from buying?

Let’s Be Real — What Big Brands Often Miss

Big companies often waste money on campaigns they think are working, just because they can afford to. But small businesses? We can’t afford vanity metrics.

We need efficiency. Precision. Smart tools that work around the clock.

And that’s the edge. Because if you’re a small business in Coimbatore looking to grow smart — you already have the advantage of agility. You can pivot faster. Test faster. Learn faster.

With the right digital marketing services in Coimbatore, you don’t just compete — you win.

FAQs

Q1: I don’t have a big marketing team. Can I still use marketing automation?

Absolutely. Tools today are beginner-friendly. A good agency can help you set up automated emails, SMS, and retargeting flows that run on autopilot.

Q2: What’s the easiest way to tell if my marketing campaigns are actually paying off?

With proper marketing analytics and conversion tracking. You’ll know exactly what’s working and what’s wasting money.

Q3: What’s the first step for a small business?

Start by auditing where your current leads come from. Then invest in understanding user behavior on your website.

Q4: How does Xplore Intellects support businesses like mine?

We work with startups and SMEs in Coimbatore and beyond to create lean, high-impact marketing systems that focus on results — not noise.

Final Word: Small Budgets, Smart Wins

Here’s what NimbleNest proved:

You don’t need to spend more. You need to know more.

You need to see where your money goes, what actions it drives, and how to double down on what works.

If you’re ready to stop guessing and start growing, you need a digital marketing company in Coimbatore that understands the science behind the spend.

Let’s make your small budget do big things. Let’s do it smart — together.

Xplore Intellects — Where growth isn’t louder, it’s sharper.

[kennethanne]

The Secret Ingredient Is Always the Lucky Vibe

Everyone looks for tactics. Systems. Tools. They search for hacks and shortcuts, hoping to find the thing that will finally make it all click. But often, what really makes the difference isn’t external. It’s internal.

Luckyvibe a pattern behind your best days the ones where you felt clear, capable, and connected. You were aligned. Mentally, emotionally, and energetically. And when everything within you lined up, the outside world seemed to follow.

That’s the secret ingredient no one talks about enough. Alignment the kind that can’t be faked or forced but always shows up in your results.

Alignment Feels Like Ease

When you’re aligned, things feel lighter. You don’t have to push so hard. You don’t second-guess every move. You trust yourself and that trust creates ease.

This doesn’t mean everything is easy. It means you’re not constantly fighting yourself. Your choices feel congruent. Your actions support your values. And your momentum flows from a place of clarity, not chaos.

People around you notice the difference not because you’re louder or faster, but because you move with purpose.

How to Know When You’re Out of Sync

On the flip side, misalignment feels like resistance:

You dread tasks you used to enjoy

You feel busy but not productive

You say yes when you want to say no

You question yourself more than usual

You keep chasing external wins that don’t feel rewarding

These are signs your internal compass needs recalibration. The good news? Realignment is always possible and it usually starts with small, honest shifts.

The Inner Work That Brings Outer Results

Alignment is an inside job. It comes from asking the right questions not just checking off the next item on a to-do list.

Here are a few prompts that can help:

What do I actually want today to feel like?

Am I doing this because it matters or because it’s expected?

What have I been avoiding that would free up my energy?

Where do I feel most like myself?

The more you check in, the more accurate your actions become. And that precision leads to better, faster, more satisfying results.

Letting Energy Lead the Way

Your energy speaks before your words do. It walks into the room with you. It lingers after you leave. When you're aligned, your energy is calm, focused, and inviting.

To lead with your energy:

Start your day with stillness, not stimulation

Move your body to activate presence

Focus on what you can control instead of what you can’t

Clear mental clutter by writing it down, not carrying it around

When you take care of your energy, your decisions become more intentional. You stop reacting and start responding. That shift alone can transform your entire day.

Consistency Over Hustle

When you’re aligned, you don’t need to hustle yourself into exhaustion. You stay consistent because you’re not forcing it.

Consistency in alignment looks like:

Following through because you want to, not because you’re afraid not to

Creating routines that support, not suppress you

Saying yes from a place of trust, not guilt

Progressing steadily without burnout

The results from consistent, aligned effort are deeper and more sustainable than any short burst of hustle.

Letting Go of What Isn’t Yours to Carry

One of the biggest blocks to alignment? Carrying things that don’t belong to you expectations, opinions, outdated goals.

To return to alignment, try letting go of:

Roles you’ve outgrown

Pressure that comes from comparison

Obligations that no longer match your values

Narratives about who you should be

Release what no longer fits. When you do, you create space for what actually feels right and that’s where the magic begins.

The Secret Is in the Subtle Shifts

Most people think alignment comes from overhauls and dramatic change. But the truth? It’s often a product of small, repeated choices that honor your values.

Examples:

Saying “I need a break” instead of pushing through

Swapping one negative thought with a neutral one

Changing your environment to reflect your goals

Turning off distractions for 15 minutes to focus on what matters

These shifts may feel minor but they bring you back to center. From that place, everything else aligns more naturally.

Clarity Before Action

There’s power in pausing. In asking “why?” before acting. When you pause long enough to gain clarity, your actions become sharper and more effective.

Start asking:

Does this align with the life I’m creating?

Am I doing this out of fear or purpose?

What’s one small adjustment that could bring me back to balance?

Clarity turns busy work into meaningful effort. It prevents missteps. It amplifies results. And it protects your energy from being wasted.

When You’re in Tune, Others Feel It Too

You’re not the only one who benefits when you’re aligned. Everyone you interact with can feel the difference:

Your communication becomes clearer

Your decisions are easier to trust

Your presence becomes more magnetic

Your leadership becomes more inspiring

Alignment is contagious. It encourages others to seek their own. That’s how teams, relationships, and communities grow stronger one aligned person at a time.

Recalibrate Often, Not Just When You Burn Out

You don’t need to wait for a crisis to return to yourself. Make realignment a daily check-in, not a last resort.

Try this:

Morning: “What kind of day do I want to create?”

Midday: “Am I acting from alignment or pressure right now?”

Evening: “What felt good today? What felt forced?”

These simple questions bring you back gently, consistently. Over time, they create a lifestyle where you’re rarely too far off track.

Conclusion: The Real Secret Is Within You

Everyone’s looking for the magic ingredient the thing that will give them an edge. But the real edge isn’t in more tools, faster tactics, or louder noise.

It’s in alignment.

When your actions match your values… When your energy matches your intention… When your choices match your truth…

That’s when momentum feels effortless. That’s when your results start to reflect who you really are.

The secret ingredient isn’t something you need to find. It’s something you need to remember.

[wordtowords]

A Review: The Great Gatsby: The Musical

public domain - noun - the state of belonging or being available to the public as a whole, therefore not subject to copyright.

On January 1, 2021, F. Scott Fitzgerald's comparatively brief, literary masterpiece, The Great Gatsby entered the public domain after 95 years of copyright protection. With it, the doors to Jay's mansion were opened up to permit party crashers (present writers) to enter and reek anarchic havoc indefinitely on a flawless classic that deserves to be preserved since perfection needs no improvement.

The other night, a close friend of mine invited me to see the premiere of the new musical The Great Gatsby at the Tony-winning regional theater, the Paper Mill Playhouse in Millburn, New Jersey. As a Gatsby connoisseur, I gratefully accepted, hoping for the best.

On the plus side, the show's cast list reads like the Broadway version of Who's Who, and the production values are excellent, completely comparable to that of any present-day Broadway musical. The music is pretty much Disney-esque (think "Frozen" here). Surely, the producers must have high hopes to realize a continuation of the show on the Great White Way after the limited engagement at the Paper Mill ends in December. The entire run, apparently, is sold out, which is most unusual for a local New Jersey theater. For The Great Gatsby: The Musical, the buzz is loud and boisterous. But is the reality? Sadly, no.

Considering what it is, a musical loosely based on Gatsby, the title is all wrong. It should have been called, "Jay and Daisy, Nick and Jordan." Why? Perhaps ignorant of the original, yet conscious of the contemporary trend to erase the ugliness of history in favor of "woke" ideology, the updated version pays little attention to Fitzgerald's organization of events, realigning key moments and lines of dialogue so that they just do not make any sense contextually. It also reimagines the main characters (a buffoonish Jay; a manipulative, vengeful Daisy) as well as relatively insignificant secondary characters, changing them to significant ones by reconceptualizing their personalities, and adding contemporary dialogue to make all of them scarcely credible given the setting of the 1920s. Forget about Nick's first person narration as well. Meyer Wolfsheim enters on occasion from stage left as somewhat of a stage manager–for what reason, I have no idea. Further plot complications are also included (Myrtle Wilson winds up pregnant with Tom's baby, which makes Daisy guilty of double manslaughter), but definitely not needed. The jostling, rearranging, reimagining and adding amount to chaos. Yet apparently, the audiences are eating it all up, awarding the piece with standing ovations night after night. Do they not see that the Emperor is not wearing any clothes? "Ignorance is bliss." I'll say so. 

No doubt, the money from the box office receipts will continue to pour in, bolstering this parody of the original. If Fitzgerald were still alive and seated in the audience, he might have enjoyed it, but don't forget that he had a sense of humor (he married Zelda), needed the money desperately, and most likely would have been roaringly drunk at the performance. My guess is that the masterminds of The Great Gatsby: The Musical might be fans, not of Scott but of Mark Twain, embracing his idea that it is "easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled." 

My hope is that the laws of public domain will be edited so that classic literature will be protected from slanderous imitation indefinitely. Tip for writers: Be original. Come up with your own ideas for musicals. Don't borrow from the greats just for the sake of the all-mighty dollar. You'll most definitely come up short, maybe not in this climate, but in the long run when people finally wake up to see that the Emperor is actually naked, recognizing what they might have thought was ingenious is actually rubbish. 

[fizzingwizard]

I know you touched up on it in your recent writing, but I was wondering what you thought about the yagami sibling's "I'll never forgive you/you can hate me if you want" scene in the last tri movie? I think it presented such an interesting dynamic especially since, between the siblings, we usually get a lot more doting big brother yamato, making the ishida-takaishi boys feel a lot closer (though I might be remembering wrong, it could also be bc takeru was originally in the digiworld from the get go aka longer). I just wish we had gotten some time to have proper resolution (or hints of) as to how hikari and taichi make amends with each other.

Yeah, it's a great moment, and it's a shame that we don't get to see the aftermath. (side note: I do think it's an optical illusion due to Takeru having been with the group from the start that makes he and Yamato seem closer than Taichi and Hikari. I've always seen both sets of siblings as being very close.) I love what they did with them but it did make the ending feel a little cold: first the reactions to Taichi’s apparent “death” were very belated and then his return is marred by everything else going on... Tri just needed to be one movie longer (or Saikai and Ketsui should have been blended together in one :P)

I don't think Hikari blames Taichi or hates him. I think she does feel betrayed, at least in the sense that, until then, she and her brother always seemed to be on the same path, and now Taichi's made a unilateral choice to go down a different one. But she doesn't think it's an evil one, or she wouldn't have chosen to stay and fight. It's just different and not what she wants. But the reason he can't stay on that path is because he's had to confront his convictions and found they came up short, so he’s adjusted. So I think they would need time to recalibrate their relationship afterward. Taichi must look like someone Hikari doesn't quite know anymore. But she'd still believe that she does know him deep down. And he respects her. This isn't about "Hikari's naive" anymore than it's about "Taichi's evil." It's just their relationship evolving and the growing pains that go along with that.

I guess that's how best I can sum it up, but as I’m allergic to brevity, there’s more under the cut...

I am sure Hikari always assumed her brother shared the vision of the future that we see from her at the end of 02. But as early as Saikai, we can already see that Taichi's grip on that sort of idealism is shaky. At that time what he's worried about is making a mistake, collateral damage, things getting out of hand. But in Bokura no Mirai, it's not about what he can't control anymore, it's about controlling what he can.

In Kyousei, Taichi decides to kill Meicoomon once Meiko breaks down and says that's what she wants (which is another thing altogether). But at that time his resolve is shaky. Instead, he winds up sacrificing himself to protect Yamato and Meiko. Taichi's still our typical idea of a shonen hero at the end of Kyousei.

Bokura no Mirai picks up by handing Taichi what is essentially a riff on the trolley problem. And he wants the third choice: the way that saves everyone. But what Nishijima wants him to realize, I think, is that clinging to the hope that that third choice exists even without evidence is not the way that does no harm. That idealism comes with its own collateral damage. By running from the dilemma, he's saying he's willing to risk all of their lives on a fantasy. Then Nishijima forces the matter and makes the choice himself, and that forces Taichi to reevaluate his own views of life and death. It's no longer "all life is precious no matter what." Life and death are always connected and neither good nor evil.

Taichi returns to the others no longer unsure about what to do. He's accepted that continuing to try to save Meicoomon, at this point, is to treat other people's lives as less important. If, at that point, Koushirou or someone had said "I have an idea to save her," I think Taichi would have done it. But their hope for a miracle has so far only prolonged everyone's suffering - Meicoomon's, Meiko's, the world's. It's because no one has any more ideas and they are out of time that he chooses her death.

Because Meiko/Meicoomon were created just for Tri, and don't have the same status as the classic characters, it's... maybe not fair to call it a cop-out, but even in the framework of complex morality, the writers definitely didn't want to go as far as killing any fan favorites. So that's a degrees of separation thing. And I think Hikari's actions are meant to answer for that. She cares deeply about everyone. She values life indiscriminately, so her ideals don't allow her to arrive at the same conclusion as her brother.

But that doesn't make her naive. The fact that idealism can be harmful doesn't mean it's bad or childish. When Taichi tells her, "You stay that way," I don't think he's just being a doting older brother who doesn't want his baby sister to face the dark world. Hikari's faced plenty of darkness. I think we've always been shown that Taichi respects Hikari very much and I don't think he'd do her the disservice of treating her convictions as childish and his own epiphany as the one true path to adulthood. Instead, he wants her to continue to hold onto her ideals, because he knows it's only by continuing to value those ideals that they'll ever see the kind of future they wish for, and because he knows only someone like her can keep him in check.

Tri also gives a big cryptic spiel about how “the sensitive things are the most fragile” or something like that. And we see Hikari’s fragility when losing her brother causing her to wig out and somehow help cause Ordinemon. But the other thing we see with Hikari is her standing up to Homeostasis, trying to wrestle control back to herself. And it's the Ordinemon fusion that enables Tailmon to support Meicoomon. So even if we say her sensitivity makes her fragile, "fragility" can't be equated with "weakness." There are many fragile things in the world that have a hidden resilience and play an important role in the ecosystem. Hikari’s like that. That’s why her “idealistic” view isn’t silly or naive. It’s an essential part of being human - same as Taichi’s. It’s definitely on purpose that Hikari is the representative of “Light” which very obviously means “life” in Digimon, and Taichi’s huge play in Tri is about, as well as resulting from, death. They're put in contrast to each other.

That's what I think Hikari can't forgive: her brother is basically saying, "You choose your path, and I choose mine." If she had then stormed off and refused to fight, it would be one thing, but she doesn't - she stays and does her part. It's only natural that she'd feel disturbed with what they're doing. She doesn't look away though. She accepts her brother's worldview without sacrificing her own. I thought things would have to be rocky between them for a while afterward because they'd need time to realign, learn how to work together with different value sets. How to make those values support and balance each other rather than tear each other down.

It's not clear at the end of Bokura no Mirai that Taichi's made the right decision. I think that's the point - sometimes you just can't know, but you still have to decide. I'm sure the writers knew fans would be wont to side with their heroes, but that could be deceptive. Maybe that's why Hikari get so much attention in that last scene: the writers are telling us "You don't have to agree with this choice. But time moves forward with or without us."

Those are my thoughts for the moment at least... I guess it could just be “Taichi’s an adult now and helping the others step out of their childhood dreamworld” but I guess I just internally reject that. So maybe I’m wrong but... well, I prefer to think about it this way :P It was a hell of a thing to walk out of the theater like “did that really happen?” Tri just ripped off the idea of “escapist anime movie” and just took itself really seriously and that’s why I looooooove it. Like, I’m so glad we didn’t get a triumphant, feel-good ending. Wouldn’t have minded clearer answers to certain questions *cough* but Tri is definitely unforgettable.

[austarus]

Harry Wells x Reader Crisis of Infinite Wells (Part 4 of 5)

**A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me. It belongs to @moonymartell​ and @countlesswells​

** *Insert angel face emoji*

Word Count: 7267

Part 1    Part 2    Part 3    Part 5

‘Systems Online,’ a pop-up signal had indicated on the tablet you held with flashing red and white lettered lights. But the adrenaline in your veins would not subside. Taking in a breath of rushed air, you walked towards the monitors on jittery feet with the notion of checking on Nash. Looking back up at him, his eyes were shut, and his lithe body was reclined in the chair with machinery hooked up to him. You dread ball up in the pit of your stomach as silence hung in the air.

“Did it work?” Ralph questioned, glancing to everyone then back to you; confusion written on his face.

“Is there something that should have happened?” Barry followed up beside Ralph.

“Well if there was a big bang sound, followed by multiple spontaneous sparks flying everywhere and the room’s electricity short-circuiting along with small fires combusting from the machinery then we’d be in trouble.” You watched Nash’s neurological and physiological vitals rise and fall within homeostatic values on the monitors. Normal. Stable. “I- According to my theoretical calculations- yes, I’m getting science-y right now-,” you exhaled while you gestured with your hands as you spoke, “each psyche that had manifested itself into Nash’s being should have effectively split from his psyche and returned to their respective bodies in each dimension harboring a Harrison Wells doppelganger. Harry and the others hypothesized that their bodies must be unconscious, but alive in order for their psyches to remain intact within Nash’s mind.” The others looked unsure. You rubbed your exhausted eyes. “It’s just like how when you and Iris used the Mindscape Machine to enter into Nora’s mindscape when she went into Grace’s mind. Sherloque said you both would enter with your psyche’s and they had to be intact in Nora’s head in order to ensure you’d be able to return to your bodies unharmed. If the psyche is harmed and killed in any way, then the body essentially dies,” You took a step towards them away from the monitors with the tablet held close to you. “The reverse should be correct as well. If the psyche is absent from the body, the body must be preserved at stable levels in order for the psyche to return and realign itself in its proper body. That’s what we’re relying on. Hopefully they all made it back to their respective bodies.”

“In this case, it’s the multidimension of Wells,” Chester interjected, lowering his voice to a whisper. “So freaking cool.” Allegra rolled her eyes as she continued to cross her arms.

“Nash would have felt the absence of a Wells in his psyche if another doppelganger’s psyche had deteriorated due to its unconscious body not surviving. Wolfgang would be able to pinpoint who it is because he has a neurological roster of the Council of Wells that he had implemented into his own mind, therefore his own psyche.”

Iris spoke up after you finished, running a hand over her forearm as she resisted the urge to itch the patch of skin. Side effects from remaining in the Mirrorverse for too long. “So, they get back to their bodies. Then what? How are they going to get here?”

“Each Wells should be able to use their intelligence as well as tapping into their own resources on their Earth and use the dimensional coordinates they have to get relay their dimensional coordinates and the states of their Earth’s back to Earth-Prime,” You answered in a heartbeat with a snap of a finger. “Sherloque, Harry, and Wolfgang should be coming as soon as they wake up. They work fast and everything.”

“Ugh,” Cisco groaned in irritation, throwing his head back, “not Herr ‘off-you-go’ Wells.” The rest of us giggled at impending misery. “I swear if he makes one snide remark.”

“Wait, how do you know if we’ve got all the Wells and their dimensions? Is there some sort of algorithm the satellites are tracking?” Kamila added from beside Cisco. You watched his eyes melt a bit at the fact that she takes interest in understanding his areas of expertise like how he does to her photography and artistic nature.

You gave Cisco the honors of explaining that one. He turned to his lovely girlfriend. “My babies up in the heavens, god bless my mechanical genius, are calibrated with the finest technology to identify any molecular or subatomic shifts produced by any wave of dark matter or antimatter.” Kamila grinned at him as he continued. “But we won’t know for certain until Grumpy Cat, Tea Leaves, and Herr Prim-Posh Pants summon themselves through to correctly calibrate the DCP (Dimensional Communications Projector) to the actual dimensional values. You know, the Wells touch and all. God, but I swear if they break anything-”

“-They’re not,” you giggled as you cut off your annoyed friend, “I already told Harry that this area would be a ‘No Throw’ zone. The guys know better than to throw things that aren’t theirs too.”

“What about Nash?” Cecile pointed at the unconscious man.

Right, this part. “I will stay here to monitor any changes to his vitals until he wakes up. I already have a universal blood sample from our very own speedster in case Nash’s body were to start entering a state of flux. Barry’s cells should be able to repair any damage in Nash’s body if that were to happen. Just like he did to Ralph.”

“But Ralph’s body is pure elastic. It can bend and readjust itself to anything. Nash’s human.” You make a very excellent point, Cecile.

“Don’t worry, I’ve already run tests on myself and Cisco in order to ensure that the small blood transfusion would work on non-metas.” You fist-bumped your bro, who nodded approvingly. “Tiny increments should be able to do the trick.” Cecile nodded at you, giving you a motherly proud look before it contorted into a pointed one. You knew what she was going to say, but before she had a chance to say it the meta alarm went off.

“I guess that’s our cue to leave things to you,” Barry smiled at you, before nodding everyone to the direction of the door.

“Don’t die out there,” you teasingly yelled at their retreating figure.

“We’ll try not to.”

“And Barry, you need to do a prognosis physiological and biochemical report on your body from using the artificial Speed-force. Can’t have you losing your speed halfway through the day.”

“Yes, mother, I’ll be home before dinner to do homework,” Barry snickered, as he waved you off as he left with the others.

You rolled your eyes playfully at your antics with him and the others. Taking a seat in front of the monitors, you gave Nash another look. No matter how many times I can joke around with the others, I still feel the weight of their lives on my shoulder. You chewed on the inside of your cheek as your eyes flickered onto the screens. You need to wake up soon Nash. Running a hand through your hair as you set your head against your arm which leaned on the metal table. I need to know I didn’t kill you.

***

An hour had passed, and you felt your head was down to its last brain cell. You blinked slowly as you laid it against the cool metal. Nash was still unconscious, and you were starting to get worried. His vitals were still substantially at equilibrium. You shut your eyes for a moment. Allegra strode in with an annoyed look on her face as her eyes landed on Nash then to you.

“I don’t get why you care about him,” her rushed voice caused you to lift your head up. She continued while you quirked an eyebrow at her. “Why you’re wasting time watching over him. I mean after everything he’s done to me and the rest of us. Hell, he took your boyfriend away from you for some shit myth-busting. How is it that you still try to make yourself available to help someone like him?” It pisses me off and so does his existence!

“Allegra, Nash’s a human being too.”

“Ugh, whatever.” The young adult padded over to where some tech lied in attempts to obtain the thing that Cisco had described he needed.

“Ok, no. I can’t do this today.”

“Excuse me?” she narrowed her eyes at your change in tone. What’s got her panties all in a sudden twist?

“I’m am so tired of your bullshit attitude towards him,” You threw out, standing up from your chair with flared nostrils. “Your incessant whining when we don’t tell you every little detail about us, and how you treated the rest of us like dirt as if we haven’t been trying to stay by your side.”

“I haven’t-”

“Do you honestly not remember the way you treated Joe and Cecile? With rudeness and hostility and utter venom? When they had tried to get you to trust them to keep you safe from your cousin? How you were so pissy at Iris for not telling you about Team Flash? How you sneered and lashed out at Frost for trying to help you with your boy problems? We’re just going to sweep all that under the rug and call it a day?” You rhetorically asked with utter frustration. “And Nash, what is your problem with him? That he didn’t tell you that his adopted daughter who died right in front of him is your doppelganger? That’s your reason to emotional and mentally abuse him?! Boohoo, he didn’t tell me the truth. I’m a journalist I have to know the truth.”

“I don’t know wh-”

How can one person be so selfish? “Yes, you do. I’m a family practitioner, I know the signs of abuse even if it isn’t physical. 1) The silent treatment you give him whenever he tried to approach you to see if you were alright or if you needed help. 2) Not taking any responsibility for your toxic behavior towards him. 3) Pushing him to the point where he questions himself and his sanity because of how much you openly despise him. 4) Leading him to believe almost everything that goes wrong around you is his fault when it’s not. That’s gaslighting. 5) Using shame and his guilt to make him feel worse about himself regarding problems he already deeply regrets and works every day to make up for it. 6) Appearing indifferent when he’s clearly hurt/sad/upset. That’s called lack of empathy. And 7) ignoring him when he’s trying to express his feelings or trying to explain himself to you, but obviously because of all of the above you never gave him the fucking chance.” I get that her upbringing was rough but isn’t it hypocritical of you to pry at everyone’s hidden secrets when you have some of your own. We barely know anything about you other than the CCPD records and your meta abilities.

You had taken a few steps closer to her, seething and seeing red. Allegra struggled to retaliate, “I didn’t know-“

“No, you clearly didn’t because every time he tried to talk to you, you always shot him down harshly. Nash tried to give you time and space, always hoping that you would be ready and one day just listen to him. Do you not know how hard it is to wake up every morning to see the doppelganger of your dead child? Do you not understand how hard it is for him to relive the memory of her death over and over again? How much grief he’s carried in his heart and all of a sudden, by a stroke of chance his daughter’s doppelganger is part of Team Flash on this Earth?”

“…”

“You call yourself a journalist, but only when you don’t get what you want. You used that card so many times against Iris, especially when you snooped on her computer and found out about the crisis.” You took in a breath from your heated speech to calm down. Your headed started to pound even more Never in your life have you gotten this ballistic. You counted to 10 and regained control of your breathing and your tongue. Allegra was downright speechless, stunned in her spot at your ebullient words. “I’m not sorry for everything that I’ve said. You needed to hear it to wake up from that closed off and childish world you live in. Because whether you like it or not, he’s family too. And he’s here to stay, just like you. That’s the truth. You have trust issues, even when you’re with us. All of us. You doubt yourself and hesitate. That’s another truth. And you just use him as a punching bag to let out your frustration and pent-up annoyance on someone who only wants to protect you. Penance for not being able to protect his own daughter.”

“I didn’t ask for him to protect me. I’m not helpless.”

“We don’t ask for a lot of things in life to happen, but they do so anyway. Barry got struck by lightning. Frost and Caitlin watched their father die. We’ve lost so many precious souls. But life goes on. Is Iris helpless when Barry saves her? Is it true when vice versa happens? Frost distracts the baddie in time for Cisco to work his tech magic. Is he helpless? Is Ralph helpless when Sue took down those assassins even though she knew he was Elongated Man who is more than capable of handling a few bullets?”

“I- No?”

“Having another person around isn’t a sign of weakness, but strength. Surrounding yourself with people who love you, who you can call family isn’t an exhibition of helplessness. Allegra, you have a home now. A family that will always want the best for you whether you choose to trust us or not. And no matter what happens, Nash’s resolve is to ensure your safety even though he knows you are your own person. For his dead daughter’s sake. That’s how he believes he can redeem all that he’s done. Is that wrong?”

“But he manipulated me and then basically started the crisis.”

“Then I guess you don’t know the full story about that either,” you mocked her. Some reporter, huh. “First off, Nash told you about Team Flash before Team Flash told you about Team Flash. Why? I can only assume that he wanted you to know before you found out the hard way. Meaning if something where to happen to you unexpectedly like Blackhole targeting you because of your affiliation with Iris. He wanted you to already be aware of them and to know who to go to in case things got rough. Secondly, he gave you the push you needed to not fear your powers. To trust yourself. He foresaw that you’d need your powers and so would the others. So, where in all of that does Nash win and leave you for ruin like Eobard Thawne has done to the others? Was it wrong for Nash to indirectly help you in his own awkward bargain-y kind of way?”

Allegra ran a hand through her hair as you spoke, wanting desperately to prove you wrong that Nash was just using her. “It’s just… weird. I’m her doppelganger, I’m my own person. I’m not… her. I don’t even know her name.”

“Her name is Maya and if you asked Nash, he’d be more than willing to tell you about her, and you’d see for yourself that you and she are not the same.”

Allegra nodded at your words, looking as if she would contemplate it. You hoped anyway. The man didn’t need to be broken further. “How do you know all this?”

“It’s honestly pretty simple to push his buttons a bit before he spilled his pent-up feelings to me after we exorcised Eobard out of him. And I’m pretty sure Harry’s been giving him hell for Nash’s unsuccessful attempts with talking to you.

“Who’s he again?”

“An evil murderous speedster that has a thing for ruining Barry’s life and ensuring his existence in the timeline. Not the first time that’s happened, but the crisis allowed for us to do an exorcism was very… eye-opening.” You grinned mirthlessly to yourself causing her to smile a bit. You sighed and took a seat, gesturing for her to take it. Rubbing your eyes, you spoke up, “Nash isn’t the only one.”

“I don’t understand”

“4 years ago, Zoom was terrorizing Earth-1 and Earth-2. A speedster that could breach back and forth if all 52 breach-points weren’t sealed. It was terrifying to say the least. Barry, Cisco, Harry, and I breached over to Earth-2 with a 24-hour time limit in saving Jesse. She’s Harry’s daughter. His pride and joy, his one weakness but his true.”

“You sound like she’s yours too.”

In a way, she kinda would be if- “She’s a brilliant young soul who rivaled her father in intelligence and had a high-spirited personality. Later on, she was accidentally gifted with speedster abilities when Harry and the others tried to regain Barry’s speed. Abilities that Harry still dreads to this day because he’s an overprotective grouch. You’d like Jesse if you met her. Any who, I’m going off topic-” You laughed to yourself. “We had a strict time limit to find her before Zoom and his meta-minions expunged us off the multiverse. And Barry, he went undercover after kidnapping his nerdy doppelganger- “

“-so, Barry basically kidnapped himself- “

“-Yeah. A lot of weird shit goes on with us, but those are all stories for another time.” You waved the thought off before continuing. “So, he was undercover, and he met up with Joe and Iris’ doppelgangers on Earth-2’s Jitters. Barry couldn’t help himself when it came to protecting them when Earth-2 Killer Frost and her boyfriend crashed the little party in search for Barry and us. In the name of Zoom, they were sent out to kill of the breachers. Barry got involved when we were supposed to be incognito getting in and getting out. He sped E-2 Joe to the hospital and E-2 Iris away before she could shoot at E-2 Killer Frost. Even though, Harry told him that these doppelgangers were not his Iris and Joe, that he shouldn’t get involved with the people there. Barry saw the differences and, I kid you not, yelled at Harry that even if they were doppelgangers, they were still his Joe and Iris. He had a sense to protect them, just like Nash does for you.”

“That’s…”

 “It’s a lot, I know. We’ve all been through a lot in these past 6 years. Just… just think about it. Give Nash a chance to talk to you. To explain everything to you from his point of view. Because deep down, he knows you are your own person, but that you’re special just like Maya. Just as what Barry saw on Earth-2 with Joe and Iris’ doppelgangers. Lives worth risking for.”

You watched as Allegra took in a breath, really letting everything sink in before nodding at you. The gem that Nash had given her was still in her jacket pocket. It amplified her UV powers into mentally confusing the person in front of her. She fiddled with the tech in her hands. “I need to go give this to Cisco. He’s probably wondering if I drowned or not.” You nodded at her with an understanding smile as she retreated out the speed lab. Sighing harshly, you allowed the tension to leave your body as you reclined back in your seat. You shut your eyes. I hope I made the right decision to speak my mind to her.

“Didn’t think you thought that highly of me.” Your eyes fluttered open as you took a sharp intake of breath. Nash chuckled to himself at your dismay. His head felt incredibly murky as he blinked the dark spots away. He remained reclined as he rolled his head to the side, the feeling of his limbs returning to him as he urged his fingers to twitch and curl.

“Nash?! You were awake the entire time?!” Nash just smirked languidly at your embarrassed outburst, ignoring the slight throbbing sensation in his head. “Why didn’t you chime in?”

He watched you slowly sit up with worriment. Nash noted your continued exhaustion. “I was intrigued on what you had to say on my behalf.”

“Worried I’d tell her to UV your existence off the planet?”

“No, you wouldn’t do that.”

“And how do you know that? I can be pretty mean.”

And pretty bossy when you berate me for running into danger. But in either case, still pretty. “I understand. But then the question begs, why would you go to such great lengths to defend me?”

“I didn’t defend just you, Nash.”

“But almost the entirety of the conversation revolved around me and how I felt. My regrets and intentional self-punishment. You could have told her that you didn’t care and that she could continue to give me the cold shoulder… but you didn’t. Isn’t that right, little lady?” Nash coyly mocked you, causing you to roll your eyes at the Wells doppelganger. “Like you said, I’m a human being as well.”

“And a dumbass,” you muttered in a hushed voice to yourself as the taller man moved to stand up, he swayed not quite oriented yet. You were on your feet at once to steady him back into his seat. “Let’s do a couple of tests before you do any gallivanting across the city.” You checked over the monitors, noting that some vitals had dropped below normal which could be due to him waking up from the psyche-neural mental surgery.

“Do you want to take Barry’s blood?” You held up the syringe of speedster blood O-.

“Pass. I’m not a vampire.”

“I know you’re not a vampire, you idiot! This should speed up your body’s biochemical processes for you to retain homeostatic levels and for your mind to reorient itself to the psyche-neural splicing.” Nash stubbornly agreed to the blood administration. He rolled up his sleeve while you pulled out the necessary equipment to work your medical magic. You were just about finished when the geological myth-buster spoke up.

“Thank you… I owe you a favor.”

“Huh?”

“I said, thank you.”

“Sorry, just one more time. I don’t- I don’t think I… caught that correctly.”

“How does Harry even put up with you?”

“You can ask him yourself when he gets here,” you responded cheekily with a huge toothy grin on your face. You won’t lie and say that your heart didn’t jump that Harry would be coming soon. “Now what’s this about owing me a favor?”

Geez don’t smile like that at me. Nash pushed away those pesky thoughts. “I honestly really hoped you wouldn’t catch that, but,” He paused for a moment to collect his words as he sat up, now not taking for granted the silence within his own mind. “After you put the Psyche Segregator on me, I realized something. The favor you owed me, protecting Allegra, it’s… a favor without an expiration date.”

“So?”

“It wouldn’t be fair if I did not do the same.”

“I’m not following.”

“Gods! What I’m saying is, that I owe you a lifelong favor. But only one.”

He owes me a favor. A lifelong favor. A favor that’s lifelong. A favor that doesn’t expire. An expirationless favor. I get a lifelong favor. A dumbass owes me a favor. “…”

“What’s it going to be?”

“… I can’t think of anything right now.”

Nash only blinked at you. “Seriously, you can’t come up with something in that ditzy head of yours?”

“Hey, I take great offense to that!”

“Good, it’s the truth.”

You put away the medical equipment and disconnected the screens that held his vitals. While you were up, you gave him a water bottle and some food to help with the dizziness. Nash felt his strength return to him as the blood transfusion allowed his body to work faster in restoring itself. “You never told me; did it work? Are they…?” You trailed off pointing to your head as he stood up.

“No mo-”

Swouush, swooush

The crackling sounds of atoms and the fabric of this dimension cut you off. You turned around to see two breach-like holes open up in the middle of the speed lab, familiar and friendly faces exiting safely. They pocketed their newly synthesized dimensional extrapolators.

“Vhy don’t you take ein gut look, schatz?”

“Oui, we’d be more zhan ‘appy to answer zhat for Nash.”

You greeted them cheerily with a hand wave as they approached you and Nash. Wolfgang nodded at you before making a beeline to where the DCM remained. Sherloque tipped his hat to you before nodding at Nash.

“You guys made it safely.” :D

“Zhat we did, petit fluer. A few bumps on zhe way, but nozhing eizher of us could not ‘andle,” Sherloque piqued up,

“Then that means-,” You pulled out caramel vanilla flavored chap stick out of your pocket and applied it to your lips. Your heart waited in anticipation not even wanting to waste time to even fix your hair. Harry will be here soon. The boys just watched you carry on with a dumbstruck smile on your face as you stood in place and waited for a breach to open up. Wolfgang resumed working on recalibrating the DCM for the others.

“Did you just put on chap stick?” Nash asked with quirked eyebrows and an incredulous look.

“Well, yeah? When I see Harry, I’m going to wanna kiss him, duh.”

“You didn’t get enough from-”

“-Sherloque, don’t-”

“-when you were making out wizh ‘arry in Nash’s ‘ead?”

You shut your eyes and groaned, blood rushing up to your face as you covered it with your hands. “They did what?? Seriously, in my mindscape?” Nash’s flare-up caused Sherloque to snicker as he smirked at your bashfulness.

“Ja, zhey did zhat.” Wolfgang sighed, pulling up new schematics one the computer screen. He worked diligently with any piece of technology at his fingertips. “Alzhough, Sherloque vas zhe unfortunate one to valk in on zhem. Gott sei Dank bin ich es nicht.”

“Oui, zhey were getting very ‘ot and ‘eavy zhat it took Wolfgang and moi to interrupt zhem from what people on zhis Earth would say ‘rounding zhe bases like deux ‘ormonal teenagers.”

“Sherloque, stop! Please!”

Your cheeks were on fire and you know they could see the colored hues. Sherloque and Nash continued to tease you while you attempted to ignore their playful jabs. No Harry yet. It’s been… 15 minutes. Don’t panic. He’s ok. Probably held up or something at his Labs. He’s ok and he’s with Jesse. Just breathe. “I-I should probably run some small physiological diagnostics on you guys since you just crossed over and we don’t know if the dimensional travel will negatively impact you or not.”

“Great, she gets nervous and all of a sudden to distract herself, the little lady wants to run tests.” Nash facepalmed while Sherloque just gave you a look.

“Hey, I’m not nervous! How many times are you going to offend me today?”

“As many times as necessary.”

“Everyzhing zhat you’re doing right now are common gestures of being nervous. You keep playing wizh your fingers and biting on your bottom lip. You did zhat last year whenever we were discussing Cicada.” Sherloque added much to your chagrin.

You pouted with crossed arms. “I don’t do it often.”

“Yes, you do.” Both Nash and Sherloque responded simultaneously and you felt yourself shrink a bit under their combined blue gazes. Before you could say anything, Wolfgang let out low whistle. The three of you turned to him as he began to speak.

“Systems are all online und fully functional. Zhe ozhers should be sending us zheir dimensional coordinates und ve can commence vizh zhe cataloging soon.” The German man continued speaking as he finished typing up a few more algorithms on the computer. “I’ve already uploaded ein copy of zhe roster from my mind zhat vay ve could check zhe ozher Vells off Stück für Stück.

You nodded at Wolfgang’s words, but felt your stomach squeeze in your lower abdomen. “What about Harry?”

“Ve vill just have to vait until he shows up, schatz.” Wolfgang adjusted his glasses as he gave you a brief glance. You weren’t the only one to notice that since arriving on Earth-Prime that Wolfgang wouldn’t meet your eyes. “Do no vorry, Harry vill come.” Your shoulders sagged at the idea, an action Sherloque picked up on which prompted him to give his two cents.

Mh, une distraction semble être de mise. “(Y/N), Wolfgang ‘ere told me an interesting story about ‘is Earzh and a particular person ‘e ‘ad come across. Say, your doppelganger for instance.” The Frenchman took off his fedora to card his fingers through his dark locks whilst Wolfgang momentarily froze. Nash stretched fully before retreating out of the room, knowing he wouldn’t be needed and wouldn’t allow himself to be psychoanalyzed by the one and only Sherloque Wells. Sherloque smirked as Nash left and Wolfgang’s reaction. Il n’y a pas de mal à partager des histoires.

“Nein, halt- Ich-”

“-He told you or did you deduce it from him like you do to everyone else?” You questioned your friend slyly before turning your head back to the German Wells. “Wolfgang, you knew my doppelganger?”

“Ja, ve… ve used to be close in university.” His cheeks dusted pink as he fumbled about with the wiring of your Earth’s extrapolators. “She vas zhe one zhing zhat remained constant zhrough zhe years.”

“What happened to her? You’re talking as if-”

“She passed avay. Ja, she did. She vas terminally ill… Multiple Sclerozis.”

So that’s probably why he doesn’t like to look at me for too long. “I’m sorry. My brother- he died a few years ago from Multiple Sclerosis too. I guess the apple doesn’t fall too far from the family tree even across the multiverse, huh?”

“Ja.”

Ok (Y/N), way to make it super awkward. “I should- leave you to your sciencing. Sorry about that.”

Wolfgang just nodded his head in thanks before sending a glare to the detective while Sherloque advised the both of you to venture out to the breakroom for to make drinks. With a smug look on his face, obviously. Qu’est ce qui retarde ‘arry? The same thought echoed hauntingly in your mind as well. You allowed the French detective to pull you down the corridor for some coffee and tea, but your mind could not for the life of it let go of Harry.

***

You waited. Patiently, if I might add. It’s been 2 days since Wolfgang and Sherloque had popped over. Obviously you had gone home to shower and change before coming back with some snacks. The cataloging was running smoothly. Wells one by one projected themselves over via the DCM and recounted their dimensional coordinates as well as establishing the state of their Earth in this new dimension. But you grew uninterested in the different variations of your boyfriend. Each second ticked away at your heart. Like a fool you’d look up at the different sounds that would come from the center of the Speed Labs only to be met with disappointment. Sherloque eyed you as you waited around like a lost puppy for the Earth-2 man, even at points getting up and pacing. The detective saw the anxiety ooze from you at the fact that Harry hadn’t arrived yet, so he did his best to distract you from your worries and thoughts. But he was running out of stories of Earth-221, interesting cases, and discussion topics to tell.

Barry had sped in a couch for you and Sherloque to sit in as you waited for Harry to make an appearance. The detective calmly sipped at his new flavored tea, one that you had provided. Wild Raspberry Hibiscus. You blinked the sleep from your eyes, willing yourself to be alert. You had already consumed 4 cups of coffee with espresso yesterday, but those sleepless nights were slowly pushing against you. The two of you sat in silence with only the hums of working electricity and noises from the DCM.

“I zhink,” Wolfgang took a step back from the computer monitor, “I should retire for zhe nacht.” The German took off his glasses and rubbing his closed eyes. Es war eine mühsame Aufgabe, aber sie musste erledigt werden. “I’ve reprogrammed zhe system in order for it to catalog incoming Vells automatically.”

“I’ll keep my eye on it,” Sherloque piqued up, gesturing with his porcelain teacup to the DCM and subtly side glancing at you. Wolfgang only nodded at his doppelganger.

“Yeah, you should go rest. Sorry if it seemed like I was keeping you here,” you stood up and stretched, walking over to the German Wells.

“Nonsense, zhink of it as a favor to Harry,” Wolfgang waved off your statement. You offered your hand to the platinum-haired Wells which he shook gently before bidding your goodbyes to each other as he strode through the dimensional breach. Which reminds me. You scrunched your face and blinked a few times over then turned back to the seated detective.

“Sherloque, you don’t have to say here. You should go back home to Renee.”

“I- Comment puis-je lui dire? … Renee and I didn’t exactly work out. Encore.” You observed him as he set his teacup down, Sherloque chuckled sadly to himself. Je ne sais même pas pourquoi j’ai voulu recommencé ca va faire 8 fois.

“You deserve better. You really do, Sherloque. Love will find you.”

“Easy for you to say.”

“Hey, head up,” You found yourself sitting beside the now cynical man as you wrapped your arms around him in a comforting hug. “It could even literally run right into you one day when you least expect it. But it doesn’t mean you can run yourself ragged from sleep loss.” He sighed, shaking his head slightly and reciprocating the gesture of affection. You knew he had no problem with loving, it was the fact of having that love fully reciprocated without it becoming superficial.

“I cannot, I promised ‘arry I would not leave your side in zhe case zhat zhere would be some sort of delay on ‘is end.”

“He asked you to do that for me?”

“Oui”

“Do you think… something happened to him?”

“I wouldn’t worry. ‘e’s a capable and determined man, plus ‘e ‘as ‘is daughter wizh ‘im. Now come on, I believe zhe bozh of us deserve a change of scenery.”

“I’m feeling the need for Jitters coffee actually.”

You pulled said man off the couch and moved towards the direction of the door. Sherloque raised an eyebrow at you incredulously as he scrunched his nose in disgust at the prospect of coffee. “Coffee at zhis hour? Its 10 PM.”

“WHAT?”

“Well you’ve been on zhe Netflix entire time, peeping up every once and awhile to see if ‘arry come or not. I’m not surprised you lost track of time.”

“I guess I can drink some hot chocolate from the breakroom.”

“No need to get up,” Nash’s voice caused your head to snap up as he stepped into the Speed lab with a cup of hot chocolate in hand, “I figured you’ve had too much coffee in your clumsy existence within the past 12 hours.” In truth, Nash had made, dumped, and re-made hot chocolate 7 times in the past 2 hours because he had no idea on how you’d react when he’d make it. He had no idea why he impulsively decided to make one of your favorite drinks instead of letting you waste away at the prospect of coffee. The adventurer talked and scolded himself because you clearly don’t need him to help you out. You’re a capable, independent ditz after all with a war veteran of a boyfriend on the way. Although, Harry’s delay did ease the unsettling feeling in the pit of Nash’s stomach. Finally, the myth-buster had made a decision and added some peppermint extract to give it more flavor with some marshmallows. Fuck it, I’m going to do it anyway because… I secretly want to see her smile at me while it lasts. FuCk.

“I resent that statement, but I do thank you for the hot cocoa,” you hummed in contentment of the fresh brew. Nash saw the weight momentarily leave your shoulders and your body visibly relaxed. You saw him eye you oddly but chose to shake it off as you took another long sip. “Mm, I never got to ask, but have you met any vampires?”

“What?”

“Vampires. You said you weren’t one and I obviously know that, but I’m intrigued if you’ve encountered any on your travels through the multiverse. Cisco accidentally met one when he saved Breacher a year ago.”

“Do you always come up with bizarre questions to ask?” Nash poked your cheek as the three of you moved back to the couch. You batted his hand away. Sherloque baby blue eyes followed the banter between

“I don’t know if I should take it as a compliment or a criticism.”

“Take it as you will. I honestly don’t care.”

“Well?” You asked with furrowed eyebrows as you were seated in between Sherloque and Nash on the couch. You blinked a few times and shook your head a bit.

“Well, what?”

“Have you caused any trouble with any vampire?”

“Why is it that you think that I always cause trouble?” Nash countered your question with his own. He ignored the mockingly smug look on Sherloque’s face.

You shot Nash a look before retorting and Sherloque held in a laugh. “I’m not even going to answer that, Nash.” Nash stammered a bit before succumbing to that determined look on your face, the sparkles hidden in your eyes as they twinkled with curiosity.

“There was this one time-”

“-I knew it!-”

“-Would you let me finish before judging?” He lightly scolded you as you took another sip of your hot cocoa, your head started to throb against the hardness of your skull. “Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted,” but you did not look in the least regretful, “this was before I met Maya. I had… overheard in a tavern on a dark Earth rumors of the Alexandrite Crown or better known in the dark legends as the Queen’s Crown. A crown thistled with alexandrite gems but infused with Thallium and Platinum. Poisonous according to the naturally occurring substances on that Earth.”

Nash continued painting the pictures to his adventure and his encounter with a Vampire Clan in a clash over the Alexandrite Crown and the mystical way of obtaining Chrysolite in order to cleanse it from the noxious spirit that’s locked away within. You hung onto each word as you pushed away the blurriness in your vision and the hazy state of your mind. With each second your head got heavier, feeling like lead and your eyes threatened to droop, but you needed this distraction from worrying about Harry’s wellbeing. Taking one deep breath, you shut your eyes as your body went out of commission. The geological adventurer breathed a sigh of relief, lowering his voice to a stop as your head gently lolled to the side, resting against Sherloque’s shoulder. Both men observed your breathing pattern relax to soft puffs of air.

“Sleeping powder, impressive and you even stalled until it took effect. Maybe zhere’s hope for you just yet,” Sherloque smugly spoke up as he readjusted you to rest your head onto his lap.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nash narrowed his blue irises at the detective.

“Non, nozhing. What else did you bring?”

“Huh? What-I didn’t-”

“I’m a detective Nash, I notice zhe most miniscule of things. Bring over zhe pillow and blanket you ‘ave ‘idden in zhe vacant room beside zhe corridor.”

“How did you…?”

“Skill, mon ami. Skill. Just because I’m not in your ‘ead does not mean zhat I cannot see zhrough your pure intentions.”

Nash sighed in defeat as he pulled up the blanket and pillow. He first covered you with a fluffy blanket, ensuring that he would not meet Sherloque’s eyes. “She gets cold when she falls asleep.”

“And zhe pillow?”

Nash handed his doppelganger the pillow, who placed it on his lap before setting your head on it to sleep comfortably. “You already know so I’m not going to even say anything.”

The detective quirked a teasing, but knowing eyebrow at the explorer, “Be honest wizh yourself, what prompted you to essentially drug her?”

“Okay, with the way you’re saying it, you’re sounding as if I’m going to do vile things to her. And you know what? I’m not going to even pretend to not be offended by that.”

“Well in reality you technically did drug her, but zhat’s beside zhe point.”

“She hasn’t been sleeping well. You know it. I know it. Hell, everyone on Team Flash noticed, but no one had the will to reprimand her to take a day to rest.”

“You mean ‘zhe ‘eart’ to.”

“Whatever!-”

“-Shh!-”

“-The little lady needed to sleep. She can’t be running herself ragged while making sure everyone around her stays safe and healthy.”

“Zhat’s very noble of you, Nash. C’est ironique, non? Elle ne peut pas être tienne mais tu ne peux pas t’empêcher de désirer quelque chose que tu ne peux pas avoir.” Ta logique t’a réprimandé pour avoir préféré profiter d’un instant avec tes amis. Tu vas devoir apprendre à t’en contenter.

“What did you just say?”

“Nozhing!” Sherloque just gave the other man a mysterious smile as he took off his fedora and tossed it onto a spare and vacant table on the side. “You know it’s nozhing to be ashamed of, right? Caring about ‘er and ‘er safety, zhat’s what zhis team does to a person. It doesn’t make you weak. You should know zhat by now.”

“…”

“You just need to know not to tip over zhe line.” Sherloque knew his doppelganger didn’t like being deduced, didn’t like his actions thoroughly analyzed to told what and how he was feeling. But sometimes, he needed a little push in the right direction by the detective in order to fully face the intentions behind his actions. That was one of Nash’s flaws. The ability to push aside all the pain and emotions behind current actions in a little box and thrown out the window in order to press on with the adventures that he lived on. Sherloque had discretely gone through some of his recent memories and noticed it occur with not just you and Allegra, but with the members of Team Flash as well.

“I know what I’m doing,”

“Zhen I believe you have some… patching up to do wizh a certain teenager.”

“She’s not a teenager, she’s a young adult.”

“All in zhe same wizh ‘ow she was acting.”

Nash left with a slight huff as he had every intention of turning in for the night, mentally contemplating a few things. Rubbing his eyes, the explorer took one glance back from where he stood in the corridor. He dismissed the skilled detective’s words, but yours had echoed in his mind. The detective reclined back on the couch, his own mind wandering in the depths of his own nightmares and regrets. He took one look at you before shaking his head. Sherloque smirked as his ears perked up to familiar sounds causing the detective to tilt his head back.

“Eh bien il était temps”

German and French Translation:

Deux - Two

Mh, une distraction semble être de mise - Hm, a distraction seems to be necessary right now

Il n’y a pas de mal à partager des histoires – There’s no harm in sharing some stories.

Qu’est ce qui retarde Harry? - What is taking Harry so long?

Comment puis-je lui dire? – How do I say this?

Encore – Again

Je ne sais même pas pourquoi j’ai voulu recommencé ca va faire 8 fois – I don’t know why I tried an 8th time.

C’est ironique, non? Elle ne peut pas être tienne mais tu ne peux pas t’empêcher de désirer quelque chose que tu ne peux pas avoir – It is ironic, no? Even though she cannot be yours your heart can’t help but to secretly desire something dangerous

Ta logique t’a réprimandé pour avoir préféré profiter d’un instant avec tes amis. Tu vas devoir apprendre à t’en contenter. – Your logical mind scolded you to relish with your friendship instead. Something you will have to learn to become content with.

Eh bien il était temps - Well it’s about time.

Mon Ami – My friend

Stück für Stück – Bit by bit

Es war eine mühsame Aufgabe, aber sie musste erledigt warden - It was a tedious task, but it needed to be done

Gott sei Dank bin ich es nicht – Thank God I didn’t

Schatz – sweetheart

Petit Fleur – Little Flower

[makaris]

Let’s discuss voting.

I want a just, fair and moral world. If our choices become Biden vs. Trump, I want to discuss how people interested in a better world can strategically vote for the best possible future.

I implore any #Bluenomatterwho folks to read my thoughts before responding. I know it’s a lot, but I can assure you that *I am far from alone in how I feel*, and I am looking for serious, political strategy discussion. If that is even possible.

We should all know by now that Biden has shown immense capacity to do damage. He has and will continue to be on the wrong side of many, very important issues. He has shown that he can and will work with republicans to pass THEIR agenda, not the lefts. He cannot be relied on to do the bear minimum we expect from democrats (which is, reining in the worst excesses of the right).

He will be a more effective greaser of the military industrial complex then Trump, who actually varies quite a bit from war-hawk orthodoxy, on occasion. Biden will continue to engage in genocides in the Muslim world.

Biden might be able to bring us back to the standards of the Paris climate accord, which were wholly insufficient for anything other then optics. The world will burn either way.

Just today, Biden said that even if M4A passed the house and senate, he’d veto it. During a pandemic, he would veto it. The health care plan he wants to implement leaves 10 million people uninsured, and that is before he caves to Republicans and chops it down to nothingness.

...There are like a million things. I could go on, but I'm sure anyone actually interested can look it up.

On the flip side, a Trump 2nd term is also very scary for a number of reasons I probably do not need to spell out for anyone even nominally on the left.

The point is, Democratic establishment NEEDS to be overthrown. That is, BY FAR, the most important thing here. They are the #1 obstacle to our agenda. For anyone interested in passing progressive policy, I do not understand how them casting a vote for Biden would help.

I'm seeing two options here.

VOTE FOR BIDEN ... and *inevitably* lose to Trump anyway. We then will have to deal with the ramifications of that WHILE ALSO having sent a message to the Dem establishment that their candidate was sufficiently acceptable for us to vote for them. Which, if they even care about holding on to power, is all they care about. Their primary strategy has been "fuck the progressives, what other choices do they have". And all I hear from #Bluenomatterwho folks is "that sucks but it's true... what other choice do we have?"

So after the above, we come to the mid-terms and then 2024. Whatever candidate the left tries to push forward (AOC, likely), will be smeared and denigrated the same as Bernie, and I'm not sure they will be able to rally as much support as Bernie did. Bernie, need I remind, 1) Raised the most money, by far. 2) Had the most donors, by far. 3) Had the largest operation, by far. 4) Had the most diverse coalition, by far. If that can be swept aside by The Machine's propaganda, I don't know how we have any hope at all. This sucks, everything sucks.

VOTE THIRD PARTY The Democrats NEED to get the message that if they do not EARN our support, they will not HAVE it. Voting third party might be our only hope in achieving this.

Honestly, I've only just begun exploring this as an option, and I'm still trying to inform myself more about it. I know that, historically, it has not worked out. Not even close. BUT, with boomers dying off (grim, but electorally significant), the internet, and the right candidate to rally around, I think getting a true Labor party might be possible. Maybe.  

What sucks for a Labor party is that the Democrats will still suck a lot of energy out of the room. Most of our possible figure heads (again, AOC, Ilhan Omar, Ro Khanna, etc) are pretty firmly in the democrat camp and would not be able to switch. And, so far, I have not heard anything about anyone who could lead the movement after Bernie AND who would be willing to work outside the system.

However, EVEN IF a Labor party is impossible, that does not rule out the value of voting third party in 2020. It means you showed up, and voted anyway. It tells the establishment that you are A Voter. Someone who counts, as is winnable.

Imagine if 15% showed up and voted third party? Yes, Trump would probably win. But, if we are being honest, he is going to win (vs. Biden) anyway. If Biden got OBLITERATED, it might be the kick in the pants the democrats need to realign, refocus, and start listening to the working class again. Maybe.

I guess, after writing all that, my thoughts right now are... -- If, right before voting, the polls are extremely narrow between Biden and Trump AND and you are in a swing state... if *BOTH* of those things are true, you may want to consider a vote for Biden. -- In ANY OTHER CASE, for third party.

Things are not looking good right now. Writing this out is most therapy for me, but I am interested in other folks views on this. I am firmly against brow beating #Bluenomatterwho rhetoric, as I feel it is a tone deaf reduction of what is a very complicated situation. The left needs to get smarter politically, more strategic. 

We cannot just do what we are told.

[tarithenurse]

On my mind, in my soul - 9

Prompt: Got three things to go by on this from Anon: “Ghost rule” (cover/translation by jubyphonic), Asgard, a necklace. Pairing: Loki x Burglar!reader. Content: Cussing, angsting, illness, mention of death etc., family quarrels. All in all a lovely, uplifting chapter once again :P A/N: Well...I caved in and that means you get the full chapter now...let’s see how long before the requirements are met for the next. If you LIKE what you read: please reblog! Or comment? Or send me hugs? (Puppies are also accepted)

The value of a life

I guess I really can’t dodge it this time No law to pardon my crime, no clemency for this evil of mine

Of course, Heimdal had warned the All-Father. A host of Einherjar were standing ready with cuffs, chains, and golden spears the moment Loki’s feet touched solid ground. They’d been rougher than strictly necessary, shoving him to his knees before binding him with magically sealed restraints. Thor couldn’t do much to prevent it unless he wanted to make the situation worse, and besides, the brothers had promised to remain passive throughout this endeavour. Yes, breaching banishment was bound to have certain consequences.

Shoved forwards with both weapons and hard gazes at his back, Loki’s reminded of a similar scene, but this time he makes sure not to smile or talk out of turn, waiting instead till he’s right at the bottom stairs of the throne before sinking to his knees without being ordered to. Maybe it’s the sight of the fallen prince, or perhaps the fact that having Loki around always meant trouble for some one, either way a murmur ripples through the audience that has managed to gather even with the short warning.

An echoing boom of metal against stone silences the room. “Loki Laufeyson,” Odin’s voice holds a tired curiosity, “why have you returned from your banishment, knowing that the penalty might be death?”

As long as another life will be spared. Finally lifting his head to face the man he once thought of as his father, Loki feels the old resentment begging to roil inside once more. Everyone’s waiting for it, expecting him to lash out verbally with that silver tongue which has won him friends and enemies alike. Even Thor, standing next to the throne, is keeping a watchful eye on the slender figure prone on the floor.

“I accept any consequences of my transgression, All-Father,” the words taste like bile but have to be spoken clearly, “and you may do with me as you see fit…I only wish to save an innocent life.”

A few snorts of disbelief can be heard through the grand hall, still Loki keeps quiet. Green eyes locked with one of pale blue, watering with age and seeking compensation through the aid of watchful spies. Seconds pass, long as a lifetime, and already the prodigal son fears it’ll be too late. A glance to Thor is noticed and scrutinized by their father.

“So you’ve found compassion for the Midgardians now? Hmmm?” Odin’s eyepatch wobbles as the white brows lift. “Tell me then…who do you intend to save?”

“Admittedly only one for now.” Even to himself, the plea sounds hollow. “A maiden whom I unwittingly put in harms way when trying to achieve the opposite.”

“One?”

“One.”

Loki’s knees are starting to ache against the stones, tempting him to reposition ever so slightly under the scrutinizing gaze of the King. He’s had worse, endured crippling pain far beyond the discomfort he now feels, and so he remains motionless save for the eyes that return the stare unwaveringly.

“Thor?” Odin commands without shifting his attention.

The God of Thunder was not one for convoluted speech when growing up in Asgard. Although he studied as a prince should under the careful eyes of Frigga and the many tutors, the more physically inclined boy preferred to put his intellect to different uses than poring over books more than absolutely necessary. Loki used to be annoyed by it, but today…today he rejoices with each simple sentence the brother utters, detailing the events since the phone call to Stark from Loki. Even as he bluntly describes the medical situation of the woman who’s nothing but a stranger to anyone else.

Silence fills the hall when Thor has finished. Odin himself shows a sliver of surprise and has very few questions for the broad warrior before sinking into thought. Make up your mind, old man! Not a word passes Loki’s lips. He can’t risk angering the All-Father, the ruler of Asgard who protects the realm and its people viciously from outsider.

“You bargain your freedom and life in exchange for hers?”

“Yes.” No waver.

A low hum escapes Odin while he thinks. “And…even if there is nothing to be done to save her, you will accept your sentence?”

Not before she’s safe. “Yes.”

Although “no” is what I meant, I gave a “yes” and lied yet again

…   Reader’s PoV   …

The entire world is moving, tipping and spinning around you without having any impact on your stability on the slippery ice. Faintly, you remember the idea that wherever you are isn’t the real world, but how can that be? Already, you can sense the beckoning carried on the icy winds, the urge driving you on instead of letting the stickiness take you down into the dark. Hasn’t that always been the life you’ve known?

Deciding not to care about the odd jostling of the world, you carry on slowly. As you navigate through patches of greedy tendrils, you feel how they hold on tighter…pull harder. It even looks as though more of them appears and begin to invade the relative safety of the ice. No! They can’t hold you back, the musn’t. Because somewhere at the end of the path is a golden chain set with small stones and it’s calling for you.

…   Loki’s PoV   …

Odin doesn’t allow Loki to be there when [Y/N] arrives, and it’s only Thor’s shameless pleading (mixed with a bit of logic) that secures a corner view in the Healing Chambers.

By Mirmir’s head! Every curse and worrying comment is bit back in fear that the silver tongue will land Loki in trouble…or the Midgardian. It’s evident how taxing the journey has been. Each breath is laboured now, rattling the normally gorgeous chest, yet nothing seems to come off it: face sickly pale; prominent, dark veins marring the soft skin; and a fever that rages through her body with a force that fills the entire room. One glance at Thor is enough to solidify the concern.

…

Time passes slowly, each minute reflected in the glittery particles of the Soul Forge’s projection. Even the physicians, Idunn and Eir, wear grim expressions as they work their skill and magic to battle the poison eating the patient from within. Loki can barely make sense of their words, too lost in thought and consumed by a disconcerting worry that he dares not voice yet. Just let her live.

“No, we can’t, there’s not enough.” Idunn’s brows are pulled down to the nose as she examines the data hovering above the patient.

The other healer doesn’t relent. “Maybe some o–“

“Who?!”

The one word’s sharp enough for a guard to wince, his spear brushing uncomfortably near Loki who’s trying to get an idea of what the women are arguing about. A donor? Well, the options are limited, and whatever [Y/N] is in need of has to be something any healthy Asgardian must apparently possess since the physicians are discussing it at all.

“I volunteer.” Five spears realign at Loki’s calm voice.

Stalking past the exam table, Idunn takes in the ex-prince’s form properly for the first time since his arrival. “Clearly, despite your intellect, you’ve not realized that we’re referring to a full blood transfusion,” she explains curtly, “replacing all of the girl’s blood.”

“Do it.”

Brown eyes are boring into cold blues. “We’d have to verify if you’re a match.”

“Do it.”

“Using just one donor could be lethal…for the donor.”

There’s no hesitation. No waver in the answer. “Do it.”

“Brother!” For all of Loki’s sharp senses, he’d forgotten the blond, bumbling idiot of a Thunder God still was there. “You cannot do this!”

“Why not?!” Again the guard flinches. “Tell me, why I shouldn’t! My freedom, maybe my life, is forfeit either way! Let it at least be used for one good deed before your father does whatever he pleases with it.”

Thrusting his hands forward, manacles chafing against the skin, Loki presents the vulnerable insides of the elbows the best he can.

…

Perhaps this isn’t so bad after all. The darkness of the marring, prominent veins is already lessening, leaving Loki to believe that he can see a healthy luster returning to [Y/N]’s delicate skin even from where he’s lying in a neighbouring Soul Forge.

“I must admit,” Odin’s voice shifts the adoptive son’s attention, “that your action moves me.”

“I’m not doing it for you.”

Maybe Thor wants to say something, his mouth opening and closing as he rolls slowly on his feet. Swaying. Lulling. Must keep my eyes open. It’s getting difficult already. A tiredness is invading Loki’s body as the pumps work to withdraw blood from both subjects, only pumping it into one afterwards. This is not how the Asgardian had expected it to end, complacent and filled with regrets.

“If this should be your last deed, my son, then I will remember you more fondly than I once feared I would have to.” The voice is distant, with a cotton-like quality to it as it seeps through the dimming lights.

Go ahead and judge away, I chose to be this kind of person anyway

…   Reader’s PoV   …

The dream’s fading, becoming nothing more than a fuzzy memory of desperation and a longing for something that you don’t even recall anymore save for a glittery eye of a tiger. It had been so important to reach it, but did you actually succeed in the end? Whatever it is that had been so vital, it’s not in your hand as you try to move it, fingers fumbling over soft silk and lungs filling wonderfully with clean air scented with honey. It’s like breathing life, and a tiny content sigh escapes you.

Soothing but insistent, your senses come back for full power, and despite the soft bed, it’s hard to find comfort in your body and mind: one is tingling as though every part has been asleep and is now waking with pins and needles, the other is flooded with fragmented recollections of a hand-over gone wrong. Very wrong.

You push yourself upwards against a wooden headrest with a groan, eyes blinking to stop the room around you from swimming away in a haze, and you spot a figure sitting in a chair. Broad shoulders hunched forward and elbows resting on the knees to leave the hands hanging loosely folded.

“So…you wake,” is all Thor says before getting up and leaving, ignoring your stunned reaction.

…

You’ve been bathed and dressed in a pretty yet antique-ish dress. Even fed. But no one has bothered explain to you what has happened and why you’re here in Asgard. That’s where I am, right? Following a guard in golden armour, you’re being led through impressive halls with statues, murals, and tapestries the likes of which you’ve only seen it the best museums and private collections. It’s not until the enormous double doors open that you realize you’re on your way to the throne to meet the king. Odin.

All the curiosity you’d felt is twisted into a nausea-inducing anxiety as you pass pillars and people lining the length of the room, all standing silently watching. At each carved stone reaching high above are more guards, but it’s the silently moving shadows at the walls that prevent you from breathing further than the top of the sternum and recognising Thor next to the throne does nothing to compensate. Where’s Loki? He’s got to be around somewhere, but you can’t find him and all too soon you’re at the dais and have to kneel with eyes fixed on the floor.

“[Y/N] [Y/L/N].” Where does Odin know my name from? “It is imperative that you understand how seldom it is for an outsider to be brought here…let alone a simple Midgardian.” There’s a poorly veiled insult there, but this is not the time to pick a fight and you choose to nod instead. “Still…here you are.” Was that a sigh? “My adoptive son Loki came and pleaded for the best physicians to treat you in the hope your life could be saved. He came…although he had been banished from this realm…”

The king continues for much longer than you find necessary, especially focusing on the infinite benevolence of him as a king and the Asgardian prowess on pretty much every single field of science, history, and diplomacy. The few stolen glances reveal nothing to be out of the ordinary, and you presume this must be the normal way for the aging monarch to address anyone in court.

Eventually, Odin reaches the end and waits for you to express your gratitude for the lifesaving treatment he has extended to you, a pathetic human (not his actual words, but same point). Of course, you sing his and Asgard’s praises. To begin with.

“Your majesty, if I may…” You try to sound confident as you meet his eyes. Eye. “Where’s Loki? I’d like to thank him.”

Tell them who I really am, Since everything I know’s about to meet its end

[ch3mical5]

Series of lost

This is a chronological series of excerpts of poetry and journal entries that all relate to one another, or have some sort of thread connecting them all. Most are self fulfilling prophecies... go figure.

— late 2013—

I can’t have a sense of belonging with anyone anymore. I will always be detached... never integrated.

Before I would exercise a charisma that everyone appealed to, but nowadays it’s different... as I slowly coming to grips with the parts of me that are indeniable.

People want that charisma, they want to open up and feel as if they can resonate with someone. But they haven’t realized sounds only echo in empty caves.

— 5/2014—

I ache at the potential of old friends. Burnt bridges. How much better things could have been, how much grander life itself would be...

The fact of the matter is I am the one who set fire to a screaming child who was afraid to let go. But now when I look down, I see his burn marks.

Such a horrible pain and regret at such a young, formidable age. A wound without closure. You were the friend who helped me stand against the world. Only for me to push you to the ground and begrudgingly walk away. You were my greatest and most valued friend. To which I am now ruined, because now I know I will never have such a relationship like that again.

— 7/22/2014—

I visit Alister’s grave.

His body was lifeless, suspended by some invisible force within an open casket. The casket is made of roots and wrap his body like a rib cage.

Ironic, because ribs protect our vital organs.... yet, vital is an unnecessary word considering how I’ve been surviving.

Am I surviving? Or am I just wasting away? Soon I will fade into the background of the very reality that holds me together.

— 8/2014—

A new encounter taking me by surprise. Out of the calm eastern sea, a lion crawled from its depths. A giant, just, and ever most intimidating... yet fain, and fearful.

An innocent air, curious... cunning... open. I could see in its eyes a whole new perception, different than its kind.

— 8/2014—

The ocean girl. Harlen. I await for her. I can hear her presence through the air... she is out there in the ocean gracefully walking upon its surface.

I fear sailing, drowning, just to reach her.

Life is water, you can drown in it very easily.

Idealism... a downfall. But a tool. A futuristic sense, blinding us to the present. Insight detached from reality. While life can drown us, our dreams can suffocate us. Because reality is like our air.

Such perception is unnatural, but I suppose we all have our gifts.

I will be consumed eventually with something, and everyday I must fight being eaten alive. Consumed with an idealism shrouding ourselves with hopes and dreams that will amount to what?

Nothing.

— 9/2014—

There is a peace within belonging and a remorse about those behind. And an anxiety about the love that will unfold in the future.

The lions folly is entertaining, giving me a glimmer of hope. Yet something else is tugging at my heart that I am scared of.

I now know the answer.

I am scared of love. Maybe easy, but ambivalence rules infinity. And the end of infinity is certainty. I am never certain, and I don’t want to inflict pain. It scares me, but I’d rather bare others pain than my own.

Scared of loosing myself, my values. Slowly I am already seeing how Harlen will affect my future.

— 10/2014–

We will all lose ourselves. All we are will be lost, and we’ll realign ourselves to who we need to become. Needs become desperation’s, and desperation’s will destroy you.

Even in belonging and freedom you will feel the sting. Because liberty lies in death. Life confines my selfish tendencies that all humans are born with, such blunt rashness will take away my humanity... and become something entirely different.

All that is holding myself back is me. I am chained to this world. The realm no one desires to see. This existence forces me to be alone and want nothing but liberance.

Deliver me from my hell.

I am lost because I am found. Found by those I wish my future hold, but lost to know nothing will change.

I am scared of hope and loosing hope, but parts of me are starving to reanimate itself. I am horrified to see all this play. As aggravating as it is to watch, my character is deceiving, and the actor is truly psychotic.

— 2016? —

A new set of eyes pulls the metal tighter around the chain in my heart. I stand in wait to see how I’ll be strangled. Questioning if this is the monsters bite of if it’s just me being consumed with this tourchuous mind of mine.

—4/2017–

A tragic thing it is to start this page with stains. I guess it’s sad because when things lose their potential to be beautiful that thing loses who they were trying to become. The future self dies and all that was needs reformation. All that is... is now something completely different.

Just like ink on a page, life stays with you. No matter how much you shut your eyes.... because your other four sense will capture the sins and transgressions. My mouth I am washing with coffee and my hands I am soaking with soap. But I can still smell the oil of your skin and I can still taste the salt that lines you flesh.

Am I alone? Or am I surrounded by lights and alcohol, designed to blind out my consciousness and leave the only thing holding me together in the dark.

— late 2017—

I’ve been guilty my whole life. Maybe only recently I have reason for the feeling, but it was birth that planted this seed in my chest, it’s roots have been burrowing down through my sternum. They fill the empty space in my lungs and crowd the pulsing of my heart.

Maybe my tears are just my blood getting pushed out as the roots occupy more and more space in my body. And the blood the fishes from my nose is it’s warning sign of the chronic internal hemorrhages.

Something predestined. The guilt that had driven me to feel alone, disconnected, yearning to connect. But human connection is nothing but a mere mirage. Yet I year for it. I know what path I set down long before I fell.

—2018–

Where does my future go?

It seems to be caught up in the past... what ever self discovering it destructing elements that I have made, sentimentally haunting me for the rest of my life.

The chronic fear of loss... where did you come from? The only place left to look is way with in... the scary thing that I found. The one gem that would be a stone from Hell. Forged from my blood. The blood of a sinner.

—late 2018–

It’s the silence that speaks to me. Maybe because I know what it feels like to have air run its fingers through the hair of vocal chords, but all that comes out are inaudible whispers. I understand that frustration... when your lips can’t shape the sounds. Sounds that are your only way out of this hell.

You have the key and the lock is in front of you. But you are paralyzed. Maybe from the unknown that is beyond the door you are about to open.

All the monsters you’ve seduced into this door... locked away... will come out like you’ve prophesied long ago. In some demonic vision that’s plagued your entire life...

Would speaking be that bad? Even when you’ve chilled around the fragile frame just to get around to avoid opening that damn lock.

If I can’t open it... I will never hear your precious silence... would anyone else ever even consider it?

Would your silence compile and grow until it became tangible?

—2019–

I’m a child born with a scar on his heart. Each subsequent brush with depression would incise more and more tissue... causing more scar tissue to fill it’s place... just to be more callous and numb. Yes, that was my destiny. And it’s what I’ve become.

[a-robin-among-thorns]

In The Shadows of the Rising Sun: Chp 9

Chapters 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7 , Chapter 8

Once again so sorry for the delay on the chapter its been really crazy on my end. My sister had a baby, I got a new job and just the holiday to name a few ^^;

Chapter 9: Alone Together

Word Count: 2,210

Chise was hasty but diligent as she checked the apartment’s vacancy, silently thankful for the absurd lengths her cousin stretches out her business ventures. Seconds after the door clicks shut Elias emerged from the shadows in a rush and Chise sighed in relief. Although he had been present all day his long bony face is a sight for sore eyes. The sentiment was one he evidently shared for as soon as he was solid again he cupped her cheek in his right palm in almost reverent gentleness. He echoed her sigh, his breath sweeping over her red face in a rush, fanning the tips of her hair between his fingers.

It was so strange to be so sure that his feelings were exactly the same as hers. She blinked slowly, caught in the moment and hypnotized by his earnest gaze. The pads of his fingers fit in the curves of her jaw like she had done when she awoke beside him. She absently wondered if he recalled the action from his subconscious.

Belatedly, Chise pursed her lips and gripped her book bag tighter. If she wanted any hope of finishing her three days of math, not to mention her other subjects, she would have to start soon.

Her books spilled across the coffee table in a series of dull thuds. Fortunately, both science and history were reading assignments and the professors would never call on her if their lives depended on it. English was similar, translate and transcribe a paragraph of your choice from the provided kabuki play passages from hiragana to informal English. She normally dreaded this process, but her past days of constant English moved the work from a sluggish crawl to a leisurely walk.

All the while Elias hung just to the side of her. Although he sat corporally, he took the role of her shadow, all the same. Entranced in her movements eyes following where she goes, silent but ever-present.

Once the last character was redrawn as a letter she grumbled knowing it could be ignored no longer. Consulting her yellow sticky note, Chise split open the algebra textbook and set to work.

The process was slow and grueling. Finicky obnoxious measurements slowly scratched out to produce something that looked like effort went into it. She hated math on the best of days, this stupid fake math that can’t even be bothered to use numbers makes her want to pop a vein. But something about this assignment, aside from its extended length, grated at her nerves.

When it came down to it no matter how hard she would work on this assignment she would never understand it. She would work stressfully for several extra hours and receive a grade only slightly less abysmal than if she turned in nothing. It felt so pointless to toil and struggle for someone who wouldn’t pay her a passing glance. Who acted disgusted when she asked for help.

A hot gruff groan built in her chest and slipped through ground teeth, burning her nostrils. Distractedly she adjusted her bangs harshly and repositioned against the coffee table. In her shuffling, she didn’t hear Elias shuffle closer, peering over her shoulder. She jumped slightly when his hand slipped past her, the plum pad of his finger landing in between the unknown X and a pair of parenthesis.

“This one needs to be applied to all of the numbers inside the curves. It’s not a number, but it can still act like one.” He said simply. No trace of judgment or impatience could be found in his voice.

Her eyes followed his hand as he retracted. When their faces fell on each other he made a small nod in gentle urging. Her gaze returned to the paper. It couldn’t hurt. Slowly she applied his suggestion, more came as she worked, and the picture became clearer and clearer.

“Don’t forget to add and subtract this value because there are two possible answers.” She did just that and wrote out what had to be the closest thing to a properly done solution she had ever written. Another sigh spilled out, not of frustration but relief.

She leaned back on her elbow to look up at him fondly. “How do you understand math so well?”

His eyes crinkled in that glowing smile she had come to recognize. “When working with the fae, especially finicky ones, one must understand proportions and numbers. Even across different understandings. Many humans have met their end by accidentally slighting a proud spirit.” She chuckled at this, the absurd image of a faerie angrily stabbing at a calculator coming to mind.

As they worked together the heat of her frustration subsided. Her jaw relaxed and her breathing became less forced as her effort no longer felt futile. One after one they marked off the assigned problems until all 30 questions have a line struck through them.

The textbook closed with a satisfying thump as she brought the halves together like a grateful prayer. “Thank you for helping me. I couldn’t have done that on my own.”

His head tilted, “What have you done then?”

She shrugged, “I just turn in the best I can figure out.”

Elias looked back to the book between her hands. “And your teacher does nothing if you haven’t learned it?” He questioned.

“Pretty much.”

He was quiet at this looking pensive. As Chise began to put her work away the English assignment caught her eye reminding her of their conversation at lunch. “Would you like to look at this assignment with me? I can start teaching you Japanese.”

How could someone incapable of moving their face smile so plainly? “I would like that.”

He resettled again as she fished out the dictionary. “It’ll kind of be working backwards,” she mused aloud realizing the difficulty laid in front of her. “I’m probably not a very good teacher.” She admitted sheepishly.

“Any teacher is better than nothing.” He pauses, “Better than the teachers you have by the sound of it.” Chise stuttered unsure what to say when her attention snapped to the door and her heart stopped.

Tapping heels resounded through her eardrums like bass drums. In their shuffling the rattling of keys had been lost. Reina fidgetted through her purse and Chise and Elias were petrified as she looked up to the living room. Then back down at her purse.

She frowned and looked up again to Chise alone. She blinked in bewilderment looking to and fro as she skeptically walked forward. The frown on Reina’s face wanted to set in deep but her face was too confused to do so. “Were you...talking with someone? I could have sworn I heard…”

“I was just reciting my English,” Chise interjected forcing the most natural tone she could muster, “we have to read our translation aloud in class.”

Her cousin’s dark red lips pressed together disdainfully as her eyes searched the room. But nothing was disturbed, no exit could be that quick. And there is nowhere to hide in the barren apartment.

“Is...something wrong?” Chise probed in hopes of invoking her pride.

Reina’s posture realigned, regaining its commanding indifference as she unknowingly swallowed the bait. “No everything is fine.” She turned on her heels to place her purse on the kitchen counter. With her back turned, Chise steadily relaxed against the coffee table and stretched her fingers flat against the carpet. A warm shifting murmured against her palm, seeping between her digits.

“You spent a lot more than normal.” Reina’s sharp probing drew her out of the private moment. From the counter she stood with the remaining bills in hand, eyeing the child in her care like a hawk.

“I-i,” Chise gulped, mentally fumbling to come up with an explanation. “S-since it was my birthday Saturday I wanted to get something a little special.” Chise stutters, “Is that ok.”

Her predatory stare breaks as she blinks in realization. That had been this weekend, hadn’t it? “Um yeah, I guess.” She adds under her breath, “saves me from having to get a present.”

When Reina finally settled along the coffee table with takeout curry in hand, Chise felt as though she had lived through five separate heart attacks.

She was somewhat nauseous from the continuous back and forths but partook of her curry all the same. A few spoonfuls of spicy rice made the flip-flopping in her belly cease very quickly. The savory flavors danced on her tongue as she actually tasted a meal she should have been well familiar with. Although she would have happily devoured the entire container, a slight shift of her left hand reminds her to stop halfway.

As impatient an eater as she is everything else, Reina finished her rice soon after Chise and moved to throw away their containers.

Like a started rabbit Chise flung forward to guard her bowl from Reina’s grip, blocking her fingers from the plastic rim. Her brain catches up with her body as she slowly met her cousin’s eyes. Wide eyes narrowed like a bow pulled taunt, aimed at its kill. “What are you-“

“I was just wanting to save it for later,” Chise blurted, “maybe for breakfast.” She strained under the probing glare until Reina huffed and rolled her eyes. “Sure, that’s fine.” She sharply plucked her own bowl, standing in a fluid motion where Chise lay in her line of sight all the long way from the table to the trash. The timid clicking of the top and bottom of her plastic bowl resounded in the apartment as Chise watched Reina retire to her bedroom.

An eternity after Reina sealed herself in her bedroom the light under her doorway finally extinguished. A smaller eternity later, during which Chise showered and readied for bed, Elias had still not emerged from the shadows. From her futon, she ran her fingers all through the carpet. They met no resistance.  

Suddenly nervous, Chise looked over her shadow. No red lights.

Her throat constricts in anxiety. Her mouth suddenly very dry, she croaked out quietly, “Elias?” Nothing.

She sat up like a shot, searching frantically. Red hair whipped from side to side before swishing toward the small hallway. A thicker patch of darkness slithered from the direction of Reina’s bedroom. Her heart relaxed once the shadow knitted itself back into her strange friend. His jaw parted in oblivious confusion. “Is something wrong?”

“No, but...I didn’t know where you were.”

His posture relaxed as his jaw clacked together in understanding. “I needed to be sure she was asleep before I emerged.”

At this confession her insecurity quelled and she found herself feeling oddly guilty. And clingy.

She wrapped her arms around his torso letting the warmth of his body permeate the icy chamber of her lonely heart. He gasped and returned the gesture, tucking his long jaw against her back. A light rumbling sigh vibrated against her sternum.

A similar rumbling from his stomach reminded Chise of the earlier injustice, prompting her to reluctantly untangle herself and make for the fridge. She tried to hand Elias the container of remaining curry but he refused. “You need to eat more.”

She frowned. “But you haven’t had any.” She pushed it toward him again. He held his palm up to push it away. “You haven’t eaten enough.” His eyes bore into her stern and urging.

She huffed and relented, prying the container open as quietly as she could. She dipped her fork in for a few more bites and swallowed roughly. She rubbed her mouth against her fist. “There,” she shoved the container somewhat defiantly at his chest, “now you have the rest.”

Elias nodded and made quick and quiet work of the food.

She sighed harshly as he ate, before returning to the futon. Deliberately she lowered herself onto her back, hair splaying across the ground and staring at the ceiling. Her mind felt both restless and sluggish while she deliberated what she should say. But as he laid nest her on his side nothing she has thought of felt correct. Chise looked up to Elias with guilt still lingering in her eyes. “Elias,” she whispered, “I’m sorry you had to hide here too. And that I didn’t teach you as I promised.”

He stared at her for a moment before finally answering, “it's not your fault.”

She opened her mouth but choked on her words. Chise knew it would be polite, right, if she told him that he did not need to stay if he wished not to. That he did not need to be tied to a place where his actions and presence were so harshly limited. But she was terrified, horrified, that he would take up the offer and leave her as she was before. Leave her like everyone else. Leave her...alone.

“I’ll make sure we have time tomorrow.” She promised in a small voice.

He hummed in agreement. She was not the only one feeling needy she realized as Elias settled himself to lie against her, his head tucked along her neck and his left hand taking her right. As her hand clasped back comfort washed over them. Chise still wished they had been given more time today, but with each other held close, she could be held content until tomorrow.

[wistfulwisp]

for the tarot readings: a girl i dated in early high school has grouped up with a clique to spread rumors and ruin my relationships with people i value (when they're "exposing" me to my friends, it's through direct contact rather than rumors spread. when will this pass/how should i handle it? p.s. im still in high school so its a silly gossip thing but yikes i need some tarot guidance

sure thing @weepingbabe :)

reversed ten of cups: this card symbolizes the ending of a journey, but does show a slight disconnect between you and your friends. this card encourages you to work on rebuilding your relationships as well as taking a step back to realign yourself with what you really want in a friendship.

the sun: a card that represents everything good! happiness, warmth, optimism, sunshine! this is your inner voice card, so i’m guessing that this is the end goal, and once the issues addressed in the other card are solved, you’ll find yourself completely satisfied and able to move on from this situation.

thank you! feedback is always appreciated :)

[sportsminorityreport]

What is the deal with PAC expansion?

The PAC has “pretty much” invited San Diego State to join, and publicly flirted aggressively with Southern Methodist University.  They are deep into media negotiations, but they haven’t invited either school to join.

It has been gnawing at my brain at how weird that is.

Why wouldn’t you expand and then negotiate the media deal?

If you believe both schools belong in, you expand first.

If you don’t...well I guess you wait.

It just seems so bizarre to have a 6 month strained media negotiation and then when it’s finally over say,  “Well that was refreshing... Let’s do it again!”

(I get that a lot of the determination of value of SMU and SDSU is going on now, but still...)

But then I read something. 

It was a newsbag by John Wilmer talking about the potential departure of one of the two widely assumed to be leading candidates to join the Big 12, Arizona and Colorado.  

“Could one school cause the conference to fracture? If Colorado panicked and fled to the Big 12, would the others follow, prompting the Northwest schools to beg the Big Ten for invitations?

We aren’t convinced. The Buffaloes don’t have the clout or valuation to trigger a mass extinction event if the other Four Corners presidents believe Kliavkoff will deliver a satisfactory deal.

The Pac-12 could replace CU with San Diego State and roll on.“

Now that may sound tone deaf as Colorado is a fantastic research school on and entirely different level from SDSU, but Wilner doesn’t work for the PAC and he is probably tired of answering those types of questions.  One can forgive him for being snippy.

But Wilner is plugged in and the answer is likely THE ANSWER.

It is highly likely that a PAC leader (or several) went down that logic path and answered, likely in a more civil tone, “Well.. If Colorado and only Colorado left we would probably be forced to just back fill with SDSU.  In a world where we are looking for a replacement for USC, there is no finding an equal replacement.”

This also came out of a Wilner mailbag...

“Chance of expansion: 70% If expansion, chance of SDSU being added: 99% If expansion, chance of SMU being added: 85%”

What it all means.

I think the PAC schools’ leaders want SDSU in for recruiting to keep their coaches from collectively wearing them out over the loss of Southern California recruiting..

There is the question of whether the broadcast partners will pay an equal share for SDSU.   Anyone who looks at SDSU’s revenue sports will assume that they would....if they aren’t being cheap bastards.

Not a given.

That explains the 70% odds on expansion.

Now the PAC isn’t likely to go to add 1 school unless the partners won’t pay for SMU, UNLESS a school departs and they need SDSU for 10.  Then SMU is simply the odd man out.

Wilner has said his PAC people advise the PAC wants an even number of schools.

Jon Wilner is THE realignment guy on the west coast.  If we are hearing this stuff from him, it is highly likely someone presented it to him that way.

I do think an interesting scenario is IF CU wilts under fan pressure and returns to the Big 12....Does Colorado State suddenly join SMU as the schools the PAC choses in their NEXT round of  expansion --- likely 4 years from now?

Colorado state is immensely “PAC-like”...the only issue being CU is simply MORE “pac-like” and that likely hurts CSU as a candidate today in a market the PAC already has. But without CU?

(Now I think that is another reason I find it unlikely that CU leaves without Arizona.  The CU Chancellor JUST spelled out the academic benefits of the PAC for CU in great detail. Jumping to the Big 12 removes all those benefits and pushes their in state rival into that conference.  That could have CSU dramatically improving academically while CU treads water or regresses.)

All of this also suggests that an expansion to 14 is, as I suggested with the 16 team proposal, a difficult proposal for all the principles, even though 14+ with Rice and Tulane is the best conference option in terms of recruiting. 

[thesportssoundoff]

I was a guest on @cerealsensei and @theanticool‘s podcast when this story broke a few weeks ago so I’m tapped out on it overall but I do have some thoughts I guess:

1- The Consumer ALWAYS wins

It may pain you (and me) to say that but it's true. If flyweight could move numbers, we'd still have the division in the UFC. Consumers, the folks who don't read stuff like this or spend hours watching podcasts about MMA but put money in the sport, never seemed to gravitate to 125 lbs. Now we can debate the hows or the whys (and I have in the past on here) but that's irrelevant now. The division didn't draw and couldn't draw. The UFC once felt safe enough to make their SECOND every FX show be built primarily around the start of the flyweight division. They once liked Mighty Mouse enough that he was their Go To draw for Fox. Others have pointed out that we're in the era where content trumps names---and the UFC thought SO little of what flyweight did bring that even in an era where nothing matters, Flyweight had to go. Think about that. Flyweight was in my opinion a bit too soon for its time (the UFC rolled it out RIGHT as they were still integrating 135 lbs and 145 lbs) and their fanbase which was still getting used to this sudden influx of smaller guys had a tough time grasping that. This, in turn, was made worse by....

2- Mighty Mouse didn't kill the division....alone.

Demetrious Johnson may be the best pound for pound fighter to ever do this wacky sport. That never mattered. It never WILL matter.  Greatness is subjective and greatness doesn't always correlate to a financial payoff in the long run. Demetrious Johnson was probably the worst of the four choices the UFC could've gotten out of their opening tournament with Joe Benavidez, Ian McCall, Demetrious and Yasuhiro Urishitani. He was already slightly unpoular for wins over Kid Yamamoto and Miguel Torres and his run through the tournament saw him beat Ian McCall twice, once in controversial fashion, and then beat Mighty Mouse in a fight that Toronto soundly booed. When he became champ, it went from "The fans will eventually like him" to "the fans will get used to him as champion" to "Well he saves shows" to finally "WeIp we're stuck with him so shut up about it!" Demetrious is in many ways a victim of what he is; an average dude who happens to be really undersized and really amazing at fighting. I always found Demetrious to be poignant talking about fighting but he never struck me (or I guess anybody else) as the sort of personality who can carry a weight class. I remember one instance where he said Dave Sholler told him he should open up more and act like how he does when the cameras aren't on him and his first "joke" to Ariel Helwani was about how the only people who fight after hours in Vegas are him and people who beat their wives. It was cringy which I guess is sort of Johnson's overall problem with fans. He was cringy to some, obnoxious to others, nerdy to most and sort of unwanted to the party by all. It was a bad marriage and no attempts could save it. They went to Washington to try and spotlight him and it fell on its face. That's painful.

Now we can address the help he had in killing this thing. The UFC didn't promote it well and then got frustrated/complacent with Demetrious Johnson. It might not have saved anything but maybe a bit more effort would've helped on the back end. They could've tried and gone down swinging but they didn't. They accepted their fate pretty quickly with this division and decided to just ride the wave until it crashed. We as fans are responsible for not vehemently pushing him the way we rally around other guys. Demetrious Johnson is our Guillermo Rigondeaux which is unfortunate because while I see a ceiling for Mighty Mouse that limits him, he shouldn't be on the same level as the dude who made "HBO executives throw up in their mouths." Demetrious' finishing rate is among the best in the UFC, especially recently, but we sort of neglected that. We also never appreciated how busy he would be while other fighters and champions disappeared for months on end. There's a value to that. Also let's not act like a lot of us didn't groan for hours on end whenever Demetrious was announced as a headliner. We were unfair to him. The MMA media which took time out to remind the world of how small or skinny or how unpopular he was didn't help either. They helped wheel the narrative along. If the head of the division is so X, Y and Z then who is he beating? They must suck too, right? And then there are dudes like John Lineker, Ian McCall, Brandon Moreno, Luis Smolka, Brad Pickett and countless others who would get a little buzz and then either get hurt, lose right after or just disappear entirely.

3- Remember the humans here.

I hate to be all "Think of the children!" but a large number of pro fighters just lost their jobs. That's a part of the fight game of course but most of them are losing these jobs due to how tall they are (or aren't). Men with families/bills/homes so on so forth are now out of work and that's awful. These are real life humans having to lose their opportunity to make money to support themselves. There's no easy fair and simple way to write that off as a minor casualty of MMA's realignment.  Take it one step further, the UFC is essentially telling smaller dudes that they don't want them anymore. Fighters in turn can look around the market and see that the other top two orgs may not be interested either. Bellator has shown zero propensity to find a way to get a 125 lb male weight class going (and I'd imagine Coker sat in those meetings and heard what was said/saw numbers) and the PFL I don't believe has a long term focus there either. Not every fighter dreams of having to fight overseas to make ends meet---so there's a good chance this move will cost MMA talent over the long haul. A lot or a little will be the question I guess but neither one is a very glamorous concept. Less fighters in the sport is a bad thing.

4- The allure of the TV fighter is gone

Even if Demetrious Johnson's numbers had shrunk to an insane degree on Fox, he was still a reliable and proven attraction. Even if audiences sampled him and decided "No thanks!", they were still getting a number out of him. In the content driven era of the ESPN deal, Mighty Mouse being able to fight a few times on ESPN Would be a pretty value draw or so you'd think. Unfortunately I think we can safely say that the draw and appeal of the free TV fighter is dead. That's a bad deal for guys who can't move numbers on PPV but can draw audiences to TV (Frankie Edgar, Donald Cerrone come to mind). Demetrious Johnson wasn't needed in an era where over 40 shows a year are going to happen. The flyweight division, home to anywhere from 30 to 50 fighters, wasn't needed in a year where the UFC will need over 20 fights to fill in the spaces they occupied. Everything is expendable currently or perhaps that's always been the case all along. This also begs the question as to whether or not ESPN had a hand in flyweights going away. Fox wanted flyweights (or encouraged it at least) and they're gone as we enter into 2019. Is this an ESPN mandate?

5- The Flyweight Division will exist in MMA so let's see who supports it.

It's fair to say that the end of the flyweight division in the UFC sucks. I would say it. It's unfair to act as if it's going away forever. In the United States, this is a dead deal. Flyweights aren't going to get picked up for a flyweight division if the leading organization in the world tried and failed. Most MMA organizations attempt to bastardize UFC ideas that work, not latch onto the failures. That said, the regional scene will be flush with flyweight fights so go out and support those orgs. Be one of those guys who hypes up Tachi Palace or a Titan FC or an LFA. If you've got a subscription service to a Fight Pass or DAZN or ONE and a flyweight fight is on, go and check it out. Don't get mad because the UFC did what you all wanted them to do and now you gotta find something new to be pissed about. If the flyweights mean that much to you then make sure to go out of your way to see them. MMA on a grander scale has never been more accesable if you want it to be.

[bcgeog4390-19-blog]

What is Rural?

For me, I would say I have almost no concept of rural Canada at all because of two main reasons (1) this is my first time travelling to this big and beautiful (seriously, the landscapes here is breathtaking) country and (2) the only concepts of rural environment that I know of are theories that I learnt in the classroom. If I were to be quizzed on rural Canada right now, I know that I would definitely fail because I am still struggling to absorb and adapt to this strange new environment. I guess the answer to my current understanding of rural Canada before 4390 seminars would be that rural Canada would be mostly agriculture and wildlands.

Source

Before coming to Canada, I would think that the concepts of rural-urban theories that I have learned in my classes and my perspectives about rural regions were sufficient for 4390. I guess to a certain extent I was erroneous. Understanding rural Canada requires knowledge about a board spectrum of topics to be explored, it would be fallacious of me to think that a simple word of “agriculture” or “wildlands” can define what is rural Canada. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the discussion of rural Canada contains many underlying themes and concepts, even the definition of “what is rural?” is still up for debate. I guess there is still plenty of things that remain foreign to me.  There is definitely so much more to rural Canada.

From the readings in this course (Rural Geography by Micheal Woods, Chap 1 and 3), there are four board approaches to definitions for rural. Of the four representations of rural areas, I feel that “Rural as Social Representation” definitions resonate to me the most. Due to the rapid forces of rapid urbanization, the boundary between rural and urban is blurred. I agree with Woods on this one as I think apart for having clear tracts drawn for administrative purposes. The dynamic interactions and processes between the city and the countryside dictate that I need to realign my perspectives. Instead of viewing the urban and rural spaces as two separate entities with linkages (much like the core-periphery model by Friedman), I think I can better appreciate defining rural spaces as a social construct. A place where people shared the same culture and values and identify themselves within rural space.

Ultimately, context matters as well, defining rural still depends on the factors that are most important according to the people it. Since I am pretty new to this discipline of rural studies, my comprehension on this topic may seem limited and lacklustre. Coming to this course has really been an eye-opener for me as I continue my journey to discover and experience what rural Canada can offer.

Feel free to join in my discussion down below! :)

Ps: click here to view my other posts