#Find the dumbest way to do something and do it well so technically they can't take points off

[thatoneluckybee]

I went to English class after answering asks about MPREG all morning and then accidentally started my argumentative essay for a major grade about mpreg and why I shouldn’t write it.

Luckily I caught the slip-up but I still feel like it’s very important that at least you know this. (And then by process of spreading hopefully Kiri and Chaos and Static will and NONE OF the NORMAL PEOPLE finding my blog from MPREG)

......That. Sure is a mistake to make. Wow. Thank you for saving your teacher's sanity

[tangyangie]

𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗅𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗈𝗇𝗌—! 🖇

𖡼𖤣𖥧𓋼 with. keiji akaashi 𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

LESSON #0 — CONVINCING ꩜

part of him wants to refuse outright. what do you mean you want his help? you want to learn how to kiss other guys? it's bad enough that he likes you, and now you're going to rub it in by giving him a taste of what he can't have. but, when you look up at him with those eyes—those beautiful, pleading eyes—he can't find it in him to say no. this is a common occurrence. you've gotten him to do your laundry on numerous occasions. this is also how you got your dorm pet(s).

"i said, no."

"but, keiji, please? she's so cute, isn't she?"

"we already have one!"

"yeah, but he's lonely!"

"i'm not cleaning after them, though."

you're going to kill him. you're actually going to be his 'cause of death. sure, you might think it's normal; it's only kissing your best friend as practice for another guy. but, to him, it's way more than that. you're like a cigarette—he wants to try you, so bad, but he knows that once he does, he won't ever be able to go back.

"it's not my problem if you like someone. look up a tutorial on youtube if you're so curious," keiji hums, purposely avoiding eye contact—he's just so interested in this show.

"i have! all they say is 'once you get into it, you'll instantly know how to do it'. i mean, it's the dumbest thing i've ever heard. i didn't look up a step-by-step to skip from looking at them to after the kiss."

he simply shrugs. "they're right, you know. it just clicks when you get comfortable."

"well, i'm not going to be comfortable if i don't know what i'm doing, and i'm scared i'm gonna mess up and embarrass myself in front of him!"

"...ask someone else."

"keiji, no, please! you're my best friend, no one else will get it if i ask! they're just gonna think i'm weird!" you plead, kneeling down and hugging his leg as a last resort.

"what are you—"

"please, keiji?" you interrupt, not wanting your plans derailed.

"i..." he sighs, running his fingers through his hair before begrudgingly agreeing. "fine, okay."

with an excited squeal, you stand up and intertwine your fingers with his. "thank you! what's first?"

"wh—now?!"

LESSON #1 — EYES 🦢

he loves your eyes. he thinks that they're absolutely gorgeous. with or without makeup to enhance your eyelashes, each wisp of color within your iris is a pathway that he wishes he could explore, simply by staring into your eyes for hours. he's a complete moth to the flame, because he swears that if he looks too long, he'll fall in.

"hey, keiji—is there something on my face?"

"what makes you think that?"

"...well, you've been staring at me for a good minute. is it paint, or something?l

"...okay, first things first—do not open your eyes unless you're ready to pull away. no one wants to see that right now, for one, and it just makes a kiss seem... not real. like you're not into it," he explains, pausing his show and turning to sit sideways on the couch. he lifts his glasses off from his nose and sets them on the coffee table.

"is that why you take your glasses off?" you ask, tilting your head curiously. "is it to prevent you from looking, or something?"

"um, no. i just don't like the idea of them fogging up," he says, thinking about what else to elaborate on. "closing your eyes is just because it'd be really awkward if you both stared at each other in the eyes."

"okay, i get it, i think. when do i start closing my eyes?"

"whenever you start feeling awkward. or, probably better for you—because you're so inexperienced—is to just mirror him."

"oh, yeah, i'm sooo inexperienced," you scoff, leaning back.

"you asked for my opinion."

"fair enough. what next?"

LESSON #2 — HANDS 𓇼

to him, hands are the most useful part of the body. it controls everything—volleyball, writing, hobbies... even eating, though you can technically do it otherwise. it's just messy that way. one thing he does take pride in, though, is how his look. it's mostly your fault—you compliment them all the time.

"keiji, your hands are so pretty. you've got such nice nails, too."

"um... thank you? i think?"

"what do you mean, you think? you should let me paint them."

"try not to do too much with your hands. it'll just be distracting you or him from the kiss."

he'd almost wanted to intentionally give you bad advice. maybe, that'd keep you to himself. but, unfortunately for him, he's smarter than that. he knows you'd be hurt, and he knows very well that it probably wouldn't work in the first place, and that whoever you'd wanted to kiss would just laugh adoringly at your inexperience. he knows he would.

"where do i put them?"

"honestly, it can be almost anywhere you want."

"in between your toes?"

"...i don't want to know what's going on in your head. try to keep them on the upper body, at least." keiji says, rubbing his forehead with two fingers.

"come a little closer," he motions.

you crawl across a few cushions before plopping down in front of him.

"now, try and find the most comfortable spot for your hands so that you're not deciding in the middle of a kiss."

panic visibly sets within you, and you hover your hands in a multitude of places, when keiji gently holds your wrists as a request for you to stop.

"hey, calm down—here, i'll guide you. shoulders first," he hums, bringing your hands to rest on his shoulders, allowing you to get a feel for it. "next..." cupping his face, resting on his chest, arms around his neck... before you reached having your fingers tangle in his hair.

"oh, this is nice," you say, immediately settling as you gently scratch his scalp with your nails.

"yeah? here?" he asks, trying not to focus on the pleasurable sensation that would lull him to sleep if it were under any other circumstances.

you nod, playing with his curls. "definitely."

he barely notices the soft smile that slips onto his features, simply watching the glint of fascination in your eyes. "now, i'm gonna put my hands here, okay?" he whispers, trailing his hands down to gently grab your waist. "is this okay?"

you nod, still mesmerized by his hair.

"moving on..."

LESSON #3 — LIPS ଳ

you talk way too much, in his opinion. not as much as bokuto, but a lot. to be fair, everyone talks a lot compared to his normal days. even though he may complain in his mind, he knows in his heart he doesn't care at all. he loves watching your lips move, memorizing how each individual letter looks on your lips. sometimes, he'll try to guess what you're listening to based on how well he can read your mouthing now.

"...are you listening to beabadoobee?"

"you listen to bea??"

"yoshimi, forest, magdalene?"

"wh—how'd you know? are you psychic?"

now comes the part he's almost dreading most—not that he could ever want to avoid your lips. he's just nervous. he takes a deep breath, starting his explanation.

"when you're kissing someone, don't tense up. you need to completely relax. no one wants to kiss a rock."

"weird metaphor, but i get it."

"you slightly part your lips. just a little bit."

"how much is a little bit?"

"guess."

you slightly drop your bottom lip, and it's almost perfect. keiji lifts his hand to your chin, just barely pushing your jaw up with his finger.

"do you want chapstick?" you ask.

"are you trying to tell me that my lips look dry?" he raises an eyebrow.

"no! your lips look nice. i'm just saying, i've heard it helps." you defend, getting the chapstick out and applying a quick layer.

"sure," he sighs, leaning a little closer and allowing you to drag the chapstick on his lips for what seems like forever (it was two seconds. he was just focused on you instead).

"ready to focus?" he asks, watching you apply yet another layer. it felt like you were teasing him.

"yep," you smile, re-parting your lips. "like this, right?"

he nods, beginning his next explanation. "don't do that when you kiss people. if you start talking in the middle of a kiss, make it relate to the experience, at least. if you start talking about the weather, you're getting kicked out."

you offer a sheepish grin. be continues.

"anyway, when most people kiss, they tend to lean their heads to the right, but it really depends on the person. i go right, which means you should also go right. with me, at least."

"how do you know that? just how many people have you kissed?" you tease.

he purses his lips. "two."

"was one boku—"

"doesn't matter."

you stifle your giggle, waiting for keiji's next words.

"kissing isn't as difficult as you think. it really does just come to you."

"oh, plea—"

"i'm not done. i'll do my best to help you, but when you kiss someone, you're not really paying attention to that. it just kind of happens."

you nod and stay quiet as he thinks for a moment. "i tend to put whoever's bottom lip i'm kissing in between mine."

"should i try and do the same thing?"

"no. n—not with me, at least."

"m'kay."

"and after a few kisses like that, you just keep going until it gets more intense."

"speaking of which..."

LESSON #4 — TONGUE 🌊

he doesn't have much to say about this. you use it lots? ice cream, popsicles, cleaning off butter knives—he could go on. you made him try the cherry-stem test once, though. he passed, obviously—that was definitely the main reason you asked for his help specifically.

"i don't get it. what's the point?"

"apparently, if you can tie a knot, you're a good kisser."

"hm. let's see if it checks out."

"what're you expecting? you look like the only thing you've kissed is your pillow."

"do i really have to explain this?" keiji sighs, burying his head in his hands for a moment.

"yes, come on! i need this one the most. what do i do with my tongue?"

"it's going to be so weird to talk about. and it's gonna sound so odd. i'm warning you."

"i understand the risks and i read all the terms and conditions. give me the goods. services? i dunno."

"definitely do not start off with it. if you shove your tongue into his mouth, he's gonna shove you away from him."

"understood."

"honestly, don't do anything about it. let him slip it in and take control of it. you lightly suck on it, i guess."

"ew, you're right. i don't wanna hear about this."

"i told you," he responds, leaning back and resting his head above the armrest, his hands acting as a pillow under him.

"do you really shove your tongue down their throat?"

"god, no."

LESSON #5 — PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER 𓆝

he knew it was coming. he knows you too well to think it'd be as easy as telling you what to do. unfortunately, he plays an incredibly well-developed game of denial. again—you've done this on multiple occasions. half of your essays are written by him. half of the recipes you've learned? him.

"thanks for teaching me how to make this! it's really good. i should get more recipes from you."

"i'm starting to doubt you actually listened."

"of course, i did!"

"then why did i end up making the whole thing?"

"i cut up the vegetables."

"after complaining that the onions were making you cry, so you couldn't cut the others."

"okay, then... i think that's it, right?" you hum, leaning forward and climbing onto his lap. "that's all the information itself?"

your action causes a sharp intake of breath from him, who does his best to hide it. he props himself up onto his elbows to get a better look at you. you look really, really pretty from this angle.

"i—what are you doing?" he stammers, his cheeks turning a pinkish color. in his mind, he blames it on the tv's screensaver. it's on green right now; so, what?

"is this not how people kiss?" you ask, tilting your head to the side.

"it is, but..." he averts his eyes.

"keiji," you whine, leaning down closer until you're laying on top of him. "i need the practice."

the way you say his name nearly makes him choke, but he covers it up. he's really going to try not to mess it up for you, even though it may benefit his (one-sided) rival.

"okay, fine," keiji sighs, sitting up again. he doesn't dare say anything more lest he seem too eager.

your eyes flit to his lips, barely breaking your shared gaze for less than a second. for this moment, you take in his current aesthetic. flushed, messy-haired, (how you wish he hadn't taken his glasses off so that they could be slightly askew), heavily breathing, shirt ridden up just enough for you to see his stomach... you could find so many little things like this to name.

and, finally, taking in what you've learned, you lean in just a little closer. tilting your head to the right, slightly parting your lips, and itching to tell him just how pretty he is. but, he said no unnecessary talking.

he mirrors your actions, feeling his heart beat so fast that he's genuinely scared he may have a heart attack.

when your lips touch, it's not like the movies. you don't picture a firework exploding in between you, and there's no dramatic music.

there is, however, the most polite man you've ever met on the other side. he's so gentle, kissing you slowly so that you don't get overwhelmed. you didn't even notice how his hands had gotten to cup your face, but everything about the interaction is soft.

it's almost like he thinks you're delicate.

you're both a mess of heavy breathing, your lips sloppily moving against his. and he was right—he does think that your inexperience is cute.

his lips move over yours, the soft texture you'd expect from no man but keiji as ever so gently nips your bottom lip.

your hands crawl up his nape to settle on the roots of his hair, tangling your fingers in the familiar curls as refuge from the unfamiliar feeling of the kiss. he lets a quiet sigh into your mouth, the vibration of the sound waves against your lips causing you to nearly melt.

noticing his hands move from your face to your neck, you take the moment to be just a little cheeky.

"i thought you said not to move your hands much, keiji," you teasingly whisper in between breaths.

he simply scoffs against your mouth. "actually, i said no talking," he murmurs, becoming less and less conscious of what he's doing.

the more your fingers massage his head, the more he wishes you were his. he hasn't kissed anyone like this before—it's simultaneously nothing special yet the most amazing thing he's ever experienced.

his hands slide down your body to rest at your waist, feeling your breath hitch the slightest bit. mumbling an apology he doesn't really mean, he leans forward a bit more to tilt your head back. only then, does it dawn on him.

LESSON #6 — ESCALATION 🦈ྀི

he didn't think it'd get this far. he really didn't. he should've known better than to assume he had the self control for this. looking back on it now, he really did care for you too much. the time he spent with you felt romantic—like an old married couple that always argues yet never harbors the negative emotions. but, alas, you weren't his to care for... or, so it seemed.

"you really should be more careful. you're going to get seriously injured if you keep this up."

"no, i won't, 'kaashi; you don't know anything."

"do you know how many band-aids i've gone through in the past ten minutes?"

"...shut it."

"we should stop," he whispers, barely audible. he doesn't pull away, though.

"why? you want to?" you frown against his lips, brushing the corner of his mouth to place another kiss there. maybe, he just needs some convincing... if this is about what you think it's about.

your hands trail from his neck to his abdomen, your fingers tugging on hem of his shirt. you lean forward and cradle his head until he hits the armrest, and you realize he's much more susceptible now. good morals—he feels guilty about kissing you.

fortunately for him, you don't actually like someone else. dragging the fabric of his shirt up his stomach, you deepen the kiss as a form of distraction. it was a feeble attempt; he noticed right away.

"wait, wait," he breathes, pulling back for a moment. he can't seem to find his words when you look at him like that, your gaze all sparkly and enticing. "i thought you had your eyes on someone. why are you—?!"

"it was an excuse. i just wanted to kiss you," diving back in without giving him a chance to respond to the shock you've just supplied him.

you open a singular eye, noticing how his are wide open. "what happened to closing your eyes?" the giggle that travels through you isn't enough to soothe him. he needs to hear it directly.

his hands lift to your face, gently pushing your head back with his fingers tangled down to your scalp as he shares your stare. "y—you mean it? you actually want to kiss me?"

"was the fact i've been trying to get you to make out with me for the past 20 minutes not proof enough?"

he shakes his head. "you said that you wanted lessons!"

"so that i could kiss you! you're too smart for this, keiji," you laugh, brushing his dark strands of hair out of his face.

he groans, rubbing his eyes. "god, you're..."

"a genius? yeah, i know." you teasingly raise your eyebrows, as you reach over for his glasses.

the confusion evident on his face, his eyes follow your hand. "i was gonna say crazy," he mumbles, watching you place the glasses on his nose.

"but you've gotta admit," you grin, leaning closer again, "i was able to get this far without you suspecting anything. i'm at least a little smart, right?" he flinches when you tilt his glasses to the side.

"what's that for?" he asks, avoiding the question.

you kiss his nose before moving to his jawline. "keep your glasses on next time we kiss. it's so hot when they're crooked.

he gulps. "next time?"

"mhm," you sigh, connecting your lips to his.

notes. this is probably university au 'cause i didn't have a specific time in mind but too old to be high school too young to have a working job... you get the point

also... can you tell i've never actually kissed anyone ha ha so silly (i'm going to cry)

edit: me forgetting to put tags

[artsyannierose]

Movie sonamy hcs?

i feel like i haven't solidified an opinion of them just because Amy's character can be taken and interpreted in so many different ways, which inevitably makes it so that movie sonamy has many different possibilities

but here i'll try

1. I think Amy will live with the Wachowskis

i know a lot of people are concerned about her technically getting adopted, making her and Sonic adopted siblings but like...no?? She could just live there and have a familial relationship with everyone except Sonic and not get officially adopted

she gives sibling vibes with knuckles anyway, and im sure maddie is going to be thrilled to have amy in the house

or maybe they can all be her in-laws /j

2. Sonic and Amy definitely have beef at first

Doesn't matter about what, they're constantly biting at each other for the dumbest stuff

For example, Amy def likes manga the way Sonic likes comics, and they both fight about which is better

but like give them a week and now both of them never shut up once they start talking about their interests, and pretty soon everyone else just leaves the room and they will yap for HOURS

3. Amy's all girlboss since she's had to live on her own for so long, but the second she realizes she has a knight in shining armor now she totally plays the part

Like she beats up Eggman when he tries to kidnap her, but the second she realizes Sonic was coming to save her, she quickly runs back and sits all dolled up and pretty waiting for him

meanwhile eggman is sitting in his ruined rubble pile like "wtf"

4. Right from the get-go Amy makes it clear that she thinks Sonic is cute

She'll constantly make off-handed comments like "We can't do that, cause singed fur isn't a good look on your handsome face" and Sonic's thrown off at first but as she keeps doing it he eats it up

but bro cannot say that she's pretty to save his life even though she's literally the prettiest person he's ever seen in his entire life)

5. Sonic grows dependent on Amy’s attention

While everyone obviously believes in him and is not shy of saying so (save for Knuckles), there’s something different about having someone you like always hyping you up and doting on you, and he likes it a lot

Kind of like Twitter Takeover Sonic, when Amy said “You’re my one, perfect Sonic,” and he just laughed happily.

6. Whenever Sonic finds a new place of flowers while running around, he always brings one back for Amy

But of course, Amy always prefers it when Sonic takes her to the original place so she can take in the natural beauty

7. They start to mimic each other

This is a headcanon I share with modern SonAmy but you know how they say you act like the people you spend the most time with

Well yeah pretty soon after everything that happens in Sonic 4 you just see Amy tapping her foot when she’s impatient, Saying her catchphrase the way Sonic does, taunting her enemies the way Sonic does

But you also see Sonic showing more interest in fortune tellers, trying to cook chili dogs at Amy’s behest (which he usually would blow up the kitchen before), showing more interest in quill maintenance

im having a hard time coming up with stuff for him cuz idk how movie amy acts help

8. They are both AVID horror movie fans

Sonic used to have no one but Ozzie to watch horror movies with, because Tails sometimes gets scared but he’ll try to do it for Sonic, meanwhile Knuckles just flat out refuses

So when Amy comes along and she’s into horror movies as much as Sonic he’s just like “THE LOVE OF MY LIFE” and they just stay up super late watching horror movies only for everyone to find them the next morning all snuggled up with each other after falling asleep

Aaaaanyways maybe I’ll revisit this once we have a trailer of sorts but I hope this was entertaining :D

IM SO EXCITED FOR MOVIE SONAMY LETS SEE IF THEY OVERTAKE MODERN SONAMY AS MY FAVORITE

[tobiasdrake]

Investigating the worst clue ever. Do I even need to tell you this part's stupid? I think this is universally agreed to be the dumbest clue in franchise history, except maybe 11037. And 11037, at least, had a fair excuse for existing.

So we find the crime scene and all of the wax effigies Angie had made have been tied up by their ankles. Why would someone do this? What does this have to do with the murder? Well, it's to make the statues look less fucking conspicuous.

Yeah. That's right. This was done to avoid drawing people's attention to the fucking statues. Because that makes sense.

Specifically, it's to avoid drawing attention to Kaede's. Because, see, by hanging all four statues up like this, it avoids making Kaede's statue look suspicious. Now there's nothing about the crime scene that makes Kaede's, in particular, stand out at all.

Absolutely nothing at all. 10/10 Maximum camouflage.

So.

Okay.

We have the sword. Not just any sword. The gold-flaked sword from 1-1 included in Tsumugi's Killing Game because Tsumugi's a fucking nerd. Specifically, the sword in Kiyo's possession, that the game made a point to call your attention to and let you know that Kiyo has this sword.

Nothing suspicious about that at all.

But. Like. What is this? Why is this here? We've solved the incredibly complicated mystery of why the statues are hung upside down but why is Kiyo's sword, property of Kiyo, do not touch except for Kiyo at the crime scene stabbed into Kaede?

Well, that was the only way he could do spinaround twirly-doos to create the locked room mystery, of course!

Again, I don't think you need me to tell you that this is the dumbest thing ever. This is pretty universally agreed to be the dumbest thing ever.

Kiyo incriminated himself by bringing his unique one-of-a-kind gold-flake katana to the crime scene so he could fabricate the most ridiculous mechanism in a game that features a Rube Goldberg murder, for the purpose of constructing a locked room.

And why did he need to construct a locked room?

I dunno. Because locked room mysteries are cool, I guess. Gotta give you something to puzzle out because... the culprit can't be doing that for you.

Technically, the reason is so that everyone would be like "BUT WHO COULD HAVE KILLED ANGIE" and agree to do the seance. But. Like. Angie's death is already a pretty complicated affair, seeing as how literally everyone in this building had a motive. The locked room adds nothing; It only helps narrow down the suspects. To. Uh. One.

[moved-2-coyotemaximum]

(click for quality!!!)

anyway tmntsona time <3

fun things under the cut that have nothing to do with their biology/powers

catboy calls leon "leo 2" bc they're older

catboy calls leon "leo 2" bc they're older

leon calls catboy "leo 2" bc it was his name first (technically true, he hatched [trans term] before catboy regardless of age)

catboy has multiple names, but finds the accuracy really funny and therefore refuses to use any other name (a cat named leo, yknow)

when they're in the same space, everyone else calls leon. well, leon or another form of his name, while catboy requests that they call them catboy bc its funny (they do a lot of things based entirely on how funny it'd be if you couldn't tell)

leon however likes to hold a grudge over the dumbest shit ever and catboy (say it with me now) finds it HILARIOUS how mad leon gets about it so they're really the only ones who call each other leo 2

at first, catboy and the turtles only really run into each other on insane coincidence bc they both have access to the police scanner and so of course end up meeting to fight the same dudes

this happens like 7 times before they end up. actually communicating and letting each other know when the other has something handled

the turtles are 100% FASCINATED at how well the big smashy technique works, which catboy just explains away as "super-physical improv", thus revealing themselves as a theater kid. it works so well because catboy has no idea what their next move is gonna be, so there's no fucking way the opponent will either. they're literally just making shit up as they go and as the opponent reveals their weaknesses over the course of the fight.

is actually pretty cool with being a mutant (FURRY)

Casual Turtle Interaction

they definitely bond with mikey over art. they would show him the wonders of air-dry clay while talking about true crime and ghosts and shit. cooking and baking shenanigans also ensue and they would probably fight over their views on rupert swaggert (catboy HATES him bc hes a fucking asshole who makes cooking unfun and less accessible)

would beg donnie to optimize EVERYTHING they have. donnie finds it tedious bc its mostly expanding storage and pirating shit, but he likes to show off. since catboy doesn't know shit about technology, they'd talk about video games, mostly on a superficial level bc catboy Also doesn't know shit about gamer stats and couldn't care less about them (very similar to their fighting style)

would show raph Endless cute animal pics, mostly their own, and discuss wrestling (catboy isn't a huge fan like raph, but they can appreciate a cool persona and ADORE extreme wrestling with glass and chains and shit because it's more real and thus more exciting). they'd probably spar a bit too, though catboy requests frankenfoot to sit out bc they don't want papercuts and also they think frankenfoot is too cute and would definitely throw the match for him.

despite the whole name thing, catboy and leon would get along pretty well. while leon has never been in a theater class or improv class, catboy clocks him as a theater kid at heart Immediately. they'd compete to see who can do a one-man music video best (catboy wins most of the time despite the fact that they can't dance for shit bc they do them Constantly just for funsies and also. yknow did 3 years of theater class). they somehow manage to turn everything into a competition: for catboy, it's always for fun, just a friendly game. leon, however. no matter what the premise is, he takes it probably more seriously than he should and more often than not ends up making a fool of himself. catboy also makes a fool of themselves pretty often though, which definitely makes leon feel better. when it's a gaming competition... it's not usually a gaming competition actually. catboy doesn't really like fighting games (they've only ever really played smash and got absolutely decimated by the guilty gear bot their first time playing), so sometimes the gaming competitions are more like "who can make the most fucked up dog in wobbledogs" or something. these competitions are more evenly split in terms of outcome.

splinter takes a while to warm up to catboy, for obvious reasons. catboy, however, has very strict limits when it comes to what they will or won't eat, one of them being "i am never fucking ever going to eat ANYTHING alive" and another being "i'm not killing it myself, my heart can't take it". catboy has never seen a lou jitsu movie, but nevertheless find it absolutely amazing to be in his presence. they like dumb insignificant trivia, so they ask him endless questions about what it was like to be a film star, what it was like to be in the studio for hours at a time, what other film stars he knows personally, etc etc.

they like to make fun of draxum a lot. like come on dude, you were a warring warrior scientist and now youre Wet Beast Supreme??? it Infuriates him to no end, but they also like to ask him alchemy and magic questions with genuine interest so he's kind of torn between hating and tolerating them. he hasn't killed them yet, so catboy considers this a good sign

they have a little bit of a crush on april KNFKEMSKDMSKMDKSJ they like how spontaneous and gung-ho she is, especially when it comes to absolutely bonkers hidden city shit. they think shes ultra mega cool and considers themself lucky to know her. they don't actually talk much though, due to them both being college students and busy with. yknow school shit.

[nightswithkookmin]

GOING ON A HIATUS

Thanks to everyone who's taken the time out to read my posts and has enjoyed it so far. It's really been fun and entertaining exchanging thoughts and having these much deeper ship discussions.

I thought this issue was gonna go away but I woke up this morning to more people messaging me about finding my last video analysis on several other platforms without appropriate credit.

But that's not disturbing. The disturbing part is the people sliding into people's DM'S on other platforms to get them to take down my video because they don't want people sharing my content on other platforms as they believe it would only make my blog popular.

For those worried about this whole credit business, thanks for showing this much concern for me? I really appreciate the love and concern if it's from a genuine place of concern. Thank you...

I think some of you already know this by now or might have figured it out, I am a law student, I am very much well aware what is and what isn't within my rights? Lol

I honestly didn't see this whole credit thingy as a big deal. It's not. Not to me. Lol. I repost people's photos without credit too all the time. Often, it's because I don't know who to credit and most time my lazy ass just forgets to. Lol. I think it's normal? It's inconsequential I mean.

The videos I use are usually often water marked by the appropriate owners so I don't go through the hustle of figuring this whole credit business out. If I should decide to come back here again I will check that habit of mine?

While this whole credit business is not a big deal to me, malicious slander and defamation to my character is and I don't take it lightly.

It has been brought to my attention that some Jikookers from Tumblr have since been sliding into people's DM's on other platforms asking them to take down my video and or remove the credit they give to my post.

They are telling people I am problematic, calling me the Taekook Lives of the Jikook community. That I have been spreading lies about Jikook, that the Jikook Tumblr community hates me or something like that and to further caricaturize me and make me appear more evil in order to get people to turn on me and hate me, they make up the most ridiculous lies about me claiming that I believe a notorious serial killer is innocent.

Now I have since deleted my YT account because I don't want my colleagues to find out I am into shipping too lol- shipping is a guilty pleasure of mine and I know how this fandom works unfortunately. I've been a silent part of it since 2014. I mean it's started already. The Doxing and shit.

The original post under which these replies are from couldn't save sadly as my account has been deleted but you can see from my notifications the general feel of what my interests outside shipping looks like.

I am interested in a myriad of topics, from literature, Aliens, writing, Harry Potter, history, activism, advocacy, philosophy, law, politics, NASA, and mystery and murder among other things.

My quora is mostly filled with notifications from my Book community and True crime community and often I do share my thoughts and answer questions with regards to the psychology of murderers, legal evidence, notorious villains in literature- well I guess now you know the kind of lawyer I want to be if and when I'm able to complete law school.

But what has my interest in these topics got to do with Jikook and shipping please?? How does this prove I hate Jikook and spread lies about them?

This Kookie Min Monsta person slipped into someone's DMS and asked the person who had put up my video analysis to take it down or discredit me because to her I am problematic. She is not the only one.

You want so bad to paint me black- no pun intended just to win an argument? You claim I am the evil malicious person here but I am not the one sliding into people's dms trying to take credit away from people for their hardwork, spreading hate and negative energy, making things up to manipulate people's perception of others and get them to hate and turn on them- and all because of A SHIP? Damn. This is pathetic.

Who died and made you the gatekeeper of the jikook shipping community? Honestly antics like these don't work on me try again.

I made a video commentary on my Booktube YT account- yes I am part of the book YouTube community as well sue me or better still slip into their inboxes and tell them I voted for Trump therefore I hate chipmunks.

The commentary I made on YT months ago was when I was in the highs of finding a new passion and it was on Ann Rule's book, The Stranger Besides Me- a true crime novel on Ted Bundy which I found so poorly written that at the end of the book it left with me wondering whether or not Ted Bundy was guilty at all!

The Author's writing style which deviates from most writing styles of True Crime novels I have read gave me trust issues as I stated in the video. It felt more as if she was writing a made up fictional novel than an actual True Crime novel but because she knew Ted Bundy in person she made it seem as if we just had to believe her account.

Then there was this whole thing about the police not being able to match the DNA samples taken from his rape victims, to his own Semen because his Semen was DNAless- in lay man's terms. I'll spare you the technicalities involved.

As I stated in that video, I do believe Ted Bundy was guilty but I do not have much faith in the Judicial system, or criminal procedures or even the Author of that book- a sentiment most people within the true crime community share as well. We just had differing views on whether the writer's style took away from the narrative and waters down on the extent of Bundy's guilt.

We had a Similar conversation about Chris Watt. If the community I was engaging in didn't have a problem with my commentary why do you? Please don't meddle in things you know nothing about. It's embarrassing.

The conversation about whether or not Ted Bundy is innocent is moot but a philosophical one. It has nothing to do with Ted Bundy's guilt but more so the criminal procedures involved in his case and the different accounts that exists surrounding his case.

He was electrocuted, he confessed to his crimes no damn person with brains would think or assume he is innocent and I never said anything of that nature drew any conclusions to that effect.

Besides, I moved on from Ted Bundy a long time ago. Now I am into the Serial Killer who writes death poems and signs it off with drawings of the size of his dick at his crime scenes- mind your own business please or don't and let's have an intellectual discourse about him? Lmho.

I am also into cat memes if you care to know and have a whole IG dedicated to cat memes. I believe human beings are the most dumbest species in all the galaxies and when the Aliens arrive I am snitching.

When my mind is at rest, I often wonder if Aliens have masculinity complex and if they do whether or not their masculinity is contingent on the size of their dicks or whether they have to engage in a battle to the death with an alien grizzly bear to determine who is the man.

I love BTS memes too- a little too much and often end up debating over the internet with random people over whether BTS memes are funnier than cat memes- I'm weird, true. But how does all of that make me a bad person?

It's crazy how these people can go on these other platforms to ask people to take down the credits to my posts as well as my posts itself but can't ask people who run to these other platforms with misinterpretations of my work to take those down.

Instead they come on here to call me out for people's interpretations of my work?? It doesn't work that way. You are the author of your own opinion and interpretation of other people's work. You don't call out the original author for someone's opinion of their work. If that were so I would be emailing Stephanie Meyer for Anna Todd and her After series. Get some education.

I have since blocked this person and others whose Tumblr I have been able to find thanks to all those that's helped me finding them on here.

My gf also tried reaching out to the persons who shared my post after we realised this was becoming an issue and had asked them to credit her or my blog- but honestly I don't care about that yet she won't give it a rest. Lol. My ride or die this one. Sigh.

However, we realized soon that this is not about 'stealing' credit- can't call someone out for not giving credit when I suck at that myself. Lol.

This is about people's malicious intentions and their attempts to silence me and take away my right to freedom of expression however way that they can. This is wrong and evil.

I honestly don't care for all these ship politics these people are engaged in. I've had enough intelligent conversations to know the distinction between arguments that flows from bruised egos and actual conversations around a subject matter.

This whole I am right, she is wrong politics... y'all get that the point of having an opinion is not to be right, right? We all cant have the same perspective and you can't call someone a liar for holding views that is different from yours. That is a bizarre mentality to have.

As I stated in my post, that content I made was a rebuttal to the Taekook theories running around on the internet alleging JK glared at Tae when he pulled on his shoulder because he was jealous Tae and Jin were having fun behind him. He wasn't. He was worried Tae was gonna expose him and JM holding hands behind Suga.

If you don't think they were holding hands then Taekookers were right and his reaction was because he was Jealous of Taejin I guess...

But thats your truth. That's not my truth. I don't believe Taekook is real. JK isn't jealous of Taejin he is not Twelve- but then again he was sneaking around behind Suga holding his boyfriend's hands so I guess he is twelve? Lol. Jikook!

Do you.

But please stop the evil malicious attacks and seek immediate help. There is such a thing as right and wrong and this is just plain wrong. Your Karma and chakra are in the negative nodes and you need to fix it. It is not funny anymore.

Thank you to everyone who has shown genuine concerns for me in the past few days and thank you so much for trying to stand up for me. There are good people on here and I have met and interacted with a lot of them and thank you so much for such a wonderful experience and insightful discussions.

I don't hate people because of our differences in thoughts, beliefs, opinions. There's always room for dissenting opinions in every sphere. At the very least, we can agree to disagree and shake on it. But You can't make up shit about people just to prove your opinion is right and their opinions and views which differ from yours are 'wrong.

I am not a victim though, and they are not bullies, psst. They are just vile pathetic human beings exposing the greens of their insides. What you do says more about who you are as a person and human being. And this is who they are.

Just be a nice decent human being. That's what this world needs. Fix whatever is broken inside of you and free your mind and spirit. Hate is never the answer.

I'm going to be away for a while because I have studies, work and other interests I want to pursue at the moment- it's just my AADD flaring up so if you see me henceforth raving about Nana at least you'd know why. Lol. She's wrecking my Jimin bias. Lmho.

Spread positivity, do the right thing, stand up for a good cause and keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Until we meet again.

Signed,

GOLDY

[fumbling-fanfics]

Lewis Tan x Reader...

Prompt/Idea: Fuck her like her ex is living in the apartment downstairs.

This wasn't a request, just something me and @crushed-pink-petals chatted about. Then I started writing and I was forcing it so I forgot about it and then I saw it when I wanted to write and now I'm happy with it. So moral of the story, write what you can and leave them on ice for another date.

Warnings: Smut

**********************************************

Lewis pressed you into the couch with his body as you kissed. His mouth moved from yours, across your jaw, finding the side of your neck as he ground his hips into yours. You moaned into his ear as your hands went under his cotton t-shirt, feeling the heat of his skin, and the movements of his muscles beneath.

Your drew your nails lightly down his back under his t-shirt . He released the skin of your neck, and groaned into your neck. “Take this off.” you breathed, tugging on his shirt. His mouth released your neck, no doubt to return at a later point to finish the love bite.

In a split of a second, his shirt was gone. Then so was yours. Lewis managed to shimmy you out of your jeans. Then his jeans where gone - boxers too. You're not sure when you lost your underwear. Maybe you weren't wearing any.

Lewis always managed to make the simple moment toe curlingly intense. Which made you wetter and everything a hundred times more sexy.

He cupped the side of your face, his thumb hooking into your mouth as he balanced his weight on his elbow and forearm while his other hand disappeared down between you both.

As soon as you felt his fingers brush along your stomach - you knew what was coming, Lewis knew you knew what was coming. Your fingers trembled on the back of his neck in anticipation. Your heart pounder in your chest as you felt his hand dip between your legs. He cups you, dragging his fingers between your folds, gathering your arousal in his hand. He uses it lubricate himself, drawing his hand up and down his length from base to tip.

If you could repeat the feeling of Lewis entering you you would. It makes you stomach muscles flutter like butterflies.

He holds still to savour the feeling of being in you. How you dance around him, trying to pull him deeper.

His other hand, now finished between you both, slide under your lower back, and as he slide into you he tilted your hip upwards. It wasn't even that big of a tilt, but as usual it just has your eyes rolling into the back of your head and your fingernails scraping against the back of his head. Lewis shudders.

"You want me to stop" Lewis grinned, his hips still moving in that way that meant you couldn't catch your breath. You couldn't speak, just pulling Lewis closer to you. His stomach against yours, his chest against yours.

There was the sound of knocking on a door, but you could no longer see the TV so you weren't sure if it was the TV or actually someone at your door.

"No" For a moment you were lost in the movement of his hips and the dirty things he was whispering into your ear.

The banging on the door sounds again. Now it was obvious that the noise wasn't coming from the TV.

"The door"

"Ignore it" the banging is more impatient, obvious it's was not knuckles against the door but a palm.

"Someone is at the door. Open the door" Lewis doesn't stop immediately. He changes the angel of his thrusts watching as you fall quiet with a gasp.

"No" he grins pulling your hands from your mouth, the moan mixed with a curse shuddering out as you came.

"Good girl" he praises with a kiss on your forehead. You can't help but whimper when he pulls out, getting up off the floor. You really didn't remember being on the floor, you thought you were on the couch.

You want to get up too, cover yourself with the quilt that's under you. But your body says no.

Lewis gets up to answer the door. He knows you're mostly hidden by the couch so he doesn't need to wait for you to cover you up. He already knows exactly who's gonna be at the door.

"Hi" Lewis grins opening the door wide. Wide enough that the person can see into the apartment, but also see that Lewis is naked. Butt naked.

"Erm-" your ex quickly averts his eyes up to the hallway ceiling. It's one thing to see another man naked. It's another to see him with a hard on and naked. And a very different thing to see another man who is dating your ex naked, hard and most definitely still wet from having sex with her.

"How can I help you?“ Lewis smirks. It's the smirk that somehow doesn't get him punched in the face.

Your ex is your ex because well according to him - things change. Which in the interest of self preservation you didn't fight, you can't force someone to stay with you. But now there was a seed of doubt growing in your ex's mind as he caught Lewis' physic in the corner of his eye. Did you break up with him because he didn't look like Lewis?

Ripped was almost an understatement. He was cut and your ex suddenly wanted to know what his secret or what Men's Health routine would get him on his way to looking like Lewis.

But then everyone knew abs where made in the kitchen. So what was Lewis eating… Apart from you (and very well by the sounds of things)?

And Lewis' dick. While you're ex was not in the category of small or below average, he certainly was not packing the way Lewis was. He wanted a better look, for comparison purposes later, so risked moving his gaze from the ceiling to the floor.

Did you and your ex break up because of his size and performance? Another seed of doubt. Because when he thought about it, he didn't technically break up break up with you, it was more like a break that got out of hand, right?

And there's a tattoo down there too! Like it's the world's dumbest placed tattoo. But your ex also thinks it's the coolest tattoo, the tattoo that no doubt says 'best dick of your life' - a nice preview before the main show. Maybe he could get a tattoo down there, but then hell was also more likely to freeze over. Plus he wouldn't look cool like Lewis did.

Lewis extends a hand, in an implied 'good talk' way. "I'm Lewis. Lewis Tan" your ex doesn't know why, but he extends his hand too, shaking Lewis' hand.

Why was he shaking hands with the naked guy who was now banging (and very well by the sounds of things) his ex? He was probably gripping the hand he used on you minutes earlier.

You're ex mumbled his name, cursing himself for not saying his name with more umph. With his chest. "Cool, well we'll try and keep it down"

Try. Try. The way Lewis said try, your ex knew he wasn't going to 'try' and do anything. He'd probably just end up being louder.

"See ya" Lewis shut the door before anything else could be said.

"What did they say?" you're ex's girlfriend asks as he returns to the apartment from his failed telling off. But he didn't hear, he was too busy thinking about Lewis. And you. And we'll mainly Lewis.

"Babe! Did they say they would be quite" he snapped out of his trance.

"I think so"

"You think so, they either said yes or no!"

"Well I only spoke to Lewis"

"Whose Lewis?"

“Y/n's new boyfriend. He answered the door. Naked"

"What!“ your ex moved to the kitchen sink to wash his hands. Not out of offence, just out of the thought that he couldn't really go around with possible traces of you on his hands.

“He opened the door and he was naked. No clothes on. Just a hard on… That lasted the entire chat, it didn't move once"

In the moment of silence the muffled moans and cries of pleasure could be heard again. This time it sounded like you and Lewis had moved from the living room to the bedroom.

"Are you fucking serious" your ex's girlfriend shouts up at the ceiling, stamping a foot.

"To be fair it's not that loud. The walls are shit, remember we heard all of that Golden Girls Marathon from Ms Yeatman's apartment"

And it wasn't really. It was just while you're ex and his girlfriend ate dinner in front of the TV, they realised they probably should have picked a show that had less silent intense moments where only looks were shared between the characters. The show just wasn't the same when the moments were punctured with "Oh my god" or moans that made both blush.

You're never sure why you take the lift in your building anymore, it's painfully slow. But then again you're exhausted and are only leaving the apartment based on Lewis' promise of pancakes.

On hearing that word you threw on a pair of leggings, flip flops, a top and Lewis hoodie and stumbled into the lift.

It's only when the doors open and you see your ex that you remember the other reason you don't get the lift.

"Y/n" he mumbles. You just give him a slight acknowledging nod.

You stay where you are and let your ex take the wall furthest from you. It's not really an awkward silence, but it's not an not awkward silence. You're praying he doesn't speak.

Eventually the lift slows to a stop and the doors open slowly.

"About last night" you look at the gap and wonder if you should try and squeeze through it.

"Yeah, sorry. But don't worry, you won't have to deal with it for much longer-" the gap is wider so you chance it.

"Yep, I'm moving out" you keep a couple of steps ahead, seeing Lewis' figure outside your apartment entrance.

"What? When?" you push open the entrance door without answering. "See ya" you skip up to Lewis, trickling his sides. He spins around tackling you in hug like he hasn't seen you for a while.

"Let's go before I have to answer questions about me moving out" you whisper as you tuck yourself under Lewis' arm. "At least he didn't stare at you dick" Lewis grins. You ugly laugh.

"He did not!" you snort

"He did too"

"Well it is a nice dick" you shrug.

"Maybe you wanna look at it after pancakes" Lewis cocks his head your way, his cheeky grin accentuated by his glasses.

**********************************************

Tags: @ellixthea @lovelymari4 @chaneajoyyy

@honeychicana @beaminglife @amelatonin @themyscxiras @crushed-pink-petals @lady-olive-oil @jojolu @endless00paradise @est1887 @cajunpeach @melinda-january @profoundlynerdywolf @deathonyourtongue @designerwriterchic @itsbqueenthings @alicesfracturedmirror @joebob15274 @write-fromthe-start @islanddgal @tarashari-tfp @dc41896 @princess-evans-addict @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes @islanddgal @c-cqat