#As in the shock triggered a heart attack and she doesn't have to pull the trigger
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rottmntrulesall · 20 days ago
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Tbh i can't even blame this guy for freaking out at loona's hellhound form, like, imagine you're talking to some girl and suddenly she turns into a giant anthropomorphic dog.. i would've reacted worse
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katyaromanoffpetrova · 1 year ago
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Thrown in the deep end
Katya doesn't set foot into a swimming pool anymore after some serious trama. Or does she?
• Natasha Romanoff x Fem!OC • Wordcount: 1k • Warnings: mentions of panic attacks, therapy and PTSD Masterlist
Starting a new series where I post all the small scenes I've written over the years that have never seen the light of day because they didn't fit into the story the way I wanted them to :) This one is for the anon who asked about Kat's fear of water.
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Natasha's heart stopped when she stepped onto the back terrace of their vacation home, the drinks in her hands nearly falling to the ground. White hot panic slashed through her body as she watched her wife slowly descend the steps into the swimming pool, more and more of her legs being swallowed by the water.
"Kat, what are you doing?!" She exclaimed in shock, fully ready to dive into the pool with her clothes on. Katya was terrified of large bodies of water. Anything that allowed her to fully emerge herself was a trigger for her PTSD. Even simply sitting on the edge with her legs in the water could sometimes be too much.
But she looked so calm now. Tense, sure, but determined in a way that was fragile. "I'm alright." Katya tried to smile encouragingly, but it was more of a grimace and her hands trembled visibly. She never stopped walking, though.
Natasha gaped at her, frozen in place, totally not alright. She wanted to yell at Katya to get out, to ask if she'd gone insane, but instead she held her breath, watching her every move. 
Katya stopped when the water was at her stomach, right below the edge of her bikini bottoms. She struggled to keep her composure, her chest rising and falling in breaths that came too fast, a glint of panic in her eyes. But she stayed where she was, letting the water lap at her skin like it was confused too. 
It was the furthest she'd been in ten years. 
"I have no words,'' Natasha managed to say. Her brain was in scrambles. So confused that it all just short circuited. Katya in a swimming pool just did not click. ''So many questions, though."
Katya slowly looked up at her, smiling carefully. "Come join me."
Quickly, Natasha put the drinks down and pulled her dress over her head. She saw that her wife was fighting not to let the panic take over, and she wanted to be close in case that happened. Those five seconds that it took to get to her could make a huge difference.
Extremely slowly, as to not break her focus or accidentally kick up too much water, Natasha joined Katya's side. The cool water was such a relief against her warm, burning skin, but she hardly felt it. All her attention was directed at Katya. She wasn't sure if she could touch her or if she should keep her distance, but Katya answered that question for her by leaping into her arms like she was a lifebuoy. 
This closely together, their fronts pressed together and Katya's arms tightly looped around her neck, Natasha could feel just how anxious Katya truly was. The muscles in her body were so wired and tense that they were rock hard, and her breaths were flat.
"I guess you've been keeping things from me," Natasha teased lightly, hoping that if she talked, it would help distract Katya from the situation a bit. Although she seemed to be doing fine so far.
Katya smiled, glancing down at the small necklace resting between Natasha's collarbones. "I haven't been on two therapy sessions a week for months."
Natasha had to contain her surprise. "Months?"
"Well, that's not entirely true," Katya backtracked. "I only see Eliza once a week, but I've been working with a trauma rehab specialist, Helen. She specializes in PTSD cases and works at this rehab center Eliza works with very closely. Helen's been helping me overcome my fear of water. Large bodies of water, specifically."
Natasha listened with her jaw figuratively on the floor. Her wife had been doing this all on her own without her knowledge. She should feel some sense of betrayal or hurt, but she felt only awe starting to bubble to the surface. "How?"
"Rehab is like a training center, so there's a pool. We go step by step, each week a bit further. Toes first, until where I'm at now." A pink tint rose on Katya's cheeks. "It's embarrassing at times, cause she's literally holding my hand."
A disbelieving chuckle escaped Natasha's lips before she could stop it. "Embarrassing or not, clearly it's working." She slowly shook her head, a smile growing on her face. "You scared the shit out of me, walking into the pool like that. A warning would have been nice."
Katya chuckled softly, happiness glistening in her eyes. "I wanted to surprise you. I did."
Again, Natasha shook her head. Her wife was such a fighter. She could have just accepted that this fear was a part of her, that she would never swim again, but instead Katya chose to look that fear dead in the eye and say, 'I've beaten stronger enemies than you'. 
"Honey, I'm so proud of you," she whispered, the emotions thick in her voice. If she allowed herself to think about this too hard, tears would well up in her eyes. "I can't imagine it's easy."
The shy redness in Katya's face grew darker. "I had so many panic attacks in the beginning," she admitted. "Now it's going quite well."
"That's why you were suddenly so tired when you came back from sessions," Natasha realized, things starting to fall into place. Panic attacks of any kind took such a toll on the body. And again, Katya endured all of it alone. "I wondered what was going on."
Guilt flashed across Katya's blue eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I felt this was something I needed to do on my own."
"No need to apologize," Natasha brushed it off. She completely understood. If Katya had told her, then there would be some sort of outside pressure or expectations. "Honestly, I'm impressed at how well you managed to hide it."
A sly smile overtook Katya's features. "I didn't forget all my tricks." She pushed herself tighter against Natasha's front, and the redhead was just about to give in to the not-so-subtle signs, her gaze flickering down to Katya's lips, when a loud voice called out behind her.
"Mom?! You're in the pool! How are you in the pool?!" Maya stood in the exact same spot as Natasha had before, her eyes bulging out of her head.
Katya chuckled wholeheartedly. "A whole load of stubbornness." She glanced at Natasha, her face showing that this little experiment had taken its toll on her mentally. "I would like to get out now, though." 
Before she could blink, Natasha swept her off her feet, hoisting her up with a firm grip on the back of her thighs.
"Nat!"
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wandasslut3000 · 1 year ago
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Thank you for saving me
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Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!reader
Warnings: PTSD, guns, mentions of blood, death, crying, nightmares, panic attack, fluff, comfort, reassurance, hints towards depression and anxiety.
WC: 1.1k
                ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Natasha is in the training room, focusing solely on a punching bag and not paying attention to her surroundings. Her hands don't have any wraps, beating the object with her bare fists.
She notices blood shining from her knuckles but doesn't bare it to mind, repeatedly throwing jabs at the leather material.
Suddenly, she hears someone clear their throat from behind her, making her turn around to see who it could be. She's finds herself face to face with Dreykov, a smug expression on his lips. Her eyes widened.
How was this possible? She'd killed him years ago.
"What the hell are you doing here?" She seethes, making a running attempt to attack the man, but the moment she makes contact with him, he's gone.
As if he'd vanished into thin air.
Natasha looks around frantically, trying to understand what was happening.
"What the fuck." She mumbles to herself. In the corner of her eye, she notices a flicker. She looks towards it and sees a small white light flashing in the small window of a door.
She runs up to it, opening it quickly. The moment she walks through it, she's greeted with a sense of uneasiness. She's no longer in the compound; inspecting the room, her eyebrows shoot up at the familiarity of the area.
She's back in the red room.
"No," She whispers out loud. "It can't be, that's impossible." She shakes her head and buries her face into her hands.
"Pathetic" She hears Dreykov grunt in dissatisfaction. "You've become weak Natalia" he says and she drops her hands to look at him, shock and confusion written on her features.
Dreykov starts to walk up to her, circling around her and eyeing her with disgust.
"Is it the girl that's done this to you? Made you all soft and feeble."
"What?"
"I'm talking about your 'partner'. Ms. Y/l/n isn't it? Beautiful woman by the way." He chuckles evilly, and Natasha knuckles start to sting, making her hiss.
"How do you know about Y/n?"
Her question is answered when two women walk in, dragging you out in front of her. You're covered in dark bruises and your own blood, the tears in your eyes making her heart clench.
"We have our ways, you're well aware of this." He smirks and Natasha feels tears start to prick in her eyes, her throat tightening at the sight of you.
"Don't you fucking dare." She says, but her voice comes out barely a whisper. She gets closer to you, but is stopped when she sees Dreykov pull out a gun.
"No!" She yells.
"Take one more step and this distraction will die." He threatens and Nat hears you let out a small whimper.
"N- Nat- it's ok" You tell her, trying to ignore the severity of the moment, and she shakes her head.
"Look how sweet," he taunts you "Trying so hard to act big and strong, we both know you're trembling in fear." Nat looks back at you as her tears fall from her face without her control.
"Don't hurt her!" She yells and he moves the gun to your temple making her pled. "Please!"
"Natasha" She looks into your eyes, noticing the glint of sadness in them. "I- I love you"
That's the last thing you say to her before the trigger is pulled, blood splattering onto Natasha's face as you fall to the ground.
"NO!" She screams at the top of her lungs, running to pull your lifeless body into her arms.
"Y-Y/n? Baby- baby please" She grabs your hand and moves it to cup her face, leaning into your touch, her eyes shut as she feels the warmth drain from you.
"No, no, no, this can't be happening, I need you to be alive ok? Please..." She cries in denial as she pulls you into her chest, sobbing as she places her head on-top of yours, rocking slowly back and forth.
"Like I said... pathetic." Drekov spits before throwing the gun into the floor and walking away. The two women following behind him, leaving Natasha with your limp body in her arms.
You're awoken when you feel her squirm and shake in your shared bed. Her voice distraught as she mumbled in her sleep.
"It's all my fault."
You notice her erratic breathing and sweaty body, her bare skin shining at the moisture.
She's having a nightmare.
"Natty?" You call but she doesn't hear you, tears forming in her closed eyes as she tosses and turns..
"Nat." You try again, sitting up, concern drawing onto your features as you tap her shoulder.
"Natasha!" Her eyes widen as she jolts awake, looking around like a frightened animal before making eye contact with you.
The moment she sees you, she practically jumps into your arms. "You're- you're ok.." She cries into your chest.
"I am, I'm alright." You confirm as you rub her exposed back while she lets out heartbreaking sobs. "Shhh, I'm right here." You whisper, gliding your fingers into her dark red locks.
"I- I'm so sorry" She sniffles, pulling back, wiping the tears on her face with the back of her hand, and you look down at her confused.
"For what? You did nothing wrong."
"I woke you up over a stupid dream." she shrinks.
"Hey, don't say that. I'm glad you did." You tuck a bit of her hair behind her ear. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
She pauses for a moment, debating whether she should, but a sigh leaves her lips as she shakes her head. "It's just.. something bad happened to you and I.." her voice drifts as she feels the tears return, making you cup her face and stroke her cheeks with your thumb.
"I couldn't save you."
"You already have, baby" You tell her. "You've saved me more times than I can count."
"How?" She sounds so small, your own tears forming at the thought of her feeling so helpless.
"Everytime you kiss me and remind me of your love for me. Everytime you call me 'moya lyubov' or 'dorogoya'. Everytime I wake up next to your beautiful face."
You grab her hand and intertwining your fingers together you continue.
"You're the reason I'm alive today." You admit, pecking her lips.
"Thank you for saving me" You place a long kiss on her forehead as you pull her to lay back down with you.
Natasha cuddles into you, feeling content and safe in your embrace. She presses a kiss at the column of your neck before you both drift back to sleep.
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grain-crain-drain · 7 months ago
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Caveira uses her knife. She uses it really well and that has been her trademark since she proved her use, or more like she was 'approved' to be of use for the public's favour. Hence in Rainbow, it became her job to interrogate the OPFOR to fess up where the rest of enemies are, forcing them to betray their teammates. It was a simple job, an honest work in both figurative and literal sense. 
However, there are no more terrorists in hideous white masks. She plays the battle with her colleagues, her hand holding rubber replicas of a dull blade that have microchips that only works when she rubs it against the opposing operators. Why and how? For safety measures. The friction supposedly creates the necessary electricity to activate the wireless signal that's connected to the microchips inside of the attacking teams' uniforms, which automatically sends a live feedback to her team on the surviving attackers' whereabouts. Terribly smart. Incredibly boring. She was scaring no one. Her targets don't say anything much. Zero communications, nil the fun. 
That doesn't stop her from saying her usual lines. She is allowed to have some fun by slitting the throat of whoever she subdued and emulate the process of onsight interrogation. Today does the same with Twitch, the careless French who has been crouching behind a table while controlling the shock drone. Caveira hasn't seen anybody within proximity, so she holds her luison at aim. In no time Twitch is rendered incapacitated and freshly ready to be feasted upon.
"It's just you and me now." Caveira sits on the woman's back and puts the rubber knife under the chin covered by a balaclava. 
Instead of grunting in pain, Twitch looks up at her captor with a twinkle in those emerald eyes. "Is it now? Then- uh, what was it? Oh, yes." She lets out a soft cough, almost akin to a chuckle. "Fly with me, gah-ching-ya."
"What?" Beyond confused and slightly perplexed at the butchered pronunciation, Caveira crinkles her nose. "What's that? What the hell are you saying?"
"Gah-ching-ya. Like, this character says it from cartoon animation, and he says it so charmingly because he's supposed to be this handsome Brazilian hunk who takes ladies' hearts-"
"You mean gatinha." Caveira scoffs, slightly amused at how she is still sitting on this woman while giving her a language lesson. "You're calling me cute, do you realise that?"
Twitch's neck cannot turn any further, but she seems to be doing absolutely all she can to focus on Caveira. "I thought it'd brighten your day."
"Do I look like I need to be pleased," Caveira leans down, asserting her dominance and fear on such a plucky individual, "by someone who I'm pinning down on?"
"Yes." The jovial attitude remains, and yet Twitch sounds firm and serious. "Because you looked unhappy. Like you're doing a chore. I'm not telling you to enjoy work, but it's a lot more bearable when we find some joy in what we do, right? I wanted to help, just a little."
It simply won't do. Caveira frowns, even harder to force both corners of her lips down. The face paint hides the change on her cheeks that's glowing warmer than before. Flustered? Embarrassed? Surprised? She pulls the blade up, pressing it against Twitch's neck. With the swiftest flick, she executes the action that triggers livefeed that locates the remaining attackers and leaps up. She needs to leave before anybody else finds them. There are jobs to do; chasing, shooting and winning. None of those involve her wanting to ask - no - interrogate Twitch any further. Even more so when she can't guarantee her questions to be strictly professional.
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ronancebyler · 1 year ago
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Ronance headcanons?
oh my goodness of course i do hehehehe (if you cant tell I love them)
i am ignoring the canon plot and using the bits that are convenient to me because I do what I want
Before Robin realized she liked Nancy, she truly didn't understand the deep level of fury she felt against Jonathan. It made no sense because they were friends and she had so much fun with him! Except whenever him and Nancy were together suddenly she had the urge to rip her hair out
Nancy figured her feelings out before Robin did. I know this is controversial and I do agree Robin fell first Nancy fell harder. However, I think the fear of falling for someone who she loves and cares for very much who if Nancy finds out Robin could lose her both from being a lesbian and for being in love with her, just manifests in denial. This is also compounded by the fact that she's convinced she likes Vickie who conveniently is out of reach and (presumed by Robin) straight, so if Vickie wasn't into her she wouldn't be risking as much since she's not planning to confess in the first place
Nancy on the other hand very quickly figured it out. After losing Barb, her fear manifested less in denial and more as an overdrive of all her emotions because if she doesn't figure it out quickly she might lose Robin before she could even say a word, so the moment she falls she figured it out then and there. She doesn't want another situation where she didn't tell a person she loves how much they mean to her
that night she had a panic attack that was BRUTAL like she sobbed for hours realizing she's probably going to have to choose between being true to herself and a relationship with her parents. she already knew she liked girls, she figured it out after barb's death, but liking someone new felt so tangible. robin heard her crying and didn't ask, just sat with her for the rest of the night tracing her thumb in circles on her palm
A fluffier one: Nancy plans to confess but Robin does it before she does on accident. Like she's just talking about journalism and how much she enjoys investigative journalism and Robin is just like "I'm in love with you." My assumption is that Robin had already come out to her beforehand but she was just horrified. Nancy was shocked but then was like "you beat me to it <3"
Nancy had not come out to Robin yet, she was planning to do it with her confession, and she had already talked to Eddie (platonic soulmates edancy lover till I die) and talked to Steve so she was prepared but Robin was just FLABBERGASTED
this girl has the most godawful gaydar known to mankind so despite nancy staring at her with heart eyes on a daily basis she was in shock
hAND KISSES I WILL NOT STOP WITH THE NANCY GIVING HAND KISSES HC
wrist kisses too her favorite thing to do is hold robin's fingers or pulse against her lips and just feel her warmth
robin is really warm, unreasonably so, and nancy is really cold
they both love shoving their noses into each others neck and just breathing in each others smells
robin loves rubbing the fact that she's dating nancy fucking wheeler into people's faces
"you're better at me then this???? well I pulled nancy wheeler stevie!! and I actually kept her unlike you so shut up"
her and eddie are constantly at war at who her favorite person is
"you already have stevie this is MY emotional support comphet fruit"
robin hangs over her shoulders while she writes and just reads her words
there was a solid bit of time that robin thought eddie and nancy were together. she accidentally asked them and triggered the longest giggle battle she has ever seen seen
bisexual nancy or lesbian nancy, she's filled with so much comphet
fully convinced that romantic feelings for guys and platonic feelings for girls felt the same
sometimes she feels guilty and feels like she's 'replacing' barb but the feeling lessens by the day
robin gets anxiety attacks every once in a while and nancy knowing exactly what to do when it happens really calms her down. like it reminds her that the person she loves is the most capable ever
robin loves nuzzling herself into nancy's stomach because cold and nice
poor, poor steve. the amount of rants he's heard from both sides
"nancy is so amazing and cool!" "robin is so pretty when she talks <3"
Mostly Robin for obvious reasons but jfc it's concerning at this point
that poor man needs to start charging per hour at this point
I will never shut up if I keep going so I'll cut it off right here.
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luxintrus · 2 years ago
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Two sides of the same coin (3/?)
One victory, one loss, a Ying and a Yang. The difference in outcome of a single event can send ripples throughout the length of one's life, and this one was no different.
The time is: Minus Eighty-four days. A loud bang echoed fear through both of the phoenixes hearts. And another. And another. Both of them rushed to grab their pet fish, desperately searching for a bucket to put them in. They got to the door. One sees a few deepslate tiles. The other, a mound of volcanic glass. They both try to break through anyways, but only one succeeds.
The time is: Two Hours after the World's Faire. The fields of spawn burn green, but the hate burns brighter tonight, as friends turn to enemies, and the server is once again split in half. Two swords bang against eachother, with each hit holding less hesitation than the last. Confusion turns to anger. Lux looks towards Nox, unable to understand how her closest ally is so willing to take the last thing she cares about. Diansu comes from behind Lux, but she hears his footsteps and turns to kick him into the ground. "I thought you got what you wanted! Why are you doing this?!" Lux yells between sword hits, with her entire body weight going into every strike. "I tried to give you peace! And you blew it all by siding with that bastard! Can't you see he's manipulating you?" Nox exclaims while skillfully blocking her attacks, stalling for time as they wait for Diansu to get back up. No response. Nox can tell Lux is getting more and more aggressive, as she's purposefully trying to aim for their jugular. "As soon as RAT gets back, I'm getting rid of him for good, no matter if you try get in my way or not. If you won't let me give you a better life I'll have no choice but to shove peacetimes down your fucking throat!" Nox yells, trying to desperately dodge Lux's quick and forceful blows, but to no avail. Lux catches Nox off guard by grabbing her anchor with her other hand and using it to throw Nox's sword out of their hands. Lux has Nox up against a tree, and Diansu is barely getting up. Is this it?, Nox thinks to themselves.
Nox sees part of Lux's soul die in her expression as she seemingly goes in for a killing blow. She misses horribly. Nox can't tell if Lux gave up fighting or is too drunken with rage, but it doesn't matter to them anymore. Suddenly, a shock worth ten thousand volts hits Lux from behind. "You're really great at trying to kill your loved ones, Lux.", Diansu says as he electrocutes Lux, forcing her to step away from Nox. As Lux is focused on striking Diansu, he throws his Cheirosiphon towards Nox. They catch it, and pull the trigger.
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khande11 · 5 months ago
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Millie Winchester- Season 1
Faith- 2
Sam and Millie were in the hospital after the incident. Millie was at the reception desk while Sam was talking with the cops.
"Ma'am, I'm so sorry to ask. There doesn't seem to be any insurance on file." The receptionist told Millie.
"Right. Uh, ok." Millie stuttered, still slightly in shock, and grabbed a card from her wallet.
"Okay, Miss Burkovitz." 
"Look, uh, we can finish this up later." One of the cops said to Sam.
"No, no, it's okay. We were just taking a shortcut through the neighbourhood, and our windows were rolled down. We heard some screaming when we drove past the house, and we stopped. Ran in." Sam explained.
"And you found the kids in the basement?"
"Yeah."
"Well, thank God you did."
"Sam." Millie called. Sam looked at his little sister, who nodded at the doctor walking towards them.
"Excuse me." Sam said to the cops.
"Sure. Thanks for your help." The cops replied as Sam caught up with Millie so they could talk to the doctor.
"Hey, Doc, is he-" Millie started, nervously.
"He's resting." The doctor reassured her.
"And?" Sam probed.
"The electrocution triggered a heart attack. Pretty massive, I'm afraid. His heart... it's damaged."
"How damaged?"
"We've done all we can. We can try and keep him comfortable at this point. But, I'd give him a couple of weeks, at most, maybe a month."
"No." Millie said, shaking her head. "No. That's not... He's not..."
"There's got to be something you can do, some kind of treatment." Sam said, seeing his sister struggling to finish her sentences.
"We can't work miracles. I really am sorry." The doctor apologised.
Millie gulped, and seeing the tears beginning to form in Sam's eyes, she swiftly grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him in the direction of Dean's hospital room, making sure to rub comforting circles on the back of his hands despite the fear she was feeling.
When they got to Dean's room, they saw he was watching TV. His skin was pale and there were dark circles under his eyes.
"Have you ever actually watched daytime TV?" Dean weakly asked. "It's terrible."
"We talked to your doctor." Sam told him.
"That fabric softener teddy bear. Ooh, I'm gonna hunt that little bitch down."
"Dean." Millie murmured, wanting to seriously talk about the situation. Dean looked up and noticed the sad expressions on both his younger siblings' faces and smiled sympathetically.
"Yeah." Dean sighed, turning the TV off. "All right, well, looks like you're gonna have to leave town without me."
"What are you talking about? We're not gonna leave you here." Sam muttered in disbelief.
"Hey, you better take care of that car. Or, I swear, I'll haunt your ass. And Millie, this doesn't mean you get to ride up front. You know you get car sick, I'm not having you puke in there."
"I don't think that's funny." Millie said, shaking her head.
"Oh, come on, it's a little funny." Dean smirked, but sighed when he noticed Sam looking away to fight his tears and Millie chewing on her lip, which he knows she does when she's trying not to cry.
"Look, Sammy, Mil, what can I say, guys, it's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw. That's it, end of story."
"Don't talk like that, alright?" Millie snapped.
"We still have options." Sam agreed.
"What options? Yeah, burial or cremation. And I know it's not easy. But I'm gonna die. And you can't stop it." 
"Watch us." Sam told his brother.
***************
Back at the Winchesters' hotel room, Millie was reading through the pages of research about heart care, trying to find anything to help her brother. She even looked into some supernatural research, where she had found something about demon deals, but did not think Dean would allow her to even consider something like that. Meanwhile, Sam was trying to ring their dad, to tell him about Dean.
"This is John Winchester. I can't be reached. If this is an emergency, call my son, Dean, 866-907-3235, or my daughter Millie, 785-205-46688. They can help."
"Hey, Dad. It's Sam. Uh... you probably won't even get this, but, uh... it's Dean. He's sick, and uh..." Sam glanced at Millie, who was watching him with a heartbroken look. "The doctor says there's nothing they can do. Um.... but, uh, they don't know the things we know, right? So, don't worry, cause Millie and I we're, uh... we're gonna do whatever it takes to get him better. Alright... just wanted you to know."
Sam hung up and began chewing on his fingernails. Millie quickly got up from her bed and sat next to him, wrapping an arm around his back and resting her head on his back. A knock at the door caught their attention. When Millie opened it, she was shocked to see Dean leaning against the frame.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Millie asked, shocked that he was here, but happy to see him.
"I checked myself out." Dean explained.
"Are you crazy?" Sam asked, as Dean hobbled into the room.
"Well, I'm not going to die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot." Dean shrugged, as his siblings huffed a laugh. 
"You know, this whole 'I laugh in the face of death' thing? It's crap." Sam told Dean. "We can see right through it."
"Yeah, whatever, dude. Have you even slept? You look worse than me." Dean retorted, looking at Sam, then turned his attention to Millie. "And you've been pulling on your hair. You know, you're going to go bald soon enough."
"Shut up." Millie scoffed, helping Dean into a chair. "We've been scouring the Internet for the last three days. Calling every contact in Dad's journal."
"For what?"
"For a way to help you." Sam explained. "One of Dad's friends, Joshua, he called me back. Told me about a guy in Nebraska. A specialist."
"You two aren't going to let me die in peace, are you?" Dean questioned.
"We're not going to let you die, period. We're going." Millie told him.
***************
The siblings drove along a gravel road, towards a white tent in a field. People were making their way to the tent too, most of them using walking frames or being helped by others. Millie got out of the car and opened the door for Dean, while Sam ran round to help him out of the car. Dean looked around and noticed a sign reading 'The Church of Roy Le Grange. Faith Healer. Witness The Miracle'.
"I got you." Sam assured him, trying to help him out of the car, while Millie gripped Dean's hand that was holding on to the door.
"I got it." Dean snapped, pushing Sam away. "Man, you two are a couple of lying bastards. Thought you said we were going to see a doctor."
"I believe I said a 'specialist'." Sam retorted. "Look, Dean, this guy's supposed to be the real deal."
"I can't believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent."
"Reverend LeGrange is a great man." An elderly woman passing by told him.
"Yeah, that's nice." Dean snarked.
"I have a right to protest." An angry man argued with a cop. "This man is a fraud. And he's bilking all these people out of their hard-earned money."
"Sir, this is a place of worship. Let's go. Move it." The cop responded.
"I take it he's not part of the flock." Dean commented.
"Well, when people see something they can't explain, there's controversy." Sam argued.
"I mean, come on, guys, a faith healer?"
"Maybe it's time to have a little faith, Dean."
"You know what I've got faith in? Reality. Knowing what's really going on."
"How can you be a sceptic? With the things we see everyday?"
"Exactly. We see them, we know they're real."
"But if you know evil's out there, how can you not believe good's out there, too?"
"Because I've seen what evil does to good people."
"Maybe God works in mysterious ways." A young woman turned and smiled at Dean.
"Maybe he does." Dean smiled, checking the woman out. "I think you just turned me around on the subject."
"Yeah, I'm sure." The woman laughed.
"I'm Dean. This is Sam and Millie." Dean introduced, shaking the woman's hand.
"Layla. So, if you're not a believer, then why are you here?"
"Well, apparently my brother here believes enough for both of us." Dean answered, not referring to Millie as he hadn't heard how she felt about the topic.
"Come on, Layla. It's about to start." An older woman said, placing her arm around Layla to lead her into the tent. The two smiled at the siblings and headed inside.
"Well, I bet you she can work in some mysterious ways." Dean smirked, before noticing the expectant look on Sam's face, and sighed. "Sam..."
"Sam, why don't you go save us some seats?" Millie suggested. Sam looked at Dean, then at Millie, before nodding and heading inside. Millie then turned her attention to Dean.
"Millie, come on. Do you really believe this guy?" Dean asked.
"I don't know. But what I do know is when we heard about the faith healer I finally saw some hope in Sam's eyes." Millie explained, making Dean look at the ground, ashamed. "You're our brother. Think about the lengths you would go to if it was one of us in your place. I mean, what's the worse that could happen? Just... give this to Sam. And me."
Dean looked into his sister's pleading eyes, then let out a dramatic sigh. Millie smirked, leading Dean into the tent. Dean looked around the tent and noticed the security camera in the corner.
"Yeah, peace, love and trust all over." They looked around and spotted Sam near the front, where he had saved them seats. Dean groaned in annoyance and tried to take a seat near the back, but Millie was quick to stop him. "Don't! What are you doing? Let's sit here."
"Sam wants us to sit up front." Millie told him.
"What? Why?"
"Come on."
"Oh, come on, Millie."
"You alright?" Millie checked as she tried to help him.
"This is ridiculous. I'm good, dude." Dean insisted, gently pushing her hands away, as he knew that this was just her natural caring side, rather than Sam's babying routine.
"You take the aisle." Sam told Dean, standing up so Millie could squeeze past him. Sam went to help Dean into his seat, but Dean raised his hand, irritated.
On stage, a blind man wearing sunglasses, who the siblings assumed was Roy Le Grange, was helped to the lectern by a woman.
"Each morning, my wife, Sue Ann, reads me the news." Roy began. "Never seems good, does it? Seems like there's always someone committing some immoral, unspeakable act."
While the reverend was speaking, Millie noticed an old wooden cross with a circle on top on the table.
"But, I say to you, God is watching."
"Yes he is." The crowd murmured.
"God rewards the good, and He punishes the corrupt."
"Yes!"
"It is the Lord who does the healing here friends. The Lord who guides me in choosing who to heal by helping me see into people's hearts."
"Yeah, and into their wallets." Dean muttered to his siblings.
"You think so, young man?" Roy asked, having heard Dean.
"Sorry." Dean apologised.
"No, no. Don't be. Just watch what you say around a blind man, we've got real sharp ears." Roy joked, making the crowd laugh. "What's your name, son?"
"Dean."
"Dean. I want- I want you to come up here with me." Roy requested, as the crowd cheered.
"No, it's ok." Dean awkwardly responded.
"What are you doing?!" Sam whispered.
"You've come here to be healed, haven't you?" Roy asked.
"Well, yeah, but uhh..." The crowd clapped encouragingly. "...maybe you should just pick someone else."
"Oh, no. I didn't pick you, Dean. The Lord did."
"Get up there!" Sam told him, excitedly. Dean turned to his little sister for help. She smiled sympathetically for him, but nodded to the stage, eyeing Sam. Dean reluctantly got up and moved towards the stage, with Roy's wife helping him.
"You ready." Roy asked.
"Look, no disrespect, but, uh, I'm not exactly a believer."
"You will be, son. You will be. Pray with me, friends." Roy announced, and the crowd raised their arms, joining hands with each other. Roy lifted his hands in the air, then placed on hand on Dean's shoulder and another on the side of his head. "Alright now. Alright now."
Dean's eyes glazed over, and he sunk to the ground on his knees. Dean wobbled as his eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed on the stage floor.
"Dean!" Sam and Millie yelled, running towards their brother. The crowd cheered as Sam and Millie got either side of him, trying to lift him up. Dean's eyes burst open and he gasped for breath.
"Say something!" Millie pleaded, panic in her eyes. Dean blinked groggily and looked up. Standing beside Roy was a tall man in a suit, with white hair and paled, wrinkled skin. The man watched Dean then turned and vanished, while Dean watched on in shock.
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wrestlersownmyheart · 1 year ago
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“Chances Are” Ch. 16 (Book 2 In the “Chances” Series) Finn Bálor X OC
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Pairing: Finn Bálor X Female OC Summary: After a traumatic childhood and a murder attempt that left her with a heart condition, Miracle Seanoa wants nothing more than to find some peace and fulfillment in her life. Working as a writer for WWE, she's shocked when Stephanie McMahon takes a gamble on her skills and assigns her to a new RAW roster member. None other than Finn Bálor—the man who'd long ago saved her life and captured her heart.
Finn Bálor left his career as a police officer behind in order to chase his true dream of becoming a professional wrestler. Working incredibly hard within NXT, he soon finds himself drafted to Monday Night RAW. He's shocked to see Miracle again, but even more shocked is he to see what a stunning woman she's become.
However, someone else has had his eye on Miracle for a long while. With his infatuation turning to a deep, dark obsession, he's not going to give up on her easily. Finn will have to resort to his past skills as a cop, to protect the woman he loves.
Because if her weakening heart doesn't kill her, her stalker just might... Disclaimers: I own nothing or anyone associated or affiliated with WWE. I own only the original characters. This is just a fictional story that came from my imagination.
Chapter Content & Trigger Warnings: I hate to spoil my story, but I don't want to cause anyone any unnecessary pain either. There will be an attempt at a forced miscarriage in this chapter. If that is a trigger for you, you might want to skip over this chapter.
Also, this is a short chapter folks, I didn't want it to be, but I had to do it this way so I could keep the outline organized right.
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Chapter 16
Finn was not far from turning off the country road onto the freeway when his phone rang. Upon seeing that it was Miracle, he answered the call.
"Hello, love," He said in way of greeting, grinning from ear to ear. "Miss me already?"
"Fi-Finn… Finn…" Her weak voice cried out to him. "I love you… Should have listened… to y-you…"
His smile faded, and instantly he knew…
The attacker had found her.
Already pulling a drastic U-turn in the road, Finn spoke frantically into the phone.
"Baby, what's happened? Is he there?"
"So sorry…"
The line rustled and then a male voice spoke.
"Because of you she's gone."
The line clicked and the call ended.
Finn cursed and pressed down on the accelerator even harder, speeding for the cabin. Hoping a cop wouldn't see him driving like a bat out of hell and pull him over-because at this point the cop would just have to follow him all the way to the cabin-he flew over the graveled road and prayed the whole way that he wasn't too late.
He brought the phone up so he could see it clearly and redialed MIracle's number.
RIng.
Ring.
Ring.
"No!" He tried again.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Pocketing the phone with one hand and driving with the other, he sped even faster down the road.
Finally. Finally, he could see the yard and instantly made out Miracle lying in a small heap. He didn't even bother with parking in the driveway. He came to a rough stop in the grass and had barely shut off the engine before he was getting out of the vehicle.
"MIRACLE!" He shouted, running to the small bundle on the ground. "MIR-" He cut off as he made it to her and instantly saw all the blood. "No…" he uttered. "No. Not her blood. It can't be her blood. It's too much…"
Coming out of his shocked stupor, he crouched down next to her and took in the state of her.
She was unconscious or dead, he didn't know which, and was covered in blood.
"No, No, No, No , NO!"
His words turned to a shout as he checked her pulse, desperate to see if she was alive. A slow, thready thump met his fingers. He took a closer look at her injuries. Saw the numerous stab wounds.
"NOOO!"
He frantically reached for her neck, checking her pulse. A slow, thready thump met his fingers. "Miracle, baby…" He reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone and instantly dialed 9-1-1.
"9-1-1… What is your emergency?"
"I need an ambulance. My girlfriend has been stabbed multiple times. In the chest and stomach." He forced himself to not think about what that could mean for the baby. He quickly gave the address and started to hang up, when he heard the 9-1-1 operator speak up.
"Sir, we already have an ambulance heading for that location."
He was thoroughly confused, but grateful to hear help was on the way. "Good. Thank you." With that, he hung up. He instantly heard a siren in the vicinity. And wanting to get Miracle treated as soon as possible he lifted her into his arms and began carrying her limp frame toward the siren.
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bigfan-fanfic · 3 years ago
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Wake Up (Batdad Fanfic)
Oh god please write a fic about that time Damian’s mom stabbed batdad and he had to get surgery and healing for his appendix and the poison I AM BEGGING
Trigger warning for discussions and descriptions of injury, blood, etc.
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"That was highly foolish." are the first words you hear when you awaken.
You struggle a little to remember where you are.
Gotham Mercy Hospital, in a private convalescent room, waiting.
You've been stabbed.
Bruce was incapacitated with the League of Shadows. With Ra's. And Talia had come into the Batcave to take Damian back.
She cajoled you, thanking you for taking care of her son and her beloved, but it was time for you to get out of her way now. It was Damian that attempted to defend you.
"No, Mother. I will not let you hurt him."
And that had made your heart soar, that you had made such a mark on Damian in so short a time - and considering only a few weeks before, he had been actively trying to kill you, that was quite the turnaround.
Talia sneered. "I thought you were stronger than this, son. I did not think you would go so soft so quickly."
Damian looked as though he had been slapped, and was frozen in horror as Talia approached.
"Very well. I can always make more."
Damian couldn't move, even as Talia approached, her blade already impregnated with venom.
Thankfully (?), you've been involved in enough crises that you can keep your head. The League of Shadows prefers lethality, and so the most typical poison they use on their weapons is tetrodotoxin derived from blowfish glands, which has no known antidote. Even nonlethal doses generally result in loss of motor control, making it easy to incapacitate an affected victim.
Tetrodotoxin works quickly, and only requires a small dose to be lethal when administered in an injection. However, when stabbed with a poisoned weapon, it's more likely the tainted blood will bleed out rather than introduce the toxin to the bloodstream.
Gotham Mercy has a dedicated on-call trauma unit, started when the villainous attacks started getting more violent. They won't likely have to deal with tetrodotoxin poisoning, but they can be informed as they take care of a stab wound.
All of this occured in a flash and you threw yourself forward in the path of Talia's precision stab. It struck at an odd diagonal, running you through slightly off center, a little above your hip.
You felt yourself rupture as Talia withdrew the blade in surprise, and you threw the smoke bomb that was lying on the supply dock.
Pain coursed through you as you felt Damian pull you towards one of the emergency exits, and you wondered when the shock would kick in.
Your brain was working on its own and already calling Gotham Mercy as Damian drove one of the cars, and informing the trauma unit of the emergency. You considered telling them about the tetrodotoxin, but considering you weren't feeling any of the telltale symptoms, including loss of motor function (allowing for the general trauma of bleeding out), so you didn't bother.
Then you ended up passing out, finally, and woke up here.
Dick is passed out at your bedside. He's leaned against an also-unconscious Bruce, the two of them clearly having tried to stay awake for you. You think Jason is probably standing guard outside, and since Alfred isn't here, you believe he must be at home ensuring Tim doesn't break down.
"Foolish? Nah." Your voice croaks from lack of use. "Reckless, yes. Dangerous, undoubtedly. But it's never foolish for a dad to protect his kids."
"You were stabbed. Run through! And you nearly were poisoned. They needed to conduct an emergency appendectomy because Mother ruptured your appendix! All for a boy who has done nothing but hate you and insult you. And you're still calling me your kid?"
"Yeah, Damian, I am. Cause I care about you. Because you've had a rough lot in life so far, and I know better than most what it's like to have to grow up fast. I know what it's like to be left behind by your parents. Maybe you're right, and I'm not your dad. That's okay too. But you know what? That's your choice to make. When you're ready. You don't have to call me dad, or treat me like anything more than a legal guardian and caretaker. I'm always here for you, though."
Your heart aches as you watch Damian's stoic face crack. He cries, and he cries hard, and when you instinctively reach out, he collapses into your embrace, and you ignore the wince at the sudden jolt of movement.
It's going to be rough. But it's always been that way. There'll be ups and downs. But you're alive, and the boy crying into your chest who has known nothing but fear and death is being vulnerable, and you know that you both will be okay.
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thewriterowl · 3 years ago
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Owl do you have any hcs for Din and Anakin getting Luke to experience things he’s missed out on since being with palpatine? Like taking him to an orchestra performance (I feel like he would LOVE those) or a huge botanical garden or a zoo or just generally fun activities
I Hope you have a good day/night you’re amazing 🥰💫
Hello! :D Oh, I do! I'll need to be careful for not too many shared as I am still working a bit on these few chapters for Blooms but...
Every day Luke gets a trip to the garden. Even if it is storming, he at least gets to the doorway so he can see the flowers. Eventually, they make a small indoor garden for Luke to visit no matter the weather. It is built into the royal wing, possibly near the kitchen, so it is mostly little veggies and herbs for Luke to grow.
They take Luke to the archives and teaches him how to search for texts for him to check out or have downloaded on his tablet. He gets so many books about plants and gardening but also more about the history of everything. He was taught so little within the Empire and all of it was clear propaganda so learning about the life outside of it is amazing and keeps him entertained for hours. He is frightfully smart and absorbs things fast.
Through the books, he eventually comes across more with mechanics and he is obsessed. Maybe not as much as he is with plants but it is very close. Anakin is thrilled. He teaches Luke every day if possible on all sorts of engineering techniques and Luke loves every bit of it. Within about a month he is putting all sorts of things together.
This also triggers him to realizing he would love to fly. It takes a bit more convincing but Din and Anakin do take him on their respected ships (as the royal family they do have a nice selection) and Luke picks up how to fly most all of them easily. He seems to have a soft heart for a beat up X-Wing and the sleek NB-1 fighter. He gives both men heart attacks when he is able to pull scary flips and maneuvers after four lessons.
For sure he gets to go see and listen and feel live music. It would be a shock to his system who would not have had much experience with this except for the rare chance he was at an Empire day with a band that always scratched at his nerves and was just too loud. This is softer and sweeter and really touches him. He could listen to the music for hours.
Although there are many galaxy zoos that are well taken care of and good for the different species and the animals are cared for, the family is weary on taking him to zoos just yet. They're very cautious on anything that could potentially trigger him from the years he was kept caged. Eventually they do and explain to him what zoos even are and Luke is in love. He clearly loves animals and the animals clearly love him back--he and Grogu want a bantha and a rancor. Both Din and Anakin now have to figure out how to sneak these animals back and not get yelled at by everyone.
They go to Naboo so Luke can meet his family and see where his mother grew up and where she was buried. They go to Alderaan so he can hang out with Leia. They also go back to Tatooine so Luke can have a proper goodbye to this world and his aunt and uncle who died protecting him.
But they mostly keep him on Mandalore for the first year or two. It is just too terrifying for either men to let go of what happened and they feel better having him protected and safe on their planet. Luke doesn't complain too much as the planet has so much to offer him as well--and there are so many festivals that are happy and exciting and he's there with his family who keeps Luke happy and entertained that he doesn't really want off it either.
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skcolicity · 2 years ago
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ok, bear with me while I think out loud. after rewatching parts of season 3 up to Thea getting stabbed, I'm having to rework the season to line up with my fic. so I think everything will happen the way it did until episode 19, broken arrow, where things will diverge. first, when Ray approaches Felicity about that "I love you" in the hospital, Felicity remembers her mother's words about needing to make a choice, and she decides being with Ray while she's in love with Oliver is unfair to Ray. this isn't her choosing Oliver because to her understanding he's not an option at all. she's choosing not to be selfish with Ray, to let go of hanging onto him even though she can't really give him her heart. so she'll interrupt his babbling...
"Ray."
With that one word, Ray stops talking, and with a dejected sigh, he knows it's over. She opens her mouth to explain but he holds up his hand to stop her.
An awkward silence simmers between them.
He suddenly recalls a moment from before, when he confronted her about having feelings for Oliver. She had said yes, before she started backtracking that confession.
"It's because of Oliver, isn't it," he asks with a flat tone.
She doesn't say anything except, "I'm sorry."
...
Another thing that would change is: no metahuman. meaning no need to go to Ray for his help, no raylicity moments that would have been really awkward since they just broke up, so really that time is spent at verdant thinking and talking about getting Roy out of prison. Lance still interrupts them with the search warrant, and their base is outed. the team regroups at thea's loft.
(meanwhile, someone posing as scpd CSI but is actually Sarab in disguise plants something on the underside of Felicity’s desk which emits a silent blinking red light.)
Lance will approach Thea to tell her about Roy getting attacked, pulling her away from the rest of the crew even as he looks scornfully at them.
Thea will tell them what she learned after Lance leaves, triggering Oliver and Diggle's confrontation to happen the same way as in the show, Felicity will run out after him like the show but will instead read him in on their plan, against Roy's wishes, because that's the only way Oliver will stand down.
eventually Lance will come back hours later to tell Thea Roy was killed. Lance blames Oliver on his way out of course. Oliver will turn to Felicity and Diggle with indignation, but before he can ask if that was part of the plan, Diggle says they need to get back to verdant to talk about this.
and that's where they'll be (Thea included) when Roy shows back up. Felicity says she'll hack into the ME's report to say his body was already processed (so that no one is shocked to find the body gone), and goes to boot up her computer to do just that, but then she notices the blinking red light, which has been blinking slowly, when suddenly it starts blinking rapidly and she knows what's about to happen. Roy is closest to her, the other three are further away, so she tackles Roy just as her computer explodes and there's the origin point of my fic.
I'm probably not going to incorporate all this into the fic itself, but maybe a one shot prequel that'll be part of the series but outside the main fic.
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6rookie-writer0110 · 4 years ago
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Heaven is not waiting for me anymore
Clark Kent x Male!Reader Kent
Request - where y/n is the son of Clark and Lois from the injustice universe. He has kryptonite in his system where he is unable to use his powers because clark (injustice) made an example of him so he can show fear. After that he has been cold to others and distance with people including Barbara who he has feelings for but so much has happened. So he has to relay on martial art from training. with bruce, he also has a bat suit. He also have a deep hatred for his father (injustice superman).
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Earth 2- Injustice Universe
You lost your mother Lois because of the Joker. Your father Clark snapped, he became a different person. Now he is starting to kill criminals and doesn't care about anyone or you. He doesn't stand for hope anymore now he stands for destruction. You feel that you lost both of your parents, you don't wear the symbol of hope anymore.
You made a plan to stop your father. You didn't think fully out the plan, but you have kryptonite inside a gun. You are half Kryptonian and kryptonite is still your weakness.
You have been tracking your father, he is about to kill a criminal robbing a bank. But you stepped in and punched him in the face. Everyone saw what you did, they take out their phones and start to record. Now you and Clark start to fight each other.
“You are destroying everything! You are no god!!” You yelled.
“I am a God. Everyone bows down to me and you would bow down to me” Clark said.
You take out the gun, you pulled the trigger. But he used speed to grab the gun and there is one bullet left. Now he will make sure everyone will watch what he will do next. He has his hand around your throat, you are struggling to breathe and tears go down your face.
“Anyone who tries to disobey me or think they can kill me, this will happen!” Clark yelled.
He aimed the gun on your chest and pulled the trigger. Everyone is in shock at what happened, he throws you to the ground. You are in pain and you try to use your powers but can't. Barbara arrived at the scene, she used Batarang to distract him. He left and Barbara picked you up and takes you to the bat cave.
---
A week later...
You have been in a coma for a week, Barbara and Bruce have been taking care of you. You wake up and you see Barbara looking at a computer screen.
“What happened?” You asked.
She turns around and walked towards you.
“You have been in a coma for a week. The kryptonite was close to your heart. You lost a lot of blood and it was too much kryptonite in your system” Barbara said.
You touch your chest and you see the scar. You sighed and she gives you a cup of water.
“Thank you, Barbara. But I have to go” You said.
“Your father thinks you are dead. Don't do anything stupid, you almost died and if it happens again he would kill you” Barbara said.
“He needs to be stopped,” You said.
“I know. But he is stronger than you, you are thinking reckless” Barbara said.
You take out the iv from your arms and take off the hospital gown. She gave you a hoodie and sweat pants.
“Where are you going?” Barbara asked.
“Dont worry about me,” You said.
She watched you walk away and she called Bruce and told him what happened. You went to a rundown motel and you want to be alone. Your father thinks you're dead and he is still killing criminals, no one can stop him.
Days went by, you didn't leave the motel room for anything. Barbara didn't check up on you, she wanted to give you space. And she has been busy with Bruce designing a suit.
You are in bed watching tv, you hear a knock on the door but you don't get up. She starts to knock louder, but you don't move.
“Y/n! Open the door now” Barbara yelled.
You sighed heavily then got out of bed and opened the door.
“What!?” You yelled.
“Are you done with the pity party!?” Barbara asked.
“How did you find me?” You asked.
She walks in and you closed the door. The motel room is a dump.
“Wasn't hard. I put a tracker on the hoodie you left with. I know you still want to stop your dad, so come with me” Barbara said.
“Why should I? Plus he still thinks I'm dead” You said.
“To train. You are still weak if you went to fight him now well he will break like a stick” Barbara said.
“Fine,” You said.
You leave with Barbara, she took you to Bruce’s mansion. You and Barbara have feelings for each other, you told her, and you were going to ask her out but tragically struck. Her feelings for you haven't changed but she wants to be there for you. She wants you to open up to her but you won't.
“Y/n, how are you,” Bruce said.
“Why do you want me here?” You asked.
“To help you train and stop your father,” Bruce said.
“Okay,” You said.
---
Bruce and Barbara started to train with you in Martial arts. Today you are fighting against Bruce, Barbara, and the League of Assassins. Some are friends with Bruce and they agreed to train you. They are pushing your limits, they don't let you rest. Any mistake you make will let you know and make you train harder.
During the night, Bruce is training you with weapons. Barbara shows you how to use the weapons, you did struggle to fight with weapons. Bruce and the league of assassins easily knocked the weapons out of your hands.
After training Barbara would want to spend time with you, but you would lock yourself in the bedroom. She gives you space and she goes back to the bat cave.
“Here is your dinner, master y/n,” Alfred said.
“Thank you. You don't have to call me ‘master’, Alfred” You said.
“Master, y/n you shouldn't hide from the world. Yes, you are going through a tough time but that doesn't mean you can't be happy in the end. You should let yourself grieve for your mother, she was a wonderful woman and she was strong” Alfred said.
“I wish everything didn't change,” You said.
“We all feel the same way. But now you have a chance to create the life you want a new one. what would your mother say right now?” Alfred said.
What made you think what he said, he walks out of the room. You start to eat the food and keep thinking about what he said.
✯ ✬ ✫ ✬
A few weeks later...
Bruce and Barbara have been designing a suit for you. They finished with the suit and they watched you test out the suit. Last few weeks, you were training from dawn until the next day. You mastered fighting with weapons and learned new combat moves. You are still distant from Barbara, two days ago you got into a huge argument with her.
You are still in love with her but you want to protect her from your father. You don't want to see Barbara get hurt.
“What do you think of the suit?” Barbara asked.
You take off the helmet.
“I like it and I can move in it,” You said.
“You are okay with the symbol?” Bruce asked.
“I like it,” You said.
The suit is all black, the Batman symbol is red, the eyes are red, the gloves have sharp claws, and the suit protects you from kryptonite. Barbara and Bruce start to suit and you put the helmet back on.
---
You three found Bruce in the city, you stopped him from killing someone.
“Son, you came back from the dead” Clark said.
“This ends today,” You said.
“I see you are wearing a new symbol -”
“You ruined the legacy of being a Kryptonian!” You yelled.
He used heat vision to attack you but you dodged it. Now Clark is fighting you while Barbara and Bruce are trying to get the citizens away from the fight. Clark punched you and you hit the ground, he used speed to grab you by the neck.
“This time I will make sure you are dead,” Clark said.
“You are not the same father that I used to have. He is dead to me!” You yelled.
You took out, you tased him, and he lets you go. You and Clark used heat vision at the same time, you used more strength to not fall. You throw Batarang at him and it started to explode.
He fell then you start to punch him in the face over and over. All the anger you have for him starts to come out. You take out the kryptonite dagger and you try to stab but he has his wrapped around your hands.
“Y/n! Y/n don't kill him” Barbara yelled.
“He deserves to die!” You yelled.
“That is an easy escape for him! You are much better than him, don't become like him” Barbara said.
Something clicked in your mind.
“I want you to suffer until the day you die. I lost my mom and my father” You said.
You moved away from him and he starts to stand up. Bruce played a video of Lois on the big screen and starts to watch, you your father cry.
The moment where Clark held Lois before she died.
“I can't lose you” Clark cried.
“I will always love you, Clark. I will always remember you and y/n, please be there for each other. He is going need to you. Tell him, I love him...”
You start to cry and it would be the last time you hear her voice.
“Son, I am sorry for the chaos I caused,” Clark said.
“I don't believe you and I will never will. You killed my friend Shazam and many others. You are lucky I didn't kill you because of Barbara. This is the last time you will see me” You said.
You take out the Phantom Zone projector and you sent him to the Phantom Zone.
✯ ✬ ✫ ✬
Time Skip...
You and Barbara became an official couple. She makes you happy and you carrying boxes into her apartment. You are going to live with her and she is very happy about that.
You and Barbara sat on the couch and she gave you a peck on the lips.
“So happy that was the last box,” Barbara said.
“Now we have to unbox everything,” You said.
“How about we go get something to eat and we do it later?” Barbara said.
You kissed her on the lips.
“Sounds good to me,” You said.
Later, you and Barbara spend half of the night unboxing everything. You did use speed to do it faster which Barbara is happy about. You and Barbara would save the city together but you don't kill criminals who rob a store. You would kill if it's a life and death situation only.
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peachywrite · 4 years ago
Text
Before I Let You Go
Rohan Kishibe x JosukeSister!Reader & Protective Brother!Josuke
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Trigger Warning: violence, inappropriate stand use, mild suggestive themes
Josuke doesn't understand why his sister has been spending even more time with Morioh's Famous Mangaka.
Josuke sat himself down beside Koichi, the pair of friends awaiting the next delicious plate of specialty pasta Tonio was whipping up for them.
“You know, your sister has been hanging around Rohan quite a bit recently.” Koichi’s concern was evident in his tone of voice and the way he avoided eye contact with Josuke.
“What are you talking about? She just likes his art, is all. She’s always been into drawing and stuff since she was little.” Josuke tried to brush Koichi’s worries away, but he too was a bit suspicious of their sudden closeness.
Tonio returned with two heaping plates of authentic Italian pasta, smiling down as he placed each on the table. He gave a small bow and returned to the kitchen. Koichi poked at the new food with his fork, spinning it around as he began to speak.
“I mean, they’ve been hanging out with each other for a while now, but just recently it feels like something’s changed.” The two paused for a quick bite of their dishes and thought quietly to themselves, both suddenly coming to the same conclusion.
“Hey, Josuke. You don’t think your sister would ever date Rohan, right? What am I thinking, that’s a stupid question. It would never happen.” The shorter boy scratched his cheek nervously, staring down at his plate.
“I-I don’t know. She’s never had a boyfriend before. Rohan’s also too proud to date anyone, so we shouldn’t worry our heads over this, Koichi.” Josuke smiled at him, patting the gray-haired boy on the back to reassure him.
“I don’t know, it’s just… The other day, when I went over to return some photos to Rohan, I saw the two of them through the window. I couldn’t see exactly what they were doing, but it kinda looked like he was holding her hand? And placing a kiss on it? I don’t know though, the window was so high up, so I probably didn’t see anything.” Koichi’s voice wavered, the overwhelming silence from his friend concerning him.
He didn’t have the heart to look Josuke in the eyes at the moment, too afraid he may have let the young man down by not sharing this memory sooner. The dread in his heart outweighed his fears quickly, and Koichi looked up to see a Josuke imbued in the darkest aura imaginable. It reminded him of those terribly frightening spirits in the alley that tried to steal him that one day.
“Uh-Josuke? Is everything a-alright? I know I should have told you sooner, but I wanted to be a hundred percent sure about it before you could go off and beat up Rohan again.” Josuke silently nodded, pulling out his wallet and dropping enough to pay for both meals on the table as he scooted his chair in and began to leave.
“Josuke! We aren’t sure if they even are dating yet!” Koichi shouted.
Josuke turned around, a chilling smile spread across his face as he waved.
“No worries, Koichi. I’m off to find out. Sorry about leaving you, I’ll call Okuyasu to take my place while I’m out. I’ll see you later and tell you what I found out.”
All Koichi could do was stutter in surprise at Josuke’s changed demeanor.
Was he putting on a show to calm his nerves? Or was he actually thinking about how it would affect his sister if Rohan was dating her?
The boy returned to his meal, lost in thought, until a tired Okuyasu joined him at the table.
Josuke’s heart was conflicted. If y/n was really dating Rohan, that would mean she was probably in love with the mangaka. He knew his sister wore her emotions on her sleeve and would never fake a romance, but was that true for Rohan? Could he have used Heaven’s Door to make her love him?
He didn’t trust Rohan after what happened with the others, but he did save his life when they fought against Highway Star.
This is what conflicted him. Rohan had a good soul, but was he doing this because he truly loved y/n, or was this another trick to get back at him for the lost dice game or the partial burning of his mansion? Rohan was the kind of person to hold grudges for as long as he saw fit, so this frightened Josuke.
“You can tease and mess with me all you want, but as soon as you bring my sister into this, you’ve crossed the line.” He muttered under his breath, jogging to the café he knew the artist would probably be sitting at.
As he finally spotted the mangaka, enjoying a sip of tea between his quick sketches, he rushed past the hostess and right up to the table. Rohan was caught off guard, a bit frightened and prepared to use his stand until he saw the steak shaped head of hair.
“Josuke? You idiot, I almost attacked you. Why are you rushing me like an enemy?” He blew out his held breath and took another sip of tea.
Josuke pulled up a seat across from the artist, his hands neatly folded in front of him, eyes staring down as he tried to formulate the proper words without working himself up.
“Rohan, I heard from someone that you may be dating my sister. I just want to know if the rumor is true.” Rohan nearly spit out his cup of tea, the shock of the question taking him completely off guard.
After composing himself, the Great Rohan Kishibe began to sweat as he tried to decide whether he should divulge the truth. Y/n would want him to be honest, but he feared the beating Josuke would surely give him if he found out the two of you were dating.
“Your hesitation to answer is making me nervous, Rohan. You better speak up soon, or I’m gonna lose my patience.” The young delinquent spoke through gritted teeth.
“Fine. Yes, we are. We have been for at least a week now. I love her. It’s simple. Why are you asking me? You could have easily just gotten the same information from her.” Rohan took another sip of tea, hiding his face behind the cup as he tried to figure out how the young man would react.
Josuke’s hands reached out from across the table, grabbing Rohan by the collar and dragging him off to the side, so he could pull him in closer. The smashing of glass on the quiet block alerted the hostesses as they worriedly watched.
“Rohan-sensei! Do you need us to call the police?!” Shouted one of the waitresses, who had reached for her cellphone behind the counter.
“No, everything's alright. I can handle this.” Rohan waved her off, Josuke still dangling the man in the air.
“You better not be doing this to get back at me. I can take the teasing and the jabs at my intelligence, but I won’t let you make a mockery of my sister and her feelings.” Josuke lowered the man down, taking a breath to relax himself, then began to drag the manga artist off the café patio.
“Hey! Release me, you brute! Where are you taking me?!” Rohan struggled in his hold, trying to call Heaven’s Door out to control Josuke.
“We’re going to see y/n.” Rohan stopped fighting and instead calmly placed his hand on Josuke’s shoulder.
The boy stopped, turning around to meet Rohan’s stern face.
“I’ll go with you, just stop manhandling me.” Josuke stared into him, debating with himself, then let the manga artist go.
Rohan stumbled back to his feet, dusting himself off as he grumbled under his breath about how rude Josuke was being to him.
The two walked side by side towards the Higashikata residence. When they were nearly a block away, Josuke spotted you being dropped off by Jotaro. You waved goodbye to the older man, but turned around to face them after.
“Good grief.” Jotaro rolled his eyes with a sigh, leaning against the car as you spotted your brother and your boyfriend angrily walking toward you.
“What do you think is up with them?” You asked, curious as to why both seemed to be in foul moods.
“Looks like your brother found out who your boyfriend is. I’m only staying because I don’t want an unnecessary stand fight.” The marine biologist pouted to himself, annoyed.
You looked back at the pair, shaking your head in annoyance as well.
“I should have just told him from the start. I knew Rohan couldn’t keep quiet about this.” You motioned to the two of them to speed up, so you could talk.
As they reached you, Josuke grabbed onto Rohan again, dragging him by his collar with one hand.
“Why must you fling me around like a rag doll!? I already agreed to come with you!” Rohan shouted, squirming in Josuke’s death grip.
“Use Heaven’s Door on her.” Josuke mumbled to the mangaka.
All he could do was shake his head in response, his eyes wide at the order given to him by the delinquent. Suddenly, a second hand came up to grip the other side of Rohan’s collar, both now shaking him violently.
“I said use Heaven’s Door! I want to be sure you aren’t messing with her!” The tears that welled up in Josuke’s eyes shocked you.
You’d seen Josuke cry before, but these tears were different. He looked scared.
“Josuke, stop it! There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
You placed a hand on Josuke’s back, your touch pausing his tirade and causing him to drop his hold on the artist. Helping him up, you touch Rohan’s cheek and nod to him.
“Rohan, I give you permission to use Heaven’s Door on me right now.” He shook his head again, adamant about his refusal.
“I won’t use it on you. Not for that bastard or for you. It’s not right.” You could tell how upset this was making Rohan. He turned his head away from you, not allowing you to meet his gaze.
“Rohan, please. He’s just scared. Just this once. I’ll never ask for you to do this again.” He finally meets your eyes and sighs.
His hands carefully touch your cheek as he whispers Heaven’s Door. The pages on your face open up and prevent you from moving, but you happily look up at the man, reassuring him that you felt safe and accepted this. Josuke came from behind the artist, flipping through all your pages quickly, searching for any scribblings Rohan could have made.
A few minutes pass and Josuke is finally content with his search. He closes the book on your face and your movement returns to you.
“See. Everything was fine. I really do like him. A lot, actually.” You pinch Josuke’s cheek.
Josuke pulls you into a tight hug as you feel his stress melt away. The mangaka crosses his arms, an angry pout on his face. All you can do is sigh and return the hug.
“I just wanted to be sure. If you were to get hurt because of me, I don’t know how I’d live with that.” He squeezes you tighter, your breath leaving your body quickly from his sheer strength.
“Josuke, it’s fine! Trust me! Now let go, you're crushing me.” You squirm, but your brother refuses to budge.
“I don’t think I will. If I let go, you’re gonna go give Rohan a hug, and I don’t want to see that.” The boy then lifts you with little effort and attempts to run, but his plan is foiled when your stand manifests and wraps around his legs, keeping him from moving.
“I see how it is, y/n. Fine, go be with your boyfriend, but no lovey-dovey stuff.” Your vines unwrap his legs as he sets you down.
You give your brother one last hug and a smile, running into Rohan’s arms. He still looks upset, but when you nuzzle into his chest, his anger melts away.
“I’m sorry you had to do that. It had to happen, though, so don’t be too mad at me. I’ll make it up to you, promise.” You look up at him, still in his arms, he leaves a quick peck on your cheek followed by a hefty sigh.
“You’re lucky I’m such a forgiving man.”
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violetjedisylveon · 3 years ago
Text
Sick And Broken Pt. 1 - Diseased
Summary: I don't even know how to summarize this other than just Freyu has a mental breakdown (and Cid totally doesn't care about the batch more than she has to for buisness, totally.) So yeah.
Word count: 5k
Warnings: Trauma, mentions of blood, vomiting, ptsd, mental breakdown, panic attacks, self hate, self loathing, unintentional self harm. This chapter is intense, especially at the beginning, if you are triggered or uncomfortable with any of the warnings above, please do what makes you comfortable, I understand if you don't want to read because of that.
A/N: it's a mental breakdown *kazoo*. That's pretty much the chapter. Big mental breakdown. The trauma/ptsd reactions in this chapter(and future chapters dealing with ptsd and trauma) are based on the behaviors and reactions I noticed in my friend when her ptsd was triggered, she didn't talk, was visibly upset, she couldn't sleep and she wasn't eating, I've also done more research into ptsd and what comes with it. The self loathing/hating bits are based on me, no further comment.
Amnesia link here. Arm's Length (art) here
________________________________________________________________________________
The Havoc Marauder flew through the blue void of hyperspace. Inside the ship, the stench of blood had a powerful presence.
Omega peeked out from the cockpit to see how Freyu was doing. She wasn't good.
Freyu had her back pressed against the wall. Her chest hurt, her heart was racing- skipping beats- she couldn't breath, she felt like the air was being sucked out of her.
It must be the helmet. She determined, throwing it off, gulping for air. Blood splattered on the ground from where her helmet rolled.
She grabbed her head and covered her ear, screaming. When she pulled them back, bloody handprints were left behind. She stared with wide, shocked eyes at the blood, her whole body started shaking uncontrollably.
Freyu's face went a sickly pale blue, she didn't even have the time to move before she vomited.
She threw up all the contents of her stomach and then the bile and stomach acids that were left. The highly acidic substance fizzled on the floor and started melting through the weakest parts.
By the time she stopped, she was on the floor with her shaking arms barely holding her up. She was still dry heaving.
"Is she- uh, that's... that's a big mess." Wrecker commented.
Omega glanced up at him, he was probably the messiest besides Freyu, the blood on him was still wet. She looked back to the Pantoran, her face was still pale and she looked terrified. Wrecker's sudden appearance had caught her attention.
She glanced over at them, her eyes widdening further when she saw the blood that had splattered onto them. She dry heaved again at the sight.
Omega turned to her brothers for help, they were all listening from their seats, trying their best to ignore the situation. Unknown to her they were reminded of some, rather unpleasant times. It was Wrecker who broke the silence.
"Should we talk to her about it?" He asked.
"I, don't think she's in a talkative mood." Hunter said slowly.
"She probably won't want to either." Echo added in, Tech nodded in agreement.
Omega had gone back to watching Freyu, she had her knees pulled to her chest and her head tucked down, she was frantically whispering to herself.
Echo elbowed Hunter and gestured towards Omega, the young clone clearly worried over her friens, while giving the ex-sergeant a hard stare. Hunted nodded and made his way over to kneel by her.
"Are you," He paused, wondering how to phrase his next words. "Still seeing things?"
Omega shook her head 'no'. Hunter turned her to face him, blood had gotten onto her face and hair. It was startling, even if he knew it wasn't hers.
"Let's get you cleaned up, kid." He told her, raising to his feet and placing a hand on her shoulder to guide her to the fresher.
She didn't budge.
"Can I try talking to her?" She requested, turning her pleading eyes up to him.
He couldn't say no to her like this and she knew it. He gave her a small nod, she nodded back and stepped out of the cockpit.
"I'm not supposed to do that. I don't do that. I can't. I promised I wouldn't I'm not supposed to. I tried to be good. It's bad. Feels good then terrible, never again. I tried. I shouldn't. I don't. Not anymore. I shouldn't. It's bad. It's very very bad. I'm not supposed to. I have to stop it. I tried. I was good. I tried. I tried to stop. I tried. I shouldn't do that. I didn't want to. Felt good, I feel terrible. I tried. I tried. I tried. I tried. I tried." Freyu whispered, her whole body was heaving with the struggle to breath.
"Freyu?" Omega asked.
She didn't respond, she just kept whispering and shaking.
Omega got onto her knees in front of Freyu and waved her hand in front of her face. Nothing. She gently prodded Freyu's shoulder.
With the way Freyu reacted, you'd think someone had stabbed her.
She lurched away from Omega, something broke in the ship again. Freyu's chest heaved with her panicked breathing. She felt trapped, everything was too close to her. Omega was too close. Wait, what was... No.
There was blood on Omega.
There should not be blood on her! Why is there blood on her?!
You. That's why. You fucked up again. You did it again! You know you aren't supposed to but you did anyway! You did bad! You are bad! Freyu grabbed her head as it started screaming at her.
Omega reached out to her friend, but before any contact was made Freyu lurched back like Omega was attacking her.
"Stay away from me!" She hissed.
Omega flinched at the anger in her voice. Freyu's never been angry at me. Something really bad must've happened.
"Are you okay?" She thought it was an easy enough question. It didn't go like she'd hoped.
Freyu just stared at her like she'd asked something obviously impossible.
"No."
"Freyu, what hap-" Omega broke off as Freyu jumped back when she came closer, one arm extended to ward her off, the other feeling for the wall behind her.
"Don't ask that. Don't you ever ask that." Freyu snapped.
Omega stepped back away from the distressed Pantoran. Her gut told her there was danger in getting too close. Hunter chose now to intervene and he pulled Omega further away to give Freyu more breathing room.
Freyu started pacing back and forth in the space she was given, her body trembled with each seemingly painful breath she took in. She made the floor turned red with the blood dripping off of her. Nervous energy came off her in waves. Hunter watch her carefully as she started whispering again, it was coming out in a mix of Pantoran and Mando'a, he didn't understand most of it but he did pick up on one word, a curse word she used a lot. He glanced over his shoulder to see all his brothers watching as well.
"Any ideas?" He asked.
"She's mostly cursing at herself, repeating herself and muttering about bad dark, whatever that is. She's not making sense." Tech explained while pushing his goggles up.
"Well how do we make it stop?" Omega asked.
"I don't think this is something we can stop. I don't even think she can." Hunter said.
"Well, it's a panic attack so-"
"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! You can't do anything right! Not a simple thing without fucking it up somehow! It's so easy and you fucked up again! You managed to kill more people this time you stupid fuck! He told you not too, he told you how to stop but no, you just had to fuck up seven years of work and now you're right back where you started!" Freyu shouted and punched the wall like it had insulted her.
She punched the wall until their was a sizable dent, shouting at herself the whole time. It was a scary impressive feat considering the dent formed after just two minutes. She stopped punching for a moment and pressed her head against the wall.
She could see her reflection in the metal wall, bloody hand prints on her head, blood that wasn't hers covering her. Her skin crawled and her body convulsed with another dry heave. She hated, hated it. She didn't want to see herself.
She squeezed her eyes shut and punched the spot she'd seen herself, her hands screamed at her.
"Freyu stop!" A hand grabbed her arm mid-punch and pulled her back.
Someone's attacking!
She whipped around, ready to punch the shit out of whoever was there. Another hand grabbed her other arm and stopped her from doing so.
"You are hurting yourself. You need to stop." The controlled, even voice said.
She took a moment to remember who's voice it was, and refocus on her surroundings. Her heart was pounding, chest heaving, it hurt.
Everything hurt.
Something vaguely ration and thinking finally caught up to her. There were other people with her. She wasn't alone at home and able to just lose it.
Even if he had been trying to help, the unwanted feeling of touch was too much, especially right now. She needed to keep control.
She looked the former clone sergeant in the eyes with as much control as she could get.
"Let go, please. Now." She tried to make it clear that she was not messing around.
To her surprise, Hunter let go without any fuss and backed up, giving her some breathing room. She eyed the gathered clones, they were all expressing varying levels of concern and worry. Omega was by far the most worried, Freyu hesitantly met her gaze to make sure she got the message.
"Omega. Stay. The. Fuck. Away from me." She ordered harshly.
Omega flinched and looked at her with a wounded expression. Freyu felt so awful for it, for making Omega scared of her, but she'd rather Omega be scared then dead.
"I don't want to hurt you." She added softly, looking down at her hands.
Her bloody, bloody hands. Hands that did so much damage. She hurt Jicelli, her vod'ika. Who hadn't wanted anything to do with her, she had been so terrified. Guilt and hate made her stomach churn, she stepped back to the wall to keep herself as far away as she could, for their sake.
Her legs were weak, she slumped back down, rubbing her arms with her sore hands.
"I hurt her! I hurt my sister! I d-didn't mean to, i-I swear! I didn't want to hurt her! I was trying to protect her! And I hurt her!" She buried her face in her hands, once again forgetting she was not alone.
The hate burned deep, it burned her, hurt her, the blood might as well have been acid with the sting she felt. She had to get it off. She composed herself, for a moment slipping on the trusty old mask of a cold, neutral expression. She got up and grabbed her helmet off the floor, she didn't look at it.
"Bye. Stay away." She said flatly.
She promptly left and made her way over to her own ship, trying to ignore the bloody trail she left in her wake.
The clones stared after the trail of blood. Hunter snapped out of it first, they had to get the place cleaned up and get back to Ord Mantell. Cid might have answers, she seemed to have known Freyu given the Trandoshan's reaction to first seeing the Pantoran.
"Echo, help Omega clean up, we'll wash everything in the fresher once she's done. Tech, Wrecker, help me clean the mess." Hunter ordered.
His brothers nodded and went about doing as he said. Echo lead Omega to the fresher, despite her worried protests. He grabbed some cleaning supplies and got to work cleaning the mess.
XXX
Freyu stumbled through the halls of her ship, trying not to get lost on her way. She turned a corner and froze.
C.N.O.
Chora's room.
Chora! It's all her fault!
She lashed out at the door, crushing it with a fierce anger.
"Ni'durra! (Mando'a, you disgust me) Or'parguur (Mando'a, I hate you) Chora!" She screamed at the door.
Pretending this is her will make me feel better!
A lie.
She knew it wouldn't, in a few minutes she'd feel awful about damaging her family's ship, but at the moment, it certainly did something.
When the initials painted onto the door were gone from her sight, she turned away from it and ran to the fresher with the urge to throw up again. She dry heaved into the toilet for five minutes.
Once she stopped, she sat back and leaned against the wall. Her throat burned. Her hands throbbed. Her head pounded against her skull. She grabbed her head and screamed for who knows how long.
She got in the fresher and turned the water on without changing. The warm water started washing the blood and sweat and vomit off her, she felt it soaking through her body suit. She closed her eyes and turned her face towards the water.
It felt good.
She leaned against the back of the fresher and slowly let herself slump to the floor. She avoided looking down at the water, she knew it was red.
Blood red.
Maker, she hated that color.
She hated seeing the lush orange grass flattened, broken, covered in blood, guts, and everything else inside a body when she closed her eyes. She hated everything she did, and was at this point.
She hated when everything came back to punch her in the gut and hold her in a mental headlock.
Blood red brought it all back.
Wash it off. Wash it off. Wash it off. Wash it all away. She told herself, scrubbing her hands in circles over her skull. A headache was coming on, she knew it'd be a bad one, the kind she'd usually sleep off but, ha, rest wasn't her friend unless she was knocked out cold, or stunned to sleep because of... actions that warranted such extreme methods.
I wish Alask or Naylaz were here... I wish Maatsu was here. Fuck, I need him!
She screamed again.
Open the door, he'll be there. He has to be.
He wasn't.
And he never would again.
Coruscant.
Temple.
Jedi.
Loud.
Pain.
Hurt.
Clones.
Maatsu's Clone Commanders.
Standing next to her.
Upset.
Jedi.
Little ones crying.
Missing him.
Everyone missing him.
Dead. Dead. Dead.
He's dead!
Dead. Dead. Dead.
She's dead!
Alone. My fault.
Alone. My fault.
Alone. My fault.
Alone. My fault!
She sat for what felt like days, knowing it was only an hour or so, maybe two. She carelessly took her armor and clothes off, leaving them in a pile in the corner.
She stayed there longer, letting the water wash everything it could away. It couldn't wash away any scars or the sick feeling inside of her. She scratched her arms and stomach, trying to rid herself of the awful, awful feelings, she knew where it would lead if she scratched too much though she didn't care at the moment.
She left the pile of clothes and armor in the corner, she didn't even bother to check for injuries, she just wanted out of where she could see everything. She didn't want to see reflections, she wanted it all to go away.
She blindly fumbled to her room and locked the door behind her. A quick change into something comfortable later and she was sitting on her bed, staring at a wall trying to block everything out with the weighted blanket she kept in there.
The shock was still there and numbing everything but her hate.
She stared blankly at the wall ahead of her.
Screaming. Rain. Mud. Fear.
Shots fired. Burning holes. Limp bodies. Lifeless eyes.
Fear. Grief. Fear. Betrayal. Fear. Anger. Fear. Numb. Fear. Dark. Fear. Screaming. Fear.
Red.
Fear.
Blood.
Silent tears fell down her face, she didn't bother wiping them away. Slowly, as the tears kept flowing, pouring through cracks in the fractured wall she tried to keep up, she finally let herself cry.
It sounded like a mix between screaming and crying, knowing herself it most defenately was, and Maker it was loud.
XXX
A muffled screaming cry could be heard throughout the ships. It was unsettling to say the least.
Hunter glanced in the direction of the pained sound, his enhanced hearing making it that much clearer. He sighed and sat down, staring at the monitors flashing in front of him.
Slowly, he went over the day's events in his mind.
The indirect revelation of Freyu's relation to Chora, and her intense reactions said something happened between them. It definitely wasn't good. The panicked ramble she'd gone on had revealed a few things, but most of it sounded meaningless. Tech will have a better grip on what she meant. He thought.
As if on cue, his brother tapped on his shoulder, the scent of caf followed.
"Staring at a screen like that isn't good for your eyes, you'll get a headache and that's the last thing we need at the moment." Tech told him bluntly.
He sighed and turned to Tech, his brother looked as tired as he felt. At least they were all clean now. Tech passed him one of two cups of caf he'd been holding.
"What's your take on this?" He asked.
"She needs help." Tech's cut and dry response echoed in the hollow ship.
"You could say that again." Hunter agreed.
"She needs to go to professional therapy." Tech said before taking a long sip from his mug.
"Good luck talking to her about it." Hunter chuckled mirthlessly.
There was no way Freyu would let any of them in, or help with something like that, especially not now.
His brother gave him an empty laugh. The two sat for a few minutes without saying a word.
"Knowing what we do now, some of her behaviors make more sense, traumatic experiences, especially when suffered at a young age, can stunt normal growth and maturity, but the interesting thing here is, it seems Freyu had to mature and become, or act, much older than she actually was, to support herself and sister. So she had to act grown up despite being developmentally stunted, well, further than she already is." Tech said, stirring his caf around.
Hunter shot him a confused look.
"What do you mean further than she already is, is something wrong with her?" He asked, forgetting what Tech had alluded to many times.
In his defense, Tech was always very vague about it.
"Clearly she has problems and issues, but what I was referring to is a naturally occurring mutation that has an equivalent in many species with similar effects to behavior and brain development, it usually causes a slowing of development because the brain is built different, we should all know that it's not actually something wrong, despite what some say." Tech shot him a pointed look as Echo walked in.
"Right, right, sorry." Hunter apologized.
He knew it was a touchy subject for Tech, the Kaminoans hadn't been kind to that sort of divergence from their standards. The regs hadn't been kind to him either.
"Back to what I was trying to say. Freyu's less guarded behaviors are more comparable to someone who's younger than actually her age, the person we see is an act. So, even though she's considered an adult by many due to her age, emotionally, behaviorally and mentally, she is still a child who is just acting and pretending to be an adult."
Echo nodded. Tech's logic made sense considering the darastic switches in behavior when dealing with one of them verses with Omega.
"So, does her drinking habits have anything to do with this?" Hunter asked.
"No, she's Pantoran and they are much better at differentiating between what's actually made by their body and what is from an outside source due to most, if not all their homeworld's plant life having mind alerting effects or being poisonous, the most alcohol will do is make a Pantoran giggling and distracted without much permanent or long term damage to their brain or body. So it's not as much a habit as it is a distraction when things get too intense. There are certain things from Pantora that will effect her more, but she's not going to hurt herself by using them." Tech answered quickly.
"How do you know all of this?" Hunter asked.
"It would have been irresponsible if I didn't do the proper research or take into account how she differs from humans when she started living around us." Tech turned to Echo, who so far had been quiet.
"Echo, you met her brother, what did he say about her?" Tech had his data pad ready.
"I didn't talk to him much, most of what I know is stuff I picked up from conversations between him and General Skywalker, and some clones who might've known her. I've only retained her name and a few odd facts. It was a while ago and you know, this happened." Echo gestured towards his scomp arm, "But he was very worried about her, he said something about not being away for very long." Echo shrugged.
"Hmm." Tech wrote down a quick note.
"Understandably, it seems she was dependent upon him. He was the only adult figure, that we know of, left in her life so it's to be expected. Must've been quite the shock when he died. And I assume that her sister is also dead since we didn't see her at all. It explains her protectiveness with Omega." Tech nodded to himself.
Echo and Hunter exchanged a concerned glance.
"What does that mean for all this?" Hunter wondered.
"It means we have a traumatized, neurologically divergent, Force sensitive who suffered at least three traumatic events in the span of four years who has been triggered and is going through another episode. She is still the sixteen year old who had the one stabilizing figure in her life ripped away from her unexpectedly. She's still a child, and a very scared, lonely and hurt one at that." Tech set his mug down.
"We should all remember that and we shouldn't expect more from her, I have a feeling there's not much 'more' she can give." (Aka, be nice to the traumatized fucked up burnt out person) He fixed his brothers with a stern look.
"So what do we do about her now?" Hunter asked.
"We wait and see, mental health is tricky subject, we need to learn what triggers a reaction and how to avoid the bad ones without asking her, like how we did with Echo. It will take time." Tech said.
Hunter nodded. Having something of a plan to tackle this situation gave him a sliver of comfort and reassurance that this could be handled.
XXX
The batch walked into Cid's parlor exhausted and ready for rest.
"Well look who's back from their sudden excursion!" Cid shouted from the bar counter.
She glanced around after not seeing any blue or bright red.
"Where's Blue?" She asked.
"In her room, we think." Bandana sighed.
Cid squinted, her nostrils flared, she caught a faint whiff of blood. Oh fuck.
"What happened?" She asked shrewdly.
"It's complicated to explain." Muscles said.
Cid's worries grew. She'd anticipated something happening with the way Blue was acting.
"Chora show up?" She guessed.
"You know her?"
Cid laughed coldly, "I've known all of them for a while."
Her gaze hardened and she gave the clones a dark look.
"And I have an idea about what happened." She added.
"She acted out of a state of extreme fear and anger, I see why the Jedi avoided such emotions as much as possible." Goggles said.
Cid nodded. Just like last time. She sighed.
"Blue was in fight, flight or freeze, cornered, scared and out of options. All that makes for a pretty extreme reaction. She hasn't been in a very stable mindset for a while, she lost control and just blindly lashed out at everything that was a threat. Her being in such a negative headspace beforehand is why it got so bad, and she ran into Chora, someone who doesn't evoke a positive response." Cid said while washing a cup.
"You talk about it like this isn't the first time you've heard of her doing this." Scomp said cautiously.
"It's not." Cid said vaugly.
"Who told you?" Bandana asked.
"Her brother. Needed to get a lot of his chest so he came to me. There wasn't any one else." Cid shrugged.
"Do you know how we can help her?" Tiny finally spoke up.
Cid stopped what she was doing and sighed. She knew kids liked to help, Tiny especially, this would be hard for her. And clones just could not sit still.
"There's nothing you can do right now other than leave her alone to let her process everything, and even when that's done, there won't be much you can do. She does not like talking about this, so don't push her when she comes out, you'll just push her back in." Cid told the gathered clones.
As she'd suspected, they all looked uncomfortable with doing nothing.
"Trust me, I know what to do." Cid tried to assure them she had it covered.
She went back to work. She knew they'd hang around for a while, maybe they'd get another shower or change their armor to properly clean it. She didn't really care what they did, so long as they left Blue alone for the time being.
One by one, the clones made their way out of her bar. Only Bandana and Tiny were left. Tiny wasn't acting normal, there was something on that kid's mind that was bothering her. Cid was worried about just what the kid saw, how much it would effect her, and how much Blue would blame herself for it. And she was pretty sure Tiny had been quietly crying.
Bandana stood up and held his hand out for Tiny, she looked at him with sleepy, bloodshot eyes.
"C'mon Omega, we should get to bed." He said.
"Hold on a second." Cid intervened, much to the clone's confusion.
"I want to have a talk with you." She said.
"What about? Is something wrong?" The clone was instantly worried.
"Look at her." Cid pointed at the sleepy kid slumping down by the bar.
She looked exhausted on more than a physical level. And she looked upset.
"She did say she was seeing things that didn't belong..." Bandana trailed off, then went from realisation to worry instantly.
"Omega was using a lightsaber like she knew exactly what to do with it. She was copying everything." He said in a hushed voice.
"Hmm." Cid frowned.
The couple of Jedi she had contact with didn't talk about their ways, Maatsu did. Hell, he would come down just to rant about something he found particularly interesting for hours. Wonder where those recordings are? She pushed the thought off for later. But the last time Maatsu had been by, the last time she'd seen that endearingly annoying kid, he'd given her a preemptive warning of sorts regarding his sister and what she did.
"Any of your generals have battle meditation?" She asked.
"No, didn't have a general, I've heard of it though, some sort of battle guide Jedi could do to direct a battle however they wanted." He gave her an absent shrug, glancing at Tiny with concern.
"Okay, that's kinda what this is, but that takes a lot of skill and a talent for it. I have heard of Jedi doing something that sounds a lot like what you've described, it's like the battle meditation but on a much smaller, easier scale with a deeper connection between those involved." Cid paused with a heavy sigh, a slight hesitation about revealing such private information.
If Blue had her way they'd never find out.
"Blue's always been good at making connections with others, it's something that comes naturally to her," the clone gave her a doubtful look, "Surprising, I know, but that's just what she does. The problem is, I think she accidentally made some connection with Tiny. So Tiny saw, probably felt, it all." Cid said.
Bandana looked mad, he didn't need to be. It was an accident and unintentional. Blue did not share willingly anymore. She could see thoughts racing in the human's head.
"Don't say anything to either of them, fill in your brothers later, but we don't know what actually happened, and we won't until Blue decides she wants to talk about it." Cid told him sternly.
She turned to Tiny, who'd fallen asleep while they were talking. Banada went over to the kid and picked her up, cradling her in his arms.
"Leave her alone, try to forget what you saw. And if you try blaming her, or treating her like some dangerous wild animal, you will be seeing my ugly side for real." She warned.
Bandana's eyes widened, he tried to say something.
"I wouldn't have said anything if it hadn't happened before. It has and it is not pretty. She's already doing it to herself. The last thing we all need is to deal with more of that." She said before he had the chance to speak.
"You're very protective of her, how long have you known her?" He asked.
There was some genuine curiosity in his voice. For the longest time she'd thought he dismissed her simply as an informant and his boss, partly because that was what she wanted. She'd seen him and his brothers as an asset, not much more.
Until she saw the distress from Tiny going missing. It struck at her closely guarded soft spot and brought up some memories of old friends. She didn't think they'd noticed the extra credits yet, or how they always had fuel and their ship was always repaired. Little things went a long way.
"I've known her family long before she was born." She said.
The conversation was done and over, she decided. She went back to her office, to finish up her close for the night.
She spotted two sets of glowing eyes through the window in the alley behind her office. She left a specific box of rations on the outer edge of the window, knowing full well it'd be gone in a matter of minutes.
I know you won't take care of yourself Blue, take what I'm giving you. And take all the time you need.
XXX
Freyu hiccuped and coughed. She had her knees pulled against her chest and her hands between her legs to prevent herself from scratching.
The soft lights in the room flickered with every scream and sob.
She felt sick, she felt so sick, so awful inside. It was like a disease festering inside of her! It squirmed and attacked her.
She hated it! She wanted it to leave her! She wanted all the sickness and brokenness and hate inside of her to leave.
She wished all the feelings would just go away!
She didn't want to feel anything!
But she had to feel everything.
It all dragged her down to a terrible, dark, cold place.
________________________________________________________________________________
@the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond if you're interested.
Cid knew Freyu's family before the Clone Wars happened, so she's kinder/got a soft spot for the O'asisk family.
Cid does not call Freyu "Blue" because she is physically blue, it's a nickname she got as a kid for something she did a lot that she finds embarrassing now and only Cid is allowed to call her "Blue", anyone else is getting punched.
This has been done for a while, I've just put off posting it cause, I don't really know, it deals with a rough/sensitive subject so I was a little worried about that.
Trauma can stunt development, Childhood trauma does that too, so naturally, unguarded and relaxed, Freyu's behaviors are more like a sixteen year old cause that's just where she is mentally.
If anyone has any experience with trauma and would be comfortable offering help or tips in how to write it better, most of it is based on behaviors I observed in my friend Ann as mentioned above but I will gladly take more help!
I hope you all have a good day, whatever that is for you.
VJS out!
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dekuspet · 5 years ago
Text
Oblivion - Part 1
Deku/Izuku Midoriya x Reader x Kacchan/Bakugou Katsuki
Part II here!
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Genre: Angst, Fluff
"He told me he'll never leave. He lied."
-
"I love you. You're the most beautiful thing I ever laid my eyes on. I'll never leave you.", he said to you as he speaks between your kisses.
"We will make a family. We will make little Bakugous. How many kids do you think will we have?", he smiled.
You laughed sarcastically as tears started falling down your eyes.
"Why are you laugh-crying?", the man who's eating your pussy was shocked. Who is he? You don't know either. You just fuck around. Fuck with strangers. Then leave. No strings attached.
Afterall, they'll all just leave you. They will, you know that.
You continue laughing sarcastically. The man who's about to fuck you isn't horny anymore.
"Damn, kid. Go see a doctor. You're creeping me out.", he left right away.
Ah, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You did it again. Is it because of the alcohol and your low tolerance?
Why do you keep remembering that shitty asshole? Earlier, you're horny. And now you're left, horny and sad.
You laughed again. Maybe you're really crazy. It's been five years. Five. Goddamn. Years.
You sighed. You force yourself to get up and move your ass to go home. Or maybe find another fucker to fuck? Afterall, you're still horny.
You have no problem getting fuck again and again. As long as there's condom.
No, it's not because you don't want to be pregnant.
Hell, you would want to be pregnant. Really.
"Little Bakugous"
Ah, again. You're real shit. You keep pitying yourself.
"You're infertile. You can't have babies. I am sorry Mrs. Bakugou."
You covered your ears as tears fell from your eyes.
Make it stop. Please. Make it stop.
"Aah babe, faster.", you stopped crying for a little as you heard your door bang. The two persons look like their about to fuck. You really can't see them clearly. You're to lazy to wear your eyeglasses.
Ow, maybe wrong room? Well, you don't give a fuck. You're leaving anyways.
You're about to leave, muttering sorry but not bothering to look at them. But the guy held your arm.
"Y-y/n wait!", you turned around. Now closer. You saw who is it with your puffy eyes.
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Those curly green hair partnered with green caring eyes.
"I-Izuku! H-hi!", you smiled forcefully.
"Hey babe. Who is she? Aren't we going to fuck? Or will this be threesome?", the other gurl said.
"I-I am sorry. I am not in the mood to have sex. I-I can find you another partner.", the girl looked at her with disbelief and she slapped him as she called him asshole. She left right away.
"I didn't know you can be an asshole sometimes, Izuku.", you laughed a little. Izuku scratched his head.
"I-I just want to comfort you. You looked like you just cried.", he said. You smiled. He's still the same caring, innocent boy. You both sat at the corner of the bed in the private room at the bar.
They know what happened five years ago. Well, not really everything. They don't know you're infertile. They just know the decision for your relationship is mutual.
You laughed sarcastically again.
"Hey, are you okay?", You looked at Izuku as he held your shoulder. Am I okay? It's been long since someone asked you that. You got teary eyes. It's like all your emotions are triggered to be released.
"I am not, Izuku.", you cried loudly. He is hesistant at first but he hugged you. You told him the whole story.
"I am sorry Katsu, I can't give you a child", Katsuki is silent. He is confused.
"Give me space.", he said as he left. He didn't return for days. You let him.
Your eyes sparkled as you heard the doorbell. It's probably Katsu.
You opened it and you saw Katsuki holding a paper.
Divorce papers.
"I am sorry. I want to have kids.", he didn't look at you.
Your heart clenched but you didn't cry. You signed it rightaway. When he left, you cried until you had enough.
"I am here. Ssh. I am here.", those comforting words. Damn. You don't know you need those. You acted tough when you and Katsuki separated. So no one will worry about you.
But not until now did you realize that you need someone to lean on.
It's been hours of you crying. And Izuku patting your back. Izuku's clothes are wet with your tears. Then you stopped. You looked at him and you raised your hands so he'll face you. He looked at you with troubled eyes, like he don't know what to say. You kissed him fast.
He's shocked. So he pushed you lightly.
"What are you doing, Y/n?", he asked as he looked at you with different emotions. He is sad, confused. You rubbed him down there as he moaned.
"I know you're horny. You set it aside to comfort me. I am horny too. Let's just follow our bodies. This will just be for one night. We will forget it afterwards. We will remain friends, okay?"
"B-but I don't have condom."
"Ssh, as long as you're not sick.",you didn't let him respond as you pushed him on the bed.
-
"Oh fuck.", you held your head. It hurts so much.
"Good morning, Y/n.", you heard Izuku said as you muttered 'morning'.
Eh?
Eh? Izuku?
"I-Izuku!", you jumped out of bed as you remembered what happened last night. The blanket on your body fell and your body is exposed to Izuku. Izuku's jaw fell and he hurriedly turned around.
"I am sorry, Y/n!", you laughed at him. He is still innocent. He acted like nothing happened to both of you last night.
And you must admit, he isn't innocent in bed.
You quickly picked up your clothes and you moaned as your head hurts again.
"I bought medicines for your hangover. Let's leave afterwards and let's eat breakfast.", he turned at you and he smiled.
Izuku has a simple car. Of course he'll have a simple car. Even though you know Izuku makes lot of money because he is the number 1 hero, you expected this. Afterall, he doesn't like being flashy.
And maybe he bought lots of All Might Action Figures, even he is the current number 1 hero.
You both reached a restaurant. He removed his seatbelt and muttered a wait to you. He'll probably open the door for you. As he run to open your side of the door, a guy wrapped his hands around Deku's shoulder. You look at the smiling blonde with that red eyes. Bakugou Katsuki.
You know Katsuki and Izuku are in good terms now. Katsuki isn't bullying Izuku, and he didn't hold grudge for Izuku being the Number 1 Hero.
"Oi! Who are you with? You got a date?", Katsuki said.
Izuku is hesitating if he should open the door so Katsuki opened it. His grin fell as he saw you.
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"Y/n."
You gulped. You feel like your legs are becoming jelly. You can't move. Izuku held his hand for you so he can pull you out.
"Kacchan, we are just go-", you stopped Izuku.
"Why are you explaining Izu, you're so funny.", you playfully hit him and you wrapped your hands around his arm.
"I'm so sorry, Bakugou, but I gotta snatch your friend. We're really hungry.", you smiled at him as you didn't let him say another word. You and Izuku entered the restaurant. You are glad Izuku let you drag him.
Katsuki is staring at you as you walked. You called him Bakugou. And you are with Deku. He is confused.
Why?
He has lot of questions. He felt like he is betrayed, even though you two already separated.
Deku doesn't know the bro rule.
Katsuki sighed as he left confused and angry.
You and Izuku ate and bid farewell after.
Afterall, you agreed that it's just one night stand.
-
Izuku become closer to you. And now you're somehow angry. He pitied you. That's why he's caring. You don't want to be pitied.
"Hey Y/n.", Izuku showed again at your agency with a bento box. You admit, you love his homemade food but you're both getting rumored dating as he always show at your work.
You pulled him and you brought him where no one can see. He is looking at you, confused.
"Look Izuku. Stop this.", you looked at him seriously. He looked hurt. He stare at the floor.
"Okay. Just, take this. I'll not bother you anymore. Call me if you need someone. Bye.", he left looking sad. Then you became guilty. You can't hurt this Cinnamon roll. So you run after him.
"Okay, Izuku. I am sorry. I just, don't want to burden you. You have problems too. And I don't want to trouble you with the rumors.", you told him sincerely. He held your shoulder.
"You will never be a bother to me. I am your friend, Y/n.", you smiled at him. You muttered a thank you. He smiled before he turns to leave the agency you're in.
"Let's meet at friday! Let's drink! Usual place!", you shout and he turned back to nod.
You both part ways. Your friendship with Izuku became stronger.
-
People gasp as Ground Zero attacked Deku. Kirishima and Kaminari stopped Bakugou. They all work at the same agency.
"Man, what is wrong with you.", Kirishima glared at Bakugou.
"That fucking traitor don't know bro rule. Deku, you don't date your friends ex!", Bakugou is loud. Fortunately, they're still at the agency and all heroes here will not betray them, probably.
"I am not doing anything! We are just friends!", Deku whispered.
"Fuck that friendship. What kind of friends meet early at the morning and eat breakfast? Remember Deku, bros before hoes. We are in good terms, man.", Bakugou is still angry.
"Y/n isn't a hoe. Stop being an asshole. She needs a friend. What you did isn't nice, Kacchan. She needs a friend.", Everyone's surprised as the Number 1 Hero glared at Bakugou as he left right away. Bakugou avoid his eyes as his guilt eats him.
-
You wake up feeling nauseous. It's Sunday. You know you didn't drink alcohol last night. You ran to the bathroom and vomit. You breathe heavily. Realization hit you after you vomited.
No this can't be. How?
-
"Congrats, you're 2 months pregnant.", you looked at the doctor, horrified. The doctor sense it.
"Is it an unwanted child?", she asked.
"No. I want to have a baby. But I am diagnosed as infertile.", you said.
"Did you get second opinion? If not, maybe the doctor's wrong. We have checked it Miss Y/n, you're really pregnant.",she sais as she smiled. She left you alone.
Ow what the fuck. You didn't have sex with anyone in the last 3 months.
Just Izuku.
You're confused. You are glad that you are fertile. But, what would Izuku's reaction will be?
You know he'll accept it. He's kind. But what if it'll hinder his work and dreams?
You shrugged the thought off. You walked to your car to visit Izuku.
-
"Deku!", Katsuki is knocking at Izuku's apartment.
"Kacchan!", Deku opened the door and let Katsuki enter.
"I'm sorry. I doubted you. And I understand that I became an asshole with Y/n. I thought I needed kids. But after we broke up, I can't find a wife. They're not y/n. I don't want kids. I want Y/n. But she is distant to me after we broke up. I didn't have time to apologize.", Izuku rolled his eyes internally.
"Kacchan, you should apologize to her.", I'm glad you're a dick so I can have chance with her.
"I-I don't know how." Figure it yourself, dick.
Both Katsuki and Izuku turn around the door as the doorbell rang.
Who could it be?
-
You rang the doorbell. You planned to say it at his face right away. You held your breathe as he opened his door and you pushed him in right away.
"Izuku, I'm pregnant.", Izuku looked shock. You saw blonde hair behind Izuku. Oh fuck.
"B-Bakugou."
-
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Bakugou when he found out that you are pregnant with Deku's child even though the reason that you two broke up is you being infertile, add up with the fact that Deku said you two are just "friends":
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tacticaldiary · 5 years ago
Note
Hi! I love your writings!!💕💕
Can I request Akaashi with a reader who has panic attacks?and she thinks it's stupid and embarrassing and would rather be left alone when she has one, or even runs away from him until she's calm again cause she doesn't want him to see her like that, even though she obviously needs his help. How would he react to her insecurity and how would he help, sorry that's long and specific, it's totally okay if you're uncomfortable with that, just please let me know if you don't want to do it, thank you so much💕
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Enjoy! :)
I’m Here For You
Pairings: Reader x Akaashi Keiji
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Trigger Warning: Panic Attacks
Akaashi promises to be her rock, to anchor her when things get tough. He curses himself for not realising her troubles eariler, but he’ll be damned if he let’s her go through this alone, now that he knows.
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She feels her breath hitch when she sees her teacher give her a look of pity and puts her test face down on her desk. Face down? She was already on edge, having been anxious to find out how she had done for about a week now. Hesitating, she grabs the test and flips it over...and immediately feels nauseous.
How had this happened? She had prepared and studied for this for weeks. Weeks. She had pulled multiple all-nighters and had even accepted Akaashi’s offer to tutor her. So why the hell was the test paper in front of her stamped with a 28%? Snapping out of the shocked state Y/N was in, she quickly flips through the paper. This had to be a mistake, right? Each red cross made her feel worse and by the time she had reached the last page, she could feel her eyes burning with unshed tears.
She had worked so damn hard for this, just to fail? As her thoughts spiral, she feels her breathing pick up. How much was this test worth again? What would her parents say? She had just wasted weeks worth of her and Akaashi’s time. Her eyes widen as she feels a familiar pressure on her chest. Releasing a shaky breath, she glances at the clock desperately. Only three minutes till the end of class. She had to fight off the panic for three minutes. 
Y/N had been prone to panic attacks since she was about 14. She hated the way her mind  swirled with thoughts yet couldn’t seem to grasp and focus on any of them. She hated how her face drained of colour and how her chest felt like someone was stomping on it, hated the fact that she could never seem to get enough oxygen no matter how much she gasped for air. 
Most of all, she despised the way people stared at her when she had one in public. She couldn’t stand the sympathetic look in their eyes, as if she were something fragile and weak. It was embarrassing, but she had almost no control over it. 
Three minutes. 
Akaashi was worried, to say the least. He sat next to Y/N and occasionally glanced at his girlfriend, his eyebrows furrowed. He could tell something was wrong. He catches the score on Y/N’s paper and he suddenly understands. She was perfectly valid to be upset. Akaashi himself had had to drag her away from her desk multiple times at ungodly hours of the night. 
He catches her eyes once and tilts his head, a silent question. Her shaky smile doesn’t fool him even a bit. Akaashi’s plan to talk to her after class goes out the window when she practically sprints out of the classroom the moment the bell rings. He moves to follow her quickly, but scowls a little as the teacher calls him back to talk at her desk. 
She smiles at him, congratulating him on his perfect score. Akaashi nods along and pushes the conversation to finish without seeming too obvious. 
The lock clicks and Y/N collapses on the ground of the stall. Clenching her jaw, she squeezes her eyes shut and tries to get her mind to stop racing. It doesn’t work, so she just sits there, trying to let it pass. 
It feels like ages before her body stops shaking enough for her to stand, too exhausted to continue.
Akaashi had been looking for approximately twenty minutes and was now officially worried. Y/N couldn’t have gone far. He hoped she was alright. Briskly walking down one of the hallways, he does a double take at the person walking down the hall towards him. Familiar eyes catch his, as Y/N smiles at him. She barely manages to lift her hand to wave at him, before he has his hands on her shoulders. 
“Y/N...are you alright?” he frowns. 
“Y-yeah...Yes, Keiji, I’m fine.” None of it sounds convincing. The puffy eyes, her tear stained sleeves, the tired look in her eyes all give her away. Akaashi purses his mouth and grabs her hand. He pulls her into one of the classrooms, checking to see if it was empty, before turning to her. 
“You don’t need to lie to me. Tell me what’s wrong, please.” Y/N fidgets under his serious, piercing gaze and eventually breaks eye contact, shifting her eyes to look at the scuffed floor. She hears him sigh quietly and sees a pair of shoes enter her vision, before being pulled into a hug. 
Akaashi rests his chin on the top of her head. They stay like that for a few moments and with his silent reassurance, Y/N finally speaks. She mumbles something into his chest and he pulls away slightly to face her. 
“Love?” he prompts when she doesn’t repeat herself. 
“...I had a panic attack.” she mutters, looking off to the side. Akaashi’s eyes widen. Was this the first time? He hadn’t heard of Y/N having these before. 
“You...I’m so sorry, Y/N.” His arms tighten around her waist protectively. He felt like shit for not being there. “Have you had them before today?” When she nods, he feels his stomach twist unpleasantly. Why hadn’t he noticed? Was he not paying enough attention to her. 
“It’s embarrassing… I usually don’t like people staring at me when it happens. I just wait until it passes. Sorry I ran away like that.” She looks up at him and suddenly Akaashi feels nauseous. How long had the love of his life been suffering without him? Before he can interrupt, she keeps going.
“I just...I studied so hard for that test and I failed. I failed, Keiji.” Her voice breaks and she can feel tears coming up again as she remembers the red stamp on her paper. “I don’t know what I did wrong.” She thinks how annoyed Akaashi must be feeling at her for wasting his time. Oh god, he wouldn’t hate her for it, would he? She feels the familiar rush of panic as her heart sinks. She feels exhausted. 
“I’m sorry for wasting...your time.” Her breathing gets quicker and shorter as she struggles to suck in enough air. She twists her hand in Akaashi’s shirt. 
“Y/N?” he asks, shifting his hands from her waist to her shoulders. His eyes widen as she clenches her eyes shut, and he quickly has her sit down against one of the walls. Y/N leans away from his touch when his hand grazes her arm. She wanted the ground to swallow her whole. She didn’t want Keiji, of all people, to see her like this. How pathetic. He probably though she was stupid, panicking over something so small and-
“-breath for me?” His voice cuts through her rapid thoughts but she doesn’t open her eyes .
“Can you breath for me, darling?” When Y/N shakes her head, Akaashi moves closer. “Can I touch you?” he asks softly to which she hesitates, then nods. She feels him place an arm over her shoulder and mover her gently so that she’s leaning against his chest. His presence is warm and his scent washes over her as she buries her face in his shirt. He gently grabs her hand and brings it up near his heart, placing it there and covering it with his own. He starts running a hand through her hair soothingly, trying to ground her.
“Try and match my breaths.” He says quietly and starts breathing deeply. Trying to do what she was told Y/N struggles for a while, but eventually with Akaashi reassuring her that she was doing good, she manages to match his deep breaths. 
Silence takes over them as Y/N slowly calms down. Exhausted, she slumps into the body next to her and feels a pair of arms wind around her. “ ‘M sorry.” she mumbles to which Akaashi shakes his head.
“Don’t be. It’s not something you can control.” When she sighs and looks up she expects to find a look of pity on his face. She’s surprised to see the lack of it. 
“Thanks, Keiji.” The hand in her hand stops it’s movements. 
“Y/N.” He sounds serious and when Y/N looks down nervously, he chin up with his finger, forcing her to meet his gaze. 
“I need you to know that this is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.” When she opens her mouth to object, he keeps going. “Would I be right in saying my presence helped?”
Now that she thinks about it, this was probably the quickest she’s ever recovered from a panic attack. He takes her silence as a yes. “I see. Then I want you to come to me whenever you have another one of these.”
Y/N head shoots up in surprise. “But-”
“You can even call me if I’m too far away. I want to help you through this, love. I don’t care if it’s at 3 in the morning, I’ll always be here to help you. Always.” he moves to press their foreheads together. 
“You don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here for you. Don’t be scared to ask for help.” He reassures her seriously. 
“Keiji...Thank you.” She smiles up at him, tearing up a little. He brings up his arm and wipes away her tears, before leaning in and pressing a small kiss to the corner of her mouth. 
“Of course, love.” he whispers, brushing their noses together, smiling softly at her small giggle. 
He’d be damned if he let her go through this alone again.
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