#I’m not going to come out and yap on bad writing without watching the season first but I have some basic powers of pattern recognition

[hyakujuuou]

I have not watched dragons rising season three and I don’t plan to. As such I have been experiencing the plot and characters via tumblr dot com. Even so to this day I have no idea what the forbidden five’s powers are supposed to be. I think there’s bugs, death (?), the green one, and two more. Don’t ask me to put names to hats either

[wheezyseeker99]

Concentrate

Warnings: pining, swearing, grinding, oral and fingering (female receiving), protected sex (fm, shocker ik)

18+, MDNI

Summary: UMich Cam is here because I started writing this during finals and I had intrusive thoughts. Didn’t finish this until tonight after the game (it’s been forever sorry y’all). It’s strangers to friends to lovers.

Happy New Year 🫶🏼

Every mindless day I sit in the library to do my assignments. Today is no different. I don’t even have classes on campus on Monday’s, but I can’t sit at home and do them. It’s too difficult to get anything done there when I’m behind on every chore. Finals are soon and I’m forcefully getting myself through these assignments one by one whether if I like it or not.

I stretch my legs out and shrug my shoulders in attempt to release tension but it doesn’t work. I don’t really talk to classmates or random people so I’ve just been stuck in this bubble all day. Granted, I should be working on this science powerpoint project, but I’m losing my mind. Science is the epitome of evil. Nobody can tell me otherwise. Sitting here with my thoughts and study material is driving me crazy. I need to yap even if it’s only for a minute.

I decide on getting a coffee downstairs at the cafe so I stand and grab my wallet before making my way to the stairs. The walk down from the third floor is always brutal, but I always take the elevator back up. Balance is key when it comes to exercise in college aka walking instead of taking the stairs only sometimes.

I step into the cafe and immediately get hit with a waft of coffee hitting my senses. I like coming in here just for that boost honestly because I already feel more awake. Then my world came crashing down in front of me.

Cute guy.

I see him sometimes on campus, and especially in this building during the week. I know he’s an athlete but I never took the time to look him up on any of the rosters. He walks around here like he owns the place like a commanding presence in every room he’s in. His ginger hair has long under his hat, and he’s wearing sweatpants with a white t-shirt. Simple yet the hottest man I’ve ever seen. He’s at the counter ordering. The older lady behind the register is charmed by him just as much as I am apparently. Whatever he said has her smiling. I get in line behind him, making sure to keep space between us. Goosebumps trail down my arms when I hear him talk

“Thank you Lora, you didn’t have to give me a discount.”

“Anything for our best defenseman,” the lady before handing off the cup to her coworker. “We’re working on your drink. Shouldn’t be more than a couple minutes.”

He flashes his beautiful smile and nods without saying another word. He turns around and looks me up and down for a solid second before walking toward the pickup counter. I feel frozen in my spot as I watch him.

“Next in line.”

I snap out of the spell he put on me and step up to the counter to order my usual seasonal drink. I mumble a thank you and sit down at an empty table facing the pickup counter. Cute guy is still standing and scrolling mindlessly on his phone. I try not to stare at him but I fail terribly. He has more scruff on his face than usual.

“Do I have something on my face?”

My jaw slackens and my eyes go wide. Well shit, I’ve been caught. My mouth opens but I can’t find any words. I clear my throat before trying to speak again.

“No, sorry. I just spaced out for a moment.”

Cute guy walks over and pulls the chair out opposite of me before taking a seat. I stiffen up almost immediately.

“It’s not the first time I’ve seen you look at me, but I’ll take your word for it,” he winks and then smiles again. “So, you come here often?”

I breathe out a laugh. He’s not only cute, but he’s funny. I’m down bad at this point and he’s barely spoken to me.

“Nice way to break the ice. I go to school here just like you.”

“I tried,” he shrugged and reached a hand out. “I’m Cam, by the way.”

“Y/n,” I say and take his hand while locking eyes with his. I try not to focus on how his hands feel but I fail drastically. They have callouses but they’re softer than I thought. We shake hands for as long as possible before our names are called from the counter.

“Well y/n, you and I are going to be best friends.”

…

A few weeks later, Cam and I are sitting in his bedroom at the hockey house. Most people on campus had just finished their finals. I’m studying for my last one that I have to take tomorrow morning in class. I can’t focus though because his roommates don’t know chill if it hit them in the face.

Before I started hanging out here I didn’t know that hockey guys are nerds. His roommates spend most of their time (outside the rink) doing their homework before turning on their gaming consoles. What’s even more hilarious is the fact that they play against each other while staying inside their respective bedrooms. They talk to each other on discord as if they aren’t across the hall from one another. They’re so loud, though. Constantly talking loud into their mics.

“Cameron I can’t focus anymore,” I whine and throw myself back on his bed.

Cam stands from his desk and moves my books to his nightstand, plugging up his and my phones to the charger before laying down next to me.

We’ve gotten more comfortable than I ever expected. I have never laid in a bed with a man that I haven’t dated, but Cam is the exception apparently. He takes off his hat and ruffles his hair. The only thought I have is ‘I want to ruffle it too’. While sitting the hat down on top of my books, he turns off the lamp that was illuminating the room. My eyes barely have time to adjust to the darkness when Cam lays down next to me, placing his arm around my middle. He tugs me into his warm, hard body. It takes me only a second to sink into him.

“Nap with me and stop being stressed out,” he whispers into my hair. “You’re going to ace that final. I know it.”

I breathe out a sigh. The feelings that I had before we officially met are still there on my end, but I can’t tell how he feels about me. He has said that he talks to me more than anyone and that he likes spending time with me. I just can’t believe that he wants me in his life in such an important way in only a few weeks. It doesn’t add up from a romantic standpoint, which is why I keep my mouth shut on the feelings part of our relationship.

“I can hear the gears turning in your head. Turn them off y/n.”

“I can’t,” I turn over and place my head on his chest. I can feel his heart beating steadily.

It feels nice to have a friend like him. One that wants me to take care of myself. It almost makes me feel bad for having romantic feelings for him. It’s the little things he does that comforts me - texting little reminders to do things I have to get done in a day, the invites to his place when I need to get out of my dorm, remembering my coffee order.

“What can I do to help?”

I can feel his warm breath on my forehead as I close my eyes. I bite my lip to stop any words from escaping. I keep my feelings close to my chest and I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have just because I’m tired of holding back. I can’t just say ‘I need you’ and elaborate without involving feelings.

“Just a nap is fine Cam.”

I don’t say anything else. Short and sweet, to the point. I shove my head deeper into his chest and breathe him in for a moment. He smells freshly showered, not like how he usually smells after getting home from the rink. He must’ve taken his time in the shower today.

“Y/n?”

Cam’s lips whisper against my forehead before he places a kiss there. I shiver at the contact. His arm tightens around me, and damn, it feels so good to be this close to him. I hum in reply, not trusting myself to open my mouth.

“You cold?” he asks while raking his fingers through my hair.

I shake my head and take deep breaths. He’s being so gentle. If anything, I feel like my body is on fire. Every touch is sending me spiraling.

“Mm okay,” he whispers unconvincingly. “You can spend the night with me if you want to. I’m not kicking you out any time soon.”

“Thank you,” I mutter back to him.

…

When I wake up, I know it’s the middle of the night. I freeze immediately when I notice the position we’re in. I’m sprawled on top of Cam in the most scandalizing way. My lower half is slotted to his and his hand is resting underneath the waistband of my leggings on my ass. Though he’s wearing thick sweatpants, I can feel his dick through them against my most sensitive area. It takes every ounce of restraint in my body to keep from grinding into him. My clit aches at the thought. I know I’m already wet from the touch I’m receiving. If anything else, I know I’m going to soak my underwear from the thoughts that pop into my head.

I keep my eyes closed and drag my hand up his body to rest next to my head on his chest. Cam lets out a curse under his breath, telling me that he’s awake too. I pretend to be asleep and riskily shuffle only slightly against him to see what would happen. His grip on my ass tightens but his touch leaves as soon as he realized where his hand was. I can’t hold back the whimper that escapes my mouth.

“Fuck y/n. This is killing me,” Cam groans. “Going to come in my pants if that happens again.”

Nope, I’m definitely dreaming. I bite down on the inside of my cheek and force myself to stay still. Right when I thought he might have fallen asleep, his hips rotate into mine. Once and then again before Cam tosses the blankets away from our bodies.

“Fuck,” Cam grunts and places a kiss on my forehead and then my cheek. “Shit baby, I’m sorry I gotta get up. Not getting off on you while you’re asleep.”

I guess I’m good at pretending I’m asleep because he lays me back onto his bed, tucking the blanket over my body while muttering a string of curses before he disappears into his bathroom. I open my eyes when he shuts the door behind him.

Not even a moment later Cam is quietly moaning and I can’t shut my eyes again. I feel like a pervert listening in to his deepest darkest secret. I hear my name and my soul nearly jumped out of my body. I reach a hand down into my underwear and feel the damage Cam has done to me. I toss my head back when my fingers reach my center. I swirl my fingers around, coating my fingers with the wetness he created. My other hand clutched the blanket and removed it from my overheating body. I slip my fingers through my slit, lightly tapping my clit as I go. My ears perk up when I hear Cam’s muffled panting on the other side of the door.

“Going to come, y/n.”

Shit. He’s going to be done soon and I’m making a mess over here on his bed. He’s going to open the door and see me like this. There’s no reasonable way to get out of explaining this to him. I feel my inner monologue start and the panic starts to settle in. My fingers stop working themselves and I slip my hand out of my underwear. My fingers are clearly still coated, but I’m not paying any attention to that.

Just say you were having a dream that made you horny? No that’s stupid.

Be honest with him? At this hour? I’d rather die.

“Y/n?”

My gaze snaps to the door where Cam stood. The bathroom light is still on so I can see that he’s standing there holding his shirt in his hand, looking at me with an expression I’ve never seen him make before.

“Yeah Cam?”

“How much of that did you hear?”

“I didn’t hear anything,” I lie. “I’m going to the bathroom now that you’re out.”

I jump out of the bed and attempt to slip past him into the bathroom, but Cam’s hand clutches my wrist. He lifts it up in front of his face and my knees threaten to buckle. I see his nostrils flare as I swallow the lump in my throat.

“Do you want to lie to me again, y/n?”

I shake my head. His icy blue eyes bore into me.

“You don’t really need to use the bathroom. Do you?”

I shake my head again and advert my gaze away from him.

“Well fuck. I didn’t expect to have this conversation at,” he looks over at his clock, “2:43 in the morning.”

“I’m sorry. I can go home-“ I stutter out but Cam cuts me off.

“You’re not going anywhere. We’re not leaving this room any time soon,” he states. My back connects to the door frame in attempt of keeping me on my feet. Cam isn’t far and his proximity makes my body buzz. He steps in closer, caging me in as he stares down at me.

I allow myself 3 seconds to imagine a life where I had a version of Cam that’s mine. What a glorious life that would be. He releases my wrist and presses his bare chest into my covered body.

Cam tilts my head up. His gaze drops to my mouth, lingering for a moment. Then he leans in closer. I feel his breath against my lips.

I’ve never wanted anything more than this.

His lips are on mine, kissing me slowly. My entire soul is captured in this kiss. I whimper against his lips when he kisses me deeper. Like he wants to take his time but at the same time he can’t get enough. My knees buckle completely at the worst time. Cam’s hands grip my hips and drive me closer into him before I can hit the floor.

When his lips tear from mine his chest is heaving. I’m completely unable to think even slightly. My head is so dizzy.

“Finally,” Cam breathes against my lips before capturing them again.

I’m lost completely in him.

Before I realize what’s happening, I’m being dragged back to the bed. I ignore the swelling in my chest while I tangle my fingers in the hair along his nape. I can’t stop myself from touching him no matter how hard I try. And grinding into him isn’t enough.

I need more.

Cam seems like he needs more too. He desperately pulls at my shirt as his lips leave mine and make their way down my jaw. I whine out his name and he finally disconnects from my body. The warmth leaves my body, making me whimper at the loss of contact.

My eyes flutter open to see Cam standing over me breathing hard. His hair is wild from where I tugged at it and his sweatpants are terrible at hiding his arousal. And God, his chest is incredible. Pale with freckles scattered everywhere, and just the right amount of chest hair. I stop perusing his body to force myself to meet his gaze.

His eyebrows are scrunched together. I reach up and drag my fingers across the creases to flatten them. Cam gently kisses my palm before I can move my hand away. Yeah, my heart is going to explode in my chest.

“We’re doing this?”

His voice is rough and it’s quite frankly the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard. I swallow and finally open my mouth.

“I need you Cam.”

Fingers take a hold on my shirt, dragging it up my body. I anticipate that everything is going to change after this, but I’ve lost the ability to care right now.

Cam is doing these things to you willingly, y/n. Shut up.

I bring my focus back to him when he finally removes my shirt and fumbles with my bralette until it’s removed. His beautiful eyes widen for a moment before he brings his mouth to my chest.

My legs open further for Cam and he slots between them perfectly, pressing further into me. We moan out at the same time once his mouth meets my nipple. His tongue flicks the sensitive peaks and my back arches off the bed. I need more.

I bring my hand up and grasp the back of Cam’s head. I tug his lips away from my body and capture them with mine. His hands don’t stop moving though. I feel his hand go inside my waistband. His calloused fingers meet my core and he tugs his lips away from mine again.

“Tell me what you did when I was in the bathroom y/n.”

Cam’s fingers circle my aching clit and slide through the wetness. His eyes search mine.

“I was awake before you went in there,” I breathed out. “I pretended to be asleep.”

He smirks before driving two fingers into me.

“I did this to you? Made you this wet with just listening to me? You’re fucking soaked.”

I nod and whimper in reply.

“Help me out y/n,” he demands. “Take off your pants. Want to keep my fingers inside you.”

I obey, lifting my hips and drag the fabric of my leggings and underwear. Cam’s other hand clutches the fabric and throws it behind him, leaving me completely bare in front of him.

“Fuck y/n.”

Cam’s fingers move inside me before he lowers his mouth to my clit. He slowly flicks his tongue against me, flattening it to taste my center. He’s taking his time, yet I desperately need him to go faster. My hands fly to his hair in need of holding onto something.

“Please Cam,” I gasp. “Need you inside me.”

“Watch me eat your pretty pussy,” he says between licks. “I’ve dreamed about doing this, and I’m not stopping yet. Lie there and take it.”

My hips buck involuntarily. I feel the pressure building inside me, like I’m about to explode any second. My grip on his hair doesn’t lessen. If anything, I clutch it tighter.

Cam eats me like it’s his last meal. Sucking and licking every part of me. I’m writhing while he explores me. He’s grinding against my leg and I’m shocking he’s torturing himself this long. I never expected Cam to turn into an animal. My thighs attempt to clench around his head, but he shoves them open and sucks harder on my swollen bud. I see stars, moaning and groaning his name over and over until I feel on the brink of what I believe is my death.

“Don’t stop Cam,” I pant out. I barely recognize my own voice at this point. It sounds so raw, I’ll be shocked if his teammates don’t tease us about this in the morning.

“So fucking sweet,” he slurs against my flesh before sliding two fingers into my entrance. I’m clenching around them instantly and I want more. He jacks his fingers into me until I’m shaking. He reached the end of my fuse and I explode against him. He sucks greedily at my clit and continues lapping my core.

This is the most turned on I’ve ever been in my entire life. I’m still dazed when Cam rolls on a condom. I didn’t even notice him taking off his pants. I’m so out of it. When he looks at me laid out before him, he looks more tenderly than he had before we fell to his bed. My thighs spread, inviting him back in. I need him more than I need to breathe right now.

“You’re incredible,” Cam says. He leans down and captures my lips while he positions himself at my entrance. When he takes his lips away from mine the look on his face is determined. Determined to do what is the question. Cam grasps my face and slides his thickened cock into me.

“This changes everything about our friendship. Do you understand?” Cam moans into my ear while sinking deeper into me, “this isn’t just fucking, y/n. This is me wanting to be with you.”

I nod and pull him further into me. My hands push him into me and urge him to move.

“Please,” I beg.

Cam takes the opportunity to pin me down and give it to me. His hips match mine in an ungodly rhythm, the tempo not ceasing. This makes me feel like I’m in heaven and I don’t want it to stop. Ever.

“Fuck baby. I’m sorry I’m being rough,” he grits out.

“No please” I gasp and clench around him, “feel how much I like it?”

Cam nips at my throat and brings his hand up to my throat. He squeezes gently.

“You like it rough? Yeah beautiful?”

I moan out because no words come to mind. I grind myself into him, letting my body take everything he gives to me. Cam lets go of my throat and digs his face into my neck, taking full advantage of his position before pistoning into me relentlessly.

I’m coming before I realize it. I’m scraping my nails down Cam’s back, holding his sweaty skin to mine. I plaster my forehead to his and attach our lips while he rides out his orgasm.

Once he begins to catch his breath, his pace slows.

“Tell me you need me,” Cam’s voice is raw and yeah, that’s the sexist thing I’ve ever heard.

“I need you,” I say back with no hesitation whatsoever. “I need you for everything.”

“You’ve got me. I’m not going anywhere.”

My heart explodes. I know he means it when my eyes meet his. Cam pulls out of me and rolls off the condom, tossing it in the bin next to his nightstand. I take in the creamy skin of his back and how it looks with my nail scratches running down the expanse of it. He lays back down and pulls me to him, skin to skin. His hand cradles my jaw and my eyes meet his for the billionth time tonight.

“I’m yours, you know that right?”

“I know Cam, and I’m yours too.”

He plants a final kiss on my lips and lets out a relieving breath.

“Sleep baby. I’ll wake you in the morning.”

I smile and lay my head down against his warm skin. My fingers mindlessly trace shapes on chest as I close my eyes. I can get used to this.

…

“Cam! Cam! I passed!” I screamed and threw myself onto his bed as soon as I got back from taking my final exam.

After finalizing my exam, my professor went over the answers and I made a better grade than expected. I immediately left from there and came here to find Cam still in bed. His hair is ruffled and he lazily grins at me.

“I told you so,” he says and kisses me gently. “Nap with me. No practice until 3 pm today so we have the rest of the morning to be lazy.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” I kiss his cheek and then his lips.

[novemberdevils]

This comment is a bit too long I dont want tumblr to eat it so I will be cutting it in half and send them!

i exploded and disappeared over finals week honestly there is nothing like the crash out that happens after you finish your last exam and I never got to experience it again after finishing uni as much as I hated it but the sleep after was something else, there will be some endgame championship shenanigans if those shenanigans end up with jack winning I will be happy, honestly im about to text jack and tell him to go to any makeup store in Europe and buy a concealer they are cheaper than you would think-or at least cheaper than my home country-, you and me asking each other questions but none of us know when or if that happened is a funny pattern but you have the excuse of actually writing it but not knowing if you posted that bit or not my excuse is that I dream and ponder about them that I don’t know what is canon and what is fanon. 

I’m like genuinely obsessed with jack apologising first like unhealthy obsession because I was talking to one of childhood friends who is a therapist-she doesn’t like reading stuff because of dyslexia so I just read it to her her podcast like- and we have a session afterwards of us basically poking around and over analysing them; one of the many things she said that she feels that jack might apologise first even when he doesn’t mean it because there has been a couple pf incidents where he felt like he deserved to get an apology but he either didn’t get it or was a half assed pne so by apologising first it puts the other person in a position where if they apologise they would appear as the asshole, PLEASE I NEED MORE FIST FIGHTS but the media and fans are childish who hate having fun, jack being a pathological people pleaser is just like me I wouldve said that we could get together and talk about people pleasing but I fear it would end up with us being not able to talk because we dont want to burden the other; but jack wanting to get all the tifosi to like him? That’s the most difficult thing ever because as tifoso the only person the we all agree to love in Micheal, they should both actually just keep their mouths shut for the rest of the season I mean YOU could do it but I fear that there is no way either could keep it shut if a gun was pointed at their heads. 

NO BECAUSE I LOVE JACK BUT I WANT TO SMASH HIS HEAD like fuck you EYE need the answer I read this story from your fucking perspective and you make me want to kill you when you dont ask nico questions, no because I too canNOT wait for the end where I could reread the whole thing and scream being like YEAH THIS HAPPENED YOU TEASED THIS and believe that I will come and scream at you when that happens you are never escaping my yapping, no like the luke and jack fight scene was so well written and it did feel like a fight between siblings where you stop just shy of actually screaming what you really want to say and not sugar coat it because it always turn into a family fight and everyone hates everyone and it’s such a mess, but I had just realised that luke and jack are each other’s home in this so them fighting is Extra bad and was about to call my friend and be like OMG we didn’t discuss this but it’s 4 AM and she is a better human than me because she is asleep and im awake watching men follow a small round black puck around, luke being the one who basically is putting jack perhaps unconsciously in a box where he wanted him to react in a specific way the same way the media put him in the box pf a “good guy” and then get mad when jack doesn’t meet the expectations he didnt even know existed in the first place, no because I get jack I HATE when im venting to someone anf then they’ll tell me oh I understand something similar happened I dont give a shit about what happened to you we can discuss this later I just want you to say that our experiences were different and you could talk about your experiences without me turning the situation about me and me being there for you. 

and nico is. nico. Yup please I beg you give me a shred of nico pov I would cherish that shit, no because jack loving the scenes with nico because whatever happens between them stays between them and nico doesn’t judge him even when jack knows he has given him a lot of stuff to be judged over-the choking, the throwing the condom, the not wanting the condom at all, the begging and pleading, and the general mess- all of these stuff nico could judge him for liking but he doesn’t so that maybe jack unconsciously choosing to be with nico rather than being with someone who will judge him for not aceing a test he doesn’t know exits, BUT I need a nico pov because I need to know what he thinks about the Scenes between them without jack being a depressing, self hating, and self sabotaging asshole, yeah jack absolutely has the control he just doesn't believe that. i could go on but that's all too spoilery STOP TEASING MY POOR HEART CANT HANDLE IT; but please tell me more I need more nothing would ever stop me from wanting more.1/2

back on my answering asks bullshit. hello! this ask is old-ish but i want to clear my inbox out in order lmao my bad

the post-finals week crash out was real. like all of my finals were fake bc of the classes i was taking (like they were big projects i had to submit instead of exams) so it sucked a lot out of my poor soul. i had to make this batshit insane website about regulated airspace and it took me like 13 hours fucking. never again. No

anyways. inertia. jack is a dumb idiot but we knew that. since i am answering these asks in the Future and ch5 is out i will be full spoilery lol like i kinda forgot i opened the whole chapter with jack staring at all the bruises on his neck in his bathroom. post-six straight hours of html when i had just hit post i scrolled down a bit and went what the hell is all this… like i didn’t write it. rip. BUT LIKE I AM SO BAD AT REMEMBERING WHAT I’VE WRITTEN. EVER. esp with this fic i think at least partially because it’s so long 😭😭 like god knows maybe that happened 74 thousand words ago i don’t remember??? every time i have to cross-check something i’m working on with something that happened previously i get so mad because the ctrl+f feature on the gdoc takes like 10 years to load. yknow. because it’s over 300 fucking pages

i could psychoanalyze jack all day. shoutout to your therapist friend i’m sure she’s having a ball with jack and all of his buffoonery 😭 but srsly i love when you (+ therapist friend) analyze these idiots, i am always analyzing them myself ofc but hearing an outside opinion on it is veryexciting to me. writer brain. and your friend is probably right jack does do that. he’s a chronic apologizer for a Lot of reasons but part of it definitely is almost like. trying to corner the other person - like you said, if he apologizes and they don’t then they’ll look like the asshole. and he doesn’t inherently do it with malicious intent but yknow. sometimes he also figures someone might not be willing to offer the first apology because of like pride or something but he doesn’t care about those kinds of things in that way so he’ll just say he’s sorry. even if he isn’t, really. but then when his plan fails he just gets mad lmao

jack lowkey wants everyone to like him. and he knows that’s unrealistic so he doesn’t cling to it too much, but he is deeply a people pleaser and in his ideal world, everybody likes him. even fucking. carlos. but he does care more about certain opinions compared to others (coughs nico) so like. yeah who cares if timmy in the grandstands wants him to lose he’ll get over it, but if the people he cares about don’t care about him he’ll self-implode. (not that he cares about nico that would be crazy what—)

and yeah neither of them will Ever shut up. re: nico telling a reporter that jack was in his apartment in monaco. oops

jack does need to be kicked in the face maybe that’s what trevor is for! i will lay eight billion seeds even though my outline is loose and incomplete and pretty much just Vibes. what are my plans for canada? actually bad example i do have plans for that bc i have to write it next lmao BUT there are lot of things that i know i want to happen, just not when. so. seeds can still be laid. not telling you what the things are but only some of them are not safe for work. and some of them involve Conversations. i have somany scenes to write dear god actually fun fact i have one (1) scene from summer break written in my notes app so there’s that at least. outlines are dumb who needs a three act structure when i have ✨vibes✨

poor jack and his many boxes. i think i put some line in ch5 about expectations and them being the only thing he knows how to live up to? i don’t know. i can’t remember all 48 thousand of those words. but like. True. a lot of different people expect a lot of different things from jack and he can’t make everyone happy, so here he is crawling out of some of the boxes he doesn’t like lmao

nico is a sweetie and jack is being mean to him 💔 okay not really but also yes really. nico is kind of a dick but like. he cares. if you pay attention to him hopefully you can tell? like he says a lot of out of pocket shit but he’s not a total asshole. i don’t know. i have. so many thoughts about nico’s character but a lot of it i would still consider spoilers which means i am always vagueing when i start talking about him lmao my bad… just know. The Seeds. i am planting them. chekhov’s. No. well yes but i’m not telling you what chekhov has because i am evil 😈

[eviearie]

All I Want for Christmas is to Not Be Poisoned By Your Cooking

Happy Holidays (and happy new year) @stormypaint ! This is a gift for the @sanderssidesgiftxchange, in which the sides are fluffy idiots and I think I accidentally roast myself. I had a lot of fun writing this. Hope you enjoy! (Additional note: I got 2 of the wishes down. I tried to put angst in here but—it did not work. At all). 

Pairings: Platonic DLAMPR 

Word Count: 2574

Warnings: lots of bickering, 1 swear word, it looks like Remus might accidentally kill someone at one point but it’s all good 

Summary: It’s the solstice, and the sides are finally getting around to getting in the Christmas spirit. Decorating, baking, gift exchanging, and of course, playful bickering— what more could Janus ask for?

Read on Ao3 here

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Janus lounged on a chair in the common room, sipping his… soup as the other sides worked around him. Roman was hanging stockings above the fireplace, Logan was putting ornaments on the tree, and Virgil was sitting on top of the couch with a cup of hot cocoa made by Patton, who was in the kitchen with Remus. The outcome of that should prove to be interesting. 

Janus got up off the chair and walked to the kitchen, the sounds of playful bickering and crackling fire lightening the area behind him. He walked into the kitchen, bracing internally for whatever horrible sight he was about to see. 

Surprisingly, it wasn’t actually too bad.

Patton was kneeling down by the oven, watching whatever abomination was surrounded by the warm yellow light illuminating it. Remus was— well, it looked like he was attempting to stir something in a pot, but it wasn’t going very well. 

“Do you need some help?” Janus asked, raising a brow as he approached Remus, who was covered in chocolate. 

Remus exhaled, “No duh, Snakespeare,” he said. “I’m fudging the fudge!” 

Patton giggled from the oven. Janus looked unimpressed. 

“Don’t give me that,” he said, taking the pot from the other side and vigorously mixing the glossy chocolate in the pot with ease. 

“Damn Jan, those snake arm muscles are buff,” Remus commented as he recovered. 

“Hours in the kitchen with Patton will do that to you, especially when those first batches are always in perfect condition,” Janus said with a glace over at Patton. 

The oven alarm went off with a little tune. “Cookies are ready!” Patton exclaimed, grabbing a pair of oven mitts from the counter and opening the oven. Janus was surprised to find that the smell wafting from it was actually pleasant. 

 "Yes!" Remus cheered, skipping over to bask in the presence of those cookies. "Can we eat them now?" 

"They do look good," Janus commented with faux surprise in his voice. Patton gave him the Dad Look™. You know, the one with the oven-mitted hands on hips and the (quote-unquote)  disappointment in the eyes. That one. 

“Of course they do, kiddo,” Patton chided. Janus just lifted a cookie off the still-hot tray, biting into the soft warm dough. It’s okay, Remus already had already stuffed several in his mouth. 

Wow. “Not bad.” 

“Whoo! We did it pops! We got props from the second harshest critic here!” Remus exclaimed, holding a hand up to Patton for a high five, which would have been accepted if not for the fact that the latter was still holding the hot pan of cookies. 

“Third,” Janus corrected. “As long as one’s own work counts, Roman goes before me.”

“I heard that!” Came a call from the other room. 

“Hey! Don’t eat all of them!” Patton scolded Remus, holding the pan up to get it out of the other side’s radius and holding back a smile from his face. “They’ve got to be frosted first.”

“Oh, joy,” Janus said while Remus cheered. “This better be a repeat of the Easter fiasco.”

“I think we all learned from that,” Patton said as he set the pan down. 

Janus wasn’t convinced, but he let it slide anyway. Tis the season, right? 

“But first, we should probably clean up,” the moral side continued. 

“Yes, because it looks terrible in here—” Janus started, before Patton nodded behind him. Janus turned around. 

“Oh.” Yep, that was terrible indeed. Remus must have gone full rat mode in the flour, or something. Janus really hoped that was food coloring, too, and not blood. 

“I’m gonna leave you two to that,” Janus said, backing away slowly, “and make sure Virgil doesn’t come in here.”

“Thanks Jan, love ya kiddo!” Patton called before Janus closed the kitchen door with a small sigh. 

“Janus. We need your help,” Roman said with a very serious tone in his voice. 

"What is it?" Janus asked with a sigh. 

"Roman thinks that—" 

"I think that," Roman started, interrupting Logan, “we shouldn’t hang the mistletoe ornament up on the tree, and instead hang it over the doorway.”

“First of all, I’ve already told him this is holly, not mistletoe—”

“It’s what it’s supposed to be!”

“Mistletoe is white!” Logan near screeched. 

“It’s true, mistletoe isn’t white,” Janus added. 

“I’ll just change it then!” Roman exclaimed with an exasperated tone as he waved a hand, the berries on the holly in Logan’s hand changing from a bright red to a hazy white. 

Logan looked satisfied. “Second, it’s an ornament for the tree. It should go on the tree. You can conjure up a real mistletoe if you wanted, although the whole idea of hanging one up for romantic purposes is rather silly.”

Roman harrumphed. “But what’s the point of having it on the tree?”

“There is no point, it’s for decoration. Did you not hear what I just said about the purpose being quite—”

“It’s romantic, Logan!” Roman said with a dramatic flair, spinning around and fake fainting towards Logan. The dark blue side quickly

 caught him with his free arm. 

“Can’t argue with that logic,” Janus commented. 

“I could,” Logan retaliated. 

“Oh my god guys, just hang the damn mistletoe up,” Virgil groaned from the couch. 

"But we haven't resolved-" 

"Roman. Make a new mistletoe. Like this," Virgil said, leaning forward to show a picture of a rounded ball of mistletoe. 

Roman pouted his lips but conjured up something. 

"Great. Now hang it up in the kitchen doorway like you wanted," continued Virgil. 

Roman did so. 

"Now it's resolved," said Virgil, relaxing again. 

"Terrible job Virgil," said Janus. The anxious side just rolled his eyes. 

Soon Patton and Remus came walking out of the kitchen, Remus kicking something from his fingers and Patton dusting off flour from the bottom of his shirt. 

Roman perked up from his place on the couch, where he had sat. "Hah! You two are under the mistletoe!" He exclaimed. 

"Aww, you hung up mistletoe, that's sweet," Patton commented before giving Remus an honorary kiss on the forehead. 

"Is it sweet-?" Logan started. 

"Shut your yap Sherlock," Remus cut in. 

Janus patted Logan's head as the latter crossed his arms. 

"Are the cookies ready?" asked Roman. 

"-And are they intact, not soggy, not burnt, not poisoned, and do they actually taste good?" asked Virgil. 

"Yep!"  Patton chimed, walking up and plopping himself down on the floor near the tree. 

Virgil didn't look convinced. 

"Do worry Virgil, I've seen them and they look absolutely horrible," said Janus. Virgil looked horrified only for a split second before understanding, immediately seeming much more relaxed and relieved. 

"Did you follow the recipe I gave you?" Logan asked. 

"We did!" replied Remus, who was draped over the coach next to Virgil. "At least the third time we made them." 

"Trust me, these cookies are gonna be dadlicious," Patton said. 

"That one wasn't even good." 

"I'm not on my b—a—ke game today." 

"Oh god." 

"Either way, these ginger-dad cookies are going to be a gift to us all." 

"Really? Dad again?" 

Patton shrugged, smiling. 

"Speaking of gifts—" Janus started, "I have a question for you all." 

"What's the question?" asked Patton. 

"That is the question," added Virgil.  

"'That' is not a question,” said Logan. “‘That' is a word used most commonly to refer to an object or idea." 

Roman sat up. "Oh, it's not just used to refer to an object! I refer to Remus as 'that' too.”  

(Remus was unfazed, as to be expected). 

“The question,” Janus started, again, “is when you all want to do gift exchanges this year.”

“Let’s do it now!” Patton exclaimed enthusiastically. 

“Patton, it’s December 21st. While I do agree that the solstice is a beautiful thing to celebrate, Christmas isn’t for 4 days.” 

“3 days,” chorused Virgil, Remus, and Roman simultaneously. 

“Don’t question my counting methods.”

“Well, we can do some now, right? We’ve done so much work today, decorating and baking, it would be a fun treat!”

“I can’t argue with that,” said Janus. 

Judging from the lack of bickering, it didn’t seem like anyone else could either. 

"Yay!" Patton exclaimed. "Let's do our secret Santa gifts. I'll go first!" 

The group had decided to do a secret gift exchange between all of them that year-- but some sides (Patton especially) wanted to give gifts to everyone anyways. So there would be more gifts coming on Christmas day. 

"I had Logan," said Patton, passing a gift to the logical side, "so I got him a book!" 

"A book, how practical of you-" Logan started, although he cut off as soon as he saw what book it was." 

"A book of dad jokes!" Patton said, beaming. 

Logan sighed to himself as he opened the book up. "An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. They go out into the  hallway and see a fire, so they fill a trash can from his room with water and douse the fire. They go back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. They walk down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etcetera, they extinguish the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed." 

"Why did you pick the longest joke you could find?" Virgil complained. 

"I'm just hearing a bunch of math words," said Remus. 

"Later," Logan continues without a glance up, "the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. They go into the hall, see the fire, and the fire hose. They think for a moment, then exclaim, 'Ah, a solution exists!'. Then they go back to bed." 

Silence. Only silence was in the room. 

"That was actually really funny," said Logan, closing the book. 

"Gimme that," said Remus, stretching over the top of the couch to snatch the book from Logan. 

"Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3s and 5s?" read Remus, who then looked around for a response. 

"I don't know, why?" asked Patton. 

"Because they can't even." 

Virgil snickered at that. From the others came "That was a pretty good joke" and "yeah that makes sense" and another laugh. 

"Oh, there's also a gift card in there for you," added Patton. 

Logan lifted up the Amazon gift card. "Thank you, Patton," he said, before setting his gifts aside. "I had Janus as my giftee." 

"Oh goodie," said Janus. It was unclear even to him if he was being sarcastic or not. (He wasn't). 

"I got you a book as well. Marcus Aurelius," Logan said as Janus opened his gift. 

"Is that the 'breed quails for fighting' guy?" Remus asked excitedly. 

Logan put his hand against his head. "Yes, but he also made many other significant points-" 

"I want to breed quails for fighting." 

"Actually Marcus Aurelius suggested against that—" 

"Thank you, Logan, This will be a great addition to my collection. And that's the truth," said Janus, putting another argument on hold. 

Logan smiled, because yes, it was. 

"Well, I had Virgil," Janus said, glancing over at the anxious side.

"Let's get this over with," said Virgil, reaching for his gift. 

"I got you a new pair of headphones, since your old ones broke-" 

"Sorry about that again," said the twins at the same time. 

"-And I also got you some new eyeshadow. You're welcome." 

"Thank you," said Virgil, just a hint of surprise in his voice as he looked down at his gifts. 

"Et toi?" 

"Uh, I had Roman. Here, take your gift," said Virgil, handing a bag to Roman, who accepted it graciously. "I got you some makeup and slippers. Nothing much." 

"Oh my gosh Virgil I love them!!! They're so on brand!" Roman exclaimed, his voice ringing with life throughout the mindscape. Virgil cringed, but smiled back with a thumbs-up as he recovered. 

“Sadly, I had Remus,” Roman says, although his smile was still prominent as he set his gift to the side. 

“Oooh goodie,” Remus replies with a grin, picking up his own gift. 

“How dare you steal the phrase I just used,” Janus commented. 

“Just open the thing already,” Roman said to Remus. 

Remus did so. “Gasp, a sword! With holographic green and an octopus hilt??”

“I know, it’s great,” Roman started. Janus could hear Virgil whisper “How did he pull that whole thing out of that tiny bag?” to Logan. 

“Thanks bro!” Remus exclaimed. Virgil leaned over from his spot on the couch and held on to the closest side he could find—Janus—in order to avoid Remus’ slashing radius. 

“Okay, take it easy on the sword swinging,” Janus said, putting a careful hand on Remus’ shoulder. 

Remus lowered his sword with an apologetic grin. “And I got you, pops!” he said, looking over at Patton. “Your gift is there. Even though our amazing cooking is a gift in itself!”

“It is,” Patton says whilst picking up his gift, opening the box it was wrapped in. 

The moral side peered into the box. “Oh my gosh!!” he squealed. 

“It’s a puppy!” Remus exclaimed. 

“Oh no,” Logan, Virgil, and Janus said simultaneously. 

The dark grey and curly-furred puppy looked up at Patton with adorable eyes, and Patton started it down with adoration. “I. Love. You.” 

“I love you too Pat,” said Remus. 

“I think he was talking to the puppy,” Roman cut in, although he was also looking adoringly at the small dog. 

“Yes. But I also love you, Remus!” Patton said, beaming as the dog jumped into his arms. 

“Well, that was enjoyable,” Janus commented as Logan tried to talk Patton out of whatever adorable thing he was trying to do with this puppy that would probably miraculously disappear tomorrow. Give it a week, at most. 

"Yeah— this year has been rough. And I don't even know what year it is!" said Roman, who was putting his slippers from Virgil on. 

“I love you guys,” said Virgil, so casually it would have shaken the room in any situation where Patton and Remus weren’t occupied with lovingly staring down an adorable puppy and the rest of them weren’t occupied with watching them. 

“I love you too!” replied Roman, which was then followed by an “And I as well” from Logan, and a “Not me” from Janus himself, and “Same” chorusing from Patton and Remus, still occupied with the puppy.

“You should really do something with that puppy, though,” Janus said at Patton. “Before he ruins anything.”

“You think an angel with this face would destroy?” Patton asked with a coo, holding up the puppy for Janus to see. 

“It is Remus’ creation, so, yes,” Janus said. 

“That’s fair,” replied Remus, right as the puppy jumped out of Patton’s arms and bounded over to the tree (scarily, as Virgil would say). 

“I’ll go put him in my room,” the dad side said before any disaster could strike, scooping the puppy in his arms and sinking out, returning soon after. “Should we frost cookies then?” he asked, smiling at the group with a—not signature, because this one was real—grin. 

“Oh no,” said Logan and Virgil simultaneously. 

“Oh yes,” the twins chimed together. 

So with a trip to the kitchen, as well as many creative ways of avoiding the newly-hanged mistletoe, the sides frosted their Christmas cookies. And, well— 

It may not have been as much of a fiasco as Easter, but it wasn’t pretty either.

It’s the Sanders sides. What would you expect?