#I TYPED WALmart let's try again

[heartsforyume]

𝙍𝙖𝙣 𝙃𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙞 𝙭 𝙛𝙚𝙢!𝙨𝙝𝙮!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙃𝘾𝙎

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙉𝙤𝙩𝙚: Im sorry this took a day long but please enjoy this , i didint really had much of a motivation for making this but..hope yall love it. love yall, SAY IT BACK.

(𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙉𝙤𝙩𝙚: i love this photo too much oml)

𝙎𝙁𝙒 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙉𝙊𝙉𝙎:

-This man makes you mad for his own enjoyment.

-he loves embarrassing you in public, mostly screaming "THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND!" in a walmart, or "I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND!" in a target.

-he absolutely loves PDA because you hate it.

-when i tell you this man loves you, he LOVES you. as in "id let the world burn for you" type of love.

-although he teases you alot , he definitely takes you seriously when your mad..(mostly because he doesn't wanna get his ass whooped.)

-never lets you win on "i love you battles.

-this man will never hurt you, except in the bed.

-in the first week of dating, he always tried to steer the conversation when it came to his occupation, to him he knew he was a badass, but he didint want to look like some sort of weird ass hoodlum to you

-Like his brother, he's very possesive of you, your a grown ass woman and your here with a curfew at 7:00pm.

-one time, he tried to teach you how to fight..it left him frustrated for days..now he prefers protecting you.

-he lets you wear the most revealing ass clothes outside, knowing he's got the power to protect you.

-lets you play with hid hair while watching a movie.

-hes definitely worn a "i have a girlfriend go away" shirt outside with you and without you.

-he says "im married" to girls who ask for his number just to fluster you."

-gets jealous over such small things. like his brother asking a favor from you, you going out with friends. (he sulks afterwards)

-he triggers your bratty side alot..he probably has a kink for it but that will be discussed after sfw.

-he adores you at the fact that you always try to be on the same pace as him, trying to be a wild , energetic , kiling machine.

𝙉𝙎𝙁𝙒 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙉𝙊𝙉𝙎:

-Has called you mommy once or twice.

-usually top but he doesnt mind being sub..although he will be abit unpatient and take control again.

-he bites his lip everytime you give him head, the pleasure taking over him..he'll eventually grab your hair making you take more of him.

-he goes harder and deeper on you when you show your bratty side.

-always leaves hickeys and bruises on you, marking his territory.

-he has a pretty high sex drive, so if your tired..dont care, he'll go again.

(im sorry if the nsfw headcannons were iffy..im just really tired rn. but still love yall..shinichiro next..?)

[amathslutsguidetofandom]

"Guess I'm Just Good With Them" - 2

PAIRINGS: James "Bucky" Barnes x SingleMom!Reader

WARNINGS: Slight insecurities about being a single mom, extreme fluffiness

WORD COUNT: 915

*not proof-read*

ENJOY!

Sinking into the couch, you groan. It's been an hour trying to put Leila to sleep. And with consistency, you finally have achieved that goal. You run your hands over your face trying to get the drowsiness to evade your eyes, you need to do some more chores. And you know you won't be able to get to them in the morning, with work and the babysitter coming to sit Leila.

Your phone pings. That's weird, it never pings.

It only does when it's your co-worker asking to cover their shift, or it's when your boss is telling you the unfortunate news of you having to work overtime.

But it is neither of those situations. It's an unknown number.

UNKNOWN: Hey there, this is James from Walmart.

You stare at the electronic brick in your hands. You tap on the notification and see the actual message.

Your jaw drops. He actually texted you. James actually texted you.

Your heart races slightly as your thumbs do that little dance over your screen. Biting your lip, you think about what you should write about.

YOU: Hi James! How are you? :)

You groan and tip your head back, thinking your reply is similar to that of a fourth grader. But, that thought instantly vanishes as you see the texting bubble on his side jump in a pattern. While they do you save his name in your contacts.

JAMES: I'm doing alright. How are you, and Leila? 🙂

You let out a deep breath and type again.

YOU: Oh! We’re doing well, thank you. YOU: Happy to hear that you’re doing well too! :)

What’s with you and that smiley face, you whine in embarrassment and throw your phone to the side. “God, why am I like this?” You whine as you run your hands down your face. You never thought twice about texting.

But when it comes to James, you had to. You don’t know why, but you feel flutters in your belly when your brain strays to think about him. You don’t force your brain to do so, it’s just a second nature, an unconscious habit.

You can’t help but think about his charming smile that was on display the whole time Leila looked at him, the way he let your baby girl play with his metal arm, the way he would coo at her when she became fussy.

Your phone pings. Reaching for your phone, you inhale and open the text.

JAMES: That is great to hear. 🙂

You push out your lips, wondering what to reply with.

YOU: :)

You internally groan at your teenage-like response.

JAMES: I just wanted to know if you and Leila are busy this weekend.

You’re heart races again, is he going to ask you out?

YOU: We're not :). Why?

Ok, you were really bold with that response.

JAMES: There is this thing at the Zoo a friend told me about, thought it would be a good idea for Leila to see it?

You are in shock, he really thought about your daughter when his friend mentioned a Zoo.

YOU: That’s a great idea :)

There’s a smile on your face when you hit send on your reply. The bubbles pop up again on James’ side.

JAMES: What about her mother? 🙂

Your heart does a loop. You re-read the message at least 10 times, repeating the words out loud just to make sure if you read it right. And you did.

He, kind of, asked you out.

YOU: Her mother would be happy :)

-----

The shade really did nothing to cool you off from the summer sun. You adjusted the battery powered fan to face Leila completely on the arm rest of the stroller.

Getting up from your bent position you see James approaching you with a backpack on his shoulders. He gives you that sheepish smile he gave you the first time you met. You raise your hand and wave at him, and he returns a two fingered wave.

“Hey,” he smiles at you again, before squatting and caressing Leila’s cheek with his finger. “Heya, peanut,” he smiles, and Leila giggles and grabs onto James’ finger.

“Ah, Leila. We don’t grab fingers, bubba,” you say slowly at your little girl. Leila slowly lets go of James’ finger but still smiles at him.

“She’s learning to listen,” he chuckles, adjusting the baseball cap on his head. You laugh and respond, “only because you are here, James. Otherwise, it’s a cryfest.” James laughs at your statement, nodding his head.

“Please, call me Bucky. My fri-people who know me do,” he clears his throat, and you nod smiling. “Of course, Bucky,” she smiles, and it immediately is pulled into a frown when Leila starts to whine. You’re quick to pick her up and carry her at your waist.

“She was fussy during nap time this morning, I'm sorry,” you explain, your insecurities of being not a good enough mom started to kick in.

Bucky gives a sympathetic smile and he nods along. He puts his hand on the stroller, “I can push the stroller.”

"Really?" You ask in shock, bouncing Leila in your arms. Bucky chuckles and nods, "yeah, it's not a problem for me."

"Thank you," you give a downward smile, and he smiles back.

“Shall we?” He asks with a small grin, ready to push the stroller.

You smile and nod, this man really is the nicest thing that has happened to you in a while.

💌💌💌

TAGLIST <3: @toffeacademia

Here is the part two lovelies!!!

I will be transferring this to a series, so yay!

(if you wanna be tagged in the series, pls comment here 🤗🤗)

The next thing I'm most gonna be posting is the first chapter of "Infinite Solutions"

Till' then,

Stay Coquette-y,

Anya 🫶🏽🕊️🎀

[olderthannetfic]

I will never, NEVER understand people who complain about Ao3 search system and how the archive isn't algorithm based. Ao3 is literally the only site that has a decent search system, at this point.

Anytime I need to Google something, I feel like I'm about to lose my mind. I wanted to research the reason why women in my country are more likely to get custody of their children, because all the studies I know about focus on the US and needed to compare them to make an argument, and the best I got were domestic violence stats, an article about a woman committing suicide, and stats about parents with shared custody.

And let's not talk about YouTube! My home page doesn't show any of the youtubers I follow unless I left a video unfinished (but, then again, it'll keep showing me unfinished videos even from people I'm not subscribed to), and the search system is completely fucked. When I write, I like to listen to those lyrics-less playlists titled stuff like "you're the last person after the end of the world," and now searching for them is a pain in the ass.

It doesn't matter how specific I try to get with them to get the results I want, YouTube will always show me a bunch of random playlists that have nothing to do with the keywords I used, will bring up several shorts even if I make sure to opt out of them anytime they pop up in my home feed, and ultimately loop me around to the content I usually consume.

"You typed 'Y2K nostalgiacore with birds'? How about 'Liminal spaces in a Walmart'? No? Okay, let's try 'Life after the nuclear holocaust." No again? Then fuck you, here's a full album of a band now popular on TikTok, twelve shorts that might be related to what you're looking for, and Danny Gonzalez videos. Fuck you."

And people just seem to be okay with this shit! Claim that it's easier! How the fuck is it easier, when you have to type and retype the same shit over and over again in the hope that that one word you decide to add or remove will suddenly change where the site brings you??

--

[fatphobiabusters]

Hey, sorry if this is a weird question but I'm trying to learn more since I honestly wasn't educated about fatphobia before and I'm trying to fix that (especially now that I won't be a teen in a few months and my mom could be considered fat and I love food so like we all know the body type I'll have in a few years). I often see people say that being fat is bad because people like firefighters and nurses get injured when saving/caring for them and I'd like to know if there's any way to like.. fix that? I obviously don't want very poorly compensated people risking their lives to get injured more than they have to but I also don't think policing people's bodies is right...

Hmmm where to start. The thing is nurses are understaffed, often asked to move patients by themselves when they shouldn't be. It's not just fat people that can injure a nurse, anyone who can't assist on their own lifting can. Lifting say, 180 pounds from the floor is risky, Hospital beds are closer to the average person waist plus there are handles and bars for the patient to assist. Rolling a patient in bed is difficult, again if the patient can't assist. Making sure staff is getting help is crucial. They wouldn't let me move myself from the bed I was on, onto the surgery table but it was quick and took three people to properly nest me and slide me over. (I was going in for gallbladder surgery) there were multiple people who could have assisted in the room if they needed more. So really, fighting under staffing and over working in the medical field is key.

Im not as familiar with fire fighting techniques however I know that there's an issue of businesses not having Evac Chairs or sleds for the physically disabled. I'm thinking of the brand Evac Chairs but ANY such device is useful.

Im looking at the sleds:

This goes up to 440

This one goes up to 500 carrying capacity!

These should be part of fire and rescue training and provided to the rescuers for public safety. Any business that sees a large amount of foot traffic should have these on site. (I don't expect a small mom and pop shop to have one, but Walmart should. Hospitals should.)

So basically: proper training, the right equipment and proper staff. These all play a role in how to circumvent awful situations.

Also take the consideration of what these people say "it's bad to be fat because nurses and fire fighters" these types of people are one bad turn from saying "it's bad to be in a wheelchair because it's too hard for fire rescue" or "it's bad to need nurses to turn you to prevent bed sores" they think, fundamentally, that fat people choose to be fat so we deserve less empathy. And even if it was 100% a choice for every person, it doesn't mean we don't deserve care and common sense accomedations. You can't say you respect bodily autonomy and support disability rights if your support is conditional. Only supporting "the good ones" is a policy in futility.

As an aside: check your smoke detectors and reduce fire hazards. Know your exits and keep low to the floor if there's smoke. Regardless of size people get real relaxed with fire safety because it's rare it's an issue. Some basic things is all you can do so please do them or have someone your trust to do them.

-mod squirrel

[luxaofhesperides]

greener on the other side.

Danny makes a habit out of hopping into portals and exploring the places he ends up. It just so happens that this time, he ends up in Gotham right as the Signal begins his patrol. Duke meets the strangest, funniest, cutest guy on the roof of the Gotham City Public Library. He knows Batman would not approve of literally anything he's doing, but sue him, he wants a meta friend and this guy seems to be up for it. -- OR: how Duke and Danny get together despite having secret identities and living in different dimensions.

chapter three: how it shines - 8.6k

read the entire fic on ao3!

the final chapter of this fic... and the end to the first fic in the series!! theres a lot i say in the end notes of ao3 so i highly recommend reading this chapter there! . . .

Signal: you ever feel like maybe the world is out to get you

Signal: [attached photo shows Signal lying in the middle of a torn up road, post-fight, his helmet lightly blackened with ash.]

Danny: buddy, the world has already taken me out

Danny: [attached photo is a selfie of Danny, frowning at the camera. Behind him, a large, flying robot is pointing a rocket launcher at him.]

Signal: okay, you win. are you alright???

Danny: lol im fine. this literally happens every week i know how to beat this guy up

Danny: tbh i think the real threat to my existence is school

Signal: so true. one day we will be free of it….

Danny: but not today

Signal: but not today

-

Danny: got a minute?

Signal: yeah what’s up?

Danny: u have a secret identity

Signal: …yes?

Danny: have u told other people abt ur secret identity

Signal: yes? but some of them just kinda found out on their own

Signal: why? 

Danny: how did that go. did they react well? did u have to defend urself from them?

Signal: there were some problems about me throwing myself in danger, but i was always safe with them

Danny: okay. cool. got it.

Signal: everything okay?

Danny: im thinking about telling my parents a secret about me. im kinda terrified of how they’re going to react

Signal: are you coming out to them?

Danny: in a way i guess. 

Danny: gonna recruit my sister into helping me talk to them. and also get rid of all their weapons beforehand so there’s a lower chance of them shooting me

Signal: shooting you?!?!? dude are you going to be okay??? don’t do anything that could get you hurt!!

Danny: gtg

Signal: dude??

Signal: danny?

Signal: let me know how it goes, okay? i can’t travel through dimensions like you can, but i can figure something out if you need a rescue

Signal: good luck danny!

-

Danny: ever get into a fist fight with a walmart knock off vampire in the parking lot of a burger joint?

Danny: [attached photo is Danny’s hand flipping off a man hovering in a parking lot. He’s wearing a cape and vampire-coded clothes.]

Signal: ever have a snack break in the middle of fighting a crocodile man?

Signal: [attached photo shows Signal holding up a half eaten taco, a giant crocodile man behind him with his own box of tacos. They’re sitting next to each other in an alley.]

Danny: point to u bc u actually got food

Signal: 😝

Signal: also, everything okay? with your parents?

Danny: let’s not talk about that.

Signal: okay. but if you do want to talk, i’ll be here for you

-

Danny: idk if dash is trying to annoy me into another fling or if he actually wants me to throw him across the field but if he doesn’t back off im going for violence

Signal: uh

Danny: THAT WAS MEANT FOR TUCKER IM SO SORRY

Signal: should i be jealous that someone is hoping for another fling with you lol

Danny: it was once and will never happen again. 1) he’s not my type 2) he’s so annoying

Danny: also why would u get jealous of anyone ure literally a hero? hello?

Signal: hey man that guy is with you in your dimension and im all the way over here

Signal: totally reasonable for me to get jealous!! this is like a more extreme version of having online friends

Danny: true… hey i can swing by for the weekend if u want!! honestly the less time i spend here the better

Signal: that bad?

Danny: i’ve known everyone here for my entire life. i need OUT

Danny: gothams cool! its a big city with things to do!!! obviously im gonna like it more than Normal Town Illinois 🤮

Signal: weather is bad all week tho…. even if you come over we wouldnt be able to go out

Signal: its been a while since we had a storm so bad

Danny: man if that was happening here i would be able to punch the storm away

Signal: im taking that as a joke

Danny: no i literally punched a storm away before. he was a dick tho he deserved it

Signal: ….this is still Normal Town Illinois right?

Danny: .

Danny: ok fine maybe u have a point

Danny: anyways!!! i just wanna hang out with you dude i would be happy just playing video games or something

Signal: we can do that!! let me know when u get here 😊

Signal: and good luck dealing w this dash guy!!

Danny: ugh dont remind me

-

Signal: hye u know our plana to hang out tody

Signal: maybe rain chek tht im not goos company rn

Danny: u ok? i can always come by some other weekend

Signal: got hit and everythif bad

Danny: did u hit ur head?

Signal: yes

Danny: ok im going to call u so you can stop looking at ur phone screen. just in case u have a concussion

-

The phone rings twice before Signal picks up. He mumbles something that might be a hello, but it’s honestly hard to tell. 

“Hey, man,” Danny says, leaning back in his chair to look up at the faded glow in the dark stars he stuck up on his ceiling years ago. “Are you okay?”

Signal hums a vague response, then sighs, sending static down the line. “Just got a headache right now. Can’t even go out since it’s too bright.”

“Is it sunny in Gotham right now?”

“No, it’s super cloudy and that’s still too much. I hate concussions.” There’s a bit of a whine in his voice that reminds Danny that under the helmet, Signal is a normal guy just like anyone else. And like everyone else, powers don’t save him from the pain of brain trauma. 

Danny would know; he’s gotten pretty good at taking care of injuries and the such through his high school career of getting tossed in lockers and attacked by ghosts. He’s pretty sure parts of his brain are still rattled from the amount of times he’s been thrown into and through walls. 

“I hear you, man,” Danny commiserates, “Head injuries are the worst. But it should start feeling better in a few days, so you can just stay home and relax until the pain stops.”

“Ugh, I wish. I still have to go to school tomorrow.”

“Dude, that sucks. If you can stay home sick, then don’t force yourself to go. Concussions are no joke.”

Signal hums again, then mumbles, “I can’t think of an excuse. Cause the concussion is from being hit on patrol so like. I can’t say that! I have to figure out a reason for my civilian identity to have a concussion.”

“Can I suggest something?”

“Please, I’ll take anything at this point, man. My brain is done for.”

“Make up an embarrassing story. You have to make yourself look silly and people will believe you more and not ask follow up questions because you’re too embarrassed to say more.”

“...Keep talking. This sounds viable. The only advice I got was to basically fake my death or get into a car accident to get more injured.”

“I think you need to fight whoever said that,” Danny says, “That is horrible advice.”

“I know!” Signal laughs. “Oh I shouldn’t have laughed, my head is hurting more.”

Danny lets out a slow breath, tilting his head back to look up at the ceiling of his bedroom. If he strains his hearing, he can make out the rustle of fabric from Signal’s end of the call as well as the murmur of his parent’s voices downstairs. He closes his eyes and focuses on the call, pushing away the heavy weight of regret on his chest that hits him each time he thinks about his parents. 

Now is not the time for that. Signal needs calm and quiet, so Danny is going to give that to him and then let him go to rest.

“Are you drinking enough water? Getting some comfort food?”

“Yeah, I’m being taken care of. Don’t worry Danny, I got a whole crew of dysfunctional caretakers.”

“Good. I’ll let you get back to resting, then.”

“I’m still so sorry I had to cancel. I was looking forward to seeing you again.”

Warmth rises to his cheeks and Danny rubs a hand against them, trying to ignore the butterflies in his stomach that came to life at those words.  “We can always do a different day. Let me know when you feel better, okay?”

“Yeah, alright. Thanks, Danny.”

“I hope you feel better soon, Signal. I missed you too.”

There’s a pause where Danny’s heart pounds hard against his chest, as though trying to escape his ribcage. He bites his tongue, wondering it that was too much, if he made things weird, if Signal didn’t feel the same way. 

And then Signal says with a soft voice, “I can’t wait to see you again. You’re too sweet to me.”

“Okay!” Danny squeaks, cheeks aflame, “Go sleep, Signal! I’ll talk to you once you can look at a screen again.”

“Alright. Thanks, Danny.”

“Of course, dude. Bye.”

Signal makes a soft mumble that could be ‘bye’ but it’s hard to tell with Signal’s voice going all rough and low, exhausting in every sound, and then the call is ending. 

Danny drops the phone onto his desk and draws his knees up to hold them against his chest. He rests his chin on them, filled with longing for Gotham.

Not just for the Signal, though that’s a big part of it. But for the anonymity of a big city in a dimension where he doesn’t exist. A place where he can be himself, just Danny instead of being torn between his parent’s son and Phantom. Plus, Gotham has heroes! Not other ghosts, not ghost hunters, but people with superpowers who help people whenever they can. 

It would be nice to be someplace like Gotham where he wouldn’t have to carry the responsibility of protecting an entire city on his shoulders. It would be nice to have friends who understand why he can’t not give his all to protect people, regardless of how they feel for him, friends who make the same choice, friends who aren’t weighed down by guilt with their part in his death.

As much as he loves Sam and Tucker, he knows that will be something that haunts them for the rest of their lives. 

It’s better now that it had been in freshman year, but it’s still something that changed them all. He’ll always love them, and he knows they love him, but they need to spend some time apart.

In Amity Park, they’re the outsiders who are too weird for the rest of the school, outcasts who stick together, a tightly knit group full of secrets. They’ve been each others only friends for the longest time; sometimes, others come in and out of their lives, like Valerie, but the bond he has with Sam and Tucker can’t be replicated. 

They need to be with new people to grow any more. He can see how they’re holding each other back. 

They’ll always find a way to be together, but they have to be apart first.

Gotham will be good for that. 

Hell, any place in that dimension would be good!

Danny just wants to be more than he is, wants to be better and he can’t do that here or with his friends. 

And he certainly can’t do that with his parents.

After telling them about everything’s he’s done as Phantom, all the times he’s ruined their inventions or fought with the GIW or endangered people through his fights with other ghosts, his parents just stared at him. They were seated around the kitchen table, Jazz standing behind Danny with a comforting hand on his shoulder, as his parents just… stared.

There were no accusations of possession, no weapons drawn, no demands for an explanation. Just a haunted look in his parents eyes as they went silent, still, horrified. 

“Danny,” his mom had whispered, “You mean you’re—”

“I’m Phantom, yeah. The ghost menace,” he had answered.

“You’re dead,” she finished as if he hadn’t spoken. “You died and we didn’t… we never noticed. What— How—”

The thing about being Phantom is that Danny knows he died. He knows he came back changed. But he doesn’t like thinking about it, still wakes up from nightmares of electricity racing through his body, frying him from inside out as it stops and restarts his heart in an endless painful pattern. Yes he died, but he got powers out of it! He got to meet other ghosts, explore the Infinite Realms, do so many cool things no one else is able to do…

But he still died. Half of him is still dead. He’s never going to be the kid he once was.

“It was an accident,” he had whispered, “With the portal. The on button is inside it, and when I went in for some stupid picture, I tripped and hit it.”

“And we only cared about the portal working,” his dad had said, grief coloring every line in his face. “We didn’t even look at you. We just went straight for the portal. We were so happy to be right that we didn’t stop to think about what it meant, how it could have happened…”

The tears he saw well up in his parents eyes made his heart twist uncomfortably in his chest. For several long minutes, silence settled around them as his parents closed either eyes are stared down at the table, refusing to look at him. Jazz had squeezed his shoulder, then pulled him up out of his seat.

“Danny, go upstairs. Or to Tucker’s place. I need to have my own talk with them,” she had said. There was a steel in her gaze that told Danny there was no use in arguing, so he walked out the front door and transformed so he could fly out into the woods where he could be alone, watching the sky change colors as the sun set.

It’s been two weeks since then. His parents still can’t look at him for too long. They can’t look him in the eyes at all.

He wonders if he would have preferred them trying to kill him. At least then they would acknowledge that he’s still here instead of moving around him as if he’s a memory haunting the halls of their home, one they’re too guilty to face just yet. 

He misses his dad’s loud voice and enthusiasm. He misses his mom’s quick wit and quicker reflexes. He misses the chaos of each meal they would have together and how his parents would drag him and Jazz along on random, sudden trips for the sake of science. 

He misses his parents. 

Danny hates that the family he loves died with him in that portal. 

As much as he still loves them, being in the house, and in Amity Park in general, is suffocating. The farther he can get from them the better; Danny isn’t sure he’d react well if he stayed in this universe and woke up one day with his parents decided to break into his new home because they finally feel up to having a conversation with him. 

Maybe he’d talk to Signal about what living in Gotham is like. That might help him make a decision on what to do with himself once he graduates from Casper High School.

He’ll save it for the next time they meet. 

Some things are better done in person, after all. And it wouldn’t hurt for Danny to use it as an excuse to make sure he’s fine. 

But for now, he’ll wait until the days pass and keep daydreaming about better things.

-

Signal: hey man, u doing okay? i haven’t heard from u in a while

Danny: yeah im good! i was waiting for u to text first bc i didnt know how long you’d need to recover from a concussion

Signal: ive been good for a while, dude. dw abt waiting to text me, just send me something and i’ll reply once i can!!

Danny: i’ll keep that in mind for the next time u get injured 👍

Signal: but fr are u good? tell me to back off if u need but u seem kinda down

Danny: im fine!!! just dealing w the crushing weight of existence, that’s all 🫠

Signal: oh mood. anything i can do to make things better for u?

Danny: nah it’s fine, im just like this sometimes. i promise it’ll pass

Signal: want a distraction?

Danny: please

Signal: so i was just swinging thru the streets as i do and this group called me down while theyre having a huge argument

Signal: so i go bc i dont want things escalating yknow? 

Signal: and idk the context of this argument AT ALL but one of them turns to me

Signal: looks me dead in the eyes

Signal: and says ‘penis enhancement pills are NOT a thing, right?’

Danny: SKDFJALSDJ NO WAY

Signal: oh man. this isnt even the best part of this story

Danny: there’s MORE?????

Signal: its gotham, danny, there’s always more lmao

Signal: so anyways……..

-

Danny: i hope you know that story has been haunting me all week

Danny: dash was being a dick again and i was half asleep so i told him ‘maybe u’d be less of a dick if u stop taking penis enhancing pills’

Signal: THATS GOLD

Signal: my job here is done. nothing will ever top that. i’ll see myself out ✌️

Danny: he looked so shocked lmaooo

Danny: tried to say he DOESNT take any pills but it was too late

Danny: he was too flustered by it no one believed him

Danny: top 10 things to say to ur former bully

Signal: i didnt know he bullied u. good for u! get his ass!

Danny: he’s fine now lol just annoying. we all grew out of the super cliche high school phase after freshman year when we had to work together to fend off ghosts and the government

Signal: nothing like a little anarchy to bring people together

Signal: its why im still good friends w the people who were in a gang i joined when i was younger to be like. street kid vigilantes bc gotham was going bad back then

Danny: everything u say about gotham and ur life is so fascinating literally how are u real?? ure the perfect ya novel protagonist

Signal: thats the sweetest thing anyones ever said to me ❣️

Signal: but also lol. lmao. gotham really is just like that. no one is immune

Signal: u also sound like a ya protag jsyk. 

Danny: literally how im so boring??

Signal: danny. babe. im gonna have to bring out the capital letters for this bc i get the feeling that u really believe that

Danny: oh boy

Signal: Listen. You live in a small town that’s Haunted, fight ghosts, have powers, went from being bullied to being chill with your bully, and can travel the multiverse. You are a YA Protagonist.

Danny: damn i can’t argue with that :/

Danny: why’d i have to be the ghost hunter’s ghost son. i wanna be a side character. give me a refund on this life pls

Signal: do i dare ask clarification on the ghost thing?

Danny: uuuh no? its kinda personal and im dealing w it but its also kinda like ur civilian id?

Danny: its something i’ll share once we’re closer and i know u better and can trust u with it

Signal: totally fair. want me to pretend that part of the conversation never happened?

Danny: please

Signal: cool. watch this

Signal changed Danny’s name to YA protag (real)

YA protag (real): ooooh my god

YA protag (real): im not taking this lying down

YA protag (real) changed Signal’s name to YA menace

YA protag (real) changed their name to YA protag (retired)

YA menace: lmao

YA menace: does this mean… ure my senior…. my knowledgeable mentor… my senpai 🥺

YA protag (retired): i will throw us both into a black hole dont even try me 🔪

YA menace: LMAO

YA menace: fair. just saying that dealt me so much psychological damage

YA protag (retired): deserved

-

YA protag (retired): can we attempt Danny Visits Gotham: 2! Electric Boo-galoo?

YA menace: yeah!!!! im free this weekend if u wanna come by then!!

YA protag (retired): i can do this weekend!!

YA menace: i will do my very best not to get a head injury before then

YA protag (retired): can u maybe aim for no injuries?

YA menace: danny we need to be realistic here

YA menace: my goal is to have no bleeding wounds that need stitches. as long as i don’t bleed its not a problem 👍

YA protag (retired): …..

YA menace: no need for the judgment i have everything under control

YA protag (retired): …………

YA protag (retired): :/

-

YA menace: lmk when ure gonna be in gotham! i’ll make sure to be outside waiting for u

YA protag (retired): i’ll be another hour but i’ll send a msg before i head out!!

YA protag (retired): actually it might be a bit longer i gotta fight some people who are trying to cheer me up

YA menace: should i be concerned

YA protag (retired): nah its fine they’re just annoying

YA menace: if u need to reschedule

YA protag (retired): noooo!!!! i’ll be in gotham soon i swear!!!!

YA menace: ok!! ok!!!! i will keep waiting for you then 🫡

-

Duke waits for an hour and a half, swinging through streets and waving to people, before Danny texts him to let him know that he’s next to the botanical gardens. 

One moment, Duke is perched on the roof of a Mexican restaurant in the Bowery. The next, he’s halfway across Gotham, swinging recklessly from building to building.

So what if he’s excited to see Danny again! That’s normal!

Anyone would do the same in his position.

Plus, Duke still feels so bad about having to cancel last time due to his concussion. The sooner he gets to Danny, the sooner he can start making up for it. He didn’t spend the last few patrols being extra careful for nothing; he only has a few bruise and no bleeding at all! 

Danny’s star glow helps Duke find him behind the botanical gardens, hidden away from the rest of the street. 

He drops down from the roof, using the shadows to soften the impact of landing.

When he looks at Danny, leaning against the building, he’s greeted with a bright smile. 

“Signal!” he says, pushing off the wall to close the distance between them. “I hope I didn’t make you wait too long or anything.”

“Nah, you’re good. You alright?”

“Oh, yeah, of course! It was just some friendly fighting, and they wouldn’t be able to really hurt me even if they tried. I’m all good! So, what’s the plan for today?”

Duke looks him over just in case, but Danny does appear to be perfectly fine. Not a single bruise on him. Maybe it was just a few friends roughhousing with him? That might be it, since Sam and Tucker did try to take each other out last time they were in Gotham. So he’s just going to go with what Danny says! He’s fine, and they can move on!

He’s totally going to worry about it later, but right now is not the time for it when Danny’s waiting to spend the day with him.

“Well, I still have to finish patrol, but that’s just for another hour if you wanna join me,” he says. “And then we can head to the Hatch to just… hang out. Or we can find something else to do, totally up to you.”

“The Hatch?” Danny repeats, tilting his head to the side curiously. Duke has to take a moment and just appreciate how cute Danny is before he can compose himself enough to answer.

“Yeah, it’s like my… secret base? HQ? The place I go for superhero things that is for me, specifically, and that I don’t have to share with a bunch of other people.”

“You have a secret base?! That’s so awesome! I just have—” Danny falters, his excitement falling, and then he plasters on a pained, fake smile. “I’ve always wanted to see a superhero’s HQ. Are you sure it’s fine to show it to me, though?”

Part of him wants to ask about what he was going to say before switching gears, but the drawn expression on his face is more than enough to make Duke back off. “Yeah, man, don’t even worry about it. Besides, it’s not like there’s any other places we can go to without me revealing my identity, you know?”

“Fair enough,” Danny nods. “But maybe one day we can?”

“For sure,” Duke says. “Come on, up for a quick patrol around Gotham?”

“Oh, definitely.” The light returns to Danny’s eyes as he lifts off the ground, floating. The smile on his face is more sincere, and the sight of it makes the knot of worry in Duke’s heart pull loose. He pulls his grapple out and aims for the highest ledge of Poison Ivy’s greenhouse, tucked in the back of the botanical gardens, then takes off.

Danny is flying next to him immediately, a blur of invisibility, and they fall into a rhythm quickly as they head towards the Bowery. As Duke free runs and swings between buildings, Danny flies around him, the occasional laugh slipping past his lips as he circles around Duke. 

It’s hard not to have his attention stolen by Danny, but Duke is here to protect the people of Gotham, so he focuses 90% of his attention to the streets, keeping an eye and ear out for any trouble. 

There’s not much happening today, thankfully. He’s only had to stop a few burglaries, a bank robbery, and chase off a stalker before Danny arrived. Truthfully, the peace is making him nervous; there hasn’t been a big attack to the city in a while, with no word on the movement of rogues and nothing big brewing among the gangs and mobs. Peace rarely lasts so long in Gotham, and Duke is genuinely worried the next thing will be some continent destroying, apocalypse bringing disaster. 

In the last hour of his patrol, he only has to stop a purse-snatcher and help someone move their broken down car off the street and into a parking lot. Danny stays in the air for both, invisible to everyone but him, and the blur of his aura floats around the areas Duke stops at curiously. 

They hit up touristy places last time he was in Gotham, and food trucks before that. Maybe next time Duke can get takeout from a nice restaurant and they can have a rooftop picnic. 

Not quite a date, not yet at least, but something close to it. A testing of the waters. An unspoken promise for something more.

With the hour ends, Duke comes to stop on the roof of a tattoo parlor and gestures for Danny to join him. 

The blur of invisibility fades away and Danny’s features come back into focus as he lowers himself down to the roof. 

“What’s up?” Danny asks, glancing around them curiously.

“It’s about time for patrol to end, so we can head to the Hatch now. But I do need to blindfold you so you don’t see where the Hatch is located.”

“Oh! Yeah, that’s fine. Will I just have to hold onto you or something? Since I won’t be able to see where we’re going.”

“I was thinking I’d just carry you. It’s easier that way.”

“Sure, that works!” Danny closes his eyes, cheeks already darkening with a blush. “I’ll just… let you blindfold me now?”

Duke desperately wants to smoosh Danny’s cheeks together in his hands, but valiantly resists the urge. He’s on a mission! To hang out with Danny! He can cry about how cute Danny is later!

He walks up to Danny on silent feet, circling around him. Then he lifts his hands, picturing the light solidifying in his palms, turning to fabric that darkens and obscures, bending the light to be darker and darker until it’s nearly black. He gently pulls it across Danny’s eyes, leaning in closer to him to make sure he’s not putting it on too tightly.

Danny gasps slightly when his back bumps into Duke’s chest, and Duke can’t help the way his eyes dart down to Danny’s mouth, his red cheeks, the long line of his neck. 

Focus, he tells himself sternly, and draws the ends of his makeshift blindfold back to tie the ends together behind Danny’s head. 

“There,” he says in a low voice. “All done.”

Danny doesn’t answer. He just leans back against Duke, pressing them together slightly, and Duke brings his hands down to Danny’s hips to hold his steady.

“Ready to go?”

“Ready,” Danny answers in a faint voice. “How do you want me?”

Now that’s a dangerous question to ask right then and there. Duke bites back a number of flirtatious, suggestive answers, and makes himself actually think about the best way he can carry Danny while grappling to the Hatch. He’ll need one hand free to grapple, but also needs to keep a secure grip on Danny…

He steps to the side and guides one of Danny’s arms up to wrap around his shoulders. Then he picks Danny up, leaving him to wrap his legs around his waist as he walks over to the edge of the roof and looks towards the area in Gotham where the Hatch is hidden. Duke takes a moment to adjust his arm to keep Danny secure against his chest, then takes hold of his grapple with his free hand.

“Ready?” he checks, tightening his hold on Danny’s waist.

Danny nods against his neck, tucking his face in the crook of Duke’s shoulder. “Ready!”

Duke grins and jumps off the building, shooting out his grapple as they begin to fall. Danny yelps lightly, then clings to Duke even harder, his blindfold still secure around his head. It’s become a bit fainter as Duke’s attention slipped off of it, but he focuses on it again to darken it and keep Danny from seeing where they’re going.

It occurs to him halfway to the Hatch how much trust Danny is putting in him. To put a blindfold on him. To lead him to a place he’s never been to before. To let Duke swing him across the streets of Gotham without using his own ability to fly. 

Oracle’s apprehension about Danny (and his friends) is a heavy weight on his mind, but he can’t help but think it’s unnecessary. She’d understand if she ever met Danny in person. He wears his heart on his sleeve and offers it so freely; how could Duke not trust him? 

The weeks they’ve been texting each other only make him sure that Danny’s a good person, someone he wants in his life for as long as he can stay, someone he wants to be honest with. They just click, somehow, like they’re each holding a puzzle piece that’s been missing in each other’s lives. 

I think I’ve been waiting my whole life to meet you, he wants to say. But the street entrance to the Hatch is just a block away and Danny still doesn’t know his name, so Duke bites his tongue and forces all those feelings back into more platonic territory. 

Just as the reach the building with the hidden panel to allow him entrance to the Hatch, Duke pulls at the light around them to hide them from sight as they drop down from the sky. 

“Almost in,” he says, holding Danny up with one arm as he tucks his grapple away and push the fake brick cover out of the way to punch in his twelve digit access code. 

A hidden door in the wall of the building, the back bricked off from the operating portion courtesy of Wayne Industries funding the restoration project for this area of the city after a major alien attack, opens up smoothly and without a sound. The ground slopes downward at a steep angle; he uses this door for when he’s riding his motorcycle out of the cave networks underneath the city that keep the Hatch connected to the Batcave, but it’s not too far from where the Hatch itself is. 

He carries Danny in, then makes sure the door closes completely behind him before setting Danny down on his feet. “We’ve still got a bit of a walk to the Hatch, but you can take your blindfold off now.”

“I’ll wait until we get there,” Danny says. “I’m going to use this as an excuse to cling to you for as long as I can.”

“Fair enough!” Duke laughs, “Cling away, I’ll make sure you don’t trip.”

And cling away Danny does, wrapping his arms around Duke’s left arm, holding onto it as they make their way down the tunnel. Duke keeps an eye out for anything that might trip him and carefully steers him past them. 

“Are we underground?”

“Yeah, there’s this huge cave system under the city that we use to get around,” Duke answers. “Though we’ve paved in small roads and made stable tunnels to go through, so it’s all safe.”

“Huh, that’s cool. It would be nice if I had a way to get around Amity like this.”

“Danny, you can fly.”

“That’s not relevant!”

“How is it not relevant?” Duke laughs incredulously, jostling Danny slightly. Danny turns towards him and they trip over each other slightly, clutching to each other to keep their balance.

“It just isn’t!”

They bicker lightheartedly down the tunnel until it opens up into the garage of the Hatch. Duke helps Danny up the stairs to the main area, where he keeps his suit, weapons, and the large computer Bruce installed when the Hatch was first made. Once he’s sure Danny’s comfortable, he leaves to change into his civilian clothes with only a domino mask slapped over his eyes to protect his identity.

And if Duke takes an extra minute to fix up his hair, the long locs in a disarray from being tied back and stuffed into his helmet, then that’s no one’s business but his own. 

Maybe he does need to get a hair cut. He’s starting to get why Steph wants to shave her head and rock a pixie cut like Selena. But, on the other hand, he does like how he looks with longer hair, especially when it’s tied up…

Long hair for now. It makes him look good and he’s here to impress Danny. 

When he heads back to where Danny is, he sees Danny sitting down patiently, his blindfold still on, though it’s become much more transparent than it was before. He can see how Danny’s eyes are closed beneath it, waiting for Duke to return, tapping out a slow rhythm on his knee with his fingers. 

“You can take that off now,” he says as he walks up to Danny. 

“You sure?”

“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have brought you in here.”

Danny reaches up and gently pulls the blindfold off, slowly blinking his eyes open. He watches as the blindfold dissolves in his hand, becoming light again, then shyly turns to look at Duke. 

“Oh,” he says softly, taking in Duke, who tries very hard not to fidget and reveal just how nervous he is to be out of his Signal armor before Danny. “You are so unfair?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You can’t be kind, a superhero, and attractive! Tell me something you’re bad at so I know you have some flaws.”

Duke grins, flattered. “You think I’m attractive?”

“Stop fishing for compliments!” Danny pushes him lightly, barely enough force to make him tilt to the side. “Give me something you’re bad at, come on.”

“Well, if you really need to know…” Duke takes a moment to think of something that won’t completely embarrass him. “I’m terrible at learning other languages. Vocab doesn’t stick in my head, grammar rules mean nothing to me, and my accent is atrocious.”

“That doesn’t count, that’s normal,” Danny argues.

“It the only thing I can think of right now! I’m just really bad at non-English languages!”

Danny rolls his eyes, shaking his head fondly. “I can’t believe you. You have powers, you’re cute, and you’re good at flirting. Stop winning at life so much, the rest of us stand no chance against you.”

“I promise I’m a disaster when I’m not trying to impress people.”

“Lies. You’re being perfect right now and there’s no one to impress.”

“I’m trying to impress you.”

Danny blinks. “Oh.” He bites his lip in an attempt to force down a smile. “Shut up. I don’t count. You don’t need to try to impress me, you’ve already done that.”

“Yeah? Well, maybe I’ll try to be more of a mess around you from now on.”

“Please do, I can’t be the only one making a fool of myself. Where’s the friendship? The solidarity? Suffer with me!”

Duke shoves him back playfully, and just like that, they fall back into a rhythm of easy conversation and light touches, skirting the lines of friendly with something more. Time slips away from him and Duke spends every second with Danny wishing he could have this always, that they didn’t have a time limit over their heads, that the universe itself wasn’t keeping them apart. He shows off the Hatch and some Bat gadgets, which Danny finds fascinating, then they spend an hour comparing their most commonly used powers. 

Danny has to leave all too soon, opening up a small portal of swirling green with the help of a small pocketwatch-like device, and Duke can only hope that they can do this again soon, but without the domino on his face.

One day, he swears. One day they’ll have that.

-

YA menace: hey quickly rate this guys fit

YA menace: [attached photo is a goon with a black and white striped shirt with a purple question mark safety pinned onto it. They’re also wearing neon purple sweatpants and are glaring at the camera.]

YA protag (retired): ngl thats not the worst ive seen. 6/10

YA menace: 6???

YA menace: 6?????????????

YA menace: danny i say this with all the love in my heart, go get ur eyes checked

YA protag (retired): before u say anything else. look at what i regularly have to deal with

YA protag (retired): [attached photo is a floating man with blue-ish skin an d a very dramatic hairstyle. He’s wearing a long black cloak, a white suit, and a Green Bay Packer’s football jersey on top of all that.]

YA menace: damn. no wonder ur judgement of bad fits is Like That. this guys to blame

YA protag (retired): wanna know the worst part?

YA menace: this can get worse??

YA protag (retired): thats my godfather. 

YA protag (retired): this is a man my parents thought were fit to be responsible for me and my sister if anything happens to us

YA protag (retired): THIS GUY

YA menace: u have my sincerest condolences

YA menace: oh shit more riddler guys are here i gtg they got guns

YA protag (retired): be safe!! please dont get shot!!!!

YA menace: i’ll do my best 🫡

-

YA protag (retired): came home today and all the weapons that were attached to my house disappeared

YA protag (retired): i feel like im in the twilight zone

YA protag (retired): if i start talking backwards or acting like a robot pls know it is not me but something wearing my face

YA menace: the weapons attached to ur house???? 

YA menace: im starting there but i want u to know that everything u said was concerning

YA protag (retired): have i not mentioned it before? my parents are kinda mad scientists and make a lot of weird but working things. mostly weapons to fight ghosts.

YA menace: cant believe ure only just dropping lore abt urself when we’ve been talking for so long

YA protag (retired): in my defense!!!! everyone here knows abt them so im used to not having to say anything!!!

YA protag (retired): people usually just Get It!!!

YA menace: moving on to my second point: having the weapons removed from ur house is whats concerning??? not the weapons being attached to ur house???

YA protag (retired): listen. i have spent p much my entire life with a house that doubles as an armed fortress. when i was a kid i was convinced it would come to life and protect me from monsters. this was also during my urban legends monster phrase and i scared myself reading abt them and needed the comfort

YA protag (retired): my POINT is that its normal for my house to have weapons. so seeing them gone is worrying!!!!!

YA menace: .

YA menace: ok fair enough.  last point: is being replaced by a robot version of urself a concern in ur universe? bc it is here

YA protag (retired): no its not a legit concern here

YA protag (retired): probably. dont quote me on that. i had a cloning situation a few years ago

YA menace: a hwat

YA protag (retired): dont worry about it!!!

YA protag (retired): oh my parents are home. i need to talk to them. Bye!!

YA menace: gl!! let me know if u need rescuing from evil clone robots

-

RED: before I say anything else, Signal this is the price u pay for not letting me play with interdimensional tech after you let O have a turn at it.

YA protag (retired): um.

YA protag (retired): wrong chat???

RED: no this is the right chat. Hi Danny :) 

YA protag (retired): hi???? who are u????

YA menace: oh my god

YA menace: this is NOT NECESSARY RED

RED: as I said. U did this to urself.

YA menace: 🙄🙄🙄

YA protag (retired): wait. did u… hack into this chat?? did u hack the phone????

RED: yeah lol.

RED: was a bit of a challenge but it was fun

RED: had to pull out the spare alien tech to make something that would connect

YA protag (retired): ok 1. tucker will want to marry u for ur brain

YA protag (retired): 2. ALIEN TECH?????

YA menace: i feel like we already talked abt aliens being real in my dimension

YA protag (retired): THATS DIFFERENT FROM HAVNG ALIEN TECH

YA protag (retired): hey red what do u accept as bribes

YA menace: u ask him while im right here????

YA protag (retired): u dont have the alien tech. red does. case closed.

RED: oh wow. Signal….. Wow.

YA menace: what? shut up. cant leave any of yall unsupervised i swear

RED: also, Danny I accept tech from different dimensions and also fun tasting sodas and energy drinks

YA protag (retired): done. i will have the goods ready next time i go to gotham, pls hook me up w alien teach

RED: do u just like new tech?

YA menace: hes a space nerd so he loves aliens

RED: do u just wanna meet an alien then?

YA protag (retired): CAN I??!!

RED: yeah I can pull something together for u

YA menace: omfg. Red can u go stop stealing danny from me

RED: up ur game Signal. We’re ALL going to try to steal Danny away

YA menace: how tf do i kick u out of the chat

RED: u cant 😇 im too good to be kicked

YA menace: put that halo away we all know what u really are

YA menace: 🤡

YA protag (retired): omg….. rip red ur cool reputation will be missed

RED: hey now. What happened to the bribes :( 

YA protag (retired): ur still gonna get them but i am playing favorites

YA protag (retired): and signal is obviously my fave

YA menace: knew i could count on u to have my back danny 💛

YA menace: drop ur location red i just wanna talk

RED: lol no

RED: good luck catching me :) 

YA menace: coward!!!!

YA protag (retired): there he goes…..

-

YA protag (retired): hey u know what i just realized?

YA menace: what?

YA protag (real) changed YA menace’s name to Light

YA protag (real) changed their name to Night

Night: rhyming buddies 😄

Light: i get the light bc of my powers but wheres the night coming from?

Night: bc i love space! the night sky!!

Light: ok thats pretty cute ngl

Light: give me some warning bc u do stuff like that its bad for my heart

Night: stop sweet talking me im busy feeling clever

Light: lmaooooo

Light: fair enough i’ll get back to it in 3-5 business days

Night: good 👍

Night: also is now a good time to ask abt red…. who was that….

Light: that was a nerd. dont worry abt him ok im cooler

Light: serious answer: hes red robin and hes another vigilante in gotham. we’re chill

Night: did u find his location for a throw down tho

Light: i can do u one better: i know where he lives

Night: oh???

Light: yeah his dad is my mentor of sorts so its not THAT impressive that i know

Light: i did steal all his zesti tho lol

Night: not sure what that is but im proud of u

Light: its just a drink that hes obsessed w. i love being a minor annoyance 😇

Night: shaking ur hand. its really the best thing to be

Light: hell yeah!!!

-

Light: hey got a kinda serious question for u

Night: whats up?

Light: have u thought abt ur future?

Light: like what u want to do in college, where u want to go after high school, what career u want

Night: i mean. some. 

Night: not as much as my parents want me to. 

Night: my sister goes to harvard and is super smart. im not that impressive so i keep disappointing them

Night: and with things recently… idk its hard. it kinda feels like they dont believe i have a future.

Night: not that they really see me in the present anyways

Night: sorry that was heavy. short answer is no! not really!

Light: that sounds rough. wanna talk abt it?

Night: not really but not talking hasnt done me much good

Night: my sister would want me to talk anyways. to someone trustworthy at least

Night: so if u dont mind listening…

Light: go for it!! im here for u danny

Light: emotionally at least. not physically but thats not by choice

Night: it can wait tho honestly. whyd u ask abt the future? something on ur mind?

Light: just feeling really lost rn is all.

Light: its like everyone around me has an idea of what to do with their lives while im still surprised that i made it as far as i have

Light: this is really the first time ive seriously thought abt my future and i have no idea what to do

Light: so i wanted to talk to u bc u help make things feel less terrifying

Night: signal…. ur going to make me cry

Night: u make me feel brave too

Night: ♥️

Night: i get what u mean 100% btw. u go so long sure that u dont have a future that u dont know what to do now that its here

Light: exactly.

Light: what am i supposed to do with my life? i dont want to be a hero full time, ive seen how that breaks people

Night: do u want to go to college? or do u just feel like u have to bc everyone else is?

Light: i do want to. 

Light: my parents both went and theyve always wanted me to get a degree and be successful

Light: they may not be around anymore, not really, but i do still want to make them proud

Light: they cant see me graduate, but maybe when i tell them the next time i visit, itll reach the part of them thats still alive in their minds

Light: what about u? do u want to go to college?

Night: yeah. it was always my dream to become an astronaut. work at nasa and everything

Night: no chance its ever gonna happen now tho lol

Night: dying and the health problems that comes w that will do that to ya ✌️

Light: oh man that sucks

Night: yeah

Night: i might still study aerospace engineering tho. even if i cant be an astronaut, maybe i can help others get there

Light: thats a good alternative!! im glad u still have some idea of what u can do that can help u work at nasa and achieve part of ur dream

Night: we’ll see tho

Night: im not really feeling college atm. or life in general

Night: idk i feel…. stuck. like nothing will change even if i get out of illinois. it’ll just be the same stuff at a different place

Night: and i know itll take one visit from my parents to start ruining things for me

Night: i just… dont really wanna deal w that. ive kinda given up on life tbh i might as well just focus on the ghostly side of things. stay in the ghost zone more permanently

Light: i dont wanna judge or anything but that doesnt sound healthy?? 

Light: pls dont disappear into the ghost zone. i’d miss u.

Night: sweet talker

Night: i wont. dont worry. its just a feeling i get sometimes, that it’d be better if i wasnt in this world. if i could just go somewhere else

Light: hey. what if

Light: sorry if this idea is stupid or something

Light: but what if u lived here? in my dimension? u could establish a life and go to college here. 

Light: a total fresh start

Night: thats. not a bad idea actually

Night: i would love that. wouldn’t it be hard to do tho? i dont exist there.

Light: we can make it work. its not like us gotham vigilantes are new to creating new identities/lives out of nothing

Light: i could ask for a few favors, do a few dubiously legal things. you could live here

Night: im planning to take a gap year to figure out if i wanna stay in the human world at all. i could spend that year in gotham before making my choice

Night: if u dont mind me asking this huge favor of u

Light: i dont mind at all!!

Light: danny i would love for u to be here are u kidding me. i’d do anything so we could be closer together

Night: thanks signal ♥️

Night: i made this all abt me im so sorry

Night: wanna talk more abt how ur feeling or ur plans for the future?

Light: maybe some other time. i wanna get to work on making sure u can live here for the year (and more! hopefully!)

Light: tell u what. 

Light: we can talk more abt this the next time we see each other in person ok?

Night: deal

Night: im really glad i met u

Light: me too

Light: im here for u for as long as u want me around, honey

Light: u dont need to worry about a thing with me

Night: ure too sweet.

Night: im going to go now before u make me melt into a puddle of feelings

Night: ♥️

Light: ♥️

-

“Hey Babs, I have a favor to ask…”

[jmdbjk]

All things Walmart, poo, ticks and inspiration...

Spoiler alert but to hell with it, I know y'all have watched it all already.

Things I cannot relate to and will never happen to me:

• Pushing my cart down the snack aisle at Walmart and running into Jungkook searching for Tostitos and a sponge.

• Going out to the mailbox to gather the day's junk mail and two guys on a Harley drive by and wave at me and me not know it was Jimin and Jungkook.

• Hiking through the forest and not realizing that guy way up ahead swatting at mosquitoes is Jimin.

• Enjoying my lobster mac & cheese at a restaurant and not know Jungkook is discreetly (not so discreetly) staring at my food trying to decide if he wants to order what I'm having.

I didn't have time today to spend on this like I wanted to and I feel like everyone has already talked about the finer points they're most interested in so I'm going to just drop a few things that made ME laugh, smile and cherish the fact they even started this thing, this show. Episode 3 will be here tomorrow night (for me) so I don't want to delay this anymore so I'll be brief for Ep. 2.

Saturday, July 15:

They left the campsite and Jungkook got to ride the motorcycle. Jimin said he looked like a proper American.

They stopped at a park and hiked a trail. Jimin fought mosquitoes. It was brutal. I've seen people worried about ticks. And snakes. Jimin pointed out a spider on a tree. Jungkook fantasized about alligators. Tick inspections occurred all around later on I hope.

We didn't see the transition from woods to marina. Maybe they had to make a bathroom stop for Jimin. Or urgent care to get him some meds. Who knows. Poor thing was suffering.

On the yacht, Jimin was still feeling puny but he tried. He ate though he knew he was risking it all.

He horsed around with Jungkook with the beast still rolling around in his guts.

I really wasn't expecting so much poop talk during Are You Sure but here we are.

I think this summed up the yacht trip. Especially after how it all started with the excursion being leaked by the boat captain himself. Perhaps the editors did this on purpose.

FYI those concentric ripples in the images are my camera trying to capture the screen in a different frequency than the monitor refreshes or some tech mumbo jumbo. Apologies and please ignore. It's Disney's fault for not letting us screen cap using an app.

I think Jungkook was looking for ticks. He would take something like that seriously, don't you think?

But Jimin mostly slept on the yacht. He had a rough night before. They still salvaged what they could and they still seemed to enjoy the experience.

A trip to Walmart. On the way they have one of those rambling conversations where Jungkook, who is not the most talkative type, decides to talk Jimin's ear off. They talked about making music and what drives them personally in their choices about their work.

We'll visit that thought again in a minute....

The whole Walmart visit is surreal to me. I go to Walmart at least once a week so to see Jimin and Jungkook browsing the aisles just blows my mind. NEVER did I EVER dream I'd see them looking for bacon at WALMART.

They look just like anyone else pushing their shopping cart going down the cereal aisle past the boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Sugar Pops.

Jimin was a tad testy when JK disappeared. He even cussed him out. HAHAHAHAHAAA. BEEN THERE DONE THAT!!!

I know Jimin-ssi, why are men like that? I swear to god...

I saw someone say this sums up their dynamic perfectly: Jimin calculating in his mind how to work the self-check out while Jungkook does the helicopter cam above him.

You gotta give it to Walmart though, they do know their customer. The self check out is pretty self-explanatory.

The content of their cart:

TWO boxes of Twinkies???? And both Prego AND Ragu...

Getting to the AirBnb accommodations. Cooking. Chilling out before bedtime and Jimin lets Jungkook hear Who.

Horsing around in bed. You know, all these years, I've wondered how they keep the toothpaste spit inside their mouths while brushing their teeth? We've seen them brushing their teeth backstage, in the bathroom, walking around the green room, outside practicing choreo... HOW DO THEY NOT DROOL ALL OVER THEIR CUSTOM MADE OUTFITS? And now wrestling on the bed...

Waking up, JK and his frosted flakes. Jokes about abandoning Jimin...more horsing around on the bed. And then they doze off again. I know they did. Hard to tell but Jungkook is glued to Jimin's back.

Jimin gets to ride on the back of the Harley with JK. It starts to rain. I guess they were bringing it back to the rental place.

Going back to the store for a sponge.

I think Jimin was feeling much better. Looked like he slept better.

We see the Army who said they met Jimin and Jungkook last year. When I first heard about it I thought how lucky and random and what kind of stars need to align for that to happen??? What a great experience!!! When will it be our turn???

And then the next idea for Run BTS (the show)... hide and seek while shopping for specific ingredients to cook with and the twist is they're in a foreign country. WORLD TOUR RUN BTS!!! BIGHIT I HAVE IDEAS!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!

Its raining, dancing in the rain as they exit the store. They leave in the Jeep and head back to the house to eat their pizza.

Army in Connecticut won in life.

Then they start their journey back to NYC (I'm assuming) so Jungkook can go on to London and Jimin can head back to Korea. They stop one more time for lobster rolls and lobster mac & cheese.

That's when we see Jungkook contradict himself...

In the Jeep just a little while ago you said nothing inspired you. Was it the rain or the beer that was inspiring you? Or was it the head full of new memories and ideas about the next trip that were swirling around in there?

By the end of this trip, they are back in sync.

Their closing interview: JK wants to keep doing this until they're 50, 12 more seasons! JK said "practice being better variety show entertainers so the two of us can continue doing this" as motivation to continue doing this type of thing way into the future. Jimin found humor in that. And that's where we fade to black.

And during the credits, Jimin is eating again, spicy ramen, possibly the next day. Apparently his stomach is back in order as he readies to fly back home.

What a trip.

Deeper thoughts:

Jimin and Jungkook wanted to spend time together. We knew that. It didn't seem to happen when it could have. They even said so in the Jeep. But JK concluded the discussion succinctly:

Finally.

Finally they were spending quality time together. Though their talk was brief, we have no idea if there was more to it before or after what we saw of it. The editors showed us that much enough to explain the situation and why it had not happened. The end result of it all was: finally.

Finally, after wanting this. Finally, after saying we would. Finally... doing something together that we loved doing before and we've wanted to do again. Finally.

Jimin pushed for it. He knew. He made it happen. Finally.

They are two distinct personalities and their journeys through this solo era leading up to their enlistment were different.

Jimin is a leader and doer. He is the initiator. Jimin said if he hadn't pushed for this show to happen it would not have gotten done.

There were a few moments in these first two episodes where Jimin brought up MS. Jungkook didn't seem thrilled to talk about it.

They truly didn't know what they were going to film for this show. They got in the car and started to make it up as they went. I can see how that would be awkward.

They don't understand that just them being themselves is what we want to see. They don't have to try to make something happen. Its the spontaneous moments that make the best content (see kayak dump and Walmart trip). Maybe Jimin was more in tune with this than Jungkook was but he is the one who turns on a live and sits there and watches Netflix while eating chicken. They had to get back in sync and they did.

So the first episode was a little slow, a little cautious, a little quiet. Reserved. That first day they were finding their groove, getting 're-acquainted' if you will, finding the slots and spaces in each other that fit and feel the most comfortable to them. You could see them relax as the day wore on.

But, they still had challenges. JK's head cold. Jimin's stomach bug. You want some TMI's? Watch Jimin run to the bathroom for the fifth time.

We may see a little bit of this quiet re-acquainting when BTS does its first group live next year. And yes, I am 100% confident we will see this first live shortly after Jimin and Jungkook are discharged. We will see them in a way we've never seen before.

After both episodes... my conclusion is we saw about 2 hours out of the roughly 3 or three and a half days Jimin and Jungkook were together. Thursday evening, July 13 through Sunday evening, July 16. I'm not exactly sure when JK left for London but Jimin went back to Korea on July 17.

I wonder if the plan was to create hour long episodes or if there was so much they wanted to show the episodes just ended up being that long. They could have easily hidden Jimin's stomach issues from us. They could have edited a lot of it down. But in making the episodes this long, they showed more and more of their dynamic in play.

I didn't put everything into this post that I wanted to but we've got six more episodes coming and I still haven't had time to watch Run Jin.

Hashtags arent working... I'll add them later.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Random characters with a reader who plays Five Nights at Freddy's

Characters included: Allison Reynolds, Phoebe Buffay, Remy "Thirteen" Hadley, Gomez! Master/Missy

Warnings: gender neutral reader, multiple mentions of the survival horror game Five Nights at Freddy (no spoilers for any of the games though)

A/N: I was finally able to get the fnaf core collection from Walmart that I've been eyeing for like a year and while I've temporarily put aside my Nintendo switch so I won't keep getting the shit scared out of me I decided to write something with some of my favorite characters because a) I want to and b) I can. Is this a niche concept? Yes, but so are all the characters I've chosen for this (and I've only just realized they're all women but I refuse to apologize for it)

Allison Reynolds

She already knew about the game before you told her. In a modern au (which is what this is) she's definitely the weird kid that's obsessed with fnaf, nightcore, creepypasta, etc.

Owns all of the games, including several books and plushies. You're not sure whether they were gifts or if she bought them herself (or if she stole them)

Loves to watch you play, always letting out a small shriek followed by excited giggles whenever you get jumpscared. She's incredibly good, often winning even the most difficult nights on the first try

Watches lore videos and gameplays on YouTube with you while snuggled up in her bed (Matpat and Markiplier are obviously her favorites)

If she knows you have a favorite character she'll go out of her way to get something with them for you. Her favorite character is Marionette/The Puppet

Phoebe Buffay

She saw some of your fnaf stuff and innocently asked what it was from, not knowing your cute little plushies had such a dark backstory

It scares the hell out of her at first, but in a good way. She likes watching you play while cheering you on from the sidelines, occasionally asking questions or swearing at one of the characters when they jumpscare you

Eventually she ends up trying it out for herself, doing surprisingly good from all the times she watched you. Until she ran out of power, that is, and was immediately killed

Probably ends up writing a song about it and singing it at the coffee shop, much to everyone's dismay

"There was once a purple guy who watched children die, they were stuffed in a metal suit and no one knows why-"

Also her favorites are Bonnie and Monty Gator because they play the guitar like her and she automatically thinks they're really cool just because of that

Remy "Thirteen" Hadley

Another ex weird kid who played the games for sure. She's also a champ at them, and will usually give you pointers whenever she watches you play

The type to have serious discussions with you over the lore at any time or place, regardless of whether it's the right environment or not. One time you were talking about it at the hospital during lunch and Kutner overheard. Poor guy was traumatized

Her favorites are Circus Baby and Michael Afton because of how much she strangely relates to them. Springtrap is her worst enemy and she will make it known at any possible time she can bring it up. She hates him so much that whenever she plays the third game it's just her swearing at him the entire time

She also hates Balloon Boy (who doesn't) but it's less of a visceral hatred and more of a "Oh great, this guy again"

Like I said before, she's a champ at them BUT she's also incredibly competitive and will rage quit if she loses more than two times in a row

Gomez! Master/Missy

"Humans are so cute, aren't they? Actively seeking out things that scare them, then acting surprised when they get frightened" <- her exact words when she saw you playing the game for the first time and after you explained it to her

In all honesty, while she does find it cute in a slightly condescending way, she feels like that for pretty much anything humans are interested in, so I wouldn't take it personally

The lore both fascinates and delights her, and she could spend hours listening to you explain it. In fact, I'd go so far as to say she likes that more than the actual games themself

That's not to say that she doesn't enjoy watching you play, because she does. Something about the adrenaline rush and the need to last until six o'clock followed by getting jumpscared out of nowhere is thrilling to her. She might even ask to play herself if she's in a good enough mood, though she will throw a small tantrum if she loses just an FYI

Ballora is her favorite- why? I think it's because of how eery she is. Like, she's somewhat of a mother figure, but there's something off about her. Also it's just the vibes man idk

End notes: sorry for this random fnaf centric post, I just love it so much and needed to integrate it in with my writing

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated | requests are currently open

Main masterlist | The Breakfast Club masterlist | Friends masterlist | House MD masterlist | Doctor Who masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?

🏷 taglist: @missmewts @ghot-girl @your-next-daydream @alexxavicry @noisy-dumb-piece-of-shit @lovelyy-moonlight @theonetruepotato87 @sessa23 @super-just-because

[aliregression]

Little!Chris and little!Nate in the grocery store and they end up wandering off together and getting lost

Lost and Alone

Ship: Little!Chris X Little!Nate X Fem!Reader (platonic or romantic doesn’t matter to me!)

Summary: Chris and Nate got lost at the story and are scared

Warning: Lost and alone! Some tears! Happy ending!

A/N: We are just going to say reader and Nate live in L.A with the triplets!

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

The house fridge and cabinets where empty with nothing but soda and seasoning. So you decided to go grocery shopping, although your littes are clingy and in headspace, so you decided to bring them along. After all what is the worst that can happen?

You had went to school with the triplets and Nate, which is how you met them and became best friends with them. Soon after you found out about Chris and Nate regression and became their caregivers.

You love your babies! They are so precious to you and without them your live seems so dull. So when the triplets decide to move to L.A you and Nate had to go as well.

Being the only girl in a house full of boys is a lot, and, well, they aren’t the best cooks either. So you cook while the boys do the cleaning. Which leave you to grocery shop as well because the boys never know what to buy.

You were currently looking at the frozen foods, knowing your littles love frozen food. You had the grocey list in one hand and making sure you had everything.

The boys where bored and saw ice cream in the aisle over so they didn’t see the problem with just looking at the ice cream, to try and convince you they need ever flavor their is.

But when they came back to the frozen foods you where no where to be found. Chris and Nate got scared and sat down on the floor and started crying.

“Mama! I want Mama!” cried Chris hoping you appear out of thin air, which you didn’t. Nate being a year (in headspace) older then Chris stood up and whiped his tears. “We have to go find her Chris” Nate said and grabbed Chris hand pulling him up.

Off they went running (which they know is a no but had to find you) around the store. But it felt like walmart was bigger then they thought. They knew you where with the food. You strictly said food only.

After realizing your babies weren’t following you after heading to checkout you speed over to the groceries section looking for them. You went through every aisle of the section not finding them. You knew they left their phones with you because they never use them in headspace.

The boys were having bad luck finding you as well. It felt like you where never going to come get them so they started crying sobbing and calling for you, hoping you appear.

You were in the aisle next to your boys, you heard their sobs and ran to the aisle they where in. You saw them and picked them up, not caring for the looks you where getting. You were just glad they were safe.

“Mama! Mama!” Nate cheered whipping his tears away. “Im so sorry sweethearts I didn’t realize you two where gone and I should have realized sooner.” You said and placed them back on the ground holding their hands.

“We shwuldn’t hwve rwn away” Chris said feeling smaller now after the scare they had. “We just wanted to see the ice cream Mama- we are sorry” Nate said giving you a pout. “Its okay now sweethearts, just don’t do it again” you said to them and they nodded agreeing

You looked around the aisle your in realizing your in the ice cream aisle, you chuckled to yourself and let your boys each pick out two different types of ice cream they want. After all they deserve it.

You hold their hands and they push the buggy to the check out. They almost ran into someone, and you apologized but let them push the shopping cart anyways. Once yall checked out and got into the car you made a promise to yourself to let Matt or Nick deal with the shopping now.

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

If this is bad its not proof read im sorry :,)

[niennanir]

It is Two Days to Christmas and I am in Walmart.

I hate Walmart. I'm not getting into cultural or economic ground here, it's an actual physical problem for me to be in a Walmart. I'm not just hyper observant, I'm hyper perceptive and Walmart assails the senses in a way that borders on the debilitating. The is too much stuff, piled to the ceilings on rows that are engineered in a way that cuts off sight lines, there are too many colors, too many people, and the smells, they're overwhelming and conflicting. The lights are too bright. The lights are too loud. The HVAC and the coolers in frozen foods are also too loud and I can hear all of them in dissonance.

I will avoid Walmart if I can. The longest I've managed to stay out is four years. My schedule used to take me to parts of town where I had more options but my schedule changed this year and now the easiest option is to go the four miles to Walmart rather than the fifteen to somewhere less offensive to my own personal brand of crazy.

It is too days to Christmas and Walmart is three times worse than it is any other time of the year.

I only need a half a dozen things and I zip from aisle to aisle as fast as I can, skirting around shoppers who look dazed beneath the yellow green glow of the humming florescent lights. I slither past a man trying to figure out where he left his wife and rapidly start scanning at the nearest self checkout. I can feel my anxiety ramping up but it's fine, I can get out of here in a few minutes, out into the fresh air and the warm Florida sun. It's fine.

I reach into my bag for my phone, my hand closes around it as I remember that I can't use my phone at Walmart. I use Apple Pay for nearly all my groceries. The less I fumble with my wallet in a crowded store the better. But I can't use it here. I let go of my phone and dig down for my wallet.

My wallet isn't there.

I open my bag wider and stare into its depths. There is an iPhone, a tiny drawing pad with a stub of a pencil. A grape chapstick. My car keys. My sunglasses. And no wallet.

I jiggle my bag ineffectually, hoping for a Christmas miracle that will summon my wallet from the back pocket of my favorite pair of jeans. My favorite pair of jeans is hanging on the back of the bathroom door. I wore them last night to look at lights, and I put my wallet in my back pocket after I bought hot chocolate.

I could walk out of course. I want to. But there are so many people in line waiting, trying to get home to their other tasks. I flag down the nearest self checkout monitor.

"You're going to have to clear my transaction." I say "I left my wallet at home"

"Oh dear, are you sure?" she replies. "I can save the transaction and you can go get your wallet and come back, then at least you won't have to collect everything again."

"It's eight miles there and back in heavy traffic," I say with a sigh. "It would take a miracle to get back here before the frozen vegetables thawed."

"Ma'am, did you forget your wallet?"

I turn at the sound of the man's voice. He's a little older than me, an everyman type. Polo shirt shorts and docks, the standard Florida grocery shopping uniform.

"I did," I say with a sigh.

"I do that all the time," he said sympathetically. I'm about to reply that unfortunately that doesn't make me feel better.

"Would you let me buy your groceries for you?"

I freeze.

It's rare that I don't know what to say. I always have a quip or a comeback. But in that moment all I can think of is the eight mile drive, the whine of the lottery ticket machine the way the fourth florescent light from my left is flickering, the fact that I should have been back to work ten minutes ago.

It's only $35 dollars. I have $35. What I don't have is another trip to Walmart in me today.

"Hey!" the self checkout monitor says cheerfully. "You got your Christmas miracle from Santa!"

"Thank you," I say to the man. I can feel my throat closing up as he reaches over and runs his card.

"I do this all the time," he says, shaking his head. "This is the only place I can't use my phone."

"That's how I got in trouble," I admit.

He nods, knowingly. "You have a Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas to you too!"

By the time I've gathered my bags he's disappeared in the crowd.

I couldn't pick him out of a lineup right now if my life depended on it. I notice everything, but he was so unassuming there wasn't a lot to notice. Just a guy, in Walmart, two days to Christmas.

Making the world a little better $35 at a time.

[pennysperfectpolls]

Penny Poll round 1 match 1

Penny Lamb/Jane doe (Ride the cyclone/legoland)

Penny Luckstone (Dimension 20)

Propaganda under the cut

Penny Lamb/ Jane Doe (Ride the cyclone/legoland) Propaganda

girlfailure to end all girlfailures. shes Not Like Other Girls and also literally built different (survives decapitation). she sells drugs and horribly maims a pop star and gets away w it. probably a lesbian but if you call her that she will bite you. love her.

———

Penny Lamb is very joyous and whimsical!!! There's a BUNCH of different interpretations of her in the fandom, and they're all so unique... Also she faked seizures in Walmart with her canonically neurodivergent brother VOTE PENNY LAMB!!!

——

PENNY IS SOOOOOSILY AND I LOVE HER AND I LOVE JANE BUT HSHSHSHSHS VOTE PENNY LAMB!!!

——

she doesn't have a head anymore. died in a rollercoaster accident and came back to life because she was chosen by one of her classmates as being the most worthy to live. something clearly wrong with her

——

SHE IS SO INCREDIBLY SILLY???????????? WE LOVE AND CHERISH HER IN THIS HOSUE OKAY

——

This propaganda is only for her appearance in Ride The Cyclone musical but if someone else wants to submit lore from Legoland (which is the sort of prequel to Ride The Cyclone) please do so! Penny Lamb is hidden name of the girl who was beheaded in the St. Cassian Choir Cyclone Roller Coaster Incident. Because she lost her head, she had no memories of her name or family, so she assumed the name Jane Doe and uses a doll's head as a replacement for her own decapitated head. She sings The Ballad of Jane Doe which is so sad and haunting that she is chosen to come back to life as Penny Lamb. Super cool concept for a character and very neat song!

——

She's pretty neat 👍 also her design is cool

Penny Luckstone (Dimension 20) Propaganda

Imagine a perky type a sweet girl whom is the oldest of a mountain of siblings and just takes care of people on reflex and is overall just the nicest girl in the world.

Now imagine she's the deadliest member of her fantasy adventuring party. As a halfling rogue one would think she'd fall into a stereotype easily, but Penny spends most of her time on screen trying to pick between her career as a rogue and her place with her friends and family.

She didn't like that the rogues guild was going to make her choose between he friends/family and her career so she ousted them to the world so they had no choice but to let everyone get in contact with their families again, she also convinced a guy to give her a foot rub and then did the do with him within the same day what a legend

[kissgumamela]

THE INTERVIEW — EPISODE 001 of 'UNTITLED BURGER SHOP AU'

[ ellie williams x reader ! oc ]

ᡣ𐭩 .ᐟ thanks to joel, ellie finds herself as the manager of Miller's Grill. five months in, ellie sorta has the hang of it. basically tlou ii modern au where ellie, dina, jesse, and abby work at a burger shop (chaos ensues). heavily inspired by the series minimun wage by american high !

ep 001 — ellie's tasked with interviewing a new hire to work as the kitchen assistant.

a/n ughhh this is so fun to write. don't ask about any lore and plot holes because i will not be thinking about world building that much cuz im writing this purely for my own amusement LOL

EP 002

"so, uhm..." ellie looks through her notebook, looking at some of the questions she wrote down last minute, realizing they're all... shit. she had used chatgpt to help her write some questions because she forgot to prepare before hand. she picks the most sensical one out of all the options. "have you worked in food service before?"

liv shuffles in her seat, "well, uhm... no, not quite—"

"i-it's fine if you haven't, i mean, i still don't know how our toaster works." ellie chimes in, seeing that she was a bit nervous. it was also ellie's subtle to be funny, but it just left her a little confused. "nevermind, continue, sorry..." she mumbles, looking down at the notebook again.

liv nods, "yeah, no, i haven't worked in these kinds of establishments before — but, but i promise i'm a quick learner!"

ellie starts to think on the spot for more questions, her notes not helping a bit. "say that uhm... a customer's yelling or whatever, what'll you do in that situation?" she says, hoping that it makes sense enough.

"smile until they stop?"

"huh. terrifying." ellie huffs, "you'll fit in." she says jokingly, before moving on. "why do you wanna work here?"

"... so i can have money for walmart?" liv says truthfully. when ellie looks at her for a moment, trying to process that, liv realizes that that maybe wasn't the answer ellie's looking for. "uhm... to.. for the love of service...?"

"... yeah, good enough for me." ellie shrugs, "do you have any references?"

liv thinks, not really having anything prepared because she didn't really know what it meant. "no, i like to form my own opinions rather than use references..."

ellie's brows furrow, "w-what? oh, oh no... i mean like... people you used to know that can vouch for you?" she tries to clarify, realizing the misunderstanding.

liv makes a hiss sound, "uhm, i dunno. i don't think my ex would say good things about me-"

"no, i mean like... bosses. co-workers." ellie clarifies once again.

"she did managed a vape shop..."

ellie nods, giving up. "i'll just put 'good' under references."

ellie closes her notebook that was of minimal use and looks up at liv. "well, that's pretty much it for me... i guess — if you have any questions, you can let me know."

liv's eyes widen, "did i... did i get the job?"

"uh, yeah!" ellie nods, "just... just don't tell abby it was that easy."

liv, in no way thought that the interview was easy. "oh-wait who's abby?"

"the assistant manager, mostly head chef though. she's kind of like the scary team mom."

"oh... okay." liv smiles, looking around at the place she's going to be working in. "seems like a great team you got going on!"

ellie chuckles, "yeah, we're like a family here. but like, the type of family to forget your birthday and try to put something shitty together last minute. and it ends up with someone breaking a bone at the end of the day."

[stitchwraith-stingers]

I would like to hear a FOP (or ANW) headcanon for any of your favorite female characters. Smiles

I WAS ABOUT TO GO TO BED.................. HNGHGNGGHNGHNGHNG UNLEASHES A PACK OF DOGS ON YOU (LOVENGLY)

trixie tang

her family is kinda confusing??? shes adopted, but then her father remarried so her step brothers are chad n tad but then he got divorced AGAIN and kept the twins custody

her father also implanted the idea of "everyone should give you attention because umm money i guess" whomp whomp

i imagine if she got out of her shell more and was like, ur typical kid shed be kinda snarky n cheeky.... elbowing u and jokenly insulting you type of deal

the zone outer... shes just like me where after 20 min of class shed just spontaiously start to not pay attention and forget... idk how to explain it like when everything just feels so light that thing

by the time middle school rolled around she started to slightly blend in more w the crowd cuz no one rlly cared much for the idea of popular kids that much, started to rebel against her father while doing that (intentionally picking less fashionable clothing when going outside by herself etc)

she still likes fashion though, its just a VERY minor interest

probably has a obscure webcomic with a patreon chloe carmicheal

she gives me horse girl vibes, if you show her mlp she will completely loose her shit

the lonley-er....... ppl found her kinda werid cuz of the fact she stayed at the top of her classes and so they just kinda speak to her weridly (<- projecting cuz this is somewhat happening to me idk whats their problem either)

has a horrible habit of impulse buying random nicknacks if let loose cuz she hasnt rlly thought about it

probably becomes rlly close friends w kevin!!!!! aj and chester look at her from afar like small ktitens being introducted to a whole home and looking all puffed up, sanjay and elmer are indifferent lmao

im going to be so honest chef she is probably going down a rlly happy jolly girl -> completely deranged and lost it if shes still staying w her helicopter parents

chronic liar for useless information, she can already do anything (litterly) so its like, why not, but also because if she shows she fucked up its like the world is ending next tuesday

probably watches a bunch of random movies

hazel wells

slaps roof of car this kid could hold so much anxiety and stress inside her

she has SLEEP PROBLEMS!!!! and probably has alot of nightmares... TERRIFYING!!!!

she just happens to know how to play the drums

she HATES strong smells, and is extremely sensitive to onion

hates eye contact..... dont stare at her like that

her main stim is rocking back and fourth, she could be doing is mindlessly in class and the kid in the back would constantly tell her to stop doing that, shes trying to stop doing it buttt its not working out too well for her

she also really likes those tangle stim toys....

i went more indepth abt her autistic traits here

the crane wives liker

therian!!!!!!! jackalope!!!!!!!!!

transgirl, her fathers a transman... twinning

idk where to put this but arospec lesbian cuz im also one yay

she can barely cook on her own, like yeah fries and noodles are just fine but pancakes and bacon are notttt going to go well

she has the most bizzare turn of hyperfixations, and its mostly of things ppl dont tihnk about, like one day she could wake up and go "hm yknow i saw a really cool chair the other day at walmart" and completely spiral

she NEEDS to let her emotions out!!!!! she bottles them up like she could be so pissed at someone and still just smile at them and go yep bye untill a certain point, she should punch a wall and scream i think, i would let her

she lived next to a mine back in the day and antony just showed her around n it all went downhill from there

yk the way ppl would bully autistic kids before they knew it like they went in such a specific way, that thing happened to her so she didnt really have friends, she and jasmine just clicked and were like "huh werid that never happened before" neurodivergent to neurodivergent communication

jasmine tran

i have a whole post for this thing so

INATTENTIVE ADHD!!!!! UNDIAGNOSED!!!!!!!EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION AND REJECTION SENSITIVE DYSPHORIA AND ATTENTION SPAN HELL

i also have the same thing going on so ik this is ooc but shes always slightly insecure abt showing what she likes, but she still does it anyway so its like an oxymoron...... if that makes sense

she also has just rlly bad memory in general, like the planets of the solar system, dont get her started on math

stays up wayy late at night so occasonally you will see her sleep in class

LOVES EYECONTACT!!!!!!!!!! SHE CANT SMILE WELL BUT SHE WILL DO IT ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT IF U TELL HER SHES SCARY SHE IS GOING TO HIDE IN HER ROOM FOR THE NEXT 6 DAYS

grew up with a family who loved to playfully make fun of eachother often but she just couldnt tell

was THIS close to being assigned a fairy untill fearless which was like the catalyst on why shed have one and then they dropped her case, however life can be dream and i still gave her one anyway

BITER! BITER! BITER! so much chewlery, and shes so used to this that when her grandma packed her lunches with metal cutlery instead she STILL has bitten the handle expencting it to be wooden but ends up shocking her teeth in the end, she also does it out of stress but thats not as common anymore

also has pica but i already made an indepth post abt it replying to you so

popular on pinterest, makes moodboard requests on tumblr

xenofiction liker, rip jasmine u wouldve loved selling neon wolf adopts for 10 points on deviantart

on that note, i know damn well she'd have the warrior cats art style, thats her one thing like the moment winn recognised the characters she turned tothem with a stone sfx you know the one, her fave characters r sorreltail n mothwing btw if u even care, she has secrelty made every kid at school she knows a character based off them in a story shes brainstorming

angela wells

had a godparent read my lore boy

had SUCH a hard time with depression and anxiety during her early kid years, she was such a wreck, and got better as she got into teenhood dw (unless you count the time she got postpartum depression)

also had codependancy problems regarding godparent mentioned above, hazel gets those from her whoops

is def ace but it hasnt rlly set in for her yet yk, like she knows abt how different she feels but shes just like meh whatever . shes 45

didnt have a bad relationship w her family, just didnt like to share her feelings w her family, which is what shes trying to not do

i think this was specified in canon? but she does notttt really know how kids work psychologically speaking... she read psychology books for older people when she was strating to recover slowly and bc she was like 13 she was like wow im so mature with how im handling this and might be accidently handling hazel the same treatment, but also bc she didnt rlly go in the field of specifically childrens psychology, she doesnt do it out of malicious intent it could just probably backfire on you in 5 years if that makes sense

probably also autistic . looks away

[tsunderejuilen]

write juilen falling in love w9th me because i wore an anime t shirt and then he dumps me because i stopp wearing it

Tnaah ks ano n! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Thanks anon!

~~Tsnudere Juilen x Rreader)~

You walk to in school, ready for a new day. You put your bookmarks and backpack in your locker. When you shut it, you see none other than... Juilen?!

"H-hey.... " Juilen said, looking off to the side bashfully.

"Hey... Juilen? What's up?" You replied, shocked a tsundere such as himself approahed you.

"Nothing loser! I mean cool shirt. I guess. Haha." His tail was wagging a little behind him, but he looked like he was trying to hide it.

You look down at your shirt, you are wearing a really cool Sasuke shirt and it has Sasuke on it. "You like Naruto?"

"U-uh!! I mean... it's OKAY I guess, loser. Loser. Not a big fan or anything, it's pretty stupid that you're wearing it... but..." he stopped for a moment. "...But it's okay. the shirt isnt as bad as usual."

"Thanks..? Do you need something from me?" You were cnfused.

"What?! Want something from you?!? I-I mean.. just... lets hang out on the balcony after class.. that's all.... i dont wanna hang out too mcuh with a loser like you". He was blushing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~`~~~

After class, you head up to the school bacony. You wondered what he wanted. For a while you just sat there, wondering where he even was. You wereabout to go back down, but he was actually hiding behind the trashcan the whole itme

"Hey.. baka. Just... just uh... i was wondering... if.." Juilen was looking off to the side again, clearly nervous about something. "I-if you wanted my number!!! Hahaha, you looked so pathetic that I felt bad for you!" He gave you his number and jumped off, but its okay because he actually has powers in this au where he cant die from fall damage.

You were so bewildered you couldn't even respond after you took the paper he gave to you. You looked at it. It looked very crumbled and as if a small nibble had been taken out of it. In scratchy letters was his number, and around the nibble was what looked to be very rushed writing of "HEY DUNCAn STOP EATING THE PA".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you got home, you sat down and called the number. It took so long it was sent to voicemail, so you sent one asking why he wanted your number and if something was up. After a strange day, you go to sleep, but then a thunderstorm starts and you thought you seed a strange figure illuminated by the lightning strikes. You treed to ignore it, but you kept seeing it, until you got up and turned on the light. Then you saw it... no... him.

"Juilen?! What are you doing here?! How did you get in my house?!" You shrieked.

"N-no reason! Baka! I-I was just wondering.. if.. you wanted to watch Naruto on Blu-ray." He pulled out the entire DVD collection of Naruto from one pocket, and an entire Walmart Blu-ray DVD player from the other.

"What time is it?!" You responded, confused.

"F-fine!!! If you didn't want to you could've just SAID so!!!" He growled and turned around, about to leave.. but then... but then for a moment, just for a moment, you saw him differently.

"No! Wiat! I'll watch with you!"

He immediately turned back around, he was about toshow his happiness but he instantly went back to his default bashful expression.

You both watched the entirety of the Zabuza arc and then fell asleep, with Juilen on the cold hard grund of course.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up the next morning, Juilen was already gone along with his DVD collection and Blu-ray. So, you got ready for school normally, but when you showed up....

"What... what the hell are you wearing?!" Juilen hissed.

You looked down at your shirt. It was not a Sasuke shirt, or any type of anime shirt for that matter.

"What do you mean?" You tilted your head.

"I... I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!!! YOU BETRAYED ME!!!!" He started pummeling you wtih his fists until you became a cold hard mush on the ground.

"I THOUGHT... I THOGUHT YOU LIKED ANIME... I THOUGHT.. I THOGUHT YOU... UNDERSTOOD... ME..." He shouted while punching you to death, crying and breaking down.

You could not respond because you were a cold hard mush on the ground.

[fan-art-ic]

Not making a reddit account to post in one sub, but I wish I could post in the r/UnfuckYourHabitat just a couple times I feel like i can't get my life together. But since this is my blog I am going to ramble below so if I see a notification of you liking this post just imagine a cat nuzzling your legs and that's me

I hate throwing away anything that's not trash. Additionally, I know a lot of donated items still end up in landfills. Landfills that are so overfilled, so piled high, exported internationally we have so much waste I just can't justify throwing out an electric blanket that no longer works because it's still a blanket, but I don't use it so it's folded up on a table in my room and has been for months. On the same table are a pair of hunting camo pants my sisters handed down to me and I really love. The fabric has completely given out in the crotch (from all my gay sitting). She just bought them at Walmart and it'd be easy to throw them out and go buy another pair, but it feels so wasteful to spend the money when I could repair the ones I have.

However, the thing, and this is crucial, is that I don't want to be alive, so I find an incredibly hard time doing things that would make my life better/easier/more enjoyable. So, essentially, I'm not going to repair the pants, but I don't throw them out because I feel like i cannot give up on the hope that one day i will fix the pants.

Also ln the table is a weird mask that my aunts collectively bought for me as a birthday gift from a curio shop. I've never liked it despite feeling like I want to like it and should, and so I kept it as wall decoration until the strap broke. I could always fix it and make it wall art again, or use it as a found object in an art sculpture, because I don't want to throw it out especially now that one of those aunts is dead, but it just sits collecting dust on a 30 inch tall side table that's in the middle of my room and I constantly have to dodge it every time I go to bed.

And my bed, as we speak, has no sheets on it, so I'm using a quilt underneath me. I ran out of clean pillow cases so I'm using a clean shirt laid on top. There is laundry and half the time I wake up soaked in sweat so I'm sure my bed is actually dirty somehow. So a few weeks ago I slept in my sisters room since she's away right now. But then, I messed up her room too.

Shirts, trash, a broken heating pad, seven+ empty wine & spirit bottles, dirty beach towels, and so much dog hair cover the floor and I feel so aggravated that filth seems to follow me in my wake. I try really hard to clean up after myself in the rest of the house to avoid burdening my family, but i feel incapable of forcing myself to clean my room. And the VERY few times (hand to God i probably clean my room less than 10x a year) I manage to get it spotless, it completely disintegrates behind my back within a week. Looking at my room and realizing it's a disaster again after such little time and after so much time/effort/pain went into getting it straightened up, it completely discourages me and makes me wonder why do I even bother?

And of course I bother because I feel better, my eczema does better, I'm more at peace in a clean environment, but I use most of my energy every day restraining myself from suicide that I simply cannot muster the spoons to clean my habitat.

It is also why I can't ever seem to get around to mending my clothes, or pursuing my hobbies, or finding the will power to take control of my life. Because, in a way, I have such a tight, choking leash on my self, it honestly feels like I'm holding back a dog trying to lunge off a cliff with all it's might and it's taking everything within me to not let go so I can't really be bothered with all that "life maintence" and "being an adult" type shit, even though i still despesperately try to maintain and cling to the illusion, possibly delusion, that i am a capable functional dependable reliable adult who is merely going through a slow patch, unable to ask for help because I can't even begin to imagine my family taking the steps that they would actually have to take to help me when I cant even think about cleaning my room 10 minutes everyday without imagining a metal rod spiking through my head and creating a great bloody hole in my skull. So!

So my room doesn't get cleaned, and I barely move around, and I eat like shit, and I feel like shit, and I hate everything because I barely can enjoy my own hobbies and I definitely can't even enjoy reading in bed when everythingnis a filthy reminder of the initiative and strength I lack.

I feel as if I've read/heard of all the cleaning tips/hacks/etc, but none of it is helpful if I can't even think about cleaning in a proactive non-suicidal way. Like I clean up the living room and the kitchen all the time. I'm good at tidying and cleaning. My own area suffers because IM suffering legitimately here.

And, so, I have a lot of mess that I don't want to get rid of but doesnt have a home (pants and blanket), and then my trash is nearly overflowing and a month old but every single time I'm like 'oh I should do that' in a non-critical, can-do way, I'm busy doing something else like driving or doing the dishes.

IM SO TIRED IM SO TIRED IM SOOOOO TIRED. and again like, it's bad enough I can't be functional, but I'm not even having any fun doing it I barely/rarely make any art and when I do i think it sucks, I don't have anyone to spend time with outside my family and job, and God this is getting long and I'm so tired I just want to take a nap at least it raining. I really feel like a shitty person all I do is sleep, occasionally eat, smoke while staring outside, or MAYBE watch a movie/episode, and then have work, but that's not even 20h/w so I have a lot of " " free time " " when I could be cleaning my room, practicing yoga, drawing, literally doing ANYTHING except sleeping. Jesus christ queso cristo........................

UGH if you made it this far I love you please take a chick pic

[eruditic-akechi]

hii eruditic!!! tis’ i, crepe (again.)

I’ve genuinely only been think about your hexenzirkel modern/university au lately + chronically ill rhine, and I was wondering you had any ideas on how that would be incorporated?

like would she have any mobility devices (I.E forearm crutches, a cane, etc..), what would day to day life look like, all of that and anything else you can think of!!!! I really love all your ideas about them so I’m especially excited to hear your thoughts :)))) 💜

Hiiiii sorry I kept putting this off ɛ/>

I think that in most universes, Rhine would wake up and choose not to deal with her personal issues. It'd be less severe in thee college au because she'd be arguably more sane since no abyss. HOWEVER that doesn't stop her from feeling the need to soldier on alone, much to the distress of her friends.

Tbh I feel like whatever she has would affect her hands and wrists and even up to the elbow the most (because in canon she's out there grabbing at the abyss raw), but she'd also have a lot of issues with her hips. If it gets really bad, it can radiate everywhere, but those areas are the worst and most constant. Her hips really affect her mobility when they flare, but I think she'd be too stubborn to use any mobility aid. Her friends even offered to pitch in and buy her a more aesthetic one so she doesn't need to use the old people looking ones from Walmart😭 but she refuses. Bby girl claims she doesn't need any help even as she is almost unable to walk some days.

She over does everything during the day, and the second she gets back to her room, she just collapses (usually on her bed) and genuinely can't do most things because she pushed through it too long and everything hurts and her body is just refusing to work now. She's really running on fumes and the second she stops it all crashes down on her.

Rhine also doesn't do much to help her hands and arms😭 she probably has really shaky hands because of the pain and weakness,,, which is not great for the field she's in 🫤 having shaky hands is a BITCH when ur working with 10μl in a pipette. And she doesn't like wearing braces or any of the sort because she can handle it. She probably thinks accepting any sort of help will make her seem like an attention seeker because "it's just some pain" and braces or a cane will draw attention to her issues. Honestly her condition isn't even on file at the university, so she doesn't even get university sanctioned accommodations. Because sitting during a lab where everyone's standing just means you're less capable, no? BABE NO ONE NOTICES NOR CARES THEY'RE TOO BUSY TRYING TO DO A DISTILLATION!!

She also seems like the type to honestly forget that Advil and Tylenol exist. Like, she'll be laying on the floor completely tensed from the pain and barbeloth is just like "when's the last time you took Advil, hun?" And the question catches Rhine so off guard because she forgot that's a thing she can do.

University au Rhine would be a bit more accepting of her friends' help, though! She'll let someone bring her the Advil and some water! They can hold her things! Alice is allowed to carry her IF it's bad enough and it's not too public of a place. Alice probably massages her hands to loosen them up :(

The only thing I see her doing consistently to help herself is using heat. Like heating pads or ESPECIALLY ELECTRIC BLANKETS! Even if she was perfectly healthy, I think she'd loooooove electric blanky:(. She so cold and blanky soooo warm. It's just a bonus that it eases the pain as well.

Tldr: she doesn't use anything to cope, but she lets her friends help out more and she has electric blanky:3

[catchyhuh]

HALLOWEEN!!!!

halloween pretty much started late august anyway this is overdue. let’s get seasonal. but first,

PRO VS ANTI CANDY CORN, IN ORDER:

zeni, lup (just gets a bit too sweet after that first handful) jigen, fujicakes, goemon (“tastes like a dollop of corn syrup drowned in orange sugar”)

lupin: 

fucking LOVES it. i mean you know he already loves dressing up and playing made up characters so this just feels like another excuse to get crafty with it. if he could stand the consistency/normalcy of owning a house he’d absolutely be that guy getting arrested for having way too many obnoxious decorations lighting up the street at 4 a.m. and you KNOW IT!!

would he, a grown ass man, trick or treat? no. unless you count hightailing it to walmart and stuffing those mixed packs into his shorts lolz I MEAN THAT IS TECHNICALLY FREE CANDY SO MAYBE IT COUNTS

costume: boring answer is vampire but. yeah that IS his go-to. he just loves the variety and consistency he gets with it simultaneously! of course, not to say he doesn’t have fun with it time to time. he just seems to be a vampire like, every other year

jigen:

he can have a little fun with it if he so chooses. depends on the weather, literally. if the air is crisp and the leaves are pretty and falling all nicely where they’re currently stationed for some heist or something, he’ll get in a autumny mood, but if it’s already gotten too cold, or worse, it’s still hot, then yeah he’s not super impressed

dude lowkey adores the excuse to startle people. if they actually handed out candy and shit he’d absolutely pretend to be a halloween prop sitting on the porch only to move when someone reaches for the candy bowl and tries to take two. and then he laughs so obnoxiously loudly about it that the next like five batches of kids aren’t even phased. don’t worry. a fresh, unsuspecting pack will arrive soon enough.

costume: again boring, usual answer is a werewolf. look at that beard dude he LOOKS like a werewolf!! but he could have fun with like a zombie getup, or maybe like a stereotypical 20’s mafia type. he can even wear the same hat and keep smoking, but it’s INSISTED that he get the pinstripe suit too

fujiko:

“haha, don’t you think that’s a little juvenile for me?” frankly no i don’t is cuz that a fucking bedazzled jason voorhees mask on your front door??

she’s not exactly breaking into spirit halloween, pulling out the mummy cakepops and shit, but like lupin, she loves an excuse go dress up, she just… keeps it a little more reasonable than he does

on the night of, she probably goes to like, one party, then when she’s inevitably disappointed by it, she goes home and pops in like rocky horror or something. it’s halloweeny enough

costume: NO DOUBLEDIPPING!! NEVER! she’s gone as everything reasonably attainable under the sun, so long as it doesn’t cover her lovely face up. she likes having unique costumes, but the actual ooak costume making process with the sewing machine and everything didn't really work out for her the one time she tried, so she’ll either bring together different pieces to pull it off or use some poor schmuck’s money to get one made for herself. she has fun with it!!

goemon:

doesn’t FEEL the hype but GETS it. understands it from an outsider standpoint. he knows his company well, and he understands why it appeals to them. before meeting them, he probably saw fall as a calm time of year. lmao. lol even.

really the only one i can reasonably see handing out candy in a normal, pleasant fashion. firmly insists the child may take one. but maybe they can pick a second one, since they were so polite. and maybe a third as well since they clearly put love into their costume, and it IS a bit chilly tonight-- BUT NO MORE! 

costume: guy’s already dressed like this, put some white face paint on him and ring his eyes with purple and you have your spooky long-deceased spirit of the damned. ooouuouuouuu scary! the others try to throw less generic ones at him time to time, but he doesn’t like anything TOO wacky, and need he remind you he doesn’t HAVE to partake in the festivities, so maybe he’ll be a jedi for ONE year, count it, ONE singular year, but that’s IT

zenigata:

for such a tough guy he’s very easily startled! he recovers easy but god is he sick of those stupid motion activated animatronics. he’d rather eat phillips head screws soaked in vinegar than go to a haunted house

that said his favorite parts are easily the costumes and snacks. which. duh that’s everyone’s favorite but he really is content just hanging back and looking at what other people have come up with! even if it’s common it’s fun to like. tally how many elsa’s are out there. the food, of course, is self explanatory. he may be one of the few people left on earth who immediately associate candy apples with halloween. also makes a beeline for the monster cereal the minute september hits ITS A CUTE THEME OKAY!! BOOBERRY JUST TASTES GOOD

costume: may have to be bribed into it. it’s not that he hates the fun. like i said, he thinks the costumes are cute, but he feels like it’d be too silly for him to really go out of his way getting dressed up. this of course is patently bullshit almost nothing is “too silly” for this fucker and it’s not too hard to convince him to do some bullshit. otherwise he just looks like he’s going as columbo and inspector gadget’s fused clone.