#How to update Quicken new version

[willwriteforonepenny]

Soap the toned-down version 💪

A thought was thinked. Thunk? Idk 

@cokoweee cut out what i didn't think the peeps here would vibe with. but ur other anons make me think I prolly would have been fine lol

oh yeah, a shameless self plug is in here too coz I thought it was silly

~

The pot on the stove simmered, onion and garlic sautéing, filling the kitchen with a pleasant aroma. She stirred it absently, looking over her shoulder to the lab where Othello had locked himself all day. She needed a way to get him out. He’d disappeared sometime yesterday and had only emerged to eat dinner and sleep for a few hours at night. 

She’d allowed it at first. He was working on something again. She hadn’t seen him put so much effort into something since a few months ago when she’d needed her wristband updated. 

But this was new.

She’d never seen him quite so devoted to a project in the year he’d been living with him. 

It didn’t matter though. She was going to drag him out no matter what it took. 

Pouring broth and rice into the pot, she turned the burner down to medium to let it simmer. Grabbing butter and herbs she placed them neatly on the counter before marching to the lab. 

~

The door opened with a shudder, purple light flickering from the center of the room. It stopped as soon as the light from the hallway filtered in. Othello shoved something under a blueprint, grabbed a small screwdriver, and began fiddling with a small object.

Idiot. 

“Watcha workin' on?” She asked, hand placed on his shoulder as she began to massage out the knots in his muscles. 

He stiffened slightly, “Nothing! Nothing at all to help you.” He hunched over the table, tail flicking nervously as he covered the blueprints for whatever he was working on. 

“Mmmmmmm” She pressed her hand harder against his shoulder. “Then you won’t mind coming to eat dinner with me?”

“Ken I-” 

She set her chin on his shoulder, turning her head so her mouth was flush with the side of his head. “I’m sure whatever you’re working on can wait.” She murmured, pressing her lips to his neck.

His pulse quickened against her lips as he placed a hand against her head. “I’m sure you’re right.” 

“Thank you.” She smiled, grabbing his tail and yanking him off the chair.

He screeched, throat bobbing as he clicked his jaw, limbs sprawling on the floor as he fell. 

Leaning down to his level, she gripped his hair and lifted his head. “You’re washing your hair after this.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever.” He laughed, waving her away. “But-” 

“I wash your hair, got it.” She said letting go of his hair as she stood up. 

“WHAT THE HE-” His words fell short, muffled by the ground as he slammed into the floor again. “I hate you.” He grumbled. 

“I know.” She trilled, grabbing his tail and dragging him across the floor to the kitchen. 

He clawed desperately at the floor, trying to gain some footing before giving up and going entirely limp. She slowly hauled him across the tile, angry hisses broken by clicks filling the air.

“What are you doing?”

“Mm’s Friday.” He mumbled against the floor. 

She kicked his side, earning a low hiss as he pushed himself off the ground with a huff. 

“Can we swim after this?” He asked, hauling himself onto the counter as he looked at the stove. “Because I yearn for the water Ken. YEARN.” 

“We?” She, feigned shock as she placed the pan back onto the stove and waved him over. “C’mon, you’re helping.” 

“I have no idea how to cook that.” He said, throwing his hands up. 

She rolled her eyes. “And yesterday you forgot where the dishwasher was..” 

“One time! I forget to load the dishwasher ONE time!” He jumped off the counter throwing his hands into the air as he walked over to her. “One time!”

“Mhm. Cut,” She said placing a cutting board, a fillet knife, and a large tilapia in front of him.

“Right then.” He said, chopping off the fins and tail of this fish. “Now what?”

She guided the knife along the long side of the fish. “Now you get the guts out.” She said, reaching in and removing pink masses of flesh. “You can throw those away, can’t make anything with the-” 

He gave a quick thumbs-up as he snatched them off the table swallowing them whole. 

“Gross.” 

“Pretty good actually.” 

“Alright.” She sighed, chopping the head off. 

Turning the fish, she slid the knife down its body, opening it to reveal the meat inside. Carefully gliding the knife across the rib bones, she separated the bones and set them on the table before grabbing a pair of tweezers and extracting the pin bones. 

Othello sat quietly, occasionally twitching from his perch on the counter. “Can I have those?”

“Gotta cook it first.” She mumbled, not looking in his direction. 

“You don’t have to cook bones?” He argued back, plucking them from the plate and stuffing them in his mouth. 

She turned wide-eyed as he crunched. “Genuinely why would you do that.” 

“Good source of calcium.” He shrugged, face twisted in confusion as if he had done something completely normal  

“YOU COULD JUST DRINK MILK?” 

“Milk is gross.” 

“YOU JUST ATE BONES.” 

“And they were very tasty.” He smiled, a small squeaking noise just behind the words. 

She turned, her face brightening. “What was that?” 

He rolled his eyes. “You’ve heard it before.” He paused, a smile creeping over his face. “You should start drinking more milk though. Might help with your height.” 

Whipping around she marched over to him, grabbing his hair and pulling him down to her level. “Von Ryan, one more word out of you about that and I will find a way to drown your stupid turtle head.” Taking a breath she returned to the stove. “ And the weird noise you made? Not usually low enough for me to hear.” Sprinkling the tilapia with salt and pepper she carefully added the fish into the simmering oil. “Can you get started on the butter? Everything you need is in the bowls on the counter. Just mix it and it should be good.”

He nodded, adding the chopped herbs and spices to a small bowl and mashing them together until they became a smooth paste. “Now what?” 

“See that pot on the stove?” She said, pointing to a purple-lidded pan. “ Put that in the oven. Twenty minutes and take it out to stir it before it goes in for another twenty. When it’s done, put some butter and cheese in there.” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

She flipped the fish over, the skin flaking against the spatula. “Anything else you want?  I think this is good for me but you usually eat more.” 

Humming quietly he rummaged through the fridge. “Think I’m good,” he mumbled over his shoulder.

“Mkay, go ahead and set the table then wouldja?”

~

She watched his fork screech along the plate as he struggled to pick up the tilapia. He chased the bite for a few seconds before setting his fork down seizing the fish in his hand and swallowing it whole. 

“You act like you were raised in a sewer.” 

He looked up, wiping a smudge of sauce from his mouth, frowning. “Well I hate to break it to ya but….”

She rolled her eyes, finishing the last few bites of the meal. A flicker of movement caught her eye. “Othello.” She snapped. 

He turned wide-eyed, nail still dug into his arm. 

“Stop scratching at that shed or I’ll get the mittens of shame.” 

“Nooooooooooo. Anything but those!” He screeched, pushing against the table. 

She paused, thinking for a moment before smiling. “Tell me what you’re doing in the lab for so long today and I’ll keep the mittens in the drawer.” 

“I haven’t been working that long.” He protested, tail twittering against the chair. 

“You were gone when I got up and this is the first time I’ve seen you all day.” She said pointedly, a fork aimed at his face. “You’ve been doing this all week.” 

He shrugged “…The roots of invention are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.”

“It’s 7:00! The door’s been locked. I couldn’t get in. Sheldon kept getting in my way.” She pressed, leaning forward. “Don’t bend Aristotle’s quotes to hide.” She added as an afterthought. 

“Aristotle would have wanted me to finish,” he said snottily, snout pointed to the roof as he stood.

“Well, Kendra wanted to see her husband at some point during the day today.” She snapped back, ring slamming against the table as she shot up. 

His eyes widened and he slowly moved his gaze to her. “Well, maybe Kendra’s husband was trying to do something nice for his wife.”

“Kendra had no way of knowing that!” She scowled. “She didn't know anything about why her husband wouldn’t answer her texts.” She paused, taking a breath as she shrunk into herself. “Kendra’s husband should give her at least a little bit of information before he disappears for a week without a word.” She whispered.

He softened and moved closer before whispering back. “But then Kendra’s surprise would be ruined.”

“Whatever.” She groaned. “Just tell me next time ahead of time before you close yourself up in that stupid lab.”  She leaned into his side. “It was just me and Mr. Nubbins all week. He doesn’t exactly talk back. If you would just tell me before you go off and leave me so I can come up with somewhere to go… Or at least people to see.” She gestured vaguely to the empty subway station. “That’d be great because I’d rather go back to the farmhouse for a week with Sagi than stare at these ugly concrete walls.” 

“How was I supposed to know- “ He paused, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her barely above the ground as he hugged her. “Sorry I didn’t-I wasn’t - why didn’t you say something?”

She shrugged against his arms. “You were always gone when I woke up and by the time you did come to bed, you always fell asleep before I could say a word. You’d just assume I was already asleep and lay a hand on my shoulder before you passed out.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be.” 

“I won’t do it again.” He promised, holding her closer. 

She pressed her face harder against his side as his tail curled around her calf. “Why do you do that though?” She asked, words muffled by his plastron. 

“Hmm?”

“The hand thing. It’s every night you have to have your hand on my shoulder or my arm or chest or stomach, my anything.” She looked up, eyes meeting his. “Why?”

He froze, tilting his head slightly. “To make sure it’s real.” He took a deep breath. “Sometimes it feels too good to be true, ya know? After everything that happened. It’s easier to fall asleep at night when I can feel the heat radiating from your body, the pulse beneath your skin, the steady beat of your heart.”

She cocked her head. “If that’s so important to you, why haven’t you spent any time with me this week?”

He grinned. “Because sometimes, making something for someone you love is almost like being there with them. Anticipating their reaction is worth a few days of work.”

“Not for me.” She huffed “I didn’t get any of that. I got left alone.”

“Ken, I’d never leave you alone.” He murmured, pressing his snout to the top of her head “As a matter of fact, you’re coming with me.” He said, a smile creeping into his voice. 

“Huh?”

He hooked an arm around her middle, effortlessly hoisting her up, and began walking to the old convenience store he’d turned into a large pool.

She shifted her weight so it wasn’t around her stomach full of food and let her arms dangle. “I don’t have a bathing suit on.”

“I know.” He laughed, cheekily smiling down at her, tail whipping back and forth. 

“No! No, No NO!  Nope! I just washed these!” She screeched, kicking against him in a futile effort to free herself. 

Her weight shifted ever so slightly as he used his free arm door to the pool opened with a shudder and she flailed, kicking as he brought her closer to the water.

“OTHELLO VON RYAN IF YOU DROP ME IN THERE I WILL MURDER YOU!”

He stopped, looking down to her, a stupid smile on his face.

“What?” She snapped. “Plotting how you’re gonna do it?”

“Nope.” He grinned wider. “I was just thinking that if you killed me that’d be another felon for you.” 

Her eyes widened as her mouth fell open, -“Wait!”

His tail wagged as he set her on the edge of the pool. “A few more of those and you can run for president!” He said snarkily, contorting his face into a smirk and bobbing his head. He raised a finger and straightened up. “They’re eating the dogs. They’re eating the cats.” He pointed his finger to her, “You! Have you ever eaten a pet?”

“I think you need to look at a map.” She mumbled taking off her socks and dipping her feet into the water.

“It was funny!” He protested. 

She shrugged. “It’s funny to make fun of the orange man, not nearly as funny to not know where your wife is from.”

“…I was raised in a sewer.” 

“You were raised in America.” She corrected. 

“I thought you were born here?” 

She nodded. “Born here in New York, but my parents raised me there for as long as they could afford to, back in Indonesia.” 

His face twisted in thought as he slipped into the pool. He looked to her face and she nodded. His eyes lit up as he dove under the water, the walls echoing the squeaks and trills as he swam. 

Smiling softly, she let herself relax, shoulders loosening as she kicked at the water. A streak of green raced beneath the surface, almost faster than she could comprehend. It wasn’t often she came in here with him. She could swim, but it wasn’t exactly a passion of hers.

He swam laps around the bottom of the pool, seemingly exhaustless, before slowly floating to the surface, only his snout visible. She watched for a moment longer to ensure he wouldn’t go back to his crazed swimming. He floated lazily, occasional pockets of air bubbling from his nose, not a hint of movement elsewhere. 

Pulling her shirt over her head, she slid into the pool, the water flowing around her body. The green flash immediately appeared next to her, his eyes just barely above the water. He raised his eyebrows.

She shrugged and held out her arm. His lips quirked up and he grabbed her waist. 

“I thought you just washed those?”

“I took my shirt off.”

He didn’t respond, simply dragging her to the middle of the pool. 

“Aye! I can swim.”

He stopped, turning to her. “If my memory serves me correctly- and it does- tell me that you said that at the lake.” Staring pointedly, he smiled. “And then you nearly drowned.”

She spluttered, words stuck on her tongue.”Uh”

“That’s what I thought.” Letting her waist go he waited for a moment to make sure she stayed afloat before flipping to his back, patting his plastron. She climbed atop, flattening herself against his chest as he floated. 

Latching her arm around his neck, she relaxed completely, letting her body fall limp against his plastron. 

Her foot hung off his side, water lapping against her ankle. “Othello?” She whispered after a moment. 

He hummed, the vibration rumbling against her torso. 

She traced the side of his face, fingers stopping where his ears would be. “You would look nice with earrings.” She murmured.

“Thanks but I don’t-“

She groaned, taking her hand from his face and letting it fall into the water. “Ugh, your earlobes are uncircumcised.”

“I don't have earlobes, Ken.” 

“I’ll find the tape tomorrow.” She said after a beat of silence. 

He laughed, jostling her slightly. “I’ll do whatever you say. You think I’ll look pretty? I’ll try ‘em on for your sake.”

She smiled against his plastron. “I know.”

Time ticked by slowly. There was nothing but the beat of their synchronized heartbeats, gentle waves, and their intertwined bodies. 

“I had a dream last night that I was on a walk and four dudes tried to steal my bag.” He said suddenly. “But I didn’t have any bags so they just took my bō.”

“Thanks for telling me, bud.”

“Anytime” he shrugged.

She paused, frowning slightly.

“I have other dreams too. The other day I dreamt that I was in a pool of jello.” He shuddered. “It was so sticky Ken. So sticky.” 

She shook her head. “It just occurred to me that you might have never had one of the dreams I’ve been having pretty often.” She said, words muffled against his shoulder.

“Which is?”

She paused, finger sweeping arcs over his neck. “Kids.”

“…Oh.” He turned, taking her in his arms as he swam to the edge of the pool deck. He set her down gently, placing his head on her thighs, arms wrapped around her bare waist.

“Not like us, having kids. Like I assume that’s how it happens I guess but- ugh I don’t even think that’s possible.” Curling her torso around his head, she let her body weight fall against him. “But I have dreams where I give birth to a little girl. Ya know? She looks just like me. And I raise her and I love her.” She put her hand around his neck, gently tracing the soft skin of his throat. 

“You’re there too. It’s nice. And it’s not always the same girl. My dreams sort of, rotate I guess? There’s one that looks like me, one that looks like you, and one that’s a mix. Just depends on the night.” She sighed. “But then I wake up and suddenly my picturesque life is gone, and I don’t have a child to hold.” 

She tensed, tightening her grip on his neck. “And it’s so stupid because despite it all I’ve still got you. But my arms have never felt so empty without someone small to hold. And the child I raised for years?” She took a deep breath, her emotions threatening to boil over. “She’s gone, Dee. I don’t even remember her name. But you know what’s even worse? Sometimes I wake from those and you’re not there. You’re off tinkering in the lab and I’m alone.” 

She pulled away, gently lifting his chin before cupping his cheeks. “The bed has never felt colder than when I wake up from those dreams. It makes it feel as if all of this-“ She gestured to the walls of the pool. “Isn’t real. Because I wake up and I’m slammed into a reality where she was nothing more than a figment of my imagination.”

He didn’t say a word, merely looked into her eyes, hugging her closer. “How often do you have those dreams?”

She shrugged, looking towards the middle distance. “It depends.”

“Elaborate.”

“Well, you’ve been pretty much MIA all this week, so I’ve been a little lonely which always makes the dreams more intense.”

“I’m sorry.” He murmured against her chest. “Anything else?”

She shrugged. “Hormones are all outta wack which always makes my dreams more vivid.”

“Oh, ya know what that makes a lot of sense!”

“What’s that supposed to mean!”

“You always get kinda mopey and anxious when you ovulate.” He grinned, his eyebrows waggling. “But sometimes it’s a little more ~fun~” 

“Ugh”

He threw his hands up. “Hey, all I’m saying is that I never initiate anything like that. I leave it up to you.” He shrugged. “That particular time is when you usually go for stuff like tha-"

“Are you tracking my menstrual cycle?” She burst out. “Because if you are, that's actually insane.”

“Not on purpose but we share a bathroom, and.” He paused, “I have a decent understanding of the cycles… so.”

“I’m actually a little scared not gonna lie.”

“April gave me a very in-depth lesson when I was younger after I  found her curled in the fetal position on my bed one day.” He frowned. “Now that I think about it she might have been exaggerating to make us do things for her.”

“Oh, she definitely wasn’t exaggerating. Periods are a living hell. You bleed outta ya coochie for like a week while your uterus decides to punch your insides.”

He pulled away, face twisted. “ I’m gonna go get more stuff.”

“Oh! That’s why you have little heating pads and Midol here!”

His eyes widened. “Did you take those pills? They haven’t been used for like years; they’re most definitely expired.”

“I checked. I threw the pack out but I was kinda wondering.” 

“Yeah, it was because of April. We left stuff for her in the bathroom and we always had a stash of chocolate and ice cream for her.”

She looked to him, “You should, like, I dunno, start doing that again.”

“I’ve already asked Drax to pick some stuff up.”

 She laughed, throwing her hands into the air “Thank you thank you thank you!”

He smiled, resting his face back on her thighs. “ I’m the best. I know. But about that dream.”

She sighed. “Not much to say. Just feels a little weird I guess.” 

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Come to bed?”

He wrapped his other arm around her. “ ‘Course Ken.” 

She ran her fingers through his hair. “I forgot you knotted your hair into an absolute mess!”

He grinned sheepishly as he shrugged. “Shower?”

“Lord knows you need it.” 

He hummed in acknowledgment. “Can we stay like this a bit longer?”

“Yeah.”

She worked her hands around his head, gently untangling the knots he had created as she hummed. She stopped, fingers working through a tangle. 

“Hmmm?” He looked up, eyes locked on hers. 

She laughed, a malicious grin on her face.“So you can boat!”

“THAT'S NOT HOW I WORK!” 

“Explain to me the definition of a boat then.” 

He scowled. “ A small vessel propelled on water by oars, sails, or an engine.” 

“Ah hah!” She lifted one of his arms up. “ You were using your arms to propel! BOOM! A BOAT!”

He pushed her away. “ My arm is not a pole.” 

“Whatever you say, boatman.” 

She screeched as his arm flew out, hooking around her middle and throwing her into the water. Spluttering, she floated to the surface. “Guess I touched a nerve there huh?” 

“I am not a boat, and I am not a pool toy. I am an object not to be reckoned with!”

“Whatever you say bud.” 

He sighed and lifted her out of the pool. “Let's go.” 

“Give me two seconds to grab my stuff and we’ll be right as rain.” 

He hummed in response, hoisting her over his shoulder.

“-Hrk-“ She slapped his shell. “Put me down!”

He didn’t ask another question, simply lowering her dot the ground. “You good?”

She scowled, “We had dinner like thirty minutes ago! No, I am not ‘good’ to be thrown over your shoulder like a bag of flour!”

“Sorry.”

~

The water fell from the shower head, steaming the room. She poured lavender bubble bath into the water, stirring it with her hand. Satisfied with the temperature, she turned off the faucet and went to find Othello. 

He was lying on the floor of their bedroom again, a heating lamp balanced precariously on his dresser. His fingers twitched briefly before he chirped quietly. 

Smiling, she used her foot to kick at his side. 

He startled, hands splaying to the side, his bottom jaw hitting the bottom as he clicked angrily. “How dare you attack me in my hour of sorrow!” 

“That was not an attack.” She kicked his side, “Get up or I’ll drag you there. You can pout about whatever you’re sad about later.” 

Groaning he got to his feet and grabbed the lamp as he shuffled to the bathroom. “I’m taking this.” 

“What happened to your yearning for the water?” She laughed, following him to the next room. 

He grumbled, almost too low for her to hear, and whipped his head around. “Well, I can’t swim in a BATHTUB!” 

She pointed to the tub. “In.” 

He shot her one last look before slinking into the tub. 

Placing the lamp above the tub she patted his head. “Good?” 

“Yea-” He paused, suddenly noticing the bubbles. He frowned, looking up at her. “Why?” 

Rolling her eyes she handed him a bar of soap. “Wash.” 

He ran the bar over his arms twice before handing it back to her. 

“That’s all you’re going to do?” 

Nodding he sunk a bit deeper into the water. “I washed.”

“Absolutely not.” She flicked his head. “You really were born in a sewer you disgusting worm.” 

“We have been over that fact, yes.” He said somberly. 

She threw a bottle of body wash at him. “Lather it between your palms and then lather it into your skin. Deeper clean, lasting scent”  

Nodding slowly he rubbed the soap between his hands until it foamed before working it into his skin. 

She gave a quick thumbs up, grabbing her brush and conditioner from the tub side. Rubbing the conditioner into the worst knots, she yanked her brush through his hair.

“OW!” 

She whacked the top of his head again. “Don’t be dramatic it wasn’t that big of a knot.” 

“You nearly broke my neck!” 

“I could break other things.” 

He turned around, a faint blush creeping up his neck. “Be gentle, it’s my first time.” 

Grabbing his hair she tilted his head back, making eye contact with him. “I’ll do what I want.” 

“I know.” 

She let his hair go and worked her way through the tangles. 

They sat in comfortable silence, the occasional churr breaking the quiet .“Hold on, I gotta get the shower head to get this out of your hair.” 

He didn’t say anything, just watched as she climbed on the tub wall to grab the nozzle. 

She turned the water on, letting it flow over his head when he suddenly moved. 

“Do you want to hear about something?” He didn’t wait for her to respond. “Yeah, you do. Ok, so there's this family, right? And they are like celebrities in their little world.” He waved his arms, tilting his head. “And they all have powers. And there's this whole prophecy telling them that they’re going to save the world. But when they go to save the world, all of them-” 

She cut off his sentence by spraying the shower head into his face.  

“I- Are you trying to waterboard me?” He managed after a moment.

“I need you to stop talking about that for a sec. You’re moving your head and I can’t properly wash it.” 

“Oh.”

“You can keep talking just maybe about something you’re a tad less passionate about.”

“So basically the whole thing is a retelling of Greek stories. Like all of the characters are derived from Greek myths. And while most of them don’t interact in mythology, they do here. And then, the main character's best friend is named after a Greek constellation! But of course the-” He paused, tensing. 

She took her hands off of his head. “I thought you wanted to talk?”

“Well, I can’t exactly form sentences when my head is being used as a gearshift.” 

Patting his shoulder she planted a small kiss to his head. “Good thing we’re done.” 

She climbed back onto the tub wall, hanging the shower head back on the hook. Turning, she hesitated slightly. 

Othello took it as an invitation, grabbing her bare waist and dragging her into the water. 

She gasped. “Wha-”

He hugged her, wrapping his arms around her body and pulling her close. “Hi.” He whispered against her ear. 

“Hi.” She whispered back, leaning into him. 

His hands crept up her beck slowly, savoring each inch of skin they touched. Her shirt pooled around her, his hands forcing the fabric away from her. He crossed his arms against her, left hand on her right shoulder and pulled her close. 

Water dripped nearby, echoing across the bathroom walls. The sound rippled outwards, meshing with the sound of their breathing. A perfect symphony. 

She melted against him, reveling in the closeness of their bodies. How sweet it was to be so close to a lover. 

He tiled her chin up, mouth parted slightly. 

A small nod. 

He lowered his hands to her hips, lifting her barely out of the water, kissing her gently. She leaned closer, her lips pressing into his. 

He faltered, breath hot against her face.  She wrapped her legs around his waist, head resting against his shoulder. 

Lowering his head, he planted feather-light kisses against her neck. She tilted her head, inviting him closer. He moved down her neck, pressing kisses against her skin. Stopping barely above her collarbone, he shifted her to rest higher against him. 

He kissed her like there was nowhere else he’d rather be, lips traveling along her skin. He lowered his head, resting against her chest. 

“I love you, you know that right?” He murmured, breath tickling her wet skin. 

She hooked an arm around his neck. “I know.” 

He stalled. “It’s just that I don’t think you quite understand. I don’t think there's enough words in the world for me to explain just how much you mean to me. I can never tell you enough. There’s always a part of me that wants to give you more.” 

Unhooking her legs, she turned around to face him. “You’ve given me more than I could ever ask for.” 

He shook his head, “It’s not enough.” 

She frowned inching slowly up his lap. “Maybe for you.” She kissed his mouth, hard, hands tangling in his hair as she pressed herself closer. “But you are what I want.” She pressed a kiss to his neck. “I’ll never ask for more.” 

Smiling he placed a hand on the small of her back, the other against her waist, finger rubbing circles against her shoulder. “I love you.” 

She leaned against his chest. “Come to bed?” 

He sighed. “I have to finish something, Ken. " He stuck out his tongue. "Also, you taste like soap right now.” 

She nodded slowly, “You know how it goes in the shower. I’m gonna get ready for bed then.” 

“Wait!” Grabbing her arm, he pulled her back. “I know this isn’t everything you do for a shower. I don't feel as soft as you do. We can finish this and then I’ll finish my project for realsises.” He stopped, leaning back so she could look at his face. “ I can wait until tomorrow though if you want.” 

“We can finish this, but only if you come to bed before one.” She smiled. “I’ll be waiting.” 

He grinned. “I can do that.” 

She watched as he climbed from the tub, water dripping from his hair. Following behind him, she froze as he grabbed her waist. 

He gave her a lopsided smile before pushing her back. 

She gasped as the cold tile slammed against her wet back. A cool breeze coiled around her legs, sliding her arms and spilling over the back of her neck. “Eh?”

His eyes locked onto hers, fingers tracing the outline of her body. He moved closer, breath tickling her shoulder. “I was being serious.” Lifting her hips, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I can wait until tomorrow if you need.” 

Shrugging, she broke away from the wall and pulled on a pair of dry pants. "Whatever works for you. Turn around real quick."

He shut his eyes, and she yanked her wet shirt and bra over her head, pulling one of his discarded hoodies over herself. "Let's go get you all soft and purdy."

~ 

He churred against her skin. “My favorite pillows.”

She swatted at his head. “Hold still, I’m trying to do stuff here.” 

He melted closer to her. Clutching at the pillow behind her back, he eased his hand beneath the pillow to press a hand to her back. 

Opening a bottle of unscented lotion, she mixed it in her hand with the lavender-scented oil until it became a homogeneous mixture. She spread it evenly between her hands before smoothing it over his shell. 

He twitched slightly at the touch, relaxing again as she massaged in into his skin. 

“It smells so good.” He whispered against her chest, a quiet churr hidden beneath the words.

“It smells like me.” 

He nodded. “That’s why it smells so good.” 

There was silence again. Just the warmth of their bodies pressed together as she worked the mixture over his dry shedding skin. 

“Did you know I was meant to be a weapon?” He mumbled quietly, looking up. 

“No?”

He shrugged against her. “Yeah, I was meant to destroy the human race or something to save Yoki or something like that.” 

“You are really bad at your job” She laughed. “I’m not even fighting back or anything and you’ve made no move against me.” 

“Thank you for that.” He grumbled. “Would you rather I fulfill that prophecy?” 

“You and your prophecies. You seriously have got to stop reading that book I think it’s messing with your brain.” 

He smiled. “It was written by a psych major, so it’s supposed to do that.” He looked up again.  “Ok, you gotta tell me a story from your childhood now. 

“Hmmmmm. When I was younger and my dad remarried Jason’s mom I didn’t like him coming into my room because he wasn’t really my brother at that point, he was just some kid. So to keep him out I created a monster named Allen and we were best friends, but he told me that he hated Allen and if Allen ever came in the room he would eat him.”

“Did it work?”

“Yeah. Or at least until our parents found out and then I got in trouble and they told me I couldn't do stuff with Allen to scare him anymore. But Jason was still scared so we had a really big going away party for Allen so Jason would no longer be tormented by what I had created.”

“I am frightened.” 

“Good.” She grabbed the toothbrush by the side of the couch and scrubbed at the loosened skin left over from their bath. 

He melted against her immediately, an odd noise emitting from his throat. 

“What’s that?” 

“I actually had no idea you could hear that.” He replied simply. 

“Ok, but what is it?” 

He shrugged. “Purring.” 

“You’re like a little cat! You and Mister Nubbins need to hang out more!” 

“ I am not going to ‘hang out’ with the nasty street cat you found.” 

She pouted, “But he’s so cuteeeeee.” 

“I prefer you to him.” 

Placing the toothbrush back behind the couch, she patted his shell. “I’m done, I’m gonna go find Mister Nubbins and give him the love you refuse to.” 

“Mmmno.” He tightened his grip on her back. “You’re warm. Stay.” 

“Let me sit up a bit?”

Nodding he pushed himself up and scooted over to let her get up. As soon as she settled in, he wrapped his arm around her thigh, resting his head against it. 

She grabbed her phone from the side table, taking out the camera, and snapping a quick picture. 

K- He told me he was a force to be reckoned with about an hour ago

C -He’s such an idiot sometimes I swear

C- Wanna see Cassy jr? 

K- IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION? 

She smiled at the video of Casey teetering around the farmhouse, Cali hunched over one of Casey’s stuffed animals. The video beneath her blurred and she rubbed at her eyes, the day’s events hitting her slowly

“Tello?”

“Mmmm?”

“I’m two seconds away from falling asleep right now.” 

He sat up, maneuvering her to lay across his legs. “I’ll be right here.”

“I don’t even know why.” She hooked an arm around his waist, curling her head against his plastron as she drifted off. “I didn’t do anything.” 

He ran his hand through her hair. “Sometimes it be like that.” 

~

“ 起きろケン” ( wake up Ken) 

“Eh?” 

He planted a kiss on her head. “Wake up, I finished.” 

She pulled herself off his chest, face twisted in confusion. 

Smiling he put her hand over her eyes. “It’s a surprise, you have to see it all cool.” He explained. 

“Ok?” 

Removing his hands, he revealed a small purple bot. 

“What is that?” 

“Turn around.” 

She complied, twisting so the back of her head was facing him. 

“What do you want?” 

“To go back to bed.” She grumbled. 

He laughed quietly. “Soon, but what kind of hairstyle do you want?”

“I dunno a bun?” 

The bot lit up, light purple before he placed it on the back of her head. Strands of her hair moved, pulling into a messy bun on the middle of her head. 

She turned around, eyes wide. “That’s why your hair was a mess!” 

He nodded sheepishly. “It took a lot of tries to get it right.” 

“Thank you.” She crashed into him, holding him in an embrace. 

“Course.” 

“Bed?” 

He scooped her up bridal style and carried her to their room. Laying her gently on the mattress he went to grab the heating lamp from the bathroom, attaching it above his side of the bed. 

She watched slowly, extending an arm out. 

He set a new blanket down, smoothing it over space before climbing into bed, and curling up next to her. 

“Are you getting sick or something? You’ve been attached by the hip  to that lamp all day. And the added blanket isn't helping your case.” She murmured, pressing herself closer, tracing the faint outline of his backpiece before planting a small kiss along each of the scars. 

He turned, facing her, hooking their ankles together, arm draped over her side. “Mmmmnno. It’s just getting colder so I’m sleepier than usual. And my stupid annual shed came earlier this year so I’m actually dying over here.” 

“Anything I can do to help?”

He shook his head. “It’s fine, just a bit itchy.” He gave her a quick squeeze. “Good night Ken. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

She smiled. “Will you remember where the dishwasher is tomorrow?” 

“One time Kendra.” He mumbled against her hair. “ One time I forget to load the dishwasher. How long are you going to hold that against me?”

“As long as we’re together.” She whispered. 

“Forever then.” He whispered back, breath tickling the top of her hair. 

She placed her head against his carapace, ear placed above his heart, listening to the constant rhythm. “Forever,”

~

if you get any of my references I LOVE YOU

i'm gonna go eat popcorn now I think

@crowleys-pockets ( you can read this one before I show you the other one tmmr. DON'T LOOK AT THE OTHER DOC TILL I'M AT UR HOUSE)

The day I get 100 notes on any of my fics is the day I start writing kendratello 🥵🤤😩 scenes by the way

JOKIN jokin jokin I’m jokin!

Maybe

[hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog]

Just Breathe- Series

Good evening everyone! here is the second chapter in the Just Breathe Series. This series was inspired/prompted by the ask that was submitted by @deans-spinster-witch to read the first chapter click here for the original post. @deans-spinster-witch was gracious enough to lend her skills in ruffing out a few of the mishaps in chapter one, and I will post that updated version at some point and link it, and did the same for this second chapter. 

Here is the original ask for a refresher.

Ask from @deans-spinster-witch:

Tell me about Dean falling in love with a girl who has long covid - maybe they met when he saved her from a monster and they became friends, she occasionally helps him with research or patches him up if he gets hurt.  He doesn’t hear from her for a while, and when he goes to check on her, he finds out she’s in the hospital with Covid - a monster he can’t save her from.  He realizes he loves her, but may lose her.  After she gets out he keeps coming to check on her because he knows she tires easily/has trouble breathing at times.

This second chapter is going to start with a bit of time jump, but don’t worry we got flashback a plenty to fill in the gaps. Multi POV between the main character, Y/N, and Dean Winchester, mentions of Sam Winchester. This is angst, sweet/fluffy, swearing, implied sexy times. Oh and word count is at 7,250-ish, sorry but not sorry. 

Sadly the Winchesters are not mine, but the story is so please don’t steal and post as your own. But likes, reblog, and comments are always welcome. As always any mistakes like grammar, spelling, function is also all mine, so be kind when pointing it out, I do my best. 

I would like to know if you like this chapter would you want to see a third chapter? or maybe a prequel to answer any questions you might have regarding Y/N and Dean? Let me know. 

Thank you again for reading, and you would like to send me a prompted or story idea, send it my way. 

Happy Reading

Time Jump to 4 months ahead. 

Y/N POV

Shit, Shit, Shit! Where the hell are my keys! You yell out in frustration as you move frantically around your house, looking for the one thing that you need to get to your appointment on time. Tossing the pillows from the couch, goddamn it! You were never like this, ever since COVID, your short term memory has been foggy to put it nicely. Resorting to keeping both a paper list and digital one on your phone, is your new normal. Walking into a room to do something, and instantly forgetting what you came for. Case in point, not remembering where you put your goddamn keys! 

You hate running late, you pride yourself on always being early to things, and this appointment was an important one. Walking into the kitchen, you start to look in the not so obvious places. Opening up the fridge, nope not in there. Pull open the freezer next, yep there they are, right next to the pint of mint chip ice cream that you just had to have yesterday at like 11 pm. Only to then be disappointed that you now can’t stand the taste of your once favorite ice cream, fuck you COVID! 

Ugh, seriously, you are going to be the death of me, you think. Grabbing your keys, you push the freezer door closed, and head off to the hospital for your fourth month CT scan. Locking the door behind you, the crisp air of fall hits you. God how you don’t want winter to come any sooner then it has too. Winters in Michigan can be brutal, especially on the coast line. Pulling your light jacket close to you, you quicken your pace and get into your jeep to start up the car quickly, and pull out of the driveway. Not noticing the very familiar black impala parked about three houses down. 

****

You make it with time to spare, as you wait in the waiting room after checking in, you try your best to calm yourself. Fiddling with your phone, you find that scrolling through Instagram is getting you nowhere and your emails have been radio silent for months now. Exhausted, you put your phone away, you look around the room. For mid morning it's not too busy, the daytime talkshow mixes in with the white noise of the hospital. It's so beige, beige carpet, walls, even the uncomfortable furniture is beige. It makes sense, given it's a hospital; money should be spent on actual patient care, not on the latest interior furnishings., But still, at least get some interesting artwork. Looking to the piece across from you: an abstract painting of paint strokes in grays, blues, and you guessed  it, beige.

“Ms. Moore?” The nurse's voice pulls you from your thoughts, and you look up to see her standing at the entryway in blue scrubs, dark brown hair pulled back, with a kind smile. 

“Yep” you reply to her, but you're sure she would have guessed that was you, as your head snapped at attention when your name was called. “Hi”, giving her a smile as you walk towards her.

“Hi,” she replies, “can you tell me your last name and date of birth?” She starts walking down the hallway, looking at your chart, the path was second nature for her. You rattle off your last name and birthday for her, then she stops just off from an open doorway, “right in here.” Letting you walk in first.

She takes a seat at a desk, swiping her badge to start keying in some information. “So, here for your four month CT scan.” she states, but it also feels like a question.

“Umm, yeah, it's my second one.” You reply, still getting used to coming to the doctor more than twice a year. You only ever went if you were feeling really sick. 

“Looks like the first one was clean, but we like to do a few in close succession when someone has had a severe case of covid.” she explains, her eyes are kind, and reassuring, “I am sure this one will be just as good, and then hopefully the doctor will schedule them farther apart.”

She must see the worry on your face. Not sure how to respond, you just nod your head. She takes your vitals, asks if anything else has changed since your last visit, and if there were any other concerns you wanted to discuss today. “No, I don’t think so.” 

Typing a few more things in the computer, and then swapping her badge again to lock the computer. “I am surprised your brother is not here with you today.” 

“What?” You're taken aback by this, brother, does she mean Dean? How would she know about him? Was it in your chart? You don’t remember adding him as your emergency contact.

She can tell you are put off by this. “Sorry, I should have re-introduced myself. I was your nurse when you were in here with covid.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, I should have…”

“No, it's fine. Honestly, I wouldn’t expect you to remember me.”

Thinking back to that time, she does seem familiar now, “well it's nice to see you again…” struggling to remember her name quickly, but not inconspicuously looking at her badge, “Bridget.” This gets a laugh out of her, and you do the same. “I was happy to see your name on the schedule today, and I thought you were the one with the very cute, and very attentive brother. That's why I am surprised he is not here.”

Ah yes, Dean, not being here. That is a long, long story that you're sure she does not want, nor has the time to hear right now. You give her a forceful smile, “Yeah, Dean, he has something today, so just me.”

Her smart watch goes off, and she looks at the time, “well we should get you down to CT. After your scan, we will come back here and the doctor will be with you to go over the results.” She gets up, and you follow. 

****

The wait feels like forever, and in the small exam room with nothing to look at but an exam table -and beige walls - you were lost in your head. Worrying about what if they found something, what if you developed lesions, or anything that could compromise your health. God, how you wish Dean was here, or even Sam. Someone to hold your hand and distract you from the impending doom and dark thoughts that were creeping in. Dean would distract you with lame jokes, or stories about how Sammy was terrified of doctors. He would get you to smile anyway he could, probably go so far and raid the supplies of tongue depressors and cotton balls, saying something like “they don’t need all of them, do they?”

“Ms. Moore, how are we today?” The doctor's voice breaks up your fleeting thoughts of Dean, as if he was right there, but as soon as the man in the white coat opens the door and steps through, Dean disappears. 

“Umm, good, at least I hope so.” You reply, wanting to keep the pleasantries short, let get to the point so you can get out of here. 

He takes a look over the file, and then pulls up the scans on the computer. He seems to be taking forever, did he not look at them beforehand! Come on man just tell me already! “Everything looks good, I am not seeing any growth of lesions or scar tissue from the tube.”

Relife floods your body, letting out a sight, “oh that great news, so I am done with coming in?” you hope so, wanting to never see this place again, at least for a while. 

He turns to face you, his dark brown eyes are kind, but you can tell right away he is not going to give you the answer you want. “Not yet, but we can push them to every six months.”

Okay, twice a year, I guess that is a compromise you can take, “okay, so I will see you in the spring.” Starting to get up to leave, but he stops you.

“In two months, we can start doing six month visits. I want to see you again one more time in two months. If that scan is clean then we push them to six month visits.” He explains. 

You sit back down in defeat, you're going to be back here in two months, really! You know you can’t take your frustration out on him, he is just looking out for your health and doesn’t want to miss anything. “Okay.” Slightly defeated, wanting nothing more than to curl up on the couch, and sleep for the next two months away. 

Giving your hands a reassuring pat, “two months will fly by I promise. Is there anything else you want to discuss today? Still having some memory issues?”

You know that you should be honest with him, that you think you have gotten worse since Dean left, but honestly are you sure? He did so much for you in that short time, maybe, you were like this before, and he just didn’t point it out. Plus you just wanted to go home, what really could he do anyways? “Nothing new on that. I think I just need to get back to my normal routine and I will be fine.” 

Getting up from his chair, “Sounds good. I will send Bridget back in, she will get you set up for your next appointment. We will see you in two months. Have a good day.” shutting the door behind him. You're back alone in that quiet room.

Alone, you're alone, once again. You can feel the panic start to creep in. Alone, and even though the scan was good, he still wants you to come back. Alone, no one to hold your hand, no one to make stupid jokes. You did this to yourself, you know that, he would have stayed, you pushed him…

“Alright, Doctor says two months humm.” Bridget's voice breaks through. It's light and airy. Trying to make the situation as pleasant as possible. As soon as she sits down, she can tell you're not alright, “Hey, what's wrong?” She asks, setting down the chart, and focusing on you.

Feeling a tear run down your cheek, fuck why are you crying.  “Umm…it's nothing….yeah two months…” You take a ragged breath, pushing all your emotions down, down, down, to the deepest part of your soul where they should always live. You can cry when you get home. Suck it up for two more minutes!

“Hey, talk to me, what’s going on.” She is not letting you wash this away, she grabs the tissue box, and holds it out for you to pull a couple out of the box. “Your scan was clean, the doctor is just being cautious that's all.” 

“I know it's just…I really wish he was here….”

“Dean,” she replies, filling in the blanks. You nod at this, and wipe your eyes and face. “I am sure if you talk to him, he will come to the next appointment.”

Oh if she only knew, but you couldn’t lay this all out on a complete stranger. Again she just wants to do her job, and move on to the next patient, you're taking up too much of her time. “I am sure you're right.” Taking a few ragged breaths. 

She gives you a reassuring smile, and turns to the computer to book your appointment, reminding you that you can always change it to accommodate if Dean can’t make it this time. “I could tell he really cares for you. Even in the short time I saw him, he wouldn’t leave your side for anything. Practically had to kick him out every night when visiting hours were over.” Trying to make the situation light, and hopefully get a smile back on your face. 

Giving her a short laugh, “yeah that sounds like Dean.” You can see it, him waiting until the last possible second. A security guard to escort him out.

Both of you get up, and she walks you to the door, and down the hall towards the exit. Seeing you coming back around, she decides to let you in on a little secret. Stopping you before opening up the door to the waiting room she leans in slightly. “Just between you and me, I knew he wasn’t your brother.”

“What….I mean…no he is….” You stammer out, hoping that she wasn’t going to bust you for…something, you're not sure? But still not wanting to get into trouble.

“Don’t worry dear, it's fine.” She quickly replies, trying to calm your fears. 

You let out a sigh of relief, “How did you know?”

“Two things. One he just pulled on my heartstrings so much that I figured what would be the harm in him sticking around, even if he wasn’t related. Plus, if I was ever lucky enough to have a guy look at me the way he did to you, I would want him to be by my side every second.”

Her smile is contagious, and although you're still doubting that what you feel for Dean would ever be reciprocated, now is not the time to hash it out with her. “What was the second?”

“I may have heard him one night on the phone with someone, saying he couldn’t lose you, that he needed to tell you that he was in love with you.'' She says matter of factly, pushing the door open and waiting for you to walk through. 

*******

Dean POV

He watches as she pulls into the driveway and shuts off the car. He had followed her from a safe distance from the hospital to the store, and then back to her house. She didn’t notice once, even though he had taught her in the past how to spot a tail. Did she get bad news? Maybe it's the COVID that is affecting her hunter instincts? Fuck, if thats the case, what else could she be missing? Is it stupid and desperate of him to be following her, and watching from a distance? Maybe, but also not, if she is not noticing simple things like him following her. What if  Lucifer, or one of his henchmen, came after her? Anxiety just thinking of irrational attacks on you causes his chest to tighten as he pulls back into the parking spot a few houses down.

He should be a man and go up to you, talk to you, and see you face to face. He missed you, your smile, your laugh - fuck, everything about you. He knows he screwed up. As soon as he did what he did, he wished he could have taken it back, but the damage was done. He kept saying it was for the best, that you would forgive him, and move on. But you can’t forgive him unless he stops being a little stalker and owns up to what he did.

Flashback to the night of the big blowup. Dean POV

Standing there, staring down the closed door, you wish right now you had superpowers to see through the door and see if she’s alright. Hell, you don’t need to be a superhero to know she’s not. You're just wondering what brought this on. “Y/N, come on, talk to me” you plead, softly knocking on the door. “I am sorry…I don’t mean to…” your rambling stops when you hear soft sobs from the otherside of the door. 

“Just go away Dean!” She yells between sobs. “I can’t breathe with you here… I can’t…”

You grab the door knob, fear and pressure weighing down on you to get to her, to hold her.  Most importantly, to make her understand that your overbearing protectiveness is coming from a place of needing to be in control, that you care for her, and need to protect her “Y/N, please just open the door, let's talk? I promise I will ease up, I can do better.”

You can hear her give a small laugh at that, you're about to question her on this when your phone goes off. Screw it, let it go to voicemail, she is more important than anything else. “I am not giving up on you, on us. You have to come out eventually.” 

Your phone stops ringing for a second and then starts back up again. What the Hell? “You should answer that, Dean.” She states without hesitation, but  with an undertone of sadness. 

Letting out a sigh, you turn around. “Fine if you want to talk via phone, fine.” Walking away from her door into the living room, you pick up your phone from the coffee table. To your surprise it's not her name across the screen, but Sam’s. “What?” you bark out in frustration, not really wanting to talk with him right now. 

“Dean, back off.” Sam says matter of factly. No pleasantries, just straight to the point. 

“She called you? Why?” Confused as to why she is including Sam on this.

“She just needs some space, Dean, I think it's time you come back. Jody called and…” Sam calmly says, trying his best to diffuse the situation from the other side of the country. 

“No, Sam, I am not leaving her! I can’t lose her again, I won’t… I love her, man…”

Your back is to the hallway, so you don’t notice Y/N standing there, listening, hearing  what you should be confessing to her and not your brother. You don’t see her wondering why can’t you just say what you feel? Why can’t you just let down your guard with her and tell her?

*****

The slamming of a trunk pulls Dean back to the present, and he looks up to see you carrying an arm load of groceries. Of course you would do it in one trip. He shakes his head, remembering that you never like to take more than one trip from the car to the house. Your logic always being, as you told him, I am a single girl, I can do it in one go. He watched as you held the screen door open with your butt, as you switched all the bags to one arm so you could open the door with the other. Looking away once you're inside, Dean notices it’s about 20 minutes since you pulled in the driveway. Had you been sitting there this whole time? You have only gone to the hospital and store, but still your energy must not be back to what it used to be. 

Maybe he should check, make sure you're doing okay. Look in the window really quick. Getting out of the car and walking the short distance, he looks over to your car to see that you still had some toilet paper and paper towels in the back seat. Knowing that you would be back, he decides to help you out. Opening up the door as quietly as possible he grabs the items, and takes them up to the door. Putting them in between the screen door and main door, he turns around to leave.

His eyes look in the kitchen window, to see you putting away your items. Your back is to him, so you don’t notice. You seem lost in your own world, on auto pilot putting things away. Dean takes a moment to appreciate that he can see you up close. His eyes scan the room, noticing the post-it notes all over. He never remembers you having so many of them before. He can’t read what they say, but they are everywhere; on the cabinets, counter tops, table, Was your memory getting worse? 

Panic, and anger - at himself more than anything -  sets in.

*******

Y/N POV

“I love her Sam, I am in love with her…I can’t…no I won’t lose her, I need to tell her how I feel…”

“You don’t love me, Winchester” your voice stops Dean from rambling on the lies that you know, in the end, he doesn’t mean.

Dean turns to see you standing there, your eyes red from crying. But you're not crying now; no, now you  look  pissed, like you want to kick some ass - and Dean’s is the closest one. “Got to go Sam.” Dean quickly says, ending the call. “What do you mean I don’t love you. Of course I do, I….”

You hold up a hand, and stop Dean from saying anything more. “No, you don’t. People like me, we don’t have sexy knights to save us. To fall in love with us, to whisk us away, and want to play house with.” Determine to get this all out, to get your point across and make him accept reality. 

“We are your best friend, the girl you call on Friday nights when your date falls through, or you strike out with the bartender. We are your ‘wing woman’, we pick you up, dust you off, and send you back out into the world. We build your confidence up, while we sit on the sidelines alone.”

“Y/N that's not true…” Dean starts to protest.

“Let me finish, I have to get this out.” taking a breath, you can see he’s hurt, that he wants to argue, to explain his side. “Yes, you care for me, but you don’t love me, and you're not In love with me. You're in love with this idea of a life outside of hunting, you love the idea of playing house.” Closing the gap between you, even though you know better than to get  this close to him. You're playing with fire, but you're desperate to feel him. 

“You're right, I am in love with the idea of an apple pie life. But I want that life with you, no one else.” Dean interjects before you can shut him down, shut down what is going on between you two before it can even start. 

Taking a chance, he grabs your hand and brings it up to his chest and places it over his heart. “Can’t you feel my heart? It’s racing for you. It always has, it always will.”

 Feeling the softness of the white t-shirt between your fingers, you take a breath and inhale the smell of him. “Sooner or later we both know this won’t be enough, that I won’t be enough.” You talk to his chest, not wanting or able to look him in the eye, your voice low and shaky. “You're going to leave me, sideline me, and only blow through town when you need something.”

“That's not true! You have always wanted your own life. I always wanted to protect you as much as I could. The things that Sam and I deal with, the people and monsters we hunt, if anything ever happens…you are a vulnerability that they will exploit. I know it.” 

“Maybe. Even more reason why you have to go…and never come back…” Glancing up to see the gut punch you just delivered written on his face. You try to take a step back.

Dean won’t let you go, bringing a hand around your waist, holding you. “What?! No! I won’t cut you out of my life. I now know I was stupid for ever doing that. For letting you live alone, or at the very least, not in the same state as the bunker.” He practically commands, with no hesitation. How could you think he would ever agree to this?   

“Y/N, I need you in my life. You can’t deny that there is something between us.” His words are sweet, his voice is low as he leans into you. His breath fans over your face, as his hands caress your cheek. “Please, I need you.” 

His lips are so close to yours, that if you lean ever so slightly, you would finally know how soft his lips are. Would they fulfill your fantasies? God, maybe you should live in this fantasy for as long as you can, screw being logical. Let it be a future Y/N problem, present Y/N wants to know what it's like to be wanted by Dean Winchester. “I…Dean…”

*******

 Y/N and Dean POV 

“Dean, what are you doing here?” Your voice pulls him from the memory of that night, and he looks to see you standing at the door, one hand holding open the screen door. 

Oh fuck, well, this wasn’t the plan at all. Giving her a smile, “Hey Y/N, I was in the neighborhood…thought I would…”

“So you're stalking me now?”

“Hehe, no, I said I was in the neighborhood, wanted to see how you are…you look good.” He says, letting his eyes look at you. You did look good, but tired, your eyes didn’t shine like they normally did before; the spark, the hint of twinkle is gone.

“Liar, I look like shit, but thanks.” You quip, knowing that you don’t look good at all. Wearing a ratty hoodie and jeans, you opted for comfort over trying to impress anyone. “Well, thanks for stopping by.” You say, giving him a fake smile and turning to walk back in the house. 

“Umm…Y/N, I could, I mean Sam could use your help with something, he knew I was going to be passing through and wanted me to stop by and ask for some help.” Quickly thinking on his feet, he creates an excuse. He didn’t want to leave yet, this is the most he has talked to you since that night. He would be damned if he was going to let you leave so soon. 

You turn back to look at Dean, trying to gauge if he was telling the truth or not. Sam had your number, and you were still speaking to the younger Winchester - he didn’t break your heart and live up to everything you knew would happen. “Why didn’t he call me?” You question, wanting to make Dean work for it. He wasn’t getting in that easy!

He takes a few steps towards you, “well, like I said, he knew I was in the area.” One step lower from you, his green eyes lock with yours, silently pleading with you to let him in. “He wanted me to pick up a lore book on Pixies, and said you had a copy that we don't have in the library.”

“Fine, come in. I will go grab it.” You reply, turning away from him, letting him catch the door before it slams in his face. 

Dean shucks off his jacket and boots, and looks around while you go back to find the book. He can now see the post-its in detail, reminding you where your keys, jacket, bag should be put. Making his way to the kitchen, cabinets are labeled with what should be in them: dry food, dishes, silverware. Daily schedule on the fridge. “Having fun snooping?” Your sarcastic tone has him turning on his heels to see you standing in the doorway with a book in hand. 

“Umm…sorry…” he says sheepishly, hating  that he got caught. He can see you're not amused, and he is really going to have to lay on the charm to win you back. 

“Yeah, well at least I am keeping the post-it company in business. Here is the book.” You say handing it to him.

Dean takes it, and looks at it, giving it a nod, “Thanks, yep this is it.” 

“Okay, well, you better get going, since Sam is in ‘desperate’ need of it and all.” Your voice is flat, not in the mood to deal with him. “You know where the door is.” You add, just turning that knife even deeper. 

“Look, Y/N can we talk?” Dean can tell you're not your usual self, and he really wants to get you back.

“Oh now you want to talk? You sure as hell didn’t want to talk for four months. Didn’t want to talk when you woke up the next morning regretting that kiss, regretting what we said to each other, the promises you made.” You snap at him, the frustration building in you. Why does it always have to be on his time? God you were just getting over him, right?

“I know. I was a jerk, it was a dick move, and I am sorry.”

“You're sorry, really?That's all you have to say?” Turning away from him, just looking at him and his sad puppy dog face, you want to smack him. Fuck, you want to hit yourself for being an idiot that night. 

******

“Dean…please…I…” You have to keep strong, tell him to go, you know this won’t end well.

“Please Y/N, You're the only good thing I have in this world, I can’t lose you.” Not waiting for a reply, his lips find yours. 

They're soft, perfect, molded to fit yours, and gentle, Dean doesn’t force his way. Pulling away, when your lungs start to burn,you lock eyes with him. Lust blown, his lips slightly pink. No words are exchanged, you silently say everything you need to him at that moment, and he seems to understand. Bringing his hands to cup your face, he goes back in to kiss you more, letting his tongue swipe across your lips. You allow his tongue to dance with yours. 

Fumbling your way to the couch, Dean falls back first, and you do your best not to land on top of him completely, giggling at the state you're both in. Dean looks up at you, tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear, and looking up at you lovingly, “God, I love that laugh of yours.” He says, pulling you down on him. Letting you feel what you're doing to him. 

“Dean, I have to be crushing you.” You protest, trying your best but failing at getting out of the vice grip Dean has on your hips. 

“Nope, You're staying right here.” He says, as he starts to pepper kisses down your neck. 

******

“Dean, I begged you to leave! I knew you never wanted me! And yet like an idiot, I fell for your charm and under your spell.” You grit out, turning on your heels and walking away from him. Fuck, you can’t keep doing this! 

“I did ... .I do ...Y/N look at me” Dean pleads, setting the book down he follows you to the living room, grabbing your hand. “Please, let me explain.”

Turning around, you pull your hand back. His touch, like fire, like touching a hot pan. “You know, I thought for a split second you were telling me the truth. That you wanted me like I have always wanted you.” Pain radiates through you, your voice seems to be stuck behind a lump forming in your throat. God, you want to smack him, but at the same time, kiss him.

Dean’s speechless, trying to work out how best to tell you what he was thinking in that split second when he woke up in your arms that day. For one second he felt total bliss, that everything was falling into place; then reality of his life came back into focus.

“I know, it wasn’t my finest hour.”

You laugh at this, you think!? “What is there to explain? We kissed, had a pretty good makeout, groped each other over and under our clothes, but then we both agreed to take it slow. Right?” You ask for confirmation, even though you remember it all too well.

“Yes, but, Y/N, if you just let me…” Dean stumbles to explain.

“But then, I wake up the next morning alone on the couch with a note that says, ‘Hey, Y/N, Sorry, Sammy needs me, will check in soon.’”

The space between you two is nonexistent. You're trying to find anything in those green eyes of his that will refute anything you just said. Anything to explain that you're overreacting, but there is nothing. He has no rebuttal, because it's all true. He walked out on you, like his father did to him and Sam all the time. The worst part was, Dean had Sam to lean on; you were left with no one.

“Like I said, not my finest hour…” he mumbles out.

“Not your goddamn finest hour?ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!” you yell, slamming your fists into his chest and pushing him away.  It does nothing to move him, and takes all your energy out of you. You stumble a bit, then lean back and sit on the arm of the couch.

“Hey, Y/N, please, calm down.'' His voice is heavy with concern, and he tries to help you up so you can sit on the couch.

“Don’t…touch…me…” You cough out. Needing water, you look to find your water bottle is nowhere. “Fuck….I…” You keep coughing, and try to get up.

“Water?” Dean questions. You nod, and try to get back up. “No, sit, I will go get it.” He tells you and quickly goes to the kitchen, and is back with a glass of water in seconds.

You down about half, the cool water helps calm you and your coughing fits. “Thanks” you mumble, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that he ‘saved you again.’ You don’t look at him as you sit down the glass and avoid him at all costs.

Dean takes this as his opportunity to tell you his side. Sitting on the coffee table so he has direct eye contact with you, he reaches for your hand. “Please, Y/N, I am truly sorry. I know I was a jerk for leaving you like that, and for never calling or coming back.”

You stare him down, not  giving him an out on this one. “Go on. You will hear no objection from me on this one.” You reply.

Dean lets out a small sigh that clearly said fuck, alright here we go. “I was fucking scared, okay? I woke up, saw you in my arms, and for a split second I felt like I was home. My first thought was, this is perfection. No monster, no running the roads, crappy dinner food, and sketchy motels.” 

He leans towards you, putting a hand on your knee, and lightly runs his hands up and gives you a knowing smile. “The perfect, sexy, beautiful, girl in my arms, that I can’t wait to wake up and…”

You stop his hand from getting too close to what both you and him want to touch. “Not so fast  Winchester.” Knowing if he keeps going, you are definitely going to end up in a very compromising position. “No, I bet your first thought was, oh fuck what the hell did I do, and how the hell do I get out of it.”

“No, will you let me talk?. God, I see COVID can take your memory, but not your self-hatred or inability to butt in.” 

You hold your hands up in a fake defense, “Please go on.” You quip back, leaning back into the couch. 

Dean shakes his head, at least you’re sassing back, that is a good sign. “I got up, was going to start coffee for us, and while I was in the kitchen, Sam did call…

*******

“Hey Sammy,”

“How’s everything Dean, you kinda left me hanging? Did you and Y/N talk?” Sam asks, feeling like a schoolgirl catching up on the latest gossip between you too.

Dean takes a quick peek into the living room to make sure you're still asleep. “Yeah, everything is good. We talked and I think we are going to take things slow.” Dean explains, as he starts to make the coffee, he recounts most of the conversation between you two. Not all the details though, he wants to keep the really good stuff just for him. 

Sam lets out a sigh, “That's good, I am happy for you both. But now I hate to ask.”

“What is it?”

“Look, I know you still want to take some time, until Y/N is fully healed, but Jody could really use your help. There is something in South Dakota that is running amuck, and she’s worried that Claire is going to try and tackle it herself.”

Oh Claire, how she reminds Dean of himself sometimes, headstrong and just ready to fight anything that wasn’t human. She is a good hunter, but she is young. “Umm…yeah…I am sure I can make something work….”

“Thanks Dean, I am sure it will only be a day or two, and then you can get back to Y/N. I will call Jody and tell her to expect you.” Sam says.

Saying their goodbyes, Dean hangs up the phone, and has to hold back from throwing it across the room in anger. Fuck! Not two seconds, and he’s already been pulled back into the madness. How is he going to explain this to her? She won’t believe him, she will be heartbroken again, think it's her fault, and say that she told him. 

Seeing no other solution - or maybe it was that he didn’t want to wake you and see that pain in your eyes - he takes the cowardly way out. 

*****

“So you went to help Jody, a friend of mine. And didn’t think I would understand?” You question him, after he explains the conversation between him and Sam. 

“Yes…I guess I figure you would just see it as an excuse I came up with to leave you. Which it wasn’t, by the way.”

“But you said you would call, check in. But you didn’t! You couldn’t have been helping Jody this whole time? And even if you were, could you still have called!”

“I wanted to, but as I was driving away, I kept thinking about what you said, that you felt like an afterthought, that I blow through town whenever I need you. Take what I need and leave you with nothing.”

“So you figure, prove me right by ghosting me? Well, thanks Winchester, real fun.” You spit sarcastically, giving his knee a not-so-playful slap and getting up from the couch. “The door is still where you left it, you can see yourself out.” Fucking asshole. I need to get those locks changed tomorrow. You think, making your way to the kitchen to get some more water, to do anything but sit there and keep listening to him.

“Y/N, please. I am sorry, you're not an afterthought. The more that I kept driving, and the longer I pushed off calling you, it made it harder to call you. Because I knew as soon as I did I would lose you.”

“Funny, because the second you left, you lost me Dean. God, I woke up that morning and was devastated. Do you know how much I hate feeling like that?” Not needing him to answer, you lean up against the counter crossing your arms around yourself. Feeling the tears start to fall, you might as well go all the way. 

“You know, I never wanted to be that girl, who cried over a guy, who refused to do anything but sleep on that goddamn couch for two months because it was the last place I felt safe, and whole, and seen. I could still smell you on the pillows and blanket.” 

Taking a breath, you run your hands over your face. Taking another ragged breath, you work up the courage to tell him what you know he should know, but that you're scared to say out loud. “But the thing I hate the most, the one thing that makes me want to scream…is that I still love you.” You laugh at this. Its fucking absurd. Trying your best  to stifle your laughter, but it keeps bubbling out of you in frustration and disbelief 

Dean’s not sure how to react. On the one hand, you say that you still love him, but on the other hand your laughing like the fucking Joker. “Being in love with me is…funny?” he tentatively asks. Taking a few steps towards you, but not closing the distance. 

Wiping the tears from your face, you admit quietly, “yes, because I know, no matter what, I will always let you back in. I guess I am just a masochist that way. I would rather have you in my life, and be heartbroken, than to not have you and still be heartbroken.”

Shaking your head, in disbelief that you actually said those words out loud, and to Dean no less. You look up to see him watching you, waiting. “God I am pathetic…you really should not have saved me that night…” you mumble the last part to yourself. Pushing yourself off the counter, you turn away from him, to straighten up the non-existent mess on the counter. Shit, should not have said that. 

“GOD DAMN IT Y/N!” Dean’s yell booms, causing you to turn around to see Dean seething with rage.    Taking the last few steps towards you, he pulls you into a vice grip of a hold. “Don’t you ever say that again, do you hear me? Do you?” He commands, shaking with hurt and pain. 

He’s not angry at you, he's angry that you don’t understand how much you mean to him. That you hold your life as something subpar. Pulling away slightly, he lets go so he can hold your face in his hands. “Please don’t ever think or say that I shouldn’t have saved you that night.” His green eyes, glassy with tears about to be shed, bore into yours. “You are the only good thing in my life, and I know I have a lot of work to do to gain your trust back, and that my life is messy and chaotic, but please…please….don’t ever think I would regret saving you that night.”

You nod your head in response. “Okay” you whisper, “I promise.” You were taken aback by his outburst; Dean has never raised his voice to you, or looked this broken. Then again, you’ve never been this broken, or joked about that night before either. It was a topic that neither of you ever really discussed, more of an unspoken bond between you two.

Relief seems to wash over him. His hands fall from your face, his arms wrapping them around your waist, not wanting to leave the closeness of you. “I know I have a lot of work to do, and this may be pushing my luck. But can I kiss you?” Giving you a half smile, hoping that will seal the deal.

“Fuck, there’s that Winchester charm,” you joke, smirking as well. Screw it, it's been four months without those lips. You lean in and kiss him. Letting your lips dance with his for a bit, you pull back, “just as good and I remember.” you say cheekily.

“So, should we go make some new memories on that couch of yours?” Dean gives you a wink, walking backwards towards the living room, his arms still around yours.

You have no choice but to follow him, nodding. You know that you have a lot of work to do getting over your own insecurities and self doubt that Dean will get tired of you, or that he will regret being with you. You need to have faith in him, and in yourself, that you are worthy of a happy life with him; whatever that looks like.

[merp0515]

Path to Isolation

Mirror what's this thing I see?

Who is staring back at me?

A stranger to my heart has filled my mind

Mirror

Help me

Who am I? -"Path to Isolation" by Casey Williams

(Lol I regret nothing! XD Also enjoy some mini angst fic!)

Four never really told anyone but every now and then he'd have an reoccurring nightmare about the old castle that always had him waking up in cold sweat and unable to sleep. The nightmare itself has gotten creative the more he thought about it over time. It even got to the point where it starts to haunt him during the day, causing him to snap himself out of the trance and reminding himself that it's only a dream. SMG3, Meggy, and Mario had kept a close eye on him after asking him if he's alright to which he responds with "I'm fine."

SMG4 was walking around his castle today, staying clear from his room to avoid another PTSD episode of the P E R F E C T incident. He tried focusing his thoughts on other things. Positive moments that stood out to him. He smiled remembering the time he first got the showgrounds after an intense auction, how Meggy and Tari saved everyone from One Shot Wren and his messed up West, and helping 3 get his notebook back from Mario and Marty. He stopped for a moment and noticed that someone hung a photo of the updated version of himself at the new castle. With the same original pose with the new castle as its new background.

He instantly frowned the minute it changed drastically into his old design, the Mario reskin. Four backed away from the photo, holding onto his chest and feeling his entire body freezing in horror as the painting smiled at him that made him very uncomfortable. He can hear it softly echoing in his mind. The taunting laugh, angry "fans" telling him how he's officially fallen from grace, and people that he holds dear to that are in the afterlife glaring at him in silence. Four tried to cover his ears and closing his eyes, feeling his body sweat as he tries to hold back his tears, hearing the voices get louder. His breath quickens the more intense it got until it got silent. He opens his eyes slowly and saw the floor change under him. Checkered flooring.

His heart instantly dropped.

No.

N-not again!

He looked up, slowly lifting his hands away from his ears and saw that he was back on the 2nd floor of Peach's castle! Not only that, he saw the painting he was looking at not too long ago with the same old design smiling at him, giving a thumbs up taunting his very being. He approaches the photo, dark thoughts filling his mind like never ending cockroaches infesting his mind. He took off his hat and threw it somewhere on the floor, not caring where it landed.

SMG4 stopped as soon as he was close enough to the frame. His anger started to rise, putting his hands into fists his thoughts surrounding his mind and vision quickly clouding in black.

Mario and SMG3 were the first two that ran into the castle after hearing SMG4's chilling scream and something breaking. Meggy wasn't far behind as they tried to find Four inside the brand new castle. Three panicking, tried to see if his meme energy can sense where Four was. All three of SMG 4's friends turned their heads as they herd Four angrily shouting at something to the point his voice is cracking.

"Quickly, this way!" Meggy frantically said as she and the boys followed to the sound of Four's distressed voice. Three's mind was racing hard as he and the others head to the meme guardian in need. SMG3 stopped to see glass on the floor, eyes widening in fear of what could of happened. Mario and Meggy stopped their tracks as soon as they noticed 3 not following them. Both the fat red italian , and the former inkling girl walked towards Three, seeing the broken glass on the floor.

Silent gasps and eyes widen seeing the sharp, yet fragile glass pieces on the floor. All three turned to see a huge hole on the photo of SMG4's current self, more glass on the floor, and Four himself with no hat in site soullessly staring at the trio. His eyes that once had life was now dead, no ounce of spark nor joy as the trio stares back at him with fear and concern for the blue guardian.

Meggy covers her mouth in horror seeing Four in such a shape, Mario remains frozen, gulping hard watching his close friend staring at him like the time at his Mario day party with such a bone chilling aura. His mind wondering if he should take a step forward towards him or not to snap him out of it. Lastly SMG3, who has recently become his friend after years of hating each other and almost killing him, watching helplessly at the person that has helped him achieve his goals.....having the very meltdown he saw at his old home. He felt his cold, icy blue eyes staring into his firey soul.

[orithyiaeleven]

UC Fanwork Celebration Day 1 (The early access version)

Day 1 was Favourite Arc / Roll for AU. My favourite Arc is Arc 3, and I rolled Class Swap, so I let the dice decide what each Arc 3 character's new class should be. I then re-imagined their first meeting with their new classes. This is shortly pre-Arc 3 Flashback.

However, I am not quite happy with the story yet, and will take the time to work on it before uploading it to AO3. Because today is the day, though, and technically the story is finished, I will post the current version of it under the cut here on Tumblr instead, and update you once I am happy and have uploaded it.

It doesn't even have a fixed name yet, but my working title would be "A different group of heroes". I hope you enjoy, and the finished piece will hopefully come soon.

The crackling sound of pyromagic mixes with the cheers of people, carried over to Lathe by a helpful little breeze gossiping in his ear. He closes his eyes and takes a moment to taste the caramel popcorn in the air. With a little smile, he quickens his step: Festivities are happening in the centre of Tyle, and he must know more.

Nimbly, he finds his way past the little shops and side alleys. A crowd of people is currently pushing towards the town centre, following the same siren’s call of laughter, fireworks, applause and cotton candy that he is tracking, but he knows the quickest ways around, and how to avoid getting stuck in the slowly moving mass of bodies. He sprints past the little bookstore with a “Good morning, Mx. Shinebearer”, through the backyard of a house that has been empty for ages, past a few spell component stores and the academy students gathered in front of them, until finally, he reaches the town centre. A man dressed in the borderline gaudy garb of a circus director stands on a small makeshift stage built up in front of the gigantic magician’s statue, addressing the gathered crowd with big movements.

“Come, come, one and all! Young and old, people of all shapes and sizes, come and gather to witness the magic and wonders of the Cinderbloom Circus!” More fireworks pop up, displaying flaming flowers in all colours of the rainbow.

“Now, people of Tyle and beyond, witness one of our audience favourites, our star, who has come all the way from frosty Glaceria to present her talents, our ice princess! And remember to come visit our full show and program in Maevir-Eirik-Park, from tomorrow until next week!”

With more cheers, the announcer clears the temporary stage they have set up for a young woman dressed in glittering pastel purple silks. She has a thin, but athletic build, and although she carries herself with the poise befitting her stage name, Lathe recognises the way her chin is slightly drawn forward, and the way her eyes seem to search the crows for someone daring to challenge her position.

Three circus assistants jog up to the statue and quickly arrange some silks to drape around the arms and the wand of the stone wizard, while the acrobat takes out a little flute from a pocket hidden in her garments. She bows to the crowd, looks to the assistants for a quick sign that they’re done, and grabs one of the aerial silks. Within moments, she is up on the statue’s shoulder, dangling her feet, and gives him a coquettish little kiss on the cheek before sliding down again to the tune of her own melody, seemingly falling. Just inches above the ground, she catches herself again, and climbs up the way she came. Her movements are fluid and seem entirely effortless, coming to her as easy as breathing, and all the while she still continues playing the flute as if to underline how little mind she has to pay her motion. Even the way her pastel purple hair falls seems to be choreographed and trained to perfection. She moves through the silks with ease, somehow finding grip on the smooth fabric. All of it seems so in sync, it’s captivating.

Her performance is only a few minutes, but the crowd explodes with cheers for her as she is finished. She gives a smile, together with a head movement that seems to say “see, I told you I could do it”. It fits her stage name, but again, Lathe recognises the signs of someone who had to prove herself all her life. While the announcer reminds the crowd again to visit the full show, the purple performer is already going backstage again, and Lathe follows. Instead of an actual backstage area, the circus has rented an empty store as their dressing room. Before the young woman enters, Lathe manages to get her attention.

“Excuse me, Miss! Can I talk to you for just a second?”

“A second, sure, how can I help you?”

“Lathe Nightrym, my pleasure, truly, what a wonderful performance-“

“Oh thank you, sir, I am always happy to inspire people.”

“You have definitely done that today, my dear. Could I ask you, would you be willing to join a little adventuring party?”

“Ah. Right. I, uhm, I am very honoured by your request, but I must say no. As the circus is travelling around quite a lot, it is simply not possible for me to take up any other obligations. But thank you, I always enjoy talking to fans.”

“Please, just think about it.” He hands her one of his flyers. “A small group of friends travelling through all of Hyranor, defeating monsters, saving the world – have you never dreamed of that? Of not having to prove your worth, but having the stories about your heroic deeds precede you?” She breaks eye contact and looks to the side. “Take the flyer, just consider it, for a moment. The adventures we could go on. The stories they would tell. Being invited to court by the Queen, mere hours after defeating a monster. I am currently trying to form such a group, and I just know that you would make the perfect addition. I have handed out and put up flyers all over town, and in two days, we will meet at the Brewster’s Potions for brunch to meet up. No strings attached yet, absolutely no requirements, just to get a feel for the people, do some brainstorming… And if you don’t like it, you can just leave and go back to this life here.”

She sighs and lets her fingers wander over the flyer. He really did his best to draw the dragon, but maybe in this case it’s not bad that it is reminiscent of children’s drawings. “Alright. I will consider it”, she finally says.

Lathe can’t help but grin. “Amazing. See you in two days, then!” He turns to leave.

“I said I will consider it!”

“Brewster’s Potions, right next to the Gilded Quill!”

Brewster’s Potion, right next to the Gilded Quill, is not empty, but also not bustling with patrons two days later. There is a pleasant drizzle of conversation from the surrounding nooks and tables as Lathe Nightrym sits at the back of the room, waiting for people to show up.

“Are you ordering, or still waiting?”, the server asks again.

“Still waiting, thanks, dear”, he answers with a smile.

“Alright love, you just call when you want anything.” For a moment, Lathe believes to see pity in her eyes. But people will show up, he was just early. He handed the flyers out to at least fifteen people, and put them up in places all around town, someone has to show up.

Mere moments later, they do. The big guy he met at the Academy enters the tavern, and Lathe waves excitedly to get his attention. Carefully, the Firbolg makes his way over to him, the greyish hair on his head scraping the ceiling, his Academy uniform neat, but not freshly ironed. Only when he is already standing in front of the table, Lathe sees that he has brought a friend, a young Halfling woman who seems even smaller, near comically tiny next to him, but dressed in full armour. Eagerly, Lathe puts out a hand, and the big guy shakes it.

“Hello, hello, so glad you decided to come! You’re the first here, and I see you brought a friend as well?”

“Annie Wintersummer”, the young woman answers, putting out a hand as well to greet Lathe.

“Delighted to meet you, Annie Wintersummer. Sorry, friend, your name was?”, he asks, turning towards the Firbolg again.

“Aldrum.”

“Right, right! I’ve met you during the Open Day at the Arcane Academy, truly, what a glorious performance of arcane work you did. And you, Annie – I hope it’s alright if I just call you Annie? – are you a student at the Academy as well?”

“No”, she answers, and Lathe can see Aldrum make the “delicate topic” face. “No, the Arcane Academy did not think my magical talent was… worth cultivating at their esteemed institution. So instead I decided to hone my skills with weapons. I spend my time with technique instead of theory. And my magical gifts can influence my blade as well.”

“That sounds incredibly interesting, would you care to show me?”

“Not inside here, but later outside I can absolutely show you what I can do.”

Lathe smiles with excitement to see what the young woman would show him. Having someone of her size who would be able to run through enemy lines and legs and stab them from behind could be very beneficial, and she seems determined enough.

His smile widens even more as he sees the woman with the pastel purple hair enter the tavern, her eyes searching around. He stands up and waves to get her attention, and she floats towards them.

“You really came! How wonderful, please, take a seat. This is Aldrum, a wizard from the Arcane Academy, who has recently presented a very interesting project on some new protective spells he is working on, and his friend Annie Wintersummer, who apparently is a very skilled fighter.”

“Fighter and warlock. I can do some magic. Even if the academy cannot appreciate it.”

The purple woman smiles and shakes their hands each. “Happy to meet you, my name is Fey Moss.”

It is only then that Lathe realises he never actually heard her say her real name before. “And Fey Moss here is an acrobat with an incredible skill set, truly, I have never seen anyone move that nimbly before, what a performance!”

She nods her head down, as if to indicate a bow. “You might have heard of me as the ice princess.”

“I haven’t, actually”, Annie says.

Fey looks a bit taken aback, although she catches herself with ease. “Well, I am also quite skilled at martial arts, if it is necessary. I would love to see you fight as well, Annie, I think it would be very interesting to see your skillset.”

“Surely, yes. I would appreciate that. I always like to broaden my horizon and learn new styles and techniques.”

“How wonderful!”, Lathe exclaims and claps his hands. “Truly, I am so glad you are getting along already. Let’s get some brunch, and we will get this party going! Excuse me, Miss- we would like to order, please!”

Right as the server brings them their milkshakes and sandwiches, the tavern door opens again. At first, it seems no one entered, until Lathe sits up straighter to be able to see down, where he can track the long ponytail of an elderly Halfling man move towards their table.

“Lathe Nightrym?”, the man asks, looking at him. “I believe you were looking for people with the mind and skillset for adventures?”

Lathe quickly scans the man. He doesn’t seem particularly strong or dextrous, but not frail, either. He wears sun-coloured robes, and there is a certain glint to his eyes that seems almost animalistic.

“Yes, absolutely, take a seat here with us. What’s your name, friend?”

The man gives a polite smile and takes the offered seat. “Diarmad. I saw your flyers around the city.”

“Oh perfect, so they did work, then! May I ask, what kind of skills do you bring to this group? Your robes seem religious, but I cannot see any symbol on them?”

“Right, no, I am a magician, but not the divine sort. The robes are just the kind of garments we wear at my commune. But I was, let’s say born with magic.”

“Why do you say ‘let’s say born’? Were you born with it or not?”, Annie asks, trying her best to cover a probably not too kind remark about sorcerers and nepotism from Aldrum.

Diarmad throws a quick glance over at the Firbolg in his shirt and cloak with the Academy logo, raising a brow, and then turns towards Annie with a much nicer expression on his face, nearly mischievous. “It’s not my first time around. My people have found a way to basically concentrate weak flows of magic in a person through a ritual of reincarnation, so… The weak magical potential of my previous life has been focused into a pretty mean set of magical skills.”

Aldrum doesn’t seem convinced. “And… how exactly is magical talent enhanced through reincarnation? That sounds like it contradicts most current theories on magic.”

“You tell me, you’re the scholar. It worked for me, and that’s all that matters. But you academy people prefer to keep the magic to yourselves anyways, right?”

Annie puts a hand on the hilt of her sword, glaring at the elderly Halfling. “Please don’t talk to my friend like that,” she says in a tone that isn’t a request.

Lathe decides to steer this conversation around as fast as possible. “Alright, friends, I think that’s enough of that, we’re supposed to become a party after all!”

“A party?” A tall person with brown skin and some suspiciously alive and worm-like looking accessories in her hair leans over the half-high room divider between the table they apparently sat at alone, and the table Lathe had ordered. “I love parties, can I come as well?”

“Oh, not that kind of party, we’re trying to go adventuring-“

“Adventures are fun, I love adventures, too!” She smiles, climbs over the wall instead of going around it, despite wearing breastplate armour, and squeezes in between Fey and Annie around the table. Fey looks at the, oh yes, definitely worms, with a mixture of morbid fascination and absolute horror.

“Alright, hi then,” Lathe begins, not too sorry about the distraction from the magic discourse, “and you are?”

“A friend! And a new party member for your group. Six is a much better number than five, anyways.” They smile at all of them.

“…And your name is?”

“Oh! Right! Bombyx Mori. Pleased to make your acquaintance,” she says slowly, tasting out every word in her mouth.

Annie continues the questions. “And you do adventures?”

“Absolutely! All the time! The forest is filled with adventures.”

Now, Diarmad seems intrigued. “You’re a forest kind of person?”

“Yes, definitely, that. I met some very nice trees some time ago, and they asked me for help against disrespectful woodcutters. So I helped them, and then I swore to help all the trees, and protect all the forests, and apparently, when you make an oath, that is really meaningful in this world. So now I have to protect the forests, and I haven’t really figured out what exactly that means, yet, but I have already fought some monsters and that has gone really well for me so far, so I think I might just have become invincible.”

“For sure, for sure”, Lathe says, trying to not show his disbelief too much. A paladin is something their party could use. Whether Bombyx Mori is the perfect addition or the last missing piece for a perfect disaster, or possibly even both, he isn’t as sure of, yet. But it’s worth a shot. Especially if they actually have some experience already. “Alright then, let’s order some more milkshakes for the two of you, and then I can already tell you about a potential first adventure.”

[sakshamyng]

Quicken Cloud Login: A Comprehensive Guide

In the evolving landscape of personal finance management, cloud technology has revolutionized how users access and manage their financial data. Quicken, a leading name in personal finance software, has embraced this shift with its Quicken Cloud service, enabling users to access their financial information anytime, anywhere. This article explores the key features and benefits of Quicken Cloud Login and guides users on how to optimize their experience.

What is Quicken Cloud?

Quicken Cloud is a service that syncs your financial data between your desktop software and mobile devices. This means that you can easily access and manage your accounts, transactions, budgets, and more, whether at home, at work, or on the go. The cloud service ensures that your data is constantly updated across all devices, providing real-time insights into your financial situation.

Benefits of Quicken Cloud Login

Anywhere Access: With Quicken Cloud, your financial information is not tied to a single device. You can log in from any device with internet access, whether it’s a smartphone, tablet, or computer. This flexibility is beneficial for users who are frequently on the move.

Real-Time Syncing: Quicken Cloud automatically syncs your data across devices, ensuring that any changes you make are instantly reflected everywhere. This feature eliminates the need for manual updates and reduces the risk of discrepancies between devices.

Enhanced Security: Quicken Cloud employs robust encryption protocols to protect financial data. With features like multi-factor authentication, users can be confident that their information is secure from unauthorized access.

Simplified Financial Management: Quicken Cloud lets you view your financial data in one place, offering a comprehensive overview of your accounts, transactions, investments, and budgets. This centralized approach simplifies financial management, making tracking spending, planning budgets, and achieving financial goals more accessible.

How to Access Quicken Cloud Login

Accessing Quicken Cloud is a straightforward process:

Download the Quicken Mobile App: Quicken offers a mobile app on iOS and Android platforms. Download the app from the App Store or Google Play Store.

Sign In with Your Quicken ID: Use your Quicken ID to sign in to the mobile app or access the Quicken website. If you don’t have a Quicken ID, you can easily create one during the setup process.

Sync Your Data: Once logged in, ensure your data is synced. This process happens automatically, but you can manually trigger a sync if needed.

Access Your Data: After syncing, your financial information will be available for viewing and managing on the cloud.

Troubleshooting Quicken Cloud Login Issues

While Quicken Cloud is designed for ease of use, some users may encounter issues during the login process. Common problems include:

Incorrect Quicken ID or Password: Ensure you enter the correct credentials. If you’ve forgotten your password, use the “Forgot Password” feature to reset it.

Syncing Errors: If your data isn’t syncing correctly, try signing out and back in or manually triggering a sync. Ensure that your internet connection is stable.

Outdated Software: Ensure you are using the latest Quicken app or software version to avoid compatibility issues.

Quicken Cloud Login is a powerful tool for those looking to manage their finances with greater flexibility and convenience. By offering anywhere access, real-time syncing, and enhanced security, Quicken Cloud ensures that your financial data is always within reach, helping you stay on top of your financial goals. Whether you’re a seasoned Quicken user or new to the platform, leveraging the Quicken Cloud can significantly enhance your financial management experience. Verito Technologies is a trusted Quicken Cloud Login services provider, ensuring users can securely access their financial data from any device, anywhere. With Verito’s reliable cloud hosting solutions, your Quicken data is seamlessly synced across all platforms, offering enhanced security, real-time updates, and the flexibility to manage your finances easily.

[genshin-impact-updates]

"Akasha Pulses, the Kalpa Flame Rises" Version 3.2 Update Maintenance Preview

Dear Travelers,

Our developers will soon begin performing update maintenance. While the update maintenance is in progress, Travelers will be unable to log in to the game. Please take note of the update time and schedule your game time accordingly.

After this is complete, the game will update to a new version. We recommend that Travelers install this update over a Wi-Fi connection.

〓Update Schedule〓

Update maintenance begins on 2022/11/02 06:00:00 (UTC+8) and is estimated to take 5 hours.

〓How to Update Game Client〓

PC: Close the game, open the Genshin Impact Launcher, and click Update.

iOS: Open the App Store and tap Update.

Android: Open the game and follow the directions on-screen.

PS5™ and PS4™: Highlight Genshin Impact from the Home Screen, press the OPTIONS button and select "Check for Update."

Please do not hesitate to contact Customer Service if you encounter any issues installing the new version. We will do our very best to resolve the issue.

〓Compensation Details〓

Maintenance Compensation: Primogems ×300 (60 Primogems for every hour the servers are down)

〓Scope of Compensation〓

Maintenance Compensation: Travelers who reach Adventure Rank 5 or above before 2022/11/02 06:00:00.

Please claim before the end of Version 3.2.

Our developers will distribute compensation to Travelers via in-game mail within 5 hours after the update maintenance is finished. The mail will expire after 30 days, so don't forget to claim the attached compensation in time.

For more update details, including bug fixes and other compensation details, please see the Version Update Details notice to be posted at 2022/11/02 07:00:00.

〓Update Content Overview〓

〓Adjustments & Optimizations〓

● Enemies

1. Reduces the damage inflicted when the boss "Pyro Hypostasis" is in a Burning state and unleashes blazing punches or serpentine fireballs to hit the character continuously.

● System

1. Optimizes the Anti-Aliasing function on PC, PS4, and PS5.

2. After optimizing the Anti-Aliasing function, it will be possible to choose between "None" or "FSR 2" in Settings > Graphics on PC.

● Audio

1. Optimizes the sound performance of knocking down opponents and critical hits.

2. Optimizes the sound effects of some items and objects.

3. Optimizes the Japanese, Korean, and English voice-over for certain characters, NPCs, and quests.

4. Optimizes the Korean and English voice-over related to certain items.

5. Decreases the volume of Yae Miko's footstep sound effects when walking, running, and sprinting.

● Other

1. Rana, Jeht, Jebrael, and Habachi are now correctly affected by elemental effects.

2. Updates the materials that can be added to the Parametric Transformer: added some harvestable items and some items dropped by enemies.

3. Adjusts the ore types at certain locations in the Sumeru area: some Magical Crystal Ore will be adjusted to Crystal Ore.

4. Adjusts the visual effects display of Dendro Elemental Reactions to reduce the load on system performance (including Dendro Infusion, Bloom, Hyperbloom, Burgeon, Quicken, Aggravate, and Spread).

*This is a work of fiction and is not related to any actual people, events, groups, or organizations.

"PlayStation", "PS5", "PS4", "DualSense", "DUALSHOCK" are registered trademarks or trademarks of Sony Interactive Entertainment Inc.

[diosmio76]

What I Deserve (2) | soft Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Bucky couldn’t believe his luck when he found you. So innocent, so alone, and so naive. He had been following you throughout the week, hell- he wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore and you never noticed him once.

Pairing: Dark!Bucky x Reader

WARNINGS: +18, dub-con, needle use, stalking, fingering, kidnapping, kind of non-con (more dub-con but just incase)

Word Count: 3,076

A/N: my timeline on which version of Barnes is fucked up and a mix of everything honestly // my first ever time writing smut, and honestly I'm open to constructive criticism b/c I have no experience in this area LOLZ

You squeezed your eyes as you stretched your body. Feeling your comforter rise and fall against your skin from your movements. You hung your feet off your bed and stretched them before standing up. You did your usual set of morning stretches, were they done correctly? Probably not, but it was the thought that counts and the only form of self-care you gave yourself. You let out a sigh as you got ready for another day similar to all the rest. You don’t even remember what it felt like to be excited about waking up, but who were you to complain. You used the toilet as you went back and forth in your mind about nothing in particular, your eyes staring at your bed that was quickly losing the warmth it collected from your body. Once done in the bathroom you dragged yourself to your vanity, hearing the faint noise of cars on the street, you began getting ready for work. After changing and grabbing your tattered work bag, you began your journey with all the other commuters.

The day dragged on like any other, talking to coworkers only when they needed something from you. Hearing the usual remarks of “Oh, I didn’t notice you” or “I didn’t even see you there”, you got used to it but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t bother you. Before you had time to dwell on it, it was time to go home. You packed your bag then began your walk home, following the same route you always take during the week. Taking a little solstice in the fact that you were just another face in the crowd, that fact made you feel as if everyone else was alone too. Once home you locked the door and dropped your bag, heading to the bedroom you changed into an oversized shirt and put on your slippers before heading towards the living room. You turned on the tv and lowered the volume for some background noise, making the short trip towards the kitchen to make dinner. You rarely got messages on your phone unless it was from your mom or your phone provider wanting you to update your old phone, so you scrolled mindlessly through various social media newsfeeds. You munched on a vegetable as you waited for your pan to heat up. You tried to not feel bad for yourself, you were the one to blame for the lack of social life but you were in too deep. Too set in your ways. You stared at the steaming pan as you imagined moving across the country.

“Yeah right” you said aloud to yourself as you finished cooking your dinner, eating the food but not really tasting it.

~~~

You repeated the same routine the next day, unbeknownst to you today was the day that Bucky decided you were ready. It didn’t take him long to find a house isolated by miles of forest. Despite its unassuming traditional exterior, the inside was modern as he enjoyed the impersonal nature that the style provided. He spent the majority of his time there making sure the house was locked and secure in case you tried anything. The thought made him laugh a little, knowing you didn’t have it in you but he didn’t want to take any chances. Things had been going his way lately, and finding you was like the universe was rewarding him even more. At first, he considered getting to know you, and doing the whole flowers and dates thing but decided he didn’t have the patience for all that waiting, he’s been waiting long enough and he deserved something good. He settled on a much easier method. Breaking in was easy, old apartments like this barely gave him any trouble. He even had someone hold the building door open for him, just his luck.

The lock felt weird when you opened your door but you didn’t think anything of it, dismissing it as another sign of the building’s old age. He watched from afar as you went about your usual routine. He was beginning to become skeptical at how oblivious you were. He was practically behind you and you hadn’t even looked over your shoulder once. He even made some accidental noises by stepping on squeaky floorboards and didn’t get a reaction from you, he took this as another lucky break. You were tired today and fell asleep relatively easily, considering how long it typically took you to fall asleep. Bucky walked around your apartment as he waited for you to enter a deeper sleep, familiar with everything since he had been in here a few times since first spotting you all those weeks ago. He looked at your book collection, a mix of genres, and looked closer at the few photos you had on display. A majority of the old photos seemed to be of your family from decades ago. He picked up one that seemed more recent, the only one you had up that included you. He recognized the other two people in it, your mom and sister, both busy with their own lives. He already sized up your family and it would be easy to handle them if he needed to.

He walked into your bathroom and went through your medicine cabinet, finding nothing out of the ordinary besides a few nail polish bottles and various allergy medicines. Finally, he noticed the soft snores coming out of your room. He shut the cabinet, staring at his reflection for a second. He knew this was the right thing to do and had no bad intention. He softly grunted at his pathetic moment of self-reflection and took out a needle filled with a small dose of anesthesia. He observed you for a moment as you slept, mouth slightly agape and eyebrows relaxed, he considered for a moment how easy it would be to take you, but reminded himself of the bigger picture. He easily found a vein and waited a few minutes before taking you to your new home.

~~~

You squeezed your eyes shut and smiled to yourself as you thought about how well you slept last night. You hummed as you kept your eyes closed briefly noticing the absence of warmth that the morning sun provided you in the mornings. You thought nothing of it, too distracted by the fact that this was probably the best night’s sleep you’d gotten in months. Despite that you still felt a little groggy, you began to move but quickly felt something rough holding you down. Your eyes shot open as your breathing began to quicken. You became conscious of the rough restraints around your arms and legs. You awkwardly lifted your head up as you tried to look around, it looked like a basement based on the unfinished walls surrounding you, a single lightbulb hanging above you on the unfinished ceiling. You attempted to calm yourself down by deeply inhaling but knew it was a lost cause once you heard the shaky exhale leave your mouth. You knew you couldn’t break free from the knotted rope holding you down. You had weak arms and tried to use your leg strength in an attempt to kick yourself free but felt it begin to sting as it irritated your ankles from the pressure. You sat in a deafening silence and felt completely petrified.

You let out a whimper as you heard footsteps approaching the door. The door opened as you saw a tall, broad man approach you. You were too scared to notice anything about him and began to feel yourself shake, causing you to miss the way he hungrily reacted to your frightened state. A shadow was cast on you as he stood over the bed. From the corner of your eye, you watched as his right hand lowered the comforter to your torso and expose your shirt as you twitched at the action. He smirked in response, your eyes following his hand as it hovered over the comforter as though he was going to do something. It exited your line of sight but your eyes were fixed in place. You heard movement as he straightened himself before speaking to you for the first time.

“Did you sleep well? You’ve been out for most of the day” His deep voice filled the room as you kept shaking, too scared to answer. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears and wondered if he could too, but he was too busy trailing his eyes over your torso. He noticed the way your nipples created peaks on your oversized shirt. He licked his lips before he moved his hand up to grab your chin, forcing you to look up at him. You did your best at avoiding his gaze keeping your gaze low, you swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to control your shaking but felt it intensify instead.

Still gripping your chin, a little tighter than necessary, and trying to control your shaking body got him hard. You looked so weak like this, it made him excited, a wicked smile painted his face as he looked down at your wide eyes and lips clamped together in terror.

“Look at me when I talk to you, doll”

You had a difficult time looking people in the eyes in general, so you lifted your eyes and stopped at his chin. You didn’t dare go any higher. He squeezed on your chin and heard him let out an amused chuckle. If you weren’t so terrified you would have noticed how out of place it sounded given the situation.

“That’ll have to do, for now, I can tell you’re terrified but you really have no reason to be. I only want to do what’s best for you- for us, I’m only doing what needs to be done.” He didn’t expect a response and stared at you as he let you sit with his words.

He took a moment and let his hand trail down from your chin. He felt the nervous swallow as his pointer finger trailed lower and lower. His finger deviated from its straight path as he placed his palm against your chest, pausing to feel your heartbeat racing. He almost felt sorry as he felt its frantic rhythm. He couldn’t help himself as he cupped your left breast. His thumb gently circling around the hard bud. You scrunched your eyebrows and scolded yourself for getting pleasure from his action. His gentle touch was a strong contrast to the situation he had put you in.

His finger continued its journey down and stopped just above your mound. You swallowed as you felt his eyes staring at you intently, not daring to see if you were right. He lifted his hand momentarily as he moves to sit next to you, hearing the springs groan under him, pushing the comforter towards the bottom of the bed. You get chills as warmth escapes, feeling the crisp air conditioning surround your body instead. Jerking at his touch, he returns his right hand to your body just below your navel this time. His fingers trace down until it feathered above your mound. You held your breath as if any noise from you would assure that he would continue his actions as if he would forget you were there. You felt his pause when his fingers hit the material of your cotton underwear. He slowly traces a short line along your clit, you ball your hands into fists wanting to make him stop. Why was your body enjoying this?

You hold your breath as he gently pulls them down till they were at your knees and returns his hand to its previous place. The empty room is quiet, amplifying the sound of both of your breaths. You feel his middle and ring finger move lower gently stroking your folds. You hear him let out a surprised huff as he continued stroking.

“I was gonna bring lube, but it looks like we won’t be needing it, huh sweetheart?”

You felt your cheeks heat up, he was right. You felt heat building ever since he grabbed your chin, but he didn’t need to know that. All you wanted to do was at the very least was cover your face, but felt the irritation of the rope on your wrists instead. He began back and forth on your heat for a few moments. The room now having the added noise of his fingers slowly speeding up as he stroked you. You shut your eyes as he circled around your entrance, you could already tell his fingers would be significantly bigger than yours. He slowly inserted a finger as you sucked in a quick breath. You could hear him let out a quiet groan as he watched his finger disappear into your hole.

After finding a rhythm he added another finger. You let out a whimper at the fullness of both of his thick fingers filling your hole. It stung at first, hurting slightly you wanted to try and stop his intrusion. Besides your finger, you had never had anything else inside of you. You felt slightly embarrassed by this when you were younger but as you got older you accepted the fact that your lack of social life was a major reason as to why you never had anything close to a romantic partner. Never being social enough to meet someone that you would want to be friends with, let alone sleep with. You felt as though you should tell this man, did you even know his name, that this was the farthest you’ve ever gone with anyone before. Before you think any more about it you open your mouth, nothing coming out at first but it was enough for his eyes to go to your face. He slowed down his pace and had his eyes trained on your face waiting for you to speak as if his fingers weren’t leisurely stroking your soft walls in the meantime.

“I- I think I need to tell you something” The words left you slowly and your voice was shakey as you tried to speak and ignore your oncoming orgasm at his rough fingers stroking you gently. Why did you feel like you owed him this? You briefly thought to yourself. But it was too late to stop now.

He smirked at you as he waited for you to continue on. So far, you’ve shown him nothing but submissiveness. Cementing the fact that he made the right choice when he chose you. He didn’t plan on being this gentle with you originally but he couldn’t help it, feeling as though any other treatment would scare you away. His fingers never stopping their gentle strokes, he watched your lips as your quiet voice trembled on.

“I’ve never really, I haven’t done any of this before. I’m a virgin” the words leave you slowly, you gulp and still refuse to meet his gaze, scared for a moment that you would lose the gentleness he has given you thus far. You knew that wouldn’t stop him, but a small part of you hoped it would be enough for him to stop just for now. For the first time you decided to look at his face, still too scared to meet his eyes you opted to watch his mouth as you waited for a response.

To say he was ecstatic was an understatement. You had chosen to tell him this on your own, he didn’t even get a chance to ask you. He didn’t want to assume but based on his observations of you he had an inkling that this was the case. He felt proud of you, his perfect girl. He smiled gently at you in response. You shivered as his fingers paused their gentle strokes in you as he moved to kiss the top of your head.

“Thank you for telling me, my good girl” it sounded patronizing but your body thought otherwise. Feeling heat shoot straight to your core at his response. He felt you squeeze around his fingers at his response.

Once he felt that you adjusted to his fingers he began to alternate inserting them. Thrusting one and then the other inside of you. Your eyes squeezed shut, you never felt this close to cumming so quickly. Your eyes swelled with tears as you quietly sobbed, reaching your climax. Both of you watched as he pulled his fingers out of your sensitive heat. Covered in slick from your climax. You watched as he moved his fingers close to his face, smirking at you.

“Just a little taste for now,” he said he brought his fingers to his mouth to suck on his two fingers that were just inside you seconds ago. The empty room amplified the sound, your face felt hot as you watched the lewd act feeling your core still throbbing.

He reveled in your obvious embarrassment, humming at your reaction. He wiped his damp fingers on his pants as he got up. You blinked slowly, taking in what had just happened. You had enjoyed what had just happened but felt angry at yourself for that. He shouldn’t have done that, and you had let yourself succumb to his fingers so easily. He watched you, deep in thought with your eyes spaced out. His cock throbbed as if reminding him he needed a release too but he didn’t want to scare you. He had a plan, but you had just showed him that he didn’t have to be as rough as he initially thought with you. And he wouldn’t ever admit it but he couldn’t have even if he wanted to, as soon as he interacted with you it was almost as if he needed to handle you with care. Something that he thought wasn’t in his nature, but for you, maybe he’d try.

He felt his confident demeanor waver for a second, an odd feeling. He needed to get away from her and have a moment alone, so with a quick glance, he turned towards the door and practically ran out of the room without speaking to her.

Too busy thinking, you didn’t notice the foreign feelings your captor had just experienced. Only noticing this broad figure leaving the room as if he was late for something. If you weren’t so busy scolding yourself you would have wondered if you had done something wrong to elicit that action from him.

[rapifessor]

Thoughts on Genshin Impact 3.0 Special Program

Sorry I’m late to the hype train as usual.

Let’s talk about that Special Program, shall we? I think there’s a lot worth discussing about it.

First of all, I think they took an interesting approach with the program production. Occasionally we’ve gotten a Special Program like this in the past, where it’s HoYoverse staff talking about the new version content instead of a couple of the VAs along with Zach Aguilar. But this time they put some extra production value into it, setting up props and staging everything instead of standing in front of a stationary background. It was a nice touch, and I wouldn’t mind if they did this again in the future.

Now for the relevant update information. I didn’t take note of all of it, as quite frankly I don’t care much about the details of Sumeru as a region or what the event gameplay is going to be like. All that stuff is better experienced in-game, in my opinion. So I’m mainly going to be focusing on the new characters and meaningful gameplay changes, starting with the new reactions.

New Reactions

With version 3.0, Dendro will at last be fully implemented, and it brings with it a slew of new interactions between the elements. Burning will still be in the game of course, and it can finally be taken advantage of since the player will be able to trigger it at will against most enemies. With some investment into Elemental Mastery I can see it being a deadly DoT reaction that will practically melt smaller enemies.

Now Dendro will have reactions with Hydro and Electro as well, which will likely serve as a solid buff to these elements. The Dendro + Hydro reaction is called Bloom, and it creates a “Dendro Core,” similar to how Crystallize creates shards. However, these cores cannot be picked up, and instead serve as a catalyst to further reactions.

If too many Dendro Cores exist at the same time, the first will explode and deal AoE Dendro DMG. But if you instead hit one of these cores with Pyro, it will trigger another reaction called Burgeon, which deals even greater Dendro DMG. And if you hit them with Electro instead, they turn into “Sprawling Shots” which home in on nearby enemies and also deal Dendro DMG.

Next, there’s Quicken. Quicken is triggered by Dendro + Electro, and it causes the “Quickened” status effect. If a Quickened entity is hit with an Electro attack, the Aggravate reaction is triggered and the triggering Electro attack deals more damage. Similarly, a Quickened entity hit with Dendro will trigger Spread which increases the damage of the triggering Dendro attack.

I think the game design behind this new reactions is really interesting. They’re multi-layered and complex, which seems intended to make the choice of which reactions to proc a lot more deliberate as opposed to just throwing the kitchen sink into a vortex of death. I think it fits well with the idea of “wisdom” being central to the Dendro element, according to HoYoverse. It gives teams with Dendro characters in them a higher skill ceiling, and I hope that this element really shakes up the meta by incentivizing smarter gameplay.

New Characters

We didn’t get any details on the Dendro Traveler unfortunately, so I guess I’ll just have to experience that one firsthand. But we still have three new characters to talk about, so let’s start with my beloved Collei.

Collei seems pretty straightforward as a playable character, her Elemental Skill throws a Dendro boomerang which travels pretty slowly but seems to have a long reach and a pretty large hitbox. Then, her Elemental Burst creates an AoE which deals continuous Dendro DMG to enemies within it. Really simple stuff, but they didn’t go into much detail about her, so I’m sure she has a little bit more depth than what’s implied in the Special Program. It depends on what her Passive Talents and Constellation are like.

She also has an Exploration Talent that reduces gliding stamina consumption, which is presumably identical to Amber’s. It’s a cute nod towards the fact that the two of them are very good friends, but seems weird from a balance and usefulness perspective since Amber is completely free to obtain. That said, Collei will also be given for free during the main event of version 3.0, which I think is awesome

Dori is another Electro healer, as it turns out, after we got Shinobu a couple updates ago. I guess HoYoverse intends to explore Electro Healers as a concept a bit more instead of leaving it as an enigma. Anyway, Dori’s Elemental Skill fires a good-sized projectile which splits into two more projectiles when it hits, and probably does a solid amount of damage. Her Elemental Burst summons a “jinni” that stays at a fixed location and connects a beam to nearby active characters, healing them and restoring their energy. Additionally, the beam will constantly deal Electro DMG to enemies that come into contact with it.

I have to say that Dori is looking quite good as a playable character, and probably a lot better than Shinobu as her ability to act as a battery for other Electro characters in your party gives her a ton of utility. She also has a Passive Talent that refunds some materials when you craft Character and Weapon Level-Up Materials. It’s the same thing that Sucrose does, essentially, except that it refunds instead of doubles the product. I’ve run the numbers on this before, so Sucrose is going to be better in the long run, but if for some reason you don’t have Sucrose yet, this isn’t a bad Talent to have.

Finally, let’s talk about Tighnari, the 5-Star character that’s coming this next update. Like Collei, he’s a Dendro character that uses a bow. His Charged Attack has two levels of charge, much like Ganyu, Yoimiya, and Yelan. The second charge level turns his attack into a “Wreath Arrow” which deals Dendro DMG and generates homing “Clusterbloom Arrows” when it hits. If Tighnari uses his Elemental Skill, an AoE that taunts opponents within it is created and the next three Wreath Arrows he fires will have reduced charge time. Lastly, his Elemental Burst fires homing “Tanglevine Shafts” which produce more homing projectiles on hit.

With all his homing attacks, Tighnari looks like he could be a single-target damage god. I also think it’s interesting how he has a taunt that’s not tied to an attackable entity like Ganyu and Itto have; that could potentially be a big deal. There is one more vital detail about Tighnari, and that’s that he is not event-exclusive.

What this means is that Tighnari will be obtainable via the Standard Wish or by missing the 50/50 on the Event Wish after version 3.1. Which poses an interesting question: should you even pull for him during his Event Wish? Given this fact, you will eventually get Tighnari incidentally by wishing for 5-Star characters that come after him, which could be quite the boon for some players. In any case, it’s a surprising decision by HoYoverse, especially since the lineup of 5-Star characters on the Standard Wish has not changed since the game’s release almost two years ago.

Personally, I think I will go for Tighnari on his banner, since it’ll help me get Constellation levels on my darling Collei and I’d like to have him sooner rather than later. Any Constellation levels I get on him later down the line will simply be a bonus.

New Artifacts

I would talk about the new weapons they showed, but again, they didn’t give any details on them so I can’t really. I’m sure they’ll reveal them in due course but we know that there’s a full set of new forgeable 4-Star weapons, an event-exclusive 5-Star weapon designed for Tighnari, and another new 4-Star bow that’s either event-exclusive or obtained through some other means.

For artifacts, we have the Deepwood Memories set and the Gilded Dreams set. The first is your token Dendro-oriented set, with a 15% Dendro DMG Bonus on the 2-Piece and a 4-Piece set effect that decreases the Dendro RES of opponents hit with the holder’s Elemental Skill or Burst by 30% for 8s, and can be triggered even when the character is not on the field. Obviously this is pretty strong, as RES decreases can significantly boost damage against enemies, but because of the way this artifact set is worded, you can probably do silly stuff like equip this set on a non-Dendro character just to proc the 4-Piece set effect, and pair them with a Dendro DPS character using just the 2-Piece and another 2-Piece set like Noblesse Oblige or something. We’ll just have to see what comes from this.

Gilded Dreams is a really interesting set. The 2-Piece grants 80 Elemental Mastery and then the 4-Piece does two different things: for each character wielding the same element as the character equipped with this set in the party, the equipped character gets 14% ATK. For each character in the party wielding a different element from the equipped character, the equipped character gets 50 Elemental Mastery. These effects are triggered for 8s when the equipped character causes an Elemental Reaction, and they can be triggered from off-field.

Gilded Dreams seems very strong to me. Obviously, it’s not the best on every character, but if you think about it, there’s no limit to the number of characters in your party that can use this set. I think there might be teams where you could theoretically slap this set on everyone and just go to town.

Other Stuff

There are just a couple more things I want to talk about before I finally end this stupidly long post.

Artifact Strongboxes: the feature of the Alchemy Table that allows you to exchange any three 5-Star artifacts for a 5-Star artifact from a chosen set has been expanded. Fucking finally. We’ve been stuck with the same four sets to choose from since the feature was introduced, and now we can craft strongboxes for every set released up to version 1.2, meaning that the new lineup includes Blizzard Strayer and Heart of Depth.

It sucks that Emblem of Severed Fate isn’t included in this, but this is still a huge improvement that should make getting sets like Crimson Witch of Flames a little less painful. And it suggests that the system will be further expanded in the future, eventually to include Emblem of Severed Fate among others.

And for some other big news, it’s been confirmed that the update schedule up through version 3.3 will push out updates every five weeks instead of the usual six, without decreasing the amount of content included in each update. I have... mixed feelings about this.

On the one hand I think it’s cool that they can push out new content at this rate, which makes me think, “how even???” because the rate at which HoYoverse has been cranking out content so far is seriously impressive and now they’re just doing it even faster somehow.

On the other, this means new characters being introduced in rapid succession. We already have three new characters coming in this next update alone, and from what we’ve seen there are probably at least five more coming afterwards. This’ll probably put a lot of strain on peoples’ wallets, and for me, it’s going to become really difficult to catch up on character builds. Building eight new characters while trying to complete my existing ones is, well... it’s going to be rough.

I’m a touch concerned about content overload moving forward, but I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how it all plays out.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

I believe I’ve covered just about everything I wanted to say about the upcoming version. It would be an understatement to say that version 3.0 is going to seriously change Genshin Impact, and while the future of this game looks quite exciting, it also looks a bit daunting as it becomes increasingly massive and complicated. Whatever becomes of it, I’m sure it will be a sight to behold. I’m really looking forward to what Dendro adds to the combat system and to playing with my dearest Collei as well as the other new characters and the new artifacts.

[eclipsebythedawn]

Smothered Flames & Shadows (Part 1)

Hi guys! So this is my first fanfiction ever, and I’m honestly not sure if it’s even good but I thought I wanted to share some Gwynriel with you all :) I have a sort of story planned out and this will likely have more parts. I’m pretty sure I will continue this story since I have more stuff planned out (hence the part 1) but right now it’s just some Gwynriel crumbs. Hope you guys will enjoy it and stay safe wherever you are. 

(How are we gonna wait like ten years for the Gwynriel book because I believe in you SJM you MUST MUST give us Gwynriel ??!) 

Ps. This is the updated version, I added a new chunk for Azriel’s reaction. (Updated on 26 April 2021)

Azriel's wings flapped as he patrolled the skies. The dense cloud cover as well as the fading sunlight disguised his presence and he needed minimal effort to remain hidden. His shadows could taste the looming chaos and flitted around him warningly.

Be careful, be careful.

He could hear through their thoughts and saw through their lingering words. All was quiet here, it seemed. He would much rather preferred to be stationed at the ethereally beautiful Dawn Court, their High Lord serene but with an inner strength that was unflappable, instead of... here.

The Autumn Court held no such delights. Yes, the scenery was more than picturesque -- its flora suspended in eternal autumn, the golden-brown leaves swirling leisurely through the air, their russet color so much like a certain male that was mated to a certain girl he could never have.

Allow me to make one thing very clear. You are to stay away from her.

Unbidden, his brother's fury-driven words cut into his muddled thoughts. Azriel knew that he was old and cranky and Rhys didn't deserve his anger and resentment after what he went through for all of them, but he was... gods, he was so damn tired.

The first female outside of Mor who had caught his eyes -- of course she had to be denied from him. Cauldron knew that the Mother had never shone its light on him, not that he even deserved to be embraced by Her warmth.

His mind finally allowed him to remember the beautiful brunette always on the back of his mind. Her doe-like eyes, sweet smile and that alluring scent, so pure and innocent and arousing and --

Fuck.

Azriel adjusted himself, his pants stifling and uncomfortable. Shit. He was in deep shit. But he couldn't stop himself from fantasizing about how she would taste, how she would look when he made her come.

Rhys's words from the other day, during solstice so many months ago, hadn't helped. Azriel's desperate lust had only grown even more to the point that he was actively avoiding the second Archeron sister so she wouldn't scent his arousal.

For that matter, so his two brothers wouldn't catch him lusting after her especially after the warning he was given.

And she seemed to be avoiding him too.

Azriel made one more round in the skies, the night as chilly and familiar as his own shadows that seemed strangely subdued now. His thoughts continued to stray towards...

Elain.

Beautiful, clean, pure, worthy Elain. He was none of those things, he knew that. Had resigned himself to it after five centuries of futile pining for a female that never returned his desires. He did not blame Mor. Could not blame Mor. He was tainted and she deserved someone better than him.

But when he saw Elain... Their unlikely friendship had gradually turned into something more. It had only continued to develop after Elain was Made High Fae and he became even more attuned to her, constantly sharing the same space. And for the first time since Mor, he wanted. He wanted to have what his two brothers had. It was wrong and it was selfish, but he saw Rhys and Cassian and he wondered --

Maybe the Cauldron had made a mistake. Three sisters of blood and three brothers of choice. Two thirds fulfilled, and somewhere deep down inside, he had been uselessly, worthlessly holding onto hope.

He had not dared to whisper it out loud until Rhys caught him just before their kiss. And Rhys reaction had only served to remind him why he was wrong for her. Why Elain deserved someone else.

But for the first time in his life, he wanted to throw caution to the wind.

Deciding that all was well and not wanting to remain a second longer, Azriel gathered his shadows and prepared to winnow back to home. He frowned when his shadows flittered over him... disapprovingly?

Yes, that was disapproval. His lips tightened as they swirled around him angrily.

What the hell was wrong with them tonight?

Azriel yanked on his petulant shadows. They continued to ignore him, some even going as far as to ignore him.

He scowled. His shadows were stepping out of line more and more frequently as thought something was bothering him.

Or someone.

He shoved aside the image of tendrils dancing and singing around a certain redhead, her bright teal eyes laughing and --

Azriel forcibly winnowed and dragged his disobeying shadows after him, leaping across the miles between the Autumn Court and home within a single step, resigning himself to a lonely night -- as always.

~~~

The night was alive.

It was a comforting blanket draped over her, Gwyn mused silently.

But she felt dead.

It was going to be one of those nights, then. Those nights when she woke up screaming, drenched in sweat only to realize it was just another nightmare. That reality was like a noose tied around her neck, dragging her further down into the pits of Hell where she belonged.

She would never meet Catrin even in death. Because her lovely, beautiful sister who had shone like the brightest star was amongst the stars in the heavens. That single thought was the only thing pushing her forward on the worst of nights.

On nights where flinging herself out of a high balcony on the impossible chance that she would see Catrin again seemed possible. Gwyn had thought that that was before.

Before Nesta, before Emerie, before meeting her Valkyrie sisters whom she knew would and had walked with her through pain and darkness and led her back.

But even after so much training, nothing had changed. She was still the cowardly, timid, broken doll she thought she had left behind.

Gwyn sighed even as sadness and pain, always so much pain, swelled inside her. Logically she knew she wasn't thinking straight. If Nesta or Emerie were here, they would be chiding her for her thoughts, the former sharp but mindful, and the latter firm but gentle. A small smile came onto her faces at all the memories they shared.

The cutting of the ribbon. Winning the obstacle course that served as the Blood Rite Qualifier. And then winning the actual Blood Rite itself while Nesta -- unyielding, unflinching -- held the lines for Gwyn and Emerie to be crowned as Carynthians.

And now, Nesta and Cassian's mating ceremony. Despite everything she was feeling, Gwyn was happy for her friend.

Her sister by choice.

She knew Nesta deserved Cassian as he did her, and she felt genuine happiness for the pair. It was obvious during the long months of initial, grueling training that there was a spark between the two. An attraction that could not be denied.

She longed to find that love though in truth Gwyn knew she might never be ready for it.

Her point was further proven yesterday when Nesta had invited them during a break in training to her mating ceremony, held in a week's time. Gwyn knew that preparations were already underway and she was as honored and grateful as Emerie to be invited, but still she had hesitated, especially at the list of invited and accepted guests.

It wasn't mortifyingly long since Nesta only wanted close friends and family and Cassian only wanted the High Lord, Rhysand and Azriel, but the guest was filled with important names that made Gwyn nervous just to hear them.

The High Lord and High Lady were enough to make her dizzy. And then there was the High Lord's Second and Third, both formidable females in their own right. Gwyn thought wryly though that Emerie had seemed flustered and even blushed a little when her ears caught on a certain someone's name in the list Nesta had shared.

She was happy for her friend too. Emerie deserved friendship -- and love, if that relationship could blossom. But she knew better than interfere when her own relationships were so precarious.

The Prince of Adriata was coming, along with Mother above, the High Lord of the Day Court, Helion. Nesta's younger sister Elain was on the list as well though Nesta's face had clouded a bit when she read her name out loud. And then there was her mate -- Lucien Vanserra.

The supposedly exiled son of the High Lord of Autumn, who had ties to numerous Courts and was a valuable ally.

It was silly and stupid but amidst this sea of important names, Gwyn had wondered on more than one occasion what she could even do there. She had immediately scolded herself mentally, that she would be attending the ceremony for Nesta and even Cassian, who had become a bit of an older brother figure to her, and she would have Emerie with her.

She knew Emerie would fight anyone who dared to even look at her the wrong way.

But the larger part of Gwyn was scared. So many people would be attending, especially the males. It wasn't as if Helion or Lucien would randomly pounce on her, and that her fear was irrational, but she couldn't stop thinking about them. Couldn't stop thinking about that day where so many males surrounded her, where that hateful Hybern commander had ordered her held down, had pummeled into her as silent tears fell down her face, had laughed in her face and --

Gwyn counted the stars in the sky in time to her quickened breathing. Deep breaths, she told herself. When she couldn't sleep on nights like these she would train until nearly the breaking of dawn. She should get up from her position on the ground.

Probably.

But lying on the cold floor of the training area atop the House of Wind was a refreshing change. After having been coped up in the library for two years, she had finally decided to join Nesta in her morning training sessions with Cassian.

It was quite possibly the best decision she had ever made.

But still... But still, the doubt lingered. It festered. It thrived on her pain and self-hatred, quietly growing on nights like these.

It thrived at the fact that Emerie had accepted the invitation immediately, but Gwyn, worthless, selfish Gwyn had not. Was she so pathetic that she couldn't even congratulate her friend on her special day?

She should really get up. Perhaps train a bit more, instead of lying here wallowing in her dark thoughts.

Then a tiny tendril of shadow-kissed power gently prodded her arm. She startled, turning around and half-getting up.

She already knew who would be standing before her with his usual contemplative silence.

Azriel.

He was before her and she froze for one second. A twinge of fear crept in at his closeness, at the nearness of another male, so suddenly and unpredicted --

Azriel took a step back, saying softly, "I'm sorry if I surprised you."

Gwyn blinked. The shadowsinger was nothing but the epitome of manners and he had likely scented her fear.

"It's fine." And that was true. Her fear had instantly washed away as abruptly as it had arrived upon realizing who was here.

Azriel would never hurt her, Gwyn was sure of that.

She cleared her throat, trying to get rid of the awkward silence that had descended.

"Are you here for something?" She winced slightly at her choice of words. This was his home. She had no right to even utter such a question when she was the outsider.

Before Azriel could reply, another shadow darted out and wrapped itself around her arm before rushing back to its master. Gwyn felt the corners of her lips twitched up as the shadowsinger blinked once, twice in... shock.

"Did you forget your favorite dagger again?" She teased and was rewarded with a faint blush on his cheeks. His lovely and if she dared say, adorable shadows had given her the courage she needed.

To her surprise, he played along. "Have you seen an eighteen-inch dagger anywhere?"

Gwyn burst out laughing at the ridiculous statement.

"May I remind you that it's a dagger you have misplaced -- not a sword?"

"Forgive me if my memory fails sometimes." Was she seeing things or was there a twinkle in his eyes?

"Well, you do seem to forget things rather easily." Oh, she was certain! Amusement ran deep inside his hazel eyes and Gwyn felt breathless for a second, mesmerized by the beautiful male.

Staring into his eyes... She smiled at him, a genuine crinkling of her eyes. He had lifted her mood within seconds of his arrival.

Azriel seemed to freeze for a second, his usual stillness somehow magnifying. Intensifying. His shadows writhed around and she had the odd feeling that he was struggling to control them.

She blinked, and the moment passed.

"Were you training?" Azriel motioned towards her sweaty body. She nodded mutely, still caught up in what had occurred. Was it just her imagination? Looking at the stoic Illyrian standing before her, Gwyn decided she was just too tired, and her mind was playing tricks on her.

"...My help?"

Gwyn snapped out of her thoughts, head jerking up. "What?"

Azriel cocked an eyebrow at her obvious inattentiveness and she felt herself blushing. She chided herself mentally.

"Do you require my help?" He repeated the question, that faint amusement still dancing in his eyes.

"Wait. Are you asking to train me?" Another eyebrow raise.

"Were you expecting me to teach you the benefits of lying on the cold floor in the middle of the night?" He replied dryly.

Gwyn scowled and immediately stood up.

"Uh-huh. I was expecting you to fling your arms about and start serenading me."

"Is that a demand?" Azriel chuckled quietly. Gwyn thought that might be the most heavenly sound she had ever heard.

"Is that a challenge?" Gwyn shot back, not missing a beat.

The corners of his lips twitched up. Gwyn wanted to wipe that smirk off his face, her competitive streak setting in. She was also excited for this match because truth be told, she had been training everyday in anticipation of wiping the floor with the shadowsinger. It was her secret fantasy.

Not that it would happen anytime still but... Still.

"You can help me with my training. But on one condition."

Azriel contemplated her more seriously before he nodded his head.

"We fight now. Hand-to-hand."

~~~

The night was alive.

And Gwyneth Berdara was the full moon that accompanied it, shining brightly even amidst the darkness. She was so lovely, yet he sensed something pure and burning thriving inside her. His shadows yearned to flit around her, touch her, dance and sing for her. He had to keep them on a tight leash, and they were unhappy.

Little tendrils of darkness swirled around him petulantly. They wanted to go to Gwyn. Would have gone to her without his intervention. One stray thread snuck out and nearly coiled around Gwyn's wrist before he snatched it back in time. He could have sworn his own shadows growled at him. But he had bigger things to focus on.

Like the fact that Gwyn had just challenged Azriel to a duel.

Once again, his shadows had failed to mention that she was here. There was no quick escape that didn't end in awkwardness so he had stayed -- and so far he was... contented. Being around her seemed to have that effect on himself.

She was humming to herself as she stretched, preparing her body before their fight. His shadows buzzed around excitedly, seeming to forget about their earlier disagreement. He supposed there was no question who they were rooting for.

"Ready?" He asked Gwyn. She nodded, then held up a hand.

"Wait." She retied her ponytail, not letting even a single strand of her coppery chestnut obstructing her vision. He admired her competitiveness, her courage and strength in always fighting for the best.

Meeting her by chance here again reminded him of solstice, and his mind wandered to Elain before he slammed down his thoughts.

Focus. He had watched and trained Gwyn enough to know that she was a threat: an emerging dark horse that proved unpredictable and cunning. He also knew she had silently studied his fighting style enough to know more than just a few of his preferred tricks.

They circled each other, neither one of them making the first move.

He had drilled into her what signs to look out for, what feints and what blockings would be an unexpected yet effective counterattack that he was more than a little wary.

Still, he decided to make the first move, which was so out of his usual style that he hoped she would be unprepared. He had the feeling that she already knew he was going to attack first though as she sidestepped him and threw a punch.

Like he was expecting. He grabbed it and pulled her towards him to jilt her balance, but she was already expecting that and swept out her leg, forcing him to move unless he wanted to end up on the ground. The next move he had perfected to mastery.

He pretended to feint left when he was actually aiming for the left. A cheap shot, but he had also taught her that no real fights were clean and honest. She twisted her body but they both knew she wouldn't dodged in time.

At the last moment, his shadows decided to move and --

Capture his fucking hand. They wrapped themselves around him and his eyes widened as he was stopped mid-throw by his own shadows. The scenario would have been laughable if he wasn't in so much disbelief. They had never outright hindered him in any battles before.

He cursed, barely dodging the next kick Gwyn sent his way. They broke apart again and Gwyn asked, "Something wrong?" She glanced towards his wayward shadows and he had a strong feeling she knew.  

He shook his head, glaring at his swirling shadows. They just blinked up at him innocently.

Don't hurt her. Don't hurt her. Lovely mistress lovely mistress lovely mistress.

He gritted his teeth. Their fancy for Gwyn had reached the point of obsession but she didn't seem to mind. In fact, she squinted and then broke into a grin.

"Aha. I thought I saw your little friends earlier." At her words, his shadows flew towards her joyfully, happy to be recognized. Azriel rubbed his neck as his shadows neared Gwyn, knowing that she had to secretly hate them for being so ugly and tainted and unworthy --

Gwyn bent down. What she did next would stay in his memories forever. Holding out an arm, she let his shadows coiled around the entire length, wisps of midnight trailing her as she walked towards Azriel.

His shadows were happier than he had ever known them to be. He could feel their joy with every step she took, sense the way they were telling him to look look look look.

Then Gwyn smiled at him, her teal eyes so clear and large.

"Your shadows are beautiful."

~~~

"Your shadows are beautiful."

Azriel stood still. His entire body was frozen, and even his heart seemed to cease its beating.

Gwyn took a step back at whatever expression was on his face. What she said... Did she understand that what she said -- no one had ever deigned to voice before?

Did she look at his hideous soul and scarred hands?

Did she see how truly stained he was?

He wanted to believe she did. He had never wanted something more than Gwyn seeing him, truly seeing him be true. But if it were true...

How could his shadows be beautiful?

"I'm -- I'm sorry for stepping out of line." She stuttered out, her eyes wide.

Azriel glanced up sharply, snapped out of his trance. She looked horrified and was stammering out another apology, her pitch high and wobbly.

Shit.

Before he could process what he was saying, words tumbled out of his mouth, aided by the push of an impatient shadow desperate to right all things wrong.

"It is I who should be apologizing." His voice was a soft whisper in the night breeze. Gwyn paused halfway through her long speech and she stood there gaping at him.

"I am sorry, Gwyn." Azriel truly was. He could feel the shame gnawing at him. Yet another mistake. Yet another disappointment. He was a lowly half-breed bastard. His "little friends" curled around his tightening fists anxiously. He could not quite meet her eyes as chagrin dragged him down and whispered,"I should not have reacted the way I did."

He did not know what to expect. The infamous spymaster that was Azriel could never anticipate any of Gwyn's actions. She was an enigma, a mystery that constantly evaded him, the light at the end of the tunnel that shied away from him at every twist and turn.

He saw Gwyn take a deep breath from his peripheral vision and steeled himself. He gathered the remnants of his scattered mask, ready to return to just the High Lord's spymaster.

And then Gwyn spoke.

"I... I do not know your story. I do not know the dark tales that define your past. But I know you. And I know that whatever it is... It does not define you. It does not define the male I see standing before me. It cannot define the male who saved my very life, who --" Here her voice caught and she had to stop for a moment.

Azriel's heart clenched painfully. He did not know why but... He wanted to hug her and show her that her past had never defined her. Not for him, not for Nesta or Emerie and he wanted her to know that it shouldn't for herself.

"Who placed that cloak upon me with such gentle hands." She continued softly, gazing down at his scarred palms. And for the first time in a sea of forever, Azriel did not feel the urge to hide his shadow-kissed hands. Those same shadows began to swirl towards Gwyn and she did not flinch.

She only continued staring at him with those eyes that could see through everything. Did he want them to see through him? Yes.

She sees. And she is not afraid. Azriel's shadows basked them in a cocoon of living darkness.

"I refuse to let your past define you. I do not accept that. So fight. Your story... even if it never comes to me, there is nothing it can tell me that I don't already know. You are brave, thoughtful and so, so kind. You and Cassian trusted me to survive and conquer the Rite as you two had trusted Nesta and Emerie. If not then both of you would have stormed in immediately, and no law could have overruled you. So please... Please believe in me like you did. Just this once, if nothing else." Gwyn finished a little breathlessly and he knew she had rushed through the last part because she was nervous.

But somehow the bit that stuck out to him was her thinking he used to believe in her. He did, but used to? He still did. And he wanted her to know that, more than anything. He wanted Gwyn to know that he had never stop believing in her.

And seeing Gwyn's crestfallen face as each second passed and he still remained silently, he knew she was thinking the worst.

He wanted her smile back. His shadows wanted that too.

But more than anything, they both wanted her to sing again. And looking at her dispirited expression, at that moment even his shadows were unsure whether she would find her voice again.

She had spilled her thoughts to him, and he was standing there like an idiot.

Your words, Azriel. Use your words.

His shadows were begging him to say something. Anything, please please please.

As she turned to leave, he finally found his voice. The voice she unknowingly helped him find.

"Gwyn, I'm sorry -- please wait." She paused, hesitating as her eyes met his. Azriel did not know what to say. He was incapable of saying anything but "sorry", that word so pathetic and useless. Sorry was not enough when Rhys was captured by Amarantha. Sorry was not enough when Feyre was forced to sacrifice herself for their -- for his sake. Sorry was not enough when Elain was taken away by the Cauldron in the middle of the night.

Sorry had never been enough and never would be. Azriel was a stupid, foolish idiot.

"Azriel." Gwyn spoke his name softly. He tore himself away from his useless thoughts and looked at her.

She... did not look upset. She did not look angry, nor sad, nor frustrated. Instead, understanding lay in those warm teal eyes.

"I'm not pushing you to share about yourself. You are not obliged to just because I rambled on about my thoughts." Gwyn's eyes were indeed filled with apology and remorse though she had a small smile.

"You will always be my friend. And I will wait for you, even if the day you want to share about yourself never comes. Because I know you will do the same for me."

Somehow, in that moment when even time seemed to have held its breath, when even the Mother seemed to be watching, Azriel felt something in him shifted. In the distant, he could have sworn a phoenix's song filled his veins, a song of smothered flames and shadows.

"Besides, I think the silent, brooding type fits you better than Cassian's I-wrecked-one-tiny-unimportant-useless-building hotheadedness." Gwyn teased.

The distant calling seemed to grow louder, and Azriel could have sworn --

He could have sworn that a faraway glow beckoned him. And his shadows were more restless than ever, nearly tearing away from their master in their excitement.

So when Gwyn grinned at him, he smiled back.

The stars twinkling overhead seemed to beam back too. For the first time in a long while, Azriel felt contented. It was a feeling he had not experienced since... Since solstice. And back then he was with Gwyn, too, he realized abruptly. It was this female before him who had brought him not once, but twice such longed-for peace and quiet.

Gwyn was wrong. It was not his shadows who were beautiful.

It was her.

It was the Valkyrie who had walked beside Death -- and never cowered.

Never feared, never faltered.

Gwyneth Berdara was a secret, lovely beauty.

Sorry for any grammatical errors (or just errors in general) since I’m writing on my own right now. Thanks for reading and stay tune for part 2 <3

Updated comment: Hi guys, so I added a new bit about Azriel’s reaction. I was planning out the whole story so it’s taking a while and I’m sorry about the wait. I’m nearly done with planning things out chapter-by-chapter so part 2 is on its way. Thank you for staying with me 

xoxo

Dawn ~

[chai-tealattae]

Pen Pals

soul mate /ˈsōl ˌmāt/

noun; a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

✒️ Pairing: Taehyung x reader

✒️ Genre: Fluff

✒️ Word Count: 2.4k

✒️ Warnings: Swearing

A/N: This is my first fic pls be nice AKSDK

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep. Tomorrow was your 21st birthday, the day your soulmate connection would be revealed to you. You’d heard stories from your parents, family friends, and even some of your friends that were a year or two older than you about the different connections. What if you got one that would make it damn near impossible to find them? What if your soulmate was older than you, and already knew, but gave up since you were too young? You sighed and laid flat on your back, staring at the ceiling, giving up on your futile attempts at a decent night's sleep, your mind hot with the different scenarios baking within it.

The next morning, you groaned and begrudgingly swung your legs over the side of your bed, stretching as you opened the curtains, the mid morning sunlight flooding into your room. You cringed slightly at the brightness, your eyes struggling to adjust. Yawning as you walked into your kitchen, deciding on a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Scrolling through your phone as you ate, you smiled as you read the birthday wishes from your friends and family. After replying to as many as you felt like doing, you opened Twitter to see what fresh hell awaited you on your timeline. Surprisingly there wasn't really anything bad being mercilessly tweeted about.

The one thing that caught your eye was the lovely photo on your screen, tweeted a couple hours ago, staring back at you. It was embarrassing how infatuated you were with a certain man by the name of Kim Taehyung. He was the perfect man, in all honesty, by your standards at least. He was devilishly handsome yet charmingly adorable from the tip of his nose down to his toes, the smallest details all adding to the things that caused him to worm his way into your heart.

You smiled as you saved the picture to your camera roll before setting your phone down on the table. Your smile quickly turned into a surprised squeak as you felt an oddly ticklish sensation on your wrist, and you stared down at it in shock. Appearing on your skin before your eyes was writing, but it wasn't just any writing. It was a greeting.

“Hello?”

This must be it, your soulmate bond. You didn’t know anyone personally with this particular bond, but you’d read about it through your countless nights of curiosity and excitement driven research.

You nearly tripped on your own feet as you scrambled to find some kind of writing utensil, eager to respond to the stranger. Not just a stranger. Your soulmate. You felt your heart rate quicken just at that thought. You found a pen on your counter, quickly scribbling a response below their message.

“Hello!” You wrote back. Not 30 seconds later, you felt the tickling sensation again, impatiently tapping your pen on the counter as you awaited their response.

“It’s you! You’re finally getting my notes!” You smiled to yourself, your late night suspicion confirming itself. They were definitely older than you, but hopefully not by much. You’d hate if you left your soulmate waiting for too long for you.

“How long have you been trying?” You wrote, a little smaller this time near the ditch of your elbow, so you wouldn’t take up too much valuable space on your skin. You bit your lip as you felt your skin tingle again, hoping it wasn’t too bad-

“Four years” Four years. Four whole years they’d been writing on themselves with no response. You sighed, feeling awful. Well, at least you knew how old they were. Twenty-five, twenty-six tops, if their birthday was coming up sometime soon.

“I'm sorry you waited so long… today is my 21st birthday” you wrote back, twisting your arm at a slightly awkward angle as you did this. You smiled softly, growing familiar with, and anticipating the feeling as they wrote.

“Happy birthday :)” Was written there. You smiled and wrote your thanks, not really sure how to proceed with finding them. You’d read that there were specific guidelines when it came to the different connections, things you weren’t able to do, since that would make finding your soulmate too easy. Things like their exact location, names, things of that nature. The catch is, you were able to reveal that when you were in the same vicinity. As if trying to find them wouldn’t be hard enough.

Over the next month or so, you’d learned that your soulmate was a man that was born in South Korea (you didn’t know how you’d ever be able to swing a trip there, or vice versa). You learned that he enjoyed drawing, painting, photography, singing and dancing. He was fun to talk to (at least until there wasn't any more space on either of your bodies for more ink). He had a pretty time consuming career from what he told you, but he still liked to draw you pictures to wake up to, or write you little good morning messages. You found yourself becoming incredibly fond of him, even without ever seeing his face.

One day, you found yourself staring at your laptop and phone screens, focusing excruciatingly hard on trying to score tickets to see BTS in your city. After nearly missing the opportunity, and a decent amount of money you’d surely have to pull quite a bit of overtime to make up for, you scored a decent seat for their show in a couple months. Eager to share the news with someone, you wrote on your arm.

“I just got tickets to see BTS!!” You wrote with a shaky hand, your already poor penmanship suffering even more. This would be your first time seeing them, seeing the man you’d had your eyes on for so long.

~~~~~

Taehyung smiled when he felt you were writing or perhaps drawing something for him. He loved reading your short messages about your day, getting to know you. Over the past months he was growing more and more impatient, half tempted to fly to the States and wing it. His heart nearly thudded out of his chest when he read what you wrote.

“I just got tickets to see BTS!!”

Holy shit. This was good. This was great, actually. Now he knew you were a fan. Jimin looked over when he saw the stupid grin plastered on his bandmate’s face.

“What is it, Taehyung-ah?” He asked. Taehyung didn’t answer verbally, just angled his arm so Jimin could see what you wrote. He broke into his own smile. “Oh this is good! Maybe you're closer to meeting her than you thought.” He said, patting the younger man’s back. Taehyung smiled with a nod, you being the only thing occupying his mind at the moment.

~~~~~

It was the day of your concert and you could barely contain your excitement. You barely slept the night before, knowing you would be exhausted, but couldn't find it in yourself to care all too much. You’d been waiting for what seemed like forever for this day, and weren't going to let anything, not even your lack of sleep, ruin it for you.

The day seemed to drag even longer than usual, before you figured it was a good time to start getting ready. You got dressed in an outfit that you purchased specifically for this event, a more affordable version of the Dior outfits Rap Line sported during their performances of Tear, and you put on your TaTa headband as the final touch. You know, so everyone knew specifically who you were there for. You looked at yourself in the mirror one last time, smiling and letting out an excited squeak as you grabbed everything you would need, before you made your way to the venue.

The venue was absolutely packed. There was no way you’d be able to even get any merch without missing half the concert standing in that line. You sighed quietly to yourself and went to your seat, busying yourself with syncing your lightstick so it would light up with everyone else's. You looked around from your seat, in awe about how many people were here. Crazy how many people could fit into one space.

While you waited for the concert to start, you decided to write him a message about how excited you were, and that you would keep him updated throughout the show. You decided to draw a small heart on your hand, in the space between your pointer finger and thumb, just because. You smiled when you saw his words appear on your arm.

“Have fun <3”

Oh, you would. You would have the time of your life. Little did you know, in more ways than one.

~~~~

Taehyung knew you had to be here somewhere. You just had to be. He ran a hand through his perfectly groomed hair, effectively rendering his stylist’s hard work useless. He couldn’t help it. Not when he knew his soulmate was in this building. His mind started to race. What if you didn’t want to be with him? What if you liked one of the other members better than him? What if you couldn’t deal with his lifestyle? He was pacing now, and everyone but him seemed to notice.

“Taehyung-ah, relax. I’m sure everything will work out fine.” Namjoon smiled reassuringly. Taehyung nodded and let out a breath, sitting down. They were called to start getting into position, and Taehyung knew he had to do it, now or he wouldn’t have time, and you would slip through his fingers. He pulled out his pen, writing one word on his forearm in larger than usual letters. He put his pen in his pocket, heading to where his microphone and earpieces were waiting for him, hoping you would see his message.

~~~~~

When the concert started, you could barely focus on anything else other than the men on stage in front of you. You felt the familiar tickle on your arm that your soulmate had written you, though you ignored it for the time being. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of Taehyung, witnessing his incredible stage presence and the massive amount of fan service he was giving was mesmerising, to say the least.

When time for the intermission came around, and the VCRs played on the big screens, you took a moment to see what your soulmate wrote to you. You gasped when you saw the big, capital letters spread along the length of your forearm.

“TAEHYUNG”

There was no way. Absolutely no fucking way. Kim Taehyung was not your soulmate. You had to have been some sort of saint in your previous life to deserve such treatment from the universe. You stared at your arm for a few more seconds in complete disbelief, before taking your pen out of your pocket, writing your name under his on your arm. A minute later, you felt him writing, and you anxiously chewed at your lip as you awaited his response.

“Where are you?”

You hurriedly scribbled your section and seat number, your brain barely able to process what was happening.

Within 5 minutes, there was a man approaching you, asking you to confirm your name. When you did, he told you to come with him, you did without asking any questions. The man led you backstage, and you looked around, frantically trying to find the familiar face in the crowd of stage hands.

When your eyes finally met his, you felt like you couldn’t breathe. Was it anxiety? Excitement? A spicy mixture of both? You couldn’t really tell, but there were some things you needed to see. His long legs effortlessly closed the distance between you, until you were standing toe to toe. You looked up at him and he looked down at you, neither of you truly believing you were here at this moment. You studied his face for a moment, then without a word, you took his hands, inspecting them. There it was. You brought your hand up and compared, the tiny heart you drew on your hand matching the one on his. He rolled up his sleeves, revealing the messages you’d written to each other throughout the day.

“Y/N…” He said quietly, only loud enough that you could hear. “I finally found you. You’re even more beautiful than I imagined.”

“I can’t believe it’s you.” You said as you looked up at him, tears beginning to form in the corners of your eyes.  He smiled and brought his hand to gently cup your cheek, his thumb lightly brushing against your cheekbone.  

“Are you disappointed?” He asked with a chuckle, his tone teasing. You shook your head, letting out a quiet laugh.

“Not even a little bit.” You reassured him, smiling softly. He gave you a toothy grin before leaning down and closing the small space between you, and you couldn’t help but melt when his lips finally met yours. The kiss was soft and careful, as if he was testing the waters. When you pushed slightly against his lips, he deepened the kiss just a little more.

He was the first to pull away, seemingly remembering his surroundings, and you caught the faintest tint of pink creep onto his face. It was almost time for him to go back on stage, and he rested his forehead against yours for a moment, his eyes locked with yours as he intertwined your fingers with his.

“Wait for me? I plan to talk to you for hours, now that I can finally hear your voice.” He said, and you nodded without hesitation. He smiled widely before pressing a kiss to your forehead, jogging off to wherever it was he was needed. You sat on the couch that was there for the members beside the stage, running a hand through your hair. Never in your wildest dreams did you think something like this could happen. Not to you, at least. You felt him writing again, and this time, you paid full attention to the words appearing along your arm.

“I love you.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you read those 3 words, pulling out your pen and writing your response.

“I love you too.” You wrote, carefully, easily readable. Never had you meant something more in your life. You couldn’t wait for him to come back to you, for him to execute his plan. After what felt like a very long time, you couldn’t wait to finally begin your life with the man you happily called your soulmate.

[missskzbiased]

I Hate That I’m Afraid to Love You (18)

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, Fluff, College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader  X Han X OC

WC: ~ 4,4K

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Masterlist

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack, Alcohol, Food), Suggestiveness

Notes: If anyone got the notification, please tell me 😭 If you guys want to get notifications (hopefully) please go here

Updates: Tuesdays

                                                         ////

   There were a lot of rumors going on right now.

    You prided yourself on not being the type to care about rumors and things like this but being in the center of so many of those in the last few days made it impossible for you to not be at least curious. The whispers had been obvious for a while now ─ particularly after Paris’ performance ─ and you couldn’t help but wonder how people could have so much free time in their hands and use it like that.

    You should have known, though.

    It was more than obvious that befriending Chan and Hyunjin would put you in the spotlight and it was bound to lead to dumb rumors at some point. You just didn’t expect them to be so dumb. Although you must have heard about hundreds of versions up to now, the core of all of them was pretty simple to catch: Love affairs and intrigue. That was what those incredible undergraduate brains could do with all of their loose imagination and wisdom.    

    You could kinda grasp why people thought you were dating Chan. You really could. You were pretty close with each other so it was logical for people to misunderstand your relationship… The thing is that you had been like this with Chan for ages now and no one ever had commented anything about it ─ at least not to this extent ─ so the real question here was pretty simple: Why now?

    “Hey” You lifted your eyes from the counter, meeting Hyunjin’s ones “Daydreaming at work?” He chuckled, leaning on the surface as he rested his face on his hand, studying you closely.

    Well… Then there was that too.

    Not only you were dating Chan but you were also cheating on him with Hyunjin… So maybe you could understand why people thought you were with Chan but where did this come from? It didn’t make any sense. First of all, they’re best friends living together! How the hell would you two-time Chan right under his roof with his best friend?! Second of all, you didn’t give away any hint on feeling something for Hyunjin! And he didn’t show anything similar for you either!

    No. Fucking. Sense.

    “Yeah…” You agreed mindlessly, mimicking his position to stare into his eyes “What about you? Why are you here?” You asked curiously, tilting your head as he smiled fondly at you; face too close for you to completely catch his shrug.

    “Can’t I drop by to see a friend?” He asked in a teasing tone “I should just have gone to see Paris… She treats me way better than you” He joked; hand reaching to fix a strand behind your ear “I should know you were just going after my body…” He sighed mockingly, chuckling as you rolled your eyes and tried to get away from his touch.

    “Stop it” You hissed “You know people are talking about us!” You frowned, getting a laugh as an answer. He leaned even closer, prompting you to lean back, trying to get more space between the both of you “You might like being the center of the attention but I don’t, Hyunjin” You mumbled, pushing him lightly so he would take a step back.

    “I didn’t think you were the type to care about what people thought about you” He pointed out, leaning back anyway “What are you worrying about? Do you think Chan will misunderstand us?” You weren’t really sure but his tone sounded a little bitter right there, and you couldn’t help but narrow your eyes.

    There was something wrong with Hyunjin these days…

    You were under the impression that he had been the target of those kinds of rumors throughout all his life and yet he was acting weirdly. Although he was quite playful about it ─ and by playful you meant flirty and touching ─, he also had those moments where he seemed to… Overthink? You weren’t really sure what was going on.

    It was like he couldn’t help but grimace each time you and Chan were mentioned on those. He seemed pretty okay in being the center of the rumors… Whether it was you or Paris, he didn’t seem to mind when either of you was pictured with him but he got clearly upset when Chan was involved. You were not sure if it was just his overprotective self over Chan or if he was suspicious of something going on between both of you while he knew the other rumors were just bullshit.

    He probably believed that both of you were hiding things from him. Again. You honestly had no idea why your friends had so much of a hard time understanding the things you said. You and Chan would never have anything! You were best friends, for Lord’s sake! And that was it.

    No. Romantic. Feelings. At. All.

    “There is nothing to misunderstand here, Hyunjin” You sighed “You and I have nothing going on and neither do I and Chan” You explained for the hundredth time already “Not wanting to fuel the rumors isn’t the same as caring about them” You added, grimacing at him in a matter-of-fact way that made him scoff.

    “I see…” He hummed, staring into your eyes for a second too long “Well… Anyway, I came here for a new book” He clarified, placing the last one he borrowed on the counter “This one was pretty good but I still preferred the first you lent me” He added, drumming his fingers on the book’s cover “I was wondering if you don’t have any other indications” He shrugged, averting his eyes from yours.

  “Oh? I thought you were a slow reader” You arched your brows in surprise, taking the book from the counter while looking at him “Are you sure you read that one?” You joked, chuckling.

   “I guess you still have a lot to learn about me” He giggled, leaning once more on the counter “Maybe if you started to pay attention to me instead of listening to those rumors…” He let the sentence hang in the air teasingly, smirking as you rolled your eyes “Or maybe we should start dating to give them a reason to talk” He chuckled, wiggling his brows at you.

   “Great 5th grade way to think” You praised him mockingly, giving him a thumbs-up as you pressed the book against your chest and made your way to the shelf it was supposed to be on “Do you have any genre in mind?” You asked mindlessly, checking the codes to match the book.

    “Surprise me” He joked, trying to do an awkward French accent that made you look funnily at him “Oh, come on… Ratatouille? No? Really?” He nagged, mumbling displeased as you giggled at his antics.

    You turned on the aisle, eyes roaming around as he followed you closely behind, gaze wandering around the many books displayed on the shelves. You put the one you were holding back in its place, humming as you studied the content on the shelves. He hummed along with you, playfully leaning closer to your ear as he pretended to be invested in looking for something to read.  

    His presence sent shivers all the way down your body.

    No… Not his presence.

    It was the setting… Yes, it had to be it.

    The library had that mysterious ancient vibe that thrilled you… The brownish solid colors surrounding everything in a majestic framing that made you feel too small… The hard-covered books’ scent in the air, a full-bodied heaviness that seemed to clamp you… The dim lighting that revealed each scattering mote fluttering around, agitated by the soft huff Hyunjin let out… The warmth that crept into your bones as you held your breath for just a half-second…

    It wasn’t him.

    The way your heart rammed against your chest had nothing to do with his presence… Nor it had anything to do with his hands slowly making their way to the shelves, trapping you between him and the books… And you were almost too sure that the cloudy thoughts flickering in your mind and the fluttering sensations in your stomach ─ that forced you to swallow dryly ─ had something to do with your skipped meal but, again, not with him.

    “Someone looks nervous” He whispered and somehow his breathing seemed to tighten your chest and quicken your heart pace once more. You could see both of his hands right in front of you and yet it felt like he was embracing you… The way you had to force your eyes open wasn’t a good sign to your brain “All stiff and…” He continued; voice purposely teasingly “… Panting” He added, a hint of amusement under his tone.

    “Stop joking around…” You managed to say, lips quivering as he chuckled huskily. Although you could feel his warmth and presence clearly, there was no inch of skin ─ except his chin making its way to rest on your shoulder ─ to seal the deal. It felt intimate yet distant… It felt like you were supposed to laugh it off but you didn’t want to.

    “It doesn’t need to be a j—“ He couldn’t finish what he was going to say, interrupted by a gasp that had both of your heads snapping at the side. There, facing the aisle with mouth fully agape and widened eyes, was someone who was bound to spread some more rumors around.

    “I-I’m sorry” They blurted out “I-I didn’t mean to interrupt” They rushed to say, clearing their throat before turning around, utterly flustered by what they thought to have witnessed. You groaned, resting your forehead on the shelf before flicking Hyunjin’s nose, pushing him away for you to look for a new book.

    “Read this” You spat, shoving a random one into his hands.

                                                          ////

    Your thoughts were filled with Hyunjin.

    Although your eyes were fixed on the TV, you couldn’t care less about whatever was going on there. The voices sounded like a buzz in the back of your head and the image was almost too blurry for you to understand but Paris’ distinct laughter was a good cue for you to laugh at some joke you didn’t listen to. Whether it was your chuckle sounding too fake or too off time, she seemed to notice that something was going on inside your head.

    She didn’t even say anything, pausing the show before looking straight at you with a questioning look, arching her brow as she waited for you to say something. There was it… The two-path road. You could either tell her that it was nothing ─ and she would probably narrow her eyes at you until you made up a random excuse ─ or you could actually tell her what has been on your mind lately ─ and then you would have to put up with the insufferable Paris state.

    Too late to back off now… You should have paid attention to the show.

    You glanced at her ─ unsure about what to say or do at a moment like this ─, biting your lip as you blinked a few times to buy some time to decide what you were going to do. You knew Paris well enough to predict her reaction… As soon as you said that you have been thinking a lot about all those rumors, she would instantly assume that you were worrying over it because you had some suppressed feelings that you were trying to hide.

    You just knew it.

    “So…” She stressed, still staring at you “What’s going on inside that little box of yours?” She joked, pointing at her own head before hugging her knees, sitting across you on the couch.

  Path N° 1: The finals are right there at the corner…

  Path N° 2: I can’t understand where all those rumors are coming from… I didn’t do anything suspicious with Chan or Hyunjin and suddenly people are talking behind our back. Either I messed up really bad about something and didn’t notice or someone misunderstood something I did… Or maybe it could be because Hyunjin has been flirting a lot lately! He pinned me against the wall thrice already. Do you think this is strange? I’m finding it a little odd... Maybe I’m being too sensitive over useless st–

  “Y/N?” Paris called you softly, tilting her head to the other side as if it could help her to see what was going on in your mind “Are you feeling okay? You seem a little bit… Off… Today” She said carefully, studying your features for a brief moment.

  “I’ve been thinking about the rumors…” You began hesitantly, checking for her reaction “Don’t you find it strange? I mean… You and Hyunjin had your rumors before but I hadn’t been dragged into this until now” You pointed out, shrugging “I find it odd that people are talking about me and Chan out of nowhere and… Well, talking like I’m hooking up with Hyunjin behind your back” You explained.

  Paris didn’t say anything at first, seeming surprised by your worries.

  “Well…” She cleared her throat “I mean… I have heard some things about you and Chan around… And you kinda… Well—“ She licked her lips, visibly stiffening up as she thought about what to say “You know? Some people saw you guys at the library… And you guys keep calling each other sweety and stuff…” She floundered her hand in the air as if it helped her to express it better “And you gave him your keys… And he slept here the whole week…” She trailed off.

    “What the fuck?” You blurted, surprised by all this “How do they even know about this?!” You frowned, wondering how many people heard all those kinds of stuff out of context and got to build up a rumor like this.

    “Yeah… Well, you guys aren’t really subtle” She chuckled nervously “And I think that you shouldn’t really have said that you guys used to… Have sex…” She practically whispered the last part, ashamed to talk about it “Before, you know? Especially on a party” She cleared her throat once more, fixing herself on the couch.

    You had what now?

    “I never said that” You frowned “I never had sex with Chan… I-“ You scowled in disgust “Why would I ever have sex with Chan? We’re literally best friends! He’s like a brother to me or something… Ew” You scrunched your nose, shaking your head to get rid of the thought “What made you think I had sex with him? What the fuck?” it would be an understatement to say that you were flabbergasted.

    “Well… You kinda did” She arched her brow, looking at you filled with confusion “You told us you used to hook up with Chan, remember?” She asked as if she was talking to a kid “At the party, you clearly said that you used to hook up with him…” She pursed her lips, raising her eyebrows matter-of-factly, almost as if she was trying to transfer her memories to you.

    “No, I most definitely didn’t say this” You grimaced at her, finding all the situation kinda odd, “I said I hooked up with Chan’s friend” You emphasized, returning the look to her “I would never say I hooked up with him… You distorting what I said” You blinked, staring at her in confusion as she gasped.

    “Oh! It was Chan’s friend!” She chortled “Well, so you should roast Chan! He interrupted you, and I think everyone understood the very same as me” She huffed, seeming to find the situation amusing “Oh my God… I’m pretty sure that was what triggered the rumors about you and Chan, to be honest” She mused, rubbing her chin thoughtfully.

    “I can’t believe you guys thought—“ You sighed in resignation “Well… Anyway, I’m not dating or fucking Chan” You said dismissively, already done with how all this had started “And what have you heard about Hyunjin? What started it all?” You deadpanned, waiting for some silly explanation once again.

  Paris stared blankly at you.

  “You’re kidding, right?” She sounded taken aback, looking at you as if you tried to make a bad joke. The way you stood silent, staring back at her in genuine curiosity, must have seemed really sincere because she chortled before answering you “Y/N, he literally kissed you at the stairs” She reminded you slowly, trying to get the words to sink into your head.

  She didn’t need to do much.

  You didn’t want to admit it ─ and you would refuse to for as long as you could ─ but that kiss… Fake kiss! That fake kiss… You couldn’t help but gulp down as you felt your senses being electrified just by the mention of it. How many times did you push aside that thought? How many times did you ignore the flickering thought in the back of your mind? How many times you could practically see him leaning in for a kiss?

  You licked your lips, biting them to restrain the turmoil inside your head.

  Of course, you weren’t blind… Hyunjin was a handsome piece of shit. You knew it even when you hated him. You knew it even when you didn’t want to acknowledge it… Even when you wanted to believe that it was just the popular opinion about him.

    Now, you couldn’t ignore how pretty he was.

    You weren’t quite sure if it was all in your mind ─ he did lean it too quickly for you to notice every single thing ─ but you could still feel the fire on his gaze as he made his move. You could remember how eager he was… Or at least, how eager you believed him to be as you were crushed against the wall and lost all the air inside your lungs. Was it just you being surprised? Was it the abruptness of the situation? Or did he really pin you against the wall as if his life depended on it? You surely felt like it was the last one… But could it be you the one who wanted to believe it for dear life?

    No, of course, not.

    The warmth of his hands still lingered there on your skin from time to time, and the soft pressure in your lips seemed to be carved at the back of your mind. You hated that sometimes you pressed your lips with your thumb ─ the same pressure though not the same way he did ─ just to snap out of it a second too late. You also couldn’t forget the way he tilted his head to deepen a kiss that didn’t really happen… The way the realization washed over you right at that second.

    It wasn’t disappointment… It was something else.

    You could still feel how his touch changed on that second… The hold was firm and consistent… It was like he didn’t want to let you go; like something just switched on his head and triggered something that felt so much like… You gulped down once more, still refusing to stress that thought out. The way your breaths mingled and hitched… Faltered… It was almost painful to know that it didn’t really happen.

    There was it…

    Desire and passion.

    The urges of a single woman who hadn’t been getting some in a while.

    “It was a fake kiss” You finally answered her but by now, Paris knew too damn well where your thoughts were wandering around a second earlier.

    “Yeah, but it seemed pretty real for anyone who took a glance at it” She reminded you, and the suggestive hint under her tone made you scoff “And I don’t want to say it—“

    “Then just don’t” You grimaced at her.

    “—But I think both of you were pretty into it even for a fake kiss…” She grinned at you teasingly, and the tired sigh that left your lips seemed to fuel her “I can remember quite well how you just let your hands right on his chest… I don’t recall you pushing him away, you know?” her grin spread all over her face “I think you enjoyed feeling him under your touch a whole lot…” She raised her eyebrows, throwing you a knowing look that made you huff, rubbing your face in distress.

    Why did she have to say that?!

    You clenched your fists, trying to suppress the memories that you didn’t need to have right now… So what if his chest felt so warm and firm under his shirt? So damn fine under your touch? What about the way the water droplets seemed to caress his tanned skin? So what if the very same droplets must have rolled down and down and down and… Well, all the way down from his throat to his collarbone to his chest to… You couldn’t help but lick your lips, shaking your head to dismiss the thought.

    It didn’t matter.

    The way he bought you coffee and waited for you on Monday? It didn’t matter. The way his damp hair gave him a sexy vibe that looked like a plead for being warmed up on a cold Tuesday? It didn’t matter. The way he was trying to impress you with good food? It didn’t matter. The way he kept visiting you at your work to ask for indications? It didn’t matter. The way he kept flirting and teasing you around? It didn’t matter.

  None of it mattered because Hyunjin had been pretty clear before.

  He wanted you as a friend.

  A good friend.

   “I think…” You trailed off, darting your eyes away from her “I may…” You gulped down, reconnecting your gazes before sighing heavily “I guess I’m feeling attracted to him…” You admitted.

    It probably wasn’t the reaction she was expecting because Paris just let her mouth hang open as her eyes widened, utterly in shock to hear it coming out of your mouth. You pursed your lips, feeling kinda embarrassed by her reaction, averting your gaze once more as you played with your own fingers, refusing to look at her. Was it that strange for you to feel… Well, some kind of silly attraction towards your stupidly handsome friend?

    You didn’t think so.

    “You don’t need to be so surprised… It’s not like I’m a criminal or something” You muttered, peeking at her for a split of a second before focusing on your hands once more “I think the fake kiss kinda… Awoke something? Like a tiny little spark or something… Nothing too important or any—“ You were just rambling at this point.

    “No!” She blurted, hands waving exaggeratedly in front of her body “I mean- Yes! I’m not… I mean… It’s not that I’m shocked, I’m just…” She floundered her hands around, trying to find the right words in her mind “I think it’s great!” She chortled “Oh my God… Yeah, I think it’s great! It’s great that you have a crush on him or something!” She chirped, and you couldn’t help but frown.

    “How is it great?” You asked warily “We’re literally just friends and he’s the hugest fuckboy we had ever met” You reminded her “There is nothing great in it… Actually, I think that’s the worst thought my brain had ever had” You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest.

    “He’s not that bad!” She retorted eagerly “He’s actually really sweet!” She added quickly, trying to convince you as she patted your knee “I mean… He’s smart! Isn’t he? You guys are always arguing in class!” You arched your brow at the distorted way to boost him “He also has good grades! I know you like smart guys” She threw you an insistent look.

  Well… You were not so sure the attraction had much to do with his brains.

    “He’s also really funny! You’re always laughing at things he says!” She kept her monologue “He also likes the foods you like! He’s always spending time at the hot dog stand! He even knows your favorite food by now!” She was so excited at all this that it was almost like she was selling him to you “He has an amazing taste for TV shows! I can testify that” She smiled proudly “And he’s also interested in your things! He’s reading the books you like and everything!”

    Yeah… She kinda had a point, to be honest.

    “You said yourself that he had been flirting! So… I mean- It has to mean something, right?” She asked filled with hope, looking at you expectantly “He wouldn’t flirt with someone he doesn’t like! So to the very least, he likes you!” She clasped her hands together, excited.

    “He has been flirting with me even when we hated each other” You pointed out skeptically, and she groaned in frustration.

    “Okay! He’s a fuckboy, I get it! Flirting is what he does” She rolled her eyes, impatient “But he hasn’t been fucking anyone for a while! He has a crush on someone and he’s being really romantic about it!” She insisted, making your chortle.

    “Yeah… Because not fucking people around when you like someone is a great romantic gesture” You sneered “You sound too… Eager to make your point” You narrowed your eyes, tilting your head in suspicion “You’re not being the usual…” You cleared your throat to imitate her “I ship you guys so much!” You chirped mockingly, clapping your hands repeatedly in a short and rapid motion “You’re… Did he tell your something?” You asked curiously.

  “What are you talking about?!” She asked in a high-pitched tone, snorting in a too anxious way to be natural “It’s just that you’ve never shown interest in anyone before! I’m excited!” She dismissed your thought, waving her hand at you “I’ve been waiting for this! The day you would talk to me about boys and stuff like this!” She whined, and for a moment she really did sound sincere enough for you to believe her.

    “It doesn’t matter anyway” You shrugged “You said so yourself… He’s been crushing on someone” You pointed out, uncrossing your arms and returning your gaze to the TV “Also, it’s not like I want to fuck him… Too much trouble, right? I know he isn’t the type to attach… He wouldn’t risk our friendship just to get his dick wet” You reasoned.

    “What if he’s crushing on you?” She asked unsurely, glancing at you.

    “Yeah, right!” You just laughed it off, gesturing for her to hit the play.

[leliesblou]

MFMM episode-related fics: Season 1

(Tumblr only allows 100 links per post, so I've split the original post into three posts.)

1. Untagged Season 1 episode-related fics: AO3 bookmark collection

Season 1 Bookmark Collection

How to navigate:

Go to Bookmarked Items

Use Bookmarker's tags under Filters to find fics for a specific episode

Feel free to add your own bookmarks to the collections, but please read the rules first :)

Note: Some of the fics in there are tagged. I already had my favourite episode-related fics bookmarked, so I figured I might as well add them to the collections too.

2. MFMM Season 1 episode-related fics in chapters of collections:

1. Cocaine Blues

Keen - Fic Off 2020, Chapter 26 by aurora-australis

240. Indifferent - 500 Words You Should Know, chapter 15 by Fire_sign

Just One Night - The Friday Phrack Series, Chapter 6 by RositaLG

at 1 am (Mac and Phryne) - Things You Said, chapter 11 by Fire_sign

when I was crying (Dot/Hugh) - Things you said, chapter 4 by Fire_sign

2. Murder on the Ballarat Train

Diamond *- You Asked For It, Chapter 350 by gaslightgallows

366. Pragmatic - 500 Words You Should Know, chapter 51 by Fire_Sign

Chapter 1 - Buoys and Ballast by Fire_sign

3. The Green Mill Murder

Peaches - Misc. Tape, Chapter 40 by aurora_australis

4. Death at Victoria Dock

A Ride Home - War Stories, Chapter 1 by RositaLG

5. Raisins and Almonds

Covet - Fic Off 2020, Chapter 7 by Arlome

Honour - Investigations, Chapter 30 by Deedeeinfj

Looks - You Asked For It, Chapter 5 by gaslightgallows

6. Ruddy Gore

Forearms and mussed Jack - Triptych, Chapter 1 by sarahtoo

7. Murder in Montparnasse

Eyes Wide Open - Addicted, Chapter 1 by Dispatch22705

Chapter 3 - Buoys and Ballast by Fire_sign

The Model - Fisher Mysteries: Outsider's POV, Chapter 1 by Sunshineditty

A New Life - Nightcaps and Other Notions, Chapter 2 by Dispatch22705

8. Away with the Fairies

(to be added)

9. Queen of the Flowers

(to be added)

10. Death by Miss Adventure

182. Fallacious - 500 Words You Should Know, Chapter 4 by Fire_Sign

Hidden Depth - Fic Off 2020. Chapter 29 by Arlome

Ash - Inktober Drabbles, Chapter 13 by @lechatnoir1918

Chapter 4 - Buoys and Ballast by Fire_Sign

11. Blood and Circuses

when you were scared (Phryne/Samson) - Things you said, Chapter 18 by Fire_Sign.

Convenience - You Asked For It, Chapter 175 by gaslightgallows

12. Murder in the Dark

Quickening - The 25 Days of Phrack, Chapter 8 by RositaLG

Coalesce - You Asked For It, Chapter 305 by gaslightgallows

Shadows - You Asked For It, Chapter 429 by gaslightgallows

One (not so) Gaudy Night - A Dram of Angst of an Evening, Chapter 2 by Arlome

13. King Memses' Curse

Anesthesia - The Land of Misfit Files, Chapter 18 by RositaLG

Chapter 5 - Buoys and Ballast by Fire_Sign

Juxtaposition - A Dram of Angst of an Evening, Chapter 3 by Arlome

Intimacy - Addicted, Chapter 2 by Dispatch22705

Chasing Shadows - The Friday Phrack Series, Chapter 9 by RositaLG.

Horizons - The Land of Misfit Files, Chapter 40 by RositaLG

I'll be updating this post, so if you see a reblogged version, click through to the original post to see any new additions.

Masterpost - Season 2 - Season 3

[tsukidrama]

hi!! i’ve been well thank you! i hope you’re well too!

(this ask is probably going to be long sorry)

i really like envy too! about that other character i haven’t seen her yet but i can’t wait to see her now. i’ll keep you updated!

i’ve been told to not watch the first version because it’s really different to the manga but now i’m really curious about it lmao. if i like the whole story i’ll probably watch the other version for lust. the difference seems interesting too!

it’s crazy how easy to forget how brutal the difference between annie’s life during the war and annie’s new life is, especially since it’s a positive difference! but it probably makes it harder to process it as the bad stuff is behind her now it’s normal she doesn’t want to think about it, though her dreams aren’t giving her a choice about that.

aah thank you!! well that’s good because i re-read one of your fics 😇! it’s the first part of “cold hands cold heart”, i think it’s one of my favourite fanfic of yours. i know i’ve mentioned your dialogues before but your descriptions are also so well written : “The crack of firelight that had illuminated a sliver of the wall disappears, and the only light in the room comes from the dim moonlight streaming through sheer curtains. The snow falling outside dims the already low light to almost pitch darkness.” and “Your heartbeat quickens as you gaze reverently at the sliver of moonlight outlining her side profile. The illuminated strands that fall across her face glow almost silver.” have to be my favourites, they really help get into the story and picture the scene, and this is a particularly beautiful scene. the story also develops very smoothly and we can feel annie slowly warming up (ha ha) to reader, but even as she opens herself she still feels guilty and need to keep some things to herself. i’m glad she accepted the hug from reader she really deserves all the hugs in the world (and a proper therapy). her stubborness is also funny!

by the way i was wondering, in the road not taken, is it it’s own story or does this exist as a “sequel” to other things you’ve written about annie?

i didn’t expect a full post about squid game thank you for taking the time to answer!! i very agree with your point of view. yelena in a game like this sounds very scary i’m not sure i’d sleep at night lmao. and you did a very accurate analysis of the show!! i usually only see posts about how each character acted, how people think they would act in the game or how their favourites characters would act without mentioning the context, which is vital to the story.

have a nice day!!

-j

never ever apologize!!! i love it so much & it gives me a chance for me to share ideas with people on main! usually i only type super long replies like this to my friends and it's nice to feel like other people are interested in what i have to say

i'm going to put most of my reply under the cut as not to clog anyone's dashboard, lol i rambled like a mf on this one

but first let me answer the question about the road not taken. actually, thank you so much for asking that because the answer is yes! not including this one and the pirate AU. so far cold hands, cold heart & the great hair massacre both share the same reader with TRNT. i have several ideas for more fics with her set during their training days, while annie's crystallized, and even when they reunite for the first time after she's out again. but i just got so excited that she didn't die and would live to be old that all other annie fic has been bumped to back burners.

she's worth the wait lol. i also really love their teacher!! izumi curtis love of my life

personally i really like it, you just can't expect it to be brotherhood or else you'll be disappointed. it's much more slow burn but the story is so deep. yeah it's dark and gritty with a cynical worldview and tons of death, but so is attack on titan. and the sacrifice and death in fma 03 ends up being meaningful more so than the ending of aot in my opinion

poor annie. her life was so horrible and then all of a sudden, it wasn't. reader helps her create a home and a life that she actually finds happiness/peace in. you're right that the dreams aren't giving her a choice expect to confront everything she's trying to leave behind. but she still doesn't want to 😢 she scared

EEEEEEE COLD HANDS COLD HEART IS MY MASTERPIECE SO HEARING FEEDBACK ABOUT IT ALWAYS MAKES ME SO HAPPY! okok ajsbdfjeh thank you so much, i really went off with the imagery in that one i know. i really love when you tell me how certain parts of the story or certain lines make you feel 😍😭 she doesn't think that she deserves to be comforted, but reader wants to be there for her. there had to be times where annie accepted the love. i appreciate you so muchhhhh and im glad you enjoyed the fic as much as you did 🥺

hell yeah, i had a lot of fun answering that actually so thank you for asking! yeah, tbh yelena is very scary always... not gonna lie i think she's actually a psychopath. i catch myself typing "but she's just so charismatic and sexy unf" but it just proves my point lol. thank you! i think the context of squid game is the most important thing about the show & it kinda reminds me of the hunger games how people en masse don't seem to address that

[4birds-of-a-feather]

Chapter 27 - Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight (when it’s exactly twelve o’clock that night) [part 4]

Birds Of a Feather

Today is Sara’s birthday (both the author and the fictional one!) so we decided to come out of our usual hiatus to post a silly update and let y’all know that we’re grateful to have such wonderful, loyal readers that haven’t given up on us ✨ Hope you’re gonna enjoy this!

(In the previous chapters: the game of Never Have I Ever has been intense, to say the least, and now the guests are left to go on with the party with the aftermath of thoughts and memories that the game brought up)

The game finally ended and, unsurprisingly to everyone, Elias was the undisputed winner. Nevertheless, he laughed it off, saying he just lied and avoided drinking when he could have done it because he’d rather have the others get drunk so he could make fun of them. The gang didn’t even pretend to believe his version.  They hated him more when Layla came up with the idea for the prize. Elias was already rubbing his hands, expecting a kiss or something similar, but it turned out the girl wanted to award him by revealing to him the solution to her previous game. “Sorry, Layla, but I gotta tell you, you don’t know what you just did there” Mike shook his head as she walked him by with two full glasses in her hands. “Hehe, what?” she stopped to talk to him and after an awkward couple of seconds handed him one of the drinks. She had meant to catch up with Eddie, offer him the drink, drink up her stronger one for some liquid courage, and tell him that she liked him.  But now there she was, talking to Cready, and didn’t want to seem rude, keeping the alcohol to herself. “You put a big weapon in the hands of the wrong person, that is Elias. Now the guy’s gonna go to every girl in the room and use it as a bargaining chip to get something out of it” Mike explained keeping a straight face, something that made her laugh in his face “Don’t laugh, I’m not joking!” “You’re an evil genius, how did you come up with such a plan? I bet Elias didn’t even think about that!” “Uhm, I don’t know… but I bet you didn’t think about it. Or you’d have already used it with a certain someone…” he remarked and hid his smile drinking a sip from his glass. “What the hell are you talking about, Michael? You’re drunk” Layla tried to sound dismissive but was actually smiling. “I’m talking about things, you know. Things that should be done. And if you’re gonna do things, New Year’s Eve is the night – I mean, it’s the mother of all nights, isn’t it?” “The mother of nights to do… things?” Layla asked with an arched eyebrow. “Exactly. Like, it’s New Year’s Eve! It’s a big event” “A big doing-things event” the girl nodded suspiciously. “You almost feel like you have to do things tonight” “Ok but no. This idea of having to do things... it’s kinda cliché. Isn’t New Year’s Eve just so overrated?”  “Maybe. I guess you don’t need to ring in the New Year doing things… if you actually do things during the rest of the year too. But if you don’t…” Mike didn’t finish his sentence, keeping the weird theoretical conversation on a very practical matter going.  “And what if I wanna start doing things tomorrow?” “Well, it’s almost tomorrow, so...” he shrugged and took Layla by her wrist, showing her her own watch.  “Half past eleven? Already?” Layla emptied her glass at once and handed it to Mike, then left and went around the apartment looking for someone, finally determined.  <New Year’s resolution #1: doing things> 

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Sara was quietly sipping on her fruit punch when the stereo system started to blast Lambada at full volume; after she recovered from a near death by choking, she proceeded to look for the person responsible for that atrocity. Meanwhile, around her some people had begun to dance to the tune in a totally unironical way – that made her quicken her pace. “I knew I shouldn’t have left you in charge of the mixtape!” she finally gave the culprit a push from behind “You’re a fuckin’ asshole, you know that?” “I’ve been told, once or twice...” Stone gave her a lazy smile “What, you don’t approve of my musical choices?” “Fuck off” the girl started to walk away, then suddenly stopped “Oh, by the way: all these years you’ve been pulling my leg by saying I’m the shortest person you’ve ever known? Get your eyes checked, champ” she nodded in Demri’s direction while looking pointedly at him. “That’s because she doesn’t count – she’s like some kind of nymph” “Oh, wow, a nymph” Sara kept her deadpan face but seemed to stress the last word “And that makes me a…?” “... a person with dwarf ancestry, no doubt about it” “I hope you choke on one of those stupid pretzels you made Layla buy” she cut it short and made her way to a group of people from where Demri was calling her. “Hey, girl! I’ve been meaning to ask you: what sign are you? ‘Cause I have a faint idea of what you might be, but I wanna make sure I haven’t lost my touch” “Aquarius, what about you?” “I knew it! We’re neighbour signs, I’m a Pisces and I simply adore Aquarius people” Demri grinned enthusiastically, then looked at the others “They’re so full of knowledge and different interests, they always show you a point of view you would have never thought to see from, they-” “Ok, ok, enough with this astrology bullshit” Stone interrupted her, having apparently joined the group “We get it, you really like playing the little witch but cut us some slack, please” “Hey, it’s not bullshit! The planets are actually involved in shaping our personalit-” “Yeah? Then why Chris and I were born on the same day but he’s like that and I’m like this?” “I guess you can blame genetics for that” Sara blurted out, making Layne chuckle loudly enough to get the stink eye from the guitarist. “... that’s because you both have Sun in Cancer but were born in two completely different years, so all the other planets and signs are different too! It’s not so hard to get it, Stoney – this must be the hundredth time I’m explaining it to ya” the other girl didn’t miss a beat, and Sara could have kissed her then and there for the way she had just handed Stone’s ass to him – his embarrassed shitface was priceless. “So… how does this work? How can you actually know which planet is in which sign?” Chris seemed to show genuine interest about the topic, and Demri gave him a radiant grin. “Well, beside the birthdate you also have to take into account the time and birthplace you were born… the latitude and longitude and all those things, and you have to do some calculations to figure out the results, but you use some printed tables to help you with that” she sighed “I knew I had to bring my manual here! It’s old so the tables aren’t up to date, but they would have been good enough for our birthdates… fuck my life” “Hey, I’ve got one huge book that Layla gave me for my last birthday – if I’m not mistaken, the tables there go until 2020… I could lend it to you a few days so you can xerox the pages you need and then we could meet someplace so you can give it back to me? What do you say?” Sara didn’t have to wait for an answer because the other girl had literally jumped on her and was hugging her tightly. “You’re the best Aquarius I’ve ever met! God, I love you, you crazy, beautiful people” “I take it you approve, great” Sara chuckled “Just lemme go in my room to see where I put it – the sooner I start to look for it, the sooner you’ll be able to shed some light upon these amateurs’ miserable lives” She shot a cheeky wink in Demri’s direction and then proceeded to make her way to her room. <Who would have thought to find a fellow astrology enthusiast right here? I have to concede to Layla that, after all, giving this party wasn’t such a bad idea…> The girl smiled to herself: the day was reaching its end but it looked like it wasn’t going to be an entire failure – not something she would have expected after what had happened in the afternoon. She finally opened the door, a hand already going to flick the room’s light on, and when she turned she stood petrified. Apparently, there already were a couple of people on her bed: a girl with a blonde bob was straddling a guy – at least, the hands that were struggling to unclasp her bra seemed to belong to a man. The confirmation came when the hidden figure stuck his head out and revealed himself to be none other than Jeffrey Allen Ament. “Oh – I’m so-sorry, I’ll just go… don’t let me disturb the two of you” she muttered as stiffly as she could, then mustered all her strength and bolted out of the room.    

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The ice cubes in the drinks Layla had been holding in her hands were melting. She had fixed two more for Eddie and her but hadn’t approached the singer yet – and not because she couldn’t find him.  There he was, sitting on the couch, totally absorbed in a conversation with Matt Lukin, who was also sharing a joint with him.  Layla found herself fantasizing about what the hell those two could be talking about, whether they were having a deep philosophical debate or they were just trying to answer age-old questions like “What do teeth taste like?”, “Which armrest at the movie theater is yours?”, “Do pets name their owners?”, “Is the S or the C silent in SCENT?” The girl realized her drinks were warm and downed them both, hoping they would make her more talkative. Right after that she went to grab two beer cans from the fridge and walked through the people at the party up to Eddie at a moderately fast pace.  Eddie saw her coming towards him with some anticipation and just smiled at her. “And that’s why it’s called sand, I swear to god” Lukin pointed out as she was in front of her. “And why is that?” Layla asked and Matt shot her a glance and sighed, as if she was asking a question with an obvious answer. “Because it’s between the sea and the land, of course”   “Right, I’ve never thought about it!” she said as she handed one beer to Eddie. “What’s up, El? Are you having fun?” Vedder asked her and for a moment she thought that was probably the first time he called her like that: that was how Sara called her. She couldn’t say if it was a good or bad sign but didn’t think too much about it.  “Yeah, the party’s been pretty successful so far… I mean, it didn’t turn into a disaster yet and nothing is on fire in the house, so yeah, everything’s alright” the girl replied and couldn’t help being surprised by the number of words which were escaping her mouth.  <Couldn’t I simply say YES, WHAT ABOUT YOU? I guess it’s the alcohol speaking…> “And how come we say things are on fire while it’s actually fire being on things? Ever wondered about that?” Lukin questioned the two as he snatched the beer can from Layla’s hand “Thank you, darling” “Oh you’re welcome! And no… honestly I’ve never thought about that. Well, Eddie, can you just come with me for a second?” <Smooth, Layla, very smooth> she did a mental facepalm at how obvious she must have sounded. “What did I do?” the singer asked, suddenly alarmed, and Layla giggled and thought that he probably was too stoned to even understand shit. “Haha nothing, I just need you… err, need you for something” she pointed at somewhere vaguely around the hall with her thumb. “Uh ok, sure!” Vedder sprang up from the couch and took a last hit before handing what was left of the joint to Lukin. Layla started walking and gestured for Eddie to follow her. When he did she suddenly felt scared – actually terrified. She hadn’t practiced any speech, she hadn’t practiced anything, she just decided she’d tell him and now she had no idea how to practically do it. “Where are we going?” he talked into her ear as she was slowly walking through the people in the living room. “Uhm… just… DOWN THERE…” she didn’t turn around to answer and thought that yelling over the music was a much better option than finding herself face to face with Eddie just yet. “Are we leaving the house?” Eddie frowned as the two of them found themselves beside the front door of the apartment. “Oh no, I just, I thought of a quiet place, you know? To talk and stuff. And I think it’s quieter, here, don’t you think?” Layla said and knew that talk and stuff was up to her and it was too late to back away now. “It is. I honestly thought you wanted to save me from Lukin’s existential questions”  “Hehe well, also. But I also wanted to talk to you” “Oh. About what?” a million things rushed through Eddie’s mind right then. What if she wanted to tell him she was getting back with her boyfriend? What if it was the opposite? What if it had nothing to do about them at all? What if it was just the solution to her mysterious game… <Yeah, that must be it, stop building your usual castles in the air> “About… about things and… failure, you know?” “Failure? What do you mean?” he asked confused. “I mean… you can fail either if you do things without thinking about them or if you think about things without actually doing them, right?” “Yeah…?” Eddie nodded and squinted at her, trying to guess where she was going with this. “And this is one of those there-are-two-types-of-people things. And I think I belong to the second type, I always did” “Uh-huh” “Like, I’m the one who always thinks about doing or saying stuff but rarely does. I'm that type of failure” “I have to disagree with that” “What?” Layla was surprised but also somehow relieved about Eddie interrupting her, so she could have a few seconds more to figure out what the hell she was talking about and where she was heading with all this nonsense. “You didn’t think too much about crowd surfing at our last show, well, not during our set but… I mean, you’re thoughtful and all but sometimes you’re capable of such impetuous acts. And you’re everything but a failure” Layla didn’t know if she was more surprised at what Eddie thought of her or for the fact he could use the word impetuous while high.  “Well, I wish I was more impetuous in everyday life and not just at rock concerts”  “Why are you telling me this?” “It’s… it’s just Mike’s fault!” “Mike?” “Yeah, we were talking about New Year’s resolutions and stuff like that” “Do you wanna know what my resolution is?” Eddie asked, still suspicious about the whole conversation. <So is that what it’s all about? New Year’s small talk?> “Yes, please”  “Well… my resolution for 1991 is… to record this album and not to suck too much, to finally try and make an actual living of this thing that everybody in my family calls a hobby, you know? To play as many shows as I can. And not be fired by Stone” Eddie said and he wanted to add Kiss you to the list but he wasn’t intoxicated enough to say that out loud. “Oh well, that’s a very interesting bunch of resolutions” “What about yours? Being more impetuous and…?” “And…” <And tell you that I’ve been thinking about you, a lot. I think about you even when you’re right there with me. Like, I’m even thinking about you right now. Basically I always think about you. But not in a creepy way. It’s not like I’m listening at your door all the time. I’ve actually done it only once. Or twice. It’s not like I check the time when you get back home at night when I’m casually awake. Because it’s not like I stay awake on purpose waiting for you when you’re out at night. It’s definitely not like I picture your face while listening to your tape when you’re not around. It’s not like I listen to that cassette all the fucking time or anything. Well, to the casual observer of my thoughts it may look like I’m kinda creepy, like I’ve been thinking of you in a marginally creepy way… Oh my god, why am I telling you this? Wait, I’m not actually telling you! It’s all in my head so… nevermind> “... and get my master’s degree and find a real job. And get back into swimming” <See? I’m totally not thinking about you at all> “That’s cool”  “Well, I used to be a pro. I can’t be a pro anymore, I don’t wanna be, I just wanna do it more. I just love being in the water” “I see. I love that too” Eddie agreed and came closer as Layla backed up until she had her back against the door. At the same time, without knowing, they were both thinking about being in the water together. “Anyway, I’m sure you’re gonna reach all your goals. If the record is half as good as the demo, then it’ll be huge” Layla snapped out of her water fantasy, while out of the corner of her eye she spotted an ocean blue sparkly blur pushing its way through the living room and running across the hallway behind Eddie’s back. “Wow, well, thank you” the guy was inches away from her but she was now focused on her friend, getting into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. <What the fuck is happening?> “... I gotta pee” “Huh?” “Yeah, gotta go. It’s almost midnight so… see you next year, hahaha” she nervously added and walked away, just like that, leaving a confused Eddie staring at the front door.  

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“Seems like she’s conjuring that book directly from Mars” Stone dead-panned: it had been a while ever since he had seen Sara going into her room. This time Layne didn’t laugh at him but thanks to his remark – to his wounded ego’s relief – and had instantly gained a slap on the nape provided by his girlfriend. “The more time passes, the more insufferable you become, Stoney” Demri huffed “It’s like you have some kind of biological need to pester anyone who has the misfortune of being on your way-nevermind! My ally has come out of the cave unscathed!” she added, after seeing the other girl finally exiting the room. Stone turned again and there she was, striding through the hallway like some sort of acid-tripped Starry Night. “Huh, looks like her treasure hunt didn’t go well” Layne remarked, noticing how her hands were empty; furthermore, she kept on walking without sparing their group a single glance until she disappeared from their view. “Annnnnd she’s gone” Chris clicked his tongue and raised his glass high in some sort of toast to Sara. “She’s gone but the real question is: where is she going?” Staley looked alternatively at his girlfriend, Cornell and Gossard, the latter remaining suspiciously silent. “And why?” Chris added after taking a sip. “Why? Well, given the expression on her face and the fact she didn’t seem to give a shit about us or the rest of the world, I think it’s pretty obvious she’s upset for something… or someone” Demri pointed out “But that could be just my stupid Pisces intuition talking, don’t mind me” <Tsk, it doesn’t take an astrologist to tell that the girl’s fucking mad> Stone thought but it wasn’t until he spotted a very well-known person in the corner that it all clicked in his mind.  When he saw Jeff rushing into the hallway, looking around, followed by a blonde girl who was talking to him while fixing her shirt, it all started making sense. <That poor excuse for a vertebrate….> the guitarist shook his head and scrubbed his hand across his face in frustration. “I need a drink” he said, excusing himself from the small circle of friends, and apparently walked up into the kitchen. Instead, he made a bee line to wherever Sara went. 

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“Sara? Come on, Sara! What’s up? Just tell me if you’re ok in there” Layla had been knocking on the bathroom’s door for a couple of minutes when Eddie first and Stone soon after showed up behind her. “What’s happening?” the guitarist tried to assess the situation, without mentioning what he had just witnessed. “It’s Sara,” the other guy answered him, while Layla proceeded to increase the knocking’s intensity, hoping to bother the other girl enough to let her into the bathroom “I think she’s not feeling good” “Oh – you think it has something to do with the food? Or maybe there are too many people in here and she felt dizzy...” Stone kept on feigning ignorance about the real cause of the girl’s distress. “I don’t know, it could be? Layla and I just happened to see her run in this direction and decided to follow her to see what we could do, but she doesn’t seem to be willing to cooperate with us” “And can you tell us what are you doing here, Stone?” Layla huffed, upset because her best friend still had to answer to her pleas to open the door “The less people we are, the more chances we have to make her feel a bit better” “Nothing, I swear I was up to nothing” he raised his hands “I was just going to get myself something to drink when I saw you guys quickly walking in this direction and thought that I should check on you, that’s all”  “What if she… you know… took something and…” Eddie scratched his nape, casually speculating, but Layla and Stone shushed him up almost at the same time. “What? No way, man” “Sara’s not into that stuff. I know what happened. It’s all Jeff’s fault” the girl pointed out and Gossard was surprised to hear that.  <Did she see them too?> he wondered. But if that was the case, he was mostly surprised that Layla would mention it at all.  “Why Jeff? What did he do?” the singer questioned, thinking of another typical round of Sara and Jeff quarrelling and being at each other’s throat. Eddie thought maybe Jeff could have gone too far this time. “I told him to go to Pike Place Market but I bet he didn’t!” she said, still frantically pounding on the door. “What the fuck are you talking about?” Stone had no idea what was going through the girl’s head and looked at Eddie, who seemed equally perplexed. “It took him little time to do all the grocery shopping I asked him to do for the party. I specifically told him to go to Pike Place to buy seafood but he came back with some low quality prawns he must have bought in some fucking convenience store or something closer to home. Sorry Sara, I should have known better!” the girl added the last sentence directly addressing the bathroom door in a louder voice. Stone laughed internally at Layla’s assumption, whereas Eddie thought she must be really worried if she used the F word. “Well, darling, if it makes you feel any better I’m not hearing retching sounds coming from the inside, so I think the food poisoning hypothesis can be excluded” the guitarist patted her on the shoulder, but she kept on knocking on the door. “I’m sorry to inform you that I won’t feel better until my best friend comes out of the cave! She doesn’t know it yet, but I make a damn good Jack Torrance impression and I’m honestly itching to let her see it” “... ouch, maybe it’s better if I go looking for something to drink for her, the situation is quickly escalating” Eddie added and began to walk in the kitchen’s direction, hoping to find something for himself as well. “Please, let it be some chamomile tea because she doesn’t need any more Godzilla fuel” Stone shouted at him, avoiding a brutal push from Layla, who had heard everything. “Can’t you just stop being sassy for a minute? I’m worried, for real, can’t you see it?” “You don’t need to be, trust me. Sara’s ok, nothing happened, really”  “How can you say that?” the girl felt he was keeping something from her.  “Because I know” “And how do you know?” “Because… Well, I was there so I know what happened. And it was nothing. Sara is just making a scene for nothing – which is typical of her, lemme tell ya” “Why do I feel you’ve got something to do with that nothing that happened?” Layla looked at him suspiciously. <I knew he was up to something the moment he arrived! After all, he was talking to her like five minutes before she fled into the bathroom, it must be Stone’s fault!> “Ok ok, I give in! I’ll confess.” Stone raised his hands as a defeat sign and said the first thing that came up to his mind “We were discussing movies and I just shared one maybe slightly unpopular opinion” “That is…?” “I just said that Martin Scorsese is overrated” “YOU SAID WHAT?” “I mean, he directed a bunch of pretty decent movies but-” “A bunch of decent movies? Did you use these exact words?” Layla now could see why Sara wouldn’t want anything to do with the world outside the bathroom. “Yeah, more or less. Anyway, he did something good but… err, I just find him so boring, you know” “Well I think I can speak on behalf of Sara and say you can stick your unpopular opinion up to your you-know-where and apologize to her, Martin and the movie industry” she folded her arms and started tapping her toe as if she was actually waiting for apologies. “And that was what I was expecting, I was expecting her to tell me to fuck off as usual but she just up and left. Maybe she’s in a bad mood” Stone shrugged and silently prayed for the girl to believe his bullshit. “Yeah, she’s been in a weird mood all day” Layla recalled her friend disappearing the whole afternoon and then reacting strangely during their drinking game. “I’ll apologize to her” “Good. Just do it” “But… I can’t do it if you stay here” “Hahaha and why? Are you shy all of a sudden?” “It’s hard for me, you know” “Are you like the poor man’s version of the Fonz? Who can’t physically say I’m sorry?” “Sort of…” “I don’t know if I can leave you and Sara alone, can I trust you?” she sincerely asked. “Oh for fuck’s sake, sure you can! I’m not Jeff” Stone retorted and his remark had multiple meanings but Layla could only grasp one of them, the most obvious one. “Ok, come on Sara, tell this guy off and get out of here! It’s almost midnight!” she addressed her friend again with one last weak knock on the bathroom door and then went back into the living room. “Scout, the coast is clear… now you can come out” Stone had waited for Layla to disappear before addressing again the door; there was silence, when finally a croaky voice came from inside the bathroom. “... that makes you Boo Radley, I suppose” The guitarist smiled to himself: “I guess it does” “I appreciate the sentiment but I just wanna stay alone” “And monopolize the bathroom for the whole evening? Nuh-uh, missy, I won’t all-” “Stoney, what are you doing here, talking with the bathroom door?” a wild McCready appeared out of thin air, looking at his bandmate in a mildly concerned way. “Just trying to find out if it’s made of oak or pine” “Well, try to get an answer really soon because I must go inside!” “Jeez, Mikey, you know you can smoke from the balcony, right? Nobody’s going to call the police” “What did you understand??” Mike grabbed him by the shoulders and started to shake him “I already did that, we’re talking about another kind of emergency!” “What? You lost your contacts and need to put in another pair?” “I NEED TO SHIT! There, I said it! Are you happy, now???”  “... you could have done it from the start” “That’s what I was trying to do” “... too bad we have another emergency going on, so you should find another suitable place for your crap – literally”  “WHAT THE FUC-” “In your shoes, I wouldn’t get excited… you never know when shit’s about to hit the fan” “Fuck off you and your shitty puns, Stone! Where am I supposed to go??” Mike whined, shifting his weight from one leg to another with little jumps. “I don’t know, you could shit in Jeff’s bass case? Or hidden behind the ficus plants, but pay attention because Elias might still be lurking there…” “I’m going to knock on some apartment doors and the first that opens to me is gonna be the chosen savior!” McCready made his way to the front door, but stopped halfway “Don’t think I’m gonna forget how merciless you’ve been with me, I’m having mine served cold” “Hope you’re not talking about your imminent masterpiece, Cready…” “FUCK OFF, STONE” and, thus said, the victim ran outside the VedderAment residence.  Gossard let out a huge breath of relief, then turned again towards the door: “Now, where were we?”  

[finnukkm202]

Is Firefox Running Slow? 6 Tips and also Tweaks to Speed Up Firefox

If you do not use Chrome, Safari, or Edge, opportunities are that you use Firefox. But often, it seems like the more you utilize it, the slower Firefox seems to obtain. What can you do when Firefox is running sluggish, even while other web browsers are still quick?

Let's consider what to do when Firefox is sluggish so you can get your browser back into shape.

Initial Steps When Firefox Is Slow

Before we jump into the actionable actions to take care of a slow Firefox installment, there are a couple of preliminary factors to consider.

If you have not currently, check out some simple ways to quicken Firefox, which covers general means to improve Firefox's efficiency. You'll discover some ways to disable unnecessary integrated features, along with extensions that enhance performance.

Also, prior to you go any kind of even more, make sure you have actually updated to the current version of Firefox by clicking the three-line menu at the top-right of the screen and also choosing Aid > About Firefox. Running the current variation assists make certain that there aren't any kind of short-lived insects causing your speed issues.

Ensure that you have actually restarted Firefox lately. Allowing your internet browser run for days at once without closing it out as well as reopening will certainly typically create efficiency hiccups. You should reactivate your computer prior to relocating onto even more troubleshooting, as well.

Also after doing the above, you may still have an issue with the web browser's performance in comparison to other browsers on your system. Let's look at what to do when Firefox is still as well slow-moving.

1. Firefox Is Slow to Lots

As soon as you've had Firefox set up for a long time, it can take too long to launch. To make Firefox boot much faster, click the food selection button in the top-right of Firefox and select Choices. You can rather get in regarding: preferences in the address bar if you intend to jump there straight.

With the General tab selected left wing, uncheck the Always check if Firefox is your default browser box. Then, Firefox won't lose precious seconds to ask about altering your default browser every single time you open it.

Next off, on top of this checklist, uncheck the Restore previous session box. This avoids Firefox from packing the tabs you had open last time you utilized it. If you had several tabs open or were searching a heavy web page, recovering your previous session might create Firefox to begin gradually.

Select the House tab on the. Under New Windows and Tabs, set the top dropdown box to Space Page. As opposed to loading a web page that takes a very long time, this will always open an instant empty tab upon launch. You can establish New tabs to likewise open up as Space Web page to lower any drag out them as well.

2. Firefox Uses Too Much CPU or RAM

After using Firefox for some time, it can start to make use of a great deal of your computer system's CPU and/or RAM. To find the cause of the downturn, initially attempt starting Firefox in Safe Mode. This will make Firefox run with no attachments or plugins. To utilize Safe Setting, go to the food selection in Firefox and also select Assist > Restart With Add-ons Impaired.

Firefox will certainly reboot, then show two alternatives: Start in Safe Mode or Refresh Firefox. Pick Begin in Safe Setting. If Firefox is running so improperly that you can't do this, hold Shift while beginning Firefox rather.

If Firefox runs faster in Safe Mode, the trouble most likely lies with one your add-ons or plugins. To test which one it is, you can use Firefox's built-in job supervisor. Launch it from the very same three-line menu under Assistance > Job Supervisor.

Like the Windows Task Manager, this displays all processes running in Firefox as well as just how much memory they're using. Maintain this tab visible as you work, and you need to obtain a concept of which attachments use the most memory.

After that, you need to attempt disabling those to see if Firefox runs far better without them. Open up the food selection as well as pick Add-ons to have a look at your installed extensions. Disable the slider for an expansion to avoid it from running-- you should disable all expansions, then enable them one-by-one to figure out the culprit.

If you locate a certain expansion is a significant issue, click its three-dot food selection and choose Get rid of to totally remove it from your web browser.

While in this food selection, you should also view the Plugins tab on the left side. The modern-day web does not count as much on plugins, yet you might still have actually one set up that slows Firefox down. Click the three-dot switch on a plugin, after that choose Ask to Trigger or Never Turn on to avoid it from operating on its own.

On the Motifs tab, you ought to use a default Firefox motif from the list. Third-party themes might contribute to efficiency issues.

In case Safe Setting really did not make any type of distinction, Firefox tabs are probably responsible. For aid, you can set up the Auto Tab Discard extension, which will immediately discharge the sources used by an inactive tab.

Try to limit the variety of tabs you maintain open at once, specifically for resource-heavy websites. As opposed to leaving tabs open to remember them or check out later on, you can make use of Pocket and web browser book marks.

3. Firefox Is Slow Despite High-End Equipment

Firefox can in some cases run gradually, also on makers with solid hardware. That's typically due to the fact that the internet browser is being conventional with just how it utilizes your sources to enhance efficiency. You can open up the hood and also fine-tune how the web browser uses computer equipment.

From Firefox's menu, go to Alternatives once more. On the General tab, find the Performance header. Uncheck the box for Use recommended performance settings, which will offer you with more alternatives.

As long as firefox focus for windows 10 download you have a good GPU, examine package for Use equipment velocity when available. With this tweak, Firefox will certainly utilize your graphics card, rather than your processor, for rendering visuals. Thinking you have suitable equipment, this will supply smoother performance for every little thing from web video games to watching video clips.

RELATED: WHAT IS EQUIPMENT VELOCITY AND WHEN SHOULD YOU USE IT?

Next, you can alter the Web content Process Restriction. The default is 8, yet if your computer system is lacking memory, you can reduce it. The more RAM you have, the higher you need to establish this value.

If you think that system resources are still an issue, see to it that you've tidied up your computer as well. An absence of RAM from too many programs running in the background, no disk area for your web browser to develop short-term files, or even malware on your system can slow down your browser.

4. Modification Firefox Settings or Download And Install Speed Tweaks

If you study Firefox's regarding: config web page, you can transform numerous criteria to quicken Firefox We covered some of these in the guide mentioned above.

However, if you aren't comfortable tampering these setups, a helpful extension will do it for you and make sure you don't break anything. Rate Fine-tunes changes a few setup setups, but not every one of them. Once you install the extension, the very best choices to enable are pre-resolving DNS access as well as throwing out inactive tabs.

5. When All Else Falls Short, Refresh Firefox.

If Firefox is still running slow after you make the above adjustments, you must start fresh with a clean copy of Firefox. But you do not have to start from scratch throughout once more.

Similar to contemporary operating systems, Firefox provides a one-click alternative to go back to a factory default state, getting rid of all of your modifications. Specifically, it will certainly eliminate all add-ons as well as modifications, as well as recovering web browser setups to their defaults.

Right here's just how to reset Firefox:

1. Open up the menu at the top-right and also pick Assist > Troubleshooting Info.

2. In the top-right box labeled Provide Firefox a song up, click Refresh Firefox.

3. When the dialog box appears, choose Refresh Firefox once more to validate.

Firefox will close, then reboot after a few seconds. While all the performance options and also settings change to default, Firefox conserves your personal information. This includes book markings, background, passwords, cookies, auto-fill info, and also your thesaurus. It's basically like a new Firefox with all your information prepared to go.

6. Get Rid Of Third-Party Anti-virus Apps

Former Firefox developer Robert O'Callahan has mentioned that your anti-viruses may be why why Firefox is running slow-moving. In a post on his blog Eyes Over The Waves, he advises disabling all antivirus programs in addition to Microsoft Protector. The article discusses just how antivirus apps affect efficiency as well as also reduce updates.

Mozilla's aid documents also state that antivirus applications can decrease Firefox's loading, if they block access to data that the browser checks out upon starting.

We have actually stated prior to that most third-party antivirus apps aren't worth using. Microsoft Defender does not prod you or try to get you to update for a lot of rubbish you do not require. And also it's had less compatibility problems with other software application like this.

[covidclinic]

7 Things To Know About the Delta Variant

7 Things To Know About the Delta Variant The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) released new guidelines on the urgent need to enhance COVID-19 immunization coverage on July 27, 2021, along with a recommendation that everyone in areas with significant or high transmission wear a mask in public indoor places, even if they are fully vaccinated. The CDC published this updated recommendation in response to a number of alarming trends and fresh data signals.

Infections & Spread:

-The Delta version is more contagious; The Delta variant is far more contagious than earlier variants, being more than twice as contagious.

-According to some evidence, the Delta variation may cause more severe sickness in unprotected people than in prior forms; Individuals infected with the Delta variant were more likely to be hospitalized in two separate trials from Canada and Scotland than patients infected with Alpha or the original virus that causes COVID-19.

-Unvaccinated people continue to pose the biggest threat of transmission: Unvaccinated people are far more likely to become infected and thus spread the virus. COVID-19 (also known as breakthrough infections) is less common in fully vaccinated people than in unprotected ones.

People who have been fully vaccinated but nevertheless have a Delta variant breakthrough illness can pass the virus on to others. People who have been vaccinated, on the other hand, tend to spread the virus for a shorter amount of time: COVID-19 samples from fully vaccinated persons who suffered breakthrough infections contained less viral genetic material than COVID-19 samples from unvaccinated people.

7 Facts About The Delta Variant:

The Delta version has five characteristics that you should be aware of: -The Delta virus strain is more contagious than the others; According to F. Perry Wilson, MD, a Yale Medicine epidemiologist, one of the things that distinguish Delta is how quickly it spreads. “Delta will undoubtedly exacerbate* the pandemic” over the planet, he claims. (*worsen)

The first Delta case was discovered in December 2020, and the virus’s variation quickly became the prevalent strain in both India and the United Kingdom. According to CDC estimates, Delta was responsible for more than 80% of new COVID-19 cases in the United States by the end of July.

-People who have not been immunized are at risk; The people who have not been properly vaccinated against COVID-19 are the ones who are the most vulnerable.

In the United States, states with poor vaccination rates, such as Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Mississippi, Missouri, and West Virginia, have a disproportionate number of unvaccinated persons. (In some of these states, the number of instances is increasing, while in others, limits are being lifted since the number of cases is decreasing.)

-’ Hyperlocal epidemics’ could occur as a result of the Delta. Dr. Wilson thinks the major questions will be about heightened transmissions — how many people will catch the Delta variant and how quickly will it spread — if Delta continues to move fast enough to quicken the pandemic.

According to him, the answers could be influenced by where you reside and how many individuals in your area have been vaccinated. “I call it ‘patchwork vaccination,’ where you have pockets of people who are well vaccinated next to those who are only 20 percent vaccinated,” Dr. Wilson explains. “The difficulty is that the virus can hop, skip, and leap from one inadequately vaccinated area to another as a result of this.”

-The symptoms of the COVID-19 Delta variant appear to be the same as the original form. Physicians, on the other hand, are witnessing people becoming ill more quickly, particularly among the young. According to this research, the Delta variant grows significantly faster — and too much higher levels — in the respiratory system.

When those who have been vaccinated contract the Delta form, they are frequently asymptomatic or experience just minor symptoms. Their symptoms are similar to those of a regular cold, such as cough, fever, and headache, but they often include a substantial loss of smell.

-Even if you’re fully vaccinated, some experts advise wearing masks. Despite being completely vaccinated against COVID-19, several health specialists around the country are donning masks. They’re also encouraging vaccinated persons to stay away from large gatherings and wear masks indoors when other people’s vaccination status is uncertain.

-The easiest way to avoid being infected with Delta is to get vaccinated. The most crucial thing you can do to protect yourself from Delta is to get fully vaccinated, according to the doctors. That means that if you obtain a two-dose vaccine, such as Pfizer or Moderna, you must have both doses and then wait the recommended two weeks for the shots to take full effect. It’s also vital to follow CDC preventative guidelines, which are available for both vaccinated and unvaccinated people, whether or not you’ve been vaccinated.

-There are likely to be more COVID-19 versions in the future; COVID-19’s Delta version is currently the most well-known strain, but the Lambda variety from South America is also making waves. According to health experts, if individuals wish to return to normal, a large section of the population must be vaccinated. New strains of the virus will continue to evolve and cause difficulties as long as a significant portion of the global population remains uninfected.

People who have been fully vaccinated against the coronavirus continue to have good protection against COVID-19, according to what we know so far. Doctors warn that anyone who is not vaccinated and does not use preventive measures is at significant risk of contracting the new type.

Vaccines:

The COVID-19 vaccines approved or authorized in the United States, including the Delta form, are highly successful at preventing serious sickness and death. However, they are not 100 percent effective, and some people who have been fully vaccinated will become infected (known as a breakthrough infection) and become unwell.

The vaccine offers the best protection against serious illness and death for everyone.

This concludes that…

Vaccines are critical in restricting the virus’s transmission and reducing the severity of the sickness. Vaccines are highly effective, but they are not without flaws, and there will be vaccine-related diseases. Vaccination has reached millions of people in the United States, and the number is growing.

Irrespective of how things work out, the best deal for everyone out there is to get vaccinated the first chance they get and use their masks whenever in public places. Stay safe everyone! You can also go to our website and search for the test that best fits your needs. Until then, stay safe!