#Demon Princess

[yuriartillery]

me when im winning: my actions are just because i am strong and need no other moral explanation. if you find me repulsive then the solution is simple, you must make me stop by your own will

me when im losing: well lets hold on now really when you think about it your position of relative power has stunted your growth as a person experiencing the world and you could have a much more nuanced grasp of things if you were faced with an absolute adversity

[yuriartillery]

theyre tapping me for "novel" field-expedient execution methods. i dont really get it, i think they're pretty standard variations on a theme but one can't help but giggle like a schoolgirl at the thought of watching a traitor get sent flying by a ramming tank at full speed

[yuriartillery]

they're calling her "rance but for high explosive anti-tank ammunition"

[yuriartillery]

the infantry blockheads learned that the red wine we recently appopriated was foot-pressed and DIDN'T TELL ME. IVE BEEN HAVING A GLASS WHENEVER POSSIBLE AND I DIDN'T KNOW

[yuriartillery]

if i wasn't supposed to take my tea peacefully there why is it called a "no-man's" land?? i am clearly no man!

[yuriartillery]

don't think about it as "murder" sweetheart, think of it as the weight of history coming to bear against their fragile lives through the barrel of your gun! [gives you a forehead kiss] remember that as they had no choice but to die you had no choice but to kill, i love you <3

[yuriartillery]

[watching footage of missiles at night] this isn't enough to shake my resolve they aren't that cool- STOP TRYING TO LIFT MY SKIRT. IM NOT "IN HEAT" FROM WATCHING MISSILE FOOTAGE

[yuriartillery]

some fell and malign force beyond my comprehension is altering the metaphysical character of my words through processes that i can only infer. i can sense it. the transatlantic mortar is not "#impractical weaponry #supermassive weaponry #blunders" its reasonable

[yuriartillery]

my proposal for the transatlantic mortar isn't absurd and unreasonable. the diagrams of it sinking into the centre of the earth due to its incredible mass are blatantly exaggerated. in fact, they are malicious smears on my good standing as an artillery officer! of course i accounted for the corroilois effect when submitting the designs, do you think im an idiot???

[yuriartillery]

wait why am i even bothering with close combat. pride has gotten the better of me and ive forgotten my roots. itll be just as satisfying to pick through the crater as it would be to strange my foe

[yuriartillery]

there's nothing to be gained from self-deception. it feels good as fuck to push your hair out of your eyes with the palm of your hand while glaring a little at someone

[yuriartillery]

cute little mousey girl volunteered to be a spotter for my battery i hope she sounds more assertive over the radio

[yuriartillery]

oh, you're cavalry? pff. i mean. ahem. wow it must so. romantic. with the horses. well im very busy with my gun maintenance so if you would be on your way [tries to trip you so you fall in the mud when you turn from me]

[yuriartillery]

just heard about the cases of cannibalism from the sections of the trenches we've subjected to absolute siege conditions. im being a very brave princess and exercising herculean self control to restrain myself from saying "god i wish that were me" of the survivors

[yuriartillery]

don't you worry one bit~! with my mind for timing and ballistics all of your woes will be annihilated by anti-material shells along with your self!!! that's a demon princess promise!!!

[yuriartillery]

now im just a humble artillery princess with thousands of adoring subordinates so take this with a grain of salt but if i arranged for a parade in my honour and they played dad rock and didn't have any fucking snare drums id be livid