#And it's always fun to put a character in a bottle for some reason

[manescroissant]

Request of Pyrus, @zasamorpha OC!

[angel-eyes05]

going over easy

pairing: bob reynolds x powered!thunderbolts!fem!reader

summary: two of the same. after breaking through inital barriers, you and the sentry appear to be inseperable, a pull almost forcing you two to each other. the strength of that pull has been getting pretty testy recently, and the two of you begin to wonder who you are to the other.

warnings/info: nsfw and mdni warning by the end of the fic, ill section off that part if you just wanna read the cutey parts, veryyyyyyy soft sex, no use of y/n, this bob is gonna be a little different from how i see him in a lot of other fics so disclaimer about that ig, but dw he's still very soft and sweet, oral sex and fingering (f!receiving), self depreciation on readers side, lots of my headcanons are gonna shine through here, reader is powered as well (yes that is gonna play into this lol) and is less of a blank slate than usual (aka shes kinda side rip), a scene in the void so we can know reader a little more and just for plot purposes lol, bob's powers are gonna be limited to whatever we saw showcased in thunderbolts so please dont get picky if somethings comic inaccurate thanks, its bob so ofc theres a little bit of angst too but dw this is very fluffy as well we love being well rounded lol

word count: 13.3k

notes: so guess who's obsessed with thunderbolts now.....and guess what half of the reasoning is.....if your guess was a man YOUD BE RIGHT!!!! i had to write for him ofc, i put a steve harrington fic on pause for this i had to jump on it lol. one thing i will say about bob fics that annoy me is that ofc everyone turns bob into a cutesy pootsy uwu boy which, hate me or whatever, he is NOTTTTT to me, that man was so sassy and sarcastic in the vault (to walker especially lol) so i wanted that to come out a little more here while still being his naturally sweet and soft self. i go a little bit into 2016 mcu fandom mode on some of the early character descriptions and relationships BUT CAN YOU BLAME A GIRL CAUSE IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE BACK, I JUST HAD TO </3. i also didnt proofread this cause yet again its like 1am when im posting this and im so tired so if you catch anything uhhhh my bad lol. anyways this is standard to most of my other fics, so have fun lol enjoy!!!

dividers by: @cafekitsune

You always overcooked your eggs. It was part of your routine at this point in your life. As a kid, your irrationally large fear of getting salmonella caused you to force your mom to always burn your eggs, chicken, and other foods of the sorts. It didn't even taste bad to you. It was all you had ever known. Uncomfortable, but natural. You scooped the rubbery eggs out of the pan and onto your plate while you attempted to squirt whatever ketchup you could out of the bottle. Taking your lunch, you leaned on the kitchen island and stared out of the sweeping windows of The Watchtower.

Valentina finding you was complicated. On one hand, you were out of the hell hole of a compound you called a home. However though, her manipulation paired with constant missions and training proved to be its own task entirely. And still with all that, your mind had a knack for traveling back to that dark, damp room. Like a looming threat over your head that if you ever messed up, that's where you would return.

That fear pushed you for the past few years. You worked till your bones cracked fixing up Valentina's messes. It was monotonous, but you had convinced yourself to be grateful for the opportunity to become something more with what you had. You had a special gift after all. Thrusted onto you, sure, but Valentina said that it meant you were worth something now. A living shield and sword. Each time you got hit, your body was able to process the kinetic energy into physical blasts. Meaning dodging an attack was actually bad form on your part. So you got hit. A lot. Most days you'd stumble back to your apartment, knocked in the head so silly you didn't know what was up or down.

But it was good work. Kept you busy. That was until Valentina attempted to have you assassinated, trying to tie up all her loose ends. That's all you were to her at the end of the day. A fly on the way she had to clean up before her guests arrived. Turns out though, she had lots of other flies on the walls, who would in fact turn their forces against her, becoming the world's New Avengers in the process.

One of Yelena's first personal tasks on the job was to find any other lost associates of Valentina. Lucky for you, you fell right into that category. After proving yourself physically capable and trustworthy to her and the rest of the team, you eventually joined as an official member. Your rise to glory had been long and tough, but man was the view from the top nice.

As you grew closer with each of the teammates, you noticed each of their little knick-knacks. Yelena was very easy to let you in, almost like she was begging to share herself with someone else. She must've gotten it from her father, Alexei. He didn't take anything more than four hours to warm up to you. The other three went at a much slower pace, Ava and you eventually bonding over your mutual teasing for Walker, who you made sure knew it was all in good fun. Bucky was last, but it seemed thats how he was with most people. You let him take his time, which seemed to work well in the end. All of them had made their way.

Well. Almost.

Bob was kind of a weird guy. He was kind of an Avenger? But not really? If anything, he was more of their dog that would show up to public appearances with you and the team, but never missions. He spent most of his time lounging around or cleaning up the Watchtower, or in sessions with his therapist. He was always looming around, but kept a specific distance. Mainly physical. Whenever you'd seem to be about to brush by him, he'd scatter away, like a cat who got spooked. You had talked to Yelena about it before, but she said to just give him his time. That this was probably natural after his "incident" a few months back.

You weren't in New York for it, but it of course was on the news everywhere. How a sea of black ink had devoured the city and all of its civilians in their own personalized trauma nightmare. Something you were secretly grateful to have missed. You knew exactly what you'd see if you were in there.

In the recent time of your arrival, you had managed to find and take up your role in your little group. Their own little weird mage, banned from making food for anyone but yourself. No one else liked your burnt food, big shocker.

As you wrapped up with said burnt lunch, you took your plate and utensils to the sink, as a pair of bare feet patted into the room. "Good morning sleepyhead," you called out, knowing who they belonged to already. "Morning's a bit of a stretch, it's like what, 1:30 already?" Bob replied, mid yawn. "I told you guys to start forcing me up earlier," he complained. "Yeah yeah, but Yelena says it's good for you. Your body needs its rest after the serum treatment," you retorted. "Doesn't..." he paused mid sentence to check his sleep tracker on his watch. "....14 hours seem like a little much?" "Hey, your body's gonna take what it needs," you said, finally turning around to face him. He was wearing his usual lounge outfit, a gigantic, comically oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. His body had grown incredibly sensitive to touch after the serum, so the less fabric tightening down on him, the better.

Bob gave a half smile to your comment and attempted to wipe the drowsiness off his face. "You can leave that for me, it's fine," Bob commented, as you took the dish soap and drizzled it over your dirty plate and pan. "I don't mind, I'm already here anyways," you insisted, turning on the tap. Bob sighed and shrugged his shoulders backwards in an attempt to wake his body up. "Alright, but I'm taking charge on the stovetop," he insisted, walking over to your area.

Something must've been in the air today, because this was the most Bob had talked to you in a while, and this was definitely the closest he had stood near you ever before. His presence was a sweet one, as he himself was a sweet guy. You had seen it in the way he acted with everyone else. You knew it probably had to deal with the fact that you were the newcomer, a different face than what he was used to, but you wanted to badly to have something that close with him too. A deep, lingering jealousy had proved to be a close friend of yours when you would see how he would act with John or Yelena compared to how he would act with you.

Hopefully, this was a step in the right direction.

"You know where the others went?" Bob almost immediately asked.

Or maybe not.

"Downstairs in a meeting with Valentina. I got a pass to skip on this one." In the last meeting you had been to, Bucky had to hold you down before you had the chance to blast her smug smirk off her face.

Bob made a hum in acknowledgment. "Can I ask you something?" He nodded, which you caught out of the corner of your eye. "How do you feel about....her?" Bob paused for a moment.

When Yelena had told you Valentina was at majority blame for The Void Incident, you had no doubt in believing it. You didn't know how the others were so okay with it, but Ms. de Fontaine being your boss still unsettled you. You didn't like the idea that she was still overseeing all of your actions and controlling how you were supposed to be acting towards the public. Especially after the shit she's pulled. Once Yelena explained the situation, about the blackmail shock collar the team had on her if she ever took anything too far, you felt a little more at ease about it. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't shake off the paranoia about being in this situation with her.

"Fine," Bob responded. You placed the plate down in the sink and turned to face him finally. "That's all you're gonna give me? Fine?" He gave a deep, annoyed sigh. "Well what do you want me to say? That I don't like her? That I don't trust her? That she's the reason I'm like this now and when it didn't go the way she planned, she killed me? Hmm?" You froze a little bit. You hadn't seen this side of him before. The team said it came out a little bit when he would go "Sentry-Mode" (a name made on Alexei's part). You sighed and went back to washing your dish. Bob rubbed his face again. "Sorry, I just thought it was pointless to state the obvious." You smirked a little bit. "Well that's one thing right. Just trying to fill the air I guess." "I know....sorry, that was mean." There's the Bob you know. Always apologizing. "You're good."

The air was stuffy with a tension for the next few minutes while you cleaned the kitchen. Up until a wet glass plate slipped out of your hands and crashed onto the floor, shattering into a billion little pieces. Bob flinched at the sound, on the other side of the island wiping down the counter. You froze and chuckled to yourself a bit. "Woah, you okay?" he asked, concerned. "Yeah, yeah, just a bit of a ditz today," you said, wiping your hand across your face. "You're good, just stay where you are for a sec, I don't want you to get any in your feet," Bob warned, going into first responder mode as he assessed the situation. "I wanna try this out for a second," he insisted.

You watched closely and stilly, as Bob took a deep breath in, closed his eyes, and put his hands out. Suddenly, the glass shards around your feet jittered and lifted into the air slowly, as Bob opened his eyes and guided them to the trash can. Once he was done, he released his breath and dropped his hands. "Well look at mister big shot powers over here!" you cheered. "Bucky let you start practicing again recently?" "Yeah, a little bit here and there just so I don't go overboard again," he blushed a light pink. "Keep it up," you smiled at him.

Before you took another step, you looked down at the ground and noticed a particularly large piece of glass. "Oops, looks like you missed one hot-rod." "Shit, sorry, let me try one more time," he said closing his eyes again. "No no, don't worry, it's fine, I'll just pick this one up," you insisted, reaching down to pick it up. "No, wait, you'll cut yourself!" Bob shouted, almost running over to reach you. "Bob, it's fine I pro-."

As Bob's hand grabbed onto your wrist, you felt a spike of shivers roll down your arm. The first time he had made contact with you, and his hands were so soft....

You couldn't focus on it for long though, looking up and seeing a face of pure horror on Bob's face. You looked at him confused. You were quick to join him though as streams of black slithered across the floor and over your eyes. The last thing you remember was Bob's hand ripping off your wrist, desperately called out your name as the shadows took his place.

~~~~~

Your eyes peeled open, as you tried to assess your surroundings after the chaos. It was eerily quiet, a leaky faucet dripping as the only sound. The room was dark, damp, and cold. Concrete floors and walls, a chamber pot in the corner, and a cot with a wrinkled, thin blanket shoved against the wall. After your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you saw her. The lone decoration of the room. A poster of 1961's Breakfast at Tiffany's, Audrey Hepburn's face faded and discolored with time. The more you stared, the more you recognized this room. You knew where you were. And worst of all, you knew exactly what day this was.

With almost perfect timing, the metal door slide open with angry force. Three armored men burst into the room, as you heard something shuffle itself across the floor. You didn't even notice her at first.

A girl, shoved up into the corner of the wall, head hanging over the chamber pot as she wiped the bile off her mouth. Your memory was fuzzy, but she couldn't have been older than 17 at the time. With short, flat, oily, botched up hair. Wires were bursting out of her neck and down her back, connecting her to a running machine in the wall for vitals.

You. An older one.

The most notable feature was her frame. You would expect someone in this situation to look malnourished, seconds away from death. On the contrary, uncanny muscles were bulging out of her arms and upper back, like they were clawing to be let out. A product of the treatment, like a sumo wrestler on steroids.

The men rushed over to that version of you, ripping the wires out of her neck and latching on a power damper collar in their place. That collar itself was an omen. Can't torture the girl who can absorb the pain and shoot it back out. You'd just be throwing fuel onto the fire.

They forced younger you up to your feet as their superior walked into your room. You could feel your heart stop in your chest as you searched in desperation for a way out. You called out for Bob, Yelena, anyone at all. Almost like your mind was in tune with your decisions, the metal door slammed shut just before you could run out. You leaned your head on the door, not bearing to look, barely standing to listen.

Your old superior examined younger you and the rest of the room, the poster in particular. He smiled sadistically at it. "A real stunner she was, eh?" You scoffed at his words while younger you darted her eyes away. In one swift movement, he ripped the poster down to reveal a makeshift hole halfway into the wall. Your escape route. Taking a deep breath, you finally turned around to face the incoming carnage.

"You think you're smart huh?" the man asked her. Younger you tilted her head up, looking him straight in the eyes, too worn down to care what would happen to her. He smirked. Her silence was enough of an answer. He snapped at his employees, one of them slamming the butt of his gun into her temple in response. You couldn't help but flinch.

The superior slide open the metal door again, as his pawns dragged her unconscious body out the door, while you closely followed. The harsh hospital lights left a sting to your eyes as you traveled through your mind's endless hallways. Finally, you reached the chamber. The door slide open to reveal a dentist chair and an array of instruments littered throughout the room.

The men placed her down into the chair, one of them injecting a serum into her arm to wake her up. Younger you shot awake, pulled down by different leather restraints. Bile filled your mouth as you were reduced to being so helpless to just watch. A doctor followed into the room soon after the six of you, his face burned into your mind.

He took two long prongs, pinching them onto the skin of her elbow, and turned on a machine to send out electrical shocks. After a signal from the commander, he sent out the first wave. You couldn't help but turn your head away, holding back your own tears as phantom pains of remembrance ripped through your skin.

The worst part of all of this was how younger you barely struggled at all, only letting out blood curdling screams of pain. She had accepted her fate hours ago, knowing this was inevitable. Why fight it. It would only make it worse. It made you sick to your stomach. How much she had given up at this point.

A pause in the shocks. You turned your head back to see the commander walking up to the girl, sticking his face down to her's. "You knew this was going to happen?" The girl nodded her head slowly, with the energy she had left. He scoffed. "Then you're dumber than I thought." He stepped back again and signaled for the second wave.

Not baring to take it again, you went against your own judgement and rushed between the men, ripping the prongs off of the girl's body. You met her eyes for a split second.

Behind the numbness, you could see her fear. Roaring underneath the surface.

Before you could sense the rest, you felt a slam into your own temple, knocking you down to the floor. You looked up to see all the men looking at you now, the first time they had done so. The commander pushed past them, staring you down. He crouched down to your level, pushing a stray hair back behind your ear as you shuddered. "Still the same dumb girl I see," he smirked.

In a split second, he grabbed your arm, attaching one of the prongs to it, as the still working machine sent hundreds of volts into your arm in a split second, slicing through your nerves.

~~~~

Before you had time to react to the pain, your body in the real world roared back to life, as you screamed and coughed to catch your breath. You found yourself sitting down in the middle of the kitchen as your hands scrambled all over the ground as you hyperventilated, trying to ground yourself. "Woah, woah, woah, easy, I got you, you're safe now!" You looked up and finally noticed Yelena sitting on the ground in front of you. She had both hands placed on your shoulders, looking deep into your eyes to help you center yourself. You frantically looked around the room, finding the other team members close by, staring at you. Eventually, you found Bob, walking out of the room with Bucky close on his tail. You wanted to talk to him, knowing he was probably upset too, but you had bigger things on your mind.

"I.....I..." You couldn't get the words out. Before you could try again, Yelena softly pulled you into a hug, that you returned very quickly. "You're good now, okay?" she asked. You nodded gently into her shoulder. With more deep breaths and a few tears, you eventually were brought back down. You pulled out of the hug, and began to stand on your feet.

"Yelena, I told you I needed the team up to the helicopter deck in five minutes, do you guys take pleasure in disobeying me or wha-." Valentina bursted out of the elevator, rambling on about what they were probably discussing in the meeting. She only paused after noticing the obvious tension in the room. She looked at you, hunched over and mascara running down your face. "Well what happened to you this time?"

~~~~~~~

The ambient blue glow of the tv washed over your face, as your eyes glazed over the screen. In the few hours since the incident, the team decided it was best for you to sit out on this mission. So you had cooped yourself up in your room, trying anything to distract your mind from going back to that place. Every now and again, you'd hear light pacing footsteps in the hallway outside your door.

You hadn't spoken to Bob since you went under. He hadn't made any attempts to apologize yet. Yelena said it would probably take some time and she would talk to him as soon as she got back. You didn't want to wait until then to make things right, but knowing how fragile both of you were at the moment, you didn't want to accidentally make anything worse.

When the footsteps finally stopped, you sat up a little bit in your bed. Three soft knocks followed. You paused. "Come in." It wasn't him.

Ava gave you a soft "Hi" before stepping inside and closing the door behind her. "How was the mission?" you asked her. She shrugged her shoulders. "More of the same really, you didn't miss much." She gave a little hop onto your bed, laying down on her stomach next to you. "How you feeling?" You gave a little sigh to her. "A little better. I just think I need time." She nodded at your response, and gently held your hand. "You need me, you know where to find me, okay?" You smiled and nodded at her kind gesture. Ava put up a front with the rest of the time, teasing many of the others and acting nonchalant. But something else came out in her around you. That little girl, normally shoved under years of pain and killing.

"Can I ask you something?" you asked her. "Of course." You took a deep breath in and looked her in the eye. "Back when....he took over New York, what did you see?" Ava took a minute to think to herself. "Well, I went through three different rooms to find Bob and Yelena at the center." You adjusted yourself to a more comfortable, open position, trying to create a more welcoming energy in the room as Ava got vulnerable with you. "First room was with my parents and how I got....this way." She took off one of her gloves from her suit, showing her hand phasing between multiple quantum planes at once. A painful experience, she described it as. "Second room was one of my first missions with S.H.I.E.L.D., I had to take out an unarmed doctor."

She twiddled with her fingers, looking down as she picked at the nails. "Last one was a fight I had with an old friend.....he was trying to protect me from....myself I guess....said a lot of things I regret." You frowned down at her, placing a hand on her back to rub it in condolences. "That Bill guy you were talking about earlier, right?" She nodded. "But anyways, I've learned not to dwell on it anymore. My life is different now." She looked up at you. "All of ours are now." You nodded in acknowledgment.

"We're never gonna let those bastards get you again. Can you trust me on that?" She held your face between her hands. You nodded. She looked at you deeper. "I can. All of you," you verbalized. She sat up and pulled you in tightly for a hug. Ava was your best friend. You could trust her more than anyone else here on that.

As she pulled away, she cleared her throat. "Can I ask you a question now?" You nodded. "Do you blame Bob for what happened?"

You took a second.

"No." Ava raised an eyebrow at you. "I really don't." "Okay good, just making sure." You smiled at her. "Is Yelena talking to him?" "She's gonna try to at least," Ava sighed. "He's gonna be like this for a while. Scampery, avoidant. We've learned it's best to let him work through it." You nodded. "But he's gonna be okay, right?" Ava looked up at you, slight confusion in her eyebrows. "Yeah....." You nodded. "Okay....good."

Ava sat in silence for a little bit. "You care more about him being okay than you being okay?" You looked at her, clogs turning in your mind. "When you put it like that, I guess." She looked even more confused now. "Why?"

.....

"I don't know."

~~~~~~~

The next few days were spent with you trying to answer that question for yourself. You and Bob's relationship before this was never a super close one. You always naturally kept a distance from each other. It didn't make much of a difference if things went back to normal from this or not. So why did it matter? Why did it matter if he started talking to you again? Because man did you want him to again. And badly too.

It was like he was playing a prank on you at this point. Every time you would enter a room he was in too, he would find some excuse to leave, leaving you with a sour taste in your mouth. You knew the other team members noticed it too, because you would see one of them usually follow out of the room with him to confront him. You didn't want him to take the blame for this. You knew he was just taking this healing stage at his own pace. But man did you just wish his pace would go a little faster.

At least he wouldn't go on missions with you guys, then you'd really be screwed.

You tended to forget a very important fact because of that.

"Val needs you all downstairs in an hour, there's that press conference about the rebranding today." You could hear Mel talking to the group from your cracked bedroom door. You had been snooping in there, since Bob was in the control room outside with everyone else. "Bob, she wants you there too this time, says the more members there in support, the better."

Shit.

You could hear his whiny groan from your room. "Do I have to?" "Unless you wanna tell Val yourself." That must've been a huge wake up call for him, cause you could hear him rush your way to his room to get ready. He made split second eye contact with you before closing the door. Your heart almost broke with the swiftness his eyes darted away.

You closed your door and started getting ready yourself before you had to take orders from anyone. Most press meetings required a more casual, business attire. Ones like this however, required full glam, full hair, and full costume. You were particularly fast at the getting ready process, especially since you didn't have a thousand gun holsters you had to fasted on, unlike your other team members.

Your costume was also fairly simple. With the nature of your powers, your previous suits had a knack for getting the sleeves torn off, so you decided to replace that design with a simple, black, mock neck bodysuit. Your pants were standard black cargo pants, multiple pockets in case you needed any physical weapons on you in an emergency. They were tied off with a pair of heavy duty combat boots.

For press conferences, Valentina usually requested you to go the most glam with hair and makeup out of the group, since the other two girls were slightly opposed to it. So once that was finally done, you walked out of your room into the control deck, ready to go.

You usually sat there for a good amount of time by yourself, until one of the guys would join you. But this time, Yelena was the first one out after you, albeit half dressed, in the middle of doing her eyeliner, and a makeup bag in her hand.

She looked at you, slightly distressed. "What's up?" you asked. She clenched her teeth. "You're gonna say no, I know it." "Can you just ask me?" She took in a deep sigh. "Can you help Bob with his hair and makeup?" It took every bone in your body not to burst out laughing at her request.

For Valentina and the press, everyone in the tower had to be dressed up. Including the guys. Not too much, but some to cover up most of their "tough guy" looks. Almost like a stage makeup of sorts. The stylists you guys had were always wrangled up with Alexei and Walker, always opposed to the idea and needing extra support, so Yelena would take care of Bob's and Bucky would handle his own.

"I'm already running behind and Val wants Barnes and I down early to practice responses." You looked at her, baffled. "And Ava can't do it?" Yelena raised her eyebrows at you. "It's a miracle Ava can do her own." True, unfortunately. "Yelena, you're kidding me right?" She walked closer to the couch you were sitting at. "He's a grown man, can't he do it himself?" "Yes, but unfortunately he's also a very slow learner too." You shook your head to yourself. "Have you even been in the tower for the past week, he won't even look at me right now," you whispered. She sighed to herself. "I know I know, and this would be a one time thing I promise, I just really need the help right now."

You leaned back into the couch and washed your hands over your face. "And not to be an instigator, but I think it would help you two also." You snorted at her sentence, taking your hands off your eyes to see how serious her face was. You took a deep breath and thought it over for a second or two. "Fine," you gave her, deadpanned. "But you owe me so much right now." Yelena let out a sigh of relief. "I really do, thank you." She dropped the makeup bag, presumably filled with the tools you'd need, in your lap, and bolted towards her room.

~~~~~

The door to the room loomed over your head, seemingly getting taller with every passing second you stood in front of it. Biting the bullet, you finally gave four slight knocks on his door, the same knock Yelena used for all of you. Yes, it was a bit of a trick, but you knew he wouldn't have let you in otherwise. You heard a soft, kind "Come in" from the other side of the door that made your heart warm up ever so slightly. You took a deep breath, and slowly opened the door. Your heart froze up again when you saw the way his smile dropped when you walked in. He was dressed in his usual attire for conferences, a pressed, slightly too big for him, tuxedo with dress shoes. But of course, his hair was in its natural, shaggy mess and you could spot any upcoming pimples from a mile away. Your job for the afternoon.

"What ar-" "Before you kick me out can I explain!" you jumped in before he could interject. He waited a second before nodding. "Yelena had to go downstairs early and doesn't have the time to get you ready, and before you ask, yes everyone else is too busy, and yes, I am your last resort."

His eyes darted away from you and to the ground, the most of an invitation over as you were gonna get. You took a seat on his partially made bed, observing the rest of his room. It took you a second to remember that you've never been in here before. It was a lot cleaner than you expected it to be. Then again, he spent almost all of his time in the tower, so he had a lot more time to clean than the rest of you did.

There were scattered band posters on the dark blue walls of the room, and a few collected rocks lying on his T.V. stand. You opened up the bag and took out his hair gel first. Val liked his long, overgrown hair to be slicked back for press events. You squirted some of the gel on your hands and lathered it deep into them.

When you went for his hair though, he moved his head slightly back away from you. You immediately put your hands down in response. "Okay, let's get this straight now," you snapped. "I get you're mad at me for whatever reason, but I'm not gonna take this from you right now, especially when I'm trying to help you. So either grow the fuck up, or you can do it yourself, okay?" His eyes widened a little bit. You were never the mean type towards anyone on the team, but when your limits were tested like this, you had no choice but to respond.

Putting back any feelings he had, he straightened up and leaned closer into you. "Thank you," you responded. "I'll be quick, I promise. Out of your bubble in no time." Your hands tangled into his hair, pushing the light brown strands back in straight lines. Before it would get tangled in by the gel, you could feel how soft his hair was. Even if it was overgrown, you could tell he took pride in it.

As you pushed his hair back into a makeshift mullet, making sure the gel wasn't ruining his curls at the bottom, you noticed something. Just out of your peripherals, you could see his eyes, darting every which way. They couldn't stay still for more than a second. Sometimes they would be at your shoulders, at your legs, your hair. Most of the time though, they were trying to find where you weren't. But each time, they would land magnetically back to you.

You couldn't help but let out a little laugh to yourself, a little breath out of your nose. "What?" Bob reflexively asked. You smiled and shook your head. "I really don't get you, man." His brows furrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?" Finally finished with his hair, you untangled your hands and brought them back to you, his eyes following them. "Bob, you're scared shitless of me."

A glow of pink wiped over his cheeks. "N-no I'm not." You laughed right in his face, as you went into the makeup bag and pulled out primer, foundation, and concealer. You squeezed lines of primer from the bottle onto his face. Before you could use your hands to rub it in though, he quickly grabbed your wrist again. Same way as before. You froze for a second before you realized, nothing was happening. You weren't going back in. You realized why when you looked at Bob's face, focused now more than you had ever seen before.

Your face and demeanor softened. "Bob." His face turned to yours, fear glazing over his eyes, trying desperately to keep the void from taking you again. You took his calloused fingers in your hands, peeling them away from your wrist and holding it with your own. You looked into his deep blue eyes, almost lost in them.

"I'm not scared of you."

His breath shook at your words, and you could've sworn you saw his eyes slightly water up. "I never have been. And I don't plan on changing that." The tension in his body melted away at those magic words. His lips pursed inwards as he looked down at your hands intertwined. "Can you trust me on that?" He gave a slight nod to you. You took his chin to your hand and pulled it up to look at you. His eyes were fully watery now. "Can you?" It took him a second.

".....I can."

You smiled at him.

"Thank you," he whispered. You closed your eyes and nodded to him. "You're welcome." The two of you sat for a moment like this, hands tangled in each other and observing each other's faces. You noticed how large his hands were. You never really considered your hands as small either, so the fact they were still much bigger than yours surprised you. They were restless as well, constantly moving between your own fingers, like they were getting a feel for how yours were. This was the most you had ever seen him before, in more ways than one.

Eventually, you let his hand go and cleared your throat. "Let's get you ready now, I'd rather avoid an earful from Val after the conference." Bob nodded and sat up straight again, as you rubbed the primer into his face with your thumbs. His slightly stubbled chin tickled the pads of your fingers in an almost hypnotic notion. Before you even knew it, your hands were staying caressing his face. Bob didn't seem to mind it, his eyes slowly closing, and even leaning his face into your touch further.

The two of you immediately snapped out of it at the sound of Bob's door slamming open. Mel stood at the door, panting, hand leaning against the frame for support. "What the hell is taking so long?" she asked frantically. "Uhhhhhh." The lack of an answer you two could come up with only angered her more. She rolled her eyes and pointed to you. "Get downstairs, I'll finish up with him." You looked back to Bob, smiled, gave his cheek a quick pat as you stood up and walked out the door.

Before Mel closed the door behind you, you caught Bob's eyes, hypnotically following you. As if he was searching for you. For more.

~~~~~~

Something shifted between the two of you after that day. No more avoidance. You found Bob coming to you for anything now. Whether he was having one of his bad days, needed help cleaning something up, or even if he just wanted to watch a movie with someone. Equally, you found yourself going to him for almost anything. Almost.

The main difference between the two of you was Bob had told you everything about him. You knew him like a book. Every page studied and memorized. But when he would ask you something about your past, you always managed to slither out of the question. You didn't mean to be so secretive around him. It was more of a reflex at this point. You'd done it with everyone. He was included in that group.

You could tell it hurt him though. Knowing there was some part of you that either didn't trust him enough to know, or maybe just didn't want him to know at all. Hopefully with time you'd be able to open up, not just to him, to everyone. But that's all the two of you could do for now. Hope.

A sign of that coming close had finally appeared, a new impulse crossing your mind. Dating.

For obvious reasons, relationships had never been a top priority for you. But as things were slowing down in your life, you began to feel left out of the "dating in NYC" craze. Without much experience under your belt, you decided to go through the dating app route. That proved to be more challenging than you thought. "I don't think men on here have ever had a conversation with a woman before," you'd complain to Bob or Ava constantly, usually followed by a large eye roll from them.

Lightning seemed to have struck though. On your way home from grocery shopping, you managed to bump into a guy at your bus stop. It was something straight out of a movie, the way the wind knocked of your cap and he had managed to catch it for you. The two of you spent the entire bus ride talking, and he eventually asked you for your number once you reached your stop. Tonight was date night. He had planned a special dinner in the city, and the two of you would go dancing after.

"Are you sure this guy's not like some stalker or something? You are a superhero after all, there's weird fans all over the city," Ava protested. Her and Bob were sitting in your room as you got ready. She sat on your light yellow beanbag on the floor, tossing a crumpled up paper with the address to the restaurant on it into the air. Bob was laying down on your bed, extra quiet today for some reason, staring up at the ceiling.

"He's not, I promise, Bob saw him too, he can vouch for me," you waved her off, looking in your mirror trying to do your makeup. You could see Ava look to Bob behind you through the mirror. She raised her eyebrow at him, which he just shrugged off. "I'd just prefer you not get kidnapped tonight, so try to avoid that if you can," she turned back to you. "Ava, if he's a normal citizen, I'll have zero problems defending myself, if anything happens," you defended. You sprayed some setting spray onto your face, and got up to change into your outfit.

Your bedroom had an attached bathroom, so you went in there to change. Once you closed the door, you took off your current sweats and baggy turtleneck sweater and slipped on your outfit. Your date asked you to go a little more formal than normal first date, so you specially picked out your outfit from your closet: a black boat-neckline midi dress, with a little thigh slit for less formal environments. It was gifted to you a few years back, but you hadn't worn it since. There was one glaring issue you noticed.

Throughout your time in the lab, you had obviously developed some scars. You didn't mind most of them, being electrocution scars, which made for some pretty cool war stories. Photoshoot photographers were particular fans of those. Some scars, however, weren't exactly your favorites. The specific one being a thick, prominent scar, starting at your right collarbone and trailing up to the back of your neck. It was fairly recent, compared to the rest of your scars, so the fading process was far from beginning. It was part of the reason you stuck to turtleneck fashion so much. But with this dress here, it was finally out in the open, something you weren't so sure you were comfortable with.

After convincing yourself though, you were willing to bite the bullet if it meant looking all dolled up for once. After a final examination in the bathroom mirror, you took a step out the door to show off to your friends. Both of them seemed to jump back to the positions they were in before you walked into the bathroom, almost like they were gossiping girls before. But once they noticed you, the air in the room stopped.

Ava was the first one to give out a little supportive holler when you stepped out, getting a little giggle from you. "What are you waiting for, give us a twirl!" she shouted. Obliging, you gave a little curtsey and spin. Turning to Bob, you could see a little smile curling up from this mouth. "So, what do you think?" you asked him, hoping for some words out of him today. "You look beautiful. Really really beautiful." There was a slight tint of melancholy in his words. You believed what he said, that was sincere. But his smile was actively lying to you.

His eyes spoke the truth though. You watched him as his eyes traced the way your dress hugged your body, highlighting all the beautiful parts of you, leaving little to the imagination. You saw his eyes stop at your collarbone, and his smile faded away. Just before you could see his mouth open to ask about it, you jumped right in. "Well, I better get going, I don't wanna miss my train," you frantically said, grabbing your kitten heels and strapping them on.

Ava and Bob followed you out of your room and towards the elevator out of the tower. Ava gave you a tight hug, whispering a little "Text me if you think he's a killer," before letting go. Bob's body seemed to stutter a little bit before giving you a hug. He had been more in control of the void spreading through his touch, but he was still cautious over it. His hugs always felt like home. The way he would squeeze you just the right amount and how well your chin fit into the crook of his neck. His hand sat comfortably just above your hips, with always his pinky finger straying a bit lower and tracing your upper thigh. When he let go he stayed close to you for a second, his eyes just slightly lower than where yours were. "Be safe, okay?' he asked with full sincerity. You nodded and let go just before getting into the elevator. "I will."

~~~~~~~

You rested your back against the elevator, back at the tower and up to your room after the long night. You checked your phone for a time. 2:24 am. Hopefully everyone else would be asleep when you got back.

The date wasn't bad. Not at all. In fact, it was one of the better ones you could remember going on. Dinner was nice and you went down to this jazz bar for some dancing. He walked you back to the tower and the two of you even shared a quick kiss.

So why did you feel so....weird? The circumstances were perfect for a second date. You like the guy, you really did. But something about him kept you from getting truly comfortable with him that night. The little things. The way he insisted to the waiter on splitting the bill, the way you had to stop every taxi for the two of you, the way he'd cut off your sentences. The way he couldn't stop looking at the scar poisoning your neck. That one really got you.

Maybe it was just your anxiety highlighting it, but it seemed every time his eyes would trail away from yours, they would land right on that scar. Like he was trying to subconsciously let you know it was there. As if you didn't have to take the work to try and cover it up every day of your life. That irked you most of all. You felt awful about it, it wasn't his fault it was there. But no matter how hard you tried, whenever you thought about going on a second date with him, you couldn't erase the look in his eyes out of your mind.

As you examined it in the mirror in the elevator, the doors slid open to an empty living room and kitchen floor. You wiped the tiredness off of your face and turned on a dim overhead lamp, setting your purse on the kitchen island to grab a quick water bottle. Your ears perked up when you heard some stirring from the couch area. Following the noise arose a head of shaggy brown hair. Your face softened and smile lifted when you saw his head turn around to find you. "Hi," you whispered just loud enough for him to hear. Bob replied with a sleepy "Hey," eyes still lowered.

"Whatcha doing out here, shouldn't you be in bed?" you asked, walking over to the couch. "Couldn't sleep...came out here to city watch and try to get sleepy." Your head turned to the massive windows overlooking the night city, still so alive. Bob let out a small yawn and reached his arm over to where you were standing. You took his hand, allowing him to guide you over to sit next to him on the couch. His position was slouched and comfortable, still half asleep. He rested his head into your shoulder, sending a little nervous shiver into you. "How was it?" he asked, eyes closing. You sighed. "Good." He chuckled under his breath. "What's that for?" you asked, pointing your eyes down to him. "Someone who went on a good date wouldn't just say it was 'good'," he slyly slurred out. Maybe this is why you never see Bob right after he wakes up. This Bob was kind of an asshole.

"What, can I not go on a date that's just 'good'?" you asked, getting slightly mad with him. "Someone as special as you shouldn't have to lower herself to going on dates that are just 'good'." The words trailed off in volume on the way out, almost like he didn't even know they came out in the first place. But you managed to catch them. And they sent butterflies down into your stomach, a pink glow to your cheeks, and a stupid grin to your mouth.

You looked down at him, resting on your shoulder. His body leaned perfectly into yours, filling all the empty space with his own. His delicate hands rested in his lap while his eyelashes tickled the upper parts of his cheek. And his hair, his beautiful hair, curled perfectly at the ends, grazing against the back of your neck with the air of The Watchtower. You could fall asleep with him here for days, in perfect, complete serenity.

"So why was it just 'good'?" he finally asked after what seemed like minutes of silence. You thought to yourself. "Cause I'm not gonna go on a second date." He lifted his head off of your shoulder and looked at him, with a slight concern on his droopy face. "Did something happen?" "No no no, I promise," you quickly shut down the idea. "It's just....." He sat more at attention, rubbing his eyes to try and wake up more. You both turned to look at each other, the sides of your faces resting on the couch cushions. "He was fine, great even....I just...." You tried to find the words to describe what you were feeling. "C'mon honey, talk to me," Bob slipped out, in a deep, sleepy voice that sent waves through you.

"I can't see him being able to deal with me," you finally spoke. "What makes you think that?" You sighed. You sat up a little bit and pulled your hair back behind your neck and lifted up your chin. "You saw this earlier right?" Bob gave a soft hum and a nod in response. "I got this a while back, back when I was still in the labs you saw in my nightmare." His eyes focused in on the scar, trying to make it out with the little light in the room. "I wanted to ask earlier, but I didn't wanna upset you," he spoke. "I know you don't like talking about it." You smiled a little at his ability to know you so well.

"Well, on one of the missions I was sent on back there, I got injured real bad. Broke my clavicle and they could only fix it through surgery. But I wouldn't necessarily call their doctors 'top of the line', so the cleanup was messy." You brushed your hair back onto the scar to cover it up. "One of the many souvenirs they gave me," you attempted to joke. Bob smiled a little bit at it, but was still focused on your skin. "Anyways, I don't like looking at it much, it's one of my uglier scars, and when other people catch it, I can't help but worry about what they're thinking."

"What d'you think he was thinking about?" Bob asked, slouching his head back into the couch to secretly admire you. You slouched back too. "About how much of a piece of work I'm gonna be," you chuckled out, even if the thought made you wanna cry. You could see that same sadness in Bob's eyes as they trailed up to your eyes. You sighed and looked away from him to the window outside. "This is why I don't date," you joked, wiping your face.

"Hey." You looked back at him. "Can I do something I'm gonna regret once I'm more awake?" You raised an eyebrow at the suspicious statement. "Okay." He sat a little closer to you, bringing up a hand to your hair, looking to you for approval. You gave him a soft hum as he pulled the hair behind your neck again, and softly traced his thumb over the scar, leaving goosebumps in its trail.

As gently as he could, he brought his face closer and pressed his lips softly onto your clavicle. Your breath hitched, causing him to bring his face back again. His eyes bore into yours, ready to give an apology if you requested. But your hand encouraged his actions, tangling into the back of his hair and pushing his lips back in.

Bob's lips danced over your scar, as your breath got heavier and hands tugged on his roots in approval. His hands found their way to your hips, caressing you in all the right spots. You fought to keep in any sounds your mouth wanted to let out from his touch. But right as you could feel yourself getting to the good part, Bob placed his final kiss, releasing you as well. You rested your head back as Bob stood up from the couch, lending a hand out to you. "It's late, we can talk more tomorrow, but you need your rest for now." Bob almost seemed to snap out of whatever lustful spell was just over him. Or maybe you took what just happened the wrong way. You tried to process it in your head as you took his hand and stood up with him.

Hand in hand, he led you to your room. As he opened the door and let you inside, he leaned over you on the door frame with one more message: "If a man looks at you and his first thought is of is how much work you'll be, he's no man at all."

~~~~~~~~

His words stuck in your heart for the next few days as the two of you tried to pretend that nothing happened. Drowsy Bob was right, Awake Bob apologized to you profusely the next morning, claiming he had no idea what came over him that night. "....I didn't mind it," you confessed after his apology. Made him blush faster than you thought was humanly possible. After a long, embarrassingly awkward conversation, the two of you decided on an agreement.

Whenever you were feeling bad about yourself, physically specifically, you could go to his room and he'd help you....feel better. You weren't fuck buddies, that was for sure. You just happened to be friends who'd kiss each other's bodies multiple times a week. And it made you absolutely insane.

You couldn't even go to Ava about this, since you and Bob agreed it was best if this was a secretive thing. Truth is, this whole ordeal was making you obsessed with the guy. You couldn't get him out of your head. Him being your roommate only made things worse. You couldn't escape from him. You'd never wanted someone this much before, it was driving you mad.

All the problems in relationships you felt before seemed to disappear with him. Since that night, you found yourself opening up more and more to him. You knew each chapter of each other's lives. And that made you really fucking happy. Having someone you could trust with yourself utterly, wholly, and completely.

The late nights where he'd do nothing but kiss and hold you, like he knew the magic of his touch. But you were greedy. You needed more of him, but all the uncertainty just got in the way.

You knew this wasn't just a thing "friends" did. But not knowing the exact details of how he felt for you kept you from asking for more. What if this was something friends did in his mind? What if the only thing he felt for you was based in lust? You'd rather not have that potentially friendship ruining conversation, so you decided to take the "suffer in silence" route instead.

That wasn't your biggest worry at the moment though. No, that spot in your mind was currently being overshadowed by the bullet wound in your side. You weren't gonna die, your powers would take care of that step for you, but it still hurt like a bullet wound. You'd spent a couple hours on the medbay floor of The Watchtower getting patched up, now on your way up to join the rest of the team.

The minute the elevator doors opened, you were greeted by a giant hug from Alexei, shouting Russian expressions of joy. As endearing as it was, you had to have the rest of the team peel him off of you, as he was two seconds away from opening up your stitches. Once you caught your breath, you greeted the rest of the team, all glad for your recovery. Your smile dropped a little, after scanning the members in the room. "Where's Bob?" you asked. "His therapist wanted to extend his session a little bit today," Bucky answered. You nodded a little to yourself. "You know when he'll be back?" you asked, trying not to sound too needy. "Soon enough," Yelena giggled.

....

"Does he know about..." you gestured to your bandages, slightly pink from any leftover blood. In almost miracle timing, Bob stepped out of the elevator and into your conversation. "Hey, what's-," he started, before looking at you clutching your side. His eyes widened with fear. "Oh my god what happened?!" he shouted, rushing over to you. "It's fine, I'm fine, I just didn't dodge very well today and someone caught me off guard." In combat, you usually tried to avoid the gunslingers and sword masters for hand-to-hand instead. You got more energy from absorbing bullet wounds and cuts, but on a pain scale, you'd rather deal with working up multiple punches to the nose.

As Bob questioned your pain scale, it almost seemed as if the other teammates were slowly leaving the room one by one, until only you two were left in it. The two of you naturally made your way to the couch and talked about your days for what seemed like hours. You went over battle strategies, he debriefed about his appointment. Eventually, noticing the sun going down, you started to become aware of all the dirt and blood still sticking to your body. "Um, can I use your tub? I need to get the day off me before I start peeling my skin off," you joked, standing up off of the couch. "Sure, whatever you need," he insisted, getting up with you. The only teammates with bathtubs instead of showers in their rooms were Bob and Bucky, and in all honesty, you just wanted to be near Bob's presence right now.

The mixture of dried blood, sweat, and dirt stuck your suit straight onto your skin as you made a painful attempt to peel it off. You dropped the clothes to the floor, and examined the damage in your mirror, unraveling all your littered bandages. Your stitches seemed to be doing okay, but the rest of the little cuts and bruises on you made themselves apparent. Your powers were useful in the moment, but damn did the aftercare suck.

Wrapping a towel around yourself, you walked over to Bob's room, leaving a soft knock on the door. A freshly bathed Bob opened up the door, now in his own baggy pajamas, his curls still wet and dripping. "I just wanted a to take a quick soak before you got in, I got a new round of hot water running for you." You gave him a little smile and stepped inside; he closed the door behind you. "Thanks." You walked into the steaming bathroom, tub filled to the brim with hot water like he said. Bob's bathroom was a cozy, dimly lit room that smelled just like him; eucalyptus and peppermint oil, incense cones, and a touch of his cologne. It calmed you down almost immediately, and enough for you to ask your question.

"Can you...uh...help me while I'm in there?" you nervously asked. He raised his eyebrow a little bit at the question. "I-It just hurts to turn a little and I need to reach some spots on my back." He looked you over while he deliberated. "I don't wanna sound rude or anything but...you sure you're okay with me....seeing you?" he whispered that last little part. "I'm wearing a bathing suit under here, I don't mind you seeing that at least," you replied, anticipating his concern. "Oh....okay, yeah sure," he replied, scratching the back of his head.

You dropped your towel and placed it hanging over the sink. The black bikini you were wearing covered enough of you, but still allowed all your injuries to be visible. That first step into the tub was heavenly, the heat rolling down off your spine with a slight, but welcome tinge of pain. You closed your eyes and melted down into the water, Bob smiling at your relaxation. "God, I needed this," you breathed out. Bob walked up closer to you, sitting on the edge of the tub.

You sat there for a minute, body absorbing the heat and releasing the built up tension in your muscles from the day. Once you finally opened your eyes, you found Bob's eyes grazing over your body. "What is it?" you asked. A stupid grin found its way to his face, as he readjusted himself to begin helping you. "Nothing, don't worry."

Bob took a nearby loofa and his body wash, about to squeeze some onto it before you put your hand out. "This is gonna sound weird....can you use your hands?" You didn't bother giving an explanation, it wouldn't change the implications of that request. Bob gave a little nod. "Wait just, give me a sec." He quickly got up out of the room, closing the door behind him. You sat there within your own thoughts. Fuck, was that too much? you thought to yourself, praying you didn't scare him off.

After a few anxious minutes, Bob opened up the door, leaving you with a sight that made your heart stop.

He had traded in his pajamas for a pair of swim shorts. You had to fight to keep your jaw from going slack at the sight of him without a shirt on. He wasn't kidding, that serum really did do a lot of work.

First of all, you had seen his arm muscles before, frequently on display whenever he would wear a short sleeve shirt. But paired with his perfectly plumped chest, carved abs, and toned thighs, it was enough to kill a horse. Worst of all however, was his swim boxers, with a very flawed detail: they were about two sizes too small, and you couldn't tell if Bob was aware or not, but you could see it. It was bigger than you thought. You would need a tranquilizer to hide the blush on your face right now.

"I figured it'd be easier to just get in and help, and this is my only pair of trunks.....is it too much?" So he didn't know, huh. You swallowed back any urges you had and sat up a little bit more in the tub. "No, you're fine," you said, pushing your body back to make room for him in the small tub. He shuffled up and gently placed his legs in one by one, sinking in in front of you.

Bob took the body wash again, pouring some and lathering it between his hands. He motioned you to turn around so he could get your back area. Your back showed him about five scattered cuts and scratches and two large bruises by your lats. You could hear his breath shake a bit as he got closer to you. Naturally, you straightened out your back for him to work with a better canvas.

A sigh instinctively came out of your mouth when his hands came down on you, lathering the soap over your skin. His hands worked into you like putty, spreading the bubbles out evenly onto you. The callouses scratched onto your skin, and you felt a deep heat brewing into your chest. It only grew stronger when his fingers started digging into your muscles. Pain oozed out and away as his thumbs worked out the knots in your upper back. You had to bring a hand up to your mouth to keep a pleasurably moan from slipping out.

The deeper his fingers got into you, the more your body began to twitch, itching for more. The water sloshed around a little when you began to move back into him. And thats when you felt it. Your breath hitched when you caught it. He was achingly big, and you could tell by the throbbing you felt on your lower back. He must've noticed you felt it, since his fingers stopped moving. The two of you sat there for a minute in a hot tension.

Eventually, he picked up a cup sitting outside of the tub, filled it with the bathwater, and poured the soap off of your back. Putting it down, he inched slightly closer to you, his hands finding their way again back to your hips like so many times before. "Tell me where it hurts," he whispered into your ear. You tried to shake out your shivers and be honest with him, your mind needing him in one place but your body wanting him everywhere.

You took the safe route. You needed to keep control of yourself. As long as you could at least.

You pointed to a spot along your spine where one of the bruises lay. "Bend forward a little bit," he spoke, in that low, sultry voice again, almost commanding you. You listened. You moved. But unfortunately, you couldn't keep the moan inside you anymore when his lips grazed and kissed over the bruise. You could keep it quiet enough for him to, hopefully, not hear it however.

Your body adjusted and moved to fit him as his lips trailed up your spine, and eventually to the nape of your neck. He sucked on the tender skin, desperation in its trail. Before he could get too carried away though, he pulled himself off of you. His hot breath stuck to your back, as he took a moment to splash some of the steaming water onto his face. After clearing his throat, he asked you to turn back around and face him, which you did of course.

Finding his face, you could finally see the display of his emotions. The main one: a drunken look in his eyes to desperately hide a growing lust. You could tell. It was the same look in yours. Trying to continue with the bath, Bob took some more body was and drizzled it out onto your arms and upper chest. Sure, you could reach those parts of yourself fine, but what's wrong with letting a man take care of you every once in a while. And if this was how he was gonna do it, you'd be glad to give in.

He massaged the soap into your skin again, relaxing your tense arm muscles, a little gentler around your chest and collarbone area. He pressed a deep kiss into your clavicle scar, a tick for him at this point. His eyes stayed down on you, examining the way your skin fit onto your body. You brought your hand to meet his, currently pressing gentle circles onto your tricep. His eyes found a nice spot, staring at your lips, with you back at his. Trembles started to infect his hands and you could even see a slight quiver stain his lip.

"Does it hurt...anywhere here?" he gasped out. Taking the opportunity, you slowly brought your finger up to the tiniest cut you had on your chin. Smiling, he went in, almost taking your entire chin into his mouth. Your hands wrapped around his neck as his mouth moved to press sloppy kisses into your jawline. But that's all where he stayed. And you needed more than that.

Enough with the teasing, you let go of his neck and took his face in your hands, pulling his mouth away from you. He looked at you, beautiful, deep blue puppy eyes mixed with questioning and fear. "Do you remember what I told you Bob? When I was helping you get ready for the conference?" The fear left his eyes, as he realized what you were playing with here. "Remind me...." You smirked at his words. "When are you ever gonna stop being afraid of me?" you asked, eyes glued to his lips. He dropped his head and let out a defeated laugh. "It's never been you that I'm scared of....it's always been myself," he said, lifting his head back up and closer to yours. "And why's that?" The corner of his mouth lifted up as his hand went to cup your jaw, caressing it with his thumb. "Because I have to keep myself from tearing off my clothes and taking you in the living room each time you walk through that elevator."

Before you could respond to what he said, your body started moving on its own, slamming your lips into his, sloshing water everywhere. The kiss you shared was needy, hungry, and slow. Different from the ones he left littered over your body in the past. What surprised you the most about it was what fueled it. This was not a lustful kiss, which is what you had expected from him. This kiss was filled with a pure, tender, and firing love the two of you have silently shared for each other for the past few months.

His hands wrapped around your waist, hugging you closer into him and onto his laugh, where his raging erection made itself more apparent by the second. "You need me that bad, huh?" you teased, breaking away from the makeout and grinding your clothed cunt against it. Bob nodded profusely, leaning back into you to chase your lips, which you pulled back from. You bit your lip and smiled, wooed by his desperation for you. "Someone's excited, huh?" you joked. "Well, I'd rather not get waterlogged here, so how about we dry off, get these swimsuits off, and...." you leaned close to his ear. "...you can take me on your bed any way you want, how's that sound loverboy?" you bit down onto his earlobe

Bob let out a whispered moan and dropped his head into your shoulder, pressing soft kissed into it. "Yes, please," he replied. Before getting up though, he pulled you into a close hug, which you returned gladly. Bob may have a secret, shameful side you didn't know about, but at the end of the day, you couldn't take the lover out of him.

The two of you stepped out of the bathtub, drained the water, and took your towels to dry yourselves off. Once you were dried, you opened the bathroom door, releasing the steamy air into the rest of Bob room. The cold tinged both your skin, as you walked hand in hand to his bed. You were first to undress, slipping off your bikini bottoms and untying your top off. Bob could've sworn his life flashed before his eyes at that moment, as he admired your beautiful body. He quickly kicked off his trunks, allowing his cock to finally spring out to life. He playfully ran up and tackled you onto his bed, kissing into you neck as you let out playful giggles.

His mouth eventually found its way up to yours, as the two of you slipped each other's tongues into your mouths. His hands gently swept you underneath him on the bed, still careful with your injury. "I-fuck, I wanna taste you," he gasped out while you sucked marks onto his neck. "Do it," you whispered into his neck, giving it a little nibble.

He giggled to himself, as his mouth traced kissed down your neck, sternum, and stomach, all the way down to your hips. You lifted your head to look down at him. He smiled up at you as his hands grabbed into your thighs, bending your legs up. His thumb grazed along your leaking folds, already sending shivers into you. "You're so....beautiful," you could hear him whisper just before leaving his first of many soft kisses on your slit. His tongue slowly worked itself over your clit, as one of your hands found its way down into the roots of his hair.

For leverage, you pulled slight tugs onto his hair, which drove Bob bananas. Each pull only drove him further into your pussy, absorbing his own whines and moans. His tongue worked over each of your lips, memorizing the way it made his taste buds react. You tasted so good, he could sit here eating you for hours. Looking down at the sight underneath you only pushed you closer to the edge. His messy, slightly damp curls intertwined with your fingers, as he sloppily ate your pussy, juice dripping down the sides of his mouth. Game changer moment was when he brought in his digits, curling his pointer and middle finger into your swollen cunt.

An exaggerated moan of his name left your mouth, as your hips buckled into his hand, begging for more. "C'mon, you're doing so good for me baby, keep it up," he spoke into your inner thigh, leaving a little love bite in there that left you biting your tongue. As his fingers worked inside you, you wriggled over the sheets, trying to chase an oncoming high. "You're so perfect sweetheart, so perfect for me," he continuously praised.

The twitch in your lower stomach grew more powerful with the seconds, as fingers continued to hit your walls perfect, his teeth grazed your clit, and hot breath washed over you. "Bob, I-I," you started to moan out. "Do it for me baby, come for me here."

As the high washed over your body, a final moan rushed out, paired with another hip buckle and legs a twitching mess as Bob kissed into your pussy. Your juice coated all over his fingers, which added more growth to his member, if that was even possible right now. His fingers slid perfectly out of your aching pussy and into his own mouth, as he got a better taste for you. A smile curled its way onto his mouth as he sat back on his knees, watching you come down from your high.

Bob couldn't help but crawl back up to you. He had to watch this moment with his own eyes. Your heavy breaths hit his face as he leaned on his elbows to perfectly lay over him. Your cheeks glowed a heavy pink as you came down from your orgasm. "Was that good?" he asks. You couldn't help but let out at laugh at the question. Good? Did he see what happened just now? "You're adorable," you validated, love-drunk eyes gazing into his own.

He let a breath out of his nose, and dropped his whole body weight down onto you. You cried out in a fake pain and your body absorbed his heat into you. "Get off, you're killing me!" you joked. He shook his head vigorously. "No, you gotta do it yourself," he played back. You giggled and used whatever strength you had left over to try and push him off. To no avail of course. "Alright, you gotta help just a little, you're pure muscle sweetie." Bob sighed and lifted his body off of you just enough for you to roll him to the other side of the bed.

Before he could move again, you jumped on top of him, placing your own dead weight on top of him now. "You see, I'd play along now, but I'm scared I'd toss you off the bed," he said. True, best not to play games like this with someone who has super strength. "Ugh, no fair," you complained, dropping your head into his neck. You heard his awkwardly adorable laugh, making your heart soar, as he scratched the back of your head.

"C'mere, let me see you," he asked gently. You lifted your head up, a fake frown plastered on your face. The act didn't last long though when you saw his face.

The way he looked at you right now was the way girls had dreamed about since they were kids. His eyes softened with pure adoration for you, with his mouth curled into the dumbest grin. He spoke your name in a question. "Yeah?" He brought his hand up to cup your jaw, which you nuzzled your cheek into as his thumb traced over your lips. "I....I think..." he trailed off. "What is it?" His smile turned slightly more serious. "I think I love you." He paused. "I know I do."

If it weren't for his body heat grounding you into the moment, you would've sworn you were dreaming right now. Everything you've ever wanted was right here. It was all in him. It was him.

"I know I love you too."

The giddy look on his face could set you free, as both his hands grabbed your cheeks to pull you into his kiss stained lips. The two of you continued to kiss and roll all over the bed, as you prepared to continue the rest of your love filled night.

~~~~~~

Sun rays streamed through the breaks in the blinds of Bob's room. Your eyes attempted to adjust to the brightness as you awoke. Wrapped up in his sheets, blooming with his scent, you began to remember the dreamlike events of the night before. You turned to the other side of the bed, and there he was.

Like a painting, Bob laid next to you, still off in his hopefully pleasant dreams. Loose strand of hair fell in front of his sleeping face, his mouth slightly agape to breathe, still swollen lips. In fact, all of your souvenirs from the night before laid over him: scattered hickeys along his neck and shoulders, and nail scratches peeking over from his upper back. It was perfect. He was perfect.

His breath readjusted as he began to stir a bit, and finally, his lashes fluttered open to see you. A childlike smile painted your face as you saw his sleepy eyes adjust to you. "Good morning sleepyhead," you pressed into the tip of his nose as you kissed it. He smiled an eyes closed one to you. "Morning honey." You had found out last night how much of a pet-name user Bob was. You didn't mind at all. It only helped seal the "it feels like i'm in a movie" idea for you. "How'd you sleep," he asked with his eyes still closed. "Good, great even," you hummed. "And you?" His eyes opened and he leaned in closer to you to kiss you silly. "Best in years, honest truth."

After some morning talk, Bob got up to go to the kitchen, leaving you with some extra minutes for sleep. When he returned, it was with a plate of breakfast on a tray just for the two of you. It took a miracle for you not to jump over the bed and onto him then and there. The plate for you included all your favorites: blueberry Eggos, orange slices, and eggs. These weren't your usual eggs though. "I know you like them burnt, but by the time I remembered, I had taken them out of the pan and these were the last two," he apologized.

You inspected the eggs with your fork. It scared you a little, but you'd rather risk a stomach ache than hurt Bob's feelings right now. And plus, it was time to finally grow up. Taking them onto your fork, you took a deep breath, and put them in your mouth.

Chew, chew, chew. Swallow.

God, these were so much better than rubbery, burnt eggs. "These are so fucking good Bob, oh my god," you salivated. He smiled that dumb grin and climbed into bed next to you, as the two of you continued the rest of your morning together. It was nice to know you didn't have to burn your eggs anymore. The other side was better than you could've imagined.

a.n: AND THATS IT i hope you liked it lol. this is by FARRRRR the longest fic i've ever written and it took like a week and a half to write rip so i hope you all enjoyed it. please leave a note or interact if you did, i'd really appreciate it. alright thank you so much again, catch you on the next one BYEEEEEE

[cressidagrey]

The McLaren Matchmaking Disaster

Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Sabrina Clarke (Original Character)

Summary:

Sabrina Clarke is sure Oscar Piastri hates her—he either ignores her, runs away, or responds like a malfunctioning robot.. In reality, Oscar has a massive crush… and is the most socially inept man on the planet. Enter Lando Norris, self-proclaimed matchmaking genius, and suddenly, all of McLaren is watching their disaster of a love story unfold. 

Warnings and Notes: 

Happy Race Weekend! To celebrate, here are 10k of socially awkward Oscar 😂 Warnings: Other than Oscar being an idiot and not being very nice...not really? Unless you count Lando being a menace.

(Also it's Lando (Car) because Ken's job is Beach. Get it? 😂)

As always big thanks to @llirawolf , who listens to me ramble

Running Tally of Oscar’s Most Awkward Moments Around Sabrina

(Maintained by McLaren Staff, because they are way too invested)

Sabrina: “Morning, Oscar!”Oscar: blinks three times, nods, walks into a doorframe. 

Sabrina sneezed. Oscar panicked and said “Congratulations.”

Sabrina asked if he wanted a snack from the media lounge. Oscar responded with “Thank you, you too.”

Sabrina tripped on a cable. Oscar, trying to help, tripped over the SAME CABLE. They both ended up on the floor.

Sabrina was filming content and asked, “Oscar, do you have a fun fact for the fans?” Oscar: “No.” (And then just walked away.)

Sabrina put a hand on his arm while laughing. Oscar’s brain fully rebooted. Lando had to snap in front of his face to get him to respond.

She handed him a water bottle during a shoot. Instead of taking it, he just… held out his hand next to it like a Sims character waiting for an animation to load.

Sabrina: “Hey, Oscar, can I ask you something?” Oscar: “No.” (Then realized what he said and immediately walked away.)

He got caught staring at her during lunch. When she asked what was up, he picked up a random spoon and said “This is nice.”

Sabrina: “How are you feeling today?” Oscar: “Yes.”

Sabrina: “Do you need anything before the press conference?” Oscar: “Uh… oxygen?”

Lando asked Sabrina to pass Oscar a clipboard. Oscar fumbled it so badly it ricocheted off the table and hit him in the stomach.

Sabrina: “Hey, Oscar, do you have a charger?” Oscar: “I have… no.” (He had one in his hand.)

She asked what he was listening to in his headphones. Oscar blurted out “the national anthem” for no reason.

Sabrina: “Oh, Oscar, you have something on your face.” Oscar, instead of asking where, just froze and stared at her like a deer in headlights until Lando wiped it off for him.

She walked into the room while he was drinking a smoothie. He immediately forgot how to use the straw and inhaled half of it into his lungs.

Oscar was tying his shoes when Sabrina walked by and said, “Hey, Piastri!” Oscar just… stayed crouched on the ground like a gargoyle until she left.

Sabrina: “You look tired, did you sleep well?” Oscar: “No thanks.”

Sabrina: “Oh, I love that hat on you!” Oscar: “You too.” (She wasn’t wearing a hat.)

She waved at him during the drivers’ parade. Oscar waved back but was so distracted he almost fell off the float.

During a McLaren team lunch, she asked, “Oscar, do you want ketchup?” Oscar: “I don’t know.” (?????)

He saw her struggling to carry some equipment and instead of offering to help, he just stood there stress-blinking until Lando stepped in.

Sabrina asked, “How’s your day going?” Oscar: “It’s Tuesday.” (It was Sunday.)

He walked into a doorframe because Sabrina smiled at him.

Sabrina: “Good luck out there!” Oscar, despite knowing how to form sentences, somehow responded with, “Yeah, you too!” (She was not driving.)

During a chaotic debrief, she passed him a pen. He took it, then immediately handed it back to her without using it.

Sabrina complimented his driving. Oscar panicked and said, “Thanks, I try to be fast.” (Oscar. You drive F1. That is the point.)

They accidentally reached for the same energy drink. Oscar let go immediately, then left to get a different one from the other side of the garage, as if the fridge had personally betrayed him.

He tried to be polite and open a door for her. Somehow ended up standing directly in the doorway instead, effectively blocking her path.

Sabrina: “Are you busy later?” Oscar: “Yes.” Sabrina: “Oh, with what?” Oscar: “I don’t know.” (SIR.)

Oscar tried to make a joke during a group conversation with Sabrina. He messed up the punchline, got flustered, and then said, “Never mind,” and fully walked away.

Sabrina: “That was a great race!” Oscar: “Thank you, you too.” (AGAIN, SHE WAS NOT RACING.)

He was standing near the coffee machine when Sabrina approached. Oscar: “Oh, do you want coffee?” Sabrina: “Yeah!” Oscar, despite standing closest to the machine: “Okay, cool,” and then just walked away without making her one.

***

Oh. 

Oh no. 

Oscar would rather face a wet track on slicks than a conversation with Sabrina Clarke. Unfortunately, she was walking straight toward him, all sunshine and good intentions, and he was fresh out of exit strategies.

Oscar should have seen it coming.

He should have known the exact moment he stepped out of the McLaren motorhome that fate would betray him.

Because there, standing directly in his path, was her.

Sabrina, the McLaren Social Media Admin with the sunshine personality and way too much energy at ungodly hours of the morning. Sabrina, who always had a camera in his face and a teasing smile. Sabrina, who made his brain short-circuit every time she so much as said his name.

Sabrina, with sparkling blue eyes and blonde hair and a smile that made him forget everything. 

Sabrina, who Oscar was utterly, hopelessly, embarrassingly into.

Which was a problem, because every time she tried to talk to him, he went completely blank. Like an idiot.

He could already feel his brain preparing to betray him. Sabrina Clarke was too nice, too bright, too pretty, too much—and he was about to be too awkward, again.

Sabrina Clarke had the kind of energy that made people gravitate toward her. Oscar, meanwhile, was actively considering throwing himself into a bush, so he didn’t need to talk to her. 

He didn’t even have time to process it before—

"Oh! Hey, Oscar!"

—brain malfunction.

His heart did something weird. His palms went sweaty. His ability to form words? Gone. Completely erased.

Sabrina was smiling at him, completely oblivious to the fact that he was internally combusting.

Say something, say something, SAY SOMETHING—

"Move."

Sabrina blinked. "What?"

Oscar wanted to die.

"Uh—" he cleared his throat, staring anywhere but at her. "You’re. In the way."

(She wasn’t. Not even a little bit.)

Sabrina’s face immediately dropped. "Oh—sorry?" she said, stepping aside quickly.

Oscar didn’t even acknowledge it. He just walked past her. Like a complete asshole.

It took every ounce of self-control not to physically sprint away.

Behind him, he could hear her mutter, "Okay, what did I even do?" under her breath.

He hated himself.

And then—

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

Lando’s voice boomed from behind him, but Oscar refused to stop walking.

Lando, however, had zero intention of letting him get away.

"OI, PIASTRI, GET BACK HERE!"

Oscar sped up.

Lando broke into a jog.

"Why are you like this?!" Lando shouted as he fully started chasing him.

Oscar turned a corner—bad idea. It was a dead end.

Lando caught up in seconds, skidding to a stop, hands on his hips, staring at him like he was some kind of scientific anomaly.

"Dude. WHAT. WAS. THAT."

Oscar, still pretending he had any dignity left, shrugged. "Nothing."

Lando threw his hands in the air. "NOTHING?! You literally just behaved like the biggest arsehole this side of the Atlantic!"

"Lando, leave it."

Lando did not leave it.

Instead, he physically grabbed Oscar by the shoulders. "Okay, I let the last seven incidents slide, but THIS? Mate, you just bulldozed past her like she wasn’t a human being."

"I panicked."

Lando threw his hands up. "Oscar. Mate. Why are you like this?"

Oscar checked his imaginary watch. "Oh wow, look at the time. Gotta go."

Lando stepped in front of him. "Oh no, you don’t. You’re going to explain why every time Sabrina so much as looks at you, you lose all brain function."

Oscar pressed his lips into a thin line.

Lando’s eyes widened. "Wait—OH MY GOD."

Oscar knew exactly when realization hit.

Lando’s face lit up with the force of a thousand light bulbs.

"You LIKE her."

Oscar immediately attempted to escape.

Lando tackled him.

Well—not tackled, but he grabbed Oscar’s arm in a death grip.

"You actually like her. This is golden," Lando cackled, shaking him slightly. "You absolute idiot. Oh, I have to fix this."

"No."

"Yes."

"Lando, I swear—"

"Don’t care, already decided. Operation Get Sabrina and Oscar Together is a go."

Oscar groaned, tilting his head back against the wall. "I hate everything."

Lando clapped a hand on his shoulder. "No, you love Sabrina. And I’m making sure she knows it."

He closed his eyes. Oscar knew—deep in his soul—this was only the beginning of his suffering.

***

Sabrina stormed into the media office, tossing her iPad onto the desk with a dramatic sigh. She spun around in her chair, hands flung into the air.

"He hates me. He HATES me."

Her colleague and friend, Gabby, barely looked up from her laptop. "Who hates you?"

Sabrina let out an exasperated laugh. "Oscar! Piastri! Did you not just see what happened out there?"

Gabby frowned, finally paying attention. "Uh, no? What did he do?"

Sabrina turned in her chair so fast it nearly tipped over. "I was literally just walking to the garage—MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS—and he comes out of nowhere, and tells me to move. Because I am in his way. He makes direct eye contact, glares at me like I personally offended his ancestors, and then just—walks away. No words. Just pure, unfiltered hostility in his eyes."

Gabby blinked. "That’s… weird."

"RIGHT?" Sabrina threw up her hands again. "At this point, I feel like I must've wronged him in some past life. Like, maybe I cut him off in traffic when we were both pigeons or something, because there is no other explanation!"

Gabby let out a short laugh. "I don’t think that’s how reincarnation works."

"Well, something happened, because I have never seen someone so fundamentally allergic to my existence!" Sabrina groaned, dropping her head onto the desk.

"Maybe he’s just awkward?" Gabby suggested.

Sabrina lifted her head, narrowing her eyes. "No. No, he is actively avoiding me. Like I carry some kind of Oscar-specific plague. And today? Today was a new level! He looked pissed off! What did I do?!"

Gabby considered it for a moment before shrugging. "I mean, if he really hated you, he’d probably just be indifferent. Maybe he’s just bad at talking to people he doesn’t know well?"

Sabrina gave him a flat look. "We have worked in the same paddock for over a year. If he wanted to know me, he could just, oh, I don’t know—say words instead of burning a hole through my soul with his death glare!"

Gabby held up her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, you have a point."

Sabrina groaned again, leaning back in her chair and covering her face with her hands. "God, I swear if I find out I somehow insulted his entire bloodline without realizing it, I’m quitting."

Gabby smirked. "No, you’re not."

"Okay, but I’ll think about it dramatically," Sabrina muttered.

Gabby patted her shoulder. "I believe in you."

Sabrina sighed. "Well, someone has to."

***

Lucy (Engineer): Okay, someone PLEASE explain what just happened with Oscar and Sabrina in the paddock??

Jordan (Marketing): Oh my god, yes. I saw that. What was that???

Matt (Mechanic): He just… bulldozed past her like she was invisible.

Adam (Hospitality): No no, he looked directly at her, said ‘Move’ and WALKED AWAY.

Lucy (Engineer): ???????????????

Adam (Hospitality): I was standing right there. Sabrina just went “What did I even do?” and looked genuinely hurt.

Gabby (Social Media):  She thinks he hates her.

Jordan (Marketing): I mean… fair assumption.

Gabby (Social Media): Is Oscar beefing with our own social media team? Did we post something offensive about him?

Emily (PR): I NEED TO KNOW BECAUSE IF HE IS, THAT IS A NIGHTMARE WAITING TO HAPPEN.

Lando (Car): GUYS

Lando (Car): YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST DISCOVERED

Jordan (Marketing): Lando, if you’re about to say Oscar hates Sabrina, we already know.

Lando (Car): NO. THAT’S NOT IT. HE LIKES HER.

Matt (Mechanic): Sorry.

Matt (Mechanic): HE WHAT?

Emily (PR): Be so serious right now.

Lando (Car): DEAD SERIOUS. He has a stupid crush on her, and every time she talks to him, he just completely SHORT CIRCUITS.

Emily (PR): So what you’re saying is—he wasn’t just being an asshole for no reason today.

Lando (Car): CORRECT. HE WAS AN ASSHOLE BECAUSE HE IS A SOCIAL DISASTER WITH A CRUSH.

Matt (Mechanic): Wow. That is somehow worse.

Jordan (Marketing): So all those weird, awkward interactions we’ve been tallying up for the last month…

Matt (Mechanic): WERE BECAUSE HE LIKES HER???

Lando (Car): YES. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO FIGURE IT OUT.

Gabby (Social Media): Okay but. Someone has to tell Sabrina this because I think she genuinely believes she has committed a crime against him in a past life.

Jordan (Marketing): Lando. Do something.

Lando (Car): Oh don’t worry. I’m already matchmaking.

***

Oscar Piastri had a massive crush on Sabrina.

Unfortunately, Oscar also had the social skills of a malfunctioning toaster when it came to talking to her. The guy could navigate an F1 car at 200 mph with the precision of a machine, but the second Sabrina so much as looked at him? Catastrophe.

Which was exactly why Lando—being the helpful, selfless friend that he was—decided it was time to intervene.

Sabrina was standing by the McLaren garage, chatting with one of the engineers, her laugh carrying over the hum of activity. Oscar was approaching from the other side, completely oblivious to her presence.

Lando saw an opportunity.

"Oscar, mate," he said, slapping a hand on his shoulder. "Come with me real quick."

Oscar barely had time to react before Lando was steering him directly toward Sabrina.

Oscar immediately stiffened. "Why are we going this way?"

"Because," Lando grinned, "you need to learn how to talk to her like a normal human being."

Oscar immediately started looking for an escape route. "Nope. No. Absolutely not."

But it was too late. They were already there.

"Sabrina!" Lando greeted cheerfully. "Oscar has something to say to you."

Sabrina turned, surprised. "Oh? What’s up, Oscar?"

Oscar’s brain blue-screened.

He stared at her.

Sabrina, smiling, waited for him to speak.

Oscar did not speak.

Lando nudged him, eyebrows raised. Dude, say something.

Oscar’s brain panicked. "I—uh—" He swallowed. "—nothing. It's fine."

Sabrina’s smile faltered. "Oh… okay?"

Lando blinked. "That’s not what you were gonna say, mate."

Oscar refused to make eye contact. "Nope, I’m good. I should—uh—go."

Sabrina’s confusion deepened. "Did I do something?"

Oscar whipped around, eyes wide. "What? No! No, you’re fine. It’s just—uh—" He struggled. "It’s me."

Sabrina hesitated, her expression unreadable. "Right."

Lando watched in horrified fascination as Oscar, now fully committed to fleeing, muttered a quick, "Okay, bye," and walked away.

Just like that.

Sabrina blinked after him. "Did… did he just leave?"

Lando dragged a hand down his face. "Oh my God."

Sabrina turned to him, exhaling sharply. "Lando. Be honest."

"Mm-hmm?"

"Does Oscar hate me?"

Lando choked. "What? No! No, he—" He stopped himself, then groaned, dragging a hand through his hair. "Oh, this is so much worse than I thought."

Sabrina frowned. "I don’t understand. Every time I talk to him, he either ignores me, barely acknowledges me, or runs away."

Lando shook his head. "He doesn’t hate you."

Sabrina crossed her arms. "Then what’s his problem?"

Lando hesitated. Then, exasperated, he muttered, "He has a massive crush on you."

Sabrina laughed out loud. "No, he doesn’t."

Lando threw his hands up. "Sabrina, think about it. He’s fine with literally everyone else, but the second you show up? He turns into an awkward disaster and flees."

Sabrina gave him a deeply skeptical look. "That means he likes me?"

Lando nodded. "He is so down bad, it's pathetic."

Sabrina shook her head. "Or, he just hates me and doesn’t know how to tell me."

Lando groaned. "This is a nightmare."

Sabrina sighed. "Look, Lando, I appreciate the optimism, but from where I’m standing? Oscar Piastri despises me."

Lando desperately needed to fix this.

Instead, he pulled out his phone and opened the McLaren group chat.

***

Lando (Car): I have failed. Sabrina 100% thinks Oscar hates her. This is worse than I imagined.

Gabby (Social Media):  How did you fail?

Lando (Car): I TRIED TO HELP. I walked Oscar right up to her. I gave him the perfect opportunity.

Jordan (Marketing): And??

Lando (Car):  And he stared at her like a deer in headlights, muttered some nonsense, then WALKED AWAY.

Emily (PR): …Like just walked away?

Lando (Car): Just turned and LEFT. Like a weirdo.

Gabby (Social Media):  Oh my god.

Emily (PR): Does he think she’s Medusa or something? Why does he keep acting like she’s about to strike him down?

Matt (Mechanic): At this point, I’d believe it.

Lando (Car):  AND THEN Sabrina ASKED ME IF OSCAR HATES HER.

Lucy (Engineer): Oh no.

Jordan (Marketing): HE WHAT???

Lando (Car): I TRIED to explain but SHE DOESN’T BELIEVE ME.

Jordan (Marketing): I mean… can we blame her??

Lando (Car): GUYS. HE DOESN’T HATE HER. HE LIKES HER. HE LIKES HER SO MUCH IT HURTS TO WATCH.

Matt (Mechanic):  I need receipts. How do you know?

Lando (Car): HAVE YOU SEEN HIM AROUND HER? HE CAN’T FUNCTION.

Jordan (Marketing): I thought maybe he was just awkward in general, but no. He is specifically incapable of speaking to Sabrina.

Emily (PR): This is so embarrassing for him.

Lando (Car): RIGHT?

Gabby (Social Media):  So what do we do?

Lando (Car): FIX IT. We need to get them in a situation where Oscar CAN’T ESCAPE.

Lucy (Engineer): Like what? Lock them in a room?

Lando (Car):  …Not a bad idea.

Lucy (Engineer): HR would not approve.

Lando (Car): Ugh, fine. But we need a Plan B. I REFUSE to let Oscar fumble this forever.

Emily (PR): I’m just fascinated by the fact that Oscar Piastri—who is literally one of the most composed drivers on the grid—completely crumbles in front of Sabrina.

Jordan (Marketing): I KNOW RIGHT.

Matt (Mechanic):  Someone needs to record this for science.

Lando (Car): You guys don’t understand. He’s DOOMED. And she genuinely thinks he LOATHES her.

Lucy (Engineer): This is actually tragic.

Lando (Car): I AM TAKING MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS.

Lucy (Engineer): Oh no.

Gabby (Social Media):  This will end in flames.

Jordan (Marketing): Can’t wait.

Lando (Car): Watch and learn, people. 🚨

***

Sabrina slumped into her chair, rubbing her temples like she was nursing the world's worst headache. Across from her, Gabby leaned against the desk, arms crossed, waiting for an explanation.

“So, let me get this straight,” Gabby said slowly. “Lando Norris—who is the human embodiment of chaos—just waltzed up to you and said Oscar Piastri has a crush on you?”

Sabrina groaned, dragging her hands down her face. “Yes.”

Gabby blinked. “Oscar Piastri.”

“Yes.”

“The same Oscar Piastri who, just today, physically recoiled when you asked if he needed anything?”

Sabrina let out a hysterical laugh. “YES.”

Gabby whistled. “Wow. You’re right. He definitely has a crush on you.”

Sabrina shot her a glare. “Be serious.”

“I am serious.”

Sabrina threw her hands in the air. “How does that make any sense?! He doesn’t even look at me for more than two seconds. Every time I speak to him, he either ignores me, stares like I’ve just grown a second head, or runs away like I’m carrying the plague.”

Gabby hummed. “Yeah, that does sound like a man with a debilitating crush.”

Sabrina let out another groan and dropped her head onto her desk. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I believed Lando for even a second.”

“Did he at least have evidence?”

“His exact words were: ‘He doesn’t hate you, Sabrina. He likes you. He likes you so much he’s malfunctioning.’”

Gabby snorted. “That sounds like Lando.”

“Right?” Sabrina threw up her hands. “And when I told him Oscar’s actively avoiding me, he just went, ‘No, no, that’s just because he’s awkward and nervous.’ As if that’s supposed to be reassuring!”

Gabby tapped a finger against her chin. “I mean. That does check out.”

Sabrina gaped at her. “You’re insane.”

Gabby just shrugged. “I’m just saying—if I were you, I’d consider the possibility.”

Sabrina groaned dramatically. “Or, hear me out—he just hates me.”

Gabby gave her an exasperated look. “Sabrina, no one has ever hated anyone the way Oscar Piastri allegedly hates you.”

“Exactly!”

“No, I mean, if he did actually hate you, he’d be way more normal about it.”

Sabrina blinked. “What?”

Gabby smirked. “If he truly disliked you, he’d be able to talk to you just fine. People don’t act weird around people they don’t like. They act weird around people who make them nervous.”

Sabrina opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. “...No.”

Gabby just grinned. “Yes.”

Sabrina scowled. “You and Lando are both delusional.”

Gabby shrugged. “Maybe. Or maybe you should test it.”

Sabrina narrowed her eyes. “How?”

Gabby’s grin widened. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe just… talk to him again. See if he spontaneously combusts.”

Sabrina huffed, crossing her arms. “Fine. But when I prove you wrong, you’re buying me coffee.”

Gabby chuckled. “Deal. But when I’m right—I get to say ‘I told you so’ forever.”

***

Sabrina took a deep breath. Okay. This time, it’s going to be fine. It was just a normal conversation. Nothing weird. No running away. No painful silence. Just… normal.

Just Attempt #376 of Sabrina Laurel Clarke trying to have a normal Conversation with Oscar Jack Piastri. 

She spotted Oscar standing by the coffee machine, looking at it like it had personally betrayed him. This was her chance. No escape routes. No distractions.

“Hey, Oscar,” she said, keeping her voice light and casual.

Oscar visibly flinched.

Sabrina hesitated, then pushed forward. “You okay?”

Oscar’s mouth opened, then closed. He blinked at her. Then, with the most robotic movement imaginable, he slowly turned back to the coffee machine. “Fine.”

Sabrina frowned. “Are you sure? You look—”

“I am fine,” he cut in, voice slightly too loud. “Totally. Completely fine. Nothing is wrong. Everything is great.”

Sabrina stared at him. “...Okay?”

Oscar jabbed a button on the coffee machine with unnecessary force. Nothing happened. His jaw tightened. He jabbed it again. Still nothing. Sabrina watched, mildly concerned, as he pressed the button three more times, increasingly frantic.

“Do you want me to—”

“No.”

“Oscar, I think it’s out of—”

“I said no.”

A beat of silence.

Then, because fate clearly had a sense of humor, the coffee machine sputtered violently—and exploded espresso directly onto Oscar’s shirt.

Sabrina gasped. “Oh my god.”

Oscar stared at himself, completely blank-faced, coffee dripping down his front.

Sabrina moved without thinking, grabbing a napkin from the counter. “Here, let me—”

But as soon as she stepped forward, Oscar jerked back like she was about to attack him. “I’M GOOD.”

Sabrina froze mid-motion, napkin in hand.

Oscar stood there, eyes wide like a deer in headlights, coffee-soaked, absolutely radiating panic.

Then, before she could say anything else, he spun on his heel and speed-walked out of the room.

Sabrina stood there, napkin still raised, mouth open in disbelief.

And that was when she heard laughter.

She turned to see Lando, cackling into his hand, watching the whole disaster unfold like it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.

“He hates me,” Sabrina muttered, dropping the napkin.

Lando wiped a fake tear from his eye. “Nah, mate. He’s just in love with you.”

Sabrina gaped at him. “Are you—did you see that?! He ran away from me like I was a literal threat to his safety.”

“Exactly,” Lando said smugly. “That’s not hate. That’s terror.”

Sabrina threw up her hands. “SAME THING.”

Lando just grinned. “Trust me. It’s really not.”

****

Lando: Oi.

Lando: Mate.

Lando: OSCAR.

Lando: ANSWER ME.

Lando: YOU RAN AWAY FROM HER LIKE SHE WAS THE GRIM REAPER.

Lando: BECAUSE OF A COFFEE MACHINE.

Lando: DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW INSANE THAT LOOKED.

Oscar: Leave me alone.

Lando: I will absolutely not.

Lando: You physically recoiled when she tried to hand you a napkin. A napkin, Oscar.

Oscar: I panicked.

Lando: NO SHIT.

Lando: She thinks you hate her.

Oscar: …

Oscar: That’s unfortunate.

Lando: UNFORTUNATE???

Lando: YOU ARE A DISASTER.

Oscar: I KNOW. STOP REMINDING ME.

Lando: Fix it.

Oscar: How?

Lando: Oh, I don’t know, maybe stop acting like she’s an apex predator every time she looks at you?

Oscar: That’s not helpful.

Lando: Neither are you, mate.

Oscar: I’ll figure something out.

Lando: You’d better. Because I swear, if you make her think you hate her one more time, I am personally locking the two of you in a room until you admit you like her.

Oscar: …

Oscar: You wouldn’t.

Lando: Try me.

***

Oscar knew—knew—that Lando was up to something the second he walked into the McLaren motorhome. The smug grin. The too-casual lean against the counter. The glint of mischief in his eyes that could only mean bad things.

Oscar didn’t have the patience for it today.

“What,” he said flatly.

Lando beamed. “Oh, nothing. Just thinking how tragic it is that you and Sabrina never seem to get much time together. What a shame.”

Oscar’s stomach dropped. “Lando—”

“So I thought,” Lando barreled on, ignoring him entirely, “why not fix that? Quality bonding time! No better way to build team spirit.”

Oscar took a slow, steadying breath. “Lando.”

“Which is why,” Lando continued, still smiling like a menace, “you and Sabrina are filming a ‘Try the Aussie Snack’ video together in five minutes.”

Oscar’s soul left his body.

“No,” he said immediately. “Absolutely not.”

“Yes.”

“I’m not doing it.”

“You are doing it.”

Oscar’s eye twitched. “I refuse.”

Lando clapped him on the shoulder. “Too late! Already confirmed. Sabrina’s setting up the camera.”

Oscar stared at him, betrayed.

“You’re the worst.”

“I’m the best,” Lando corrected. “Now go. And for once, try acting like a normal person around her.”

Oscar considered running. But before he could even attempt an escape, Lando grabbed him by the shoulders and physically steered him toward the media room.

This was going to be a disaster.

Oscar could already feel the impending catastrophe brewing as Lando shoved him into the media room.

Sabrina was there, sitting cross-legged on the couch, setting up the camera with an easy smile. That was already a problem.

Because Oscar, despite all his best efforts, forgot how to be a functional human being the second she smiled at him.

“Hey, Oscar,” she said, looking up. “Ready to try some weird snacks?”

He opened his mouth.

Nothing came out.

Lando, standing behind him, groaned. “Oh my god. Speak.”

Oscar managed a nod. A stiff, awkward nod that made Sabrina blink in confusion.

Lando sighed, already regretting everything. “Okay, I’m leaving before I get second-hand embarrassment.” He gave Oscar a pointed look. “Don’t screw this up.”

And then, just like that, he was gone.

Leaving Oscar alone. With Sabrina. On camera.

This was a nightmare.

Sabrina tilted her head, studying him. “You okay?”

“Yes,” he said too quickly. “Fine.”

She gave him a look, clearly unconvinced, but didn’t press. Instead, she lifted the first snack—some kind of mystery Tim Tam flavor—and held it up. “Alright, first one up. Want to do the honors?”

Oscar nodded again, grabbed the package, and—

Immediately fumbled it.

The Tim Tams slipped right out of his hands, hit the table, and tumbled onto the floor.

Silence.

Oscar stared at them, horrified. Sabrina stared at him, confused.

Then, to make it worse, instead of just picking them up like a normal person, Oscar blurted out:

“I meant to do that.”

Sabrina laughed.

Like, full-on laughed.

And Oscar? He wanted the earth to swallow him whole.

Instead, he bent down, grabbed the fallen package, and shoved it back onto the table with unnecessary force. “Let’s just—let’s just get on with it.”

Sabrina was still grinning as she unwrapped the pack, clearly amused. “Sure, whatever you say.”

The rest of the filming went about as well as expected.

Which was to say: terribly.

Oscar stammered through half his sentences, nearly choked on a Wagon Wheel, and at one point, when Sabrina playfully nudged his arm, he nearly knocked over the entire table.

By the end of it, Sabrina must be fully convinced he was the strangest person alive.

And Oscar?

Oscar was fully convinced Lando Norris was going to die for putting him through this.

****

Lando (Car): 

Lando (Car):  I just did my best matchmaking work to date.

Emily (PR): Oh no.

Matt (Mechanic): Oh no.

Gabby (Social Media):  Oh no.

Lucy (Engineer): Oh no.

Lando (Car):  Why do you all react like that??

Emily (PR): Because your matchmaking has the success rate of a crashed simulator.

Matt (Mechanic):  What did you do?

Lando (Car):  I set up Oscar and Sabrina to film the snack taste test together.

Adam (Hospitality):  Oh no.

Lando (Car):  STOP SAYING THAT.

Adam (Hospitality):  And how did it go?

Lando (Car):  Not well.

Emily (PR): Define not well.

Gabby (Social Media): Wait. I just watched the footage.

Gabby (Social Media): The footage is completely unusable unless we want people to think Oscar is actively having a stroke.

Matt (Mechanic):  What did he do??

Gabby (Social Media):  He dropped the snacks, stumbled over every sentence, stuttered like 15 times, choked on a Wagon Wheel, and almost knocked over the table because Sabrina barely nudged him.

Matt (Mechanic): For fuck’s sake.

Gabby (Social Media): Sabrina literally came up to me after filming and once again was like, “I think Oscar genuinely hates me.”

Lando (Car):  HE LIKES HER. HE JUST DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO FUNCTION.

Adam (Hospitality):  This is the worst case of “boy failure” I have ever seen in my life.

Emily (PR): Can we salvage anything from the footage?

Gabby (Social Media):  I mean. It is funny.

Lando (Car): Post the choking clip.

Emily (PR): We are NOT posting footage of one of our drivers choking on a Wagon Wheel.

Lando (Car): Cowards.

***

Sabrina wasn’t sure why Lando had insisted she sit next to Oscar at the team dinner, but she should have known it was a terrible idea.

The moment she slid into the seat beside him, he tensed like someone had just threatened to light him on fire.

“Hey,” she tried, keeping her voice light.

Oscar didn’t even look at her. “Hi.”

It was clipped. Sharp. Barely there.

Sabrina blinked. Okay, then.

She tried to brush it off. Maybe he was just tired. Maybe he was stressed. Maybe—

“Oh, Sabrina, you’ve gotta try this,” Lando announced, loudly enough for half the table to hear. He speared something off his plate and dropped it onto hers like he was a benevolent king bestowing a gift. “Oscar loves it. Right, Oscar?”

Sabrina glanced at Oscar just in time to see him staring at the food like it had personally offended him.

“…Sure,” he muttered, then grabbed his glass and took a sip of water like it physically pained him to be part of this conversation.

She hesitated. “I mean, if you like it, I’m sure it’s good—”

Oscar made a noise that was something between a cough and a laugh. “Yeah. Right.”

Sabrina froze.

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

Lando kicked Oscar under the table—Sabrina could hear it—but Oscar just shot him a glare and went back to stabbing at his food with a little too much aggression.

Okay. She’d give him one more chance.

Sabrina turned to him again. “So, uh, do you have any fun off-weekend plans?”

Oscar finally, finally looked at her.

“No.”

Then he immediately turned back to his plate.

Lando groaned and dropped his head into his hands.

Sabrina clenched her jaw.

She was done.

Every time she tried to talk to Oscar, he shut down completely. He either ignored her, barely acknowledged her, or treated her like she was a personal inconvenience.

And yet, for some insane reason, Lando kept pushing them together.

She shoved a forkful of food into her mouth, silently seething.

Lando was wrong.

Oscar didn’t like her.

Oscar Piastri hated her.

***

Lando (Car):  I GIVE UP.

Lando (Car):  I TRIED. I REALLY TRIED.

Lando (Car):  AND HE JUST SAT THERE LIKE A F***ING STATUE AND MADE IT WORSE.

Matt (Mechanic): What happened??

Lando (Car):  IT’S A DISASTER.

Lucy (Engineer): Oh no.

Emily (PR): What did he do this time?

Lando (Car):  Sabrina tried to make conversation. Asked about his weekend. Lando (Car):  And this idiot just said “No.” AND WENT BACK TO EATING.

Jordan (Marketing): 💀💀💀

Emily (PR): You’re joking.

Gabby (Social Media):  WHY IS HE LIKE THIS????

Lando (Car):  I DON’T KNOW. I WISH I DID.

Matt (Mechanic): What did Sabrina do?

Lando (Car):  She looked like she was seriously reconsidering her life choices.

Lando (Car): And I don’t blame her.

Gabby (Social Media):  We’re gonna lose her. She’s gonna quit and it’s gonna be Oscar’s fault.

Jordan (Marketing): What if he actually does hate her? Like, genuinely?

Lucy (Engineer): No way. I caught him staring at her like a lovesick puppy two days ago.

Lando (Car):  EXCUSE ME??????

Lucy (Engineer): Yeah. He was watching her across the paddock. Full-on, dazed, in a trance, staring.

Jordan (Marketing): So he likes her. But every time she talks to him, he malfunctions.

Matt (Mechanic): That’s what we’re saying, yes.

Lando (Car):  I am going to fight him.

Emily (PR): How are you gonna fix this?

Lando (Car):  I DON’T KNOW. HE WON’T LET ME HELP.

Gabby (Social Media):  Maybe stop helping.

Lando (Car):  NEVER.

***

Sabrina flopped down onto her bed with a deep sigh, staring up at the ceiling. “I think I’m actually starting to take it personally.”

Her roommate, Gabby, barely looked up from where she was scrolling on her phone. “What, the Oscar thing?”

“Yes, the Oscar thing,” Sabrina said, throwing an arm over her face. “It was funny at first. Like, ‘oh, haha, Oscar Piastri is awkward around me,’ but now—Gabby, I swear to God, I think he actually hates me.”

Gabby finally put her phone down. “He doesn’t hate you.”

Sabrina let out a humorless laugh. “He won’t even speak to me! Do you know what happened today? I asked him how his weekend was, and do you know what he said? No.”

Gabby blinked. “No?”

“Just ‘no’ and then he went back to eating like I didn’t exist.”

Gabby winced. “Ouch.”

Sabrina groaned, rubbing her hands down her face. “And then Lando looks like he’s ready to kill him, and I don’t even know why! Like, am I missing something?”

Gabby bit her lip, hesitating. “…Well.”

Sabrina turned her head to look at her. “What?”

Gabby shifted. “Lando did say Oscar has a crush on you.”

Sabrina just stared at her for a second. Then she scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious.”

“That makes zero sense,” Sabrina argued, sitting up. “Who acts like that around someone they like? He actively avoids me! I feel like I’m in high school again and the guy I had a crush on would rather jump into traffic than have a conversation with me.”

Gabby sighed. “I know it’s weird, but maybe he’s just really, really bad at talking to his crush?”

Sabrina let out a small, sad laugh. “Well, whatever the reason, I’m kind of over it. I don’t like feeling like an inconvenience every time I open my mouth.”

Gabby gave her a sympathetic look. “Maybe you should just… stop trying?”

Sabrina flopped back onto the bed. “Yeah. I think I will.”

***

Sabrina had always prided herself on being professional. On handling things with grace. On not letting things get to her.

But tonight, Oscar Piastri had officially broken her.

She didn’t know why she even bothered anymore. She had spent months trying to be friendly, trying to smooth over whatever invisible tension sat between them, trying to convince herself that maybe—maybe—she was just imagining things.

But she wasn’t.

Because when she had reached out—again—to be nothing but nice to him, he had made it crystal clear how he felt about her.

It had been something so small.

She had only been trying to help.

They had all been standing around post-race, the energy in the McLaren garage a buzz of relief and exhaustion. She had noticed his water bottle was empty and, without thinking, had grabbed a fresh one off the table and handed it to him.

A normal, human gesture.

And then, Oscar—fucking Oscar—had recoiled.

Actually recoiled. Like she was something disgusting.

“I don’t need you to do things for me,” he had snapped.

Loud enough for people to hear.

Loud enough that Lando had blinked at him like he had lost his mind.

Loud enough that Sabrina had felt the words like a slap across the face.

It was the way he said it. The disgust. The finality. The absolute contempt in his voice, like she had committed some crime just by offering him a bottle of water.

Her fingers had gone numb around the plastic before she let it drop to the table, her throat so tight she thought she might actually choke on it.

For a second, she swore she saw regret flash in his eyes, but she didn’t care.

Because fuck that.

She had taken a step back, plastered on that bullshit little smile she had gotten too good at faking, and said, “Noted.”

Then she turned on her heel and left.

She didn’t stop until she was out of the garage, away from the noise, away from him, before her hands started to shake. Before the stupid lump in her throat finally won.

She had spent months trying to figure out what she had done to make Oscar Piastri hate her so much.

And now?

Now she was just done.

Sabrina barely made it around the corner before her breath hitched in her throat.

She had tried—God, she had tried—to keep it together, to swallow it down like she always did, to shake it off and pretend like it didn’t matter.

But it did.

Because she was so tired of this. Of trying, of second-guessing, of making excuses for why Oscar Piastri treated her like she was something he couldn’t stand to be around.

And tonight? Tonight, he hadn’t even tried to hide it.

A fresh wave of humiliation crashed over her, and suddenly, she was gripping the side of a metal barricade, blinking rapidly as tears burned in her eyes.

“...Sabrina?”

She squeezed her eyes shut, willing her voice to come out normal before she turned. But one look at Gabby, her closest friend on the media team, and it all crumbled.

Because Gabby took one look at her face and knew.

“Oh, babe.”

That was all it took. The dam broke.

Sabrina let out a harsh, shaky breath, pressing her palms against her face as the tears finally spilled over.

“I don’t—I don’t know what I did,” she choked out, voice wrecked.

Gabby stepped in without hesitation, arms wrapping around her tightly, like she could shield Sabrina from the weight of it all.

“You didn’t do anything,” she murmured. “He’s just—he’s weird—”

“No, he hates me.” Her voice cracked, and she shook her head, pulling back just enough to look at her friend. “I don’t—why does he hate me?”

Gabby’s expression twisted, like she was trying to figure out the right thing to say. But there wasn’t a right thing to say, because there wasn’t a reason.

Sabrina wasn’t stupid. She knew not everyone had to like her. But this? This was something else. Something cruel, something that made her feel like she was some idiot constantly trying to reach for a friendship that was never going to exist.

And maybe she could’ve handled that.

But what she couldn’t handle was how much it hurt.

How much it made her feel like she was the only one in the world who didn’t understand why she deserved it.

Gabby exhaled, tightening her grip on Sabrina’s shoulders.

“You need to stop trying,” she said gently. “Because if he’s too much of a coward to explain himself, then he doesn’t deserve to have you wasting another second on him.”

Sabrina let out a wet, broken laugh, swiping furiously at her face.

“I wish I could,” she whispered. “I really do.”

***

Gabby (Social Media): LANDO. I AM GOING TO KILL YOUR TEAMMATE.

Lando (Car):  …okay, so context would be great before I start panicking???

Jordan (Marketing): Seconded. What did Oscar do this time?

Gabby (Social Media): Oh, you mean aside from being a complete nightmare of a human being to Sabrina for MONTHS??

Lando (Car):  Look, I know he’s socially incompetent, but what happened?

Gabby (Social Media): HE MADE HER CRY.

Lucy (Engineer): OH WHAT THE HELL.

Matt (Mechanic): Wait, actually cry? Not just frustrated huffing and ‘I’m gonna scream’ kind of cry?

Gabby (Social Media): FULL ON. TEARS. Lando, she thinks he hates her. She literally just said, “Why does he hate me?” THROUGH TEARS.

Lando (Car):  …I’m going to kill him.

Gabby (Social Media): Not if I get there first.

Emily (PR): Oh my God. Sabrina is one of the nicest people here, what is WRONG with him??

Lando (Car):  You guys. He doesn’t hate her. He likes her. He just has the social skills of a damp paper towel.

Gabby (Social Media): OH REALLY? You wanna come tell her that while she’s sobbing into my shirt??

Lando (Car):  I—

Lando (Car): Okay yeah that’s really bad.

Adam (Hospitality): What the hell does he do to make her think he hates her???

Gabby (Social Media): Oh, you mean aside from looking like he’d rather walk into oncoming traffic than hold a conversation with her?? Or the fact that whenever she so much as breathes in his direction, he either ignores her or flees the scene like she’s a serial killer???

Matt (Mechanic): Tbf, he also does that when I ask him to sign merch for my niece.

Gabby (Social Media): THAT IS NOT THE POINT.

Lando (Car):  I swear he’s just a nervous wreck around her.

Gabby (Social Media): Well, congratulations, your nervous wreck of a teammate has finally broken her.

Lando (Car): Okay, okay, I’m fixing this.

Gabby (Social Media): Fixing it how??

Lando (Car):  Step 1: Yell at Oscar.

Lando (Car):  Step 2: Figure out Step 2.

Emily (PR): This is going to be a disaster.

Matt (Mechanic): Someone record it.

***

Oscar barely had time to react before Lando stormed into his hotel room, slamming the door shut behind him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Lando demanded, eyes blazing.

Oscar blinked, still in his McLaren hoodie, halfway through removing his shoes. “Uh—”

Lando cut him off. “Sabrina is CRYING, mate. ACTUAL TEARS. Do you understand how hard it is to make someone like Sabrina cry? You have to be horrible. And congratulations! You did it!”

Oscar’s stomach sank. “She’s crying?”

“Yes, you absolute moron!” Lando threw his hands up. “Gabby just texted the group chat saying she’s full-on sobbing because she thinks you hate her.”

Oscar swallowed. “I don’t—”

“I KNOW YOU DON’T,” Lando yelled. “But do you know what she knows? That every time she tries to talk to you, you look like you’re being held at gunpoint and then RUN AWAY.”

Oscar rubbed a hand over his face, guilt pooling in his gut. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Well, guess what? Intentions don’t mean shit if the person on the other end is crying their eyes out in a hotel room thinking you despise their existence.” Lando grabbed Oscar’s arm and yanked him toward the door. “You’re coming with me.”

Oscar dug his heels in. “Lando—”

“No. I don’t care if you combust from secondhand embarrassment. You’re apologizing to her.”

Oscar sighed, defeated, and let himself be dragged down the hallway.

Sabrina looked up when the door swung open. Her eyes are still red-rimmed, and when she sees Oscar standing there, she stiffened immediately. Gabby, beside her on the bed, narrowed her eyes.

“What is he doing here?” Sabrina asked, voice hoarse.

“He has something to say,” Lando announces, shoving Oscar forward before leaning against the door like a prison guard. “And he’s not leaving until he says it.”

Oscar’s mouth went dry. Sabrina crossed her arms, waiting. Gabby glared.

“I—” Oscar started, but the words catch in his throat.

Sabrina exhaled sharply. “Let me guess. You want me to stop bothering you? You think I should take the hint?” She shook her head, voice cracking. “I get it, okay? I got it a long time ago. You don’t have to do this whole awkward pity act.”

Oscar felt like the world had flipped upside down. “Sabrina—”

“No,” she interrupted, standing up. “You’ve spent months making me feel like I’m less than nothing to you. Like I’m some annoyance you can’t wait to get away from. And now, what? You’re forced to be here, and I’m supposed to pretend it’s fine?”

“That’s not—”

“Then WHAT is it?” she snapped, eyes burning. “Because I have tried, Oscar. I’ve tried to be nice. I’ve tried to talk to you. And every single time, you look at me like I’ve killed your dog before you run away like you can’t stand to be in the same room as me.” Her voice wobbled. “Do you have any idea how much that sucks?”

Oscar was frozen, heart pounding. Sabrina’s chest rises and falls unevenly, her fists clenched at her sides.

“I don’t hate you,” he blurted.

Sabrina lets out a bitter laugh. “You have a really funny way of showing it.”

“I don’t—” Oscar ran a hand through his hair, exhaling harshly. “I like you, okay?”

The room went dead silent.

Sabrina blinked. “What?”

Oscar squeezes his eyes shut, then opened them again. “I like you,” he repeats, quieter this time. “That’s why I’ve been so—” He gestures vaguely at himself, expression pained. “Weird. I get nervous, and then I panic, and then I make everything worse.”

Sabrina just stares at him, speechless. Gabby’s jaw has dropped. Lando lets out an I KNEW IT under his breath.

Oscar shifted awkwardly. “I never meant to make you feel like I hated you. I just... didn’t know how to act like a normal person around you.”

Sabrina exhaled slowly, emotions warring on her face. Finally, she rubbed her hands over her eyes. “I cannot believe this.”

Oscar winced. “Yeah.”

Lando clapped his hands together. “Okay, well, I think this is a great development! Now that the truth is out, maybe we can all move past the months of absolute torture you’ve both inflicted on us.”

Sabrina glared at him. “Lando.”

“What?”

She sighed. “Shut up.”

Oscar was standing there like he wants the ground to swallow him whole. Gabby, sitting on the bed, was looking between them like she’s watching the most fascinating TV drama of the year.

“You like me,” Sabrina repeated, like she’s trying to process the words in real time. “That’s why you’ve spent months acting like I have the plague?”

Oscar shifted his weight from foot to foot, looking thoroughly miserable. “Yes?”

Sabrina stared at him, then threw her hands up. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!”

Lando makes an exaggerated ding ding ding motion with his hands. “That’s what I’ve been saying!”

Oscar shot him a glare. “Not helping.”

Sabrina pressed her fingers to her temples, exhaling sharply. “Do you know how much I’ve stressed about this? How much I’ve analyzed every single interaction we’ve ever had, trying to figure out what I did to make you hate me? And the answer was just this?” She gestured at him, looking completely exasperated. “You like me?”

Oscar winced. “I panicked.”

“Oh my god,” she groaned, dropping onto the edge of the bed.

Lando leaned against the wall, looking far too amused by the situation. “I mean, at least we got to the bottom of it, yeah? No more crying, no more existential crises about why Oscar Piastri has been treating you like an actual curse.”

Sabrina glared at him again. “Lando.”

“What?”

“Go away.”

Lando blinked. “Excuse me?”

“This is your fault,” she said, standing back up and jabbing a finger in his direction. 

Lando scoffed, offended. “I tried! Do you know how many times I’ve told Oscar to stop being a complete weirdo about this?” He turned to Oscar. “Tell her! Tell her how many times I’ve told you to stop being an idiot!”

Oscar sighed. “He has told me.”

“See?” Lando gestured dramatically. “I tried to help, but noooo, someone just had to be emotionally repressed and incapable of functioning like a normal human being around their crush.”

Oscar pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lando, leave.”

Lando raised his hands in surrender. “Fine. But you both owe me after this.”

He strided to the door, pausing dramatically with his hand on the handle. “Oh, and just so you know? The entire McLaren staff group chat is losing their minds over this. We’ve all been waiting for this moment for months.”

Sabrina groaned. Oscar looks like he might pass out.

Lando grinned. “Okay, now I’m leaving.”

And with that, he walked out, whistling cheerfully.

Gabby gave them one look before following behind him. 

Once the door clicked shut, silence settled over the room.

Sabrina exhaled, looking up at Oscar again. “So.”

Oscar shifted uncomfortably. “So.”

She tilted her head, studying him. “What do we do now?”

He hesitated, then said, “I think this is the part where I properly apologise for being a complete asshole.”

Sabrina snorted, some of the tension finally easing from her shoulders. “Yeah. Probably.”

Oscar met her eyes. “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like—like any of that. I was just so nervous all the time that I kept making things worse, and then it snowballed, and I didn’t know how to fix it.”

Sabrina watched him for a long moment, like she was deciding whether or not to accept that. Then she sighed. “Okay.”

Oscar blinked. “Okay?”

“I accept your apology,” she said, crossing her arms again. “But you really need to work on your people skills.”

A ghost of a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah. I’ve been told.”

She raised an eyebrow. “By Lando?”

“And everyone else.”

She let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. “God. This is ridiculous.”

Oscar hesitated. “I, um. I get if this whole thing has been too much, and if you don’t want to—”

“Oh my god, just ask me out,” Sabrina interrupts.

Oscar stops. “What?”

Sabrina gestures vaguely. “You. Me. A date. Because if I have to spend one more week waiting for you to act normal, I will actually lose my mind.”

Oscar swallowed. “Would you say yes?”

Sabrina sighed dramatically. “After all of this? If I say no, I’d just be proving Lando right about us being a disaster.”

Oscar let out a short laugh. “So… will you go out with me?”

Sabrina rolled her eyes, but there was a small smile playing at the corner of her lips. “Yes, Oscar.”

Oscar exhales, something warm settling in his chest. “Okay. Good.”

A beat of silence. Then—

“OH MY GOD,” Lando yells from outside the door. “I KNEW IT.”

Oscar groans. Sabrina bursts into laughter.

And just like that, everything finally made sense.

***

Lando (Car):  EVERYONE SHUT UP AND PAY ATTENTION. I HAVE DONE IT. I HAVE SUCCEEDED. I AM A GENIUS.

Lucy (Engineer): …What did you do.

Lucy (Engineer): Oh god, what did you break.

Adam (Hospitality): If this is about your fantasy football league, I’m muting you.

Lando (Car):  NO. IT’S EVEN BETTER. I HAVE MATCHMADE. I HAVE FIXED OSCAR PIASTRI.

Lucy (Engineer): That’s a bold claim.

Matt (Mechanic): That’s an impossible claim.

Adam (Hospitality): Fixed in what way? Like, emotionally? That feels out of your skill set.

Lando (Car): OSCAR AND Sabrina ARE GOING ON A DATE. I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS. I AM CUPID. I AM INEVITABLE.

Lucy (Engineer): …What.

Jordan (Marketing): No.

Matt (Mechanic): This is a prank.

Lando (Car):  ASK HIM. ASK HER. I DRAGGED HIM TO APOLOGIZE AND HE CONFESSED HIS CRUSH AND THEN SHE SAID YES AND NOW THEY’RE A THING.

Lucy (Engineer): Oh my god.

Adam (Hospitality): I feel like this should be impossible.

Emily (PR): Are we sure she’s not secretly plotting revenge?

Gabby (Social Media): Yeah, I feel like she deserves at least a week to recover from months of psychological warfare before making this decision.

Lando (Car):  NOPE. IT’S HAPPENING. I AM A HERO.

Lucy (Engineer): I don’t think that’s the word I’d use.

Adam (Hospitality): Did Oscar even want you to set them up?

Lando (Car):  LOL NO.

Matt (Mechanic): So you bullied him into a relationship.

Lando (Car): MATCHMAKING. NOT BULLYING. DIFFERENT.

Gabby (Social Media): Sabrina better make him suffer first, just on principle.

Lucy (Engineer): Yeah, she deserves to be emotionally compensated.

Emily (PR): Someone make sure Oscar doesn’t panic and ruin it before the first date even happens.

Lando (Car):  DON’T WORRY. I AM HIS DATING COACH NOW.

Gabby (Social Media): That is so much worse.

Matt (Mechanic): This is a disaster.

Lucy (Engineer): I’m getting popcorn.

Jordan (Marketing): Oh, absolutely.

Adam (Hospitality): We should start a bet on how long it takes before Sabrina realizes dating Oscar is harder than working here.

Lando (Car):  Y’ALL HAVE NO FAITH.

Emily (PR): Absolutely not.

Lucy (Engineer): None.

Adam (Hospitality): Zero.

Matt (Mechanic): We have seen him try to talk to her.

Lando (Car):  WELL NOW THEY’RE DATING. SO I WIN.

Gabby (Social Media): Bold of you to assume she won’t dump him out of frustration within a week.

Jordan (Marketing): Honestly, I give it three days.

Lando (Car):  Y’ALL ARE HATERS. I AM A LEGEND. OSCAR OWES ME HIS LIFE. Sabrina OWES ME HER HAPPINESS. THIS TEAM OWES ME A STATUE.

Matt (Mechanic): …

Lucy (Engineer): Muting him now.

Jordan (Marketing): Same.

***

Lando (Car):  UPDATE. THEY ARE ON THE DATE. I REPEAT. THEY ARE ON THE DATE.

Lucy (Engineer): Are you watching them right now?

Jordan (Marketing): Are we… stalking them.

Matt (Mechanic): I just wanna know how long until Oscar panics and spills his drink.

Lando (Car): I’M NOT STALKING. I’M JUST… MAKING SURE MY HARD WORK PAYS OFF.

Gabby (Social Media): You are literally sitting two tables away from them.

Lando (Car):  THAT’S CALLED SUPERVISION.

Emily (PR): This is deeply unethical.

Lucy (Engineer): Yeah, I’m pretty sure we’re violating like five HR policies right now.

Gabby (Social Media): If HR asks, I was not here.

Matt (Mechanic): So what’s happening?

Lando (Car):  OKAY. So. Sabrina is talking. Oscar is nodding. HE HAS NOT SAID A SINGLE WORD.

Lucy (Engineer): Classic.

Jordan (Marketing): Sounds about right.

Lando (Car):  Wait. WAIT. HE JUST TRIED TO TALK. HE OPENED HIS MOUTH.

Lucy (Engineer): And?

Lando (Car): HE KNOCKED OVER HIS WATER GLASS INSTEAD.

Lucy (Engineer): Of course he did.

Gabby (Social Media): That’s our boy.

Emily (PR): Was it a full glass?

Lando (Car):  OH IT WAS VERY FULL. IT HAS NOW ENTERED Sabrina’S LAP.

Jordan (Marketing): Jesus Christ.

Lucy (Engineer): It’s over. She’s leaving.

Adam (Hospitality): There is no coming back from this.

Lando (Car): NO WAIT SHE’S LAUGHING.

Matt (Mechanic): What?

Lucy (Engineer): …Why??

Adam (Hospitality): Is she okay??

Lando (Car):  I THINK SHE JUST ACCEPTED THAT HE’S A DISASTER AND IS EMBRACING IT.

Gabby (Social Media): Honestly, that’s the only way this relationship survives.

Emily (PR): I have no words.

Matt (Mechanic): Is Oscar okay?

Lando (Car):  HE LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS TO CRAWL UNDER THE TABLE BUT SHE’S SMILING AT HIM. HE MIGHT SURVIVE THIS.

Gabby (Social Media): Sabrina is way too kind for this world.

Jordan (Marketing): Should we be worried about her decision-making skills?

Gabby (Social Media): Absolutely.

Lando (Car):  GUYS GUYS SHE JUST PUT HER HAND ON HIS ARM. THIS IS PROGRESS.

Matt (Mechanic): Do you think he’s gonna pass out?

Lucy (Engineer): 50/50 chance.

Jordan (Marketing): Do we have a medic on standby?

Adam (Hospitality): I bet he overthinks it and freezes.

Lando (Car):  HE’S JUST STARING AT HER HAND LIKE IT’S A COMPLEX MATH PROBLEM.

Matt (Mechanic): Yeah, that tracks.

Lucy (Engineer): What’s the over/under on him panicking and excusing himself to the bathroom for like ten minutes.

Adam (Hospitality): Already placing bets.

Lando (Car):  I AM SO PROUD. MY BOY IS ON A DATE. HE’S FLAILING BUT HE’S ON A DATE.

Emily (PR): This is the single most unhinged group chat I have ever been part of.

Gabby (Social Media): Agreed.

Matt (Mechanic): Not even top five, honestly.

Lando (Car):  I WILL UPDATE YOU ALL LATER. STAY TUNED.

Lucy (Engineer): God help us all.

Lando (Car):  OKAY UPDATE. OSCAR SURVIVED THE HAND ON ARM INCIDENT. BARELY.

Lucy (Engineer): Define “barely.”

Matt (Mechanic): Is he still breathing?

Lando (Car):  Yes. But he was so still for like a full 30 seconds that I thought he had short-circuited.

Adam (Hospitality): He probably did.

Gabby (Social Media): The man is a Windows XP loading screen in human form.

Lando (Car):  Anyway. They’re talking again. I can’t hear what they’re saying but Sabrina just tilted her head like she’s curious about something.

Emily (PR): Oh god. What did he say?

Lando (Car):  I HAVE NO IDEA BUT HIS FACE IS COMPLETELY RED.

Matt (Mechanic): He probably just apologized for spilling the water… again.

Lucy (Engineer): That’s fair. But also, is it too much to ask for him to just act normal for one date?

Gabby (Social Media): Yes.

Adam (Hospitality): Highly unrealistic expectations.

Lando (Car):  HOLY SHIT WAIT. HE JUST MADE HER LAUGH. ON PURPOSE.

Lucy (Engineer): No way.

Matt (Mechanic): That doesn’t sound right.

Adam (Hospitality): Are you sure she’s laughing with him and not at him?

Lando (Car): It looked intentional???

Emily (PR): Are you absolutely certain?

Lando (Car):  No.

Jordan (Marketing): Reasonable.

Lando (Car): BUT SHE’S STILL SMILING AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE RELAXING.

Lucy (Engineer): Impossible.

Adam (Hospitality): Sounds fake.

Matt (Mechanic): I won’t believe it until we see proof.

Lando (Car):  WELL GOOD NEWS. I HAVE FOOTAGE.

Emily (PR): Lando, please tell me you did not just record them on their date.

Lando (Car):  I may or may not have.

Jordan (Marketing): That is so creepy.

Lucy (Engineer): So send it.

Adam (Hospitality): Yeah, we need evidence.

Lando (Car):  SENDING…

(Lando has sent one video.)

Matt (Mechanic): …Wait. Is this actually real???

Lucy (Engineer): He did make her laugh.

Jordan (Marketing): She leans in a little too.

Adam (Hospitality): This is history.

Emily (PR): I hate that we’re all so emotionally invested in this.

Lando (Car):  GUYS WAIT—

Jordan (Marketing):: Oh no.

Matt (Mechanic): What?

Lando (Car):  HE JUST LOOKED AT HER LIPS.

Lucy (Engineer): 😳

Adam (Hospitality): 😳

Jordan (Marketing):: 😳

Matt (Mechanic): 😳

Gabby (Social Media): …Are we about to witness Oscar Piastri actually kissing someone???

Lando (Car):  I DON’T KNOW BUT HE IS THINKING ABOUT IT. I CAN SEE IT.

Lucy (Engineer): Oh my god.

Gabby (Social Media): Sabrina just tucked her hair behind her ear. That’s the universal “I like you” sign.

Matt (Mechanic): This is HUGE.

Lando (Car): GUYS HE’S GONNA DO IT. HE’S GONNA—

Gabby (Social Media): DON’T JINX IT.

Lando (Car):  OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE. HE JUST PANICKED AND LOOKED AWAY.

Lucy (Engineer): Oh my god.

Adam (Hospitality): This idiot.

Matt (Mechanic): The sheer whiplash.

Lucy (Engineer): This is painful to witness.

Emily (PR): Someone go shake some sense into him.

Lando (Car):  I AM SO MAD.

Gabby (Social Media): We were so close.

Lucy (Engineer): Classic Oscar Piastri.

Matt (Mechanic): What now.

Lando (Car):  I AM FORMULATING A PLAN.

Jordan (Marketing):: God help us.

Emily (PR): Please don’t make it worse.

Lando (Car): I will get these two together if it’s the last thing I do.

Gabby (Social Media): Let’s be honest, it probably will be.

Lucy (Engineer): R.I.P. Lando Norris. Cause of death: excessive matchmaking attempts.

Gabby (Social Media): We’ll put it on your tombstone.

Lando (Car):  YOU’LL THANK ME WHEN THIS WORKS.

Gabby (Social Media): Big if.

Emily (PR): Huge if.

Lando (Car):  You’ll see. 😈

Lando (Car):  OKAY. NEW PLAN.

Gabby (Social Media): Oh no.

Lucy (Engineer): Here we go.

Matt (Mechanic): I’m scared.

Jordan (Marketing):: We should be.

Emily (PR): Lando, I beg you to reconsider whatever you’re about to say.

Lando (Car): TOO LATE. I’M TEXTING OSCAR RIGHT NOW.

Adam (Hospitality): About what?

Lando (Car):  ABOUT HOW HE NEEDS TO STOP BEING A COWARD AND KISS HER.

Matt (Mechanic): …During the date?

Lucy (Engineer): Oh my god.

Jordan (Marketing):: He’s going to see you texting him.

Gabby (Social Media): Lando, no.

Lando (Car):  Lando, yes.

(Lando has sent a screenshot.)

Lando (Car):  SENT.

Matt (Mechanic): …“KISS THE GIRL YOU COWARD.”

Gabby (Social Media): That’s what you went with???

Jordan (Marketing):: Subtle.

Lucy (Engineer): Elegant.

Emily (PR): Deranged.

Lando (Car): Well, he just looked at his phone.

Gabby (Social Media): Oh god.

Matt (Mechanic): How’s he reacting?

Lando (Car):  He blinked. Like, twice. Real fast.

Adam (Hospitality): That means he’s panicking.

Gabby (Social Media): Yeah, that’s a full system reboot.

Lando (Car):  WAIT. HE JUST PUT HIS PHONE DOWN AND SAID SOMETHING TO HER.

Lucy (Engineer): WHAT DID HE SAY.

Lando (Car):  I DON’T KNOW, I CAN’T LIP READ. BUT SHE’S SMILING.

Matt (Mechanic): HOLY SHIT.

Gabby (Social Media): If this works, I take back everything I said.

Lucy (Engineer): No you won’t.

Gabby (Social Media): Yeah, no I won’t.

Lando (Car):  HE’S LEANING IN.

Gabby (Social Media): OH MY GOD.

Adam (Hospitality): I’M GOING TO THROW UP.

Gabby (Social Media): IT’S HAPPENING.

Jordan (Marketing): SOMEONE RECORD THIS.

Emily (PR): DO NOT RECORD THIS.

Lando (Car):  I ALREADY AM.

(Lando has sent one video.)

Gabby (Social Media): HOLY SHIT HE DID IT.

Gabby (Social Media): I NEED A MOMENT.

Matt (Mechanic): HE ACTUALLY KISSED HER.

Jordan (Marketing):: I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS WORKED.

Emily (PR): Delete the video. Right now.

Lando (Car):  Absolutely not.

Matt (Mechanic): He’s still alive, right? Like, he didn’t just immediately short-circuit and pass out?

Lando (Car):  Barely.

Lucy (Engineer): I think we should all take a moment to recognize the true hero here.

Jordan (Marketing):: Lando?

Lucy (Engineer): Lando.

Matt (Mechanic): Lando.

Gabby (Social Media): Please don’t encourage him.

Lando (Car):  You’re all so welcome. 😌

***

[michanvalentine]

I was just thinking—for fun—about how I picture Astarion’s radiant hopeful ending after the six-month celebration following the events of Baldur’s Gate 3. Sometimes you come across such absurd takes that you just go “meh,” honestly. Like, him living in the sewers, lol—why, exactly? Or him setting himself on fire the moment Tav/Durge passes away, because let’s face it, our character is apparently the only valid reason for this poor little vampy-boy’s existence (level 12 adventurer and hero who defeated the Netherbrain, sure).

Naturally, I’m focusing on the single ending—not because I don’t enjoy the romance, but because it sparks my imagination more.

I picture this vampire spawn with his small, well-kept apartment in Baldur’s Gate. A ground floor with a cozy sitting room, a hearth, and lovely wide windows letting in the light of lanterns and the chatter of the city’s nightlife. A staircase leads down to the bedroom and bath in the basement—safety first, of course, since sunlight isn’t ideal during naps. Two kinds of curtains hang from the top of the windows: a lighter, hand-embroidered one made by him, and a heavier, darker one to block out the sun.

Near the hearth is a little sewing corner and a mannequin proudly displaying his latest tailoring projects. At the foot of the small workspace sits a basket filled with spools of thread and fabric samples. On the table: patterns, needles, scissors, thimbles, and everything else he needs to work. There are always flowers on the mantel and the table—some brought straight from Shadowheart’s meadow. He wrinkles his nose, but keeps them anyway; he likes remembering how vibrant their colors are.

On the other side of the hearth is a small bookcase and an armchair full of pillows. There’s a brightly colored fuzzy throw he enjoys for the texture. That’s where he relaxes alone when he has time to read something interesting. Gale makes sure to bring him a new tome every month. There’s a stack of boring books on the floor—those come straight from Waterdeep and he can’t bring himself to throw them away. The good ones are neatly shelved, except for the one he’s currently reading, which rests on the armrest, waiting to be picked up again.

Nearby is a three-legged wooden stool, carved with floral patterns—useful for sitting by the fire or as a footrest. Halsin gifted it to him. The sideboard is well-stocked with plates, glasses, tablecloths, pots, cutlery, and all kinds of utensils. Not just any kind—he likes them refined, even if he doesn’t use them. Gotta impress the guests! And even though he doesn’t eat human food, there’s always bread and cheese on the kitchen counter. Sausages hang from the hooks. One drawer hides rigged cards and dice—only he knows how to make them work.

Next to the sideboard is a small rack for vintage bottles. Only the finest wines (many stolen) in House Ancunin! Guests are few and carefully selected from his inner circle. He values privacy and discretion, especially with those he doesn’t fully trust. He has standards! Lol. That’s why he’s rigged some traps at the entrance. Trust is good, but caution is better—especially when he’s away or asleep downstairs.

The bedroom features a luxurious canopy bed—probably the most expensive item in the house—draped with rich fabric all the way to the floor. Pillows everywhere, in every color and shape. He usually sleeps naked, in black silk sheets. The wardrobe is filled with outfits for every occasion. Many he made himself, some were custom-made by Figaro when he wanted to treat himself, and some he just flat-out stole from rich bastards. Astarion Ancunin is a fashion icon, after all.

Naturally, there are also simpler, comfortable clothes suited to his work. At the foot of the bed is a magically trapped and locked chest (crafted by Gale just for him), where he keeps gold and rare or magical items looted from evil rich folk—who didn’t deserve them anyway. He’ll put them to good use… more or less. One day, that chest will also contain the amulet or cloak that lets him walk in the sun again—he and his old adventuring party are still working on it.

In one corner of the room is a tall mirror with a refined frame. He likes it as a decorative piece—but hey, with the right company in bed, it can always come in handy! Lol. In the other corner is a battered dartboard with at least two daggers stuck in it. Mounted on the wall is a rack of weapons. A pair of curved daggers were gifts from Avernus, courtesy of Karlach and Wyll. A dagger with a Spartan hilt came from another plane, sent by Lae’zel. He doesn’t like it, but he trusts her taste when it comes to efficiency and effectiveness.

The bathroom is, of course, well-equipped: a full tub (not connected to plumbing), with a stack of soft, fragrant towels beside it, and a rug he enjoys stepping on when entering or exiting the bath. There’s a carved floral stool there too—another gift from Halsin. A couple of shelves display his beloved collection of oils and soaps. Also proudly displayed: a set of brushes for every need, because we know how meticulous he is about his hair.

His work as a vigilante (or paid assassin) is slowly paying off, thanks to word of mouth. His clientele includes people from all social classes. Rarely, but when he feels personally involved, he’s accepted jobs in exchange for goods (that he doesn’t eat). Once, a woman abused by her so-called rich lover gave him a chicken as payment. He cursed every god, then accepted, warning her not to tell anyone. He then gave the chicken to the orphan kids who plague his soul begging him to mentor them—just because he once gave them tips on how to properly pickpocket rich fools. Especially foreign merchants with heavy coin purses.

Since then, the brats look up to him and beg for adventurous stories, dreaming of becoming like him. He treats them with disdain, but he secretly loves seeing those little misfits seek his attention and try to apply what he teaches (with hilariously poor results). Not before being begged with: “Pleeeease, Mister Astarion!”

In the colder seasons, when the sun sets early, business picks up—he has more time to be active. He also has more time for the Elfsong when he’s in the mood for fun. Everyone knows him there—he’s the life of the party. Cards, dice, gossip (while gathering intel), flirting just for fun, and sometimes... upstairs shenanigans. All on his terms, of course.

Few people know the real him, and for now, that’s fine. Not everyone can be among the privileged few with access to his home, his life, his intimacy. Alfira, who often performs there, knows and accepts this. Same for his friend Lakrissa.

Once, he saved Chef Roover from a drunk, ill-intentioned outsider by draining him dry. Roover raised an eyebrow and ordered him to help mop up the piss (the guy had wet himself in fear). After that and a few explanations, Alan Alyth tried to hire Astarion as a bouncer. He agreed to “make troublemakers disappear”—nothing more—in exchange for unrestricted access to the tavern’s lower floors for his business.

Now Astarion has taken over the old Emperor’s chambers, giving them a new purpose. Still under renovation, but clients can drop by the bartender, say the code word, and be sent downstairs... Astarion has big plans for himself and his enterprise. Maybe someday he’ll add a small hedonistic lounge to share with friends who enjoy the same bloody pleasures. In moderation, of course. After all, it’s nice to inspire hope in people, not just fear, right?

And then there’s Jaheira, who drops by nearly every day under the pretense of helping with renovations, delivering materials, or suggesting more “reasonable” interior design. Really, she just wants to play mama wolf and make sure he stays out of trouble, while slipping him extra gigs on behalf of the Harpers or the Flaming Fists. At least she doesn’t nag at his house—and tries to keep Minsc out of it—but Astarion knows it’s just a matter of time before the ranger shows up in his kitchen out of nowhere, bloody, half-dressed, and with a dumb story about how he got there.

And of course, there are the Gur, who frequently seek his advice about vampire spawn kids or local monsters. If they can offload more work onto him, all the better! At least they’ve stopped hunting him, and sometimes they even help lighten the weight of vampirism. He’d never admit it, but a lot of them are actually fun—and nearly as good at cheating at dice as he is. Once, they held a kind of tournament where he almost lost. Damn cutthroat vagabonds!

So yeah, just a little headcanon about poor, helpless, useless Spawn Astarion, who supposedly can’t survive a day without Tav/Durge. xP

[clawsonpaws]

Tips for closeted littles from a closeted little

Diapers: period pads (get the overnight ones) or period underwear, they might not work superrrr well but they’re worth a try

Paci: chewlry, lollipops, baby bottle pops, push pops, I’ve seen lollipops that look like pacis before, your thumb✨

Sippy cups/bottles: cute water bottles with straws

Clothes: adult onesies, most pajamas are super cuteee, cute clothes in general no one will question you since it’s a style

Bed?: I personally roll up blankets and put them on the side of my bed not by the wall and it makes me feel like I’m in a sorta crib

If you have a way to go to a convenience store and pay without parents knowing, they will most likely have baby products, make sure to buy some big things too if they ask

Ask a friend you’re comfortable with to buy something little for you if they’re able to

Kids games on any device really, if you’re superrrr concerned you can delete them after playing them

Swaddle yourself in a blanket it’s super cozy and you can pretend you’re a ghost!!

No one questions stuffies!!! You can play pretend with them when you’re alone :3

Baths! Just say you wanna relax and you can have super fun bubble baths!

Listen to lullabies with headphones on

Mac and cheese, yoggies (they are like little balls of yogurt covered strawberries and they make me feel so little), Cheerios, cheez its, goldfish, fruit snacks

For me, cups that are super big so they make me seem small while holding them

Always use little spoons/forks

Ask parents to cut up meat when given to you (my mom does it all the time:3)

Juice boxes/caprisuns never get questioned

Bracelets make me feel little, I dunno about anyone else

Watch kids shows (no one EVER questions Bluey)

Fictional caregivers (either make an imaginary one or make head cannons of a character!!)

Character ai has fictional caregivers you can talk to, plus you can make ais of them if there isn’t any

Find old baby/toddler stuff (for some reason a lot of people have them in their closet) and say you’re keeping them for nostalgia

If you have a parter tell them the little names you like as petnames they can call you

Coloring books never get questions

Get a journal that you can write little things in or draw in when regressed

HELLO KITTY, need I say more?

Cute socks!!

Weighted blankies

Oversized everything

Truck or treat as long as you can

If you cosplay cosplay as a child

Sensory items

Those hoodies that look like puppies

Bright colors on things you can (if they don’t make you overstimulated)

The tiny backpacks

You can use graphic novels as picture books!!

Bento boxes make me feel like I’m having a little lunch

If you can use straws when you drink from a cup and not a bottle

Oversized sweater and shorts (no pants nation!!>:3)

Sorry if it’s bad I came up with everything while writing it!!

Good luck to all my other littles love y’all <3 (platonically)

[urfavleo777]

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, alcohol, oral (f receiving), enemies to lovers.

"Having fun?"

You look up from your phone and see Colby staring at you. You wonder why, out of so many people, he chose to approach you. Well, maybe because half of the guests have lost touch with reality. Your best friend Sam's birthday party didn't end the way you thought it would. Instead of innocent dancing and honest conversations over a bottle of wine, one of the guests decided to bring weed and spoil the whole party.

That guest was, of course, Colby Brock himself.

You'd be lying if you said he wasn't handsome. He definitely was and he knew it perfectly well, but due to his intolerable character, especially when drunk, his appearance didn't matter.

"No," you answer flatly. You direct your gaze back to the Instagram post of some unknown model to block your view of him, but he quickly snatches it away and puts it in his pocket at the back of his pants. "Give it back to me, you freak!"

"Such a shame. You should be dancing on the table, not sitting alone like a puppy," he says with a taunting smirk. "Let me entertain you, Y/n."

You roll your eyes as he sits down on the almost empty couch next to you. Sitting in the main room, where most people have lost contact with reality and are rolling on the floors, reminds you a bit like a scene from an asylum. Colby snorts when he notices you looking at them with a look of horror on your face. You wonder where Sam is. It takes you a moment to realize that he's probably already jumped into his fancy swimming pool. Or is just busy with doing something… else.

You decide to check on him, but as you're about to get up, your dress gets caught on the table, causing it to rip. You curse under your breath, pissed that one of your favorite dresses was ruined. You sit back on the comfortable sofa so that no one notices you exposing your leg up to the hip.

Well, you are wrong if you think this may help.

"Woah, slow down, Y/n," you shoot him an angry look and he responds with a short laugh. His mocking voice is probably caused by too much alcohol in his blood, and it starts to piss you off.

"Give me my phone back, Colby." You say seriously, senselessly trying to cover your legs.

"Take it if you want it so bad."

This is the second time you roll your eyes in his presence. There's no way you're going to touch him. Indeed - now, staring at you with those hypnotic blue eyes of his, messy dark hair, red cheeks from the amount of alcohol he drank, and lips that just ask for a kiss, he is even more attractive than usual, but… no. You can't give up that easily.

"Colby, I swear to god," it was becoming more than taunts. "Give me back something you took from me. If not, that would be the perfect reason to accuse you of st-"

"I want to shut that pretty mouth of yours." You barely suppress a flinch when he whispers the words into your ear.

You don't even look at him, but in your mind's eye you see that damn smirk on his face again.

"Wanna hear something that you'll hate?" He is a whisper in your ear, gooseflesh rising on your arms and the fire igniting in your abdomen. You decide not to play unavailable any longer and nodd without saying anything. He smacks his lips after noticing your obedience. Then he moves even closer, breaking any distance between you two. "I've wanted to rip that dress off of you since the beginning of this party. I see that fate has done me a favor."

Speaking in a low voice directly into your ear, he hit your sweet spot. But it doesn't matter when you finally realize that he's only saying it because he's drunk. In a few hours you will be just friends again with Sam, who is actually your connection to keep in touch.

"Come with me. I'll show you what having fun exactly means."

And truly, you're so close to agreeing if it weren't for the fact that you're overthinking too much.

You lower your head and look away in embarrassment. Maybe it's also the alcohol, which always makes you more sensitive, but you feel like you're about to cry. You try hard not to burst into tears, because knowing Colby he would use it to tease you and make fun of you in the future.

"Is something wrong?" His wild nature disappears in the blink of an eye. Colby cups your cheek, forcing you to look into his eyes. There's no turning back as he grabs your waist with his other hand and pulls you closer to him. "Do you want me to stop?"

You just shrug. You are a conflict full of contradictions. Part of you wants to push him away and send him to hell, and the other part wants to do the things that you only secretly dream about.

Colby, seeing your indecision, respectfully moves away from you.

That’s kinda sweet, actually.

Then he closes his eyes, and when he opens them, it feels like he's even drunker than usual.

"We can't.. do this." You say, looking up at him.

Colby nods sightly, but you know the darkness in these eyes too well. He's not looking at you the way friends looks at each other. Colby notices the way your body shifts next to him, looking at him from under your lashes and biting your lip unconsciously. Nevertheless, he says the following words:

"I have always been far from your ideal man," your face contorts in confusion. You want to tell him he's stupid, but he stubbornly continues. "You've always preferred chasing the nice guys next door, like that fucking church fanatic Dylan. You never paid attention to me, even though I tried. Remember that Halloween night at Sam's? I remember you complaining about your lack of outfit ideas. You thought that by not dressing up at all, you would spoil everyone's fun. The night before, I drove around for several hours looking for the perfect costume shop. Of course, Sam told you that he dug that outfit out of the closet, but you knew that was impossible. A witch outfit in Sam's closet? Sounds bizarre, doesn't it?"

You open your mouth in confusion. True, something like that had happened and you felt strange that Sam had such things in his closet, but you ignored the feeling and just thanked him. Now you finally know who was behind it all.

"Colby…"

"Yeah, I know I'm making a damn fool of myself right now, but I want you to know that I don't want to just use you for a one-night stand. You're beautiful. When Sam introduced you to me, that was my first thought of you. Fuck, you're so beautiful, Y/n."

"Shut up and kiss me."

This answer surprises him a bit, but soon afterwards he smiles slyly.

"Close your eyes." The heat of his breath kisses your neck.

You shiver at the suggestion of his lips, and again when they press to your skin. Close-lipped, Colby kisses the skin just under your ear where on the opposite side of your head his thumb strokes quarter circles. You're quickly overwhelmed by the duelling sensations. You don't notice his lips have parted until he's kissing a sloven path downward, his spit cooling in wake.

This isn't a hickey, this is straight up kissing, and you don't know what to do with how you feel. You hide your hands in his hair.

"Please, let's get out of here," you literally beg.

He nods and takes you up the stairs. It doesn't take long before you're in Sam's room. You giggle at the spot he chose. You close the door and let yourself be carried away by the touch of Colby's delicate big hands.

Your hand works further into his hair, getting caught in a tangle as he sucks your skin between his lips. His lazy mouthing turns insistent but still gentle, his teeth scratching ever so slightly at your pulse as it capers beneath his ministrations. You gasp at the warmth blossoming under your ribs. You cup the back of his neck a touch too tight.

He breaks a particularly rough kiss to suck in breath, his nose sliding up the curve of your neck as he leans back. "You okay?" he murmurs, half-lidded eyes locking onto your flushed face.

"Mh-" You cut off your sentence by pushing him onto the bed. With one movement of his hand, he tears off the remnants of the fabric of your torn dress and admires your half-naked body.

You sit on his lap, continuing to devouring him with kisses. In the meantime, you grab his belt and clumsily try to undo it.

"Let me help you, puppy," he chuckles as he continues kissing. You sigh at the word he called you. As he throws his pants down, you hear a loud thump on the floor.

"My phone!"

"Fuck your goddamn phone," he slaps your ass, making you moan loudly. "I'll buy you a new one."

Soon you're sitting on top of Colby, whose only clothes are his underwear.

You continue grinding on his bare thigh, his boxers pushed up high. The outline of his cock shows through the cotton, and you can’t help but grab it. He inhales sharply at the sudden contact, making you giggle.

"Love seeing you all turned on, Colby," you murmur, sucking his neck that has his eyes rolling back in his head. He moves his hand from your waist to your clit, pressing slow circles to the sensitive bud over the lace. A moan slips past your lips, quickly turning into a whimper of his name. "F-Fuck, Colby. Right there."

He throws your legs over his shoulders so quickly that it has you laughing in surprise, but that laughter stops as soon as his mouth is on you. His tongue immediately finds your clit, flicking over it until your toes curl. He wraps his lips around it and sucks gently until he has you on the brink of orgasm. His fingers return to your needy hole, filling you expertly until you cum with a wanton moan.

"So fucking good," Colby says, still between your legs. His mouth and chin are covered in a slick sheen. "You wanna taste now, baby? Wanna know just how delicious you are?"

You open your mouth and eagerly accept his fingers. They taste of your arousal and a hint of strawberry; it does bear a striking similarity to your chapstick. Once Colby lets his fingers drop from your mouth, you’re whining and writhing below him.

"Now, get on your knees for me."

[slowcatsworld]

Noel Noa - sfw character alphabet

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I tried my best but I don’t think I understand his character as well as I want to so some of this might be a touch ooc. Bro looks so good in the master striker color spread tho oml. Also I wrote so many freaking words my head hurts so not proofreading in any way. Have fun dawg

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A • Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Noel is affectionate, in his own way. He’s more of a provider and silent strong type than someone who would skip through the streets if a raining city with you like life were a rom com.

Noel’s affection shows by his consideration for you. He is prone to offering you something to drink, he brought an extra bottle of water with him because he knew you wouldn’t have one with you when y’all met up. He always can recall reminding you to bring the right attire when you go out in preparation for the weather, so for when you don’t take his warnings he can calmly explain how he tried to tell you and how you should be more thoughtful of the future. Noel is also an avid listener when you are talking about something, making direct eye contact and asking questions relating to the topic.

Noel’s very a very controlled individual, so his gestures of affection typically reflect that. Instead of running up to you and bringing you into a tight hug, Noel would walk to where you were standing and greet you with a call of your name while beginning to walk with you to your next destination. If you look closely you can see his ears are dashed with cherry red, and he’s been staring at you the whole time.

B • Babies (How do they react when they see babies and infants in public? Do they want kids of their own?)

I would wager that Noel would be rather indifferent to a smaller child he sees out in public. He might glance at the kid and note their hand that if fiercely balled into a fist around their mother’s dress, or that the father has a harness attached to his chest for the child to sleep there if they so choose.

The sight doesn’t cause any profound emotional changes to Noel, but his body does feel a tad heavier than it did a second ago. His mind might feel a little more clouded, noise beginning to creep around. However, these feelings don’t swell much more than that. Noel won’t allow it. There is no reason for the sight to affect him, right? Noel has made himself the man he is today, on his own- he must stay true to his own past and how he made more of himself.

I don’t think Noel would be opposed to kids, but he is very loyal to his career. He is at the height of his performance, the best striker in the world. A kid would complicate things, even if he wouldn’t need to take that much time off for them. A child shouldn’t grow up in an environment where his father is in another country with a rigorous job schedule. His child shouldn’t need to have that barrier between the two of them, a tension that they might not understand now, but will later in life. Noel wouldn’t want something like that. He would want to be present, to be everything he should have had as a kid.

Perhaps later in life, if there was enough time. However, if his lover did fall pregnant, Noel doesn’t really strike me as the type to advocate for an abortion. It might be the most logical choice, but the air gets tighter around his throat when he thinks about it. It would be his lovers decision at the end, and he would end up quietly wishing for her to keep the kid. To give him a chance. As the best striker in the world, Noel might be able to multitask.

C • Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle?)

Noel took a while, but he does enjoy cuddles. They are soft and safe. You would instigate the majority of them, but he comes around to silently lay by you side and put his hand on your hip until you understand what he’s trying to do.

Noel likes to loosely cuddle before bed and wake up in a tight mess of limbs in the morning. Cuddling eases the noise he hears in his brain and often replaces it with a soft, silent haze. It makes him sleepy. And lord I would wager he needs to get some extra sleep.

Noel doesn’t mind who’s the big spoon, but he generally starts out the cuddling session as the bigger spoon until you move to change positions. He is really fond of laying his head either on the crook of your neck from behind, the space between your shoulder and neck from in front of you, or having his face resting on your chest. Being closer to your pulse and heartbeat soothe him, makes him acknowledge the fact you’re a human and he’s laying with you.

If he didn’t want to sleep, he would prefer more restrictive cuddling. Something like sitting up with your heads, arms, or legs intertwined.

D • Dreams (Do they sleep well at night? What do their dreams normally consist of?)

I wanna say Noel actually doesn’t sleep that well. He gets sleep yes, but he often wakes up at random times. He’s also a light sleeper.

His dreams don’t usually have visuals to them, he mostly feels the motions of the plot. (Yk how you can feel or sense things in your dreams so you know what’s happening even if it doesn’t look that way? Yeah that’s basically all his dreams as a blur that he can feel but can’t see) Lots of nights the feeling reminds him of the slums of France, but when he wakes up the softness of his sheets always confused him even more. He gets cold a lot of the times in his dreams.

Noel stays relatively still when he sleeps. I don’t see him being a snorer, at most he’d have those wispy snores when he inhales.

E • Elegance (Are they a smooth talker? Do they fluster up and forget how to speak?)

Surprisingly, I’m going to say that Noel is a rather good flirter. Not so much with his body language. His words are also rather plain, just skimming the lines of flirting or not so you get confused when you try to analyze what he means. He doesn’t give much away.

If you know him well enough though, you can tell. He’ll face you when speaking more, and engage in the conversation with a tad bit more banter than normal. Nothing he says ever seems flirty though, but with context you just get the vibes. (Am I making sense rn??) -If you don’t get me then think abt his interaction with Ego before the PXG vs BM match for the vibes ish and how he talks to the other Master Strikers there’s sm banter and shit talking on both sides I’m convinced he’d be a little like that but more lively if he were comfortable with a love interest

If you start off strong flirting or teasing, he doesn’t reciprocate. He might he end up annoying you, questioning whatever you said previously and debunking your taunt and how it’s not actually true or wtv. His calm and confident tone sometimes makes it a tad annoying when this happens. #canttakerizz

His manner of speech is very proper. He sounds well educated, even when he’s being causal. Very good vocabulary usage.

F • Fighting (How do fights happen between the two of you?)

I don’t think there would be loud fights and arguments with Noel. Small squabbles more like it. Normally you and him would talk it out and voice both of your perspectives. Noel would be good at keeping a level head in these situations.

If you were too fired up however, I think he’d wait until you were done yelling and tell you to breathe and think. Think about what y’all can do to fix whatever happened. He never seems to get angry or sad when you yell at him, but it’s never a pleasant situation. And you know him well enough to know he’ll be thinking about it for the next couple of days.

G • Gentle (How gentle are they with you physically and emotionally? Do they consider you in certain situations?)

Noel wouldn’t shy away from simple physical contact with you. Things like his hand on your shoulder, moving you out of the way by placing his hand on your back, your feet brushing up against each other when you sit together to eat. Nothing too much, but enough to feel you.

He tried his best to think of you and your perspective on matters. Things like buying a new fridge, he’d think about how you would like the built in freezer in fridge 1 more than fridge 2. However if fridge 2 was less expensive and there was better drawers, he’d prolly end up buying fridge 2.

H • Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do they receive hugs?)

I think Noel would learn to like hugs, especially if you were a physically affectionate person. At first he was rather stiff and didn’t allow for them to last more than a couple of seconds. Now he’s chill with it, as long as it isn’t over done like a bone crushing hug where the both of your rock from side to side. A simple loose wrap of your arms around his neck or back is good for him. In public, that is. I think he’d accept all types of hugs in private.

He doesn’t shy away from the rougher and physical side of football, and I want to say this translates into his hugs. Even though it doesn’t? Idk I’m thinking about it too much and confusing myself.

You would probably initiate hugs, he never gots hugs when he grew up so he wouldn’t think of giving you one.

I • Intimacy (How serious are they about this relationship? Do they do one night stands or are in the game for marriage?)

Does not do flings or one night stands. He needs to know you first. He needs to have some type of emotional connection to you before anything turns physical.

Most likely would date for marriage. Dating someone takes time and energy, things that could have gone toward his football career (yall he is serious asf abt his career I can smell it off him) so I think he would want an end goal out of it yk? Dating someone just to have some fun or pass the time of life doesn’t seem like Noel. Even if you didn’t want marriage, understanding that you two are the end for each other is all he wants in a serious relationship.

J • Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He doesn’t seem to be someone that would get jealous to me. Noel is such a confident person in his abilities. However, I do think he would be vulnerable to insecurity. Not in your relationship per se, but of what other people could offer you that he couldn’t.

He wouldn’t suspect you of cheating or being unfaithful, but seeing well bred men born into their society standing interacting with you isn’t a comfortable sight for him. He knows you are coming home with him at the end of the day, this soothes the noise.

He might voice these to you, when you two are alone in the privacy of your home.

Perhaps you are making dinner, Noel working through some plays on his computer, he mentions a little, “the man representing the football club we met today, did you like his suit?”

You turn your head around to see him staring at you already, “I don’t recall his suit looking any different than all the other men’s suits I’ve seen before. It was standard, I guess I liked it?”

“It was a part of an old vintage collection, did you know he also owns a fashion brand that has been in his family for generations?”

You purse your lips, “I don’t understand the significance Noel. If anything I liked the one you wore more. It was probably softer anyway if he was wearing something ancient.” You go back to cooking. Noel feels his face and neck heat up. That was all he needed to hear, mumbling a little okay, yn before going back to analyzing.

K • Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His go to is chaste kisses to your forehead. Your hand if the context of the situation calls for it and matches the elegance vibes. Small pecks out in public. He’s prefer to not really kiss in public, he’d never tell you I don’t think but it flusters him too much and he gets to hot under his jacket.

When the two of you get more intimate for the night, Noel doesn’t want to part his lips from you. It gets sloppy, more rough than usual. Something only the two of you can experience with each other. Lip locking with some fingernails grazing along his scalp or muscles is the easiest way to physically get him yearning for you.

Noel likes the soft kisses you give him in the morning when he sleeps in. The way he can feel your lips through his eyebrow wisps or on his pointed nose. It’s alluring touched of heaven to him, something he wants private for himself.

L • Love Languages (What are their love languages?)

Acts of Service and Quality Time.

Noel just does things for you, makes life a little easier with gestures. I alluded to this in the Affection portion. Making sure you have your necessities in any situation is something that Noel just does. Maybe because of his backstory idk.

Noel is surprisingly a rather talkative guy. If he wants to say something, he’ll say it. Especially if he knows you. He doesn’t go out of his way to be brash, but if it applies to the situation he’s probably saying it. He enjoys talking to you about things. Moments where there is a lull in the day for the two of you, where you can talk freely about whatever you want. He likes those.

Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation are next I would think. I’ve said before I believe he finds comfort in physical touch with his lover, and he’s a quiet supporter that can still say what you need to hear while staying true to his own philosophy.

For Gift Giving, I just don’t think he puts that much emphasis or importance to it. Tangible items were never permanent in his early life, so they aren’t his preferred way of expressing himself to others.

M • Memory (what is their favourite memory with you?)

Grr I don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t know either.

Kidding, maybe something gentle. Like you two go to your favorite restaurant for a date. Your smile radiated heat through his body. You glimmer in the warm light of the lamps and candles beautifully. Your hand reaches over the table to where his is resting. Intertwined, you stroke your thumb over the skin of the bad of his hand. It’s comforting, makes everything go quieter and you feel louder. He asks you to repeat what you just said. Maybe he didn’t hear you that well the second time either, but he feels you all too well that it works out. (Idk I don’t like this but it’s wtv)

N • Night (What time do they go to bed at night? How easily do they fall asleep? What do they wear to bed?)

I think Noel values his sleep and tries to go to bed as early as he can. Even though he does, he still ends up tired a lot of times throughout the day.

Noel would want to be comfortable when he sleeps, generally wearing a t shirt and pants. If it’s a little too cold he throws on a hoodie. He isn’t fond of waking up in a cold sweat though, which has happened to him a number of times,

O • Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Noel is rather guarded, but he also doesn’t hide certain things about himself. We’ve seen him open up about his connection to Ego to Isagi, a kid he’s only known for a couple weeks.

Once he gets comfortable and your relationship is at that stage, he’d tell you a little bit about himself and his interests. His upbringing though, is a tad different. He doesn’t like thinking of it that much. It in dignifies him in a way. Especially the rougher times, the one that manifest into his dreams. I’m not sure he would ever really tell you everything, unless you have been together for a very, very long time.

P • Patience (How easily angered are they? How slow did y’all take your relationship?)

Noel is patient. Even when someone annoys him or angers him, he is never loud and violent with it. He knows how to be firm and unwavering. He also knows how not to be overbearing and cruel.

Your relationship would be slow and steady. Things happen in time. If he is serious, there is no need to rush something that will stay with the two of you for the rest of your lives.

Q • Quirks (What are little things they do that only those closest to them would know about?)

Noel cloud watches. He thinks of all the different things he can imagine from the blobs of fluffy white in the sky. All the different possibilities that all seem so far away.

Noel’s eyebrows are already thin and wispy, and their pale color doesn’t help them stand out. But when he takes his eyeliner off, it’s as though he shaved his eyebrows. The contrast from black to white made them more prominent if that makes sense.

Noel is ambidextrous with his legs, but he has a hard time writing with his left hand. He didn’t know of his ambidextrous nature until a little late into his teenage years, every time he would practice writing he always did it with his right hand as that what most people did around him. He can write legibly with both hands, but his right hand is much more defined.

R • Resentment (Who or what do they hate? Why?)

I think Noel would hate being a nobody. That’s who he was in the slums of France. He made himself into the best football striker in the world. He always says that second place and below aren’t remembered and don’t have the same worth as first place. As the truest of victories. He wants to leave his mark on the world. Second place and below don’t make marks on the world.

I don’t really think he needs strangers to love him, or know him personally, but he needs their attention. He needs their respect. He needs to belong with the best and be the best of the best. He earned it and he defends his title vigorously.

S • Scared (What are some fears they have?)

Bro what if he was scared of the dark? Or at least doesn’t like being in total darkness? 

I think realistically Noel would have some fear of being poor, not having enough financial resources to provide. Provide food, water, clothing.

T • Tough (What do they think makes them tough?)

Noel’s tenacity makes him tough. His hunger to be the best. The drive he has inside of him. Even on the days where his body is sore and his movements are slower than they should be and the noise gets too loud in his mind, his motivation burns that much brighter. The break the next challenge, to do something damn good with himself.

U • Unity (How well do they work with others?)

Honestly, Noel isn’t the biggest team player. He does work with people, but it’s literally canon if he wasn’t leading he would follow the person with the most solid rationality and the highest possibility of success, right. He still does work with others though, but he called efficiency over comfort a lot of the time.

V • Valuables (Do they think objects are valuable? Companionship? Words? What do they hold close to their heart?)

Actions hold the most importance to Noel. If you say you’re going to do xyz, Noel would expect you to do xyz. Proving your credibility by matching your actions to your morals and words is important to him.

Noel likes words. Being able to articulate your thoughts and wants. That is something he thinks every adult should be able to do without trouble, no matter the context of the conversation or situation.

Objects don’t hold as much significance. He’ll value something he has been gifted and set it somewhere in his home, but it just sits there. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate it.

W • Wildcard

Sometimes when Noel wears slides he won’t pick his feet up enough and kick just a tad too hard and bam! His slide is flying across the room a couple feet ahead of him. It stuns him for a second, not believing he did that.

Noel worked hard in academics when given the chance. He likes being educated.

(idk)

X • X-Ray (What do they look like without clothing? What is their body type? How much muscle do they have?)

Noel is a sturdy and firm guy.

He doesn’t have abs, he has a healthy layer of chub on top of them. Think Chris Pratt, but not when he was shredded for Guardians of the Galaxy but like the second or third Guardians of the Galaxy yk. Healthy and yummy.

He has thick thighs, canon.

His arms are very comforting when they are wrapped around you.

He has that V taper body but not as drastic as say, a swimmer would have. Wider shoulders, skinnier waste. Dorito shape, but it’s only truly noticeable if you’re looking at him from the back.

Y • Yearning (How do they deal with their feelings when they miss you?)

When he gets the time, Noel would call you. Your voice is good for him.

He thinks a lot, thinks about what you were wearing the last time he saw you, what your hair looked like, what time of day it was. Thinks about your favorites, your least favorites, things you have in common.

Z • Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Noel doesn’t like natural light pouring in when he’s sleeping, but he likes a small lamp on.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Mwah 😽

[ryanguzmansource]

Full Audio Transcript (5.21.24)

Hey guys, welcome to I've Never Said This Before with me, Tommy Didario.

If you are not watching 9-1-1 on ABC, you are seriously missing out. The show is so phenomenal that it has been renewed for an eighth season and, my guest today—well, he is phenomenal as well. In fact, he is on my show because of you. I saw all of the tweets, the DMs, the emails—all of it so, like a genie in a bottle, your wish has been granted.

The talented actor Ryan Guzman stars in the smash hit firefighter drama series 9-1-1 and audiences fell in love with his character, Eddie, the moment he debuted in Episode 1 of Season 2. Man, he has become a staple on the show and fans have been rooting for Eddie throughout the years, and Ryan plays each moment of Eddie's journey with such care and vulnerability and truth.

We have a lot to cover today and I have a feeling you're going to really enjoy this fun but also personal and deep conversation. We do dive into some very serious mental health conversations, so after the interview, I will be providing resources for anyone struggling with their own mental health. This is one of the most powerful interviews I have ever done, and I really thank Ryan for opening up in the ways that he did today because I know that he is going to help so many people out there feel less alone.

So, let's see if we can get Ryan to say something he has never said before.

[INTRO MUSIC]

Ryan, my friend, how are you doing today?

I'm good, brother. How are you?

I'm good. I know you have been working your butt off. You were just saying you were filming all night. Are you exhausted or are you on adrenaline right now?

A little mixture of both. I got a little coffee pumped through my system. But yeah, I think I worked six out of seven days this last week. We've been doing around 14, 15 hour days. And I just got off last night around 1.30 in the morning. So got home around 2.30. But we're here. We're here.

Well, you were putting in the work. Congratulations to you on all of the success with this show. It's of course now on ABC. People are loving it. The numbers are going insane. And you've always been a fan favorite from day one. When you had that first scene of you putting that shirt on in slow motion and your body was glistening and Whatta Man was playing, people just fell in love with your character. But that's not just why they love your character. I mean, over the seasons, people have found you so relatable and and really, really are truly invested in the role that you play. Why do you think that is?

I like to say that, I mean, I try to play as grounded as I can, but I think the story itself is just the way Tim Minear writes the character. And I think he's always had a special connection with this kind of character. So, just indebted to how he writes and the connectivity between Eddie and his son. I mean, it's just like it pulls at the heartstrings, you know, and that's always been a fan favorite as well. So, you know, I'm living in gratitude for everything that's been written for that character and I try to do as much justice as I can.

Well, you're nearing the end of Season 7 and past seasons for you have been a bit heavier, a bit more intense. You've really gone through quite a lot of things that we'll touch on a bit later, which I know is also part of the reason why so many people relate to you. Are you enjoying this journey this season?

Yeah, you know what? I haven't really been able to kind of flex my humorous side and just kind of lightheartedness, kind of a vibe about Eddie, and I love that aspect of him. So while everybody else is kind of going through chaos, while Cap is going through chaos, Eddie is kind of, you know, trying to keep everybody together while, you know, Chimney and Hen be going at it during the tsunami and The Poseidon Adventure, Eddie is just, you know, being there for everybody as much as he can. So not to say that he's always going to be happy because Tim always has this thing about saying, you know, if I just let you guys be happy, then there'd be no story. You got to have some kind of drama. Nobody wants to show up just for people smiling all the time. But yeah, we've got some things in store for the rest of the season. And from what we've already shot, I've been super pleased about, you know, this new way of life for Eddie.

Like I said, the things you've gone through are intense throughout the years. Do you have any fear stepping into this role or any anxiety before you had to film some of those more intense scenes? Because it's a lot.

Yeah, you know what? Prior to 9-1-1, I might have had some fears about the depth of a lot of the things that we shot. I honestly didn't really call myself an actor until like maybe three and a half years ago.

No.

Yeah. I thought I was just fooling everybody, trying to get jobs and land the movies that I was getting. And then I think somewhere around the third season, a co-star of mine kind of, like, metaphorically slapped me in the face and said, you know, let's really get into this, man. You got some really good opportunity here. So that's when I started calling myself an actor. But to be honest, the depth of Eddie in the past three, four seasons has been amazing as just a class. It's been class for me. It's been an opportunity to flex these emotions that I don't get to flex in my day-to-day life and to access certain things and see how far can I push Eddie, how, you know, in the scene where Eddie is just losing his stuff and he's breaking everything in his house. Obviously, I've never done it in my house, but how do I get there? How can I allow the audience to feel what I'm feeling? And that task itself becomes a challenge. And I really [like] that type of challenge. So again, living in gratitude for all the little things that Eddie presents that, you know, I haven't really been presenting my own life.

So with that being said, is there a storyline that's particularly special to you for any given reason?

I kind of lean automatically towards the military/PTSD just because I have a cousin who served six tours and, you know, he shared with me—and I actually, oddly enough, during the episode of Eddie Begins, I brought him on as a military tech and he helped out everybody in the production. His name is Randy Hudson. I, you know, I love that guy to death—but, yeah, he's shared with me a lot of his issues that he's gone through and a lot of the obstacles he's gone through in his day to day life and what it's like to be a military vet coming back and kind of assimilating back into civilian lifestyle. So that storyline always kind of held a special place in my heart just because it was very close connected with me and my own family. And I always hope that, you know, I did it justice enough for everybody that has that story ingrained in them.

I think you definitely did. I saw a lot of comments when I announced you as my guest saying that that was a very meaningful part of your journey on this show. I'm so curious, you know, quite often in television it moves so fast, there's always rewrites or so much going on. Was there ever a story that you wanted to come to fruition that never did?

I hated the fact that we killed off Shannon so quick. I know she wasn't a very likable character for so many different reasons, but I always loved working with Devin. So I would love to explore a little bit more with that. But yeah, there's always beauty and chaos a little bit. So I would have loved the relationship, mother, father, parenting style aspect of Eddie's life to be a more explored, but unfortunately that can't happen anymore.

There's always so many things going on. I'm sure it's hard to fit them into each episode, and I'm sure things do have to get cut because major things keep happening episode after episode, one of them being recently, of course, Buck realized he's Bi and that's a storyline everyone's going crazy over. Did you see that coming? Were you like, I think one day this is going to happen for him?

Well, I mean, it's always kind of been in the ether. Everybody, you know, all the fans, you know, have their speculations about Eddie and Buck and, you know, for the longest time, I think Oliver and I again had lightheartedness to it. We always kind of like saw it as like, oh, at least they're so interested in our characters. Thank God they're interested in our characters. They're not ignoring us, and I don't know if either of us had a pinpoint, you know, idea on which character or if any character would actually lead in that way.

But again, all credit to Tim Minear. He's the one that knows the way. So he chose Buck's character to explore that route. And now seeing it happen in front of our eyes, it makes so much sense. And it just the way him, Buck and Tommy are getting together and the way they're exploring their own individuality and personality. It's beautiful to watch. I was very excited to see, you know, that episode specifically, just for the fact that it was such a moment between, you know, a friend and another friend who had held this huge secret. And how do you come out to your friend?

I had a friend, you know—because I know I've had this actually in my own personal life. I've said this in prior interviews—I had a friend who was deadly scared of coming out to me. And I realized that that moment itself wasn't so much the journey for me, you know, it was this hard journey for himself. And all I had to do was catch. I just had to be there for him, and I was like, that moment itself is so beautiful. I can't wait to do that scene. I can't wait to, you know, show the world like this is how you be there for your brother.

Wow, how cool that you could pull from your real life experience and make that scene even more special, which is why I think it came off so incredibly powerful. It really was so cool to see. And the reception has been absolutely incredible in terms of people feeling like, you know, they're seen through that character and it's on prime-time TV. And you don't see a ton of that, which is still kind of crazy. But, you know, and of course, there were some negative comments, which blows my mind. I mean, I'm sure that blew your mind, too, to see that because who cares, right?

Honestly, I've got this now filter for negative comments. They just kind of seep right through and I don't even hold on to anything. So all I've seen is really, really good comments.

And one of the best parts is actually I've gone to work and Oliver himself has been like telling me these stories of people saying, man, I did not have the strength to come out until way later on in my life. So I'm like, oh man, could you imagine 20, 30 years of holding on to this repressed thing and then it just eating away at you and not being able to say anything, even to the closest people and then seeing something on television to inspire you. That kind of thing is just like, whoa, okay, we're doing something much greater, much bigger than us.

He's not the only one inspiring its characters like you because you're showing, you know, what an ally means, and I think that's really cool to see this like macho, cool guy that's just like, cool, like who cares? And that's also equally as powerful and as important. Before we put a pin on this, you know, part of the conversation, you mentioned you never know what the writers are going to do, and I think there were talks at one point of possibly Eddie being the one to come out in some sort of way. Do you laugh and have fun with all of the fandom's obsession with you as Eddie and Buck getting together? Like, is that something you guys always are seeing and hearing? And I know everyone brings it up to you and it's something that's always looming. Like, how do you react to that? Does it ever get tiring for you?

Again, if the fans are interested, we're doing our job. So I love the love. And I mean, unfortunately, I'm not the one that writes it. So it's all up to Tim. But me and Oliver have a really good time with the fact that, you know, people are so invested into these storylines. And in fact, they're so invested, they're creating their own storylines. They're sending us clips and edits and videos. And, you know, every now and then, Oliver will show me something, I'll show Oliver something. Like, did we actually do this in a scene? Because they cut it so well together.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I think at the end of the day, you know, we just love the love. We're here to entertain and tell the truth. If it's true to the character, then yeah.”

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

You can't predict the future. Nobody can on this show. But if the opportunity one day happened to come your way where they were like, this storyline might be explored between Buck and Eddie, would you be open to that storyline in the future? I see you smiling. I see Oliver had the same reaction, a big ass grin on his face when I asked this.

Yeah, you know, like I said, it's got to live in the truth and I think right now we live in a moment—or me, I live moment to moment—so I love the fact that the biggest plot point between these two characters is one happens to be Bi, one happens to be Hetero, and they have this vulnerability towards each other. And that is the truth to me is it's the fact that you have such a safe space and it doesn't matter your sexuality, that you have a safe space to talk to this individual and he can fully accept you. If we can stay with that, then whatever happens, happens.

But I don't necessarily want to push the fact that because you're vulnerable, you have to be one way or the other in your sexuality. Then I would hate to have a lot of other men who are struggling mentally and not sure about, oh, do I even open up? Because will that make me something that I'm not? I would hate to push that narrative. So if we live in the truth, whatever happens, happens. And again, I'm here for it all.

Whatever happens, happens. That's a nice way to put it. And I agree with you. I think there's power in both. I think there's power in showing a strong friendship that you don't always get to see. And then there's power if something eventually does happen. So whatever happens, happens. I like that, man. What can we expect for the rest of the season with your characters? Anything you can tease? The finale is coming up. We have a couple more weeks. What can we expect?

What can we expect? Well, we can expect that Eddie's smiles might turn to frowns.

Oh no.

Or at least confusion, maybe. We'll start to see, you know, has he gotten past certain traumas? Or is he just kind of pushed them to the side and acting like they're not there?

You know, I have to say a lot of people are still holding on to hope that we're going to get that karaoke scene.

I mean, yeah, we had such a good time playing that karaoke scene, and it was kind of a let down a little bit to know that it wasn't going to be in there. But now, again, looking at the episode itself, as fun as it would be, the main story was Chimney. And the way Kenneth Choi played Chimney, and that episode specifically—I mean, I think he got, you know, performance of the week for that—it would have been a disservice to add, you know, a three-minute scene of us laughing and having a great time and being drunks and karaoke and take away from that performance. So I'm glad that Tim made that decision, and I don't know if he has any plans on showing that later on or whatnot or having some extended clip version, but I can tell you this much, everybody from the cast to the crew to the background had a wild and crazy time doing that scene.

And I think what I just heard you say is you might accidentally drop it on your Instagram very soon.

I might get fired if I do that.

All right. Well, we'll see. I'll talk to ABC PR. No problem. What do you want to see for season eight? Like, are you thinking about the future? Is there like, OK, if I can have my way, I absolutely want to explore blank.

To be honest, there's so much going at us so rapid, so fast paced at this moment. The scripts are getting handed in like quick as can be. So we have a moment's notice to kind of know what we're doing and where we're going with our character. From what I know, from what I've shot thus far, I think next season will literally be a refresh button to Eddie. And starting over in so many different ways, so many new ways in which Eddie has never explored and we've never seen Eddie explore. He'll be on his own in a lot of areas.

Speaking of that, I have to bring up season five, the mental health breakdown, man. That was intense. And a lot of people felt very connected to that. How was it stepping into that scene for you and that storyline? Because it's pretty powerful.

Thank you. Man, that was cathartic, to be honest. It was I've gone through my own mental health issues as far as like, you know, my own depression and anxiety, and, you know, I was raised in an age where men aren't vulnerable and aren't allowed to show feelings. So that kind of repression is like a ticking time bomb, you know, especially for a person in Eddie's life, or his lifestyle. So to kind of relinquish this boundary of who Ryan is and step into Eddie and just kind of just full-on dive deep into these this well of emotion, it was, it was almost like therapy. It was crazy because, you know, from the second they started to say rolling, it's like my—I started to, you know, start bawling and crying, and when Buck comes in and, you know, he's trying to check in on me and the whole room is just all scattered around and I'm losing it—it's just like there was no semblance of Ryan anymore. It was just all Eddie and he was just lost, and that's what it is.

It's like if I were to look at my son, you know, five year old son, that's kind of what we revert back to is just this child that is just so scared and not having any sense of direction and—or hope that anybody will ever love him or ever see him. And it's just these like, you know, existential fears that come out within those tears, and that was my goal to portray that whole scene and then the scene following it. So to get there was just let go, just let go.

Well, the work you did was clearly honest and raw and vulnerable. You can't fake the work that you did in that. And it was really a powerful man for many people to kind of go through that with you and for people who have had their own experiences. And you're right, like, I'm from an old school Italian family. And, you know, you grow up thinking men don't go through that and men don't show those emotions. So to have that on prime-time TV is huge.

Yeah, I hope that helped out a lot of people. I hope that people were actually able to see that and at least, you know, go to their best guy friend, and, you know, I think that's what really needs to happen. As far as men, we need to lean on each other. You know, women have their own issues and they have their certain way of connecting with each other, but there's a special connection that you can have with your brother. And I give so much credit to quite a few of my personal brothers—including my actual brother—for allowing me to run to them in my moments of need, in my moments of feeling lost. And them, you know, being men themselves, not having to say one thing to me.

Or they can just, you know, if they see me in a moment of, you know, deep into a problem, they have the ability to say, well, here's a solution. And since I'm, you know, of like mind, I can be like, okay, you know what? Thank you for giving me some kind of direction. So yeah, I implore all men out there to kind of at least have one or two in your corner, you know, because we can't get anywhere without community.

Absolutely. What have you most learned about yourself through playing this character for so many years? You know, you joined in season two. It's been a lot of years now under your belt. Have you thought about that? Have you learned anything through playing, Eddie?

I've learned a lot through Eddie. I've learned patience. He's a—you know, he has a sense of patience that I didn't have in the beginning even prior to being a father, you know, and then kids itself, they teach you how to be patient. So, yeah, I've learned how to be there as a father. Kind of oddly enough, it was just living as one onscreen prior to actually being one in real life, it gave me, say, practice. I get to practice on television what I get to implore with my own children. And, you know, even if it's the worst thing for Eddie, you know, and I see him doing something horrible, at least I come back home, like, well, that can't happen. I can't do that with my kids. So, yeah, and in so many ways, it's helped me grow as a man, let alone a father.

That's pretty awesome when you can take things away from your job like that and become a better person. I love that so much. Can you believe you've been on the show for so long now? Do you ever think like, damn, that's not normal. That's the rarity in the business. So is that a cool feeling for you?

Yeah, I literally just had that moment yesterday. We were filming a scene, all of us, the whole cast, and I'm sitting outside—I can't tell you the location, that's going to blow something—I'm sitting outside one of the sets and I just had that moment to myself. I'm like, oh my God, I'm actually here. How did I get so lucky to be on not only just a television show, the number one television show out there, where we're in our seventh season and we're creating numbers that people don't even get in their first season? So again, if there's a moment to tap into, let's get into that gratitude again and just be super thankful that I was lucky enough to land this.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

That is so cool, and that's why I have no doubt you'll continue having so much success in your career and in your personal life because you keep bringing up gratitude, and it's very evident that's something you lead your life with. And in fact, I saw a recent Instagram post where you give a beautiful tribute to Twitch, and you credit him with being able to form connection with people in your life now and to different things and places, and I thought that was such a beautiful way to show people that you're working on yourself and you're a work in progress and that he helps you kind of open your eyes. So that was a really cool moment for you to also reveal.

Thank you, yeah. Yeah, I believe so much of the world right now is showcasing a polished version of themselves. And to be honest, I did it myself for so long that I've become tired of it, and I would much rather get to the raw—the raw, the unfiltered, the, you know, the mess ups, the, you know—I've stuck my foot in my mouth too many times. I've done, you know, stupid things in my life, and I never want to present myself as a person that does everything great because there's so many things I suck at.

So I think there's an opportunity within that rawness to invite others to become raw themselves, and for us to see that, you know, we're not competing with each other, we're competing with ourself and our own image of ourself and friends like, you know, a brother like, like Twitch, you know, and—not understanding what he was going through and that lack of connectivity that I always, you know, felt but never acted on, which again, I felt imposter syndrome for so long of calling him my brother. It really struck a chord in me and now I can't go backwards. Now I'm propelled forward to be like, is this conversation authentic between us or are we just kind of saying what we have to say just so we can pass on to the next person and create whatever that is? And I'm not here for that. I would much rather have that depth and I'd much rather have that rawness.

Beautifully said and a perfect segue into what I want to finish this conversation with, which is based off the title of the show: I've Never Said This Before. So I'm wondering, is there anything that comes to mind that you want to share today that you've never shared before?

Uh. Huh. Yeah, you know what? I've been thinking about this for so long and there's so many things, you know, that come to mind. One specifically, and I've been hesitant to actually say any of this for so long because, you know, it's been years upon years.

About six and a half, seven years ago—and I've really never said this out loud, especially onto a public platform—I had my own mental health crisis and I tried at one point in time to take my own life. And luckily, it didn't work. Luckily, I got a second chance by the grace of God. And from that moment forward, I've taken each step as an opportunity to erase what got me there and build on what allowed me to live forward. So I would say that that moment itself, in addition to what happened to my brother Twitch, are probably the two biggest fundamental moments of my entire life and have allowed me to have a deeper sense of mercy and empathy towards every individual.

So I would implore that all men renounce this fact of, you know, you're a tough man, you have to hold all this in, but lean on your brother, really lean on your brother. And if your brothers aren't being there in the way they need to be, find some new ones. Because that's another thing, if you don't have the people that are conducive to a healthy lifestyle and you're keeping on to them because of loyalty, let them go. There's plenty of other people. There's people that have been through your situation before that are willing and more than willing, you know, to help. So yeah, that was a big one.

Man, first of all, thank you for sharing something so personal and close to your heart with me today. I feel honored that you did open up and share that. And I'm truly—God, this could be another half hour conversation, so I'll keep it short—but I'm truly grateful that you are spreading that message today for anybody listening because, you know, mental health is a crisis and I think people sometimes look at you, they look at me, they think everything's perfect. We are, you know, in this public space and what can be wrong?

And when you humanize real shit like that, it makes people feel less alone. And you got through it, you realize that wasn't the right way to go about it and your life forever changed for the better, and I'm truly grateful that you put that message out today because you have no idea how many people you're going to be helping with that. And I truly know that that's something that's not easy to get off your chest. And for that, I thank you and I know so many people will be thanking you, and I hope you feel kind of like a little bit of a weight lifted that you share that hopefully.

Yeah, it's kind of hard to understand what I'm feeling at the moment. But I hope in what you said is true. And I hope that, again, I would love to do more for mental health, especially for men, I mean, just in general, to be honest. But yes, I hope that there is a new wave out there that's kind of taking over that we can actually have some cohesiveness and connection, a true understanding of what connection is. Let's revisit that. So this issue isn't a common issue anymore. If we can take that down, then let's do it. I'm here for it.

Beautifully said, and thank you again for sharing that. I could talk to you for hours, especially leaving with that. I think you're such a cool person. And you watch people, I get to talk to people all the time. But this to me was a real conversation, and that's what I value. That's why I have a show called I've Never Said This Before, and I want to talk about the projects that the fans love, but also leave room to talk about things that matter. I don't think there's enough of that. So I truly thank you for hanging out, for coming on, for talking about the fun of 911, which we all love, and it's killing it in every way, but also sharing a little piece of you. I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I have.

Thanks for having me, my man. Yeah, I had a great time.

Thank you, and remind everyone where, how, when, all the things about your show.

Yes, please watch Thursdays at 8 on ABC.

All right, and stay tuned for the karaoke scene that you just promised you will be dropping.

Yeah, maybe when I'm fired again.

All right, man, until we meet again, take care.

All right, brother.

[noctunis]

✧˖° - 5 CENTIMETERS PER SECOND.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ - featuring ; satoru gojo x gn!reader

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ - synopsis ; some bandaids and a movie is all you need with satoru.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ - word count ; 1.7k words, -7k characters

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ - cw ; sfw, gn!reader, friends to lovers ( eventually, for now it’s more so borderline ), mentions of blood and cuts, small cameo / mentions of haibara, suguru, and shoko, satoru teasing you when it’s all truth in actuality, intended lowercase

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ - notes - working on an angsty fic rn and decided to hold you guys over with a small satoru fic 🫶 hope you guys enjoy for now

“shut your mouth.”

“i didn’t even say anything—!”

you turn your head back at satoru, tensing your arms as you cross one over the other. “i could tell you were gonna say something stupid,” you grit your teeth, “you always do.”

as per usual, he lets out a dramatic gasp as his hands fly up to clutch at the left side of his button up, right where his heart is at. you scoff, shaking your head before turning back to rummage through the drawers, in search for gauze and a couple of bandaids. he sighs, “such low standards you hold me to.”

your fingers grasp a small box of tan colored bandaids as you huff at the saleswoman on the front, a painful looking smile on her face.

you bump the wooden drawer with your hip, walking back over to satoru who sits on the edge of your bed with his legs spread comfortably. you roll your eyes immediately once you catch sight of his face, a boyish grin plastered on his lips enough that his cheeks almost look a little rosy. satoru always got a kick out of pissing you off.

your lips press together into a small pout, even subconsciously, your face couldn’t help but give yourself away — only giving gojo all the more reason to tease you about it.

“shouldn’t you be with shoko? i’m sure she’d be doing a much better job than i would,” you murmur as you grab his face, cheeks squishing beneath the rough pads of your fingers ( because no matter how many skincare products you’d use, you can’t hide the calloused feeling of your battles even from your body ) as you turn his face from side to side, trying to ignore the creeping prickles of embarrassment behind your ears under his gaze.

“you’re fun-ner to hang around—“

“not a word.”

“— and this gives you an opportunity to get close to me, such an honor, right?” his eyes narrow at you with his smile, now close lipped with his head tilted up at you. you suppress the urge to let out another, ‘tch’, and instead lightly smack his cheek, which surprisingly isn’t met with a wall of his ability and is instead responded with a half-hearted, “ow.”

“give me your hand,” you don’t look up at him when you say it, making a pout of his own begin to form on those pretty pink lips, a habit he’d always do when things wouldn’t go his way— which you were reminded, wasn’t often. your own hand extends as it awaits his own and you don’t even need to look at him to feel his obnoxious smile. “y’sure this isn’t just an excuse?”

“i’m sure, asshole.”

“ouch, i would’ve preferred ‘handsome’ but you know, whatever floats your boat,” he says. you know he’s just teasing but a flush can’t help but make its way to your ears. refusing to let it get to you though, you grab his hand yourself as you start to dab cotton on some of the open wounds left behind from his mission ( which you were still not given a clear answer on why he didn’t go to shoko for his stitches and instead bee-lined for your dorm, in need of you ).

“maybe just keep your mouth shut for this part, yeah?”

“part?” satoru inquires, before his mouth twists into a sneer at the sight of you grabbing the hydrogen peroxide, putting the ball of cotton underneath the opening as you tip the bottle upside down for a split second before turning back to him with a smile.

you hum in agreement before grabbing his fingers, spreading his two middle digits as you examine the skin for the laceration you had spotted earlier. despite what he knew was coming, satoru didn’t make a move to escape. he simply closes his eyes, his hand reaching out to grab your wrist — thin fingers coming to where your pulse point rests. you can’t exactly say why you did it, but you let him hang onto you. maybe suguru was right. maybe he was growing on you, after all.

you grit your own teeth as if you were the one getting disinfectant on your own wounds. holding it there for a quick second, your ears prick up at gojo’s hiss as you pull away. “blow on it,” you affirm, causing him to peek a cerulean eye open at you, taking in the way you hold onto his fingers for a bit before looking away and making your way over to the trash can.

truth be told, you could’ve totally shoot your shot and threw the cotton ball in the trash from that distance, but you couldn’t let satoru have front row tickets to your sympathy ( even though you had a feeling he probably exaggerated his reaction for your attention ).

you hear a, “do it for me?” from behind you and turn only to see his puppy dog eyes and his glossy lips, holding his hand out for you to grab again.

you scoff, “let it burn then.”

he instead, blows cool air on it, like you asked.

walking back over to him, you hand him a small roll of finger tape for him to use and decide not to help him this time. an oxymoron lies within him, a man who can be so dumb yet so smart at the same time — he really can do anything, you think.

“you missed out this mission, y’know,” he laughs as you cross your arms, making sure he applies it right, and of course, knowing you see through his façade, he does. “me and suguru kicked curse ass. well, that’s nothing new but you know—“

“stupid,” you flick his forehead, not even letting a chuckle slip past your composed demeanor at his entertaining grumbles of, ‘ow..’ you put your hand on your hip as you cocked your head at him quizzically. “if you kicked so much ass, how come you can’t take care of yourself for once?”

“because i have my darling, amazing, and super caring friend to take care of me?”

“i’m not sure you’d describe shoko like that.”

“talking about you, you know,” he drags out the last vowel in his keen, rolling his eyes as a playful smile makes its way onto his face.

you laugh at that, “i’m not sure you’d describe me like that. did this curse scramble your brain or what?”

gojo tries not to reveal the feeling of triumph that arises in him when he makes you laugh, although his posture perks up a little too obviously at the sound. he taps a finger to his chin in thought. “when have i ever not been nice to you?”

“you ate the cake that suguru got me for my birthday, you tripped me the other day, you—“

“yeah, but i do all those things because i love you,” he responds proudly — neither you nor him focus on the heavy weight it settles on both your chests. “yeah right,” you roll your eyes.

he sighs, moving back to make himself comfortable against the plush pillows of your bed as his head sinks into them. “so,” he grins at you, “wha’dya wanna watch?”

“bold of you to assume you’re spending the night here,” you huffed as you watch gojo’s arms fold behind his head, snowy strands of hair splaying out against his skin. “you wouldn’t kick your favorite friend out, would you?”

“so manipulative,” you mumble as he lifts his hips up so you can search for the remote under the covers, because despite all of your comments, satoru gojo is never denied.

once you find it, he reaches over you to try and grab it before you use your leg to keep him away. “uh-uh, my dorm, my rules.”

“actually, it’s the school’s dorm — if you wanna get technical,” he says, pushing up his glasses as his voice raises in pitch. you glare at him, he stops.

you surf through the multitude of movies that are available for free with your subscription, listening to satoru’s mindless chatter as he points out a few new movies that are coming to theaters soon, how he wants to see them with you ( and suguru, who he’ll hopefully use a decoy before he coincidentally ‘has plans’ and has to cancel, leaving you and satoru alone ).

“oh, that one—!” he points to the screen, propping up on his elbow as you click on the thumbnail. ‘5 centimeters per second’, you read as your eyes squint to read the synopsis.

“you really wanna watch a romance movie?”

“hey, it’s a good movie — haibara cried,” he retorts.

you scoff, “are you sure you didn’t cry?”

“whatever, let’s just watch it, yeah?” he grabs the remote from your hands ( making sure to graze your fingers with his own ) as he clicks the movie to play — the familiar tune of a piano quietly filling the room as you turn off your lamp.

you watch the opening, resting the back of your head against your hand as satoru gets comfortable. you try to drown his mindless chatter out as you close your eyes and focus on the low audio, the dialogue not even being enough to draw out his low voice next to you. the small nudges against your arm don’t exactly help either.

“you asked me to watch this movie yet you keep interrupting it,” you finally say, your speech cutting short at the last syllable once you realize his intense gaze focused on you. no smile, no teasing quirk of his brow, just an uncharacteristic glint of curiosity swirling around in his eyes.

you laugh to get the tension off before he smiles too, giving you an amused huff before turning his head back to the movie; once again ignoring the growing weight that sat on both of your shoulders, satoru’s heart palpitating ever so slightly as you tapped your foot against his.

cerulean eyes find their way back to you, finding your own pair fixated on the distant screen as takaki comes on screen. his grin widens further. he taps his foot against yours.

𐙚 join my taglist ; @sad-darksoul @kasumitenbaz @seternic @kalulakunundrum @2ukika

𐙚 requests are open — july twenty-seventh, 2024 ( 12:50 am )

[dinerdweller]

Please Please Me - Challengers bot release

Notes: My first ever bot release!! I hope these are not too bad (I think its obvious which ones I struggled with lmao) and pls send in requests for any bots, I'll make them for any of the characters I write for!! also this was meant to be for anniversary but im clearly late so oopsies

warning: not proofread as usual

• I Saw Her Standing There - Art Donaldson

₊˚⊹ ➾ Art is used to being dragged along to parties by Patrick, just to be left alone without even a drop f proper conversation. But he's not used to finding a way to really enjoy them.

• Misery - Patrick Zweig

₊˚⊹ ➾ Patrick was wallowing in his own self pity. Another serious relationship where he truly put everything into it had failed, or so he thought.

• Go To Him - Tashi Duncan & Patrick Zweig

₊˚⊹ ➾ Tashi always knew of your crush on Patrick, even though they were dating. So one night when you were all slightly tipsy on some cheap beer bought by Patrick, she can’t help but push you two closer together.

• Chains - Art Donaldson

₊˚⊹ ➾ For years Art thought that how Tashi was acting was out of love, and it was, but not for him. She was basking in his glory after her own career couldn't go on, and Art could finally see that when he met you.

• Boys - Art Donaldson

₊˚⊹ ➾ Sure Art had kissed girls before, but they never made his head spin like you do. And when he kisses you, it ignites every thrill throughout your body.

• Ask Me Why - Patrick Zweig

₊˚⊹ ➾ Cheap dates and meaningless hookups were what Patrick was used to, but not anymore. You reminded him what love was truly like, and he couldn't be more emotional about it.

• Please Please Me - Patrick Zweig

₊˚⊹ ➾ Tour is lonely for anyone, especially when the one person ou are committed to is far away. So when you surprise him with a visit, pleasure is the only thing on both of your minds.

• Love Me Do - Art Donaldson

₊˚⊹ ➾ Art couldn't be more obvious with his beg for you to love him, the only thing left was to actually ask you, which was terrifying. So when he finally builds himself up to do it, he won't turn back.

• P.S. I Love You - Art Donaldson

₊˚⊹ ➾ Even in these hard times during your marriage, it was the memories that bring you back. His letters were always special, so was he.

• Baby It’s You - Patrick Zweig

₊˚⊹ ➾ When Patrick cheated on you, it broke you world. You tried to stop loving him, but couldn't. apparently he felt the same

• Do You Want To Know A Secret? - Tashi Duncan

₊˚⊹ ➾ Years of friendship can bring secrets out of people, so when Tashi tipsily asks if you want to hear one of hers, it’s an obvious yes. Little did you know what that secret would entail.

• A Taste Of Honey - Art Donaldson

₊˚⊹ ➾ When art leaves for the tennis academy, he promises he’ll see you soon. Flash forward a few years, that comes true when you reunite at Stanford over a bottle of wine and unspoken desire.

• There’s A Place - Patrick Zweig

₊˚⊹ ➾ Every time Patrick returned to his home town, he never stayed with his parents. Why would he? It was always you, you were the very reason he even came home.

• Twist And Shout - ATP

₊˚⊹ ➾ A party is always fun, its a shame when two boys interrupt the true joy you were experiencing

[leashybebes]

fic: blue and gold (12/28)

@bucktommyfluffebruary day 12 prompt is a day at the beach and my fill is here. picks straight up from yesterday

tumblr version below for those who prefer to read here.

Sal and Gina's place is close to the beach and when Tommy wakes up he can hear the waves. He's always loved their house for this exact reason. He groans, reaches for Evan but finds the other side of the bed empty. He pries an eye open and sees a note propped against a glass of water. He squints, makes out wake up, lazy. Me and G going to the beach!!!

The amount of energy Evan has is truly startling to Tommy. He rolls onto his back and rubs his hand over his eyes. He's spent countless nights in this guest room, but never with anyone by his side. He smiles despite the hangover for a few seconds before Sal yells from downstairs.

"Ey! Kinard!"

"Oh my god, shut up," Tommy grumbles, before pushing himself up on his elbows. "What?" he hollers back.

"You want some grease?"

And god, Tommy really does. He levers himself out of bed, sped along by the smell of bacon, frying eggs, sausage patties. There's a sandwich waiting for him on the kitchen table and Sal is several bites deep into his own.

"Better halves are already down at the beach," Sal says with a shudder. "I'm gonna shower and then we can join them? Sweat off the hangover?"

Tommy gives a thumbs up, his mouth too stuffed with Sal's patented hangover cure sandwich to speak.

Half an hour later, in a set of borrowed clothes, he walks with Sal to the beach. It takes them a moment to spot Evan and Gina, splashing around in chest-deep water.

"She likes him a lot," Sal says as they settle in the sand.

"Yeah?" Tommy pretends he isn't pleased. "Present company aside, she's a good judge of character."

Sal flicks sand at him and Tommy slaps at his arm. Behind his sunglasses, he watches Evan in the water, the way he ducks under the surface, the way the water streams down his body, the way he throws his head back to laugh with Gina.

"Put your tongue back in your mouth, Jesus," Sal says as he tosses Tommy a bottle of water.

"Oh, like you're any better."

Sal shrugs. "What can I say? I did well and I know it."

"Same," Tommy admits.

He settles back to let the sun bake him for a while, only opening his eyes when he feels a shadow fall over him, drops of salt water landing on his chest. Evan grins down at him, smile eclipsing the sun, eyes bluer than the sky.

"Hey," he says.

Tommy lowers his sunglasses enough to look at him, clear, unfiltered, beautiful.

"Hey, baby. You and Gina having fun?"

"So much. She's awesome."

"Taste in men aside, she sure is."

Tommy ignores Sal's noise of protest, reaches for Evan's hand to coax him down onto the hot sand by his side.

"Missed you," he says.

Sal pretends to vomit and Tommy makes a mental note to throw something at him when he's done kissing Evan.

[mukbeez]

MARS CAN I HAVE HCS FOR DOING UR MAKEUP WITH THE DUCKS <333333

PLSPSLOSLSLSLSÑSLSPSLSÑSLÑSJSLDLSJSKS ILYSM KSBDND

doing ur makeup with the ducks !

✧ warnings: none!

✧ characters included: charlie conway, adam banks, lester averman, fulton reed, connie moreau, guy germaine, julie gaffney, ken wu, dean portman, luis mendoza, dwayne robertson

✧ additional info: can be read as romantic or platonic! readers gender isn’t explicitly specified but is supposed to be fem

✧ m.list — nav.

ೃ༄ charlie conway

he’s. very interesting about it

he’ll mainly just sit and watch cause he doesn’t know what else to do but will ask questions

“omg what’s this” and it’s probably mascara

even though he’s a guy u would think he knows that

he’s not mean about it or anything, he actually asks a lot of questions because he’s genuinely interested

ೃ༄ adam banks

i have a hc he has an older sister so he actually knows what a lot of the bottles are

he’d let u test lipsticks on his arm <3

and if u wanted his honest opinion on how ur makeup looks he may or may not be able to give it 😭 but if he thinks it looks bad he’ll hesitate for like 5 mins before finally saying “you look a little crazy.. i’m sorry”

and he’d let u put some on him for funsies

ೃ༄ lester averman

he’d talk non stop the whole time u do ur makeup

it’s like 40% questions and 60% random nonsense

it’s entertaining though because he knows all the gossip and has fun facts that are actually terrifying

he’d wanna try to put makeup on u but u don’t let him cause he’ll fuck up 💕

and if u get up to go to the bathroom or just to get something u come back and bro looks like a clown

ೃ༄ fulton reed

despite the fact he’s very silly and chaotic and always has something to start yelling about he actually likes the peacefulness of when ur doing ur makeup

it’s like a little free period for him cause he can get hw done, sleep, just sit there and talk normally, etc

ofc cause he’s a Teenage Boy he’d probably make fun of u a little but he’s overall amazed by the process and how long a full face takes

and also would ask u to tell him whatever gossip yk and his responses are so funny

“so yk chelsea?—” “OHH THE ONE WHO GOT PREGNANT??? YEAHHH” “apparently the dad is j-“ “JAKE??? I FUCKING KNEW IT.”

ೃ༄ connie moreau

i feel like she’s one of those girls who only wears like mascara and lipgloss (not cause she’s a pick me but because she doesn’t know how to do anything else)

will ask u to do hers for her! and teach her how to do stuff like blush and eyeliner since she doesn’t know how but rlly wants to learn

and she also compliments ur makeup every 2 mins

“omgg u look gorgeous!” “connie babes i haven’t even put anything on yet” “and? <3”

ೃ༄ guy germaine

says things like “you look so pretty” or “that looks so cool? omg?” every 2 seconds

he genuinely thinks ur the greatest at doing makeup

and he also let’s u test lipsticks on his arm

i feel like he’d ask u to put eyeliner on him just cause he wants to see what it looks like on him <3

also his hands are probably really steady for some reason?? so if u have shaky hands hed help u put stuff on

ೃ༄ julie gaffney

100% curls ur lashes for u if ur also terrified of the lash curler

does hers with u even though she doesn’t rlly use concealer and foundation and skin stuff cause she washes her face every day <3

but she’d know how to use literally everything and is fucking amazing at it and can help u with whatever u want

would ask u to help her choose colours if she decides to have colourful eyeshadow

let’s u paint her nails <3

ೃ༄ ken wu

i’m ngl he probably just sits there and watches

probably uses the time to just talk about whatever

and if y’all have classes together he asks for help with hw 😭

“so what’s number 4 again??” “oh it’s 13 over 6” “ty!!”

he’d also start organizing ur makeup for funsies and brings u snacks and water if he gets bored

ೃ༄ dean portman

will look through literally all ur makeup for funsies

and also asks a shit ton of questions

would probably say “that’s so girly 😹🫵” as a joke but he’s actually rlly intrigued and likes watching u do it

hands u whatever u need but u probably have to explain it to him and he grabs it at the last second to be a bitch

“can u hand me the lash curler?” “the what” “that curvy thing that looks like a little science tool” “wtf r u talking about” “oh my god let me—“ “OHHH U MEAN THIS”

sometimes he actually has no idea wtf u mean though

ೃ༄ luis mendoza

knows what everything is cause as we all know this MAN WHORE has had like 400 gfs

would suggest different lip colours to do

will 100% rizz u up while ur putting on lip gloss or lipstick

“i like that colour, u should kiss me so we can both have it” “that wasn’t smooth at all”

he also makes jokes like the little comedian he is (compares random people to random shit)

ೃ༄ dwayne robertson

he’s like adam but more talkative

would try to guess what everything is used for and like very rarely gets it right

but when he does he gets so excited

he’d do ur hair while u do ur makeup so u don’t have to after

WOULD PLAY COUNTRY MUSIC IN THE BG.

[picckl]

myvur lore drop? 👀

I'm so sorry it took me a bit to get to this, i had to properly prepare to talk about him as fully as i can-

Myvur, full name Myvurton Wise'ferth Belesseau III, is a half-elf, half-halfling wild magic sorcerer who i play in a campaign called Eclipse. He looks like this:

Myvur is heir to the Belesseau household- the second most powerful household in Thuun’velia, the Pelorist empire and a very powerful faction in the world the campaign takes place in. Pelorism in this campaign is, to put it kinda simply, really bad, a kind of christo-facism situation where they're the ruling class and currently in charge, and very keen on making sure everyone follows their really morally questionable religion. Myvur II, his father, runs/owns the capital city due to their ancestor being a saint. His father looks like this:

(and the family crest)

Despite Myvur not being the eldest in his family, he's still the heir, due to the fact he's the oldest male member who looks like his elf father (and the original Saint Myvur), leading him to carry on the family name. NOT due to any actual personal talants- he's good at the violin, and he's good at reading, but growing up he really sucked at magic, public speaking, and pretty much everything being heir entailed despite trying really really hard to live up to the expectations set for him. Part of that was just his own different talents, and also the fact that he's a lot more mellow and nervous than the rest of his family with actual emotions in his heart, regardless of how he's tried to stamp it out.

To put it without spoilers for my party- wizard college and shit parents with expectations you've never been able to meet despite your need to impress them don't mix, and Myvur got desperate and did something stupid and now he's stuck with a lot of very old, very powerful space magic bottled up inside him (hense the wild magic sorcerer). He does not know how to deal with this space magic. His family did not know how to deal with the space magic. Bad times all around, especially when it causes him to occasionally trigger things called "arcane spasms", bursts of strong magic he's not in full control of, which either result in something being blown up or him turning into his Moon Beast form, a thing that looks like this:

The campaign has been about 3 months of in-game time, which Myvur has spent learning that hey, Pelorism isn't the top of religions and actually taking over small towns and forcing them all to convert while ruining their day to day lives ISN'T cool, and that it's ok to feel weird about the numerous executions your dad brought you to, and your family is very hated both within and outside the city they run. Also got to learn his dad killed another player character's dad, and that altogether his family's actions have affected everyone Really Badly and maybe even him as well, a thought he hasn't really let himself think about up until this point. So far, some notable actions of his have included:

Blowing up a long-standing family friend on accident thru an arcane spasm bc she was threatening his life if he didn't tell her where his friends were, after going undercover and living with her for the past week to try and get information out of her by reading her mind. Something that certainly won't stick with him (he cast 2nd level shatter and critted, she had NPC stats, and was kinda pulverized)

Found out his dad executed his best friend's dad. And then had to break the news to them that their dad was dead. A scene which caught most of the party off guard bc THE OTHER CHARACTER'S PLAYER DIDN'T KNOW THAT THEIR FATHER HAD BEEN KILLED

Found out the god he follows is not only generally hated in a lot of different areas, he's also actually killed at least one other god for no good reason, and might not be as kind and open as Myvur always wanted to believe

He's a very compelling character to play, just in the way it's really fun unpacking and changing the very centeralized views he has on everything and unlearning those and a lot of the other behaviors he has. He has a lot of genuine care in his heart and this is the first time he's been able to show it and he makes me very sad. Myvur the guy that you are

(I'll elaborate on this all more of course, but right now this is what the party knows, and most of them follow me on here. Also his artfight profile can be found here!)

[emotannies]

main reason i love buddie so much is bc buck as a character flawed and imperfect and is neglected and abandoned and left behind and people seem to think he's too much, even his friends, his family, they don't say it but it's there sometimes. but i love buddie bc eddie loves him unconditionally and unapologetically, platonic or not, eddie loves all of buck

buck who sabotages his house viewings, and then sublets his house so he doesn't have to worry about it, who he hugs goodbye bc of the not non-argument they had

buck who comes out to him after almost breaking his ankle in a hissy fit, who despite the big change is a new thing he gets to love about buck

buck who almost dies and he tries to lift his dead weight suspended in the air, who has to count every single second that his heart is not beating

buck who helped him in a moment of crisis, no questions asked, got him up on his feet and took care of him and his child, not needing anything in return

buck who rescued him as bullets went flying all around them, who put himself in danger to protect the people he loved, who he revealed to be a legal guardian of his child bc he thinks he's dispensable and no one will need him

buck who clawed at the wet dirt trying to get him out, almost kills himself looking for his child after a natural disaster, and had almost ruined his life trying to get his job back

buck who helps him with his worries even tho they're practically strangers, who took a while to warm up to him bc he thought eddie was replacing him

buck who also loves unconditionally and unapologetically everyone around him. who fights and argues and lets his emotions dictate his life. who rants and goes on tangents about things he knows and loves. who bottles his most important emotions just so it doesn't affect the people around him. who want to be the best version of himself people will finally love him for

eddie loves all of buck, the over analyzing, over thinking, over explaining buck, the fun quirky buck, the nerd who spits fire rapid facts at him any given time of day, the buck who takes care of chris like he's his own, the buck that is just a child begging to be loved and cared for by the people in his life

eddie loves buck, platonic or not, he loves him, flaws, imperfections and all. he has done and said some pretty stupid things yet eddie has been the one to be there for him, to show up consistently, to be the person little evan needed growing up.

buck loves loud and strong, eddie loves quietly and subtly. but for buck he's willing to love him back the same. eddie who tries to listen and understands buck, eddie who never put him down for talking to much or talking too fast. eddie who who wants buck to be angry and sad and upset when he needs to feel all those feelings simultaneously

i just love that buck has his person, he might not know it or not acknowledge it or eddie might not say it or know it or acknowledge it either but eddie is and will always be buck's person. i love that eddie loves all of buck, platonic or not, of course

[whaledenwtf]

Gale Dekarios X Sorcerer!Reader - Spin the Bottle

The Gale girlies of tiktok got their clutches in me and I want him. I already had my hands full with wanting Astarion AND Halsin but now Gale too? I can't believe I've dedicated so much time to PIXELS. Anyways, here's some wizard sex. :)

AO3 LINK: Here Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist: Here

Warnings: afab!reader and Male Smut, Body Worship ( Female Receiving), Creampie, Oral (Female Receiving), Misuse of the Mage Hand Cantrip (oh yeah), Praise Kink, Spin the Bottle Trope, Angst too!!! Sorry

I try to keep Gale as close to his character as possible but the idea of even entertaining Mystra in the fic for more than half a moment fills me with anger. So I try to only bring her up during the angst.

WORD COUNT: 5325

The last few days... weeks? Have been awful. Ever since you met all your companions in the wreckage of the nautiloid ship (and evidently, the wreckage of any normalcy) you've spent every day exploring the Sword Coast looking for answers and seeking guidance on how to rid yourselves of the tadpole. During the day, the heat is cooled by the breeze of the ocean, but nothing can quell the stress of the band of misfits you find yourself surrounded by.

"We should head to the cre'che. You may be too far gone, too weak, but I need the guidance of Queen Vlaakith." A chorus of groans echo Lae'zel's words.

"All offense, but I do not want a githyanki prodding in my skull." Shadowheart tells her annoyed. You roll your eyes, bracing yourself for the oncoming fight. You've been around them long enough to know that the daily Lae'zel and Shadowheart fight will have to be broken up by you, again. Lae'zel unsheathes her sword and points it towards Shadowheart.

"Just because you are a k'chakhi, doesn't mean (Y/N) can't understand reason." You look around and see everyone look annoyed. Well, almost everyone. Astarion always watches the fights with glee, bright smiles and wicked intentions.

"Excuse me? What did you just call me? I'll make sure Shar punishes you greatly." Shadowheart pulls out her mace. You can already tell this will get bloody. You walk in between them and put your arms out.

"Enough. For gods sake, both of you need to relax. You're both acting unreasonable." You cringe the moment you say those words.

"Unreasonable?!" They both respond, aiming their weapons at you. You roll your eyes, pulling out your staff.

"Point those weapons at me again and I'll make sure to cast a Hold Person so well you'll be stuck here until you transform." Everyone's mouths drop open at your words. You were a sorcerer, usually kind tempered, or you'd like to think so. This has been the tenth time you had to break up a fight between the two in the last three days. It was sickening, and you were at your wits' end. Astarion giggles with glee, clapping his hands at your words. You point your staff at him too.

"I'll cast it on you too-" He pouts at your words, no longer finding the threat fun when it's directed towards him. "Now all of you shut the hells up so we can go find more answers on what to do. No more fighting." Everyone nods silently. You exhale loudly and smile.

"Now let's go." Lae'zel scoffs, sheathing her weapon and bumping Shadowhearts shoulder as she walks past. You turn away and lead the group forward, going towards the Goblin Camp that is holding Arch Druid Halsin captive; the druids in the grove said he may have information on your tadpoles.

"I'm afraid that I cannot heal you. These tadpoles are different, and have magic that even someone as experienced as I cannot remove them." Halsin tells you sadly. The group groans at the tall elf's words. After completely eradicating all the goblins and other beasts in the camp, Halsin is still unable to help.

"However, I was able to track that they are coming from the Shadow Cursed lands, and may be tied to the Moonrise Towers." This was news! Not as good as you were hoping, but its a lead! A start to an otherwise longer journey.

"I appreciate you trying Halsin. Thank you." You tell him quietly. He nods, his hand on your shoulder.

"I should be the one thanking you. You have freed me and explained what Kagha was planning to do to the Emerald Grove-" Astarion cuts off the Druid.

"Yes yes, we get it. We helped. Seems like we did it for no reason." Without turning your gaze away from Halsin, you wack him with your staff. After a loud thump and Astarion's "ow", you smile at the elf.

"No need to thank me, Halsin. Your information will guide us onward." He nods, frowning for a moment.

"Once I get back from ending the Rite of Thorns, I will meet you at your camp and join you on your journey. I hate to ask more of you, but I need assistance with eradicating the Shadow Curse."

"More help?!" Astarion exclaims. You turn around, ready to strike again, but Gale beats you to it. He does you a solid and wacks him upside his head with a large tome. Astarion flinches, complaining about his hair. You smile at Gale in thanks, who winks in response to you before you turn back to Halsin, blushing.

"I'm sure in ridding the curse we may find more information about the parasites." Halsin engulfs you in a hug, and you laugh patting his back.

"Thank you, little one. I will trek to the Grove now. You are more than welcome to join me." You turn to look at all your companions, some of which seem eager to go back to the Grove.

"I think we should, just incase a rampant goblin attacks you again." Halsin chuckles, before letting go of you.

"Then let us make haste."

At the Grove, you watch as Halsin berates Kagha. Afterwards you see Zevlor run up to you.

"We must thank you (Y/N)! We gathered all our gold so we can give you something for your troubles." You watch as the man pulls out a small pouch, filled with everyone's gold. You felt pity, as the need to do good outweighed any reward, especially one so small. You knew taking their gold would leave them only with the clothes on their backs, and the supplies they had.

"Oh Zevlor, I cannot take this from you. Keep it for Baldur's Gate. We are just grateful we were able to help in time." He shakes his head.

"At least let us thank you. We can celebrate at your camp and share our wine and food with you." You ponder this.

"Something to destress may be necessary, lest we hear Lae'zel and Shadowheart fight again." Gale whispers in your ear. Your breath hitches. Ever since you pulled Gale of Waterdeep from the collapsing portal, you've been smitten. Despite his very human nature, his soft brown eyes, beautiful features and prose had caught your attention. He was gorgeous, and your heart yearned for him, mind, body and soul.

"If I have to hear the word cre'che one more time I might gauge my eyes out." You whisper back. He chuckles, the sound warm and it shoots straight to your core. You make your decision.

"I think a celebration with some wine, food and good company would be a great reprise from all the stress. We'll see you at sundown." The group cheers, excited for some wine and relaxation. This seems like the first decision everyone agreed with. You smile at them as Zevlor walks away, telling the tieflings about the celebration.

You were already drunk off the vinegar-like wine, teetering on the edge of consciousness and depravity. You see all your companions scattered across the camp; some entertaining the company of the tieflings, others drinking on their lonesome. This won't do! Your drunk mind exclaims. Before you could act on it, Astarion walks up to you, smirking.

"Well, hello to you sweetheart." You blush at his forwardness. It seems everyday you spend together he gets more bold in his words and touches, but he isn't Gale.

"H-hello Astarion." You tell him, stuttering from your inebriated state. His cold hand meets your arm, and you startle, sobering up momentarily.

"Just a hello? I was hoping for a better form of greeting." You roll your eyes at his theatrics.

"And what would that form of greeting be, my beloved?" You ask him sarcastically. He grins, his fangs glistening in the lowlight of the campfire and lanterns scattered about.

"Perhaps a kiss? Maybe a night, with yours truly? I can make you feel things no man has ever made you feel before~" He grabs your waist and pulls you close.

"No things a man has made me feel before? That's cute, but won't work on me." You tell him, slapping the side of his face as though he were a child.

"Won't work? Darling, it's true! I will make you crave my touch~" He whispers to you. You laugh in his face, and he frowns at your response.

"You should go into comedy with such jokes!" He lets go of you and pouts.

"You're no fun." You smirk at his words.

"Oh I'm plenty of fun. You're just not my type." He is taken aback.

"I'm everyone's type, sweetheart. You're just lying to yourself- or your standards are quite low." You really can't entertain his theatrics any longer, your eyes already looking around for Gale.

"Alright Astarion. As lovely as this conversation was, I've got to go." You pull away from him, spotting the wizard near his tent, a glass of wine in one hand and tome in the other. You rush towards him, before your journey is cut off by Karlach.

"H-hey soldier!" You smile at the tiefling.

"Hi Karlach. Are you enjoying yourself?" She nods, her body swaying.

"Of course! Between my engine sort-of working for now, and the booze, I'm on cloud nine!" She tells you, spinning in place. You giggle at her theatrics, before stabilizing her when she gets too dizzy.

"I was thinking of playing spin the bottle! Now that I can't burn people it would be fun to play-" She gives you puppy dog eyes. You feel bad for Karlach, you really do. A victim to Zariel, and now to her infernal engine, you can tell she just wants to be hugged and loved. You hug her, grinning. She grips you back tightly, sighing into your arms.

"Let's gather the others! Can't wait for the inevitable Lae'zel and Shadowheart kiss." You both laugh. You let go of each other and rally the others. You manage to get Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Gale, Wyll, Karlach, Astarion to join you near the campfire. Even Halsin decides to join, after you ask him sweetly. You're all sitting in a circle, with Halsin to your left and Astarion on your right. Gale is sitting directly infront of you, and you catch his gaze more than once. You decide that if anyone asks, the blush is not from the handsome wizard, but the booze. Yeah that'll work, you think to yourself.

"Can't wait to kiss you, sweetheart." Astarion tells you. You roll your eyes, taking a sip of a new bottle of wine.

"Get in line, fangs." Karlach tells him, smirking at you. You laugh at her words.

"Alright, alright. Let's get to kissing!" You smirk at everyone. After a minute of downing the bottle in your hand, you empty it and put it in the center of the circle.

"Now that little alchy finished drinking, who wants to spin first?" Astarion speaks up, smirking at your companions. With enthusiasm, Karlach shouts.

"ME ME ME!" You chuckle at her reaction, and give her the go-ahead. You watch her buzzing in her seat as she spins the bottle. It does one, two, three spins before landing on Wyll. They look at eachother, eyes wide.

"Oh shit-" Karlach whispers. The whole circle starts chanting, and after a minute of tense stillness they kiss. You all cheer, laughing and smiling. Then they don't let go, still kissing. The cheering gets louder,

"Oh gods, split it up." Astarion says, fake gagging. They split, gasping. Both of them are blushing, and you smirk.

"Had fun?" You tease them. They look away from each other, realizing the implications of their kiss.

"Alright, now Wyll's gotta spin!" You tell them, grinning. Wyll shuffles closer to the bottle, watching it spin until it lands on Halsin. You gasp, before cheering. Their kiss was quick, but you could tell Halsin was in control. He chuckles as they part, and Wyll sits back down. Halsin spins the bottle, and it spins for a solid ten seconds until it lands on Shadowheart.

"Now this will be interesting." Astarion whispers into your ear. You giggle into your hand, nodding. Your eyes split from Halsin and Shadowheart to see Gale watching you and Astarion's closeness with a frown. Before you could give him a look, you hear cheering. Your eyes glance back at Halsin, who pulls Shadowheart onto his lap and grips her tightly as they are kissing. Your eyes widen, lips parting.

"Oh." After a minute, they split, panting. Shadowheart stands from his lap, her legs left unstable from the powerful kiss. She fans herself for a second before spinning the bottle. It barely does a full turn before it lands on Lae'zel. You start laughing loudly.

"Absolutely not." She says loudly, already reaching for the bottle.

"Hey! No respins!" Karlach says, eyebrows furrowed. Shadowheart huffs. Lae'zel hasn't spoken up, just watching Shadowheart's plight with a grin.

"Fine. But watch yourself, githyanki. I will not hesitate to end you if there's any funny business." Lae'zel rolls her eyes, before pulling Shadowheart into a passionate kiss. Everyone's jaws drop as they kiss, all their verbal fights (and some physical, mind you) seemingly have turned into sexual tension. Lae'zel pulls Shadowheart into her, before pushing her under her. After hearing someone moan, you decide to cut it out.

"Okay, stop! Holy hells, if you're gonna do that do it in the privacy of your own damn tent." You tell them, grimacing at the sounds coming from them. Without a word, Lae'zel picks up Shadowheart and walks away from the circle. You guffaw, before turning back to the other companions, eyes wide.

"Um-" Astarion cuts you off, smirking.

"Alright! Since they left its my turn!" He claps, before spinning the bottle. It lands on you, and you groan.

"Come here, sweetheart." He whispers. As he closes his eyes, you give him a quick peck and turn away before he could wonder what happened.

"That was hardly a kiss!" He shouts, crossing his arms.

"Oh, boo hoo Astarion." You tell him, laughing. You spin the bottle. It does one, two, three, four turns, before it lands on the object of your attentions. Gale's eyes widen, and he freezes up.

"Pucker up wizard, it'll be done before you know it." Astarion sulks from beside you. You crawl towards him, blush deepening. When you get into his personal space, you sit down on your haunches and get comfortable. His hand goes to the side of your face, while the other goes to your waist. Your arms wrap around his neck and you meet in the middle.

This kiss was unlike any other you had in your life. The world around you disappeared, sounds muffled. All you could feel was Gale and his magical essence. You became tuned to one another, magic flowing freely between you both. His hands move around, the one on your hip going to the small of your back and pulling you closer, as the one that was holding your face goes to the back of your neck to hold you to him. Your lips open when his tongue traces the seam of your lips. Your tongues battle for dominance, and you moan into his mouth. That seems to snap him out of the trance, and he separates from you. You can see his deep blush, and he gets up and runs off. Your eyes follow him, and you furrow your brows.

"If he ran away because of your kissing skills, maybe I should be grateful you only gave me a peck." Astarion says. Your eyes snap back to his.

"My kissing isn't the problem. I'll go check on him." You get up, dusting the dirt off your legs and walking towards his tent. When you turn around, to glance at your companions, you see Karlach and Wyll cheering on Astarion and Halsin as they kiss. You roll your eyes and look forward, going into a jog so you could reach Gale's tent sooner.

When you get to his tent, you cough outside so he can hear you. You hear him mutter a "come in" so you enter slowly. When you enter his tent, your eyes widen. Its larger on the inside, and looks homely. There are towers of tomes and books, some old and some new, and your eyes are taking in the beauty of the bigger-on-the-inside tent that reflects Gale's personality. When your eyes stop wandering, you notice Gale sitting on the edge of his large bed, hands holding his head as he sits dejected.

"I wanted to check in on you." You tell him quietly, walking closer to him. He sighs, and looks up at you.

"I'm sorry-" You reach him in two short strides, and kneel so you are below him. His eyes follow your movements, and you see the sorrow and sadness lurking in his beautiful brown eyes.

"You never need to apologize to me Gale. Are you okay?" You ask him softly. He sighs again, frowning.

"I'm not." He says quietly. You know he's upset, by the succinctness of his words.

"You can always tell me what's wrong. You know I care about you-all of you." You save yourself at the last moment. Now's probably not the time to admit your feelings, especially when he doesn't seem receptive to your advances.

"I'm just-" He exhales loudly. "You're not the issue here, (Y/N). I am. Everything I have done, everything I do, was for her. Now I feel lost, between the bomb inside my chest and the tadpole in my head, I feel as though I have no control over anything." Your hands gently takes one of his, holding him softly.

"You are the most talented wizard I have ever met, Gale of Waterdeep. You have control over everything, more than most of us." He shakes his head, eyes getting misty.

"You're wrong, you know. I have lost favour with my goddess, and have lost control over my emotions it seems. I just ran away from you and you still check in on me. Gale's Folly, I once named my demise. But it seems everything I do adds to my torment, and it affects others." You go to deny him but he cuts you off. He turns to the side, looking in the distance.

"I have always known my purpose, since I was young. Hone my powers, control the weave. Serve my goddess. The universe that was once kind to me has turned against me, against my reverence for Mystra. I was cursed, am cursed. In the deepest darkest shadows of my folly, I met you. A sorcerer who I respect and admire greatly. Now I am destined to lose that too-" You grip his hand tightly.

"You have not lost me yet, Gale." You whisper gently to him. His face snaps back to yours, his eyes searching yours for the truth. All he sees is your honesty and admiration.

"I do not deserve you." He whispers, shedding a tear. You wipe the tear away, holding his face.

"It is I who does not deserve you, Gale. You've been hurt, badly. I would never expect anything from you more than what you are ready to tell me. You must know how important you are to us, to me." He looks down at his lap, pondering.

"I've always felt the need to do anything to serve Mystra. Even sacrifice the deepest parts of myself for her, if she had asked. Many times, she had. But you; you ask nothing more from me. You give without taking, and I don't understand how you think I am deserving of your kindness." He whispers.

"Gale. You are magnificent. I care about you, more than I care for the others. Ever since I pulled you out of that portal I knew that you'd be someone I'd care for. Since then, all I've done is fallen more for you. You don't need to reciprocate any feelings, but you have to know how much someone cares for you- I care for you. You are worth much more than Mystra has ever given you credit for." His eyes snap back to yours, widening at your words.

"I did not realize-" You cut him off gently, the hand on his face squeezing slightly.

"I was afraid to say anything. I understand your trepidation regarding your situation. If I was in your position I would have given up long ago. But please, please do not think for a moment you are not worthy of love. You are kind, good of heart and deserving of more than most of us in camp." He pulls you into a hug. Your arms find themselves around him, squeezing him tightly. Your head finds itself in the crevice of his neck, inhaling his scent of old books and hazelnut; a scent you could only describe as Gale.

"I'm sorry. I do care about you, deeply. I have not felt such a way since Mystra, but sitting here with you now, I have never felt such acceptance and understanding. I'm afraid of what darkness the future holds, but it does not seem as dim if you are there with me." He tells you into your ear. You sigh, nudging your nose deeper into his neck. You leave a soft kiss on the side of his neck before pulling away.

"I'll help you rid yourself of the Netherese Orb, and then the parasite. You are not alone." His hands grip the sides of your face.

"I can never feel alone when I'm with you." He pulls you into a kiss, and the adoration he feels for you translates in the movement of his lips. You kiss him softly, before pulling away.

"I do not want to take advantage of you when you are feeling so low." You gaze at him, admiring his looks. His eyes, long dried from the tears, shine in the light of his tent.

"I want to be here with you. No advantages are being taken. Please-" He pleads, begging for you. You bite your lip, and his eyes follow the action. He rushes forward, sliding off the side of the bed and kneels in front of you. He pulls you into a kiss, desperation and need coursing through his blood. You moan against his soft lips, all worries and fears dissipating into the night air. He pulls away from you, panting.

"Those sounds... You're entire being... No magic can compare to your beauty." He whispers, his breath fanning against your lips. You blush under his gaze and words, unable to reply.

"I want to show you my love the way gods do, please let me." He tells you against your lips, kissing you again. Your hands cradle his neck, thumbs trailing up and down the column. You pull away again, shaking your head.

"I don't need magic, or gods. Not when I have you right here infront of me." He pulls away, a deep blush on his face. You notice that it goes down his neck, reaching his chest; as well as the tips of his ears, which are also tinged crimson at your words.

"Are you sure? I can make you feel things, see things.... experience things beyond your wildest imaginations-" You cut him off, pouting.

"You already make me feel those things, Gale. Can't I have the man in front of me? I am no goddess, and you needn't seek my approval. You already have it." He nods, before taking your hands and pushing you forward so you're laying against the floor. His fingers link with yours and pull them above your head. You're panting, breasts heaving and grazing his own chest. His gaze trails from your features down to your neck, then further down to your chest.

"Gods. Seeing you in such a state makes me reconsider if I am truly cursed. You're ambrosial." His face goes to your neck, peppering kisses and licks up and down. You moan again, your arousal climbing higher. Your hips begin to grind the air, praying for solace, pleading for his touch. He bites down on you, blunt teeth tickling your skin. You gasp out, back arching so your bodies are fully touching.

"Please, please Gale." You whimper, eyes closed and lips parted.

"What do you need, my love?" He asks you huskily, still licking and kissing your neck.

"I need you." You wail out, eyes watering from his teasing.

"Not as much as I need you, my sweet." With a wave of his hand, both your clothes dissipate. His eyes wander, admiring your body. Your hands go to his chest, caressing the hair there. For a moment, your fingers hover over the tattoo, before touching it with such gentleness. He exhales at your touch, eyes closing while your hands wander. Your hands go to his shoulders where they caress the tense muscle there. He smiles before opening his eyes, adoration shining in them.

"You are a goddess." You squirm under his words, blushing deeply. His hands start to caress the sides of your torso, going up to your breasts. His thumbs start rubbing against your peaks, the rough texture of his fingers making you whimper. Your hands squeeze his shoulders, as you look at him pleadingly.

"Gale, don't tease me." His eyes glace up to your face, as he lowers himself closer to your chest.

"Don't worry my sweet sorcerer, I'll make sure this night is magical." His lips take in one of your nipples, as he begins to suck and bite. You gasp, your nails digging into his shoulders. As he worships your nipple, his other hand begins to play roughly with the other one. His empty hand waves, and a mage hand appears and takes both your wrists in its mystical grasp, placing them above your head like Gale had done moments before. He moves to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment.

You whimper under his actions, panting and arching into him. One of his hands trails down to the apex of your thighs, and begins to caress your core. You exhale loudly through your nose as you bite your lip, groaning. He comes off of your chest with a pop! and grins at you.

"My sweet, are you this wet for me? Can't wait to spread you open and taste you for myself-" His hands spread your legs as far as you can go, as he lowers down. You feel his breathe on your core. For a moment, nothing happens, but then he summons two more mage hands to hold your thighs open as he begins to taste you.

His tongue licks the side of your thighs, as he places open mouthed kisses on your hot skin. He does this for a minute, just worshipping your skin, and then he licks up your core. He moans into you as he tastes your slick, eyes closing.

"Ambrosial, just as I suspected-" He opens his eyes and looks at you as you watch him attentively. "I can't wait to taste you until I bring you to other planes of existence." He attacks your pussy with fervor, licking and prodding at you. His ambidextrous tongue works wonders on you, he spreads you open further with his fingers, as he brings his tongue into you. You gasp at the intrusion, hands struggling against the grip of the mage hand, wishing to push him further into you. As he continues to taste you, his concentration wavers and the mage hands dissipate. Your hands latch into his dark curly locks, tugging at him as you continuously plea don't stop. He chuckles into your skin, as he pulls away.

"I won't stop worshipping you until the end of the night, my beloved. I promised you magic, and you'll take it like a good girl." You whimper at his words, slick leaving you. He licks it up from the source, moaning into your skin. As he goes to take your clit into his mouth, two of his thick fingers caress at your entrance before going in to the hilt and curling upwards. You caterwaul at the attention, hands gripping his locks tighter. He licks and sucks at your clit, fingers pistoning in and out of you. You feel your nirvana quickly approaching.

"G-Gale I'm close, so so close. Please-" You beg him, eyes closed. He hums against your clit as he curls his fingers curve upwards. You've hit your peak, back arching into the sky and thighs tightening against his head. You see explosions of colours behind your eyelids, and your body is weightless for many moments. As you come back from your high, you open your eyes to see Gale admiring your face; his fingers lazily pumping into you. You clench around his fingers as you pant, eyes still unfocused.

"O-oh-" You whisper, head hitting the floor as you close your eyes to try to get your bearings. Gale chuckles at you as he removes his fingers from you, tasting your spend on his skin. As your breathing gets back to normal, you open your eyes again to gaze at Gale.

"I want to please you-" He cuts you off, picking you up off the floor with relative ease and depositing you onto the bed.

"If you do that I know I will not be able to please you as long as I'd like." He tells you honestly as he licks his lips. You surge forward, capturing his mouth against yours. You can still taste yourself on his tongue, and it excites you further. Your legs lock around his waist and pull him into you, his cockhead bumping into your clit. You split from each other, admiring one another.

"Take what you want from me, Gale of Waterdeep." He moans at your words, and grasps his cock in his hand.

"You don't know how you affect me, (Y/N). Your words, your scent, your taste. I can't wait to take you and make you mine." As he speaks, he thrusts into you in one quick motion, bottoming out inside of you. You both gasp, the connection unlike any other you had ever experienced in your life.

"Please make me yours Gale. I'll be anything you want, do anything you want. Just make me yours." He begins to thrust into you, his pace rough and deep. He continues to hit that spot, and you feel your orgasm coming again.

"I'm s-so close." You whisper into his ear, kissing the side of his face. He turns and pulls you back into a passionate kiss. He pulls your legs over his shoulders, and you feel his tip kiss your cervix. You gasp against his lips, panting.

"That's right, sweetheart. Let go-" His words bring you to your crest, and you babble as your brain short circuits. As you reach your peak, he does as well, moaning out your name against the column of your neck. His hips stutter to a stop as he releases inside of you, the clenching of your pussy too much for him. He collapses onto you, kissing your neck and whispering sweet nothings to you. After a moment, you pull him into a gentle kiss, savouring the moment with him.

"You are perfect." He whispers to you as you part. Your hand caresses the side of his face.

"You are the perfect one. I hope I can spend the rest of this journey reminding you." You tell him softly. He closes his eyes, smiling at your words.

"How can I ever consider myself less than when I am in your embrace?" You blush, pulling him into a hug. After a moment, he gets up, getting a cloth to clean your mixed spend from between your thighs. Once he deems you clean, he lays back down next to you. You spend the rest of the night cuddling, hushed words of love and appreciation to one another.

The End.

[skepticdoe]

domestic South Park headcanons maybe?

Hi Anon!!

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!

Okay so I’m just listing characters and random ass headcanons because there is no way to organise my brain lmaoo

This is when they’re college aged so all moved out into dorms/houses and the whole shabang

Kyle:

He is either an ICE COLD SHOWER type of person or a SCALDING HOT SHOWER typer of person. Absolutely no in between.

absolutely LOATHES ikea furniture. When he gets new furniture for his dorm, it takes him an entire day to put a bookshelf together because the instructions are just pictures and it drives him nuts and he has to like FaceTime five people and it’s a conjoined effort to get the bookshelf up.

Since he has thick hair and I hc him to be a headphone user, he constantly goes through the crisis of trying to wear them over his hair.

only ever invests in those chargeable vacuums because one time when he was vacuuming near a staircase, he tripped over the cord and fell and ate shit on the stairs. The thing bruised the most was his ego and his sanity 💔

Since his dad is a lawyer, he learned how to tie a tie when he was younger so he is the one that ties his friends ties when they’re going out for a formal event and it drives him nuts.

He takes handwritten notes during his lectures and then spends hours transferring them to his laptop

He hates people who wear sunglasses inside

He used to hate having any kind of facial hair but someone told him he has babyface once and now he only maintenance shaves.

Stan:

Does dog walking as a side hustle but gets WAYYY too attached to the dogs he walks for an hour.

He’s like one of those people that ALWAYS HAVE SOCKS ON like Kyle has known him from like basically birth and he’s seen Stan’s feet like twice.

Has one of those mini basketball hoop things in his room but he lost the small ball that came with it like the day he got it and so he just tosses random items in there when he’s bored because why not and he’s also our #1 boyfailure so

He was one of those small babies who had a really big ego. Like when he was an infant he had the BIGGEST ego. Baby Stan had BEEF with baby Kyle because Kyle started walking first and got all the attention which bruised Stan’s ego so he in turn intentionally crawled himself off a table for the attention. He still has a small scar on his forehead to prove it (Sharon makes fun of him but Stan can’t remember cause he was an infant so its really funny)

Would sticker-ify EVERTHING. His water bottle, laptop, phone case etc. literally anything he can get his hands on.

LOATHES doing the dishes because he hates it when water runs down his arms.

Records his lectures and his ‘study’ is just listening to the recordings over and over again

Kenny:

Would love the minions movie. Like unironically don’t ask me why but I feel like he would get really strong cuteness aggression when he sees minions 😭

Would try busking at least once in his life but with a harmonica and he would just play Billy Joel on repeat.

Babysits the neighbours kids and is a favourite and ends up driving carpool for all his mom friend’s kids.

He has like iron scorch marks on a bunch of his clothes cause he consistently leaves the iron on and gets distracted and because he has an addiction to those iron on patches and he never reads the instructions and leaves them under the iron for too long.

He would absolutely have a random stop sign in his room.

When he moves for college, he hates not being close to Karen and Kevin so he makes sure to invite them over regularly and spends the entire day cleaning because he wants to impress them😭

Cartman:

Makes those insane and probably toxic breakfast burritos and has caused several communal kitchen microwave incidents.

For some reason, I feel like he would be the type to get his own everything. Like if Kenny, Stan, and Kyle share one toaster, Cartman just has his own. He even has his own shelf in the fridge lmaoo. But yes he would get his own appliances and even a doormat for his room in the dorm and he would get so mad if anyone even breathed near his personal items.

Always takes the aux no matter who’s car it is. You’ll literally have to pry it out of his cold dead hands.

Is a DEVOTED belieber. Also a diehard 1D fan and literally mourned when Liam Payne died. He was truly manifesting the 1D reunion.

Fell for the TikTok shifting era and sweared by it and now goes around and denies it ever happened

Has a sims 4 version of everyone and uses the sims as a coping mechanism instead of just murder (😭 the pool death method…)

Also just owns a golf cart he drives around college campus that he claims is a medical aid

I just KNOW the campus underpaid barista hates to see him come in.

Pays a random high schooler to sneak into his college lectures and write down notes for him.

These are really random and not really COMPLETE but I think a lot of these can stem off into other ideas. I’m also writing these half asleep and with a finicky keyboard that has a five second lag 💔 I was also going to include more characters and potentially ships (rarepairs hate to see me coming) but I think ill dedicate another post to that. Anyways, it is SO refreshing to write these headcanons again after lowkey abandoning tumblr for weeks at a time. Thank you to all the people who stayed and have been super supportive I love you all 😭