#Baseline IT development
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Call forth summer!
#kamen rider#oc#kamen rider break#i feel like i should draw some cool action poses with her but i'm a bit shaky from having not drawn in about three weeks lol!#gotta train back up so i can get to baseline stroke accuracy and work on comics lol#this is a coloring style that still looks best with rough 'inks'.........#still in development!
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To be quite honest I think every mxtx main character would probably be into armpits in one way or another but as usual the scale would be determined by scum villain characters from lowest to highest level of kink
sqq - honestly thinks armpits are gross but binghe's are perfect so
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sqh and mbj and probably most other characters - into pits in a baseline kink attracted to masculinity way as is common for gay men
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binghe - into pits because he wants to become a parasitic tick and burrow his way into all of sqq's sweat glands and drink from them forever
#lwj would be an interesting case i think because if he had witnessed wwx in lotus pier shirt off in the summer sun#he would develop a crazy fixation on pits like that would be all he'd think about as a teen. but since that didnt happen i think he'd prob#just be baseline#at least until incense burner who knows wtf they do with that
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it really feels strange that you can just straight up not do things if you choose to. went home instead of going to a class and the gods didnt strike me down for my negligence. what the hell?
#tbf if i DID im p sure i wouldve fucked up my recovery for a while#drawing naked people for three hours like a painter while healing up arm/pec area = not the greatest idea i think#so instead i went home early and got lunch on the way#thats fucking wild isnt it that im just now learning to not follow the madeup rules at 20. maybe this is why my development as a person#is so far behind from my peers 😭😭🤣🤣#ppl who only gained a proper conscience at 13 rise up gang ur not alone TToTT like sure i had things that were ME b4 13 but. there were#only baseline thoughts and instincts. this i remember clearly
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I used to read so much fic back in the day lol. sad how tricky it is for me now
#I think maybe I just don’t enjoy it anymore </3#reading it anyway. I’ll always love writing it when I can manage that#also obviously there are exceptions. but most people’s work is not for me at all#I’ve developed too many new issues wrt how shipping affects people’s utilization of the characters#the stock Monogamous Romance Between Men narrative pisses me off I’m afraid.#it didn’t used to!#do not get me started on . I want to cry a bit when I think about what the big slash authors do with family violence narratives tbh#wallah it is not healthy for me to expose myself to that it makes me perhaps unfairly angry#and it’s really difficult for me to explain that it is not the eroticization I have a problem with but the genuine lack of understanding of#the family dynamics as a baseline.
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Random commenter: claims Tech was the least interesting member of the Bad Batch, didn't have much development, and was killed off because he was the least important to the story.
Me:
I will not stand for such libel!!!
I've been considering doing it, but now it's official: I'll be composing a complete thesis on Tech's character development in the near future (unfortunately, having a job and other responsibilities precludes me from writing it out right now).
#tech's development might not be as flashy and bold as crosshair's but it's there and it's beautiful#defending my man#characters can develop while still retaining their baseline unique personalities#actually that's usually how characters develop anyway#it's less about the characters completely changing who they are and more about us understanding them better#the bad batch#star wars the bad batch#tbb tech#stay tuned#i might write a thesis for hunter and wrecker too
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i wonder if i should go back and edit my representation doc to make it a) foolproof and b) more up to date with how i like to talk about DID these days
#its one of my older resources and lately i have developed with how i prefer to communicate DID#kostik speaks#im also ironing out my website so#the thing about my representation doc is it assumes you already have an understanding of how did gets talked about online#and im moreso steering them in a more correct direction from that baseline#but i wonder if i should just frame it from the ground up instead
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Do you believe Lightbearers are changed biologically from before they became Lightbearers?
Can't believe I forgot to answer this- I genuinely thought I did until I was scrolling through my inbox and saw it pop up again. Oops.
Anyways, my headcanon is that yes, Lightbearers are biologically different than non-Lightbearers- they become so when their ghost is rezzing them for the first time. During the first rez, their bodies are essentially restructured to better suit being a vessel of Light, with far greater phsyical resiliance, capacity, and overall durability being granted as a boon from the Traveler so that they're not torn to shreds when using even the most basal abilities. Even Lightless, they're still much stronger than a baseline human, they cannot age (their telomeres simply do not degrade and their DNA repair kit becomes more accurate, so they don't incur the gradual DNA loss/nonspecific remedies that lead to the maladies of old age), and they're still paracausally sensitive, even if their conduit for channeling the Light has been cut. Outside of the never-aging and paracasal-sensitivity thing, the effect isn't drastic, but they are still noticibly hardier than a person who'd never directly touched the light of the Traveler would be. Eris, Zavala, and Osiris could be beaten by a sufficiently strong mortal in an arm wrestling contest, for example, but they're all able to learn to use Darkness/walk off injuries with an ease that a Lightless mortal cannot.
After the first rez, additional permanant change is possible, but it requires either paracausal alteration (such as wounds created by Darkness, wounds that were earned and began healing in a no-light zone, or subconcious paracausal alteration, where the Guardian's own body rejects the touch of the Light), or deliberate ghost manipulation. I like to headcanon that by using the Light in much the same way that they would heal, Ghosts can learn to tweak parts of their guardian's bodies to be altered to their liking, which is a method by which transitioning post-rez occurs, in the instance that one was not an exo or did not medically transition before death. It's extremely delicate, but all they have to do is use their bond and the Light to go 'hey, you're missing something, you need to make more of this hormone or grow more of this tissue to fully heal', and bam, gender transed :) This fully depends on the skill of the ghost, however, so its a slow process even if it can theoretically lead to a full transition over time, and certain tissues can only atrophy so far before they need to be cut off. In the case of exos, all the ghosts need to do is block the mental disconnect between the body alterations and the perception of what those should be, and that's about it
#the gender transing also stays bc the 'last save file' of a ghost“#'s guardian is constantly updating. like an every second refresh#destiny 2#d2 headcanon#headcanons#koraxese-8#reply#the 'lightbearers are physically different post rez' thing is a lil different for guardian infertility tho.#thats basically bc the light is a class-a mutagen so the gametes of lightbearers are functionally useless#its like the opposite effect of radiation. instead of dna damage the dna of the gametes are rapidly evolving#and this is occurring at such a fast rate that they're incompatible with other#'s gametes. there's just never a perfect match and theyre always in too much flux#post-lightloss its not quiite the same but the concept is still there#in that the dna no longer matches a baseline human well enough to produce viable embryos#theyre not shooting blanks or developing bum eggs they just arent human anymore#(and even in the miracle event the gametes can fertilize. that thing aint implanting. or developing into a viable embryo)#(too much Light interference to be viable)
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no major fic updates just yet guys TAKE MY WOY OC I MADE LIKE. April of last year IM PLUGGING SOME INFO ABOUT THIS GUY IN THE TAGS.
I may also redesign her soon or something. Make her more bug-like with some stuff. I can cook guys let me cook !!!
#THIS IS VAL !!!! dubbed her as a he/she er..#I have lore about this guy and his homeplanet Amore and the Lovebugs..#all that’s really important to know is that ive based the worldbuilding for Amore around svtfoe’s mewni#design wise mostly. I’ll emphasize.#in terms of the societal parts of Amore the kingdom kinda flourishes in the arts of all sorts and trade within the kingdom it goes crazay…#they were pretty closed off from the rest of the galaxy though. like their tech and stuff is pretty outdated compared to most of the other-#planets with atleast escape ships and all that fun stuff.#foreshadowing#ANYHOW lovebugs are silly guys I think of them as like weird hedonistic freaks of sorts#they have very big dionysus worshipping energy to them just to give a perspective#and of course they prioritized relationships and the different forms of love#romance actually wasn’t even the big thing that built the kingdom#it was more like a love for community and friends#which is also kinda silly because of the monarchy aspect to Amore and all that#OH ALSO these guys go absolutely crazy with fashion and makeup. gender isn’t a major thing in the kingdom in my eyes#you WILL serve cunt!! /silly#WORLDBUILDING ASIDEEE Val was the prince to the kingdom and was set to be the heir to the throne#the designs are like three different route ideas ive had for Val#the first is just a baseline design so like. pre amore‘s destruction from dominator#the second is like a good ending design of sorts to my ideal lineup for a season three for woy with val continuing to embrace the lovebugs-#history and culture even with Amore gone and a good portion of her people#and the third. is a bit hard to describe because it’s more of an au but it’s just a concept idea I had of Val teaming up with Dom#(it would be short lived like probably a few months max so dw)#and silly note i joked about the idea of val being an ex to peepers BUT I WANNA DEVELOP THAT MORE BEFORE I SHARE.#tap into that this may be cringe but i am free mindset or something slash silly TEEHEE#BUT YEAH Val’s just a silly gal in my heart and soul no matter what. ive missed her a lot i wanna work on fics with him and especially to-#develop more stuff for Amore and the Lovebugs before Dominator’s destruction of the planet#BUT YEAH i wanna Val post more. go into depth for their dynamic with the other characters and all that#I may cook some more stuff with him once I get these stargazing fics all set and whatnot SO WE’LL SEE!#also /nf but if anyone would wanna ask questions about val/amore/lovebugs ask away I’d love to answer any questions! 🥺
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ive been seeing like. small moving things out of the corner of my eye a lot recently. and it's making me a little Concerned. sometimes they're just formless blobs but sometimes they look like gray/black worms.
#usually i only have visual hallucinations when im super stressed or exhausted.#and i am stressed and exhausted but only at like. my baseline amount.#and this is a new development and i was just learning so much abt schizophrenia and psychosis in my psychopharmacology class#so im a TINY BIT paranoid.#mine
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if you've seen the same one multiple times, it still only counts as one!
#developing a theory based around something we're going to call the Cybertruck Density Index...#help me with some informal initial screening for baselines!#polls
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Me whenever I remember I cannot remember a time in which I didn’t have disordered anxiety😂😂😂😂
#if you don’t know my lore I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety when I was eight but there was a year leading up to that of really bad#symptoms that made my parents come to the conclusion that oh fuck we fucked up somewhere because she’s eight and this is not right#and obviously what happened in my childhood made me develop the disorder blah blah sob story whatever#so basically yeah some of my earliest recollections are of my anxiety#and it’s really cool and I like to think about it all of the time#and how I’ve gotten better with most things in my life but anxiety is so intertwined with who I am as a person that I don’t believe it will#ever truly disappear#I believe if I put in the effort I can fully get rid of my restrictive ed#but anxiety is one of the few constants in my life that has been with me that has been such a part of my identity that I think who I am as a#person has already been stapled as anxious#like part of my identity that has been established is that I am anxious and my baseline mood is anxious#I don’t have a poker face you can very easily tell I’m anxious the moment you talk to me it is so obvious#which makes me more anxious btw#I truly believe one of the very few constants I will have from the start till the end of my life is anxiety and I hate that#geez that was edgy did you get the emotional validation you are seeking edge lord???#rae’s rambles#delete later
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2023 reads
The Water Outlaws
fantasy inspired by a wuxia classic
a woman who’s an expert arms instructor is labelled a criminal after being assaulted by a powerful man
she joins a group of rebellious bandits who fight for justice, and becomes entangled in politics both with the group and the empire - who are trying to develop powerful magical weapons
mainly queer & female cast
#The Water Outlaws#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#i loved this a lot!!#I will say I think it has a few flaws: if I hadn't read audio it probably would have been a bit slow/weirdly paced#and i think there's too many characters that aren't developed fully enough#(maybe a result of being a retelling of something that had many characters )#like there's setup for some amazing interesting relationships but they only get a couple scenes together?#there's this fight scene with the commander and a bit after it that made me insane then they didn't really interact after that..#and lu junyi's storyline was a bit unconnected...#BUT ALSO the characters are all really cool and i can like. imagine in the gaps u know#LU DA my beloved himbo flower monk....i love her.......#also!!!!#no romance#there’s some discussion of a past ones…and maybe it was implying things between certain characters but I didn’t read it obviously that way#anyway i gave it five stars#its kinda one of those books where im like.#actually i would've liked more of a lot of things BUT also the baseline of what is here is already at a rly high level of what i like. so.
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if the next book isn't annie's games or finnick's games, i want it to be a games for which we don't know the victor. and i want it to answer the question of who the redheaded avox was. answer the question of who she and the boy were and where they were going when katniss and gale saw them.
there's so much potential there, esp to tie the inevitability of the rebellion into the story, it aaaalmost makes me want to write a fanfic.
#the hunger games#the thing i enjoy the most about this book universe is the depth of the wordlbuilding#there is so much room for exploration of humanity and character and to see morality put the the ultimate tests#it's a treasure trove of possibility and it's so cool to see how it inspire the fans of the books#not only to think critically about government and politics and power dynamics/systems#but also how it inspires them in an empathetic way#so many kids these days lack a baseline empathy that's startling and some not all but some of that is bc of hte media they consume#from birth onwards#if there isn't a diversity of thought and humanity they develop narrow views on the world and struggle to care beyond their own experiences
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Does Lucifer care about the Hellborn?
care would be a stretch. a big stretch. he doesn't truly care about anyone except his family. the closest second place would be the sins , but it's a pretty big gap from one to the next. if one of the sins were to .... hurt charlie , for example .... well , there would only be 6 deadly sins after that.
side note : his own siblings kicking him out of heaven did a real number on his ability to form / maintain deep interpersonal relationships. lilith really became his lifeline after that. her leaving and charlie pulling away once she was old enough ( whether truly her choice or lilith drove a wedge between the father and daughter ) was the icing on the cake , so to speak. he maintains a comfortable distance from pretty much everyone these days.
hellborn are like an innocent byproduct to lucifer —-- as innocent as anyone in hell can be , at least. he favors them over sinners for one simple reason : they did not choose to be what they are. they simply are and have to make the best of it. they only exists because of his actions and are only damned because of his actions.
sinners , on the other hand , had choices. they had all the options in the world ( you're welcome , by the way ) and chose the paths that led them to hell. they're reaping what they sowed. same as lucifer.
the hellborn get a pardon from the exterminations because lucifer does not believe they should be punished for things completely outside their control. he fought not for them , but for fairness. punish those that have done something to deserve it , not those whose worst crime was the circumstances of their birth. hellborn can't control that any more than angels. they act the only way they know how. just like you. don't punish them for my actions. that's stupid and vindictive. ( he thought that angle would more effectively sway heaven. ironic , isn't it ? the devil peddling the idea of fair and just punishment to heaven )
he's also willing to give hellborn's actions a little higher degree of leniency. sort of. he sees many of their actions and behaviors as byproducts of what they are. succubi are lustful , imps are angry , etc. those are things are out of their control. it's kinda a nature vs nurture thing for lu. being lustful is in a succubi's nature. just as being a dreamer is in lucifer's nature.
again, it comes down to choices. it almost always comes down to choices for lucifer.
#aroyaltailor#𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖆. add a little bit of spice#i say he favors hellborn over sinners very loosely#again lu doesn't really care about anyone#*but that's just standard baseline on this blog#subject to change as plots develop
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#having mental health issues from such an early stage of development its like.#i have dulled myself to the prospect of joy because that theoretical was so unlikely#that to expect it was painful.#and the dull acceptance of just. baseline disappointment and depression is much easier to deal with#but then i get well enough that i see hints of what im missing.#and i get so mad at myself that i have crippled myself this way. that i took away the possibility even and i don't know how to find it again#i dont know how to just. be excited about things and be happy. so I sit there. still self isolating and self sabotaging. but like.#im a healthier more self aware way lmao.#but I'm still keeping myself from doing normal happy person things because I don't know how#and there's still that same sadness and regret that im wasting all of it. what i worked so hard for.the opportunity.#and im just paralyzed because i dont know how to want to be happy but im well enough to know that it isn't this#and you never stop feeling like youre wasting all your time and energy and potential and love#but it's still less scary than the alternative. because theres a sort of familiar comfort in disappointment.#that feeling when you get well enough to fully grasp what youve lost and well enough to be ao mad about that loss#but not well enough to to be brave enough to try#like. fucking hell man. anyways im fine. i think its just strange#being the first Christmas in like. 10 years not wasted. and its better. like genuinely it is all better.#but it's still not good.#personal post#brain drivel#*goes off to read porn*
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