#Grumpy megatron

[oblivious-prime]

Grumpasaurus - Draft

The Nemesis corridors were unusually quiet.

Unusual, because Megatron had spent the last thirty-six hours terrorizing everyone with his presence. Not overtly—there had been no violence, no threats—but his fury burned cold and constant, like a power core about to rupture.

He snapped at Knock Out, growled at Breakdown, and had answered Soundwave's calm “status check” with a snarl as he exposed his dentae, "If one more of you implies I am—"moody"—I will send all of you into deep space in a CRATE.

Soundwave merely blinked. Then comes, 'Observation: You are tracking Optimus Prime’s location ping every 0.74 minutes.

Megatron had snarled yet again, "It’s a tactical habit. Old instincts. I am FINE. PERFECTLY FUNCTIONAL."

He was not functional. He was cranky. He was sleeping badly. And the berth was too damn cold.

(hint: Optimus has been gone for a three-day summit.

[bootleg-grandpa]

Nautica gets the Favourite Child™ privileges

Kind of related to this post

[lyretheinstrument]

ratchet design finally up !!!! next batch of designs coming soon trust

[witchofthesouls]

Ex-retail worker sparkling, and Camian Nurse/Tarn Crossover.

Tarn would maintain untill the day he offlined, that he was simply suffering from new parent recharge deprivation when he reflexively grabed the criticaly spark stressed sparkling when it rounded a corner darting into him. Parenting Protocols simply overtook him. The entire Armada, who had been trying to catch the newspark, couldn't possibly have been correct in saying he was he was Seeker-kin. He has no idea why his conjux exvented deeply everytime she heard him say it.

You hated, absolutely hated being a sparkling. You'd had a job, an apartment, and your own wheels. Even if the job had been retail hell, your apartment was a 1 bedroom in the attic of a sketchy subdivided shithole and your car was held together with spite and chicken wire. You needed a drink, a pack of smokes and possibly to share a joint with the really old hippy who had the basement apartment. None of those things would ever be options again.

It sucked with the Autobots, who at least tried to be understanding of the situation and respect you'd been an adult closer to retirement than you were to high-school graduation let alone a baby or toddlerhood. It sucked worse with the Deceptions. Fucking Skywarp "rescued" you right before the basterds fucked off of Earth. You weren't calling Prowl or Optimus robot dad. Like hell were you calling any of the baby-crazy Seekers who you'd finaly escaped from, numb pedes and all, dad either. Especially not Skywarp or Starscream. The only one that didn't completely suck was Thundercracker; unfortunately Warp and Screamer came with him as a package deal. You felt sick with yourself for even considering the thought of calling a decepticon your dad.

That, even more than the flock of seekers who'd picked up onn our trail, was why you slammed into the pede of the biggest try-hard of a tank you'd ever seen. Incredibly purple with a Decepticon badge shaped face mask he looked like he was trying to shout to the universe he was the most Decepticon, Decepticon to ever deceive. With speed no one his size should possess he had you up to his chest purring up a storm while he took off sprinting in the direction of Hook's medbay. The purr was begining to do the weird slow calmey thing inspite of your best efforts to hold on to your righteous indignation and atempts to maul his refretibky eell armored servos and chest plate. Him kicking open the door to the medical bay snaped you out of your impending reverie. He flung back a curtain around a medical berth all the way in the back beeping, and bleeping and whiring in panic.

You saw to your immense suprise at a femme with her tits out nursing a pair of sparklings and a floating cradle pod with four other babies and toddlers snoozing away. She looked at Try-Hard like he had lost his mind. Right untill she saw you. Then she went *intense.*

Everyone would have an easier time if the ex-retailer was cyberized into a newspark rather than a sparkling because the poor soul would be incapable of running, and your frame's emotional and physical needs for a creator would trump your tightly clung devotion to some kind of independence.

Unfortunately for the Autobots and the Decepticons, you're a sparkling. A sparkling with full mobility and complete recollection of your old human life as an ex-adult of the short-lived species.

You don't have the innate innocence of the very young with little experience. Your physical appearance doesn't match your dead expression, exhaustion set deep in your protoform. It doesn't help that you feel... extremely brittle, a vulnerability that feels so raw that any mech with a tiny speck of a conscious feels driven to tuck you up.

Tarn, due to the series of ridiculous events that landed him a legal Conjunx and creatorhood, is used to wrangling tiny frames and tinier, medically delicate ones. You, unfortunately, count. His servos are sure and immovable to your squirming, even if your own immature burning spark practically grips onto his EM field, mirroring his calming, slow rotations from its jagged, spiking climb to soothe itself.

Because of your highly unstable state, Tarn immediately brings you to Nurse.

You're a very popular figure for a multitude of ridiculous reasons, and you stay with Justice Division for similarly ridiculous reasons.

You may have decided on Tarn just because his mere shadow keeps everyone away to make distant goo-goo eyes at you, but it's the Camien that sealed the deal.

It's not the easy share of information or her accounting your past self to present ordeal, but the cooking. You honestly cried when she placed a plate of real, chewable food right in front of you. It's properly seasoned as well.

Ever since you woken up as a child of a different species, you had to say goodbye to many things you'd taken for granted, like immediate anonymity, clothes, and the human concept of everything privacy.

You already relearned how to talk from once uncooperative mouth that wasn't musical notes of chirps. Working hard to reproduce the simple basics of the English alphabet as everyone had an opinion to share over the public channel of internal comms, like a real-time chat with an inability to stay invisible.

You had to mourn your old wardrobe and linens. Not only were the materials too fragile, but there was no point as you couldn't take off your newfound metal shell. No more thick, warm blankets to burrito yourself on rainy days. No more hoodies to snuggle into. No more window shopping or ordering in or anything related to textiles.

Privacy and space were mindfucks. The 'polite space' was a laughable concept to Cybertronians as the mechs had EM fields to project their energy. A door isn't a physical barrier, and it doesn't help your new body can't help but react to the smothering presences. Invasive in an indescribable way to tell another human as you end up sobbing on an Autobot's lap -usually on an Autobot officer, but Optimus takes the league as he splays out his field to hunt you down when you try to hide away and refuse to answer calls - pain in your torso subsiding along with the nausea and tremors in your limbs, numbness receding to get swallowed by a flashflood of emotional turmoil caused by 'sparkling-related trauma-response' and 'priority clash between sparkling needs and your mental age' that results in a snotty sobbing mess that forces you into a nap afterwards.

Camien Nurse is a fountain of knowledge, strangely accepting of your ordeal, and well-versed in handling the many potential differences across alien biology.

Apparently, Caminus is a colony that venerates passion in its many forms, so as a whole, they're used to dealing with foreigners and a variety of different species... including hybrids that occasionally happen.

Even the Autobots, a group that literally lived on Earth and intimately worked with humans for decades, still fumbled your adjustment. You're bitter that someone who never stepped foot on your planet (let alone your homeland) bridged the stranger nuances of cultural clashes and Cybertronian physiology and development.

The Nurse knows exactly the kind of energy to exude that simultaneously keeps the sparkling frame happy and settles your more adult mentality.

You're following more Camien lifestyle. As far as the Decepticons are concerned, you're now under the D.J.D. purview, but really, you're acting as an apprentice to the Nurse and Nickel.

You know there's something else going about Nurse as she's far too knowledgeable in many disciplines, but you can't tell if it's a Nurse-thing or a Camien-thing.

It may be a medical-professional-thing as Nurse isn't afraid to poison a guy to force them into checkups, and Nickel manages to keep the Justice Division on schedule with their maintenance.

Once it gets broken out that the Earthborn sparkling has been settled, it will open up arguments.

Tarn has a type, and it's spiteful sparks with the violent competence to back up their confidence. And you're willing to bet that Try-Hard has a kind of incestuous complex that Freud would kill to psychoanalysize as you can't help but notice the same hyperfocus he gives his Conjunx... is the same he gives Megatron. And you know it because you're perched on the mech's shoulders (and you didn't fight it as other mechs still tried to get your space, so Tarn is providing the height and presence for you to play 'keep away') in the shitstorm when the Autobots demand to see you, and it degrades into a massive argument between Nurse and Ratchet. You can't understand the words as they switched to Neocybex, but it's vicious and cutting as Nurse bares her teeth, doorwings splayed high and wide, and Ratchet doesn't explode with a hot temper. He's calm, his tone chilly and frigid with the tundra-cold optics.

You're not a Decepticon. You don't want to be a Decepticon, but no one will drop you back on Earth. Silently, you don't want to return to the Autobots as no one is capable of returning you to your old self. You're currently stuck with the Decepticon Spanish Inquisition inspired by Chainsaw Massacre, Hellraiser, Dark Souls, and Blasphemous. With Addams Family domesticity as a cherry on top for the roving execution squad.

Even other Decepticons are saying... things because the Justice Division gets to keep another sparkling.

You suppress the shiver whenever Megatron, the Warlord that deemed Earth as another battleground in the endless civil war, sets his optics on you. Not as a person but lesser, a reward to shove it against other subordinates' faces over their failures, both a taunt and dismissal.

Life more or less settles in a rhythm. You had to stay under medical observation with Nurse and Nickel. Eventually, taking over Nurse's old hab, so her first clutch happily moved back into Tarn's quarters. Your newfound apprenticeship is a very hands-on one, theoretical within the practical. You're dragged (not unwillingly) to pharmacology preparation, infection control, blade care, anatomy and physiology between frame-schematics, bartering among various aliens, foraging and butchering, musical theory, regional folklore, physical regiment, and applied physics.

Finding out that Cybertronians are intersex with hardware eerily similar to humans is one thing. It was a mindbender to see a pair of really nice tiddies on the Nurse because you didn't expect more human-like secondary sexual characteristics.

You also didn't expect Helex and Tesarus to have tits as well. Theirs were rubber, more akin to bags that could be fully emptied rather than Nurse's protoform wells.

Although you've known about your current child state, Nurse actually has the time to truly impart information, answer the questions on your jumbled mind, and make time to do tests to measure your baseline in matters you never thought you've needed. Compared to Ratchet and his crew, the Nurse and Nickel only service the Justice Division, not a whole army.

You had to stare at the medbay ceiling for a long night because with the revelation of Cybertronian 'interface,' you now had to deal with that you literally felt Autobots' extremely horny 'vibes' coupling up at the home-based. And deal with the bomb that you're currently stuck with a child's body for the next hundreds of thousands of years, give or take a few millennium.

You set your sights on brewing because you stole sips of engex from various sources... and you never felt a deep disappointment that alien hard liquor was the equivalent of a mid beer. Nurse and Nickel commiserate with you. Cybertron, unfortunately, has terrible cuisine. An entire liquid diet that's basically sad rations with faint flavors.

A mech usually needs to pat you down because someone (Swindle) keeps selling you smokes.

You honestly can not believe that the Try-Hard is the only mech who gets consistently laid without a need to start a barfight, mayhem, or a generous helping of contraband.

Cybertronians as a whole seem to have a more lackadaisical idea of seclusion for a quickie because you walked into the married couple clanging away. You're more surprised that Mr. Purple Prose is actually mute in bed... and terribly impressed that Nurse is able to take in the massive spike. She's the more violent, demanding one: biting down on Tarn's neck until the scarred cables rends opens and bleeds, kicking him to urge to go faster.

Just because you have insider knowledge of the married couple's sex life that doesn't mean you spread it to the mechs that seem to crawl out of the vents for an information shakedown because the rumor mills is buckwild.

The Decepticons have a warped opinion over the bonded pair, but if anyone is getting 'ruined,' you would say it's really Tarn. You now understand 'cunt-drunk' and 'pussy-whipped' around Try-Hard's unmoderated field after a session. It's as if Tarn found a new revelation and inner peace in Nurse's valve.

Apparently, Tarn used to be far more up-tight, or so you've been told. By multiple mechs.

You're also fairly sure that Vos wants to fuck them. There's no other way to read how the mech splays himself coyly on random surfaces in a come-hither fashion. Nurse snorts or barks a laugh, whereas Tarn straightup chides the gunformer for 'inappropriate displays during work hours.'

[palettepainter]

You know the obsession is hitting hard when you start contemplating purchasing a new little guy for your collection

[halenhusky309]

It's so funny how Transformers fandom acted like Earthspark Megatron is good now and barely has any issues when this hypocrite bitch still has shit tons of issues in the show.

In the Decoy episode, Megatron was be like "I don't want to harm them so I won't use my canon. Also I want to give them a chance" toward Optimus, only to go berserk on Soundwave and fair game cannon fire at the cassette cons after Soundwave used his word to mock him...

And does anyone remember how he advised Bumblebee to handle the Terrans??? I was really in "what the fuck, Megatron?" moment and kinda understood why the Decepticons still continued the old shitty path. If the so-called reformed Megatron still keeps his violent and dominating tendency, it is less likely for the Decepticons, his former followers, to steer themselves to be better.

And I have a lot of things to say about Megatron in the "Warzone" episode but that will be in another post.

[jezebel-spirit]

I can't tell the difference between these images.

[cloudy-shine-starr]

My grumpy man 🥰🥰🥰

[thescreaminghat]

minitron

[nerdfins]

My contribution to the Megatron Face meme:

This idea had me giggling at work all day.

[milkcartondoodle]

Wait, thought, Megatron x Ratchet fic where they're both in medical school could be cool does that exist at all

[greeneyedsigma]

Male characters Sigma finds attractive for whatever reason in a few fandoms:

One Piece

King the Wildfire (Pretty + Vicious + big boy)

Charlotte Katakuri (Good big brother + orc teeth + big boy)

Crocodile (James Bond Villain Vibes + big boy)

Sakazuki (Pissed off grumpy + potentially tragic background + daddy vibes + big boy

Transformers

Megatron (Super Villain + Fallen Knight Vibes + Grumpy Old Man energy + big boy)

Optimus Prime (Just Knight + Tired Dad + Daddy Vibes + big boy)

Ultra Magnus (Exhausted + Done with your immature shit + ‘Kind of needs a hug’ vibes + big boy)

Red Dead Redemption 2

Arthur Morgan ( ‘Life insists on fucking me and I don’t know the safeword’ + sad cowboy + secretly soft AF + big boy)

Norse Mythology

Odin (Not even trying to hide the he’s an asshole + big dick energy + big boy)

[ask-a-bot]

I do not have an image of them, but the blue one said that the grumpy one's name is Prowl. Devious thing.

Prowl! I had a feeling it might be him. He is vile!

Let me handle Prowl. I'll call him right now.

Megatron, please leave the room. We both know you'll be tempted to... speak your mind. Loudly.

Prowl is a deranged lunatic!

Yeah, like that. Go on – go look at toy houses with Starscream or something.

We are Decepticons! We are... refined. We are noble! We-

Megatron! Megatron! There's a dolls house made out of a fancy, glass and wood cabinet! It's tiny and breakable and I'd be scared to even sneeze near it, but it's beautiful and I want it!

You were saying?

Hmph.

[spectralquartzafterdark]

👀👀 okay that was Jules??? Holy scrap im excited!! Now Rosie whatcha got cooking?!

Sure, this one needs a smidgen of context though. My brother told me what the original ending was going to be for Bayverse Dark of the Moon and it's been on my mind a lot lately. Imagine that Megatron having to atone for his war crimes. And then getting stuck with a powderpuff of a mechanic (My self insert Rosie) 😂 Call it a midlife crisis. It's uh gotten out of hand so here's a chunk of it. Heck I don't even know if it'll get posted. Also, mention of Noah because I'm mushing continuities together!

Something in him hated this. It hated her kindness. And he hated her not because he was cruel, but because he was starting to understand why the bots trusted her. He hated that he felt an attachment forming. He hated that a thought of staying in this place crossed his mind. He hated that even with his records she never treated him as an enemy. He hated everything about her and this situation and yet the moment the others left he tried to keep her attention for awhile longer. He needed it.

“How… did you learn to repair Cybertronians?” he asked wanting to learn more about her despite the dark energy in his Spark screaming at him to leave it.

“Well, for the minor stuff I learned from Ratchet initially. Basic biology and terminology and the like. It’s very similar to things we have here so it wasn’t too terrible. Especially considering my father taught me to repair automotive vehicles.” Rosie said as she began to clean up the workshop so she could work on his right hydraulic tomorrow, “Then Noah taught me to sew bots back together. So, long as we can get parts from their chosen earth altmode it seems to be an easy task.”

“And reviving bots?” Megatron seemed almost cautious with this question as he carefully sat back down on the concrete floor of the hangar.

“As Jazz said, it was an accident.” she chuckled, “When he was brought to us his Spark was in one piece, just dormant. And one day while Noah and I were stitching him together I had a brilliant idea. What if your Sparks needed the same electrical pulses it took to revive our hearts? And well, I took my taser and just shoved it to the Sparks case holding and there he was. Dazed and confused, but alive. It wasn’t planned just a stroke of luck.”

“A risk… one that worked out in your favor. Interesting…” he said watching as she hopped onto a lift to get to his level.

“Mmhmm. And besides, he was thought to be dead. So, if it failed it wouldn’t matter. It was worth the risk.” she explained coming to level with his optics, “I can also repair aesthetic injuries like your helm with steel. So, long as I treat it like a transplant your energon, blood… or well the equivalent seems to grow over it and make it apart of you. Jazz? That panel on his abdomen that you tore in two? That is a steel replacement I did.”

Megatron recoiled at the mention of the war crime he had committed. Not only had she definitely been told about his past, but it was absolutely eerie how she spoke about it so calmly. But, beneath that was relief. She didn’t seem to judge him for his poor decisions made from being power hungry and filled with a rage that he still fought with despite the truce.

“I see why Sam trusts your work.” He said.

“I wouldn’t say that exactly, I think he trusts Noah more than me. But, only because he’s been doing it longer. Mirage isn’t going to believe me when I tell him I got to help repair you.” she snorted leaning on the rail, “Listen, I am highly aware of the circumstances between you and the other bots. But, I’m also highly aware of how and why it happened.”

“Then why are you helping me?” his voice was low as if he was a dog ready to bite.

“Sometimes, kindness is enough.” She responded.

Something inside of him clicked. Though he couldn’t quite place what it was. He watched as she lowered the lift. He gritted his dentae as his mind whirred with what that meant. Kindness was still a concept he had issues with. He couldn’t fully grasp it. Yet. So, he decided to leave it. It was a sentiment he could live with.

“I’ll see you in the morning.” she said, “If the others give you trouble let me know.”

With that she left and all he could do is sit and stare into the wall in front of him. He didn’t even notice the others coming in. He was ruminating about what was said. What it meant. Why would anyone give him kindness? He was aware of what he did and clearly this human was to. So, why? Enough? What was that supposed to mean?

[mratomicbombstar]

[nedo21god]

I love @madamadamiu AU so muchhhh—thank you for sharing it with us!!1!! I've been thinking about some headcanons for it and wanted to drop them here

1.Rodimus is terrified of fire. His first family perished in a house fire—one he accidentally caused by knocking over a candle late at night. The blaze devoured everything before help could arrive. Orion found him alone in the ashes and brought him to the shelter.

2. Nickel is a vet. She got tired of seeing the DJD strays wandering the streets, sick or injured, so she took them in. Gave them top-tier treatment and a warm place to rest. She never forces them to stay—but they always come back to her.

3.Ravage once had a breakdown. Something about family, school—no one really knows. What everyone remembers is Megatron approaching silently, curling around Ravage and—for the first time—purring. He even licked his forehead, awkward and rough. Ravage cried himself to sleep in his paws.

4. Sometimes Rung does that. He lies down on the floor and calls the cats to come lie on top of him

5. Froid runs his own shelter... But his methods are twisted. He believes in breaking cats to make them obedient, "better" pets. He calls it training. The others call it cruelty.

6. Orion kept trying to adopt Megatron. Every time, it ended in chaos—shredded furniture, broken lamps, ruined walls. And Megatron, sitting calmly amid the wreckage like he expected this to happen

7.The Wreckers are a rescue organization. They step in when cats are abused or in danger. They were the ones who saved Fortress Maximus from Overlord.

8.Ultra Magnus began comforting Megatron during storms. Bad weather hits, and Megatron curls in tight. Magnus, grumpy but reliable, lets him press close and hums quietly through the thunder.

9. Overlord once tried to adopt from the Lost Light shelter. He came in, suave and smiling, said he wanted Rewind—and maybe Chromedome too. But when the gentle giant Fortress Maximus, usually soft and polite, suddenly attacked Overlord, Rung didn’t hesitate. He threw Overlord out.

10.Fort Max and Red Alert were adopted by Cerebros. He sends Rung daily photo updates—sleepy cat piles, Red Alert doing recon under the couch, Fort Max trying to fit in a too-small box.

11. Magnus doesn't really like other cats. He tolerates them. He needs his space. He hates being touched. Except by Rodimus. Rodimus climbs on him, sleeps on top of him, bats at his tail, and even steals his food—and Magnus just lets him.

12. Tyrest was Ultra Magnus's original owner. Even before he lost his mind completely, he was… off. He kept adopting cats that all looked the same—large, stern-faced, silent types—and naming every single one “Ultra Magnus. He believed his cat was immortal.