#I haven't had the spoons to go in and actually update it in a while wheeze

[shima-draws]

Where can we see all of your OCs? :0

Bam!!

Bam bam!!

BAM BAM BAM!!!

(And here's a screenshot of most of them from my AF hehe)

[adonis-koo]

wicked • 19

↳ Summary: In a desperate hope to stop war from breaking you are a serviced to wed the most vile man alive, the one who has committed atrocities and war crimes beyond comprehension, he who is responsible for the fall of many nations, the wicked prince who’s heart is made of stone. You are to marry a man who challenges every belief and moral you stand for, all while being faced in a foreign land with nobody but yourself too trust…But are you both truly that different? Or is hate not too far from love?

↳ Pairing: Jungkook/reader

↳ Genre: arranged marriage AU, enemies to lovers, it’s kind of a period AU??? Historical but also technically not? prince!AU, eventual smut

Word Count: 13k

Previous | Next | Masterlist

tags: vaginal fingering, tiddy sucking (jk is definitely a boobs man), semi public sex??, oral (f), so many petnames, dom!kook, brief masturbation (m), multiple orgasms, size kink, multiple positions, cowgirl, creampies, slight somnophilia? (they keep having sex when they're both extremely exhausted), spooning turned to doggy, some very filthy talk, corruption kink, semi degradation kink, the word seed is used once and I actually hate it, some sweet, sweet aftercare, pillow talk, grinding, cumplay, brief handjob (m), edging, cockwarming, they're so in love your honor

Note: people will be shocked at how fast this update has come out and honestly ?? so am I, but tbf half of it is smut so...iykyk ALSO if you haven't checked out the playlist for wicked, you totally should!!

After the first snowfall, winter had come rolling in with no sign of stopping and just as Jungkook had once said, Penumbra was now buried in snow. 

There was something so captivating about the snow, its crisp frosty delicate nature, how despite the sun being covered in clouds, the snow reflected off the light and made everything so much brighter. 

The land was so desolate and yet so full at the same time, it left a deep yearning in you for the warmth, but in an oddly fulfilling way, it let you rest deeper at night, taking in the great vastness of the land and its minimalism. 

The morning had been busy just as each morning before had been so, Yule was only a week away and the court had many aristocrats staying at the castle making merry. It was such a celebratory time and yet you still felt like a ghost better left in the past.

Your days were not all horrible, but the constant numbness never fully went away, at one time you had wanted to go to Yule in Kimhae to reunite with your parents, but the idea of leaving somehow filled you with as much anxiety as staying.

“Well? What’s on your mind?” Jungkook finally spoke, not looking up from his work book, making sure the last of his bill signs, contracts carefully written out and correspondence dealt with so he wouldn’t be behind on his work when you both made your return.

You had been admittedly antsy, tidying up your bedroom, packing what few trinkets you thought you might want during the nights of your journey, fiddling with your own work and where to put what.

You simply couldn’t sit still.

You didn’t reply for a long moment causing Jungkook to look up from his desk, blue eyes appearing from those dark thick locks of hair.

Sighing you shifted as you set your book against the bed, “…You’ll be mad at me.”

“Well you don’t know until you tell me.” Jungkook didn’t seem worried.

You glanced away once more as Jungkook stood up, rounding his desk to walk over to you, “…What if I was having second thoughts…About going to Kimhae?”

Jungkook curved a brow, “The morning we depart for our trip?”

“Don’t say it like that!” You pouted with an usher.

“Is it really the trip? Or is it something else?” Jungkook replied, brushing off your pout.

Your pout however only furthered because you didn’t have an answer, “I don’t know…I just…this is the first time we’ll be making a public appearance outside of Penumbra since our wedding.”

“And what about it?” Jungkook shifted, crossing his arms, still not understanding what your problem was and truth be told you wish you had a better answer for him. 

“Does that not make you anxious? It makes me incredibly anxious.” You frowned, wringing your hands together, you were anxious about everything truthfully, but the idea of making your first appearance in nearly a year, well…You didn’t know what to expect. 

But then again, Penumbra had prepared you for pretty much everything at this point, there weren't too many boxes left to check off on life events at this point. 

“Why would I be?” Jungkook cocked his head to the side, “I’ve nothing to hide nor prove to anyone…If you’re anxious simply because, then it’s understandable,” Jungkook reached out to you, brushing his palm over your cheek before it crept down to your neck, “A lot has happened, I think it’s only natural. But I also know you’ve been looking forward to seeing your parents for the majority of your stay here, it would be imprudent of me to let you cancel our trip at the last minute.” 

Your lips quivered a little, “Even if I’m terrified? What if something happens?” 

Jungkook’s lips curled into a little smile, his fingers curling around your neck, not squeezing, but in a loving hold you had grown so acquainted too, “Then I will be there to stop it from happening,” Jungkook’s forehead pressed down against yours, “I know you’ll regret not going more then if you do.” 

Your eyes fluttered shut before you leaned over to bury your face into the crook of his neck, Jungkook’s arms wrapping around you tight as you murmured, “I hope you’re right.” curling your arms around his waist as you let yourself become engulfed in his warmth and letting it swallow all of your consuming thoughts. 

It stayed like this for a long minute before Jungkook slowly pulled away, looking down at you as he spoke, “I have something I wanted to give you.”

You pulled away from him more to get a better look at him, tilting your head in curiosity, “A gift…?” 

Jungkook snorted, “Something like that. I wasn’t sure if it would be finished in time, but Jimin managed to get it to me last night.” He let go of you before walking over to the bed, leaning down as he pulled down out from underneath. 

You tilted your head at the thick cloth cover as Jungkook stood up, holding it out to you. It was long and thin but held a considerable weight to it, not too heavy, but just enough to let you know it was of incredible quality. 

He nodded at you as a gesture to pull whatever was inside out, opening the draw strings. The first thing you saw was the bright silver crest of a pommel, pulling it out further was a soft leather hand and pulling it all the way out revealed a shortsword around twenty three inches. 

You couldn’t help but let your lips part at just how beautiful it was though, the metal was reflective and the detailing along the fuller, the blade was double edged and as your eyes traveled back to the handle you noticed a sort of…language? Written down the grip.

“It’s the first of its kind,” Jungkook finally spoke, “Noxtria melted with Quicksilver for a lightweight balanced sword but sharp enough to cut through thick metal. Godslayer is it’s name.”

“Godslayer?” You looked up at him. 

“The idea behind this blade was that it would be lighter than air, but have the strength to kill a god. I couldn’t think of a better person to hold the first blade of its kind than my own wife. We’ve been working on your swordsmanship for a long time now and I think it’s time you carry your own sword.” Jungkook nodded, a sort of pride in his eyes as he watched you weigh it, giving it a whirl in your hand. 

The training you had done had definitely made you physically stronger, as while the blade had weight, it wasn’t taxing to hold, “I want you to never feel defenseless by my side, we’re partners and equals and while I hope it never again comes to you needing to use this, I want you to have it if the occasion were to ever arise.” 

You were speechless as you stared at the blade, a reflection of yourself in its metal staring back at you, lowering it you whispered, “Thank you, Jungkook.” 

A small smile pulled on his lips, “Anything for my little sun.” His fingers traced down your cheek, “The case for it is still in the cover, here I’ll help you with putting on the harness.” 

Jungkook took the cloth covering off it to reveal the heavy black sheath and the harness that it attached too, Jungkook had carefully pulled it around your hip, adjusting it until it was snug against your skin, it felt weird having such a thing attached to your body now. 

But there was something oddly…safe about it, as Jungkook said, this was a safety measure and it made you feel as such, you could only hope you would never have to take another soul but….Your fingers unconsciously lifted, rubbing over the spot on your chest, now scarred from where Di Jin had attempted to kill you. 

Jungkook as if knowing what you were thinking tenderly grabbed your hand pulling it away, “It’s difficult to see it now but…” He paused for a moment as if gathering his thoughts, “I think…if I could go back and change things I would, in a heartbeat. But I do think it happened for a reason.” 

Your lips trembled softly, “How could killing someone happen for a reason?” 

“It made a spectacle for one,” Jungkook replied, a certain soft note in his voice was his hand found its way back to your neck, “Those who doubted your ability to hold your own in the court will never question it again. Your words have always had bite, but now you have proof behind them.”

You shook your head, “I don’t see eye to eye with you on this Jungkook.”

“I know you don’t,” Jungkook replied, his thumb soothingly rubbing into your skin, “And I wouldn’t expect anything less, but your respect in the court is much more now than it ever was before. Not only this but…”

Jungkook paused for a long moment gathering his thoughts, “Knowing you have the capability to defend yourself…there will be times when we will have no choice but to be apart,” He sighed, “I will eventually have to lead projects that take me away from Penumbra, knowing you have the means to take care of yourself puts me at ease.” 

“I don’t want you to be apart from me.” You mumbled, anxiety at the thought immediately quelling.

Jungkook let out an amused breath, “That’s not something to worry about now, one thing at a time. If you have the rest of your things settled, we should head down, the sooner we get on the road the sooner we’ll arrive, and the sooner you’ll feel better.” 

“...I suppose.” You mumbled, but Jungkook was not feeding into your pouty expression, no matter how much it was his weakness, he grabbed your thick cloak which had laid abandoned on the bed, wrapping it over your shoulders as he buckled it up, grabbing his own to carry as he held out his arm for you. 

Letting him guide you down you ignored the stares of a group of court ladies staring you down, perhaps in wariness, perhaps because the court had easily taken notice of how close you and Jungkook had become in the last few weeks. 

The consummation of your marriage hadn’t actually changed anything, but Jungkook’s confession of love had really done a number on you both, and every time those sweet words left his lips you had the intention of saying it back. 

And yet every time it felt like the word got stuck in your throat unable to escape, perhaps it was because you were still scared, still in disbelief that Jungkook loved you, but all of his actions, his words, even the way he looked at you, it all screamed love.

Being met with snow on the ground, crunching beneath your feet you let out a breath that you could visibly see, a sensation you still weren’t quite used to, it was freezing cold and the journey would be very long. 

Jungkook had spared no expense to keep you wrapped in very thick layers in hopes that it would keep you warm, but it seemed no matter the amount, you were always cold. 

“Wheein is doing her last rounds of gathering items, she should be out shortly,” Taehyun called out, finishing fixing up your horse’s saddle, Jungkook walked up with you before helping you on and making sure you were situated before saddling his own horse. 

“Snow isn’t too deep yet, we should make a timely arrival,” Yoongi called out, trotting on his own horse up the path ahead before stopping next to Jungkook, “If we make it with not much snowfall, it should only take four days.” 

Your lip curled a little at the estimate, you knew Kimhae was further away then Eunoia, but you had been used to only a day’s travel when you were in Eunoia, they lived further West then Eunoia and a little further south. 

The climate in the West however made it incredibly dry, the further you traveled the less snow there would be, hopefully at least. 

Once Wheein had finished her last round of gathering any last minute packing she had come out with a few guards help and finished loading the pack horses and then mounted her own. It wasn't too big of an entourage of servants, but you had two of Yoongi’s men, himself and of course your two personal servants to attend you both. 

You were nervous for many reasons, showing your face to the outside world, you weren’t sure what reaction you would gain, knowing how the truth of Penumbra had been twisted beyond recognition, you could distinctly remember all the dread you had for two years of being engaged to Jungkook. 

Words that he had abused women in many ways, that he starved all of his servants and that he’d beat them if they disobeyed, rumors swirling that he already had multiple wives and you would be another trophy in his collection, some rumors even going as far as to say he had his dead enemies taken to the castle so he could bath in their blood. 

The list went on and on and every single one was just a rumor, nothing more than foolish lies spread to cause more fear, Jungkook was not a single thing he had ever been stated as, wicked least of all. 

But you were now nervous because you had seen both sides, the truth and lies both, and you couldn’t help but wonder what rumors had escaped Penumbra about you? Dread filled you once more, what twisted way could the world turn your murder of Di Jin even worse? 

That you feasted on his corpse? 

You could briefly taste the raw iron in your mouth that had you holding back a gag, Jungkook’s sharp gaze that had been looking ahead immediately on you, “What’s wrong?” 

You held your hand on your mouth trying desperately hard to not let the memory suck you back into the past, flashes of blood in your mind, cartilage mixed with skin, the raw smell of blood, “Water, can I have some water.” You forced the words out. 

Jungkook wordlessly pulled the water satchel from the side of his saddle, handing it to you, “You’re thinking.” 

You took a large swallow and slowly the faint taste faded back into the nothingness it came from, you shook your head handing it back to him, “I’m trying not too.” 

“You’re not doing a good job of it,” Jungkook replied, making you give him a look, he laughed a little though you spot the concern in his eyes, “Would talking about it make you feel better?” 

You sighed as you shook your head, “I think i’d rather talk about something else,” Lingering on your thoughts would only serve to possibly bring memories even more vivid back, “You’ve been to Kimhae right Jungkook?” 

Jungkook guided his horse a little closer to yours so you’d be able to converse better, “It’s been a long time. We visited when they hosted the War Council. I was…maybe seventeen? This was just in the beginning of negotiating,” Jungkook hummed as he thought about it, “Kimhae was dull in my opinion, they lacked conviction and were very obvious in the fact that they didn’t respect Penumbra or the Jeon name.” 

You listened to him before you let out a laugh gaining his attention, “I remember this quite well, I was visiting Seokjin at the time. I remember spotting you and your father arriving out my window but you were too far for me to get a good look. I remember him complaining though. Telling me you had this haughty look about you, acting as if you were better than him.”

Jungkook scoffed, “I was better than him. I am still better than him. If you were present at the time though…Why had I not seen you?” He looked a bit confused, as obviously women weren’t allowed in the War Room but that didn’t mean they were prohibited anywhere else, he had stayed a full fortnite at Kimhae that trip and not once had he seen you. 

“I made myself unknown on purpose,” You replied, a small frown tugging on your lips, “It was at Seokjin’s insistence of course, he didn’t want you near me with the potential to ‘corrupt me’, as he said.” 

“Corrupt you?” Jungkook scoffed, almost offended, “If we had met properly before our engagement, I feel we could’ve been cordial. Come to think of it I do remember talk of the Eunoian Princess, being in court,” Jungkook’s gaze became pensive as his brows pinched together, “I remember Seokjin gloating about how the fairest princess warmed his bed at night and that he loved nothing more then his name screamed in pleasure.”

You blinked multiple times before your gaze shot to Jungkook, “This was in reference to me?” 

You had known Jungkook long enough now to tell he was absolutely wrought with anger at just the idea, his knuckles tight on the reigns of his horse as he stared ahead, “Mhm. I once told you that we saw him differently, that’s one of the many reasons why. He loved to peacock around gloating about sleeping with you.” 

“Sleeping with me!?” Your mouth parted in somewhat disbelief, “We…” You couldn’t help but let out a scoffed laugh, he had been pressuring you for some time, but you never realized just how desperate he was to go out of his way to lie to other men that you both had slept with one another in such a way. 

And then the embarrassment began to flood in, was this why so many men in his court assumed you were loose, or that you were an easy woman? 

“Well I can promise you he was nothing more than a liar,” You let out another laugh as you shook your head, “Screaming his name in pleasure…The only name that was ushered was my own and even then that was on a lucky day.”

“Your name!?” Jungkook sucked in a harsh breath of air. 

You paused, suddenly realizing what you had just said, and then looking around, there was a good distance between Yoongi up ahead with his fellow guards and Wheein and Taehyun were conversing further behind, Fenrir having walked alongside you awhile now. 

“So Seokjin has gotten to experience that sort of intimacy from you.” Jungkook pressed his tongue into his cheek as if this was the worst news he could ever receive. 

“It’s not…” You sighed, trying to find the right words, you had never really planned on mentioning what little intimacy you shared with Seokjin, as it wasn’t relevant to your current relationship and truthfully, there wasn’t much to talk about, “I’ve…When we first started to explore an intimate relationship together, you remember me being frightened by it, yes?” 

Jungkook tilted his head, a little confused as to where this was going but nodded regardless. 

“The same could be said for back then- especially back then,” You explained as you lowered your voice a little, “I was nervous to lose my virginity, Seokjin already didn’t like my traditional Eunoian attire, but even moreso it had him acting out, trying to pressure me into giving myself to him. But I could never commit to it. The idea of him leaving me after I gave it too him made me too anxious…And..”

You sighed as you glanced down at the snowy earth, “I hated feeling like nothing more than a sexual fantasy for him. Looking back, it feels as if that was all I ever provided, some sort of exotic fantasy that he could escape to in Eunoia, never truly a person, a soul, just something to make him aroused and fulfilled. And so to keep him satiated but also withhold my own boundary, I offered to pleasure him,” You pressed your lips together, your nose wrinkling, “It wasn’t very often, nor was it very pleasant but well…It kept things from escalating beyond my control.”

Jungkook’s jaw only clenched, “How different things would’ve been if we had met that week. Perhaps you could have been saved from all that trouble.” 

“Things happened the way they did though,” You offered a weak smile, “It’s not something I ever think about anymore, after all, it feels so long ago despite being so recent. And I’m very content now.” 

You reached out to grab his hand as your smile brightened, “I’m happy I saved myself for the right person. I couldn’t imagine it with anyone else.” 

This seemed to soothe Jungkook in the right way, “Well when you say it like that it makes me think you’ll want extra help to keep warm tonight.” 

“Jungkook!” You smacked his shoulder, “What an indecent thing to suggest, in a tent? In the middle of a journey?” 

Jungkook chuckled as he gripped his reins in contentment, “No better time than the present princess.” 

You only shook your head, the hours seemed to go quick as you and Jungkook had talked about this and that, and then a content silence took over as the sky darkened and Yoongi had begun to look for a suitable spot to make camp.

They had managed to find a spot off road closer to the woods where the cold wind was blocked and snow wasn’t as deep, clearing off the snow before getting fresh cut wood to get a fire going, setting up tents didn’t take very long. 

Soon dinner was cooking over the fire, granted you had already eaten an abundant mix of packed cabbage and vegetables tossed together and despite being tired and hungry Jungkook was still easily fending you off as metal clashed together. 

“You’ll need to try harder than that princess,” Jungkook whirled the sword in his hand as you huffed a breath, stretching your aching arms, “If you were to fight an opponent far more skilled than you in battle what would your tactic be?” 

“Run?” You raised your brows, Jungkook seemed to enjoy asking hypothetical questions that you were certain would never happen. 

“Okay but in this scenario you do, what would you do?” He pressed, giving you a moment to regather yourself. 

“Well it depends, if they’re aggressive, which I assume they would be, it’s not difficult to size my lack of experience up in comparison to someone like you, I’d have no choice but to defend until they burn down their energy and then once they tire out I’d make a chance to strike.” You sighed as you lifted your sword back up. 

“Yes that would be the logical way to go about it,” Jungkook hummed, “Contextually speaking. But there are other ways, you can use your environment to assist you, you could also have another ally help or use your size to your advantage. Being smaller means being quicker. Again.” 

You both tapped swords before sparring once more, Jungkook easily more aggressive this time causing you to back step until you back stepped right into the deeper snow causing you to yelp, whining out at the freezing damp sensation seeping through your dress into your skin. 

“That’s not what I meant when I said use the environment.” Jungkook sighed as he rested the flat of the blade on his shoulder. 

You managed to step out back onto the shallow end as you whined out, “I am perfectly aware of what you meant! I’m trying! I just can’t seem to get it…” You let out a defeated sigh as a tremor jolted through your body at catching the cold nip of breeze. 

Jungkook only shook his head somewhat amused, “How about we rest for the evening and get you close to the fire once more.” His hand curling around your waist as you both walked back to camp, “You shouldn’t have such high expectations of yourself, I’ve been training since I was a child, you’ve come a long way for only training the last six months.”

“Sparring is also different then a real duel or battle,” Yoongi spoke, as he had been watching you both the last hour in amusement, “If you’re already doing this good in a spar, you’ll be able to hold your own perfectly fine in either.” 

“This is also true,” Jungkook yawned as he sat down on the large mat, offering a hand to you to help you down, “The adrenaline is different, when it comes to life or death, you fight with more than your all, more than you could ever muster for a spar, even a duel.” 

“I just hope it never comes to that.” You sighed with a shiver, scooting closer to the warmth of the fire. 

“What matters is that you’ll be ready m’lady.” Wheein offered a kind smile as she continued, “And I agree with his Highness, you’ve improved significantly compared to when you first started, it’s something to take pride in, you’ll only improve with time.” 

“The chances are slim but it never hurts to be prepared,” Yoongi chimed in once more, “Dinner is ready.”

The rest of the evening had passed with laughter and fellowship that you found yourself truly enjoying, and at some point you had tried to remember when the last time you had felt this at ease, this…at home? 

Even in Eunoia, tragedy had always surrounded you during your youth, uncertainty of the war and the future as a growing lady and plunged into icy fear as a young woman, you wanted to say you had other moments of relaxation. 

But you couldn’t think of a single time, except for this moment, you found yourself curling up against Jungkook, yawning as your eyes began to droop and your head resting on his shoulder.

When your eyes opened once more, you were uncertain of how much time had passed other than the indication that everyone else had departed to their tents. 

Jungkook had been leaning on one hand, the other wrapped around you as he had stared thoughtfully in the fire before realizing you had awoke, “Are you ready to depart for bed?” 

It was a quiet usher that made you nod with another yawn, letting him help you up as you walked over to your shared tent.

Due to the few people in your party, a circle of tents was formed, yours however just a little closer to the fire upon your request and how could you be blamed on a frigid night such as this? Even Fenrir was curled up right next to the fire, paying you both no mind as he continued to rest. 

The tent wasn’t extremely spacious, but it gave you enough room to get what you needed done without being on top of one another, “Let’s get you out of this.” 

“And into what?” You were more awake now than before, “Did Wheein leave me something?” 

Jungkook looked down at you, a sort of boyish look on his face making you pinch him, “Don’t look at me like that,” He chuckled softly grabbing your hand away from his bicep, “We have plenty of furs, and i’ll let you sleep on the fireside, it’s making me hot being that close anyways.” 

“It’s too cold!” You whined out quietly. 

“You really want to sleep like that?” Jungkook was already stripping himself, “I’m burning up personally.” 

Your lips parted multiple times at the sight of his chiseled muscles, biceps flexing as he pulled down his pants revealing the taunt thick muscles of his thighs, even more notably his undergarments.

“Come,” Jungkook had a small smirk on his face as if knowing your eyes roamed his body despite how hard you were trying to be discreet, “Let me undress you.” 

You let out a discontented noise but it was difficult to say no when he looked like this and he was looking at you like that, shuffling over you sat on your knees in front of him, Jungkook leaned forward peeling off each layer with a sort of lethargy, as if in no big hurry. 

Despite the chilled air you could still feel the lick of fire through the thick cloth tent, dropping the last layer down your shoulders you shuddered, a sort of shyness creeping over you as you felt your nipples immediately hardening at being exposed.

Jungkook helped you shuffled out of the last layer, in nothing more than your panties now, “It’s freezing,” You whispered, trying hard to not let yourself feel self conscious at being close to naked in the tinted firelight that your husband could easily see, “If you’re content let’s go to bed.” 

“Ah,” Jungkook immediately stopped you, eyes staying on your soft perked tits, “The cold will help keep you healthy.” He had a stupid boyish look on his face again as he leaned in, warm breath fanning along your cheek before he leaned down unable to resist parting his lips to take your left tit into his mouth. 

You let out a breath louder than you intended, but the you couldn’t help it, the sharp contrast between the cold air and his warm wet tongue had your body flush with arousal, and clearly you weren’t the only one as your eyes dropped down, a solid print formed showing your husband was also feeling the same. 

“Jungkook, it's too cold for this…!” You whined out quietly despite your legs immediately parting for him to sit between as he moaned against your breast, other hand squeezing your left tit as he pinched your hardened bud between his thumb and finger while suckling on the other.

You forced the moan back into your throat.

Jungkook finally released your bud from his lips, looking up at you with dark eyes full of arousal, “Well then we’ll just have to warm you up then won’t we, my goddess?” His hand slithering down your waist as he parted his lips once more your left tit, sucking harshly making you jolt. 

His fingers pushing beneath your panties as his fingers dragging against your puffy slit as you let out a breathy noise legs parting further for him as you leaned back on your hands, hips shifting to give him more access to your cunt. 

Jungkook was delighted by the invitation you could tell by the way he harshly sucked your bud, middle finger suddenly pushing inside you, sliding in with a slight pinch of discomfort that didn’t last long as he pushed all the way until his knuckle met with your body. 

“We can’t be too loud now,” Jungkook’s lips curled into a smirk, “So you’ll need to be a good girl for me and be quiet.” 

You bit down on your lip as he pushed his index finger inside you the pinched discomfort returning the sensation of his fingers pushing in and out of your little hole had you relaxing into his touch with a soft moan, walls squeezing around his fingers with each thrust. 

“Mmm that’s a good girl,” Jungkook grinned, pupils dilated in lust as he buried his fingers back inside your cunt, feeling your little walls clench around him once more before he brushed his thumb over your clit a higher pitch whine escaping you, “Ah, ah, remember,” Jungkook looked amused, “You need to be quiet if you want to cum all over my fingers princess.” 

“Kook,” You whispered, eyes closed tight at the feeling of his thumb teasingly brushing over your clit, fingers buried deep inside you as your walls tightened around his digits, “Please…!” 

The cold air was wrapping around your body, but the sharp contracts of his warm tongue and fingers burying inside you.

Jungkook laid you back against the fur before pulling your panties off, “You’ll get your pleasure, but you need to be a good girl and wait,” His voice was deep and soft taking off his own underwear to reveal his heavy, thick cock fully hardened, he parted your legs as you tensed cold air invading your cunt as he pushed his fingers back inside you, your clit extra sensitive from the cold with each little brush of his thumb, every little tease sent a sharp jolt of pleasure in your body.

Wet sticky arousal dripping from you little hole as you squeezed around his fingers, wiggling your hips a little with a whine, “Kook, need more..” You whispered out, not liking this slow teasing game. 

“Patience,” Jungkook replied, fingers pulling out of you only a little just to thrust them back in, he did this once more, even rougher, his pace was just right, hitting that sweet little spot inside your body that your walls clenching each time as your legs twitched. 

Jungkook’s free hand rubbed through your puffy wet slit before he gripped the base of his cock, a hissed grunt escaping him as he slowly pumped his base, watching the lewd act immediately made a soft moan escape you, just the idea of his fat cock inside you had you clenching hard around him as he began arithmetically thrusting his fingers into that sweet little spot.

“Fuuck you like watching me stroke my fat cock for you my love?” Jungkook let out a wicked look, his hand running all the way up his cock, thumb messily smearing his precum over his fat bulbous head before running it back down meanwhile his other hand began forcefully shoving inside your little hole greedily.

His thumb circling your clit as pleasure began shooting through your body, your eyes never leaving his cock that he squeezed tightly in his hand pumping it eagerly as his eyes flickered between your cunt sucking in his fingers needily and your face, entranced by his movements.

It made his shaft throb so bad in pleasure it hurt, he threw his head back with a low moan hips lifting as he thrusted his cock into his fist, feeling your little hole squeeze so tight around him it was difficult to move his fingers.

Jungkook locked eyes with you, that wicked look on his face, “What do you think that little ex lover of yours would say if he could see you right now?” 

“Mmm! Right there…!” You whimpered out, struggling to keep your voice quiet as your legs turned limp at how rough he was thrusting his fingers into that sweet little spongy spot inside you, “Kook, right there…!” 

Jungkook lifted his hips once more, fucking his fist at the way your legs lifted up, bringing them to your chest to obediently spread your cunt further for him, “Would he say I’m corrupting you right now?” 

You had to bite down on your hand to fight back the whines and moans trying to escape you, “Please…! Please.” You kept muttering it, body twisting and building so fast your mind was completely blank aside from the filth Jungkook was whispering to you.

“That I’m tainting his pretty little Eunoian princess, filling her cunt up until she’s completely fucked out cumming all over my fingers?” Jungkook harshly squeezed the base of his cock, keeping his knuckles buried in your cunt as he rapidly hit into your g-spot. 

Jungkook wanted to laugh at the strangled high pitched moan escaping you as you desperately tried to keep it quiet, feeling your warm little walls wrap tight around his fingers as you came, arms wrapping around your face to try and keep your cries of pleasure to yourself.

Jungkook eased you through your orgasm before pulling his fingers out of you, low breathes escaping you as your chest lifted and dropped before letting your arms drop from your face to the crude sight of Jungkook’s fingers in his mouth, eyes closed with soft moan as he licked your cum off them.

“This is the best way I could have ever relaxed.” Jungkook pulled his fingers from his mouth with a content look as he laid down next to you, your eyes however still on his hardened cock. 

“But you…” You frowned. 

Jungkook raised his brows before his eyes dropped to his cock before shrugging, “I don’t cum easily, a good and bad thing I guess. C’mere love.” 

“How do you want me?” Jungkook’s eyes snapped back open as they met yours, as if trying to figure out if he heard you correct, “I want you to feel good too, how do you want me?” 

Jungkook moaned softly closing his eyes once more, unable to look at those cute, eager little eyes of yours, basically asking to be filled up by him. 

“Ride my cock.” Jungkook replied, admittedly getting difficult to keep his eyes open, but he’d rather kill himself then miss the opportunity to cum inside your pretty, puffy little cunt. 

You knew what he meant, you had gathered as much the last time but you just… you awkwardly straddled him, his hands on your hips to help guide you, this wouldn’t be as difficult as last time right?

Grabbing his cock in your hand you heard a gritted hiss through his teeth, rubbing his bulbous head through your wet folds before lining him against your entrance, unlike last time you sank onto it.

Biting your lip as you squeezed your eyes shut, rather than a pinch the discomfort was still moderate, but not nearly as much as the first time. 

“Mmm fuck,” Jungkook moaned softly, still unable to process that he was getting to feel your warm little walls wrapping around his thick head, “Does it still hurt?” 

His hands soothingly rubbed up to your waist before back to your hips, “A little,” You whispered, settling your hands on his chest, “I still don’t know what I’m doing.” 

Jungkook opened his lidded eyes, trying his damn hardest to not fall asleep right now, “It’s not difficult, just a matter of practice. Sink a little lower…” Jungkook bit his lower lip a little at watching his cock sink further inside your warm cunt, “Now lift your hips like this.” 

You let his hands guide your movements as you let out a soft whine, the pain subsiding as his cock began to slide inside you with ease, stuffing you so full it was difficult to believe you had something this big inside you. 

Just the feeling of his heavy cock burying inside your cunt made your walls wrap tighter around him, slowly bouncing on his cock as Jungkook’s hands settled on your hips, “Fuck yeah love, just like that, riding my fuckin’ cock like you were made for it.” 

His words of pleasure made you bounce a little faster, taking him a little deeper each time before his hands tightened on your hips, suddenly grabbing you and pulling you all the way down, you let out a tiny whine at being so full of cock with no warning, walls rapidly clenching around him as you moaned.

Jungkook’s eyes were closed as he let out a breathy deep moan, “Could fall asleep like this every night, use my pretty little wife as my personal cock warmer, mmm keep squeezing around me like that.” He had a sleepy smirk on his face as his hands wrapped around your ass, urging you to start riding him once more. 

You quickly found you loved being full of cock though, cunt split open by something so thick and heavy, excitement trilled through your body making your walls wrap tight around him as you began bouncing on his cock.

Letting out quiet moans at the feeling of his shaft hitting all the right places inside you, “Mmm yeah, oh…fuck…” You whined out softly, sitting up right as you bounced all the down his cock as you grinded against his pubic bone.

Jungkook forced his tired eyes open to the amazing sight of you, his pretty wife completely naked bouncing on his cock, tits bouncing and face fucked out, clearly pleasuring yourself now, “Make me cum,” He moaned out softly, “Let me fill that pretty little cunt up.” 

You kept trying to bite back your whines as your hips became more messy in bouncing, uneven and unsteady as pleasure quickly built inside you, sinking back on his cock as your walls tightened, moaning just a hair louder as you creamed all over his cock. 

Jungkook was tired, sleep near taking him the same way you took his cum, letting it shoot deep inside you as you swiveled your hips, taking every lost drop he’d give as quiet breathes filled the tent, your own eyes closed with that same unmistakable tiredness. 

Jungkook let out a tired smile, “What a good girl.” He pulled you onto his chest, shifting you both to be buried beneath the blankets and furs, being skin to skin made you realize just how cold you had been. 

Jungkook’s skin was like fire, hot to the touch and your own personal little fire, curling up against him, your eyes immediately fell heavy, sleep had never felt so peaceful as being skin to skin with your husband.

The journey to Kimhae had been rather uneventful and what few encounters you had with wolves and even a bear, Fenrir had easily warded them off, your baby having grown so much in the last months now standing just a little taller than your horse.

Jungkook had been up ahead chatting with Yoongi for awhile now, something regarding plans on resuming the Eastern movement when you returned from Yule.

Wheein had been riding by you for awhile now in a comfortable silence aside from a few comments to Fenrir who had been running ahead in the snow and finding random branches to be thrown, the only problem being they were too heavy for you to toss. 

“Something on your mind Wheein?” You finally asked, having noticed a faraway look in her eyes for a good while now. 

Her eyes met yours before she gave a small, weak smile, “Nothing incredibly important I just…” She faltered a little, “I know the past cannot be changed but, I can’t help but feel like so many events could have been avoided if it weren’t for me.” 

You straightened up, frowning immediately at her words, “What would make you say that?”

Wheein hesitated to speak, “...What happened, with my execution, you…” It looked as if it was physically difficult to attempt to finish her sentence, “I know how important keeping your culture intact is for you. You’ve done nothing but try to become a Penumbrian Princess, and for you to be put in a position where you had to compromise your own personal oath and belief…” Wheein let out a shaky breath, visibly puffing in the cold air as her eyes looked watery, “I feel as though I haven’t given you a proper apology M’lady.” 

Your heart felt like it was twisted, “You have nothing to apologize over Wheein. I am still mourning many things but I…I don’t regret what I did. I said it once and I will say it again, I was willing to do anything to get you back. Di Jin was the assassin who attempted to kill me, which started this entire mess…I don’t know how much you’ve heard about the Estate…”

Wheein’s lips stayed in a frown, cheeks flush and rosy from the cold wind as she adjusted her shawl, shaking her head, “Only whispers of rumors to what happened, and my own assumptions when you intervened on my execution.” 

You let out a shaky sigh, trying your best to detach yourself from the memory as you recalled the events that lead up to that fateful night, “They had lured Yoongi away and I foolishly sent him in good faith that nothing would happen but…Di Jin revealed himself that night revealing that he had come to finish what he started. He almost did,” Your hand trembled as you pressed it against your chest, “Then he got closer to me, trying to kiss my neck and…I don’t know.”

And that was the funniest part, you still had vivid clips of what happened in your head, but it was all so fast, so gorey, your mind had blotted out a lot of it, “One minute he was on top of me, and the next minute I was covered in blood.” 

There it was, that distinct iron on your tongue, it made you sick to your stomach, “And I didn’t stop after he was dead,” Your lips trembled as you whispered, “That’s the part that scares me the most. He was dead and I kept going, I...it was like I was possessed, unable to stop. I felt…” It felt like bile was beginning to rise in your throat as you swallowed it back, “Good. Powerful, invincible in that moment, feeling his flesh in my mouth, the taste of his blood on my tongue-” 

Your hand suddenly grabbed your lips, trying to swallow back the bile which risen much faster, immediately grabbing the water satchel that hung off the saddle of your horse, taking a long drink from it to try and wash what you had just admitted away. 

It had been plaguing the back of your mind every moment it was quiet, the fact that something inside you liked it, even enjoyed the depraved act, showing someone who had disrespected you and your heritage, making a mockery of it for so long, a little devil inside you secretly wishing you had finished what you had started, to devoured him the way your ancestors would. 

Even now a little voice in the back of your head was thrilled by it, it never ceased to make you sick, Weak in the stomach with shame every time it crossed your mind, it felt so heretical to think let alone voice aloud, the extent of how much a secret part of you enjoyed it. 

“I am so sorry Princess,” Wheein whispered, clearly hurting for you as she held back her tears, inhaling sharply, “I still can’t believe what’s happened. I’m sure being away from Penumbra will be a good break for all of us.” 

“If I had just…” You had to stop yourself from saying what you wanted, you had the ability to heal Wheein’s mother, maybe if you had listened to Baba Enàir more carefully, had been more dedicated to your studies as a child…perhaps this whole thing could have been prevented if you had been the one to heal Wheein’s mother, disputing any claims, “I’ll never send you away so often like that without company, I never want to put you in such a compromising position Wheein and for that I am sorry.”

“We all have our grievances about what happened.” Wheein smiled sadly, “But what counts is that we are both alive and well, but…Something else does plague me.” 

You tilted your head, patiently waiting for her to continue as she gathered her thoughts, the wind blowing her black locks of hair back as she squinted her eyes, “We still never caught who sent the assassin. What if this happens once more?” 

You frowned, you had thought this as well, “Something tells me, whoever did this will try a different tactic next. We must remain vigilant, perhaps moreso in Penumbra then even in Kimhae.” You nodded in thought, “I do agree though, this will be good for all of us.” 

This had become routine at night it seemed, waiting for everyone else to depart to bed before being guided back yourself, undressed by your husband’s large, warm hands, and then taken whatever way he wanted, with his hands, his tongue, his cock, you weren’t picky. 

You however were starting to become used to the sensation of his cock spliting you open, his cum dripping down your thighs, an unfamiliar soreness between your legs that had a sweet ache that made you crave more. 

You had never understood the idea of physical intimacy in the past, it always made your skin crawl at the idea, but then again, you never had a partner you felt you could trust like this.

More than anything, you loved being close to him like this, loved that you could be so intimate with the person you trusted more than anyone, his arms wrapped around you, laying slightly on top of your back, keeping you warm just as he promised every night. 

It was odd, the comfort it brought feeling his warm cum dribbling from your little hole as you yawned, eyes closing as you dozed off in his arms. 

It was still late into the night when you awoke to his lips pressing on your neck, moaning softly as his hips rutted into you, cock hardened once more much to your sleepy surprise, “Mm, need you my love.” His voice was much deeper, telling you he was also half asleep, “Dreamt of your pretty little cunt, letting me fill it up.”

“Mmm Kook.” You mumbled out, eyes closing as you felt your leg being propped further up to give him better access to your little entrance, his arms tightened around your waist as he managed to line his cock up before pushing it in. 

A soft sleepy moan escaped you, an entirely new position you were acquainted with but something about it made you feel so full, his cock pushing all the way inside you until his hips were flush with yours. 

Each lazy thrust of his hips had soft noises escaping you, your eyes shutting in tired bliss at his cock pushing past your little walls, filling you to the brim each time, throbbing as the head of his cock kept hitting that spongy little spot. 

Jungkook moaned as he buried his cock inside you once more, his movements having paused forcing your eyes back open, was he asleep? Your walls suddenly squeezed around his cock at being so split open by him.

This elicited a moan from his lips that sounded like pure sex, “Your cunt is heaven,” He mumbled in your skin, “Could keep my cock buried inside you forever.”

Not moving was stirring you further, making you more awake as you whined, “Jungkook, move…!” You wiggled your hips a little earning a small thrust from him.

“Think I’ll asleep like this,” He moaned once more into your skin, “Like the way your cunt wraps around me like this when I’m splitting your cunt open.” 

Jungkook moaned at feeling your cunt squeeze around him once more at his words, just like he had hoped, “Just go back to sleep my love,” He mumbled in your ear, hand pulling around to cup your tit in his hand as he massaged it making you whine in frustration as your hips began to pull and lift, sliding his cock in and out of your cunt just a little. 

“Mmm fuuck, sweetheart go to sleep.” Jungkook’s voice was a pitch higher than before, his free hand almost guiding your hips though as you fucked back against him, and your eyes were closed but sleep was not on your mind. 

Your lips parted with a soft whine at the new sensation this position gave you with him behind, his cock slide inside you just the right way brushing that sweet little spot with each bounce of your hips, it had you rapidly clenching around his cock. 

Muffling your moans into your blankets as you pushed all the way back against him wiggling your hips as pleasure throbbed throughout your cunt, feeling arousal dripping from your hole as his cock slid back inside you with ease as you let out a pathetic whine, walls wrapping harsh around him but it just wasn’t quite enough to get yourself to orgasm. 

Jungkook let out a sleepy chuckle, “Working yourself up are you?” 

It wasn’t fair…! He woke you up and you were somehow the one falling apart on his cock desperate to cum, “Koo, please.” You whimpered out quietly, shifting yourself a little to be better able to lift your hips up to his, giving his cock better access to slid in and out of your little hole with ease. 

“Mmm shit, your acting like a bitch in heat,” He moaned softly, eyes dropping to your cunt that kept backing into his cock, “You want to be fucked?” He whispered deviously in your ear. 

And Jungkook knew you did, could feel the way your walls wrapped so tight around his throbbing cock, wanting so desperately to reach your climax. 

“Jungkook…” You whispered urgently. 

“Say it.”

You let out a frustrated noise, pausing your movement but Jungkook wasn’t having it, his hand wrapping around your neck as he gave it a harsh squeeze, letting out a small gag as his voice deepened in your ear, “Beg for it little princess, beg for me. Beg for my cock.” 

Jungkook suddenly thrusted inside you, harshly making your body jolt as you whined out, shaking your head, this only made him thrust rougher causing you to squeeze around him in excitement, “Mmm like this, feels…! Good.” You whimpered out quietly, your body twitching as pleasure blossomed in your cunt, you were so close…!

Jungkook buried back inside you, stopping once more causing a louder fussy whine to escape you, his hand squeezing around your neck once more, “If you like this then you’ll love what’s next. But you need to tell me, c’mon,” His hips lazily swiveled before giving short thrusts, edging your body as your hands curled into fists, “Tell me you want my cock, that you want your pretty little cunt destroyed by me, that you want to be filled with my cum.”

You could feel saliva dripping from the corner of your mouth, his cock teasing your body with such short movements it had you whimpering, “Koo’, fuck me, please…! Need you’, need your cock, anything…!” 

Jungkook moaned as your quiet frantic plea’s as he suddenly pulled out of you, a sharp whine escaping you as he swatted your ass to be quiet, manhandling you onto you stomach as he kneeled between your legs you felt confused before your hips were lewdly lifted, presenting your cunt to him. 

You didn’t have any time to adjust or even think before his cock pushed back inside you, a moan much louder than you meant for it to escape your lips at an entirely new, better sensation, every movement of his cock had you cunt squeezing in pleasure. 

“Mmm yeah, you like being made to take it from behind?” Jungkook moaned, keeping your hips up as he thrusted inside your little entrance, watching it split open for his cock before greedily sucking it in, “Maybe this is how your little dryad kin had children? Fucking like animals?” He whispered out, hearing a gurgled whine from you only made his thrusts that much more forceful, the sound of his balls smacking into your skin music to his ears, “Being made into nothing more than a bitch desperate for cock.” 

The side of your face was planted into the ground, eyes shut in pleasure at just how good it felt, his cock hitting every little sensitive spot inside you, his demeaning words that would’ve sent flames of angry through your body once upon a time only filled you with excitement, enjoying how he manhandled you how rough he was starting to thrust, no regard for whether your cunt could take it or not. 

Your mind was filled with all sorts of unholy things, not realizing how much you were beginning to moan, enjoying the way he had a hand pressed into your back forcing you down on the ground, his balls smacking your skin and his cock pushing past your tight walls. 

“Koo’...! ‘m gonna..! Mmm!” Your moans were gurgled, desperate, cunt rapidly squeezing around his cock, a feeling he had quickly grown to love as you crumbled beneath him, at his mercy as he roughly thrusted, burying his cock deep inside you as he quickly leaned over you, chest flush with your back as his hips became faster.

Just as you let out the whinest, loudest cry his hand covered your mouth to muffle it, tears began to build in your eyes at how powerful the pleasure was building in your body, your legs uselessly twitching and your body convulsing.

But it was all useless as his cock kept sliding in and out of your small hole, “Go on sweetheart, mm know how bad you wanna cum. I see those pathetic little tears. Cum sweetheart, cream all over my fat cock, make it nice and messy for me.” 

Your body was being jolted with every thrust of his hips, your clit aching to be touched as your cunt was full of his thick shaft, his dirty words whispered in your ear making you throw a whiny pathetic fit as your walls squeezed even tighter around him, so desperate to be obedient. 

“C’mon princess,” Jungkook moaned tantalizingly in your ear, his hips pounding into you with nice lengthy thrusts, wet lewd sounds coming from how soaked you were, “Can feel it, feel how bad that pretty little cunt wants to cum, squeezing around me so tight, fuuck, that’s it, c’mon.” Jungkook wasn’t intentionally edging you but god did it feel good, you were moaning and crying into his hand, tears slowly beginning to trickle down your face at how good you felt. 

Not a single thought in your head other than his cock stuffing you full, purposely dragging into the little spongy spot each time just edging you a little closer each time to your release.

“Does your little pussy feel good?” He teased you, a wicked grin on his face as his hips pushed fully inside you, giving short thrusts to keep you as full of cock as possible, “You like presenting this little hole to me? Letting me fuck my seed deep inside, my pretty wife who swore she’d never let me cuff her in bed? How does it feel knowing I’m going to fill your pretty little cunt up?”

Jungkook let out a low moan, feeling your muffled voice cry out against the skin of his palm as your cunt rapidly clenched around him cumming so hard it felt like your eyes were rolling to the back of your head. 

And Jungkook wasn’t stopping, his hips slammed into you, wet lewd sounds filling the tent and his balls smacking into your skin as he kept his hand on your mouth to keep your moans and cries of pleasure quiet, unable to subdue them yourself anymore, as the pleasure kept going, his hips jostling you around before you felt it.

“Fuck!” Jungkook growled out, burying his cock inside you as he came, roughly pumping his cock inside you as he let out a shaky moan, letting your greedy cunt suck every drop from him as he moaned, perhaps louder then even he intended. 

After a few more seconds he collapsed on top of you, making you whine, sniffling as you wiped your face as you felt his hand drag to your waist, stroking it tenderly as he pressed a kiss against your neck, “You’re so perfect.” He whispered, pressing another kiss against your skin, “Made for me. Only me.” His hand squeezed your waist, before he laid flat on his back shifting you around to lay against him, your body curling up as you set your head against his chest.

Your thighs were aching and your hand trembled if you looked close enough as you dragged it over his chest.

And for the first time, with the fire illuminating the inside of the tent, you took the time to drag it over the rough skin of his chest and upon closer inspection noticed all sorts of marks, curiously you shifted once more. 

“Was twice not enough for my little sun?” Jungkook chuckled as you straddled his waist, his hands wrapping around your hips, “We’ll need to start retiring earlier if you want me to have more stamina.” 

“I’m not…!” You felt your body flush, trying to remind yourself that you were in fact naked right now, “I’m just looking.”

“Mmm, so am I.” Jungkook’s eyes trailing down your exposed body to your cunt, watching the white substance dripping out onto his skin, “If I weren’t already exhausted I’d already have you bent over again.” 

“Jungkook!” You whispered out, starting to feel embarrassed now, “Stop…please.” 

He let out a tired, boyish smile and staring down at him you couldn’t help but mirror it, he looked much younger like this, more like his age, eyes lidded from tiredness as his hands wrapped further, fingers digging into your ass, “Is it a crime to admire my wife? You’re only sitting on top of me naked.” 

“I’ve seen you shirtless many times now,” You decided to no longer entertain his dirty thoughts, slowly lowering yourself down his chest making his fingers squeeze tighter around your ass, “But i’ve never truly paid attention.”

“To my godly physique?”

This made you both quietly laugh as you shook your head, unable to not be endeared by this new playful side of him you had never seen, “How did you know?” You whispered back, a light tease in your voice as your hand traced over his sternum, “I meant the scars…How many battles did you fight in?” 

Jungkook palmed your ass in his hands, massaging the flesh as he yawned, eyes closing as he hummed potentially trying to recall, “Too many to count honestly, I was drafted before the Five Year War started as to be properly prepared.” 

Your fingers traced over each scar, some long and thin, others short and deeper, few discolored still having never properly healed, others faded and hardly visibly, “How’d you get this one?” Your finger’s stopped on his left right, a circular scar it was small, as if he had been pierced.

Jungkook’s eyes slowly lidded once more, following where your fingers pressed, “When we first rode to Rolon for war, an archer shot me right off my horse, my only saving grace from death was the wind otherwise it would’ve pierced my heart, y'know it’s said the Rolon Archer’s were trained since children, they could shoot a coin from over a hundred yards away.”

“You were injured before the battle had even begun?” You whispered out, perhaps a little amused at his story. 

Jungkook’s hand trailed down the back of your thigh, pulling them apart just a little making your hips brush over his skin, the feeling of wet stickiness rubbing over his skin, “It was my first endeavor by myself, my men were counting on me to lead them, you can imagine it was a pretty pathetic sight.”

“So how did you manage to siege them if you could not get close?” You tilted your head, resting your elbows down his chest, your hips appeasing him as you softly grinded down on his pubic bone. 

“We had all camped outside their outer districts, preparing ourselves,” Jungkook let out a pleasured hum, eyes closed once more and fingers trailing back to your ass before settling at your steady, soft movement, “We could not get close to their borders without them shooting us down by the tens if not hundreds. And so we would have to make ourselves unknown, invisible.”

A quiet moan escaped him at the feeling of your hips pulling just a little further down just above where his cock was beginning to stir despite his own lethargy. 

“Invisible?” Tiredness was beginning to pull at your lids but you enjoyed this too much, the conversation, the feeling of your puffy, cum covered slit grinding against him, making him break focus, “Surely that wouldn’t be possible?” 

“Invisible to the faraway eye that is,” Jungkook’s brows pinched, fingers gripping your ass a little tighter as your hips dragged just along the base of his hardening cock, weepy and sensitive from having already came inside you twice this night, “Mmm, I didn’t think you’d be such a little lust driven succubus once we consummated.”

It made you grind him just a little harder, the feeling of his cock bobbing before it smacked against your cunt, fully hardened and precum smearing against your asscheek. 

“I’m trying to have a conversation,” You teased, hands traveling over the expanse of his chest before your fingers found his dark nipples, curiously you pinched them a little, “You’re the one that’s making it sexual.” 

A restrained moan escaped him as his eyes cracked open, you couldn’t help your curiosity, fascinated at his different reactions to different things, after all, you were learning his body just as much as he was learning of yours. 

“Sex is dripping off of you,” Jungkook sighed, feeling your hips tease his cock once more, puffy slit rubbing down it’s base before back to his pubic bone, “I can’t help the way my body reacts to it, climbing on top of me naked isn’t a productive way to have a conversation.” 

You couldn’t help but close your eyes briefly, relishing in the feeling of his heady, heavy cock dragging through your puffy slit, coating it in a mixture of your wetness and cum. 

Feeling his shaft rubbing into your sensitive clit was you let out a soft moan, “You didn’t continue your story. How were you invisible.” Your hips dragged back to his pubic bone, pausing your movement to try and refocus your conversation. 

Jungkook let out a displeased sound, fingers digging against your ass once more, “If you want to hear my stories, keep entertaining me.” 

“Can you stay focused?” You gave him a mischievous smile, slowly pulling back up to your elbows, his eyes immediately on your tits. 

“As long as you don’t make me cum,” Jungkook retorted right back, a cocky grin on his face, “Well?” You tried not to shy away from his expression as your hips slowly began rubbing on him once more, teasing the base of his cock as he let out a soft pleasured moan, eyes slowly closing once more to enjoy the feeling as he recalled, “I proposed to my men that we would camouflage ourselves with the terrain, we covered ourselves in mud and moss, whatever greenery we could and crawled on the earth to evade their eyes.” 

His fingers dragged down to the back of your thighs once more as your hips dragged a little lower down his shaft as your clit throbbed making a soft moan escape you, “That’s how you managed to siege their capitol Montclair?”

His fingers pulled your thighs apart, opening your slit a little more as it rubbed along is shaft back to his base, “Mmhm, like that,” He whispered out at feeling your hips pause at the base of his cock, wiggling a little to push it further between the lips of your cunt. 

Silence had suddenly taken over as your eyes shut, enjoying being able to pleasure your husband as your hips slowly rode the base of his cock, letting it slip against your lips and rub along your clit.

This type of pleasure was slow, tantalizing, making his hips rut a little, gliding with ease against your soaked cunt, “What about this one.” Your fingers briefly brushed along his left breast, a long wicked line crossing it as you slowed your hips back down. 

“Training accident when I was younger,” Jungkook murmured out, sounding half asleep, “I had assumed Hoseok was going for a lower strike but he tricked me, he got too close and accidentally sliced me right across the chest, it was a larger wound when it had first happened.” 

Jungkook had a faint smile on his lips as his hands dragged to your waist, keeping a firm grip to encourage your hips, his eyes pulled open only a little, “He wouldn’t stop crying while profusely apologizing to me, saying he’d do anything to keep the wrath from my father at bay.” 

“Did he hear about it?” Your moan was mixed with your soft laugh, grinding down as your clit dragged against his skin.

Jungkook’s breath hitched, “No, it only went as far as my aunt. She merely laughed it off, saying it was good practice for the real deal.”

You paused your movement, hands tracing down his particularly slim waist, just at the bottom of his ribcage, “And this?”

You lifted yourself up as Jungkook opened his eyes, “No looking.” You whispered out. 

This made him confused before he let out a quiet laugh, closing his eyes once more, “I’ve seen it already princess, you can’t hide anything from me at this point.”

“I’m…testing…it’s lewd.” You tried not to be embarrassed as you sat down on his taunt, thick muscular thighs, legs still parted as you situated your cunt against his base once more, “How did you get that scar?” You prompted him once more. 

Jungkook seemed to be having an increasingly harder time focusing as he felt it, your cunt making contact with the sensitive underside of his cock, your hips lifting to drag against his shaft, “It was when we attempted war with Kyoto, I was in the frontlines with the other underlings and an assassin of Kyoto had made his way into the trenches.”

Jungkook’s jaw was clenched as he felt your hand wrap around the head of his cock, giving short as he let out a breathy moan, hand running through his hair, “He was a full grown man and we were nothing more than boys pretending to be men. His sword longer than us all,” He bit down on his lip at your hand squeezing his cock, your cunt sliding against his base, “He cut two of the other underlings in half with just one swing, I was almost the third, I had barely managed to jump back in time but the tip of his blade still cut through me, blood was everywhere.”

“How did you live?” You whispered out, sadness somewhere deep inside you filled your heart through the haze of lust. 

“Jimin had managed to jump on his back,” Jungkook let out another breath moan at feeling your hand drag down his cock, “Stabbed him in the neck, he choked on his own blood as they all rushed to get first aid for me. I almost bled out that night but by some miracle they had managed to stop the bleeding and get me stitches.” 

Jungkook groaned as his hands curled into fists, pleasure becoming much stronger than it was supposed to, “Enough please.” 

The movements ceased, “Does it not feel good?” 

“It feels too good, I told you to not make me cum.” Jungkook sighed softly in relief as he felt you change positions back to your original, the weight of your body situated once more fully on top of him, “Mmm warm my cock.”

“I don’t understand how that works.” You whispered out, a bit embarrassed, you were a fast learner but you still didn’t know all the ends and outs of how all of this worked. 

This made Jungkook laugh softly, endeared at your words as he forced his tired eyes back open, “It’s simple honestly, sit on my cock, let it stay warm inside you. I’ll be able to focus and recall events more better that way.”

“Really?” You replied skeptically.

“Mhm, what else do you want to know?” Jungkook let a crooked smirk tug on his lips as you grabbed the base of his cock, obediently doing as he told you, the fat head pushing inside you, a noise escaping you both. 

Slowly you slid down his cock until your hips were flush with his, “Mmm, what now?” It was hard to focus now having him stuffing you so full. 

Jungkook let out a long content sigh, “Nothing, this is it. Ask away.”

His hands lovingly stroked your hips as you suddenly struggled to speak, feeling his fat large cock throbbing inside you, walls clenching around him as your arousal dripped.

Jungkook let out an amused breath, “Cat got your tongue?”

You shook your head, slowly leaning back down to rest yourself on his chest, but somehow laying made your body feel even more full, “This one?” Your words were soft, trembled with a quiet whine, fingers brushing over his right bicep, a thin long line curving around it. 

Jungkook’s hands stroked your waist before trailing over your back, “It happened during our siege of Prokiev, the battle happened overnight and it was dark out, fire my only source for my fight with their royal guard captain, our adrenaline was running out and we were both ragged, he threw a sloppy blow aiming for my chest but I moved away and back, the edge of his blade managed to pierce right through my chainmail. It wasn’t a serious injury.”

Jungkook let out a soft pleasured sigh at your little walls clenching around him, seemingly unable to relax with him buried this deep and unmoving in your cunt, “It serves as a reminder though.”

“To what?” You whispered out, setting your head down on his chest, biting down on your lip once more, trying so, so hard to focus on his words and not his cock, it felt like he was completely stretching you out, hitting all the way up into your stomach though surely that wasn’t possible. 

Even if it felt like it was. 

“That many want me dead, sharpening their blades that even a shallow cut could one day maim me or better yet kill me. Sometimes I wonder how I survived,” Jungkook murmured, eyes closing as he fought the sleep off, “Each of these scars is proof that I’m still here, that somehow despite all of the odds, whether it was pure luck, or pure skill, I lived another day. Learned, grew from my mistakes.”

Your eyes had fallen shut, tiredness pulling you into a lull as you felt a blanket being pulled over you, engulfing you in warmth once more. 

You let out a ghost of a whine at feeling the slightest rut of his hips, cock making sure it was buried as far inside you as possible, Jungkook pressed a kiss against your head, “Something above let me live, let me marry you, the love of my life.” 

Your eyes had become heavier with each passing gentle press of his lips, you had soon fallen asleep to the sweet sensation of his lips feathering your skin, hands stroking your side, cock keeping you full and ushers of love on his lips. 

While the journey had been safe and overall good travel, to say you were relieved to be in Kimhae was an understatement, the air was cold, but it didn’t have that wet sharp feeling it did in Penumbra, and only a bit of frost covered the ground now.

Your thickest layers were shedded during travel as it got warmer much to your relief, more than anything you were ready to see your family, and even more so ready to sleep in a proper bed and rest.

You couldn’t voice it aloud to anyone but your thighs were sore from not only riding your horse but also from other nefarious activities late into the night, you were absolutely ready to stand on your own two feet for the next week. 

Upon entering the gates of Kimhae the sight was familiar enough to you, elegant towering buildings, busy towns people who all seemed to pause from their business at the sight of not just you but your husband, whispers broke out and if your life in Penumbra had helped you with one thing, it was being able to ignore the stares.

Riding next to your husband as you made your way through the capitol until you arrived at the large gates of the palace, the courtyard open and lush, what you hadn’t expected was the sight of someone so familiar and yet…now had become a total stranger to you. 

Kim Seokjin, the man you had once thought was the love of your life, only to realize that this was a feeble, childish type of love, the type of love you think is love until you truly fall in love. 

He stood tall and proud as his eyes locked onto your figure, standing in white double buttoned vest and long sleeve, royal blue cape cascading behind him dramatically. 

He looked like something out of a fairytale and you couldn’t deny Seokjin was just as handsome as you remembered, clean cut and warm skin. 

Coming to a stop, your vision of him was somewhat blocked by your husband, and for the first time seeing them almost side by side made you realize just how different they were, Jungkook dawned in all black, hair array from travel and longer then when you had first met, well overdue for a trim. 

His look, all too familiar, neutral but often coming across as dark and brooding to a person who wasn’t well acquainted with him.

And you supposed you must have seemed different from your old self as well, you no longer wore flowery apparel light apparel, now often dawned in black and maroons, today no different though you had gone without the fuss and feathers to make travel easier, a plain black gown with an under layer of red peeping out, sleeves dramatically long but slits having formed to make movement easier, another white long sleeve layer beneath to keep you warm as well as curl up to your neck.

Jungkook had already dismounted his horse, holding his hands out to you as you stood up in your saddle, pulling your leg over before you felt the security of his hands wrap around your waist, lifting you down safely. 

You offer him a tiny smile of thanks as you turn to face Seokjin, the hand staying curled around your waist however did not go unnoticed by you as you both walked to greet your ex-lover. 

“Seokjin, I cannot thank you enough for your invitation,” You gave him a soft smile, perhaps a sort of soft spot for him still lingered in your chest, after all, while your love might not have been deep, it was something, and you’d take it for what it was, “It’s been a long time.” 

“Yes, I’m relieved to see you alive and well, it’s been too long.” Seokjin’s eyes were locked onto you and only you, and briefly you felt a sort of severed connection. 

His eyes drilling into you with a sort of passion that you only blinked at with a friendly polite smile, him taking your hand into his own as he lifted it to his lips, “Truthfully I don’t think enough time has passed.” 

Your hand was suddenly snatched away by a much larger one, Jungkook’s expression had quickly gone from neutral to one hundred percent leering and unfriendly, that typical icy Jeon glare as he spoke coldly, “Kim Seokjin.”

Seokjin’s eyes burned into the sight, Jungkook’s hand holding onto your own in a sort of protective manner, as if he assumed the man’s kiss to your hand would maim you.

“Jeon Jungkook.” Seokjin’s eyes twisted into a glare, but it simply didn’t have the same bite as Jungkook’s, “I can’t say I remember inviting the Jeon’s.”

“Interesting you say that,” Jungkook replied, a haughty cold look on his face, “Given one found its way to my wife,” He glanced down at you, a squeeze of his hand on your waist and his hand releasing your own only for his fingers to trace your jawbone, “Only the most beautiful Jeon.”

Jungkook’s thumb tugged at your lower lip and you couldn’t help but shy away from his gaze, somewhat flustered at such an open display of affection, “What my husband means to say is we’ve come here to represent Penumbra together, I hope this will be the first of many Yule’s we can all come together and celebrate the Rite of Peace.” 

You could tell by Seokjin’s gritted smile that whatever he had anticipated this was not it, it softened however as his eyes landed on you, “For you, I’d do anything Y/n.” His gaze became more sharp as they locked back onto Jungkook, “...And I suppose that goes for you as well. I hope your stay in Kimhae treats you well.”

“As do I.” Jungkook retorted, “Now if you’ll excuse us, we’d like to rest after our journey.”

You briefly glanced up at Jungkook, brow furrowing in a little bit of annoyance, you understood that Jungkook absolutely did not like Seokjin in the least, but couldn’t he be a little more discreet about it? 

This being your first public appearance as a couple meant you’d have to be careful how you presented yourselves, if he wanted to quarrel with the man you did not care as long as he did it in private where prying eyes and ears couldn’t witness it.

“Of course,” Seokjin almost sneered at him, making you shuffle a bit uncomfortable at seeing the men nearly bearing teeth at one another, “My head maid will show you to your room.” 

Seokjin gave you one last look, and you couldn’t quite describe it, it was one of yearning and longing, and yet it wasn’t reciprocated as you allowed Jungkook to lead you both into the palace following behind the maid. 

“What was all of that about?” You whispered reprimanding to Jungkook. 

Jungkook only looked ahead, “He touched you.” 

“...He was being polite.” You reasoned, you had never seen such displays from Jungkook before- well aside from the time Claudin had taken your hand. 

Come to think of it, you supposed this was less rash then when he pressed a knife into Claudin’s neck for so much as grabbing your hand to kiss, truthfully you should be thankful it didn’t escalate so quickly to that. 

Stepping into your guest room you paused, realizing this was the room you used to stay in when you were a maiden...Seokjin probably still has the route memorized…had he thought you’d come to Kimhae alone?

You shook the ridiculous notion away as you took your cloak off, Jungkook shut the door to your shared room, “He touched you.” He emphasized it. 

You turned around, raising your eyebrows, not understanding what he was getting at, Jungkook huffed, “Men who touch women like that aren’t being friendly.” 

“It was my hand!” You pouted, “You’ve touched my hands plenty of times.”

“And look where it led.” Jungkook countered as he took his own outer apparel off, “That’s just the way it goes. And perhaps because I also know you’ve sucked his cock-”

“Jungkook!” You cried out, embarrassment flooding through you, “Don’t say it so loud!” 

This made Jungkook chuckle as he sat on the foot of the bed, “Hmm, you’ve never sucked my cock before come to think of it.” He laughed even louder at suddenly being hit with the cloak you launched at him.

“I am tired and taking a nap, you can either join me or sleep on the floor if you keep being crude.” You kicked your riding shoes off as you pulled the covers curling up in bed, his body immediately beside you, arms wrapping around your waist. 

“I can’t help it,” Jungkook replied, snickering into your shoulder, “You’re easy to tease.” 

[braxlrose]

I miss ur writings sm :(

I am so sorry that I've been gone for so long, I haven't posted any fan fiction in so many months and honestly I lost motivation 😭 so many ppl who were in this fandom and I created a community with, were slowly getting over this "phase" and it definitely affected me. But I'm going to try and get back into writing. I hope this will do good for now! Ive had a lot of ppl recently ask for 2005 bill hcs, and I've done that before so if this is repetitive for something else I've written, sorry!

content warnings: none

a/n: I'll be updating my tag list since it hasn't been updated since like August of last year and I don't want to be tagging people who don't care or want to see these posts anymore. So if you wanna be tagged, let me know!

2005!bill kaulitz x f!reader

sfw:

- I'm an alternative person so whenever I write for bill, I always imagine him with an alternative girl 😞 even though from what I've seen he's never really been w/ an alternative one, BUT LETS PRETEND OKAY 🙏🙏

• he absolutely loves doing hair together, I think he enjoys helping you do your hair in the morning and your make up. And he's even more greatful if you do his makeup. Then he can just relax while you help him.

• pookie has crunchy ass hair at the end of the day when he has to wash it out, don't make fun of him 😞

• getting piercings together is something he LOVES doing with you. Mainly early piercings because he only has a tongue and eyebrow piercing on his face.

• if you made music too, he would always go to your concerts and basically scream the entire time. Hopefully, you'd do the same for him.

• if you have longer nails, head scratches are always a must and he will lay in your lap for literal hours while you pamper him.

- I personally think he would love to learn words in your language if you keep something different than German. And despite what anybody thinks, he finds it hilarious to learn the dirty words.

• if you cook him something from your culture, he will literally die. He basically thinks everything about you is so cool, and learning about a culture different from his is so exciting

• but if you two really want to date, you'll have to both try to learn English or each other language because there is going to be a hard language barrier between you two.

- I think one of the reasons he would've fallen in love with you is because you were upfront with him. He's not the type of guy to just go up and kiss someone so if you confess first, that would make things so much easier.

- obviously, you'd have to get along with Tom, Georg and Gustav. So if you don't, there's no way he'll go out with you, especially if you can't get along or hate Tom.

-Dates together consist of stuff you guys bought somewhere, or if you guys went to a fastfood restaurant.

• He doesn't have a lot of money yet so dates wouldn't exactly be high class, hopefully you don't mind 😉

-Since this is around the time Tokio Hotel is getting increasingly famous, there are fangirls around trying to flirt and ask out bill all the time and he has to shoo them off. He reminds you every night about how much he loves you and that those fan girls shouldn't bother you.

-he likes to spoon you a lot, and you two switch back n forth between him being the big spoon and the small spoon.

• I think he also really likes it when you lay on top of him, with your face in his neck and your legs wrapped around him. (This also works sitting upwards).

• cuddling with him is so nice too because he actually smells really good 😱

- I think he still gets very insecure sometimes because of the haters and people who harass the band because they don't like them and you reassure him a lot.

a/n pt 2: sorry this wasn't too long! I'm trying to get back into the groove of writing so if this is terrible I'm sorry 😞

taglist: none right now

[phantomoftheorpheum]

my favorite book to show changes in Shelter

*obviously spoilers for the first season of Shelter, as well as the trilogy, though I will be putting anything that relates to plots they may do in later possible seasons below a cut.

The Friendship Group - I really, really like the way they updated the friendship dynamics for the show. This is probably my absolute favorite change. In the books, Ema & Mickey are very much besties and the center of the story, while Spoon often feels like an addition, and Rachel doesn't have much content. While they do technically end up as a group by the end, there are very few scenes with the 4 of them and the main dynamic focused on is Mickey & Ema's.

Shira Bolitar - in the books, Mickey goes to live with his uncle Myron, and Shira doesn't exist. Myron is fine in the books (and he clearly exists in the show, even though we don't meet him), but I like the added focus on Shira (and Hannah, who also isn't a character in the books). They do give Shira some of Myron's material from the books, but she also has a lot of new stuff for the show. I guess some audiences might not think her added material is necessary, but I liked her being a more fleshed out character (I mean, Myron has his own books, which I haven't read, so he's probably very fleshed out in those, but he doesn't have much going on in these books).

Spoon - I think they nailed Spoons characterization, like he feels very much like his book counterpart (aside from a couple of repeated jokes/comments in the books that I didn't love and I'm glad that they didn't use in the show), but there's so much more of him in the show. He honestly does not have enough scenes in the books. I'm glad they recognized his potential in the show.

Dylan Shakes (spelled Shaykes in the books) - This one isn't that big of a deal, but I like that they threaded that mystery into the main plot of the show. This character has a (less fleshed out) very similar plot in the books, but it's very background and his disappearance doesn't feel that important to the town.

Ema's Romantic Arc - Whitney doesn't exist in the books. Ema has other stuff going on romantically in the books, I'll go a little more into this in the more spoilery section of the post.

One thing I think the books did better than the show is that Ashley and Mickey know each other for several weeks before she goes missing, as opposed to literally one day. While I understand that the show addresses that there's some transference going on with Mickey and his desire to save Ashley when he couldn't save his father, his fixation feels weirder in the show than in the books, where he'd gotten to know her a little bit better and they were tentatively dating.

*****spoilers for some book plots that could come into play in additional seasons of the show below!!*****

Ema & Mickey - Okay, honestly, this is a big one for me. It could be because I watched the show first and had that dynamic in my head going into the books, but I was very much not a fan of Ema & Mickey's feelings for each other in the books. While they never actually get together (unless he's going to write more?), we get confirmation that they both have feelings for each other and both know it. I don't know. This just didn't work for me. Maybe, partially, because Mickey spends a lot of the books being jealous whenever Troy & Rachel are brought up, but then will flip into being jealous about Ema liking someone else and back and forth so much. It might be realistic (since Mickey is mainly just like distracted by how hot he thinks Rachel is a lot), but it kind of taints the vibe of "Ema & Mickey are so emotionally connected and their bond is so deep" that it feels like we're supposed to believe at times. IDK. I very much prefer their friendship in the show.

Rachel - Show Rachel is so superior to the book version of Rachel. And it's not that book!Rachel is bad, it's just that she really doesn't get much time on the page, despite being central to the second book mystery, which basically revolves around her family dynamics. While her season 1 plot is pretty similar to her book 1 plot, that's about all the action we really see out of her in the books, and I think that the show did a great job increasing her presence and agency.

[itzsephig5]

2.4 (B Me)

My Masterlist

This story on Wattpad

Intro - Age of Ultron 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 1.6 1.7 1.8 1.9 1.10 1.11 1.12 Intro - Civil War 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.3.5 2.5 2.6 2.7 2.8 Intro - B Me 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 3.6 3.7 3.8 3.9 3.10 3.11 3.12 Updated Character Info 3.13 3.14 3.15 3.16 3.17 3.18 3.19 3.20 Final Character Info

Important info for chapter:

miláčik - darling

Y/n's POV:

"I still can't believe that when Tony, Rhodey, Natasha and Pietro left, Tony took all the remotes. Like what the fuck." I whined as I laid on Wanda's bed. I heard Wanda laugh at my reactions. "I don't know why he did miláčik. But there are other things we can do while we don't watch TV." Wanda tells me. "Also why is Vision on babysitting duty, he's technically younger than both of us." I continue to complain. I feel a dip in the bed before I saw Wanda was on top of me. She kissed my lips quickly before pulling back. "Calm down Y/n. We'll figure everything out." She says before going to lay next to me. I placed my head on her stomach. "How are you feeling from earlier? Still nauseous or are you better from when you threw up?" Wanda asked with concern in her tone. I let out a hum. "I still feel slightly nauseous to be honest." I say. "Do you know why? I mean you've been feeling sick the past few days." She brings up. I shook my head. "I probably just ate something wrong." I answered. A few moments passed as the two of us laid there. "Can I admit something?" I asked Wanda. "Of course. Tell me what's on your beautiful mind." Wanda tells me. I rolled my eyes slightly while blushing at her comment. I hear her laugh slightly. "I just." I started. "I just don't know how to feel about any of this anymore. Everything I thought about being an Avenger, being a hero, is just crumbling around me. I'm mad. I'm mad that it's gotten to the point where the team is divided. I'm mad because this just doesn't feel right anymore. I just want to leave." I say. "I get what you mean." Wanda says. "I find myself relating more to the ones we label as the bad guys." She adds. "Yeah. Me too." I say. We kept talking for a little bit before my stomach grumbled. Wanda started to laugh again. "Hungry?" She teases. I just rolled my eyes. "Yeah. Someone is cooking something, and I can smell it. It smells really good." I say before sitting up. "Like they're making two dishes." I mentioned. I feel Wanda grab my hand as she pulled me up and towards the kitchen.

When we got there, I saw Vision cooking something. "Is that paprikash?" Wanda asked. I remembered she told me that was one of her favorite meals. I looked over at the oven and saw lasagna in it. "And lasagna?" I asked. That was one of my favorite dishes because mom made it a lot. "I thought these dishes might lift both of your spirits." Vision said. Wanda went over to the pan to see what was happening while I walked over to the oven. I opened it slightly to smell the lasagna. "Spirits lifted." I hear Wanda say before I closed the oven door and turned around. "Yeah, this is good." I say before walking over to stand next to Wanda. "In my defense, I haven't actually ever eaten anything before. So." Vision tells us. "May we?" Wanda asked. "Please." Vision says. Wanda pulls me closer and grabs a few different ingredients that Vision had out. I grabbed a spoon to take a taste of the paprikash. Wanda had taught me how to make it. My nose wrinkled slightly when I realized where Vision made a mistake. I grabbed one of the ingredients to add more of. "Wanda? Y/n?" I hear Vision ask. "Hm." Wanda says. "Yeah?" I asked. "No one dislikes you guys." He says. "Thanks." Wanda says. I added another one of the ingredients to the pot. "Oh, you're welcome. No, it's an involuntary response in their amygdala. They can't help but be afraid of you both." Vision says. "Are you?" I asked. "My amygdala is synthetic so..." He trailed off before I snorted in response. Wanda laughed a little. "I used to think of myself one way. But after this." Wanda says as her powers start to glow around her fingers. The red wisps. I lifted my hand up to hold hers, my own powers, the orange wisps, circle around our connected hands before merging in with Wanda's powers. "I am something else. I'm still me, I think." I added onto what she had said. We both felt the same way about our powers. "But that's not what everyone else sees." Wanda finished before letting our hands fall and our powers disappear. I looked up to see Vision touch the mind stone in his forehead. "Do you know, I don't know what this is?" He mentions. "Not really. I know it's not of this world, that it powered Loki's staff, and gave you both your abilities, but it's true nature is a mystery. And yet, it is part of me." He says. "Are you afraid of it?" I asked. "I wish to understand it. The more I do, the less it controls me. One day, who knows? I may even control it." Vision explains. I watch Wanda turn to look back at the food. "I don't know what's in this, but it is not paprika. Y/n and I are going to go to the store. We'll be back in twenty minutes." Wanda says. "Yeah, no offense Vision, but if the lasagna tastes off, I'm going to prefer a store bought one." I say as Wanda and I start to walk towards the door. "Alternatively, we could order a pizza." Vision tells us. "Vision. Are you not letting us leave?" I asked him seriously. He starts to block us. "It is a question of safety." He tells us. "We can protect ourselves." Wanda says. "Not yours. Mr. Stark would like to avoid the possibility of another public incident. Until the Accords are on a more secured foundation." Vision tries to explain. I scoffed. Of course, Tony thinks Wanda and I are going to cause another incident if we go out. "And what do you want?" I asked annoyed. "For people to see you guys as I do." 

[lixenn]

General update

Since I realised it's been ages since I did some kind of progress report on my projects I'd thought I should make a post about the current state of affairs to keep you guys updated properly.

I know this is probably super old news rn but I'm currently in a very low creative mood (I don't really wanna call it an art/writers block? I just tend to have phases in my life where I pretty much don't write or draw anything and I'm in one such phase rn), so I haven't touched my WIPs in ages. I do miss writing a lot but I'm not at the point where I want to force myself to write, so I'm just playing a waiting game at the moment.

So for writing projects:

I'm still stuck on chapter 6 of Causality which ngl is frustrating even after I managed to get over the initial block I had in the writing by switching POVs. I know need to figure out how to handle the different POV which I might take a while? But also might not, I'm too much of a mood writer OTL I would say the chapter is about 70 % done so I just need to finish the draft and edit but again actually finishing it is the struggle, so I'm asking for patience on this 😔

Now the Guide... I was debating doing something special for the one year anniversary on Thursday (which is wild it's been a year TT one year ago I just started working on my thesis and I was delirously happy because I finally found fandom friends) but since I have a job interview on that day which means I will be stressed out of my mind the entire time this is not gonna happen OTL I still have one very vague idea for a Guide chapter in the back of my mind but except for one rule I don't really have that much to base it on so this will require more time and probably a brainstorm session in discord dms. I might - and this is a very big might - share a future scene of Causality that's not super spoiler heavy as a compromise but this kinda depends on if I'm willing to get over my relucatance of sharing sequel stuff. It would fit for White Day cause it's romance... I will think about it lol

Now the work on the wiki is pretty much on hold because after I got the handle on the initial set up I kinda just need to get over myself and write all the entries which... is a lot of work that I'm too low on spoons for at the moment. I'm honestly considering updating Chief's character profile with the new/corrected info that I have in his wiki page because at this point it's going to take me ages until I get the wiki live and the outdated info is nagging at me. It probably wouldn't be too much effort to do but yeah... Maybe you guys could tell me if you are interested in that? Or if you are fine waiting cause at this point I don't mind either way.

Art stuff:

So I currently have two(?) art challenge asks in my inbox still and they will be my priority unless I get a comm but I'm also asking for patience on those 😔 I promise I haven't forgotten, art is just hard too atm so everything takes longer OTL

Otherwise I don't have any active art WIPs but I have two new OC designs sketched that I want to transfer into digital art, so that I can comfortably throw them into the wild. Also I do want to make ref sheets for my main OCs but that shits hard when your art style is all over the place and you don't know how to draw most stuff without finding specific refs. A problem for future Lix I suppose ^^'

General life stuff (aka what am I doing with my time):

I'm pretty much reading fanfic 24/7 and have been doing for weeks. This is a very common state of affairs when I'm trying to cope with stress and don't have energy for creating things, so it's nothing new. I'm pretty sure I can credit my low creative energy on being kinda depressed/anxious/stressed/lonely about my life situation which can mostly be summed up with: hanging in limbo. I'm someone who benefits from structure in my life and since I don't have either work or lectures I'm at loose ends and it's slowly but surely dragging me down. I don't mind the free time but I also feel anxious and uncertain about my future which always sucks. I can't long term plan for shit rn because I have no clue where I will be in a month and that's so fucking annoying TT Also I feel the constant pressure of needing to find a job sooner rather than later and it's a drag, my guys. Theoretically I know that my worth is not depended on what I can bring to society but my heart can't really fully except it especially since I do need the income eventually, I don't wanna bum off my parents for another few months.

So yeah...

I might go rebloge some more ask games just to get some kind of writing done even if it's just answering questions, it's better than nothing and I miss interacting with you folks. Also, I don't want all of my actual posts be me complaining about my current state of affairs because that's just depressing lmao

Anyways! Gold stars to anyone who actually read this massive post that totally got out of hand ⭐ Keep being awesome my dudes!

[zephfair]

Hello? Anyone still here?

Hey, who disappeared for months and has desperately missed all her little friends who live on this hell-site but has been too exhausted and overwhelmed to actually login ... and who lost track of where this sentence was going ... Yeah, this girl.🤗

But, wow, have I missed you all and all the beauty that is Tumblr, and I hope you'll forgive me for secreting myself away since--holy cow--January.

Quick life update behind the cut.

So, I knew going back to work full-time at my age after quite a long unintended break AND now having health disabilities, well, I knew it would be hard. I knew I would have to adjust my whole, entire life. I expected it to be incredibly difficult, and I fully planned to give myself some grace and time in having to change my every routine.

But somehow, I still underestimated it.

I am so thankful to have a job now, with a steady (if small) income and benefits that frankly make me want to weep with thanks. I mean, I don't have time to go to the doctor, but at least now I could afford to go, if I could get there.

But wow, work is tough. Not just the literal work but, as I said, changing my entire life around it. I'm not complaining, but I am doing my best to learn all new skills (job is not in my old field), relearn how to work and reschedule my own needs and just upend everything.

The absolute worst thing has been trying to take care of my aunt. I was to leave town on Jan. 7 to start my training on Jan. 8.

My 90-year-old aunt fell and broke her pelvis (and a finger and needed some stitches) Jan. 2. I spent every waking hour with her over the rest of that week. While I'd planned to spend that week cleaning my house, getting my business in order and just resting, I was freaking out and traveling through the snow and literally worried sick about her.

It was bad.

And I couldn't stay with her like I did when she broke her hip because I had to attend training full-time. At least they let us come home super-early from that first on-site week of training, but that led to a literal nightmare of a drive home one night through snow, ice, rain, flooding and fog that I'm not joking I've had nightmares about before and now since. Long story.

So, I spent January and February training and working 9 hours a day then spending all day Saturday at her place cleaning and doing laundry and making sure she had everything she needed for a week, and then I had Sunday to do my own laundry and clean the house and take care of my own things...which just keep getting pushed back because I'm too worn out.

Thank God, Aunt made a miraculous recovery and now is doing her own house and laundry etc. but I still go out one day a weekend and do anything else she needs and make sure she has all her groceries and supplies and stuff.

We're all each other has.

Needless to say, I haven't been taking care of myself. I don't sleep well anyway, but add the stress of the new job and my dear aunt and my own health issues, and I'm exhausted. Weary. Overwhelmed and just so very tired. My body is so heavy, I can barely move anymore. It's bad.

And when I finally got to my doctor two weeks ago for my long-delayed check-up, found out I was right about my blood pressure being sky-high again. It went high for the first time several years ago when my Mom was dying, but it eventually settled and was fine. But yeah, it's bad again now. No shock there. And all my lovely chronic health conditions have flared which was no surprise--again, I had braced myself to expect it and power through it, and that's what I'm doing. But it sucks. And it's hard. And there's so much pain.

I don't want to say much about my job, but the over-arching Praise the Lord wonderful thing about it is working from home. There have been so many days already that I never would've been able to get to an office to work, but I can push through it here because I don't have to use any spoons to get myself "ready" (sweatshirts and leggings, no personal grooming necessary, yay), and I don't have any anxiety about driving because zero commute. It has its challenges too because Teams is a weird office communication alternative to get used to, but on the good side, I don't have to deal with interpersonal drama from co-workers.

The work itself is challenging, but I have some days where I finally feel quietly competent and think, Oh, I can actually do this. And then there are some days that leave me in tears and praying for help because it's just too hard. But there's no way I'm quitting; they're going to have to fire me because did I mention the benefits are incredible? I mean, I live in the US and if you knew how much I had to pay last year for my own health insurance, and then the scope and biopsies and then the skin cancer and surgery and then the other skin pre-cancer biopsy and treatment. Yeah, I'm still in big debt from all of that.

So I keep praying that they keep me and that I'll do a good job. And my immediate supervisor has started piling extra work on me over the past 3 weeks so suddenly I'm doing my own stuff AND cleaning up the work from co-workers who aren't keeping up. And all of them have been working since October while just a handful of us began in January?

I have been complaining about this to my aunt, and I thought it meant that my supervisor thinks I'm incapable or is punishing me for trying to get through own my entire workload every single day. But she believes he's giving me all their shit work because I'll actually do it, and I admit, I have gotten some of it completed successfully after they'd given up on it. So, I don't know.

I know that I'm a perfectionist and I've always pushed myself as hard as possible to do my best at work (not at housework and other things in my life lols) but I really hope that it gets me a good reputation at this job and they keep me.

So yeah, that's what's going on here. I've completely abandoned the fandom things in life that I actually enjoy. I almost feel, like, guilty when I'd think about trying to make some time to browse Tumblr or wasting time on social media or even trying to write fic. I get done with work at 6:30 pm, and until I get something to eat and then clean up, it's 8 or 8:30. I have to spend about an hour on the phone with Aunt (and I call her every morning, break, and lunch time too). By then, I can barely walk or move so I just try to make it upstairs to bed. Even though I can't sleep, it just feels nice to lie down.

But I miss all of you. And I miss fandom fun. And I want to be around more because maybe it would recharge me rather than me feeling so freaking overwhelmed every minute of the day.

And I promise not to complain and bitch all the time, now that I've gotten it out of my system. But thanks for listening.

I do miss you, and I love you all.

PLEASE let me know if I've missed anything important in your lives and goings on here! I've got A LOT of catching up to do!

[rhithefella-sillytimes]

Jeremy and Rachel

But in the pokémon AU :>

"After the battles and classes today, let's meet up. It's important."

"Yeah, okay Rach. I'll be available."

"Awesome! I'll be by the cafe. Oh, and please tell the others."

That was the conversation they made hours ago. And yet, there was still no sign of Jeremy anywhere. Rachel found it weird, Jeremy always went through with the promises he made. Well, the promises he made to her, anyway. He was a reliable guy, and he's not the type to ditch anyone last second... right?

The champion anxiously stirred the cup of coffee with the spoon in her hand. The cream had already dissolved by this point, both by the formerly warm coffee and her stirring of it. It's gotten cold about an hour or two ago, but she doesn't dare to take a sip just yet.

Her garchomp, on the other hand, had other plans. He'd already ordered his 10th serving of pancakes, and was chowing down on it like it would be his last meal. Rachel glanced over at him and thought:

Thank Arceus, the pancakes have free refills. If it weren't, I wouldn't wanna know what might happen to my wallet...

Her train of thought got disrupted when a waitress approached the table.

"Hello miss, would you like to order something as well?", she asked, waiting politely but eagerly for an answer.

Rachel shook her head. "Oh, no, I'll pass. I'm... waiting for someone.", she replied. The waitress nodded her head, walking off to another table.

Rachel pulled out her phone, checking for any updates from her friends. So far and... radio silence. They didn't even see her newer messages. To her, it was getting concerning.

What was going on? Why haven't they showed up at all yet?

She texted a mutual friend, asking them if they'd seen them anywhere.

"Hey, have you seen any of the guys anywhere after classes? I've tried contacting them and they aren't answering."

"No, not really."

"Not even on the street? Not even online?"

"Nope."

She sighed, before asking another friend, and then another. They all answered something similar, about not having talked or even seen any of them around.

This was starting to alarm her more and more as time passed. She wasn't sure what was going on, and why they'd just go radio silent out of nowhere.

Jeremy wasn't like this. He wouldn't do this. None of them would. These guys, they're the loudest sons of a gun I've ever met. Going radio silent isn't like them. Not at all.

Something must've happened. Either that or I'm just blowing this waaay out of proportion.

...Maybe I am. Maybe I am. I should just keep waiting, maybe it isn't too serious. Maybe these were all just coincidences.

An hour passes, and Rachel's concern is at its peak. She stood up from her seat and was about to pay and leave to find them herself when-

The bells of the cafe entrance door ring, and a few familiar voices fill the cafe, the same familiar banter like always. It was the school's league club's Elite Four. Her friends, the people she's been waiting for.

Samuel and Roderick were busy bickering slightly, while Kevin kept to himself, looking tired.

And as always, Jeremy was trying to be the mediator.

She took a sigh of relief, before she called out to Jeremy, trying to sound less worried than she actually was.

"Hehe, it took you long enough. I was... starting to get really scared. Where have you been?"

Jeremy shrugged, sighing. He was about to explain when he was interrupted by the banter escalating to an argument. He turns his head, glancing at Roderick and Samuel's and sighing.

"I WAS WATCHING OVER MY SISTER, BY THE WAY!"

"Oh yeah? How did she manage to climb the tropius then?!"

"I don't know! DON'T BE MAD AT ME FOR THAT!"

"WHY WOULDN'T I BE MAD, SHE COULD'VE HAD MORE THAN A FEW BRUISES IF KEVIN DIDN'T CATCH HER!"

Jeremy then looks back at Rachel. "We had to delay a little because of that. Had to take Rod's sis to the clinic."

"Oh...", Rachel exclaimed, slightly feeling embarassed now. "I'm... sorry. Is she fine?"

"Yeah, she's okay. Only got shaken and had some mild bruises and scratches from the grass and rocks. She'll be fine."

Rachel sighed in relief. "Oh, phew."

"'C'mon, this is Rod's sister we're talking about. His family's... a tough bunch. I'm sure she'll be okay.", Jeremy chuckled.

Rachel smiled as well. She's always admired Jeremy's optimism.

How was he able to do it? How was he able to look at the good in anything and everything? I should probably ask that to him sometime, as well as other questions.

"Uh, but on another topic, you wanted to talk to us about something, right?", Jeremy asked, before gesturing to the others to quiet down. They obliged, making quick and slightly disgruntled apologies to each other.

"Oh, of course!", Rachel snapped her fingers, remembering why she wanted to talk to them in the first place. "But first, you guys should sit down. Grab something to eat."

She then ushered them to the table, and watched as the boys took a seat before she did. The waitress from earlier had returned, taking their orders.

As the boys wait for the orders to arrive, Rachel took a sip of the coffee she'd been stirring for a while before speaking.

"So I've brought you guys here for something really important.

It's... about the league club."

Jeremy rested his head on his hand, his elbow placed down on the table beside his plate. "Hm? What about it?"

Rachel sighed. "Well, Miss Wong just talked to me today. Oh, that Miss Adelaide, she's the only one that cares for it these days, and she's only a volunteer...

anyway, she gave me a heads up that the faculty's losing interest in the league club. They might give even less money than before. And if this keeps going at this rate...

We might even have to close the club. For good. I... understand that we could always fund it out of pocket, but uhm... we're just students, we can only do so much."

Those words made the group stunned.

Roderick's mouth slightly went open in shock, and he was stunned into a rare silence.

Kevin's constant anxious expression worsened, and his hands stiffened into fists.

Samuel looked a twinge more worried despite keeping his composure, and his eyes started looking anywhere but to Rachel.

"Huh? Why would they do that?", Jeremy asked, before continuing, a small smile returning on his face as if to reassure. "We should think of a way to keep them interested. This can't be the way the league ends."

Rachel nods at Jeremy, before looking back at the group. "That's why I called you four here. As the ones sort of in charge of this, I think we really need to talk about how to get them interested."

Sam's attention returned to the group, and he made a suggestion. "I'm thinking we should probably do what we did last time. It worked well for a long while."

Though the others seemed confused, Jeremy caught up with what the Ice Trainer said. "Oh, right. We could always do that!"

Rach looked at Jay and Sam. "Huh? Uhh... What do you guys mean by that..?" The other two looked at them as well.

Samuel nudged Jeremy, and he began to explain. "You guys do remember what we did last time, right? You know, adding a gimmick. We can do that again."

"Heh, good idea. What gimmick do we do though? It's not like we can do the dangerous shit like megas. And we can't do teras, we already have that.", Roderick asked.

A few seconds of silence pass, and Rachel seemed to smile as she came up with an idea. "We can do double battles! Uhhh, well... like an optional thing people can do."

This suggestion seemed to be met with a lot of interest, as the group unanimously agreed with her. Even the introvert of the group, Kevin, was not too opposed to the idea.

Rachel then pulled out a notebook from her bag, starting to write down notes for the plan. "Alright, we should assign who would be partnered up with who. I'll let you guys talk it out over the week, and you can just text me about your decision.

But as for me..."

Rachel locked eyes with Jeremy.

"I've made my choice.", she says, with a grin.

Jeremy looked slightly embarassed, but he couldn't help but be flattered. "...Me?"

Rachel nods her head, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Well, yeah. I mean, you've been... really helpful when it comes to keeping the club up, and I... couldn't think of anyone else that I'd be glad to do doubles with."

Jeremy's face started to flush a bit, as he felt even more flattered and embarassed at the same time. "Oh... thank. you... I'm fine with that. I won't let you down.", he says, nodding quickly.

Rachel smiles. "Heheh... I know you won't."

I know you, and you'd never let anyone down... right?

[thessalian]

Thess vs Fatigue

Update on my stupid pain spike - I am improving, but slowly. Mostly things are down to a dull ache. There are occasional stabs but they're duller now. And I am so. Fucking. Tired.

Funnily, it was the occupational health assessor I talked to way back when I was getting accommodations for work (and still fighting for work from home) who got me to understand this whole "being fucking exhausted" thing. Yeah, part of it's just fibro fatigue, but not all of it. What she said to me was, "You're fighting pain all the time. Of course you're tired!" Which ... honestly makes me feel better about the whole thing. I haven't just been sitting down, lying down, and doing occasional chores. I have been doing all of those things while also fighting through pain. That is exhausting. Pain itself is exhausting.

(I mean, I still don't like being exhausted on top of being in significant pain. It's not that kind of acceptance. It's just ... knowing why helps a bit.)

I think the worst part about the whole thing is that I had two days off that I wanted to use having some fun. Playing video games. Cooking nice things. Stuff like that. But I haven't had the energy all that much. I did have nice food, but that was the easiest nice food I could manage (pork fajitas on Thursday, prawn fajitas last night). Which ... I mean, nice, but not entirely what I wanted.

Then again, I have three more days in which to make nice things if I can manage it. In fact, I kind of have to, since I have stuff that I don't want to spoil before I can cook with it. I have stuff for chicken risotto, which I will have to make now that I have the white wine, the bacon lardons, and some veg (asparagus and frozen peas). I still have my pork shoulder to roast, but that can wait a bit. Baking is kind of a no-go right now, but at least I have treats. I have Sour Patch Kids still, and fudge, and cookies from last week.

Also I have to repot some of my plants. My stevia and feverfew in particular require spaaaaaaace.

AND I STILL WANT TO PLAY HORIZON FORBIDDEN WEST.

Right. I will see how much I can actually get done without killing myself. See how many spoons I have for the rest. But my plants deserve better than another week in little propagator pots.

[ladylilithprime]

20 Fanfic Questions

I was tagged by @jazzforthecaptain for this right when I'm supposed to be going to bed. -_-U

How many works do you have on AO3?

172 currently posted, more to be imported and uploaded shortly....

What’s your total AO3 words count?

716,745 as of right now....

What fandoms do you write for?

Whew..... uh, lessee, Supernatural, Marvel Comics/MCU, Harry Potter, Animorphs, Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Little Mermaid, Gundam Wing, Smallville/DC Comics, Highlander, Star Trek, The Sentinel, Stargate SG1, Star Wars, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Sailor Moon, Tomorrow People (New/90s Series), Fullmetal Alchemist, Gravitation, Yami no Matsuei, Weiss Kreuz, Ranma ½, Pirates of the Caribbean, Good Omens, Firefly, Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings et al, Daria, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Phineas and Ferb, Danny Phantom, ElfQuest, Rise of the Guardians, How To Train Your Dragon, El Goonish Shive (don't tell Dan!), Transformers, YURI!!! On Ice, Speed Racer..... uh, yeah, I think I'm forgetting some... or not mentioning them for Reasons.......

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

More Worthy Than Believed (MCU, Gen, Tony-centric, vague IronHawk)

Only Different In The Details (MCU, IronHawk plus Avengers ensemble)

Hel Hath Nick Fury (MCU, Nick Fury/Hela aka Darcy Lewis)

The Shadow You Cast Over Me (MCU, Gen, Tony-centric, unrequited Steve/Tony)

Broken Hallelujah (Supernatural, Sastiel)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Short answer is that I try to? I want to respond to comments, but sometimes I'm out of spoons and it takes me a while to work up the spoons to answer, and sometimes the comment is a demand for an update on a fic I just posted a new chapter for and I lose the motivation to write anything at all for a couple days because gods, I'm thrilled y'all enjoy my stuff but damned if I've usually got the time and energy to write fanfic around Real Life!

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably a toss up between The Shadow You Cast Over Me and A Wish Your Heart Makes. (If you didn't guess one of those, uh, well... ~offers tissues~)

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh, hell, good luck trying to pin that one down! Seriously, I can't pick, go look for yourself.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not...exactly? I mean, I once got some dumbass complaining in the comments of my clearly tagged WinterIron soulmate AU that he wanted to read WinterWindow and "not this gay shit", which, dude, we're on AO3, not FanFiction.Net, the fic was very clearly tagged and you still clicked on it, so you reading "that gay shit" is all on you, buddy. Also, same fic, someone decided that because I talk about Natasha and Yasha being familiar with borscht that I was a Russian Imperialist? I dunno, people are weird.

Do you write smut. If so what kind?

.....Yes, hello, any kind of smut I write that's actually explicit rather than kept vague or Fade To Black has a separate psued. Click at your own risk, not that I have much posted there yet.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Hmmmm.... Do I have to stick with fics that I've posted and can provide links to? I've got a LOT of crossovers that either aren't posted yet or haven't been moved over to AO3 and tracking down the links on the wider web and defunct archives is difficult.... so, I'll just cop to Lethally Blonde, the MCU/stealth-Tropic Thunder crossover, for right now.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Sort of? Someone stole a segment of "More Worthy Than Believed" wholesale and tried to pass it off as theirs a few years back, but it got discovered pretty quickly by folks who'd read the original.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't know? I think someone offered to translate one of my older fics once, but I don't know if anything came of it.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I'm listed as a collaborator for The Cadbury'verse, but aside from Bang collabs and the vague plans @rodiniaorzetalthepenquin and I have plotted about at three AM that result in one or the other of us writing fics in the same narrative universe, I don't have any posted cowritten fics.

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

~thousand-yard-stare at the above list of fandoms~ .....could you be more specific?

What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Dude, I just updated Only Different In The Details with a new chapter and the last update previously was in 2013! If the fic isn't marked as complete, it'll get finished eventually. (Or I'll die, but it's more likely the fic gets finished before then.)

What are your writing strengths?

World-building. I seriously LOVE world-building, and I really enjoy writing full AUs that really let me flex that!

What are your writing weaknesses?

.....forward planning. I can't seem to do it with any kind of reliability or regularity, and trying to write an outline is a scholastic exercise in futility, not to mention all the times I've gone looking for notes or scene snippets I could have sworn I wrote down or typed into chat somewhere and apparently sharing the vivid fever dream images in my head was yet another dream. On the other hand, I remember three different versions of those scenes in vivid technicolor, so I just have to pick one instead of starting three new WIPs.....

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

This is honestly why I'm slowly teaching myself seven different languages, and you can bet I prefer having a beta for those segments who is a native speaker. (Harder for Latin, Quenya, Vulcan, and Enochian, admittedly....)

First fandom you wrote for?

Trick question. The first fandom I ever wrote for and posted online was Animorphs, but I was writing fanfic as far back as second grade for Disney movies and the Sweet Valley Universe nominally by Francis Pascal. (Yes, I still have those notebooks. No, they will not be transcribed and archived online.)

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Always the fic I haven't written yet. Always. What I think is my favorite now will not likely still be my favorite next year, maybe not even next month! Hell, I can't even pick a favorite out of the ones I have posted to AO3 right this second! But then, isn't that part of the fun part of writing?

Tagging.... @rodiniaorzetalthepenquin , @karategirl80 , @slytherkins , @youarentreadingthis , @sageclover61 , @hyrulehearts1123 , and @mrswhozeewhatsis . Have fun!

[kulvefaggoth]

Can't play wilds wf update is not coming until the second half of march i can feel my mental health actively get worse while playing ESO my therapist that i haven't seen since december was supposed to see me this week but there was an issue and now she'll only see me two weeks from now still too dysphoric and self conscious to actually do something fun on carnaval and i'm feeling lonely and needy as fuck but can't do anything about it life remains stagnated bc i don't have the spoons to do anything meaningful since i'm beyond depressed plus also i haven't had a single thing go my way this year yet

Like. What am i supposed to feel. I feel like trash. Like absolute dog shit. I feel like such a fucking failure in every single way. Why is life like this. Why am i like this. Tired doesn't even begin to cover what i'm feeling i see no fucking point in anything

[yagurlhere]

Context:

WARNING: TORTURE, DEATH, AND SUICIDE!

I literally looked I think two stories down and I found a fanfic about five II characters getting kidnapped and tortured while the others tried to find them. The ones who were taken were Balloon, Suitcase, Fan, Lightbulb, and Silver Spoon, and it was said there was gonna be major character death. It was horrifying, yet there's only 11 Chapters so far. (I think it updated last recently.) I really don't like these types of fics in general, and I also wish I saw more of the others looking for them showing more stress or worry, cause it seemed like Paintbrush was the only one and maybe even OJ were shown or implied to be stressed and scared about the situation, or maybe it's just cause I skimmed over and I haven't exactly fully read it yet. Like, I don't think I saw a lot of text from Test Tube showing her stressed but trying her best, since two of her CLOSEST FRIENDS Fan and Lightbulb got taken, although I think she built a machine to find them, and got into nerdy rambles with Cabby, (they actually called it that in the fic, I think,) and that feels so OOC (the less stress part) cause have you SEEN her in S2 Ep. 14!? Especially that Fan and Lightbulb are probably next to be tortured! But again I did skim through it so maybe I missed something. Anyways, it said Hurt/Comfort, so even if we had the characters comforting the kidnapped ones after rescuing them, the fanfic still...just...I don't like the premise.

I'm not naming the author or the title, so PLEASE DO NOT WITCHUNT.

NGL, this ranting reminded me of another fanfic I wanted to talk about. It was a sad one where Paintbrush killed themself and Fan was feeling guilty and OJ was getting upset and more snappy, and during a Chapter, Test Tube comforted Fan, and it was sweet, and like, had a deep conversation and reassurance with him, and the next Chapter Fan died, and Test Tube was mad at OJ cause he was basically the cause (OJ was gonna kill himself but Fan tried to stop him and then the gun shot him) which is understandable but we don't get anymore emotions after that. No reactions after regarding her reaction to Fan's death. Like, no other details of perhaps her finally coming to terms with it after and she's upset, but she's starts breaking down and has to accept that he's dead and she'll never see him again, cause it focuses more on OJ getting arrested and going to therapy and Paper and him being all sad only to finally reunite at the end, so they have a mostly-happy-ending, yet Test Tube is left in the background to just, COPE with Fan's death...

[thedivinershiddenarchive]

I noticed you write for Capitano and I thank you for that QwQ Can I request Cupid's weapon to be the R6 Compound Bow ? Capitano and reader had a lot of time together when he abducted her, and she started to develop Stockholm Syndrome not long after she got captured. Despite being in an unhealthy relationship, she's really loyal + almost obedient to Capitano and he might be soft on her from time to time because of this???

For kinks, perhaps some praising, dirty talk, and very mild degration? I hope it's okay for the AU to lean a biit on the softer side but not too soft?? I've just been finding extreme ones and seeing a bit of softness from him whilst being a yan would be nice q-q;

Have fun with this!

CHARACTERS; Yandere!Capitano x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY; You haven't seen your friends or family in a long time. It could have been years. You have no idea; only Capitano knows when he kidnapped you. Is it wrong for you to be grateful for him doing so? All you had to do was obey the masked man like a pet. And in return, he will lavishly reward you. You can't get enough of him, and you can't let him go. He can't either. It's almost as if the both of you were addicted.

CONTENT; kidnapper/victime troupe, stockholm syndrome, praise/(little)degradation kink, dirty talk, unhealthy relationships, possesiveness/overprotectiveness, violence/fighting, usage of "good girl/sweet girl/sweetheart", yandere themes, capitano being a bit rough and harsh to reader, reader calls capitano "sir".

A/N; this is the first ever interesting ask for the event i've gotten and i love the concept. tysm anon for requesting this and i hope you like what i've wrote! (update: i actually had a lot of fun writing this and felt such in depth to it!)

cupid's dilemma: valentine's madness | masterlist | tag system

It's been a while since you've last seen your hometown. Your family, friends, literally anyone you loved before you got here. A dark home in the middle of nowhere with the coldest breeze you’ve ever felt. You’ve never felt an ounce of warmth ever since you were kidnapped, the only warmth you’ve ever been engulfed with was the big armored man who he calls himself “Capitano”.

The only sun you were able to see even if he resembled the moon more. But his touch was like fire when he didn’t wear his armor, one that might’ve burned you but it didn’t. He was your only source of fervor you’ve ever had in a long time. He was the only one to fit your needs.

You’d wait for him, no matter how long it was. Be it the whole cold season in Snezhnaya or simply a week after. For how long he’s left you in this dark cabin, you would’ve escaped by then when he came back. But you didn’t. You don’t know your way out of the nation and in the end he’ll come to find you and take you back.

It was funny, really. The moment your blindfold was taken off and landed eyes on the man in front of you, your mind became too busy comprehending what was going on to even eat the spoon full of soup he was trying to feed you.

You hadn't even been with him a week and you were clinging to him like a leech, not that he minded. It made it easier for him to care for you without you acting scared or making a scene.

And it was easier for him to show you affection when you behaved. He didn’t teach you anything yet and you were obedient like a dog following commands. Each order he gives you, you immediately follow. Even if it was in exchange for an ounce of his love. That’s the point of your life now, anyway. Being his beloved to keep forever.

You haven't been outside in a long time. Capitano has been extremely protective of you, refusing to even let you step on the snow, but since it was a special reward for his girl because you've been loyal and didn't appear to have any bad intentions of leaving him even if he gave you a minute to be alone.

It was the first time you felt happy about going out and spending more time with the armored man. He was no fool to let you wander around without having your wrist chained to his arm in case you got lost because he wasn't paying a good amount of attention to you.

By the end of the day, you adventured back to your cabin with the widest grin you could’ve mustered. He was surprised to see you really happy. He didn’t have a single thought of blaming himself, too blinded by the fact he’s broken you a bit by trapping you inside for a long period of time.

Though the moment would’ve lasted longer if it weren’t for a few bandits getting in your path. Capitano sensed danger so he placed an arm in front of you to protect you. He lets out a low “Stay back,” before he wields his weapon in front of him. “Don’t go running away from me.” with that, you walked back for a bit. Enough that you wouldn’t get hurt from him fighting off the crooks.

The sight had your breathing go rapid. You were scared but you don’t know what to do. You shouldn’t be scared, you know he’s a strong man, strong enough to take care of a few weak bandits.

You’ve heard it before. You’ve heard how the people distanced themselves from Capitano when you were walking around the shops, how they whispered about him. You know better that people shouldn’t disrespect Harbingers, and whispering about them was a part of that. Knowing Capitano was a Harbinger was nothing shocking to know about.

The Fatui badge he had on his coat said it all, and knowing him, you’d expect him to have a high-ranking and respected role.

You were standing right in front of a man whose armor was stained with blood. You weren't worried anymore, knowing he wasn't hurt and that he had enough knowledge to survive a battle unharmed. If you even call that a battle.

He sheathed his weapon back to where it belongs, walking right up to you and engulfing you into an embrace. You didn’t hesitate to wrap your arms around him and lean your head into his plated chest.

His armor dropped on the cold wooden floor and you sat in front of him on the bed. Never has he asked you to clean up the mess he’s made, the blood he has shed. It felt wrong exposing you to this but seeing that you were unfazed by all of it, he takes it into consideration and deals with it his way.

“You don’t have anything to wear for tomorrow, dear.” you stated.

“A little blood doesn’t stop me from using it.” You laughed inside, a little, huh? In his eyes, it wasn’t a big of a mess. Unlike yours, it’s like you witnessed a whole massacre.

“You should worry about yourself.” he turns to you, discarding his chest plate and placing it on the corner. 

“I listened to what you did and was left unharmed. They didn’t leave even a single scratch on me.” you responded nonchalantly.

“Even if you were, I wouldn’t forgive myself.” the tall man miffed, now sitting next to you, caressing your cheek with his palm. The pad of his thumb brushing the bottom of your eyelids, making you lean into his touch. “Won’t forgive myself..”

You didn’t see how he lifted his mask a little, feeling his lips tickle your neck. You slowly snaked your arms around his neck and slanted your head back for him to have more access to your neck.

Never have you done this… Well, you have, but not with Capitano. He’s been way too busy so you were left to play with yourself. You may be patient but you couldn’t help but admit you miss his touches. But here he was now, caressing your body so diligently like if he made one wrong move, you’d shatter.

He carefully pushes you on the bed and continues kissing your body, he harshly clutches the fabric of your shirt, signaling you to take it off in which you oblige. You’ve never seen him watch your bare chest in awe (even behind the mask), it makes you a bit nervous since this was your first time with him.

“Be gentle, please.”

“I’ll do what I want with you.” he buries his face against your breasts, you moaned silently and snuggled against the pillow. His touches were really like fire, but more fiery and it roared. You were desperate for them but you don’t wanna seem bratty about it.

He pulls away from you, taking off his mask and throwing it firmly against the floor, creating a clunking sound because of the metal. You looked up at him in wonder at the sight of his face. You will admit you were quite foreign to the concept of him being unmasked but you weren’t against it.

Capitano leans in and gives you permission for your hands to wander his body, his face, his scars. You smiled in adoration at the sight, you asked for approval to kiss him, and he nodded. Sitting down in front of you with your legs straddling his lap. His hand is comfortably placed on your hips to position you properly.

A groan rumbled through his chest when you kissed his neck, more specifically, a sensitive spot on it. You were taken aback when he clasped around your body strongly but soon weakened and caressed your back, beckoning you to continue.

“Sorry,” he mutters.

“It’s… Fine.” you consoled, returning to your current actions and kissing his misty skin. He sighs in content, you weren’t surprised at how quiet it is when he was making sounds of pleasure. You know how much he wanted to seem tough, even behind closed doors but you couldn’t change that, hell, you don’t want to change that. You loved him the way he was.

“More.” the man emitted and draws you away from his neck. His eyes darkened, desperate for more than you can give. His lips tipped to yours, engulfing them into a kiss. You didn’t know you were holding your breath until now, your eyes lidded a bit before fully closing them. Enjoying the warmth of his lips.

He laid you down again, tapping your thigh, gesturing you to spread your legs in which you did. The tall man didn’t waste no time taking off your pants and underwear.

Capitano laughed a bit when you looked away and tried to bind your legs together but his grip on your thighs were too strong, allowing him to crawl on top of you, your hips connected to each other.

Your eyes gaze at his hand palming his tented crotch before pulling his pants and underwear down, revealing his cock. He hears you gulp in anticipation, guessing that you were nervous to be filled by something big. He can’t blame you, it would take quite a painful stretch to fit all of it inside of you.

“You can take it like the good girl you are, right?”

You mumbled a response that he couldn’t quite comprehend because you were so quiet about it but looking at your eyes, how they begged for him. The man assumes you’ll be able to take him, despite its size.

He preps you up by inserting his lengthy finger inside of your tight pussy, you whine at the feeling as he starts thrusting them into you. He grunts when he feels you clench around it, “How dirty, already addicted to my fingers simply being inside you?”

You hummed, not able to make out any words from the pleasure you were experiencing. “Feels good, hm?” Capitano laughs quietly at your face, flushed red from how good you felt.

“Just wait till you feel my cock instead.” His words made you clamp on his digits, he’s never been this dirty before and you were quite foreign to the feeling of it. Though it felt good having him dominating you.

“Want it now, sir..” you whined.

“The last thing I want is for you to stop complaining to me that you can’t take me in. No matter how painful it is, I’m not stopping unless it’s necessary. You don’t want that now, do you?” the man growls on your stomach.

You know he cares for you as much despite his tough character. His hand on your stomach can feel you tense up at him when he pushes his fingers deeper. “Are you this sensitive? It hasn’t even been that long.”

“‘M sorry, sir.. Feels too good.” you moan softly, holding his free hand on your belly tightly. The pad of his thumb caresses your palm, “I know. So let yourself go for me.”

You grind your hips against his digits, slowing down each time you grow close to your peak. Your legs visibly shake before collapsing a bit on the bed when your visions blurs and colors brighten. You can hear Capitano’s deep chuckle, his fingers still inside of your dripping hole before giving it a few thrusts and drawing them out.

“You look so cute when you’re dumb for me.” He stares at you in awe when you don't say anything despite your hardest to speak with your mouth moving. 

“Is this your first time?”

“N-No, it’s just been a very long while. I haven’t felt this good.” you snuggled into his chest when he caged you in his arms, his large hand cupped the back of your head to rest his chin on it. “I'm the only one who'll make you feel good. And whoever had you before me, I'll find them. Make them regret to even lay a hand on you in the first place.”

He squeezes your thighs before placing them on your chest. Your dripping cunt fully exposed for him. You looked away when his eyes gazed at your clit and to your eyes, he grabs your wrists and holds both of them with one hand over your head.

“Look at me.”

Those words alone stopped you from looking at something else that isn’t him. He seems a bit irritated and you lowkey don’t want to frustrate him more. He pulls your hips close to his, his cock brushing your cunt, staining it with his precum.

“It’ll be fine, trust me for once.” he whispers. You did, you always did. You fully committed yourself to him but he needed more.

“You’re too big, sir. I don’t know if I can take that…”

He sighed and look into your eyes deeply, “I’ll only put the tip in. Unless you want me to go deeper.” he assures you. You gulped but nodded for him to continue. He tells you to take a deep breath in which you do, only for it to be instantly exhaled when he enters his mushroom tip in. “Shit, I’m not fully in and you’re clenching around me..”

The stretch was painful, you were thankful he was considerate to go a bit gentle with you, just not enough to lighten the pain.

As he promised, he didn’t go deeper but your whimpers and soft sounds were making it hard for him to stop himself from slamming his whole length into you. “Deeper, please.” you said softly, it didn’t even take him a second before his hips were plush against yours. “Fuck…”

He groaned at your sudden tightness, he felt good before but it felt so much better now. Capitano took a look at your face and couldn’t help but smirk at how blissful you were, the way your wet pussy was sucking him in after the impact of his thrust.

“Gonna move, okay?”

You only responded with a nod, too focused on the pleasure you were feeling on your bottom parts. He took it slow at first but he set a pace that went faster and faster to the point your breasts were jiggling with each thrust.

Each snap of his hips to yours were harsh and deep, the tip of his cock kissing every sensitive spot you didn’t know were there. Capitano palmed around the bump on your stomach, a guttural groan can be heard as he presses the pad of his thumb on it.

“Feel how deep I am, sweet girl? I bet that pussy of yours loves the way it sucks me up.”

You gabbled, satisfying the man. He was proud of how vulnerable you are now, how stupid you are when his cock is fathomless inside of you. His touch was always gentle, especially when handling you, feeding you, or simply snuggling into you after a harsh battle. 

He didn’t want to frighten you whatsoever. I mean, he needed a way for you to let your guard down when it comes to him ever since he kidnapped you, and acting tender was one way to do it. He had to make you feel guilty if you ever left him so you can come back crawling for him, which unsurprisingly worked.

But in this situation, it was different. His grasp was so cruel on your hips that you were sure it would leave crescent markings from his nails. Capitano was letting out every single hint of anger possible and using you for his pleasure, as if you weren’t worth anything but his stupid toy.

While you on the other hand had your mind fogged from how fulfilling your pussy feels with his dick inside of you. Your body squirming from his length alone.

He pulls out before crashing into you again, causing you to gasp. “You just clenched around me. Do you love how fucking slutty you are just for my cock?” he mocks, gripping your chin and connecting your saliva stained lips into his.

He swallowed your loud and high-pitched moans that had him go harder on you. The sounds that you make turns him on even more, knowing that he was the one that made you this way. “You feel so fucking good. You're so dirty like this.” he groans into your lips, his pace slowing down as he feels himself managing his high.

“Shit, I'm close. You better come with me, sweetheart.” Capitano whispers and you let out a whimper. He swirled his tongue against yours, sucking it, making you moan. “You’re gonna take every drop of my cum inside of this pussy of yours.”

That alone made you much wetter than you were before, you love the idea of him claiming and emptying himself inside of you. He notices this and smiles a bit against the skin of your neck.

“Ah, fuck ‘m cumming. Be a good fucking girl and take it for me.” he murmurs, unloading his seed inside of your hole. He continues with his forceful ramming, determined to keep his cum deep inside of your pussy. You throw your head back and wail in ecstasy as you cream around his length. Letting out hiccups while your pussy drinks him dry.

Capitano’s thrusts faltered, only left with his crotch grinding against yours. You mewl, feeling sensitive from his light plunges. He soon pulls out, watching the way his seed oozes out of you, dripping onto the sheets and staining them with your mixed cum.

He pulls you close to his chest, causing you to snuggle up onto him. The man sighs and places a firm kiss on your forehead, in which you suspire in response to his gentle touch.

“Just rest. I’ll clean up for tonight.” he puts a strand of your hair away and admires your tired face of euphoria, sweat drenching your look despite the cold atmosphere.

"I can help."

"No." a harsh and dark glare was thrown at you, but they soon soften when he sees you frown a bit. "No, you're tired and you need to relax. I'm more than capable of dealing with this mess, so don't worry about me." that alone calmed you down a bit, letting yourself lay on him as your eyes droop a bit.

You smile tiredly and he leans in with your lips plushing against his. The moment he pulled out, you were already sleeping comfortably against the pillows. Capitano slowly took you into his embrace and carried you to the nearby couch of the bed, drooping your body with a blanket to keep you warm as he cleaned up the mess on the bed and rubbed your bare body with a warm wet cloth.

He dresses you up in one of his big shirts and shorts and nestles into you, warming you up with his body heat with the blanket over the both of you. 

You were a dear to him, a precious treasure for him to forever admire and keep. He couldn’t get enough of you and neither can you with him. Your touches, kisses, and affectionate words you’d give to him, they were the reasons he kept you locked up for an incredibly long time.

After all those long days and weeks of having you inside, he finally had you wrapped around his finger fully, and he'll use that as an advantage. His beloved was finally his, Capitano didn't have to do much work anymore for you have finally committed yourself to him.

You were addicted to him like drugs, and he is too. More than you think.

© notsodivininglover 2023. reposting, plagiarizing, translating or claiming my works are strictly forbiddened.

[sharkbait77]

Lex congrats on your 400 & many more!!! 🕺🏻✨

May I request from Prompt list #1: “It’s pouring rain why are you here?” + Ezra (just because i’m in love with ur Ezra from The Sun Sets With You)

WELL WELL WELL look who is so awfully late with this request (all of them, really 🤦🏽‍♀️) This once knocked around my head for a while, not gonna lie, cuz I wanted to do a fic set in Ezra's universe & I've seen so many done for when he comes back to Reader after the events of Prospect, but I truthfully haven't seen any for before he leaves, so this came out! Once I reread the final product I really liked it so I hope you enjoy! And thank you so much for being so patient! 🥺 And I hope the length makes up for me being so late with it 🥹

I labeled it gender neutral but please let me know if it seems more feminine & I will update! Title & Reader's nickname taken from the song Starlight by Muse (I love & I think the song could actually fit this situation 🙃). I guess you could say they were my muse 😏

Our Hopes and Expectations (Ezra x gn!Reader)

Rating: T

Warnings: Angst, language, food mention

W/C: 3.1k

Masterlist || Taglist || AO3

The birds chirping their joyful, morning song blended with the warm, golden rays of the rising sun is enough to wake you naturally. You breathe in the air of a new day, stretching your stiff limbs across your large bed; too large for only you, but you haven’t had the courage to toss it and start over with a new, smaller sized one. Will you ever? Maybe. But the days pass with you pondering the option, and they always end with you crawling into that same too-large-for-only-you bed.

As your naked feet hit the slightly cooler wooden floors, it helps you awaken fully, and you rise, stretching out once again as your arms reach to the ceiling, and you sigh deeply. You turn to face the sheets, shaking them out and fluffing the pillows back to neatness, then you tuck the blankets into the sides of the frame until the whole bed is made.

It feels bare to you; only the sheets and a top, warmer blanket across the mattress, two long pillows resting against the headboard. Once you broke the habit of piling on unnecessary decorative pillows and quilts that are only meant to cover the bottom of the bed, you couldn’t find it in you to start that up again. He never did like all those ‘redundant hard pillows’ and ‘impractical itchy blankets’.

The memory makes you puff out a small laugh through your nose and you mark a mental tally on your scoreboard that reads How Many Times You Thought Of Him Today. You shake your head and turn to face your wardrobe, finding nothing to wear in your copious articles of clothing until settling on a forest green Henley from his side of the closet. Tally number two.

You accept defeat on the goal of going one whole day of not conjuring up a memory of him through every single thing you do and move along to the kitchen, breaking out your tea box and scanning through which one sounds most pleasant. You settle for pomegranate cinnamon, a tea that definitely did not mingle with your taste buds at first, but you have slowly grown accustomed to.

You place the kettle on one of the stovetop burners, turning the knob and it clicks until a flame bursts from beneath. While you wait for the water to boil, you grab your teapot, a mug from the cabinet, and a spoon from the drawer, opening your tea bag and scooping some into the infuser nestled inside the ceramic teapot. You reach for the sugar bowl and, to your disappointment, find it empty. Exhaling in frustration, you remember that the item at the top of your next grocery list was sugar. He always did tease about your inability to refill the sugar bowl before it ran out.

Deciding that you wouldn’t be able to properly enjoy your tea without sugar – something you experimented with before and knew since to always add sugar – you begrudgingly conclude you need to visit the market down the road. You leave everything prepared as it is on the counter, turn off the stove, and head to the front door. Once you grab your keys and purse from the entry table, you open the door and stop in your tracks as you look outside in awe at the sudden rainfall you had no idea was happening. The sun still shines and there are no clouds in the sky; it’s as if this strange weather is an omen, foreshadowing that today will not be like any other day.

You grab an umbrella that you haven’t needed for a couple of months now from its resting place and point it just outside your door frame, popping it open and holding it upright as you take your first step out the door. You listen to the rain hitting the nylon material protecting you. The pitter patter creates enough music to accompany you on your trek that it doesn’t make you regret bringing your headphones. You notice, however, the rain begins to fall down harder and you pick up the pace in your steps, hoping to get to the market quickly and return home even faster.

The covered market comes into view as well as the fellow townspeople, just in time as the trickle of rain becomes a downpour. You keep your head down once you close your umbrella, hoping to avoid any mundane conversations to further expedite your trip, though the good natured part of you still can’t help but reply to whoever calls out a ‘good morning’ in your direction. You quickly find the different sacks of sugar and pick out one that suits your needs, rushing to the cashier with payment in hand. You can almost taste the tart of the pomegranate and the spice of the cinnamon dancing on your tongue.

Once you’ve finished your transaction, you turn in the direction that you came and make your way through the market once more to head home. Suddenly, a feeling washes over you, a small voice in your head telling you to look up as you sense a familiarity in the air. As soon as your head is back in an upright position, your eyes instantly catch on the target your instinct was telling you to find: a tall man in a dark coat. He’s turned away from you and you see he has a rucksack strapped to his broad back and he has a head of shaggy black hair.

From this perspective, he looks like any ordinary man, but deep down you know it’s the most unique man in your life. You gravitate towards him, an invisible rope tied around your waist and he’s the man operating the pulley, closing the distance between you two despite your best efforts. The world around you fades away; no sounds of people chattering or coins jingling or rain falling penetrating your eardrums. Finally, you find yourself nearly right up against his back and fight the urge to reach out and touch him for a guarantee that he isn’t an apparition.

“Ezra?” You call out to the man and when he turns in your direction, you confirm to yourself it is your love returned.

“Ah… Starlight,” he grins, a charming grin, as if the time that has come to pass has suddenly vanished and all is right again. “It’s pouring rain, why are you here?”

You scoff, the excitement of seeing him melting away, leaving anger and frustration at the forefront. For the time being, his nonchalant remark of concern is enough for you to respond coolly.

“I could ask you the same question,” you snark and he’s visibly taken aback.

“I…” He speaks softly, so quiet you almost can’t hear him over the pattering of rain against the tin covering above your heads. “I had hoped I would remember the path to you, my Starlight.”

“And you have,” you reply in a whisper. As of right now, you’re not sure if he deserves a slap in the face or a warm embrace.

The silence between the two of you is awkward, to say the least. You long to run into his arms, to inhale his deep, woody and spicy scent until it’s all that fills up your senses. However powerful that need is, you also feel equally as strong that you deserve all the explanation he has for leaving so suddenly. For leaving you and the life he supposedly couldn’t wait to build with you.

“More sugar?” He chuckles as he points out the small sack you carry in your arm; an attempt to break the tension, no doubt. He shakes his head and looks to the gravel beneath his boot. “You always did wait until the last granule beckoned you to the market once again.”

You catch the small laugh that threatens to exit your mouth; how can someone who knows you so well – who knows all your quirks and habits – just leave the way he did? You try your best to be strong, the anxiety of your next words flooding your mind until you push yourself to say them aloud.

“Well, I better get back home. It was nice to see you, Ezra.” You move past the man, showing him your back just as he did to you some weeks – months? – ago and are barely able to make it two steps away before he calls out to you again.

“Starlight,” his given name for you from his lips in that low, rumbling tone freezes your feet where you stand, but you don’t turn to look at him again. “May I join you? Can I come home?”

“That depends, Ez. Will you stay this time?” You ask quietly as you gain the courage to look at his face.

Ezra opens his mouth to respond then looks around at his surroundings and the people walking close by as they go about their shopping before locking his eyes to yours once again.

“I’ll explain more… Please,” he nearly begs with his eyes, the same look he always gave you when he tried to get what he wanted. You hate that you fall for it each time.

“Fine,” you breathe out and turn on your heels, heading in the direction of your house once again. “No umbrella?” You ask him as you reach the end of the market, preparing to open yours once again.

“I am woefully unprepared, but I’m sure I can manage fine,” he grins and you nearly swoon.

You nod and continue as you were, almost pretending that the man you had dreamed of seeing again wasn’t currently behind you. He dawdles behind your fast paced steps, stopping every so often to comment on the flora and fauna that has changed during his absence, but you don’t wait or slow down for him, chuckling softly to yourself as you hear the crunching of the gravel quickened as he catches up to you again.

The quaint cottage you and Ezra had once shared together comes into view just as the rain begins to dissipate. A light sprinkle is leftover and you decide to close up your umbrella for the remainder of your walk. Meanwhile, Ezra shakes off his coat from the rainwater that had gathered in the material during the walk. You hadn’t even noticed he took it off to use as a cover and you feel a small sense of guilt for not sharing your umbrella. You make your way down the pebbled path that cuts through your garden and to your door.

“Wow,” he breathes out. “The garden has grown so much; so many vegetables.”

“Yes, well… I had to pour my energy into something to stay busy,” you reply, looking straight on into his eyes to let him know the true reasoning behind the lusciousness of your garden. He understands, shifting nervously from one foot to the other and gripping the strap of his pack tightly.

“Come in,” you say as you open the door and step inside, standing in the frame as you wait for him to enter, and shutting it once he comes through.

You walk straight through to the kitchen to continue your quest of tea drinking and notice that Ezra stands awkwardly, like he’s unsure if he’s allowed to get comfortable here without your permission. You turn the stove on once again, the water in the kettle still warm from already having been boiled before. You turn to face Ezra and meet his gaze, a light flush creeping along the tops of his cheekbones when he sees you had just caught him watching you in the kitchen. You chuckle softly and gesture to a chair, offering for him to sit down. He smiles and nods his thanks, removing his pack and setting it, along with his coat, by the door and taking a seat.

“I was just making some tea. Would you like a cup?” You ask, the volume of your voice reverberating through the quiet home.

“I would love some. Thank you, Starlight,” he smiles and you nod, grabbing an extra mug and spoon for him.

While the water begins boiling again, Ezra regales you in his adventures with such ferocity that it begins sounding like he’s reciting an epic poem. The glint in his eyes proves to you where his true passions lie and you pretend you don’t feel saddened by that fact. While you hoped you could live a simple, quiet life with him, the call of adventure to him is a constant itch he cannot seem to scratch in order for him to finally stay. He catches on that his tales bring you sadness and it falls silent again for a moment.

“Is that my shirt you’re wearing?” He asks and your heart drops in embarrassment.

After you tried so hard to make it seem as if you weren’t interested in letting him back into your life, your appearance obviously proves otherwise. You don’t respond, redirecting your attention to refilling the sugar bowl, and Ezra notices you avoiding the topic.

“You redecorated,” he says as he looks around the kitchen and front living space.

“Here and there,” you nod, moving away from the counter and heading back to the stove as the kettle whistles. “Like I said, I had to stay busy somehow.”

“Well, it still feels like home,” he says underneath a smile and you softly laugh through your nose, the statement not seeming as sincere to you at the moment.

You prepare the two mugs of tea just as you did countless times before in the mornings and evenings, a small ritual you both kept to during your time together. Before his head became filled with thoughts of prospecting. Before he left this life for one of greed and betrayal. You shake your head slightly, attempting to release those negative thoughts, and you grab the mugs and head to the table.

“Mm… Pomegranate cinnamon. My favorite,” Ezra smiles warmly as he sniffs his mug. “Surprised to see you still drink it.”

“It slowly became my favorite, too.”

You sit down in a chair across from him at the table, both of you knowing what conversation needs to be had but neither of you knowing how to start it. You take a deep breath, releasing it with the intention to open your mouth and speak, but you chicken out in the end. You used to be able to speak to this man about anything, yet asking him this one little question gives you more anxiety than finding out the answer. Another deep breath.

“So… You’re back,” you finally speak, the tone of your voice remarking it almost as a question. He looks down at his mug.

“Yes, I-I’ve returned,” he replies, though he does not meet your gaze.

“I mean that… Are you finished?” You clarify, heart pounding as you wait for his answer that takes far too long to come.

“Well…” He trails off and you shut your eyes in disappointment. You lower your head as well. May as well rip off that proverbial band-aid.

“When?” You finally mutter.

“Tomorrow,” Ezra replies curtly, most likely knowing it wouldn’t do any good to sugarcoat the situation.

“Damn you, Ezra!” You muster up the strength to yell out, unleashing all the pent up frustration you’ve had at the same time. “Then why even bother showing up here? Just to take away my hope as soon as you give it?”

“I had to see you,” he says, those brown eyes turning down in sadness; a puppy dog gaze that he knows all too well works on you. Although the anger you feel is too strong to hold back now.

“I am not your marionette; you cannot keep me on these strings expecting me to wait around forever,” you say and stand from the table, admittedly a little more dramatic than you normally would act, but you hope the point comes across to Ezra in this way.

“Starlight, please try to understand.”

“No, Ezra, I don’t and never will understand,” you lean against the kitchen sink, supporting your weight with your hands as you hang your head, begging the tears not to flow. “I can’t – I will not keep doing this.”

“Doing what? Exactly what do you mean?” He asks, standing up as well to stand in the middle of the kitchen, getting closer to you while also respecting the space you want between you two. You scoff and face him.

“I mean…putting myself through this heartache. You leaving for months with no end in sight and then just popping back in my life with nothing to show for your disappearance.”

“Starlight,” Ezra begins softly, taking one more step closer to you and you let him. “I am, whether you’d like to believe me or not, doing this for us. For us to be able to live the life you long for.”

“No, Ezra, don’t blame me for that. Don’t pretend you do this for anyone except yourself,” you sneer and it’s obvious on his face that your words cut him. “I never needed any of it; I told you from the start. My life was fulfilled with you in it just as we were before.”

“Starlight, my love, please,” he steps forward, closing the space between you and grabbing your hands. “This one is the winner, I can feel it. And… I promise, it will be the finale.”

“You always say that,” you sigh, feeling the weight of his hands in yours; a feeling you won’t admit you missed. “But I can’t promise I’ll be here when you come back.”

“You always say that,” he chuckles and places his warm palms on either side of your face. “And where do I find you when I return?”

“I mean it this time,” you look into his eyes, your own welling to the brim with tears. “I mean all of it. Of what I said.”

“I see,” Ezra nods in understanding. “Then… I can only hope for your beautiful face to greet me when I land at your feet again.”

You curse the tears that fall from your eyes, a weakness you had begged yourself not to show him during your conversation. You lean into his touch slightly as he wipes the stream from your cheeks with his thumbs.

“Goodbye Starlight,” he says softly, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

He picks up his rucksack and slings it on his shoulder, and you watch him as he steps through the front door and out of your life once again. Your heart doesn’t hurt nearly as bad this time as you watch him walk down the path and you wonder if it’s because you’re used to the pain or because you know you didn’t mean a word you said.

~

Tags: @the-ginger-hedge-witch @pascalpanic @aliwritesfic @outercrasis @hnt-escape @winter-fox-queen @sarahjkl82-blog @pedrocentric @astoryisaloveaffair @amandalovess @foli-vora @lucrezia-thoughts @chasingdreamer @quica-quica-quica @mishasminion360 @wardenparker @fan-of-encouragement @javierpinme @writeforfandoms @ew-erin @you-got-me-starry-eyed @beskarboobs @andiesturgss @maryfanson @princessxkenobi @castleamc @magpie-to-the-morning @horton-hears-a-honk @radiowallet @stevie75 @honestly-shite @bison-writes @amneris21 @disgruntledspacedad @eri16 @tintinn16 @lowlights @fictitious-little-stitious @luz-introvertida @shadesofnerdlygrace

Ezra Prospect Tags: @quietpainter @grogusmum @tenderwhat

[hergan416]

AO3 (Writer) Wrapped 2022

Not sure where others are getting this, but I'm just aggregating it myself because I should have all this data anyway. I know how to get it and I don't write that much.

Alright! So far in 2022 I've written 25,107 words of fanfiction and posted it on AO3.

I also archived 12,438 words of Dorian Gray analysis, originally posted here on tumblr on AO3. (I haven't advertised this yet, but if you want to see the full tag archive it's here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43362990/chapters/109003806)

I feel comfortable with this. Last year I posted 22,881 words of fanfic alone, so I'm up, and that doesn't include the fact I've gotten back into roleplay and have been having some SERIOUS word count a paragraph at a time, no-pressure, no editing fun between friends in the last two months. (Or at least it feels like it. I don't really want to dig through discord and/or tumblr to verify.)

(Did I mention 2021? Look at last year's metrics.)

I posted 6 new stories (2 One Piece and 4 Yugioh) and continued 2 stories from last year.

Of the WIPS I mentioned last year I added to Seek and Ye Shall Find, posted the smut addition to my kidlaw one shot Conquest, and posted 3/4 chapters of the fic that had been delayed due to my concussion (the only part that hasn't been posted is what I had started pre-concussion, actually). I didn't update "The Fic That Shall Not Be Named" but I do still plan to... When I have spoons to deal with the graphic design elements of writing it.

I participated in two Yugioh fandom gift exchanges, and had a blast. I absolutely adored my prompts this year, especially the Dark Valentines of Dimensions exchange which I hadn't participated in before. I hope to participate again in 2023, but have to get time to read the prompt list and sign up.

I've seen people put their top fics by kudos/hits/etc. on these, but that's not really what I want to focus on. I'm going to put my top fics by my own metrics, how I feel about them now, regardless of stats.

Heartsick Rated: G(eneral) Prideshipping (Yami Yugi | Atem/Seto Kaiba) When Kaiba finally manages to pull Atem out of Aaru, they come back ten years later, in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic. This was an absolute blast to write. I got to play with Sugoroku's character, write some playful banter, and add in some Mokuba angst on the side.

Chronology: A Case Study Rated: M(ature) Prideshipping (Yami Yugi | Atem/Seto Kaiba) This was meant to be Kaiba's birthday fic last year, and I had to abandon it due to getting a concussion. I'm so proud of myself for not only having an outline of what happened when, but sticking to and with it. Granted I don't have the last chapter posted, but I have a fair amount worked on, and expect this fic to be finished early next year. The fic bounces across space and time, but only ever occurs on Kaiba's birthday, October 25, which is where it gets the title. While the fic suffers some minor continuity issues, the fact that I even stuck with a multiple chapter fic, even a short one is such an accomplishment for me.

Seek and Ye Shall Find Rated: M(ature) Chapter fic with no "main" pairing. There is, however, Violetshipping (Jounouchi Katsuya | Joey Wheeler/Seto Kaiba), Heartshipping (Ryou Bakura/Yugi Mouto) and unrequited Prideshipping (Yami Yugi | Atem/Seto Kaiba). This is my self-indulgent, Katakuri-centric Yugioh/One Piece crossover fic and honestly, I'm still super excited and stoked about it. It's the thing I have written the most for me of anything this year, even if it hasn't been updated in a minute. I do know how I'm pulling Katakuri out of Aaru and some of what I want to happen between him and Atem before I do. I just need to spend some time sitting down and writing it.

Thanks for reading, and for all the positive feedback on my writing. I feel so blessed to be a part of the fandom, especially the Dark Pride of Dimensions Prideshipping Discord server, the Truth or Dare Yugioh RP group, and a pair of small discord communities of One Piece fans. Thank you for being a part of my life.

[cozycris-blog]

[3:38 a.m.]

pairing: san x seosang

top: san

bottom: yeosang

genre: smut

words: 1463

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

yeosang mumbled to himself while staring at his computer screen. he took a quick sip of his cappuccino and shook his head.

"nope. it doesn't sound genuine enough," he sighed in disbelief and tapped the backspace key a few times to clear out the words he had typed.

waking up at three in the morning with a house full of seven crack heads is the worst decision yeosang has ever made. he would sit in his room writing a fanfic about two male kpop idols being a couple. he wouldn't talk about it to anyone. not even to wooyoung, his roommate.

the blonde yawned out of boredom and being tired and lightly scratched his cheek. looked at the time on the corner of his computer screen.

"three thirty-eight... and i still haven't posted anything in my writing account for a month, except for silly life updates," yeosang complained then closed his laptop and set it under his bed.

"i'm going to grab something to eat really quick. i'm hungry. maybe get another cup of cappuccino while i'm at it."

he quietly left the room and tip-toed to the kitchen. once yeosang made it there, he opened the cabinet of snacks and grabbed his two packs of dried, sea salted seaweed. he opened the other cabinet that was filled with coffee mugs of all kind. some being LGBT and BT21.

yeosang grabbed the shooky mug and set it on the kitchen counter. he opened the bin of coffee beans and poured a cup into the coffee machine, thankful that it wasn't empty. seonghwa and mingi went out grocery shopping recently and hongjoong, san, and wooyoung restocked everything after their necessary walmart run.

while turning on the grinding button, he heard soft taps from the hallway. a tired groaned followed by it.

"sangie," a voice groaned, sounding a little annoyed from the coffee machine being on, "we can't have coffee until six. what are you doing up at this time?"

yeosang looked over his shoulder to san. san was his best friend for five years and his lover for six months. the two met in high school months before graduation and college orientation. san was never the one to make fun of yeosang, unless he's done something weird or being effortlessly funny towards the roommates, and he can let someone be themselves.

he cleared his throat and added water to the boiling water kettle, making a cup for himself.

"i can't sleep. once i'm up, i have to do something like making coffee," the blonde simply answered, cautiously pouring water into the grinded coffee and mixing it with a spoon.

"it's been like for years. i tried counting sheep, but i am an adult. none of that crap works unless it's booze."

san let out a quiet chuckle and took a seat at the kitchen counter.

"well, you have me. you could've just asked for some cuddles. we all know you don't drink. you're a light weight for fuck sakes," he reminded.

"you never had a drink before. not even a fake daiquiri."

"and i don't plan to any time soon. i will forever be an uber to all of you drinkers, including jongho," the older added then stretched and rolled his shoulders while the coffee was brewing into the coffee jar.

"ouch. that hurts my feelings, sangie," san teased, getting up from the stool and walking over to the male. he circled his arms on yeosang's waist and swayed him to side to side, smiling fondly.

a deep red blush covered yeosang's face. he could feel one of san's hands going under his shirt, and his thumb gently pressed against yeosang's nipple, which caused him to let out a soft gasp and closed his eyes.

"s-san, baby, what're you — w-we can't. not right n-now," he whispered helplessly while san placed soft kisses on his neck and shoulder.

"please, yeosang. it's been weeks that we've done it. you've been avoiding me for too long, baby," the other whispered back.

the black and red haired male turned off the coffee machine and pressed his body against yeosang, his chest touching his back as his other hand pulled yeosang's pink lace panties down to his lower thighs. san scooped him up and took him to his bedroom, his foot pushing the door closed once they were in.

the two began making out passionately. yeosang's back against the wall while san held his wrists pin above his head with hand. yeosang moaned when felt precum dripping out of his tip.

"sannie, please, please," he whispered through the kiss as san pulled away to take yeosang's shirt off and cover his chest with hickeys and bites.

"come on, bunny. speak to me. what do you want me to do?"

yeosang felt chills going down on his back from the pet name. he has always been san's bunny. he was hardly a brat in the bed, unless he was impatient with the teasing.

"touch me, please. i need you inside me, san," he begged, rolling his hips against his boyfriend's.

"can i ride you, please? i've been good all day."

san groaned softly from the friction and nodded his head as his reply. how could he say no to an idea like that? what yeosang wants is what yeosang gets.

the couple pulled away and lied down on the bed. yeosang hurriedly took off san's sweatpants and boxers and handed him the condom. he stood on his patiently while san tore the package with his teeth and carefully slipped on the condom.

"are you prepped, bunny," he asked while yeosang sat on his lap and placed his hands on san's chest, straddling him.

"yes, i am. only for you, san."

"good job, bun. you're going to take my cock so well. you won't be walking for a week," san praised, making yeosang bite on his bottom at the idea.

yeosang positioned his hole to san's big cock and slowly slid down, letting out a broken moan. his nails dug onto san's skin while adjusting to his size. san held his waist and groaned at the friction.

maybe san was right. no. he was definitely. yeosang has been avoiding his and san's sexual needs for too long. all the working and errand runnings have took up so much of their time. they'll have to make it up by this and possibly going to breakfast and dinner.

"so tight ~ start moving, babe ~"

and yeosang did what he was told. he rode and bounced on san's cock like there was no tomorrow. the cal king size mattress squeaked, and head board thud against the wall over and over.

the two men were a hot mess. both of their sweaty bodies grinding up against each other, slobbily kissing and leaving marks on their skin that wouldn't leave in a day or two. san flipped yeosang and thrusted deeper inside him. his cock going in and out of yeosang's turning him on more and more till san hit yeosang's prostate.

"right there! right there, san! oh fuck~ 'm cumming," yeosang screamed in pure bliss, close to his orgasm.

a knot form inside san's stomach, and his thrusts became sloppy after giving yeosang permission. he came on his chest and stomach, tears staining the bed sheets. he spasm and panted softly. san pulled out and came into the condom.

"fuck... that was so great, honey. you did so well. let's get cleaned up before hyung catches us."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

san and yeosang slept in that morning, cuddling under the sheets and wearing new pajamas. the sun's ray seeped through the curtains. yeosang groggily opened his eyes and rubbed the sleep off his eyes. his brown orbs stared at san, who was peacefully asleep and had his arms on his waist.

"such a cutie," he whispered and heard a knock on the door.

yeosang slipped out of san's arms and stretched and cracked his knuckles. he walked to the door and opened it just to see jongho with a smug smirk.

"you forgot these panties, hyung," the youngest teased, holding the evidence in a plastic bag.

"i don't know if you know, but i'll say once for you horn dogs. these walls can talk. we heard every little thing."

yeosang blushed in embarrassment and sucked in his teeth. he grabbed his panties and closed the door. he rolled his eyes and turned to see san waking up and getting out of the bed.

"was that jongho? that little shit," san mumbled and sighed.

"where should we go for breakfast, bunny? it's on me today. "

"it doesn't matter. i just wanna spend time with you this week and next. forever actually."