#F!reader
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majinbangus · 10 months ago
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Not being used to the princess treatment or being taken care of. You're not one to rely on others, so when you get in a relationship with Soap, you don't realize how independent you are, relying on yourself to do things, not going to him for emotional needs. Sometimes, even taking care of physical ones on your own because you don't want to bother him or seem clingy.
He gets upset, naturally.
You don't let him open doors for you, nor do you let him pull out your chair at the dinner table. If you're sick, you insist on sleeping in the guest bedroom and taking care of yourself until the illness has passed. When you're on your period, he's excited to give you anything you need, but then you don't ask him for ice cream, or chocolate, you don't even ask for cuddles??
Not to forget the times when you didn't wake him up to help take care of you because you didn't want to 'disturb his sleep'. Fuck his sleep, he could've gotten that later, he would've loved to have a sleepy fuck with you. It almost feels like a betrayal that you snuck away to the guest room to get yourself off. If you'd asked, he would've happily taken care of you.
He needs to feel needed. Needs you to need him. Wants you to need him. Has he not shown you that he can provide? That he can take care of you?
But then think about finally giving in, and slowly letting him take care of you. He breaks down your walls, coaxes you into accepting his help, spoils you with affection. Peeling away that hard shell, and revealing that soft underbelly that didn't know how much it wanted and needed to be treated so sweetly.
It's a process, but Soap will get you used to the princess treatment. You don't have to be so strong all the time. He'll give you what you need if you give him the chance.
("I just don't want to be needy."
"Hen, I'd give anything for you to be needy. Let me take care of you.")
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ghouljams · 11 hours ago
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You make him worse, he knows that.
It's just so hard to fucking care when he presses you up against a wall, your wrists clutched in one meaty hand, locked over your head so he can feel you up over that stupid little dress. God he loves your stupid little dresses.
You know, he wouldn't have done this shit before. Lived real cautious like before he spotted your pretty behind, didn't fuck with other families unless Price ordered him to, didn't chase after little birdies, didn't fuck around in damp allies... Alright maybe he did that last one, but not like this. Not with a remorseless glee at the way your soft pink dress was getting streaked with grime where you were wrinkling it against the brick. He'd buy you another.
"Simon," You pout, almost reprimanding, "my dress."
"Oh I'm gettin' to it, Princess." He hums, voice rough from the night air and the stale cigarette smoke that still clung to the shadows of the punks he'd thrown out of this damp hole.
His hand slides lower, slips under the hem of your dress (fuck this dress) to hook his finger in the elastic waistband of your panties. Those get dragged down your thighs as Ghost crouches. His fingers skate over your ankle, making sure you're stable in those heels as you lift one foot, then the other to step out of the silk garment. He raises the fabric with a smile and presses his lips to the soaked gusset before stuffing the pair in his pocket.
Ghost presses a kiss to your cheek when he stands, hands lingering on the soft skin of your thighs.
"I like it," He says, finally giving you his opinion on your recent purchase, "be safe."
"With you watching me?" You smile, "I always am."
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 8 hours ago
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I love this! 🥹
Congrats on 7k ♥️ what about Bucky Barnes + last second confession?
.⋆。First (and Last)。⋆.
7k Bingo Celebration
40s!Bucky Barnes x plus size reader
You loved him for so long, and now he’s being sent to war. Will you tell him that you love him before he leaves you behind?
Warnings: angst, fluff, friends to lovers, canon events, last second confession, ww2, time skip, general HYDRA warnings WC: 1k Minors DNI Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library
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You had known this day was coming for weeks, since the moment that damned letter arrived at the Barnes household that changed everything. You knew it was coming but you didn’t accept it, how could you accept the fact that your best friend was being sent to fight in a war halfway around the world and you might never see him again. You don’t think you even processed that he was leaving until Steve stood on your doorstep, his head tilted down so no one could see his tears. You tore down your apartment steps before he could utter a word, blindly running towards the train station you had been avoiding for weeks.
Bucky had always been by your side, a constant comfort that never allowed you a moment of peace. You don’t know when your childish crush on him had morphed into something more. Maybe it was when he cradled your face, wiping away your tears after a date stood you up, or when he blew almost all his money to get you a leather-bound copy of your favourite book. Or maybe it wasn’t just one moment but an amalgamation of every second you spent by his side, watching him grow from a gangly, reckless boy into a charming, honourable man. With that stupid cocky grin of his and blue eyes that held an ocean of fondness each time he looked at you.
You had fallen in love with him and he was leaving before you could even say good-bye.
The station was packed with smoke, people and tears. Families cried over their sons, leaning on each other as hundreds of boys crammed into the train cars, uniforms pristine and rucksacks loaded down with terror and hope. You shoved your way through the crowd, searching each tear-stained face and fogged up window, your panic mounting with each carriage you passed. Were you too late? Was Bucky on an earlier train?
Your mind spun with despair. You should’ve been there for him the second he got his draft letter, should've held him close and reassured him that no matter what, you would always be there. Instead you cried when he got his uniform and refused to accompany him and Steve to the science expo in favour of your own self-pity. You had lost him before you could even have him.
“Bucky!” Your voice barely broke over the din.
“Sweetheart?” You spun on your heel and suddenly, he was there. Bucky jumped from the train’s caboose, uncaring of his abandoned bag as he pushed through the crowd towards you. He looked perfectly put together which made your heart ache. You wanted him in his simple button-down shirt and trousers, lounging in your kitchen.
The crowd parted for just a moment, letting you run straight into his awaiting arms. He caught you like he always did, without hesitation or shame. You buried yourself into the warmth of his body and willed yourself not to imagine the worst. You had to make yourself believe that he would come back because without him, who were you?
“Hey there, gorgeous. What are you doing here?” You wanted to answer him, to apologise for every selfish thing you had done, to even say that you would miss him. But instead you wrapped one of your hands around the back of his neck and tugged his lips to yours.
Bucky stiffened in your arms before he melted into the kiss, holding you even tighter to him as it deepened. You clung to his broad shoulders, his arms, anywhere you could grab while your mind buzzed happily. His hands trailed down your body to your wide hips, making you gasp into his mouth.
“Now what was that for? Not that I’m complaining.” Heat bloomed across your cheeks as you both struggled to catch your breath.
“I love you.” It burst out from somewhere deep inside of you. “I love you so much James and I couldn’t let you leave without telling you.”
He beamed at you. “I love you. My sweet girl, god do I love you but you have terrible timing. Springing this on me when I can’t take you out and treat you right.” Your tears came suddenly, relief dripping down your face and onto his uniform. 
“I have to keep you on your toes don’t I?” The thrum around you began to die as time slipped away. He cupped your jaw, cradling your face as if you were delicate china.
“I’m gonna come back and take you on that date sweetheart.” You laughed through your tears as Bucky’s smile softened.
“You better keep that promise Barnes.” His thumb traced the soft line of your cheek, eyes dropping to your lips once more.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He kissed you one last time before the train whistle screamed and he was pulled away from you. He kept your gaze until the train disappeared around a bend, leaving you standing on the platform, waiting for that date.
——————
90 years later
The buzz of electricity overhead was the only sign of life within the base but still, Bucky kept his gun raised, anticipating the worst. His team had already slipped into the lower levels, letting him ignore the burning in the back of his mind every time he thought about those damned labs. 
With each room he cleared, that burning eased until he felt a bit more like himself again. He knew it wouldn’t all come back, so many pieces have been lost over the years and most of him was bound to you, still on that platform, waiting for the day that he would come home.
Sam’s voice crackled through his earpiece. “There’s more cryo-pods down here. Only one is operational.” His stomach twisted. Who else was subjected to the torture he endured? Or maybe it was a scientist that inevitably would get a government pardon just for the capability of their mind. 
“Got a name plate here, that’s new.” Bucky rolled his eyes and reached for the small plastic part in his ear until the next words froze him in place, a lost piece of himself suddenly clicking back into place.
“Anyone know a Y/N Y/L/N?”
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novaimperia · 20 hours ago
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★ 3am frustrations with streamer!choso
“‘take…your…shirt off.’ what? no, guys, please stop asking me to remove my clothes. for the last time, they’re staying on.”
on balance, choso would say he enjoys streaming – he essentially gets paid to do the things he does for free such as play video games, eat copious amounts of ramen whilst watching true crime documentaries, and talk about his day. the freedom to choose his own schedule and make decisions for himself is priceless. especially since he’s got to prioritise his classes and see his friends and family. 
it took a while to get to where he is now. at first, when he was set on just displaying whatever game he was playing, he had only one or two viewers. but after an accidental click and a flash of pig-tails, face tattoo, piercings, of a shirtless torso, hard and sharp abs, the viewership skyrocketed. comically so. now, he earns enough to be able to retire. all his friends respect and envy him. one must admit he is living the life.
if he had to pick a flaw in this whole thing, however, he might hesitantly and reluctantly point to his followers. they’re both the greatest part about his side gig, what with their never ending jokes and support, as well as the worst; there’s no telling what they’ll suggest in his comments next. 
“chat, stop asking me to go through my underwear drawer. no, they don’t have holes in them.” he squints at the screen and makes a frustrated sound. “i am not going to twerk while naked. guys, what the hell is wrong with you all? just tell me how i can defeat this boss so i can get the materials to level up my venti…oh, thanks, ‘chosoismypuppyboy69.’ i’ll be sure to change my team then.”
sighing, he keeps tapping on the keys, spamming with no rhyme or reason. for a computing student, he’s not very good at these games, but it sure does entertain the twenty thousand people watching at 3am. seeing him fumbling about, flinching at the most harmless of things, and constantly dying is apparently what they’d rather do than get some good night’s sleep. not that he’s any better. the man hasn’t had a full eight hours sleep in years. or maybe ever.
“‘do you tickle your prostate?’ what even is that? alright, that’s enough for tonight. i can’t deal with you guys; you’re like gremlins – yeah, i know what that is; i’ve watched the movie. yeah, obviously i watched it with my girlfriend; you know i don’t watch scary movies on my own. it is scary! i am not going to debate which movies are scary or not. what the hell? stop asking me to flash my dick piercing, oh my god. i regret ever telling you guys about that. okay okay. night, assholes.”
and with that, he logs off and leans back into his chair, staring up at the sky and wondering if the thousands he earned in just a few hours was worth it. 
then, his hips jerk up and a dog-like whine leaves his lips. 
“aw, cho…are they being annoying again?” 
he looks down. the sight of you kneeling between his spread legs, mouthing at his throbbing cock like the cum leaking from his piss slit is ice cream and you’re soaked with the sweat a hot summer’s day brings. ring-clad, his hand falls on top of your head, petting to both push you off and keep you there. “y-yeah, they’re the worst. they never know when to quit. i can’t believe you -ah fuck don’t suck so hard- you stayed there the whole time.”
you shrug, fingers leaving the shadows cast by the desk, flying up into the air and landing on his awaiting, parted lips which sloppily suckles at the sweet juices dripping down your digits. “mmm, such a good boy…how could i possibly leave you to fend for yourself with those horny vultures? who else was going to listen and send you the answers to your questions, huh, cho?”
big hands grip the armrests. the chair rattle with the shaking of his hips. balls squeeze painfully tight whilst choso licks his bottom lip, searching for any remnants of your taste and moaning loud and breathlessly at the feel of your hot, wet mouth engulfing his entire quivering length. grunting, he asks, “did you h-have to choose that username though? it’s -hmm i’m close baby- it’s embarrassing being called a p-puppy boy.”
“you aren’t my puppy boy?”
“no. i am.”
smirking, you blow a kiss up at him. slowly and with an extra amount of mischievous intent, you drawl, “then prove it, cho-cho.”
in this moment, as he stares with lidded eyes at the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen, the kind that sports power that can bring him to his knees at the snap of a finger, he realises he was wrong – his followers aren’t the worst. you are. because they ask knowing they’ll never get what they want whereas you ask knowing you will. you never hesitate to wield that sword, like lady justice, except instead of scales it’s his balls you hold in your spare hand. 
and who is he to argue?
so, with a blush on his cheeks, he shyly follows orders. 
“bark…b-bark…now -ahem- please make me cum. making me hold it in for hours is mean…bark.”
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peasack · 3 days ago
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I have a patent-teacher conference and guys its not okay I'm cooked.
Lowkey a bit of Valentina slander at the end but that's okay cause who likes her anyway.
Thunderbolts x Gn!Teen!Reader
✦ Parent-Teacher conference headcanons ✦
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∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗
✦ Alexei Shostakov ✦
Immediate big bear grin. “Of course! I would love to! Finally, official father duties! I am ready.”
He’s way too excited. You almost regret asking him because he immediately starts planning what to wear like it’s the Olympics.
He introduces himself as your “papa” and tells wildly exaggerated stories about your achievements that didn’t happen.
“Ah yes, Y/N once lifted a car. Very strong. Takes after me.”
The teacher is just blinking rapidly “I-what?”
He lowkey embarrasses you, but he’s also so proud.
Brags about you non-stop and leaves with his arm around you, even if you’re fake-mad at him the whole way home.
✦ Yelena Belova ✦
Acts super casual about it. “Yes, I can go. Why not? Someone must supervise the situation.” But she’s secretly honored you asked her.
She shows up in the coolest outfit and definitely intimidates your teacher a little.
If the teacher complains about you, she’s like: “No. You are wrong. Y/N is perfect.” (Dead serious.)
If they praise you, she’s smug for the rest of the week.
“You know, you could have asked anyone. But you picked me. Admit it Mouse. I am the best.”
✦ Bucky Barnes ✦
Very quiet, kinda awkward. “Me? Uh… yeah. Sure, kid. If you want me to.”
He sits stiffly, probably wears his nicest jacket. Doesn’t say much unless he needs to defend you.
If the teacher says you’re struggling, he’s all protective like, “What’s the school doing to help them? They’re not doing this alone.”
Absolutely takes your side.
If the teacher complains about you hanging out alone, Bucky’s just like, “Yeah? Maybe the other kids should be less annoying.”
Buys you snacks on the way home.
Barely talks about the meeting, just quietly says he’s proud of you.
✦ John Walker ✦
Blown away. “Wait, you want me to go? Like… with you? Of course! Yeah, I can do that. I’m good at that. Totally. Parental figure. Yeah.”
(He’s so flustered it’s adorable.)
Takes it VERY seriously. Nods way too much. The teacher lowkey loves him because he’s polite and enthusiastic.
If they criticize you, John gets defensive FAST.
“Have you considered that maybe your teaching style isn’t working for them? Just a thought.”
Treats you to dinner after like it’s a whole formal event.
“You did good, kid. Real good. Thanks for letting me be there.”
✦ Bob Reynolds ✦
Looks like you just asked him to hold the sun. He’s so touched. “Me? You really want me to go? Yeah. Yeah, I’d be honored.”
Soft-spoken the whole time. Very respectful but sharp when it comes to defending you.
He listens carefully, makes eye contact, thanks the teacher even if they’re being harsh.
If the teacher praises you, he beams.
Quiet little proud smiles. Might ruffle your hair without thinking.
Gets awkward when you thank him.
“Oh—uh, you don’t have to thank me. I’m just glad you wanted me there.”
He'll be smiling after that all day.
✦ Ava Starr ✦
“Why me?” but not in a bad way—just genuinely surprised you’d choose her.
When you tell her you trust her, she agrees instantly. “I’ll be there. You got me.”
Has the most terrifying resting face. The teacher is so scared to say anything negative because Ava looks like she’ll end them.
If the teacher says you’re doing well, Ava’s eyes soften.
She just mutters, “Told you they were good.”
Doesn’t make a big deal out of it. On the way home she just quietly says, “Thanks for picking me.” But you can tell it meant a lot.
✦ Valentina Allegra de Fontaine ✦
"why would I wanna go to that"
Simply doesn't attend.
∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗
Hope you guys liked this one!! My requests are always open<33
Is it obvious that I hate Valentina
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calculatorloser · 3 days ago
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TIMESKIP USHIJIMA
warning: smut
your mind goes into a haze as everything else dropped away—completely lost in it. Ushijima made you ride his fingers. You felt suspended weightless in a moment so vivid, the world dissolved. It felt so good. He curled his fingers and hit your g spot. He knew you too well. Your eyes fluttered shut, lips parted slightly, a quiet gasp slipping out as a flush spread across your cheeks.
“Oh my God Wakatoshi. Stop. I’m going to”
“going to? to what? speak up y/n”
“I’m going to cum” Your body jerked, trembling beneath every touch. It was too much—the pleasure came in waves now, crashing harder each time. Your breath hitched, then broke into a moan, eyes fluttering shut as you writhed, torn between begging for more and needing it to stop. His fingers quickened, no longer slow and teasing. Each motion sharper, more desperate, driven by rising heat.
“Still want to leave me y/n?” You opened your mouth to speak, but your voice broke. A stuttering gasp replacing words as your body trembled, overtaken by sensation.
Using all your breath you cried a soft “no”
“I thought so” His smile widening in victory as your hands gripped the sheets in blind desperation, the only thing grounding you as your body arched and trembled. You were shaking now. Sweat-slick and flushed, lips trembling with every ragged exhale. Pleasure blurred into something sharp, almost unbearable. You gasped, muscles clenching as your back arched involuntarily. Every nerve felt white-hot, hypersensitive. Even the lightest touch made you flinch—overwhelmed, overstimulated as you came undone. Your body trembled in the quiet aftermath, thighs quivering and fingers twitching in the sheets. Chest rising in shallow, uneven breaths. He kissed your temple as he cleaned you up gently, wiping sweat and warmth from your skin with a soft cloth he found in the bathroom.
“You did so well y/n” Ushijima’s voice was low and grounding. “Let’s go home tomorrow okay?” You didn’t answer. Head nodding in submission as you nestled closer, eyelids heavy, cheek pressed to his warm skin. Eyes shut as you leaned in. A minute later, your breathing evened out and your grip loosened. You were fast asleep. His eyes lingered on the sleeping face before him and he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead. Careful not to wake you.
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danidrabbles · 15 hours ago
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Ohhhhhh, how I loved seeing these two again 🥹
The start is so fitting for them, him chasing her through a garden. I love how much fun they're having, how the laughter is echoing through the air, how she can picture his scowl as he chases her. And of course he catches up with her.
Logan scoffs, grip tightening, “Could find you anywhere, sweetheart.” > 🥺
“Can’t hide from me.” And you know what he means. That it’s useless to try, not with his senses. Not with the honey-sweet stickiness between your thighs, his own personal bouquet > 😳
The imagery you use is so nice, the plants and trees and flowers (more on that later), but also stuff like this,
All the while his own hands wander. Nearly as methodical as the chase - brushing over learned places that send a shiver down your spine.
I also love how much they need, all the Hunger licks at you both, "s'what you needed, isn't it?", "Please," "I need it. Need you." but still taking their sweeeet sweet time working him inside 🤭
Logan's "Wanna feel you squeeze it, honey-" but then coming before she is, is sooooooo... good. Pff. 😵‍💫. Wow.
And how her abilities come out, and how he uses his 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Like, this whole bit????
The prick of rose thorns against your wrist. The petal unfurling on the peonies beneath you, as his hips slow. Camellia and gardenia worn like a second skin.
Out of season, but not for you.
It’s lucky, that he has his claws. The punch of metal through flesh, reflecting the sharp grin as he carefully cuts you free.
Please, god, that's so.... strangely romantic 🥹
AND THE EEEEND. His "Don't. I like 'em." when she tries to pluck the flowers off herself 🥺🥺🥺🥺
Thank you for writing more for these two, and thank you for sharing 🥰
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— through the garden
logan howlett x mutant!f!reader
rated e - 2.4k
tags: mutant!f!reader, (newly) established relationship, domestic predator/prey, a chase through the grounds, two cuties in love, flowers as a physical & metaphorical symbol for love, outdoor sex, PiV, creampie
a/n: part of heat waves. a little summer blorbo series ☀️ I imagined the reader in this to be the same as from eden - back when they first met 💖
“Think you’re cute? Tryin’ to run.”
The hot exhale of breath makes you shiver, even as you smile, “Didn’t think you’d catch up so easily. Thought I lost you in the garden.”
Logan scoffs, grip tightening, “Could find you anywhere, sweetheart.”
His voice pitching lower then, something just for you.
“Can’t hide from me.”
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Logan finds you in the garden.
You hoped he would. Needing the open sky above him after so many hours spent inside training - almost as much as he needs you.
Finally leaning into that pull that has been woven between you since the beginning.
Taking root, blossoming in your ribcage until you felt full to bursting. Biting back soft sentiments, knowing it was too soon to voice something your heart had known for so long.
A silhouette that starts dark against the stone walls of the mansion. The familiar white tee and worn blue jeans streaked with a sunset of pink and orange as he moves closer.
That steady pace that you had picked up on, kneeling in the dirt. Weeds yanked from the root, exchanged for fresh bulbs. Eyes flicking towards the sounds of his steps. Slowly rising, and you wait - the heavy weight of your responsibilities shed out here.
Leaving just you and your thudding heart behind.
Your gaze meet his, that pretty shade of brown and green. Close enough now that he can catch the flash of your teeth with your grin and then -
You’re running.
There’s a surprised huff behind you - you can picture his frown, that drawn-together pull of dark eyebrows. A heartbeat passing, before the thud of his boots follow.
You knew he would. Unable to help, after he saw you. Some animal part inside him let free - enticing him into the chase.
Only your knowledge of the grounds and lightness of foot keeps you a step ahead. A laugh echos in the hedge garden - the press of your feet against worn stone, weaving down the paths. Ducking around berms, flowers that spill over in shade of pink and pale cream.
Following a trail you know as well as the back of your hand. Leading you deeper, and deeper into the grounds.
Anticipation spikes, with each heavy step behind you. The thudding spike of excitement and fear blending with the hope that he will catch up.
Heat already pooling low, with that tell-tale twinge of need. Damping the fabric between your thighs, as you flit through the thick line of trees.
Goosebumps prickle across your skin, sweat beading at the nape of your neck.
Just managing to make it through to other side. The long, dirt path before you, framed with the thin, pointed junipers you’d had tended yourself.
Only the roof of the mansion visible behind you through the tall grove as you peel off to the left, and race towards the lake.
The steps behind you coming faster on open ground, as your heart inches up your throat. Unhindered by the weight he carries now, making up for the time spent winding through trees.
Finally catching you, at the old tree by the edge of the water. Arms encircling your waist, ensnaring you as you gasp with surprise and pleasure.
A nose buried in your neck, as Logan crushes your back against his chest. Ignoring the way you wiggle in his grasp, the words almost growled out.
“Think you’re cute? Tryin’ to run.”
The hot exhale of breath makes you shiver, even as you smile, “Didn’t think you’d catch up so easily. Thought I lost you in the garden.”
Logan scoffs, grip tightening, “Could find you anywhere, sweetheart.”
His voice pitching lower then, something just for you.
“Can’t hide from me.”
And you know what he means. That it’s useless to try, not with his senses.
Not with the honey-sweet stickiness between your thighs, his own personal bouquet. A reveal one he loosened during one of your early nights together.
On another evening, you might be embarrassed. Reminded again how he must have known how you felt long before you told him. Cataloging the thundering of your heart. The look in your eyes, the perfume that bloomed across your skin.
Holding himself back for weeks, waiting for you to come to him. To finally take the offers he’d been dangling, wrapped up in slick innuendo - for what they really were.
The butterflies in your stomach burst from their branches. A thrill igniting, pulsing low. Awakening that dormant part inside you, one that wouldn’t mind a chase like this again.
And he senses it - that change inside you, as you squirm to face him. The way your eyes darken when they finally meet his own blown-wide ones, that hitch in your breath.
“And what are you going to do?” You manage, “Now that you caught me?”
His own gaze turning greedy. The flash of teeth in a knowing smile, before his mouth presses to yours.
Letting you feel what the chase - what you - did to him. His tongue dips against the seam of your lips as your hand flattens over his racing heart. How he tugs you flush until it’s impossible to miss the thick bulge in his jeans, straining against the zipper.
The words growled out, with the rut of his hips.
“Gonna take what’s mine.”
Your moan is swallowed, as you’re lowered with him. Tucked against the tree where so many afternoons had been spent beneath the sprawling branches.
Turning pages and lesson plans jotted down between stolen kisses.
Thighs split to make room for him, as the setting sun is blotted out by the breath of his shoulders. Arching over you - unable to stop touching, now that he has you.
It’s almost like you glow beneath him. The pleased curl of your lips, eyes half-lidded. Soaking in the sun all afternoon, warming you down to your bones.
Turning your limbs leaden, as he molds you to fit him. Elbows braced on broad shoulders as your arms twine around. A broad hand spanning across the small of your back, as you let him steal another kiss.
And then another.
You part for him. Moaning into the lick of his tongue. Fingers twisting into thick, dark hair - mussing its careful styling.
All the while his own hands wander. Nearly as methodical as the chase - brushing over learned places that send a shiver down your spine.
Jaw and neck, the pad of his thumb running over your sternum. A knuckle teasing the curve of your breast, as your teeth press against his lip.
Lower, lower.
He cups you, then - a palm curving against your cunt. Hips shifting, as he groans in your ear. Fingers toying at the hem of your shirt, inching it up until his other palm can slip beneath.
Kneading at your breast, feeling the tight bud of your nipple beneath the thin bra.
“We should-“ The start of a protest is half-hearted.
Your game had taken you away from the garden grounds. Unlikely to be disturbed this late in the evening.
And already you’re pressing into his touch - rolling your body until the heel of the hand below grinds against your clit.
“Don’t make me wait.”
Another moan slips free at his words - half command and half plea. Your own fingers sliding from his biceps, the fabric tugged taught over them. Up to lace behind his neck, and draw his mouth down to yours again.
Hunger licks at you both - in the part of your lips, how eager he is to deepen it. Your legs close around his hips as he leans into you, the hand leaving your core so his thigh can press between yours.
His hum echoing yours as the seam of your shorts pull taut, hinting at friction as he gives you something to grind against.
Relief and the need for more twisting together, as he flexes into the roll of your hips. Another nudge and then another, until your own plea slips free.
“Please, Logan.”
There’s another hum, amusement at your impatience - only breaking the kiss long enough to hike your thighs up. The hand leaving your tits to hook around your shorts and underwear. Yanking them down as your knees press against his chest, as his other hand works at the thick, silver belt buckle at his waist.
A sigh against your lips, as he tugs himself free. Pressing you back into the cradle of strong roots as he ruts against your thigh. Hot and heavy, smearing his need against your skin until you manage to reach down.
Fingers encircling the thick shaft of his cock, tipping it until the head nudges against your slit.
Logan is already bucking forward. Knowing you can take it - could smell how ready you were the moment he brought you to the ground.
“Fuck.” It’s ground out, as your heat wraps around him. The slick slide as he sinks in one inch, and then another, “S’what you needed, isn’t it? What you were waiting for.”
“Yes.” You pant, back arching, “Yes, I need it. Need you.”
Eyes fluttering as your ankles end up braced against a shoulder. The bite of his nails against your calf as he seats himself inside you, another betrayal at how deep his need runs as well.
Enough that leaning into it. Near bending you in half in an attempt to get closer. Needing to feel every inch notched deep inside you, pressed flush until the coarse hairs at the base of his cock tease at your clit. The slick drip of your cunt sticky against the heavy sack that rests against your ass.
Stripped down to your bones, you’re just like him.
Needing this as much as he does, still basking in the open air and the sinking sun above, even if you do have to bite back your sounds.
“More.” You manage instead, when he takes too long.
A rough sound in response, almost a growl, before it’s almost becoming too much. Another sharp, single thrust has you fully split open, before he begins short snaps of his hips to keep you full.
Bliss radiates inside you - your fingers quick to drift down, across your belly. Teasing at your clit, as his hands tighten around your legs. Using the leverage to lean back - to watch - as he’s dragged half-way out. The slick sound as he thrusts back in.
How your fingers twitch and stutter. Pressing harder. Lips parting in a pant as he sets a steady rhythm, thighs smacking against the curve of your ass.
Letting your fingers fist in his shirt. Wrinkling the fabric as your hips try to move to meet his. Gasping breath each time he stokes against a spot that brings out the midnight stars early.
Winding you higher, higher. A babble of “yes” and “please”, and “oh my god, don’t stop-“, tumbling from you over and over.
The seeds planted with the first steps of your chase starting to push to the surface, as your fingers trace down to feel him. A low grunt as they tease along his shaft, only to pull more of your slick arousal back up to the throbbing between your thighs.
His gaze snaps back to yours when the words peter out - catching the way you’ve gone stiff, breath held. Eyes half-lidded as your muscles flex beneath his palm, how your fingers move faster as you tighten around his cock.
“Logan-“
“I know.” It’s gritted out.
“Know you’re right fuckin’ there with me. Wanna feel you squeeze it, honey-“
The words cut off, with his groan. The long strokes turning shallow again as he grinds himself deep. His hands dropping to the gnarled roots below, the crack of bark as he chases his own end. Another sharp rut, before he’s spilling inside you.
Your answer is a loose tumble of sounds as you follow, with the throb of his cock. Fingers rubbing soaked flesh as the feel of the warmth spreading inside you sends you over the edge.
A cry cracks through the evening light, as the pleasure bursts from you. The small peppering of buds across the roots of the tree unfurling - petals twisting open as you pulse around him. Stretching out in all directions, blooming over your skin and twisting up the trunk of the tree.
The prick of rose thorns against your wrist. The petal unfurling on the peonies beneath you, as his hips slow. Camellia and gardenia worn like a second skin.
Out of season, but not for you.
It’s lucky, that he has his claws. The punch of metal through flesh, reflecting the sharp grin as he carefully cuts you free.
You’d be one with the earth, without it. Broken down into your base needs, blanketed the emotions buried so deep inside you.
Funny that the man who caused them, would be the one to free you as well.
Silken petals twirl between blunt fingers. A flash of red before the bud is tucked behind your ear. A rose blooming against your temple.
Logan’s expression must match yours, as his arm stretches out. Leaning into this garden you’ve created, cushioned with the physical manifestation of your heart - now worn so clearly on your sleeve.
“Yours, huh?” It slips from you. A call back to earlier - those growled out words as you wriggled in his arms.
“Yeah.” It’s husked out, “That gonna be a problem?”
Your teeth sink into your bottom lip as you grin.
“Never.”
There’s a low huff, his own laugh, as his eyes tip up to the sky.
It used to bother you. The blooms. How obvious they made you feel. Nothing hidden, in the sprout of petal across your skin.
But right now-
You don’t think you’d have it any other way.
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It takes longer to move. To find your leaden legs again. Tugged to your feet, heat warming your cheeks at you fix your clothes back in place.
Still not ready for the gossip. The teasing, despite everything and the affection laced within the words.
The grounds are dark now, as your hand fits in his. Taking the slower route back home, down the path and through the forest. The mansion looming back into view, as you’re drawn back into your life, once more.
“Logan, wait.”
You almost forget.
The blissful smile faltering as your bare feet dig into the ground. Plucking at the petals that still linger in your hair, trying to rid yourself of the evidence.
Still shy, at the way he affects you. How he makes you lose control - your shared tree will surely remain adorned, until tomorrow.
Hands close around your wrists. The brush of a thumb against your pulse, where your heartbeat thrums. Halting you, drawing them back down as he takes you in.
“Don’t.” Logan husks.
“I like ‘em.”
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thank you so much for reading!! �� it seriously means the world 💖
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cigarettesuga · 1 day ago
Text
꒰꒰⠀⠀⠀opposites don’t attract, they destroy⠀✸⠀(⠀⠀pjm⠀⠀) chpt. O3
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pairing: fuckboy!park jimin x proud & stubborn!reader, slow-burn potential with softboy!namjoon x reader
genre: college!au, smut, angst, slow-burn romance, love triangle, situationship mess, emotional repression, she fell first/he’s falling harder
warnings: explicit sexual content — protected sex (condom mentioned but still be safe irl), brat taming kink, fingering (public-ish space), oral sex (f receiving), use of toys, dom!jimin energy, light degradation, a little rough, slight overstimulation, consensual power play, possessiveness, jealousy, emotionally confusing hookups, mentions of casual sex outside the situationship. also: toxic patterns, emotional whiplash, unresolved tension, and rowan being the obsessed hookup™.
word count: 14.1k
summary: things spiral after an unexpected interruption. (y/n) starts questioning everything with jimin — what it is, what it isn’t. but just when she tries to pull away, he makes it nearly impossible — especially when he knows exactly how to pull her back in. still, a part of her wants more, or at least different, and when sora introduces her to someone who’s everything jimin isn’t… she starts to wonder if maybe she’s been settling for chaos all along.
lu's note: chapter 3 is finally hereeeee after a while!! these two need to get their shit together for real. anyway, this chapter is long bc i wanted to make up for the time i left y’all without an update — i seriously got way too deep into their dynamic and couldn’t stop writing. things are spiraling, there’s angst, there's heat, and a certain dimpled man may just start shifting the game 👀 enjoy!!
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masterlist⠀ | ⠀taglist⠀ | ⠀more to read
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⠀ ⠀ "he feels safe"
the next morning creeps in slowly, grey and uninvited, leaking through the blinds like a secret. (y/n) doesn’t get out of bed. not right away. she just lies there under her covers, eyes on the ceiling like it might offer her an answer she’s too tired to find herself. her phone buzzes somewhere on the nightstand. again.
she doesn’t look at it. she knows who it is.
jimin’s name has lit up her screen half a dozen times since last night—calls she didn’t answer, texts she left unread. she saw the last one pop up around two in the morning:
[park jimin 🐣]: are you okay?
like he had the right to ask.
and maybe he did. maybe she’s being dramatic. maybe it wasn’t what it looked like, some girl from his past showing up in the middle of their moment—but the thing is… there’s no their. there’s no us. there never was. she told herself that from the start.
so why does it sting so fucking much?
she rolls onto her side, tucking her hands under her cheek like it might keep her together. her throat feels tight. her stomach’s been turning since last night. she’d left without saying a word—no yelling, no scene. just grabbed her bag, shoved on her hoodie, and walked out of his apartment barefoot with her shoes in hand. she didn’t even slam the door.
maybe that’s what makes it worse. that she didn’t ask. didn’t demand an explanation. just left. because what would she have been fighting for, anyway?
she’s not his girlfriend. she’s not even someone he talks about out loud.
just a girl he calls over. a distraction. a routine. a body, warm and convenient and quiet.
and the more she thinks about it, the more she realizes—god, she’s been so dumb.
it wasn’t romantic. it wasn’t some twisted, angsty, almost-love situation like she used to write stories about in high school. it was messy and addictive and full of every red flag she chose to ignore.
he flirted with other girls in front of her. he never looked at her like she was his. and she?
she kept acting like she didn’t care. laughing it off. letting it slide. climbing into his bed anyway.
was the sex good? yes. but sex doesn’t mean someone’s gonna hold your hand the next morning. it doesn’t mean they’ll choose you in front of other people. it doesn’t mean they’ll stop answering the door for old flames.
and she’s sick of pretending it does.
the phone buzzes again. she sighs. pulls the covers over her head like she’s sixteen again and wants the world to disappear.
maybe she romanticized it because she was lonely. maybe jimin made it easy. maybe she let herself want something more in all the empty spaces he wouldn’t fill.
and now she’s left with silence. and an ache in her chest she doesn’t know what to call. but she sure as hell isn’t calling him.
the door creaks open like it’s got something to say too, and (y/n) doesn’t even move.
“damn,” sora’s voice cuts through the fog of the room, bright and teasing, like usual. “somebody didn’t sleep well.”
(y/n) stays facedown on her pillow, groaning softly. “can you not.”
sora pauses by the door, toeing her sneakers off, and yeah—she knows. not the details, but enough. she’s been watching this slow-motion crash for a while now. best friends always do.
she sets a coffee down on the desk without asking if it’s wanted. “so. you wanna talk about it?”
there’s a beat. just the hum of the mini fridge and the click of sora’s rings against the plastic lid.
(y/n) doesn’t cry. not because it doesn’t hurt, but because she’s not even sure what she feels. it’s not heartbreak—it never got the chance to be that. it’s not betrayal, not technically. it’s more like… disappointment. in him. in herself. and a creeping kind of embarrassment that makes her want to peel off her skin and start fresh somewhere else.
she shifts slowly, pulling herself up to sit against the headboard, hoodie swallowing her frame. “yeah,” she finally says, voice rough. “yeah, I probably should.”
sora doesn’t push. she just pulls the desk chair around to face her, knees tucked up, eyes soft but steady.
and so (y/n) tells her. everything.
starting with the closet.
“it was two months ago,” she mutters, avoiding eye contact, eyes fixed on the swirling condensation of her coffee cup. “that day I was all pissed at him for messing around in class? I pulled him into the janitor’s room.”
sora blinks. “wait, you initiated?”
“don’t start,” she groans, but the smallest flicker of a smile curls at the edge of her mouth, already crumbling under the weight of her own choices. “I don’t even know what came over me. we were arguing and then I just… grabbed him. it spiraled after that.”
sora listens, quiet but alert, and (y/n) keeps going. the backseat. the texts. the way it became a routine, something unspoken, like a second language only they knew how to speak. how every time she tried to act unaffected, he’d crawl deeper under her skin—his stupid smirk, the way he touched her like she was his, even though he never said it out loud.
“it wasn’t just sex,” she admits softly. “i mean—it was, but it wasn’t. we had these… moments. you know? and I let it mean something. even though we both said it didn’t.”
sora sighs gently, shaking her head like she’s been waiting for this to come out.
“and then last night,” (y/n) swallows, “we were at his place, and it was like, actually good, soft almost. and then someone showed up.”
sora lifts a brow. “someone?”
“an ex-hookup. walked up to the door like she still had keys to his life.”
“ouch.”
“yeah,” she says, voice flat. “I didn’t ask questions. I just left.”
“and he’s been calling you?”
“nonstop.” she picks at her sleeve. “i haven’t answered. i don’t even know what I’d say. like… what do you even say when you realize you were just a filler between someone’s options?”
“you weren’t just that,” sora says firmly, but she doesn’t argue the facts. she knows (y/n) wouldn’t feel this way if jimin had made her feel chosen.and he never did.
“i think,” (y/n) says, quieter now, “i think I let myself believe we were something. and maybe i liked the idea of it more than what it really was.”
and that’s the part that hurts the most. not losing jimin. but losing the story she built around him in her head.
“so what now?” sora asks softly, the question sitting between them like a dare and a lifeline. she’s sipping her coffee, one leg crossed over the other, as if pretending this is just another morning. but they both know it’s not. it never is when it comes to jimin.
(y/n) exhales slowly through her nose, sinking further into the pillows behind her. “nothing,” she answers after a pause, voice even. maybe too even. “there’s nothing to do. he made it clear what this was from the beginning. and if that’s how he wants to keep playing it, then I’ll match his energy.”
she says it like it’s simple. like it doesn’t feel like peeling skin off bone to distance herself, even just a little. but she’s not going to let him have the satisfaction of thinking she’s spiraling. he might’ve gotten under her skin—fine. but she’s not about to let him know he stayed there.
“so you’re not gonna talk to him?” sora asks carefully, reading her like a book with the spine cracked wide open.
“no,” she replies, then amends, “well, not really.”
because she already has. already sent him one text—dry, short, boring as hell. sorry, was tired. fell asleep.a lie, of course. she’d spent half the night staring at the ceiling and the other half convincing herself not to cry about someone who never even promised her anything. but he didn’t need to know that.
she wants him to squirm a little. to overthink the silence. he’s used to girls crawling back. texting first. asking what they are. she won’t be that girl. even if it kills her, she’ll make him believe she’s over it. that she could drop him like a bad habit if she really wanted to.
“i’m not gonna be soft about this anymore,” she says, mostly to herself. “i was letting him in too much. giving him space he didn’t earn.”
sora hums. “you do have a pretty mean side. he’s not ready.”
“he doesn’t get nice girl me anymore,” she smirks without humor. “he gets bitchy, distant, unbothered me. if he wanted closeness, he should’ve acted like I was more than a convenience.”
it’s not a new game. she knows how to play cold. how to side-eye his flirting like it’s beneath her. how to brush past him in hallways like he’s just another warm body. it’s the version of her he fell for, ironically. now he gets it again—just with fewer orgasms and more emotional whiplash.
but beneath it all, there’s this tiny, gnawing truth: she still likes him. maybe more than she wants to admit. maybe more than she should. but she can’t tell him that. can’t give him the power to decide whether or not she’s worth more.
so instead, she tightens the grip on her own pride and puts her armor back on—lipgloss, smugness, silence.
she’ll make him miss her. not just her body, not just the mess they made together—but the way she laughed when she forgot to be guarded. the way she looked at him when she thought he might actually care. he’ll miss that softness once it’s gone.
and she’ll let him.
—----
monday’s breeze is too soft to matter, brushing through the quad like it’s trying not to disturb anyone. the campus is buzzing, students passing by with earbuds in and backpacks slung low, rushing toward lectures or dragging their feet toward midterms.
sora and (y/n) stroll somewhere in the middle of it all, iced coffees in hand, jackets barely zipped. the mood is easy—comfortable, even. sora’s talking about her boyfriend again, something about him nearly burning down his kitchen trying to “infuse” oil like some kind of youtube chef.
“i swear to god,” sora says, laughing, “he’s got the humor of a divorced forty-year-old and the culinary instincts of a frat bro.”
“and yet,” (y/n) teases, sipping her drink, “you’re still letting him reorganize your bookshelves and take you out for pasta.”
“listen, seokjin is hot and employed. those are rare resources in college ecosystems.”
(y/n) chuckles. she doesn’t hate hearing about them, honestly. they’re a weird pair on paper—sora’s chaotic brilliance and jin’s dry dad jokes—but they work. they’re affectionate without being clingy, stable without being boring. (y/n) has only had a handful of conversations with seokjin, but he’s always nice. warm. and most importantly, he shows up for sora without ever being asked.
she wonders, briefly, what that might feel like. to be wanted in the open.
but before she can spiral too deep into that question, a familiar voice slices through the crowd like a blade.
“hey…”
her spine stiffens.
jimin.
he appears out of nowhere, like he materialized out of her bad decisions, hoodie half-zipped, eyes locked on her and only her. he’s not even trying to look casual.
“um—can we talk?”
(y/n) blinks at him, eyebrows raised like he’s just said something in klingon. she glances at sora, then back at jimin, letting the silence drag for effect before deadpanning, “i was literally in the middle of a conversation.”
jimin doesn’t budge. “please. just for a second.”
he looks… off. like her coldness is finally hitting him somewhere he didn’t expect. good.
she steps closer, not in a flirty way—more like she’s examining something unfortunate she stepped on. she lifts her finger and presses it to his forehead, barely touching him.
“are you sick?”
he pulls back, brows furrowing. “what?”
“you’re acting weird.” she tilts her head, voice flat. “why would I want to talk to you?”
jimin looks genuinely confused now, caught between frustration and something softer he’s trying not to show. “because… we usually do.”
“do what?” she asks, tilting her head again, mock-sweet. “hook up? you can just say it, park.”
he flinches—just barely, but she sees it. and it’s satisfying in a low, petty way that she won’t apologize for.
“what do we even have to talk about?” she adds, stepping back beside sora, who’s sipping her drink like this is the best episode of a drama she didn’t know she was starring in. “seriously.”
“(y/n),” jimin starts, but there’s no follow-up. no smooth line. no apology. just her name sitting heavy in the air like maybe that’s supposed to mean something on its own.
but it doesn’t.
not anymore.
she gives him a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes and turns away. “have a good day, park.”
and she walks off with sora without looking back, her pulse ticking at her throat like a warning.
“okay but like,” sora says the moment they’re out of earshot, voice halfway between impressed and genuinely worried, “you didn’t just shut him down. you obliterated him. that was… art. i mean it. textbook.”
(y/n) just sips her coffee, keeping her eyes straight ahead. “he deserved it.”
“oh, totally. i’m just saying…” sora eyes her sideways, tone softening, “you okay?”
“yeah.”
“you sure?”
(y/n) shrugs. “I’m fine.”
sora hums. the kind of hum people make when they know you’re full of shit but they love you too much to call you on it directly. “because I know you,” she adds carefully, “and when you act like you don’t care, it usually means you care so much it’s physically painful.”
(y/n) stops walking just long enough to whip around and blink at her. “wow. did you take a psych elective this semester or something?”
“communication major, babe. i’ve been reading between your lines since freshman year.”
(y/n) rolls her eyes, and they start walking again, slower this time. she opens her mouth, probably to deflect again with some sarcastic retort about being totally unaffected by Park Fucking Jimin when she sees her.
across the hallway. shoulders squared. jaw set like she’s walking into a fight she’s been mentally rehearsing since last night.
rowan.
her heart drops somewhere behind her ribcage.
she looks just like she did standing in jimin’s doorway: annoyed, maybe a little defensive, like she has something to say and it’s only a matter of time before she finds the audience.
(y/n) falters mid-step, instinctively grabbing sora’s arm, leaning in close to whisper, “it’s her. the ex.”
sora’s eyes follow her line of sight, landing squarely on the girl striding past a bulletin board full of club flyers, hair tied up, expression tight.
“oh.” she straightens. “she looks… intense.”
“she showed up at his place last night. in the middle of everything.”
sora’s brows rise. “everything-everything?”
“everything.”
they both glance again. rowan hasn’t noticed them yet—or if she has, she’s pretending not to.
“think she’s gonna say something?”
“no clue,” (y/n) mutters, pulse ticking again. “but if she does, I’m not doing this. I’m not playing that game.”
“i believe you,” sora says, then gently adds, “even though you’re clearly losing your mind.”
(y/n) takes a deep breath through her nose, chin lifting. “not losing it. just momentarily misplacing it.”
but even as she says it, she can feel the crack forming in her façade.
because it’s one thing to pretend you’re over it when he’s the only one around to fool. it’s another thing entirely when the girl from his past is now walking the same halls, brushing past the same walls, maybe still carrying pieces of him that (y/n) thought she was starting to understand.
and it’s suddenly very, very clear: whatever this is between her and jimin— it’s nowhere near finished. but it might be about to unravel.
“ugh, i gotta run,” sora says, glancing at her phone with a sigh, the schedule app glowing with judgment. “ta’s gonna take attendance and i already used my fake sickness last week.”
“you and your tragic academic career,” (y/n) deadpans, pulling her hoodie sleeve over her hand and lightly smacking her arm. “go. be mediocre.”
sora smirks, brushing imaginary lint off her shoulder. “you sure you’re good?”
“i’m golden,” (y/n) lies with a smile.
sora doesn’t press further. just gives her a final look that says be careful, then jogs off into the slow-moving tide of students.
and then it’s just her. standing by herself under the wide-open quad sky. sipping her coffee. pretending she’s not emotionally bruised.
until she’s not alone anymore.
a presence sidles up beside her, calculated and cold like a shadow you don’t want to acknowledge. (y/n) doesn’t turn her head. not at first.
but the voice is unmistakable.
“so you’re the reason he’s been acting different.”
(y/n)’s lips curl before she even looks. slow, practiced, unbothered. she turns toward the voice, gaze gliding down and back up with pointed disinterest. rowan stands there with her arms crossed over her chest, lips pursed, like she’s already decided she’s got the moral high ground.
“you’re gonna have to be more specific,” (y/n) says calmly, eyebrow lifting. “a lot of people act weird around me.”
rowan doesn’t smile. “i’m talking about jimin.”
“oh.” she sips her drink, shrugs. “you could’ve just said that.”
“don’t play dumb with me. i know what’s going on between you two.”
“yeah?” (y/n) tilts her head, giving a once-over like she’s trying to decide whether she’s impressed or bored. “then you probably also know how it ended last night.”
that flickers something in rowan’s expression—tightens it, sharpens it.
“you really think this means something to him?” she snaps, taking a step closer.
(y/n) doesn’t flinch. if anything, she leans in a little, a cruel sort of softness in her voice now. “if it doesn’t, then why’d he ask you to leave?”
rowan opens her mouth, but no sound comes out.
“look,” (y/n) continues, smiling now but it’s all teeth, “i don’t do the whole ‘mark your territory’ thing. if he’s yours, go ahead and claim him. tattoo your name on his forehead. but as long as he keeps calling me at night—well…” she steps past her, brushing her shoulder as she turns, “i’m just gonna keep having fun for a little longer.”
rowan stares after her, stunned into silence.
(y/n) doesn’t stop walking. doesn’t look back. her coffee’s almost empty, her heart’s pounding in her chest, but her face is unreadable.
and god, if she doesn’t love being the one who gets under everyone’s skin— even when she’s bleeding just beneath her own.
she makes it to class five minutes late, breath shallow from speed walking across campus, still slightly warm from her run-in with the ex. her hair’s a little messy, her coffee’s long gone, and her tolerance for bullshit is basically at zero.
and of course—of course—the only open seat is next to him.
park jimin sits there like he owns the row. sprawled out in that casual, cocky way of his, hoodie sleeves pushed up to his forearms, one knee bouncing like he’s got too much energy and nowhere appropriate to put it.
she slides into the chair without a word, slams her bag down harder than necessary, and doesn’t even look at him.
but she feels him smirk the second she’s close.
“you’re late,” he whispers.
“and you’re still talking,” she shoots back.
he chuckles under his breath, leaning just a little closer. “you missed the part where the prof said our midterm is online. you’re welcome.”
“oh, so now you’re doing public service?”
his lips part like he’s about to come back with something smug, but she cuts in before he can:
“by the way,” she whispers, still facing forward, eyes on the projector, “you should really keep your girlfriend in check.”
his body stills beside her. “rowan’s not my girlfriend.”
his voice is too quick, too sharp. too defensive.
she lets it simmer for a beat before letting the smirk curl at her mouth.
“yeah, well,” she says, keeping her voice low and biting, “i don’t think she got the memo. she looked about two seconds away from keying my face.”
he groans quietly, scrubbing a hand down his face. “i didn’t ask her to come over. she just showed up.”
“so did I,” she mutters. “difference is you actually wanted me there.”
that earns her a glance. one of those slow, heavy looks from the corner of his eye that lingers longer than it should.
she doesn’t return it. she can’t. not when she’s still pissed at herself for wanting this at all.
but god, she wants it. even now—especially now.
the professor’s voice drones on, something about behavioral economics and social theory, but she leans in just enough for only him to hear.
“hey…” she whispers like she’s asking something innocent.
he hums in reply, still staring at the screen.
“do you wanna hang out later?” she asks, so casually it could be mistaken for small talk. “you still owe me something.”
his head snaps slightly in her direction, and this time she does meet his eyes. deadpan. unreadable. but her gaze is heated.
he swallows hard, tongue running along the inside of his cheek like he’s trying not to react. trying not to smile.
she hates herself a little in that moment. for wanting him. for wanting to be wanted by him. for feeling it in the pit of her stomach already, the tension pulling tight again like a rubber band ready to snap.
but if she’s going to let herself spiral, she’s at least going to look good doing it.
—----
they don’t even bother heading to their next period.
the air’s still cool and quiet, campus only half-awake, and they’re walking fast without saying anything. (y/n)’s a solid two feet ahead of him, arms crossed, jaw set, sunglasses on even though it’s barely 9 a.m.
jimin follows like he’s tethered to her, fingers twitching at his sides. his hair’s still a little tousled from class, and his hoodie’s too loose on him—but the tension rolling off him is tight. he’s not speaking, because he knows her. knows silence pisses her off more than flirting ever could.
they hit the edge of the parking lot, gravel crunching underfoot, the weight of everything unsaid between them suddenly too much.
the second they reach his car, he snaps.
one hand slams the door shut behind her before she can open it, the other catches her waist, spinning her around and shoving her up against the passenger side with a thud. the sunroof glass rattles with the impact.
his mouth crashes onto hers, bruising and breathless, all tongue and teeth and rage barely hidden under lust.
she gasps against him but doesn’t resist—no, she leans in, arms looping loosely around his neck like she’s bored of the whole thing already.
“i know you’re mad at me,” he breathes into her mouth, eyes flicking between hers. “you don’t have to pretend.”
“i’m not pretending,” she mutters, dragging her nails up the back of his neck, “you’re just not that interesting.”
he laughs. low. dark. the sound of someone who loves getting slapped and kissed in the same breath.
his hands slide up her sides, under her top, palms burning against her ribs. “you want me to fuck the little attitude out of you?” he murmurs, nose brushing hers.
“you think you can?” she shoots back, tone dry as hell, lips barely brushing his. “please.”
that has him grinning—something unhinged and gleaming with teeth. “you are such a brat.”
“and you’re obsessed with it,” she replies coolly, but her body’s already betraying her. she shifts against him, hips brushing his. “you like when I give you a hard time.”
“i like when you shut up.”
“then make me.”
his hand moves down to grip her thigh, hoisting it up against his hip, grinding in just enough to make her inhale sharply. but her face? her face stays unimpressed. lips parted, eyes heavy, a smirk tugging at the corners like she knows she’s got him wrapped around her finger—even now.
he looks wrecked already, forehead pressing against hers.
“get in the car,” he growls. “before I fuck you against the window.”
she slides off him like silk, flicks her sunglasses up to rest on her head, and opens the door without saying another word—her smirk doing all the talking.
the car hums low beneath them, tires rolling steady down the road, early morning sun creeping higher as the rest of the city slowly wakes. but inside jimin’s car? it’s anything but quiet.
the music is low, bass thumping soft under the dashboard. one of those moody R&B playlists he pretends he doesn’t keep just for this kind of thing. the windows are cracked. the air’s warm. and his hand is on her thigh.
(y/n) sits pointedly still in the passenger seat, staring out the window, arms crossed like she’s not burning from the inside out.
but his hand? his hand is deliberate. casual, almost. just resting there at first, fingertips lazily tapping along the bare skin just beneath the hem of her denim shorts. thumb brushing back and forth, light and slow.
he doesn’t look at her. doesn’t have to.
she shifts her weight a little, like she’s trying to create space without making it obvious.
he notices.
of course he does.
his hand slides up. just a little. inching higher with every red light. knuckles skimming higher on her inner thigh like he’s testing her patience—testing her restraint.
she breathes deep. doesn’t move. doesn’t react. not visibly anyway.
that’s when he grins. because she’s playing the game again.
he palms her. flat over her shorts. firm, deliberate pressure where he knows she’s starting to feel it. just enough friction to make her thighs twitch together. and god, the denim is making it worse—coarse and tight and hiding nothing.
“you’re quiet,” he says, glancing at her with that smug, slow-lidded look.
“you’re annoying,” she replies, voice thin, every syllable laced with tension.
his fingers shift, pressing down harder. his palm rolls slightly, a subtle grind right where she’s most reactive.
“mhm,” he hums, “but you’re wet.”
she turns her head slowly, jaw tight, eyes practically daring him to keep going.
“i will bite you, park.”
he laughs—soft and cocky, pulling up at a red light, letting the car idle as he turns slightly in his seat to face her more.
“promise?”
she swallows, blinking down at where his hand still rests between her thighs. then back at him.
cool. unaffected. absolutely lying.
“i’m not giving you the satisfaction.”
“baby, you already did.” he smirks. “like five minutes ago when you clenched your thighs.”
her lips part, but she has no comeback—just a soft little breath of indignation and the flush crawling up her neck.
she doesn’t say anything.
doesn’t spit out some clever one-liner or roll her eyes like usual. instead, she just slowly parts her legs—barely an inch. just enough.
enough to say: fine. try me.
his breath hitches, quiet and shallow.
his hand moves immediately, like muscle memory, sliding just under the edge of her shorts with practiced ease. she’s still facing the window, jaw clenched, brows tight like she’s bored with him—but he can feel the tension humming under her skin. she’s wired tight, her pulse racing just under her thigh, her breath carefully measured, like she’s fighting not to give him the satisfaction of seeing her react.
his fingertips move slow. teasing. tracing up and down the soft skin of her inner thigh, skimming maddeningly close but never quite touching where she wants him. his fingers are warm and sure, featherlight, dragging slow little circles as if they’re not parked in broad daylight in front of a campus dorm.
“still annoying?” he murmurs, voice low, barely audible over the thrum of the engine.
she swallows hard. doesn’t look at him. “you’re a joke.”
he laughs under his breath. “yeah? you gonna keep pretending this doesn’t feel good?”
he dips his fingers higher, the pads of them brushing over the edge of her panties. his grin only grows when he finds the damp spot already soaking through the cotton, evidence of her undoing, even if she won’t give him a single word.
“fuck,” he whispers more to himself than her, tongue darting out to wet his lips, “you’re soaked.”
she exhales, slow and tight, her back pressing deeper into the seat like she’s trying to melt into it. her thighs twitch, hips subtly shifting toward him, betraying her every attempt at aloofness.
he leans in, voice like honey and fire all at once.
“say it,” he whispers, sliding a single finger over the wet fabric. slow. purposeful. “say you missed this.”
she doesn’t. won’t. can’t.
but she tilts her hips again.
and that’s all he needs.
his fingertip slips just beneath the damp fabric, barely grazing her, enough to make her knees tense and a soft breath escape her lips. not a moan, not even a gasp—just air, tight in her throat, caught between pride and want.
he moves again. slower this time. dragging his finger up and down the center of her, collecting slick and spreading it deliberately, like he has all the time in the world.
she grips the edge of her seat, knuckles pale.
he’s grinning like he’s won. like she’s his favorite game and this is the part he never gets tired of.
“tell me to stop,” he murmurs, teasing now, daring her.
she turns, just enough to meet his eyes, her face impassive but her pupils blown wide, cheeks flushed.
“i’ll let you know when i feel something,” she says coolly, voice like smoke.
and that is when he slides a second finger against her—more pressure this time, more confidence, watching her mouth twitch just slightly, just enough to know it’s getting to her.
“yeah?” he murmurs with a grin. “you’ll feel it in two seconds. promise.”
she doesn't flinch when he slides his fingers in.
not outwardly, at least.
her legs stay relaxed, parted just enough. her hands stay in her lap, nails lightly pressing into the fabric of her shorts, knuckles taut—but her face? still unreadable. no fluttering lashes. no bitten lip. no dramatic sigh of surrender. just that same neutral expression as before, eyes fixed somewhere past the windshield like she’s thinking about class or lunch or literally anything but the two fingers knuckle-deep inside her.
but he feels it.
the way she clenches around him, tighter than before, like her body didn’t get the memo her mind’s trying to stick to. the tension in her thighs. the sharp, shaky breath she tries to hide by coughing into her sleeve.
his smile is cruel.
“you’re so full of shit,” he mutters, watching her face carefully, his thumb brushing the edge of her shorts where they’ve ridden up.
her only response is a soft scoff. not quite a laugh. not quite denial.
he curls his fingers just slightly, testing her, grazing that spot inside that always makes her suck in air like she’s drowning on dry land. and there it is—just the tiniest hitch in her breath, the subtle roll of her hips forward, so slight it could’ve been nothing… but he knows it wasn’t.
his voice drops, barely audible beneath the soft click of the turn signal as the car idles on the curb
“you gonna keep pretending?” he whispers, fingers moving slowly inside her, more deliberate now, dragging along every wet, pulsing inch.
still, she doesn’t give him much. just a long, quiet exhale through her nose, lips slightly parted now but her eyes don’t waver. don’t look at him. not yet.
“you’re shaking,” he adds, cocky and amused, pressing in a little deeper, his palm dragging against the curve of her thigh as he moves. “that little attitude’s slipping, baby.”
finally, finally, she turns to him—face flushed now, the tiniest sheen on her brow, but her mouth still curved in that stubborn little smirk he wants to ruin.
“drive,” she says lowly, lashes fluttering once like a warning.
he raises an eyebrow. “drive?”
“yeah,” she murmurs, voice thick and strained, “or i’ll make you fall apart next.”
and he swears under his breath, biting his lip because fuck, he’s obsessed with this girl. even now. especially now.
but he pulls his hand back anyway, slowly, dragging every second out like a punishment. and when his fingers slip out of her, glistening, he watches the way her thighs twitch from the loss.
he doesn’t say a word. just turns the key in the ignition.
and the ride the rest of the way?
silent. tense. electric.
every red light feels like a countdown to something neither of them are ready to admit they need.
the hallway is quiet when they get to her floor, just the faint hum of fluorescent lights and the occasional muffled door slam somewhere behind them. she walks ahead with her keys in hand, eyes fixed on the door to her dorm. doesn’t check if he’s following—she knows he is.
jimin’s just a step behind, hands shoved in his pockets like he’s trying to keep them from doing something reckless. like sliding them under her shorts again. or yanking her flush against him right there in the stairwell.
but he waits.
waits until she unlocks the door, pushes it open, walks in without a word. he steps in after her, kicks the door closed behind him, and the second the latch clicks shut—
she peels off her hoodie.
not in a dramatic, attention-seeking way. not even trying to look sexy.
just—matter-of-fact. like she’s tossing off the weight of the morning. like she’s tired of pretending she’s not already aching from the ride over.
her tank top clings to her, a sliver of skin peeking out above the waistband of her shorts as she tosses the hoodie to the side. she still hasn’t looked at him. hasn’t said a single word since they left the car. but her body speaks for her: shoulders tense, movements sharp, hair falling loose over one shoulder as she reaches down to untie her shoes.
she’s done pretending. and they both know exactly what this is.
jimin’s eyes trail the line of her spine beneath her tank, the slight curve of her waist, the way her shorts barely cling to her hips. he licks his lips and swallows hard, staying by the door for half a second longer than necessary—like he’s bracing for something.
she tosses her shoes toward the corner, stands straight, finally looks over her shoulder at him.
just one look.
blank. unapologetic. devastating.
then she turns back and walks toward the bed, slowly sliding the strap of her tank off her shoulder like it’s just another thing in the way.
and that’s all the invitation he needs.
he’s moving before he knows it, already toeing off his sneakers, pulling his hoodie over his head, eyes locked on her like she’s gravity and he’s just something caught in orbit.
no words. not yet.
just clothes shedding to the floor, tension thick in the air, and the silent understanding between two people who are too far gone to stop.
she doesn’t say a word—just climbs up onto the bed, slow and unfazed, like she’s stretching, not seducing. her knees sink into the mattress first, then her elbows, chest folding down with a soft exhale as she settles near the edge. her hair spills over her shoulder, cascading messily down her back, catching on the soft glow of the lamp on her desk.
her shorts ride up just enough to leave nothing to the imagination.
and then she looks over her shoulder. face half-lit, brow arched in that way.
she doesn’t blink. doesn’t even tilt her head.
just stares at him with that expression like: are you going to do something or just stand there gawking?
jimin’s tongue darts out to wet his lips. his jaw tightens as he exhales through his nose—low, deep, amused. he’s already shirtless, belt undone, standing a few feet away like he’s trying to commit the view to memory.
“you always this bossy when you’re needy?” he mutters, voice low and warm, filled with quiet laughter.
she doesn’t answer. just shifts her hips back slightly, an unsubtle reminder that she’s waiting. that he’s the one wasting time now.
so he steps closer.
his hands come to her waist, one sliding around her hip, fingers splaying across her stomach while the other glides down to the curve of her ass. he squeezes lightly—like he’s testing, admiring, owning.
"you really think that little attitude makes you less obvious?” he murmurs, leaning down until his mouth hovers near the shell of her ear. “you’re dripping through these shorts, baby.”
she rolls her eyes. “you talk too much.”
“and you never shut up until my hand’s over your mouth,” he counters, grinning into her skin, brushing his lips just beneath her ear. “but please, keep pretending I don’t have you exactly where you want to be.”
his hand slides under the waistband of her shorts, slow, almost lazy—like he has all day to take her apart.
and from her silence, her stillness, the faint hitch in her breath?
he knows she’ll let him.
but she’ll never admit it.
and fuck if that isn’t his favorite part.
he presses into her slowly, his chest brushing her back, hips pushing against the swell of her ass still wrapped tight in her shorts. they’re both still half dressed, but the friction feels criminal—the rough fabric of his jeans grinding against her in a way that makes her thighs tense, breath catching somewhere in her throat.
her hands fist in the sheets beneath her, jaw clenched, still pretending this doesn’t do anything to her. still trying to play the unbothered girl even with the weight of him bearing down on her.
but jimin knows better.
he slides one hand around her waist again, fingers dipping just beneath the waistband like he owns the space there. his other hand? the one on her ass—lingering, affectionate at first. his thumb traces a slow, lazy arc on her skin, dipping under the hem of her shorts.
and then—
crack.
his palm lands with a sharp sting against her ass, the sound loud in the otherwise silent room.
she jerks forward instinctively, her breath knocked short by the sudden slap. not hard enough to hurt—just enough to leave heat. a bloom of sensation that burns and tingles, the echo of it painting fire beneath her skin.
“there she is,” he murmurs, his voice smug and low and so satisfied.
she huffs out a breath—almost a laugh, but not quite. her face turns against the mattress, muffling the sound. still refusing to give him the reaction he wants.
but her body gives her away. it always does.
he feels the way she pushes back into him, subtly but certainly. the way her thighs spread just a little wider. the way her hips stay lifted, waiting.
“still annoyed?” he asks, rocking forward again, dragging his clothed length against the seam of her shorts. “or finally admitting you need me?”
she tilts her head just enough to glare at him over her shoulder. her lips are parted, cheeks flushed, a single strand of hair caught in her lashes.
“touch me again,” she says, voice dry, “and don’t waste time talking about it.”
and jimin? fuck, he loves her like this.
headstrong. infuriating. soaked.
he grins, already reaching for the button of her shorts, mouthing along her shoulder as he mutters—
“anything for you, baby girl.”
her shorts hit the floor in a rush of fabric, and still—still—she’s got that expression on her face. like she’s unimpressed. like she’s bored. like she’s not clenching around nothing and biting down on her own tongue to keep from whimpering the second his hand touched her.
and jimin notices. he sees all of it.
the fake eye roll. the smug smirk. the feigned indifference. she’s baiting him—again.
and this time? he’s taking it.
“oh?” he hums, dragging his hand up the back of her thigh again, warm palm skimming the curve of her now-bare ass. “you’re still gonna act like you’re not begging for it? really?”
she shrugs. shrugs. as if he isn’t kneeling behind her, half-hard and starving.
“it’s not that deep, park.”
oh, she wants to be punished.
he lets out a low laugh—one that doesn't quite reach his eyes. “got it,” he says quietly, reaching for the bottom drawer of her nightstand like he knows exactly where everything is now. he finds what he needs in two seconds flat. the bottle of lube. a fresh condom. and just for good measure—her toy, the one she thought he didn’t know about.
her head snaps around. “what are you—”
he cuts her off with a sharp look, one hand already ghosting over the back of her neck, gently but firmly guiding her face back down into the mattress.
“don’t play dumb. you wanna be a brat?” his voice is calm now, cool and measured in a way that makes her pulse jump. “then you’re gonna learn what happens when you act like one.”
and she should say something snarky—she always does—but there’s something different in his tone. something dangerous. delicious.
she stays silent.
“good girl,” he murmurs, almost mockingly, letting the words drip over her like syrup as he trails a line of open-mouthed kisses down her spine. “see? already learning.”
he presses her thighs apart further, kneeling between them. she’s soaked already—of course she is. and now she’s quiet. breath shaky. head turned into the mattress. her hands curled into the sheets.
jimin leans in, whispering just beside her ear, his voice low and cruel and addicting.
“you’re not gonna come until i say so. and if you do? i’m gonna edge you until you’re crying.”
she shivers.
he grins.
and when he finally presses inside her, deep and slow and devastating—one hand gripping her hip, the other wrapping around the back of her neck—she doesn’t say a single word.
but god, she feels everything.
he pushes in deep—inch by inch, like he’s got nowhere to be. like the clock doesn’t exist. like the only thing that matters is dragging out the moment just long enough to make her beg.
and she hates that it’s working.
her body reacts before she can even try to stop it—hips twitching back to meet him, thighs tightening, her hands already white-knuckling the sheets beneath her. but he’s not picking up the pace. at all. if anything, he’s slowing down further, grinding into her with a slow, punishing rhythm that’s more pressure than thrust—just deep enough to leave her breathless, but not enough to tip her over the edge.
“mm,” he hums, voice almost playful, breath hitting the side of her neck as he leans in, so fucking composed. “what happened to that mouth, huh?”
she doesn't answer. she can’t—not with the way he’s moving, rolling his hips in slow circles, deliberately avoiding that perfect angle. not with the way her body is already trembling, so sensitive she could cry if he just moved a little faster.
“not so mouthy now,” he murmurs, smiling against her skin as he trails a kiss down her spine, his fingers pressing into her hips like they’re sculpting her into submission. “what, baby? all that attitude gone the second i touched you?”
still, she says nothing. won’t give him the satisfaction.
but her legs are shaking.
her back arches on instinct.
and when he pulls all the way out and doesn’t move for a full beat—just leaves her there, empty, clenching around nothing—her breath catches like a hiccup and her hips buck without her permission.
that’s when he laughs. low, dark, mean.
“yeah,” he whispers, dragging his fingers along the mess between her thighs. “you’re fuckin’ ruined for me.”
he pushes back in hard this time—not fast, just deep—pressing flush to the base, holding there, stretching her until she whimpers into the mattress.
“you wanna come?” he asks, casual. too casual.
she nods, but it’s barely a twitch. like even moving her head might set her off.
he tsks. “use your words.”
she forces them out through clenched teeth, her voice wrecked and hoarse. “yes. fuck, please.”
but he only pulls out again, slow as ever, and she nearly sobs at the loss.
“not yet,” he murmurs, dragging his lips across her shoulder, breath hot, smirk cruel. “you’re not sorry enough.”
and oh, he’s loving this. the tension. the way she’s twitching underneath him. the way she’s desperate now—no more smartass remarks, no more fake eye rolls. just panting. trembling. waiting.
and jimin?
he’s going to take his time. she wanted to be a brat?
now she gets to be his favorite toy.
her voice is thin, already frayed around the edges, dragged raw from holding everything back. but eventually, it breaks—shattering into the thick air between them like glass under pressure.
“jimin,” she gasps, voice barely audible, cheek pressed against the mattress. “please. please, i—I can’t…”
his grin is slow, predatory. he hums like he’s considering it, even though he always intended to make her beg. always wanted to hear it roll off her tongue like that—wrecked and reluctant.
“can’t what?” he asks, maddeningly calm, hips still moving in that same, slow grind. deep. aching. controlled. “can’t handle it? can’t admit you need me?”
she makes a noise in the back of her throat—something between a whimper and a curse, fingers clawing at the bedsheets like they can save her.
he finally gives her a little more—just a little. his pace picks up barely, enough to make the heat swirl tighter in her belly, enough to give her a flicker of hope.
and then he’s reaching for the bottle on the nightstand without stopping, popping the cap with one hand like he’s done this before—because he has. a hundred times in his head, every time she walked past him on campus, every time she rolled her eyes at something he said like he wasn’t the only one who could get her to come undone.
his other hand slides beneath her stomach, lifting her hips slightly, giving him a better angle as he shifts behind her. she whimpers again—almost instinctively now—and he leans forward to kiss between her shoulders.
“don’t worry,” he says, and there’s actual softness there, threaded beneath the smugness, barely-there but present. “not gonna hurt you.”
then she feels it—the cool slickness of the lube hitting his cock, dripping down where their bodies meet, mixing with the mess already between her thighs. his thrusts don’t stop—still deep, still slow—but the slide becomes smoother, easier, sending a ripple through her that makes her curse into the sheets.
her body jerks forward, her thighs trying to close around him—he stops that instantly, one hand pressing her knees apart.
“no, baby,” he says, low in her ear. “you asked for it. now you take it.”
and she does—biting her lip, panting, begging again under her breath because it’s still not enough, not yet. he’s making sure she’s comfortable, taken care of—and still fucking denying her at the same time.
it’s cruel.
it’s maddening.
and it’s making her obsessed.
he’s got her pinned—head turned to the side, one hand heavy at the back of her neck, not squeezing, just holding. Keeping. she’s got no choice but to look at him, her cheek flattened against the mattress, lashes wet, mouth parted as she gasps around every thrust.
he’s still moving slow, goddamn meticulous, hips rolling deep and deliberate like he's got something to prove. like he wants to fuck the shape of himself into her and take his time doing it.
but she’s trembling now, legs barely holding her up, her voice falling into these broken little sounds that aren’t words anymore. every time he pushes in, she lets out a soft, breathless moan—punctuated by frustration, desperation, need.
“jimin,” she pleads, again and again, tone dipping just enough to soften his name into a whimper. “please—”
he leans over her, mouth hovering next to her ear, his breath hot and smug and fucking infuriating.
“please what, baby? use your words,” he murmurs, a hand slipping between her legs for just a second, two fingers brushing where she needs it most—barely. “you want me to keep going? want me to fuck you like the needy little brat you are?”
she squeezes her eyes shut, too embarrassed, too ruined. but her body answers for her—hips pushing back, thighs twitching.
he lets out a low, rough chuckle.
“you love it when I make you beg, don’t you?” he presses, voice darker now, but still calm—too calm. “look at you. always pretending you don’t want this. but I’ve never seen you so wet. so fucking desperate.”
she chokes on a moan, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, mascara smudging under the strain.
“say it,” he demands, tone sharp now, that cocky edge turning into something that bites. “say you want it.”
and she finally breaks.
“i want it—i want you—fuck, please, jimin—just fuck me already!”
and that’s it.
he snaps.
the hand on her neck tightens just a little—not enough to scare her, just enough to ground her—as his hips pull back and slam into her hard, the sound obscene, skin meeting skin with a wet crack. she yelps, mouth falling open in a gasp that pitches too loud to be controlled.
“oh, now you’re ready?” he snarls, thrusting again, hard and fast this time, his body crashing into hers like a fucking wave. “you wanna be a brat, and then cry when you don’t get what you want? this is what you’ve been begging for?”
she can’t answer. there are no words. only sounds—breathless, frantic, ruined sounds as he fucks her into the mattress, rough and unrelenting, every snap of his hips making the headboard knock into the wall.
he’s not going slow anymore. he’s feral.
and her moans? they turn to cries.
not of pain.
of relief.
he’s panting now, but still relentless. sweat slicking his back, hair stuck to his forehead, his grip on her hips bruising as he drives into her with every ounce of control he has left. she’s shaking under him—crying out, trying to breathe, trying to hold herself together.
and then he slows just slightly, only to lean over her again and reach toward the nightstand, dragging open the drawer like he knows exactly where it is.
she doesn’t even register it at first. not until she hears the soft buzz—low and steady and unmistakable.
her head snaps up weakly, eyes wide as she watches him turn around with her toy in hand, smirking like the devil.
“thought you said this wasn’t a thing,” he murmurs, voice low, mocking, dark. “but you keep all the essentials ready for me, don’t you, baby?”
her lips part, but no words come out. she’s trembling now, thighs twitching from overstimulation, slick everywhere, muscles sore, her brain trying to catch up with her body.
and jimin? he’s enjoying every second.
he reaches out, takes her hand gently but firmly, and places the toy in her palm.
“go ahead,” he says softly, a breath against her ear. “hold it there for me.”
she looks back at him, breathless, still trying to figure out if he’s serious.
he just raises an eyebrow, cock still deep inside her, rolling his hips slow to make her feel it.
“what?” he taunts. “too much for you now, baby girl? thought you liked being a brat.”
her grip tightens around the toy, and slowly, trembling, she brings it between her thighs, pressing it right there—right where she needs it.
her whole body jolts.
“fuck—” she gasps, and immediately bites down on her bottom lip to keep herself from moaning too loud.
he grins.
“good girl. now keep it there.”
he starts moving again, steady and deep, every thrust pressing her harder against the toy, every movement making her legs twitch uncontrollably.
“but you don’t get to cum,” he adds, almost too casually. “not until i say. and if you do? i’ll make sure the next time you come is on my tongue, after hours of begging.”
her fingers tighten around the toy, and she sobs out something wordless. he’s not going easy. every thrust now is measured for torment. the sound of wet skin, the low buzz of the toy, her wrecked little whines—it all fills the room like a symphony of her downfall.
she’s close.
so close.
and he knows it.
“don’t you fucking dare,” he growls behind her, voice sharp, hips pounding. “you better hold it. i’ll know if you cum.”
and the worst part?
he would
her legs are shaking uncontrollably, the toy still buzzing in her hand, every nerve in her body screaming. she’s biting down on a moan so hard her jaw aches, fingers white-knuckling the sheets beneath her, desperate not to fall apart. because if she does—if she lets go without permission—she already knows what’s coming.
but she can’t take it anymore.
“please,” she gasps, voice cracked and wrecked, tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. “jimin—please, i can’t—i’m trying, i swear—”
and he’s still behind her, hips rolling into hers with that cruel, deep rhythm that keeps pressing her harder into the toy. she’s right there. dangling. one more thrust, one more second—
“i need to come—please—please, i can’t—”
and then her body betrays her.
she doesn’t even mean to do it—she’s not trying to disobey. but it hits her all at once, like her body just gives out, like her muscles snap and melt and twist all at once. she cries out, her voice shattering like glass, her thighs locking tight as she—
doesn’t.
not yet.
but jimin does.
with a sharp groan through gritted teeth, his pace stutters—finally losing it—burying himself deep one last time as he spills into the condom, his forehead pressing between her shoulder blades, hand gripping her hip like a vice. his groans are low, guttural, breathless—completely undone.
but it’s her broken sob that brings him back down.
he pulls out slowly, careful, still panting. the toy is slipping from her hand now, barely buzzing, and she’s collapsed onto the mattress, thighs twitching, body begging for release.
“baby,” he murmurs, voice softer now, as he kneels behind her. “i told you… if you came without asking…”
“i didn’t,” she whimpers, voice wrecked and trembling. “i didn’t. please—just—please—”
he pulls the toy from her weak hand, tosses it aside, and doesn’t say anything else. just spreads her thighs gently and leans in.
she gasps when his tongue makes contact.
a long, flat lick from the base of her folds all the way up to her clit, slow and mean, like he’s savoring her. and then he does it again. and again. until she’s crying—literal, choked sobs against the mattress, hips bucking, thighs locking around his head but he doesn’t stop.
he eats her out like he’s starving. like her pleasure is his revenge. his hands slide beneath her thighs to keep her in place, and he buries his face deeper, tongue flicking, sucking, moving in maddening circles.
her fingers claw at the mattress.
“jimin—fuck, please, i’m gonna—i can’t—”
and then he says it, voice muffled against her soaked skin:
“come for me.”
and she does.
like she’s never come before. her whole body arches off the bed, thighs squeezing around his head, a strangled, high-pitched cry ripping from her chest as she finally lets go—everything breaking at once. pleasure crashing through her in endless waves, tears slipping down her cheeks, her vision blurring as she rides it out, trembling violently under his mouth.
and he doesn’t stop.
not until she’s twitching too hard to handle it, not until she’s begging him to stop through hiccupped gasps and aftershocks, her body collapsing into the sheets—completely wrecked.
he finally pulls back, chin glossy, lips pink and swollen, looking up at her with a smug little smile and a rawness in his eyes that almost—almost—looks like something more.
“told you you’d be sorry,” he whispers, kissing the inside of her thigh.
the room is quiet now. heavy and thick with the remnants of everything they just did—sweat cooling on skin, the low hum of the AC in the corner, the rustle of her adjusting the sheets under her stomach like she can somehow make herself disappear into them.
he's sitting at the edge of her bed, trying to catch his breath, head bowed, hands braced on his knees. she hasn't looked at him since he licked her clean. not once. her back is turned, and her face is unreadable.
“you okay?” he asks after a beat. voice rough but low. soft, even.
she nods. too quick. too practiced.
“fine.”
he looks at her, sees how her mouth pulls tight like she’s trying to seal something in. like she’s already rebuilding that damn wall she always hides behind. and the worst part is—it stings. more than it should.
he runs a hand through his hair, frustration starting to bubble. “you’re not, though.”
(y/n) doesn’t answer. instead, she grabs her hoodie from the floor, slipping it on with her back still facing him. casual. distant. like they didn’t just share something that had her sobbing into the mattress.
he exhales sharply. “you always do this.”
“do what?” she mutters, tugging the zipper up.
“this whiplash shit,” he snaps, standing now, pacing a little like he can’t stay still. “one second you're climbing on top of me like you need me, and the next you're acting like i'm just some guy you tolerate because you're bored.”
she opens her mouth to respond but her phone rings—perfect timing. she glances at the screen and sighs, answering it with a tired voice.
“hey.”
it's sora.
“where the hell are you? you didn’t show for lunch, are you okay?”
(y/n)’s eyes flick toward jimin like she forgot he was still standing there. her voice switches to casual, cool, detached.
“yeah, i'm fine. just had a headache. i’m at the dorm. you coming?”
“yeah, i’ll be there in like ten. just checking in, babe.”
they hang up and the silence creeps back in. she turns to jimin, not even trying to sugarcoat it.
“you have to go.”
he blinks. “seriously?”
“sora’s on her way,” she says simply, tugging her hair into a messy bun. “you don’t need to be here anymore.”
and it hits him like a slap—how final she sounds. like he was a transaction, not a person. like he did his job and can clock out now.
he hesitates. there's something in his eyes—not casual, not cocky. just… confused. raw.
“when can I see you again?” he asks, and there’s a weight behind it. a tone that implies he doesn’t mean it like before. that maybe, for once, he’s not just asking to get laid.
but she hears what she wants.
she scoffs, already turned away from him again. “jesus, park. already thinking about round two?”
his jaw tightens, but he doesn’t argue. he just watches her for a second—searching. then nods.
“right.”
and as he reaches the door, she doesn’t stop him. doesn’t look at him. just drops back onto the bed like it’s already erased.
“i don’t know,” she mutters, voice muffled into her pillow. “i’ll text you.”
he leaves without another word.
and the second the door clicks shut behind him—she closes her eyes, jaw clenched tight like if she keeps her face neutral long enough, she won't cry.
(y/n) had barely cracked the window open, letting in the early afternoon air, stale and cold and not nearly strong enough to clear the weight in the room, when the door clicked open.
“a headache, huh?”
sora didn’t even drop her bag, arms crossed over her chest, a perfectly sculpted brow raised as she looked (y/n) over with that older-sister energy only best friends know how to master.
“yup,” (y/n) replied flatly, voice muffled from where she stood near the window like she was considering just jumping out of it and vanishing into a new identity.
sora hummed. “right, right…”
she kicked her sneakers off, took her sweet time walking in like she wasn’t about to drop a bomb, then glanced toward the window again.
“you wanna tell me what was park jimin doing leaving this building looking like he wanted to break every surface between here and the quad?”
(y/n) didn’t even flinch. she shrugged, eyes heavy-lidded and distant as she dropped onto her bed, pulling her hoodie over her head like it might hide the truth.
“i don’t know,” she mumbled. “he’s probably having sex with that blonde girl down the hallway. wouldn’t put it past him.”
sora paused.
then—chuckled.
not sweetly. not kindly. it was that you’re unbelievable but I love you anyway kind of laugh that only best friends can manage without it sounding mean.
“if you’re gonna lie,” sora said, stepping forward with the confidence of someone ready to be annoying, “at least try.”
she pointed, very pointedly, at the bottle of lube still sitting half-tucked behind the lamp on the desk and the unmistakable glint of a silver foil wrapper tossed into the corner of the trash can. the lube was still half uncapped. the wrapper hadn’t even been shoved all the way down. clearly, damage control was not (y/n)’s strong suit.
(y/n) groaned. long and loud.
and flopped face-first into her pillow, arms stretched out like she was about to be taken by the void.
sora waited.
and then, from under the pillow:
“i’m so stupid.”
it was quiet. muffled and slightly wet-sounding like her voice had cracked on the way out.
sora sat at the edge of the bed. didn’t touch her. didn’t crowd her. just breathed out softly.
“no, you’re not.”
silence.
“you’re just—” sora paused, searching for the right word. “emotionally constipated. and dating a walking hormone.”
“we’re not dating.”
“mhm. you’re just accidentally raw dogging and crying over him.”
“we’re not—crying—” (y/n)’s voice cracked again.
sora smiled to herself.
“look, you don’t have to say it. but you’re not fine. and i think you’re finally starting to realize that wanting him doesn’t mean you like how he makes you feel.”
(y/n) didn’t answer. not right away.
she just curled tighter into herself, fingers gripping the corner of her blanket, lips pressed shut like if she let anything else out, she might not be able to hold the rest in.
the silence that filled the room wasn’t uncomfortable. not really. just full. full of the weight (y/n) didn’t want to unpack and the affection sora didn’t quite know how to hand over without making her best friend flinch.
sora stared down at her hands, fiddling with the charm on her bracelet, debating.
and then—softly, almost hesitant:
“actually… i was wondering if you’d be down to meet someone.”
(y/n) didn’t move. didn’t even lift her face from the pillow.
“…what?” came her voice, muffled, dry with sarcasm. “are you playing cupid now? that desperate to get rid of me?”
“obviously,” sora quipped, but the smile in her voice was warm. teasing. “i already have the wedding planned. you’re going to wear that one dress you hate just to spite me.”
“cute. can’t wait to be emotionally destroyed by someone new.”
sora rolled her eyes and leaned back on her hands.
“no, seriously. jin and i… we kind of—well. he has this friend.”
that made (y/n)’s ear twitch against the pillow. not enough to give away her interest, but sora caught it anyway.
“he’s, um… nice,” she said, like it was a confession. “and hot. but not like ‘jimin hot,’ you know? not, like, slutty hot. like… handsome.”
“wow, love that for me,” (y/n) muttered. “maybe i can trauma-dump over coffee and he can write a sad indie song about me.”
sora snorted. “honestly? he probably would. he’s kinda deep and stuff. he reads. like, actual books. not just quotes on tumblr.”
“does he own a tote bag and drink overpriced black coffee too?”
“probably. and he’d remember your birthday without having to check instagram.”
(y/n) finally turned her head, face half-squished by the pillow, one brow raised.
“this is sounding suspiciously like you’re describing your dream man and just trying to pass him off to me.”
“hey, i already have one golden retriever boyfriend. i don’t need two. jin’s enough work as it is.”
that made (y/n) crack a tiny smile. just barely. but it was there. fragile and fleeting and stitched together with exhaustion—but real.
“you don’t have to say yes,” sora added gently, nudging (y/n)’s foot with her own. “i just thought… maybe it wouldn’t hurt. talking to someone who’s not gonna fuck with your head.”
another pause.
then—
“what’s his name?” (y/n) asked, like she didn’t care. like it didn’t matter. like she wasn’t secretly trying to memorize it in case she decided to google him later.
sora smiled.
“namjoon.”
sora pulled her phone from her back pocket, tapping quickly through her gallery like she’d been waiting for the perfect moment to break this out. (y/n) was still lying face-down on the mattress, now with her cheek smooshed against her pillow, eyes barely open and squinting in the sunlight slipping through the blinds.
“okay. you have to see this,” sora said, her voice laced with a mischievous kind of warmth.
“if it’s another video of jin falling off a couch, i’ve already seen it.”
“nope,” she grinned. “better.”
she leaned over, holding the screen out so (y/n) could see. and there he was—namjoon. laughing so hard he was practically doubled over, his face pink and scrunched, clearly tipsy, a half-empty beer in one hand and the other braced against seokjin’s shoulder. the older boy was mid-rant about something ridiculous—something to do with sock conspiracies and IKEA furniture—but namjoon wasn’t even listening anymore. he was just laughing, full and loud and unfiltered. the kind of laugh that made other people want to laugh, too.
(y/n) didn’t smile. not really. but something shifted in her chest.
“he already thinks you’re beautiful, by the way,” sora added, casual but not. like it was a secret she’d been sitting on and couldn’t hold in anymore.
“you showed him my insta?” (y/n) asked, but her voice wasn’t angry. more like tired curiosity.
sora shrugged. “he asked. i said you were out of his league, but that didn’t seem to stop him from wanting to meet you.”
(y/n) rolled onto her back, lips pursing as she stared up at the ceiling again. “doesn’t know me, then.”
“no,” sora said softly. “but he’s willing to. and that counts for something.”
she hesitated.
then: “we could totally arrange a double date that’s not really a double date, if you don’t want to be alone. it doesn’t even have to be dinner. we could just do coffee or a bookstore or something stupid. zero pressure. i promise.”
(y/n) was quiet for a long moment.
she didn’t say it aloud—didn’t even shift her expression much. but in the corner of her mind, something uncurled. a tiny flicker of vindication. of pettiness, even.
it’s fair, she told herself.
if jimin was still out here sleeping with whoever the hell he wanted—acting like what they had was just a routine, nothing serious—then what was stopping her from at least meeting someone who might actually give a shit?
she bit the inside of her cheek.
“he reads actual books?” she asked, almost like it was a joke.
sora smiled, sensing the change, the small fracture in her resistance.
“and he volunteers at the campus library on weekends. he knows the dewey decimal system.”
“wow,” (y/n) said dryly. “that’s hot.”
but there was a quiet sort of consideration in her voice now. something that wasn’t there before.
“fine,” (y/n) said, her voice soft. a little hoarse from everything, from him, from the morning. “i’ll go.”
sora blinked. froze for a second like she wasn’t sure she heard right.
“…wait—you’ll go?”
(y/n) nodded once, still flat on her back. “i mean, it’s not a date, right?”
“not a date,” sora agreed immediately, practically vibrating. “just four very attractive people grabbing coffee while two of them try to emotionally salvage their best friend’s love life—nothing suspicious at all.”
(y/n) let out a huff that almost sounded like a laugh. barely. her eyes didn’t leave the ceiling, but a faint smile curled at the corners of her mouth before she pressed her phone to her chest.
“i have to tell jin,” sora squealed, grabbing her phone like it was a matter of national importance. “we’ve been waiting for this moment. you are not ready for namjoon’s quiet man rizz. he’s like… polite but intense. like he’s always three sentences ahead of the conversation and still listening to every word.”
“okay, calm down,” (y/n) muttered, rolling onto her side, eyes flicking to her own phone again.
still no messages.
not even a double text. not even a shitty meme.
she swallowed hard, thumb tapping aimlessly at her screen. locked it. unlocked it. then locked it again.
figures, she thought. maybe that was the whole point. maybe this was the moment she finally started playing the game the way he did—cool, distant, unreachable.
“coffee’s on wednesday,” sora said from across the room, already texting, cheeks flushed with the thrill of matchmaking. “just after class. no pressure. and i’ll be there the whole time.”
(y/n) nodded again, still curled under her blanket.
her phone buzzed once.
her heart jumped.
it wasn’t him.
and so she sank deeper into the mattress, wrapped in silence and resolve, whispering to herself in the quietest voice:
just coffee.
just coffee.
just a start.
—---
she had managed to avoid him like the plague for the past two days.
not that it was particularly difficult—jimin had apparently found new places to stick his tongue down rowan’s throat all over campus. the student center. the quad. even the hallway leading to the library, where anyone with a pulse could see them pressed against the lockers like a poorly scripted indie film.
(y/n) had simply kept walking. shoulders squared. expression blank. her heart? a mess. pounding. bruised. aching in the worst kind of private way.
today, she had a free period—one he used to know by memory. the one where they’d usually disappear into some forgotten corner of the campus: a storage closet, an empty lecture hall, the back seat of his car.
not today.
today, she locked herself inside the cleanest, quietest bathroom on the top floor of the liberal arts building. she stayed longer than necessary, pretending to check her makeup, her messages, her nonexistent emails. anything to kill the time. anything to not remember.
but the second she stepped outside—there he was.
leaning against the tiled wall like he belonged there. black hoodie half-zipped, head tilted like he wasn’t trying to look casual. hands in his pockets. smirk already cocked like a loaded gun.
her jaw tightened. she didn’t slow down.
“did you get bored of your girlfriend?” she asked, not even glancing at him as she walked past.
his smirk widened. the kind that made her want to slap it off and kiss it in the same breath.
“don’t act jealous now, princess.”
she scoffed. not even dignifying him with a full-body reaction.
“you wish.”
he pushed off the wall, falling into step beside her. their shoulders close but not touching, his steps a half-beat too synced with hers.
“you said you’d text.”
“i lied,” she said simply. her voice light, sarcastic, but the bitterness beneath it hung heavy in the air.
he chuckled. low, smug, infuriating.
“what, you got separation anxiety, park?” she murmured, casting him a quick side glance, venom sweet on her tongue.
“only when you ghost me.”
her laugh was sharp, humorless. “you’re fine. you’ve got a perfectly capable tongue warmer already.”
he didn’t answer that.
not immediately.
just looked at her. really looked. and for a second she could feel it—like the way he used to stare at her when she was on top of him, hair sticking to her temples, lip caught between her teeth, like she was the only girl in the goddamn world.
“what are we even doing?” he asked under his breath.
her chest squeezed tight, but her face didn’t budge.
“nothing,” she said. “we’re doing nothing.”
and she didn’t let herself look back as she walked away.
he was still following her.
his footsteps weren’t loud, but they were steady. like he hadn’t gotten the very clear message that she wanted nothing to do with him. or maybe he had—and just didn’t care.
“hey, um…” his voice came low from behind her, casual, like the conversation from two minutes ago hadn’t been a punch to the gut. “wanna come over? around lunch?”
she didn’t stop walking. not for a second. the answer was already on her lips before he could even finish the question.
“can’t. i’m going on a date.”
that stopped him. completely.
she didn’t have to look back to know it. she felt the hesitation in his pace, the way his silence caught like a sudden storm break—his breath, audible in the way it halted, like she’d just sucked all the air out of his lungs with one clean swing. and god, it made something twist in her gut. vicious satisfaction. a petty kind of pride.
because finally, she’d managed to land a hit.
she kept walking. eyes straight ahead, hands tucked in her pockets, her expression unreadable even as her heart thundered in her chest. she didn’t want to admit how much it cost her to say that. to make it real. to push the words out like they didn’t mean anything when they meant everything.
a date.
not with jimin.
not with someone who used her like a stress relief valve between other girls and then pretended it didn’t matter. no—someone who might actually see her as more than a warm body and a bratty smirk. someone who might mean safety instead of destruction.
he caught up with her again a few seconds later, but his voice was different now. tighter. still trying to sound amused, but his ego had definitely just taken a hit.
“you?” he asked, that little scoff laced into the back of his throat. “a date?”
she didn’t look at him. didn’t blink. just nodded once.
“yup.”
it was almost cruel, how nonchalant she sounded. how she delivered it like the weather—just another fact, another shift in atmosphere.
he laughed then. forced. hollow. more confused than anything else.
“so… who’s the unlucky bastard?”
he meant it as a joke, but she heard the tension underneath. the need to know. the fact that he couldn’t handle the idea of her giving even a fraction of what she gave him to someone else.
and that?
that was enough to fuel her for days.
she glanced at him then. Just a flick of her eyes, like an afterthought.
“none of your goddamn business, park.”
he opened his mouth again, like he had something else to say, but she was already walking faster. already turning the corner. already gone.
and for the first time in weeks, she left him standing there speechless.
—---
she wasn’t expecting much, really.
namjoon was handsome, sure. tall, broad-shouldered, and the kind of naturally put-together that made him look good in a plain t-shirt and worn sneakers. his vibe—at least from what sora told her—was chill, maybe a little philosophical. smart, funny in a dry way, emotionally aware. the complete opposite of what she was used to.
the complete opposite of jimin.
so, she walked toward the coffee shop with her expectations set somewhere below hopeful. this wasn’t a real date anyway. just coffee. just a distraction. a lifeline, maybe, if she let herself think dramatically. which she always did. the air was warm, sun flickering through the trees lining the street. her shoes hit the pavement in slow, reluctant steps.
when she saw the terrace, she spotted them instantly—sora and jin already seated, their heads tilted in laughter, and across from them—
him.
namjoon.
he was leaned slightly forward, elbows resting on the table, listening intently to whatever jin was saying. his fingers wrapped loosely around a coffee cup, and there was this ease to him. like he fit in every room he walked into without trying. the kind of calm that settled into the space instead of rearranging it.
she was halfway through apologizing as she reached the table—something about running late, something about traffic—when he turned to look at her.
and smiled.
not wide. not flashy.
just a dimpled, polite, heart-achingly sweet smile that made her lose the rest of her sentence entirely.
her mouth stayed open for a beat too long. her chest tightened, her fingers curled around the strap of her bag. and for the first time in a long time, she felt something soft unfold in her belly. not lust. not adrenaline. just... warmth.
“hi,” he said, quiet but clear. his voice deep, gentle. smooth like good coffee and rainy sunday mornings.
she blinked.
closed her mouth.
“hi,” she said back, quieter than she meant to.
sora shot her a knowing look, barely hiding her grin. jin covered his chuckle behind a sip of his drink.
(y/n) sat down slowly, the cushion cool beneath her. she tugged at the hem of her sleeves to hide how her palms had started to sweat. get it together, she told herself. this wasn’t anything. not really. but her mind was already whirling, catching on dimples and calm eyes and the way he hadn't even looked at her body—just her face.
she couldn’t remember the last time that happened.
namjoon offered her a soft "glad you could make it," and the way he said it? like he meant it. like it wasn't just something polite people said.
and just like that, something shifted.
she didn’t know if it would last, if it meant anything, if she’d let it mean anything.
but she knew one thing for sure.
this coffee was already different.
it started slow, like most things that turn out to matter.
small comments. shared glances. little pauses where their eyes lingered a second too long, just enough for someone paying attention to notice. sora and jin definitely noticed.
they’d all been talking for a while now, easy chatter over lattes and croissants on the coffee shop’s sun-drenched terrace. sora had her arm hooked casually around jin’s, legs crossed under the table as she tossed in commentary like a pro. jin had taken to teasing (y/n) mercilessly, half about her general attitude and half about things sora clearly told him in confidence—like how she refused to use dating apps because “if the universe wants me in love it’ll drop it in my lap, not on a screen.”
namjoon laughed when jin said that. not a mocking laugh, but a soft one. amused, kind of impressed.
“you really said that?” he asked, tilting his head at her.
(y/n) rolled her eyes, cheeks warm despite herself. “don’t believe everything sora says.”
“but i want to believe it,” namjoon replied, chin resting in his hand, eyes flickering over her face like he was trying to memorize it. “it’s very poetic. delusional, but poetic.”
sora snorted into her drink. jin pretended to fall off his chair. and just like that, the tension drained out of (y/n)’s shoulders. she was smiling before she realized it. something about namjoon just let her relax.
he wasn’t trying to impress her.
he wasn’t trying to seduce her.
he was just there. present. thoughtful. funny in a quiet way that made her want to lean in and ask questions just to hear how he’d answer.
and he did lean in.
more than once.
at first it was to joke about jin and sora, something low and quick and conspiratorial like: “are they always like this? because I’m both amazed and concerned.”
she laughed. loud enough for sora to glance over and raise an eyebrow.
then it happened again. namjoon leaning close, his voice low near her ear, his fingers brushing the table between them like he was trying not to move too much but couldn’t help it. she said something sarcastic and he deadpanned right back, his words clever and dry and so perfectly timed it made her laugh again.
a real laugh. unguarded.
and suddenly, for those small, glittering moments, it felt like the world narrowed down to just the two of them.
jin noticed first. he sipped his drink, quirking a brow at sora across the table.
“oh god,” he mouthed dramatically. “we created a monster.”
sora barely fought back her grin. “they’re cute,” she mouthed back.
(y/n) didn’t notice. neither did namjoon.
he was looking at her like she was the only thing in the room worth focusing on. not in a possessive way. not in a you’re mine kind of way. just—genuine. curious. gentle.
she didn’t remember the last time she felt that seen.
the air was mellow, the sun beginning its lazy descent behind the campus rooftops, casting soft orange light across the quad as the four of them walked. sora and jin hung back, wrapped up in their own bubble of teasing laughter and inside jokes, while (y/n) and namjoon walked a few paces ahead. it felt natural—unforced—the way their strides matched without thinking, their conversation floating easily from music to professors to jin’s obnoxious collection of novelty mugs that sora had apparently been trying to “accidentally break” since they started dating.
she was laughing, genuinely. not the kind of laugh she gave at parties, polite and performative, but the kind that came from somewhere loose and unguarded in her chest. namjoon’s voice was easy to listen to, deep but soft around the edges, the kind of voice that made every observation feel like a secret. he was funny in a subtle way, clever without trying too hard, his smile tugging at the corner of his mouth whenever she threw sarcasm back at him.
it felt... peaceful.
she liked the pace of it. how no one was trying to impress anyone. how she didn’t feel the need to armor herself in sharp edges and cold glances just to keep control.
until her phone buzzed.
she felt it before she looked. that familiar little twist of anticipation and irritation curling low in her stomach. she glanced down.
[jimin.] “so... how’s the date, princess?”
cocky. smug. he probably sent it leaning back in his chair, that stupid grin on his face, fingers loose around his phone like none of this meant anything to him.
her smile faltered just slightly. she didn’t stop walking, but she exhaled through her nose—sharp, annoyed—and locked the screen before namjoon could see what it said.
but he already had.
not the contents, but the name. she saw the flicker of recognition in his eyes. he didn’t react with surprise or judgment—just a calm, thoughtful blink.
“you and jimin, huh?” he asked casually, his tone laced with curiosity but nothing sharp. just genuine interest.
she gave him a dry laugh, pushing her hair back from her face. “it’s nothing but a headache, really.”
and he nodded. no need for more.
“wanna change the subject?”
she looked at him, smiled. “desperately.”
so they did.
they spent the next few minutes talking about a book he’d been meaning to finish and the worst professor she’d ever had. when they finally reached her dorm building, the sky had deepened to gold, and the air had that quiet kind of stillness reserved for the late afternoon—the in-between of day and night.
he slowed to a stop in front of the steps. she did too, her hand hovering near the strap of her bag.
“this was nice,” he said, and meant it. his voice had a different weight now—not heavy, but intentional.
she nodded, already tugging at her lip with her teeth before she could stop herself. “it was.”
there was a beat of silence, not awkward, but tentative. like they were both standing at the edge of something just slightly out of view.
“can I get your number?” he asked then, tone light. “no pressure or anything. just thought it might be cool to hang out again sometime.”
she hesitated—not because she didn’t want to—but because she did. and deep down, she wanted him to be enough to make her forget jimin. to stop wanting things that hurt.
but she didn’t say that.
instead, she smiled, reached for his phone when he offered it, and typed in her number.
“i’d like that,” she said, handing it back.
and she meant it.
even if jimin’s message still lingered in her pocket like a ghost.
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quietly always, cigarettesuga.
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taglist Ꮺ @aaclariww @mar-lo-pap @h6rtf9lt @wynterlove @rpwprpwprpwprw @annyeongbitch7 @namgimini @princesstiti14 @alextgef @pjmxxjmdipity @cherryminnie95
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ilium-ilia · 2 days ago
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happy wip wednesday! enjoy a preview of kiss the skin that crawls (:
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reminder that i am accepting requests for this story in my asks! (as long as it's not anything that largely changes the plot or is ooc!)
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melpthmv · 2 days ago
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Come Back To Me - ANGST
Abby x f!reader
After the events in Jackson, Abby pulls away from everyone —even you— consumed by guilt and pain. But a wound brings her back to your arms… along with everything she tried to bury.
warning: Introspective romance, comfort, hurt/comfort, soft emotional tension. Abby is broken —and you help her rebuild herself, little by little, nurse reader.
author's note: English is not my first lenguage and i´m using a translator, sorry if some parts aren't clear. Writing a little angst, bc i love suffer haha, hope you like it.
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It was late. You were sitting on one of the cots, calmly folding bandages and placing a few pills into a pill organizer. The old light above flickered now and then, casting shaky flashes that made the room’s brightness falter.
You heard the metallic creak of the door opening. Slowly, you turned your head to see who it was — And there she was. Her eyes were distant, one hand gripping her arm like she was trying to hide a wound. She looked misaligned, like she hadn’t slept in days. She looked tired.
Your heart sank at the sight of her. It had been weeks since she last came to you. You had only seen her from a distance, walking through the halls without even glancing your way.
"Do you have time?" she asked softly.
You nodded. You didn’t say anything, just got up from the cot to make space for her.
She walked over in silence, her steps slow, like the weight she carried inside was heavier than the wound on her arm.
"Let me see it" you said gently.
Your eyes met for a moment as you took her hand and carefully moved it away from her arm to look at the wound.
It wasn’t serious. Just a shallow cut. You knew she could’ve treated it herself. But she came to you. And even if you didn’t say it out loud… that made you a little happy.
After a quick look at the wound, you stood up to gather what you needed. A clean bandage, antiseptic, some gauze. Once everything was ready, you sat back down beside her.
As you started cleaning the wound, the silence became heavy. Thick. Abby didn’t complain, but she didn’t look at you either. And you… didn’t know what to say. All you could do was focus on her hands, her breathing, on the invisible distance still hanging between you.
You couldn’t take the silence anymore. It felt heavier than any unspoken words. So you spoke.
"Why have you been so distant?" you asked, trying to sound steady, but a quiet tremble of hurt slipped into your voice.
Abby didn’t answer right away. Her eyes stayed fixed on a spot on the floor, like she was searching for the right words between the cracks in the concrete. Her jaw tensed slightly, and then, in a quiet voice, she said:
"Because I don’t know how to look at you without feeling like I’ll fall apart. Because after what I did… I don’t know if I deserve to be looked at the way you look at me"
She paused. Her fingers pressed into the edge of the cot, and her voice came out shaky, almost inaudible.
"I didn’t want you to hate me. So I pulled away… before you could"
You looked at her, brow slightly furrowed, a tight knot building in your throat. The words hurt before you even said them.
"Abby…" your voice broke, barely a whisper "I could never hate you"
Your grip tightened slightly as you finished treating her wound, as if your hands could somehow say what your heart had been keeping quiet for weeks.
You finished wrapping her arm in silence. You stayed there, beside her, with the bandage still in your fingers and your chest beating too fast.
"Why would you think that?" you asked gently, fingers lacing with hers. Your thumbs traced slow lines on her skin, like you were trying to soothe whatever pain she still carried inside.
Abby lowered her gaze, watching how your fingers moved against hers. She didn’t pull away. She just breathed in deeply, like she was about to release something she’d been holding in too long.
"Because you knew me before all of this" she whispered "When I could still smile without feeling guilty, because with you I didn’t have to prove anything. I could just… be myself, and now it feels like all of that’s gone. Like that version of me doesn’t exist anymore and I didn’t want you to see what’s left"
Her eyes finally met yours. Glassy. Fragile.
"But I miss you. More than I should. More than I let myself admit"
There was a silence then. The kind that doesn’t hurt. The kind that holds you. That breathes between two broken hearts slowly remembering how to beat again.
Your hands were still wrapped around hers, not just offering comfort anymore… but refuge.
"Then come back" you whispered "Not to who you were. Not to before. Just come back to me. I’ll take every piece of you"
Abby didn’t move at first. But then, almost clumsily, she leaned into you. You welcomed her without hesitation, wrapping your arms around her like she could still fit everything she’d lost inside them.
And there, held tightly against your chest, Abby finally let the weight fall. She didn’t scream. She didn’t tremble. She just rested her forehead against your neck… and let the tears slip free. Silent. Warm. Real.
You held her close, as if your arms alone could protect her from the weight of the world. As if that hug could erase every sleepless night, every nightmare she never spoke of, every ounce of guilt she dragged behind her.
"You don’t have to be alone, Abby. Not again.Not with me" you whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.
She stayed silent, clinging to you with both arms wrapped tightly around your waist, like she feared you’d disappear if she let go. She breathed deeply, slowly… like it was the first time in weeks she could finally breathe right.
"Thank you…" she murmured against your neck "For still being here. For not giving up on me"
Your hand moved slowly across her back in gentle strokes.
"I never left" you said, and you felt her body shiver slightly at your words.
Abby lifted her eyes to meet yours. Still glassy. Still tired. But there was something different in her expression now. Not relief… but the start of peace. Like a sliver of light slipping into the dark.
"I thought about coming to you so many times" she said softly "But I didn’t know if I still could"
"You always could " you replied, brushing away a stray tear from her cheek with your thumb.
She closed her eyes for a moment, leaning into your touch. And when she opened them again, there was no hesitation left.
Only you. Only her.
The space between you grew smaller. Intimate.
This time, it was Abby who leaned in. Slowly. Like someone afraid of breaking something delicate. And you didn’t pull away.
Her lips brushed against yours like a question.
A quiet apology.
A quiet need.
And you answered with a desperate tenderness, as if that kiss was the only real thing left in a world that had collapsed around you both.
It wasn’t perfect. It trembled. It ached. It was real.
When you finally parted, Abby rested her forehead against yours, her eyes closed, breathing deeply again.
"I didn’t know how much I needed that" she whispered.
"I did" you said, and smiled for the first time that night.
"I missed you" you whispered, as you both curled up together on the cot.
She didn’t say anything back. She just let herself be held, closing her eyes with a shaky breath, as if she could finally set down everything she’d carried alone.
It didn’t take her long to fall asleep, tucked into your arms. And you stayed there, in silence, just watching her face: tired, worn down, marked by all the pain she never said out loud.
You couldn’t help it. A few tears slipped down your cheeks, quiet and slow.
It hurt. It hurt to see her like this. It hurt knowing she had carried it all alone… when she had you.
But now she was back. And you knew that, little by little, with your love, your patience, your care… she would heal. She just needed time.
And you were going to give it to her.
Because some wounds aren’t stitched with thread— They’re mended with patience, with love.
And you… You were always going to be there for her.
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darlnosis · 1 month ago
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♯    LADs Men Visuals . . .
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pairing ⋮ separate LADs x fem!reader     ⟢
syn ⋮ smut , mdi 18+ , imagine them spreading you wide open and fucking you here and there     ˎˊ˗
cw / tags ⋮ twt porn links obv , fingering , missionary , titplay , spanking , oral , cowgirl , humping , creampie
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Caleb ⟢
- all these years and he couldn't wait, now he finally gets to shove his cock in and out your pussy after a long leave
- what he's sending you in his bathroom because he can't fuck you atm; he's so hard :/
- you asked for it; caleb tying you up and fucking your guts out
- dryhumping your childhood friend's thigh because you're so horny and needy :(
- rutting behind you against the drawers in the other room and hoping gran doesn't hear
- fingering and humiliating you in front of the mirror because his best friend is so prettyyyyy
Sylus ⟢
- straddling sylus as he massages your pretty tits
- how he has you on the couch after a long day
- sylus after beating down on his cock because he misses you so much; pls come back to him </3
- devouring your pussy like he's a starving and dying man; he hopes luke and kieran can hear the both of you through the wall
- he loves rubbing your clit as he fucks you nicely after tearing off your favorite lingerie
- you deserve getting a spanking after being so annoying and naughty to sylus
Xavier ⟢
- slow and soft missionary before bedtime because he missed you so much <3
- making him cum through his boxers because you're both too lazy and tired to take everything off
- getting too excited and having you in so many ways against the walls
- sweet morning sex because he can't get enough of you
- xav got bored and wanted to send something teasing for not giving him a goodbye kiss this morning
- he loves how squishy and soft your ass is while he has you over his lap and his finger digging inside your pussy
Rafayel ⟢
- getting spread out and whining for rafayel to breed you
- acting like an annoying brat and denying that you'll cum for him... he'll prove you wrong
- you were being mean to him earlier so now he has to be even meaner by fucking your back
- rafa loves the noises you make when he suck and teases your nipples with his tongue
- he's imagining that his sucky silicon toy is your ass :(
- guiding you kindly to take his cock in so many ways
Zayne ⟢
- zayne cumming inside his sweetheart after her desperate pleas and begging >_<
- dolled up for him after a short shift for funsies, now he has you over the armrest
- rubbing dr zayne's boner before work so he can be hard and thinking about you for the rest of the day
- breeding you in broad daylight after a long week working at the hospital ^_^
- fucking you with just his thumb after you were being a brat the whole day and sending him teasing photos at work
- car sex under the rain after a romantic date night with zayne <3
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majinbangus · 8 months ago
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You're sprawled on the couch when he comes in the room, eyes zeroing in on you instantly. He doesn't give you the chance to greet him, stalking up to you as if you're his prey. Which, in this moment, you probably are.
It's not hard to tell he's still in that soldier headspace he gets stuck in sometimes. He looks tired. Stressed.
You're about to get up and ask him what he wants, what he needs, once he's looming over you, but the words die out when his hands shoot out and start squeezing your breasts.
You don't stop him, but you do laugh a little, incredulous. "What are you doing?"
"Fluffin' your tits." He's gruff, both in tone and groping. "What's it look like?"
"That's not how- nevermind." You chuckle and fondly roll your eyes. "Why?"
"Cuz they're mine," he says as if that's reason enough, and you suppose it is.
He let's go to get on the couch with you, batting your legs open to settle between them. The man practically flops on top of you with enough force to push an oof out of your lungs, but you can tell he's careful not to crush you entirely. His arms shove underneath your body, squeezing tight as he nuzzles his face against your newly fluffed breasts. You bring a hand up to scratch the back of his scalp the way you know he likes, and he sighs, melting into your body.
"Just like a big baby." Your chest bounces with silent laughter, and he gives a little sleepy warning nip to your clothed breast.
"Stop gigglin'. Tryna nap."
You almost laugh harder. He's not dispproving your point, but if this is what he needs, who are you to deny him?
"Alright, alright, I'll let my soldier rest." You calm yourself, softening your voice. "And I'll be here when you wake, too."
You know you're forgiven when he grunts and presses a kiss to where he bit.
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ghouljams · 20 hours ago
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Ghoap x reader secret baby au but you're Ghost's ex who fucking hates his ass so when you discovered you were pregnant post breakup you though "fuck no I am not doing this with him" and decided to raise the baby yourself.
Except you're not doing it yourself, and Ghost does know about it because you decided his weird Catholic friend would be a good rebound and now Soap won't shut the fuck up about it.
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these-lovely-monsters · 10 months ago
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[NSFW | 18+]
Characters: m!ghost x f!reader
Content: semi-public sex (public but hidden), fingering
Imagine you have a ghost boyfriend who can turn himself invisible at will. Using this ability, he likes to tease you in public where no one can see what he's doing to you as you try your hardest not to react.
While you're at work, sitting at your desk in the open floor plan office space, he likes to hover between your legs with his hand shoved up your skirt. No one can see him as he finger fucks you right next to Sue from the billing department and Mike from sales.
With two fingers plunged into your pussy and his thumb rubbing circles on your clit, you take deep measured breaths and try not to make a sound. As he curls his fingers in just the right way, hitting your gspot with every thrust, you grip the edge of your desk while your legs tremble. At one point Sue looks over at you with concern so you give her a weak smile and a thumbs up.
When he leans in to suck on your neck, you finally explode, closing your eyes and biting down hard on your bottom lip to keep quiet. He continues to pump his fingers in and out until you eventually sag in your seat as the last of the aftershocks fade.
He gives your neck one last lick and you clap a hand over the spot, realizing he most definitely gave you a hickey there. You can feel him grinning stupidly as he drops a kiss on your lips and then he vanishes, leaving you soaking and satisfied at your desk while no one is the wiser.
Tip Jar :)
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syoddeye · 3 months ago
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meet your match
price x f!reader | 10k | AO3
cw: dubcon, explicit sexual content, praise kink, daddy kink (mentioned), breeding kink, john price wife-hunting/wife at first sight, perfectionist/workaholic/lonely reader, stalking, manipulation
John spots the ad as he punches a pin through his card. 
It’s impossible to miss.
Bright red hearts, pink-and-white checkered borders on glossy paper someone paid extra to print. A heart-shaped tack centered perfectly along the top edge. Big looping letters—MEET YOUR MATCH SPEED DATING.
It looks absurd next to his card. A dull rectangle of plain cardstock, his name printed in clean, unembellished letters, ‘John Price - Handyman’, and his number below. No bright colors, no flourishes. Simple like the work. Honest. Keeps his hands occupied between deployments.
The disgust arrives on a delay, a spark traveling along powder. A twist in his gut, a curl of his lip. His eyes rolling hard in his skull. It’s an affront—not just to him, but to the very idea of how things are supposed to go.
He yanks a trolley free, muttering under his breath.
Who in their right mind would waste time like that? Spinning around, talking to strangers, volleying shallow questions, forcing laughter. Acting like most people don’t make up their minds in the first thirty seconds about whether or not they want someone in their bed.
The whole affair reeks.
He shoulder-checks another man in power tools, too distracted by the voices of his sergeants drifting uninvited through his head, summoned by all his grousing.
Stubborn, cantankerous Price. Twice-divorced, stuck in a year-long dry spell because he’s got a habit of scaring off any decent woman who strays into his orbit. The mean old bastard who always moans about the good ol’ days—when men met women face-to-face, not through some app where you swiped left or right like you were picking out a meal deal.
When he could pick them up right off the street, like the first Mrs. Price. Or the supermarket, like her successor.
The memories leave a bittersweet taste. An ache in his groin. It’s been a minute since he took a girl home. Since he tried.
Through the shelves, the poster shines like a fucking beacon.
He breathes sharply through his nose, shakes it off, and shoves deeper into the store.
He never should’ve looked at the bloody thing.
Four fingers’ worth of amber sloshing around in his belly, he swallows the burn of embarrassment with another glass. Lets it dull his better judgment. The tips of his ears red hot as he punches his bank card into the online checkout, grumbling some half-formed excuse to himself. 
The confirmation email arrives in seconds. He ignores it.
He spends the week installing cabinetry, letting the scream of a circular saw drown out his thoughts. Shovels dirt over it when he lays a garden path for a neighbor one afternoon, determined to bury it one stone at a time. Tamping it down along with the dirt, out of sight, out of mind.
But then the reminder lands in his inbox, bright and cheery. Evidence of his lapse in judgment. His mood sours, dragging him into the muck like a boot caught in deep, clinging mud. He knows he ought to ignore it again, chalk it up to a stupid mistake, but—
An itch flares on the back of his ring finger. He scratches it raw, but there’s no relief.
On the night of, he drives white-knuckled to the next town over, pulling into the car park twenty minutes early. He leans against his door, cigar in hand, smoke curling into the cold air as others arrive.
Most of them come in groups, chattering and laughing, familiar. He jumps from one face to the next, cataloging. His finger rests on an invisible trigger, caught between decisions—go in and see what the fuss is about, or make a quick retreat, head home, and catch some pretty face’s stream instead.
Then, a small cluster of girls passes by, giggling behind manicured hands, casting sidelong glances that scream daddy issues. He exhales a ribbon of smoke, watching over the glowing cherry of his cigar.
Whether or not he, by some miracle, finds a match tonight, there’s always the potential for a consolation prize.
As soon as he slaps a name tag onto his chest and scans the crowd, it’s obvious—he’s one of the older men present. Hell, scratch that, he might be the oldest by a fair stretch.
The younger bucks don’t spare him a second glance, too busy puffing out their chests, checking the competition among themselves. The women, though, they’re more forgiving. A few give him passing looks, flickers of intrigue as they clock him standing off to the side, arms crossed, watching.
John knows what he looks like. North of forty, gray threading through his temples, a soft layer of fat settling over the muscle beneath. Dressed sensibly, nothing flashy. Not like the men peacocking around in too-tight shirts, drowning themselves in cologne, preening. He’s here, and that’s about the extent of his effort.
And then the first round begins. He sits across from the first girl, and the second her eyes widen—not in the way he’d like—he knows exactly what kind of night this is going to be.
It proceeds as expected.
The fascination with his years, the curiosity. What’s a man like you doing at something like this? The inevitable prying. Married before? Twice? Oh, well, then. Or worse, the giddy birds, buzzing in their seats with smiles that say, yes, he is the answer to some life-long wound, a stand-in for the attention they never got from their fathers. 
Then there are the unbearably shy ones, pulling teeth just to get a full sentence out before the round is called. Good girls. Decent girls. Girls who stare at him as if he’s about to vault the table and sink his teeth into their throats.
Which is absurd.
He’s a war dog. He prefers a bit of fight. Skin in the game. Make it worth his while, tucker him out.
By the end of it, his card is full, but he’s unimpressed.
His knees and back ache from all the repetitious standing and sitting, moving from seat to seat like some wind-up toy. His jaw is sore from clenching, his temples pulsing from two hours of forced patience. Hands itching for a smoke. It’s nothing like sitting and waiting for a clean shot. That always results in at least a job well done. A mission accomplished. This? A lousy scorecard and a couple of numbers he won’t call from girls who don’t have a clue what they’re looking for?
He’s out of his fucking mind for even bothering.
It’s demeaning.
The organizer flicks on the mic, sending a screech of feedback through the speakers, and he rips the name tag from his chest, teeth grinding. He didn’t listen the first time—only a fucking moron would need the rules explained twice. He’s already angling toward the door, ready to make his exit, when he sees you.
The evening turns on its head.
The last hour wiped clean with a look.
Bright red hearts dangle from your ears. A matching necklace rests at the hollow of your throat. A pink-and-white checkered clipboard sits on your hip, a matching pen twirling absently in your fingers. Chipped crimson varnish on your thumb, like you’ve been peeling it off. Chewing, maybe. 
Glittery boots lend you height. Shoulders squared, posture straight. Doing your best to exude confidence.
Candyfloss sweet, with a pinch of salt.
You prattle on. Platitudes, mostly. How engaged everyone looked in their conversations, a playful quip about how some already seem like goddamn lovebirds. Your voice lilts with charm, a smidge warbly. You must’ve given this speech a hundred times before. Then comes the boasting.
Your agency’s success rate. The numbers, the percentages. How many second and third dates attendees report back. How you’ve helped introduce hundreds of couples. There’s pride in it. Your eyes brighten. But it’s a veneer. Thin as lace.
He sees it. The beads of sweat gathering at your hairline, the faint sheen behind your ear, the subtle tremor in your voice when you get too caught up in your own enthusiasm. A broken-off giggle. The occasional tap of your fingers against the edge of that clipboard, a tic, a tell. You’ve got the confidence, but it’s over-rehearsed. As much of an accessory as the ornament wrapped around your neck.
And he can’t help but wonder.
What would you do if someone called your bluff? If he found you after? Stepped in close, trapped you against one of those god awful stiff-backed chairs, close enough that you felt the weight of him hovering? What would you do if he gave you his honest opinion about your ‘work’, face-to-face?
His mind spins on it for half a second before you say something that derails him completely.
Babies.
It lands like a stone dropped in a pond. Ripples outward in nervous laughter, uncertain shuffling. The younger attendees shift on their feet, casting shy, uncertain glances at each other. You fumble through it, quick and awkward, as if you’ve only realized the present demographics aren’t quite ready for the stork.
He hopes it’s an exaggeration. An offhand comment, a bone tossed out for the older guests in the room.
(Him, because who else fits the bill?)
His blood runs hot at that.
Something stirs in his gut, rising insistent and uncoiling in his chest. A want he thought he’d discounted out years ago, snuffed like a match between his fingers. Delayed by his climb through the ranks and waylaid by fizzling romance.
Children. 
Can one ever really bury an instinct like that deep enough?
His own father soured him on the notion—spiteful, unforgiving, malignant tumor of a man. Impossible standards, an intolerance to match. A rage John inherited, honed, funneled into the one bloody release he found in service. An ugliness that made him swear off continuing the line. 
Still, something funny holds him back. That itch.
He’s canceled every vasectomy he’s ever scheduled in the last decade. Reversible or not, it’s intoxicating to know what he’s capable of.
With you wandering into the crosshairs, it clicks into place. He understands.
He swallows, jaw clenching, and forces himself to look at your face instead of the hollow of your throat, where that ridiculous necklace rests. Forces himself to focus on what you’re saying instead of the shape of your mouth as you say it.
A-ffirmed. He’s out of his fucking mind for coming here.
He tells himself he won’t hunt you down afterward.
No. You’re insulated. Shielded by a flock of hens who swarm the second you return the microphone back to its stand, all clucking approval, dishing out compliments, asking their inane questions about your services. You nod, smile, say your thanks, gracious and warm, and it’s exactly the excuse he needs to leave.
He should leave.
Instead, he declines to give your colleague his scorecard, stuffing the useless sheet into his pocket without so much as a second look-over. He chews the inside of his cheek, locked on you. Takes what he tells himself will be his last look. Prints you on the inside of his eyelids.
Then he sees your hand.
A short stack of business cards, matching the damned poster that started this whole ridiculous mess. He moves before he can think better of it.
Crosses the hall in a handful of long strides. The younger women scatter in his wake, parted by his low, muttered pardon me’s.
And you, you—
Eyes wide, lips parting around a breath, half a sentence, “Here, sir,” before he plucks a card from your fingers.
Then he’s gone.
Straight out the door. Across the car park. Sliding into the driver’s seat, his pulse thundering in his ears, his hand already reaching for the glove compartment. Lighter. Cigarette. Routine to steady himself. Busy his hands so he doesn’t barge right back inside and drag you out behind him. Fire to distract the caveman clawing at his brain.
He doesn’t look at your card right away, not until the first drag burns through his lungs.
It’s just as garish as the poster. Wine-red lettering. Your name. The dating agency you work for. Your number.
And if that isn’t convenient. 
That’s half the battle won.
He should call. Go through the proper channels, hire you for your services like any decent man would. But there’d be no way to lie about what he’s really looking for and what he really wants.
He can’t be too direct, can’t risk scaring you off, but he also can’t leave it up to chance. Experience—and two spousal payments—have taught him better than that.
He won’t make the same mistake a third time.
John does his research.
Your online presence is threadbare, limited to a short bio on the agency website and a sparsely populated profile on a corporate network. Matchmaker, professional hostess. He scrolls, picks apart the scraps. Posts you’ve written and shared, abbreviated comments you embellish with hearts.
Little as he has to study with, it adds up.
You’re all work, no play. Polite, sweet, and a real go-getter, as a former colleague describes you. All butterflies and whiskers on kittens. Sugar-coated professionalism. Your accomplishments and certifications laid out like medals, ambitions clear. Ruthless, in your own way, but the kind with puppy teeth, growing into your bite, he’d bet.
He saw you struggle and the nerves you tried to hide. Maybe others bought it, but he didn’t. If that’s where you are after years on the job, he imagines what you were like in the beginning. Easily rattled, unsteady on your feet.
Still. You’re trying. Look where you are now. Go-getter.
The effort and determination, however clumsy, fascinates. It keeps him searching for a glimpse beneath the polished exterior, but there’s nothing. Not a single mention of friends, family, or, notably, a boyfriend.
It makes his teeth ache.
He needs more.
A hideous, modern building. The very opposite of you—cold, plain, and impersonal. Expensive, not without amenities. His favorite?
The floor-to-ceiling windows.
Blessedly, you are a creature of routine.
Home to work, and work to home. A seamless loop, unbroken save for brief, reasonable deviations. Trips to the shops, a walk through the park near your flat, a community gym. Even then, there’s no idle wandering or wasted time.
Sometimes, when you duck into the market, you emerge with a bouquet of flowers, petals and leaves wrapped in crinkled brown paper, or a bottle of wine, its slender neck peeking out. Small indulgences you buy yourself.
Because there’s no one else to do it for you.
He’s all but confirmed it, watching you ferry yourself between the same points, alone every time. No one welcomes you home. No one goes home to you. Big, lofty place like yours and no one to share it with.
It doesn’t sit right with him, on two fronts.
The first—you pride yourself on your expertise. The training, the certificates, the metrics. It’s all laid out online, your badges of honor, but you’re missing the biggest one, aren’t you? Lacking firsthand knowledge. Quite the albatross hanging around your neck.
The second—it’s self-flagellation, needless and punishing. Pretty, smart thing like you, locking yourself away. A princess banishing herself to a tower. The persistent, cynical part of him wonders if it’s simple snobbery. That you think you’re too good for men like him. 
Yet that’s not quite it either, is it? 
You shut yourself off from everyone.
Twice in one week, from his spot in the mouth of the alley outside your office, he hears you decline invitations for drinks from your colleagues. The same excuse, too much to do, and a pat to the stuffed tote slung over your shoulder.
You work hard, pour yourself into the gig, and when you manage to unwind, it’s always in isolation. A quiet dinner, a solo glass of wine, a book balanced on the arm of your couch. Those big yoga stretches in the morning and at bed time.
The thought solidifies into certainty: You need someone to step in. Someone who sees you.
Luckily for you, John does.
(You never pull those shades down all the way. A fancy place like yours? It’d be a shame to keep them covered, lose the view.)
Satisfied he’s learned all he can from a distance, John decides to meet you properly, on familiar ground. A lonely, overworked girl deserves at least that much. He isn’t cruel.
Buying another ticket to another fucking night of pointless dating doesn’t taste so bad when he has you to look forward to.
This time, it’s in the back room of a restaurant. Smaller, intimate.
Perfect.
John glides through the song and dance. Sign in, take the name tag, acknowledge your coworker, let them believe he’s another hopeful looking for love.
He is, in a way. Different from the last time. He strides with purpose now, heat-seeking. He sidesteps the idle chatter and growing crowd.
Eyes on the prize, and there you are.
As primped and polished as the first night, dressed in soft colors that contrast the tension strung tight in your shoulders pulled up to your ears. Just as on edge, if not more.
That damn clipboard is back on your hip, clutched like a lifeline, and it takes less than a second for his mind to replace it. A warm weight settled against you. Small hands grasping at fabric. A dark-haired child perched, fingers curled in your blouse.
His throat tightens.
You really shouldn’t have mentioned babies.
You move through the space in a current, pulled in every direction at once. Checking in with your coworker, refusing to delegate. Pointing guests toward the toilets, fielding messages on your phone, juggling it all with a thin smile.
It’s admirable.
Nevertheless, hairline cracks form. The light dulls in your eyes, the stress shakes your hands. You’re tired, and not the kind he wants to see on you.
Not the delicious, drowsy fatigue of a body thoroughly spent, melted into the mattress after he’s wrung you dry. Not the half-hearted whimper of a protest as you nuzzle into his chest, mumbling about your ruined makeup staining pillowcases and how it’s his fault. Not the slow, syrupy exhaustion of pleasure that makes you pliant and warm in his arms. The kind of fatigue that leaves you soft, content. His.
Nor the bone-deep weariness of a woman woken in the middle of the night, cradling—
He blinks, biting down on the thought, and suddenly, you’re within reach.
“Oh, hi again,” you chirp, passing a scorecard into his hand. “You came a couple of weeks ago, right?”
That ugly impulse rises within him again, the desire to drag you away outside and make your problems disappear. “I did.”
“Thought so. Well, good luck,” you check his name tag with a smile. “John. Hope you find someone tonight.”
If only you knew.
“One question, if you don’t mind,” he says, barely keeping his face neutral. “Ever find your own match at one of these?”
Your eyes widen with an almost comical look of confusion. “Excuse me?”
John doesn’t lower his head but instead stares right down his nose. “No ring on your finger,” he muses. “Boyfriend too scared to step up?”
“I–I’m not–”
“Don’t tell me,” he chuckles under his breath, “Miss Matchmaker is single?”
John tucks his chin to his chest and watches your pulse jump under your necklace. “Now that,” he murmurs, tilting his head, “is interesting.”
You freeze like you’ve been caught in a lie. Here you are, a professional playing cupid to the lovesick masses, and yet you’re fumbling. Single.
To your credit, you recover quickly, wetting your lips and pasting on a smile. “I don’t see how my personal life is relevant.”
“Oh, but it is,” he insists. “Handin’ out happy endings left and right, and you don’t have your own? How am I s’posed to believe your expertise?”
A line creases your brows. “My job isn’t about me.”
“Isn’t it? You sell love for a living, but you don’t believe in it enough to keep it for yourself?”
“That’s not—I do not sell love…” You stop yourself, sucking in a breath. “I’m focusing on my career.”
“Right. Too busy pairing up strangers to find someone of your own.”
You bristle, shifting your weight, trying to hold your ground.
He likes that. Likes knowing he’s getting to you, pressing into a tender spot. Chipping away at the outer, painted shell.
Before you muster a response, he breaks into a warm laugh to play up the angle. “Only teasin’.” More like testing, sussing out how much give there is until you crack open and spill. “Well,” he pockets his hands, “guess that means you’re up for grabs, huh?” He winks. “Talk to you later, sweetheart.”
He leaves you stuttering, clipboard clutched to your chest.
The night is a blur. He couldn’t name a single woman he spoke to. Unlike last time, his sheet is empty. No scores. If any woman sees it as a loss, he wouldn’t know. Wouldn’t care.
John steps out for air until more bodies trickle out, and then returns inside. He skirts the edges, poking around the tables at the far end where you’re collecting placards, setting the scene.
In his periphery, he sees the moment you realize you’re on a collision course.
“Lose something?”
Fuck, your voice. Your normal voice, not the chirpy affect you slap on for work. Even if there’s a new wariness to it.
“Think I managed to misplace my card.”
Your eyes widen, darting over the tables you cleared. A good and helpful girl, ignoring that little voice in your head.
“Oh no, I’ll help you look. Do you remember what table you ended on?”
He grins. “That’s kind of you, darl.”
He peeks as you check beneath tables, bending and huffing in frustration when you come up empty-handed. The apologetic smile when you finally admit defeat.
“I guess it’s long gone,” you say reluctantly.
John lays it on thick. Shakes his head with exaggerated disappointment, crumpling the sheet hidden in his jacket into a tight ball. “That’s too bad. What a wash.” A wistful sigh. “And you put on such a lovely event, too.”
The conflicted delight on your face is delicious.
“I’m so sorry.” you murmur. “Let me comp you a ticket to another event. I can’t let you go home empty-handed.”
What a turn of phrase.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I insist. You took time out of your schedule–”
“Grab a drink with me instead.” He interrupts smoothly. “Lift my spirits.”
You hesitate, before shaking your head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“A friendly drink?” he teases. “Where’s the harm in that?” 
Not like you have a boyfriend to make jealous.
“It’s just, I ought to get this stuff back.” You nod toward the neat stack of placards, the tote overflowing with the event’s paraphernalia. “Calculate the scores, check compatibility…”
“Can’t your colleague do that for you?” he presses. “Think you deserve a drink for a job well done,” he adds, watching the way you react to the compliment, soaking it in like it’s the first kind word you’ve heard all day. “I saw you working hard all night. Busy girl, eh?”
Indecision shines behind your curled lashes. The gears turn in real-time, weighing the consequences of saying yes.
His nails puncture the paper in his pocket when you flash yet another sorry smile. 
“I’m flattered,” you say, ever so gracious, “but I really can’t. I’ll send that free ticket to your email.”
The dismissal lands like a slap. Indignation sprints across his mind with disbelief snapping at its heels. You don’t give him a chance to tell you where to send that email instead, just the brush-off, slipping away before he can get a word in edgewise. Choler floods the chambers of his heart, draws a bit of blood.
Well, there’s that bit of fight he wanted.
You don’t look back, and he doesn’t blame you. You must feel the weight of his stare between your shoulder blades, on the curve of your ass. You whisper to your coworker, gesturing for their help with you.
His jaw flexes, fingers uncurling from the shredded card in his pocket.
That’s alright.
What kind of man would he be if he didn’t have a backup plan?
The moment unfolds as if coincidence.
John times his approach as you exit the florist, fingers idly stroking the petals of the bouquet in your arms, the same tulips you buy every week. He pictures doing the same to you.
He moves as you step onto the pavement. The collision is gentle, considering, but hard enough that his shoulder clips yours to knock your balance. Enough that you let out a startled gasp, grip faltering, sending the bouquet tumbling from your hands and bag jerking down your arm.
“Shit,” he mutters, crouching before you can. He gathers the flowers, offering them back with a small, sheepish smile. “Didn’t see you there, love. My fault—Wait.” 
He tilts his head, narrows his eyes like he’s only just putting it together. Like he didn’t spend the morning in your shadow to ensure this exact moment. 
Your attention jumps up to him in pure surprise.
“I know you. Miss Matchmaker.”
Recognition washes over your face, and in the span of a breath, confusion gives way to composure. It’s impressive how quickly you smooth it over, tucking away irritation.
“John?”
“You remember me.”
How could she not?
“Of course,” You take the flowers, clutching them tight. Never without a shield. “What a, um, small world.”
John huffs a short laugh, rocking back on his heels. “‘Fraid so.” He lets the silence stretch, drinking you in. You’re too poised to flinch outright, but he’s trained to catch it anyway. Fingers crinkling the paper, chin tipping a fraction higher.
You’re dressed for errands, wrapped in a trench that frustrates more than it should. He knows what’s beneath—having committed the curve of your waist to memory, the shape of your hips. It’s irritating, really.
Still, he likes the look of you like this. Definitely the type to never step outside without making yourself presentable. The type to live by the mantra you never know who you might run into. Collar turned up against the chill, hair styled meticulously away from your face, not hiding that guarded expression. You’re assessing him the same. 
Good.
No catching you on the back foot today, not without a push.
“Draw up any matches since last we met?”
You exhale a short, amused breath. “I’m afraid that’s confidential.”
He grins. “Ah, right. Can’t have the matchmaker giving away her secrets.”
“Yep. Sorry again about your missing card and, um…” You trail off, and John fills in the blank. The rejection. Your insult is forgotten. Water under the bridge, as far as he’s concerned. “I hope you come next time. We’ll get you sorted.”
“Don’t think you’ll see me there again.”
“No?”
“Don’t think speed dating’s for me.”
You nod knowingly, and hike your bag higher onto your shoulder. “It isn’t for everyone. Some people prefer or have better luck meeting the old-fashioned way.” You lift your wrist and check your watch, the impatient thing that you are. Eager to get home to the hour or two of work you needlessly do every Sunday evening. You start to pull away, already checking out. “Well, I better–”
He steps forward, boxing you in toward the wall.
“Like this?”
Your brow knits, mouth pressing into an unsure smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. Polite and strained. You glance at the busy walk, weighing whether it’s worth stepping around or if that would be too rude.
“Like ‘this’? I don’t–”
“Two people, running into each other by chance.”
The corner of your mouth twitches. Smile lapsing, dropping in and out. Curiosity buried beneath skepticism. 
“John…”
He likes how his name sounds on your lips. He wonders how it’d sound under other circumstances.
“Have dinner with me.”
You blink and shrink back, though there’s nowhere to go. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” He doesn’t let your words land. He leans into them. No retreat. Not when the unseen thread fixing the two of you together tugs on the knuckle of his ring finger.
You adjust your grip on the bouquet. “I don’t date clients.”
“Haven’t hired you for anything, have I?” He tilts his head, innocent. 
“A technicality.”
“But not untrue.” He cocks a brow. “One dinner. No strings. If you decide halfway through you’d rather be anywhere else, I won’t stop you.”
Another beat of hesitation. He’s patient. He knows how this works.
Then, finally, you sigh. “Fine. One dinner.”
John smiles. “That’s all I ask.”
For now.
In the days leading to dinner, there’s not enough work to fill his hands.
Certainly not enough to fill his mind.
His thoughts, however, are consumed by you. Maddening how much of his attention you command, how the brief moments shared echo in his mind long after. A constant reverberation, shaping his thoughts, making him imagine another life. Branches reality in two—one without you, unthinkable, and the other? 
A home. A two-storey house with a garden. Kids. Maybe a dog. A do-over. His childhood, but through the looking glass and done right.
A life he’s determined to see the latter into fruition.
There’s very little he’s set his mind to that he hasn’t achieved.
He assembles an outdoor playset for a young family. Decent-sized house and lot. Not unlike the one he sees behind his eyelids. The little ones badger him with questions, tug at his sleeves, chatter away as he carefully fits the wooden frame together and hangs the swings. It’s good practice, what with his plans.
When their mother pops outside to offer water, she compliments his aptitude with children. His patience. Assumes he must have a brood of his own, and he doesn’t correct her. It’s in the works.
Her nails are red, like yours, but perfectly maintained. Despite the slight bags under her eyes, there’s a lightness to her smile that tells him she’s exactly where she wants to be.
And when she steps away to take a call, he imagines you in her stead. Having it all—a home, a family. He’ll give it to you. 
She disappears inside. Her children shriek with laughter, and he wipes the sweat from his brow.
Yes. You, standing in the threshold, tea mug warming your hands. Watching a runt or two running wild, belly low with another. Your nails painted that same cherry tint. Chipped, but perfect.
The restaurant’s host recognizes him, he’s sure of it, but he doesn’t recognize you. How would he?
You’re younger than your predecessors, for one. Smiling, for another. Not on John’s arm as a captive for one of his fruitless, belated apologies. Nor are you clearly hostage to obligation, for a tired anniversary ritual, a repetition of mistakes. No. You’re here as someone new, a departure. John’s future.
He erases the other man’s disapproval with a banknote slipped into his palm. The coward keeps his lips sealed, ushering you to the table you deserve.
Price, party of two.
Maybe this time next year you’ll be celebrating a party of three.
If you’re upset over the server’s harmless assumptions about the two of you celebrating a special occasion, you hide it behind the menu. After ordering, you’re forced to relinquish it. Nothing left to hide behind.
The scrape of your finger over your thumbnail betrays agitation. A nervous habit he’ll break after the engagement. Can’t wear his ring without a flawless set.
He doesn’t want to change you. Not much. Not beyond what warrants influence.
As the conversation unfolds—your preferred wine, the rhythm of your day, the idle pleasantries—he studies. His first unobstructed view. No more staring across a crowded room or through your window from his car. Up close and personal.
You are everything he wants. Intelligent, pretty, industrious, and amenable. A woman made to be adored. 
A wonder you deprive yourself of it.
John’s old hand at extracting information. There’s little difference between threats, praise, and encouragement. The right pressure and tone—all surface some truth. He’s practiced on plenty of folks with everything to lose.
But this? Far more delicate. High stakes.
And for all your sugar-spun sweetness and girlish, heart-strewn wardrobe, you are no easy conquest. You play coy. Meet his questions with half-answers, sidestep when you can, parry when you can’t. You know you’re being led, but not quite where.
Puppy teeth, but the same sensibility—you don’t know when to give up and roll over.
All the more proof you need him around.
It’s cute when you try to go dutch on the bill, flustering all over again when the server informs you John’s already paid. Damn near insulting, isn’t it? To be taken care of. That insistence on covering yourself, as if you can’t afford even the notion of dependency. A lifetime of self-sufficiency turned reflex.
You don’t know what to do when someone else takes the reins, and does a good job.
It shouldn’t surprise you. Not after he’s played the perfect gentleman. Holding the door. Pulling out your chair. Helping you in and out of your coat. Adamant on following through with escorting you home.
You made him meet at the restaurant. A necessary concession at the time, but a bruise nonetheless.
He acts surprised when he parks outside your building. Compliments the structure, neighborhood, all that. He leans against the driver’s side door, hands tucked into his pockets. Casual, as if he hasn’t plotted out how he’d get you inside.
You tiptoe around a goodbye. Promising.
The nerve comes, eventually.
“Were you…?”
He tilts his head, feigning mild curiosity. “Was I what?”
You square your shoulders in that trumped-up confidence. “Coming up?”
He lets the question hang for a beat longer than necessary to let you hear yourself. 
This is a surprise. You pushed back on the date, but here you are asking him up. Lonely, needy creature. You’re probably wet.
Briefly, he reconsiders crowding you into the lift and watching that wide-eyed surprise melt. Years of stratagem hold him in place. The long con is always the smarter play.
“Oh, darl,” he murmurs, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I am flattered.”
He injects enough warmth seep into his voice to make the rejection sting without cutting deep. “I was only teasing earlier,” he adds, a playful glint in his eyes, the perfect balance between charm and rebuke. “Think we ought to get to know each other better before that, don’t you?”
The shift is immediate. Your face falls. A flicker of surprise, a flash of embarrassment that you rush to mask with a nervous laugh, waving your hand as if physically brushing it off. That confidence of yours really is paper-thin. Fragile. So easy to poke and prod. Moldable.
“Ah, of course. I didn’t mean—”
No, but you did, and that’s the beauty of it. You want to mean it. You don’t know how to ask for what you want yet. Another lesson to teach.
“Don’t fret,” he soothes, taking a step closer, fingers finding your chin, featherlight, guiding it back. “How about a kiss goodnight instead, hm?” He taps the divot of your chin. “Tide you over until next time?”
He tastes your perfume first, having caught hints of it all night. Now it’s stronger, heady as you lift your chin. He waits until your eyelids flutter shut before leaning in, smelling burnt sugar before he samples it.
John knows indulgence best through cigars and smoke rolling over his tongue. But you? You cut through what that’s dulled, brighter. Red wine, velvet and ripe, staining the sweetness like crushed cherries. It’s Herculean, the effort to not change his mind and hustle you indoors. His mouth presses more firmly, and for one dizzying moment, he imagines the taste of your skin—licking sugar out of the bowl.
You try to get closer, but he cuts it off.
Your lips are wet, trembling when he pulls back, and you wear shame—white-hot and burning. In disbelief that you asked, aren’t you? What has gotten into you?
“Oh, I got lipstick on your mouth, let me–”
“Leave it.”
He pulls over once on the drive home, rummaging through the glove compartment to wipe the smear of your lipstick from his mouth. The sight of the red stain sends a pulse of heat straight down. You’d lose your head if you saw him now, he thinks, flicking open his belt in the dark. What you do to him. 
He barely gets a good tug in before he ruins that stain, tasting sugar in the back of his throat.
Home in bed, he pulls up the headshot from your agency’s website and dips a hand under his waistband again.
Just something to tide him over.
You wait a standard three days to text. He calls instead.
You sound breathless, which makes sense. Now’s about the time you leave the gym.
“I’m scoping out a potential venue,” you explain, rushed, coming down from whatever routine you finished. He pictures it. Tight leggings, top clinging to sweaty skin, earbuds half-pulled out because you’re walking home alone. “I was thinking you could help?”
“Help? What do you need me for?”
“The atmosphere’s different when I’m alone. I don’t get a good sense if a space is conducive to dates.”
You’re asking him to play along. To be part of your world. Giving him another opening.
He smiles, unseen but satisfied. “Right. What am I getting out of this?”
There’s a short laugh on the other end, meant to cover your nerves. “Dinner,” you offer. “And the opportunity to let me know how you really felt about our services.”
Clever girl. Keeping it professional and leaving yourself an out.
“How could I refuse?”
The restaurant is a hole in the wall. He’d’ve never found it on his own. A perfect setting, but not for what you said. Testing the atmosphere. John knows better.
You’re staring through the menu, picking your thumb.
“Would it help if I set a timer and moved to the next table in five minutes?”
Your head snaps up. “Excuse me?”
“You’re fidgeting, sweetheart.”
You pull your hand away like you’ve been caught, setting it flat on the table.
“Nervous?”
A quiet admission. “Maybe.”
“Don’t date much, do you?”
Your spine straightens. “I told you, I’m focused on my career.”
“Mm.” John hums, leaning back. “Not a judgment, sweetheart. Just an observation. I merely find it interesting. You run speed dating. Introduce people. Help them make connections…”
“I’m good at it,” you murmur, a shield being drawn up.
“Never said you weren’t. Simply curious why someone so good at helping others find their person hasn’t found one of her own. Especially when she’s a catch.”
You don’t answer, not right away. But you don’t look away, either.
Good girl. Let him in.
The silence goes taut. Then, a sigh, and you lift your eyes again. There’s something different in them now. A crack in that carefully maintained composure. Vulnerability.
“I used to date a lot, actually. I had bad luck with men, though.”
John’s thighs flex under the table, hot and hungry pulse running through him. Finally. Finally, some answers. 
“Tell me about them.”
It’s not a question. An invitation. One you’re teetering on the edge of accepting. Curiosity wins out in the end. You bite.
“There were…a few. Nothing serious. Not for lack of trying.” You confess, embarrassed. “I attract the wrong kinds of men.”
Funny. “What kind of wrong?”
“A flake,” you start, bitter. “Canceled more dates than he showed up for. I stopped bothering after a while.”
One.
“A man-child. Wanted a girlfriend who was more like his mother. Expected me to cook, clean, take care of everything while he played video games.”
Two.
“A cheapskate.” A hollow laugh escapes. “Took me out on a ‘fancy’ date and made me pay after he ‘forgot’ his wallet. On my birthday.”
Three.
“And…” Your throat works around the last one. The worst one. “A cheater. Slept with one of my friends. I walked in on them.”
Four.
Your four horsemen of the dating apocalypse.
John’s jaw clenches, though he schools his features. He can’t have you seeing what that information really does to him. Can’t let you know how badly it makes him want to hunt them down and fix it.
On top of it all, you tack on how they made you swear off dating for a year. Which turned into two, then three.
“Three years?”
You bite your lip, insecurity crossing your face. “Is that…bad?”
Three years. Three years of no one waiting on you, no one to spoil you. An empty flat, and, he assumes, a cold bed.
“Not at all. Only been on a few dates in the last year, myself.” ‘Date’ is a strong term for tossing part of his pay at pretty girls on screen for a chat. “Is that what this is, then? A date? Could’ve sworn I was here to help scope out the space.”
“No, I–I did ask you here to help with the venue, John. That’s all. Really.” A lie that twists you into knots, wrings your hands, fiddles with your necklace. It’s short-lived. “I suppose, if you want, it can be a date.” The words come out shy, testing the waters. “But so we’re clear, I’m not looking for anything serious, alright? I don’t know if I’m ready.”
Another lie. A thousand nights alone? You’re ready.
He smirks. “Well. Regardless, y’know how to make a man feel wanted, sweetheart.”
And if that doesn’t make you preen.
The conversation shifts when dinner arrives, treading into gentler waters. John alludes to his job, a morsel, and you, sweet girl that you are, don’t press for more. Content to gnaw on the bones he offers, easy details meant to keep those puppy teeth of yours busy. His parents. Where he’s from. How he wasn’t much of a student. How he worked under the table as a kitchen porter at a golf club until he joined up.
It works better than the wine, softening you bit by bit. The prick who poked at your insecurities earlier? He’s dissolving into someone else entirely. Someone you’re trying to figure out. Someone you might even like.
Your eyes linger longer when he speaks now. Your smile turns natural, less forced. You lean in when he talks, hanging on his words.
John knows exactly what he’s doing, feeding you enough to keep you intrigued, to have you looking at him through softer eyes. Because if you’re trying to piece him together, trying to understand him—you’re already invested. That’s how he’ll get you.
One crumb at a time.
It’s necessary groundwork. Sooner or later, details’ll come out. After all, you’re going to marry him. Certain things will have to be—
“Any, um…notable girlfriends? Since I told you about my four awful exes.”
Innocent. Fair. It still puts him on edge.
A big test for both of you. He told himself he’d lie weeks back. A fabrication to allow him to censor the truth and leave his past behind. See if he couldn’t get out of his payments and wash his hands completely of his ex-wives, call in a couple favors, push papers.
Yet now, now that you’ve bared your heart to him like a good and honest girl, he suppose it’s only right to tell the truth.
That’s not the plan, though.
He’ll phone a few names tomorrow. Get started on the paperwork.
“No one worth mentioning.”
The rest of the evening is easygoing from there. You remain relaxed, the earlier stiffness gone, but you’re still holding back. You let him toy with one of your rings for a few seconds before pulling away. Your feet bump under the table, and you tuck yours beneath your chair. Your eye contact’s better, but you find reasons to look away.
You’re resisting what’s building between you. He can see it clear as day. For one simple reason, John bets.
You don’t believe in love. Don’t trust it, at least.
Not anymore. Maybe you did once, back when it was uncomplicated, hadn’t soured in your mouth, and burned you down into the frazzled woman he’s observed. Before it became studied instead of felt. A series of points and calculated risks, a numbers game that you understand better than most. An expert on what works for everyone else but never quite trusting enough to let it work for you.
It’s why you throw yourself into your work. Why you obsess over climbing a ladder built on the successful couplings of others, measuring fulfillment in repeat dates and engagement announcements. If you can’t have it for yourself, at least you can manufacture it for someone else.
The problem is, he does believe in love.
He’s just never been any good at it.
It’s one of the few things he’s never let go of, even if he’s never known how to hold it properly. He’s always been better at destruction than construction—an arsonist, never an architect. He sets the foundation only to strike the match and burn it to the ground. That’s why his ex-wives only speak of him through intermediaries. That’s why his relationships have been more like wrecking balls than anything resembling stability.
It’s why he throws himself into his work.
It’s why you’re perfect for him, even if you fuss about it and tell yourself otherwise. Insist you want nothing serious to do with men again.
He knows better. Knows that under all that steel and sugar, there’s a heart that wants and aches, no matter how stubbornly you try to deny it.
This time, you surprise him. The dinner is pre-expensed on a company card. The grief that stirs with his ego ends smothered by the victorious look on your face when he pockets his wallet.
It makes you bold.
You suggest a pub a street over for afters, and he lets you lead. Men shrink away on the walk with him beside you, a hand on the small of your back. 
The tables are smaller here, giving your legs nowhere to go when he spreads his underneath and cages them in.
Another round comes. Time slips by. The noise of the pub hums in the background, but his focus never wavers. With every sip, the distance narrows.
Inevitably, the conversation returns to speed dating and its apparent science. You try to stick to your principles. Too bad he has years of experience in bending those. It doesn’t take much more prodding.
“I can’t tell you what your dates said, word for word.”
“Then summarize.”
“You were…” You vacillate, searching. “Largely described as, um, curt, reserved, and distracted.”
Not inaccurate. He’s had worse appraisals and assessments.
He chuckles. “Must’ve had my eye on someone already.”
“Oh?” you say, trying for nonchalance, but it falls flat, hovering awkwardly in the air.
John shifts, stretching his legs out and closing them back into your space like he owns it—owns you. 
God, you are so close. Skirting his reach. 
You’ve reached a critical juncture. Make or break. Two dates, that’s all it takes, isn’t it? Two dates, and life itself stretches out with endless possibilities. Weeks of wanting have led to this. All the work he’s put in to get you here, to this goddamn table, where he can almost taste what could be.
His ring on your finger. His baby on your hip. Your own success story.
No one’s ever gotten anywhere worth going without a push. Without a nudge to take that last step and get over that line they’ve drawn for themselves.
John licks his lip. “Think you know who, sweetheart.”
It will take time, he realizes on the way to yours, to fully tear down the walls you’ve built around yourself. He feels it in the tentative kiss you place on the corner of his mouth at your building’s door, and again in the lift. 
He’s no stranger to controlled demolition. This time, he won’t half-ass it. No more mistakes or half-hearted efforts. Third time’s the charm, and he’s ready to make sure of it.
Whatever backsliding occurs between the pub and your front door, he erases mouth-first. For a split second, he catches that flicker of uncertainty in your eyes, the subtle hesitation that says you’re not sure whether you should give in, but he doesn’t give you the luxury of doubt. You’re here. He’s here. It’s inevitable.
With both of you starved for something—anything—there’s no room for second-guessing. The barren years of your dry spells? Tinder, piled high.
Between fervent kisses, he steals glances at your place, cataloging details. Every corner of your world is his to explore now, but the bedroom is the prize. The view is better here, inside. No longer looking up at some unreachable, untouchable version of you from the outside. He has access now. Control. It’s a quiet triumph that settles in his chest, a thrill he can’t quite suppress. It seeps into his touch, his hands finding the hem of your dress, claiming inch after inch as if he’s laying claim to the territory he’s finally breached.
All it took was a little patience—and a hell of a lot of persistence.
John pushes you until your legs hit the bed, hands dimpling into your hips, half-tucked under your dress. He tugs at the fabric. “Want to take this off f’me, baby?”
“Yeah, okay…”
While your view is obscured by the dress, his eyes roam your bedroom. It’s exactly as he imagined—sophisticated and cozy with shades of rose, peach, and marigold. A collection of framed photos on the bureau he’ll study tomorrow. On your nightstand, a tray with jewelry and lipstick tubes. Dog-eared books—romance, unsurprisingly.
The dress pools at your feet. John takes in the sight of you, his smirk widening. Rubs circles with his thumbs on the skin exposed by the high arches of your deep plum panties.
“You wear this for me?” He abandons the bottoms, touch drifting up to cup your breasts through the matching brassiere. “All dolled up, planning on getting lucky?”
His thumbs roll over your hard nipples, coaxing a gasp from your lips, and your hands fly to his wrists. Not to stop him, but to steady yourself. Your legs tremble, barely holding you up. 
“No, it’s not–I didn’t want to assume–“
“Mm.” He hums, eyes half-lidded. “But you hoped.”
Your weak denial dies on your lips when he guides you down, gently but insistently. He maneuvers you like he owns you already, coaxing you to sit, then easing you back until your spine meets the mattress. His hands work their way down your legs, kneading the goose-pimpled skin of your thighs and calves. Each press of his thumbs is purposeful, a silent reminder of who’s in charge now.
And then he sinks lower.
John shoulders between your legs, prostrating himself on the floor, knees hitting the carpet as if this—you—are worth worship. His head dips, lips grazing along the inside of your thigh.
“Easy, love.” His hands are steady as they hook behind your knee, lifting and folding one of your legs over his broad shoulder. The angle opens you up to him and reveals the damp staining the cotton. He sets your other foot on the edge of the bed. “Let me take care of you.”
Your breath hitches, and that’s when he sees it. The moment you let the reins slip.
“Good girl,” he praises. His grin, hidden between your thighs, stretches with a kiss.
Candyfloss sweet, with a pinch of salt.
He called it like he saw it then. He’s smug that it’s true.
Even filtered through the thin barrier of the gusset sopping up its share, you are a wonder on the palate. A delight on the senses. He noses over the slight springiness of the curls trapped underneath, tongue laving over every dip where the fabric clings. Everywhere but where you want him.
“John, John, please,” You’re gasping on the bed, bright whines spilling out. Hands strangling the duvet. 
“Need somethin’?” He puffs over your drenched panties, rubbing his rough, bearded cheek on your thigh deliberately. “Gotta ask.”
It’s another minute of torture for you to work it out. It comes out in a whisper. “Take them off, please.”
“There’s a girl. Lift up.” 
The panties come away and promptly disappear. In the low light, your cunt’s a mess, shiny with a mix of soaked-in spit and arousal. Perfect like the rest of you.
“Oh,” the single word you manage when John gets his mouth on you unimpeded.
Victory tastes like burnt sugar melting on his tongue, slow and rich, heating into syrup. He groans into your cunt, digging one hand into your thigh to keep it hooked over his shoulder. His other hand wraps around your ankle, anchoring your other foot in place.
You twitch, moans pitching higher and higher, trying to press yourself closer into his mouth. He doesn’t let you. He keeps you right where he wants you—pinned open with every tremor and gasp fueling that molten heat rolling down his spine and thickening his cock.
“Easy, love,” he murmurs, lips brushing skin. His thumb strokes soothing circles over your ankle, a mockery of tenderness compared to the ruthless way he’s devouring you. His tongue works with intent, coaxing you to the edge.
His grip deserts your thigh, and you clench around the finger he slips in while you’re nice and distracted. Lets off your clit with a pop, pulling back to admire your face scrunched in pleasure.
John kisses the crease of your thigh. “This what you’ve been doing all by yourself, baby?” His taunts, dripping with satisfaction as he works you open. “Bet they weren’t enough, were they?”
His smirk deepens when he adds a second, savoring the way your pussy almost sucks them in. When you don’t answer, he stills. “Were they?”
You’re a quick learner. “No, no, they weren’t.”
“Thought so. Gonna give you one more before I fuck you, gonna need it.” 
You take the third with a quiet thread of praise. His cock’s pulsing hard against the zipper of his trousers, aching to switch places with his hand. It’s magnetic. The whole world centers on your weeping cunt, squeezing three of his fingers to death with how badly you want to come. It’s a miracle you still haven’t yet, given how you circle the edge. He’s an inkling of what you need, but he won’t let you backpedal.
You speak in front of rooms of lovelorn strangers. You will speak to your man.
He gingerly pumps his fingers into you as deep as they’ll go, curling and petting in all the right places. Your clit twitches, abandoned. 
“John–” Yes. “–will you–mouth, please.”
“Hm?”
“My clit, please, need your mouth–”
He’ll work on articulation another time. He dips his head and licks a broad stripe over your neglected bud, then molds his mouth to it. Grunts around it when your fingers thread into hair and tug down.
That’s when the floodgates open, and you finally give into everything you’ve held at arm’s length for too long. Toes curling, muscles tensing, a heel digging into one of his vertebrae. Must be a relief.
John rises to his feet as you come down, knees popping in the silence. He licks his lips, wiping them off on the back of his hand. He towers, intentionally overwhelming and blocking out the room as he looms. Casts a shadow he hopes you feel on every inch of your skin.
He works his belt open while you piece yourself back together, though there’s no point in that. It’s a bright spot when you awkwardly reach behind your back and free your tits without being asked. 
A wild look in your eye. Smudged makeup, hair coming unstyled. The loss of composure he’s waited for. Naked hunger in your gaze, eating him up as his clothes hit the floor. You’ve been with boys, sure, but John knows what he looks like. And he looks like a man.
He doesn’t ask about a condom. Gentleman enough he has one in a pocket, but not enough that he’ll do the decent thing and remind you about it.
You squeak in his neck when the steel wool above his cock scrapes your inner thighs. He grinds against you lazily, holding you in the band of his arms to kiss and share your taste. 
“It’s a lot, baby,” John warns, rutting himself through the mess between your legs. He swallows hard when he prods your hole with the tip, squeezing the base to warn himself. It notches, your body yielding despite your squirming. Skittish even now. From there it’s a smooth, slow glide.
Still knocks the breath out of the both of you.
“Oh god, John, f-fuck, it’s so–”
Your cunt’s hot as an oven. Wet and fitted for him. Gives in easily now that the right man’s filling it. Knows he’s it for you, meaning it’s only a matter of time for your head and heart to catch up. 
His chest and belly meld to yours as he keeps you pinned, hips pushing until they’re flush, and he’s sunken to the hilt, grinding in to claim whatever space is left.  “Good girl. Let me in.”
“S’good, big,” you sound delirious, slurring as nonsense tumbles out in a breathless rush. 
He barely lifts his hips those first minutes. Warming you up for what’s coming, what he’s been starving for this whole time. Getting an eyeful of your sweet, dumbfounded expression, coming to terms with it. Figuring it all out while your pussy stretches around his cock and greedily swallows it whole.
John readjusts, peeling his sweaty skin from yours, keeping himself pressed deep into the spot that’s got you strangling his cock. His hands wedge under your knees and push, allowing himself to finally build up to his desired pace. An urgency that speaks to his need to usher in the future and slip a ring on you.
“Feel like a dream,” he pants, staring down at the bounce of your tits through half-shut eyes. The smell of sweat and sex and your cunt under his nose. “You’re so pretty like this, sweetheart. Yeah, look good under me.”
You struggle to breathe around his thrusts.
“Knew the moment I saw you, y’know. Took one look and knew. Knew that not a single girl I’d speak to would measure up to you.” His rhythm never faltering. “But you made me work for it, didn’t you?”
You pant, fingers clawing the pillow above your head. “You–You made me work, too–you didn’t come up–ah, that night.”
John laughs, the sound rough as sandpaper, deep and throaty, and it rattles through you. It drives him to push a little harder, to coax more of those desperate sounds out of you. “And look where we are now, baby.”
Tears slip out of your eyes, painting black streams of mascara on your cheeks. You’re wrecked and he’s barely scratched the surface.
You shouldn’t have ever mentioned babies if this isn’t where you wanted to end up.
Your second orgasm builds similarly to the first. Shaking legs, head sinking into the mattress, spine arching. Stars appear in your pupils, shiny under the glass of tears, and lock onto him, transfixed. A whole mess of big feelings. Uncertainty, confusion, disbelief. Fury, ardor. He can tell, despite everything, a part of you does not want to want this. But gravity doesn’t ask permission before it pulls.
He fishes spit out of his cheek and drops it under a thumb on your clit to bring it home.
“Gonna come on my cock, pretty girl? Squeeze me tight?” 
“John, I’m gonna–I’m gonna–”
“You can do it, too good of a girl not to–Christ.”
Whatever plea you utter gets lost in a feverish rush and a full-throated moan. You go tight as a vise, clamping down on him as you come. Liquid heat rolls down his spine and his pace turns choppy. Fingers slipping from your knee and clit, taking bruising handfuls of your hips he’ll kiss better later. 
He plugs himself deep, coming to a sudden halt to spill. Every muscle in his body goes rigid as he plants himself at the root, filling you in hot, desperate spurts. It goes on longer than he thought it would. You milk it out of him, and it leaves a stringy, sticky mess, tagging over your folds when he reluctantly withdraws.
A whimper sputters from your bitten lips when he lets his drooling tip spew its last over your winking, fucked hole.
The two of you catch your breath in silence.
You said—I don’t know if I’m ready.
He wonders what you’ll say in the morning.
John coaxes a third and final orgasm out of you as he massages his cum back into you, shushing when you cry a little more on his shoulder about it. Whining about it being too much. Same as when he wipes you clean and you go shy on him. Only cracking your legs open again when he reminds you how proud he is of you for taking him so well. For everything.
He waits until you’re deeply asleep, mouth slightly open, completely immovable, to climb out of bed.
He pads through your flat bare like he owns the place. A glass of water to keep him company as he leisurely tours.
Your work bag sits, still packed, next to your desk at the window. He kicks it under. This will be the first weekend you don’t lift a finger if he has his way. 
At least. Not in the service of others.
John stares at the pill case on your bathroom vanity as he empties his bladder. His next hurdle.
He’ll let you keep your job. It makes you happy, and he’s not so cruel to take that from you. But if you ever change your mind, if your investment in it wavers, he won’t stop you. Between his pay and benefits, the handyman business—he’s more than capable of providing for the two of you. And when the time comes for more, when you need to feed, clothe, and house his whelps, he’ll take care of that too.
After all, there’s very little he’s set his mind to that he hasn’t achieved.
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peasack · 3 days ago
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Lowkey wrote this while I was on a road trip with my family and felt like I had to write this. My nephew kept trying to take my phone but luckily he got scolded by my aunt.
Hope you guys enjoy!!!
Thunderbolts x Gn!Teen!Reader
✦ Road Trip Headcanons ✦
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∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗
✦ Alexei Shostakov ✦
Thinks he’s the natural driver.
Immediately calls shotgun driving duty but is actually a terrible driver (way too fast, overconfident, has beef with GPS).
Blasts Russian rock music the entire time.
You’ll have to fight him to connect your phone to the aux.
Eats loud snacks and leaves crumbs everywhere.
“Alexei, stop eating like a raccoon.”
“I am fueling the machine!”
Stops at every weird roadside attraction.
“Come, come! Look, world’s biggest ball of yarn! Very important!”
Annoys you by trying to give long-winded life advice while you’re just trying to nap.
But secretly it’s sweet because he just wants to bond.
✦ Yelena Belova ✦
Definitely takes the aux and plays absolute bangers.
Half chaotic Russian pop, half dark indie playlists. But she’ll let you DJ sometimes.
Brings the best road snacks.
You’re covered in chips, candy, and energy drinks thanks to her snack runs.
Forces everyone to stop for photo ops.
She takes thousands of pictures, mostly to embarrass Alexei and John, but she gets cute ones of you too.
Relentlessly roasts whoever’s driving.
“Wow, John. Amazing. Truly a masterclass in missing the exit.”
Terrifyingly fast but somehow never gets pulled over.
✦ Bucky Barnes ✦
Prefers to drive to avoid motion sickness.
Grumbles about it but he’s actually the safest driver in the group.
Keeps the windows cracked because everyone else’s music is ‘too loud.’
But he secretly bobs his head to your playlist.
Always has gum, water, tissues—he’s weirdly prepared like a tired dad.
Falls asleep immediately when he’s not driving.
You and Yelena take funny photos of him napping with his arms crossed.
Ever since Alexei put the wrong kind of gas in the car he insists on paying for it. Anything to Prevent it from happening again.
✦ John Walker ✦
Takes driving way too seriously.
Hands at 10 and 2, obeys every road sign, will lecture Alexei about seatbelts.
Plays dad rock playlists.
“John, please, no more Bon Jovi.”
“You need culture, kid.”
Pulls over for every bathroom break even if you just stopped 10 minutes ago.
“If you gotta go, you gotta go. Hydration’s important.”
Takes WAY too long at gas stations.
After 2p minutes he'll just comes back with 7 Gatorades, 4 granola bars, and a car air freshener.
He’s weirdly sweet about making sure you’re comfy.
✦ Bob Reynolds ✦
You wouldn't expect it, but he's the most chaotic passenger.
Constantly changes the radio station and loses his phone under the seat every 5 minutes.
Terrible navigator.
“Wait, was that the exit? Oh, my bad.” (He’s done this like 3 times now.)
Keeps talking to you about random stuff out of nowhere.
“Hey, do you think clouds have feelings?”
“Bob, what?”
Brings homemade snacks that are actually delicious.
Loves those deep, late-night road trip convos.
He's not really one to sleep in the car, so he'll just watch the trees pass by as he stares outside.
✦ Ava Starr ✦
Sleeps through half the trip, sunglasses on, headphones in.
Somehow always wakes up just before an exit to give perfect directions.
Doesn’t pack snacks, but steals everyone else’s.
Steals your chips, denies it, then steals more while looking you dead in the eye.
Will just sit in silence with you, watching the trees go by. You simply enjoy each other presence.
Gives you her jacket when the AC’s too cold. Buys you meds if you get carsick.
Will absolutely call shotgun and then fall asleep instantly. “Wake me up when we’re there.”
Hope you guys liked this one, cause I loved writing it.
∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗
Requests are always open! <3
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