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theboywithburninghands · 1 year ago

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We’ve reached the day of the wedding. This chapter was a delight to create. Keep an eye out for cameos from characters made by my friends @noble-crimson and @cleoarrow. There’s also an embedded song link to better help you better experience one particular moment. I changed the lyrics though. Enjoy, I sure did. @fernstarsblog

T/W: Era appropriate sexism, discussions of abuse and drug addiction

Primum Peccatum Ch. 16: Like Rain on Your Wedding Day

It was a difficult decision, but Pomni and Altonicus ultimately decided to slow down the tapering process in time for the wedding.

Jax had mostly recovered from the worst of his opium reduction, to the point that he mostly only suffered from cold spells and occasional headaches. Of course, it would become severe again once they went from one drop of laudanum to half a drop. But, when this debacle was over, they could focus on fully getting Jax off of opium once and for all. For now, it was about getting the ceremony over and done with.

Pomni, naturally, told Jax about the encounter with Boone. Every detail. It was, after all, important to communicate in a relationship, so she had heard. She did make an effort to emphasize the fact that Boone was the one who ended up hurt, not her, but that was hardly lying. Journalists would call it “editorializing.” She despised Boone and by no means aimed to protect him, but her fiancé was ill and did not need to aggravate his condition by enacting vengeance on his brother. That would jeopardize both his health and also arouse Drexl’s suspicions, had Boone not already turned stool pigeon and betrayed them…

“He attempted to harm you..?” Jax said. His voice was eerily quiet.

“Yes he did,” Pomni said. “He did not succeed in doing so, and his apology appeared genuine enough… But he did.”

Jax took a deep breath. He closed his eyes in a slow blink, then reopened them.

“Help me to my feet,” he said.

“Do you need the lavatory?” Pomni inquired.

“No. I wish to discuss these events with my brother,” Jax said, pulling his bedclothes aside.

“I assume by ‘discuss,’ you mean ‘beat.’ And I can’t allow you to do that.” Pomni said.

“And why not?” Jax asked. His expression was like a hot anvil, unmoving and silent, but radiating palpable energy.

“For once thing, in your present state, you’d be trounced,” Pomni replied. “You have difficulty even standing without my assistance at the moment. I think I could even defeat you as you are now.”

Pomni smiled thinly.

“That was a joke. But the other reason is, you’d be walking right into the lion pit. Boone is at your father’s, and I assume your brother won’t hesitate to cower behind him. What if he reveals the truth of your withdrawals right there? There would be no way to avoid your father’s wrath, and who knows what that dragon is capable of when truly furious?”

Jax’s shoulders slumped a bit. He looked at the floor for a while before glancing up at Pomni.

“You raise fair points. I suppose Boone eludes the consequences yet again,” he sighed. “You are frightfully calm for what you’ve just endured.”

“Calm? Hardly. Though I may be placid on the surface, I assure you, I am not. If I’ve taken away anything from these past few weeks, apart from my love for you, it’s that I cannot change this country’s poisoned ideals through shouting and the gnashing of teeth. Think of it like a boil; squeezing and picking at it in blind anger will only aggravate the pain, as the infection runs deep beneath the skin. If you truly wish to be rid of the agony, it must be treated with surgical calmness, draining every last drop of bacteria-ridden filth from the wound until it can at last heal and be free of pain. That’s why I seem so calm. I am angry, but impotent flailing has gotten me nowhere. All the energy I would have spent on crying and cursing my lot in life has been spent on you and… the day of the wedding.”

Jax smiled weakly. “Preparations have been made, I assume…”

“Made to the best of my ability, darling,” Pomni said. “We can only hope things will play without too much issue.”

“Pomni,” Jax said. “Do you believe Boone will tell my father?”

“I believe he’s capable of doing so. But I warned him that should he, The Gentleman in Red that saved me will pursue him. I do not know if he believed me. But… you can rest assured that I will be the first line of defense should your father arrive.”

Pomni offered a hand, Jax taking it after a moment.

“Never alone, darling,” Pomni said.

—

All remained silent. It reminded Pomni of the eye of a hurricane, falsely still and bright before the thunder and torrential rain resumed. She occasionally waited until three or four in the morning downstairs in Mr. Kinger’s sitting room some nights, clutching anything heavy that could be used as a weapon. A fire poker, a bread knife, an old Dorvician kukri Kinger picked up on his travels, the blade long since tarnished but quite sharp. She eventually settled on a heavy brass candlestick. It was comfortable enough to keep in her lap while reading but heavy enough to knock someone’s lights out.

On one of these sleepless nights before the wedding, Pomni wrote her vows. To her surprise, it was difficult. Quite difficult, really. Writing what she promised to do was quite easy, anyone could do that. But making it sound genuine and not a cold statement of facts, that was an entirely different beast.

She wrote, then erased, wrote a bit more then erased. She leaned back in her chair and chewed the end of the art pencil she borrowed from Kinger. Pomni thought reading so many romance novels would prepare her for romantic writing, and yet, here she sat, at her wit’s end. She looked over at Jax.

He had managed to get to sleep. He had his arms crossed over his stomach, the book Pomni lent him tucked under one hand. She smiled a bit. He looked… peaceful. He deserved the rest. The two of them had been through so much together and it had only been three weeks… Three weeks? That short an amount of time… it had felt like an eternity.

She paused. Hm. That was a good opening line actually. She wrote it down, the well-oiled cogs of her mind beginning to turn. She continued to write, erasing every now and then, until the page was full. She didn’t need to read it more than once to memorize it. So, she supposed she didn’t need it any longer. She picked up the bit of paper, fully intent on ripping it in two…

She looked at Jax. He slept soundly. She smiled a bit once again. She instead folded up the bit of paper and tucked it into her purse. She might have not needed to read it anymore, but it would be a pleasant keepsake.

—

The day of the wedding arrived, and there had been not a single word from The Krolik Estate. Perhaps Boone had made good on his word after all, but there was little time to dwell on that. Pomni was led out of The Rooker Estate by Zooble, driving the family’s carriage. They helped her onto the passenger’s side of the driver’s bench, flicking the reins. Maple and Juniper flicked their heads, snuffling and heading up the road.

“Well, here we are at last. Are you prepared, Ms. Shutnyk?” Zooble asked.

“…I have prepared. But I am quite nervous.” Pomni said. “…Is it true father intends to sign me over to Krolik International as soon as we go through with the ceremony..?”

“I cannot be certain. He has been very quiet ever since the day Mr. Krolik floated the idea. What you saw the day you tried on your dress was the most he’d spoken before or since.” Zooble replied.

“I see… He’s likely still furious with me. I’m very sorry if it’s made your work more difficult, Zooble.” Pomni said.

“On the contrary,” Zooble almost chuckled. “Your parents have been so wrapped up in your wedding that my job has been rather simple. Merely housekeeping. I’m sure I’ll be back to carrying your mother’s superfluous purchases at the market by tomorrow.”

Pomni laughed a bit, but soon she was back to frowning.

“…Zooble. I wanted to say that… I’ll miss you greatly. You’ve been so kind these past three years. I would hire you on as our caretaker if I had the revenue.”

Zooble looked at Pomni. Their eyes smiled.

“I will miss your company as well, Ms. Shutnyk.” Zooble said. “No matter what course today takes, I hope you’ll stop by every now and then, if not for your parents, at the very least for me.”

Pomni nodded. After they arrived at Lakepoint, decorated with white frills and teeming with guests, some Pomni had never seen before and some she recognized distantly, Pomni threw her arms around her caretaker, who more than happily returned her embrace.

—

The ceremony was set outdoors, just by Falconhurst pond. Citronella candles burned on the edges of the property to ward off mosquitos. Two sets of white wicker chairs were arranged on the lawn behind Lakepoint, the grass meticulously trimmed and cleaned of waterfowl leavings. The guests had been instructed to dress simply, the only stipulation being that one’s outfit must include a blue or red flower, red for women, blue for men. On the left side of the aisle sat Pomni’s family. All of her father’s family was deceased or long forgotten in Telychia, so Mirella’s relatives took up these seats. They were Silurians at heart, outgoing, jovial and talkative, everything Pomni was not. She had hardly met any of them, yet she expected she would be well acquainted with them by the time the wedding was over. She held no grudges against them, but sincerely hoped they would ask before they touched.

Zooble had a place in the audience beside Mirella in the front row. They wore their usual tuxedo with two flowers, one red and one blue. Mr. Kinger looked quite dapper in his surprisingly well-preserved wedding tuxedo and top hat, although he did smell a touch like moth powder. He wore a blue rose lapel pin, a gift from the Sultanate of Dorvicia for his work on the biology of desert insects.

In the backmost row sat a shapeman in a red tailcoat, his head nothing but a large set of dentures with a pair of Heterochromic eyes. He held a cane in one hand and an empty wine glass in the other, which he occasionally pantomimed sipping from. The other guests found it wise to simply let him alone, as he arrived at the ceremony with an invitation identical to everyone else’s, speaking to no one and keeping his differently-colored eyes squarely on the altar. He wore no flower.

On the right side sat a rainbow of rabbits. Jax’s family, cousins of his from Drexl’s side of the family, as well as his late mother’s, most having arrived from Ediacara and speaking not a word of Hirnantian. A few other beastfolk derived from different animals sat amongst the many-colored crowd. A family of what appeared to be abnormally large deerfolk consisting of a father, his son and his daughter, a lone corvidae woman seated near the back, and two crocodile men, sitting sharply at attention. Old business partners of Drexl’s back in Ediacara, perhaps.

Drexl himself sat in the front row, sentinel-like in a cobalt blue tuxedo. Zuzanna sat on his left side, ghostly and pretty in a delicate pink dress and a red corsage about her wrist. On his right sat his three sons, all in matching black tuxedos and dyed blue roses on their breast pockets, and Kali, hand in hand with Alton in a red dress. She looked radiant, as always. Boone kept his mouth closed, tapping a foot rapidly on the grass. Osvaldo sat up straight, appearing rather nervous but altogether content. Alton looked as pleasant as he always did. Being a doctor, he must have practiced having a pleasant expression to avoid upsetting any patients.

Gangle sat just beside the stage on a rolling plywood platform, playing “Clair de Lune” on Lakepoint’s grand piano. Vladimir and Drexl wheeled the instrument out to the stage earlier that morning. Though Drexl could have done so on his own, given his mighty stature, Vladimir insisted that he aid him in some way, so was instructed to hold the piano steady on the platform as Drexl pushed it.

Sister Ragatha approached the stage. It was decorated with a white trellis backdrop and a wreath made from ivy vines and a bouquet of red and blue flowers. She wore her usual gray habit, the hood down and her bright red curls hanging free. A rose of matching hue was pinned to her chest. She put her hands on the pulpit, opening The Gray Accord to the appropriate passage, and smiled out to the crowd.

“Good morning, everyone,” she said, the murmur of conversation coming to a halt, Gangle taking her ribbons off the keys and placing them in her lap. “We’re gathered here today to celebrate the union of two wonderful young souls in marriage. Though they only met recently, Ms. Pomni Annabelle Shutnyk and Mr. Jax Bazyli Krolik have become an inseparable duo.

“In fact, you all should know that Mr. Krolik almost caught his death of flu two weeks ago. Ms. Shutnyk has remained vigilantly by his side every single day since, nursing him back to health and keeping him company through the most difficult of the symptoms. That is the kind of pure and dedicated love The Allfather aimed to instill in all beings from our inception.”

Boone appeared to shift a bit in his seat. The Gentleman in Red notably looked away from the stage to focus on Boone, and the beastman was still again. The Gentleman kept his eyes upon Boone a moment longer before looking back to Ragatha.

“I think it prudent to read a passage from The Gray Accord that discusses love. It’s a passage that has certainly inspired my own path towards enlightenment as a Gray Sister, and one that I hope will inspire Mr. and Mrs. Krolik’s union. Ahem…

“‘Love is the single most malleable emotion The Allfather gave to us. It guides us towards The Hereafter like a beacon of light, teaching us to seek the ones who bring us the most happiness and to forgive our enemies. But it can so easily be distorted into jealousy and obsession, or worse, corrupted and turned to mad hatred. That is what a true celebrant of The Allfather should strive for, this pure and soft love, as it will surely guide one to Him.’ Book 2, Verse 9.

“I wholeheartedly believe that the union that has formed so quickly between these two is a sign of this ideal love The Accord speaks of. Though drawn together by financial necessity rather than fate, these two young souls will foster a relationship that will endure through the ages. And I consider it a tremendous honor to deliver them into each other’s arms. Everyone stand, please.”

The crowd rose to their feet, Osvaldo getting up and exiting. Drexl made a move to put a paw on his shoulder, not being fast enough, and watched his second son disappear into Lakepoint with fiery eyes. Zuzanna hurried to his side and whispered in his ear. Drexl listened with a frown and shook his head, but appeared to acquiesce, waving a paw. Zuzanna smiled and followed after Osvaldo.

Ragatha looked over to Gangle, who nodded at the Gray Sister, furling and unfurling her ribbons before putting them to the ivory keys and beginning to play “Gymnopedie No. 1.” Not quite as grand as a church organ, but no one could be asked to move that behemoth.

Jax Krolik emerged from the back entrance of Lakepoint, dressed in an immaculate black tuxedo, custom made extra wide loafers and a bow-tie. On his breast was a dyed blue rose. Although he had dark lines beneath his eyes and his fur wasn’t quite groomed to perfection, he wore his signature wide Cheshire smile and carried himself with an air of pride. Zuzanna walked alongside him, arm in arm. She held her own head up rather high. She was the only woman who could serve as his escort after all, it was a high honor for a housekeeper such as herself.

The audience watched him approach with encouraging smiles. Some of his relatives gasped, having not seen him since he was a toddler. Alton and Kali beamed and waved. Drexl bore a faint smile. Boone made eye contact with his youngest brother and quickly averted it.

Zuzanna stopped at the altar and smiled at Jax.

“Jestem z ciebe dumny,” she said, kissing him softly on the forehead.

“Really now Zuzanna…” Jax said with a wave of his paw. He walked up the altar and nodded to Sister Ragatha, who offered her congratulations.

Gangle added a bit of flourish to her playing as she began The Wedding March, the section even children on the playground could hum along to. Everyone turned again to the back of the aisle and were greeted by the sight of the bride herself.

Pomni stood beside her father, in her iridescent feathered dress and clutching a bouquet of red roses. Her veil was thin as early morning vapor. Vladimir walked with her, arm in arm and with a proud grin on his face. Pomni smiled thinly, keeping her gaze firmly on the grass. All those eyes on her. Best not to look. She only exchanged glances with one guest, the nameless Gentleman in Red, who raised his empty glass in a toast. Pomni could be seen mouthing the word “You..?” before moving along down the aisle.

“She’s so pretty…” said one of Jax’s relatives, bright yellow like a blooming daffodil. Pomni felt a hot blush creep across her face, but felt significantly more emboldened, hearing such sweet words from a complete stranger.

Jax himself watched Pomni reverently. She was normally dressed so modestly, seeing her in such a gorgeous dress was a shock to the senses. She looked like a dove, petite and elegant. He blushed.

“Make me proud, lisichka,” Vladimir said, giving his daughter a hug. As she hugged him back rigidly, she made eye contact with Drexl. His affect betrayed no emotion, so Pomni offered none in return.

She ascended the three steps to the altar, placing the bouquet of roses in the awaiting ceremonial vase. Ragatha gave her a radiant smile. Pomni met her groom’s eyes.

“It’s alright,” Jax whispered. “Look anywhere. I won’t be offended.”

Pomni smiled gratefully and looked at the rose pinned to his chest. Roses didn’t bloom blue naturally, they had to be dyed that color. There has been cross-pollination experiments to create a blue rose, but they only ever came out purple- Oh, blazes, where was her mind? Ragatha had begun to speak, the crowd taking their seats.

“-gathered here today to witness the union of two souls in marriage. May The Allfather smile down from The Hereafter on this blessed day. Now, before we begin the vows, in lieu of having a speaker, our couple has requested a small performance from Jax’s brother and best man, Mr. Osvaldo Krolik. May I direct your attention to the grand piano?”

The crowd all turned to the piano. Gangle had risen to her feet as a gray rabbit approached the platform. There was a faint creak of wood from The Krolik side of the audience, like that of someone gripping the seat of their chair hard enough to break it into sawdust. Gangle went to take her seat on the Shutnyk side of the audience as Osvaldo sat at the piano, flexing his paws.

“Good morning. This is an original composition I wrote specifically for my brother and sister-in-law. I hope you’ll enjoy it,” he announced to the crowd, his eyes on no one in particular.

“Here we go…” whispered Jax with a nervous smile. He took hold of Pomni’s hand, and she squeezed his paw in response.

Osvaldo cleared his throat and closed his eyes for a few moments, silently counting himself off and beginning a soft piano melody. He sang a few wordless notes before he began the first verse.

“Would you like to say something before you leave?

Perhaps you’d care to state exactly how you feel?

We said ‘goodbye’ before we said ‘hello…’”

His voice was sweet and elegant, precise as the brushstrokes of a painter. He picked up speed, gaining a small smile.

“I hardly even like you, I shouldn’t care at all…

We met just six hours ago, the music was too loud…

Wed to you? I’d gain a day and lose a bloody year…

But I… Would like to know…”

He tossed his head back and began to sing louder.

“How do you feel, how do you feel?

How do you feel, how do you feel?”

He sang a few more wordless notes, one foot tapping along to the time signature in his head. Most of Pomni’s relatives had leaned in with interest by that point. Music was of great importance to Silurian culture, and Osvaldo had them enchanted. The Gentleman in Red appeared to sing along silently, even though Osvaldo never performed the song for anyone before today.

He continued.

“Not a single word was said, the night still hid our fears…

Occasionally you’d show a smile, my heart skipped a beat…

We met each other far too soon, yet the world seems fresh and bright…

“I see you lying in the sun, I wish that I was there…

Tomorrow brings another sky, another day with you…

Have you time before you leave to greet this lonely man..?

And I… Would like to know…”

He began the second chorus in full swing, everyone in the audience listening intently by this point. The family of deer exchanged looks of wonder, Gangle could be seen nodding her mask in time with the song’s rhythm, and some of Pomni’s relatives were speaking excitedly in Silurian.

The rhythm of the song slowed, Osvaldo’s eyes closed, his performance winding down in time with the music.

“Goodbye to you…

Now I bid adieu…

I’ll… say I love her one dayyy…”

Osvaldo gave a short aria, his piano-playing picking up speed before coming to an abrupt stop. He took a few deep breaths and placed his hands in his lap.

A few moments of silence and the crowd erupted into applause. Pomni’s relatives stood,

clapping and whistling, calling out “Bellissimo!” and “Chiedere un bis!” The Krolik side of the audience had gotten to their feet as well,

Altonicus cheering for his younger brother with Kali, Boone clapping discreetly along with them. Even some of Drexl’s business partners had risen to applaud, the corvidae woman clapping her feathered hands and repeating “Wonderful!” and the family of large deerfolk cheering as well. Osvaldo made eye contact with the son from that family, nigh on eight feet tall with warm, honey-brown eyes and fur the color of chestnut. He smiled at Osvaldo, who flushed and smiled back.

Drexl stood, but moved not an inch. His eyes were ablaze.

Osvaldo bowed shortly to the audience before walking up onto the stage and standing beside Jax.

“Excellent job, Oz,” Jax whispered.

“I was enraptured,” Pomni added.

Osvaldo sniffled and wiped his eyes. “Thank you both…” he whispered back.

“What a lovely performance from our best man!” Ragatha said after the crowd sat down. Drexl was the last to be seated. “Very well, if everyone is ready, we shall begin with the reading of the vows! Mr. Krolik, let’s begin with you, shall we?”

“We shall,” Jax said, pulling a bit of paper out of his coat pocket. “I actually only had a few days to write these due to being ill, but I’m rather proud of them.”

Jax cleared his throat.

“‘Pomni Annabelle Shutnyk. Before I met you, I had no idea what to expect. The daughter of my father’s business associate could have been anyone. I must admit, I was not expecting a 110 pound powder keg.”

A few people in the audience chuckled, Zooble included. Pomni smirked.

“I admit, I was nervous, yet intrigued. You were uninterested in the banal pleasantries of polite society. You did not even entertain the idea of conforming to the expectations of anyone but yourself. In short, you went where you wanted to go and refused to be led anywhere. And that is truly commendable.

“However, it was not until I fell into dire straits that I saw the warm and compassionate soul that you are. When I fell violently ill, not only did you stay at my bedside through all hours of the day, you sacrificed sleep and stayed awake with me so I would not have to face insomnia alone. You read to me, the entirety of Goethe’s The Ties that Bind-”

He briefly turned to the audience. “Excellent novel, might I add.” There was scattered laughter.

“-until your voice became a mere rasp. And not only have you been a gift to me, but you’ve also helped my own family as well. You’ve befriended my sister-in-law and eldest brother…”

Jax gestured to Kali and Altonicus, the former biting back tears and the latter smiling proudly with a nod.

“…encouraged my best-man and second eldest brother to pursue his dream of becoming a vocalist despite societal pressures…”

He gestured to Osvaldo beside him, who shrank somewhat but retained a diffident smile.

“…and have even helped my third eldest brother see reason, and that is, in itself, a monumental task.”

Jax gestured to Boone, giving him a severe look. Boone looked off to the side.

“I am thrilled to have found, by sheer chance, a woman with a wit as sharp as a bayonet, a will as stalwart as a mountain, and yet with a personality as refreshing as a desert oasis. I cannot wait to walk this world at your side. You have captured my heart, Pomni. I love you.”

He smiled gently and nodded, tucking his speech into breast pocket. Pomni’s mouth quivered. Allfather above, she was supposed to follow that?! She was flattered, certainly, goodness sakes she felt as though she might weep… But how could she ever match such gentle vows?

Well, she only had one set memorized, and was never much good at improvisation. There was only one option.

“Jax…” she began, then paused for a moment. Her mouth had courteously turned dust dry. She swallowed and continued.

“Jax. These three weeks before our marriage have been perhaps the most transformative of my life. Having been arranged to be your bride, I had myself quite convinced I would dislike you. I’m sure you remember my attitude towards you upon our first meeting in my father’s library. I believe I called you a mooncalf?”

Jax laughed, although he was the only one to do so. Pomni continued, swallowing again.

“But, since then, I’ve come to realize that there are few people I’ve met that are as intriguing as you. You are intelligent, forward-thinking and quite frankly… fun. For 25 years, I’ve felt alone in my interests, and thanks to you I’ve finally found someone who not only shares my passions, but who I can also match wits with. I have never felt so liberated as I do when I am with you… Despite the tribulations of the past few weeks, illness related or otherwise, I would not trade the time that we’ve spent together for all the crowns in the world. I, too, am so greatly looking forward to the life I shall lead with you…”

Pomni looked into his lemon-colored eyes with her own aquamarine pair. She felt perfectly comfortable, not a single itching sensation on her body.

“Thank you for helping me realize that I can devote myself to someone while still being my own person. Thank you for loving me as I am and not seeking to change a single aspect of my character. Thank you for… Thank you for making me feel wanted… I love you so much…”

Twin tears rolled down her cheeks. She sniffled and wiped them away, averting eye contact. Jax tried his own eyes with a knuckle.

“Join hands, please,” Ragatha said brightly, opening a small box in front of her to reveal two wedding rings, one with a royal blue sapphire and the other with a crimson ruby. Pomni and Jax held hands. Pomni hesitated only for a moment before gripping his paws. Love him she did, fears weren’t conquered over night.

“Do you, Pomni Annabelle Shutnyk, take Jax to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, through good times and troubled, ‘til death do you part?” Ragatha asked.

“I do,” Pomni said. Jax squeezed her hands. Pomni took the red gemstone ring from the box and slid it onto Jax’s left paw ring finger.

“And do you, Jax Bazyli Krolik, take Pomni to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, through good times and troubled, ‘til death do you part?” Ragatha asked.

“I do,” Jax replied. He took the blue gemstone ring and slid it onto Pomni’s right hand ring finger.

“Then, by the power vested in me by The Gray Church and the country of New Hirnantia, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” Ragatha said, taking a step back.

Jax lifted Pomni’s veil, revealing her rosy face and nervous smile. He leaned down. She tilted her chin up. Their lips met for the first time.

The audience erupted into applause. Osvaldo applauded right along with them, but, after several seconds, hastily slid down off of the altar and hurried away.

“Osvaldo!” Drexl barked. He received no response.

Pomni Krolik remained on the altar with her lips pressed against her husband’s. It was the longest she had ever touched anyone. And for the first time in her life, she was unwilling to let go.

#the amazing digital circus #funnybunny #tadc jax #tadc pomni #jax x pomni #oh no cringe #tadc arranged marriage au #tadc ragatha #tadc zooble #tadc gangle #tadc kinger #tadc caine #tadc oc #tw drugs #tw abuse discussion #pink floyd

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