#Guan would probably answer “I'm always okay” if anyone else was asking

[grasshopperdoingdogpaddle]

[midotakaism]

Hi I just wanted to say I love your posts and rambles/screaming/crying about 19 days and tianshan (because, like same, I could cry I love them so much),, anyway uhhh, if you had to pick your number 1 most fave tianshan moment (artwork/specials as well as regular chapters) what would it be? I know this is gonna be a huge can of worms and I'm here for it

first of all – before i proceed to completely lose it over your question [nervous laugh] – i just really wanted to thank you for the lovely message: im very glad that you enjoy my messy blabbering, knowing that someone likes them always makes me so happy, and if you ever need a companion to cry over tianshan and how much you love them… [shares blanket, cookies and box of tissues] im always here for that!!

as for the other part of your message, YOUR HONOR, I WANT THE RECORDS TO SHOW THAT THE ENQUIRER KNEW THAT TRYING TO ANSWERING THIS QUESTION WOULD DEVASTATE ME AND ASKED IT ANYWAY, AND ALSO THAT I LOVE ALL TIANSHAN MOMENTS BUT I WAS FORCED TO PICK. and also that i cheated just a little bit, because while in the end i considered normal and special chapters together, i kept the official arts as a separated thing since i feel like it’s hard to compare them to a full comic strip, but that’s a minor detail

so this question was… painful, to say the least, but i tried my best to answer it, and after thinking hard about it, and going back to reread all the tianshan chapters, and trying to make a list of my favorite moments, failing, trying again, going by process of elimination, having an existential crisis or two while doing it, i came to the conclusion that if i really really really really reeeeaaally had to choose my number 1 tianshan moment until now, that would probably be guan shan asking he tian to buy him the pair of pure black studs in chapter 283 and then the entirety of chapter 284 (IT’S AN ENTIRE SCENE SO IT COUNTS AS ONE MOMENT DON’T ARGUE WITH ME)

(more blabbering under the cut because YOU SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED THIS) 

my original intention was actually to show my favorite moment by putting the corresponding panel here so that this answer wouldn’t be just a huge block of text as usual, but the reason i ended up picking that whole scene as my favorite was also because i couldn’t choose just a single panel: at first i wanted to put guan shan asking for the earrings along with the look of surprise on he tian’s face, BUT ALSO HE TIAN HUGGING HIM AND BITING HIS NECK AND DRAGGING HIM TO GO BUY THE STUDS AND THEN HE TIAN ASKING GUAN SHAN IF HE WAS SCARED AND GUAN SHAN REPLYING HE IS NOT WITH THAT PANEL OF THEIR HANDS REACHING FOR EACH OTHER I JUST I COULDN’T OKAY I COULDN’T not to be dramatic but if i could print this entire chapter on a duvet cover and wrap myself in it like a cocoon and was socially acceptable to go outside like that i would

i mentioned before how important this moment is for guan shan as a character, but it’s also so incredibly important for tianshan as a ship: until this chapter, we always saw he tian being the one to approach and search for guan shan, but this time is guan shan that on his own free will, without being prompted, goes looking for he tian, and not only that, but for the first time he actually asks he tian for something, and that is so damn HUGE i don’t even know where to start to properly convey that

guan shan has never asked anything to anyone, multiple times he has refused people giving him stuff because he didn’t want to owe them, and all of this because of his experience with she li that taught him that people always have an ulterior motive for helping you out, they always want something back from you and never do it for free. guan shan asking he tian to get him something is guan shan trusting he tian like he probably never did anyone else before, trusting that he tian is different from what guan shan himself first believed of him, trusting that he tian won’t expect anything in return: guan shan is actually entrusting himself to he tian and saying ‘i believe you won’t hurt and take advantage o me like others did before’ and i really could cry at how much this means for them. the end of the chapter, when guan shan says he is not scared and reaches out to grab he tian’s extended hand to go skip with him, is yet another confirmation of all of this (catch me singing a whole new world from aladdin every time i think about this moment)

ALSO DON’T EVEN LET ME START ON HE TIAN’S REACTION no matter how many times i reread that chapter it never fails to wind me because he tian KNOWS how much it means that guan shan asked him something, he knows that’s guan shan trusting him and taking a step towards him, which is why he tian’s surprise and happiness are so overwhelming for something that at a first glance seems so small but it’s actually not (and guan shan blushing and smacking he tian but not overreacting as much as other times when he tian HUGGED HIM AND BIT HIS NECK?????? IM ABOUT TO BUST A LUNG THANKS)

so yeah, i just really love this moment and especially chapter 284 with my whole heart, while for official arts (which im gonna cover very quickly because this is already way too long, im so sorry) i actually had, if possible, even an harder time to pick my favorite, and the fact that old xian dropped a new one with future tianshan looking so domestic and intimate did not help me AT ALL

im still far from being convinced about my choice, i keep looking at this new one, at the bathtub one, and at the cut off kiss in a frenzy and panicking because I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH, but again, if i really REALLY had to pick, i’d probably go with the bathtub one, if only because it was the first tianshan official art we’ve ever gotten and i still remember just how much the entire fandom lost it when old xian dropped it. im also still so damn fond of it to this day, i just love the intimacy in it and how they are looking at each other so intensely, how they are on the same level and guan shan’s hand is hanging over the tub and touching the water, with that splash of red color in the origami boat and the “wait for them to grow up, there will definitely be a day” caption that goes with it IT STILL MAKES ME SCREAM AS IF I WERE SEEING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME

AND OKAY THAT’S IT. IM DONE. IM SHUTTING UP. I SUBMIT MYSELF TO THE JUDGEMENT OF THE COURT AND IN THE MEAN TIME I’LL GO REREAD ALL THE TIANSHAN CHAPTERS AGAIN AND GIVE THEM ALL THE LOVE THEY DESERVE

[faithful-grigori]

“#Guan would probably answer “I'm always okay” if anyone else was asking, #but since it's his best friend Chase Guan instead opts for a bit of vulnerability in admitting that the answer is probably no, #Same for Raimundo in a way, #Dashi and Omi are obviously lying about always being okay but Ashley is indeed just vibing, #Jack cycles through all three answers but he does so while visibly holding back frustrated tears so,”