#I don't think he thinks it's wrong to be aroace

[fagsystem]

I agree so much.

I understand where it comes from. I have am a part of multiple minorities where a part of the bigotry is erasure of our experiences. A lot of conversations about our experiences do get derailed with people making it about themselves. It's frustrating to say the least.

But it's not an excuse to perpetuate bigotry.

Which, I find, is what most of these anti-solidarity mindsets are rooted in.

My best example is that I am allosexual arospec. I am not in any way shape or form asexual. Being allosexual is incredibly important to me, because I am discriminated against because of my sexual attraction being queer. Because I have unique experiences of discrimination that a majority of aroace people don't experience that overlaps with the discrimination I experience for being polyamorous.

This is one of those cases where I well and truly actually am in a lot of conversations completely erased and spoken over. Aromantic is seen as a subsection of asexuality, many people don't consider it it's own separate identity and instead a type of asexual that doesn't want romance either. And a majority of that specific erasure does come from asexuals.

It did for a little while affect how I felt about asexuals. Never in any extreme ways, but I felt bitter whenever asexuality came up. I was very clear that I did not find any community at all with asexuals in any way shape or form, including aromantics who's aromanticism is inseparable from their asexuality. I didn't interact with them or shared spaces at all. I didn't feel like they understood what my experiences were like at all, theirs were different completely different.

But the problem was never asexuals. Yes, it was them being asexual that caused it to present the way it did. But that wasn't because they held some kind of specific power or privilege over alloaros. It is the exact same mechanism as when non-aspec people perpetuate a similar type of bigotry, their proximity to my experiences just changed how that looked.

Intersectionality is a big confusing mess. A lot of people misunderstand bigotry and oppression to be some kind of greater than less than math problem. It's not as simple as 'Lesbian > Gay Man, because they're both queer but ones a woman so that makes them More Oppressed.' It's more that both of the following are true:

1. Gay men can be incredibly misogynistic and homophobic towards sapphic queerness, and a lot of this bigotry can stem from the privilege that the patriarchy can give them as men. Often times their homophobia doesn't stem from the same place it does for many homophobes, they don't think it's wrong or sinful or should be illegal. And because of that their homophobia is usually more clearly rooted in misogyny, and also sometimes in a bullshit attempt at self preservation trying to secure what privilege they do have by being oppressive.

2. Radical feminism is still bad and perpetuating the patriarchy even if the person it's being said about is a man. Especially when that man is a part of another minority, his status as a man can result in unique experiences of bigotry because of how intersectionality works. Throughout history in multiple countries, homophobic laws were much harsher on queer men than queer women. Queer women weren't privileged over queer men, but queer men experienced bigotry they didn't that they could perpetuate like anyone else could. This kind of bigotry still exists in modern day. If a radical feminist accuses a gay man of being a violent sex pervert rapist who violated her consent because he wore a pup hood to pride, it doesn't really matter if she was protesting outside the event or attending it with her girlfriend.

I need to get ready to go out. I'm going out to my real life queer community, my local LGBTQ+ bar, where people are like. Normal. We're all there because we're similar people. Most of us are queer. Most of us are considered freaks and sex perverts by the masses. Most of us like getting piss drunk with our friends.

I'm already high so I have no idea how coherent this is. But you can have your own unique experiences, and others having similar ones isn't erasing yours. Just like yours aren't erasing theirs. And if you talk to people with their experiences who aren't assholes perpetuating the bigotry that erases you, you'll find it was the people not the identity. And you can get piss drunk together.

Or be hydrated if getting piss drunk isn't your style. And if you struggle with hydration, putting water and one of those dissolvable electrolyte pills into a shot glass helps a lot. Something for everyone yay. Love and peace and faggotry <3

Personally I don't really understand why we are so anti-solidarity these days, but I don't like it.

"I relate to your struggle because it sounds similar to my struggle, therefore I want to help you with this the way I would have wanted to be helped myself" is pretty much the baseline of allyship. For whatever reason, though, it's almost become a matter of stolen valor and stealing the spotlight, and frequently I see it rejected outright.

I just don't get it. Personally I am thrilled when someone who Isn't Like Me reaches out to share help or even just an encouragement. I don't really see it as an out group "making it about themselves" if they're just trying to say they've experienced similar and sympathize.

[actuallyrizgukgak]

Riz is aroace as we all know (do not fight me on this) but my headcanon that's sort of already implied is that once he figures it out he doesn't really tell any of his friends. He invents Baron to get away from it, and even in early high school he had ideas that he didn't feel the same way other people did. Once he discovers there's a word for it he just keeps it to himself. It's scary enough to come out, and especially with all his friends teasing him about how surely he has a crush on someone, that's a very suppressive feeling. Other thought is he had the words when he told his dad and really badly wanted to actually tell him but just couldn't, afraid if he put the words to it it would become too real for him to handle. He doesn't tell his friends, he doesn't tell his parents, he doesn't tell Jawbone, because he doesn't even want it for himself.

[egophiliac]

I dip out for like three days and they drop a new Riderlad on us?!

[adhdo5]

Apothecary Diaries S1 spoilers

Relatedly I see why some people read Maomao as 100% not-even-once aroace but as smth that's aroace itself I don't rlly agree with that reading? I think she is pretty vividly aspec+arospec but from pretty early on I didn't get the sense that it's a Never for her in that way and like . Mm it's related to her general core arc of like, her contentment is genuine but also it's an intentional choice. Like for an example I believe her when she says she's happy considering herself Luomen's daughter and doesn't want for a parental relationship w/ her biological parents, but I don't believe her when she says the circumstances of her birth and her relationship with Fengxian "doesn't matter" and that it doesn't affect her. She's still having nightmares and distinctly Having Unprocessed Feelings about her relationship w/ Fengxian yk? And similarly across the series it's a running thing that like she keeps saying "OK my job here is done it doesn't matter what happens from then on" but she can't actually detach/deinvest herself from that fallout as much as she claims to intend

I don't think Maomao is unfulfilled, much less unhappy; I do think Maomao in multiple regards and as a running feature of her character is living with not seeking fulfillment, and there's things she writes off as unimportant for herself because the cost/benefit of seeking them out is stacked against her even if pursuing those would make her happy or would be rewarding or the right thing to do. Not even necessarily happier especially in the sense of a relationship; I think even if Maomao is allo she very meaningfully isn't lacking for a romantic relationship, and even if she ends up w/ Jinshi that doesn't mean he's the romantic relationship that would be right for her necessarily? Idk if this is making sense anymore

[magiefish]

I think old interviews and reading/listening to DWEU stuff has slow cooked me into being a bit of a one-sided Turlough/Five shipper (maybe, maybe not) out of pure pragmatism, because these writers are constantly introducing ship-tease / love interests for Turlough and just. Not really doing anything with them because obviously you can't develop one-off characters into influential fully-fledged convincing relationships. And you can't do Tegan x Turlough because no, and then they try to do the whole 'Turlough was in love with Nyssa' thing and it's like okay?? If you factor in the older!Nyssa arc and those three years they spent in Brisbane then maybe, but also we all know by now that she either ends up with her husband or later probably Tegan so that's not going to go anywhere.

And at best the reason I can come up with for why they keep doing this is because Mark Strickson might have had an interest in Turlough having a love interest on the show just because it would have given him a more well-developed relationship with another character and maybe something to do post-Enlightenment. So everyone just keeps on bending over backwards, trying to conjure a female love interest for Turlough, who is both long-term and convincing, and it's like.

Guys. I can think of someone who he has a long-term relationship with and who was also key to his character arc and who he also literally defied god for.

Like *hand on their shoulder* There is another way. But you're not going to like it.

[pepperuni]

Just started the 5th ep of tua s4 and idk if this is controversial for some but I just came to here to say i do NOT support five x lila!!!! can writers please stop going "well, if 2 people spend an extended amount of time with just each other, OF COURSE they'll fall in love"!!!! lila is still married and also an adult!!! five is aroace and in a minor's body (or close to, idk his exact age atp)!!!

(Please don't take this too seriously i beg)

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Fallen Thorns

dark urban fantasy coming-of-age

follows a boy settling into university, when after a date (that he didn’t even want to go on) turns bad he’s made into a vampire

as he settles into his new existence and the local vampire community - while they try to find who’s been leaving bodies across the city - he discovers that there’s something different and darker within him

aroace neurodivergent MC

[lasymit]

Well... I saw this:

So...

Any ships with Philip is always problematic because actually deep down he is a child and a deer

[eyes1nthewoods]

connor smut but he has to wear a strap on because he's a unique model and none of the genital components are compatible with him

[friendlyneighborhoodcat]

Forsaken Yandere HC-3

Took a while for me to actually start on this because of homework, sorry for the delay:(

I still got 2 pounds of assignment I gotta finish but regardless, enjoy the food<3

This one is for the killers, Noob, and n7 btw. The other survivors are in my two other post

Coolkid will automatically be a platonic yandere, romantic yandere Coolkid writers DNI.

Jason will be the only non-yandere in all three parts. I HC him to be aroace and refuses to look past that.

Warning: Might be ooc

1x1x1x1: She's a narcissistic, sadistic, and pathetic wet cat. Will def target anyone BUT you. Always leave you for LMS (She still kills you, tho, she just likes the thrill of it). Would definitely be grumpy if u ended up winning the LMS and went back to the killer's cabin to stab the wall with her Daemonshank. She resents you, a lot, for being on her mind 24/7. She has long taught herself that affection is weakness(HC), so she doesn't know why it was much different when it comes to you. She's too prideful to admit shit, so if anything you'll just get absolutely mauled if you ever mentioned or teases her about it. It always feels wrong to kill you specifically, and she's fuming that it is.

John Doe: He's a gentleman when it comes to you, mainly because the feeling he has for you reminded him of the feelings he still has for ____. He'd give you small things like flowers he found in a round, or things he made by hand. He doesn't understand much of humans' emotions, but he still tries to for your sake. He always leaves you for LMS before coming up to you and trying to communicate. It always scares the living shit out of you, but you eventually let your guard down a little and share with him some things abt you. You're still wary of him, though, that's for sure. But he's always patient with you. He'll literally do whatever you tell him to, seriously. Tell him to go fight The Spectre, and he WILL actually try it. The Spectre ended up throwing him back to the Killers' cabin with a warning.

C00lkid: Strictly platonic yandere!! He loves you mainly because you're friendly and open around his dad. Would definitely target you first because you're 'his new fav tag buddy', it's only cuz n7's clone fools him every time and he got grumpy from that. You pity him, you really do, since he has to be forced to kill in order to survive as a child. So you're always forgiving and patient when it comes to something that he did. Even if it's server wiping and ripping you to pieces, you'd still forgive him. He thinks of you as a second parent because of that, so he'd always try to get you to 'marry' n7 so it can be official. He's not, in any way, possessive of you. He just gets upset when you show attention to anyone else who isn't his dad.

Jason: Yell at me all you want, but Jason is NOT a romantic yandere. Nor is he a platonic yandere. He's not the type to get jealous or protective over someone. He does think you're cool, tho. Doesn't stop him from hitting you with gashing wound. He only kinda likes you because his mother likes you, but even then, he still wouldn't hold back from server wiping. Overall, he doesn't give a fuck. Ki ki ma ma

Noob: He's tripping over his own feet running around trying to please you. Nervous as hell when it comes to interactions regarding you. You would have to be the one to start a convo with him, cuz he's too scared to even be in your vicinity. He does share his bloxy colas with you during rounds, only if you ask cuz he's fucking terrified of you. You find his nervousness endearing in a way, while he's just trembling when you're around. It's bc of him thinking that you're too cool and stuff to be hanging around him, and he thinks you're judging him for everything he does. He's pathetic, I know. Your patience does get him to warm up to you a little, but he's still somewhat closed off.

007n7: You're one of the few people who don't mind his past, hence why he likes you. He wouldn't show himself much during rounds, but he would leave bloxy colas and medkits near your area(referencing YFAT AU, peak AU btw yall should check it out). He'd apologize for Coolkid's behavior whenever his son tries to get you to 'marry' him. You both find it quite amusing, though. He loves it when you start convos with him regarding the CoolGUI, though he does get uncomfortable when he mentions his past. He'd sometimes get dirty looks from Elliot when he was around you, and he'd visibly flinch from that(Elliot heavily resents him for burning his workplace several times and fears something like that might happen to you).

-----

UEUEUUEUEUE

This is so painful to write, especially when I don't know most of their personalities *sobs*

I'd love to write additional characters like Noli, Azure, or Mafioso but this post would be too long and I'm too tired for that sighs.

I'm considering taking requests, but it's not decided yet since I have to see if I have the time

BYE SILLIES<3

[joyfulhottubfuntik]

I literally can't stop thinking about what would've happened if Stan died before or during the portal incident. Because there were so many instances when it could've happened, whether with Ford involved at all or not.

Because I know it would completely break Ford, no matter the circumstances. Just the realization that they would never reconcile, that the last time they talked would be the argument the night Stan was kicked out. And that would be it. No more second chances. No more holding a grudge and waiting for Stanley to apologize. All of that would be over and destroyed.

And a part of Ford would be completely gone forever, together with the ability to be truly happy. No matter what he would do, it would just feel wrong, the fact that Stanley isn't there and would never ever be there. Just the fact that he himself is still alive.

He would keep living though. Not that he wouldn't consider ending it all. But ultimately he would not. If only because, without him, who would even remember Stanley? Their mother perhaps, but, after all, she would still have other sons, grandchildren, things to worry about, ways to distract herself from mourning. She cares, but not as much as Ford does. He would refuse to forget and find distractions. And so he would see himself as responsible for making sure Stan's never forgotten, even if it's far too late. That's all he would be left to do, the only way he'd be able to help.

All of his great aspirations would be forgotten. He'd earn just enough money to keep himself alive and that's it.

As for his family... I don't think he'd communicate much with them, not because of Stan's death but because of the life he had lead. Because, upon his brother's passing Ford would definitely find out that he was homeless and struggling. Soon would follow, the discovery that their family knew and did nothing to help, just let it happen. (And i believe they, at least the parents, pretty much did. What else would you expect to come to a 17 yo boy kicked out into the street, with only a duffle bag and no highschool degree?). I guess Ford wouldn't be against being in his nephew's or his grand niblings' lives. Maybe Sherman's. But their parents' is a no go.

Kudos to @aroace-get-out-of-my-face and @inkyrainstorms for their posts on this lol. God am I mentally ill about this old man. There isn't really anything interesting or new about this post, just a stream of consciousness, so I can get all of these thoughts out and be free. So I'm sorry for tagging you here, but I would feel bad not to😭

[kissessio]

The thing is, a lot of Saiki ships are actually super peak (Saiteru, Saiura, Saitou, Saikechi, and a few rareships like Toritsai and Kubosai) but the fandom has engraved it into their skulls that Saiki is AroAce 💔🥀

And honestly, there's nothing wrong with that headcanon, and I like seeing AroAce presentation, but I'd like to emphasise that that's just a HEADCANON – legit, I've seen someone say "Saiki is canonically aro ace! The tsundure thing is just a headcanon!" – ho, it's the other way around ‼️

The reason Saiki K is so funny is because he's an unreliable narrator – not everything he says is true or comes true – and what makes his character loveable is that he's a tsundure, as he has verbally mentioned in the grandpa episode when he said, and I quote, "You've been a tsundure way longer than I have."

Not to mention the anime has made him seem more nonchalant :( in the mangga, he's way more expressive in terms of body language and facial expressions, which further makes me think that without his powers, he'd genuinely just be like his dad 🥹

Again, the AroAce headcanon is harmless, but don't go shitting on other ships because you're blinded by this false narrative that Saiki is actually AroAce.

[huginsmemory]

Ford's Dreams; Attraction and Asexuality

In Bill's quips in TBOB on what the characters dream about, the quip he had on Ford caught my eye: "Sixer dreams about a pop quiz that asks him "what are you attracted to?" He usually writes "I'm attracted to logic and preparation." Not sure what to call that! Plansexual?". Immediately upon reading it, it made me question the implicit meanings of that small blurb, on Ford's sexuality (as someone whose aroace) and on the potential reason why such a dream was reoccurring, which I've explored below:

Extra addition added (Jan 6 2025)!

The first of two pages in TBOB on Bill's quips on characters dreams; this page includes Ford's, Dippers, Mabel's and Wendy's dream comments.

First of all, there are two types of quips Bill makes about the characters dreams. First, and the main type of comment, are negatively connotated, generally close to or even are nightmares. Dipper, about over hearing his parents fight about divorce, Mabel who has nightmares about waddles dying, Wendy who dreams about her Mom, who died, Stan's about Ford getting stuck in his science fair experiment, and Pacifica about the lumberjack ghost and blood that doesn't wash off her hands. Most of these are things that play off subconscious or conscious fears or grief (or memories in relation to fear or grief). The second type of quip, are goofs; such as Robbie's real hair colour, or Blubs and Durland only dreaming about each other (both on the other page, not depicted). So where does Ford's comment for in? At first glance, Ford's dream quip somewhat comes out as a goof (especially considering the horrible things he's gone through and seen). But for a central, serious character, and considering the context of the book, I really don't think this is a goof, but more of the first type of quip, on darker/nightmare sort of dreams.

But if it's is a nightmare, then why would a pop quiz about what he's attracted to be nightmare material?

First of all, regarding the set up of the dream, a quiz explicitly implies that you are being judged on your answer. There is a rubric for right or wrong answers, and someone, in a higher position of power, often in an academic institution, judges you by this. Ford is a character that's been clearly driven for the good first half of his life by excellency in academic achievement, and this implies that it's very important to him to get the quiz correct, to have the right answer, and that he fears being wrong.

Now on the subject matter of what the quiz entails; the subject of romance and attraction. Regarding canon, romance isn't one we get particularly clear images on with Ford, compared to Stan who flirts and literally goes out on a date during the series. We only really ever get two direct human interactions that could be implied to be considered romantic in nature (sorry fiddauthor's, there isn't anything from Ford's side of things that imply any extra feelings beyond cherished friend; Fiddleford in the other hand...). These are when he speaks to a girl at a dance and gets juice thrown on him, and in Journal 3 on the page that decodes on the page about himself to "LITTLE CATHY WHAT A DREAM HELD HER HAND AND MADE HER SCREAM". (There is also technically the one throw away line about Ford dating a siren in one of the Lost Legends comics, which would be the only time we know of Ford actually being in a romantic relationship; but that's something that never gets elaborated on, and when Dipper says that he's literally reading from the Bill page from Journal 3, so I'm unsure on the weight of such a statement). Compulsory heteronormativity aside as demanded by censors, both the implied attempts don't go well, and in the second one it directly implies Ford's six fingers are directly part of the reason why he's undesirable. Ford clearly deeply struggles with belonging around his 'weirdness'; case in point with the whole page about it in Journal 3. In this case, his bad luck in romance as a teen, possibly as a result of his 'wierdness', continues to alienate him from other people. As a result, a quiz focusing on romance may further remind Ford about his 'wrongness' as he doesn't have the socially expected romantic relationship.

Stanford's author pages in journal 3. The cipher on the right page decodes to what is described in the paragraph above. Note his emphasis on feeling alienated.

However, what's perhaps more telling about it is that the quiz asks what are you attracted too?, which is more sexual than really romantic in nature. And it's telling because what Ford puts down is logic and preparation. These aren't physical attributes as one may assume to answer these questions; neither is it gendered, or even really based on a person, but rather left open as the concepts (ie, he doesn't say someone who is logical and well-prepared). This Bill even jokes about, with 'plan-sexual'. And Ford's answer is not a typical 'male' answer (in the toxic sense, but also, just generally, since people experience sexual attraction) which Bill also notes with the joke. This 'incorrect' answer could be construed as another thing that's wrong with him, especially back in the day; emphasizing again Ford's wrong-ness and alienation.

Not to mention, beyond those two instances described above (interestingly, these occur previous to Ford's falling out with Stan, in which after he highly prioritizes academic achievement) Ford shows no interest in romantic relationships. This disinterest in pursuing romance is contrary to a lot of people who are still workaholics who have significant others/hook-up on the weekend in their meager time off. Ford's general disinterest in romance is also something that others him, with how our society puts so much emphasis on romantic and sexual relationships. And this is something that IMMEDIATELY caught my eye as someone whose within the general ballpark of aroace; there is a huge amount of alienation from society when you are disinterested in sexual/romantic relationships. Especially when toxic masculinity expects you to constantly be horny. So having someone ask you that question of what you are attracted too is awkward, and depending on the audience, socially difficult question to field. And often an answer to that comes out sounding exactly like Ford's, based on personality rather than physical attributes, if you don't decide to come out (not that Ford would know queer jargon anyways). So this question, posed in a quiz, with Ford being quite Ace-coded, would bring up these feelings of alienation, along with those about failure on not having the right 'answer' regarding attractiveness and the failure of not having a girlfriend.

The infamous Billford page in TBOB, of 'one thing led to another'. Also note Ford saying that Bill's "really got it all figured out".

Now, beyond that, we're also reading this in the context of TBOB. Even before the new info in TBOB, Ford openly worshipped Bill; and in TBOB it becomes clear that they certainly had something going on between them (cough, one thing lead to another, cough). This suggests that Ford found Bill attractive in some form of attraction, whether romantic, sexual or queer-platonic-ish. This especially so, considering the answer Ford puts down; logic and preparation. Bill, who corrected and furthered Ford's knowledge, who came to him as a being of pure knowledge (logic), and who helped him plan the portal, who ironically also had other plans of world domination beyond that (preparation). Bill fits the description, even if he's not human, but Ford's not bothered by that, Ford's a freak himself and it's clear in finding that acceptance he's ecstatic (freak4freak). And that attraction, that care Ford had/has for Bill? Now that's something that's horrifying, something that's filled with guilt, terror, and also embarrassment and fear of how others will react; case in point with Ford literally ripping those journal pages out so the others don't know about the extent of his and Bill's relationship, and in TBOB he acknowledges that. And that's not to mention the potential additives of negative emotions from failing to have attraction for the right person, from failing to meet toxic masculinity standards, and the emphasis of being a freak that made him fall for Bill. Now that's emotionally negatively charged for a fucking nightmare.

Like. Fuck. What are you attracted too? The being that I thought was a god of pure knowledge and thought that strung me along like a fish on line with bait of knowledge and companionship, and I ate that bait, hook, line, and sinker, so deep within my belly I fell in love with him; the being that betrayed me, that wants to destroy my world and used me to do it. The being I shouldn't even love in the first place, because you're supposed to love what's normal, but I've never been able to do that as a freak show. The being I've spent half my life hunting down to kill. And now here I am, with this fucking mess of my own making, after threats and torture and the world ending, and some small fucking part of me still loves him.

So, yeah. I don't think that's just a comedy line. I think that's a line that potentially has way more about Ford's feelings of alienation, of his failure to be attracted to the right person, of guilt and fear around his relationship with Bill, and especially so of others perceiving it.

EDIT (05/01/2025): Also for your consideration, as mentioned in the tags by @vespertin-y and @5p4ced-0ut, these DIRECT QUOTES BY FORD IN TBOB. ABOUT WHY ONE WOULD MAKE A DEAL WITH BILL.

All the scenarios listed by Ford apply to himself;

You're at a desperate low? Failing to find, or prove the universal weirdness theorum; but really, truly beneath that, being basically completely alone for all the years since college, and being desperately lonely and seeking affection and acceptance.

Lost something dear to you? A bit more abstract, but Ford's alone, and he's alone because he chose to lose Stan, to seek acceptance through academic achievement. And it's his loneliness that truly drives him to Bill; not academic achievement, even if that's part of the reason. He's trying to fill that void of love and acceptance thats been there since Stan left. That's something that's dear to him that he's lost. Although it could also just be a nod to Bill's magic, in that he can use it to fulfill things.

Throes of all-consuming monomaniacal ambition? Do I need to say anything about this? Ford caused the apocalypse (partly) out of his ambition.

Now of course these all lead up to the very last one: or perhaps you're just attracted to things that hurt you? This heavily implies Ford's felt, as I outlined above, some sort of attraction to Bill.

It's also a strong thing to say about their relationship. What's interesting about this one, is that at the beginning, their relationship wasn't a painful relationship for Ford; codependent as fuck, sure, but no one was actively hurting the other. It wasn't until they began to become jealous and petty with each other when Fiddleford began working that there is resentment and emotional pain, and then there's the big reveal, and all there is of their relationship for Ford is emotional pain and betrayal. In that manner, he wasn't originally attracted to Bill because of masochism in the literal sense; but rather due to rather an attraction built on genuine connection and companionship that ultimately ended horribly.

So basically, the 'attracted to someone that hurts you', is another line that falls under the heavy implication that Ford felt some sort of attraction to Bill; and that Ford struggles with shame and guilt around his attraction to Bill, especially as the comment is actually a lie (a common abuse victim lie) that minimizes their relationship, especially from Bill's side.

But he still says the sentence. So why is he lying/believing he's telling the truth? That comes down to what he's trying to diminish, and the guilt he has around attraction. The sentence, written of course post series when Ford is deeply jaded about Bill and his relationship, is written in a deeply bitter way. And it's a very self-directedly bitter way! Of course the being I fall in love with ends up betraying and hurting me; I never can do anything correctly. By saying that 'he's attracted to pain', he implicitly within the statement blames himself for the abuse, construing it as some way inevitable that this would occur due to his 'wrong' nature, especially around attraction as evident above. This self-blame and 'inevitability' is actually common to those who have low self-esteem and are victims of abuse, which Ford is. Ford already is shown to feel guilt and shame around his attraction to Bill for various reasons, such as the failure to be attracted to the right being, and doubly so with it ending up being an abusive relationship. This self-blame of 'i'm attracted to pain' denies that Ford was seeking genuine connection, and found it in Bill; it construes Bill as always having hurt Ford. Which is untrue! But this does function as a way to suppresses Ford's possible remaining positive emotions he has around Bill (by demonizing him as something horrible, understandable as he's been trying to kill him for 30 years) and also provides Ford an illusion of power over the situation; of course I had and remained in a relationship with Bill because I enjoy pain. It's easier to say (and delude yourself you like it, and you abuser may even encourage that, to avoid the pain) then admit you don't know how to escape, or fear escaping. And I think Ford did just that.

(Also, side note: What's also a kicker is that we are creatures of habit. So relationship dynamics we grow up in, are often ones we tend re-create later in life, because those are dynamics we are comfortable in, even if they are terrible dynamics. But that doesn't mean that it will always, nor have to be recreated. In some way, Ford did this; he recreated a dynamic from his father, in always looking up to Bill, and requiring praise from him to support his self esteem.)

Also, contextually, this negative recount of Bill makes sense as it's functioning as a warning for the reader within the page; informing the reader that no matter what, Bill will hurt you if you make a deal. This embarrassment and shame about Bill is contrary to some readings, in which Ford confesses to having cared about Bill; but this page is early in TBOB! It's before the pages all the rest of the family put in; it's possible this page was added 'before' the rest of the family read TBOB and Ford comes to acceptance with his feelings around Bill.

[rorydrawsandwrites]

Hi. I'm new here. But the Puzzles AU sexyman tournament by @alelathedragon seems very fun, so here are my biases (as helpfully demonstrated by my OC Firkász)

Ms Puzzles by @dakaakula - She is sooo gorgeous. I support women's wrongs I think she should get to do whatever she wants and face no repercussions. I just found out she's married to herself which is hilarious, but also I respect it and shall only admire from afar (even as an aroace I am not immune to pretty whaman)

Goomba Puzzles by @blue-doofus - I accidentally upscaled him a little but in my defense WHY IS HE SO SMALL. Tiny turd indeed. Could fit in my palm like a hamster. Anyway, wanted to give him a little smooch on his little head because he's a wonderful emotional support creature. I would accept him as my president

Professor Puzzles by @jovialoddity - He's so wrinkled and exasperated I love him. Bless his heart I'd love to listen to him tell me all about filmmaking, non-sequitur stories included. Cheering on this beautiful fossil with two thumbs up, hope he makes it far

Dominator Puzzles by @icedbeverageenjoyer - This AU concept is honestly so cool, I love how well thought out it is. The clones are a really neat idea. Excited to see more in the future, and I think he'll do pretty well in the tournament also. I mean, free housing? No taxes? The denizens will wanna be enslaved sooo bad. Just look at Firkász

And as a bonus: the boys of my moots!!

Complete AU by @emeraldsk on the left and Puzzlevision Junior AU by @fluffygiraffe on the right!! Drawing this I also noticed they both have capes, that's so fun. I don't recall PJ being in the tournament, as I had initially assumed? But Complete definitely is; either way, godspeed 🙏

[emilija04acer]

Jayvik fics list (pt 1)

(+ some Jayvikmel)

They are soulmates, Your Honor, whether platonic or romantic is irrelevant.

Firstly, here is an essay by isdisorigionale. Yes, they apparently wanted to write about a brotherly relationship. But it doesn't really read like that, in my opinion.

An Aroace Analysis of Jayvik—Not Necessarily Romance, Absolutely Not “Bros”

Their summary>

An essay I wrote in 90 minutes 2 hours after finishing Season 2 Act 3. Notably, those two hours were spent screaming to my friends on how fucking generational that Jayvik was.

Or: They obviously didn't need to make them make out to show how much they love each other, but I’m also pissed at how apparently this is being called a bromance like ?????

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Now onto the fanfics >

Green is my thoughts on the fics.

Those are shorter fics that I read...After the finale, fanfiction is helping me cope. I'll make a separate list with older and longer fics.

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You're Dreaming by Skullsz_Writes

Viktor & Jayce are researching in the library, but Jayce falls asleep...

Short and sweet fic about Viktor crushing on Jayce in season 1

An Epilogue by GwenEani

In the countryside of Demacia two men arrive one day, no one knows anything about them, no one even knows their names for certain. But they know one thing: they are partners and are here to stay.

What if Jayce and Viktor didn't die in each other's arms but were teleported away and were living domestic lives? There are a lot of these here, and rightfully so. They deserve some happiness.

to rot and ruin by ember360

The first words Viktor says to Jayce are immortalised on Jayce's wrist. The first words Jayce says to Viktor... are not what he thinks.

Soulmate AU for these two was a need. I love Soul Mark fanfictions.

Fortune Kooky by setbet

“And you end up with… a beard!” she exclaimed pointing at Jayce’s face.

Viktor rolled his eyes while Jayce looked on, amazed at her prophecy.

“And then…” she turned her gaze to Viktor. “You turn into a robot!” cried out the fortune teller, falling back in fear. “A terrifying robot bent on taking over the world!”

“Eh, sounds fake,” said Viktor.

“Viktor, don't be rude!” said Jayce, but starting to feel a bit doubtful at this point.

A fic about two academy boys visiting a completely accurate fortune teller.

Universal Constants. by Azurita25

“Yes, well… there is also the idea of constants, no? Universal constants. Gravity is always present, the Earth always spins around the sun–”

“And we always end up doing laundry together?”

“I do not think the laundry is the part that’s important,” Viktor stressed.

“So what is?” Jayce replied, making Viktor laugh, shake his head.

“You are.”

--Or, a glimpse into all the universes where Jayce and Viktor find each other.

wrong bedroom by a1sher

“Wait a minute, this isn’t my bedroom.” Viktor and Jayce tries to break into Heimerdinger’s lab only to end up in Viktor’s bedroom;)

What if Mel accepted Vik's excuse?

…And They Were Roommates! by draconabraxas

Mel Medarda never thought she’d go on a date with a taken man; homewrecking was beneath a woman of her standing.

In her defense, nobody in their circle seemed to know if Jayce and Viktor were together, either. So, how was she supposed to know?

Miscomunication and more miscomunication! Mel isn't a sidepeace!

Why Love Songs Exist by Slither

"All these timelines at our fingertips." Viktor pauses. He smirks in such a way that Jayce knows he has a silly idea. "It would be funny if I were a worm in an alternate universe," he says.

"I think you would be a cute worm," says Jayce—his Jayce—without hesitation, and then he shrugs. "I would put you in the best garden I could find and feed you the freshest fruits," he adds casually.

Giopara is silently mouthing the phrase "what the fuck" behind them, as Viktor's mouth falls open. "Oh."

Oh, he says, as if that did not remind him of everything Jayce revealed before they sacrificed their souls to contain the Arcane. Oh, that he was beautiful. Oh, that he was...

Desired?

Or Jayce basically confessed his love, but the specifics remained unclear to Viktor.

Kiss me like one of your Zaun Boys by setbet

“They’re making out in the lab.”

“Yeah, they do that a lot.”

“But they’re not boyfriends?”

“We don’t talk about it.”

The first time Viktor kissed Jayce, it was a quick peck on the cheek, followed by a casual conversation. The next time it's on the lips, but then it's back to talk about formulas. Jayce concludes it must be a cultural thing, and also starts to kiss Viktor back. Everybody else is confused.

A story of two friends kissing each other, who are definitely not boyfriends.

only you by babybirb

Jayce and Viktor don't quite cease to exist. Instead, they are side by side in each breath, in each droplet of blood, in each wave of sound and light. What seems to be the end, is only the beginning for them. And together, they pave their way forth.

An ethereal alternate after-ending to Jayce and Viktor and the love they hold for each other. With it, they exist within all possibilities.

not to me, not if it's you by brewstersbru

They were supposed to die, then, a better ending than Viktor expected. Far sweeter than he deserved. Jayce’s hand warm and broad against his neck, foreheads tipped together, breaths fanning over skin. It was neat. It was nice.

And then he woke up, splayed in a field, draped in the tatters of Jayce’s blanket. A groan rose from his left, then some pitiful shuffling before a final, loud thump, accompanied by a slight warble.

perfect imperfections by bbgghost

In his dying moments, Jayce revisits some important moments he has shared with Viktor. And makes some new memories along the way.

i knew you in another life (you had that same look in your eyes) by coefemi

Jayce shakes his head. “You don’t need to thank me. I’d do it for you. I’d do anything.” He sounds so earnest too, and Viktor believes him. He is safe with this boy, he decides. Jayce’s smile makes him feel like he can eat the world raw, and Viktor wants to hold onto it forever.

 When Viktor and Jayce's foreheads touch, all the infinite what-could-have-beens spill through their minds.

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2x7 AU\No Hextech AU

I'd love to see more of this AU and will also write fanfiction about it.

Quiet Resonance by Qakk281

Jayce rarely wakes up before Viktor, but on the rare mornings he does, he savors every second.

After the events of Act 3, Jayce and Viktor found themselves in a different timeline, where Hextech doesn't exist.

what could've been, would've been (what should've been you) by ghostlyecho

They got married in this universe.

Jayce grabs Viktor’s left hand, examining it. He looks at his own.

Twin rings adorn their fingers, Viktor’s golden, Jayce’s silver, both holding a fragment of blue crystal in the middle.

They’re married. They vowed their life to the other, they promised themselves to one another, they actually acted upon the deep-rooted emotions that coursed through the garden that was their relationship, that stubborn weed called love, that always came back no matter how many times you plucked it.

What if it was Jayce who got to see his life in an alternate universe

What Could Have Been by TheUnknownGoose

When Jayce woke up he nearly leaped out of bed when he realized bed? Why am I in bed? His heart was pounding against his rib cage as he looked around. He was in a bedroom, not his though.

Or Jayce sees what could have been if one thing had gone differently.

In Every Universe, It's You by AniresNevil

In an Alternate Universe, a young scientist Jayce loses his hopes and dreams when an explosion in his studyroom takes a life of an young girl. Dean's assistant Viktor still seems to find him in every lifetime, and together they accomplish something once again with the power of their partnership. And maybe with something more.

What happened to Jayce and Viktor in the Universe where Ekko traveled to in season 2?

Both arms cradle you now by Alexthestarlover

They're meant to be. In every timeline of any universe, throughout all the endless possibilities of actions and worlds. Their souls are intertwined. But is it possible that they're together in death too? 

there was something about you, but now i cant remember by DipitinPuddinggg

He held out a hand for a shake, "I'm Jayce."

At the edges of his mind, a familiar voice echoed through the walls of his skull. A voice that was the same but also not. A face that was so familiar, but too smooth at this point in time, not yet marred by years of labour and hardship that not even the strongest person in Runeterra could survive on his own.

"I don't even know your name."

Viktor smiled and shook it, "Viktor."

After getting sucked into the rune, Jayce and Viktor get transported to a different timeline without the memories of their previous life. Except, some things start seeping in.

you'll never shine if you don't glow by hexcorehomos

Viktor woke up, his fact was hot, sweat dripping down it. Where was he?

He looked around, it looked like Piltover. He slowly tried to get up, still confused. He should be dead, he exploded with the Arcane. That's when he figured out that his leg was back to normal. He groaned, falling face down into the grass. He wondered if Jayce was here too, oh, Jayce. What would Viktor do without him?

He saw a few people pass, but he got the courage to speak up when he saw familiar blue hair, almost like Jinx's. "Uh, miss.." he got her attention, turning towards him.

"Hello, sir?" she responded. She had gorgeous blue eyes. "I need- I need help. My cane is gone, and I cant walk without it." he lied, desperate for help.

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The Poly relationship>

Radical Violence Theory by begaydocrimes10001

When Mel Medarda realizes that she's completely ignored Viktor's potential as a scientist, as an academic, she quickly seeks to remedy that. He may not be Jayce Talis, but he has his own brain, and he seems to be far more useful than most think. She's a practical woman, after all- it would be useful to have another genius on her side.

And when she realizes Viktor is also in love with Jayce Talis, and Jayce loves them both? She's still practical, after all-- she sees an opportunity.

(Or, Mel and Viktor are more similar than one might think. That applies to who they love, but it applies to how they love too.)

Mel and Vik are platonic in this one, and I love it. Sadly, the positive interaction between them in Cannon is non-existent.

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Explicit> (some are 2x8 specific)

Wild Like a March hare by crow_brain

Wild are the glimpses of their life, hot coals burning the soles of their feet. They dance like animals, trying to close the gap between.

(Or the body worship Viktor's always should've gotten)

Cosmic Coitus by Wink_Wonk_Wank_Wenk

Now that there’s nothing but space around them, they can do whatever they want.

Inevitable Change by magisterpavus

Viktor isn’t the same when he comes back.

Jayce is determined to make it work anyway.

convince you by spectacularorange

after being rejected once, viktor must find a way to convince jayce to join him.

2x8

Partners. by lw192

Taking place during the fight scene in the councilor's room, Jayce and Viktor reconcile and realize just how much they need each other.

(Jayce and Viktor fuck on the councilor's table.)

Can I hold you? (Even if its just pretend?) by Issavandra

“My partner died in this room,” he ground out.

“Do I seem dead to you Jayce?” Viktor asked. Jayce could feel him moving closer, he swore he felt something brush his nose. “I have never been more alive.”

A cool, metallic finger passed over his bottom lip in a featherlight touch. It felt almost reverent. “Do you want me to show you just how alive I am?”

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Pt 2is here>

https://www.tumblr.com/emilija04acer/768620668211331072/jayvik-fics-list-pt2?source=share

Pt 3 (new fics)>

https://www.tumblr.com/emilija04acer/769136252271362048/jayvik-list-pt3

[friend-of-a-cat]

Ohoho! I have a list (mostly consisting of headcanons). Apologies for the abundance of Fire Emblem and Persona characters.

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Toph - ATLA (aroace)

Langa - SK8 (demiromantic ace)

Miya - SK8 (aroace)

Robin - Fire Emblem Awakening (demiromantic ace)

Chrom - Fire Emblem Awakening (demiromantic demisexual)

Lucina - Fire Emblem Awakening (aroace)

Morgan (male) - Fire Emblem Awakening (aroace)

Morgan (female) - Fire Emblem Awakening (acespec)

Owain/Odin - Fire Emblem Awakening/Fates (demiromantic ace)

Ren (protag) - Persona 5 (demiromantic ace)

Yusuke - Person 5 (ace)

Futaba - Persona 5 (aspec)

Yuri - Fire Emblem: Three Houses (aro)

Tiz - Bravely Default/Second (aroace)

Makoto (protag) and Akihiko - Persona 3 (both aroace)

Yu (protag) - Persona 4 (demiromantic demisexual)

Naoto - Persona 4 (aroace)

Ike and Soren - Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn (both demiromantic ace)

Toya - Project Sekai (aroace)

Luka - Miraculous (ace)

Hiro - Big Hero 6 (aroace)

Luffy - One Piece (aroace)

Alastor - Hazbin Hotel (aroace)

Link - Legend of Zelda (aroace)

Undyne - Undertale (aroace)

Professor Layton - Professor Layton (demiromantic ace)

Emmy - Professor Layton (aroace)

The Doctor - Doctor Who (ace, aro in many reincarnations)

Chongyun - Genshin (aroace)

Shigeo (Mob) - Mob Psycho (aroace)

Frieren - Frieren (aroace)

Midori - Eizouken (aroace)

Aziraphale and Crowley - Good Omens (both aroace)

Merida - Brave (aroace)

So many characters from Dungeon Meshi

So many of my OCs

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Honestly, I see most characters as aspec by default.

I'm curious, reblog this with characters that are aro/ace or aroace to you. Let's amass a little collection. Don't be afraid to name some that people have already listed, I love to see the aroaces come together and agree that that character™ is definitely one of us. I'll start:

Alastor — Hazbin Hotel (actually canon)

Luffy — One Piece (lbr here, basically canon)

Toshinori Yagi — My Hero Academia

Sampo Koski — Honkai: Star Rail (somehow the aces in the fandom gather around this one to study him under a microscope)

Dan Heng — Honkai: Star Rail

Aventurine — Honkai: Star Rail

Alhaitham — Genshin Impact

Pantalone — Genshin Impact

Wanderer — Genshin Impact

Neuvillette — Genshin Impact

Dr. Ivo Robotnik — Sonic The Hedgehog

9th Doctor — Doctor Who

Malleus Draconia — Twisted Wonderland

Fellow Honest — Twisted Wonderland

Winter Schnee — RWBY

JB Cox — The Hardy Boys

Buddha — Record of Ragnarok

Elsa — Frozen

Isabela — Encanto

Keith Kogane — Voltron

Daisuke Kambe — The Millionaire Detective

Nozel Silva — Black Clover

Benjamin Linus — Lost