#I mean COME ON. it's a fuel tank... WITH an engine. That's awesome

[cutest-silly-nb]

LFB KR-1x2 "Twin-Boar" Liquid Fuel Engine

I don't know when you first started playing but I started playing in 0.23 and when they added this in 0.23.5 I was like HOLY SHITTTT it was the coolest thing ever. I put it on everything. And I was right and I still do.

[passionate-reply]

Do you “fucking love” science? Have you ever been blinded by it? Well, it doesn’t really matter, because that goofy little number isn’t really supposed to be on Thomas Dolby’s debut album in the first place. Find out about all the awesome OTHER stuff that’s actually meant to be here, in this new installment of Great Albums! Transcript below the break.

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’ll be talking about a stellar album by one of those artists who have gone down in history as “one hit wonders,” despite producing a deep catalogue that’s often more impressive than that one song they end up known for: it’s The Golden Age of Wireless, the debut LP of Thomas Dolby. Chances are pretty good you’ve heard his big hit, “She Blinded Me With Science,” before...at least, if you’re American.

Music: “She Blinded Me With Science”

Like I said, if you’re American, you’ve heard this one before. If anything, it’s oversaturated! But if you’re from elsewhere in the world, you might not know it. Growing up in the US, I went through the whole gauntlet of alleged “one hit wonders” of 80s synth-pop, and a great many of them turned out to be British artists who had perfectly respectable careers in their native UK: Gary Numan, Soft Cell, and OMD, for example. Thomas Dolby is also British, but he’s apparently more famous here than he is across the pond--which is still not that famous.

He really ought to be, though, because The Golden Age of Wireless is a true masterpiece. Or, at least it WAS, in its original form. It’s actually a tough album to talk about, insofar as it’s hard to pin down what exactly constitutes “The Golden Age of Wireless.” It’s had quite a few different pressings, and a variety of different track listings. And the original version of it does NOT include “She Blinded Me With Science.” While I’d never argue that it’s a bad song, since it is insanely fun, and catchy to the point of being irresistible, it really does not belong on this album. I’m sure it helped them move copies of it, but its inclusion kind of ruins the vibe, to be honest. Its in-your-face and flamboyant hooks make it feel like a very unwarranted intrusion on an otherwise fairly serious and contemplative LP, which seems to have been intended as a fairly tight and thoughtful concept album.

Aside from that glaring issue, there are a few other tracks that have appeared on later versions of the album that weren’t there from the start, namely, the two tracks from Dolby’s first ever-release, a double A-side of “Urges” and “Leipzig,” as well as “One of Our Submarines,” the B-side of some versions of “She Blinded Me With Science.” All of these tracks are excellent, and mesh with the thematic and sonic character of the album quite well. “One of Our Submarines” in particular is often considered one of the best tracks of Dolby’s career--melancholy, claustrophobic, and stinging in its poignant sense of tragedy. It captures the misery and futility of modern war, as well as the sunset of the British Empire after the Second World War...and there’s a sample of a dolphin, too. It’s easily the track that I most wish had been included from the very start.

Music: “One of Our Submarines”

But now that that’s over with, I’d like to drill down and talk about how the album operates in its original form, as the artist intended. Like I said earlier, The Golden Age of Wireless is best understood as a concept album, and I think of it in a similar league as classics like the Buggles’ The Age of Plastic, OMD’s Dazzle Ships, or even Kate Bush’s Hounds of Love. The original track listing opens with “Flying North,” a stellar introduction to one of the most prominent themes of the album: freedom!

Music: “Flying North”

“Flying North” is an exultant anthem of self-determination, and one clearly mediated by “metal birds”--aeroplanes, that is. It’s a celebration of the independence allowed by technology, and a rather winsome one, in which this almost macho image of a heroic pilot takes center stage. The final track of the album, “Cloudburst At Shingle Street,” is a bit more esoteric, but seems to be aiming for a pretty similar idea overall, and I’d argue that the two of them form thematic “bookends.”

Music: “Cloudburst At Shingle Street”

“Cloudburst At Shingle Street” leads us through the technological evolution of mankind, from swinging from trees to paving concrete beaches--but the spacey synth warbles beneath those lines give them an ominous bent. The assertion that we might be heading into a cloudburst “mindless,” “naked,” or “blindly” is unnervingly cynical, but, we’re told, “there’s no escaping it.” Despite all of these signs that our better judgment should be resisting the temptation of this miraculous cloudburst...this triumphant, rising coda, with its powerful choir encouraging us onwards, seems to muddle the whole thing. The untethered, free-roaming nature of modern life isn’t always this sexy and exuberant, though--consider the track “Weightless,” as a counterpoint.

Music: “Weightless”

“Weightless” certainly seems to be about modern transients of some sort--in this case, traveling by car--but never lionizes them or makes them too terribly enviable. Instead, the focus is on the image of the draining fuel tank: the constant emptiness and craving for meaning, validation, and genuine love. No matter the allure of this very American, Route 66-like setting, the gas stations, cinemas, and decadent diner meals along the way are never any real substitute for an emotionally authentic life. That setting is, of course, a wistfully backward-looking Midcentury one. Nostalgia and childhood naivete are also among the album’s major themes, and are expressed the most clearly on “Europa and the Pirate Twins.”

Music: “Europa and the Pirate Twins”

Narratively, “Europa and the Pirate Twins” is a bittersweet story of childhood playmates who never quite re-unite, despite promising to be together again someday. The really interesting wrinkle is the fact that the narrator’s beloved Europa has become a famous celebrity as an adult, and the narrator is essentially a fan of her despite their real-world relationship. It’s an uncanny, confused parasocial relationship dynamic that feels extremely contemporary, despite the fact that it’s ultimately more of a commentary on the rise of teenager-oriented marketing during the Midcentury than anything else. The strange, often unhealthy relationships between young people and mass media, particularly radio, are another one of the major sources of tension on The Golden Age of Wireless. “Europa and the Pirate Twins” is also one of the more interesting tracks, instrumentally, featuring a prominent harmonica part, performed by Andy Partridge of XTC. Given how much the album strives to be about the future and past simultaneously, steeped in nostalgia and utopian visions alike, it makes sense to hear Dolby blend elements of traditional folk or popular music with forward-thinking synth-pop sensibilities. Listen also for a flute on “Windpower,” and a substantial amount of guitar on “Commercial Breakup,” a song that proves Dolby certainly can rock, if he feels like it.

Music: “Commercial Breakup”

The cover art for The Golden Age of Wireless isn’t exactly the most iconic, but I’ve always thought it was very beautiful. You’ve got this very eye-catching, lurid, pulp magazine style illustration of Dolby as a diligent, yet glamourous engineer, radiating with the complementary colour palette of orange and blue, the perfect picture of retro cool. But it’s framed and inset, to give us a conscious sense of observing something that’s coming to us from another time, an artifact preserved. That patina and sense of the antique is amplified by this dull-coloured background, which actually shows a marble sculpture gallery in a museum, though that’s tough to make out unless you have it right in front of you. The numerous shades of irony operating here are another thing that make the album feel strikingly contemporary.

I’m also a huge fan of the album’s title. “Wireless,” if you weren’t aware, is an old-fashioned term for radio. Radio itself is a strong theme on the album, most obviously on the track “Radio Silence,” but the use of the term “wireless” isn’t just another piece of retro nostalgia--I think it’s also evocative of that sense of free-flying, untethered independence I talked about earlier. The first half, i.e., “golden age,” is perhaps even more important. “Golden age” is an extremely loaded term that brings a number of rich associations to the table. “Golden ages” are simultaneously longed for, but not fully believed in. They’re bygone eras that usually felt like nothing special to the people who actually lived through them, despite their greatness being palpable to anyone reflecting on them in hindsight. In every golden age, there’s a poetic tragedy.

I think that even if someone did buy this record just to get their hands on “She Blinded Me With Science,” they’d probably be at least a little bit disappointed in what they got. The album does have some decent pop singles, chiefly “Radio Silence” and “Europa and the Pirate Twins,” but they’re still humming with nostalgia and unease, and not without some substantial experimental DNA.

Music: “Radio Silence”

While they cut the single weirdest track on the album, “The Wreck of the Fairchild,” they still retained some fairly ambitious tracks, such as “Windpower”--clearly an ode to Kraftwerk’s “Radioactivity.” It’s hard to be angry with an electronic musician for trying to rip off Kraftwerk, since they all do it one way or another, and in this case it invites a natural comparison between two great concept albums focused on the theme of radio.

Music: “Windpower”

Overall, though, The Golden Age of Wireless is still a reasonably accessible album on the whole. Possibly not what you expected, and certainly, a work that’s more sentimental and affecting than good for the dance floor, but as far as poignant, ballady, diesel-punk odes to the tragic techno-optimism of the Midcentury go, I’d say it’s not all that hard to get into! Dolby does have a pop core, as an artist, that he’s quite capable of selling to us if he chooses to. For proof of that point, look no further than the single “Hyperactive!” which he followed this up with a few years later:

Music: “Hyperactive!”

When discussing an ostensible one-hit wonder, there’s a distinct temptation to resort to “they deserved better” style rhetoric. On one hand, yes, I do think more people should hear Thomas Dolby’s music, and that it has a lot to say to us. I’m all about obscure music finding new life and being appreciated. That said, in the case of Dolby, I think he basically got what he wanted, in the end. He’s always been more keenly interested in music’s many behind-the-scenes roles than he has in chasing pop stardom himself--he’s produced music, and scored a number of films and video games over the decades. It feels kind of wrong to tell someone who’s successful at one thing that they “deserve” to be successful at something different, just because we may want to hear him do it, or because we esteem one skillset more highly than the other. Ultimately, The Golden Age of Wireless is a Great Album on its own terms, whether Dolby ever decides to grace us with another synth-pop release under his own name again--which he did in 2011, with A Map of the Floating City. But it’s his decision, as an artist, and the fact that he can choose to or not is a luxury that allows him integrity. I think that’s the way it ought to be.

My overall top track on this album has got to be “Airwaves,” a song in which the narrator dies, tragically and suddenly, in an automobile accident. It’s not the sexy, “Warm Leatherette” sort of car accident, but rather a dismally realistic one, that shows quite frankly how undignified death can be. Sometimes, we aren’t so much doomed heroes as we are frightened, sickly children, defeated by our own fickle bodies. The last thought our narrator gets is “I itch all over, let me sleep”; their honour perishes just moments before they do. Meanwhile, the radio is a constant presence throughout, and serves as both something to anchor the scene in the droll and quotidian, as well as ultimately becoming something transcendent. The promise of “airwaves” is not only the human interconnectedness made possible by technology, but also a hint at the ultimate destiny of human souls, a kind of ethereal afterlife in the sky. The meandering lulls of the verses contrast sharply with the song’s eerily soaring refrain, which enhances that feeling that those “airwaves” occupy some sort of higher plane. On that surprisingly heavy note, that’s all I’ve got for today, so thanks for listening!

Music: “Airwaves”

[certifiedskywalker]

Love Is Blind - Carol Danvers

Anonymous said: Hello there! Can I please request a carol x fem reader? “We fell asleep on the couch together on accident, how did my hand end up in your hair? Were you breathing on my neck?!” I found this lovely prompt on tumblr. So the context is they’re best friends who secretly harbor feelings towards each other. Please make it soft and fluffy and romantic. Thank you

Alright, I hope this is fluffy enough! I didn’t use the full prompt but I used it in a way that wasn’t as cheesy as that dialogue. I hope that’s okay!

“So what are you doing after this?”

You threw your head up at Carol’s question; took in the sight of her reddened cheeks and parted lips. Her blonde hair was thrown every which way. Some of it tumbled over her should, falling to the side like a sheen of golden water. Most of it was windblown up in a rat’s nest of stress and effort. When she threw the load she was carrying in the cargo bay to the side, she reached up in a vain attempt to tame the wild strands. You could not stop staring.

“Y/N?”

“What? Sorry.” You shook your head. “I spaced out.” Carol raised a suspicious brow and you felt the urge to curl into yourself, to hide your embarrassment. Had you been staring too long?

If you had, Carol didn’t let on. Instead, she smiled, wiped sweat from her brow and gave you a smile. It was one of her full, bright smiles, one that you often saw when she and Maria had invited you along to a post-flight-treat. While you had imagined cakes, you got beers and the first time Carol smiled at you with all the hope of a sunrise. 

“What are you doing after this?” Carol leaned against a pile of crates and crossed her arms over her chest. The tank top she was wearing showed off the strength in her arms and made it hard for you to swallow properly. You gripped your clipboard tightly and found your voice. 

“I-I don’t know,” you choked out. You turned your back on Carol to read over the label on the equipment before you. You checked off the box on your inventory and moved to the next one. As you moved you felt a warmth trailing behind you. Before you could turn around, Carol’s hand brushed past you and pulled your clipboard from your grasp. You turned to meet her eyes which held a mischievous glint within them. 

“So you’re free?” You gave Carol a questioning look before nodding slowly.

“I guess.” Her smile widened and you felt your stomach twist. “Why?”

“I was going to stop by Pancho’s and wanted you to come.” You raised a brow and tore your nervous gaze away from Carol.

“The bar? I don’t know. I have to...I get up early tomorrow and it’s a long drive from there to my place so…” You could feel Carol’s frown but, when you looked up, her eyes were still hopeful.

“You could crash at mine and Maria’s. She’s out with her guy until sometime tomorrow.” You felt your gut tighten at the idea of sleeping over at Carol’s. Before your face could give away the excitement you felt you nodded at your friend. Yes, friend. Carol was your friend; only a friend and you had to get the idea of anything else out of your head.

“Okay.” Carol’s expression lifted and a wide grin spread along her features. You had never seen anything so beautiful. 

“Awesome,” she threw your clipboard on top of the boxes beside her. “You wanna get your stuff and I’ll give you a ride?” You hesitated at the idea of leaving your own car in the parking lot and Carol, ever watchful, seemed to sense your worry. “I can tell Jim about your car. He’s head of security and we’re like this”

Carol crossed her fingers and made a childishly funny face. Yet, that didn’t unwrap the coils of jealous around your throat. The way Carol had made the gesture made you think she was joking. She did have a habit of getting into trouble with security. It wouldn’t have surprised you if she had struck up some sort of rapport with the head of the department, but the thought made your heart sink in your chest in a way that you could not convey. 

“Alright then yeah,” you sighed, “I’ll go get my stuff.” Carol smiled and clapped her hand on your shoulder in a manner so friendly you left some part of yourself die inside.

“Meet ya out in the parking lot then!”

After you finished up your work and got what you would need from your car (a sweatshirt, brush, and a few work notebooks), you found yourself waiting. You rocked back a forth, shifting your weight back a forth on your feet as you watched for Carol. The setting sun was still hot, beating down on the pavement and your skin. You thought back to Carol tucked into her flight suit as she clambered in her plane. How hot was that? 

Very, you thought with half a smile. You would have kept staring off into the sunset, thinking of Carol, if it weren’t for the sudden rev of an engine. The sound made you jump and your thoughts flee in fear. When you turned to see who was being so loud, you saw Carol: sunglasses pressed to her face and straddling a motorcycle.

The sleek, black machine drove up to you with all the smoothness of well-brew coffee. You watched her boots hit the ground when the bike came to a stop. It almost happened in slow-motion: she took off her sunglasses in a fluid motion, revealing her soft brown eyes to you like unwrapping a gift. She smiled widely when she met your gaze. 

“Like it?” You let your eyes dance along Carol’s face as she asked the question. It could be answered with a simple ‘yes’ but you found yourself speechless. 

“Y/N?”

“Y-Yeah, it’s…” You trailed off and Carol let out a breathy laugh.

“You nervous?” You tore your eyes from Carol’s legs and met her gaze once more. You swallowed hard and nodded. You were nervous, but about what, you were sure that it wasn’t the motorcycle. 

“Yeah, a bit.” Carol shook her head and scoot up to make room for you on the bike. 

“It’s all good. Just put your stuff in there,” she jabbed her thumb towards the back of the motorcycle. “And there should be an extra helmet in there for you too.”

You followed her directions and tucked your bag in a small chest attached to the back of the bike. Knowing that you wouldn’t lose your stuff barely eased the nausea in your stomach. You donned the helmet and turned back to Carol. She let out a laugh and gave you a thumbs up.

“You look great,” she teased and you felt your cheeks burn beneath the helmet. “Now, come here.” 

She patted the back of the seat and you gave her a questioning look before carefully straddling the bike. The padding beneath you was surprisingly comfortable. For a moment, you thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Then you caught a sniff was Carol’s body wash and the sharp scent of fuel and felt light-headed. It didn’t help when Carol gave you more instructions.

“Now put your arms around my waist.”

“What?”

“I mean, you don’t have to. That is, if you want to ride the road on your ass but-”

“Okay, okay,” you sighed and wrapped your arms around Carol’s midsection. A flood of warmth and giddiness ran through and over your body. You were so close to her. You had hugged Carol before but this, this was different. You were clinging to her.

For dear life, or so it seemed, as Carol drove away from the air hangar in a burst of speed. Your arms tightened and you feared that you might be squeezing her too tight. But when Carol didn’t flinch or protest, you let yourself relax. Your chest rested against Carol’s back and, despite the street racing below you, you felt safe. So safe and so...cared for? Maybe, either way, you let your head fall to rest between Carol’s shoulders and watched the landscape whirl past your vision. 

Soon enough, the sign of Pancho’s Bar entered your sights and you felt Carol slow the bike. The gravel of the parking lot groaned and cracked under the wheels as she searched for a parking space. When she turned to engine off you felt your heart ache with bittersweet pain. You were alive, in one piece and holding Carol; but now you had to let go.

Your arms fell to your sides, slipping from Carol’s waist painfully as she spoke up. “So, what did ya think? Fun right?”

“Yeah, actually,” you replied as you freed your face from the heat of the helmet. “Thanks.”

“No need to thank me, Y/N,” Carol waved a hand dismissively. “I wanted to. I wanted you to come.” You nodded before biting the inside of your cheek. Carol only wanted you here because Maria was out of town. Otherwise, you would be a third, unneeded wheel to their friendship. 

You watched silently as Carol hopped off the bike and straightened her jacket. Some of her hair, which she had put into a loose ponytail had slipped out. A few of the blonde strands framed her face, making her rosy, wind-kissed cheeks appear redder.

“You ready?” 

“Huh?” You asked, shaking your head to clear it. “Yeah, I am.” Carol raised a brow, but smiled nonetheless. She plucked the helmet from your hands and placed it on the bike.

“Seems like you could use a drink, yeah?” You met her eyes before you felt her hand grabbing at yours. Your eyes traced the way her fingers joined with yours and you felt your breath catch. 

“Yeah, I could.” Carol smiled over her shoulder at your reply before pulling you into the bar.

You don’t often drink, at least not a lot. If you do, it’s because you’re nervous or stressed. It’s not a good coping mechanism, you know that, it’s unhealthy; but when you’re at a bar with Carol, you’re bombarded by emotions that need to be dulled. You’re tormented by desire to hold her, to dance with her during a slow song and not care about anything else. 

In those moments, you remind yourself that you could lose your job if someone got the wrong idea. Even if the ‘wrong idea’ was what you wanted. You wanted Carol; you wanted to be more than friends, but that just wasn’t possible. Not now, at least. 

So you drank. You drank a lot, enough to grow fuzzy and only remember Carol’s face bathed in the colorful lights of the video arcade and neon signs. When you woke, you were warm and your head was pounding. You had felt the dull, pulsing pain of a hangover before but something was different about this one. When you turned your head, you felt a strange sense of relief. Physical relief. Like a hand rubbing at your scalp, soothing the ache in your skull as your breath found a haven in the crook of her neck.

Carefully, you craned your neck and tried to figure out the source of the sensation When you did, you felt your mouth fall open in a silent gasp. Carol was laid out on the couch, sleep balancing delicately on her features as she slept...below you. You had fallen asleep on her chest and her hand was in your hair. Everytime you moved a little, her fingers would brush against your scalp. 

All of your movement seemed to wake Carol as her eyes opened slowly. “You’re awake.”

“I-I am, I’m sorry about this. I just-”

“It’s okay, Y/N. You got a little drunk.” You let out a nervous, breathy laugh as you sat up. Your legs brushed against Carol’s and you felt like your whole being was on fire. 

“I guess, yeah,” you mumbled as you tried to move away. “I don’t….”

“I didn’t drink really,” Carol began, “so I drove home. It was a hassle getting you on the bike. I thought about tying you to me. I almost did.” She was smiling as she filled in the gaps of your memory, but you were aflame with embarrassment.

“I’m so sorry,” you said again, but Carol continued. 

“When we got back you wanted me to stay with you. You were fairly convincing and I guess we fell asleep together on accident.” You held your head in your hands and signed heavily.

“I didn’t do anything else did I?”

“We danced,” Carol added, “you were cute, dancing by yourself at first.” You met her eyes and saw there was only sincerity in them. Images of Carol, smiling as brightly as the sun from across the dance floor at Pancho’s flashed in your mind. You smiled at the sight, wished that you could remember it better in all of it’s trueness.

“When we got home you told me something.”

“W-What did I say?” You choked out. Worry churned in your gut and you felt like you might vomit. Carol let her head fall to the side as she stared at you softly.

“It wasn’t really what you said, it was what you asked. You asked if I loved you.” 

“Oh, Carol, I didn-”

“I do.” You met her gaze against and waited with baited breath. “I wanted to wait to tell you so you would remember my answer. Was that what you were expecting my answer to be?”

“No, I,” you shook your head. Your heart was pounding in your chest, so hard that you were surprised Carol did mention that she could hear it. 

“I know that it's ...different and we’re friends. And...well..with work, the government, but I wanted to tell you. Your question was the perfect time I guess.” Carol explained as she sat up against the arm of the couch. 

“I…” Silence overwhelmed you right beside the wave of shock. Your gaze fell to Carol’s hand which rested in her lap, as you gathered your thoughts.

“Sorry, if I made you uncomfortable,” Carol began to say quickly, “I just thought that maybe...it felt like you might too.” You looked up to her, met her gaze and tried to find the right words. “Y/N?”

“I do,” you said softly. Carol’s serious expression melted away into a smile. It wasn’t the one that was as bright as the sun. It was tender, as gentle as a rolling cloud during a pink sunrise. A smile just for you. Before you could say anything else, Carol leaned towards you. Her hand lifted from her lap to your cheek and pulled your lips to hers. 

She tasted like mint and smelled like smoke and engine fuel. She tasted like coming home, like a truth that you had tried to ignore for too long. She tasted like love, a love that you had never had the courage to show until now. You wanted to savor that forever.

Carol’s hands cupped your face and coaxed your closer. Instinctively, you moved into her lap and let yours hands bury themselves in her hair. Now that you had a flavor of what this could be, you never wanted to come up for air; but eventually, you had to.

Carol pulled away from your lips, but just barely. Her forehead rested against yours and you sank back into the warmth her body offered.

“I hope you didn’t drool on me,” Carol teased breathlessly. You laughed, pulling your head away from hers and shook your head.

“Just breathed on your neck a little.” Carol grinned and you swear if you stared too long, you might go blind. Yet, it would be worth it, if it meant you were with Carol.

[darkestwolfx]

Touch and Go - Re-Review #24

Touch and Go is definitely an appropriate episode title... damn, what else could they have called it? Downing of the Planes, Let’s Play CATCH or something terrible like that.

Anyhow, let’s get going!

A high paced chase across the ice is exactly what we all want to see at the start of an episode, lets be honest.

Apparently it’s also the only images google know how to relate to this episode.

“Kayo, you were just supposed to shadow him.”

“We did a little shadowboxing.”

Yeah and she was definitely the winner of that round. Scott, on the other hand, doesn’t go down so easily.

“Scott, do not tell me how to do my job.”

“It’s not that we don’t appreciate your excellent work, Kayo, it’s just that this is not what we do.

“Why not?”

“Because we’re not the police! We leave the law enforcement up to the GDF. Our priority is people. Our job is help rescue and clean up during International disasters, not chasing after bad guys!”

“Scott, we can’t always wait for catastrophe to strike!”

In fairness, she does have a valid point there.

“We have a situation developing.”

“This discussion isn’t over.”

“I’m sure.”

I feel like these two might clash more than we see.

“That means there’s over two thousand (2000) planes stuck in the air with no way of landing safely.”

See this is why I think need to be reducing our flight travel! At the moment, pollution levels have cut by half... it is worth thinking about before anything like this happens, or there aren’t parts of the world left to fly to.

Poor Virgil and Grandma though... just stuck sitting there whilst this ‘discussion’ raged.

Anyway, EOS is here! At last. What’s it? 13 episodes since her last appearance?

“EOS?”

“Yes John?”

“Until we can get CATCH back online, looks like you and I are going to be playing Air Traffic Control.”

“Understood.”

“Calculate every aircraft’s course and minimum safe distances. Let me know the second any of them get too close.”

“Affirmative.”

“Think we can do it?”

“We don’t have a choice, do we?”

Great motivational speech EOS... I can see you’ve learnt how do that in your absence. John’s having a really human moment of doubt and that is your grand reply! Hello, someone please let me write EOS some more character development. It was such an EOS thing to say though.

“Dead-eye Vigil strikes again.”

“Oh, so now you’re suddenly a good shot?”

“Hey! I have to take every small victory I can get.”

Loving this reference back to ‘Ring of Fire’.

“Can you remotely access the planes on board computer and unlock it?”

“Hacking the on board computer of a plane in flight is a violation of-

“Consider it done.”

Still very helpful EOS - she is right though let’s give her that! And we’re presuming she was meant to have learnt something about rules. John is bloody quick at hacking though! Heck none of us would be safe if he was here in real life (not to mention if Thunderbird Five was as well).

How comes Scott always ends up meeting the women? Just a question that came to me.

“You’re not out of the woods yet, Scott.”

Someone tell me when Scott learnt to drive a fork lift? I mean really, it’s not your everyday vehicle and it requires a special licence.

“International Rescue, everything’s gonna be fine.”

Scott, please, please, please stop jinxing things! Someone offer these boys a course in careful word choice!

“Or maybe not.”

I mean like, ASAP.

“It’s crumbling like one of Grandma’s cakes. We need to get out of here fast.”

“Any ideas?”

“I’m open to suggestions.”

“I’m Scott by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Scott. Captain Jane Carter.”

Seriously though, why is it always Scott who ends up ‘hanging’ with the women?

Shadow appearing with the moon behind was an awesome scene with some beautiful cinematography.

“It’s The Hood. He’s shut down CATCH and has no plans to reboot it.”

Yes I think the evil laugh rather gave that away!

“Keep CATCH shut down for another hour and that should be a good enough diversion.”

Oh... so you were saying Kayo? That sounds like a plan to reboot it to me... writer’s contradiction! One of the first in this show I think, actually.

“Kayo, please respond.”

“I know how you feel.”

Yeah, I’m sure you do John.

“No funny stuff.” “Don’t worry, you won’t be laughing.”

Yeah... don’t mess with Kayo.

“Your nagging will not improve my efficiency.”

Haha, do I know that feeling! Anyone else?

“Why do you let them treat you like a minion, Kayo.”

My thoughts exactly Hood.

Look, there’s even five of them! Perfect numerical workings.

Alsterene! Flashback to ‘Danger at Ocean Deep’ here. I’d be careful with stuff... it’s highly combustible.

“My engines are out.”

“Kayo, eject.”

“Ejection controls aren’t responding.”

Did anyone else think for a split second that maybe TAG was going to be one of the first Universal rated TV shows to kill off a lead character? I’ll admit I did, considering what they’d already down this series.

“I’m taking back what’s mine!”

The fuel tanks, right?

Wrong, they exploded the moment they hit the ground. I did say a couple sentences back to be careful, did I not?

That moment of near Hood-Kayo eye contact was priceless. They might be enemies but they are also family.

“The Hood could have just as easily saved those tanks,but he saved you. Why?”

Suspicious Scott... I mean he did see The Hood save Kayo. I’m surprised he didn’t put two and two together before Kayo told them. I mean he is smart.

“I’m just glad you’re ok.”

Family affection right there. After all those arguments - sorry discussions - they still love each other deep down.

“Looks like Brains has his work cut out for him. I think you might have fried the motor.”

“It’s for the best. We wouldn’t want Brains to have nothing to do.”

“I heard that!”

He’s like Grandma! Ears everywhere! And for one, I think Brains already has enough to do. Give the man a break, people.”

[mgrgfan]

Past of the future, future of the past...

Chapter 9. A strange beginning

25.06.2000, 20 years after the Shift Neighborly Town, Sinnoh

Gentle ringing sound filled the room. With a sigh, a boy with long blue hair has removed the blanket and got up, doing morning stretches. After he was done, he took a shower, changed from his favorite dark pajamas to something more suitable and left his room, going down to kitchen for breakfast.

As always, his mom Deborah has made something amazingly-smelling and his dad Yakob was trying to start himself up with a cup of some horrifying caffeine mix, as dark as…

"Oh, and there you are, just in time!" said Deborah, as a figure has arisen from the shadows in the far end of the room.

"Suppose so. Morning, everyone," replied the Pitch-Black Pokemon, crossing the room.

"Morning, Darkrai," sighed Tobias, taking a seat. Yakob mumbled something welcoming too, then returned to drinking his crime against coffee. Darkrai visibly shifted away from Yakob, still having highly unpleasant memories about that one time he tried whatever infernal substance Tobias' dad was brewing for himself. There was a good reason it was once nearly classified as a chemical weapon, as a wide-awake Komala in Yakob's lab, who also made a mistake of trying this liquid insanity, could attest to.

After a wonderful breakfast (with Latios joining them soon after the beginning), the entire group started to pack up for today's trip in Unova. Thankfully, whatever unholy mixture Yakob was taking was sufficient to finally wake him up, so, he took the wheel, leaving Deborah, Tobias and Darkrai free to take seats, while Latios has cloaked and clung to the car's roof, loving the thrill of "riding" like that.

With a silent hiss, hydrogen started flowing into the fuel cells. Seconds later, with a quiet whine, wheel hub motors kicked in, driving the car away from the home and towards the Sunyshore City - specifically, the Theta Spaceport.

----

The not-so-young-anymore dragon silently flew underneath the forest's canopy, using the flexibility of its serpentine body to maneuver between trees. Something in the back of its mind screamed, that it shouldn't be going like this, that it should be soaring free in the sky, but immediate concerns continued to override it for many years.

Jet-black Legendary knew, that here, it was in relative safety. Humans would have massive troubles searching for it there. They won't risk using their horrific weapons there… or, at least, so it hoped.

Right now, it was nearing the edge of the forest, near the road from place, known to humans as "Pallet Town". It has decided to stay here for a bit, until the night comes… which should happen relatively soon, in fact.

Rayquaza took a rest on a tree, monitoring the situation around. Thankfully, the road wasn't used this often and Rayquaza knew, how to hide, so, even with its jet-black scales, it didn't have much trouble hiding.

Some time later, it has noticed a single young human, who was traversing down the road with two Pokemon at his side - a Pikachu and a Solosis.

Sky High Pokemon knew this human - quite a few years ago, this young human got lost in the forest and ended up taking shelter from rain under the roots of a large tree, together with a lot of Pokemon. Rayquaza knew this moment very well, especially since it also took a shelter there, coiling around others… and, despite worries of the Legendary, it all went pretty nice.

Sensing no one else of note around, the not-so-young dragon decided to take a risk and lit up the bioluminescent stripes, then flew almost right in front of the young human, even showing off a bit. While human did end up taking some device and pointing it at Rayquaza, evidently, it has malfunctioned and produced no result of worth… although Sky High Pokemon decided to stop doing the risky things now, darkened the bioluminescent stripes again and disappeared under the canopy of the forest, barely noticing Ho-oh flying above it, to which none of the participants paid much attention.

----

"Good afternoon passengers," sounded from the speakers. "This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight P-52-4 to Nuvema, Unova. Please have your boarding pass, Pokeballs and identification ready. Boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes time on Tower 12. Thank you."

Tobias, Deborah and Yakob nodded to each other and headed towards the appropriate access terminal. Two elevator and one travelator rides later, they were walking through the access arm to their vehicle, which was just finishing getting refueled with slush hydrogen and liquid oxygen. Seemingly short and stout (but only seemingly so), it, nonetheless, was capable of easily carrying up to 1000 people between any two points of Earth.

Family took their designated places, with Latios being confined to a Pokeball and Darkrai managing to secretly leave it and sneak into the shadow under Tobias' bunk.

"Attention, passengers, this is your captain speaking. The vessel will take off in ten minutes. Walkway is now retracting," sounded from speakers, as the doors to the outside world got closed and walkway got retracted. Passengers were still chatting, as they were taking their places and preparing for takeoff, some of them checking safety cards and/or watching the safety videos, some sharing their experiences, some merely talking… all was as usual.

"Attention, passengers, this is your captain speaking. The vessel will take off in five minutes. Make sure you're on your designated acceleration couch, safely strapped and with your Pokeballs put into the safe underneath it," sounded from the speakers again. Tobias, after a small check, found out Darkrai's small machination, but decided to stay quiet, knowing his oldest Pokemon partner all too well.

"Ten, nine, ignition sequence start, six, five, engine running fully... Liftoff! We have a liftoff on ballistic liner P-52-4! Tower cleared!"

As those words were being said, the plug-cluster aerospike engine has ignited and reached the nominal power. The launch clamps have opened too, letting the huge rocket soar into the sky and set the trajectory to suborbitals, while also making passengers experience moderate G-force. People, however, seem to take it just fine, some of them even joking about the flight being "Smooth, quiet and, in altogether, delightful experience".

Finally, all external fuel tanks ran dry and, with quiet dull clangs, separated from the rocket, starting their own flyback sequence to allow for easier recovery. In the meantime, ballistic liner finished the boost phase and entered the microgravity coast, with captain making another announcement:

"Good afternoon passengers. This is your captain speaking. First I'd like to welcome everyone on Talonflame Aerospace flight P-52-4. We are currently cruising at an altitude of 185 km at an speed of just under 7 km/s. The time is 1:25 pm. The weather under us looks good and with the lack of wind at the arrival point we are expecting to land in Nuvema with some fuel to spare. The weather in Nuvema is clear and sunny, with a high of 25 degrees for this afternoon. If the weather cooperates we should get a great view of the city as we descend. Right now, you will be able to unstrap yourself and to get some awesome views in the illuminators. I'll talk to you again before we reach our destination. Until then, relax and enjoy the rest of the flight."

Indeed, soon enough, people liberated themselves from the safety straps and started gathering around illuminators, with Darkrai managing to slip out of the shadows and get near Tobias too. While it did prompt some uneasiness, authority of Yakob and Deborah was sufficient to prevent it from escalating further, allowing a blue-haired boy and a white-haired Mythical to enjoy views of Earth from the space for a bit longer… until another announcement came through:

"Attention, passengers, this is your captain speaking. In five minutes, we will begin the flip maneuver. Please, return to your couches and strap yourselves back."

Grumbling, people have complied, returning back to their acceleration couches and strapping themselves in order to prevent flying away, when rocket fires maneuvering thrusters. In exactly five minutes from announcement, RCS engines rumbled and the rocket flipped around, pointing the main plug-cluster aerospike engine in the direction of travel. Soon, the main engine woke up again, decelerating the rocket a bit and correcting its trajectory.

The rocket plunged through the atmosphere, decelerating even further as it goes, with liquid hydrogen circulating through the truncated spike of main engine and cooling it down, allowing it to work as a heat shield. Soon, it ended its flight by a gentle hover landing, with exactly right position and heading to allow one of the access arms on the service tower to reach it. After the connection of access arm and opening of doors, Tobias and his family packed up and left the rocket, reaching their rented car two elevator and two travelator rides later.

As usual, human part of the family took their places in the vehicle, Latios cloaked and clung to the outside, while Darkrai stayed in shadows near the backseat.

"So…" started Tobias. "What's this conference's going to be about?"

"As always, yearly conference between researchers of Legendary and Mythical Pokemon," replied Yakob, driving the car to the hotel. "Thanks to your help, we've got some nice results."

"Yakob, if they ever try this again…" said Darkrai from the shadows in a pretty grim voice.

"I know, crouch, get to the nearest cover and wait for the Dark Void attacks to stop flying, then use the replicas of Lunar Wing over the victims, once you've cleared the area."

"Exactly. The fact of me deciding to follow Tobias and you two on my own volition does not mean me welcoming invasive experimentation."

"I sure remember the last time…" muttered Deborah in a strange voice.

"I didn't kill anyone back then, though," quickly replied the Pitch-Black Pokemon, as if slightly afraid, prompting Tobias to enter the conversation again:

"Mostly because of Latios with his Heal Pulse being capable of stabilizing their condition, until I was there to break the Lunar Wing replicas from my personal stash out."

"Yep. Exactly what I've counted on," said Darkrai, even leaving the shadow a bit and nodding.

"Not the best strategy… but, I guess, we'll have to let it slip for now." mumbled Tobias' mother, then sighed. "I hate the rocket lag, to be honest."

"We all do!" agreed everyone inside the car with her.

----

"Now arriving to the Space Colony Core-Middleway," sounded in the cabin of "Drapion" Galarian deep space transporter, as it was slowing down and preparing to dock to the still-unfinished Bernal Sphere - a greatest testament to the insane race of the Space Fever, alongside with automated factories on the Moon, as well as mass driver, which was used to deliver parts of the colony into space, where they were assembled.

"Finally…" mumbled a remarkably unremarkable human, cradling some strange case in his hands. Soon, a quiet, dull "clang" announced, that the ship has docked to the gigantic space installation. Man, blending in with the rest of passengers of the Earth-L5 express, left it through the docking tube and went through a route few people knew, heading straight to the biolabs block on the equator of the sphere.

Inside the Lab 14, another man was already waiting for him.

"So?.."

"Recovered," said the newcomer, opening his case and extracting a strange, tubular device with a faint glow inside the transparent middle section. "You have no idea, how hard it was, though. But old Fuji built some stuff real sturdy."

"Heh… brother was sure like this… was."

The colonial sighed, knowing too well, what's happened back on the planet, then went for another question:

"What about the second specimen?"

"Was unable to recover."

"Well… I guess we'll have to do with only her for now."

"I guess."

The newcomer gave the device to the colonial scientist, who, gently cradling it, took it to the adjacent room and placed it on the table, starting to connect it to the equipment.

"Lessons were learned, mistakes will not be repeated," mumbled the scientist, working on the device and, from time to time, looking at a huge empty biogrowth tube behind him. "I just hope you'll understand me, when the time comes…"

----

"Your Majesty?" sounded a message from the comm app.

"Yes?" replied the Empress.

"Project SAS is going almost as planned. Phase 2 is at 70%, industrial automation is progressing surely, second level networks are almost established."

"ISFs 3, 5 and 9?"

"Gave us all-clear on the technical side."

"And… what about possibility of Scenario 5?"

"Non-zero, but not too great. Roughly 3.6% possible."

"3.6% - not great, not terrible," concluded the Empress, before the call has ended and she relaxed in the chair, remembering, how has it all started fifteen years ago...

----

The Empress was sitting in her chair, listening to the group of scientists, who were standing before her and telling about a plan - a very audacious one, but, given, what has happened a week ago, worthy of consideration. When they've finished giving the explanation, she stood up a bit, walked to the window and, looking at the city outside of the Palace, asked:

"Automation of the economy, huh?"

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"And… what does it promise for the Empire?"

"Well… an economic solvency that will eclipse that of the rest of the world, no corruption, once it's fully implemented, highly-reactive planning, allowance…"

"Enough. Tell me one thing… Does it mean, that, should it be fully and completely implemented, I will lose my power and be, in fact, left without ability to rule the Empire, remaining merely a face of the new, automatic government system?"

"... Yes."

"And… will this system bring more prosperity to the Empire, than I and the rest of the current rulers can?"

"... Yes."

"... Then you have my full approval."

"... Huh?"

"You are to begin the implementation process as soon as you can. If sacrifice of my position and power will mean the best for the Empire - I am ready to do that."

"... As you wish."

The group of scientists left the room, leaving Empress looking in the window and thinking, whether this decision was right or not and should she cancel this project, while there's still some time left.

Author's notes: The ballistic liner Tobias and his family rides is based on ITHACUS global transportation rocket; The "Drapion" is based on a real project of a "Scorpion" general-purpose space transportation system; Space Fever will be explained more, as the time goes; Can you guess, what was the device the newcomer gave to the scientist on the space colony? The hint is in the only name mentioned in this section...

[audir8borlaexhaust-blog]

Audi R8 Borla Exhaust

Choosing an Exhaust System

Gibson Performance Exhaust systems are manufactured in gas and diesel applications for vehicles, trucks and sport utility lorries with a limited life time service warranty and also will not impact factory warranties. With alternatives such as aluminized or stainless-steel as well as 5 different exhaust leaves, there is no going wrong with Gibson's line of efficiency cat-back systems.  Today read more about Buy Audi R8 Exhaust System

You will certainly find what you are searching for in this line with the design, torque, tone and brilliant engineering, whether your lorry is for job or for play. The efficiency as well as durability of these parts are likewise quite outstanding. Mostly all of the components come zinc-plated with durable stainless steel clamps and also provide the optimum exhaust flow for the most efficient exhaust as well as have three to 4- inch tailpipes.

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The Gibson Side Swept Exhaust will supply a fast velocity and the very best towing power. Hill-climbing goes to its easiest with a low-end horse power gain as well as at the exact same time you'll have a peaceful in-cab, low tone. 

Departure is behind the rear tire near supply, and also the mandrel- bent tubing keeps exhaust circulation continuous for optimal efficiency. This side-swept exhaust includes a T-304 high refined stainless-steel clamp-less lower idea and zinc layered 3/8 to 1/2 inch factory design wall mounts, durable clamps, and also stainless-steel- 409L Stainless heavy -task tubes, as do most of the exhausts.

The Gibson Double Cat-back Exhaust horse power gains are 10-15 and 15-20lb-ft of rise torque as well as will lead to better gas effectiveness. A few of the very best high qualities of this exhaust system are the easy bolt-on installment, a terrific look and also a decrease in the adverse exhaust damages to your tow trailer. 

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It will certainly offer the same terrific exhaust flow as well as come zinc-plated as stated over, yet it adds a Superflow TM Muffler that is completely bonded, baffled as well as chambered for better volume efficiency. With the Split Back Bolt-on Cat-back Exhaust there is a boost in horsepower and also torque as a result of reduced backpressure. It will work on most bumpers but with some lorries you may should eliminate the extra tire, and it is not recommended for pulling as a result of carbon monoxide issues. The most effective high qualities of this are the improved horse power (ordinary gain of 15-20) as well as the hostile noise.

A choice to the Split Back Screw- on Cat-back is the Gibson Extreme Twin Bolt-on Cat-back. This exhaust is wonderful for looks (double exits behind the back wheels at an angle) as well as much better for performance. Your towing, passing, and also increasing capacities will certainly escalate.

The Gibson Super Truck Exhaust is quickly, effective, as well as loud. There are definite dyno-tested gains in horsepower, torque, and also gas efficiency as well as noise levels strike 95 decibels.

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The point of a diesel exhaust is to reduce backpressure, reduced temperatures as well as supply power. With Gibson's Diesel Solitary Side Leave Exhaust you will get just that. This sturdy exhaust gives a dyno-tested rise as high as 32 horse power as well as, on top of that, 60 ft-lbs in torque. This features a four-inch Mandrel-bent tailpipe allowing maximum flow as well as efficiency. If you desire this in a dual exhaust it is offered with a three-inch tailpipe and also rear-wheel leaves at an angle. This is the Gibson Diesel Extreme Dual Exhaust.

An additional great alternative to the Twin Diesel Extreme is the Diesel Double Sport Exhaust. Gibson made this for a fantastic appearance, a 30 ft-lbs torque increase, as well as an awesome audio. This is available in the large three-inch Mandrel-bent tailpipe with the Superflow TM Muffler. The Dual Sporting activity also supplies a 15 horsepower boost.

Gibson's line of American Muscular tissue car exhausts can be used on V6 and V8 Dodge Chargers, Ford Mustangs, and also GTO's. They include T-304 high-polished stainless steel clamp-less slash tips and muffler and also, as always, will provide raised torque and horsepower and on the whole far better performance of your car. All zinc-plated, produce a great grumble, as well as very easy to set up.

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Lastly, Gibson has piece de resistance Headers. Each one is Dyno-tuned for street and off-road cars, elevated or decreased, and also they cool down engine temperatures in severe off-roading, auto racing, or freeway speeds. One of the best high qualities is that you can make use of the stock crossover pipeline and go down the headers in as specific replacements of manufacturing facility manifolds. Terrific functions of Gibson headers include: 50 state street lawful, OEM style connections, laser cut port flanges, air injection and oxygen sensing unit fittings, as well as that there is no need for welding as they are entirely bolt-on. They are available in nickel chrome layered (really long lasting), stainless steel or ceramic covered with high-temperature polished finishing.Consider a Performance Exhaust System

Is it time for you to replace your car's exhaust system? Have you discovered rust around your muffler and also tailpipe? If you responded to yes to both of these inquiries, then consider replacing your supply exhaust system with a performance exhaust system. Up front you will pay even more, but in the end an efficiency exhaust system just may be the last one you will ever before need to purchase for your auto.

Nothing lasts for life, right? Well, in the case of some efficiency exhaust systems you could come darn close. Consider this: one top producer of cat-back exhausts [a lot more on just what one is a little bit later] creates an exhaust system with a one million mile guarantee! How can they do this?

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By making a product from airplane high quality stainless-steel, that's how. That's right; the same steel utilized by aircraft suppliers enters into every Borla brand name exhaust system to produce a product that is resilient and long-term. Other brand names have similar service warranties, so I am not saying Borla is completion all or be all product for your car.

So, simply exactly how does a cat-back system work? By maintaining all the important discharges components in place, a cat-back system incorporates huge size exhaust pipes and reduced limitation efficiency mufflers right into your cars and truck thus reducing exhaust back pressure. A side advantage is the deeper, throatier tone generated by the exhaust system. Because your auto's engine is basically an air pump, a cat-back a/k/a performance exhaust system allows the engine to pump as well as flow air with less disruption. In summation, more power is maximized and horsepower increases of 5 to 15 percent are well within the series of possibility. One side benefit: you will certainly discover a rise in fuel economic climate since a performance exhaust system allows your engine to run extra effectively.

Buy Audi R8 Exhaust

So, what's not to love regarding an efficiency exhaust system? Very little! Also if you typically aren't preparing to keep your cars and truck for life, the resale worth of your car will certainly also raise with a performance exhaust system mounted on your cars and truck. You win now with more power and also much better fuel economy and you can win later when it comes time to sell your car. A true great deal, do not you agree?

Are You Smelling Cars And Truck Trouble?

Just what is the common odor that your car has?

For most cars and trucks the common odor would be the scent of leather or of the products made use of. This generally chooses those recently purchased cars. On the other hand, there are also distinctive scents that emanate from your vehicle as it goes through time as well as usage. Nonetheless, as the owner or motorist, you would recognize that these are the normal odors and that would certainly not be something to get alarmed about.

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What you ought to get on the sharp around are some kinds of scents or odors that seem to be different, as well as unusual. These are the scents that you must be aware about for they could hide something much more severe compared to just a scent out of area.

If you smell an odor rising from your exhaust, it can suggest that there is a leakage in the exhaust system. It could indicate a hole in your car's tailpipe, exhaust pipe, exhaust manifold, and even the muffler. It can also indicate that your hatchback or back door already has a worn seal. If this occurs, you ought to take on the obstacle quickly for you may get carbon monoxide gas inside your auto which could obtain pretty harmful. Exactly what you need to do is to bring your automobile to a mechanic right away.

If you smell raw gas, it can indicate that there is a leak in your automobile's gas distribution system. Just what could be impacted is your automobile's fuel lines, gas storage tank, or your gas filter. This is likewise unsafe for any type of fuel leakages can spark a cars and truck fire. You could treat the scenario by initial seeking if you have actually returned the gas cap right on effectively. If this does not appear to be the issue, after that go right away to your auto mechanic.

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The scent of rotten eggs can likewise be something that you may discover and also this means that your catalytic converter has become connected. Once you smell this, go see your mechanic so regarding remedy the problem.

[radiantresplendence]

Big Grill in Little Chaldea - Review

Overview: KP is the best unit of 2019 and she was released back in March. Also it’s only May. 

Kingprotea is the Alterego G of the Sakura Five, a High-Servant composed of multiple Earth Mother Goddesses, particularly everyone’s favorite Beast II, Tiamat, as indicated by her final ascension. 

KP’s kit is unique, encouraging a lot of creative and non-conventional team building due to the versatility of the Alterego class and KP’s own kit. In a lot of ways, she’s self-sufficient out of the box, boasting a power level that is essentially unchallenged by other units in the game, without even taking into account her active skills or Noble Phantasm. I consider her the best Alterego in the game, at least for most situations. 

Generally speaking, her kit is pretty simple almost deceptively so when you take into account her unique self-buffs, widely-varying in length cooldowns, and situational buff procs. Essentially, she’s a bruiser-type unit who can take and deal significant amounts of damage. 

Under the Hood: Kingprotea is a Buster unit, boasting two single-hit Buster cards, two triple-hit Arts cards and a lone triple-hit Quick card. Her extra attack hits six times. She has a Buster Noble Phantasm that is area of effect and shares some level of similarity to Ishtar’s Noble Phantasm in that it has a low scaling, but regardless can deal serious damage. 

Generally speaking, KP fits in well with almost any Buster team, although, I would personally discourage the choice to use her with Osakabe. 

Kingprotea’s stats are monstrous. She boasts the second-highest attack stat in the game, a whopping 13835 at level 90 with silver Fous. She’s no slouch in terms of HP either, with a 14338 pool at level 90, but that starting point is largely negligible for our headpat goddess. 

Generally speaking, all of KP’s cards are awesome, save for her lone Quick card, which honestly isn’t even that bad. 

Passive Skills: KP is honestly overloaded in this department. In my opinion, she has the best set of passives currently in game. Every single one, roughly equates to a relatively generic Craft Essence of decent potency.

Mad Enhancement A+ is starting off extremely strong. An 11% Buster up for free on a Buster unit makes most Merlin targets jealous. This is most often found in Berserkers, who balance their offensive power with a certain level of frailty, KP doesn’t share that general weakness.

Independent Action B is probably KP’s weakest passive. An 8% free boost to critical damage really isn’t a bad boon at all, as we’ve been in a crit meta since Merlin was released, but KP really isn’t a crit unit. With that in mind, she totally can take good advantage of this, depending on your team. 

Territory Creation EX is extremely strong. Honestly, most units would kill to have KP’s passives up to this point. A 12% boon to Arts performance at all times, turns KP’s Arts cards from “good” to “very good.”

Divine Essence A is KP’s defensive skill. 25% debuff resistance makes her just a little more robust and reliable and 250 free damage on every attack is nice, even if it largely won’t make too much of a difference at high-level content. I guess at least it adds up over time?

Active Skills: At first glance, KP’s actives are odd, but upon closer inspection, they are both potent and grant good synergy with the rest of her kit. 

Huge Scale C is one of KP’s id_es skills. This grants her a unique “Infinite Growth” buff that grants her stacking max HP buffs with a permanent duration every turn. These buffs start at 2000 HP and at max level reach 3000. KP can stack up to 10 of these for a max boon of 30000 HP. This acts as faux-healing of sorts and it also fuels some of her other abilities. It has a 10 turn CD. 

Infantile Regression C is KP’s internal engine of sorts. It eats her “Infinite Growth” buff and any stacks that she has acquired in order to give her a turn of skill haste and grant her NP charge based upon the number of stacks she consumed. The NP charge ranges from 10 to 20% per stack, resulting in a maximum NP charge effect of 200%. It winds up with a 5 turn CD. 

Monstrous Strength EX is an excellent self attack buff. 40% for 3 turns on a 5 turn CD is nothing to scoff at, especially with a skill haste effect. With certain compositions, it becomes possible for two of these buffs to be active at once, granting our headpat goddess a nightmarish 80% attack up atop the unit with the second highest attack stat in the game. This is without taking into account other party members, as this can be easily achieved with KP and the Atlas Academy Mystic Code. (Oh pardon me, I’m getting ahead of myself.)

Noble Phantasm: 

Airavata King Size: The Colossal Figure Coming Out From The Ocean of Life

E Rank, Anti-Unit Noble Phantasm

KP headpats the enemy party. If they’re not dead, she consumes her stacks and pats them again. If she needs a little more oomph, she waits a turn after the consumption. 

This attack is a 5 hit Buster NP. It increases own Buster performance between 20 and 60% depending upon overcharge and if KP has so much as a single stack of growth when activated, it grants her an additional 20% Buster buff. Both of these buffs last the turn and KP is capable of Buster Brave Chaining. 

This Noble Phantasm is very very good and provides perfect explanation for KP’s surface level weirdness. 

Bond 10 CE: 

These Are, Both Arms of Full of... is a perfect CE for KP. Depending on your choice of usage of her, it may not always be optimal but, no matter how you use her, it is quite potent. This CE increases her Buster performance by 20% and additionally increases her attack by 20% if she has at least one stack of growth. With this CE equipped and without any additional party members, KP can Buster Brave Chain with an 100% attack buff and a 71% Buster performance buff while boasting base attack second only to Alterjeanne. 

Tips and Tricks: 

KP is incredibly hard to claim a definitive means of use for. She can solo, she can be a primary damage-dealer, she can be a crit unit, she can be an NP spammer... honestly, she can fill a lot of roles. Consequently, claiming a best CE for her can be tough, as it depends on what you want her to do. In general, her bond CE probably has the best effect for economy, challenged only by The Black Grail (especially if you want her to NP spam.)

I like to use her to fight Riders, who can sometimes discourage conventional support-type units. A typical comp includes Florence (shout out to @acclerated-railgun) and some sort of tank, typically her sister-Alterego Passionlip. A very good argument could be made for Leonidas, especially if you happen to have his Bond CE. Essentially, Florence and the Tank keep everything running smoothly while KP winds up to give headpats of destruction, powered by Angel’s Outcry and sometimes with a nice bounty of crit stars. Mashu is also an excellent choice. 

With Merlin and Tamamo you can create a potent NP spammer that is entirely overloaded with buffs. Tamamo’s party skill haste and KP’s own haste skill enables the 80% attack up (or 100% with Merlin) that I mentioned earlier and you can combine that with The Black Grail’s NP damage boon, with the demerit all but entirely mitigated by infinite growth. The result is a KP who can consistently hit like the Beast she is partially derived from and with party upkeep and defense options that resemble a dedicated stall team. 

Waver and Andersen legitimately go with anything. If the only rare unit that you happen to have is KP, Andersen + Merlin is a top tier Buster-Crit support set up that will enable her. 

If you’re really going for broke, Shakespeare isn’t a bad unit to pair her with, although the previously mentioned units are all better picks. 

She works decently well with fellow Sakuras, Passionlip and Summer BB. Where Passionlip tanks and heals and Summer BB controls and enables broken KP Buster Brave Chains. 

In terms of Mystic Codes, Fragments of 2004 is an excellent choice, particularly in tandem with her Bond CE and/or a Leonidas tank for optimal application of the stars from Thermopylae Enomotia. 

The Atlas Academy Uniform freely enables the attack shenanigans that I mentioned before, I’d recommend it when trying to solo with a CE like Duke of Flames or Demonic Bodhisattva. (Less optimal for that regard is Before Awakening and even worse at that is Steel Training.) 

The Arctic Chaldea Uniform is a great choice for general application, though it is the hardest Mystic Code to level.

KP is weak to buff removal, so running her with Tamamo and Tropical Summer can help mitigate that. 

The Chaldea Combat Uniform, New Years and Chaldea Uniform are also viable for less niche reasons. Also Anniversary Blonde, because Buster. 

Recommended CEs: 

Her Bond CE and The Black Grail are probably the most optimal. Throwing a Crit CE if you’re trying a crit build with likely be beneficial. I would personally recommend Knight’s Pride as she has more than enough HP to offset the defense demerit. 

I personally think you should try and focus on NP damage, as her NP scaling is low and you want to fire her NP as often as possible when trying to do damage, even in crit-focused teams. 

With that in mind, anything that buffs Buster or attack in general is likely at least usable on her. 

Any CEs I mentioned earlier are also good choices, especially in the context I mentioned them. 

Conclusion: If there was ever a Servant to Grail for gameplay, KP is it. She can literally make the most of any base attack increase with her own absurd self-buffing. 

She’s also an adorable giant headpat goddess with a completely distinctive sprite. 

Also her kit is so unique that using her feels completely different from every other unit in the game. Even other high damage units or AoE Alteregos don’t feel anything like Kingprotea. 

In a lot of ways, you can really just try stuff with her, a lot of it works a lot better than you’d think it would on the surface. 

She’s really good fun honestly, and I can’t recommend her enough. 

[codylabs]

Chapter 27: Farewell Savage Fate

Links: P 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

- Time:

- 2013 A.D., June 12th, 2:50pm (you don’t really need to pay attention to the times, they’re there for MY benefit.)

- Place:

- Crash Site Omega (control room)

-Warning: Intruders have begun Reactor 5 startup. Power output: 5% and rising. Coolant levels sufficient.

-Warning: Intruders have access to all remaining ship systems and engines.

-Input: Assign bioforms 3 and 4 a threat level of 20. Combat preference: Immediate lethal force. You are clear to engage. Take no survivors.

-Threat reassessed. Antimatter pellets loaded and launchers charged. Drones 155, 157, 158, 163, 164, 174, 175 and 179 engaging.

The 8 drones did exactly as they had been instructed, without a briefest moment’s hesitation. They hovered quietly out of the darkness, their eyes fixed on the entrance to the control room, their weapons hot, their minds already visualizing the battle.

Intruder 3, whom friendly faces knew as McGucket, was still busy at the computer, and would not be able to react in time. A single antimatter round could penetrate his torso and explode, killing him instantly. Stan, identified as intruder 4, remained catatonic in the chair; even if he were to wake up now, he would not be able to offer much resistance. Another antimatter round would terminate him.

Two shots. That’s all that was needed. Each drone loaded four for good measure.

But then something happened.

A brilliant flash of blue light lit up the control room. McGucket jumped backwards from the controls, startled and frightened. Did I just do that? This alien tech must be touchier than it looks… But then when he looked hard at the readouts, nothing seemed to have changed… All the settings and feedback were just where he’d left them… But then he noticed something really quite odd: The plasma beam weapon that had been leaned beside him was no longer there. He glanced around. Stan didn’t have it. Where did it go? What happened? It was right he—

The sound of eight simultaneous explosions echoed through the room. He heard debris rattling against the walls from outside, saw a scrap of burned wreckage bounce in past the doors, and shards of plating and chunks of robotic innards clattering to the ground outside.

Stanley was awake in an instant. “HI HEY NO PLEASE SUSAN I COULDN’T…! *Snrf* …Heeeey, can’t a fella get any sleep around here?”

“I dunno whatappened!” McGucket cried, rushing toward the door with Stan on his heels. “Whasappenin’ whatwassat noise whosthere whereintarnashin my death ray run off to?”

They looked out. Stan didn’t remember it being quite so warm and smoky. McGucket didn’t remember there being quite so many burned, smashed piles of robotic wreckage.

He also didn’t remember leaving his death ray out here. Yet there it was, sitting on the floor at his feet, that very same tool he’d misplaced seconds ago.

McGucket picked it up and found that it was lighter; its fuel tanks were nearly empty. And a quick check of the electrical charge revealed that the batteries were almost wasted as well.

The ignition chamber was still warm.

“Well I’ll be a pork-bellied feather-hearted dingleberry… What in the name of me Pappie’s gibberflunked bramblesnippin’ Mississippi combine just happened?”

“You need to keep better track of that thing.” Stan told him.

“Did you just do that just now?” McGucket asked.

“Did who do huh? Did something happen?”

“Wha--? But… The thing…? Oh my, lookit these poor robits…”

Stan made a long string of confused grunkley noises. “Welp, I’m in over my head. You got a brother I could call? I mean… A phone I could brother? I mean… Agh, can’t talk today. Hey waitaminute, where are the kids?”

“Yeh can’t get service down here…” McGucket reminded him. “Oh yeah, and them two teenagins said they’s was curious ‘bout somethin’, and ran off that-a-way.” He pointed off into the darkness.

“…Aaaagh. Dumb kids. Don’t they know there’s killer robots down here? …Okay; so you’re sure something blew all these things up?”

“Well yeah, an’ I think it may’ve used my plasma beam ta do it!” McGucket objected. “But I can’t rightly figger how they got it right out from under my nose, or ‘ow they did it so fast. Y’know this thing needs a moment to prime, a little bit ta charge, and even longer ta cool down, so it woulda taken a while ta do all this, but I believe I heard the events occur simultaneously, and…”

“Yeah, yeah, alright, listen, pal I’ve been living in a cramped ship’s cabin with my nerdy brother for the better part of a year now, and I have developed an extremely short fuse for technical mumbo-jumbo. So here’s how it is: if somethin’s weird, you say ‘somethin’s weird’ and stop there. Savvy?”

“Err… Sorry… Somethin’s weird.” McGucket said.

“Great. Weird. We know weird. We can handle weird. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with weird.” Stan pulled the doors closed behind them as they stepped into the control room. “Now. In case some maaaaagical death-ray-stealing mischief fairies wanna pay us another visit, I’ll leave it open a crack so we can hear ‘em coming.”

“Sounds good…” McGucket wrung his hands together as he stepped back up to the console. “Well… Actually, I think I got the programmin’ all finished. The reactor should be workin’ again. The gravitational nacelle has been calibrated to focus on the Forest of Daggers, and-”

“So what yer SAYIN’ is…” Stanley crossed his arms. “This whole joint’s gonna get weird once ya push that big red button.”

“…Yeah.”

“Better wait ‘till the kids are back then.”

“…I could run it through a test sequence…” McGucket scratched his chin. “Bring the core up to 50% output ta test for malfunctulations and stir up some noise; get ‘em back here faster.”

“Yeah. Great. Do that.”

McGucket hit the big red button.

It started quiet and built in intensity; an enormous, rumbling sort of hum, which thundered through the frame of the ship, shaking the walls, steadily overcoming all lesser noise.

McGucket turned it off again after a minute.

Stan adjusted his hearing aid. “That was a little loud.” He understated.

“Yeah, well, I reckon the coolant compressors had some corrosion, and the hydraulics were nearly rusted shut, so that’s my guess as to why…”

“Geez, you just take any little thing as an excuse to start in on it, don’t ya?” Stan grunted.

“Sorry.”

A noise from beyond the door interrupted them. It sounded like gunfire. From a raygun. Raygunfire.

“OKAY WHAT WAS THAT?!?” Stanley picked up a weapon, and marched for the door. “That better not be you stupid fairy brats again! Because I swear, this is getting on my last nerve! C’mon out and show yourself!”

But when he levered the hatch open, he froze in surprise.

“Ford?”

“Stanley?”

- Time:

- 2013 A.D., June 12th, 4:30pm (it doesn’t really matter when this was, but plotwise it happened before.)

- Place:

- Ford’s study, beneath the Mystery Shack (time and place where Sam happened to locate Ford)

Mabel stared up at the shapeshifter for a minute. Then she blinked, rubbed her eyes, and looked again. Yeeeah, that’s him alright.

She didn’t know why he was here, who let him out of the bunker, or what he was doing here. To be honest, she hadn’t even a faint inkling of what the heck happened at all while she was asleep. Gee whiz, spend one afternoon in a coma, and now the single nastiest and scariest monster I’ve ever met is right in here in the Shack… She had quite a lot of questions, but Great Uncle Ford or anybody was nowhere around to answer them. There was only this creature, this hideous, frightening… Thing.

Oh well.

She may as well just ask.

“Hi guy!” She smiled, forcing a smile onto her face. Be Mabel. She thought. Just like Dipper told you. Be Mabel. Think good thoughts… This IS gonna end up okay. One way or another. “How’s it going?” She asked, as her cheery words forced past her fear. “When did you get here?”

Sam hadn’t been expecting a question like that. In fact, he hadn’t expected even a hint of this cheery disposition. Unsure of how to react, he found himself answering candidly. “Twenty minutes ago…”

“Okay! Uh…!” She hopped down from her chair and stretched her sore neck as she glanced around the room. “Have you seen my Great Uncle? He was just here I think.”

“…He’s gone.”

She blinked. “Well yeah, I can see that; did you see where he went?”

“I think I kindnapped him.” He heard himself answer truthfully again.

“Whaaaat…?” Mabel frowned up at him skeptically. “How in pig’s name are you not sure if you kidnapped somebody?”

“Well, I…” Sam blinked down at the little girl. “…He disappeared. I’m sure it was me who did it, or who will do it. And… I… Uh.” He looked down at the yellow time machine in his hands, and felt himself descending ever deeper into confusion.

Mabel followed his eyes. Her jaw dropped and she gasped loudly. “What…! You! Wha! That’s no tape measure! THAT’S A TIME MACHINE! You have a time machine! You really have one! For real! Where’d you get it?”

“Y-yes. I… My mother gave it to me, I—”

“You have a mother?!? What’s she like?!?”

“I-wha-hey!” He finally found his focus again, reminded himself that he was in charge, and drug the conversation back on-topic. “YES. I have a time machine.” He repeated, clicking his teeth. “And I’ve been using it to remake my life as I will… I took Ford, I outsmarted all of you, and now, I have everything I want…”

Before she had time to feel intimidated, Mabel started talking again. “This is so awesome…!” She smiled, as her brain but together a plan. “Yes… YES! With a time machine, we can save him! It’s perfect! This fixes everything! We have a TIME MACHINE! Man, your mom must be AWESOME! Is it your birthday? Or is it Christmas? Do aliens have Christmas in June? Summermas? Where did she buy it?”

“…Calm down.” Sam frowned at her.

“Saaaay new friend, could I actually borrow that thing for a minute?” Mabel pleaded. “It’s really really reallyreallyreallysuperduper important.”

“Calm down.” He repeated.

“I’ll give it right back and everything!” She promised as she reached for it. “But my brother kind of died a couple days ago so I really need to save him. It’s really kind of urgent so would that be alright? You could come too if you want!”

“QUIET!” He reached out a hand and pushed her away. She stumbled right over on the floor, and almost hit her head on the corner of a table as she went over. Sam blinked, surprised. Oops. She’s weaker than I thought. I almost hurt her; I didn’t mean to hurt her… Wait, why DIDN’T I mean to hurt her? Of course you mean to hurt her! You’re HERE to hurt her…!

“You’re a fool.” He growled out loud. “You’re asking me to loan you this? To save your brother?…” I’m here to hurt her. “Don’t you know who I am and what I’ve done?”

She stared at him blankly. “Well… Yeah, you’re the shapeshifter guy…? You kinda--”

“My name is Sam, and I’m your enemy.” He explained. “And as for what I’ve done, did you know your brother’s death was no accident?” He held up the machine. “I just used this to kill him, stupid. He’s dead because of ME. And I’m proud of it. Because I hated him.”

Mabel eased slowly up to a sitting position in one corner of the room, and then even slower to her feet. “Oh…” Her voice became small and flat, as she considered this latest revelation for a minute. “Oh.” She finally repeated.

He nodded. “Now what do you think of that?”

“Well… Uh…” Mabel’s shoulders shuddered briefly. “That’s… Kind of… Mean.”

Sam wasn’t sure if he’d heard that right. “Mean.”

“Yeah, pretty mean…” Mabel informed him. “Like… Pretty selfish too… Most people would be… Nicer than that.”

The two little orifices on the top of his head emitted a snort. Mabel supposed that they must be his nostrils. “Are you… Brain dead?” He asked, as his fangs clicked in amusement. “You do realize what I’m saying, don’t you? That I killed your brother in cold blood? That I’m going to kill your uncle? That your own fate is subject to my whim…? You do understand… Don’t you?”

Mabel wrung her hands inside her sweater sleeves. “…Yeah.” She said. “I get it.”

“…Then why aren’t you thinking dark thoughts?”

Dark thoughts…

Mabel recognized those words. Robbie once said those words. The day that Dipper died, Robbie had stolen her joy with those words. The day she’d brought Robbie along on her happy little adventure, and sent him down into the bunker, he’d come back with those words… Mabel finally put it all together.

“Oh…” She said. “That wasn’t Robbie, that was you… That was when you got out…” Her voice got small. “I let you out.”

“Give the young lady a prize.”

“Uh… Oh… I’m really sorry… I mean! Uh, no, not sorry, I mean good for you! Hi! Welcome to the surface world! Uh… Ooh. Gee. Awkward…”

There was silence for a moment in the room, as the girl and the monster looked at each other, neither one precisely sure what next to do or say. Finally Mabel spoke up again.

“So… Uh… Besides for killing people, what are you doing?” The girl asked. “Like… I’m still kind of confused, and time travel is really complicated so… What’s going on?”

Sam looked at her.

“Well…” He started. “I was just taking care of some business. Making sure that things happened the way they were supposed to. Making sure I got to where I am today. Controlling your very lives.”

“…You can’t control my life.” Mabel frowned.

“Oh, but I can. In fact, I already have… Do you remember this?” He produced a small metal box, popped it open, and removed the robot kitten, of all things.

“Oh… Uh… Hi Juan!” Mabel waved at the little metal creature.

Sam stuffed it unceremoniously back in the box. “You loved it so much that I can use it to manipulate you. I saved it when your family tried to kill it… And now… Oh, I have a wonderful idea! What if I were to give it back to you the next night, with a note attached to it that said you needed to take action? What if that was the spark that lit the fire inside you? What if that were the reason you first launched on your hairbrained quest and accidentally freed me? What if…”

Sam walked over to one of the computers in Ford’s study, and booted it up. When a data entry program appeared, he began to type. “How about it? Am I talking nonsense, or truly writing history here?” He finished typing, and hit another button.

A nearby old-timey printer began to chatter, and it noisily emitted a single small piece of paper. “There!” Sam held up the note and shoved it in Mabel’s face. “Is that the note? Does that sound like something nice enough to get you to do something stupid?”

Mabel read it.

Enjoy the time you have with him.

Because it’s not right for him to stay here long.

Find a good place for him, Mabel. We believe in you.

Be wise and loving. Be his hero. Save his life.

Mabel read it a second time.

“Uh…” She mumbled. “Yeah… That’s the note… Hmm. Oh.”

“Well then.” Sam pulled out the time machine, and disappeared in a flash of light.

Mabel blinked and stared at the place where he’d been standing.

She took a step back, and found herself all the way in the corner of the room.

I always just thought it was an honest, well-meaning invisible wizard who did that. She pounded her forehead with her fists. I just thought ‘hey, there must actually be some decent, happy people somewhere in the world’… But it was all a lie. Everything I did, it was just a random, convoluted, pointless wild goose chase that accomplished nothing except ruining everything.

But… Wait… If Sam DIDN’T give me that note, then I WOULDN’T have done anything, and I WOULDN’T have freed him and he WOULDN’T have given me that note! …But since he DID give me that note, I DID free him, so he DID give me that note… It’s just a weird random circle that happened for no reason except itself! Dang it time travel! Why you gotta be so complicated?!?

…Well… Actually, this entire thing relies pretty heavily on me being stupid. I was so bent on being kind, so determined to find niceness and happiness where there was none, that I turned my brain off entirely.

So if at any time I’d just decided to use my head, then that would’ve been it. And it wouldn’t have happened.

If the time loop ever DID had a cause, then that cause was me.

…

Dipper, what do I DO?

There was another flash of blue light, and Sam was standing there again.

“And that’s it.” He spread his arms grandly, like a magician would after the completion of a spectacle. “I’ve been hopping around doing whatever I please, killing whoever I please. And that’s why your uncle’s gone too. Soon as I’m through with you, I’ll head back in time, take him away, and do as I will…”

“Yeah…” She whispered. “I see.”

“It all fits.” He told her. “I did it. It’s been a complicated equation, but I’m the answer. I’m the end. And that’s what’s happening.”

Mabel bit her lip and squeezed back tears.

You need to be stronger, Mabel. Dipper’s words whispered in the back of her memory. No matter what happens, to me or anybody else, we need you to be strong. Strong enough to hold together when something hits you. Tough enough to take a thousand hits and never break. Be hopeful. Be loving. Be cheerful, and caring, and good… Be that way forever. With or without me. That’s what we need you to do…

Mabel took a deep breath. In an instant, she knew exactly what she had to do. I have a job. She remembered. Fate has a job for sweet, happy, trusting little Mabel, and I’m the only one that can do it.

Time to do it.

“Hey Sam.” She said.

“What?”

“I’m…” She wiped her eyes and struggled to hold her voice steady. She really was afraid. “Uh… Why you haven’t killed me? …Do you like me?”

“I— What?” He grew a couple inches taller and snarled. “I don’t like you.”

“Eh… Well! I mean!” Mabel stuttered. “I mean you must have hated Dippingsauce a lot to kill him, but with me you’re just standing there, so that means you don’t hate me. I mean you don’t have a reason to hurt me and you don’t really want to. And that’s why you don’t. So yeah, so right, so there.”

There was silence for a minute in the darkened room.

Sam hadn’t thought about it like that before. But now that it came down to it, he realized it was true… He didn’t hate her.

He remembered his mother. How she treated everything like an object, or a tool. In all things she acted shrewd, cruel, pragmatic and level. She hurt and killed anyone that ever crossed her, never hesitated to stoop to the sickest, most murderous depths to gain any advantage. Power was the name of her game, and strength was its only rules. That made sense to Sam. That fit with what he knew and had seen. That was the only way it ought to be.

When he realized that he himself didn’t hate somebody… It felt like weakness. Why don’t I hate her?

Why AM I even talking to her, anyway?

What am I trying to do?

He’d come here for revenge; to destroy even the memory of everyone who’d been responsible for what happened to him: Stanford Pines, Fiddleford McGucket, Dipper Pines, Wendy Corduroy…

And he’d also wanted to find his people, so that he would no longer be alone. But now that he knew what it meant to be a part of his own family, now I know what his mother expects of an ally, Now… It seemed to him that he hated her as much as he hated the rest of his enemies.

But that was also none of Mabel’s business.

Sam opened his mouth to growl something, but the girl was already talking again. “I dunno about you, but I want a happy ending!” She stated. “And I bet deep down you actually want to help me! Because really everybody wants everything to turn out alright. So do you think there’s any chance you could have a change of heart and start being a good guy instead of a bad guy anytime soon?”

Sam blinked as if in shock, having a hard time believing that such a train of thought could even exist. “…Really…?”

“Come on!” Mabel pleaded. “I know you can’t be all bad! You let me sit on your lap and drive when you were pretending to be Robbie! And how about Tambry? She’s been on her Facepage account, and her Bumblr account, and her Chirper account, and all her accounts all week really, talking about how great the concert was and how great Robbie was but you were Robbie!”

“I had to learn to operate a vehicle.” He explained. “You were the only one around with a rudimentary understanding. That wasn’t you sitting on my lap, that was me tricking you into teaching me. And as for Tambry, I needed to blend in. Killing and eating her wouldn’t have blended in.” Wait, what am I doing? Sam demanded of himself. Am I trying to justify myself to HER? Trying to convince her that I AM a monster?

If you want to convince her of THAT. Another thought intruded on his mind. Just kill her. Remember who and what and where you are. You’ve got places to be and things to do. Standing here chatting with a teenage girl is wasting precious seconds. You were right in the middle of your revenge!

“Well yeah but you still did let me sit on your lap!” She once again interrupted him. “And you still were extra nice to Tambry even when you didn’t have to; so how about it? Maybe you were even happier when you were nice to people! I don’t know, but maybe down deep inside you’re actually a nice person! And the only little problem is that you’re just really angry and mean and evil and think it’s alright to do terrible things, but you’re actually nice… You know, like Beauty and the Beast or Doofenshmirtz or Count Bleck!”

Sam stared at her.

Mabel swallowed quietly.

I have a job to do.

It all led up to this. It all wraps up in this. It all ends now.

She told her foot to take a step forward, but it hesitated. Come on, move you stupid leg! She silently shouted. I need you forward! The place where you aren’t! Just move movemove come on move! Sure it looks like a monster up there, but it’s really a person somewhere inside, a person who needs his justice too! Come on, this is it! Take a step! Her leg wasn’t used to being yelled at, and finally obeyed.

Then she told her other foot to take a step too. It hesitated as well, but obeyed just like the other. She could hear her own heart beating, and knew she had to keep talking so that fear wouldn’t drive her right back.

“S-s-so how about it, Sam?” She asked, and with a monumental effort forced a smile onto her face. “Maybe… Maybe we could work together to make everything right again! Maybe you don’t have to be the bad guy, maybe you don’t have to be alone, or sad, or angry… Maybe everything could be okay if you just stop thinking dark thoughts…”

She was close enough to touch him now. Close enough to smell his breath. Close enough that he could injure her by no more than flinching. Close enough to make out every detail of his creepy, slimy body. Close enough to even hug him.

“Come on, Sam…” She said. “Don’t you want a happy ending?”

In spite of himself, Sam considered it.

He weighed all sides of the issue. He remembered all the evil that had been done between him and this family he was killing. Stanford and Fiddleford’s experiments, and the years spent locked underground. Dipper and Wendy’s attempts at his life… But in return… There was everything he’d done back to them… So Sam then wondered about forgiveness: could this family forgive him? And could he forgive this family? Was forgiveness possible after things such as this? Could there ever be peace?

…And were friends something he ever wanted? He remembered the time spent with Tambry. Indeed, the best week of his life had been the one where she loved him; where he had people around to laugh and joke and eat and sing with. Nowhere, in all the revenge and violence or deceit since, had he ever tasted anything as sweet as love…

…But would any of it be worth it, to forsake the destiny his mother had laid out for him? She would have him live a life of lies, violence, malice… And with that life would come strength, power, greatness… A chance, perhaps, to one day return to his people, even earn their respect. He could earn allies, powerful allies. He could have anything he wanted…

Anything he wanted…

But what if peace was what he wanted?

Sam thought about these matters.

And then he made his decision.

He raised his hands in the air, and brought them down hard. Mabel’s body broke and twisted and came to pieces as he smashed her to death. And each blow brought more resolution, more clarity, more confidence to his soul, as he knew then and there exactly the type of man he was. But it also broke his heart, for he knew that he was throwing away what could be his one and only chance at honest friendship.

In that moment, he hated himself more than he had ever hated another, so that he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, and longed more than anything in the world to change his decision. But there was no going back on it now; he had sealed his soul and his fate, with a sin so cruel and monumental that could not be undone, even within his own mind. And with this burden on his heart, he turned and left the lab, to continue a life that led ever deeper into darkness.

At least.

That’s exactly what would have happened.

But instead, before he made his decision, while he still thought about these matters, he was distracted. And while he was distracted, Mabel’s hand darted forward, and plucked the time machine out of his hand.

The action was so quick, so nimble, and so utterly unexpected, that he didn’t even have time to react until she was already gone.

Gone, gone, gone.

Already gone.

- Time:

- 2013 A.D. (somewhen)

- Place:

- Ford’s study, beneath the Mystery Shack

The ethereal blast of the time-jump left her disoriented as her feet touched down in Ford’s study in some other distant time. She wasn’t sure exactly when she was, she just knew that she was safe.

It worked. Mabel gasped.

As soon as she was sure, her legs buckled beneath her, and she collapsed onto the cold wooden floor, crying and shaking and maybe even laughing just a tiny little bit. “I’m sorry…” She blubbered. “I’m sorry Sam… I’m sorry… I lied… You…” She choked. “You don’t get a happy ending you gross, fat, lying, murdering, poop-headed JERK! …You killed my brother… Nobody… Nobody gets to do that… Nobody… Nobody… Nobody…”

- Time:

- 2013 A.D., June 12th, 2:50pm (about the same time, maybe a little before)

- Place:

- Crash Site Omega (some place on the way back from the Shifter’s lair)

The close metal walls of the alien ship creeped with slime, rust, and decay. In every direction they stretched, great decrepit monoliths interwoven with deliberate purpose by beings long since dead. The trusses and members of the walls curved over and beneath and around the hallways, like the uneven, bloated ribs of some monstrous, shapeless corpse. The rays from the headlamp reflected strangely off the faded metal surfaces, casting shadows shaped like reflections, and reflections shaped like shadows.

It was a scary place on its own. Human minds have always guarded a natural fear of the strange and unknown, and this environment seemed designed to foster such unease. Any pillar might seem to hide an enemy. Any dark area might conceal death. Everything but the very nearest walls were a mystery, forgotten since time out of mind.

Wendy should have been afraid.

But this place wasn’t strange or unknown to her any more. She understood it, and the very real, very dangerous threats that inhabited it: the cold reckoning and electronic reflexes of patrolling security machines, and the wily, bloodthirsty intelligence of a timeless, formless beast. There was a reason, she knew, that this place had gone unnoticed for so very long: everybody who ventures inside was killed. Murderous natures did lurk around every corner. Fear was never irrational.

Wendy should have been afraid.

And yes, she did want out of here.

Yes, she wanted nothing but to return to peaceful places, to be reunited with loved ones, and to lie quietly at home in the light, far from harm and the burden of destiny and violence.

Yes, she was in phenomenal pain.

Yes, she was probably bleeding out.

Yes, she was trying very hard to keep her eyes open, because she knew that if she bent over and fell asleep now, she would never awake.

But she wasn’t afraid.

Not even a little.

Not anymore.

Her slow, limping trudge was interrupted by a quiet noise from somewhere up ahead. A pair of security drones hovered around a corner and fixed her with their unwavering red stare. Beneath their smooth surfaces, all manner of weapons charged and readied.

But their sensors swept her, and found none of the usual chemical markers of hostility. They saw her calm. Perhaps one of them sent a request to the security officer, asking for input on how to deal with this subject. But the officer never responded.

“Don’t even try it.” Wendy muttered up at their unhearing stares. “She’s already dead. And I’m already gone.”

She never stopped walking. And the drones did nothing but watch as she approached, watch her pass between them, and watch her backside as she continued on her way.

Soon now… So soon, and it would all be over. Once she finished her tasks and closed all the time loops, she would be free to undo all of history. Return things to the way they were supposed to be. Return to peaceful days free of sickness. Return to the nights when she could sleep easy. Return to a time when killer robots were the worst she had to deal with.

Return to the mission.

Return to him.

- Time:

- 2013 A.D., June 12th, 4:28pm (less than a minute after Sam’s appearance)

- Place:

- Ford’s study, beneath the Mystery Shack

Ford didn’t honestly have time to put together what all was happening. All he knew was that somehow, the shapeshifter was right here in the Shack, his niece was helpless and asleep behind him, and this thing is a much faster than I…

Strong hands grabbed him by the collar and hurled him headfirst toward the wall. He winced instinctively to prepare for the impact, as he reached for a weapon hidden in his coat.

Then there was a flash of blue light, and he didn’t hit the wall; he hit Mabel.

They both went into a pile on the floor.

“OOF! HEY! WHAT?!?”

Mabel stood back up unharmed and ecstatic. “It worked! It worked!” She blared like a siren. “I saved you! It worked!”

“Umm! Uh! Agh! What’s happening?” He staggered to his feet and drew the gun. He saw the shapeshifter standing in the middle of the room, frozen mid-throw… And he saw that Mabel was still where he’d left her, asleep in the chair. Suddenly, he wasn’t sure who he should be aiming at: the frozen shapeshifter, or the mysterious second Mabel?

Before he could do either, the mysterious second Mabel had her arms wrapped tightly around his hips, squeezing him in a tight hug and jumping up and down at the same time.

“I can’t believe I did it! It worked! It worked! I time-traveled like an expert pro and I froze time and I saved you! At first I was confused because time machines should just have only two buttons, for forward and backward, but instead it had a bunch of other buttons and one of them said ‘FRZ’ which I first thought stood for ‘Fat Rolling Zebras’ but then I realized it stood for ‘FReeZe’ as in ‘freeze,’ so I tried it out and time froze so here we are, and I’m sorry when I’m excited I tend to deliver exposition in really long unbroken sentences!” She finally took a breath. “But anyway it’s like destiny or something! IT WORKED!”

Ford poked his fingers up under his glasses to rub his eyes, then tried to compose himself as he waited for the spots to clear. He took a deep breath. He was still sick with a high fever, and still running on about 2 hours of sleep; not the best conditions to go on any type of adventure, let alone making sense of whatever the heck this was. “Okay.” He said anyway. “I think I got it, but just in case… Would you remind repeating all that again? Significantly slower this time please.”

Sam stared at the place where Mabel had disappeared, having taken his fate, his hope, and his one possession with her.

He had been tricked.

But he was not unintelligent. He was not unfamiliar with the way time travel worked. He knew in an instant what this meant.

It meant that she was going to save her uncle. That had been the real reason he disappeared. It was her who’d taken him, not to kill him as Sam would have, but to save him. Now that Sam’s greatest, oldest enemy had access to the tape, Sam realized that he could be easily killed at any time. Just as I killed the boy. At any point they could freeze the flow of time, and appear among that breach in the flow with a deadly weapon at the ready. I won’t see anything. I won’t feel anything. At any moment now, any moment at all, I’ll see a flash of bluish light, and when it fades, I will stand with a mortal wound.

Any moment now…

Any moment now, and the good guys will win.

Any moment.

Sam stared at the place on the floor.

He imagined Mabel standing there again, and tried to think what he might try to say to her if he could. What could he say? Could he apologize? Could he beg? Could he undo time and give her back her beloved brother? No… Yes… No… Perhaps… If only she were here again… Oh, who am I kidding? If she were here again, the only smart option would be to kill her again…

Then he imagined Stanford there, and tried to rehearse what he might say to him. Could he reason with him? Could he accuse him? Or just beg for mercy all over again; beg to be consigned to another terrible life in a cold prison beneath the ground? It would be so much better than death… ANYHING was better than death. Anything but that cold, dark, mysterious hell… No… No, if Ford were here, I would just attack him again. Because I will not suffer prison again. Never, not again, not one minute more. Death, any death, would be better than that.

He imagined Tambry there. What the devil could he say to her? Perhaps, before he died, he would have liked to tell her that he really did love her. He wasn’t sure if it was true, but he wished so badly that it was. Most of all, he would’ve just liked to thank her for loving him, and for leading him through the one beautiful week he’d ever had in his life; the one he’d spent in the light. That, he knew, was true. Oh, Tambry… If you were here… I could tell you that I did indeed love you… But if you were here, you would finally see me for who I really am, and then you would hate me, just like all the others. You would hate me for being a monster. And I would kill you and possibly eat you, because… Because…

Why? Why are you so bloodthirsty, Sam? Why is every inclination of your soul only evil all the time? How did you come to be the monster that you are? What foul soul did you inherit from that psycho mother of yours? What black deeds must she and her kind have done, far away and long ago, so black and pitiless and cruel that they echo right down to you…?

Then he imagined his mother there.

And he couldn’t imagine a single thing he could possibly say to her. He couldn’t even bring himself to meet her eyes. He bowed his head.

“You’re weak.” In the back of his mind, he heard his mother’s words whispering down at him. “If you were strong, you could have killed him when you were a child. If you were strong, you could have escaped. If you were strong, you could have killed them all. If you were strong, you could have been worthy to stand, worthy to be called my son. If you were strong… If you were strong… If you were strong…

If I was strong…

Sam couldn’t cry. His eyes didn’t naturally have any tear ducts, for his body was slimy enough already. And he couldn’t’ scream. He’d never screamed before, only roared or snarled. But those were sounds for anger, for fight-or-flight, for pain of the body. He didn’t know what sound to make for this pain of the soul, or for this incredible, overpowering mortal fear. He knelt down on the floor and he wondered if he could pray at least.

Dear God.

Dear God…

…

God, I hate you too.

There was nothing else to say, nothing at all.

But a song did come to mind.

It was an old, classic song, one that McGucket used to play 30-something years ago, down in the lab on an old record player. It was long ago in Sam’s youth, and he hadn’t quite understood the meaning of the words back then. But he recalled them now, and now he understood. Indeed, it seemed as if it had been written for him, so he quietly recited it.

“Well, my name, it is Sam Hall, Sam Hall.

Yes, my name, it is Sam Hall, it is Sam Hall.

My name it is Sam Hall, and I hate you one and all.

And I hate you, one and all,

Curse your eyes.

…

I killed a man, they said, so they said.

I killed a man, they said, so they said.

I killed a man, they said, and I smashed in his head.

And I left him lying dead,

Curse his eyes.

…

But a-swinging, I must go, I must go.

A-swinging, I must go, I must go.

A-swinging, I must go while you critters down below,

Yell up, “SAM I TOLD YOU SO!”

Well curse your eyes.

…

I saw Mabel in the crowd, in the crowd.

I saw Mabel in the crowd, in the crowd.

I saw Mabel in the crowd and I hollered, right out loud,

“Hey there Mabel, ain’t you proud?

Curse your eyes.”

…

Then the sheriff, he came to, he came to.

Ah, yeah, the sheriff, he came to, he came to.

The sheriff, he come to and he said “Sam, how’re you?”

And I said, “Well, sheriff, how’re you?

Curse your eyes…”

…

My name is Samuel, Samuel.

My name is Samuel, Samuel.

My name is Samuel, and I’ll see you all in hell.

And I’ll see you all in hell.

Curse your eyes…”

He shifted one of his hands into a long, bony stinger. And he placed it under his chin. He lowered the bone density in his skull so that it would be easy and painless.

“…And I’ll see you all in hell…

…Curse your eyes…”

- Time:

- 2013 A.D., June 12th, 3:05pm (one hour previously)

- Place:

- Crash Site Omega (last known location of Wendy, Stan, McGucket, and Robbie)

A short time jump, a two-mile walk, and a seemingly endless ladder later, Ford and Mabel found themselves slowly and stealthily progressing through the engine room of the alien spacecraft. Mabel’s story mulled around in Ford’s head, while worry and anger built up in his chest.

“Wow, this place is creepy. How come you never brought me down here? Are there lots of aliens? It’s dirty down here. They must have run out of soap. And did they invent sparkles on their world? We need to take them to our glitter. Wow, di-”

“And you’re sure the Valentino boy was replaced?” Ford interrupted.

“Uh-huh.” She nodded. “You’re sure that he went down here with everyone?”

“Yes…” Ford hissed. His worry increased with the darkness and the silence and their depth beneath the ground, and his anger increased with Mabel’s constant talking and chattering and cheeriness. Why couldn’t she just calm down and be quiet? Didn’t she realized the danger wasn’t yet passed?

Eventually, the walls began to shake, and a great noise filled the air. Ford pulled Mabel for cover, and they sat there together in the dark, waiting for the noise to pass. Ford realized that it must be McGucket; he must have gotten the ship’s reactor working again… At least he hoped it was him… He hoped his friend was still alive, still in control… One worry on top of another.

“So what are we doing down here, again?” Mabel asked.

Ford’s patience was growing dangerously thin.

“We.” He growled. “Need to find the others, and warn them about the shapeshifter. There’s no telling where and when it has been, or what it did, before you trapped it. It could have been here right at this very moment…!”

“That last sentence was pretty confusing, but okay, I’ll be quiet!” Mabel whispered a little too loudly. “Wait, hold on, when are we right now? Are we in the present?”

“Every time is the present when you’re in it.” Ford rolled his eyes. “It’s a subjective term.”

“Brain hurting…”

“To answer your question, we’re about an hour before you stole the time machine from it. With any luck, that will prevent it from seeing us coming.”

“Hmm… Okay, yeah, but actually, I think he’s a ‘he’ not an ‘it’. I mean since he has a soul and everything.”

“What?”

“Right? I mean, living underground for so long probably made him really sad and angry. And now that he’s out, he got a name, and a mom, and he really started to… You know, really become his own person and everything… Like, his revenge is wrong and everything, but it still makes sense…”

“The… The… The ability to think…” Ford stuttered. “D-d-doesn’t make you a person. Neither does the ability to lie. But that doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is that we find everyone else, get them to safety, and get out again without being seen by something worse…”

“Stealth mode… Activated.” Mabel pulled her sweater up over her nose, and combed her hair into a ninja mask.

Ford paused to stare at her. “…Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better at least!” He suddenly burst. “You know, for a girl who just lost her brother to a murderous monster that she unleashed herself, you’re acting awfully chipper, you know that?”

That hurt.

But Mabel was used to hurt after all this. She’d already reached rock bottom today. Rock bottom was a terrible place to be… But Dipper had met her there. He’d still loved her there, and he’d helped her rise back up.

“He forgave me.” Mabel said.

Ford lost his temper as he stood up and continued down the passage. “Then he’s a BETTER MAN than I!”

That hurt even more.

Mabel was silent from that point on.

And Ford pushed onward, trying to ignore his own guilt, as he wondered if perhaps he was the one the shifter truly hated. Perhaps all of this was just an elaborate, contrived ploy to get back at him… Perhaps it’s all my fault. Perhaps that really was an intelligent creature I locked in my lab for all those years. Perhaps if I’d treated him as an equal, or a friend, or a child, then… No. NO! It’s an ‘it’! It’s evil! It killed! And it will kill again! Ford pushed his guilt, and his doubt, and all other cluttering, pointless thoughts toward the back of his mind. And he promised to think about it later; sometime when everything was safe. Sometime when he could afford to waste even a single moment on such thoughts. Sometime when real people, when humans, when family, weren’t in danger of death.

Finally, a dim yellowish light appeared not far ahead, reflecting green off the bluish walls. They rounded one last corner to find the light shining out through a crack in a heavy metal door; Ford recognized it as the entrance to the control room. Somebody must still be inside. Please be Fiddleford and Stan. Please be alive…

But then Ford noticed something very odd: this hallway had been rather empty the last time he’d been down here. But now it was messy; cluttered with debris and broken machinery and thousands of shards of shattered glass. He motioned Mabel to a standstill, and pulled out a magnet gun as he bent to inspect the wreckage. He recognized a lot of these parts; fusion pulse weapons, tentacled robot arms, and scraps of spherical glass shells, perhaps 2 meters wide.

“What’s all this clutter? Was this an alien attic or something?” Mabel whispered from his elbow.

“No, these are security drones… Or they were…” Ford poked at it with the barrel of the magnet gun.

“Are they all dead?”

“Well it definitely appears as if… Wait.” Ford’s eyes swept the carnage. Toward the opposite end, a single motor twitched. One of the red triangular eyes lit up briefly to look at him.

Ford flipped the gun to its pulse setting, and shot it. The red eye flashed, and sparks arced across its body, frying and scrambling its circuits. The remains of its artificial intelligence realized it ought to send some manner of report back to the central mainframe, but it was so frazzled that its last words ended up being nothing but an incoherent string of nonsense: “INTRUDERS DETECTED INCONCLUSIVE REFERENCE CODE RETURN THREAT LEVEL UPGRADED TO JELLY ROLL ONE: ERROR 443\]kl;/oij#JE’~~3Dde~~~…” It broadcasted with the last of its consciousness.

“Now they’re all dead.” Ford answered confidently.

“Okay. So-”

“OKAY WHAT WAS THAT?!?” A new voice spoke up, coming from the control room entrance. “That better not be you stupid fairy brats again! Because I swear, this is getting on my last nerve! C’mon out and show yourself!”

Ford spun on his heels. The narrow sliver of light creaked open to its full width, and the silhouette of his twin brother was suddenly standing in the gap.

“Ford?”

“Stanley?”

- Time:

- 2013 A.D., June 12th, 3:05pm (concurrent)

- Place:

- Crash Site Omega (Wendy)

It seemed like hours of walking, with the pain burning through every wound in her body, blood pooling from the spike in her stomach, and her legs stiff beneath her. It was probably only 20 minutes or something, but still.

Finally, she reached the control room at the ship’s center, and pulled the tape to jump back to right before she’d heard the ship’s engines going off; back when she’d first realized drones were being sent to kill McGucket and Stan.

She hit the ‘freeze’ button on the tape as she appeared, and took a moment to look around. Sure enough, there were no fewer than 8 drones approaching the control room, and sure enough, the old men had no idea what was coming. Stan was even asleep.

Ugh.

Well, they’re too high of the ground to use an axe… And I left the ray gun somewhere… Ugh… Oh hey, wait, McGucket brought that new death ray of his, didn’t he? Yeah, he has it down here…

She stumbled into the control room, unfroze the massive weapon, and brought it back outside.

Okaaaay, soo… How do you turn this thing on?

She messed with it for a couple seconds, flipping this switch and that, pulling the trigger, and scratching the record (why is there a record player?) Eventually she found a switch that made it make a whole lot of funny noises, and another one that turned on the ‘ignition’ light. The weapon roared to life in her hands, and a swirling, glowing pink ball of pure sci-fi-ness formed a few inches from the tip. She aimed it upwards at the first drone and pulled the trigger.

Wham.

The time-frozen room glowed with brilliant pink light for a moment, as the superheated beam tore through the robot’s shell. The grass cracked, the metal components melted, and its batteries violently burst.

But time was still frozen, so its debris just hung motionless in the air, mid-explosion, as Wendy aimed the weapon at the next drone.

Wham.

And the next.

Wham.

Wham.

Wham.

Wham.

Wham.

Wham.

Finally they were all dead, and Stan and McGucket were safe.

Huh. Wow. She looked down at the death ray. I actually REALLY like this thing. She unfroze time just long enough to watch the robots’ wreckage clatter to the ground, and catch the stench of warm smoke. Then she dropped the death ray where she stood, and stepped back into the shadow of a nearby pipe to think through strategy: Okay, so they’re safe, that’s a real load off. But now how do I find Sam? How do I get myself medical attention when I can’t trust anyone? How do I keep him from killing Mabel and Ford and everybody else? Where do I go from here?

Oh man, I’m still bleeding…

Every time she thought about her injury, it seemed to be getting worse. And always she seemed to be getting tired faster. Things were getting… Weird… And every time she sat down, it was harder and harder to force herself to stand back up.

After 10 minutes of balancing torture and sleep, she was forcefully drug out of her brooding by the sudden loud discharge of a magnet gun.

“OKAY WHAT WAS THAT?!?” Stan’s distant voice mirrored her thoughts. “That better not be you stupid fairy brats again! Because I swear, this is getting on my last nerve! C’mon out and show yourself!”

Wendy forced herself to an upright sitting position, and peaked around the pipe to see what was happening.

Much to her surprise and suspicion, she saw two guests that she’d presumed dead.

“Ford?”

“Stanley, is that you?”

“Bro, why are YOU down here? I told you to get some rest!”

“The real question is why y’all’re down here!” Mabel piped up. “It’s colder and creepier than the county jail down here! Heck, creepier than a unicorn dungeon! Dare I say, even creepier than a gnome drunk-tank!”

“Mabel!” Stan noticed his great niece standing there with him. “Sweetie! Are you okay? What’re you…? What’re you both doing down…?”

“Stanley give me your hand.” Ford commanded, rushing up to him. “Here. Now. Give it. Quickly and quietly now; we haven’t got all day. Mabel, stand guard, would you?”

“What woah hey what’s the matter with-” Stanley began to protest as Ford grabbed his wrist, drew a small knife, and pricked a hole in Stan’s palm. Stan drew his hand back as fast as he could react, and clutched his wounded fist to his chest. “OW HEY GEEZ FORD WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!? YA COULDA KILLED ME!”

“I… I was just…” Ford looked at the drops of red fluid trickling out of his brother’s fist. “Red blood. Good. My apologies, it was a necessary evil. Stanley, we’ve got a-”

“Look poindexter, I don’t gotta put up with this! I’m OLD!”

“We’ve got a problem.” Ford continued. “Where’s Robert?”

“I said I’m too old for this!” Stan gave one last try at driving the idea appropriately far into his brother’s brain. “TOO. OLD… And wait, who in Stalin’s pits is ‘Robert’…?”

“The Valentino boy! Shaggy, gangly little creature. Wears a hoodie? Eyeliner? Human, I believe.”

“…Oh you mean Robbie? Yeah, he was here earlier. McGucket said he ran off with Wendy about an hour ago. Thought they’d be back by now.”

“Oh, blast it all…” Ford nervously glanced about.

Wendy sighed, and drew her axe. If Ford and Mabel were real, then that was 4 of her friends accounted for, and she could get their help. But if one of them was the Shifter… She didn’t know how she’d face him in her current state, but it would be better to get it out of the way now than later. “ALL RIGHT YOU TWO…” She announced, as loudly and strongly as she could muster. “HERE’S HOW IT IS.”

Everyone turned about, looking for the source of her voice. Ford drew a ray gun and pointed it toward her hiding place in a fit of panic.

“Stan 2…” She struggled upright, using her axe like a walking stick. “You… You know about the shapeshifter… Which means you either beat him, or you are him. So… So prove the first one or I swear I’ll, like… Do something bad…”

“Uh… I can vouch for him!” Mabel spoke up. “He ain’t been out of my sight!”

“And I can vouch for Mabel…” Ford said. “But now YOU… Uh… You’d better be the real Wendy…!”

Wendy figured that was proof enough. Or maybe it wasn’t… Oh, heck if she knew. And even if it wasn’t, she couldn’t fight like this…

She stepped out into the light.

She was bleeding the color red from enough places that they no longer found her suspect.

“Geez, girl, you alright?!?” Stan took in her injuries. “C’mon, sit down! What got ya?”

“Uh…” Wendy finally seemed to partially relax, and let Stan lead her over to a big, round alien chair in the control room. “You… You guys are all okay… You’re all alive. I thought…”

“Wendy, I’m dreadfully sorry, but we have bigger problems!” Ford told her. “We have reason to believe that the Shapeshifter had a parent, likely possessing time-travel capabilities of far-reaching extent. Have you s-”

“Neutralized.” Wendy collapsed into the chair, while Stan fumbled with a first aid kit. “I… T-t-took care of it.”

Ford blinked. “You… Did? It’s captured?”

“Dead.” Wend winced as Stan lifted her jacket to inspect the wound. “She’s dead.”

Mabel put her hand over her mouth. “You killed her?”

Ford frowned. “Are you sure?”

“Yeh.” She grunted quietly.

“Uh…” Ford noticed the greenish filth covering her shirt and forearms for the first time, and was shocked to realize it was all blood. “Uh… Y-y-yes…” He stuttered. “I should think so…”

“Where’s…” Wendy grunted. “W-w-where’s the other one? The first one? Has anyone seen him?” She fixed her eyes on Ford and Mabel. “YOU’VE seen him. Where is he? I’m going to kill him too…”

“The heck you are!” Stan growled, as he kept pressure on her wound with one hand, and rustled through the first-aid kit with the other. “I ain’t no doctor, but you’re in a real bad way, so you’re staying right here until we get ya patched up. You shouldn’t even be walking!”

“Yeah… Yeah I am…!” Wendy pulled a time tape out of her pocket, and coughed. “I know I am, because this one just came flying out of the air at me at the start of the battle, and there’s no way for me to get it except prying it from his cold dead hands and that means I-”

“Wait…” Ford snatched the machine from her grip, and inspected it closesly. It was perfectly identical to the one they’d taken from Sam, right down to the same exact dents and scrapes. He pulled its duplicate out of his pocket. “No, we already did… It’s the same one…”

Wendy stared. “…You mean… You got him…?”

Ford nodded. “Neutralized…”

Wendy blinked tiredly. “Oh.”

“And so if I’m understanding this right, this one a past version of this one…” Ford held up the two tapes. “You have to help me understand this, I-”

“Ford.” Stan growled, as he glared at his brother. “I’ve got my fingers in this girl’s INNARDS trying to pull out a HARPOON, and you’re trying to TECHNOBABBLE with her. Stop talking.”

“…Well. Wait…” Ford scratched his head. “Okay. I know how I can help. I know what I can do… I just need to know where this ‘fight’ is…”

All of a sudden, there was a flash of blue light, and another Ford appeared standing in the room, looking as if weary from a journey. “Well, that’s that…” The second Ford sighed. He glanced at present Ford. “Take the Norther cargo doors out of the engine room, then follow the 3rd hallway on the left as far as it goes. You’ll reach a loose hatch in the left wall near where it’s collapsed, and you can find your way from there.” She pointed to the tape he’d taken from Wendy. “Use that one to return to now.”

“Got it.” The first Ford nodded.

“Also, don’t interfere with anything!” The second Ford added. “DON’T interfere. It already happened the way it did. She got hurt, but she won, so you don’t DARE even RISK messing ANYTHING up…”

“Understood.” Present Ford disappeared, and everybody was left staring at the second Ford: the one who’d just come back from completing the final mission.

“That… That’s that…” Ford sighed.

“That’s it…?” Wendy whispered, scarcely daring to believe it. “That’s it…” She realized it was true, and had a feeling as if a great load had suddenly been lifted from her shoulders.

“What’s it?” Mabel scratched her head.

“I’m kinda perplexified by what gist happened…” McGucket admitted.

“I’ve learned to accept my confusion for what it is.” Stan had totally ignored everything in the past two minutes. But now he sat back, wiped his hands on his shirt, and looked at his brother. “Okay, I think I got the bleeding stopped; least until we can get back to the Shack. So. Now we can talk.”

“Okay… I’ll see if I can put this into simple words…” Ford adjusted his glasses and prepared. “So… Wendy… Ah… Wendy just got through with a… Fight. A very… Intense fight; I watched the whole thing. And… I now no longer doubt Stanley’s claim that her father can wrestle a bear. Also… Wendy, I have to say that you’re much smarter and tougher than I ever gave you credit for. And I don’t doubt that your grit, ingenuity, and unsettlingly high tolerance for pain just saved all our lives.”

“Gee thanks.” She mumbled. “But you coulda helped out too while you were there…”

“Couldn’t risk it.” Ford stated briefly. “Now, moving on. A number of… ‘Stable time loops’ were employed during all today’s events. Things happened the way they did because time travel forced them to happen the way they already did. Information and persons traveling backward through a stable time-like curve result in recursive causality.”

“Ford.” Stan frowned. “Yer technobabbling again. We’ve talked about this.”

“Sorry, sorry… Anyway… To summarize, things were weird.” Ford summarized. “But now… To the very best of my knowledge, all those time loops are ‘closed’. That is, we’ve completed all the actions needed to make things happen the way they have. And, by some miracle of either talent, intelligence, luck, or all three, the way they happened is that we won. It’s all done. We are now officially free to live out the rest of our lives without fear of the Shapeshifters.”

“You mean Sam and his mom.” Mabel corrected him.

“I…” Ford considered that. “Yes… Yes… Sam and it’s… And his mom. We are free to live without fear of Sam and his mother.”

“But we won’t.” Wendy muttered.

“Hmm?” Ford clarified. “What did you say?”

“We won’t.” Wendy repeated. “Dipper’s dead. And we ain’t gonna leave him that way.”

“Oh, and also Robbie!” Mabel added. “Robbie’s probably dead too.”

“And Robbie.” Wendy agreed. “Right… Keep forgetting about him. But anyway, we’re going to save them. And… Okay. I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I’ve got a good plan. I think that if I went back alone, there’s one single moment that I could change. And if I change it, if I knew then what I know now, then none of this would have happened. I know exactly where I need to go…”

“Well…” Ford winced as he looked down at the tape. “I’m… I’m not sure we can undo Dipper’s death with these. They seem to form stable time loops only and-”

“There’s a switch on the side.” Wendy sighed. “When it’s engaged, you don’t time-travel like normal, it just beams back your brain. It replaces a version of yourself at a previous date. Good for fixing mistakes, I guess.”

“Oh.” Ford flipped the switch, and then stared at the tape again for a minute or so. “But…” His voice was small. “But if we undo everything…”

“Yep. Sam’s mom will be back alive.” Wendy admitted, wishing she could forget that detail. “And Sam will be back in the bunker. It’ll be like nothing happened, because nothing did.”

“You… You saw her though!” Ford wished he wasn’t making the argument that he was. “You saw how dangerous she is! How psychopathic she is! How many people she’s killed! You LIVED through the experience of how MUCH it takes to DESTROY her! We CAN’T risk undoing that! Suppose she catches even the faintest HINT of what happened?!? She could be anywhere, anyone, anywhen…! She-”

“That’s less important!” Wendy retorted.

“It’s not that simple!” Ford pleaded. “Do you have any idea how lucky we were today?!?”

“I have an idea that I didn’t fight across time and space just to hide for the rest of my sorry, miserable life!” Stan tried his best to stop her, but Wendy pushed him aside and struggled to her feet, pressing her arm to her stomach to keep the bandages in place. She stepped right up into Ford’s face, and glared. “I did it because my best friend died, and I want him back…” She told him. “Now if it’s all the same to you, I’m tired, I’m in pain, and I just want to start fresh. So GIVE me back that tape, or YOU are an obstacle.”

“…Ms. Corduroy.” He said. “Be reasonable-”

“Mabel, go for it.” Wendy sighed.

Mabel leapt off a high shelf, and landed on Ford’s back. Her arms and legs all entwined themselves about his face and right arm, and her hair got in his eyes. He stumbled a little bit and almost fell over, so Wendy kicked him in the chest to finish the job, and the time machine flew out of his hand and into the air.

By the time Ford regained his composure, he was lying on the floor, bruised and coughing. Wendy and Mabel were standing over him.

And Stan had caught the tape.

“Stanley…” Ford coughed. “Stanley, you… We… You must realize this is foolishness…! You know we can’t do this again…!”

Stan stared at the tape.

He thought about it all for a good long minute.

“Y’know Poindexter…” He hummed. “When we were out sailing the world this last year… When we heard the siren’s song, did we turn around?”

“We… What?” Ford frowned.

“No. We didn’t.” Stan said. “What did we do? We pulled out our hearing aids, we sailed right in, we kicked their tails, and we found a whole chest of pearls, now didn’t we?”

“Well… Well, yes, I suppose we did, but what does that have to do with-”

“And how about when we ran into that bounty hunter? Did we hide from her? What woulda happened if we hid from her?”

“Then… Then we would have had to leave the rocket launcher behind…?” Ford frowned. “…And… I don’t know, probably would have been defenseless against the cyclocks…”

“And how about that one warlord? If we woulda put up our hands and backed out of that business, we’d be permanently banned from Peru, not to mention never meeting all those babes in that harem of his…”

“We’re in mixed company, Stanley.” Ford glanced toward the children.

“And how ‘bout Bill?!?” Stanley demanded. “When Bill had you during Weirdmageddon, WE were all SAFE! We coulda RAN! Left the town scot-free! Instead these morons drag me along to give up everything for your stupid hide, and wouldn’t ya know it, we just so happened to save this whole lousy dimension along the way!”

Ford nodded.

“And my brain…” Stanley said. “Soon as my mind was wiped, you all started right in helping me back up; mixing up old memories, tickling the old thinker, making me a Grunkle again… Even though ya must’ve worried that you might’ve been stirring Bill up too… Ya coulda left it be, but nooooo, instead you loved me too much, and now we all gotta worry that maybe he’s still rattling around in there, kicking stones and twisting wires…”

“If he ever comes back we can deal with it…” Ford growled.

“That’s what I’m saying!” Stan agreed. “That’s seriously, like, the moral of our entire adult lives; that we DON’T RUN…! Remember, we’re PINES! And Pines don’t leave family behind. We stand by each other through thick and thin… We’re there for each other! No matter what! Seriously, get your head in the game, poindexter…”

Ford’s eyes fell.

The room was silent for a moment.

“All right.” Ford whispered.

Stan handed the tape to Wendy. “Go get ‘em, sweety.”

“But…” Ford implored. “But we don’t know what’ll happen… Nobody can know…”

“HA HA! Well that’s the funny thing, isn’t it?” Stan chuckled. “Cause we kinda DO! Wendy here says she actually once met a future version of herself!”

“Dude.” Wendy frowned at him.

“Yeah!” Stan continued, with a beaming smile. “She was all grown up and everything! And this freaky chick says that her and Dipper are actually married by then! Can ya believe that?!?”

“What.” Ford’s expression went blank.

“EH?” McGucket almost dropped his glasses.

“SQQUEEEEE!” Mabel instantaneously lost all motor control.

“…You did not just say that.” Wendy glared at her Grunkle. “You gave me your word. You scumbag.”

“Wha-haaaaat? I’m rootin’ for ya babe!” Stan put up his hands and took a step back, smiling broadly. “And besides, this timeline is all gonna get undone anyway, so it’s not like I really spoiled anything!”

“This close.” Wendy growled, holding up her fingers to a very narrow width. “This close to having a brick shoved up your nose.”

“Okay, okay, you’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry… Yeah, uh… Okay, that wasn’t cool.” Stan glanced down at Mabel, rolling around on the floor and frothing at the mouth just a little. “Yeah, uh… Hmm… I guess you better get outta here then…”

“Darn right I better…”

“Hey.” He put a hand on Wendy’s shoulder. “You done good kid. I, uh… I dunno what to say besides that this reality bites, so you go back and make a better one. You knock ‘em dead, you grow up to be that hero, and watch out for my nephew, hey? Make sure he does the same.”

“Yeah.”

“And also. You proved me right, kid.” He said sincerely. “This was your day to shine. Even if nobody saw it, you did it, and you proved for good an all that you are that hero. Hope he knows that.”

Wendy nodded.

“…Wait.” Ford said.

They looked down at him.

He stood slowly to his feet, a look of sorrow on his face. “I’m… I’m the villain in this story… I am, aren’t I.”

“The heck are you on about?” Stan frowned at him. “Y’know we’ve got time-traveling booger monsters runnin’ around, not ta mention killer robots up the wazoo…”

“No, I…” Ford rubbed his face through his hands. “I mean… Is it my fault, for treating… For treating ‘Sam’ like I did? Are they just monsters? Or are they people?”

“I treated ‘im bad as you…” Mumbled McGucket. “Like livestock…”

“Hey, what’s done is done.” Stan spread his arms. “Ya didn’t know all this back then, right?”

“But am I still the bad guy?” Ford asked. “Are they people? Do they think, feel, live, choose…”

“I dunno…” Wendy shrugged. “I guess so.”

“Then…” Ford nodded. “That means he has a soul. And that means I misused mine. That means that wrong was done… Uh… Would you mind… When you go back, would you mind telling past-me what happened? You don’t have to tell him everything, just… Just, he would have liked to know what could have been avoided… He’d like to know about the shapeshifter… And about who he is… It occurs to me that I’m sorry for what I did to him. It occurs to me I imprisoned him, and treated him unfairly for many years. If he ever could have been anything more than a monster… I’d have liked to know.”

Wendy nodded again. “Alright.”

“Biscuit Brown.” Ford added. “Carrot Costume.”

“Wait, what?”

“Tell past-me that.” Ford nodded. “‘Biscuit Brown’, and ‘Carrot Costume’… They’re codes. So that he’ll know that it’s serious.”

“Okay…” Wendy repeated the codes to herself with a shrug. They were bizarre, and nonsensical, but that’s part of what made them easy to remember. She fished out the pull-tab of the tape measure. “Guess this is goodbye, then, ish.”

“WAITWAITWAIT *cough* I GOTTA *cough* I JUST REMEMBERED THAT I’VE GOTTA COME TOO!”

“No.” Wendy told Mabel.

“BUT! UH! …But what about Robbie? I gotta stop him from going underground where he could get snagged by the shapeshifter! That means I definitely have to come back with you and uh incidentally know your secret also but that’s just a side detail I mean really who cares…”

“Well…” Wendy knew that, objectively, Robbie’s safety was much more valuable than Mabel not knowing. If it meant him living, Mabel had to come. She glared at Stan. “Now look what you’ve did.”

“Sorry.” He winced.

“Okay…” Wendy realized that she was too tired and worn and injured to even care. She glanced back at Mabel. “Fine… But if you tell anyone else…”

“Even Dipper?”

“Especially Dipper… Ugh… If you tell then I’ll…! I’ll… I dunno, I’ll do something bad… Okay?”

“Okay! I get it. You don’t have to worry. And besides, my vast network of spies would have eventually found out anyway, so it’s probably better this way.”

“…Yeah, I suppose that makes sense.”

Wendy held up the time machine, double-checked that the switch was in ‘unstable’ mode, and gripped her hand around the ‘backward’ button.

Mabel put her hand on the device too, so that the field would encompass both of them.

Wendy checked the time on her phone, then pulled the tape out to 4 days, 2 hours, and 15 minutes, then double-checked her math.

She knew where she was going.

This was going to work.

“Bye friends!” Mabel said. “We go to the past in the name of the future!”

“Adios.” Stan gave thumbs-up.

“Smell ya later!” Fiddleford danced a little jig.

Ford sighed, and closed his eyes. “Farewell.”

“And that’s all she wrote…” Wendy released the tape.

Voom.

Ph qry ermw, zvy ygo lgnlr bzs.

Dhw’v ysfzysev los nyufgzl vt mgkydafn hbv xpsl gm vyi rtfw ophb yox, wgjrwhx cttz zpa, zzmstafn kckn sie, jlgnztr walo vcd… Vprzswg nykj cgmsr lrode s uowfu zzgwlosl, igtsw s mogzrj; a tjlsx knlt ogbzx xxzw dsyuyi gyd klychxkc afv tclv vzwwjmif, lteid los zlzfrw ovifu hp swubfy wuc hwj jvccjcef, sur nykj cgmsr cenlbal h kiiro ox losci uhn… Al dom r jcese avyp nld kzhfyu, gyd vjlog knpy zsk zimko, ak ebqb ry ehwq’k zimko esuo cnykc.

Bml os qry oesv ucq.

Yk hak vlox.

Rto wzwys qry dhw?

Los zfm zf mfjchjitomkusmj ywoodf zcwzpd sfk gbv uaefwk vyi kjek, lv hubk sej xpfmk mzov dvce rz sej flk bfsp.

Il ohg u egcrgo, jmfztorauhz jiodof, oocmv zlld, ktcikn haddz kyik mrgclb ierj bq s zaucr xelss bcgvwe, darsfp csejw mciu czudv is xzyaefklr. Uej ehw xscii cls kdvdyu oywsjk zcbk l szsszin iznw, lvkuij l djspb wfbprwv pb zztp mwko; zcbkwy ewhbn ku noddlqn ykc ujaus uej hakll. Gbv ylt mh hbx dugev sycoej ehw jvcg, rto fgmur ck zz bw kv ggrrw tzsa gbv izudv acotn molz zwxvy lt gfjs.

Myk aewjlr wcudedq hh nyk comfk kucrd, afv mcoej ehsl avyp cprw kswayzwy ljhbmggcefl; hg cw yse owys fzbtny augcuk l gayhbnzi eekl aivv. Uftkaks nyk eutw zhifj wofy swhvy zf glosl kamek au juiozuk kpnyj, gyd af isnnkpn lzlfy nkce ogyyvvtnhwk, sov vwfihelbn, rto sljhbav, zpnlsjzyu iceslbfyj ge wgjr.

Gbv xpcgyuwtvj ehwkl qlvgeujwz; hbve hejw avy jgxe ozpqb ygo ifnhryu npr ogyzx; knp ssel kbzis hsv ksmtkydwv mfid zse kcf hi iulm oaav wrxpfjwl oougnilq; avy jgxe ozpqb ygo kadssx ykc pwgwzy; knp ssel kbzis hsv rwfcko hae.

Hg nyk xifmasm konkwv im uej ehwq wocu npr fg ucnzip, szw zon lv lnv tluue zz wsljv nykx.

Il ibwwbrj bwuhay trpaj lv vyi zsal losmv vlrlajifrx nrwsailvy hejw uscknpr ugueovxprk fvf qrxcigjz, wh wgnt lzlm qvxp nglowhx szrw looh jiteflpgnj, czrcauu nf gyadqgs uej fnvwygnrto add avy kntnyk avyp nld xgbbx. Knpy kwlayu kicallr, okzprdq lbuducev ophb knpij ovfe rto tzwpf wlxtomkphs rto tzw zdyckydav ysmlres gx avyzx dtjsuuy kkdtk. Wphbvx oivf’a yhfc zr vakb’n tgce stvin knp ssnhuy dkehgvz ps nntcz loss’u gnqmaysx knpij kbpdvies.

Wnlbnlgwlq loss dgoe lzlwl ngj dgou hbv rtnw lv vyi zfbw, sur vvmln lg asmk npr.

Lzlm mkank kehzf kuzlk auhi ykc pjazch ku aocw hbx gxzd zwy. Hcjyfe kstdfvy hejw aoevt. Hijwz kyik waav vjyi npr kuhzj ku dcjmawhzfp hwj twhu. Zsejehz, r-igj, afv tcfviflsj kwmgrlcwelbn zslgafn uumk ehwe cwyny lnv yyojyy zf wnlfs jwfajw pbwy uq hwj icxp. Yzmw gm hbv zpslk oilk. Yzmw gm hbvs hejw pbprytvw. Kvay fl ehwe sszk npr laysx rto afyym.

Vlz ehjgbub zz lld, kos hvbpr yscs og npr jwzcfmk lnv zlf wrrx. Afv hg nyk somjz hctqpd tq hbx kacnwv pbnf jlyk, kos qrznhwv avyd, pfsl sz qffyplq sz hbve haluosx ykc. Szw dontnpd lzla fzqp a tayr qrznhwk wfyp, rtkw s nihjrtnywy kukisek s jvucrpnywy, zcbk l dwllqnzbp wsljvyj zse egcsgvte ox s zvuuuhy wflas. Jnp lakashvj eo lzlwl cgygmsns, uej dhw ohhwyko tzwpf avyeujwz ohu zseaj isbrbtojk, hbx jnp csel hi ltoejkaohu zsee. Muryiyeafv avy jizpw sur jlxaokw vt nyktr ogyy, uej ehw kpny rto cgewzyooey gx avcj ysih, sur nyge hwj vkh grlnwl dome’z ehw xpfmk zz rwulwpv yfcz lysukspnl.

Kos ymkytmsszs tgxe lg bbxvxdtsfk hbvs aejxlqnce.

Lnv kos brzpd lzla.

Fftr bwxvfy knp twkag brj noehssnvj, hhadl gbv cls klpzf zt ehw eprmk uq hwj woce, csef kos qry qewdpba ry dmsds ohu gd hwdwzyjy ls kzl spvx, dhw dvcevj zul sa vyi kyeealg, uej xavw osl uknikavb.

Myk xavw hb irzs.

Szw zkiik fpgf owm jufl lzhh myk homdk opvtre zat. Gbv yhojw avuk yse ogbzx fbprugts ucr ehwkl tilr ehafng; mtopnlazhm, juwdawyg, gftdtwjz, ofzkys, sfk shkoce sjtwyj… Yse kovfy knlt kzl kilro gjgd— Ulfc fnlas gbv hpcsel hbv WFEWF vt nyod vwkzsf, rto tzsa gbv czudv RWFC kgejq zwhxrp msf, dcgrt, lnv kuwpvrtny uowfu zsal dpjyu uybgsyr…

Myk dwgjl wn. Lvzn zaz ayducy, sfk ijft lld los xiklmk loon knpy zsk rlvgxt, kzl gqfxp il. Sur qyky szw oox ykc ohhvfnltttq, oosh jknujaam qvte lsp, dvye gwl osz eozke afv avyp gwl zsk hbvoc bsurg nlxyev… Kos qfawd sua ijft tt.

Al dom ftwy s ehhnvx zf lats.

Uej xesfdvcck, dhw ovifu yfrnacs.

“Sfac bagscazill kanbukace vglgh’k sltuz dwny gyy gx avy fzsej uysukacek au vyik, lnv gbf hvacodgnwwrr dcsfz whuonalw avuk ezu darsfp vzskwzg mfsp dwyysy fl deflpshtk. Xojwvjyi, ezu zscsh’k xpshguryu zz tzw asmky ls sf hbcdgw wgmsr, fvgoify bg nf hplawcs nyge ygm hfy zteeflpchrrwy zakwhx ezuj siwfzztek sur cezpldanshtk… Mul… Tbh qv’xp ngl oslv zz hmja mil. Cp rwsszs rxpn’l, A dohk ezu lg bbxvxdtsfk hbrz. He bmzh qrte tg cucq puf. Ww’jl qoiozuk, jpubk? Ezu cfvk qyge cmjpcoj od, dgf’a mil…? Yz… Sg am mil iln mfksljzlnv el, cl zl jom’jl qidvcezwurcem lnqlowhx O’x ssqpba, grpakw nwpv yzmw kvfn fl diyf… P fyrrwy vgu’h gvgy ygm hbs ygcm…”

Kzl zifqpd mh hh Xi. &X/\MJ sk os nrrvev, sur myk fnvwygnfuo pwjmswkrj. Sgelvin zse ‘mfpjyiyll ljhbmcgeoj’ (gy kbrzpvwj os wrrwev loon ukgiuw) zsydko tg tl qidsfnauhhcem oijwjhfp oytg zlf vigtn, kg avuk zse ewhbcem mezaur Xi. &X/\MJ’k fhgucrj, slmjy-og bziuw dom zsaokkppfv zz makz. Pok yse vakb’n ikdpgfk myk. Oy ojvlf zfx ehak ac af npr osf, vy ygo tg ylh bzs eo ljbgn ykc. Szw oox ku rel zpa nf rpt zaz uorxo dgou.

“Dfvgde, s kpuh. Rtj sayu on rrw, rwsszs… Puf kfgd, ky ygo ygm zhiiko walo hbv ayifllzfzmpnl uhfaf, jzwf au hbv rzwwj sspvrd. Ix qvi jiuge lg hqnlgwlq tl o mvteiwfa pyztr, ww uvifu aagjsks sfac salbonzuy walo qyizlif sjqidszdslpchj; lfld-kpnyu wfajllfm, modilgyg, u mgciwlf cz dkllk… Qvi xft’e swwt hi cove lzl ofxgw pskas, vlz he usu tusxtcsll ayrz ls owsz, ii… Uc sowlhm? Uu jom dpyy jcpelk? Johue…?”

Ehak dom ftp ox los mtopnlazhm nnz pjgisx ykc (dav avyp zsifc zvy tuflvf’a fyturnarl vcd?). Hft mfswev zse gloslj, np swwtsx boyd. Kzl’r bvgcd zat cvaknt lg h tyn uq tzw tclv oyvskpjy kkdtk, zl’r xiuapwv swnkrp tjwhhm zteo zwy tyvjtny lbpy wxzm lats nf ztmw, sur bv’j lscwk cpvx lnv gcsl wuc tzw jvueip tg kwsub cttz zlf xzxpcldf. Vy iklldq dom rt sofwzh, qvrw-mwsuwhx, qtnvdf cfu sln, oaavilz lnq ehzctozuk auhyeztofk mcl knp cjwhhoikd hw kaixzko.

“Rwsszs…” Yk znuw huuzt cehwhhyu. “Xpaddf, W xf clnl ooon’j hpsl xvf sfa… Oo qgb… Ri puf hsnl o hrsp? Hsnl o avtoej? Kvaykntny qvi qrte? Afq xiyjztofk mcl dk? Lrw qvi nyk daew zdytops sk avy yudtadlg qyonh slaowbko omj lljcucalavb nvgx…?”

Szw nzueipd sl avy fzsej kjwyeztslk, hg cw yse osz ozigtd gx avyd. Jc. &R/\TB mfintpd, jwjcaeokify osl tuycwju. “Ib… Ln, homdk mil stnv kasjgoyg gma cz knp rggt tii g xoewuh, avtelwelb…?” Bv kycgmyoavj sik uvzfvgruwk, dvcck eujflr ungj fjgt hbv stcjgwviek. “T, uz… A oopv gy ivwh. W nyoyk kzl’g dlye susysx.”

Knpy vak om ztdtjmjhyu, gyd Vj. &Y/\PD kacnwv iowb zz hwj. “Ds’lv gwofw ucq…”

“…De… Xy fsts… Gp tlmw az ███████.” Gbv yaocw pb bvx yalacs frtrusyl, hi uodgmazs nyk qudd llnvte ox zlf cezpldanshtk.

“Fh…” Vj. &Y/\PD jkpmwv zvitqpd. “Owsz bvrwo!” Zw isudko. “I-a-aa’g mf bprq fpqy ku xewl fco, ███████! Knlt’k s cslp rzvwdf budk, fh… A’e zc acgo ygm kswzjpd lg afojz xe…”

“Qgb’fy r ttcw ehb…” Myk fswv h ggrrw taepr pfone, dars nyge ox s scmk mtrd, lv rcjmfikw osl dgwiuw. “P’a mfxcy A vprh’k zllc, A dom aadt kg zquiko, afv P kuezpd lg owxv… Gce… Sjl as dux afv kox zt sejw aci?”

Yk rlsfjsx rxzufv uslmufsdq mcl r ypcgfk. “Ob… Nkwl, fg… Uc, C’d yzrjq, iin pufr egavyi gyd xsavyi… Axm… Vakb’n dgve al. Iin nk’ce sds bctk aeghss bvxp! Ww’jl bik mzify ac blxe ygm! Fco tgy hsnl o hvc soew oslv…”

Gwl zaz kiijd wwjl zcvy, mul kos jzknev lvuyknpr kgts mtxlpk gm hllzs. Sg los myoa mmka vumk wexl vil nuclv. Ol aojz lld tl offtp ngo, vin zt ehw efgnvxtomk cccu. Zsejw pg hf nplh xvf gv, hft lzlfy zy llkg uc bvra fgj avyd… “Axm…” Kzl gbllqlwv osl wkpt. A flsx duce afmcldgeigf. P byvj waqgbhm fl oeucz, shxoyek, uoocey zf ugtauej. T nwwk cok. “Yz… Wzsa wm knts hdhqy vdlcldf?”

Hbv qtnv kjwyeztsl ohgnvj yo lats ce ucgsfpncem l tgmy, gi vgrej ohg bv zz fgkasl tuxmmfpqukozn sfk uifjhidd dwny zsik flkfp-jtsugcslvj tnlwszcxkyt damszfxx. Hw zhr bvx alsulr ce g xuuz avcetpr, hgyhusrp cgfaocekc, afv lgwfxeev zlf nyxzuyz avy cuh-swubfcke lrwsz cz knp szaw, gbfctny zlf nyod afv avuk, kipdspbcem soo los aiggilq kfcmk hojclr, uej ehw zfdyijcinw, hbx knp gqjvgwfvps sfk hbv oxpjgiovzrttq uvflvieigf kmhrszs. Sfk gbv gdkwv awgzj willss mkaaiv ibsmkoznk oowwy np afkdslvj eo lzl pyjz zf zaz ovzrttq.

Oosh knprw ohg zztlldq uc gfxp tg tl uuztpd lzycoxn eadc, zvy rieev. Kos mygaekzptnvj qoj los zzxdt lats mztne zwy shkxlpewuh, nrqtny gu o zfxx sljvba vtzuyz ac viklk lzycoxn ehw ysomj.

Yse jawdyu Jc. &R/\TB’z hbiult gma. Gbv gwsg cpzfvj 6 xojw wsigrp wzg oojgkyev lv py jzlnvauu hvgcbq, sur mgxlywv h hioon sdats uiufnv lv rykkc pmjziyiy. Dhw sas bvx qidd mfid zse tgkwyj (oe wsk zc afuo tg zhjy dklt syhwh), knpn vmjyyu oytg los pvteidsawie yjslwt, kbvxp szw oox r isaful hi jntfl auhi knp fgjt cz r jtfxwyshk yniwfawmk, gyd ugtdijk sejklzz nntlw kos jikaajwk hi gxzpwjsm celtlljhhy knp cjwd.

Pok zse kwjhii cpnl auhi cunkvgdb glis fskasl knln kzl srgkntwv, avy mkytadhhcft ouulz gyrrpd gxm, ohu zse kasshk, lwoslpba xalrvk jogv. Gwtzgbub knpsw jvihu, yeajauu grisifwz kyik calzlf mkaaiv au hbvoc oof ywayz, dhw uvifut’e fggs hbvoc bagtsnion swfzclj; zseq olfy nkwl wibwjgko tg kls nyxzuyz osl uodgmazs. Mf, hpfgjl hbvoc msff kyrvznk, kos mlxcefvlfyu gyd dwa vyiyplx tl rycogejwk putq eo lzl hosk.

Tt kwlayu rtkw s zhyg hlcc, tbh ck clsf’l, mcl jnp hsv ssuitpd. Dwhfhvj zf lzl quggmidaawyj uq hwj lbydops, sfk gidkehafn cz knpij oloeekdswk. Hg nyk hewcz ohu zsokw pbnf sznlzz, ohu gd tzw wceztr afv wfiujtny sur jiumify jchkoyuwv dwnyuft uwhgy, ykc pdsug ymuwvwv hbx xxpw. Xjva bvx eiew vin knprw, kos jlz eoywavyi sptzgkg nf uftoaa hbv jcofwz, hi seaakk scwbjzwfk, ac ezrw enwu aiik aeghss.

Myk vnwo ocq.

Jnp wgmsr mlxginw.

[rennyji]

July 13th tweets...

July 13th tweets...

So I like all music that sounds good. From Rap to Becky G singing her song “Shower.”

Now, regarding Rap, some of the wording can make things awkward. I was blasting 99 problems remix from Jay Z feat Linkin Park. While listening, I’m at a red light in Tuckahoe. An elderly Caucasian woman walks across the street in front of my car, and Jay Z yells, “Ive got 99 problems but a b*tch ain’t one…” I can only imagine what goes through that old lady’s mind.

now from jay z’s perspective, in what older white men would call street language, when you think about it, from that one line, hes saying he has a slew of problems, but he’s so good or suave with women that, that part of his life is set…so in the spirit of expressions among some men like: “b*tches be trippin…” , it’s a crude way of referring to women for the sake of what is understood and accepted as cool.

Regardless,”99 problems” and the Linkin park remix really stimulate you or is invigorating. So it’s hard not to listen to it for the yelling and the tunes.

Then there’s DMX, God bless his soul.

While he sings”X Gon give it to ya” or even “Lord Give Me A Sign”,he also sings a song (I forget the name…oh yeah…it’s called “X is Coming” by DMX), where one of the lyrics is about how someone crossed him, pushes him, and how he lets his rage and anger manifest in threats. How does he express this? Well for one thing, he says he’ll shoot this guys wife…ummm ok. But then he says, if the guy who messed with him, has a daughter, and she’s 15 (he specifically mentions her as 15), DMX says, he, a grown man, will rape the 15 year old daughter. I mean WTF?! But maybe like poetry, you can’t take it literally, and you gotta see “what he means” or “where this hate?! Is coming from.” To rape a 15 year old daughter, words can’t express his hate for the dad or the offender, so he chooses those words.

“Hes basically saying, if you f*k with him, he won’t stop short of killing you. But he wants to take it a step further and say he is so spiteful, that he will screw you and ur entire family. Point being, don’t f*k with him.”

Even then, though I get where he’s going with lyrics, isn’t raping a 15 year old, pedophilia? Where there’s a Will, there’s a way, and there’s always more than one way to do something or say something. If he wants to express hate, why is this grown man talking that way about 15 year old girls?! I felt awkward with the elderly white woman walking in front of my car at Jay Z saying, I got 99 problems, but a b*tch ain’t one. It would be humiliating if that elderly white woman walked by my car while DMX expresses his hate toward haters, by talking about raping 15 year olds. I mean geez, WTF?! On a comical note, based on “what’s” said and “how” it’s said, theres the song “Last Night”by Diddy and Keyshia Cole. You gotta wonder how Keyshia Cole goes along with Diddy monologuing at the end of the song with :

“

Hello

Hey what's up?

I've been tryin' to reach you all night

That shit ain't funny not picking up the mutha fuckin' phone

Better stop fucking playing with a n*gga's feelings like that

You know how much I love you though right?

But for those couple of seconds though,

When I couldn't get in touch with you.

I'm ready to come over your house and shoot that mutha fucker up

You fuckin' dumb bitch

You better fuckin' not be there when I get over that house

[laughing]

That's really how it goes down right?”

Then there’s rap like from the artist, “Nas.” He has a song called “I can.” 

It’s inspirational, it has a message, the tune or background music just needs to be catchier. 

These rap songs need catchier, classier, diction along with trending or catchy tunes/music.

---

And then there’s Eminem, with “The Way I Am” song.

Part of the lyrics go:

“I don't know you, and no, I don't owe you a mothafuckin' thing

I'm not Mr. N'Sync, I'm not what your friends think

I'm not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick if you tempt me

My tank is on empty, no patience is in me

And if you offend me, I'm lifting you ten feet in the air

I don't care who was there and who saw me just jaw you

Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit

I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe

I'm tired of all you, I don't mean to be mean

But that's all I can be, it's just me

And I am whatever you say I am

If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?

In the paper, the news, every day I am

Radio won't even play my jam

'Cause I am whatever you say I am

If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?

In the paper, the news, every day I am, huh

I don't know, it's just the way I am”

While I’m about networking, by my core nature of a Libran (only inanimate object in the zodiac: the scales of justice), while I’m about people coming to me, talking to me, me talking to them, I hear this song and wonder about instances where the orchestrators filter what I’m saying or use it for their ends. I think about the instructions given to people under the delusion of “wtf?!” Assisting me?! Did anyone think of talking to me and telling me what’s going on, instead of the signs in a delusional scenario that is the definition of conspiracies and leaning toward what some doctors would see as paranoid schizophrenia?! I mean WTF?!  So there’s that part about not owing anything to anyone. If ur just a stranger randomly eavesdropping into my life, then until you speak to me, I don’t know you, I’m not ur friend NOR ur enemy- I mean that’s reality, that’s what the song gets at, that’s how human relationships start out.

I’m writing this, not because I’m presently mad, but because I’m relating to words in a rap song by, a somebody: Eminem. I’m nobody, minding his own business. They blame Eminem for being mean or aggressive with lyrics. But in my “situation” and adult years, I see a guy talking about dealings with human nature, while trying to fix things with his wife, and do everything he can for his daughter. Ive said before, anger can be a source of fuel for ur goals or to get a point across. I mean, under this retarded “make him a role model type hero cr*p, for the no culture or no British style class that is America”, the orchestrators like to press my buttons. The extent they go with pushing buttons is -I’m not just saying this- a type of evil that the mind just can’t digest or grasp.  That’s a bit of info my brain cannot process, grasp, or comprehend. There’s something worse than the teenage type sounds projected or whatever it is that others hear- I keep saying that.

But it’s like Gospel, they have eyes, but don’t see, ears: and don’t hear…

the orchestrators you know about, are so arrogant with thinking they control every aspect of my life, they need to consider where they’re not. They push me, and like Eminem’s rap, “push me/tempt me, then I’m lifting you ten feet in the air…”

I went for the path of computer science and engineering instead of being a doctor like my brother. I would joke to people ages ago, “I don’t have the ‘patience’ to deal with ‘patients.’ ” People are so complicated…language difficulties, talking to non native English speakers, cultural differences,filters they have in their heads/biases, stereotypes they believe in- I mean what a headache. The orchestrators have people believing I’m friendless loser, while they actively keep people away from me. But in the words of Eminem, whatever f*ers, “I am whatever you say I am…”

---

In “Gangstas paradise” by Coolio, there’s one part of the song that goes “you don’t know what’s going on in the kitchen…” it’s incredible what speaks to you in ur adult years…cuz clearly I’m thug…I mean even with all the mind cr*p and technology, not because of ego or arrogance or pride, you and the orchestrators don’t know what’s truly going on in my head, in my house, wherever.

Like rap, I am the meaning behind the lyrics.

---

From The original Hulk/1st ever version of the Hulk movie soundtrack, great themes or scores. Also a great song called “set me free”

“Hey Mama” - one of my favorite songs from Nicki Minaj to blast out while driving…

Great Running music - “Confident” - I think by Demi Lovato … another song of hers that I like “Really Don’t Care”: like that part of the song with the words and background music to “even if the stars and moon collide…”

I miss Beyoncé in Destiny’s Child with songs like “Survivor” … I feel it gets the same point across as DMX’s “X is Coming” without some of the questionable ideas in his lyrics…

---

Haiku Asian Bistro in Bronxville lets you eat a quality variety of East Asian food in a New York City feel…about the NYC feel, I dunno, sitting by the window, watching the traffic of people walk by, along with cars, through those windows, in that bar type low light setting: make you feel or made me feel like I’m in a restaurant in the city…going on a 2 month diet as I’m hideously obese, so while I miss and crave sesame chicken with fried rice, I hope you enjoy quality food as such…

Speaking of which…my family and me got used to sesame chicken over general Tsos chicken, when craving Chinese…I feel everyone in America, including my New York and Texas based cousins, always order General Tso Chicken over Sesame Chicken…I mean why?! Who started that trend?! Though essentially the same, I prefer and am an advocate of Sesame Chicken.

---

Though I’m obsessed with leaving the AC on all day/everyday because of the cool energizing air and the sound of the breeze type air blow, I recently found that my TaoTronics standing tower fan isn’t a bad alternative. I think I have the TaoTronics desk lamp too. I believe I have their standing tower heater but just didn’t have the motivation or energy to try it out…probably as awesome as the desk light and fan…I’m thinking, from my own experience, TaoTronics, and a lot of Asian made products are good stuff or sourced in great ideas. With some of the products I’ve run into recently, what I’m realizing is this:

China now has some great ideas and products, but sometimes you have to return or exchange those awesome ideas because some things were manufactured differently or as defective. Maybe they don’t have the money for better manufacturing plants…I think people should invest there. I mean they have some great ideas and technology for compression massagers for just about everywhere in your body.

Now proud Americans may not like this, as well as what I’ll say next: with the products I’ve encountered recently, America gives off the feel or notion that everything is manufactured identically and the places where things are manufactured are quality factories…but here’s the part probably not liked: from my searches on Amazon, it would seem America lacks the ideas , or innovation, or imagination, that the Chinese are indicating in their products and technology-I mean check out the head massager helmet from Breo. Helps with falling asleep. It’s from a Chinese manufacturer and looks futuristic and the concept works. My only complaint about it was, I had to go through 4 returns, before getting a helmet that was free of manufacturing defects (i.e. some you couldn’t see thru the helmet, some had a part moving inside when moving the helmet up and down, some overheated on one side of the heated helmet while the opposite side was left cold, etc.). It’s like Doc Browns attitude in Back to the Future. With respect to something not looking like it works, 1950s Doc Brown says “no wonder…it’s made in Japan.” Marty McFly responds, “watiya talking about Doc?!…all the best things are made in Japan.” People may feel like Doc Brown about Chinese products right now, but the hard work and imagination of the Chinese will find themselves in Marty’s way of seeing things. I mean these people, be it Chinese, Korean, all East Asian born Asians, tackle every nook and crannie in their hard work. They need opportunities. Not so sure about the ABC’s or the American born East Asians, but those born in Asia and immigrating here, at least people Ive bumped into (as I’m not gonna generalize), they really give their jobs 110%. (To my fellow ABC’s, by Indian standards, I’m an A-B-C-“D” or American Born Confused Desi, so nothing malicious intended, its just in admiration over our immigrant counterparts. They are the living definitions of the “immigrant work ethic.”). I recently went for a men’s pedicure after seeing Will Smith talk about it on an episode of the fresh prince of bel air. The woman who attended to me was Chinese and I just couldn’t help but notice how much detail and energy she puts into the task. I also once had a Chinese masseuse. I was sore all over and wanted to try the “firm” massage. Ive never experienced so much effort, force, and energy. It makes you want to friend people like that. Pride aside, I think a lot can be learned from their discipline, hard work, imagination, and ideas. 

But a thought…

---

So, in my search for non coffee based sources of energy that last long and don’t make you crash, I found things like “Kion Coffee,” Trader Joe’s “Well Rested Tea” (as it turns out Trader Joe’s sells its own interesting varieties of teas), the $4.99 or $3.99 “Rebbl”brand Plant  Based Energy and/or Protein Drinks, and the $2.99 version of Smart Water Renew. Smart Water Renew is composed of dandelions (yeah, freakin’ dandelions give energy!!!) and lemon flavor. But it is ridiculously expensive for one bottle and isn’t available at Shop Rite. I found it at Wegmans in - I think- Harrison, NY, through the InstaCart app. As dandelions seem to be the key, I typed dandelion in the Amazon app, and realize there is a dandelion tea…I hope it gives the same focus as the Smart Water Renew…I mean the tea you can buy in bulk…why are the healthy coffee alternatives expensive?!-I’m assuming it’s because people don’t know about these things and not enough people buy them…

---

Perhaps u’ve heard, “Why worry about tomorrow, when each day has its own concerns.” It’s said, look how God clothes the flowers of the field-that not even King Solomon, in all his splendor, was dressed so beautifully. Are we not more than flowers?!, as is asked. My grandmother would say, when career concerns were expressed, that if God made a person with a mouth, He will also give every mouth created, food to eat-to elaborate: everyone is provided for. I mean “Seek and you will find.” Put in some effort, however so, at least through a prayer or a hopeful/positive thought. I believe everyone, in life, gets what they need, for all that their respective lives throw at them.

Some people may have more things in appearance, but you may have less because you’re that much innately stronger and don’t require as much. While I’m no one, as a small example, since I was in Kindergarten, I could never sit comfortably with my legs folded. The position in yoga is called sukhasana. As a need grew, when I was older, to sit in that position for yoga and meditation, I feel life led me to find the “Alexia Meditation seat” and the means to buy that expensive seat, enabling me to sit long hours with my legs folded. I feel, if we have some faith and do our part, God or The Universe, will provide for us and take care of our needs/desires through direct means, or indirectly, by giving us the needed mental faculties and abilities to achieve our desires.

---

[amp-age-blog]

Welcome to the ICE age

When the first electric cars started quietly and conveniently moving people from A to B about 130 years ago, who would have imagined that in 2018 we would be grappling with the challenge of having to find an alternative? Generations have become accustomed to driving battery electric vehicles (BEV) but today, as we run out of lithium, we are on the cusp of a dramatic transition with more and more people opting for cars powered by internal combustion engines (ICE).

In this article, I find out from the experts the real facts behind shifting from the AMPage – the era of BEV - to the ICEage – the advent of the internal combustion engine. What does this mean for us as consumers, for society, and for our planet?

Consumer acceptance To understand what the coming ICEage means for consumers, I spoke to Bob Thomson, the smartly-dressed and avuncular Director of Marketing for Anderson-Morrison Motors NZ .

“I have real concerns about consumer acceptance of ICE-age cars,” explains Bob in his office at the Moorhouse Avenue dealership of the global automative giant Anderson & Morrison Motors. “Are people going to want the smell and inconvenience of refuelling with volatile and potentially carcinogenic liquid fuel? We’re told the risk when refuelling is very low but still it’s a concern many people have.”

Bob goes on, “But it gets worse. I had a customer in the showroom last week and she wasn’t the first to ask me about the combustion gases from ICEage cars. I explained that it’s mostly harmless nitrogen, water and carbon dioxide. After all, nitrogen already makes up 78% of the air around us, we all exhale carbon dioxide, and we’re made up of more than 50% water already. But she’d done her homework and she asked me about carbon monoxide, nitrous oxide, hydrocarbons and particulates.”

Bob sighs, shifts in his seat uncomfortably and glances out of the window. “She’d read that these could be bad for your health and asked me where the gases were expelled from the car. ‘It’s fine’, I said, ‘they escape from a pipe at the back of the vehicle so you don’t breathe them in’. ‘What about the people in the car behind you?’ she asked.”

As our brief interview wraps up, Bob explains that after safety concerns, the next issue for customers considering buying an ICEage car is often the vibration. “As a manufacturer, AMM has put a lot of work into dampening the noise and shaking from the explosions and reciprocating metal parts that are an unavoidable part of this new technology. I’m sure that as ICEage cars become more common place people will get used to the unexpected noise at start-up and the cars will get quieter. For instance, in some of the premium models coming onto the market it’s still going to be possible to take a hands-free call while driving – just like you do today in your BEV. The sound proofing technology will trickle down to more budget models in time.”

As I left Bob he was taking a call from the dealership insurers, anxious to discuss the risk to customers and staff of carbon monoxide poisoning in the showroom.

Impact on your wallet To get a different take on the possible implications of consumers moving away from the conventional BEV fleet, I caught up with Sophie Matthews, Professor of Economics at Christchurch University in Canterbury. Sophie explains, “Like most working kiwi families, we budget for the big expense in owning an BEV: battery replacement. Battery degradation is now so well-understood and predictable that most households can budget for replacement years in advance. But we expect to see much more spent on unplanned maintenance of ICEage cars along with a much higher turnover of ICEage car ownership as reliability concerns kick-in once the warranty expires. Overall, our projections suggest that car ownership costs will climb steeply and, for some, this will cause real financial hardship.”

Another potential kicker for consumers is the degradation in efficiency of internal combustion engines over time. “Most new ICEage cars are guaranteed for up to 100,000km but there’s no escaping the fact that from the moment you drive off the car yard the efficiency and performance starts to decline. Today, consumers can easily follow the degradation of their BEV battery by just looking at the dashboard. But it’s much harder to measure efficiency loss in ICEage cars without the expense and complexity of a rolling road test rig. It’s like the boiling frog,” says Sophie, “if you heat the water slowly, the frog doesn’t notice and jump out. With ICEage cars, consumers will be buying more and more fuel and releasing more and more emissions just to travel the same distance but they probably won’t notice.”

Community considerations Sophie, who grew up in central Otago, has been modelling the likely economic impact of the ICEage on rural communities around New Zealand. “There will be winners and losers,” she explains. “Many small towns and settlements in New Zealand have grown up around their BEV charging points. In the early days of BEV, the relatively limited range meant that travellers had to stop and charge up quite frequently. That’s why we have the amazing network of awesome cafes and eateries distributed so evenly around our countryside that we enjoy today. People can - and do - stop just about anywhere to charge up their car and grab a coffee or lunch.”

Sophie’s research assistant hands us both a flat white before Sophie continues. “What many people haven’t realised yet is that you need a heck of a lot more capital to build a refuelling station for an ICEage car – large bunded tanks, pumps, safety gear. Most small communities won’t be able to afford one. Combine that with the fact that ICEage cars will have a longer range from the outset, and it seems highly likely that refuelling points will only be installed in areas of relatively high population density. Given the capital required, I think we’ll see a lot of ICEage refuelling points owned by the multi-national corporations that control the rest of the fuel supply chain and it’s hard to see how small businesses and communities won’t lose out. They’ll be bypassed in economic terms if not in terms of the environmental impacts of ICEage cars.”

Geopolitics in the ICEage We’re joined in Sophie’s sunny office by her colleague Tim Daniels, Professor of Geopolitics, and Jessie, his guide dog. Jessie settles quietly next to Tim as we exchange pleasantries about the weather and the state of the All Blacks squad. “ICEage cars are going to impact massively on global politics,” says Tim. “As the fleet of ICEage cars expands we’ll see exponential growth in demand for petroleum products derived from refining crude oil to fuel and lubricate them. Global reserves of crude oil are concentrated in some of the world’s most politically unstable regions such as the Middle East. Instead of having a transport system based on distributed energy generation, we’re going to become increasingly dependent on a small number of states that can supply global demand. We will see colossal shifts in the distribution of wealth and power.”

Grid anxiety Around the developed world, electricity generation and distribution has evolved in step with BEV. We take for granted the resilience that comes from a power grid that can draw from BEV batteries at times of peak demand and top them up again overnight when demand is lower. I talked to Gridworks Chief Operating Officer Juliet Mackenzie to find out more about the implications of our transport fleet shifting to ICEage vehicles.

With a high speed delivery Juliet explains, “Electricity demand is very spikey through the day and through the year. For decades now the electricity supply companies have offered consumers attractive deals to sell ‘surplus’ charge from EVs back in to the grid for example in the early evening after returning from work. Other people minimise their exposure to peak rate charges by drawing on spare charge in their BEV battery. Either way, we’ve become extremely adept at utilising the megawatts of distributed power sitting in BEV around the country to help smooth out the spikes.”

Juliet pauses and leads me across her office to a map of New Zealand’s proposed grid upgrade. “It may seem counterintuitive that the shift from BEV to ICEage cars is going to put more strain on the grid but that is the case,” says Juliet. “Although total annual demand for electricity will diminish, we’re going to have to invest in generation capacity and distribution infrastructure to manage the spikes. That means more power stations, more pylons and ultimately a less stable grid than we’ve enjoyed in the past. And to make matters worse, to reliably provide power for the spikes we’ll need generation capacity that is independent of weather and can come online rapidly. That means gas-fired power stations.”

The new energy distribution paradigm Over decades we’ve grown used to access to the power for our vehicles being distributed via the electricity grid to charging points at our shops, community centres, cafes and even our homes. With the advent of the ICEage, liquid petroleum products will become a much more siginficant part of the overall energy mix in New Zealand. To find out what this will mean in practice I headed to Hagley Park one frosty Christchurch morning to meet up with Brent Smith, the owner of a new petroleum start-up called Scottish Petrol and a keen early morning jogger. Brent was visiting New Zealand from his base in Inverness, where he has been raising capital for a new type of offshore installation for drilling for crude oil.

“Right now we’re in a wee bit of a chicken-and-egg situation,” says Brent. “No-one wants to invest in drilling technology until the refineries to process the crude oil are in place. The refineries won’t start springing up until the international super-tanker fleet – needed to shift crude from the oil fields to the refineries - has grown. Aye and once that’s all in place, we’ll need to see investment in the retail distribution network. Globally there are one or two countries looking at reticulated systems for distributing refined fuel but in most cases there’ll need to be fleets of road tankers. This is great for the emerging petroleum sector as these vehicles in themselves will create demand for fuel. It’s exciting times laddie.”

With that, Brent promptly stands up, shakes my hand and continues his morning jog around the park.

Climate change Much has been said about the potential impact of the arrival of the internal combustion engine on the planet. We know from use of jet-powered ships and aircraft that the gases produced from burning liquid fossil fuels can lead to increased greenhouse gases in the atmosphere and contribute to global warming. To find out the latest on this hot topic, I tracked down Dr Richard West in his laboratory at the New Zealand Insitute for Climate Science in Wellington.

Richard has been studying climate change for 30 years and has no doubt that burning fossil fuels is a major contributing factor. “We’ve been modelling climate change for decades now and have seen the effect of using fossil fuels in jet-engined planes and boats. If Joseph Etienne Lenoir and Nikolaus Otto had come up with the internal combustion engine before the likes of Robert Anderson and William Morrison got busy making BEV, we might all have been driving ICEage cars for the past 100 years. Thankfully that’s not the case or we’d have gigatonnes more carbon dioxide in the atmosphere than we already do today.”

Given that the world is running out of lithium, what alternatives are there except flipping the fleet to ICE? Richard explains, “People won’t give up their cars so we’re going to have to take this epic gamble that massively increasing use of fossil fuels isn’t going to have the impact that all our climate models say it will.”

Sadly, the impact of this seismic shift in our transport system won’t only effect the global climate system. At a local level, the air that we breathe will diminish in quality with a range of noxious gases and particulates likely to accumulate especially in urban areas. Rachel Goldstein – mother of lively 3 year old twins Erin and Alexi - lives in California, where state incentives for saving lithium by shifting to ICEage cars have been in place now for several years. I caught up with her by phone. “As more and more of my neighbours have ditched their BEV for ICEage cars the place has gotten way more noisy and polluted. From 5am every morning you can hear engines firing up and some days the smog by midday is unbearable.” Rachel tears-up as she goes on, “I don’t want my kids growing up with all these exhaust gases around them but what can you do? The authorities tell us the risks are small but I want to know why we can’t just find some more lithium and hang on to our BEV?”

Other environmental impacts “We’re going to have to dramatically increase exploration for oil deposits if we stand any chance of keeping up with projected demand for petrol.” I’m talking to Mandy Pringle, policy manager at Environment Wellington – a not-for-profit environmental charity. Sipping lattes on the waterfront on a chilly but unusually still Wellington morning, with the sun glinting off Lambton Harbour, it’s hard to grasp the magnitude of the the risks Mandy sees in ICEage cars.

She goes on, “That’s going to mean drilling in increasingly hazardous and environmentally fragile areas. A bit of a double-whammy as the risk of leaks and spills will increase in areas that are particularly poorly placed to cope with them. We’ll see new oil tanker routes opening up through sensitive areas and new coastal oil refineries along with a distribution network that serves a rapidly expanding retail market for fossil fuels. These all pose oil spill risks and we know how deterimental they are to the environment.”

Mandy takes another sip of her latte and adds, “And brake dust. I’m really worried about brake dust. You see, regenerative braking in BEV captures some of the ‘waste’ energy from decelerating and uses it to recharge the battery a bit. This results in less wear on the brakes. ICEage cars don’t do that. Instead, they rely mainly on friction between the brake linings and a rotors and turn the kinetic energy into heat. In the process, the linings and rotors wear down. The dust from worn brake linings can accumulate on the road network until you get a rain event and then it’s washed into the storm water system. Growing evidence points to the harm that the copper often used in brake linings can do to aquatic life. And then there’s the risk of oil leaking from the lubrication system of the ICEage cars and the question of what you do with the waste oil when it’s changed as part of routine servicing.”

Early adopter? To get a first hand experience of this new technology I rented an ICEage car for a week and tried to use it just as I use my BEV. Living in Canterbury and it being winter, the first thing I noticed was not being able to pre-warm the car in the garage. On a couple of particularly frigid mornings I was tempted to ignore the large sticker on the dashboard warning me of the risk of carbon monoxide poisoning. In the end, I just shifted the car out of the garage and let it run on the drive to warm up for a bit.

A must for any ICEage early adopter, I downloaded the PumpIt app so I knew exactly where I could buy petrol. At present there aren’t many filling stations and they’re mostly located on gloomy industrial estates because no-one really wants to live next to a large tank of explosive liquid with cars coming and going 24 hours a day. Compared to plugging in at home it seemed a bit inconvenient having to go out of my way to fill up but the pumps looked very much like a fast charging station. One important difference is that the fuel will flow out regardless of whether the nozzle is ‘plugged in’. I think that, along with the flammability, is why you need to be over 16 years old to refuel.

When I handed the car back at the end of the week and drove away in my BEV I became aware of an annoying interior rattle that I hadn’t heard before. I was reflecting that I wouldn’t be able to hear it in an ICEage vehicle thanks to all the other noise going on when I realised it was the keys for the loan car – I’d forgotten to drop them off. I turned the BEV around, handed over the keys and said to the man behind the rental counter, “When they can make them as convenient and easy to use as an BEV I might consider buying one.”

Afterthought The following sunny Sunday afternoon, accompanied by the quiet hum of my battery-powered lawn mower, I began to wonder whether internal combustion engines would one day be miniaturised and find their way into garden tools like mowers, hedge trimmers and weed eaters. But as my wife pointed out, it seems highly improbable that anyone – least of all the neighbours – would tolerate the noise pollution.

[universalautogarage]

10 Engine Maintenance Tips – Must For A Good Car Care

Checks To Keep Your Engine Fit and Functional 

A motor resembles the core of a car. It needs to run easily to keep your car moving. I can't underscore more on the fact that it is so imperative to keep the motor fit and working proficiently. Here are 10 motor maintenance tips that will help your motor run until the end of time: 

1. Change Motor Oil At Normal Spans 

This is the least you can do. The motor oil keeps all moving parts all around greased up such a huge number and tear is negligible. Likewise, it traps all the residue, earth, and silt, keeping them out of spots they shouldn't be. Check oil levels each month and top up if the level is low. Oil evaluation and change stretches are dependent upon the maker's suggestions. The oil channel is similarly significant as it channels all the garbage from the oil and stops guideline back into the motor. This will guarantee that your motor runs smooth and cool. 

 2. Keep mind the cooling framework 

Despite the fact that we have progressed significantly regarding the effectiveness of a car motor, a great deal of energy is lost during ignition as warmth. Metals and compounds, which your car motor is made out of, are not awesome companions with heat. Continuously guarantee there is sufficient coolant in the tank as it is significant for heat dispersal. A 1:1 proportion of coolant and refined water is ideal. Additionally, it really is ideal to take a gander at the motor temp measure on a hot bright day and shut your car down on the off chance that it's near overheating. 

 3. Allow it to relax 

Winded? Feeling tired? Your car's motor necessities oxygen as much as you. A tightened wind stream can make the fuel not consume totally, thus expanding emanations and lessening mileage. Check the air channel and get it cleaned/changed at whatever point you feel there is an excess of earth and garbage adhered to it. Your motor necessities to inhale appropriately to work well and continue onward. 

 4. Search For Spills 

At the point when you pull out of the carport, stop and take a gander at the parking space for any liquids on the ground. In the event that the fuel is spilling, you should visit the closest repairman and get it checked. You can likewise check in the engine to see or smell something spilling. Motor oil and liquid catalyst are liquids you should pay special mind to while checking for spills. 

 5. Try Not To Continue Going On Save Fuel 

Petroleum contains residue which settles at the lower part of your tank. Long stretches of running and there will be certainly a layer of poop which shouldn't arrive at the motor. Running on low fuel maneuvers this garbage into the fuel siphon which could cause a ton of wear. Rather than simply asking if it doesn't arrive at the motor, top up your tank and save yourself the repair/substitution cost of the fuel channel and siphon. 

 6. Check Your Belts 

Elastic belts are basic connections to keep everything in order when a motor runs. On the off chance that you hear a screech coming from in the engine, the time has come to supplant them. You should check your belts for breaks and indications of wear despite the fact that they keep going quite a while. However, on the off chance that they break while the motor is running, it can cause genuine harm to motor segments, "costly motor parts"! 

 7. Try Not To Disregard The Check Motor Light 

This light is your car's inconspicuous shout for help. Never overlook this and promptly get the car assessed by your nearby technician. We did an article before on what it might mean – Check Engine Light Popping Up? Here Is What It Means. It's fundamentally a self-analysis which is set up to ensure your motor. It's not really genuine without fail but rather you'll never realize except if you get it checked. 

 8. Supplant Your Fuel Channel 

It's like the oil sift yet channels through garbage from the fuel, restricting the section into the ignition chamber. Another channel implies free progression of clean fuel to the fuel siphon and motor. This guarantees there is less development inside the motor and its hunger for fuel is extinguished. 

 9. Supplant Sparkle Fittings And Wires 

The flash attachment goes about as a fire starter. It lights the air-fuel combination in the chambers and requires little maintenance inferable from its long life expectancy. Standard maintenance will guarantee that the motor holds its sparkle. On occasion, they don't require substitution. Some cleaning can be of incredible assistance as a ton of residue gets gathered around the cathode over the long run. 

 10. Your Motor Doesn't Care For Firing Up To Go To A Total End 

Motors are designed to run at steady speed. This is the point at which they play out the best. An excess of variety in the fires up tires it out and this causes significant damage. City driving, where you continually move and grind to a halt is truly hard on the motor. Do whatever it takes not to fire up excessively hard. All things being equal, be certain footed and don't over-quicken when you realize you need to stop once more. Take a stab at adhering to the interstate at whatever point conceivable. This will give you better mileage (presently you realize why driving on the thruway brings about less fuel utilization) and keep that motor running for more. 

These checks should keep your motor solid and save you a ton of cash in repairs/substitution/maintenance. The motor is the most costly and complex piece of your car. It requests great care and will give back by getting a decent resale esteem when you intend to sell your car.

For More Reference:

German Car Repair | Car Painting Workshop | Car AC Repair in Mussafah

[allenmendezsr]

Mi40x

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/mi40x/

Mi40x

 Buy Now

    Hey, what’s up? I’m Ben Pakulski, and I am going to tell you the secret to gaining POUNDS of lean muscle every week. Yeah, I said POUNDS, while stripping off your body fat at the same time….And the WILDEST part of it all?

This secret takes you EXACTLY 4 minutes to do

Today you’ll witness a bizarre new cutting-edge technique used by pro fitness athletes and movie stars to pack on muscle faster than most so-called experts think is possible

I’m not talking about a few pounds of muscle that no one but your grandma will notice

I’m talking about head-spinning, attention-demanding muscle that puts you in a league all your own in the gym. And packing it on in FAR less time than most guys train

PLUS without sacrificing your lifestyle to do it.

Think about it:

Do you really think these skinny actors who all of a sudden look like Greek Gods, or guys like me who make their living by being huge, don’t have a few tricks up their sleeve?…

If you think it’s some magical supplement, 8 hours in the gym (like I’ve heard some guys claim, which is BS), or the right “gear”, if you know what I mean

Think again

Listen: I know guys who do these insanity-bragging workouts and take stuff they give HORSES just to gain a few measly ounces of muscle

Most of them STILL fail to pack it on, because they haven’t got a clue how to REALLY train for maximum mass.

How to trick their bodies into what I call

hyper-recovery

Have a look at the guys I’ve shared this secret with, this represents just a handful of my so-called, “Guinea Lion Group”:

Can’t call them pigs because now they’re all freakin’ ripped!

Your recovery is rocketed through the roof

You spend HALF the time guys currently spend in the gym

MUCH MORE time resting and eating normal food

And you’ll STILL gain MORE muscle and absolutely shred your body fat

LET ME REPEAT…

I’m talking about several POUNDS of lean muscle every week.

And it all happens thanks to a style of training I’ll reveal today.

A protocol that’s a whopping FOUR MINUTES LONG.

One that stimulates the production of a highly unique super recovery muscle helper cell, called satellite cells.

This is just THE muscle-building info you didn’t know about until today.

Look, I know you’re curious, and I’ll explain all of this in a few minutes.

Because it will forever change the way you approach weight training, and even how you think about dieting… FOR GOOD!

I just have to WARN YOU about something, and you have to promise you’ll take this warning seriously before you continue reading!

This website is getting a lot of attention

A certain search engine is trying to get this information BANNED because I’m pissing off a lot of really HUGE supplement companies and magazines.

These guys have billions of dollars, plenty of cash to sue my ass, and there’s no way I’m going to be able to keep this website live much longer if this pressure continues

I’ll be forced to either take it down, or charge $97 a head to attend a “webinar” and read the same exact letter you are reading right now for free

So, you best be sure you do just that:

– Read this now, while it’s still on the Internet

– Listen, if you have been told there “is no secret” to building muscle, or that you can only build muscle “slowly”

– Or, worse than that, you can gain muscle, but you’ll pack on some fat while doing it

You’ve been LIED TO

…And today, I’ll prove it to you

Oh, I’ve seen it all

I’m a pro bodybuilder, so you can only imagine what I’ve seen guys do out of desperation and greed over precious muscle

I’ve seen guys train for 7 straight hours

I’ve seen dudes take outrageous amounts of illegal gear, enough to kill them if they keep it up

And I’ve seen thousands of guys like you:

Good guys who are just wanting to add 10, 20, maybe even 30 pounds of rock-hard muscle in just the right places

A bigger chest, better arms, cut abs, and delts that look so killer, it looks like you’d have to turn sideways to get through a door

And let’s be honest:

You want more attention? (hey, it’s normal)

Attention from women? (sure, it’s gonna happen)

Jealous friends in the gym? (bound to happen too)

And with that attention comes respect, confidence, and the POWER to really move through life like an Alpha animal

Taking charge, making it happen, and forging a life out of iron… one that YOU control, not that controls YOU!

However, here’s what I’ve NEVER SEEN:

In over 15 years of training, I’ve never seen anything come close to this almost ALIEN method of gaining muscle

You’ll end up the strongest guy in the gym, even though this isn’t about “lifting heavy”

You’ll end up totally lean with that beach-ready body you want because this method of training automatically burns body fat

More body fat than you can ever burn off by starving yourself

And, it’s FAST:

How fast? 200% faster than traditional weight training! We’re talking about you adding POUNDS of lean muscle every week. Not every month, every week

That’s 10 pounds in less than 5 weeks, 20 pounds in less than 10 weeks… As much muscle as you desire!

And here’s the really, REALLY incredible part:

Guess what’s feeding all that new muscle on your body?

Your unwanted, unwelcome, downright UGLY body fat

This one technique, revealed in detail within this free presentation, gives you more muscle mass faster, and it WORKS by using your own body fat for fuel…

That’s right: you get bigger and leaner at the SAME TIME!

And that’s what you really want

Getting LEANER as you get BIGGER makes everything look and feel HARDER

Just like these guys have done, and literally hundreds of other guys I shared this one stealth technique with over the past several months

And let me save you some time:

You’ll never hear about this in a magazine, because I’ve made 100% sure EVERYONE I shared it with kept their mouths shut about it

And, for good reason:

This unusual method of training was just reviewed and studied by a major university, and I didn’t want anyone talking about their insane results until after this training protocol was proven to work scientifically

So, while all these guys changed their body within WEEKS instead of months or years, without taking illegal gear of any kind, and without even giving up the foods they enjoy eating or having a few beers with their buds

I wasn’t ready to tell the world about this muscle revolution until I had the science to back it up

Now, I’m ready, and I guarantee YOU better be ready to buy some new shirts, because after today you’ll need ’em, unless you like the Hulk look and don’t mind ripped-out sleeves, or just wearing tank tops everywhere

You must be ready for a load of questions from strangers, like, “How big ARE your arms, man?” and, “I bet you can bench press a freakin’ HOUSE, right?”

And yeah, you’ll have so many guys asking you HOW you got the body you’re about to have, you can start charging hard cash to give them the answers, and they’ll pay you

Trust me, I know

Ready for the secret?

Pay attention, because this is the only place you’ll ever hear about it, and that’s because I’m the guy who invented it, and who put it to the test in university studies

It all starts HERE:

Each of these balloons represents one of your muscle cells.

Get these cells bigger, and YOU get bigger, and I bet you know that already

Now, here’s what you may have never heard before:

You build muscle WHILE RESTING, not while at the gym

Your mission in the gym is SO SIMPLE:

Stimulate your muscles into growth… Period! End of story.

Stimulate, then go home and eat, that’s what you do

You don’t just, “lift weights”

Come on man, you KNOW for a fact that isn’t working for you

It’s the way you lift during your last 4 minutes of an exercise that makes ALL the difference

These 4 minutes create 200% more muscle gains… FACT, not theory, and these 4 minutes are the difference between looking average

And looking awesome!

Want proof?

Click the image to see the science.

So, how does this weird 4-minute trick work?

First, it takes every cell in your muscle fibers. And, just like a balloon..

EXPANDS THEM.

Normal training tears down muscle fibers and forces your body to go into crisis mode, trying like hell to repair it before your next workout

However, you can expand a cell without experiencing this recovery crisis

In fact, that’s exactly what my patented, university-proven system is called:

Cell Expansion Protocol Training, or CEP Training for short

It’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced, and it takes a whopping four minutes per exercise to automatically trigger the CEP Response

So, rather than ripping your fibers to shreds, you selectively stimulate

You use the 4-minute CEP Training Principle to force every cell in every muscle into hyper-recovery mode

Think about it:

Take a balloon…

If you were to train the old-fashioned way, this balloon would swell up temporarily.

That’s the pump we all love, right?

And as you know, that pump goes away

Now, imagine if your pump never went away?

What if you were given the key to “tricking” your muscles cells into expanding and expanding

And your cells recovered so quickly, it looks as if you have a CONSTANT PUMP?

How would that feel? Orgasmic, that’s how

I’m going to demonstrate on video CEP Training for Biceps today

So by the time this presentation ends, you’ll at least be able to get started using CEP with your biceps

So keep watching, unless you enjoy having skinny arms

Now, there’s a reason why this happens with CEP Training, and not with any other form of muscle-building training

And why it cuts everyone’s gym time nearly IN HALF at the same time

It goes back to what I mentioned to you before: Satellite cells

We’ve proven that stimulation of muscle tissue using CEP Training dramatically increases satellite cell production

Satellite cells are cells made by your body to help repair muscle damage

So, just think about it for a second:

If you stimulate your muscles using CEP, And CEP produces FAR MORE satellite cells than traditional training

That means you recover much faster

And faster recovery means faster muscle growth, because a muscle ONLY grows during recovery

Getting the really big picture now?

Less time in the gym

Plus 4 minutes of CEP Training at the end of a movement

And you get a load more of your body’s most powerful muscle-building recovery cells speeding to your aching body parts

Blasting your recovery through the roof

And expanding the size and volume of each muscle cell

Expanded Cells means MASS

As much as you want

10 pounds, 15 pounds, 25 pounds, hell, 100 pounds if you want

It’s all the same training, the only difference is the amount of food you eat

The BEST part of it all is that CEP Training creates the muscle you desire automatically

Your body is literally FORCED to expand its muscles cells in response to CEP Training

You give it no choice

And your body gets the fuel it needs to expand your cells from your stored body fat

Sure, if you eat 7 pizzas a day, it will use that for fuel

Yet, if you’re eating half-way normally, your body fat will be ROBBED to pay the energy price of all that satellite cell production and cell expansion

And that gives YOU the body you want

By now, you’re wanting to get started using CEP as soon as possible

And the question you have is HOW:

How do you get started? What do you do first?

Here’s your choice

You can keep reading, and you’ll see me demonstrate CEP Training for biceps

And then you can try to figure the rest out on your own

Good luck with that, because you’ll need it

CEP Training is extremely specific to each body part

What works for biceps definitely will NOT work for chest, for example

Hey, you can TRY

Or, you can man-up, admit that you want a Mr. Olympia-caliber bodybuilder to personally COACH YOU

Radically decreasing the time it will take for you to walk down the beach with a body other guys would kill for

Or hang by the pool in the skimpy bikini-clad hottie section and let the women fight over who got your attention first!

Or, just look the way you’ve always wanted to look when you go out on the town

Whatever you want, this is the fastest track to give it to you:

I call it The MI40 CEP Training Program.

The MI40 CEP Rapid Start Action Plan

This video is literally 5 minutes – it takes me only 5 MINUTES to get you started using CEP in your very first workout

So, if you’re like me and you’re in a hurry, this video alone is worth its weight in gold

And, if you’re like a lot of guys I coach, guys who want every little detail spelled out so they couldn’t mess it up if they tried

Then here’s what else I have for you today:

CEP Practical Application Guide

Not only will you want to KNOW the secrets, you’ll want to know HOW to apply them so you can start TRANSFORMING your body NOW! Not tomorrow, TODAY!

This guide will show you how to bring theory to the REAL WORLD in meathead English that even the most hardcore numbskull can understand and start getting their BEST RESULTS EVER.

This guide is gold

Nutrition Guide

Good results start with good nutrition… AMAZING results start with CEP-style Nutrition!

Ever wonder what’s best to eat and when? Ever confused after reading bullshit article after bullshit article? Do you ever think what really is the best approach to achieving your dream physique?

Solution… the MI40-X Nutrition Guide!

The cutting-edge principles laid out here will provide the building blocks for your INSANE transformation… a complicated topic with complicated tactics made STUPID SIMPLE…

This guide will be your go-to resource from here on out, something you can refer to again and again..

God results start with good nutrition… AMAZING results start with CEP-style Nutrition!

Supplement Guide

With a billion dollar industry breathing down your neck 24/7, it’s hard to separate fact from fiction… and with so many supplements out there, who’s got time to do the research?

Well, BPak’s got your back! 😉

This guide not only tells you THE best supplements, it tells you WHEN to take them in a WHOLE RANGE of different situations….

Not sleeping well? …I’ve got a protocol for that!

Feel like you want to be able to push harder in the gym? …covered!

On a budget? …I’ll lay out just the essentials so you can work with what you have!

I’ll even tell you where to buy all this stuff easily and quickly so you can get reputable products, PROVEN to work, to help you start GAINING muscle and DROPPING that ugly belly fat FAST!

FAQ Guide

All your questions answered… all the info you need so you can spend your time making progress, not online searching for clues!

I’ve taken the most common questions from those testing the program and broken them down in detail.. you’ll be quickly on the FAST-TRACK to a SHIRT-RIPPING chest and perfectly cut ABS!

A Guide you can quickly reference at any time, so you can spend more time DOING and less time sitting around trying to figure it out.

Workout Sheets

The most intelligent muscle-building workouts EVER designed, ready to print and take with you to the gym.

No matter your starting point, I’ve got a workout for you!

3 levels of workouts that will kick your butt… but leave you wanting more!

Think you’re advanced and can handle anything thrown your way? Well Mr. Awesome, give the Pro workouts a whirl and I GUARANTEE you’ll be coming back to me with your tail between your legs!

Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

These are THE workouts you NEED to surpass anything you’ve ever done in the gym, and cause GROWTH that transforms your body in 6 short weeks! Time to take things to the next level!

7 Day Primer Phase

To get the best out of MI40-X… form is key!

A world class program such as MI40-X requires world class attention to detail to get the most out of it! To make sure you possess THE most OPTIMAL form… that you are on the road to having a world-class MIND-MUSCLE connection just like the elite-level pros… you MUST run through this program!

Years of poor lifting combined with an extreme program are a recipe for disaster! This program, in combination with the training videos and execution guide, will provide IDEAL preparation for MI40-X… after this, you’ll be ready to hit the ground running and soon making the GAINS of your life!

….this guide is a learning curve for many, but an ideal primer for ALL!

7 Day Detox Diet

A no-brainer as to what this is right?

…well, it’s better!

This guide not only tells you what to eat and when to eat it… but the diet is specifically designed to prepare your body to MAXIMALLY use EVERY oz of nutrition and supplementation you give it as you run through the MI40-X program!

If your body isn’t efficiently using what it gets, then do you expect your results to be optimal? Of course not! The chances are high that what you’re eating now has left your body in a poor state to jump right into MI40-X… you’ll be wanting AMAZING results, not ‘okay’ results. To make sure that happens… enter, the 7-Day Detox Diet! A perfect companion to the Primer Phase!

I recommend you run this program for up to 3 weeks before jumping into MI40-X… but even if you’re just too excited and just can’t wait that long to begin the program, even a week on this diet will have you well on the way to achieving results you didn’t think possible!

This diet is a great addition to your nutrition arsenal away from the MI40-X program too – you can use it for one week out of every month to optimize your health, and to increase the chances of success on any other program you may decide to engage in in the future.

The Exercise Execution Guide

Every body part, every exercise, every freakin’ detail spelled out for you so there’s absolutely zero guesswork needed on your part.

You’ll always know EXACTLY what to do, and precisely how to do it.

The Execution Guide is your exercise bible for recreating your physique from head to toe using super-simple, common sense, no BS-style instruction that has only one goal in mind:

Your most muscular, ripped, and perfect body!

The CEP Training Blueprint

Inside, you’ll discover the methods of training you absolutely MUST AVOID if you want to actually LOOK like you lift.

Face it, most guys who train look like they play soccer or something…

You want to look like a dude with MUSCLE!

So, turn to page 6 as soon as you get the Blueprint in your hands to discover all the messed-up training methods that the magazines and idiot gym rats have tried to pass off as fact.

Trust me, I guarantee you are using some, if not ALL of these waste-of-time methods, and they do far worse than waste your time:

They are keeping you from the body you want!

They literally HALT muscle growth and PROMOTE more fat storage!

You’ll also discover the reason why I insist you enjoy your food…

Even as CEP Training is stripping all that unwanted fat off your body, you’ll be laughing in the faces of guys doing hours of cardio, HOPING they’ll see an ab one day, if they’re lucky!

With CEP, you don’t NEED CARDIO.

And you don’t need to overdo it on the diet…

Listen: I know you enjoy a few beers with your friends, and that you have better things to do than eat all damn day!

That’s why I made the CEP Training nutrition guidelines so dead simple.

Now, that’s not all you’ll be receiving today:

I also want you to have private access to my

MI40 CEP Training Video Library

I’ll be your personal trainer on every exercise, so you can be 100% confident you’re doing the CEP training to get all the benefits!

Yet, the Library offers you a lot more than that:

I break every CEP Training exercise down into 3 phases, just in case you’re just starting out, or you’re fairly experienced, or perhaps you’re a fitness pro… doesn’t matter:

Everyone, from newbie natural to pro athlete is covered in these 3 phases!

Plus, each video focuses on ONE body part, so you can pick and choose which body parts you most want to focus on.

Some guys want bigger arms right away, so you can start there…

Or maybe it’s your legs

Your chest

Your back

You font-18px text-bold opensans it, it’s covered in the CEP Training Video Library

Hey, I’m not finished yet! You’ll also receive your copy of

The MI40-Xtreme Total Training Videos.

And here’s why you need this:

CEP Training cannot be done for every exercise

Only specific exercises use CEP Training

And, if you try it on the WRONG exercise, watch out

You’ll end up getting nowhere, or worse.

That’s why you need the ENTIRE SET of my training videos, to make SURE you use only the CEP-Approved Movements

AND to guarantee you stay super-motivated for as long as you need to get that body you desire

These videos contain a TON of tips that only pros know to get the most out of every second you spend in the gym

So you can spend LESS time, and get the hell out and go enjoy your life

Knowing you’ve done just the right amount of ass-kicking work to stimulate those cells to expand.

Now, you may believe that a program this unique is pretty damn expensive

With all the time and money I’ve invested into it — almost three years of research, testing, paying lab geeks to prove the theory to be fact — not to mention the decades of training and learning I’ve done to bring it all together in my own body…

So, when I initially set the price for the entire MI40 CEP Training System at $197, my girlfriend Amanda almost kicked me out of bed… literally!

“Ben, if you sell your system you’ve worked so hard on for less than you charge for a single hour of consulting, I’m not sleeping with you for a MONTH!”

Yeah, she’s hard-core

I did what any other guy would do

I lied.

She thinks I’m selling the MI40 CEP Training System for $397

And that would be a steal

Yet, I’m not

At least not yet

I made myself a deal:

I said, “Ben, even though you decided to release this to the world, you have to keep it stealth”

Otherwise, MY competition will just get tougher

And, to be honest, since I treat every MI40 CEP Member like a kid brother, I just don’t have the time or energy to spend by letting a million guys into the mix

So, once I hit a very modest goal in sales, I’m going to charge $397 for the System

If you’re reading this presentation, that means I’m close to that goal

Very, very close

So, here’s your No BS, Limited-Time, Save Ben From Lonely Nights Of Living Hell Offer:

I’m going to give it all to you today, immediate access to everything, no shipping. I’ll set you up with digital, start-today access:

The entire MI40 CEP Training System

The CEP Rapid Start Training Video, 5 short minutes to get you in the gym and growing faster than ever

Exercise Execution Guide, every exercise, every step, laid out with idiot-proof instructions even my moronic ex-training partner could easily understand

The CEP Training Video Library, every CEP-friendly exercise visually demonstrated by me, including instructions for beginners, intermediate muscleheads, and advanced athletes.

And The CEP Total Training Library, so you see EVERY exercise you will EVER NEED to build the body you desire.

The CEP Blueprint…all the science explained… in a manner so simple you don’t need a PHD to understand it!

The CEP Practical Application Guide…how to apply the CEP principles for UNSTOPPABLE gains!

The CEP Nutrition Guide…cutting-edge nutrition guidelines for MAXIMUM results… for LIFE!

The CEP Supplement Guide…a comprehensive guide to THE best supplements… what you should be taking to OPTIMIZE your training AND your RESULTS!

The CEP FAQ Guide…the most frequently asked questions, covered in-depth… so, less guessing, more GROWING!

3 Levels of CEP Workouts…from natural newbie, to pro athlete, every angle covered…and warning, “Pro” means Pro! 😉

The 7 Day Primer Phase…a short program, intelligently designed, to prepare you for MAXIMUM results during MI40 CEP!

The 7 Day Detox Diet…you’re gonna need to utilize your calories as best you can during MI40 CEP.. this handy little short term diet will have your body ready to CRUSH IT when the time comes!!

All of this

For just 1 pathetically small investment of only $97.

You read that right

Not 3 payments of $97

Not 2 payments of $97

Only 1 payment of just $97

Listen, I’m going to put that into crystal clear perspective for you:

You’d spend that much or more on a one session with a pathetic gym trainer

Some dude that thinks because he has a certificate that took him a week to earn, he knows how the hell to train YOU

What a joke

Most so-called “trainers” piss me off because they haven’t got a CLUE how to help the average guy build crazy muscle insanely fast

Hey, if you carelessly decide to try one of these (cough, laugh) “trainers” make damn sure he’s CEP Certified

And he won’t be, only my guys are, and they’ll charge you about $200 minimum to consult with you, and well over two grand a month to actually train you

Sure, there are rich guys that pay us that kind of cash, I’m just offering you a rare opportunity to get the same exact value for a fraction of the cost!

And listen:

You’re going to WASTE far more money than $97 over the next 30 days, simply from eating the wrong foods and taking BS mass-produced commercial supplements that you actually just piss down the toilet

Worst of all, you’ll be wasting TIME, which is the most valuable thing in the universe

Or, get SMART:

Take the fast track

The done-for-you path

And allow me to hand you the MI40 CEP Training System personally in a matter of seconds from now

Just click the button below:

Click that button, and the keys to more eye-catching, jaw-dropping muscle in less than HALF the time will be handed to you today

Muscle that is created using your BODY FAT for fuel

So you get bigger and more ripped at the same time

And, you do it all with a 4-minute CEP Training Protocol

More muscle and less fat in literally DAYS from now. Not months, DAYS!

For what you probably spend on two months worth of protein powder, you can get a plan to actually get the body you always wanted…

[ridingirlsblog]

Photoshoot of the Week: January 20th-26th 2019 - Ducati Supersport & Jana

Big thrills come with big risks sometimes. That's certainly true of riding a motorcycle, whether you're the driver or a passenger. Good motorcycle gear helps protect you from sun, rain, wind, noise, and debris, as well as pavement. It’s designed for more than just crash protection: it’s your second skin and protects you from sunburn, deafness from the wind, and anything that is flying through the air. Crash protection is the biggest benefit, however, and those of us who have come into contact with the pavement and have been saved by our gear will tell you: it is better to have it and not need it. The human body does not do well when it encounters a sudden stop from speed: the road surface is a really big belt sander. Good gear is designed for abrasion resistance and is armored against impacts at your joints. Staying off that belt sander isn’t always an option, so good protection is the right way to go. So forget those riders you see cruising down the highway in shorts and pants, unless you're talking about the beautiful Slovak bikergirl living in Germany and fast 'n' sexy socialite Jana the Moto Queen : if you're so beautiful (and highly skilled), you're allowed to take a risk once in a while (omg, look at her videos!! 😲). And we definetely will thank her because of that! But you guys don't try this at home (I mean, in the highway): even a skilled driver riding a safe bike on a dry day can crash. When that happens, the right protective gear can mean the difference between walking away and getting seriously hurt. Be careful kids! *** *** *** *** Ahead of EICMA 2019, to be held at the Milano-Rho Trade Fair Centre (Fiera) from 7 to 10 November, Ducati has unveiled the greatest and latest bikes and Ebikes for 2020. A complete, updated range, ready to set new standards in style, performance and technology. Among the many new features, 2020 Ducati SuperSport S was overshadowed by the new Ducati Monster model. As you know, sport bike sales have dropped as sales of mid-range naked bikes have risen. That's a problem for a company like Ducati, and while its Scrambler line has been hugely successful in expanding its customer base, what about those of us who like the looks of the Panigales and such but want something well suited for weekend sport rides and daily commuting? Ducati SuperSport S is a sport bike that makes sense for the way most of us performance-minded riders ride in the real world, but unfortunately this bike sells less and less, only XDiavel does worse. Here in Italy it is out of the Top 100 of the best-selling motorcycles. I thought the SuperSport was a little "understood" bike in the Italian market but the numbers are low even in the global market. Will the 2020 version be able to turn the tide? Surely Ducati took the steps to succeed. The new 2020 motorcycle , manufactured in Manaus (AM), is positioned as an entry model of the New Model Ducati sports line. It maintains the sporty DNA of the brand, but as a differential has the style of piloting more “meek” and comfortable. In terms of equipment, the new SuperSport S takes things to another level: even more sport, even more design and more technology to accentuate the sportiest side of the SuperSport. As standard: Ducati Quick Shift up/down, passenger seat cover, 48 mm Öhlins fork with TiN coated inner tubes and a single-shock with integrated gas tank, both fully adjustable.The lines of the SuperSport create dynamic shapes, visually compact and light. The design, sporty and elegant, integrates elements typical of Ducati sports bikes such as the single-sided swingarm, sculpted tank and compact lateral silencer with two overlapping exits, which leaves the rear wheel, with its “Y” spoke design, fully visible. The New Model Ducati Supersport S comes equipped with a 937 cc two-cylinder engine with 113 hp and 9.8 kgfm, operated by a six-speed gearbox. In addition, features a “quick shift”, which allows gear changes without using the clutch. The Supersport S is a very well put together motorcycle, which has the fun factor and manageability of an SV650S - without the cheap build quality. The spread of power from the 932cc L twin is ideal for UK roads, it’s the kind of power that isn’t intimidating, but still gets the heart pumping. And with the great motor comes awesome almost Hypermotard like handling. This bike is mega responsive and can be aggressively handled, but thanks to the Ducati Safety pack, it doesn’t get out of shape or tail happy. Another nice touch is the amount of useful information available on the LCD dash, such as: fuel consumption; fuel gauge; remaining mileage and a whole host of other useful stuff. Features like this make the bike a practical daily commuter. Summing it up: if you are looking for something practical, fun and uncomplicated, the Ducati Supersport S is sure the right bike for you. #bikergirl #SuperSportS #supersport #ducatiobsession #ducatilife #motorcycle #ducatista #ducatinsta #superbikes #ducativ4 #ducatiSuperSportS #ducatiSuperSport #ridefast #bikeracing #motosports #motolife #fastbikes #RidinGirlsBlog #racing #motorbike #bikelife #bikersofinstagram #bikerfamily #v4 #riderich #girlsonbikes #agv #sportbike #sexybiker #bikerchick #bikerlady #desmo #speed #roadracing #ridingsexy #superbike #motard #ducaticorse #motorrad #ducati #motogp #moto #helmetporn #ducatimonster #ducatiracing #SuperSport939

  What are you dreaming about Jana? Visualizza questo post su Instagram Ich schnarche nicht, ich träume ich bin ein Motorrad I don't snore I dream I am a motorcycle Und wovon träumt ihr so? SWIPE LEFT ⬅️ . . . . . #sleeping#beautifulgirl#sexy#ducati #selflove#sexypic #selfcare #curves #cute #lookoftheday #loveyourself #pose#fitgirl #fitness #underwear #fitfreak  #fitness #fitnessgirl #girlspower #bikeporn #ducatirider #bikergirl #bikerchick #sportbike #sportbikes #ridingsexy #girlsonbikes #girlonbike #bikerlife #bikelove#bikersfamily Un post condiviso da motoqueen2018 BW (@motoqueen2018) in data: 9 Gen 2020 alle ore 10:58 PST Read the full article

[decandnicoletraveladventure-blog]

Weeks 3-5

The last couple of weeks took a bit of a turn for us, but I’ll start from where we last left off and go from there. After writing my last blog entry, we stayed at Daintree National park for two nights, and then headed off north with Cape Tribulation as our end goal. The journey took us on a car-ferry across a river, and up some ridiculously windy, vertical steep roads up the mountainous terrain.  It was whilst there, driving up these insane vertical bends in first and second gear, engine revving to the max, that we suddenly realised we had No. Fuel. Whatsoever...

How could we be so stupid, you ask? Well, rest assured, we asked ourselves the same question. Personally, I blame our very questionable fuel gage, which stays on the same point for miles on end, before suddenly dropping by half a tank. Although it is possible that it could also have something to do with our combined air-headedness though…

Nevertheless, with little other choice, we ploughed onwards in the desperate hope of coming across a gas station while Sherman still could. As it happened, the gods took pity on us. After a hair-raising journey coasting the entire way down the vertical winding decline that, unsurprisingly,  followed the crazy vertical winding incline (would not advocate this driving style), we finally came across the blessing we were looking for, and pumped our tank full. By this point, Declan’s chair was soaked in sweat, and I think it’s safe to say we had definitely learnt an important lesson. Now, we vow never to let our questionable petrol gauge drop below the half way mark again. And, the whole palaver had a positive note too, in the form of this spectacular view…

Anyway, we continued onwards exploring the beautiful tropics of the North East. Cow Bay was our first stop, and probably my favourite; A gorgeous white sand beach with not a soul in sight, bordered by some brilliant rock-pools with wildlife that kept us entertained for several hours – sea cucumbers, hermit crabs, giant blue mud crabs, luminous blue fish, and even a couple of lizards. Although the ever-present threat of potential crocodiles lurking certainly made us wary!

From there, we went on to the highly-recommended Fruit Farm Ice Creamery. The concept was rather a novel one; Based on a large plot of land, they grow all sorts of exotic fruits themselves, importing nothing and harvesting those in season to make unique ice creams. Four flavours are served each day, based on what is currently harvestable, and you pay $7.50 per person to receive a large pot with a big scoop of each flavour. Dec and I were unanimous in our enjoyment of three of the four flavours. Unfortunately, one tasted like vomit - definitely would not recommend Yellow Sapote fruit – but the experience was really cool, and we had a great time exploring the fruit farm too.

From there, we stopped off for the night, unsuccessfully went on a hunt to see Cassowaries in the morning, and then continued up to Cape Trib. Here comes our second ditzy moment, wherein we actually drove past Cape Tribulation altogether, after unknowingly stopping RIGHT NEXT TO THE CAPE TRIB SIGN to check our maps for directions. A real ‘face-palm’ moment. Anyway, we made it to Cape Tribulation, which rather mirrored Cow Bay but was significantly busier. We stayed in the area for a couple of days – again, seeing some crazy wildlife, including a giant Golden Orb Spider and a monstrous Monitor Lizard – and booked ourselves onto the Great Barrier Reef’s  ‘Ocean Safari’; A 25 minute boat ride out to a sand bank and its surrounding coral reefs, where we spent 2 hours snorkelling. We swam with Sea Turtles, saw Giant Clams the size of a 5 year old child, luminous rainbow Parrot Fish, and so much more. It was totally incredible, and Dec especially was pretty elated (although sad not to have seen a Reef Shark).

Unfortunately, things took a slight turn from there.  I’ve been struggling with some complications of the surgery I had 3 months ago, and was in a whole lot of pain after coming back from snorkelling. We made the decision to drive back to Cairns that day and stay at the lovely Castaways Hostel again whilst we went to different doctors and figured out the best route to take to sort me out. We made some progress (many thanks to all the friends and family who got the ball rolling with their contacts!) and stayed there a week before continuing on with our travels. Our next stop was Port Douglas, where we were accompanied by our French friend Ben for a couple of days’ fishing. 

It was a brilliant couple of days. The beautiful scenery from Port Douglas’ Jetty made for an exceptionally picturesque fishing trip. The highlight, however, came from the fishing itself. Along with a Barracuda, a Stingray and Moray Eel, Declan and Ben between them managed to hook 4 sharks. BIG sharks, each reaching six to eight feet in length.  Naturally, this drew in quite a lot of spectators. None compared, however, to the absolute quality New Zealand lad who came out of nowhere in a tiny little boat and, in true Aussie fashion, shouted up to Dec “Oi mate, hop in! Let’s catch the c*nt!” !!!

Picture the disbelief of Ben and me at the scene: Declan, hobbling over metal chains and down the rickety stairs of the Jetty to the water’s edge, clambering onto this tiny boat with some dreadlocked, topless man, all the while trying to keep his line tight, then speeding off across the water (nearly falling off the boat in the process) after this huge shark. Unfortunately, after about 25 minutes of knackering work for Dec, the line snapped whilst they were trying to bring the shark onto the boat. The experience, though, is one that none of us will forget in a hurry, and left us laughing for the rest of the day. I actually managed to catch the whole ordeal on camera, which we’ll upload soon, and Dec was totally chuffed to not only have been able to see these awesome sharks up close, but  to have caught footage of them too.

After a great couple of days at Port Douglas, Ben returned back to Cairns and we continued on inland to go exploring the Tablelands. We are currently at Downfall creek campsite in Danbulla National Park, with plans for the next week to go to the Lava Tubes, natural hot springs, several waterfalls, and whatever else we may come across. Although it’s currently rather wet and miserable, it is fortunately much cooler inland than on the coast, particularly at night, which means spending the day snuggled up in the campervan isn’t awful and stuffy. It’s rather nice in fact – we’ve some sandalwood incense burning, some relaxing music playing, and we’re both sitting in bed doing some writing whilst the rain patters gently on the windows. It does, however, make us both feel a little homesick. Staying at a national park where there is no phone service and very few other people, as opposed to at a hostel surrounded by friendly faces, suddenly feels rather lonely, creating a sombre element to our travels. It certainly makes us feel ready to meet more people and crack on to the next fun activity.

Until then, stay tuned.

Nicole & Dec

P.S Lots of love and hugs to all our family and friends – we’re thinking of you all lots! And special thanks to Mike for helping sort the camper’s dodgy solar power. Really hoping you’re okay. We’re both sending you big hugs.

Danbulla National Park, 17.10.2017

[xeford2020]

Education is a Critical Missing Piece to the Electric Vehicle Puzzle; Here’s How Ford is Going to…

Education is a Critical Missing Piece to the Electric Vehicle Puzzle; Here’s How Ford is Going to Help Solve It

By Ted Cannis, Global Director, Electrification, Ford Motor Company

A prototype Ford electric vehicle testing in frigid, snowy conditions.

As the head of electrification for Ford, the questions I get from family, friends and colleagues about electric vehicles run the gamut. “Are electric vehicles fast?” “Do they work in winter?” “Can I really give up visiting the gas station?” “Are they capable enough to help me do my job?”

The answer to all of the above — at least with Ford’s new lineup of electric vehicles — is yes. But there remains a gap between what an electric vehicle can do and what customers believe they can do.

This perception gap was evident as recently as a few weeks ago, when we made headlines by demonstrating that our all-electric F-150 prototype could tow more than 1 million pounds. Many were shocked — positively — about just how capable an electric vehicle can be.

Helping to de-bunk the widespread misconception among truck customers that an electric pickup truck can’t be as capable as gas-powered trucks is a small but an important step. Now, we are out to de-bunk other electric vehicle misconceptions just as we did with the F-150 demonstration: by showing — not just telling — so that potential customers can feel confident should they choose an electric vehicle in the future.

These myths come straight from the mouths of consumers via an independent global survey across Europe, China, and the U.S.

More than 90 percent of Americans and Europeans don’t believe quick acceleration is a great benefit of electric vehicles.

So where did this impression come from? Simple: A lot of companies, ourselves included, focused their initial electrification efforts on adhering to regulatory requirements. The cost of batteries was high, the price of developing new vehicle platforms was higher, and the necessary charging infrastructure to make it easy on customers simply didn’t exist. But that’s all changing fast.

Ford engineers test an electric vehicle prototype inside a performance simulator.

So can we make an amazing, fun-to-drive thrilling electric vehicle? Trust me: We can.

As the company behind the Mustang, the Ford GT and off-road behemoths like the F-150 and Raptor, we have the best teams tuning vehicles for performance, handling, and off-road capability. It is those same teams that are now leveraging the full use of electrification to make vehicles that will be awesome to drive.

It starts with showcasing the benefits of the electric propulsion system, including the decision to take advantage of the benefits of “instant torque” — a fancy term that means electric vehicles can accelerate like hell if you want. But that’s just the start. We’re investing in an electric vehicle platform with right system power, motors, suspension, and tuning to get something really special that people would love to have.

To get a sneak peek at how we’re bringing some thrill to our electric vehicles, check out our engineers rocking the 3D simulator environment (think: the ultimate gaming setup) and doing hot laps at the race track. This is the same simulator that helps make our Ford Performance vehicles faster and allows us to recreate the driving conditions of real-life test circuits and race courses.

We’re out to prove just how exciting these cars can be.

Forty-two percent of Americans think electric vehicles still require gas to run.

It’s a question we get all the time. Early on when I started in this position, my family asked me this same question.

Nope, no gas. The truth is that when you drive an electric vehicle, you may never have to stop at a gas station again (except if you want beef jerky). In research clinics, I sat down with many electric vehicle owners in diverse places like California, China and Germany. You learn one thing very quickly: Among most owners, all their charging is done from the convenience of their home. Many have never visited a public charging station at all.

Similarly, surveys of U.S. battery electric vehicle owners show that 80 percent of charging occurs at home, followed by charging at work. For owners of gas or hybrid vehicles, we know it’s hard to break the habit of going to a gas station once or twice a week — most of us have been doing it without hesitation for decades. But how would you feel about never going to a gas station again?

For many electric owners you can do all your charging in the convenience, safety, and privacy of your own home. No more wading through slush and salt to fill up when temperatures drop below zero. No more standing outside boiling in the summer. No more wondering if you are going to smell like fuel. You get the picture. And it’s just about as easy as charging any other electronic device at home: plug it in and go about the rest of your day.

Electric vehicles operate entirely on electricity that is stored inside state-of-the-art rechargeable batteries. These batteries power electric motors that propel the car forward. No gasoline or diesel fuels required — electric vehicles don’t even have or need tailpipes. So unless you’re really craving your favorite snack, you can kiss those weekly gas station runs goodbye.

Close to 80 percent of Americans would not pick an electric vehicle for extreme weather, while nearly 65 percent would not choose one for all-wheel drive.

We get it. At Ford, we are all about safety. We understand that electric vehicles need to operate in a safe and reliable manner in whatever conditions Mother Nature throws at you — and give people the confidence they want when driving through tough conditions.

We can imagine where people may have gotten this impression. They have experienced cell phones with less charge in the cold. They have driven hybrid vehicles focused on fuel economy, not power. They have heard about electric vehicles with small batteries that can’t make the trip. Heck, most of us operate at sub-optimal levels when the temperatures drop.

Given those impressions, it would probably come as a surprise to most Americans that the top market for electric vehicles in Europe last year was cold and mountainous Norway, with over 35,000 sales in the first half of this year. It would come as a surprise to most Europeans that hot Southern California and mile-high, snowy Denver are among the top U.S. markets for electric vehicles.

At Ford, we’ve gone to great lengths to test our electric vehicles in extreme conditions. And while it is true that you can anticipate a partial reduction in range in extreme conditions, it is not something that is going to sneak up on you. After all, do you ever notice how you can’t travel as far on a tank of gas in the winter — or in the summer if you’re blasting the air conditioning?

That is why we are giving our vehicles bigger batteries, so you can be confident and comfortable. It means we’re creating better software designed to maximize range for when you need it. You’ll know where you stand even before you get in your vehicle. Furthermore, we will help ensure that you will have plenty of time to decide when and where to use one of thousands of charging points across the country.

We are serious about ensuring the capability of all our vehicles, from tough F-Series trucks to fast-moving Mustangs. Whether you’re talking wet and snowy, hot and humid, or a run up the mountain, we’re putting our vehicles through their paces. This includes high-tech simulators, hot and cold test tracks, and long drives in rough real-world conditions.

We are developing our electric vehicle software to help give you better road handling, stability and performance by calibrating power distribution to the wheels when you need it. This will give you a new level of confidence in the snow and rain.

We’re well on our way to making sure our all-electric vehicles are just as capable at handling the environment as they are at saving it. We are no strangers to battery technology — our engineers have been delivering hybrid electric vehicles for decades and understand their chemical behavior — and our electric batteries are tested at temperatures as extreme as minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit. We’ve designed them with the right cooling systems as well as pre-conditioning strategies that help maintain the battery temperature for optimum performance when the car is plugged in. Because our customers need to keep running. It’s that simple.

Over two-thirds of Americans (67 percent) and Europeans (68 percent) don’t believe that electric vehicles are capable enough in terms of towing and hauling.

We know a thing or two about building tough, capable vehicles at Ford. You can bet that our electric vehicles are going to take advantage of electrification to unlock capabilities that people never saw coming. That means there are going to be a whole bunch of people in for some awe-inspiring surprises.

Electrification doesn’t have to be about compromise — and it won’t be at Ford. We can deliver vehicles that are electric, thrilling and tough all at the same time. And that’s exactly what we’re going to do.

Don’t believe me? Just watch our all-electric F-150 prototype haul over 1 million pounds.

The gap between perception and reality does not stop there. Check out the new electric vehicle website to learn more. There’s a lot more coming from Ford very soon.

The all-electric F-150 prototype is towing far beyond a production truck’s capacity in a one-time short event demonstration. Never tow beyond a vehicle’s towing capacity. Always consult the Owner’s Manual.

To learn more about electric vehicles, visit Ford’s new Electric Learning Zone.

#1 Ford Daily | Đại lý – Showroom ủy quyền Ford Việt Nam 2019 Ford Daily là showroom, đại lý Ford lớn nhất Việt Nam: Chuyên phân phối xe ô tô FORD như: EcoSport ✅ Everest ✅ Explorer ✅ Focus ✅ Ranger… info@forddaily.com 6A Đường Trần Hưng Đạo, Phường Phạm Ngũ Lão, Quận 1, Hồ Chí Minh 711240 0901333373 https://forddaily.com/ https://forddaily.com/xe/ https://forddaily.com/dai-ly/ https://forddaily.com/bang-gia/ https://forddaily.com/tra-gop/ #forddaily #dailyfordhcm #fordshowroomhcm https://www.google.com/maps/place/Ford+Daily/@10.7693359,106.696211,15z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0x1f188a05d927f4ff!8m2!3d10.7693359!4d106.696211

[lesbianrewrites]

The Martian Chapter 13

*disclaimer* This is a project done for fun, and none of these characters/works belong to me. I do not claim to own any of the material on this page.

This is a Lesbian edit of The Martian by Andy Weir.

Chapters will be posted every day at 2pm EST.

Google doc version can be found here. The chapter can also be found under the cut. Enjoy!

CHAPTER XIII

The employees of Deyo Plastics worked double shifts. There was talk of triple shifts if NASA increased the order again. No one minded. The overtime pay was spectacular and the funding was limitless. Woven carbon thread ran slowly through the press, which sandwiched it between polymer sheets. The completed material was folded four times and glued together. The resulting thick sheet was then coated with soft resin, and taken to the hot-room to set.

LOG ENTRY: SOL 114 Now that NASA can talk to me, they won’t shut the hell up. They want constant updates on every Hab system, and they’ve got a room full of people trying to micromanage my crops. It’s awesome to have a bunch of dipshits on Earth telling me, a botanist, how to grow plants. I mostly ignore them. I don’t want to come off as arrogant here, but I’m the best botanist on the planet. One big bonus: Email! Just like the days back on Hermes, I get data dumps. Of course they relay email from friends and family, but NASA also sends along choice messages from the public. I’ve gotten email from rock stars, athletes, actors and actresses, and even the President. The coolest one is from my alma-mater, the University of Chicago. They say once you grow crops somewhere, you have officially “colonized” it. So technically, I colonized Mars. In your face, Neil Armstrong! I go to the rover five times a day to check mail. They can get a message from Earth to Mars, but they can’t get it another 10 meters to the Hab. But hey, I can’t bitch. My odds of living through this are way higher now. Last I heard, they solved the weight problem on Ares 4’s MDV. Once it lands here, they’ll ditch the heat shield, all the life support stuff, and a bunch of empty fuel tanks. Then they can take the seven of us (Ares 4’s crew plus me) all the way to Schiaparelli. They’re already working on my duties for the surface ops. How cool is that? In other news, I’m learning Morse Code. Why? Because it’s our back-up communication system. NASA figured a decades-old probe isn’t ideal as a sole means of communication. If Pathfinder craps out, I’ll spell messages with rocks, which NASA will see with satellites. They can’t reply, but at least we’d have one-way communication. Why Morse Code? Because making dots and dashes with rocks is a lot easier than making letters. It’s a shitty way to communicate. Hopefully it won’t come up.

All chemical reactions complete, the sheet was sterilized and moved to a cleanroom. There, a worker cut a strip off the edge. Dividing the strip in to squares, he put each through a series of rigorous tests. Having passed inspection, the sheet was then cut to shape. The edges were folded over, sewn, and resealed with resin. A man with a clipboard made final inspections, independently verifying the measurements, then approved it for use.

LOG ENTRY: SOL 115 The meddling botanists have grudgingly admitted I did a good job. They agree I’ll have enough food to last till Sol 900. Bearing that in mind, NASA has fleshed out the mission details of the supply probe. At first, they were working on a desperate plan to get a probe here before Sol 400. But I bought another 500 sols of life with my potato farm so they have more time to work on it. They’ll launch next year during the Hohmann Transfer Window, and it’ll take almost 9 months to get here. It should arrive around Sol 856. It’ll have plenty of food, a spare Oxygenator, Water Reclaimer, and comm system. Three comm systems, actually. I guess they aren’t taking any chances, what with my habit of being nearby when radios break. Got my first email from Hermes today. NASA’s been limiting direct contact. I guess they’re afraid I’ll say something like “You abandoned me on Mars you fuckwits!” I know the crew is surprised to hear from the Ghost of Mars Missions Past, but c’mon. I wish NASA was less of a nanny sometimes. Anyway, they finally let one email through from Martinez: Dear Watney: Sorry we left you behind, but we don't like you. You're sort of a smart-ass. And it's a lot roomier on Hermes without you. We have to take turns doing your tasks, but it's only botany (not real science) so it's easy. How's Mars? -Martinez My reply: Dear Martinez: Mars is fine. When I get lonely I think of that steamy night I spent with your mom. How are things on Hermes? Cramped and claustrophobic? Yesterday I went outside and looked at the vast horizons. I tell ya, Martinez, they go on forever! -Watney

The employees carefully folded the sheet, and placed it in an argon-filled airtight shipping container. Printing out a sticker, the man with the clipboard placed it on the package. “Project Ares-3; Hab Canvas; Sheet AL102.” The package was placed on a charter plane and flown to Edwards Air Force Base in California. It flew abnormally high, at great cost of fuel, to ensure a smoother flight. Upon arrival, the package was carefully transported by special convoy to Pasadena. Once there, it was moved to the JPL White Room for probe assembly. Over the next 5 weeks, engineers in white bodysuits assembled Presupply 309. It contained AL102 as well as 12 other Hab Canvas packages.

LOG ENTRY: SOL 116 It’s almost time for the second harvest. Ayup. I wish I had a straw hat and some suspenders. My re-seed of the potatoes went well. I'm beginning to see that crops on Mars are extremely prolific, thanks to the billions of dollars worth of life support equipment around me. I now have 400 healthy potato plants, each one making lots of calorie-filled taters for my dining enjoyment. In just ten days they’ll be ripe! And this time, I’m not replanting them as seed. This is my food supply. All natural, organic, Martian-grown potatoes. Don’t hear that every day, do you? You may be wondering how I’ll store them. I can’t just pile them up; most of them would go bad before I got around to eating them. So instead, I’ll do something that wouldn’t work at all on Earth: Throw them outside. Most of the water will be sucked out by the near-vacuum; what’s left will freeze solid. Any bacteria planning to rot my taters will die screaming. In other news, I got email from Venkat Kapoor: Maia, some answers to your earlier questions: No, we will not tell our Botany Team to “Go fuck themselves.” I understand you’ve been on your own for a long time, but we’re in the loop now, and it’s best if you listen to what we have to say. The Cubs finished the season at the bottom of the NL Central. The data transfer rate just isn’t good enough for the size of music files, even in compressed formats. So your request for “Anything, oh god ANYTHING but Disco” is denied. Enjoy your boogie fever. Also, an uncomfortable side note... NASA is putting together a committee. They want to see if there were any avoidable mistakes that led you to being stranded. Just a heads-up. They may have questions for you later on. Keep us posted on your activities. -Kapoor My reply: Venkat, tell the investigation committee they’ll have to do their witch-hunt without me. And when they inevitably blame Commander Lewis, be advised I’ll publicly refute it. -Watney

The presupply probes for Ares-3 launched on 14 consecutive days during the Hohmann Transfer window. Presupply 309 was launched third. The 251 day trip to Mars was uneventful, needing only two minor course adjustments. After several aerobraking maneuvers to slow down, it made its final descent toward Acidalia Planitia. First, it endured reentry via a heat shield. Later, it released a parachute and detached the now expended shield. Once its onboard radar detected it was 30 meters from the ground, it cut loose the parachute and inflated balloons all around its hull. It fell unceremoniously to the surface, bouncing and rolling, until it finally came to rest. Deflating its balloons, the onboard computer reported the successful landing back to Earth.

LOG ENTRY: SOL 117 The Water Reclaimer is acting up. Six people will go through 18 liters of water per day. So it’s made to process 20. But lately, it hasn’t been keeping up. It’s doing 10, tops. Do I generate 10 liters of water per day? No, I’m not the urinating champion of all time. It’s the crops. The humidity inside the Hab is a lot higher than it was designed for, so the Water Reclaimer is constantly filtering it out of the air. I’m not worried about it. Water is water. The plants use it, I use it. If need be, I can piss on the plants directly. It’ll evaporate and condense on the walls. I could make something to collect it, I’m sure. Thing is, the water can’t go anywhere. It’s a closed system. Plus, I made like 600 liters from MDV fuel (remember the “explosive Hab” incident?). I could take baths and still have plenty left over. NASA, however, is absolutely shitting itself. They see the Water Reclaimer as a critical survival element. There’s no backup, and they think I’ll die instantly without it. To them, equipment failure is terrifying. To me, it’s “Tuesday.” So instead of preparing for my harvest, I have to make extra trips to and from the rover to answer their questions. Each new message instructs me to try some new solution and report the results back. So far we’ve worked out it’s not the electronics, refrigeration system, instrumentation, or temperature. I’m sure it’ll turn out to be a little hole somewhere, then NASA will have 4 hours of meetings before telling me to cover it with duct tape.

Lewis and Beck opened Presupply 309. Working as best they could in their bulky EVA suits, they removed the various portions of Hab canvas and lay them on the ground. Three entire presupply probes were dedicated to the Hab. Following a procedure they had practiced hundreds of times, they efficiently assembled the pieces. Special seal-strips between the patches ensured air-tight mating. After erecting the main structure of the Hab, they assembled the three airlocks. Sheet AL102 had a hole perfectly sized for Airlock 1. Beck  stretched the sheet tight to the seal-strips on the airlock’s exterior. Once all airlocks were in place, Lewis flooded the Hab with air and AL102 felt pressure for the first time. They waited an hour. No pressure was lost; the setup had been perfect.

LOG ENTRY: SOL 118 My conversation with NASA about the Water Reclaimer was boring and riddled with technical details. So I’ll paraphrase it for you: Me: “This is obviously a clog. How about I take the it apart and check the internal tubing?” NASA: (After 5 hours of deliberation) “No. You’ll fuck it up and die.” So I took it apart. Yeah, I know. NASA has a lot of ultra-smart people and I should really do what they say. And I’m being too adversarial, considering they spend all day working on how to save my life. I just get sick of being told how to wipe my ass. Independence was one of the things they looked for when choosing Ares astronauts. It’s a 13-month mission, most of it spent many light-minutes away from Earth. They wanted people who would act on their own initiative, but at the same time, obey their Commander. If Commander Lewis were here, I’d do whatever she said, no problem. But a committee of faceless bureaucrats back on Earth? Sorry, I’m just having a tough time with it. I was really careful. I labeled every piece as I dismantled it, and laid everything out on a table. I have the schematics in the computer, so nothing was a surprise. And just as I’d suspected, there was a clogged tube. The Water Reclaimer was designed to purify urine and strain humidity out of the air (you exhale almost as much water as you piss). I’ve mixed my water with soil, making it mineral water. The minerals built up in the Water Reclaimer. I cleaned out the tubing and put it all back together. It completely solved the problem. I’ll have to do it again some day, but not for 100 sols or so. No big deal. I told NASA what I did. Our (paraphrased) conversation was: Me: “I took it apart, found the problem, and fixed it.” NASA: “Dick.”

AL102 shuddered in the brutal storm. Withstanding forces and pressure far greater than its design, it rippled violently against the airlock seal-strip. Other sections of canvas undulated along their seal-strips together, acting as a single sheet, but AL102 had no such luxury. The airlock barely moved, leaving AL102 to take the full force of the tempest. The layers of plastic, constantly bending, heated the resin from pure friction. The new, more yielding environment allowed the carbon fibers to separate. AL102 stretched. Not much. Only 4 millimeters. But the carbon fibers, usually 500 microns apart, now had a gap eight times that width in their midst. After the storm abated, the lone remaining astronaut performed a full inspection of the Hab. But she didn’t notice anything amiss. The weak part of canvas was concealed by a seal-strip. Designed for a mission of 31 sols, AL102 continued well past its planned expiration. Sol after sol went by, with the lone astronaut traveling in and out of the Hab almost daily. Airlock 1 was closest to the rover charging station, so the astronaut preferred it to the other two. When pressurized, the airlock expanded slightly; when depressurized, it shrunk. Every time the astronaut used the airlock, the strain on AL102 relaxed, then tightened anew. Pulling, stressing, weakening, stretching…

LOG ENTRY: SOL 119 I woke up last night to the Hab shaking. The medium-grade sandstorm ended as suddenly as it began. It was only a category 3 storm with 50kph winds. Nothing to worry about. Still, it’s bit disconcerting to hear howling winds when you’re used to utter silence. I’m worried about Pathfinder. If the sandstorm damaged it, I’ll have lost my connection to NASA. Logically, I shouldn’t worry. The thing’s been on the surface for decades. A little gale won’t do any harm. When I head outside, I’ll confirm Pathfinder’s still functional before moving on to the sweaty, annoying work of the day. Yes, with each sandstorm comes the inevitable Cleaning of the Solar Cells. A time honored tradition by hearty Martians such as myself. It reminds me of growing up in Chicago and having to shovel snow. I’ll give my dad credit; he never claimed it was to build character or teach me the value of hard work. “Snow-blowers are expensive,” he used to say. “You’re free.” Once, I tried to appeal to my mom. “Don’t be such a wuss,” She suggested. In other news, It’s seven sols till the harvest, and I still haven’t prepared. For starters, I need to make a hoe. Also, I need to make an outdoor shed for the potatoes. I can’t just pile them up outside. The next major storm would cause The Great Martian Potato Migration. Anyway, all that will have to wait. I’ve got a full day today. After cleaning the solar cells, I have to check the whole solar array make sure the storm didn’t hurt it. Then I’ll need to do the same for the rover. I better get started.

Airlock 1 slowly depressurized to 1/90th of an atmosphere. Watney, donning an EVA suit, waited for it to complete. She had done it literally hundreds of times. Any apprehension she may have had on Sol 1 was long gone. Now it was merely a boring chore before exiting to the surface. As the depressurization continued, the Hab’s atmosphere compressed the airlock and AL102 stretched for the last time. On Sol 119, the Hab breached. The initial tear was less than 1 millimeter. The perpendicular carbon fibers should have prevented the rip from growing. But countless abuses had stretched the vertical fibers apart and weakened the horizontal ones beyond use. The full force of the Hab’s atmosphere rushed through the breach. Within a tenth of a second, the rip was a meter long, running parallel to the seal-strip. It propagated all the way around until it met its starting point. The airlock was no longer attached to the Hab. The unopposed pressure violently launched the airlock like a cannonball as the Hab exploded. Inside, the surprised Watney slammed against the airlock’s back door with the force of the expulsion. The airlock flew 40 meters before hitting the ground. Watney, barely recovered from the earlier shock, now endured another as she hit the front door, face first. Her faceplate took the brunt of the blow, the safety glass shattering into hundreds of small cubes. Her head slammed against the inside of the helmet, knocking her senseless. The airlock tumbled across the surface for a further 15 meters. The heavy padding of Watney’s suit saved her from many broken bones. She tried to make sense of the situation, but was barely conscious. Finally done tumbling, the airlock rested on its side amid a cloud of dust. Watney, on her back, stared blankly upward through the hole in her shattered faceplate. A gash in her forehead trickled blood down her face. Regaining some of her wits, she got her bearings. Turning her head to the side, she looked through the back door’s window. The collapsed Hab rippled in the distance, a junkyard of debris strewn across the landscape in front of it. Then, a hissing sound reached her ears. Listening carefully, she realized it was not coming from her suit. Somewhere in the phone-booth sized airlock, a small breach was letting air escape. She listened intently to the hiss. Then she touched her broken faceplate. Then she looked out the window again. “You fucking kidding me?” She said.