#I NEEEEEEEEED to go to bed

[trannykong]

I absolutely tried to fix it and I absolutely made the problem infinitely worse but we took at least ONE step in the right direction after like 4 hours of troubleshooting

Not the biggest deal in the world but I'm sad that my VPN isn't connecting for some reason. It updated recently and has been wonky since then, unsure why

[pinkslipxox]

Omg i NEEEEEEEEED miko using a vibrator on reader 😫🙏

Hehe here you go, princesa ❤️🥰 something short but sweet

——————————————————————————

You're lying in the comfortable bed, the soft moon light streaming through the window, casting a silvery glow over the room. The air is filled with the faint, sweet scent of Miko's pen, a familiar and comforting aroma. You hear the soft hum of the pen as Miko takes a drag, her eyes locked onto yours, a smirk playing on her lips. She's a vision of contrast, her muscular, tattooed body clad in loose, baggy clothes, a stark difference to your more feminine and shy demeanor.

"Mírame, pequeña," Miko whispers, her voice a low, husky growl as she exhales a cloud of vapor. You feel a shiver run down your spine, your body responding to her command. You do as she says, your eyes meeting hers, and you see the fire burning in her gaze. She doesn't give a fuck about anything but you in this moment, and that knowledge sends a thrill through you.

Miko sets her pen aside and reaches for the vibrator on the nightstand, her movements slow and deliberate. She leans over you, her body pressing against yours, and you can feel her heart beating steadily in her chest. She cradles you in her arms, her touch surprisingly gentle despite her tough exterior. You melt into her, your body molding to hers as she starts to tease you with the vibrator, her movements slow and deliberate.

"Miko," you gasp, your voice barely a whisper. You feel her smile against your skin, her breath hot on your neck.

"Shh, pequeña," she murmurs. "Let me take care of you." And she does. She teases you, her movements slow and deliberate, building you up only to pull back, leaving you begging for more. You're vocal, your pleasures and desires spilling from your lips, and Miko laps them up, her eyes never leaving yours.

"You like that, pequeña?" she asks, her voice a low growl as she increases the speed of the vibrator, your body arching off the bed as you cry out. "You want more?"

"Please, Miko," you beg, your voice hoarse with need. "Don't stop."

She doesn't. She continues to tease you, her touch gentle yet firm, her words a mix of English and Spanish, a soothing Spanglish lullaby that only she can sing. You're wrapped in her arms, your body safe and cherished, even as she pushes you to the edge of pleasure.

[sorrowedpickle]

Breathless

Wednesday Addams x fem!reader

A/N: I was eating donuts making this

A lil short

Warning: smut, strap_on sex, p in v, overstim, bottom!wednesday, top!reader

Minors and men, DNI

Request: pickle, pickle, pickle. i neeeeeeeeed a fic of just fucking anyone of jenna’s characters. like just making them go dumb from r’s strap or something

Your eyes roaming over her arched back covered in dark hickeys and scratch marks, ass red and sensitive from you smacking it so much and so hard.

Her usual pale skin now different shades of colors scattered across her along her body that’s shakes and shivers with every touch you give her.

Her face buried deep into the pillow as she grips the sides bunching it up to cover her dark red ears as moans that were once silent escape her, trying to hide them as much as possible but she was too loud for it to work. It just sounded muffled or like it was through the walls.

As you looked over her, a small smirk rested on your face, relishing in the fact that you had turned this once well-kept and stoic woman into a mere sensitive mess. Her usual calm and collected demeanor had completely melted away under your touch, leaving nothing but her vulnerability.

You couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride deep inside, knowing that you had the power to affect her in such a way. You had conquered her defenses and broken down her walls, leaving her completely at your mercy. In this moment, you held onto her hips tightly, making sure she couldn’t get away from your grasp.

In your hands, she was a crumbling mess, her body writhing beneath yours as you thrusted into her. Oh, you could get used to this.

Your hands grip her already bruised hips, helping her push back against you as your relentless thrust continue into her.

She had said this was the only position she’d do when you requested to switch, just a little something more than you usually do to switch things up a bit. She claimed it was the least embarrassing position possible, with you not being able to see her face as you fucked her.

She seemed to ultimately regret this decision, she couldn’t control anything. Where your hands went, how fast or slow you thrusted into her, how many times you’d two do it.

No, you were in control it seemed and didn’t plan on stopping as your hips drilled into hers. Not only that, but the amount of times she came was embarrassing to admit in the time you’ve been going at it.

You, of course, couldn’t get enough. Watching her come undone — because for once you had the strap on on — only made you want to see it again which caused a cycle, a never ending cycle it seemed and Wednesday had to bare through it.

Her legs that gave out ages ago shook as you held her up, no longer being able to do anything but sit there and moan and whine into the pillow, trying her hardest to keep breathing and not let out choked moans.

One hand moves along her hip and up to her back, tracing the marks and soothingly trying to ease her a bit. Your touch soft and tender compared to your hips that slam against her as the straps to the strap-on dug into your skin, leaving rope burns in its wake but that was the last thing you were worried about with this girl in front of you.

Her once neatly kept hair now sprawled across her back in wavy curls, moving with her as she moves against the bed.

You pull her ass further up to get a better angle, forcing her face to bury deeper into the pillow as she lets out a long whine that’s quickly replaced by a quiet moan as you continue to pound into her.

If only you could actually feel her, how she’d throb around the cock after the continuous orgasms you gave her. Oh that must have felt like heaven if you could even keep up without growing weak yourself.

How could you not? With such a sight you could only imagine the way she felt wrapped around you.

Her legs start to shake more, her grip on the pillow tightening as her moans come out more frequent and your movements speed up, hold on her hips becoming firm to keep her in place while moved against her.

You watched her slowly turn her head to look back at you, a very rare sight to her. Her dark, lust filled eyes full of tears as she tried to hold back her moans, sensitive from the many orgasms you were giving her could have been the only cause of such a thing.

This only spurs you one, thrust becoming harder and her eyes widen. Her back arches further as a loud moan escapes her before she shoves her face back into the pillow, high pitches noises leaving her throat as you slam into her.

Her body continues to shake against you as you hold her hips up for her, leaning down to press a kiss to the back of her neck and soaking in the feeling of her shiver as thrust into her.

Eventually her body tenses, stuttering against you as you lean back up and she lets out a low moan into the pillow and her grip stays tight.

Her body had been thoroughly exhausted after the pleasure she had just experienced. Her limbs were barely capable of responding to any outside stimuli, and her breathing was shallow and laboured. Her face was hidden in the pillow as her chest rose up and down.

This doesn’t stop you though, your thrust only become faster as you desperately try to get her to do it one last time, pulling her hips back into you with force.

She cries out, hands gripping the pillow tighter. Still sensitive from her recent orgasm, more tears fall from her face eyes staring forward at the beds headboard unfocused.

You press your palm into her back to steady yourself and keep to motions going, watching the way she shakes and moans under you.

She had overstimulated you plenty of times, so you knew exactly how it worked and what to do. But to be the one actually doing and not receiving? You couldn’t decide which one you liked more.

Your hips continue to snap to hers in a repeated motion, keeping a steady pace as you fuck into her sensitive heat before she lets out another loud moan, this time it’s choked up and broken.

She’s had enough, you had decided as you slow your movements letting her breathing in heavily. Her grip on the pillow had turned her knuckles white and her fingers shook along with her sensitive body.

You smile, movements completely stopped as you sit behind her in between her legs with the fake cock still buried deep inside.

Letting her come down from her final high you gently rub her hips, running your hands up and down her back to help her calm down a bit before placing a kiss from the small of her back up to the back of her neck, gently moving her hair out of the way letting your fingers linger on the dark red and purple skin you had sucked and scratched.

While you do this, she says something incoherently under her breath. Her eyes still unfocused as she stared to the side not longer trying to stay up as she blinks slowly muttering and mumbling.

Leaning back a bit, you pull the dildo out not letting the small whine from her go unnoticed as you took the straps off and laid back against her, arms wrapping around her to trap them between her and bed as you nuzzle into her shoulder. Just feeling her breath against or simply be against you could calm you down in an instant and you hoped it’d work on her as well as you lazily place kisses on her shoulder.

“Still think this was a bad idea?” You ask, small smirk on your face and she mumbles something eye brows pinching together and her nose scrunching up before she relaxes again.

And before you know it, you feel her body completely relax and her breathing even out. She hasn’t even given you a chance to do anything like gloat or ask if she was okay. She was knocked out and would probably not wake up for a while.

You snort, sitting up to just admire the sight. Her face relaxed as marks liter across her bare body, mouth slightly agape and her breathing finally normal again.

A soft smile plays onto your lips, pulling the blanket over the two of you and you lay next to her. Body firmly pressed against hers as you wrap your arms around and rest your head on her shoulder and close your eyes. A soft sigh leaving you as you breath in her scent and feel her warm skin.

—

Tagslist: @bluetreecloud20 @skate-to-breathee @wol-fica @raven-ss @restlessdot @dumb-fvck104 @tabberthecat @crazyoffher @rhythm-catsandwine @makncheese12 @alexkolax @jennasfav @melthedwarf @t-wylia @unknownuserzdjdh @pnsteblnme

A/N: not my best, probably gonna edit it a bit later on

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Okay so I absolutely ADORE 'The Bucket List' and was wondering if you would consider writing a 'what happens next' with Grace and Charles? Those two NEEEEEEEEED a happily ever after!

Pwetty pwease?

Five Years Later || CL16

A/N: I never planned for Grace and Charles to be together, but they are each other’s support. Warnings: labour and delivery WC: 1.9k

The Bucket List || Death Scene || Two Years Later || Bucket Moments

“Maman, it’s time,” Charles rushed, a little breathless over the phone.

Pascale almost dropped the phone as she clambered out of bed and knocked on Arthur’s door. He had stayed the night to help entertain Angel who was asleep in Charles’ childhood room and he startled awake at the intrusion. “Get the car, it’s time.”

“It’s time?” Arthur echoed excitedly before rushing to get his car keys and wake up Angel. She didn’t seem too impressed to be woken up before dawn but she soon bounced excitedly when Arthur told her it was time to go.

“How is Grace doing?” Pascale asked Charles as she got herself ready to leave.

Charles looked at Grace who was pacing around his living room, one hand pressed against her lower back, her face pinched in pain, while the other hand cradled the swell of her belly.

“She’s doing amazing, but she’s eager for some pain relief.”

Many people thought the relationship between Charles and Grace was strange. They weren’t together, yet they were never far apart. They were like two broken branches grafted back into the same scarred tree. The parts that were missing could never be replaced, but they realised that their company was better together than being alone.

That was why she was the only one he could trust to be the surrogate mother.

Between all the medical procedures, Charles hadn’t really remembered that you froze your eggs to save them from being damaged by the chemo. The plan had been to use them when you were better, but when that didn’t happen Charles thought they would go unused. It was only a letter that arrived on the fifth anniversary of the procedure that reminded him, with an update of the egg's health status. It had taken a few more months before he plucked up the courage to talk to your parents about it and then ask Grace instead of a stranger.

“We’ll see you at the maternity ward,” Charles said with a wince as another contraction drew a pained groan from his friend. The retired world champion had known exhaustion, but after a night of supporting Grace to labour in his apartment he had a new appreciation for what it really meant.

Everything had been planned and prepared for this day so Charles was ready to bring home his little boy. His room had been painted a pale pastel blue and was decorated with picture frames so he would always recognise your face as his mother watching over him. A white sleigh cot was set up against one wall with the best baby monitor money could buy. Opposite it sat a set of drawers that held more baby clothes than he could ever need and beside it was a fully stocked changing table with newborn nappies stacked high.

Charles grabbed the hospital bag from the table and slung it over his shoulder before going to Grace. He grabbed her phone and drink bottle from the coffee table and turned off the calming piano music she had been listening to before helping her swollen feet into her slippers. “Ready?” he asked softly as he offered his elbow to keep her steady.

“Mhmm,” was all she could muster.

Though he had healed a lot in the years that had passed, more so once meeting Angel and Grace, there was still a pain in his joy when he thought that it should have been you carrying his child. Charles liked to think that he still felt you there with him through all of it, the milestones and scans, and that it wasn’t all in his head.

There was a bowl of cool water that Charles had been using to wash the sweat from Grace’s forehead but he didn’t bother to tidy it up before he left, same with the half empty plate of snacks she had tried to eat between contractions. His sole focus was on getting Grace to the hospital as quickly and comfortably as possible.

Charles knew you would have been proud of the effort he went to in learning everything about pregnancy and newborns. It felt like he had bought every book and watched every youtube video, as well as attending the local Antenatal Class. He admitted it was hard to attend the class when everywhere he looked were happy couples excited for their first child. Grace had smiled and squeezed his hand, as always, knowing exactly how he was feeling.

“Chosen his name yet?” Grace asked as she eased into the front seat slowly, straining to fit the belt around her large belly.

“I’ll know when I look at him,” he said with a shake of his head. He had a dozen names that he liked but he wanted something that suited him so he would wait a few hours more before deciding. “It has to feel right, you know?”

Grace gripped the door handle and the edge of the seat as another contraction began. Her eyes watered and her deep breaths shuddered for a minute until it passed and she sighed with relief. “Angel was meant to be Frangelica, but when she was born it just didn’t match.”

Charles laughed as he tried to picture Angelique with any other name. No, Angel suited her just right because she had saved him the day they met.

The streets were quiet as he took the turns slow and smooth, winding his way through the city that was barely beginning to wake as dawn approached. Thankfully the hospital was already expecting him and they had a wheelchair ready as he pulled up.

“I’ll be right behind you,” Charles promised before parking the car and rushing up to the maternity ward. He skidded to a stop outside the only door with voices and Grace lay on the bed in a gown.

“I’m sorry, you’re too far along for pain relief,” the midwife said as she draped the sheet back down. “Baby is already starting to crown. You have done so well, mama.”

“Oh, I’m not the mother,” she said as Charles stepped into the room, casually clearing the situation up with a smile. “I’m a surrogate for Charles.”

There had been a comment made by the media early on in the pregnancy when news broke, that Grace would try to be the mother once the baby was born. It would have been a lie to say Charles didn’t think about that possibility, but Grace had her child with the love of her life, Gabriel, and had long decided she would never have a child with another man - she felt it would be a betrayal to their memory. This child was yours and Charles, and your memory would live on through her.

“That’s beautiful,” the midwife said with a reassuring smile as she turned her attention to Charles. “There’s a spare gown in the bathroom, you can change into that if you want to have skin to skin bonding once baby is born.”

Charles had read that skin to skin contact helped newborns bond with their parents and he grinned as he stepped into the bathroom. He had never changed so fast as he heard Grace’s pained cry but the midwife was calm and talking gently as she morphed the bed to a seated position.

“You are doing so well, Grace. You might feel the urge to push with the next contractions, just do what feels natural, okay, hun,” the midwife, Ann, as her name tag read, encouraged. “I’m just going to hit the call button but there is nothing to worry about, it’s just to have an extra set of hands because it looks like the little one is making a quick arrival.”

Charles wasn’t even aware that Grace’s gown had fallen away until he saw her stomach tighten around the undeniable shape of a small body and she clenched her teeth together, dipping her chin down with a guttural cry. He had to remember to breathe as the midwife encouraged Grace to push, then rest.

“Okay, this is the one, we need one last big push,” Ann guided. “I know you’re tired but you can do this.”

Grace’s hand nearly broke Charles’ as she squeezed with the push and then the little boy was there. An exhilarated gasp escaped Charles as he saw his son lifted upright, his face purple before he took his first gulping of air and rattled out a cry after filling his lungs. Colour quickly returned to his cheeks and another midwife wrapped him in a warm towel.

“My boy,” Charles laughed as tears rolled freely down his cheeks and he looked at Grace. “Thank you.”

“I would say anytime, but-” she choked out a laugh and settled back into the pillows before another contraction began.

“What’s that?” Charles asked. He had a pair of scissors in his hand that another midwife had given him to cut the cord, but suddenly he panicked thinking there was a twin.

“Just the placenta being birthed,” Ann assured him, a smile teasing her lips like she was often asked the question with the same worried tone by fathers. “You can cut now, just here.”

Charles’ steadied his hand and found he underestimated how tough the cord would be, before gripping the scissors tighter and snipping through. “Can I…hold him?”

There was a bustle of activity as the mother midwife and a nurse made Grace comfortable, but Charles was fully focused on the tiny bundle that Ann carried towards him. “Take a seat, papa.”

Charles grinned at the new title and took a seat, opening the gown over his chest so she could place his son onto the warmth his body offered. Already, there were tufts of dark hair on his head and Charles brushed his fingers over it feeling how soft they were. His son blinked at the touch, squirming against the lights before settling against Charles’ chest and looking up.

Your eyes. Those were your eyes, set above Charles’ nose. Those were Charles’ dimples appearing on his cheeks beside your lips. A brilliant balance of his and your features wrapped up in a baby born to be loved. His lips parted silently, as if he were experiencing the same sense of awe that Charles did. It was the same look he had seen on your face as you watched the dawn rise and the light chase away the dark when you couldn’t sleep.

“Lucas,” he murmured as he delicately stroked his cheek and stared in amazement at the wonder he held. Lucas, it had been one name he liked because it meant bringer of light. It felt as if the flaking chips from his rusty heart were falling away with each second he held his son, and beneath the damage and decay it shined anew.

“It’s perfect,” Grace agreed with a tired smile.

“Is there anything I can get you?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me. Enjoy this moment, Charles.” She seemed wistful for a second. “Before you know it they are walking, then running, and there’s no catching them then. Promise me you’ll enjoy this moment.”

Of all the people, he didn’t need reminding of how cruel time could be. But he had learned how to cherish the time he had, it was the last and the hardest lesson you had taught him.

“I promise.” His promise was to Grace, his promise was to Lucas, and his promise was to you. He wouldn’t waste a second of his life, not now that he had the most precious gift to live for.

[viktoronko]

AHHHHHHH IT'S 2 AM AND I CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE I'M DAYDREAMING ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP WITH A TGUY WHO IS A BIT MEAN TO ME BUT IN A LOVING WAY

LIKE DUDE I NEED A GUY WHO WILL HELP ME APPLY MY TAPE WHILE TEASING ME FOR BEING TICKLISH

I NEEEEEEEEED A GUY WHOM I CAN WARP MY ARMS AROUND WHILE HE IS DOING HIS WORK

I NEEEEEEEEED A GUY WHO WILL RUN AFTER ME WHEN I TAKE HIS GLASSES OFF AND RUN AWAY AAHHHHH AND THEN WE WOULD END UP ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING TOGETHER

I NEEEEEEEEED TO ANNOY A PRETTY GUY TO A POINT WHERE WE PHYSICALLY FIGHT FOR FUN AND HE ENDS UP ALL SWEATY WHILE BREATHING HEAVILY ON TOP OF ME

I NEEED A GUY WHOM I CAN JUST KISS PASSIONATELY TILL MY LIP PIERCING BLEEDS AND THEN HE WOULD SUCK THE BLOOD OUT OF IT

AHHHHHHHHHH I'M GOING TO BED NOW CUZ I KNOW THAT I'LL CRINGE LIKE SHIT WHEN I WILL READ THIS IN THE MORNING

GOOD NIGHT, GOD BLESS Y'ALLS SLEEP!

[ilovemensomuchagh]

I NEEEEEEEEED ANKIN SKYAAKMEFLAKS KJ SBAKBO I NEED HIM IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY 😔😔😔😔🙏🙏🙏👅👅😒😒😒😒 🤗🤗🤗 y'all it's currently 4:41am I need to go to bed😔😔...

[artdcnaldson]

genuinely think someone needs to take me out back and shoot me. bc why can’t i think of anything else besides summer before stanford………….. #that summer……

perhaps just me projecting bc i’ve been spending my summer working and sleeping and playing sims and not going out 😝 neeeeeeeeed to fall in love with my two boy best friends and go swimming with them and to parties and sleep in their bed and be handsy with them but it’s fine!!! we’re just best friends!!!:) neeeed the tension the yearning the mess

Yeah :((((( #needthat badly :((( the yearning the tension the love

[droopycoquette]

Horny Jail || San x Reader

Summary: San wants to fuck but you need to be productive.

Warnings: Sexual themes, fluff, funny

Word count: 698 words

|*|

"San no," you groaned as you continued to scrub the floor.

"But, babyyyy," he whined. "I want you."

"Well, I have things to do," you informed him. "This place isn't going to clean itself, my paper is due next week, and I have to study for my other classes."

"But I want to fuck," he cried as he rolled around on the floor.

"Stop being such a baby. Sometimes you have to be productive," you sighed as you rolled your eyes and picked up the bucket full of water to move spots.

He smiled up at you before getting up again to follow you and as he did he began to reach for your hips.

"No," you frowned, slapping his hands away.

He pouted before going to the kitchen. He wanted you so bad. How could you do this to him?

"Baby," he called.

"NooOOooOOoOooOOoOoo," you groaned as you continued to scrub the floor.

"Ugh," he whined.

"Why don't you do something productive," you suggested. "Don't you have a performance coming up?"

"They told us to rest before practice again on Thursday," he sighed.

"Then go take a nap or a shower," you smiled.

"That's so boring," he whined.

"Why are you so whiny today," you questioned as you finished cleaning.

"You know why," he accused. "I neeeeeeeeed yooouuuu."

You rolled your eyes before sitting down at your desk to start working on your paper.

"I have to ride this productive high. I don't get bursts of energy like this often so I have to make the most of it," you explained.

"You can make good use of it by moving your body and getting some exercise in," he smirked as he watched you work.

Again, you rolled your eyes. You continued to type and stare at your screen before feeling skin on your shoulder. You looked up and saw San shirtless and just then, an idea clicked in your head.

"Baby, stop," you groaned as you let your hand trail up and down his torso, feeling his muscles.

"You know you can't say no to my body," he smirked.

You stood up and wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. He groaned into the kiss and began to bring his hands to your ass.

"Finally," he sighed into the kiss.

He began to guide you both to your bedroom, he took your hand and sped off with you in tow. Right as you got to the bed you pushed him down and took off your shirt.

"How could you deprive me of your body," he moaned.

As you crawled over on top of him you reached to grab the black and fluffy handcuffs from the bedside drawer.

"Is babygirl feeling kinky," he teased.

"You have no idea," you giggled.

You grabbed his right hand, locked it in, then locked the other cuff around the bed frame. You got up and grabbed the key from the drawer and put it in your pocket.

"Stay here daddy, I'll be right back," you informed in a sultry tone.

When you were out of his line of sight you began a giggle fest. You couldn't believe he fell for that. You grabbed his phone from the counter and a couple of bags of chips so he wouldn't get hungry.

"And a water bottle," you muttered to yourself as you shuffled over to the fridge.

You walked back to the room trying to balance everything.

"Alright," you said as you announced yourself.

"What are you doing baby," he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, you're going to be here a while. I wouldn't want you to go hungry or get bored."

You dropped everything onto the bed before rushing back to the doorway so he wouldn't be able to grab you.

"Come back here," he demanded as he realized what was going on.

"Uh uh, you're in horny jail. You're lucky I don't bonk you," you giggled.

You began to head back to your desk.

"Y/n! Get back here now! When I get out of these you're in for it baby girl!"

You laughed to yourself as you began to type again.

"Sorry, not sorry Daddy."

|*|

A/N: Please leave me feedback <3

[sydmarch]

I neeeeeeeeed to go to bed now I'm not trying to fall asleep in the middle of getting my hair bleached tomorrow lmao

[ruensroad]

hhhh i love all your writings, each time you post a prompt, I'm like "wtf I need a follow up in the universe" like the empath!cop!JC, neeeeeeeeed. T-T Also, your xicheng fic with baby JL is one of my fav. (Xicheng ? AND Nephew/Uncle feelings, the best) can you do prompt 46 or 58, please ? or even one prompt that you'd really liked to be requested xD

Ahhh wow thank you so much! I put this in the empath!cop!JC verse for you :D and sprinkled in some adorable nephews!

Prompt is from this list here.

Prompt 46 & 58 | “I can beat you up, you know that right?” & “You’re never this quiet, what’s wrong?” | Xicheng (+ Nie Mingjue)

In many ways, being dead wasn’t all that bad. Besides the rather annoying one-sidedness of it all, Nie Mingjue would admit there were worse things to dying and refusing to cross over. He got to watch over who he wanted, and haunt who he wanted, and had even learned to push things over, which was more fun than it had any right to be.

The bad part wasn’t that he was dead, but that no one else seemed to know it. The media deemed him a missing person, his brother and his friends under the impression he’d just up and left them. And that made him angry, because surely they knew him better than that. Surely they’d see the snake in the grass and know something bad had happened.

It’d been over two years and his body had not been found. The police had stopped looking, his brother had moved on with his life. Huan had finally started writing his music again and Meng Yao had gotten away with murder.

That was the worst part. Not that he’d loved the man, trusted him, been so blind. But that he’d been killed and Meng Yao had slipped through suspicion like oil over water.

The first months, Nie Mingjue had resolutely spent his time going back and forth between Huan and Huaisang, half afraid Meng Yao would try to weedle into their vulnerabilities and plant himself like a weed. But then Huaisang had moved in with a roommate who had a guardian ghost, and a very protective one, and though the dramatic spirit spoke the most archaic Chinese Nie Mingjue had ever heard, they’d managed to find common ground in their want to protect Huaisang.

And with his brother protected best he could be, it gave him leave to watch over Huan and hope for a resolution to his case before Meng Yao used his charms on Huan and their friend ended up with a bullet to the face the way Nie Mingjue had.

But since the reopening of his case by a cold case detective, Huan had gone into a weird mood. One that shifted this way and that and he didn’t seem to understand why. Nie Mingjue knew a crush when he saw one, given how often Huaisang had fallen in and out of love with people, and wished Huan could hear him laugh. Because of course Huan would fall for a bad boy, just as Nie Mingjue told him he would.

He wouldn’t say he was pleased that Huan wanted Detective Jiang. He was a good man, Nie Mingjue could see that readily enough, but he wasn’t exactly pleasant to be around. He was cutting, and fierce, and competent, independent to a fault and rigidly stubborn. Even his ability to see and talk to Nie Mingjue wasn’t quite enough to overcome his unease with it all, but even he’d admit the asshole was growing on him. And he was a friend to Huaisang, which was something Nie Mingjue would always account for. His brother was smarter than he allowed people to know. If this prickly man was a friend, then there was a damn good reason for it, so Nie Mingjue did his best to cooperate with him, even if he was terrible at following orders.

Huan would laugh to see them bicker, but as it was he was sitting at his studio sighing, pencil tapping on his desk, eyes unfocused on the sheet music. He’d been writing a new song after nearly a year of not touching his scores and it was clearly fighting him. Nie Mingjue had never seen him distracted to this extent and it worried him that Meng Yao might be the reason for it. 

“You’re never this quiet,” he murmured, knowing he would not be heard, but unable to help himself. “What’s wrong?”

He’d found, during his afterlife, that answers were easy to find if he tried hard enough. Feeling for things, like studying a map too hard and feeling the eyes start to strain forward. He did that then, focusing on the music sheets, and felt a soft pull to the title written across the top. Wanyin. Night poetry. Artistic and vague, as Huan always was, and he snorted.

“That’s for Detective Jiang, isn’t it?”

Somehow he knew it was true, even if he couldn’t get the answer straight up, and moved over to the door to peek out the window into the hall. It was close to time for the lesson bell and Lan Zhan would be ushering out his brightest pupil, a young boy named Wen Yuan who’d taken up guqin after watching a performance. His adoptive father, one Doctor Wei, happened to be Detective Jiang’s brother and could see Nie Mingjue too. The boy, thankfully, could not, which was a relief. He could not control what form those who could see him would be, after all, and the last thing he wanted was to scare an innocent child to death. Detective Jiang had seen him with a bullet in his face. Doctor Wei had seen the dirty, discarded body.

He himself saw what he wore the night he died. His favorite jacket, his old army boots, comfortable jeans. The softest shirt he owned that he didn’t actually like that much, but Meng Yao had adored it.

In the end, he’d put three holes in that shirt, a hole in his face, and shoved his body into a hole three feet deep and covered in concrete. It was little wonder he still hadn’t been found.

The bell rang overhead, finally snapping Huan out of his daze. He quickly got up and hurried to the door, always eager to watch his brother subtly flirt with Doctor Wei, which Nie Mingjue knew was the highlight of the day, not to mention he got to see all the happy kids always so eager to tell him about their lessons. Nie Mingjue didn’t mind it, liked feeling the atmosphere the children brought to the air, and wasn’t the only ghost floating down the hall in the sea of excitable ducklings.

Like clockwork, Wen Yuan was shown out of Lan Zhan’s classroom, his guqin wrapped and strapped securely on his back. It dwarfed him almost comically, in Nie Mingjue’s opinion. But it was not Doctor Wei waiting there with his too big smiles and too loud laughter. Huan pulled up short and Nie Mingjue peeked around him, amused at the red overtaking his friend’s cheeks.

“That is not how you punch,” the man huffed to the tiny boy in his arms, who was failing miserably at connecting his fist to Detective Jiang’s palm. Little cheeks puffed and the boy quickly stopped trying to smack his hand, managing a solid, if glancing, hit to his chin. The man glared while the boy peeled off into laughter. “I can beat you up, you know that right?” the cop demanded, bouncing the boy, and got louder giggles for his effort.

Wen Yuan went rushing past them before Huan managed to move, and before Nie Mingjue could decide if he wanted to waste energy pushing his friend forward. “Shu-shu! What are you doing here?”

Detective Jiang huffed at him, but allowed Wen Yuan to grab his hand. “Your idiot of a father got stuck at work so I told him I’d come get you. A-Ling also wanted to say hello.”

“A-Ling says hello,” the boy in his arms chirped happily, waving to his cousin. Wen Yuan reached up to grab his hand and tickled him with a grin.

“I can see why he likes you,” Nie Mingjue snorted and decided that, yes, he was going to push his hopeless friend into action. Thankfully, Huan had remembered vocabulary and how to use it and moved forward on his own. Progress.

“Detective.” He was all smiles, oozing confidence, but his face was a flushed mess. By the way Detective Jiang raised an eyebrow at him, the front wasn’t exactly successful.

“Lan Huan,” he got a slight bow and a crooked grimace that was probably supposed to be a smile. Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes so hard he felt them roll all the way back. Good grief. He felt the man’s mind connect to his own and he was mentally flipped off, making him smirk back. At least the man had guts.

“I was wondering… would you perhaps be free this evening?” Huan asked and Nie Mingjue’s own mind flickered as Detective Jiang’s did, his ability feeling out what Huan wanted to truly ask. It was fascinating, feeling the workings of a mind not his own, and blinked when Detective Jiang focused in on a ticket resting in Huan’s back pocket, one Nie Mingjue hadn’t even known was there.

“For the performance?” Detective Jiang asked, calm and at ease even as Huan blinked in surprise. Again, his mind flickered, going through his schedule, to plans for the case, and the want to simply go to bed and sleep. Nie Mingjue narrowed his eyes at the man in challange, daring him to even think of not coming when asked, and that mental fuck off rang through their connection again.

“I - Yes,” Huan licked his lips and pulled out the ticket. “I have more if you’d like to bring your family,” he offered, eager and hopeful.

To the man’s credit, he melted instantly. Nie Mingjue could feel his reservations about any sort of relationship, especially when it was so close to Nie Mingjue’s case, but he was perfectly soft for Huan and that’s what mattered.

When Detective Jiang took the ticket, their fingers brushed, a pointed move, and Huan got a slightly better looking grimace-smile that time. “I’ll be there.” As long as no ghosts interrupt.

That was aimed at Nie Mingjue and he flipped the man off. “I’m not out to destroy Huan’s love life, asshole. Be there or I will make your night a living hell.”

You already do, Detective Jiang pointed out, even as he turned to his nephews, one with huge eyes, the other shyly hiding from Huan. “A-Yuan, do you want to go?”

“Yes, please yes,” Wen Yuan looked up at Huan with his best smile, easing his friend into a far more comforted state.

“And your father will want to go as well,” Huan hummed, thoughtful, but not without a sly look at Lan Zhan, who’s ears turned red. “I’ll get you as many tickets as you need.”

“Jiu-jiu, me too?” the other boy whispered, still casting a shy smile Huan’s way.

“You too, A-Ling, and your ba-ba and ma-ma. Does that sound like fun?”

A happy nod. “Listen to the pretty music.”

That got Huan a pointed look, almost flirty, and maybe Detective Jiang wasn’t as terrible at this as he seemed to be. “Yes, very pretty music.”

“Fuck, I’ll have to keep you alive now, just for that,” Nie Mingjue crossed his arms in exasperation, shaking his head at the blushing delight that overtook Huan’s face. Hopeless. So fucking hopeless.

I’ll keep myself alive. Just protect Lan Huan.

So, he knew then. Nie Mingjue met his eye and nodded once, all soldier, before grinning wide.

It was going to be one hell of a night.

[thetheatregang]

Insomnia - Ricky/Nini

I’m FINALLY posting this after a MONTH of writing, editing, and tweaking! I really hope you like it!

This is story is heavily based in Instagram DMs/texts, so I put anything that is in a DM in italics to differentiate just in case there’s confusion.

Plot: After months of not speaking, Ricky and Nini reconnect over Instagram DMs.

Nini’s POV

*buzzzzzzz*

The loud vibration of my iPhone startles me awake. 

I didn’t realize it was even on. I look at the time: 1:27 AM. 

Ugh, so late. But what really shocks me is the notification on my screen: A DM, from Ricky Bowen. My ex-boyfriend. 

Who kissed me, and told me he loved me on Opening Night of the musical, the musical he only joined to get me back in the first place. 

The boy who left town after winter break, fleeing to Chicago when things got “too hard” at home. I haven’t heard from Ricky since the day he left Salt Lake City. It’s been three months. 

skateratricky replied to your story

Ricky replied to my story? I forgot I even had one set. I open the message. 

skateratricky: #4 combo with salt and vinegar chips and a Dr. Pepper? kinda jealous…

My instagram story was of me and Kourtney eating at Marino’s sandwich shop, one of our favorite places in town. A sandwich shop that opened near East High our freshman year. Me and Ricky used to go there a lot. Pretty much every Saturday the whole time we were dating. 

What do I do? Do I reply? Does he even really want to talk to me? Is he just being friendly. I exit Instagram and text Kourtney. She’ll know what to do. 

NINI: Ricky texted me…

KOURT 💄: GIRL WHAT???????

NINI: He replied to my insta story, the pic of us at Marino’s. 

KOURT 💄: Are you gonna message him back?

NINI: Should I? I wouldn’t even know what to say!

KOURT 💄: YES! You know you’ve been dying to talk to him! Shoot your shot girl!

Okay, so I guess if Kourtney thinks I should go for it, then maybe I should. I relaunch Instagram, and pull his message back up:

skateratricky: #4 combo with salt and vinegar chips and a Dr. Pepper? kinda jealous…

niniukegirl: you SHOULD be 😆🍞

I type carefully, adding emojis to show that I’m being casual. Were the emojis too much? Ugh this is so stressful. Just then, Ricky’s chat bubble appears. He’s replying?

skateratricky: I neeeeeeeeed a sandwich next time I’m in town! U down to go with me?

Woah. Is he serious right now?? He’s gonna ghost me for THREE months, then ask me if I’m down for a SANDWICH? This is ridiculous…

niniukegirl: Um, sure… I guess? Why are you asking me to have a sandwich with you at nearly 2 am? WAIT if you’re in Chicago, wouldn’t it be more like almost 3 am?

This kids gotta be out of his mind. I knew Ricky was an insomniac, but 3 am? Wow. When does he find time to sleep?

skateratricky: Oh, yeah, sorry. Did I wake you? I didn’t think you’d answer...

Yes. Yes you DID wake me, but I don’t think I’ll tell you that.

niniukegirl: It’s fine, I wasn’t really sleeping yet anyway. Why are you still up?

skateratricky: Couldn’t sleep. Mom’s apartment is in the city so it’s kinda loud. It’s right next to a train track and I’m not really used to it yet, honestly. 

That’s not surprising. Ricky has always had to sleep in pitch black and dead silence. I’ll bet with all the city lights and people who live in the city, he doesn’t get much of that.

niniukegirl: Yikes, that sucks. How’s Lynne? 

Ricky’s always been close with his mom. In all honesty, I couldn’t believe he didn’t leave sooner. I hoped he would stay to try out for the spring musical, but no. Which, unfortunately has left me to play Sandy in Grease with EJ, my other ex-boyfriend. 

skateratricky: Lynne is good. Misses SLC but LOVES Chicago. She’s dating which is… weird, but good. 

niniukegirl: Still the guy from Opening Night, or no? I’m glad she’s doing well though, she deserves it. 

skateratricky: Yeah, Todd. He’s a good guy, he’s her coworker. He and his daughter live in the apartment below me and my mom. 

niniukegirl: At least she’s happy. I should head to bed, but tell your mom I miss her 💕

skateratricky: She misses you too, trust me. So do I… Goodnight, Nini

My heart skips a beat. He misses me. No surprise there. I know he left in such a hurry. But I know he really missed his mom, no matter how hard that was for him to admit, so could I really be shocked he wanted to spend time with her? But then again, could I ever forgive him for breaking my heart twice?

[tauforged]

i neeeeeeeeed to go. to BED. fuck

[callmetippytumbles]

A Happy New Year (Liam x MC)

Tippy’s Note: So listen, it’s been a hot minute since I did a fanfic.  Blah, blah, life. Blah, blah, busy. Other stuff.  I wanted to get back into the swing of things with something fluffy, sweet and in the spirit of the season.  Like the first fanfic, Tipsy Halle had to make an appearance.  I hope you guys like it.  I may have more stuff cooking for you guys.

Disclaimer: Choices owns this and I do not.

Words Counted: 2,135 Rating: PG Pairing: Liam x MC (Halle), Driara

Liam x MC tags: @jacksonsmaine @umccall71 @blackcoffee85 @theroyalweisme @writtenbycandy@hopefulmoonobject @mynameiskaylabella  @the-everlasting-dream@zigbadboy  @indiacater @lolablackwrites  @i-choose-liam

Fic tags: @coldcolectornight08  @brightpinkpeppercorn  @smalltalk88

Halle and Liam sat in front of one of the large pine trees outside of Applewood Manor.  Their large grins trained on the camera in front of them.

“Wishing a Merry Christmas…” Liam started.

“...And Happy Holidays to you and yours.” Halle added, hoping the huskiness to her voice brought warmth and not exhaustion.  

“And an extra happy holiday to you.” Liam cooed to the youngest Rhys, two-year-old Asher, Ash for short, who nuzzled against his mother.  The young boy smiled and clasped his father’s nose in his gloved hands.

Five-year-olds Kalilah and Zuri sat in front of them and waved to the camera. While Zuri continued to wave, Kalilah reached down into the snow and threw a snowball at her brother and father.  Zuri quickly retaliated and soon the peaceful moment descended into chaos.  Lilah had Zuri pinned within seconds.  Ash patted snow on his sister’s back leaving Halle and Liam to have a battle of their own.  

Halle smashed a snowball on her husband’s face.

“Is that how you want to play, my love?”

She didn’t finish her nod before Liam tackled her in the snow.

“Cut,” An exasperated Madeleine shouted behind the camera crew.  “So much for a regal but festive address.” She threw her hands up in the air.

Halle pulled Lilah off of her brother while Liam held Ash. They walked over to where Madeleine was with the camera crew.

“Think we have it now?”

“No, Your Majesty, we do not. We should do one more take.”

Zuri groaned.

Halle looked down at her children.  Lilah looked about ready to cry.  Zuri had his arms across his chest.  They were more than done.  Ash was also over it, getting antsy in his father’s arms.  

“I don’t think the twins have another take in them and Ash is about ready for a nap.”  

“I still think…”

“Maybe the snow fight is a good thing,” St. James interjected.  “It makes them seem down to earth.”

“They are not down to earth, they are the Royal Family of Cordonia.  This isn’t some cutesy e-card we are making for Grandma.”

Ash became even fussier, fighting his father’s embrace, his small limbs flailing in every direction.  “I say that we go with this one.  With the snowball fight.” Liam giving his final word while trying to calm the toddler.

“Of course, Your Majesty,” Madeleine says with a fake grin, though the tightness in her jaw said otherwise.  She walked away with a determined stride, calling over her shoulder as she went.  “Make sure that the footage gets to the editor ASAP.  I want this on every television station by primetime and on Instagram before tea-time.”

“I am already on it.” St. James hollered back.

Now Drake was playing the clip of Liam getting smashed with a snowball on his phone during New Years Eve gathering that Halle and Liam were hosting at the Valtoria Estate.  

“You don’t get to see that every day,” Drake pointed out.  “The Sovereign Ruler of Cordonia getting pummelled with snow.”

“I seem to recall you being buried in snow by your wife and son on Instagram. I think it even had the caption hashtag ‘snow daddy’” Liam countered.  

“But I am not the king.”

“Dieu merci pour ça,” Kiara said as she joined the two men. “The last thing we need is a grumpy monarch who would spend an alarming amount of the GDP on whiskey.”

“I am not a grump.”

His best friend raised his eyebrow and his wife side-eyed him.  

“I am not!” Drake defended.  “I like fun.  Woo. Fun. Good times for all.”

“But you are my dear, and I love you anyway,” Kiara added with a kiss on Drake’s cheek.

“You’ve got to now.  You’re stuck with me.” Drake kissed her on the lips.

“Guess I am... Snow Daddy.”

“Truer words have never been spoken.”

Zuri ran up to his father, his footie pajamas slipping on the hardwood floors. “Can we do sock slides with Uncle Maxwell?”

Henri, Drake and Kiara’s son followed closely behind. “Yeah, can we?”

“What did your mother say?”

“Ask your father.”

“Did she now?  Well, I guess I do not see the immediate harm in this.” Liam reasoned.

“They would be with an adult,” Kiara added.

“You are calling Maxwell an adult?”

Henri held onto his father’s leg.  Drake saw his own eyes peer back at him as he pouted his mother’s lips.  

“Please,” the child begged with a lip quiver.

Drake sighed, “Fine.”

“Yes!” Henri cheered, his pout vanishing.

“Sock slide contest with Uncle Maxwell!”

“He has all the best tricks.”

Henri and Zuri ran off in search of their fun uncle, leaving the adults to themselves.

A waiter walked by with a tray of drinks.  Liam and Drake picked up tumblers of scotch while Kiara’s had non-alcoholic Lythikos eggnog. She and Drake were expecting their second child, so that meant no wine for her.  This led to a discussion about adjusting from one child to two.  Liam did not have much to offer in that discussion since he and Halle went from zero to two in one go.  

Halle had Ash for most of the night.  He didn’t do well with spending long periods of time with the nanny or with lots of new people in the house.  With all of the strangers in the house, Ash was especially clingy.  Any time she would put the child down to have him play with the other children, he would throw a tantrum that could only be calmed by a mother’s love.  Eventually, the stimulation became too much and Ash tired himself out.  Now Halle was free to actually enjoy the party that she planned.  

Heading towards the great hall where everyone was, she was intercepted by Bastien.  

“Your Majesty, we have a situation in the kitchen.”

“Liam!”

Bastien held his hands up.  “No-no, it’s not your husband, it’s your son.”

“What happened.”

“We can walk and talk.”

Halle entered her kitchen to find Zuri and Henri passed out by an half-eaten chocolate cake.  

“Zuri!”

“Mamma?” The boy sleepily responded.

“How did you get here?”

“Well we were feeling sleepy and Uncle Maxwell said that if we eat a lot of sugar we can stay awake until midnight.”

“Like the grown-ups,” Henri added.

“Well, how grown up do the two of you feel?”

Zuri groaned, “Well being a grown-up means being tired.”

“My tummy hurts.”

“I bet it does.”

Halle wiped the chocolate frosting smeared on the boys' faces, then put the chocolate cake in the fridge.  While wiping down the counter, she saw a sight that made her stop in her tracks.  Her eyes scanned the liquor cabinet and landed on a full bottle of her favorite, Hennessy Pure White.  Halle smiled.  I am gonna make my way back to you, beloved, she thought to herself.

Halle motioned for Bastien to grab Henri while she grabbed Zuri.  In Zuri’s room, she changed both of them out of their cake soiled pajamas and into clean ones and put them to bed.  She sent Kiara a text letting her know where her son was.  As soon as both boys were sound asleep in their beds, Halle beelined back to the kitchen.  Once there, she found the Hennessy Pure White that was flirting with her earlier.  

“Come to Mama!”

Halle made herself a quick, but potent island punch and rejoined the party upstairs, drink in hand.  

Later on that night a little closer to midnight, Liam was looking for his wife to have a moment alone but had not seen her since she made him hold Asher for a quick bathroom break.  There was a tug on his pant leg.  He looked down to see Lilah trying to get his attention.

“Ready for bed?” He asked picking her up.

She slowly shook her head.  “No. I will make it to midnight like the grown-ups.”

“You do not have to.  If you feel tired, I can tuck you in.  I am sure Zuri is already asleep.”

“I’m okay, papa,” she said before stifling a yawn.

“Let’s go find mamma though.”

“Mamma is over there.”

The room fell quiet as Liam turned his head.  Hana was in front of the baby grand piano while Halle laid atop it.  Halle perked up when Hana started to play the opening bars to a song.  Liam was familiar with the melody, but couldn’t grasp the words or the name.  Then he heard it.

“I believe the children are our future…”

Lilah buried her head in the crook of her father’s neck.

“No, mama, no,” she whined covering her ears.

“Teach them well and let them lead the way.  Show them all the beauty they possess insiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide.”

Hana giggled as Halle drew out that last note but continued her flawless playing.  

“Give them a sense of pride….”

“You have lost all of yours, Halle,” Drake mumbled to himself.  “Question is which bottle of Hennessey took it.”  

Kiara smacked her husband hard on the chest.  He responded with a shrug and finished off the finger of scotch in his glass. Liam moved towards the front of the room holding their daughter, not only to get a better view of the show but to be ready to intervene if things went downhill.  

Halle slid off the piano and approached her husband and daughter, continuing to sing.

“Let the children's laaaaaaaaughter remind us how we used to beeeeeeee.”

She booped Lilah on the nose.  Lilah snuggled into her father more.

“Every–”

“Everybody's searching for a hero,” Maxwell sang joining the Queen.

Halle strode to his side and whispered, My time to shine.

Maxwell whispered back, Sharing is caring.

“People need someone to look up to, I never found anyone who fulfilled my neeeeeeeeeds,” He continued.  “A lonely place to be, and so I learned to depend on meeee.”

Not being one to be outdone or overtaken, Halle cut back in, raising her voice. “I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows.”

Maxwell roared back, “If I fail, if I succeeeeeeeeed, at least I'll live as I believeeeee.”

“No matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignityyyyyyy!” Halle sang back, dramatically pointing to her chest.

“The greaaaaaaaatesssssst love of allllllllll–” Maxwell sang.

Halle turned to face him, “Is happening to meeeee!”

Maxwell stepped closer, “I found the greatest love of all, inside of me”

“THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL–”

“IS EASY TO ACHIEVE!”

They both stopped for a moment.  Hana stopped playing once she saw that they went silent.  They stared at each other.  Maxwell was red in the face.  Halle had developed some sweat along her hairline.  When the moment could not get any tenser, they broke down and started laughing.

“Learning to love yourself,” they sang in unison,  “it is the greatest love of all.”

Everyone in the room applauded the impromptu performance.

Maxwell and Halle embraced.  Halle held him close and whispered, we will talk about you leaving my son alone with a sheet cake later.  Maxwell gulped and smiled nervously while everyone applauded.  Hana stood from behind the piano and joined the two of them.  They linked hands and took a final bow.

Halle joined Liam and Lilah.  She gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead as she continued to rest on her father’s shoulder.  

“You wanted to drop the mic and say ‘Sexual Chocolate’ so bad, didn’t you?” Liam whispered.

She let out a disappointed sigh, “No need to rub it in.” He rubbed her back soothing her mild disappointment.

“Oh my God! It’s almost midnight!” Savannah shouted from across the room.

Everyone counted down the final moments of the year.  When the clock struck midnight, the first minute of the new year was filled with the sound of applause, champagne poppers, party horns.  Couples kissed.  Bottles of champagne were opened with loud pops and served to everyone.

Lilah perked up a little during the commotion but quickly returned to sleeping on Liam’s shoulder.  He and Halle brought her to bed before returning to their guests.

The party went on for a little while longer after that and when it was finally over, Liam and Halle were finally alone in the Royal Chambers.  They were in their bed, still awake, despite the long party.  Liam pressed his forehead against Halle’s.  

“Happy new year, my love.”

“Happy new year, my king.”

His hand cupped her face as he dipped down to kiss her.  She pressed herself closer to him returning it.

“We didn’t sneak off during this party to have any time to ourselves,” Halle commented.

“We are alone now.”

“We are.”

Liam yawned, “Want to raincheck in the morning.”

Halle nodded, “Yeah.”

With that, they began the new year the way they planned to spend the rest of their lives, together, in each other’s arms.  

[nelfs]

i think my job is the only thing in my life keeping me from like actually attempting to off myself right now. being outside for 8 hours every day with people I genuinely like is so so so helpful. I went in an hour late today because I was so miserable I couldn't move and also in menstrual pain. all the power had left my body and I laid inert in bed with tears just passively dripping down my face. but now I feel better after working. I have no idea where I'm going to move and the move is in less than 2 months and I have so much stuff, how am I going to move it. i still need to get health insurance and a new wallet since i lost mine... where am I gonna live bro. my relationships suck and my mental health is tapped and I'm gaining weight again and I think I'm the biggest problem in my life. i just neeeeeeeeed things to get better and I also need to try medication again. I can't live my whole life like this, I won't make it :(

[denombreuxcontes]

out of stories. hi icky mobile post before i go to bed but i just wanted to say SOMEONE GIVE ME VIGILANTE!ISABELLA PLEASE AND THANKS im having major vigilante!isabella feels rn and i just neeeeeeeeed this ok good night for realsies now

[damnitcarrie]

Reboot Needed

Wow, eight months already. I can’t believe how far I’ve made it. A lot of people have doubted me and a lot more people questioned on just how insane I am. To be quite frank, I’m not sure if this was a sane decision or the act of hitting rock bottom. I know I should be proud of myself but now I’m second guessing myself. I’m depriving myself of some basic human fundamentals and what’s my end game? Seriously. I wanted to go just the summer and after I met that goal, I had no sex drive. I thought maybe I could go the rest of the year. I miss having some hot sweaty sex so fucking much. I kinda just wanna do it now but like I said, no sex drive. I don’t even know what turns me on anymore. I rarely look at porn as well. My biggest dilemma, I don’t want to have sex with old fuck buddies and I sure as hell don’t want to have sex with anybody new. But I neeeeeeeeed dick. I don’t even know how good I’ll be in bed anyways. Like which hole does it go in? (Lol that was a joke). Anyways, I am happy with the goals I’ve made thus far, just want to know where I see myself because I have the slightest clue.