#AND HIS BLASTED SPACE GOATS

[primroseduck]

AWGHHHH AWGHHH DYELL COMIC I CHEERED!!!!!!!!

Imagine me pelting rocks at Bill Dickey this guy stinks !!!!!!

lore

[zynhttyd]

Pl Please and thank you, if not please ignore this. A request for Hiccup x reader, it can be placed in the first movie when there is the training against dragons, specifically the scene of Astrid scolding Hiccup with that dialogue "....our parents' fight will become ours" and reader defends him, reader (she does not understand dragons but she respects them and is interested in them but only she knows that), and defends Hiccup verbally to Astrid, just a small discussion, from then on Hiccup is interested in reader because she defended him and because reader is not afraid of dragons in the training, which is strange because she never attacks him directly but it is like driving away a beast and generates interest in him.

THE GUARDIAN ANGEL

pairings « hiccup haddock x f! reader »

✎ When you quietly hold your ground during dragon training—never striking first, only observing—Hiccup takes notice. You're the only one who treats dragons with a strange, distance, and when you defend him during a heated clash with Astrid, he starts to wonder if he’s not as alone in his thinking as he thought.

【warnings; none】

Ash clung to the air, dense as flour, stirred by each step across the rugged ground. A fine coat of soot blanketed the arena like dust on forgotten parchment, and the scent—smoke, scorched rope, and something faintly sulfuric—settled stubbornly in your clothes. The roof above, a precarious structure of chains and stone designed with a singular purpose: to imprison dragons, and prevent their flight, groaned and clanged against one another as the deep wind swept through the cavernous space.

Gobber’s voice bellowed through the dusted air: “Today, we teach you how to not die! Keep your limbs, keep your pride, and maybe—maybe—you’ll live to see dinner!” 

You tightened your grasp on the leather strap of your borrowed shield with rigid edges. It smelled like someone else's sweat and fire—ripe, acrid, and unmistakably used. Have you not any shame, oh, how you wished you could pinch your nose without looking like a complete amateur. After Gobber’s ‘I believe in learning the job’ you’d completely lost hope in finishing the academy training with the Deadly Nadder tailing your butts to destroy you with its spontaneous bursts of poisonous spines wherever it could fly. At least he had the time to explain that shields matter more than a sword.

“hey–Hey, you know I just happened to notice the book had nothing to do with night furies.” You hear a cranky voice just a wall behind you, assuming it was Hiccup, likely addressing Gobber. A Before you could react, a sudden burst of fire struck the wall—a Nadder’s blast—searing through the wooden wall and lighting up the space. The impact revealed your silhouette, exposed and clearly visible through the scorched gap.

“Today, it’s all about attack! Now get ye’ lots and butts movin’.” 

You took off running, swatting at the small flames that clung to your clothes. Heat nipped at your sleeves as you pushed forward, doing everything you could to stay ahead of the Nadder. Sharp talons scraped against the wood behind you, and you heard the distinct whir of spines being fired. You ducked instinctively, heart pounding.

“Nadders are quick and light on their feet.” Gobber peeked from above.  “Your job is to be quicker and lighter”

Easier said than done.

Turning a corner too fast, —only to slam into Fishlegs with full force. The impact sent both of you staggering, arms pinwheeling for balance, but managed to regain balance just in time. You managed to stay in your feet, just as a cluster of razor-sharp Nadder spikes thudded into your shield with a metallic crack. Others peppered the ground where you had stood seconds ago.

You would’ve been at peace if Gobber hadn’t insisted on training you, calling you a “wee lamb” that needed to transform into a “goat.” You’d been sleeping soundly, deep in the comfort of your blankets, your body relaxed and still. The world outside had faded away, the early morning stillness wrapping around you like a warm, quiet cocoon. Then, next thing you know your legs were up and high, snatched by his prosthetic hook.

“I’m really beginning to start questioning your teaching methods.” “So do I!”

You sprinted ahead, putting more distance between yourself and Fishlegs, hoping to draw the Nadder's attention elsewhere. The dragon’s growls echoed in your ears, but you kept your focus on the creature's movements, looking for any sign of weakness, any gap in its defense. You had to figure out its blind spot.

Ahead, you spotted Astrid and Snotlout, their bodies low to the ground sneaking away from the spined dragon. They were working their way around the Nadder, trying to avoid being noticed. Just as you were about to make your move, Hiccup arrived, his figure appearing in the distance.

Astrid glanced over at him, quickly waving for him to crouch. “Get down,” she murmured, the command almost sounding like a scold. Hiccup, however, was still going on about the Night Fury, oblivious to the urgency around him. Astrid peeked her head over the edge, her eyes scanning the Nadder’s movements, watching for any sign that it had walked away from their direction. Once the coast was clear, Astrid moved quickly, rolling her body to the other wall alongside Snotlout and you. 

Behind you, Hiccup tried to follow suit, but he wasn’t as quick. As he rolled, the weight of his shield caught the ground, sending a sharp scrape through the air that made everyone flinch. His eyes widened in mild panic as he scrambled to regain his balance.

The sound didn’t go unnoticed. The Nadder, its eyes scanning the area, whipped its head toward the noise, its focus shifting immediately from you to the others. In an instant, it let out a ferocious screech and surged upward.

“Don’t worry, babe, I got this.” Snotlout’s voice was as confident as ever, though you couldn’t quite tell if he was talking to you or Astrid––not that it made a difference. His grin was wide, almost too wide, as he swung his mace, aiming for the Nadder with all the flair of a showman.

But the moment the mace left his hand, it veered off course, flying wide and completely missing the dragon. It sailed past the dragon’s side. Way past. The Nadder didn’t even flinch as it soared past, instead charging straight toward them, its eyes locked on the three of you.

You turned to him, unimpressed, giving him a long, deadpan stare. “Really?”

He blinked, then raised a hand as if that explained everything. “The sun was in my eyes, [Name].” Before you could even reply, the Nadder reared back and spewed a burst of fire. “What do you want me to do? Block out the sun? I could do that, but I don’t have time right now.”

Hiccup stood in place, still distracted, flipping through the pages of the dragon manual and pointing out something to Gobber. “They probably took the daytime off, right? Like a cat—’”

“Hiccup!” you barked, but he didn’t take notice. The Nadder roared and charged again, this time lunging straight for Astrid.

“Hiccup!” Gobber called out

“Hiccup!” Astrid shouted too, her voice laced with both panic and fury. She sprinted across the shaky remains of the training structure, the Nadder crashing after her, claws tearing into the wood as it climbed with terrifying speed. You watched from below, tense, trying to find an opening to help—but everything was collapsing too fast.

“Look out!” you yelled.

She lost balance and fell—straight onto Hiccup, knocking them both to the ground with a heavy thud. The air left his lungs in a wheeze, but the worst of it wasn’t the impact—it was the sharp clang that followed. Astrid’s axe, still tightly gripped in her hand during the fall, drove straight into the rim of Hiccup’s shield. The metal bit into the wooden frame and lodged itself deep, the two now stuck together awkwardly.

“Ooh, love on the battlefield,” Tuffnut snickered, elbowing his sister as he peeked over the edge of a half-crushed platform.

“She could do better.” 

You wanted to help, but the Nadder was almost free from the stacked pile of wood, its claws scraping against the debris as it struggled to get out. Every second counted.

"Let—let me... why don’t you—?" Hiccup stammered, trying to talk to Astrid, taking off her hand from squishing his face. He was still holding onto his shield, clearly trying to make sense of the chaos, but Astrid wasn't having it. She leaped forward, eyes locked on the Nadder, now fully freed from the pile of wreckage. Panic surged through her, and she pushed her foot onto Hiccup’s face with an unceremonious shove, yanking the axe from his shield with a sharp jerk.

Before Hiccup could react, Astrid was already swinging the axe, driving it into the Nadder’s advancing form. The force of the blow knocked the dragon back, sending it reeling. The sheer power in her movement was enough to force the Nadder to hesitate, if only for a moment, as it tried to regain its footing.

Ignoring your weapon, you threw it aside, the clatter barely registering as you focused entirely on the dragon. You rushed forward at the same time, your own fists raised, staying close to Astrid as the Nadder snarled, its fiery eyes narrowing. The tension in the air was palpable, the ground would be shaking with each step the dragon took if it didn’t have light feet.

You stepped forward, standing firm in the Nadder's path, trying to get its attention. No weapons. Just your instincts. You weren't going to fight this dragon with blades; you had to be smarter. 

"Hey, hey!" you called, voice steady despite the adrenaline flooding your system. The Nadder’s head swung toward you, its eyes narrowing.

The dragon was close now, its massive, scaly head turning toward you, its nostrils flaring as it caught your scent. You raised your arms, palms open, trying to appear larger, more intimidating. You shouted, not out of fear, but to be heard above the mess.

“Get away from them!”

The Nadder snarled in response, its tail flicking to the side as if it might strike you. But you didn’t flinch. You couldn’t afford to. In a matter of speaking, you weren’t exactly the type to fight dragons. They intrigued you—fascinated you in a way that made it hard to see them as mere enemies. You weren’t one to simply engage in a battle with something you didn’t understand, especially when their behavior wasn’t entirely rooted in malice.

You knew this was a high-risk situation, but you weren’t about to make things worse by provoking it further. Your eyes stayed locked on the Nadder as you slowly approached, hands up, keeping your posture calm and open. The dragon’s fiery gaze met yours, and for a split second, it seemed to hesitate, assessing you, its growls softening.

This wasn’t a fight—it was a standoff. And you weren’t going to fight if you didn’t have to.

Hiccup was still laying down to the ground, his eyes narrowed in concentration as he watched the scene unfold. The Nadder was on the offensive, its spines raised, ready to strike. The rest of the group was scrambling, trying to keep the dragon at bay with their weapons, but you... you weren’t doing what everyone else was.

A few tense moments passed. Then, with an almost reluctant grunt, the Nadder turned, its body coiling as it began to retreat, its fiery breath dissipating into the air.

You stood still, watching it leave. Only when it had fully backed off did you allow yourself to exhale, the adrenaline of the encounter still buzzing in your chest.

"You didn’t even use your weapon," Astrid said, her voice sounding a bit more incredulous than usual as she caught up with you. Her eyes were still wide, likely processing what had just happened.

Gobber, who had been watching the whole exchange from the sidelines, let out a low whistle of approval. "Well done, Astrid and [Name]." His gravelly voice was full of respect, and that made you feel a little less on edge.

Just as you were about to pat Astrid on her shoulder, however, her focus changed—badly—to Hiccup. Her eyes burned with frustration, the fire in them hard to ignore. “Is this some kind of a joke to you?” she spat, her fists clenched at her sides. “Our parents' war is about to become ours! Figure out which side you’re on.”

Hiccup shrank back slightly, fiddling with the strap of his tunic, his voice faltering. “I was just—”

“No, you weren’t,” Astrid interrupted, her voice sharp, her eyes narrowing as she stared down at him. “You never fight back. What happens when that hesitation gets one of us burned alive, huh? What if it’s me? Or him?” She jabbed her finger toward Snotlout, who looked momentarily offended, furrowing his brow at the gesture.

“Hey, hey, calm down, Astrid. Leave him alone.”

Hiccup looked up, surprised. The words weren’t directed at him—they were directed at Astrid, but somehow, they wrapped around him like a shield. You gave him a hand and helped him get up. His breath caught in his throat as you stepped forward, standing between them with an easy, almost casual determination. You were standing up for him. He wasn’t used to that, especially not from someone who he had never tried to make a conversation with. Now, you and Hiccup weren’t close, nor were you friends. but something about the situation made you act.

Astrid whipped her head toward you, her frustration evident in the tight line of her mouth, though now there was a flicker of confusion mixed in with the anger. “What? You’re going to defend him now?”

You nodded, standing your ground. “He’s trying to figure things out, Astrid. You don’t have to push him this hard. We’re all under pressure, but that doesn’t mean you get to tear each other apart.” 

“And it’s not like we asked the Gods to give the responsibility of our parents to us,” you said, your voice a little more strained than you intended. Hiccup looked up at you, his brow furrowed, his hands still clasped tightly in front of him. He hadn’t expected that response. Neither had you. It just slipped out.

“Eh, she’s got a point there, lass.”

Astrid’s eyes flicked to you, her jaw tight. But she didn’t say anything. With a sharp exhale through her nose, she turned on her heel and walked off, boots striking the ground with clipped steps. The others followed in silence—Snotlout tossing a last glance back, Fishlegs adjusting his belt awkwardly, Ruff and Tuff muttering to each other but keeping close behind.

None of them looked at Hiccup.

Only Astrid’s shoulders stayed tense as she disappeared around the corner of the training paddock. Her anger wasn’t aimed at you—you could feel it in the way she hadn’t met your eyes. It was Hiccup she couldn’t even look at.

You didn’t stay behind like usual. Not today. You threw your gear over your shoulder, kept your head down, and started walking away—off the academy grounds, past the watchtower, and down the slope that led toward the cliffs. You thought of catching some fresh air in the woods, they normally have great scent due to the petrichor after raining.

“Hey—wait, [Name]!”

You slowed slightly but didn’t turn. You could hear him fumbling behind you. The voice was familiar—uncertain, hurried—but you’d recognize Hiccup’s anywhere, nervous, a little hoarse and scrawny like the cry of a newborn yak. You heard his boots scuff as he jogged to catch up, the unevenness of his steps telling you he wasn’t used to chasing people down. His voice always sounded a little too big for him, like he’d borrowed it from someone braver.

He reached your side, a little out of breath, one hand holding the strap of his satchel as if it might anchor him. “You—uh—you left kind of fast.”

“Food won’t wait for me,” you said, not breaking stride. The excuse slipped out easily, but it was a half-truth at best.

Hiccup hesitated, looking ahead before speaking again. “Why... why did you defend me?” Hiccup finally asked. He wasn’t sure if he even wanted to hear the answer. Part of him thought he didn’t deserve it—he hadn’t earned it. He’d been a disappointment to so many already.

You glanced at your back. His expression wasn’t angry or accusatory—just... confused. Tentative. Like someone standing on a frozen lake, unsure how thick the ice really was.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he said. “Back there… with Astrid. I mean, she wasn’t wrong. I mess things up. All the time.” There wasn’t self-pity in his voice—at least not the performative kind. It was just fact, spoken plainly. Like he’d memorized that line after hearing it too often.

“Don’t think of yourself badly, Hiccup.” Hiccup looked down, brow furrowed. He kicked at a pebble near his foot, watched it skip across the path.

“You’re brave,” you added, your voice softer now. “Not in the way people like Astrid think of it. But in your own way. The kind that matters.”

He blinked. For a moment, he didn’t seem to know what to do with your words. Then he laughed under his breath—a short, awkward sound, more surprised than amused.

“I don’t feel very brave,” he murmured.

“Most brave people don’t,” you replied.

“Thanks,” he said finally, quietly. “For saying that. For... being there.”

From that evening on, Hiccup started sticking closer than ever, almost as if he’s your second shadow.

At first, it was subtle. He'd show up early to group meetings, always managing to sit beside you even when the others rearranged themselves chaotically. He'd offer to carry an extra pack, pass you a flask of water without asking, or stand just a step behind you when tensions with the others ran high—as if your presence somehow steadied him.

Then it became impossible not to notice.

You’d turn a corner in the stables and there he’d be, scribbling in his sketchbook but glancing up the moment your heels hit the stone floor. He trailed you during patrol shifts under the pretense of wanting “extra field experience,” and at mealtime, his tray would somehow always end up across from yours. You never called him out on it. You didn’t need to. And strangely enough, you didn’t mind.

Whenever you were out in the field, testing your own methods—fast, unorthodox, bordering on reckless—Hiccup’s eyes never left you. Not once. While the others braced for dragon fire or fumbled with their shields, he’d be watching you, his gaze locked in quiet awe, trying to memorize the way you moved, how you timed your shifts between evasion and precision, like you were dancing with danger rather than dodging it.

You called him out the third time it happened.

“You’re gonna get torched if you keep staring like that,” you snapped, yanking him behind cover after a Nadder’s blast barely missed his leg. “Keep your eyes on the dragon, not on me.”

At first, the others teased him for it. Snotlout made howling noises every time Hiccup moved to follow you, and Ruffnut started keeping an imaginary tally—“That’s ten sightings today, folks. At this rate, he’ll be part of [Name]’s shadow by next week.” But Hiccup didn’t rise to it. He didn’t deny it, didn’t make excuses. He just gave them that sheepish smile of his and kept doing what he was doing.

[solxamber]

Going to get my driver's licence and now I'm curious. How bad do you think the twst characters would be behind a car?? Cause idk if they have cars in that world or some magic equivalent, but I'm 90% sure almost none of them now how. Like imagine Lillia behind the wheel. He would either crash the car or get you yo your destination with mild injuries. And I KNOW leona sucks at driving that sonnova gun probs doesn't even have his permit.

good luck soldier, hope you pass first try 🫡

leona is canonically good at driving! his liongarb vignette part 2 has him driving everyone and they say it's a surprisingly smooth ride, he's had his license since before he enrolled in nrc!

ooo let's see (these are my hcs)

How I think the twst boys drive:

Riddle

“If you don’t use your blinker, you deserve a revoked license and public humiliation.”

has a laminated printout of the dmv manual in his glove compartment. refers to it. frequently.

stress-mumbles the rules of the road like it’s a ritual to keep the car from crashing

WILL tailgate someone going under the speed limit while also ranting about how dangerous tailgating is

6/10 driving skills. you’ll get there. your spine might not survive the journey, but you’ll get there.

Trey

drives like a dad and acts like one too. snacks in the glovebox. tunes to an “easy listening” radio station no one asked for

makes full eye contact with you while backing into a parking space like it’s nothing. terrifying.

won’t yell at other drivers but will mutter very passive-aggressive things like “oh, nice turn signal, champ”

actually a good driver, but if you’re in a rush he suddenly forgets where the gas pedal is

9/10. safe, boring, you will arrive calmly unless you say something that triggers “dad lecture mode”

Cater

treats every red light like a selfie opportunity. traffic jam? story time.

“oops lol i forgot i was driving”—said as he casually swerves back into the lane with one hand and no shame

will absolutely blast hyperpop or sad girl music at full volume and sing along

uses gps and still misses every turn. rerouting? he’s rerouting his soul

4/10. looks good while driving but he’s taking you straight to the afterlife

Ace

somehow thinks he’s in mario kart. will try to drift. is bad at drifting.

screams “WE’RE FINEEEE” after hitting the curb for the third time

brakes too late, accelerates too fast, thinks honking is just “assertive communication”

if there’s a speed bump he’s treating it like a ramp. bonus points if he makes you hit your head on the ceiling

2/10. he’s the reason riddle has ulcers. do NOT get in the car if you value your life or bones.

Deuce

follows every rule with military precision. 10 and 2. full stops. checks mirrors like he’s solving a crime

“Yes ma’am, no ma’am, I mean—uh, officer! No officer! I wasn’t speeding I swear—” (he wasn’t. he was 5 under.)

will cry if you scream while he’s merging. please don’t scare the boy.

starts off driving like your grandma, then randomly hits you with a tokyo drift moment and doesn’t explain

7/10. either safest driver alive or full menace. depends on how much sleep he got.

Leona

the infuriatingly competent kind of driver who looks like he’s not paying attention, but then parallel parks in one smooth move without even checking the mirrors

arm out the window, seat leaned back, one hand on the wheel, vibes immaculate

doesn’t drive fast, but drives scarily efficient. like you blink and you’re at the destination

will not turn down the music. you are listening to the same remix loop for 45 minutes and you WILL like it.

9/10 driver. good under pressure, hates driving in the rain, will refuse to pick you up unless you bribe him with snacks or flattery.

Ruggie

terrifyingly resourceful behind the wheel. the kind of guy who’ll be like “oh yeah there’s a shortcut” and you end up on a goat trail with no guardrails

speed demon. not by choice. he just doesn’t believe in arriving late. or braking.

eats while driving. talks while driving. does parkour with the car while driving. you pray while riding.

every time he drives you somewhere, you owe him one. including emotional damage fees.

5/10. you will survive. but spiritually? you left your body three potholes ago.

Jack

rule follower. actual golden retriever on the road. if you litter out the window he will make a U-turn to go back and make you pick it up

will not speed, will not honk unless someone is literally on fire, will not change the radio station unless everyone agrees

but if someone cuts him off? feral instincts engaged.

quietly competitive. if someone passes him, he WILL accelerate. you may hear growling. don’t question it.

8.5/10. safe, solid, dependable. would drive you home from a party and make sure you drank water first.

Azul

thinks driving is a power move. like. he paid extra for that quiet engine start just to flex

fully uses driving time to monologue about business deals, plans, or subtle threats. you’re not sure if you’re carpooling or in a hostage negotiation

signals three miles ahead. checks mirrors like he’s being tailed by the fbi. he might be

very good at navigating. if gps reroutes, he reroutes it back. he wins against the algorithm.

9/10, but unnerving. you’re safe, but at what cost.

Jade

why does he have a license. who allowed this.

drives like he’s setting up a prank for someone ten miles ahead

never speeds, but takes the creepiest, emptiest backroads imaginable. says it’s “more scenic”

always smiling while driving. concerningly calm if something explodes. probably listening to classical music or nature documentaries

6/10. legally fine. emotionally? you’re not coming back the same.

Floyd

no one is shocked he passed the test. everyone is shocked he was legally allowed to take it

drives according to mood. if he’s bored, the car drifts. if he’s happy, he’s swerving in rhythm to the beat. if he’s angry? start writing your will.

makes driving sounds while driving. “vroom vroom~ screeeee~” for no reason

WILL throw fries at other cars. WILL try to high-five a biker at a stoplight. WILL unbuckle his seatbelt to “stretch” mid-drive

3/10. you either have the best day of your life or a near-death experience. possibly both.

Kalim

loudest driver alive. music blaring, windows down, shouting "WHEEEE~!" every time he accelerates

constantly turns around to talk to people in the backseat. like fully turns around. while driving.

forgets he’s not in a flying carpet. every stop sign is an opportunity to launch forward like it’s a joyride

someone told him roundabouts are fun so he goes around twice. just for the vibes.

4/10. he loves driving. driving does not love him back. you’re clutching the oh-shit handle the whole time.

Jamil

the only reason scarabia hasn’t been sued for vehicular crimes

drives like a tired single parent with 4 kids in the back screaming about McDonald's

SPEEDS when no one’s watching. you blink, he’s five miles ahead. shadow clone jutsu behind the wheel.

has memorized every traffic light timer in the city. never hits red. it’s… weird.

9/10. efficient, smooth, and will absolutely sigh dramatically the whole time you’re in the car.

Vil

drives a clean car. spotless. smells like luxury perfume and judgment

interior is curated. no trash. no crumbs. one water bottle and it’s aesthetically pleasing.

signals aggressively. like he flips that blinker with intent

will slow down to give you a Look if you’re in the wrong outfit to be seen with him

8/10. elegant and competent, but if you scuff his interior with your shoes, you’re walking.

Rook

who gave him a license. seriously. who looked at this man and went “yes. let him command a machine.”

sings full operas while driving. makes direct eye contact through the rearview mirror. unsettling.

has taken you on backroads even you didn’t know existed. somehow it was scenic.

talks like he’s narrating a wildlife documentary about the local traffic patterns

???/10. is he a good driver? no one knows. he’s just... driving.

Epel

lives for off-roading. doesn’t matter if he’s in a prius, he’s driving that baby like it’s a monster truck

drives like a 90-year-old when vil’s in the car. drives like he’s in a nascar trial when vil’s not

says “it’s fine, I’ve done this before” and proceeds to take a left turn at 70 mph

threatens to do donuts in the parking lot and then does them.

5/10. he’s trying his best. unfortunately, his best involves sick tricks and zero concern for tire life.

Idia

doesn’t.

has a license “for legal reasons,” but he treats driving like going outside is the final boss battle

owns a tricked-out car he never drives. it has led lights, anime decals, and a built-in gaming console. he uses it as a portable man cave

the one (1) time he did drive, he wore fingerless gloves, anime osts were blasting, and he whispered “initial D style” before forgetting which pedal was the brake

2/10. technically can drive. emotionally should not. you’re safer ubering with floyd.

Ortho

doesn't technically need a license but downloaded the entire dmv handbook into his memory for fun

his “car” is less “vehicle” and more “sentient ai-controlled hovercraft with wifi and snacks”

offers in-flight entertainment. like you’re not even on a plane. he just projects movies on the dashboard

drives at optimal efficiency.

11/10. the future of driving. terrifying and amazing. please stop letting him hack traffic lights though.

Malleus

he has a license. he studied for it. memorized the entire rulebook. aced the written.

the problem is: he drives like he's never seen another car before

goes 25 in a 60 because “it is the safest way to protect my precious cargo” (YOU)

stares at traffic lights like they personally offended him

car is some luxury vintage thing that makes no sense. you have to open the door with a key made of bone or something

3/10. you are deeply loved. and deeply late.

Lilia

drives like he’s lived through every era of vehicular invention. he owned a horse-drawn carriage and a tank

owns a beat-up, pink minivan with a custom wrap and dice in the mirror

speeds. aggressively. will swerve into the drive-thru and order fifty mcnuggets “for the road”

talks with both hands while driving. both. hands.

4/10. unpredictable. fun. chaos incarnate. your insurance company hates him.

Silver

good driver. responsible driver.

...except for the part where he falls asleep at stop signs

you’ll be halfway through a deep conversation and he’ll just nod off with his foot on the brake

car is clean, smells like lavender, and has one (1) emergency granola bar in every compartment

very gentle driver. almost too gentle. like “you didn’t feel the turn because he was spiritually aligned with the wheel” kind of gentle

6.5/10. smooth ride, but someone needs to keep him awake with snacks and playlist bangers.

Sebek

shouldn’t be allowed behind the wheel.

drives like he’s been assigned to escort the royal heir through enemy territory

yells at everyone on the road. pedestrians, squirrels, YOU—no one is safe from his critiques of your seatbelt position

insists on narrating everything. “SIGNALING LEFT. NOW SWITCHING LANES. REMAIN ALERT!”

the gps is set to his own voice. and you can’t turn it off

2/10. the only thing louder than the engine is his righteous fury.

Grim

that’s a cat.

(he tries to drive. he sits on the wheel. honks the horn with his butt. chews the seatbelt. it's a warzone in there.)

this was so fun to do lmao

[leighsartworks216]

... Oops

Harvey x gn!Farmer

Had this thought when I remembered I had to take my meds tonight. I just think it would be nice to have someone who takes care of you when you're a bit stupid and forget to take very important meds 👉👈

Also, Baja Blast is the actual name of my blue chicken lmao

Also also, this is written in third person POV instead of my usual second person POV

Warnings: swearing, dizziness, anxiety, possibly OOC Harvey

Word Count: 1,592

Masterlist

AO3

Harvey rubbed at his eyes as he slipped out of bed, glancing absentmindedly at the empty space beside him. The farmer was already up, of course. He worried for them when he realized how early they woke up each day, but it couldn't be helped if they wanted to take care of their farm all in one day.

He adjusted his glasses on his face as he shuffled to the kitchen. A cup of hot coffee sat on the counter waiting for him, as it always was. He smiled to himself. Fresh coffee from beans they grew themselves always tasted better than anything Gus could ever dream of making. It was perfectly bitter and smooth as he gulped it down.

He looked out the window of the cabin that overlooked the field left to the farmer by their grandfather. There weren't any unwanted stumps, logs or boulders anymore. Fences penned in the animals as they meandered about, munching on fresh grass. The crops were already watered. The scarecrows teetered slightly in the breeze, the fabric of their gloves almost appearing to wave back at him. He always enjoyed the one that resembled an animated movie character - the farmer had been so proud of it when they stuck it into the ground.

His eyes scanned the paths and fences, searching for his partner.

Hm, they must be in one of the barns.

He stared out a while longer, hoping to catch a glimpse as they came out. A concerned frown etched its way onto his face, but he tried writing off the anxiety swarming in his gut. They're probably just refilling the feeders or refilling their kegs or... Really, it's nothing to get worried about. They knew what they were doing! As long as they stayed out of those damn mines, he had nothing to worry about.

He sighed, shaking his head to remove the flood of worried thoughts in his head. Downing the last of the coffee and placing the mug in the sink, he went off to the bathroom to get ready for a day in the clinic.

He peeked out the window again after he got out of the shower. A blue chicken - a gift from Shane the farmer had named Baja Blast - clucked cheerily as it walked out of the open gate. The farmer usually kept the gates closed, always worrying about coyotes or foxes coming to eat their precious hens. It was unusual for them to keep it open, even if they were inside the coop.

He bustled about in a slight rush to get dressed and gather his things for work, namely a giant thermos of coffee and a lunch prepared for him waiting in the fridge, before slipping out of the cabin. He set it all down on a rocking chair sitting on the porch, creaking in the wind.

Baja Blast clucked up at him as he scooped her into his arms. “C’mon, you shouldn’t be out here. All your food is in here,” he says to the chicken as he steps through the gate and closes it behind him. With a cursory glance back, it didn’t seem like any other chickens got out. He couldn’t remember how many his partner had anymore. He had no idea how in the world they kept up with chickens, ducks, goats, sheep, cows, and pigs on one farm alone. It made his head spin trying to guess how they kept their head on straight with so much to do.

He set Baja Blast down with a white chicken, Madame Clucks. She went back right to pecking away at the grass.

Harvey set his hands on his hips as he looked around. Even out here, he couldn’t see the farmer. Okay, how he was worried. His hands fidgeted anxiously as he stumbled in his loafers through the soft dirt to the coop door. If they weren’t in here, he’d have to check the other barns. And if they weren’t in the barns, he’d have to call Marnie or Shane, or, Yoba forbid, Marlon at the Adventurer’s Guild, just in case they really had slipped off to the mines without telling him. But what if they weren’t in the mines? He’d have to call- Yoba, who could he call? Everyone? Ask if they’ve seen the farmer around today? It wasn’t even 8am, nobody would be up and about to know if they’d gone through town.

He pushed open the door, a bit harder than he meant to as some chickens lingering inside bawk’d and spooked away, leaving feathers in their wake. He couldn’t even focus on that. His eyes immediately landed on the figure sitting on the chest by the mayonnaise machine. They were hunched over and holding their head.

“Farmer!” Harvey rushed forward, all the old anxiety quickly replaced with a thousand more fears. He knelt down by them and rested a hand on their shoulder, looking at them with wide eyes. From this angle he could see their eyes were closed, face pinched in discomfort. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

They shook their head. “‘M just lightheaded. I bent down to grab the eggs and I got really dizzy.”

He pressed the back of his hand to their forehead, brushing back some hair as he pulled away. “You’re not running a fever.” He let out a hesitant breath of relief. “Do you think you can stand?”

After a moment, they nodded. Harvey stood up and supported them as they stood. They wobbled on their feet, but he wrapped an arm around their waist to steady them.

“Easy now. Let’s get you back inside.”

“What about-”

“Don’t you dare put your farm over your own wellbeing,” he warned. “I can call Shane and see if he’ll take over for the day.”

The farmer sighed, relenting. He knew how much peace they found tending to everything themselves, despite how overwhelming it seemed on the outside. They had a whole process for everything, and they’d explained before just how much of the simpler tasks they’d automated with sprinklers and some of Maru’s machines. Still, he was absolutely not about to let them go right back to work when they can barely stand up without a light breeze threatening to knock them over.

Harvey opened the gate and helped them through, shooing Baja Blast back inside as he shut the gate again. His partner gave an undignified snort at the offended squawk she let out. “At least you feel well enough to laugh.”

“Like I said, Harv, I’m just dizzy.” They leaned heavily into him as he led them along the paths to the cabin. Their feet hung up on uneven stones and the stairs leading to the door more than once.

“Dizziness is a symptom of something else. I just want to make sure it really is nothing serious.”

“I know you do.” They offered him a slight smile, but it quickly soured to a frown as they shut their eyes again with a frown. “Yoba, it feels like the whole world is spinning.”

“We’re almost there.” The line would have been less out of place if this wasn’t their home that they knew as well as they knew the names of all their animals, but they were too out of it to point it out and Harvey was too in his own head to notice it. So they stumbled together through the house to the large two-person bed.

The farmer laid down with a whine, pressing the balls of their hands to their eyes. “How is this worse somehow?” they groaned.

Harvey pressed a comforting hand to their shoulder. “Did you eat breakfast this morning?” They hummed affirmatively with a nod. “When did you get back home last night?”

“Like… 1? 1:40?”

He sighed, scratching his brow with his thumb. That was a conversation for later. “Did you take your meds?”

The silence was deafening. They covered their whole face with their hands with a muffled, “Fuck, I’m stupid.”

“So you didn’t take your iron?”

They shook their head but regretted it immediately after, uncovering their face with a grimace. Their hands plopped pathetically to the bed beside them. “No, I completely forgot. I was trying to run back from the beach after fishing all night - I must have been so tired it just slipped my mind.”

He let out a long sigh. “At least it’s nothing serious. I’ll be right back, okay?”

“‘M sorry, Harvey.”

“It’s…” He frowned at the idea of saying ‘okay’. As a doctor, he really couldn’t brush off not taking prescribed medication, especially with a partner with such a severe case of anemia. He’d protest against them running a farm at all if they weren’t so determined. “We’ll figure out a better system, okay? We can put them in a pill-minder and keep them on your nightstand.”

They nodded. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

That shocked a laugh out of him. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to their forehead, his mustache scratching their skin in a familiar way. “Of course - that is my job after all. Now sit tight, I’ll grab your supplements and call Shane. Anything he needs to know about?”

“Just make sure he pets all of the animals. They deserve daily pats.”

“I’ll make sure he knows,” he chuckled fondly as his footsteps began their retreat from the bedroom to the house beyond.

“I love you!”

His warm laugh rang out again, echoed against the wood Robin nailed together and the photos on the walls. “I love you, too!”

[smutmami]

ms. stealing my hustle pt. 1

overview: plug!suguru & plug!reader

(sfw) cw: hints at rivalry, mentions of substances, weed consumption, fem implied reader, girly dolly reader, quiet suguru

suguru couldn't escape your name. it was truly unescapable. you two almost became rivals without even knowing each other. why was this?

well. . . because of weed of course!

both of you were known for selling some good shit. the college campus stayed arguing on who is the real goat; a hot topic of conversation during exam season.

when college stress became prevalent, so did your signature pink baggies.

you revelled in walking through the campus and seeing the cutesy stickers you package only for the girls (& satoru when he secretly betrays his bestie) plastered on the back of macbooks in your classes just because you knew suguru would be heated.

you guys hadn't met in person, you had just heard his sexy voice in the background during satoru's secret phone call purchases.

but this was soon about to change.

♡´･ᴗ･♡――――――♡´･ᴗ･♡

you never really attended house parties, for the simple fact that you had better things to do. despite being a regular smoker and the stereotypes that follow, you are a very ambitious woman; this is how the whole thing started. among your green selling side hustle, you also created personalised press-on nails & worked a part-time job.

but here you are. sat in the corner of the couch in your pink ruffle shirt 'n the matching white ruffle mini skirt. you sat with your purse in your hands, caressing your long side-part as you smoke from your cherry flavoured blunt.

there you listened to the (classic) faneto by chief keef blasting throughout the house along with the voices screaming along with the words.

this was far from the chill party satoru promised. . .

"damn, look who actually showed up!" you heard from the back of the couch. before you were able to turn to face to recognisable voice, the white haired man sat closely next to you.

"space?" you questioned as you exhaled your smoke.

as soon as the words left your mouth he seemed to scootch up closer.

"you know. . ." satoru began laughing, "suguru was the one who kept pressing me to invite you"

quickly, you began coughing after inhaling, holding your right freshly manicured hand to your chest.

"huh?"

"i'm telling you, those pink packets are getting to himmmm" he trailed off. "anyways, lemme have some?" he spoke grabbing the blunt before even finishing asking.

usually you'd snatch it right back but you sat there silently dumbfounded. the fuck does the man want to see me for?

♡´･ᴗ･♡――――――♡´･ᴗ･♡

as time passed sipping henny zoning out of satoru's whiny voice, constantly rambling about nonsense, you didn't notice the presence behind you.

"ayeeee that's my man!" satoru's voice raised as he leaned forward dapping up the presence behind you.

the deep mumble of acknowledgement made your stomach turn (automatically knowing who it was) you turned and faced the onyx-haired man behind you.

he stood tall, around the same height as satoru. his presence however seemed way more intimidating, almost alluring. he had a dark aura surrounding him, heavily contrasting with your bubbly pink vibe.

suguru was known for being very quiet, almost a loner amongst his friendship group. he was known for being the plug that did little talking but provided good shit.

again . . . the complete opposite to you.

it felt absurd. after being aware of each others existence for about a year without a physical meeting.

suguru sported a black hoodie and baggy jean combo, you could see his tats peaking through the neck up behind his ears which were currently semi-hidden by his half-up-half-down hairstyle.

you were looking at him shamelessly.

him on the other hand - he his low red eyes were analysing you with what seemed like forced nonchallance. inside he was freaking out.

the truth was he had been observing your multiple pages (insta, tiktok etc.) for months probably about a year of when he first heard your name.

seeing you in person felt like an out-of-body experience. him seeing you in a set he had watched you post about in one of your tiktok hauls felt wrong.

he felt like a real stalker.

a whistle broke the tense atmosphere.

"damn who would've known" satoru spoke, slinging his arms over both of your shoulders whilst standing between you.

suguru kissed his teeth, flashing his low smile highlighting a silver cap on his teeth.

"so you're the doll stealing my clients huh?"

my first fic eek ! lmk if u guys want a pt 2, pls be patient with me bby's ‪‪❤︎‬

[remember: it's always free palestine & my people in congo]

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

https://www.tumblr.com/haveyouseenthisskeleton/706263742909906944/so-loses-both-their-legs-in-an-accident-and I want the rest of the others skeletons react to this as well imagines

The first part of the ask is here, with the main boys.

Horrorswap Sans - He smirks as you stare at him in disbelief. What? That's kinda funny, he can't help it. Now you can fit better with the cows; maybe they will accept you as one of their own. You slap him with a pillow.

Horrorswap Papyrus - Pumpkin won't stop assuring you he likes them and that it looks good. Ok, but can he please stop petting your legs already? It's starting to get weird. He can't help it... It's soft!

Horrorfell Sans - Hum... He's curious about what type of animals it is and won't stop asking you to stop in front of random animals so he can investigate. He has the randomest questions, too. Because a centaur is part horse and part human, right? But what pourcentage of the horse do you need to be called a centaur? The hell do you know! You just want your legs back!

Horrorfell Papyrus - Eh, wait a second... What the fuck! That's not fair! How come you get new legs but not him?! He wants satyr legs too! You're clearly mad you got them, so that would only be fair to switch! He's sulking.

Horrorswapfell Sans - He came to touch your legs like every morning, feels hair under his hands, screams at the top of his lungs that there's a rat in the bed, and then randomly blasts your face. That's the hell of a morning.

Horrorswapfell Papyrus - Your legs are triggering his hunting instincts. If not for hunting, why hunting shape? Eventually, he can't take it anymore and jumps at your legs to bite into them. You're screaming at the top of your lungs.

Outertale Sans - Well, sure, it's going to be weird to explain to your parents, but it looks kind of cool? He doesn't see why you're so worried; he thinks it looks incredibly sexy, actually. You choose to not question why he's so attracted by this.

Outertale Papyrus - He insists you are part space yeti now and so that you learn to talk space yeti so you don't get embarrassed if one of them asks you questions. You whine that you're not a space yeti and that, as far as you know, you're never going to meet one, but he's not listening to you.

Dancetale Sans - Sick. You could do a hell of a tap-dancing show with these. He's jealous, actually. You know he's just saying this to make you feel better, but still, he's not that wrong...

Dancetale Papyrus - He has to be honest with you. He doesn't mind the change of legs but his autism freaking hates the texture of your hair. Can you change again, but make them soft like a puppy instead of coarse like a goat? You scream back at him that you didn't even ask for this in the first place. Fine, fine! But still... Can you still change the texture of your hair, pretty please?

Dancefell Sans - He doesn't want to be rude as he knows some people don't like to shave, but still, that's sort of extreme, right? How did so much hair grow during the night? Should he say something? Are you identifying to a satyr now? Damn, he didn't know humans could be that complicated. You're giving him anxiety.

Dancefell Papyrus - You wake up to him not so discreetly asking Google if changing his S/O's legs makes him some kind of god or something. Google is confused, but not as much as you. Until you see your legs at least. Now you're just mad. The hell did he do again?

Farmtale Sans - He confuses your legs with goats' legs while he's trying to get them back to the barn, and he will hit your legs with a stick several times, confused why you're not moving. You feel so offended right now.

Farmtale Papyrus - He won't stop apologizing to you. Not only you're mad, but his border collie won't stop treating you like a sheep and tries to push you toward the barn. Ben won't stop telling you he will find a solution but so far, he just had a mental breakdown and a panic attack, and you still have goat legs.

Mafiatale Sans - See? He told you his magic tricks were real! Now you can't deny it! You're a living proof it's not bullshit! You tell him that you are supportive of his denial, but can he please turn your legs back to normal now?

Mafiatale Papyrus - He wakes up, sees your legs, blinks in shock and decides it's best if he's not here when you will wake up because he knows it's his fault somehow but he just doesn't want to deal with it. Have fun having a mental breakdown all by yourself in the morning.

Mafiafell Sans - Well, if you really don't like them, he could chop them down, that wouldn't change from before, right? You deadpan. Is he serious right now? Fang doesn't dare to look you in the eyes. He's a little embarrassed about this. Listen, it's not weird or anything, but he kinda likes Toriel's legs, and he assures you it doesn't look that bad? That's when you realize you have these legs because he fantasizes you with Toriel's legs. God, you hate him so much.

Mafiafell Papyrus - Exorcism. It's the only thing he found to help you. You stare at him in disbelief. You're not a demon, though? Torpedo tells you that it's definitely what a demon would say and that you will not know if it works before you do the exorcism. That's going to be a long day, is it?

Ink - .... So, what do you want him to do about this? You scream at him that he's the one who wanted to help him by drawing new legs and that it's his problem now! .... So.... Do you want new legs? He can do that. The next day, you wake up with chicken legs and scream into your pillow until your voice breaks.

Error - "damn that's ugly as hell". Well, thanks, Error, that's so useful right now! Error gets defensive and asks what the hell you want him to do about this. It's not his fault you decided to be half-goat out of the blue! Ok, maybe it's his fault, but don't scream at him!

Disbelief Papyrus - He's not sure how that happened, but he brings you to Asgore. He's a goat monster, maybe he can help with that? Asgore just blinks at you awkwardly and pokes your legs once. He then says your hair looks as fluffy as him. Now there's a long awkward silence between the two of you. Hum... Maybe it's best if you never ask Asgore again about this.

Killer Sans - Sorry, but he can't stop laughing at your misery. It looks ridiculous and goofy-looking. He can't look seriously at you for more than three seconds without smirking. Also, you facial expression is just making it a hundred times better. Yeah, he has no regret whatsoever, that's the best show of the day. You're glad at least one of you two finds it funny...

Dustale Sans - Well, obviously, he got confused in his wish and somehow wished of hunting a deer in the middle of wishing for you to have legs again. Do you want him to wish to go back to normal? You prefer not. He did too much already.

[studio-petrichor]

Writing Short: Pity Party of Two

He wasn't sure how many parties it had been, since he'd let the little goat (Billie?) go. Maybe 5, or 6, where the music was in full swing, the bursts of yellow and marigold swirling to the rhythm.

The beat, though, now felt a little off, a little too deep, cutting into his psyche where it hadn't before, with words that she'd shared with him over his grief.

"She went missing," Billie stated, amidst dodging the psychedelic blockades coming at her. "So did my dad! Neither of us are at fault for that, and there's nothing we can do to bring them home!"

He hated it. He hated hearing that. He hated it he hated it he hated it-

Despite the pummeling and the continuous rampage blasting by her, she stuck out her chin, leaping from random asteroid to giant floating kazoo, using it to ride the next colourful wave. "We couldn't have known what would happen. YOU couldn't have known. It wasn't your fault!" The latter words boiled under his plasma, filling him to the brim with anger.

He could have done SOMETHING.

The next wave knocked her off the kazoo, but she held onto the edge, dangling as nonsensical objects flew overhead. Yet as she hoisted herself up, hair blowing wildly in the gust of winds, there was nothing in her eyes that said she was lying at all.

No.... same as his eyes, there was a dampness to them, and he briefly realized that the tears she shed had looked like passing glitter and confetti as they left for the air.

"All we can do now is be a person they would have been proud of." Though her tone was sharp, stern, the softness in her eyes spoke of an ocean of guilt that often drowned her on her worst days.

So, she spoke the truth.

It rang to him, like the bell around her neck. But before he could even have a thought, her bold words came next, cutting apart the reality he'd shaped- both physically, and mentally.

"Would your daughter be proud of this, Baron?"

Billie swung her arms around the gruesome scene. Of the chainsaws, the lava, the various tools he'd tried with the intent of unlocking new and fantastical ways to kill. His eyes took it all in, feathers moving, cascading in one collective shiver down his body. There was a tightness in his throat, in his chest, like he was looking at himself for the first time in decades.

The shards of broken mirrors floating in this liminal space reflected back at him the.... the thing, he was now. Not Baron anymore.

Would she be proud? God, no. No. She'd have been terrified.

Needless to say, he'd rather not... have any new guests, for a while. Possibly never again. Even the Barnaboos had been too much for him to take in.

Yet, like the bundle of chaos she was, the little goat found its way back to his front door. This time, (thankfully) knocking. Despite the extreme burnout from last week's "intervention", he found himself... unable to say no, as he dragged his talons to the grand wooden entrance.

He opened the door, donning his mask of whismy and chaos to match her nature- but then the smile wobbled.

"... Billie?" His voice came softer than he'd meant it to, a state of fear overcoming him.

There was dried maroon in her fur, surrounded by cuts and bruising. It wouldn't have been possible to see the bruising if it weren't for the disturbed patches of fur. His eyes widened, taking her in. Her posture carried an air of defeat, despite the signs of rebellion on her.

Her light eyes seemed a lot less determined than a week ago, when she was telling this massive bird ten times her size (at the time) how to grieve properly. It sent icy goosebumps creeping under his neck.

"Billie?" He repeated, this time the tone carrying more questions than her name let on.

She sank into herself a little, her breath starting to shudder with the effort to speak. It took a few tries, with her mouth opening and closing, eyes welling up with tears. It reflected back at him, his chest tighter and wound up, like a jack in the box ready to bounce.

After a minute of watching her struggle, he couldn't allow it to continue.

The part of him that had been a father had been absent for so long... and the instincts were rusty, and maybe he was a little rash. But his wings acted before he did, and he swept her up amongst his feathers.

He didn't really know what to expect; she flinched, but among the newness of their friendship, it made sense. (Later she would tell him it was because his plasma was "too dang cold, you could have warned me, sheesh")

Even after the hesitation, though, she stopped trying and just... cried. It was loud, and messy, and it reminded him a bit of when his daughter fell and scraped her knee (she was not graceful, he remembered that much). Regardless, he hushed and soothed the kid, closing the front door behind him as he sauntered to the fireplace.

He melted before it, leaving his torso stable and wings secured around her, rocking a bit as she sobbed into his shoulder. "You can cry," he found himself murmuring, lacking it's usual frivolous tone. "Cry as much as you need. And then after, I can get you tea- REAL tea," she'd shot him a scowl amidst her snotty weeping, "and... then, if you want, I'll beat up whoever did this to you," he smiled sincerely.

To Billie, the offer spoke volumes - it came from someone who killed, if he enjoyed someone's company. He didn't seem to care much for the act of how it happened, other than entertaining himself in the process. So to needlessly harm another, but not finish the job... she could only stare, her breath still shaky, her tears still trickling. She shook her head.

"Ahh, alright, my dear," he feigned disappointment, his beak trimming over her fur as he began to preen to the best of his ability. The gesture nearly reignited her tears, but she swallowed thickly, wiping her face.

Barnaby hummed, and it seemed to be something of an older lullaby, simple but nothing she'd ever heard in her time being alive. "Have a little pity party, then. I'll be your first guest!" He mumbled through a mouthful of bloody fur.

"We have all the time in the world."

[thejack-ofalltrades]

You know what time it is

WITCHLIGHT EP 59

⚠️SPOILERS⚠️

Oh boy oh boy here we are, this has just kinda turned into a thing I'm doing now ig.

Frost saying they should kill whoever is running the puppet show with puppets that look like them.

Kremy said it's only allegedly been 5 years torbek was tortured. "What the hell, kremy?!" From torbek in response had me dead.

Kremy also says that he stays up at night thinking about it (bro feels so guilty about torbek and is still trying to do anything to make himself not feel as horrible)

Reachers keepers

A rogue vs. 100 apes info from random sky voice (gricko saying you think that's an omen?)

Curvy & Scurvy Dave plus Crusty & Busty Dave conversation had me crying man

Kremy cooking a 4 course meal before bed because that soup was awful.

Frost mediating in a space all his own for the first time in a long time... while also trying to ignore the talking toilet

Torbek finds a door flap to a luxurious room in his tent, sticking his head in to admire before. " Yeah, this is definitely a trap" before going back to the trash (bro is gonna survive a horror movie fr)

Torbek wants to eat Amdapor's (idk and don't care really if I spelled that right) heart to hopefully gain teleporation lmao

Amdapor telling them he can't teleport but can get them where they need to walking lmao frost saying " I'm so glad we didn't eat your heart"

Grickos, it's Canon I don't wear shoes just like it's Canon I don't have a tail.

They tell amdapor about the sky voice and that it threatened them with gorillas his response of "oh no the gorillas are back?"

Kremy trying to create a spell

"I feel like gricko thinks it's easy having a tail" - kremy (mikey really wanted to talk about the headcanon of gricko having a tail)

Gid and krems side bar about gricko probably being mentally unwell

Kremy talks about how much having a tail sucks

Goat gricko lmao

Mace/Gideon laughs super hard and Derek makes a joke that gid just rolls down the cliff

Gricko being scared the goats are trying to curse him

Torbek wants to take stuff from the goats bag and gricko keeps stopping him they proceed to bicker like kids

Torbek & gricko sibling dynamic moment and torbek whining to kremy about gricko like a child to their mom

Kremy and gid being scared of the goats and giving them a trinket/kremy giving gid something to give them

Goat curse torbek and gricko lmao

Gricko curses (he's made it to LA lol)

Torbek curses aligning perfectly wants to eat brains but has a mask on he can't remove and has no mouth too and can only creepy crawl

Frost very creeped out by them

Torbek scaring krem and gid and kremy threatened to hex torbek

Everyone immediately looking at frost when asked if anyone wants to sing and frost being embarssed

Kremy asking amdapor if him and the bee take fall damage and then starts eye the cliff edges (kremy don't commit a murder lmao)

Gricko doing the thing he always does and kremy seeing it from several miles away

Frost shaming torbek for stealing

Promoting crooked moon even more because fuck that one comment get ur bag

Goat gricko snatched by big bird while his friends watch

Kremy refusing to look thinking everyone's trying to prank him until gid tells him to look

Thinking the eagle is coming to attack them and gid yelling to throw rocks and kremy immediately does (what is it with yall and rocks also missed opertunity to accidentally hit frost lmao) kremy yelling that "its a friend of the apes!"

Frost "your throwing rocks? You know eldritch blast" to krem

Better call Paul joke went unappreciated

ChaGOATle

Telling gricko to speak to the goblin child cause all these Lil quest have been perfect for gricko to deal with lmao

Saying gricko is the only one who speaks goblin with a very confused torbek (cause he also does)

"Is this some kind of fae trick your legally obligated to tell us" kremy to this child before helping her

Torbek getting mad at the kite for saying mean things to this little girl

Them still having gricko do all the heavy lifting for this side quest

Everyone telling gricko to just leave the last bow cause it's fine if the girl grows up a little and gricko refusing cause he doesn't want to take her childhood from her

Frost being the only one to encourage gricko to keep going and uses his mind hand under rat gricko incase he falls

Rat gricko letting go of the kite line after doing it because he's immortal 🤣

Kremy shoots the kite out of the sky first try

Torbek remembered the goblin girls dad's name

Frost asks gricko to be his best man for his wedding to the ocean princess

Kremy is given a 2nd cane and Richie miming walking with 2 canes one in each hand

Lil girl calls torbek her best friend

Gid is handed a random powder and mace immediately mimes snorting it

Kremy gives the little girl one of the magic tents for free

Kremy freaks out over the cane he received because its from the baron

Gricko does the cool smoke monster thing with his new pipe and summons the groblin

Death reigns here (uprooted ref I believe)

In avantris and chill they answer this question about if the gang makes it out alive of this quest how do they think their characters would die?

Gid and kremy would die in a scheme gone wrong whether they're kidnapped and killed by someone they pissed off or just had the whole thing go wrong they'd die together

Gricko would die old and peaceful with an adult hootsie and his hot wife busty beside him

Frost would transcend flesh

Torbek would suffocate on trash

[thearcanecat]

I know you’re really into miraculous right now, especially Gabriel and Natalie, so you’ve got to here me out on the idea that Itzal keeps Margaret’s mother in a coffin Emile Agreste style.

Yes!!! He would do that. Dead wife hidden away and Margaret and Dakkar do not know and are not going to be happy about it when they find out. That’s going to trigger another “father no” from Mags.

Kal knows and foreshadows it a bit to Dakkar. Sia also knows and is hiding it from the siblings kinda s6 Marinette style (So basically Gabriel made the wish and told Mari to let Adrien remember him as a good dad and not. You know. The guy who terrorized all of Paris. So now Mari told everyone Gabriel died a hero and keeps hiding his Hawk Mothness from Adrien. And has to grin and bear it as Adrien gets all excited his dad was a good person after all.) Sia does this more to Margaret, since she doesn’t have any memories of Itzal or the Blazing World initially. She’s evasive with answers, hiding evidence when they come to Lincoln, and ignores the many flaws of Itzal and his kingdom from pre-fall days. Dakkar and the rest don’t love it, but assume it’s Sia’s way of coping or her setting up a vision. She often uses the Rabbit as an excuse to not tell people things because it would mess with the flow of time. All while actively messing with time herself.

The twins would get the Rooster and Goat pair. I think Goat to Samuel and Rooster to Rose. She comes up with the most insane and randomly specific powers. Her weapon is the PPP. Mags can have Tiger for Clout. She just gets to blast people for fun. John gives me Butterfly vibes for some reason so he can have that one. Anna gets the Monkey. Also just vibes. Dakkar has the Turtle. Ahlaam, Horse. Sia, Rabbit. Addison, Dog, because Top.

Itzal Fox for sure, plus merged with Black Cat. Kal and the other unnamed minions of Itzal have Alliance ring equivalents so Itzal can send them some powers when needed. Kal is often given Dragon so he can turn into fog. Trio of Fox, Pig, and Peacock are used to create various illusions and things like Embers of Antikytheria.

Itzal’s wife who I’m calling Chazira used a broken Miraculous. She had Ladybug and Itzal had the Black Cat. She dies, Itzal wants to make a wish to bring her back. Everyone else immediately clocks that as a bad idea and works to smuggle out Mags since she’s the Guardian. Somewhere in the escape she has to renounce the Miracle Box in order to keep it safe, leading to her amnesia. She doesn’t pick a new Guardian by name, because Itzal would just chase them down, but makes the new Guardian someone she will know where to find in the future.

Itzal currently can’t make the wish because of how damaged the Ladybug is. He needs to Spellbook, which vanished along with the Miracle Box. Everyone just thinks Chazira is dead, they don’t know about the weird stasis coffin the basement.

Box ends up with the Stratfords. The twins hear all sorts of fun stories from the kwamis which inspire their writings. (Most of the kwamis have holders, so only a few are left with the Stratfords.)

Margaret did not realize her jewelry was a Miraculous until Benjamin’s Apartment/The Radiance. Transformed and blasts the twins as in canon. John saw it all and is amazed because he ended up with the Spellbook and wants to learn more.

Twins give out Miraculous to anyone they like. Rabbit Sia at the end of Brick Satellite jogs Margaret’s memory on the power ups and they get space forms. Does not figure out water powers in time for Vanishing though.

[rascalentertainments]

I actually haven’t used the Ask box so I hope I’m using it right 😭 but I have some questions about your rewrite…

What was Flazino’s Wish like? Something about the hamlet or was it personal?

Will Star have some kind of panic attack or maybe something similar when he witnessed a wish getting eaten?

I’ve seen that the wishes are somewhat sentient, so what were their reactions when wishes get eaten?

Will Asha have a magical dress transformation? If so, COULD I HELP DESIGN IT?!

How long has Magnifico had the evil book?

Sabor’s favorite treat?

Are people more judgmental in Rosas due to being exhausted from their wishes taken?

Have children been affected by their parents’ behavior? 

Could I potentially design a wish poster 👉👈

How entertaining are wish ceremonies?

Would Rosas be more heavily guarded since Asha and Star escaped from the Queen?

Will Star ever open up to Asha about his loneliness?

What do Star and Asha have in common? 

And finally, does Star think of fireworks when viewing them from the Stratosphere?

Okay that’s all of them, have a good day!!!

Hey there! Wow you got some great questions here, let's get started! (P.S you used it right! I just need to make a proper link!)

Flazino's wish is to study magic because he believes he can help others with it. Things like replenishing water supply, heal sickness that medicine can't, plants can come back to life and bring crops, ect. While he can't fully do that right now, he helps with what he can for the Hamlet.

Yes! He gets a connection to the wishes when he touches them, so when Flazino and the old woman's wishes are crushed, he can feel like something has hit him, hard. (When Asha is danger of dying he actually starts feeling like he's dying as well since they're connected) and it happens again when Magnifico tries to absorb Star into the staff. Its supposed to feel as big as space inside, but it terrifies him because it will be like he's alone in space again.

Fear, mostly because anyone of them could be next, whether Mags goes for them or their wishers.

YES, YES SHE WILL!! AND YES, YOU CAN DESIGN IT! I've been brainstorming ideas for a while and the idea I had came to me on Pinterest. Something like this below, using the star patterns/constellations and mash tails and then apply them to the second picture of one of Asha's concept dresses.

5. He's had the book for about 10 years. He started using it more recently when he and his wife began to plan to steal a star from the sky.

6. Goat If Amaya can't provide baked salmon treats, then he likes to lurk around Rosas' to find the few rodents from underground. Makes him feels like he's in the wild.

7. Yes, the wishes being taken has begun taking their tolls on their positivity. Besides the drowsiness, they get a little suspicious of others, and it gets worse when Magnifico makes and order to turn in Asha, Star and other traitors they find or hear about!

8. A little. They still have their wishes and youth, so most of them don't notice. But once some do, they began to worry somethings wrong and ask Mags for help.

9. HECK YEAH YOU CAN!! 😃 I've had the image in my mind for months, so I'll send to you the vision I have in my head later on, it gives the biggest Disney vibes!

10. Oh they're a blast! 😂 Its full of music fanfare, fireworks, confetti, spotlights, the whole Hollywood deal! (Then they steal their souls/wishes) Even though its supposed to be about the person making their wishes, but the royals always make it about themselves. 😂 In fact, that's something coming in its own mini story, and when we reach the third act! It'll be like that Far Far Away Red Carpet scene from Shrek 2!

11. Definitely! After Star gets revealed and the traitor exposes them, the castle is double guarded, so the team goes into hiding in Bazeema's quiet hideaway.

12. Sometime before At All Costs and when Asha sees how Star is shaken up by almost being trapped in Mags' staff. He even stops smiling for a while and it really worries her. Seeing him not smile is like the sun not shining. Its unnatural.

13. Besides both having a desire to help others, they both love seeing the world. They even both are full of joy. Only Star is always showing it while Asha believes she had to push it down after her father died. When she sees how he always gives his joy to others, including repairing the pencil her father gave her, that's when she realizes she's falling in love with Star.

14. He at first thinks they're other stars shining on Earth, but once he sees that they're big beautiful light shows similar to nebula formations, he gets really excited! He wants to know how humans see them from below, just like the sunset.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, @ishadow246! That was so much fun, feel free to ask more at anytime! Can't wait to see what art you're cooking up next! 😁

[george228732]

"…Tinker…?" He said on the other side of the door of his bedroom. "Come in!" Vibrato entered his room, with the moonlight gleaming on his room's window.

"Hey! How did ya do today at work?" The bluebird asked "…It could be better, I won't lie to you, composing songs for the glee of communities is harder than you think… Especially when after some time, you can barely see where are you going…" The goat said in a tired tone. "…I guess that magic on your books is not helping." "It is sadly ancient magic, coming from an era where knowledge like that was scarce." "Tch! I am sure that with MY knowledge, I'll be able to make you better visual aids for your little eyes!" ''Hopefully…"

Tinkercian was more than able to see that Vibrato was deeply tired, and for someone like him, who could blame him?

''Tomorrow's the festival, right?'' ''Indeed, the New Day Festival comes tomorrow, with all the people, food, and especially, the music. I'll crash after all of that is over.'' ''Weeeeeell, you don't need to do it alone! I am here, and the other two are surely gonna help too, when they are not dealing with Galacta's kids or Hyness' command back at the Pardus Clan.'' ''I am not sure if you are actually capable of helping me with the music.'' ''What?! You taught me how to play the drums and flute, and I rock with them! Hyness knows how to play the piano, and thanks to you, Gala always ends up blasting the song you composed for him on his guitar when no one is looking! We could manage.'' ''…Thanks for supporting me, Tink.'' ''No problem, music goat!''

Vibrato faintly smiled as he yawned seconds later.

''That's… my call to go to my room, good night.'' ''You sure? You can stay here with me if you prefer! I know you like this room." "…I wouldn't want to bother you.'' ''Ye are not bothering anybody! So if you really wanna, you can rest riiiight beside me.'' ''…Are you sure?'' ''Absolutely!'' ''…''

Vibrato came closer to Tinkercian's bed as he tried to get some space for himself, to not make things too awkward for him. This was the first time in a while that he did something like this, but deep down, they liked this much affection, and more so if it came from Tinker.

''…There.'' ''See? It isn't that bad! Now, you should rest, tomorrow is a long day, and me and the others will support you in what you need!'' ''…Thank you, Tink…''

Vibrato closed his eyes and quickly fell into a slumber - tomorrow was going to be a busy day for sure. By pure instinct though, his head quickly ended up right above Tinkercian's chest just to find a cozy place to set his head on.

''…Love ya, music goat.'' Tinkercian said as he kissed Vibrato's forehead, and quickly enough, he succumbed into a deep sleep too.

[fairykukla]

I had a great Easter.

We hosted my family; my brother and his family, and our eldest adult kid. 7 people is a great number for our space. The house looked amazing.

The Easter Bunny hid eggs at our house, so the two little kids had an absolute blast hunting for them.

My eldest just turned 31, so they got an Easter basket which included birthday gifts.

My brother and his wife got a basket to share.

We made a spiral ham, spring mix salad with goat cheese and strawberries, and little sliders out of turkey or pork. (No beef or dairy for my brother's household.)

I made poke-cake cupcakes which were enjoyed by all. The kiddos were delighted by the "Great feast" which is really gratifying since they're picky eaters.

I even got to play with the kiddos with my Magic Mixies and they were sad when they had to go home.

I had a great Easter.

[soraka-in-warhammer40k]

Space Goat List Design, Episode 2

I did Deathwatch last time, so now let's see who else was at the very bottom winrate wise this edition... and really there's just AdMech. You can't really count vanilla Space Marines due to the high number of new players who get it as their first army- especially when it is an army with so many datasheets that it is really easy to just builld something really bad at random if you don't know what you are doing.

Today's Topic: Adeptus Mechanicus

I wanted to write this post a while ago, but I thought waiting for the points update would make more sense. So let's get right into it: for our detachment I use the Explorator Maniple. Its rule lets you pick one marker at the start of your turn to be your "Acquisition Marker". If you shoot something on (OR FROM!) that marker, you reroll wound rolls of 1. Sounds not very special now, but there's some rules that key into it. Let's see what we got:

As we can see the enhancements all care a lot about that special marker, but for this list I initially plan to use only Genetor one, as a 4+ Invulnerable Save is just too spicy to pass up. Stratagems don't care much about the marker, but they DO offer some transporter-startegies, which we will keep in mind when building our list. Just ignore the consolidation move stratagem, that will never matter except once in a 100 games. Same goes for the 2CP one. It might be relevant in some games where saving up cp for it makes sense, but it's never central to the game plan.

So, how do we utilize the mission rule in combination with the AdMech army rule? Easy. Indirect fire. So our first order is 3x Scorpius Disintegrator, who will run around with Bellasarius Cawl who can give them a re-roll 1s to hit aura.

That times three sure looks spicy combined with its ability to get +1 to the hit roll when targeting infantry. Note that if you combine this with the defensive Doctrina this stacks with "heavy". So you can blast at stuff in the enemy zone easily. Even better when they have stuff on their own marker. Hitting on 3s, rerolling 1s, is already good, but rerolling 1s to wound as well is dang spicy. Of course if you dont need as many hits but require beating better saves, just give everything assault and +1 AP, which essentially is "Ignores Cover" for our purposes. The flexibility here is quite nice, allowing for both "tanks lined up in your zone" and "deathball rolling over the field killing everything it can get a clear shot at" modes of play.

All supposed "optimized" armies who only have an absolute minium of backfield holders and corner-campers will crumble under that barrage, as they now suddenly need to get their more expensive stuff on "homefield duty". Several elite-heavy armies will suffer from this a lot.

For the homefield we'll just take one unit of Rangers. Easy. Can't say no to sticky objective. As AdMech's options for CP-generations are pretty garbage, we add Inquisitor Coteaz for his ability:

You don't generate any points on your own, but this will certainly level the playing field.

I mentioned the Genetor enhancement before, and we will obviously try to slap that on the most durable thing we could find. So the next unit to roll out are 6 Kataphron destroyers followed by a Manipulus Tech Priest carrying the enhancement. They are fairly slow, but assuming you can get them to reach an objective in T2, if you make it the special one (either by regular rule or using the stratagem), they are going to be hard to remove, ESPECIALLY when you send an Onager Dunecrawler with them who we make sure has the SMOKE keyword for the Incense Exhaust Stratagem.

Note that the Dunecrawler can just chill behind a wall for this to work. If the enemy shoots it first the plan does not work, but if you keep it hidden 6'' away just out of sight, that Kataphron blob also gets Stealth and Cover, making them even harder to remove by shooting - and melee is not exactly an option on a unit that hits overwatch on a 5+, lethal hits on a 6, and brings 6d6 flamers to the table.

The rest of the list is fairly straightforward: if your indirect fire barrage deletes all chaff and screening units from the enemy zone, we will need some deep strikes. These allow us to be flexible enough to pick any marker the enemy thinks he can sit on, declare it to be the "special one", and show up there to kick them off. Looking at our Stratagems it would also be nice if it was a transport with the smoke keyword. Dunestriders can't deep strike, but luckily we got something even better: presenting the Archaeopter Transvector, sporting a respectable horde-clearing profile and a hillarious ability:

These are essentillay drop-pods. But better because they can actually do stuff. So of course I took 3 of them, and filled them up with a squad of Skitarii Vanguard and a Skitari Marshall each.

You should always consider shocking one of these in T1 to easily grab a secondary objective (especially if there's a gap in the enemy zone, in hover mode they lose the aircraft keyword and count for secondaries like Engage on all Fronts or Behind Enemy lines, but their true value comes in later turns, when the enemy has no more fodder to screen with, and you can clown all over their zone, putting constant pressure on their homefield - and if he tries to charge them? Just jump back in with Reactive Safeguard!

At first this list might look weird. Where's the chaff for screening? Where's the action monkeys? And yes, this list will never score Investigate Signals for anything worthwhile, but... neither will your opponent if you focus out his chaff units with the indirect fire. AdMech as an army might be weak, but they got no issue on dragging you down to their level.

The full list:

Bellasarius Cawl

Skitarii Marshal

Skitarii Marshal

Skitarii Marshal

Tech-Priest Manipulus (+Genetor Enhancement)

Skitarii Rangers

Skitarii Vanguard

Skitarii Vanguard

Skitarii Vanguard

Archaeopter Transvector

Archaeopter Transvector

Archaeopter Transvector

Kataphron Destroyers (6 models)

Onager Dunecrawler (with Smoke Keyword)

Skorpius Disintegrator

Skorpius Disintegrator

Skorpius Disintegrator

Inquisitor Coteaz

And that wraps up to the smooth 2,000 points worth of units at least when going by the points as they are now.

The constant pressure on their homefield should be enough to shift the primary game in your favor - either the Skitarii and the Skorpius will murder whatever he puts on there, or he puts an expensive vehicle there, and that thing will not be able to help in the midfield - and most likely not hold the point either long-term, you then win by OC.

Things to keep in mind for this list: Rapid Ingress is your friend, ESPECIALLY when you go second. Drop that Transvector behind a wall in their zone that you previously cleared of all screening chaff, and then just deliver the 21 OC inside right onto their marker.

The most curious part about this list: your gameplan in theory is easily thwarted by a horde-army. But most of your guns are horde-clear. 18 shots on every copter, 2d6 blast on every tank. If you play this correctly, in the later game your enemy will only have a few line vehicles left, and nothing to actually score in the game with.

[five--losers]

The way it chuckles is cruel and taunting before it fades out of his ears.

The being, having become more than a voice but less than a person, glides through the halls like a shadow.

The human? No she will have to wait.

The pest? While the devil would be an easy target he isn't ideal.

The usurper? Soon but not yet.

It knows where to go.

The Shadow appears in front of the youngest taking a tall masculine shape he is familiar with. A wide grin covers it's face before it shifts. The Shadow becomes smaller, more feminine, and familiar in ways that it knows will hurt.

"Izroul"

The Shadow says in his mother's voice. It leans in and cups his cheek. It places something hard in his hand.

"It should have been you."

the Shadow disappears

Leaving nothing but a red speckled knife.

"COME THE FUCK BACK HERE!!"

Sam bellows with a dual-toned voice after that shadow, his glamour spell faltering briefly as his legs fold wrong, more animal than human, more goat than man. Then, his blood runs icy. If their father is back somehow and this isn't a trick--

they aren't safe

He barrels after that trace of dark magic, but it cloaks itself, going further into the house... and gone.

"RRRRAH!!"

He has to get outside. The air indoors is too oppressive. He needs to breathe before everything comes back...

"Mika... gotta find Mika..."

...

Damien had been in his room, in the attic. Strumming his guitar. Everything had been peaceful.

Up until that shadow appeared. At first Damien had faltered, believing his patron deity, his old god, Dark Matter, the one who gave him his abilities, but no. No, this was something else. Damien, of all of the brothers, knew evil when he saw and felt it. He knew it better than any mortal being should.

And then, that evil took the form of the only one that could wound him after all these years.

The first one to die by his own hands.

it should have been you

Damien's eyes widened, tragically wounded as that blade appeared in his hands, trembling.... All that work he and Mika had done to help him overcome....

"Oh..."

The dialectics, he needed to remember his dialectics... Breathing...

His grasp on his guitar neck tightened, the strings wailed and snapped, the wood creaked and splintered until the instrument was sundered in his grasp.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD"

"Aha... m-mother...?"

His eyes went white and black, pin-prick pupils trained on that dagger. Everything in his world began to fall away.

At his back, a tear in space tickled at reality, split into a sidelong grin and out poured shadows with shape, doppelgangers, and they rushed towards this intrusion before it vanished completely.

They screeched, like metal across metal, and dispersed throughout the house in a blast.

They found Mika and shot through her, knocking her out of her accounting emails. "Whuh--!? D-Damien? Jesus, what the hell is..."

She shuts her laptop and is on her feet in an instant towards his room. "Damien is everything okay babe??"

She already knows the answer if the doppelgangers came. They only come when he can't.

[ilexdiapason]

"what is the pearl the bard au, ilex?" im SO glad you asked: a primer

first of all, hello jon, apologies for the deception, but i thought it was necessary to get the traffic people in through their scrunkle, so i didn't call the au by its proper name. this is eswap, the empires swap au, featuring pearlthebard. but i'm gonna tell it from her pov so it's all good

the following is a brief summary of what i refer to as "season one" of pearlthebard, and can be read in its entirety by going to @pearlthebard and reading through the linked directory, but if you don't have time for three months of tumblr rp then here's the gist of it!

Once upon a time, cruel gods named Watchers brought in just over a dozen people to play participants in a sick little game of death and betrayal. Pearl was not there. She was there when they did it for a second time, but she didn't win, so she can't remember it. The third time she prefers to forget, for the most part: it's a big awful blur of self harm and mania and dying and killing and losing everything she ever loved without ever really knowing why.

At the end of Double Life, she stands on a hill and watches the man who would not be her soulmate light himself ablaze, and when he blows up it takes her with him.

At this point, we step out of the narrative briefly, because Pearl the Bard doesn't actually begin with Pearl, not really - it begins with my friend Al going "hey i should make an au where the empires smp season 2 characters are role swapped", and hitting number thirteen Oli TheOrionSound, and going "ah shit well i guess i'll swap him with santa perla that works". Thus, Saint Oli, and Pearl the Bard. However, notably, Pearl cannot map neatly on to Oli's backstory of being isekai'd in from the end of Afterlife SMP, because she wasn't there.

At the end of Double Life, Pearl is blown up, but she does win. And a winner, by the usual metrics, earns a prize.

Saint Oli catches her when the blast flings her soul from her lifeless body, looks this incredibly wet cat up and down, and decides to give her a second chance.

She lands in the Empires SMP.

If you've seen Oli's episodes, which you probably should there were only four of them for the entirety of ESMP S2, you'll know roughly how the story goes from here, but the faces are a little different. She steals a goat horn from Princess Katherine of Dawn, she is jailed by Deputy Sausage of the Goblands, and while she awaits her judgement by the Sheriff Smallishbeans, she hears an awfully familiar voice from the floor of the cave asking what she did to get put in there.

Mayor Smajor of Animalia is a normal man. He runs his empire with a fairly loose grip, but he's proactive about developing a safe space for all animal folk to live among the pretty amethysts and not have to conform to the standards of human society. He, though, he's not an animal, no way, behind this dark mask he's completely human and not a cat. He has a life here, has lived in the Empires for years and founded a community with his own paws hands that he's very proud of.

The weird girl in the cage, the woman who brought two HUGE dogs to his lands and then somehow decided it was his fault for hissing at them that they didn't get on, and the new bard his neighbour Sausage has been gossiping to him about all seem to be disconnected, until they very suddenly aren't.

Pearl is a mystery to Scott. Despite him never having seen her before in his life, she seems convinced that he's either a regret or a danger, and she even goes so far as to stab him to death rather than tell him what the hell is her problem with him. He gets a little bit obsessed, if he's honest - finds her house to show up at it, insists that Sausage keep him updated on her, even starts to lose sleep. And when he does sleep he has strange dreams, dreams of being far taller, being tailless, being ten times better with a weapon than the Mayor of Animalia would ever need to be.

Pearl, steadfast in the conviction that the best thing she can do is get far the hell away from this weird, tiny Not-Smajor and never speak to or of him again if possible, runs to the distant shores of Sanctuary. And then squats in the Eversea. And then borrows Joey's spare room in the Evermoore. And every time, some coincidence sends Scott dangerously close to her escape path, forces them to make small talk, gives them both another nightmare of another time that Scott can't remember and Pearl wishes she could forget.

And then eventually they do catch up with one another in the streets of Chromia, and Scott refuses to back down until Pearl admits to him the truth of whether she really belongs in this world and what her connection is to his dreams and why he feels so weirdly, encompassingly guilty when he looks at her, and... well, i won't spoil that, that was a good one, i liked that one, you should go read it.

But yeah! Pearl the Bard! It's good! Soulmate drama forever :D

[icyhotheartwritings]

OKAY SO

At the very start of the season, Docm77 built a world-eater to blast a 500 x 500 block hole right down to bedrock to use as space for his farms and base, called the Perimeter. The Perimeter is right next to where Grian, MumboJumbo, and GoodTimesWithScar settled their own bases. This is all setup for one of the wildest prank wars in Hermitcraft history.

It all started because Grian didn’t want to finish the back of his base. He didn’t want to finish it so bad that GeminiTay, ImpulseSV, and Scar held an intervention to get him to finish it, that he PROMPTLY managed to distract Scar from and they both raced off next door to see Doc’s latest game-defying contraption - a redstone tunnel bore in the wall of the Perimeter. That they managed to blow up. They did their best to rebuild it, but these two are builders and not redstoners and therefore had No Idea how to do that, so they just left a little apology present and got the fuck out of dodge.

Unfortunately for them Doc doesn’t do apology presents too well! So he fired back by setting a trap for Grian that blew up Mumbo’s front door (I still don’t know whether or not that was intentional or a slight misfire), and managed to hang DOZENS of wither skulls (you know, the ones the wither shoots out of its heads?? the exploding ones?? yeah those) in midair over the main square of Scar’s theme park.

So now that there’s three wronged parties (two perpetrators and an innocent bystander), they got together to form The Buttercups to band together and fight the goat. Grian egged the Perimeter with hundreds of chickens, they built a cute little hippie camp on the edge of the Perimeter, Doc made flying butterflies to blow up Grian and Mumbo’s bases, both parties made giant robots to fight each other, Doc enlisted Rendog to help spy on the Buttercups by building a secret room under their camp and stuffing sniffers in there, the Buttercups graffitied the Perimeter with a goddamn Live Laugh Love sign, Doc tore it down and replaced it with a trapped Grind Optimize Automate Thrive (G. O. A. T., if you notice) sign that ended up blowing up their camp and all the sniffers underneath, at some point Doc also covered the Buttercup’s bases with hundreds of duped dragon eggs but I can’t remember when that happened in the timeline, and then like half of the involved parties went on vacation.

Grian came back first and he had the brilliant (“bRiLlIaNt”) idea to just. Cover the entire Perimeter. All 250,000 blocks of it. But not in one flat plane of dirt, no no NO. This man is a BUILDER. And Scar is a builder too. These motherfuckers TERRAFORMED it. Planted trees and everything. But since it was a race against the clock to beat Doc getting back on the server, they hijacked the weekly Hermitcraft meeting to be all “hey anyone wanna help us cover the Perimeter?” AND THEY GOT LIKE SEVEN PEOPLE TO HELP. I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH THAT LITERALLY NOBODY EXCEPT MUMBO, GRIAN, SCAR, REN, AND DOC WERE EVER INVOLVED IN THIS WAR AND YET THE SPIRIT OF HERMITCRAFT IS JUST THAT NOBODY CAN RESIST A POINTLESS ENDEAVOR TO FUCK WITH THEIR FRIENDS. I SAY POINTLESS BECAUSE DOC CLEANED IT UP QUICKLY AND EASILY.

Anyway. They threw the Perimeter under a rug and all their videos dropped one after the other like right before Doc came back, and the man lost his shit swearing bloody bloody vengeance on everyone involved on Twitter. Hermitcraft is a family-friendly server, right, and in his latest video he opened it saying it was REALLY hard to not swear like a sailor. This whole thing is wild and you really gotta watch at least the Hermitcraft Recap to get it all, cuz I know I forgot some things

SORRY THIS IS LATE august chewed me up and spit me out but HOLY SHIT THAT IS INCREDIBLE. Oh my god. I have to get into Hermitcraft Immediately