#Deck Sanding Process

[cursedcola]

Prompt: Couples will evidently begin to mimic their better half after some time. What traits do you steal from him, and vice versa? Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Characters: Everyone - because I want to and I’m amidst fleshing out all my Yuu/Character dynamics + designs Format: Headcannons. Masterlist: LinkedUP Parts: Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia (Here) | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia A/N: I'm part of the 'everyone underestimates Kalim Al Asim , the layers of his character and upbringing' club. Sweet does not equal being a dum dum my dudes.

Habits You Steal:

Theatrics (Inherited): Kalim talks with more than his mouth. There's body language. Watch out when this guy gets excited because he might knock over a lamp amidst a rant. Hands are flying with each embellishment. He's pacing. Jumping. Energy is seemingly endless with this one. When Kalim laughs, he does so with his entire body without reservation. Head flying back, grin wide, shoulder shaking, etc. Not that he can't replace what gets broken but - y'know. Be careful else you might get bitch slapped on accident. Which normally wouldn't hurt too much but Kalim's decked out in gold. The last thing you want is a ring imprint on your left cheek because Kalim got too excited after a card game. On that note - someone get Jamil some aspirin because that excitement is infectious. You can be the most stone-hearted edge-lord on the face of Twisted Wonderland, but eventually his infectious sunshine attitude takes hold.

"A-Ah! It's okay! We can replace the lamp, so don't worry. Are you hurt? No, no. It's really aright. I'm fine, see? You missed me - can I see your hands for a second? OIII! Can someone please bring a med-kit! Thank you!" <- Jamil's already grabbing the broom before you can say sorry. This is the last time he lets you sit anywhere near fragile objects during a game of charades - or any game. Kalim was bad enough...but at least with him fretting over the tiny cut on your palm, Jamil could clean the mess in peace. At least until you offer to pay for the lamp. Kalim's got enough tact to lie about the price, and everyone's thankful. No one wants to see the Ramshackle Prefect have a heart attack for shattering a real crystal lamp. 'cause then Kalim will cry too and it'll just be dominos from there.

Personal Space (Inherited): Kalim tears away any sense of dignity, self-preservation, and privacy that might exist. In a good way, of course. It's not that Kalim is an open person. Quite the contrary. He needs to keep a calculated distance between himself and others due to his position as an Asim. Regardless of his happy exterior, never forget that Kalim is far from an airhead. Kindness doesn't equate connection - as much as Kalim would love for everyone to be his friend. Yet for those who are in that trusted circle? He treats them like an extension of the self. His lack of shame bleeds into your own perception.

Training and Resistance (Inherited and Developed): Kalim hates that you need to do this. He rarely 'hates' anything, but he despises that you need to worry about being poisoned. What’s worse is that you refuse to have a tester, or a guard, or anything of the sort. It all started with discussing the future with Jamil, who logically brought up the complications that come with Kalim taking a partner. You couldn’t be shadowed, were in a difficult position with the headmaster, and it would only become difficult once the duo moves back to the scalding sands. Even more once you join them (as NRC is merely teaming with prideful youths, while the Scalding Sands is a free for all).

Point summary? You need to build resistance to drugs and learn what to do in a hostage situation. The former is handled by Professor Crewel, and the process was explained in excruciating detail. Jamil, who’s undergone training, was unphased but Kalim desperately wanted you to back out. Yet it would mean needing a guard - which would be hard to arrange - and so…yeah. Many weekends in the nurse’s office. You also have to complete the hostage drills all Asims and their spouses are put through. How to escape bondage, how to last an interrogation, how to navigate without magic (which you could, duh, so basically without a map when stranded), negotiate, etc.

"Are you absolutely certain that this is what you want to do? I can still hire a body guard - there are many options available back home! You can spend our next vacation at the main villa and meet with them. We can - oh. y-you're sure?... alright. If this is what you want then I'll be there through every step. Just remember to ask if you need anything. I'll come running, no matter what."

Charisma (Inherited): Everyone underestimates just how dangerous Kalim is. Seriously. Nothing is more risky in a school like Night Raven College than dropping your guard. It can cost you your life - or at the very least leave you indebted to someone you do not want having dirt over your head (*cough*ACertianCephalopod*cough*)The gossip grapevine is a menace. Everyone has their pride. Everyone has their secrets. Everyone holds each other at arm’s length, even if you’re cordial or friendly. Everyone except Kalim, who has this innate ability to pry the most dirty secrets out of you simply through his nonchalant attitude. Nothing drops another’s guard quicker than a sense of security and superiority. People often mistake his genuine heart for nativity. They fail to recognize that it’s a choice, and deep down he is aware that the Al Asim name places him high above the people he sees as friends.

"Hm? Isn't that the alchemic lab on potionomics meant for second years? You're so smart! I didn't get to do that lab until just a few months ago! - it's not yours? Then why are you working on it?" <- game. set. match. You think he doesn't know what your handwriting looks like? He saw you lingering outside Crewel's classroom earlier and wanted to know why. Saw an opening. Took it. Is happy you’re helping out one of your other friends, but just had to make sure no one was bullying you into doing their work.

Since he truly believes that despite this gap, friendships can transcend - his ability to get information is uncanny. A power he can wield intentionally if need be, in getting you to name drop any person or problem posed. It’s a great quality to have! This way he can help and support you :) Why is this an inherited trait, you might be asking? Because as the next head of Al Asim, Kalim’s been studying how to do business since he was young. He’s going to teach you. Pray tell what is born once the Ramshackle Beast Tamer learns the ways of Scarabia’s master of charisma and resident sunshine child?…Night Raven’s downfall. Power couple. Dead serious right now.

Jewelry (Developed): Worth your weight in gold takes a new meaning. This isn’t in reference to being spoiled, mind you. This is about status and the meaning behind the jewels Kalim is imparting. The cultural significance. Considering that you’re not from twisted wonderland, you technically are a blank slate to all countries. Who better to learn from than someone who’s spent his childhood studying to become an expert in international trade? Kalim has enough tact to bite his tongue about the deep meaning behind the gifts. You may not understand just yet, but his excitement can’t be contained. Each bangle and piece from the family treasury has a small story. While he has no problem using his wealth to help people who need it, there’s a joy that comes from decorating his treasure’ in treasure. Y’know?

"Do you like it? This necklace was my mother's at our age. My father gifted it to her during a business trip to the Queendom of Roses. Ah - you can have it! Really! She has many others, and when I told her about you this was what she chose to have sent over. It's already yours! You can wear it to the next banquet, please?" <- Being the next head of House Asim, Kalim can't be with just anyone. Yet he seemed so happy in his letters, and Jamil vouched on your behalf - so this is your time to shine. Also, sending the necklace back would be like slighting his family's good will. You quite literally need to accept it.

Music (Inherited): Can you play an instrument? Sing? It starts out as wanting to be near him more - so you join the pop music club. Kalim, Cater, and Lilia are very convincing. So they push you to pick up something. Anything. It doesn't matter what, so long as you have fun with them. Even in the earliest stages where the notes come grated and your friends (Grim) make fun - Kalim is supportive without fault. His encouragement leads to proficiency and an appreciation for music. He'd love if you sing with him. Even if it's just a lullaby - no, especially so.

Habits He Steals:

Naming inanimate objects (Inherited): Your effort at making Kalim more money-conscious. The decite of sentimental attachment, if you will. It’s honestly a risky move to make considering the sheer amount of things that he owns, so naming everything is off the table. Yet it’s the silly things. Like seeing a face in the paintwork on one of his tapestries, and then deciding to dub it Artie. Oh no, Kalim we don’t need to get new artwork for the bathroom! What about Artie? It’s already pretty enough so lets just leave him there. No - no, that ring’s super pretty but the matching set from our anniversary is enough. We wouldn’t want Garnet and Pearl to think we were replacing them, right?

"I think Vinnie would work best on display, don't you? Purple and yellow are sure to catch people's attention from far away! Or maybe should we hang up Paolo? There are so many tapestries in Scarabia’s vault, I feel guilty only putting one up on display at our festival stall. Do you think they’d let us hang more?”<- It works. Kalim defiantly thinks twice. He's a bit like a kid refusing to give up their action figures after watching Toy Story, ya feel me?

Cooking (Inherited): Kalim is learning how to cook for himself as one step to being more self-sufficient. He only eats food that Jamil prepares, but with Viper’s seal of approval you’ve earned a pass. Essentially anything you both make with pre-approved ingredients is fair game. You pick a recipe every week, give Jamil the grocery list, and he makes sure to have the stuff in the dorm. Jamil is only okay with this so long as you supervise. Teaching Kalim is on your shoulders - and in all honesty? It’s an amazing bonding experience. Jamil can rest easy for a few hours and Kalim isn’t being thrown straight into the deep end. Obviously it’s only a small reprieve, and temporary since back at the Scalding Sands there are regulations in place. Kalim loves wearing matching aprons, humming little tunes while reading recipe books, watching cooking videos, learning about all the nutritional benefits in food, and really gets an appreciation after seeing how much work goes into his favorite dishes. There’s also that spark of joy when you sit down to eat, and it’s somehow one-hundred times better than eating with his family back home. Not that Kailm doesn’t love his siblings, but family really takes a new meaning when you see it coming together right before your eyes.

"Mph th-ish is sho gud! - how do you like it? Should we invite our friends to try some? It tastes almost like Jamil's! I bet if we keep at it, then we can cook up a banquet all on our own. That'll surely put everyone in a good mood!"

Skinship (Developed): Kalim is the type to initiate touch. Not receive it. If you look at his interactions with the others, he’s always the one throwing himself at them or being a vibrant glow-stick. Very few people give that back - and in truth? Like, honest to Seven truth? Kalim’s got no problem with it. Many people have bad intentions. Not everyone wants to be his friend, and that’s fine. They come to him looking to get in his good graces. It’s unnecessary…he’ll happily help without them twisting his feelings. All they need to do is ask. Do you know how easy it is for someone to prick him with a drugged needle? He’s not comfortable with physical contact that he does not initiate, unless it’s from someone he trusts. Like Jamil, Silver, Cater, his siblings, etc. Even they have a limit (which he’s confident will never be crossed, since again, Kalim is almost always the initiator). This list is subject to change…what, you think a family of 30+ kids can exist without animosity? He dreads the day he has to think of one of his little siblings becoming untrustworthy.

Anyways. Trust is a choice for Kalim. His happiness and extroverted optimism is all a choice. Sometimes on an unconscious level (*cough* his awareness of the divide between himself and Jamil, yet pushing the knowledge down until it inevitably hurt them both *cough*). So imagine reaching the point where he trusts you. It could be something small, like the first time you hug him from behind or lace your fingers together. Intimate. Not like Cater’s half sling over the shoulder, not like his little siblings hanging on his legs, or Jamil pushing him ahead while they walk. When he’s not initiating, and Kalim might hesitate for a moment. Hard to picture, I know, but by letting it be he’s choosing to trust you wholeheartedly. All in the span of like 5 seconds, and he might not even realize it until later on. Those of us who shine the brightest, usually have walls that are hard to see. Just some food for thought.

"Really? Really, really?? Really, really really??? Really - Ah! Sorry, I just can't believe it! There's so much I still don't know about them...but they're paying attention to me, huh? That's it! I need to work harder to be a worthy boyfriend! Starting right now, I'll become a better man!" <- Kalim. Sweetie. No. You're already the brightest boy. Your dormmates only brought the prefect's changes up to make you happy! I mean - mission successful? The goal was to motivate him and they technically succeeded. Just not for studying. He's 100% fired up with enough energy to run laps around the dorm now. He doesn't know what to do first, should he get Cater to help make you a playlist? Or have some flowers sent over? Would you prefer red roses or a mix of violets with chrysanthemums. Wait. Grim's 'technically' a cat, right? He should make sure not to send anything harmful to kitties. Maybe some tuna for him with chocolates for you? But this gift should be something you can keep. Ohhhh he is vibrating from excitement. He needs to show how much he loves you. Your attention and care truly means the world to him.

Habits You Steal:

Bug Spray (Developed): Jamil can and will throw you under the bus when faced with insects. Big hit to his pride, not his best moments, but he is NOT dealing with the absolute infestation at Ramshackle. You are spraying that place with heavy duty RAID if you want him over longer than ten seconds. If he so much as catches a GLIMPSE of a roach - nah. Just nah. He will shove that dustpan in your hands and send you to war. Don’t call him until it’s dead, the carcass has been disposed of, and you’ve wiped down. Grim’s a cat. Teach his ass to hunt. He needs to pay rent. You think he’s letting the flame-ball follow to the Scalding Sands after NRC? Jamil wants him on hinting duty for scarabs or else it’s time to prep hobo box.

“Burn it….Did you not hear me? I said. Burn. It. Better yet? Burn this whole damn building!” <-First night he decides to let Kalim handle Scarabia and humor you with a sleepover - and a giant spider decided to invade the shower. We’re talking big spider, maybe pregnant. Please keep in mind that during the VDC prep, Vil had Ramshackle deep cleaned. So the worst Jamil saw was a few ants. Now, the science club does meet in the Ramshackle garden often since you’ve cleaned it up, and Trey may grow plants that make the place insect central. Jamil was unaware of this. The gut wrenching scream that echoed through every room in the house. You’d think one of the ghosts pulled a cruel prank - but no. You didn’t even get a moment to investigate. The bathroom door flew open, Jamil running out still wet and drenching his pajamas. The death glare and spew of curses was the most genuine you’d ever seen him. Well, it could have been appreciated if not directed at you. Fix it or he will never set foot in this place ever again.

Spice Tolerance (Inherited): Not much to say here. He likes his food spicy. Sure, Jamil isn’t great with his words so his main love-language is bringing over tubbaware filled with food, and he does cater to your preferences more often than not. Except you undoubtedly will be eating what himself and Kalim eat most days. Which is packed with flavor. Grim isn’t complaining, food’s food. You? It’s funny to take a chomp out of ghost pepper like it’s a roma tomato, only for Ace to try and then start wheezing. Work them tastebuds, ya scrawny magic man. Heh.

"Can't handle the heat? Curry's a versatile dish. I could make something mild next time...you still want it? Why? Just because it's my favorite, doesn't mean you have to like it. Still not going to give it back? Alright. Lets see you clean that plate then." <- Flattered that you want to experience his favorite foods prepared to his tastes. For the record - Jamil likes it spicy spicy. Hotter than fiery vindaloo. Its an acquired taste and he really can alter the recipe if its too much. Won't unless you ask, because it's funny and oddly romantic seeing you sweat just trying to make him happy (Will hit the breaks in if you are getting sick from it. Does not play around).

Braids (Inherited): Paired with Jamil’s developed trait. Braids or hair beads - take your pick. Maybe both? Or a headscarf. His little sister - Najima, do you remember her? She’s the first Viper you get to spend time with during a trip to the Scalding Sands and gifts you either some hair beads or a headscarf as her unspoken blessing. Nothing fancy, and Jamil forced the coin in her hand for it, but she did take you through the markets while he was busy tending to other needs. It’s honestly really sweet, and Jamil will braid the beads or scarf in one of your side pieces of hair every morning (or wrap the scarf around your head. Not fancy like Kalim’s but still a knot he ‘insists’ will look better if he does it since you’re inexperienced. He could teach you. He won’t.)

Silence (Inherited): Shit just does not phase you anymore. Ever heard of the inability to keep calm until there's someone more panicked nearby? Jamil embodies this, being surrounded by emotive people all the time, and his perpetual state of indifference physically does not allow you to feel unsettled. If Jamil isn't bothered, then neither are you. It's that simple. Resting bitch face is contagious. Jamil's ability to handle Kalim comes in handy for raising Grim. You can now ignore his baby face and daily begging for premium tuna. Little kitty needs to expand his arsenal of tricks, because your will is stone.

"Bad day? Grab a cup. The dorm's usually quiet for the next hour. I'll be there in a moment." <- Queen never cry. If anything actually does phase either one of you, it normally ends the same way. Plopped on the floor of his bedroom, sipping hot tea and staring at the wall in comfortable silence while stewing in mutual suffering. Eventually you give him one of those starry sky projectors, and y'all ill stare at that instead. If it's a problem that has a tangible solution then it gets solved. Easy. This is for the 'yeah, life sucks' moments where all you can do is let it be before getting back up again. At least you have each other.

Habits He Steals:

Braids (Developed): Jamil can easily do his own hair. A flick of the wrist and it magically braids itself. Ebony locks carry memories of pain, growth - and change. Small change. Yet change nonetheless, which seemed impossible years ago. There’s something very intimate that comes with fixing another person’s hair. You’re not proficient enough to handle his cornrows (or are you? To his standard? As fast as magic?) but Jamil’s fine with changing his hair style to a simple triple braid, or a braid-band using the framing pieces that can crown around his head. So long as you do it for him every morning.

Fix-It-Felix (Developed): You know that one type of dad? The one who visits your home and looks for imperfections. He comes over, puts fresh produce in the fridge, mends the nail holes in the wall and fixes that one loose board on the steps that you made a habit to avoid. Barely says two words during his visit but seemingly solves half the problems you were procrastinating? This is Jamil. 100% Jamil when he comes to Ramshackle. He needs to make himself useful. And to scold someone. Grim more often than not, but you’re not safe. He really goes ‘bitch you live like this?’ at least once a week. Then proceeds to take preventative measures like a textbook tsundere.

“I put tangerines in the fridge since winter is coming. You need to be getting enough vitamin c and - where’s Grim? Don’t let him eat them all and make sure he knows not to light the fireplace tonight. There’s some cleaner on the bricks that needs to sit for a few hours…you know what? I’ll go with you to get him. Grab your heavy coat, it looks ready to rain.”

Dancing (Developed): Jamil participates in solo-dance during his downtime. It’s not like he had a partner to do duos with. Jamil also was not interesting in cozying up to a stranger just to learn a dance he would rarely have a moment to indulge in. Kalim’s the one who mentioned this in passing to you. His intentions were pure, of course. Just as they always are. He signed you both up for a ballroom dance class as a present for officially becoming a couple! Jamil finally had a partner and time to try, so why wait?! The vice in question wanted to deny since (1) who has time for that, (2) it was off campus, would take three hours out of every weekend for a month and (3) The chance of embarrassing himself was higher than he would like. Yet Kalim is smarter than most think, and purposefully handed the gift to you. Not Jamil. Along with the excited embellishment that Jamil could now do this ‘long desired’ class that really wasn’t high on his radar.

"If it makes you happy...then I don't mind. Just try to avoid stepping on my toes. Otherwise I'll demand compensation. What do I want? Wouldn't you like to know, prefect." <- Five seconds in and he yields. You weren't going to let him out of it - no matter what excuse Jamil came up with. He'll put up with it and get back at Kalim later. The chance to spend time with you for that long is rare, and Jamil isn't the type to squander opportunities. No matter his personal feelings on the 'gift' in question.

Except Jamil finds the entire experience pleasant and hates that it’s all thanks to Kalim. Dancing with you is entirely different than dancing alone. It’s clumsy, new, and honestly tiring since he needs to lead. Especially in anything fast pace like a quickstep or to swing. It’s also three hours out of the week that Jamil isn’t maintaining his composure. Just you, him, and the instructor since Kalim splurged on private lessons. It’s liberating and Jamil wants to keep with it far beyond after the class ends. Even if it’s just slow-dancing in the common room to one of those vintage records stowed at Ramshackle. Seven, let him have this.

‘We’ instead of ‘Me’ (Inherited AND Developed): Automatically assumes that any invites are for you too. Jamil is used to thinking this way. Except the ‘we’ applied to Kalim, with Jamil as a plus one. Jamil did not want to be part of that ‘we’. Hence why he would only refer to Kalim when laying plans out. ‘Kalim has dance lessons at six, then dinner at seven, then study until 10 and then bed. Tomorrow, Kalim’s going to a banquet head by the treasure’s family and then returning to campus.’ The unspoken truth being that Jamil’s schedule matched. He followed, but was never on board with being Kalim’s ‘we’. He has always been a ‘me’ and made an active effort to preserve all his ‘me’ moments. For someone so self-aware…Jamil isn’t sure when he began to view you as his ‘we’. Only that when you auto-included him in everything…it was less strenuous than with Kalim. Far less. Easy to adapt. In the past, Jamil believed a partnership to be another chain. Perhaps being a ‘we’ was never supposed to hurt.

“Thanks for the invitation, but we’re staying in tonight…. No, not Kalim. The Prefect. What? I’m not speaking for them. If my word’s not good enough, just go ask the prefect yourself.” <- Other people might look at him and think he’s treating you like Kalim. Oh, how wrong they are.

Texting (Inherited): Jamil’s not used to someone keeping tabs on him. You’re going to see him within the hour, why does he need to call before going to wake up Kalim? Why do you need a text that he’s back in his dorm before you’re able to sleep? Why do you show up in Scarabia at one in the morning, throwing rocks at his window, if he forgets? (Jamil never forgets. He just had to reign in some rowdy first years and couldn’t catch a break. It was on his mind. Really.) It’s not the worst demand. A five minute call while he’s prepping breakfast and a few messages to know he’s going to rest are a small price to pay. Turns out a little rundown of his day before bed makes sleeping a ‘little’ bit easier. Huh.

“I don’t see it.” <- A lie spoken with the most monotone tone possible. Jamil rolls his eyes over the rim of his mug, taking a sip before turning the page in his book. Najima scoffs before returning to her magazine. She can say he’s softened up all she wants. He won’t admit to it. Doesn’t mean she’s wrong in the slightest. Jamil’s well aware that hopes and wants denied to him from birth have begun to stir within him. No matter how small the changes may be, Jamil isn’t foolish enough to give those emotions his attention. Not if he wants to keep them. Good things always escape his grasp…his wounds are too fresh to get comfortable just yet.

[sheepispink]

hi bb, this is incredibly self-indulgent, but I have a very big idea for ur Ghost and his Sergeant. I'm terrified of the ocean so ofc I need her to be nervous over this mission that's by the coast. she's never said anything bc it's never been necessary, but she can't hide her nervousness from Ghost tho he doesn't pressure her to say anything for now. so when they're done w the mission, they all decide they'll take the next day off, and it's a given they'll go to the beach, right. I need her to be nervous but she's like, chill, staying away from the ocean, until the guys lift her up and she's like rolling her eyes until she realizes they're taking her to the ocean w quick steps, and suddenly she's SCREAMING bloody murder, and Ghost gets his head out of his ass (bc he was buying idk ice cream or a drink idk), and runs over when the guys set her down on the sand, trembling and tearing up, unable to stop herself from being weak and AHHHHHH ur writing would make this cuddle session so fucking GOOD

UR MIND IS LITERALLY AMAZING BECAUSE THIS?? THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA

anyway, as promised, plenty of fluff, plenty of comfort, very yummy story (i hope)

enjoy!!!!!

WC: 4.1k… (😧)

————-

Missions tended to blend into each other when a soldier got too comfortable—an autopilot you were happy to live with for a long time. Though, that was before you were promoted to a Sergeant which still felt like yesterday no matter how long ago it had been. You had soon learned that no day would ever be the same, especially after you were properly taken into Lieutenant Ghost’s unit, rather than the occasional team-ups. It was a big change that’s for sure; it’s not the difficulty, but rather having to prove your worth to a whole new unit. At least your old unit you were pretty much leading; this was like starting from the bottom again, in a way. It shouldn’t prove to be too hard, considering your reputation was holding up nicely.

However, you did have a small weakness; everyone did though this was one that you definitely didn’t want anyone else to be aware of any time soon. So, when the news of another mission came around, you were positive it was something you could handle. Until the news came that you’d travel by ship, having to stay on it for at least two weeks. It’s not even like you had time to process the news, bundled into a truck as you travelled down to the coast. You’d be travelling far, tracking down some bombs that are being transported on a number of different cargo ships travelling across the Atlantic ocean. More importantly was figuring out if they were actually active bombs or rather just sitting ducks–either way, it was something that needed to be dealt with immediately. Considering you had completed a course in demolitions, of course you were immediately necessary for this, so there wasnt even any backing out now. Thankfully, there was a chance you wouldn’t even have to cross over the murky waters, safe on the ship instead. Still, there was no guarantee that nothing couldn’t go wrong.

Ghost wasn’t stupid, he could clearly see just how hunched your shoulders were in every conversation, no matter where you were around the ship. He sees your small flinches everytime a small wave slightly shifts the floor beneath your feet, or the larger ones that spray onto the deck whilst you’re surveying the surroundings. Not even you can hide the quick darts of your eyes each time a small rumble of thunder sounds out overhead nor the teeth marks in your lips when you look out the window for a little too long. One thing that he couldn't possibly ignore, was the widening of your eyes and the anxious tap of your foot as you slowly filed out of the briefing the day before you departed. The only question was to confront you or not. After all, everyone has a weakness and yours may not even be that serious to compromise the mission. It seemed on the same level as getting mad at someone for being woken from a bad dream, or at least he didn't want to embarrass you by possibly blowing it out of proportion.

He was right for the most part, and you had completed the mission as expected– even if your heart was practically pumping out of your chest when you had to cross to the cargo ship and assess the crates for any trace of explosives. Since it was growing closer to summer, he figures the unit may as well stop over by the beach that’s only a one hour drive from the port. Your fellow teammates are excited of course, and so are you, happy to be on ground again even if the ocean will be metres away; anything was better than hovering above it though. As soon as you arrive, a few of the guys drag you along to a local shop, all of you filtering through the aisles to find the best floaties and water guns available.

Ghost leans against the car with his arms crossed over his chest, tapping his foot like a father with his rowdy kids. So since you all act like children, he counts down from ten, watching you and the others scurry and scramble into the seats of the cars. It’s almost laughable at how you all look, pool noodles around two soldier’s waists, water guns gripped in one of the other’s hands and wait– who put a bucket and spade in the boot?

Free for all, except this isn’t the battlefield, no it’s a damn beach and once your feet touch the warm sand, all of you are dispersing into different directions. Ghost looks around, trying to figure out where everyone went in the five seconds he turned to grab the cooler bag, only to see you lounging on a sunbed. He has to admit, he was curious as to how you’d navigate a situation like this with your clear fear. But now he can only scold himself as he slowly approaches you, your head turning before you beckon him over with a wide grin. You’re a trained soldier, you’ll be perfectly fine.. right?

He drops his duffel bag down beside you, getting comfortable on the sunbed as the others run along the beach like bumbling fools. Accidentally he must’ve let out a scoff because you laugh, turning to look at him as his brows unintentionally furrow. “What? They’re runnin’ around like they’re six.” He says gruffly, trying to get comfortable on the small and flimsy sunbed but failing when he realises both his legs barely fit.

“You’re just boring, skullface.” You know he hates that stupid nickname, but it just motivates you to use it all the more. Still, his eyes are more focused on the nervous tap of your fingers against your leg, your jaw slightly clenched as you look out at the soldiers running around near the water.

“Oh? I don't see you making sandcastles.. or splashin’ around either.” He watches you freeze at his last words, his eyebrows slighlty beginning to furrow in deep concern. You were so far from the water, practically at the top of the beach but you still looked agitated, like you were just managing to glue it all together.

”Hmph, I'm relaxing before I beat all of you in snooker tonight.” He highly doubts that’s even slightly possible, but you’re quite adamant on the former as you stretch out and get ready for your midday nap. Of course, how could he forget your daily necessity? Regardless of that, he sticks firmly by your side, satisfied that you werent so nervous that you wouldn't be able to nap peacefully— or maybe that was because he’d scare off anyone in a 5 mile radius just with that mask alone. He settles on watching the waves lap until he gets bored enough to aimlessly scroll on his phone, unable to find anything to captivate his attention long enough. Damnit, you were rubbing off on him. After stealing your book for a bit, the heat of the sun finally gets on his nerves and he heads towards the small bar, looking for a cool drink. Just before he leaves though, he adjusts the umbrella above where you lay, a little worried that you’d overheat in your sleep but your head feels fairly cool against his hands, for now at least.

Footsteps, they’re soft in your ears muffled by rocks that are kicked. There’s small snickers too, coming from different directions and no matter where you try and run to chase one, they always appear right behind you again.

Splashing, it’s colder now, a breeze washing over your body and making you shiver.

Strain, your arms feel tight, as do your legs, like you’re being stretched like those stupid toys that were always advertised but you never actually got.

“Is she up yet?” A voice says, so close yet so far.

“Nah, still out.” Accompanied by laughter.

A splash of water on your face has you attempting to sit up only to fail immediately, your wrists locked in a tight hold, ankles kicking restlessly. “What? Who—?” Your head turns frantically, confused and instinctively wanting nothing more but to be free.

“Chill out, we’re just giving you a little diving lesson.” The soldier who you’d giggle with on patrol holds your legs, laughing at your shocked face. As you look around, you realise the fellow soldiers you’ve shared meals with for two weeks have kidnapped you from your napping spot, carrying you somewhere.

It’s fine, they’re your friends, they wont hurt you.

“Hey! I was sleeping very peacefully y’know.” You huff, playfully though still half awake, rolling your eyes as you slacken your protests.

”Yeah, drooling too.” The one holding your wrists laughs as the one walking alongside them pinches your cheeks. Damnit, they’re so damn annoying all the time arent they? Ghost’s right, they’re like little kids with the way they ran straight into the ocean—

Ocean?

Your head snaps to the side, managing to strain your neck only to see that the one holding your legs has already stepped towards the shore, water now splashing gently onto the sand beneath you. “Hey— wait, where are you taking me?” You’re thrashing around now, panic bubbling in your throat as your nails press into the soldier’s hand, scrambling for them to let go. “Oh come on, just a small splash.”

You hate their laughter, you hate this, you hate having to watch the waves rise over his foot as they carry you in, your heart thumping louder with each second. “Let me go!”

They don't listen— why wont they listen?

The water is up to his ankles, too high for your liking and you’re not scared anymore— you’re fearing the worst. Images flash through your mind, the horrible splashing of their steps louder than the pounding in your head.

You kick, wriggle, squirm, anything and it’s useless— why is it so useless?

Their steps are making droplets splash on you, the water is growing higher, ready to consume and you’re cold, too cold even with the sun burning through you. Cold with soaked cheeks.

Ghost hears the screams first, so high it almost sends him into a frenzy only nightmares have brought him crumbling to. He doesn't think, spilling the can of coke without a second thought as he runs over, sand kicking up with each heavy step of his stupid army boots he wears all the time. The crowd of soldiers are shoved to the side by his hands, carving a path directly to you who now sits in the sand right by the shore, trembling so harshly as you pull your knees to your chest, albeit with great struggle. “Woah, woah, you’re okay— you’re not wet. See? Sand, look you’re on the sand.” But you’re too far gone, your hair falling over your face as you hunch over, hands grasping at nothing but the air. Your face is starting to grow wet from the silent tears,trickling down your cheeks and kissing your legs, the wet feeling making you fear the worst has happened.

“What the hell are you all staring at?” His Lieutenant's voice comes back like it never left, the soldiers standing to attention just as fast and scrambling away before they feel the wrath of the man before them.

You’re trying your best to shovel it all in, all the fears but it’s near impossible, not when you can still hear the splashing, not when you can hear the laughter of the kids down the beach. Not here.

“Up we get, come on.” He places his hand beneath your arms and hoists you up to stand, one hand slipping behind your back to rub up and down, trying to get you to your senses. “You’re all dry, okay? Nothing happened, you’re alright.” He’s trying to keep his voice as calm as he can for you but it’s near impossible when you’re looking like that before him, like a person whose nearly missed death. Dammit, you didnt even look this bad when you were shot in the leg, and that was a pool of blood to say the least.

He leads you away from the shore, bringing you to a small cobbled footpath away from all the cafe’s, loud icecream vans and children screaming about needing to pee. His hand continues to rub slow circles, continuously soothing your trembles as he reminds you to breathe in and out. Only when everyone was out of sight did he pick you up properly, hoisting your legs to wrap around his middle as one hand pushed your face into his shoulder. “C’mon, let’s get you into the car, okay?” Sure he should’ve done that way earlier, clearly by the way your hands were shaking like crazy. But if he knows anything about you, he definitely knows you don't want to make a scene. Being seen as weak is practically the worst thing for you, not that he thought what happened made you weak, but he already knew what you’d be saying if he had swooped you up right then and there in front of everyone.

“Ghost— i..” You begin to sniffle out but he shakes his head, firmly patting your back in confirmation. “Nope. Quiet— don't wanna hear it.” He carries you further down the road, turning into the empty parking lot near a small block of houses. Finally he reaches the car, windows tinted to hide you as he opens the door with one hand, a low groan escaping him before he finally settles you in the backseat. Going around to the boot, he opens it quickly, grabbing a spare towel he brought and rummaging through a bag that was supposed to be for the team’s silly movie night later. Not that he’d participate, but he felt giving them some snacks would be a good mission well done.

Your eyes are locked onto your knees, refusing to look anywhere and your face has dried up, slightly red from how harshly you had rubbed at your eyes. He settles in beside you, about to offer you a drink when you’re clenching the seats, eyes already tearing up once more.

“It’s fine— really, i just- I was just a little shaken, they didn't mean it, I wasn’t properly awake yet and it startled me. ” You ramble between breaths, unable to find an excuse to rebuild your dignity in time but he just lets out a long breath, anger clearly holding back. A soft towel is draped around you, covering your upper half entirely as he folds it over your front.

“You dont need to explain. It’s fine— i dont like the damn beach either.” He mumbles out, not sure how else to express the fury he feels that you had to feel that terrified, more towards himself for leaving you alone when he knew you were uneasy. All he can do for now is place an arm around your shoulders as you continue to quietly sniffle and tremble at the shock and horror you felt in the past ten minutes. You were clearly uncomfortable too, and how badly he wanted to tell you that he didn't care if a colour terrified you, nor a tiny butterfly; he just wanted you, as with the few he really cares about, to be comfortable and happy. Never should someone have to face their fears like that, he knows what that can do to a person. But he can't word it properly, can't express how you’re the strongest he knows and the smartest and every other good adjective in the damn dictionary because you are that. And he refuses for you to believe otherwise just because the majority aren't scared of the same things you are.

Your nose presses into the sleeves of your shirt, eyes scrunched tight as you try to will the tears away. “I’m sorry.”

“No.” It’s stern, too harsh, but he doesn't know what else to do, just wanting to wipe that miserable look on your face. “There’s nothing to apologise for.. Do you need me to leave?” He asks, suddenly wondering if you’d calm down quicker if he just left you alone. Of course you would, who would want this stiff man rubbing their back while crappily convincing them that they’re not drowning and just got a scare from a stupid idiotic prank? He could at least speak a bit more, reassure you that whatever you choose is fine but nothing comes to his mouth. You shake your head thankfully, refusing to let him leave you alone.

“Are you annoyed with me?” Your voice is quiet, so quiet, and he hates that you feel this small. You should be smiling and having fun like everyone else, not tearing up infront of your lieutenant who you just barely felt comfortable around— or well, he thought that was the case.

“Never.” He says gruffly and he’s caught off guard when you hug him tightly, one that has him stuttering to breathe for a moment. Though his shock is quickly broken when your sniffles pick up, quiet sobs hitting his chest head on. He wants to complain, beg you to stop crying because not even he can bear to see you like this. But he knows whilst it pains him, you need to let it out for all the weeks you’ve been terrified for and stayed strong. His arms wrap around you just as tight, his chin resting above your head as he feels his shirt wetten by the second.

“You’re stronger than me.” He murmurs quietly, one hand gently rubbing your shoulder as he just sits there, letting you take whatever ounce of comfort you somehow receive from him. “You could’ve given up long ago but you didn't. How could I be mad at someone who's worked so hard to keep the rest of us safe even when they didnt feel safe themself?”

Oops. He might’ve made you cry a lot harder with that one, and his eyes widening show his momentary panic as he tries to soothe you again, tucking you as close as possible.

You settle a while later, pulling away just enough to wipe your reddened eyes. His eyes are softened as he looks down at you, partially glad he doesn't have to burn alive in the sun anymore and can just spend time with you in this car.. though it’s warming up pretty quickly. You seem to have the same thoughts as him because you look up, unable to stop a little smile crawling onto your lips. The sight is bright, even the tears in your eyes making them sparkle more than usual. “Why’re you looking at me like that?” He asks, hoping you’d keep doing that a little longer.

“You’re sweating like crazy..” You’re half tempted to snicker, but it comes out more like a sniffle and he just lets out a breathless sigh, rolling his eyes as he squashes your cheeks. “I do all this and that’s what you say? You’re a minx, yknow that?”

Well, he supposes it is your day off, and he’s restless as it is anyway. So, he pretends to huff at you, even if you see past him instantly, and slides out the seat beside you to get into the driver's seat. You follow, climbing into the passenger seat and he straps you in before you can even try. He rolls down the windows after he starts driving through the town, letting the summer air refresh you all while he’d occasionally look over every time he got caught in a little traffic. . But you looked like you needed a moment to gather your thoughts and yourself, so he’d give you that, for now at least.

He takes you to the nearest mall, hunting down one of those ice cream shops, but not something basic, no, that’s just boring. “Amorino?” Your voice is muffled by the skull mask he reluctantly let you borrow— but you looked uncomfortable walking around with the tear stains still on your cheeks, so he relented quickly.

“Pick your flavours.” You get your two favourites, picking them both until he urges you to pick another, not that you can decide. “Can't you just pick your favourite for me?” That’s how you end up with a cone in your hand, a pretty flower shaped ice cream right on top with each of your flavours curved into petals. He sips his milkshake, watching as you stare in complete awe as you both walk through the mall. “How— what? This is sick, Ghost!”

“If you keep staring at it, it’ll melt before you even try it.” He watches your eyes go wide, quickly licking up the sides to catch any melting parts before instantly grinning at the overwhelming sweetness. “This is like— top tier!” Though he does end up facepalming when you grip his sleeve tightly, groaning about a brain freeze.

He lets you try out the crappy claw machine games, and then even tries on one Hawaiian shirt all while you’re giggling so hard you almost trip over. He has to hold your wrist after that, but you don't complain, using it as an opportunity to drag him wherever you want, and he follows.

It’s almost seven pm, and he takes you back to the hotel since you and the team planned to get dinner. He still had to have a virtual briefing with Price, so you would be on your own for this one. They’re waiting for you in the lobby, the three culprits from before standing anxiously. “I’ll be in the car, on the phone to Price and the others.” It’s a silent offer, giving you a chance at any time to return to where he is and sit in the back if you need to get away for whatever reason. He’d prefer to be beside you, but at least this gives you a safe way out. “Alright, thanks. I’ll head in now— just make sure you grab something to eat too? Okay?” You give him a smile, before you awkwardly step inside the hotel, approaching the others. Ghost’s hands tense, fists clenching as he watches for any sign of the idiots acting up again. Thankfully, they learnt their lesson and they immediately apologise to you, frowns on all their faces before lighting up when you extend your forgiveness to them. You were scared they’d laugh at you, but Ghost knew that they saw you like a little sister— even if they were absolute idiots sometimes. He decides to leave you after watching you leave the hotel with them, heading for a restaurant down the street as you link arms with a female soldier you know, grinning.

It’s late when he hears a soft rap at the hotel room door, confused at who could possibly knock at this hour. “It’s me, Lt.” Werent you supposed to be watching movies with the others?

“Come in.”

You open the door with the keycard he gave you earlier, dressed in your pajamas and with a bowl of popcorn in your hand. Quietly you walk over to where he lays on the bed, settling on the other side as you place the bowl between the two of you. This is how it goes for the next twenty minutes or so, you scrolling through your phone and watching stupid videos as you nibble on the popcorn all while he continues to read his book, occasionally grabbing a piece of popcorn just to keep you happy. It only ends when he catches you yawning from the corner of his eye, one, twice and thrice. “You should get some rest. You’ve had a long day.” He hums, flicking to the next page as he continues to read but the words aren't really going to his head in the slightest, his mind fixated on you.

“Hm.. okay.” You sigh, before placing your phone onto the bedside table and tucking yourself beneath his blankets, now watching him from your position smushed against his pillow.

“You have your own bed, Sergeant.” He states, raising a brow but he’s particularly careful not to lower nor raise his voice, keeping it central as he looks at you and closes his book.

“Hey, you said I was welcome if it was an emergency.”

He did say that, perhaps a long, long time ago when you first came bundling into his life before he even knew you that well. Besides, it’s not like he planned to actually kick you out. So for now he just lets out an empty scoff, goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth before turning the lights off by the switch. The room is shrouded by darkness and you look around, wondering where he went, when two arms wrap around your front, bringing you forward against his chest. “Don’t make me regret this.” He says gruffly, but you know he doesn't care all that much, and he knows that your playful facade is trying to hide the trembles that still linger in your hands when you hear the ocean lap outside your room’s window. Tonight, he’s holding you tight and never letting you go; he’d be found dead before he ever lets anything snatch you, whether that be the ocean, someone, or even fear itself.

———

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[gav-san]

“No Takebacks" 9 (END)

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"One of Us, Forever Now" Word Count: 2.5K+

Previous

You didn’t know this supply stop would involve warlords.

There was no memo. No strategic debrief. No whispered warning while you sipped your morning tea and adjusted the straps on your satchel of disinfectant wipes.

Instead, you're standing on the dock in your best scowl, sipping tea from a travel mug that says “Emotionally Married, Spiritually Armed” when Benn Beckman: stoic, unflappable, probably already regretting everything, murmurs out of the side of his mouth:

“Brace yourself.”

You don’t get the chance to ask why.

Because he arrives.

You were prepared to be unimpressed. Honestly, you had planned for it. You’d heard the stories. “Greatest swordsman in the world.” “Cold as ice.” “Can kill with a look.” You expected the edge. Drama. The general scent of blood, leather, and an unresolved rivalry, with a hint of eyeliner.

What you did not expect… was perfection.

Dracule Mihawk steps off his ship like a man personally offended by the concept of grime. He’s wearing full black leather—crisp black leather—and somehow not sweating. His coat sways dramatically in the absence of wind. His boots shine like they’ve never touched sand. His beard is lined. His hat has no lint. No one has no lint.

You squint. Scan him from hat to heel like a customs officer at the end of their shift.

Nothing.

Not a speck. Not a smudge. Not even a hair out of place.

Even his sword is polished. You can see your own annoyance reflected in it.

You, in your sensible boots, travel-stained cloak, and utility belt full of antibacterial wipes, suddenly feel like a disgruntled librarian crashing Fashion Week.

“Is that leather?” you ask, almost accusing.

“Yes,” Mihawk replies, voice dry as imported wine. “And clean.”

You twitch. “How?”

“I’m not married to your captain.”

Shanks, several feet away, chokes on air and lives.

You inhale through your nose. Deep. Dangerous. The kind of breath that could power a war crime.

“You know what? Fine. Great. I hope your laundry folds itself and your moisturizer never runs out.”

“It doesn’t,” Mihawk says with calm finality. “I have a system.”

You glare. This man has a system.

Even you don’t have a system that gets leather that crisp after sea travel. You’ve tried. It always ends with humidity and muttering threats at mold like a feral exorcist.

Shanks leans in, barely containing laughter. “Jealous?”

“I’m offended.”

Mihawk glides away like a gothic swan in head-to-toe couture. His coat billows behind him as if it were blessed.

“I’m going to bite him,” you mutter.

Shanks beams. “As your husband, I cannot approve—”

You whip your mop at him like a divine judgment. Benn catches it midair with the resigned grace of a man who’s already picturing his escape goat.

“You’ll be mad about this for weeks,” Benn sighs.

“Years,” you growl. “Leather. On a ship. And it was clean.”

Somewhere on deck, Mihawk polishes a wine glass like he knows.

Later. Much later. After the warlord has gone and a well-dressed swordsman has thoroughly challenged your self-worth, you decide to process things constructively.

With threats.

“Hawkeye’s ship has no mold,” you say one morning, inspecting a suspicious smear on the railing like it’s personally offended you.

“Mm,” Shanks hums, upside-down in a hammock. “That’s because he sleeps in a coffin lined with rejection.”

You ignore him. “He has a skincare routine.”

“So do barnacles.”

“He wears leather.”

Shanks sits up. “You want leather? I’ll wear leather.”

“You’ll sweat. You’ll smell. You’ll cry and beg for talcum powder.”

He pouts. “But I’ll look cool doing it.”

You sip your tea. Smile. It’s sweet, dangerous, and full of vengeance. “Maybe Mihawk would treat me to leather that breathes.”

Shanks blinks. Once.

Then stands.

Then walks away.

You assume—foolishly—he’s gone to sulk like a rational pirate-husband.

He returns ten minutes later. Shirtless. Smirking and wearing leather pants.

They creak when he moves.

You drop your mug. It hits the deck with a clatter loud enough to make a nearby crewmate flinch.

“You absolute menace—”

“I will not be replaced,” Shanks declares, standing like he’s on stage at the final act of a very dramatic opera. Shirtless. Glowing. Wearing leather pants that creak with every self-righteous breath.

“Yonko rules. Pirate law. Also—” he lifts a hand, fingers wiggling—“I copied the marriage license again. And laminated it. So legally? You’re stuck.”

You stare at him.

“You laminated a copy?”

He beams. “Triple laminated. Waterproof. Fire-resistant. Mold-proof. You’re welcome.”

“You don’t even laminate navigation charts.”

“Those don’t keep my wife from eloping with that emotionally stable steak knife.”

You inhale. Sharp. Controlled. Murderous.

“Where is it?” you ask flatly.

He grins wider. “Hidden. Somewhere… poetic.”

You blink.

“Did you hide it in Mihawk’s hat again?”

Shanks gasps. “How did you know?”

You throw your second mug. It misses. He catches it mid-air and toasts you with it, smirking.

You blink. “You touched his hat?”

“I fear nothing but losing your approval.”

Then he steps forward, voice low, arms sliding around your waist like a sea-born threat. “Try to leave me,” he murmurs, “see what happens.”

You narrow your eyes. “What happens is I marry Mihawk and live in a minimalist coastal estate with organized spices and a bidet.”

He growls.

Then he lifts you bodily and flops you onto the nearest hammock.

“Fine,” he mutters. “I’ll clean the kitchen. I’ll wear the gloves. I’ll get conditioner. But you are not,” he kisses your neck, “leaving me,” kisses your collarbone, “for a man who dresses like a villainous steak knife.”

You lie there. Heart pounding. Pride obliterated.

“…Maybe I’ll visit Mihawk,” you whisper.

He throws you over his shoulder. “THAT’S IT. BRIDAL CAPTIVITY.”

And somewhere, far off on a misty cliffside, Mihawk sneezes. Delicately. Then glances skyward with a faint frown.

“…I feel watched.”

Meanwhile...

Benn Beckman stands at the edge of the deck like a man awaiting a tidal wave made of taxes. His cigarette burns low. His patience burns lower.

Behind him, chaos.

Lucky Roux is chasing a deckhand with a ladle. Yasopp is locked in a philosophical debate with a mop. Shanks just ran by shirtless, shouting “EMERGENCY SEDUCTION PROTOCOL,” and you? You’re in the crow’s nest, hurling annulment forms like shuriken.

Benn lights a second cigarette off the first.

“If I fake my death,” he mutters, “I could open a bookstore. Sell maps. Sleep eight hours.”

Someone screams. Something explodes.

He doesn’t flinch.

“Just need a small island. A roof. Coffee. Maybe a goat.”

Shanks appears beside him, barefoot and glitter-covered.

“Hey, Benn—guess what she called me this time?”

“No.”

“She called me a moldy towel with abs!”

“…She’s not wrong.”

Shanks claps him on the back. “You love us.”

Benn exhales smoke into his face. “I tolerate you.”

“Same thing!”

You scream from above: “IF HE’S IN MY SOAP AGAIN, I’M SETTING THE BATHROOM ON FIRE!”

Benn doesn’t blink.

He stares at the sea.

And mutters, “I’m retiring next year.”

He’s been saying that for ten.

Not even the goat he hasn’t bought believes him.

The crew still isn’t clean.

Not really. Not ever.

There’s always at least one sock drying on the helm, waving like a cursed flag of defiance. Someone used your backup toothbrush to stir coffee last week, and then returned it to its holder proudly, as if they’d done you a favor. You caught them. You labeled it. They still did it.

You’ve accepted—grudgingly, bitterly, through clenched teeth and disinfectant spray—that the galley will never meet your standards. Lucky Roux genuinely believes that boiling water counts as “sterilizing” everything from kitchen knives to his actual elbow.

You complain.

Loudly. Daily. Systematically.

And yet...

You’re still here.

Somehow, through divine punishment or karmic slapstick, the mop-based marriage still stands.

Shanks calls it “our sacred union of rum and questionable decisions.” You call it “a bureaucratic nightmare soaked in liquor and regret.”

Because the truth is…

You didn’t mean to marry him.

Not really.

You were drunk. He was very charming. And you were halfway through a bottle of something called “Sealegs” when the barmaid clapped her clipboard, declared you hitched, and started sobbing tears of joy.

You did check, later, furious, sober, and wielding a quill like a weapon.

Turned out, she was a legally recognized officiant in two of the four seas.

You don’t talk about it. Not with Shanks. Not with Benn. Not even with Hongo, who tried to diagnose you with “psychosomatic marital distress” and ordered a week of bed rest while handing you tissues and a vitamin regimen.

But still… You haven’t left.

Ports have come and gone and passed like lifeboats of logic while you stayed stubbornly, irrationally on board.

You’ve stood on docks, hand on your satchel, spine straight, fully prepared to walk away.

And yet, you’re still on this damn ship. You stopped trying to escape two ports ago.

You still make the tea just the way the crew likes it. You still correct the maps when someone confuses “northwest” with “nah-weast.” You still spray people with disinfectant in the middle of a conversation.

And when they dodge? They laugh.

When Shanks calls you love, you roll your eyes, but you don’t correct him.

When Benn casually asks what port you’ll disembark at next, you smirk and say, “The cleanest one.” You never pack.

You’re not happy about the wedding. Not really. Not in a traditional, bouquet-tossing, fond-memory kind of way.

You did not want to wake up married to a barefoot Yonko with sea salt in his hair and a grin that could undo years of trauma.

But the truth is...

The ship’s not so bad.

There’s laughter. There’s chaos. There’s precisely zero personal boundaries, and you’ve caught two grown men trying to sanitize a cannon with mouthwash, but there’s also... something warm beneath the grime.

There are good stories. Bad hygiene.

And, unfortunately, fun.

You’ll never admit it. Not out loud. You’d rather mop the entire sea.

But when the crew yells “Welcome home!” every time you step back on deck, when you find your favorite tea restocked, or a new notebook tucked in your drawer, or your ring quietly polished and left beside your pillow like a promise…

You don’t say anything.

You just mutter, “Still disgusting,” and make damn sure they wash their hands before dinner.

You’re not happy. Not really.

But you’re also not leaving.

Because love, apparently, is a Yonko. One who cleans for you.

It’s not flowers. It’s not poetry. It’s certainly not common sense.

Love is you, standing in the corridor of a ship that smells like old rum and new regret, hands on your hips, glaring with holy fury at the man who ruined your life by accidentally making it bearable.

Shanks leans in the doorway of his cabin, shirt unbuttoned just enough to be suspicious, sleeves rolled like he’s ready to do either housework or heresy. His grin should be classified as a maritime threat. His voice is a felony all by itself.

“Wanna see my cabin?”

You blink.

You smile. It’s not a kind smile. It’s the kind of smile pirates whisper about in cautionary tales.

Then you turn, take two purposeful steps to the storage closet, and return with a bucket, a mop, and the cold steel of intent.

“Absolutely,” you purr, hefting the mop like a weapon forged in bleach and personal boundaries. “I can’t wait to disinfect the sins out of it.”

Shanks pauses.

Winks.

“You’re really into foreplay, huh?”

You toss him a pair of gloves. Not pink. Industrial black. The gloves of someone who has seen things. Survived them. Labeled them.

“Put these on,” you say sweetly, “before I throw you into the bilge.”

He catches them easily. Grinning. Hopeless. Gleaming with that same rogue stupidity you married into without your knowledge.

He’ll follow you in. Of course, he will. He’d follow you into the sea if you told him lemon-scented miracles were waiting on the ocean floor.

Because love, in this godforsaken floating germ colony, isn’t candlelight or roses.

It’s bleach.

It’s threat-based romance.

It’s shouting “WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE TOUCHING ME” in front of the entire crew and meaning it.

It’s you, him, and a bucket full of industrial-strength disinfectant.

That’s your holy trinity.

And damn it…

You wouldn’t have it any other way. (Not that you’ll ever say it out loud.)

Regret is waking up in his cabin.

Naked. Warm. Annoyingly well-rested. Shockingly clean.

The sheets smell like soap and danger. Like someone finally took your rage-stained cleaning schedule and whispered romance into it.

The air is quiet. Too quiet. And the smugness radiating off the man beside you is so thick it might even qualify as fog.

You open your eyes slowly.

And there he is.

Shanks.

Single arm thrown across your waist. One leg tangled possessively with yours, like you’re driftwood and he’s the tide. His red hair is a disaster across the pillow, the kind of beautiful chaos only someone like him could turn into charm. His mouth curves in his sleep like he’s dreaming of winning an argument he never even entered.

Like he knows.

You stare at the ceiling.

You want to scream. Or dive headfirst out the porthole. Or travel back in time and slap yourself the exact moment you said: “Fine. Show me the cabin. But I swear to God, if it smells like feet—”

But it didn’t.

Because the bastard cleaned it.

Deep cleaned. Marine-standard, you-standard, divine-level cleaned. The walls were scrubbed. The floors were swept. The sheets were new. The air smelled like lemon oil and repentance. The candles weren’t even crooked. There were shelves. Organized shelves.

And the mop you’d left behind as a threat was still in the corner, polished. Standing upright. Respected.

And then he leaned in, maddeningly close, voice soft with triumph, and whispered:

“See, sweetheart? All clean. Now there’s nothing between us.”

You blame the soap. The lighting. The fact that he was wearing shoes and didn’t track in a single grain of sand. You blame the fact that, God help you, you noticed his hands were washed correctly.

You didn’t mean to sleep with him.

You were supposed to win.

And yet, here you are.

Naked. In his bed. Again. In a marriage you didn’t agree to, beside a mop you’ve grown emotionally attached to, and lying next to a Yonko who now knows he can seduce you with lemon-scented order and a lint-free throw blanket.

Regret is real.

So is the slow, maddening smile still curled on his face.

You grab the nearest pillow and shove it over his face, not with murderous intent, but just enough pressure to remind him that you are choosing violence today, but in a soft, therapeutic, married kind of way.

He laughs beneath it. Muffled. Smug. Completely unfazed. Like this is a morning routine now.

“Good morning to my favorite wife,” he says, voice distorted by cotton and cheek.

You hiss like a vampire caught in direct sunlight, clutching the sheet like it wronged you. “I’m your only wife.”

“Mmhmm,” he agrees, utterly unrepentant. “That’s what makes you the favorite.”

You press the pillow down harder.

He snorts.

Then, with the slow, luxurious confidence of a cat who’s claimed the warmest spot on the bed and the owner’s affection, he stretches under the covers, arms above his head, toes pointed, torso bare, grin criminal.

“Turns out,” he drawls, blinking up at you with those lazy, sea-glass eyes, “cleanliness is next to godliness.”

You stare at him.

The mop was still respectfully standing in the corner.

At the sparkling shelf of neatly folded towels behind his shoulder.

At the man who deep-cleaned a pirate cabin just to impress you and then had the audacity to be hot about it.

You throw the pillow off him with a groan and flop onto your back beside him. “I hate you.”

“You love me,” he says, rolling onto his side.

“I hate that you’re right,” you grumble, glaring at the ceiling.

He leans in and kisses your temple, obnoxiously gentle. “Which part?”

You shove your foot into his thigh.

He takes it as a cuddle.

[claudiafrankie]

Soul Purpose/Why Are You Here?

Disclaimer: Tarot is not an evidence-based practice. You are in charge of making your own decisions.

Pile 1: Abundance

Hey pile 1! You picked the Abundance oracle card. Your tarot cards are the 2 of Swords, 3 of Swords, and the King of Cups.

As I was shuffling I was focusing on the imagery of your oracle card. I strongly got the feeling of being kind of put on the spot. You are having to make quick decisions. It's like the shape in the center of the card has so much going on around it. It's chaotic! The figures filling the picture look like sea creatures to me - sea urchins, those glowy jellyfish that live in the bottom of the ocean, sand dollars... All floating around in the current but in this big, condensed cluster. It's kinda dark in there but there's some sun coming through the current above.

Under sea kelp beds, that's the environment. You're here:

You're not quite sure what all you're going to come across. Cute fish... shark... friendly anthropomorphic sea otter wearing a news cap and suspenders... multiple sharks...

It's a little creepy/ominous but more importantly very beautiful and serene and otherworldly.

You're swimming through this kelp garden and you don't know what you're going to find, and all kinds of different things are going to pop out at you, you're going to have a lot of options in a lot of different areas in your life. You are not going to be someone who is stationary for very long. I think if you are stagnant and still (something you may struggle with) you aren't happy. You are bored more easily than others and have a deep craving for knowledge and novelty, absorbing every last drop of life that you can.

I think in human design, generator people's tell-tale sign for being out of alignment is frustration, they thrive off of having choices to pick from. This helps them feel inspired and like they are getting more out of life. Maybe you are a generator in human design, I think that is the most common type. You are a person of the people, you are salt of the earth, you care deeply for humanity and always pull yourself back to center when you catch yourself straying. You don't let things get to your head as much as you could.

It also looks like there's a chromosome in the center shape on the card. You are here unraveling karma from your past lives and for your ancestors. You are probably dealing with karma that you didn't create personally but exists in your bloodline. The bottom of the deck is the ten of swords - there are mostly sword cards here, with the king of cups standing out as the only water card. This is very Ardra energy in vedic astrology - strong, turbulent, powerful and stormy emotions. Ardra's deity is Rudra, a form of Shiva - who rules over storms. You are clearing out ooooold emotions that have been rotting in your family tree for years. You are finally processing some long-neglected baggage and releasing it.

The combination of the progression of the two to the three of swords, ending with the King of Cups suggests to me that you are going to become a true master of your inner world. Your lens you look at the world through will reach a level of clarity previously unknown to you and likely to your family. You are in tune with the environment in an electric way, sensing the humming and buzzing and shifts in the pitch and tone of the current washing around you. You let it all pass through you, understanding the futility in pretending to be unaffected. You let it pass through you, and you let it be there, and you don't let it shake you. For this reason others will cling to you - the RWS King of Cups sits on a throne carved from solid stone. It is anchored in tossing waves with a grey sky suggesting storms ahead. He looks calmly onward. People will view you as a shock-absorber, someone who can weather catastrophe and guide others through difficulty. I think this is where you are headed, but maybe aren't there quite yet.

Other people might get away (or at least seem to) with pushing aside their pain and never really dealing with it. You aren't one of these people. Your path to fulfillment is through making difficult decisions, sometimes ones where there really isn't a good option. Some of these decisions could affect other people as well. I see this as your heart existing in your head. So much compassion in tandem with a razor-sharp mind. Highly analytical, meticulous, maybe even fussy, combined with glowing warmth that can only be achieved by facing hardship.

There could be a significant male figure in your life who guides you, and you may not recognize the significance of his impact on your life until he's no longer in it. This might be someone you only know for a short period of time before parting ways. Maybe at the time of meeting them it's too overwhelming for you and it doesn't end so well, but the more you digest the relationship over time and think about what you learned from them, the deeper you understand the purity of this person, and the reasons why he navigates the world the way that he does. I think, going through hardship yourself and choosing to remain soft and gentle, you recognize this as a lesson you learned from this person. It's brave to continue believing in people. Also, it's possible to do it without being naive.

This pile knows the true meaning of unfairness. You know what it means to be made to feel selfish for taking care of yourself. You know what it means to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, to be going through immense difficulty behind the scenes and still getting through the days treating people with kindness. Yeah you just see and feel the pain in others, you sense their stories even if it's just a stranger. You probably walk away from getting coffee and wondering how the barista is handling their breakup even though that was your first encounter with them.

Pile 2: Phenomenon

So right off the bat, Chappel Roan's song Feminomenon might be of significance lol. Maybe that song you was on repeat for you this summer, or you are LGBTQ+, or in some way don't fit in with the norm. Chappel Roan is famous for her drag outfits and crazy makeup and big hair - you could be into style, fashion, hair/makeup. Or maybe you are wanting to get more into these things but don't know how? Maybe you are struggling with expressing yourself right now, and this is a recurring struggle you deal with. If you are struggling with it, I think it's because it's actually something you're really good at - I think you have a natural eye for fashion and art, it's just that you need to reconnect with this part of yourself, and that re connection process will help you get deeper and better with and at it.

Next to your Phenomenon oracle card I pulled the Nine of Cups, Ace of Cups, and the Page of Cups. So all water, you are definitely here to learn how to express your feelings. I think you often feel like sharing how you feel makes you self-centered or you're "making it all about you," even though it ironically helps your relationships because you connect with people better when you're emotionally honest with them.

I think currently you're at a pretty comfortable spot in life. You've worked really hard and have been very much in your earth energy - taking care of your body, keeping a clean home, focusing on consistency at work and in your self-care and discipline. You've worked really hard to get here, and you're finally learning how to give yourself credit for it.

However, I think it still feels like something is missing for you. Looking at your cards (from right to left), the Page of Cups is offering the Ace of Cups to the Nine of Cups. The cup you're looking for, the special sauce that you are missing right now, is connected with your inner child. I think while working on improving your earth energy has been wildly beneficial for you (maybe you're successful for your age, or just really good at keeping your shit together and running a sane life for yourself) you have lost a little bit of touch with your inner softy.

I think you're probably cringing at that too, a little bit lol. Like "man I don't have time to cry and play in my coloring book I gotta pack lunch for work tomorrow" hahahaha. But honestly, if someone has that mindset or thought process about playfulness and fun, they need that energy the most!! In your list of things to do over the weekend that keep your life tidy and chugging along, you are being called to add something wholesome and fun in there.

It's easy to get in the swing of daily living and going through the motions, and it's not wrong at all to pride yourself on your ability to keep a tidy ship. BUT lol that doesn't mean you have to lose out on some harmless chaos and unstructured fun times. You don't let yourself let your hair down as much as you could be. Obviously don't go out and go crazy and do something dangerous lol and if you're not ready to go clubbing every weekend you can start small! Maybe there's a bakery near you that you haven't tried with kick ass muffins, go try that place out. If you're really particular about cleaning your place, try cleaning it in a more 'chill' way if that makes sense lol. Try out letting go of intensity and a "I just need to get this done" attitude. Maybe that means the floors won't be as spotless after mopping than they usually are but hey, they're still clean right?

Yeah I think what's really coming through for this pile is letting going of perfection and holding yourself to unrealistic standards, so much of your power lies in fun, and not just fun but also facilitating fun. Lifting up the people around you. With the Ace of Cups in the middle of your spread, you guys are here to out pour to those around you. People are enchanted by you and think you live a charmed life, they are envious of your innocence, your lack of care for/about status and authority. It's refreshing (i mean, these are all cups cards lol) on multiple levels! You might not notice how your inner child lifts people up, and how just one conversation you have with someone leaves them feeling nourished after you walk away.

Pile 3: Vulnerability

Hey pile 3 welcome!

You guys picked the vulnerability oracle card and your tarot cards are the four of pentacles, the ace of wands, and the magician. This is the description for your oracle card:

"As the flower opens and offers itself, the butterfly says "yes." Opening and exposing ourselves to new possibility comes with risk, but also holds the potential for great reward. Be willing to share your gifts with the world, allowing the acceptance and recognition vulnerability can bring."

This one feels pretty damn straightforward haha, you guys are here to build literally any life that you want to. I am looking and these cards as a progression - the man in the four of pentacles seizes the ace of wands and becomes the magician. Literally he lets go of these four measly pentacles, grabs the magic wand, and become the magician he was always meant to become.

You guys have sooooo much power within you. Your manifesting skills are truly off the chart and it seems like right now you're not really sure what to do with this gift. I think you could be feeling overwhelmed by all the possibilities. You are probably the kind of person who has a lot of different interests, can feign commonality with just about anyone because you're smart and absorb knowledge like a sponge - so you have tidbits of information on a huge range of topics. Someone will bring up in conversation that their grandparents berry farm is suffering because of a disease or certain kind of pest in the area and you're like "oh yeah I've heard that those types of flies are invasive and it's like becoming a widespread problem" lmao.

You could be a gemini mars or north node - the tarot card associated with mars in gemini is the nine of swords - literally analysis paralysis is your guys' biggest obstacle. You have everything in your head, but you struggle to bring your creations to life. I wouldn't be surprised if you guys are some flavor of neurodivergent, maybe ADHD or on the autism spectrum. You are ahead of the times.

I think this pile is similar to pile one because I'm getting an ancestral element for you guys. I think the women in your family have packed on years of frustration because they were made to believe that they just can't build for themselves. The women in your family line have sat with huge creative potential but the fear they carried prevented them from being able to actually use it to birth their ideas into the real world. They saw their fathers and brothers and husbands go out into the world with so much confidence, maybe with less skill or more boring ideas, and create success for themselves. I think you should know that it was not all sunshine and roses for the men in your family - there was such a huge amount of pressure to achieve and earn and perform that they didn't even really get a chance to really choose what they wanted to do. They just knew that it was expected of them to do well and provide for their families.

But the women, ah there is so much rage honestly. You have the chance in this lifetime to channel not only your own creativity but that of your mother, her mother, her sisters, etc. I think when you create it's a full experience for you. Like it's not that you don't phone it in, it's that you can't. You can't make something and not be fully in it. I think this might be part of your blockage as well - you tell yourself that if something you make isn't perfect or exactly as you envisioned it in your head, then it was a waste of time. It wasn't. I think if you allow yourself to be messy and be a little more process-oriented, you can really get the ball rolling for yourself. And honestly probably process a lot of those packed on emotions from your family.

You are someone who can get quick results in things if you really put your mind to something. Right now it seems like your task is to sift through your daydreams, then after that you can start taking some little steps towards making something happen. Even if it's something tiny you do to get closer to a goal, it's still really important for you guys especially to really celebrate that. And really mean it when you celebrate! If you guys work a job you aren't crazy about to pay the bills like so many of us do, maybe you have been drained or just don't see how you have the time to make one of your interests something more than just an idea in your head.

This is going to be a process of re-parenting yourself in a way. If you belittle your accomplishments and progress towards the things you really want to bring into the world, they will slowly shrivel up. You wouldn't make fun of a kid for trying something new and not being amazing at it, so you can't do that with yourself. You deserve support and love on your journey, not only that but you need it! You have the power to create the space for yourself to thrive in, and then thrive in it! You guys are honestly like buzzing with electricity. I think sometimes you have so many ideas that you get confused and tired just thinking about all of them, and maybe you act out in frustration but your not even sure why your upset. There are parts of yourself that have not been given enough attention, and once you start letting them out in the light they can show you what they can help you do in this life.

I think too that getting more in touch with your sexuality will help with this process, getting more in your body and letting yourself feel sexy and sensual, really being in the moment with your body and then carrying that energy with you in your endeavors. Yeah let yourself be a horndog lol it will help you reach your goals

Best of luck pile 3, not that I think you need it hahaha

[alwayssassydreamer]

Cold Waters Warm Hearts

Day 26 of Kikitober

A/N: sorry this feels a little rushed but i didn’t have much time to write. (Maybe i will make it up with another one once i have more time)

Plot: Killer goes overboard and you have to save him

Warnings: smut, nsfw, p in v, MDNI

Characters: Killer x F!Reader

The crew was out in town gathering supplies while you and Killer decided to stay behind, guard the ship and have some peace.

The day was rather cold and windy but you took the chance to have some rest on the deck feel the sun on your face without someone being annoying.

You grabbed a book and sat down on an old barrel. You wanted to get something to drink but couldn't put the book aside and since no one was here you decided to keep reading while walking.

Not your best idea because you didnt see Killer who was leaning against the railing the moment he turned around he bumped into you slipped on something and lost his balance - going overboard.

"Killer" you shouted throwing the book aside and jumping after him. The water was freezing cold but you were so full of adrenaline that you payed it no mind. Killer was already sinking when you finally grabbed his shirt.

Damn why did he have to consist of only muscles. With some effort you made it to the surface, both of you taking big gulps of air.

"Thanks" Killer panted as you dragged the two of you to the beach.

You collapsed on the sand right next to Killer breathing heavily.

"I'm so sorry" you gasped not able to move.

"It's ok, should have watched out for you" he said slowly getting up offering a hand to help you.

You took it shakingly. Not because you were nervous or something but because you were freezing.

"You ok" he asked as your body started to involuntarily shake.

"No I'm gonna freeze to death" you complained

"Don't be so dramatic" he teased.

"Am not, but I'm pretty sure I'm frozen the ground" you whined making him chuckle.

"Well i guess we'll have to get you to the ship as fast as we can" he said as he picked you up pressing your body close to his.

He carried you into your room where he carefully placed you down.

"You should get out of your wet clothes" he said as he looked for a blanket or something to wrap you in.

You got rid of your soaking clothes standing there for a moment completely naked and shaking.

"Here this- fuck sorry" he said as he wanted to hand you a cosy blanket but caught your naked form immediately averting his gaze.

You chuckled as you stepped closer to him taking the blanket and wrapping it around you.

"Thanks" you said.

You were sure that he blushed underneath the mask.

"You're soaking too" you exclaimed motioning to his clothes.

"Never mind I'm fine" he said but you stepped closer closing the gap between you. You carefully tugged at his shirt before pulling it up. You expected him to hesitate or even pull away but he didn’t. He let you take it off.

You gasped looking at the muscular body in front of you. Enjoying the sight. Your hands reached for his pants as you looked up to his mask.

"Maybe I should go change too" he suddenly said grabbing your hands making you stop.

You sighed a little disappointed but respecting his descision. He made his leave as you stood there processing what just happened.

You were shocked by your own actions. You'd have never thought to be brave enough to strip in front of him, nor reach for his clothes to take them off. Sure you were having a crush on him for quite some time, even Kid noticed that but Killer seemed oblivious to this.

Suddenly you felt a little ashamed for what you just did. You were the reason he fell into the water but he was the one making sure you are warm.

You wanted to make it up to him so you decided to fill the tub and have him take a long and relaxing bath.

You put on some comfy clothes and made your way to Killer.

You firmly knocked at his door.

"Come in" he shouted as you carefully slid in. You had to take another deep breath as he stood there only wearing his underwear.

He reached for his clothes but you stopped him.

"I prepared a bath for you" you said as you reached for his hand not waiting for him to say something and carefully dragged him out of his room and into the bathroom.

"You really didn't-" he started but you cut him off.

"It’s the least i can do after more or less pushing you into the sea" you explained fumbling with your fingers.

"Now get in and enjoy it while the others are away" you said as you turned around, waiting until he made himself comfortable in the bathtub.

You took your shoes off and sat down on the edge right behind him, your legs hanging next to his left and right shoulder.

"What are you doing" he asked a little nervous but at the same time also curious.

"Helping you relax" you smiled as you ran your hands gently through his hair before putting it aside and placing them on his shoulders.

You could feel the tension. You started applying light pressure as you began to knead the muscles. Your fingers moved in slow, rhythmic circles, gradually working out the tension with firm but careful motions. You could feel him relax into your touch.

When he grabbed your hands to make you stop.

"That was amazing thank you, but don't you think you should be the one in here - you were freezing to death not me" he suddenly said not letting go of your wrists.

"You need this more than me. Not only because of the unwanted swim but also because you're constantly on your feet. You barely have time to relax." You explained leaning forward resting your chin on top of his mask.

"I'd rather have you join me" .

His words caught you off guard and startled you, not going unnoticed by him. He let go of your hands as you lifted your chin from him. He tilted his head back so he could look at you. Your cheeks flushed.

"Come on I don't bite" he teased as you smiled at him.

You got up and took your clothes off. You hesitated for a moment but then got in sitting down next to him.

"Guess it's my turn to massage you" he said as he motioned for you to sit down in front of him.

"No"

"No? Come on let me do something for my savior" he teased.

"You wanna do something for me"you asked biting your lip.

"Tell me how i can help you relax"

"Would you take your mask of" you asked shyly, heart racing.

For a moment neither of you said a word until he moved his hands to the mask and took it of.

Finally you got to see his handsome face and those icy blue eyes that sent a ahiver down your spine.

"Wow, didn't expect you to be this good looking" you teased as you carefully dragged your fingertip along his cheek.

He smiled. If you were freezing before you knew that that smile was now warming your entire body up. Your heart skipped a beat your eyes were lost in his.

he grabbed your hand and placed small kiss on it, shifting his body so he could kiss up to your shoulder. You giggled his touches sending shivers down your spine and goosebumps along your arms.

He stopped at your neck and pulled away looking at you. You leaned in and gently put your lips on his.

As you pulled away you stared at him, both of you smiling. You let out a shriek when he suddenly pulled you into his lap your boobs pressed against his chest, while his cock brushed your core.

"You don't even know how long I've been waiting to spend time with you alone" he whispered his lips brushing your ear.

"And all this time I thought you were oblivious to my advances" You said as one of your hands caressed his cheek while the other wrapped around his neck. His hands were tightly wrapped around your waist, holding you as if he was scared you'd slip away.

You kissed him. This time more passionate, even gently biting his lower lip and pulling at it as you broke the kiss.

You could feel his cock twitch and before he could say something reached one hand down slowly and gently teasing it.

He looked at you smirking as you were biting your lower lip giving him a seductive smile.

You adjusted yoursel, his cock now at your entrance before slowly lowering yourself onto it. Both off you gasping.

One hand tightened around your waist the other grabbed your hair pulling at it making you tilt your head slightly. He pressed your body closer to his and started licking and biting at your chest before focusing his attention on your nipples.

You both moaned loudly as you rode him slowly at first but you picked up the pace as it got too unbearable for you. You hissed as he kept biting your skin definitely leaving marks, while your nails digged into his shoulders.

You leaned down to kiss and suck on his neck.

Screaming his name you finally came and it didn't take him much longer to fill you up.

After reaching your highs you smiled at him giving him a long and passionste kiss.

"Had i known that pushing you overboard would lead to this I'd have done it much early"

[t1ts-4-donaldson]

more pirate art and mermaid reader please please please!!!

Pirate!Art Donaldson x Mermaid!Reader meeting for the first time

Pirate! Art always goes to the same spot every night to catch a glimpse of you for weeks since he last spotted you. His friends think he’s crazy claiming that what he’s searching for is cursed not meant to be discovered by those who walk on land.

Patrick insists that it’s the rum he drinks whenever they go out late at night it brings out all the fantasies he hasafter having one too many pints of rum while gambling coins away stating that Art's wasting his time, "you should be focusing on pussy above sea level” Patrick grunts almost toppling over the blonde boy the smell of alcohol and sour musk making art cringe "and you need a bath jesus" he shoves Patrick off of him.

Art is completely undeterred.

It’s the same process tonight slowly walk up the wooden steps from below deck making sure not to wake the sleeping men hanging from their hammocks and make shift cots. He silently walks across the deck and jump off the ship sprinting down towards the shore, he sits and waits on the dock gazing towards the open ocean until he hopefully sees you.

He almost gives up when It's past midnight but stops in his tracks when something bobs up and down on the horizon, small ripples on the surface of the murky water meeting sand.

His throat feels tight when he spots the mysterious creature that's been leaving gifts for him, a woman, you. Absolutely beautiful in every way glowing under the moonlight your scales glimmering different hues of blue and green under the surface.

you flinch the minute his feet give way on the wooden planks Art's heart stops not wanting you to escape. This was the first time he'd ever seen you and he refuses to fuck this up.

"wait." He whispers raising his hands in surrender "I'm not going to hurt you just please-" his voice cracks "don't leave.." he begs. He feels pathetic realizing how desperate he sounds the entire crew wouldn't let him live down how whipped he is but he doesn't give a damn, he's been craving you for so long.

it takes all of you not to swim away he can tell, to dive back into the watery depths but you'd been fantasizing for so long too. Watching him move about the ship hidden behind rocks or below the belly of the ship. It made you feel like a creep at first, stalking a man who might actually be terrified of you and your condition but your crush pushes down your worries.

you find the courage to mumble a soft "hi.." it makes Art's heart soar.

"What's your name?" He asks voice barely above a whisper thinking how this is too good to be true.

You quietly mumble your name swimming closer "what about you?" you ask.

"Art, I'm Art." He mutters absolutely mesmerized. He laughs at how ludicrous this is the mermaids actually exist.. he might be in love with a mermaid.

The action makes you wary "why.. are you making fun of me?" You furrow your brows drifting back not realizing it was from a place of admiration and awe

"no, no way never!" he stammers "just.. I never thought this would happen.. they all said I was crazy. Patricks going to flip out." He rambles.

You've heard that name "Patrick? the the crude one?" you chuckle.

Art's jaw drops, you've been watching me.. us?"

you nod meekly "I've been leaving all my treasures.. I hope it wasn't too forward." you wince the idea of turning him off.

"it's the nicest thing anyones ever done for me.." he smiles softly reassuring you, "except for when Patrick let me win that one sparing match for a prize but that's another conversation" he rants

"is he your lover? Patrick?" you question cocking your head curiously, trying to tamper down any jealousy you feel

"no just friends.. we've done stuff but um it's normal guys just being friends" Art blushes it's endearing "nice guy's being friends" you snicker, "I have a friend like that too.. Tashi she's perfect" you gush.

It throws Art off bubbling sense of ownership making him feel guilty, you're not an object to keep 'Tashi' his face sours

"but she's not you!" you shake your head consoling him "no one could ever be you.." He smirks a little bit of cockiness bubbling inside him you like him too the idea getting to his head.

panic sets in as the sky begins to lighten "I need to go, I'm sorry" you sputter the onslaught of sadness hitting you in waves, leaving him here crushing your heart

"how can I see you again I need to see you please." Art rushes forward into the water

your brain clambers for any ideas when something pops up, "here" you hand over an old conch shell covered in seaweed and barnacles he glances up confused.

"Speak into it and I will hear you." you clarify "I will come when I can"

you reach out and take hold of his fingers in your webbed hands a relieved sigh leaves Art's lips as he closes his eyes, actual heaven. He hears a splash and opens them just as quick staring at open waves as if you were never there.

[insomni-frog]

How the Salty Shark Crew would react to someone asking if they would still love them as a worm. Don't ask why I wrote this, 3 am boredom hits hard—okay.

Captain Caviar

-Takes this question far too seriously.

-He's asking logistics: what kind of worm are you, are you a common jelly worm, a sand worm, a cream worm; how big are you, as a worm are you still you sized, or are you as big as the average worm; do you still have all your memories, like have you just woken up as worm one morning, or is this a hypothetical where you were born a worm.

-He won't stop, this is a monster of your own making.

-You don't even get a clear answer, it's undecided if he'd still love you as a worm.

-Although he does say he'd carry you in his coat pocket, so that must mean something.

Blue Coral

-You never should've asked him this question.

-"Why, are ya' planning on turning into a worm sometime soon?"

-He brings it up constantly; you'd be having a some what pleasant conversation about what you'll be doing today or tomorrow, and then he rears his head into your conversation to ask if you'll be doing this before, or after you turn into a worm.

-But after he's thoroughly taken the mick out of you, he does say that yes—he would still love you as a worm.

-Although now he's asking things like if you'd still love him as a sea cucumber; but it's the small victories that count.

Staghorn Coral

-"Yeah! ...nah, yeah, nah, yeah!"

-They're just like the captain, witches save your soulstone.

-Honestly the answer for if they'd love you as worm changes every time, you won't be able to get a clear answer from them.

-The consensus is yes, however you need to be a cool worm as a bare minimum.

Candy Diver

-Yes, they would.

-The only one to give a clear answer right out the gate, funny isn't it.

-Their thought process is that since you still love them, even if they're not quite a cookie anymore, then it's only fair that they would still love you the same—even if you somehow turned into a worm.

-What a sweetheart.

Bonus: The Rookie

-You asked them if they'd still be your friend if you turned into a worm, and they gleefully said yes.

-Problem was they took the question a bit too seriously, after they had time to think about it they worried you were really going to turn into a worm—why else would you ask such a question?

-Like yes they'd still be your friend, but they don't want you to turn into a worm. How would you be able to do all the things you like doing if you were a worm; what if you had to leave the crew because of it!

-They're almost in tears, and when someone asks them what's wrong they confess that you're going to turn into a worm—and they don't want you to turn into a worm!

-Yeah, you end up swabbing the deck for putting the Rookie through such emotional stress.

[burstinn]

Eldritch Octo! König x Male reader

I want an x male reader with eldritch König. I always find x female :(( so I made one for myself.

Can be read as Gn! reader but targeted audience is male or people with he/ him or he/ they

Warning: Translated German, Non-con?, Forceful relationship/ toxic relationship.

Striking and sliding your legs out of the wreckage of your teams ship. Coughing out blood and sea water as you suck in a breath.

Burying your head in the sand of an island you managed to get onto.

The sand was cold. So was the air. You were cold. You turn your body to look at the wreckage or what's left of the wreck. A few scraps float to the island you sat on.

There were no other survivors or none you could see. You didn't even know why and how this happened.

You were just down at the docks then you heard an alarm go off making you sprint upstairs to the main deck. Seeing the panic and screams of your team running around.

You tried to ask what's happening but no one answers. All to consumed with whatever happened to make them panic this hard. They we're all scrambling around. You could hear some Shooting rounds some shouting orders others running past you to get downstairs.

Then everything went blank you couldn't remember what else happened. Just a loud bang and you wake up floating on some scrap then you saw this island. You must've passed out. It's a miracle your even alive I mean you were unconscious the whole time.

Did an enemy pull out a surprise attack? That could be possible. Was there something wrong with the ship? Also possible..

You let out deep shaky breaths. You were probably the only survivor on that ship. You tilt your head from side to side looking at this lone island you were in. Behind you looked almost like a jungle you couldn't see past the bushes and trees contributing to how it was night. It was eerie

Weird. It looked like a huge island. It could possibly fit a colony or small village. He couldn't remember seeing this on the map.. Is this an unmapped island?

You stay silent. That's odd...no sounds of animals not birds, not predators or prey hell not even crickets. How could an island be this big but no animals?

Your thoughts were cut short when you hear someone walk on the sand. You flinch swiftly tilting your body to see who it was an enemy? A teammate? A wild animal?..

You sit up. Wait.. That's not.. Right..

It's a 6'10 man walking towards you. Wearing military uniform? A hood hiding his whole face only showing his eyes.

"W-What the-"

You mumble out. Was there a search team already? Why was a lone military man in this island?

"Hello, schatz. I finally get to see you"

He spoke with an Austrian Accent. He spoke with familiarity like he knew you. But you didn't know him. You shakily stood up when he was close to you. Carefully balancing yourself and getting a position to run if this man tries anything.

"Wh-Where is your team? Where are the other soldiers? Who are you? Are you a search and rescue?"

You quickly asked narrowing you eyes in suspicion. Which only made the man before let out a gutteral laugh.

It made him smile seeing you look so strong and cautious even getting in position to sprint away from him. Adorable he doubts you'd even have the time to process what he would do before you could even start running.

"No no schatz, I'm not here to rescue you. I'm here to finally make you mine!"

The Man says normally a glint in his eye. Enthusiasm in his voice as he steps closer.

"Excuse me? This is no time to fucking joke- who the fuck are you?! I swear if I-"

"I'm König" he cuts you off, "there's no need to tell me your name I already know everything about you, bitte come here. Let me finally hold you"

You step back as the man.. Named König held out his arms expectantly waiting for you.

"What the fuck are you talking about?! No! Where are your soldiers?! W- How do we get out of this damn island?!"

You hiss. Screaming at König the hint of authority, anger and fear in your tone. Which made König's enthusiasm fall. He didn't like that tone you were giving him.

He hoped you'd be more submissive.. More cooperative with him. You can see under his mask, his mood shifts.. So did König's tone something more mocking, angry, sinister.

"Ruhige Schlampe, You don't leave the island. I won't allow you too meine liebe. You are confused, it's sad you don't remember what happened"

He responds. Chuckling as he doesn't waste no time to quickly walk over to you and grabbing your arm.

"Das ist traurig Schätzchen, it's okay I'll tell you. I destroyed your ship. I killed everyone. So I can finally have you."

König cooed in your ear. Placing his gloved hand in your cheek.

Your stood frozen.

Is this guy joking? There's no way- but he

"Nein, I am not joking. I can feel you are scared do not worry I will take care of you. I will keep you here in this island.. With me.. Forever"

König hummed as he wraps his arms around you. He just read your mind.. Just when you were about to open your mouth.. To scream, to tell him that this isn't some funny joke.

You felt something wriggling under König's mask. Then something wet and sticky hit your face then multiple wrapping around your face.

You let out a yelp being quickly muffled as you look down and see tendrils.. Octopus like tendrils wrapping your face.

After an agonizing moment of feeling wet slimy tentacles slink around your face some even going in your mouth.. And you felt something touch your lips.. This felt so uncomfortable.. It felt so.. Disgusting..

Then König pulls back leaving circle like marks on your face. You let out a sharp gasp you couldve pushed König but He was holding onto you. You couldn't even move.

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT WAS THAT?!? GET OFF ME GODDAMIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

You screamed so pathetically. It was music to König's ears he had dreamed of this day for so...so long. To hear you whine under him. To make you be his. He knew you'd put up a fight that's what he likes about you.. So strong, brave... He go on and on about why you even had the privilege to get his attention.

But he did this for you. Making an island and killing off anyone who'd get in König and your romance life. This was enough of a testament for his love for you. And you would understand it. You should be grateful.

He deserves you now that he'd shown his deep adoration for you! He'd make sure you will.

"Do not be scared schatz, we can be together of you just let me do this. Bleiben wir zusammen"

König pulls you closer to him. Burying your face in his chest muffling your protests even as you pushed and pulled away and at König he wouldn't budge. He didn't even care if your wet body soaks his clothes.

"You are cold yes Mein Mann?, do not fret I will make you a viable house you can live in"

He smiles under his mask. You could tell by the way König insanely looks down at you.

His arms around you felt crushing even as he forces you to lay at the sand with him.

"Is this island nice for you? I made it for you. nur für dich, let me keep you warm. You must be so tired."

Note: so like first post.. Nice.

But if I wrote something wrong or missed something about the German.. Tell..

And idk if I'm making part 2 I'm laaazzzyyy.

[kinglivv]

Is it Casual Now? (Part 2)

Kate Lethbridge-Stewart x Reader

Summary: After you call things off with Kate, you realise that no matter how much you avoid her, your feelings won’t go away.

Warnings: Implied sex, explicit language

You don’t speak to her for a month, which is impressive considering you’re under her command. She’d tried to call you once or twice, you’d caught her staring in a few team meetings, but other than that it was like the past year had never happened. You delete the photos off your phone, shove her things into shoe box under your bed and attempt to erase any reminder of her from your personal life.

You think you can manage. UNIT’s a good job - the best job in fact, the sort of thing you’d dreamed of since you were small. You work with aliens, you save the world, you’re challenged every day. Surely all of that balances out the pain of seeing her on the regular?

Avoiding her is easy, you tell yourself. You simply make sure you’re assigned to projects she isn’t leading on, stop going for after-work drinks and keep your head down at your laptop.

It’s when the rumours about her and Colonel Ibrahim start that you realise perhaps it actually won’t be so easy. Donna mentions it to you in passing one morning, mid-gossip over the coffee machine.

“Have you heard about the Commander and the Colonel?”

You stop stirring your coffee.

“No?”

“Mel was saying she saw him pick her up from work yesterday.” Donna’s grinning like she’s caught the scoop of the century. Usually you’d have been just as invested, but instead you feel like you’ve left your body and are stood watching a stranger have this conversation with Donna.

“Oh,” you manage. “That’s funny.”

You hurry off to your next meeting, hands trembling and barely able to concentrate. It couldn’t be true, could it?

You can’t bring yourself to ask Mel. You don’t want to know, and as long as you don’t know you can convince yourself it’s not happening. You go through the motions, pretending that you don’t see the intimate whispers between Kate and Christofer on the command deck, pretend you don’t notice them sat too closely together in meetings.

Your delusion is shattered after Sutekh. You’re brought back to life rather dizzingly after being disintegrated into sand, and of course the first person you think of is Kate. Except when you look over, the Colonel’s already with her, helping her up and there they are sharing that look again. She manages to spare you a cursory glance but then… then she’s holding his hand. In front of everyone.

Your stomach rolls. You want to throw up. You think you physically feel your heart break in two and you rush off home early, skipping the debrief and breaking protocol in the process.

You thought you could do it but she’s making it impossible. You hate her. How could she? A whole year together and she was over it in a month, moving onto someone she was happily displaying around the office like she was in love. Worst of all, the staff were happy for her, leaving you her dirty secret, some mere side piece that had meant nothing.

You knock on her office door the next day and place your resignation letter on her desk.

“What’s this?” She looks over the top of her reading glasses at you. Those eyes used to make you melt and now you feel nothing but cold hard resentment.

“It’s my four weeks notice,” you tell her plainly.

“Why?” She frowns.

“I’ve decided it’s time to move on from UNIT,”

“Don’t be silly, Y/N,” she takes off her glasses and sits back in her chair. It’s the first time you’re alone together since you fucked her in that restaurant bathroom. “I’m not accepting it.”

“You can’t not accept it.”

“Watch me.”

“I’m not playing whatever game this is.” You turn to leave, but she’s up and moving around her desk, grabbing your arm. You’re immediately transported back to the last time you’d argued in here and how you’d given up the fight as soon as she’d kissed you, forgiving her for everything.

Not this time.

“Is this about us?” She hisses the “us” like it’s a bad word.

“Of course it’s about us.” you shrug her off.

“Y/N, you’re one of my best soldiers. I’m not letting you walk out of here over something so petty.”

Your face burns.

“Yeah well you’ve got plenty other soldiers to choose from haven’t you?”

Realisation dawns on her face.

“This is about Colonel Ibrahim isn’t it?”

“That and a million other things, Kate.” You tell her. “You’re insufferable.”

She has a the decency to look hurt, adopting that face of hers that looks like a slapped puppy. You had a sharp tongue and you knew how to use it.

“I can’t sit here,” you tell her, “and watch you parade your new toy boy around the office in front of everyone like we didn’t basically date for a year.”

“You’re the one who called it off.”

“Because you were hiding me from everyone!”

“I was trying to protect you!”

“From what, Kate?” You say exasperatedly, “I was in love with you and you knew it, and yet you still let our friends-with-benefits thing carry on for your own amusement. The only thing I should have been protected from is you.”

She stares at you, and maybe her eyes are a little wet. You don’t allow yourself to linger on them.

“I’ve left your stuff in a box in my locker if you want to grab it,” you tell her matter-of-factly.

“I don’t want my fucking stuff, Y/N,” she sighs, leaning against her desk - slumping against it, even. “I want you.”

“You should’ve treated me like it.”

“I thought you’d come back,” she confesses, wiping away a stray tear.

You feel your anger subside slightly, replaced by confusion. You’d never seen her cry before.

“You loved me?” She asks hoarsely.

“Don’t act like you didn’t know.”

She doesn’t reply and looks down at the floor guiltily.

“Do you still?”

“You think I’d be resigning if I didn’t feel anything for you?”

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I didn’t think it would get this serious.”

“We went on holiday together. I slept in your bed for days on end. You let it get serious.”

“I know, I know,” she admits, “pure self-indulgence. I shouldn’t have led you on when I wasn’t ready for it.”

It’s the most you’ve ever gotten out of her on this subject, and still she isn’t reciprocating your feelings.

“Self-indulgence?” You repeat.

“I…” she waves her hand searching for the words. “I wasn’t ready to be in love again after my divorce. And I didn’t to have to put my kids through another one of my tumultuous relationships. And I didn’t want you to get stuck with someone twice your age and your boss. And… I didn’t want to stop seeing you. I could give you a million excuses, Y/N. They wouldn’t make up for how I’ve made you feel.”

“That’s what you mean by protecting me?” You ask, “You didn’t think I might want a say?”

She grimaces.

“Was it just sex?” You ask softly, because you have to know, once and for all.

She shakes her head.

“And Christofer?”

“A rebound.”

“Have you slept with him?”

She nods and your heart plummets again.

“Just the once,” she says, “I was trying to stop thinking about you. Trying to kid myself I could forget about it.”

You want to hate her for it but you can’t. After all, you’d slept with someone whilst you were with Kate, trying to distract yourself from your feelings. It would be hypocritical to expect differently of her.

“I tell him to piss off.” She pleads, “Say it was nothing. Hell, I’ll even find a way to fire him if that’s what you need to forgive me.”

“I couldn’t ever not forgive you Kate, that’s kind of been my ongoing issue for the last year.”

She huffs a laugh, reaching out to take your hand. You gaze at her, taking in all her familiar features that you’ve abstained from for a whole month. You’re leaning in and then… she pulls back.

“No.” She says and you want to scream but then: “This isn’t just a quick fuck. We should do this properly. Let me take you to dinner?”

She’d taken you to dinner a dozen times before but this felt different.

“Oliveli?” She suggests, “With your favourite pasta and the really good french martini’s?”

You nod.

“And then,” she suggests, rubbing her thumb over your hand, “and then maybe it’s time I sat the kids down and had a chat to them about you.”

It’s the closest admission to love you’d ever heard from her. You can’t help the smile creeping onto her face.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

Her hand falls to the desk and crumples up your notice. Without tearing her eyes away from yours, her perfect aim lands it in the bin across the room.

[shapelytimber]

A Taste of Faith

[PRINT] - [COMMISSIONS]

Ok so the concept for this piece was : historical gay nuns, and 70s lesbian vampire movies meets tes (don't ask me why- I just had a vision at 3 am)

Because I think Serana should have been meaner<3 I love women's wrongs and when vampires do the suck <3

Btw of you want to see more gay Serana art, go check out @gay-of-waterdeep, their art is wonderful, and I can't say this was not a bit inspired by what they do :))

Process (and me rambling about some of my favorite 70s lesbian vampire movies (because I have a problem)) below vvv

Additional details about this drawing ! 1) I used the same Mara design than the one from my tarot deck :)) and 2) the other woman is one of the priestess in the temple in Riften lglggigkglgl her name is *check wiki* Dinya Balu

And now......... Some movies I enjoy because my house my rules, you came this far so why not hear about niche european movies :))))))

Disclaimer for a majority of the films in this genre : the male gaze is very fucking obvious in these movies... they were made by men for men, and the message is often "lesbianism is a dangerous temptation for women". It's a glairing flaw nearly all of them share and that sucks (and frankly it's a flaw Serana's writting kinda has in my opinion, minus the lesbianism part, but let's not dwell on that)- so if you can't get past it, it's completly understandable, be on your way and have a nice day <3

- Daughters of Darkness ! A toxic man is returning to london with his newly wed wife, but they get stuck in Belgium and are forced to stay in a luxurious hotel. Don't worry about the 10/10 smokeshow countess seducing his wife :). Completely unrelated, this movie has, in my opinion, the most beautiful lesbian kiss I've ever seen- but I might not be very objective because Delphine Seyrig is there lglglflflllglm The best one in the list ! So if you want to whatch one, whatch this one <3

- The blood spattered bride ! This is more of... an aquired taste let's say- but I really like it ! A quite effective horror movie, with goofy ass scenes (shoutout to the vampire lady buried in the sand naked with only a diving mask that is not the screenshot because tits), and emasculation being a recuring theme <3 (but if you want to watch it, please check the content warnings beforehand, it has a lot of very shocking and frontal scenes, and it's the 70s so it's not done very tactfully. Also pretty intense flashing lights)

- The vampire lovers ! Ok so this one is a lot less fun compared to the other two because it's made by the Hammer BUT... 1) Ingrid Pitt hello and 2) it's such a intriging thing to see a very christian/conservative studio make a film like that. I know a lot of people don't like the Hammer movies from the 70s, because the studio had a lot less money, and were making wild decisions. But I love them, because they tend to be much more fun bloody and sexy ! I'm a simple woman mjllkklhkhlhlho case in point with the vampire lovers (although if you want a fun vampire hammer movie from the 70s, Dracula ad 1972 is way better). And Peter Cushing is there (i love this man so much-) !

And now I shall resume my quest to find Vampire Lesbos by Jésus Franco and have a probably mid experience watching it xoxo

[linkspooky]

Yu Gi Oh GX and Alchemy: Citrinitas and the Splendor Solis

Yu-Gi-Oh GX, an anime that exists to sell you Trading Cards is a also a piece of media with some of the most well-researched, and layered symbols and references to the Great Work in Alchemy. The show is built around it's alchemical symbolism, each of the four seasons representing a step is the Great Work of turning lead into gold.

Season is Nigredo or 'blackening', Season 2 is Albedo or 'whitening', Season 3 is Cintrinatis or 'yellowing' and Season 4 is 'reddening,' where Judai achieves wholeness of the self, and completely his journey of growing from a child to an adult.

Season 3 is the yellowing, symbolized by the color yellow, the element of earth, and where Judai completes his final chemical wedding with his opposite and his soul Yubel.

The entirety of GX s a metaphor for the Great Work, with season 3 focusing on the yellow stage. The group that surrounds Judai represents each of the 4 stages of alchemy.

Manjoume, (Nigredo Black, and Fire)

Asuka (Albedo, White, and Water),

Misawa (Citrinatis, Yellow, and Earth)

Judai (Rubedo, Red, the Philosopher's stone, and Air).

Season 3 depicts the drowning of the king, only for him to be reborn again. The king in this situation being Judai who drowns and rises up as the Supreme King associated with yellow, is defeated and dethroned, only to embrace the Supreme King's power and integrate it into himself.

All of Season 3 is a necessary dissolution of Judai, in order for him to be reforged into a stronger person, the way metal is purified through the process of alchemy. Judai even states in embracing Yubel at the end of the season that even if his previous self was destroyed he's fine with that because it's a part of growing up.

The entire season is themed around solve et coagula (dissolve and coagulate, rinse away the impurities to refine yourself into a better version of yourself / reforge the stone). Letting things dissolve away is needed in order to become purified, the same way that death alway proceeds a rebirth. We will call back to these ideas time and time again over the course of this meta. This symbolism starts in the very first episode of the season 106, where Judai experiences a dream premonition of the future.

In this dream Judai wakes up in a desert dimension, the same dimension, Yubel will later teleport the academy to. He sees his friends all turned to sand, only for the wind to scatter them on the breeze.

Not only is this a reference to Dissolve et Coagula, but Judai's friends will also literally dissolve later when they are used as sacrifice materials for Super Polymerization, only to coagulate at the end of the season. This scene also takes place in a desert, and earth is the element associated with citrinitas.

The Exchange Students

This episode also features the introduction of the four transfer students, particularly Johan. Each transfer student is associated with an element and a phase in the four step process of Alchemy.

Austin O'Brien, uses a fire deck, associated with nigredo

Amon Garam, uses a water deck, associated with Albedo

Jim Crocodile Cook, uses an earth deck, associated with Citrinatis

What about Johan, you ask?

So far we've been talking about Alchemy as a four step process, but sometimes there is a fifth step called Peacock's tail (The Prismatic Phase).

The peacock tail is a physical stage in alchemy, a brilliant flash of green which comes to signify that the alchemist is one the right path. It can also be recognized in spiritual/psychological alchemy as a flash of visions that come to the adept as they move through the phases of transformation.

The Splendor Solaris painting of Venus / The Peacock is associated with love (the domain the goddess venus presides over), spirit, spiritualism, and inspiriation. II often compare it to the star Major Aracana in Tarot, which is a card of renewed hope and faith and a flash of temporary insight.

What better step fits Johan who not only plays a deck based around seven monsters, which represent the seven colors of light that make up the prismatic rainbow, but also is a character who is capable of seeing duel spirits like Judai.

The most important part of the prismatic phase though is that it's temporary, it's a flash of insight. Johan most notably, after appearing and burning so bright he captures all of Judai's attention disappears halfway through the season.

The search for the yet to be discovered Rainbow Dragon is also what drives both Judai and Johan the first half of Season 3, especially when it becomes their only way to get home. While the search for Johan himself, is what drives Judai in the second half. Johan really is the star in the distance who's light Judai is following.

Judai's first duel against Austin is meant to invoke Nigredo, the boiling away of impurities. Austn uses a fire themed deck, and over the course of the duel Judai helps "purify them" to the point where they remember they're not supposed to blindly follow orders. Austin invokes the fire symbolism by quite literally saying his father was a man who blazed with passion.

I'd forgotten what my father taught me. My father wasn't jsut a dog who fought as he was told. He was a warrior who burned with passion. And he...Judai made me remember that.

Judai's purifying of Austin's soul also starts his character arc here, as he quickly grows from more than just Professor Cobra's willing collaborator.

Kenzan and Jim's duel is a reference to the step of Citrinitas. Kenzan and Jim both duel with earth centered decks, Kenzan's deck revolves around resurrecting dinosaurs, and Jim's deck digs fossils out of the earth. Jim's deck even revolves around fusing summoning monsters in the graveyards, which is a reference to his career as digging fossils deep out of the ground. Kenzan also wears yellow, and when his dinosaur DNA gets out of control his eyes turn yellow. The two of them have their duel on a dry patch of dirt in the middle of the forest.

Cintriatis is referred to as the drawning of the "solar light" inherent in one's being, and that reflective "lunar or soul light" was no longer necessary [source]. What this essentially means is that the subconscious becomes conscious, or we become aware of what we usually keep hidden about ourselves.

Jim's duel against Kenzan references this because the purpose of the duel itself is to wake up Kenzan from a primal, animalistic, subconscious state activated because his Dinosaur DNA went out of control. Jim is basically attempting to show Kenzan the light by calming him down with a duel, something he'll do much later with Judai. A duel between them is a duel betwee instinct and higher reasoning.

The last duel of the exchange students is Manjoume vs Amon. It's a duel that reveals so much and yet so little about Amon's character.

The second stage of alchemy is called albedo, a latinicized term of "whiteness." It's a purification thatfollows after the nigredo stages where all impurities are washed away. It's associated with water.

Amon invokes this stage in several ways. He plays a cloudian deck, clouds are associated with water. Albedo is associated with water because it features the "washing away" of impurities. They duel each other over a a pool of water, in a duel where the loser will be dropped into water below. Manjoume even refers to himself as the lightning going through Amon's clouds, there's only lightning when it rains.

Manjoume: I'm not a spoiled rich dude, casually gazing up at clouds like you were. Manjoume: If you're a white cloud, then I'll be the black thunder.

Albedo is also a stage associated with purification / purity, and the entire duel Amon is remarked upon as being pure / being unreadable like the white clouds themselves.

Manjoume: I'm beating him. It's obvious that I'm cornering him, but... Manjoume: ...What's with this cavelier attitude of his? It's almost like he's like a cloud. Manjoume: I haven't seen him dueling yet. What could he be hiding in those clouds?

Manjoume is also a character associated with Nigredo as he's wearing black, and plays a dragon deck, and the duel ends with him falling in the water.

The exchange student duels end, as the duel academy kids begin hunting down professor Cobra. There's a few moments of interesting elemental symbolism in these duels.

Judai is forced to duel his professor while Asuka, a character who also wears white and is therefore associated with Albedo is about to drown in a chamber slowly flooding with water.

This also doubles ad Jungian symbolism because this is Judai's first confrontation with his jungian shadow the repressed part of his personality. His professor derides him for lacking darkness of the heart. These words speak of Judai's flaws that have previously remained hidden, his selfishness, his unhealthy habit of taking on other's burdens because he lacks a purpose of his own.

Satou: You can't win. I have something that you lack? Judai: Something that I lack? Satou: The darkness of the heart lying deep within a duelist. Judai: Darkness of the heart? Satou: It is what a duelist burdens his heart with. Judai-kun, you lack anything of the sort. Judai: Something I'd burden my heart with? Satou: Thus far, there hasn't been a single duel which I've dueled for myself. ALthough, because you only think only of yourself, I suppose you couldn't possibly understand. Judai: But where's the fun in dueling like that? Satou: There's nothing fun about it! Being burdened with the expectations of others, yet continuing to stay strong. THat's what it was like.

His entire deck strategy revolves around taking control Judai's monsters and turning them against him. His ace monster is also known as "scab knight", a warrior covered in scars from fighting whil enduring the burden of everyone's expectations. Judai will come to resemble this card later on in the season.

I'll make a brief mention of Giese because this is the moment where Johan's role as the peacock feather come into play. Judai asks if Johan has a goal for dueling other than fun, and Johan shares his.

Johan: Those spirits gave me dueling a purpose! A purpose to become a bridge between spirits and humans... Judai: To become a bridge between spirits and humans?

A goal which Judai clearly admires him for. The prismatic phase shows insight, and Johan gives Judai something to aspire to be like because he admires him for having a goal - and for his relationship with spirits. However, it's only a temporary insight because rather than thinking about his own goal it's moments like these, and shortly afterwards in the Cobra duel where Johan tells Judai that he duels while carrying the burdens of others that Judai simply decides to glue himself onto Johan.

Rather than come up with his own answers, Judai just accepts the answers that Johan gives him. Rather than using Johan as support and inspiration, Johan becomes an unstable emotional crutch.

There's one final reference to the Spector Solaris plates in the vial in which Yubel has been baking in the entire arc as they absorb duel energy in order to reconstitute themselves. Yubel at this stage is a reference to the 12th plate, Saturn Dragon and Child.

The plate depicts a child and a dragon sealed together in a flask. Within the child's right hand is a black flask they are forcing down the throat of the dragon, in the left hand are a pair of bellows which he is holding against the dragon's arc. The child is pouring the black Prima Materia in the dragon's mouth, while he increases the heat of flame. This will result in the decomposition of the Prima Materia into a substance that can be reconfigured and rebuilt.

Yubel represents both the child and the dragon. They are a dragon, specifically a child who underwent surgery in order to become a dragon. Just like the child forces their right hand down the dragons throat, Yubel possesses people by grafting their arm onto them.

Yubel also specifically appears as a child, Cobra's missing son, in order to manipulate him. Then feasts on the darkness of his heart and induces him to commit suicide by covering Cobra's entire hand with their fiend arm, and feeding them a false memory of a scenario where their son actually survived. They then transport the entiretyof the school to a desert, more earth symbolism and where the series begins referencing the seven parables.

Splendor Solis

The Splender Solis are an alchemical text from around the 1500s. They are a series of 22 elaborate images, which symbolize the alchemical processes.

They are divided into 4 groups. 4 introductory plates which depict the typical archetypal characters appearing in an alchemical story. The 7 parables which describe the process of death and rebirth of the king. The 7 flask plates which show the making of the elixir. Then the 4 final plates which shows the spiritual refinement.

The main arc of Season 3 revolves around the death and rebirth of the king, and from now on this meta will exclusively focus on Judai's process of becoming the awakened Supreme King.

As mentioned above he entire school is transported into a desert world. One of the first major events in this new world is the appearance of a Wise Man.

Carl Jung interpreted the process of alchemy as an analogy for psychoanalysis. Each stage of alchemy to him also represented an archetypal schema of the human mind. Nigredo is the shadow, Abledow the anima and animus (feminine and masculine), citrinatis i the wise old man (or woman) archetype, and rubedo is the self that has achieved wholeness.

It's the appearance of Misawa who physically resembles a wise old man, complete with a cloak, long hair and a walking stick that helps clue the protagonist where they are, and how to escape.

I also must make mention of Yubel, who begins enacting their plan to turn Judai into a king. Their first plan involves transporting the academy away to a different dimmension, and slowly taking over from inside by converting the duelists into mindless zombies.

Yubel: Attention, lost duelists. I am the rule of this new world. Yubel: I am the one controlling these zombies as the King of the Martin Empire. Yubel: You are the ones opposing my empire, and doing it well I see...

We don't know exactly what Yubel's first plan was, before they switched to their backup of super-polymerization - but considering Yubel's unique logic they likely planned on converting everyone in the school to zombies, while reforming their body. At which point it would be them and Judai alone together, and they would offer Judai the position as king, which Yubel thinks Judai would be grateful for.

Either way it's Yubel who pushes Judai through the journey of dying and being reborn as king. Yubel goes through a parallel death and rebirth (dissolved) , as they were torn to pieces and enact their plan to reconsitute their body back together and revive (coagulate). Either way Yubel's actions start Judai's journey.

The 7 steps of this journey / 7 parables are:

Plate 5 - Miners excavating a hill

Plate 6 - Philosophers beside a tree

Plate 7 - The drowning king

Plate 8 - Resurrection out of the swamp

Plate 9 - Hermaphrodite with an egg

Plate 10 - Severing the head of the king

Plate 11 - The bath

We'll be going mostly in order with these, as Yu-Gi-Oh GX also references them in order. Here's another post covering similiar spector solis symolism from RWBY which I'm lovingly ripping off. Beginning with:

Plate 5- Miners Excavating a Hill

The search for Rainbow Dragon has been a focus of Johan's arc since his introduction, but when the main characters learn that Rainbow Dragon is their way out of the dark dimension than excavating Rainbow Dragon out of the earth becomes the main focus of Judai and Johan's shared journey.

The plate depicts a mountain mined by two figures, dressed in gold and silver. The contrasting colors represent the dualism of the sun and the moon, which is also shown shining bright in the sky while the moon floats along in the river below.

Rainbow Dragon is quite literally mined out of the side of a hill. The two figures could be referencing both, Samejima and Pegasus who are sent out to retrieve it, Johan and Judai who summon it in their partner duel against Yubel.

The number seven also occurs here. There are seven splender solis plates, seven planets, seven alchemical symbols, seven metals, and Rainbow Dragon is a monster that requires the sacrifice of seven gemstones, which also represent the seven colors of light that make up the rainbow.

Featured on the plate is a picture of a scene from the book of Esthter from the Old Testament. This is a reference to the King Ahasuerus and Eshter. THe king is convinced by his grand vizier to kill the jews, starting with executing chief minister Mordecai. This is in spite of the facthe'd already married Mordecai's jewish cousin, Esther.

Eshther appears and touches the king's golden scepter with her hand. This convinces the king not to kill the jews.

“So it was, when the king saw Queen Esther standing in the court, that she found favor in his sight, and the king held out to Esther the golden scepter that was in his hand. Then Esther went near and touched the top of the scepter. And the king said to her, ‘What do you wish Queen Esther? It shall be given to you – up to half the kingdom!’” (The Holy Bible, New King James Edition, Esther 5.3)

It's a union of opposites (gold and silver, king and queen, sun and moon) based upon communication and empathy. Gx references this story in two ways.

When Samejima and Pegasus are trying to excavate Rainbow Dragon from the mountain, Echo appears and threatens to kill everyone inside in order to allow Amon to remain in a world where he can become king. In a way it's gender flopped because Echo is playing the role of king, threatening everyone at Duel Academy.

The second way is a reference to Judai and Yubel's entire arc of learning to understand people with empathy. Yubel threatens to massacre both Judai's friends, and the twelve dimmensions at large in their painfully wounded state from Judai's abandonment.

This is gender flipped like it is with Echo, where the queen (Yubel) is threatening violence, and the king (Judai) is the one who sways them with empathy. They're linked to queen and king roles, Judai serving as the supreme king linked to the sun, Yubel their feminine bi-gender counterpart and shadow linked to the moon, Judai eventually does so through a union of souls during their final duel, which resembles s a jewish wedding.

Plate 6- The Philosophical Tree

The plate shows three philsophers underneath a tree. The third is a youth, climbing a ladder and handing them down a golden branch.

The two philosophers underneath a tree is a reference to the Aeinid, in order to enter the world Aeneas requires a golden branch from a special tree.

A journey to the underworld is as on the nose for a symbolic journey of death and rebirth as it gets. Judai technically journeys to the underworld twice, the first time when Yubel sends the whole school there, and the second when he like Dante or Orpheus journeys into the underworld to retrieve his lost one - Johan.

The desert world that Judai is transported too is literally filled with zombies, or the wandering dead like in classical depictions of the greek Hades.

Whereas in the world Judai travels to find Johan, losing a duel results in a permanent death for the duelist forcing every character to confront their own mortality.

During that Journey, Judai specifically experiences a death of his ego and a rebirth as the supreme king, before dying a second time and being reborn as the fusion of Judai / Yubel.

The three philosopher's under the tree is specifically referenced when Judai and Johan have their tag team with Yubel, they are the three under the tree. During that duel Johan uses gem tree, a tree that grows a fruit after certain conditions - it grows three fruits in total like the three phases of alchemy.

The duel is fought to return everyone from the dark dimension, a figurative underworld. Whereas in the Aeinid the tree is what grants them free passage into the underworld.

The golden branch and yellow flowers in the splendor solis painting also represent the yellow / citrinitas stage, where light is shed on the unconscious. By the end of the duel, not only is Yubel fully reborn after being torn apart, but they also force Judai to recall the repressed memory of them buried in their subconscious. Yubel's colored yellow when begging Judai to remember them.

Plate 7- The Drowning King

Judai's second journey to the underworld begins after this duel, and this time it's fraught with death. Albeit a necessary death for Judai to be reborn as a whole person.

“The Destruction of one thing is the birth of another.” – Aristotle

The painting depicts an old king drowning in the background, while a new king dressed in yellow emerges in the foreground. While the king is begging to the saved, both the old and new king are actually the same person, being reborn again.

GX references the drowning king in several ways, firstly the entire Supreme King Haou arc is a plan by Yubel to break Judai down and reforge him as the Supreme King.

Not only does Judai experience an ego death first where their mind breaks down and they choose to become the Supreme King going forward and rule with power after the loss of their friends. Judai is also the reincarnation of the original supreme king, which is why Yubel is obsessed with them in this lifetime. Which means he's already died once as king and been reincarnated into a second lifetime.

The king drowning in the river is also a reference to the Nigredo stage of alchemy:

Within the stages of physical alchemy there is a set referred to as the drowning king; this is the dissolution step of the Nigredo process. This is when the alchemists would take their chemically calcified ashes and dissolve them into water. The water itself would absorb the ashes, the word we use to describe this solution, an elixir, comes from the Arabic: Al-iksir translates to “from the ashes”. Elixir.

In order to forge the elixir you have to dissolve away all impurities. Yubel prepares a ritual to literally dissolve Judai's friends away, in order to forge Super Polymerization (which will eventually help Judai and Yubel fuse and become the philosopher's stone).

For now though, the ritual requires five sacrifices, and five of Judai's friend. Just like the five steps of alchemy if you count the peacock stage (the monster Judai fights in his duel is even named Reign-Beaux, a pun on Rainbow).

Manjoume, Asuka, Fubuki, and Kenzan all dissolve while Sho escapes leaving the ritual incomplete. It's after the ritual however, that Judai experiences an ego death and is reforged as the yellow king. Ego death, is the Jungian term which means a "Complete Loss of subjective self-identity." In this case symbolically the Judai identity "dies" as he loses his purpose which was previously dueling for the sake of his friends, and he finds a new purpose in dueling for power alone. A power that will simultaneously bring order to the chaotic world of the dark dimension, but also protect himself from his own insecurities and weaknesses.

Nigredo is also meant to be the dissolving of the ego. While many cultures have negative associations tied to the color black (Islam being an exception, where white is considered an impure colour), there are no such connotations for the alchemist about the Nigrido stage; it is merely the first stage in the Great Work, the dissolving of the self/ego complex. It is probably a fair observation that in cultures without spiritual safe-guards, or even safe-guardians (shamans, priestesses, lamas, et. al.), the spontaneous occurrence of Nigrido may be labeled as a nervous breakdown, or even psychosis. Mythcrafts

Nigredo is again associated with the arhcetype of the shadow in Jungian Psychology. The Supreme King persona first appears to Judai as a vaguely person shaped shadow, before taking on his form. The shadow is also a reflection of the self, Judai's internal landscape is a dark placed filled with mirrors.

Haou: Yuki Judai. In order to defeat evil, one must become evil. In a world with the law of the jungle at work, one must rule with power. Judai: Power, I don't have that power. Haou: In your hand lies the Super Fusion card. Defeat any spirits who may oppose you, and confine their lives into it the perfect card. Judai: Who are you?

There's also two suns in the background. Judai is referred to as being like the sun, by Sho.

Sho: Aniki, You're too selfish, Aniki. All the time, Aniki, I thought of you like a sun, giving us all strength, able to make the impossible possible. Sho: But I guess I thought wrong. For you, Aniki, things were okay if you were okay. It didn't matter who you sacrificed as long as it all helped your plan! Even if you avenge them, everyone you sacrificed won't come back. Sho: Big bro, you've been dueling just to satisfy yourself. Judai: Sho... Sho: Don't say it like that. You're not my Aniki. You're not my Aniki.

There's two suns depicted in the sky, and this scene we're shown two judais, to show just how divided his self is between his ego and his shadow. Sho even says that he doesn't even recognize Judai and that he's not "His Judai" right now.

Plate 8- Resurrection Out of the Swamp

“She clothed the man with a purple robe, lifted him up to his brightest clearness, and took him with herself to Heaven.” -Trismosin

On the left a strange being, dressed in black and red arises from the mud. He reaches forward to accept a red robe being offered to him.

On the right appears a winged woman, dressed in white, yellow and blue waiting for him to emerge from the mud and giving him a cloak to dress himself.

There is once again many different ways in which this painting is referenced. Haou first appears dressed in armor mainly colored in black, with a red cape exactly like the one the woman is handing the man in the painting.

If Judai is the man emerging from the mud, then the winged woman waiting for him is likely Yubel. Yubel is a winged figure and a hermaphrodite who represents both the masculine and the feminine.

On the bank of the river, holding out the red clock to the emerging man is Sophia. She has angel wings of white peacock feathers and is dressed in a floral robe. Upon her head is a crown topped with a six-pointed star, a symbol used in many traditions to signify the union of male and female energies; hieros gamos again.

The masculine king is reuniting with a feminine winged figure. Yubel as a hermaphrodite represents a union of masculinity and feminity. The winged woman is awaiting the man.

Judai's rise as the supreme king is engineered by Yubel as a part of a plan to reunite them. More specifically to get into plot details Yubel sacrificed their body to become a dragon to protect prince Judai in a past life until the day he would become king. After Judai saw Yubel make such a sacrifice he promised them his eternal love, and to eternally love them alone.

Yubel and Judai then both died at some point and were reborn, Judai as a person and Yubel a duel spirit. Yubel was Judai's best friend when they were young and took the role of protector too serously hurting anyone who came near Judai which made Judai decide to send them away (on a satellite into space).

While alone in space Yubel was hit by the light of destruction, which tortured them with terrible agony for ten years straight. Yubel called out to Judai at first, but Judai stopped responding. Ten years later Yubel crashed back down to earth, and when burning up in earth's atmosphere they continued begging for Judai's help only to be met with silence.

They asked why Judai would abandon them and their love, and that silence became their answer. Judai must have intentionally made them suffer both as a show of love, and to make them stronger.

Yubel then resolves to inflict the same suffering on Judai, first making them all alone like Yubel was, then putting them through trial after trial until they died like Yubel and woke up stronger as the Supreme King: at which point Yubel believed they would reunite again as equals. Yubel also had the additional motive of trying to make Judai recall his past life, which Yubel remembered and Judai did not.

Yubel: I was suffering as you came to forget about me... Yubel: It burns... It hurts...It's killing me. But why? I love him so much. Why is Judai treating me like this? Yubel: And then it hit me. This is just a form of Judai's love. Judai is hurting me and making me suffer because of his love for me. But you see, I couldn't possibly forget about you in the time i've suffered. Yubel: So when I solved the riddle that you posed to me, I was delighted. And that fueled my decision. I would try to fill the entire twelve dimmensions with my love for you. Yubel: And once I did you would have to recognize my love for you, wouldn't you? Yubel: That is why I sought to fill all those linked to you - your world - with both sadness and anguish. Yubel: ANd my line of thinking wasn't wrong. Yubel: I mean you are right before my eyes, Judai.

Yubel: Though, I did have your friends help me which pulled out the darkness inside your heart and ushered you this far.

The entirety of Season 3 is Judai's journey of becoming king, which will lead to his eventual union with Yubel, his soul, and his other half.

The union of Judai and Yubel is necessary in a Jungian sense, because his fusion with Yubel mirrors the process of individuation.

The alchemical texts at our disposal offer four distinct stages in the transformation of base metals into gold: nigredo. the black stage, albedo, the white stage, citrinas, the yellow stage, and finally, rubedo, the red stage. Physical chemists took this literally; depth psychologists, following in the footsteps of Carl Jung, took this figuratively. From the standpoint of depth psychology, the black nigredo is the shadow, the things we hide from ourselves. The albedo, the white stage, is the hieros gamos, the sacred marriage of male/female, or anima and animus. The citrinas, the yellow phase, is the wise elder, the shaman. And the red, or rubedo, which seems to be the point of this image, is what Jung called individuation; the point when the raw materia prima of our psyches turns into something whole.

Yubel sort of represents all three of those archetypal schema. Yubel is Judai's shadow, they awakened the supreme king which embodies all of his negative traits his darkness of heart. As a hermaphrodite Yubel is a sacred marriage of male and female, and Judai also fuses together with Yubel becoming a hermaprhodite himself. Finally, Yubel is the wise man by serving as the mind character to Judai's heart.

Heart, Mind and Body are traditional roles assigned to characters in an alchemy story. The male character s usually heart, and their female protagonist is mind. Judai is emotional, hot-headed, and most of all stupid. Yubel is tactical, capable of making succesful plans long in advanced, calm and thoughtful, and also possesses deep insight into things Judai is clueless about like the nature of love. In fact after the two of them are united, it's Yubel who serves an advisory role to Judai the way Aster does with Yuma in Zexal. Heart and Mind characters are often, but not always romantically linked to one another.

Yubel also appears as a wise guide in a twisted sense, as they're the one guiding Judai throughout the whole journey and eventually they reawaken the memories of his past.

Judai therefore needs to unite with Yubel in order for his psyche to be whole.

There's other characters who can also serve as the sophia / wiseman figure in this instance. Jim Crocodile Cook is the first character to fight Judai to try to get through to him. Once again Jim is an archealogist, he likes trying to reach Judai to digging for sleeping fossils under the earth.

He also possesses a special eye, given to him by a wise man which allows him to see inside of Judai's psyche. Jim is quite literally trying to dig Judai out of the mud. When using his power the comet his eye is associated with turns red, like rubedo and the philosopher's stone because Jim is trying to make Judai whole again.

Austin follows through on Jim's iniatitive and succesfully reaches Judai. His fire deck allows for a nigredo of sorts winning with his fire themed deck to boil away the impurities of Judai's soul starting up the alchemical process.

When Judai awakens he's reborn again underneath a tree into a new self, that's both the supreme king and Judai. Another wiseman figure appears to him in the form of Misawa shortly afterwards to highlight to Judai that the Supreme King isn't a split personality, Judai is the supreme king and he did all of that of his free will.

Judai: The supreme king's gone, though... his powers can't be mine. Misawa: Not quite... Your current self and Supreme King Judai are each one side of the same person. We all have a good and evil side. Judai: But... Misawa: Will you quit it, already! You won't be able to rescue the others with powerless heroics! Controlling your powerful Supreme King side will allow you to bring about justice. Judai: The power of darkness? I can't! Just stop it! Misawa: Stop your whining. Someone who was given special powers will have to fight for all those who've placed their hopes on them, won't they?

In that sense Misawa is the Wiseman who appears to guide Judai to integrate the Supreme King into his psyche, to be more whole.

The Nihilixir

Let's take a break from alchemy to talk about reverse alchemy for a moment, because I can't do a Season 3 post without talking about Amon Garam.

The relationship between Amon and Echo form a dark mirror to the relationship between Judai and Yubel. There are many ways they correspond to each other, both features a king (Judai and Amon) and their servant (Yubel and Echo). Amon is named after a sun god (AMon or Amon-Re), he was abandoned in the desert as a child, he's associated with the solar king. Echo is his Echo more or less, she was raised alongside him to be devoted to him, she's named after the nymph echo cursed to be left behind as nothing more than an Echo. She is passive and subservient, Amon is active and dominating.

I once mentioned Echo above threatening to kill everyone present, so Amon can be in a world where he can become king. Just like Yubel it's Echo's deepest desire for Amon to be king, and Echo genuinely believes Amon has the right to stand above others. They're also set up as the only other explicitly romantic couple besides Judai and Yubel. Yubel drops the extremely intimate "aishiteru" to Judai, and Echo confirms she loves Amon with "Aishiteru" when talking with Edo.

Echo and Amon attempt a union, but unlike Judai and Yubel's union it goes wrong, instead of purifying each other they both basically destroy each other.

Instead of forging a philosopher's stone, what Amon and Echo make is what's called a Nihilixir, a negative transformation. The process of reverse alchemy is elaborated on this posts here.

Love’s alchemy had once transformed him to “Sun”--to ”a quintessence even from nothingness.”   A normal, positive transformation. But now he has been transformed in reverse. a negative transformation. For I am every dead thing... He ruined me, and I am rebegot Of absence, darkness, death, things which are not.... I, by love’s limbecke, am the grave Of all, that’s nothing. (”Limbecke” is another word for the alchemical vessel, the alembic.) The reverse of the Philosopher’s Stone, the Elixir, is the Nihilixir 

While Death and Rebirth is a necessary part of Alchemy, Reverse Alchemy is Death without the rebirth. It's a love which should usually redeem destroying both parties instead.

Kate in this post likens reverse alchemy to the relationship between Oz and Salem from RWBY, an incredibly destructive romance. To paraphrase Kate, death and rebirth is necessary for moving forward in alchemy, but reverse alchemy happens when a character resists death and the grief that comes along with it.

Amon's arc is more or less refusing to feel his own grief. He is undeniably an abused child with a terrible lot in life, left to starve to death when he thinks he's finally saved and works hard to earn his parent's love he is replaced by a biological child and learns how conditional his parent's love is.

Yubel basically takes advantage of all the unprocessed grief that Amon has in order to move him forward to his destruction.

Yubel: My power is not especially great. But those with darkness in their hearts can unleash great power in me. Yubel: The pus welling out of your injured heart forms a second heart. I can see that other heart. The darkness in it. Yubel: The darkness in your heart that has nowhere else to go. You desire life-risking tasks because, all you want is a place to die. Yubel: That’s right. That is the darkness of your heart. it’s there, in the depths of your mind. The cream of your other heart, born from your stagnant blood!

In other words Amon is plagued by thoughts of suicidal ideation and takes on risky missions for the sake of the Garam Conglomerate because he's hoping to just die somewhere far away from his parent's - because he thinks he's been shunned from his family and therefore there's no place for him in this world.

He believes that so thoroughly he even leaves this world and doesn't come back, for a chance to be king in an alternate dimmension free from family obligations.

Yubel says that in order to become whole, to become his true self he would need to "kill his god." More specifically kill his iron will, the resolve he made when his brother was born to only exist for the sake of the Garam conglomerate.

However, you cannot kill your own god. That is because it is the role of a devil.

There's an element of truth to Yubel's words, Yubel is the spirit of wisdom after all. Amon needs to accept death, in order to be reborn as someone new.

Kate basically says where Salem and Oz's relationship goes wrong is that Salem cannot accept death or grieve Oz, and imagine living in a world without him. Which is why she's cursed with immortality, literally becoming undying, and unable to change as well.

Amon cannot accept grief. He's still obsessed with the idea of becoming the head of the Garam family, like he was promised when he was younger - symbolically coming king. He can neither let go of that idea and try to find other ways to be happy in life, or grieve his parent's abuse of him by basically raising him to be a tool only to discard him.

In fact, I believe a lot of people have trouble connecting to Amon as a character because he doesn't openly grieve - he remains stoic b/c he's so dedicated to trying to repress all his pain from his terrible life.

This is another way in which Amon foils Judai, they're both referred to as being pure of heart, and therefore lacking a shadow and darkness. This is not a good thing, Judai's lack of darkness of the heart makes him blind to his own flaws until he hits his lowest point. Amon's so disconnected from his own emotions, he can at one point cruelly lure Echo to her own murder, then five minutes later claim to love her. It's this resistance of grief, and lack of darkness of his heart that makes Amon unable to transform into his better self.

Paralleling Judai yet again, Amon conducts a ritual to sacrifice his loved one in order to forge a powerful card, Superpoly for Judai and Exodia for Amon. However, him and Echo don't die together, it's not a union it's a one-sided affair with Echo taking on all the sacrifice herself. As I said, Amon is unwilling to bear the pain in any way. This is something that Yubel gleefully points out to Amon.

Yubel: I get it now... You weren't in love with Echo. Yubel: No. You may have loved her just enough to clear the conditions in place for you to control Exodia. Yubel: But then, you didn't truly love each other. Yubel: You were only unfairly hurting her, while you would stay unharmed. Yubel: You wouldn't suffer. You wouldn't be in pain.

Yubel: And that's why I'm having Judai go through the same feelings! That could be what it means for us to love!

Again there is an element of truth to Yubel's words. Amon and Echo's relationship was fundamentally unequal and Amon has no desire to change it, and even takes advantage of Echo in that way.

Yubel for all the pain they inflict on Judai desires to be equal in their pains, and their goal is connection and communication which is fundamental to the process of alchemy. Yubel does many things, but they're not resisting grief. In comparison to Amon who shows almost no emotion at Echo's passing, Yubel openly cries on multiple occasions from the pain of Judai abandoning them.

Amon's inability to process his grief of let himself feel pain, or just let go of the idea that he was meant to become his parent's heir and inherit the world - he can't see that he could try to live some other way. He's blind to the people who love him in his life. This is also something that Yubel points out, he could have tried to live a different life from what his family set out for him with Echo. Echo who was always there and loved him. He can't get over his parents lack of love to see there was still love in his life. He can't see a world where he can live without his parent's love.

Yubel: That isn't a world! Yubel: I wouldn't even think of living in a world like that. Yubel: You see, a "world" is something that you build with the one that you love! Yubel: For me, it's something I'll build with Judai! That is a world!

Amon could have created something new with Echo, but he refused to change. Which is why in the end they both destroy each other.

Of course, Judai and Yubel's love isn't exactly a paragon of healthy relationship. Yubel is also unable to imagine a world where they can't live without Judai. However Yubel does allow their beliefs to change after a union with Judai, originally Yubel was so afraid of Judai's rejection they wanted to monpolize all of Judai's attention and essentially live in a world with only them and Judai.

However, after their union in season 4 Yubel is able to accept Judai having bonds with other people doesn't mean that Judai will abandon them.

The parallel with Amon and Echo shows that Judai and Yubel have the potential to destroy each other, but by accepting each other's grief thy both changed for the better instead.

Plate 9 - The Hermaphrodite

The hermaphrodite is the smybol of the marraige of Solar and Lunar (Sun and Moon.) This is usually embodied by a chemical wedding. This post will be shorter, because I already detailed Judai and Yubel's chemical wedding in this post here.

The Splender Solis depicts a winged figure with two heads, one male and one female. The masculine side of the figure is solar symbolism, his radiant shield, his red wing, his golden halo. The feminine side of this figure is lunar symbolism, her white wing, her silver halo, the egg she holds in her hand. Menstrual cycle are lunar, eggs are lunar, etc.

Yubel’s design is a Rebis, split male and female down the middle. It’s even implied in their backstory they were more masculine, and through an alchemical process to become a dragon altered their body to look as such, giving them several feminine traits.

Yubel as one boob and one pec, one muscular leg and one femine leg, speaks in two voices a deep masculine one and a light feminine one, defaults to using masculine “boku”, but plays a feminine role to comparison Judai’s more straighforward masculinity, they even have their face split one side being drawn with eyelashes.

he appearance of the Hermaphrodite comes after what Jung called the Conjunctio, metaphorically the marriage of Solar and Lunar, or the physical marriage of alchemical sulfur and mercury. While the imagery of plate 9 is quite explicit in its depiction of the hermaphrodite, it is subtle in comparison to another illuminated medieval text: the Rosarium Philosophorum (Rode Garden philosophy)

Judai and Yubel also literally duel together in a Rose garden.

When opposites are finally reconciled, the great hermaphrodite is formed. Judai even refers to this as an act of finally purifying the light’s corruption from Yubel’s soul by uniting it with the supreme king’s soul. The union is a purifying process, and the end of Yubel and Judai’s long journey of losing each other and finding each other again.

However, in order to be purified they have to both let their old selves die in order to form something new, the final death but one they experience together. In order to do that both need to experience a dismemberment.

Plate 10 and Plate 11

I'm coupling these two together because the Severing the head of the king an the bath represent the final process of death and rebirth.

Alchemy is violent, Solve et Coagula requires things to dissolve away before they can coagulate together again. Before the psyche can rebuild, it has to be ripped apart. Before a relationship can get better, two lovers need to clash.

The image itself is set in a city in a countryside, a man is holding a decapitated head severed from a body lying at his feet. Both Judai and Yubel experience a dismemberment at one point or another. In another classical alchemical text Lunar King and Queen experience this dismemberment together, in order to represent the violent union of opposites.

Judai experiences Ego death after his friends are dissolved and adopts the moniker of the supreme king. When he's finally snapped out of it, Hell Kaiser takes his helmet off and throws the helmet to the crowd below in a symbolic decapitation.

Yubel is torn to pieces when they re-enter earth's atmopshere, and quite literally are reduced to just a hand the way the body's limbs are all cut off. They need to use duel energy to restore each other. The second time they dissolve in the duel against Judai and Johan and they physically dissolve a second time and need to possess Johan's body in order to recover.

Another feature of the Splendor Solis painting is the kingdom by a river in the background invoking water, and Air which is related to the sword suit in tarot like the sword the main holds.

Judai and Yubel duel atop the clouds (air) and recalls the past when the air starts blowing the clouds away revealing a kingdom by the waterside.

While experiencing the past he recalls the violent surgery Yubel endured to be reborn as a dragon, literally tearing their body apart in a painful procedure.

Afterwards Prince Judai touched by the sacrifice Yubel made for their sake, unites with Yubel, promising Yubel their eternal love. He also recalls that he and Yubel were together in their past lives, and therefore they've already experienced one death only to be reborn again and meet each other. Judai: You did this... to protect me. Yubel: It is fine. Protecting you as you grow from a child into an adult is my duty after all. Judai: Yubel, I promise you. My love will only belong to you. No matter what anyone says, I will keep loving you.

The union and promise also take place by the waterside, which is symbolic of the bath which is the final plat of the Solis.

The final image is a man sitting in a bath, with a fire beneath it. The plate is an analaogy for sublimation the boiling fo a substance - Judai experienced a sublimation when the water of the clouds turned to air, in a breeze that revealed his past.

IWhen a bath appear in fiction it's often depicted as a man and woman bathing, though it doesn't necessarily have to involve water. For Judai and Yubel, it's their final union brought about by Super Polymerization fusing their souls together.

Judai even refers to this process of purifying the corruption of the light of destruction by joining his soul together with theirs.

Yubel is not destroyed, but rather pacified with a single touch must like Esther with her king, and ends up giving up on their plans of destruction from one act of communication and understanding.

The parable contains a reference to Medea.

“OVID the old Roman, wrote to the same end, when he mentioned an ancient Sage who desired to rejuvenate himself was told: he should allow himself to be cut to pieces and decoct to a perfect decoction, and then his limbs would reunite and again be renewed in plenty of strength.” (Trismosin 33).

Medea married the hero Jason. When he asked her to strengthen his father, she instead ritually killed him, bleeding his old blood away only to restore him later. Medea's also famous for dismembering her brother so that's kind of fun.

Yubel is a very Medea like figure, the embodiment of a woman scorned, after Jason abandoned Medea to marry a new wife, Medea decided to avenge herself by killing his wife, his children, his new father in law but sparing Jason. Her revenge is making him just as alone as she was. Yubel also cannot bring themselves to kill Judai, but take out their pain on all of his friends so Judai will have nothing left but them.

However, as mythcrafts says:

This image relates the ultimate cost of enlightenment, and the curse of growing up; all growth requires sacrifice. New life demands a little dying.

The path is physically painful. The man in the bath is being boiled. Chemical weddings are violent. Hudai screams out in agony when his soul is being fused with Yubel's. He even says that this fusion might destroy who he is now.

However, acepting that death is what allows both Judai and Yubel to take the first steps into healing together.

The plate is also a metaphor for the Hermes Trismegistus,  “it arises from the earth and descends from heaven; it gathers to itself the strength of things above and things below” often shortned to "As above, so below."

Judai and Yubel's chemical wedding in the material world, also radiates to affect the cosmos or the world of the heavens. We see this in the effects of Super Polymerization changing the world around them, as it cuts to several characters in the outside world as the destruction of super poly spreads outward.

However, after the violent process of disolve et coagula is over, the two are empowered by each other to fight the light of destruction together. The change is now spreading out to the cosmos. They begin a journey of atonement which lasts even beyond season 4 and into the rest of their lives, to make up for the destruction they've caused.

Judai's friends who've been dissolved away finally return at the same time, and even Judai who is pronounced dead makes a return by the next episode changed into a fusion of himself and Yubel.

Death and rebirth, Grief and healing, all of Yubel's grief even dissolves away into tears as they finally let go of the idea they need to hurt others as much as they've been hurt.

Also because this is citrinitas the entire scene is dyed yellow. By accepting Yubel into his soul, Judai has transformed the dark night into a solar light. THe sun has risen for them both, as the lunar queen reunites with the solar king, they are no longer servant and master but equal.

 The third stage, citrinitas, brings forth the light of the sun (the masculine), a light which magically transforms the shadowy and fearful subconscious into valuable consciousness. From the dark night of rubedo, to the pale morning light of albedo, the sun rises in citrinitas to the culmination of day in rubedo.

As Judai and Yubel depart together, we finally move onto the fourth stage of alchemy Rubedo where Judai and Yubel become one whole self!

I'll elaborate more on that on my next alchemy post though, because alchemy is still a four step process and there's still more to come for Judai / Yubel.

[carinasibila]

PICK A CARD Adjustments You Should Make This Imbolc Season

Disclaimer: Only take what resonates and leave the rest behind. I am only posting this reading on profiles I’ve listed on my Linktree (https://linktr.ee/carinasibila) – all other profiles that might post it are fake. Decks used in this reading: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Tarot Blue Bird Lenormand* The Curious Cat Club** PILE 1 King of Pentacles, Fox*, S’more** Back of the deck: III of Stakes The cards counsel you to take time to rethink your attitude towards work this Imbolc Season. You’ve fallen into the trap of trying to do everything yourself – perhaps because you’ve been disappointed by people you’ve worked with in the past. This mindset is working to your detriment: without other people to support you when you falter, you’re building on sand. To create lasting success in your work, you’ll need to employ foresight and make plans in which you delegate/collaborate but also keep a measure of control over the work process. PILE 2 III of Chalices, Lily*, Fishmonger** Back of the deck: II of Chalices For this Imbolc Season, the cards want you to work on managing personal relationships. You’ve (unconsciously) adopted the habit of taking relationships for granted and not bothering (enough) to invest time into keeping in touch. This hurts you and the people close to you. To rectify this, you should make time to regularly meet with them for fun get-togethers so that you don’t lose sight of each other. Putting effort into rebuilding and maintaining high-quality relationships will serve you well. PILE 3 III of Scythes, Heart*, Entomologist** Back of the deck: II of Scythes You’ve adopted a bad habit in regards to your decision-making: you’re too afraid of hurting the people (potentially) affected by the respective decision, so much so that you mostly decide based on emotions and lose sight of your own interests in the process. The cards reveal that this Imbolc Season you’re spiritually in a good place to work on figuring out a better approach. You’ll be able to unlock the wisdom necessary to create your own personal balance between pursuing your interests and looking at the world with the empathy and compassion that is important to you.

[luvzxr]

Little Pougie

Chapter 5

previous, next chapters.

So I'm going to go ahead and repost because I kinda fucked up my last part of the story and I don't want people to miss it and have all the chapters messed up for them because that's just not fun. HOWEVER, I will post chapter 6 today as well just to catch up.

If you'd like to read ahead you may. My wattpad will be linked here from now on!

Also, when I started this story on wattpad I did make a spotify playlist as well which is public so it will be linked as well if you are the type of person to listen to music while you read!

Summery; In which fem!reader is the little sister to John B Routledge. Sweet, gentle and innocent. The complete opposite to JJ Maybank but he finds himself falling for her and he can't stop himself doing so.

Pairing; Fem!reader x JJ Maybank

Word Count; 3,290

Warnings; Throughout this series there are talks of abuse, drug and alcohol use, trauma, talks of self doubt and wanting to be unalived. Possible smut in the future as well so read at your own risk!

05. Teach Me

(Y/n) was kinda in the mood for death right about now.

Actually no, she didn't necessarily mind the situation she found herself in but she would much rather be at home. She wanted to be curled up next to their busted up AC, book in hand and pure joy with the silence of being the only one home for a few hours.

She didn't want to be here because it was too hot to be here. Sweating, grossing with the slight uncomfortable feeling of sand between each of her toes. Her brother and his friends would consider this a dream come true. (Y/n), however, did not.

It wasn't like (Y/n) hated being out and about to bask in the sun but when it was in the high 90's with little to no wind to cool off, she certainly had a word that came close to hate.

"Yknow, you'd cool off in the water (Y/n/n)," John B hinted, finger extending lazily towards the crashing waves in front of them while he took a seat next to her, "trust me. You'll thank me later,"

They were at the beach. One of the popular surf spots around their town.

The boy surprisingly didn't have to convince her very long to come with, (Y/n) just openly decided to for once to not put up a fight and go out. However, she suddenly wished she had put up a fight because she was highly regretting her decisions now.

"Shut up JB," (Y/n) grumbled, a small eye roll in the process, "you didn't tell me it was suppose to be almost 100,"

"Best day to go surfing!"

(Y/n) wanted to reach over and deck her own brother in the face but that would be mean and she was trying to have a good day with everyone. No need to start with physically assaulting her own sibling. "I hate you,"

"No you don't,"

"Pretty sure I do,"

"You'll get over it," John B snickered, shoulder nudging her own in a playful manner.

(Y/n)'s head shook, suppressing a smile because if her brother saw he'd know he had at least manage to make her smile and she didn't want him to know that.

"You should really just come to hang out with everyone," John B suggested, standing to his feet.

(Y/n) wasn't the type to be very talkative regardless of who it was and she kind of wanted to decline his offer but being a complete and utter introvert to the people John B called family just seemed rude.

Of course she's talked to all of them and even considered herself close with Sarah and Kie but that doesn't take away from the fact that she most of the time preferred to be alone or with her brother and JJ because she felt the most comfortable with the two.

She took a few more seconds to decide before utterly coming to a conclusion. "Okay, I'll come over."

"Great!" John B grinned, making his way towards the group closer towards the water.

(Y/n) pushed herself up using her palms that laid out in the gentle sand, standing to her feet before cautiously following behind her older sibling.

The rest of the Pouges were huddled around one another, staring out towards the crashing waves while passing around a lit blunt and beers in hand.

Sarah actually tried to be close Sophie and it wasn't just because she was dating her older brother. Sarah knew that (Y/n) seemed to have the urge to meet people and make friends but it just seemed like she struggled a bit to do so. Her social anxiety was pretty rough on her at times.

Sarah just wanted to try to help (Y/n) get into the habit of feeling confident in herself and her actions and (Y/n) appreciated the blonde girl more than she was willing to let on.

Watching John B find something to urn for other than the past was a big moment even if Sarah didn't see that quite yet.

(Y/n) could and it was a big deal to her.

(Y/n) remembered a time where Kiara and Sarah couldn't even be left in a room together because everyone thought one of em might end up dead if it happened which was funny to look back on now because they were so close. 

The little scheme that John B and the two other boys pulled works back then and now the two girls seemed to be inseparable.

 "(Y/n)!"

"Hey (Y/n/n)!"

"What's up (Y/n/n)!"

Sarah, Kie and Pope all managed to sync together, attention now on the younger girl who revealed herself behind John B. It wasn't too often she joined in on their shenanigans much less join on her own accord most times but regardless, they tried to include her and make her feel welcomed.

It wasn't that (Y/n) didn't like his friends because if she was honest, they felt like her own flesh and blood too— even if they weren't— No, she just found herself not being able to speak half the time or when she did, all she ended up doing was stuttering and stumbling over her own words just as she does her own feet and it was embarrassing enough when it came to being a genuine klutz.

So most times she tried to keep the clumsiness to a minimum because the less there was, the less moments she had to cringe about remembering how it could of all went so much more smoother if she hadn't done this or that.

"Hi guys," (Y/n)'s hand raised up gently to wave with a small, cheeky smile.

She was hesitant to join the circle because it just usually wasn't her thing but John B was quick to react when he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gently pulled her in.

"C'mon Pougie."

Once the girl adjusted to her standing position she took notice that rugged blonde was no where in sight which was odd because there is no way in hell that man would miss out on the excuse to sit around in a circle with his closest friends and smoke some weed or drink a beer.

She had expected him to be the one who had even lit the blunt or even instantly getting everyone into the spirit for this, in fact, was a beach day and most of the time that meant nothing was off limits.

"Where's JJ?" (Y/n) questioned, glancing around one last time to make sure her own eyes weren't playing tricks on her.

Pope's head jerked a bit out towards the water, "out there."

Her eyes scanned the shimmering crystal water until they landed on the dirty blonde. He sat afloat on his old foam surfboard that currently was only idle. He was waiting— but it seemed that he previously already was engulfed by the water because he was already drenched from head to toe.

His body synced so well with the movement of the waves and the way they jerked and pulled around him. He made it look so easy to just sit and float upon water that was just waiting to pour right over top of him and take him right off that board.

However, that just wasn't JJ. That wouldn't happen.

(Y/n) couldn't even imagine herself out there even though the girl practically lived off the water and watched her brother over the years surf she just could never get the hang of it.

John B did try to teach her how. He went through all the basics, he showed her the stances she needed to take and even the precautions when the whole thing went south but she just never got the hang of it. He was too nervous to even let her out on the water because he was terrified something might go wrong.

He had every right to be nervous too because even on land (Y/n) had a hard time keeping her balance on the board, even in sand. Her form often made him worrisome because all it took was one inexperienced surfer and one wave that could take her out and drag her under.

He was too scared to take that chance with her.

He felt bad but eventually he tried to find ways to cancel plans to teach her because his anxiety was just too damn high. He truly felt like a parent who tried to teach their kid how to ride a bike for the first time.

Only this one required more caution and he couldn't be with her on that board if something went wrong.

"What's he doing?" Her eyes never left the man out on the water. She kept track of him even when the waves seemed to cover him from afar.

"He's waiting for the perfect wave," John B spoke, his eyes also trained on the male out on the water. His arm still strung around (Y/n)'s shoulder and his other wrapped around Sarah's waist, holding her close.

(Y/n) recalled that wording before, back when John B was trying to teach her how to surf. Perfect waves often meant the water was smooth, almost glassy and the waves weren't folding in different directions. In Sophie's mind it was hard to tell the difference but then again, she didn't get much of a chance to learn that far ahead.

As her eyes trained on JJ they also began to glance out further where they locked onto movement.

A large wave was approaching. And fast.

"Wait.. like that one?" She pointed out, navigating for her brother of what she saw but he'd already seen it.

His head bobbed slightly, "Yup. That's the one."

It was pretty easy for John B to notice the perfect waves because he'd been surfing for as long as he could remember. It was like second nature for him to just know what the right ones were and when to abort if they were too dangerous to take on.

Most of the time though, JJ took them on anyway and John B often wondered how the man himself wasn't dead yet.

(Y/n) watched intently from the shore, eyes glued on the Maybank boy as his body seemed almost relaxed and slowly laid across the board stomach down. His arms began to paddle himself towards the oncoming monster of a wave and Sophie could feel her own heart drop at the sight.

She knew how reckless the boy was and how he often took risks he probably shouldn't being taking in the first place. She hated the fact he'd do it too but everyone else seemed to always have faith he'd come back alive. Even though most had to use that as a mask to hide their own worries and fears for the boy because JJ hated the fact his friends would show worry for him.

JJ seen worry or fear as pity and he couldn't stand it. Seeing that emotion on their face only seemed to irritate him because they had better things to worry about or fear than losing him.

At least that's how he felt.

(Y/n) is the only one out of everyone that the boy ever truly let show that emotion towards him. Not because she was John B's little sister because that excuse expired a long time ago. Where she began to grow up and realize that not everything was rainbows and unicorns and that eventually— when you least expect it— things turn to shit and you are challenged on if you can survive what's thrown at you or you drown trying.

No, that most definitely wasn't it. (Y/n) was just the person who cared for people and their welling being. She liked to be helpful and caring where she could and even if she couldn't, she still found the perfect little ways of being there for the ones who needed her the most.

She was like a piece of gold but she was way more valuable than the real thing and worth more than anyone could ever offer to her.

JJ valued her, even if he didn't show it all that much but he'd slowly became her protector more than her own brother was suppose to be. And he had to admit that he use to hate it.

He hated the idea of it. He use to hate the fact that he made that promise to John B years ago and wished he'd never spoke those two sacred words to him because then maybe he wouldn't have to be looked at like he was some knight in shining armor. That's not who JJ was, he wasn't some rescue pup for some girl who he use to find aggravating and how he wished he could just clamp his palm over her mouth and she'd magically shut up.

But things change and so do people.

So as (Y/n) watched his board inch closer and closer towards the waves she could feel her heart beat almost as fast and all she could do is watch and pray that the stupid blonde wouldn't get dragged under and never come back up.

Her eyes followed his every movement. The way his body jumped up from his laying position as he was almost face to face with the waves. She watched how his body twisted and turned all while keeping his balance, how he gliding across the water with ease and instead of being worried anymore she found herself mesmerized.

(Y/n) took into account how he'd done this his entire life and how he mastered every movement and stance throughout the years up until this point. JJ was just a natural when it came to surfing and he knew he was damned good at it too because when he came off that water and was looking back at the group while he took his seat back on the board, there was nothing on his face but a shit eating smirk.

He really was the best surfer that John B knew and also would never admit to JJ's face because he had enough ego as it is.

"Let's go JayJ!"

"Yeah JJ!"

The whooping and hollering could be heard all throughout the beach from the small group calling out to their friend who was making his way off the water. His entire being glistening as he walked up towards the shore where everyone was.

John B finally let go of his two favorite girls, walking over to slap hands with JJ and pull him in for a short but sweet chest hug. All while a smile was spread across both of their faces. JJ's full of confidence.

"That was fucking amazing JJ," John B beamed, his excited tone could be heard from miles if it hadn't been already. He may never admit to JJ himself that he was an extraordinary surfer but he'd pay respect where it was due. And this was one of those times that it certainly was.

The blonde couldn't hide his ego even if he tried the hardest to do so, it just would be no use. He was pretty surprised himself because deep down he even had doubts.

Of course, he would never show it but he honestly felt like that wave would of knocked his ass right off that board and he'd come up from the water a tad bit embarrassed. However that just couldn't happen to JJ, he wouldn't allow it till the day he dies.

Which is ironic considering the boy often face plants when they were in a haste to get somewhere. Just a small quirk of his.

"That was really good JJ," her voice was heavenly and gentle which caught his attention almost immediately.

"Oh, Pougie came to watch me? I'm flattered," he teased, laying his board down in the sand and beginning to make his way over towards Sophie. His hand place atop her head to ruffle up her hair a bit.

She gently swatted at his hand and gave a well deserved roll of her eyes, "shut up. I'm serious Jay. That was really good."

"Listen to her man, she doesn't even compliment my surfing," John B chimes in, a small but playful pout was across his lips. Sometimes her own brother made her want to slap him just for being her own flesh and blood.

(Y/n) shook her head, already fed up with her own sibling at this current time but tilted her head up towards JJ again, "can you reach me?"

His eyebrows furrowed and his glance back to John B made the nerves in (Y/n)'s stomach turn because she already knew how they'd react to the question but she wanted to try again.

"I don't know Princess.. That'd be up to your brother on if he'd let me or not," his unsure tone stood firm, making it known that it wasn't up to him but up to John B. He knew how John B felt about (Y/n) and surfing and even though it truly broke the man's heart because they grew up on the water, he felt it was safer that she'd stay clear of the sport all together.

"John B, I'm not a kid anymore. I wanna learn and I'm tired of being babied," she sighed and pouted a tad which was hard not to see a child in (Y/n) when she'd do things like that.

John B contemplated a moment, trying to decide between his gut and the fact his own sister had a point of always being babied but it was just because he cared. His lips pursed into a frown the longer he took to answer her.

"You promise me you listen to him? What he says, goes. Okay?" He cracked.

He could feel his own heart rip in two because part of him felt he needed to start giving her opportunities because eventually she'd act like he had as a teen, even though he still was one himself. She'd grow too curious and eventually do things behind his back which he knew he wouldn't be able to handle. He didn't want (Y/n) growing into that.

The other part however, was the unknowing fear he felt deep inside. The type of fear that made your stomach twist and turn even at the thoughts or images of what could happen. He'd felt like the parent ever since (Y/n) was born and he always had the parental intent because somehow— deep down, he knew she would be the only family he had left.

(Y/n) nodded in agreement and trying to also hold back a smile with a little dance of victory but eventually that façade cracked and a little smile shown across her plush lips.

"Pinky promise me Pougie,"

Pinky promises was something the siblings had done to show the seriousness of their matters. To them, it showed trust and understanding but often times never came out unless it was something that needed to be taken more serious than other situations.

And to John B, this was as serious as serious came. He needed to know that his baby sister would be okay and leave learning without a scratch on her. That he wouldn't have to worry like a sick parent about her when it came to learning from his own best friend.

His pinky extended out, lingering and waiting for her much smaller one to wrap around and interlock.

"Pinky promise." She spoke, her pinky interlocking with his and with that he pulled her into a tight hug. His chin laid on the top of her head with his arms wrapped tight around her.

"Then he can teach you."

After the heart felt moment between the two, John B let go of (Y/n) and shifted himself towards JJ, "take care of her man. I need you to,"

"Don't worry bro. Pougie will be safe with me. As long as I'm around, nothing will happen to that girl."

[bullet-prooflove]

The Joker & The Queen: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader

Tagging: @hardballoonlove @dempy @words-and-seeds @cosmic-psychickitty @xoxabs88xox @proceduralpassion @crazy4chickennuggets @kmc1989 @oureternalbond @ashcosmo @hardballoonlove @djs8891 @shanimallina87 @chickensrule @@ssa-sadboi @queenslandlover-93 @iwannabeinthesequalmrghostface @malindacath @dreamlandcreations @midnightmagpiemama @littlebadariell @imaginecrushes @luckyladycreator2 @shepgurl @flrboyd @nani-kenobi @adaydreamaway08 @lovelyladymayy @cheyrenee @inkandarsenic @stressed-chas

It’s further down the beach, a little way from ‘The Hard Deck’ that you find Jake. He’s sitting in the same spot the two of you spent the night staring up at the stars, trying to put names to of all the constellations. He’s still in his uniform, but he’s stripped off his boots and socks, his feet sinking into the sand as he watches the sun set across the ocean. He has a beer bottle in his hand, hanging between two fingers. He doesn’t say anything as you sit down alongside of him, your body brushing his.

You know what happened today, you heard about it through the usual channels. It’s a wake-up call, not just for him but for both of you. Phoenix is an exceptional pilot so the fact her plane had crashed is enough to scare the shit out of anyone. Both her and Bob were recovering in the hospital, minor injuries but it still hits home because it could have been anyone of them.

“I���m an asshole.” He says simply, his gaze fixed forward on the waves as they lap across the shore.

“You say that as if I don’t already know.” You tease lightly as you study the profile of his face.

He’s hard to read when he’s like this. You know he’s shut down, the same way he always does when he’s struggling to process. Sometimes you just need to give him a minute, because it’s hard untangling the mess of thoughts in your head after something like this.

“I’m the best.” He says taking a sip of his beer. “And I make sure everybody knows it.”

“Yes, you do.” You agree, your elbows coming to rest upon your knees. “But I haven’t met a pilot who doesn’t have an ego. It comes with the territory. It’s part of what allows you to get your ass in the air and do the shit you do.”

He turns his head towards you, his eyes meeting yours and there’s such an earnestness in them that it makes your chest ache.

“If I’m selected for this mission…” He says carefully. “There’s a possibility that I won’t be coming back.”

It’s the way he says it that strikes you and you realise this isn’t like the other times. There’s always uncertainty when he flies but this time…

“You’re saying there’s a high probability.” You summarise.

“Yea.” He says simply.

There’s a silence between the two of you. You know what he expects, for you to get up and walk away, to leave, to say this isn’t what you signed up for. It’s happened before, every relationship has ended the same way. For Jake it seems inevitable. The ones he loves will always leave and he will always be alone.

“I want to be honest with you.” He tells you, his voice rough as he speaks. “Right now, you can pull the plug, walk away and I would understand…”

You shake your head.

“I’m not made that way…” You trail off, trying to find the words to explain how you feel. “When I say I love you I mean it, it isn’t conditional. Whatever time we have together I’ll take it.”

He sighs before setting his beer bottle down in the sand.

“Anyone else would be running in the other direction right about now.” He says softly, the edges of his mouth tipping up into a small smile. “But somehow you’re still here, still in my corner.”

“Always.” You promise him, your thumb trailing over the curve of his cheek as you guide his gaze so that it meets yours. “It’s what people like us do. We stick together.”

He can hear the honesty in your words, feel the truth behind them. When he kisses you it’s with a  tenderness he holds for no other person in this world, because you’re his, the other part of his heart, his soul.

“I love you.” he whispers as his lips brush over yours. “Just remember that alright? Whatever happens just remember that I love you, that I’ll always love you.”

Love Hangman? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Want to read more Jake? Check out his Masterlist!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[aoifeshifter]

Please I want no neeeeeeed a joshua ravensbergen fic

(Also welcome hope your first post goes well)

i miss the beach so were making it set at the beach

It starts, as it usually does, with Reagan Leonard standing on the top deck of the Outer Banks beach house in a tiny white bikini, yelling down at Josh.

She’s got one hand shielding her eyes, curly red hair half up in some complicated braid she definitely forced Malayna to help her with, and the other hand propped on her hip like she owns the entire North Carolina coastline. Her skin is already sun-warmed, her string bracelets pulled high and knotted tight, and her oversized linen button-down is flapping in the breeze like a flag of superiority. Her accent is thick, annoyed, and unmistakably hers.

“Joshua! I swear to god—if you don’t get your ass down here in thirty seconds, I’m throwing your phone in the ocean!”

She gets three boys and a dog poking their heads out of the sliding glass door below—Gabe Perreault, shirtless and still brushing his teeth, her older brother Ryan with his hair wet from a shower, and her boyfriend, holding a banana like a weapon, clearly caught mid-bite.

Aoife points at him. “Yes, you. Banana boy. You’re carrying the chairs.”

The blond doesn’t argue. He never does. He just swallows the bite, hands the rest of the banana to Ryan (who takes it without blinking), and grabs the fold-up chairs stacked in the laundry room without saying a word. Like she didn’t just threaten to throw his phone into a body of saltwater.

 Like he wouldn’t let her.

Will Smith, another one of Ryan’s friends, whistles as Joshua passes. “You’re so whipped.”

Reagan’s boyfriend is already smiling, throwing a backward glance up at the deck where she has started marching down the stairs in sandals. “She’s scary, man.”

“She’s five-three.”

“She’s Reagan,” Joshua says simply. And that’s all the explanation he needs.

The sand’s already scorching by ten AM. Ryan’s girlfriend Kenzie already set up the towels, Audrey’s half-asleep under a hat the size of a UFO, and Will and Malayna are arguing over who cheated in last night’s card game. Grace and Danny are “supervising” from under an umbrella with mimosas in hand. Reagan, however, is sprawled across Josh’s back like he’s her personal beach towel. She’s damp from swimming already, skin smelling like sunscreen and ocean.

She rests her chin on his shoulder blade and grins.

“Do you think I’m scary?”

Joshua glances at her over his sunglasses. “Terrifying.”

“Liar.”

“You threatened me with bodily harm before I was even out of bed.”

“You took my pillow, Josh.”

“You were sleeping on me.”

“Exactly.” She bites his shoulder, lightly, and he just laughs. His whole body shifts under her.

Ryan walks by, stares at the scene, and mutters, “You two are disgusting.”

“Thank you,” Reagan says sweetly. “Now go get me a popsicle.”

“Get it yourself.” Her brother retorts.

Josh is already moving. “What kind?”

“Red,” she says, already sliding off him, kicking sand at Ryan’s shin in the process. “And if they’re out of red, then blue. And if they’re out of blue, then you better fight someone.”

Josh gives a mock salute and jogs off toward the cooler. Reagan watches him go, her sunglasses slipping down her nose.

“He’s such a little bitch for you,” Kenzie says without looking up from her book.

Reagan shrugs. “He likes it.”

“She’s not wrong,” Malayna adds. “I caught him folding all her socks the other night.”

“They were inside out,” Joshua calls from twenty feet away. “It’s wrong to leave them like that.”

Reagan snorts behind her hand.

It’s always like this in the Outer Banks.

Reagan, in a flowy dress she’ll tie at the waist, bare-faced and sun-touched, pulling Josh down into the water even though he says it’s too cold. Reagan, mouth full of chips, correcting everyone’s form mid–beach volleyball game while perched on her boyfriend's shoulders like a warlord. Reagan, hanging off his arm like an accessory made of sunshine and stubbornness and trauma and eyeliner.

And Joshua Ravensbergen? He lets her. Follows her. Carries her bag, refills her water, puts aloe on her back without a second thought. He doesn’t try to lead because he doesn’t need to. He’s just happy to be here. He’s just happy she’s here.

Sometimes, when it’s just them—when the others have gone in for lunch or naps or more sunscreen—they’ll lie pressed together on the towel, whispering.

Reagan will trace lines across his face like constellations. Joshua will hum under his breath and wrap her pinky with his. She always needs the contact. Always.

“I love you,” she says, sudden and soft, the sun making a halo of her hair.

Josh blinks like he hasn’t heard it before, even though she says it constantly. “You do?”

“Mhm,” she hums, leaning in and smirking.

He kisses her, careful, reverent, right on the lips. “I love you too.”

“You better,” she says brightly. “I’m not transferring to Stanford to be closer to Will”

[crocomum]

ouuu pine for g1 jazzprowl?

[ PINE ] sender resists receiver's attempts to comfort / care for them. /This is connected to Chapter 8 of my fic Star In The Sky/

Sand and clay-brown rocks flung underneath his speeding wheels and animals scurried past; all obscured by the only just lightening sky and the clouds of dust that followed Prowl’s race through the desert. As The Ark drew nearer, he transformed without breaking, forcing him to run with the carried momentum before finally slowing to a walk.

Prowl had made an offer of company to the Autobots’ newest ward, one he intended to follow through with. But that did not mean he was in any hurry to return to base, or once again be covered by the wave of mourning that had drenched the ship one week ago. Grief, regret, and even anger had continued to lap at The Ark’s copper walls in the days that followed, permeating the ships metal and soaking the residents inside.

Including one young, guarded, volatile seeker. Prowl opened his communications to inform Starscream of his return—only to pause

The outer lights of the ship had been dimmed with the coming dawn, but the shadowy figure standing by The Ark’s doors, positioned just to the side of the artificial glow, was unmistakable.

Marching forward, he said, “Jazz, yare not scheduled for quarter deck watch. Your orders were to monitor teran communications for any indicators they—”

Jazz held a servo up, explaining with a smile, “Blaster’s on it. Tried calling in a favor but he told me not to worry about it.” The mech then stepped closer, meeting the praxian halfway. They both stopped centimeters apart. Black servos reached for him, coming to rest gently over his hips. “I got other things to worry about tonight.”

Prowl did not resist the shorter mech’s hold, inappropriate as it was, but he also made no move to reciprocate. “My only concern is your recurrent need to rewrite my schedule without acquiring the appropriate—”

He was pulled forward, only stopping when his chassis bumped against Jazz’s own.

“Talk to me,” Jazz softly pressed him. “We haven’t talked all week.”

He frowned, “We have spoken at length about the possible repercussions of the Decepticons’ latest attack. Which is why I scheduled you to…” His words trailed off, finding the soft glow of Jazz’s visor uncomfortably distracting this night. As was the cautious push of an electro-field against his own, silently asking for connection. It simmered with worry and some deeper emotion Prowl had yet to acknowledge.

“You’re late, Prowler,” Jazz said as he began rubbing small circles into Prowl’s hips with his thumbs. “And with Jetfire back on tour it got me thinking…” Jazz’s grip tightened ever so slightly, field wavering with apprehension. “You’re never late.”

His spark twisted in its casing, his wings stiffening to the point of pain at his back at being reminded of the shuttle’s presence on Earth. Which was an unbefitting response from both of them, given their stations. They were the two highest ranking Autobot officers; they could not fear their enemy’s second. Prowl could not allow Jetfire to retain that much control over him. Never again.

Prowl swallowed, “Your concern is noted, and…my projections were correct. His father arrived after the ceremony had already ended.”

“You took him home?” Jazz intoned, no trace of accusations in his vocals. Prowl had assured he had no such intention when the possibility had been brought up during a meeting. Had stated he would employ the local authorities to deal with what would no doubt be an intoxicated, belligerent human.

“I took him to a hospital,” he monotoned.

Jazz hummed and resumed rubbing circles meant to soothe over black hips. “That was nice of ya.”

“I did not—”

“—I’m sure Chip woulda been happy to see his pops finally take a ride with ya.”

Prowl’s words choked in his intake and before he could properly process it, he was returning the embrace, doorwings lowering at his back. “He was inordinately concerned with the man, given their strained relationship.”

A comfortable silence stretched between them, the only sound to fill the space being the gentle thrum of car engines. The pause in conversation gave Prowl time to reorganize his thoughts and plan what he would say to Starscream once he met with the mech. And to reflect on his time spent with the one before him.

What had once been a centuries’ long indiscretion had become a millennia lasting affair.

Their relationship had not been made public for obvious command structure and fraternization regulation reasons. Both of which Jazz attempted discredit the integrity of at least once an orn, a frequency which was increasing the longer they spent on Earth. Prowl did not know the instigating factor that had caused Jazz’s shift in behavior, but the mech had become…bolder in expressing his affections for the praxian. What had once been nothing more than stolen moments in the dark, hidden behind closed doors, had become something Prowl could no longer shutter safely away. Jazz was less careful with his flirting and Prowl less stern in his reprimands, if he remembered to give one at all.

“…I should have sent an escort,” he quietly admitted.

“Coulda, woulda, shoulda,” Jazz quipped.

Prowl’s frown and narrowing optics were reflected back to him in Jazz’s visor. That response had hardly been appropriate and not what he had expected from a mech attempting to comfort him. After a short invent, he continued, “The chances of a Decepticon attack were minimal given the powerplant’s low output, but they were not zero. And with Jetfire’s unexpected return—”

A single digit pressed against his derma, silencing him. His frown deepened against it.

“I know you can think up a hundred different ways that day coulda gone. You’ll lock yourself up in that big processor of yours and get stuck in a cycle of what ifs,” Jazz vented as he removed his digit to place the servo back on Prowl’s hip. “I don’t want to lose you to the numbers, not tonight.”

“…I promised Starscream we would continue our commemoration once I returned,” Prowl informed him.

“And you will, soon as I finish recharging. Got a week’s worth of missin’ you to make up for.” Then Jazz did that thing with his visor that told Prowl exactly what it was he wanted. And Prowl’s spark was impossibly warm as he did just that, tilting his helm forward so his chevron was pressed against the front of Jazz’s helm.

His frown became a nearly imperceivable smile, though he had no worry it went unnoticed by his partner. And then, because it needed to be said, “This is weakness.”

Their fields pressed into each other, comfortingly familiar, full of unrepressed affection, and—

“Naw, mech, this is love.”

A huff that might have been a laugh left Prowl’s vocalizer, and he dimmed his optics. Love. It was an illogical emotion that caused mecha to behave recklessly. An indulgence the Autobot’s second-in-command could not afford to take. As lead tactician, love had no room in his battle computer. The considerations required to maintain such a strong passion were a literal waste of his processing power.

He had been adamant in the beginning of his encounters with Jazz that no matter how grateful he had been to the Autobot third, their relations would never be more than physical. The saboteur had accepted his imposed boundary without complaint, assuring him they would never be more than what Prowl was ready for.

Prowl hadn’t understood what the other meant at the time. Then, vorns later, Jazz had brought him a tiny piece of a broken crystal garden, stolen during one of the saboteur’s many excursions behind enemy lines.

“Perhaps,” he conceded. What came from Jazz after was unmistakably a laugh. His spark thrummed pleasantly to hear it; the sound one he had not heard for a full week.

There was nothing logical about their time spent on Earth. The immediate de-escalation of the war had been something not even he had predicted. The planet’s dominant species being one so welcoming to the Autobots had also been unexpected. As had Prowl’s life being saved by one and the bond he had formed with the human afterward. Maybe the only logical action for him to take under these unusual circumstance was to give in and embrace the organic world’s illogical nature by doing something illogical of his own.

Maybe it was time he finally admitted that Jazz was right and what he felt was indeed—

The sudden sounds of a transformation sequence startled him, and he jerked away from Jazz, certain they had been caught. His doorwings flicked high at who he saw, the mech having already transformed into his alt mode; the only one of his make within the Autobot base.

Prowl started toward the seeker, servo raised, and shouted over the roar of jet engines, “Starscream? Where are you—”