#I'm not tagging all this because its late and im lazy so this is for the tag stalkers and them only

[rassblerry]

I started My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999 so that inspired this AHAHAHA

[sleepingdiaryzzz]

hold on,hold on,Yandere!Conner Kent x reader🙏🏻

(sorry for bothering😭)

U ain't a bother and if anybody tells you that u do, then, they gonna face my pinky, my thumb and my fist they gonna run. 😼🐺🧏🏽‍♀️ nobody messes with my first ever anon 😠👊

Anyways

The night has fallen quietly over Metropolis, the cityscape softened under a blanket of stars. The world feels smaller somehow, contained within the walls of your apartment where Connor sits, angled slightly toward you, his gaze unwavering yet serene. He has that brooding, intense look—a mix of steel and tenderness—that you’ve come to recognize as uniquely his. It’s as though he’s carrying a burden, one he won’t let you see, and yet you feel its weight as if he’s drawn you into his orbit without permission.

“Connor,” you say softly, trying to break the quiet, “you’ve been… around a lot more lately.”

His eyes flicker, something shadowy dancing behind them, a vulnerability he usually keeps hidden. He doesn’t answer right away, just lets his gaze travel over your features as if memorizing every detail. The room feels charged, the air between you like the fine thread of a spider’s web—delicate and unbreakable all at once.

Finally, he speaks, his voice hushed but firm. “I just want to make sure you’re safe. Is that so wrong?”

There’s a faint, haunting cadence in his words, something raw and possessive yet laced with an almost tragic reverence. You feel the intensity radiating off him, a barely restrained storm beneath his calm exterior.

“Nothing could happen to you,” he continues, almost to himself. “Not on my watch. I’d make sure of that.”

You’ve always known Connor’s protectiveness runs deep, but tonight, it feels like there’s something else lurking beneath the surface. An edge, a quiet desperation that clings to the room, thick as fog.

“Connor…” you say his name with a gentle tone, hoping it might pull him out of whatever dark place he’s retreating into. He’s so close now, leaning forward, his hand reaching out as if compelled by some invisible force. When his fingers graze your cheek, his touch is featherlight, as though he fears you’ll vanish.

“If I could keep you here,” he whispers, his tone taking on a dreamy, almost poetic quality, “locked away from the world… I would. Not because I want to take anything from you, but because I… I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you.”

It’s a confession wrapped in longing, and you see the truth of it in his eyes, where constellations seem to burn just for you. There’s something about his gaze that feels eternal, as if the universe itself has handed him the task of guarding you.

“You mean a lot to me,” he says finally, each word slow and deliberate, as though he’s trying to etch them into your soul. “More than you know.”

In that moment, his love feels like an uncharted ocean—beautiful and terrifying, with depths you’re not sure you’re ready to explore. But his sincerity anchors you, and, despite the intensity of his words, you can’t help feeling safe, cocooned in the quiet power of his devotion.

(A/n: is it just me or do you guys also feel suspicious of how I could post every day despite saying I'm too lazy to do so... Maybe my laziness hasn't kicked in yet which is weird and scary considering I'm writing dis rn in front of my 10 homework activities, and yes I am doing it last minute but so what...? I'm too lazy to do all of em and rn I'm don't know what I am talking about... I love yapping but I'm a introvert does it make me a extrovert when i talk too much but not as loud? Guys I'm turning crazy, I need someone to talk to and all my best friends are busy idk why they've been busy since last week....my gf is not replying for like 20 minutes now...im going crazy. Also sorry for spamming the Batfamily tag even though it's not the content I posted, I just feel like it's more famous than the others and also idk how to tag... Though mainly because I'm scared of being a flop hehe...)

[porcelainebambi]

Ooo ya shaka shaka

I'm up way too late again because i was drawing but it's also been way too long without drawing for my liking so oh well. And obviously i had to draw Angel because i adore her. Forgive any spelling mistakes i may make it's past 3:00 in the morningmeow.

First photo Lilith dancing with Angel at prom because Angel is a cutie in her little dress and shawl. And Lily is singing who's that wonderful girl as she spins her all around even though pop music is very just playing around them. Weid ass color layering over them cause i was just having fun doing something silly. Also they're in two entirely different line thicknesses but i don't care enough to fix and repost it meow. Lilith loves angel so much and would be like noticeably sweeter to her than she is to any other PC including my own.

second one angel panics because she didn't know she has suddenly become such a lady's man. Babette is there and she definitely has a big crush on angel. She loves a princely girl who doesn't like sex because babs is asexual and regularly bear sprays people who flirt with her unless they're a hot masc girl with lion like hair. AKa just anyone who looks like Angel.

But the other girl is a PC i haven't actually put out yet. Her name is Genevieve, or Genie. She also likes Angel but she's constantly half dissociated, basically never makes expressions unless you specifically ask her to, and she has no emotional recognition so she doesn't know she likes Angel. In my head they met because someone was harassing Genie and Angel swooped i to swing on them right as Genie was about to stab them in the face. And she was like oh wow someone is doing the hard part for me. I should give her a cool keychain and some strawberry jammie. People like neat jam jars right?

And ever since she follows angel like a lost puppy, keeps giving little trinkets she finds like a pup showing you its favorite toy, and sometimes just gives her money because she has no understanding of the actual value of money she just knows other people need it.

I need to include a fun fact in all my posts so fun fact neither of them are actually real angels. They're what i like to think of as imitation angels which are just divine angel adjacent things who aren't bound by the same rules as actual angels. I don't really care that much about canon at this point when it comes to making my PCs because restricting myself when i know im insane about super natural and horror stuff is like that image of the werewolf tearing its shirt off.

Those two little imitation angels are so majorly possessive of Angel as soon as they get their grubby little hands on her and i have literally over 16 drawing ideas in a big list that I want to make of just Angel and my freaks interacting. Im gonna shit myself if i dont get the chnace to draw them all.

also genie is a puppy angel thing i was just entirely tooo lazy to properly connect her dog ears in this drawing.

@ladyofalabyrinth sorry for all this yappery so late at night you're gonna get tagged like 30 times over spring break because ill have full free range chicken time to be drawing my bif angel drawing idea list

meow maow miao

[ramonathinks]

I saw your recent post, and do you mind if I rant a little? It's annoying as writers to be seeing that. Notifications are bombarded with that stuff and if you like fanfics, then its okay to reblog posts. Even place it under an organized tag (I do it). It's not going to mess up the 'aesthetic' of your blog, it only helps out writers in the community to get their stories out. Sometimes, I wonder about why I'm still writing but, I remembered that its something I do in my freetime. Or, it could be laziness but that's just me.

(sorry this is soooo late because i seen it when you sent it but i was omw to class so i forgot :/)

honestlyyy im not even going to get back into the conversation like that because two accounts ago, i said some stuff about how people need to reblog fics and how i was going to start blocking accounts and such! and i got called a bunch of slurs and told to kms😭 sooo, even when a mutual came into defense and said “hey well you can actually make a side blog if you don’t wanna mess up your aesthetic” and they were just arguing with us like all Christmas!

But at this point… i just only block blank accounts because even though nobody sees your follower count, i just am so tired of having to block like hundreds of accounts because they don’t reblog, i did that on my last account and it was so annoying. even though yes i want and wish people would reblog more, lately i have seen more accounts who actually do and that’s giving me a bit of some good feeling knowing that it’s way more accounts than it used to be but at the end of the day, i wish people would realize that: this is tumblr, you’re already a freaky fuck if you’re on here, anyone on here, i already know you’re a freak! that’s why you’re on here so stop being scared to just reblog something nsfw

[speltfields]

NO WAAAYYY YOUR NEW WIP 😭😭😭😭 YOURE TRYING TO KILL US !!!!!

and about music he listens to it's so hard for me to decide some genre i've listened to all the shane playlists on spotify and i can't decide

what about you????

-🫶 anon

ok so first off to my non stardew followars (sorry) im gonna start tagging everything with #sdv posting so u can blaclklist. love u

answer under the readmore to save u all from the harmful psychic rays of my thoughts

i habe been thinking about the answer to this question for SOOOO LONGGGGG because i feel this has layers like here's all the different factors I have to consider

[and willfully ignore because hes my wet pathetic doll i can do whatever i want with]

1. stardew takes place in like the 80's yeah? 🤔🤔🤔 i ignore this one most of the time. giving them cellphones is funny. its the 2020s they all just have bad cell service and dial up still

2. emilys 8 heart event shane dresses like a punk. Dude gives off "i wanted to be a goth in middle school but couldnt afford tripp pants from the mall but now im an adult and too lazy to try" vibes. maybe his music taste reflects this

3. Umm he's "old" Lol (affectionate) I see him like late 30's early 40's...

4. But is he like COOL old or THINKS hes cool old (important distinction you have surely been around both types of men before and know the difference)

these are all of the factors i have to consider when choosing what music he would listen to.. the like "game takes place during the 80s" thing is the rule i play fast and loose. I only care about it if its funny contextually. usually its funnier if its not the case. Anyways onto the actual headcanons

I think shane would have pretty bad taste in music but once u are friends with him he's open to listening to new stuff and if you show him something new he hadn't heard before he'd say "Huh you're kind of weird aren't you 😏" making fun of you for it but secretly he'd think it was good/ he is def open to listening to new stuff. He secretly does like old school country as well. Noone knows this. You discover john denver/johnny cash cds buried under his bed (he listens to them to feel cool)

I think he would believe he had an eccentric music taste but then you'd go through his collection and its like... weezer. rhcp. maybe some metal. and ur like. This is Dad Rock Radio Tier and he'd be like "WHAT green day isnt dad rock" (i dont believe this yet but id say it to him anyway to make him mad. you understand)

you'd show him some shit like roswell kid and he'd go crazy for it even though its kinda cheesy. also he's randomly into stuff like aphex twin too.

I feel compelled to make him listen to the music i like but i know that that's wishful thinking. he's a dork that's why i like him. i might have to compound on this later when my brain works better (it takes me several weeks to form a single creative thought)

I haven't listened to any shane spotify playlists maybe i should... i do have my own playlist of songs that REMIND me of him but not necessarily stuff i think he'd listen to. I'm too embarrassed to post this 😈

[swanimagines]

shit! i just sent an aski for g13 with either kaz or pin but i meant G3!! oml im so sorry! its G3<3

Echo is talking about this ask, I deleted the wrong one: "as i said, im here to spam<;33

can i pwease have G13 from your affection prompt list with either Pin or Kaz?

like the image their forehead against mine is just-

UGH-

i'll stop weirding you out now😅love you<;3"

FREDDY EVENT, send in requests for any of Freddy Carter's characters!! (Other requests are open too, but they go to my normal to-do list which I'm not able to start doing til March at earliest)

Going with Pin since I'm not comfortable with prompts like this with Kaz because of his haphephobia.

Also for some reason I really like writing stuff where Y/N is supportive of Pin when he rides for Holloway.

G3. Leaning your forehead against theirs

Word count: 520

"Y/N!" Mia's voice echoed through the stables and you flinched at her voice, carefully poking your head out from the tack room. "Are you blind, stupid or lazy?"

"What is it again?" you sighed.

"Firefly's stable doesn't look like it's been even looked over at all, I told you it has to be cleaned by noon and it's already an hour late." she crossed her arms and glared down at you.

You frowned, Mia had told you to clean it by 6pm earlier that morning. "You told me that-"

"No," Mia smirked slightly. "I didn't."

"Why are you always so mean to me?" you asked, feeling tears coming up in your eyes. "You've been ordering me around for days, barely letting me to have a good night's sleep, and I haven't done anything to you to deserve this. I can't take it anymore."

"Yes, you have. You didn't stop your boyfriend when he betrayed our trust and began riding for Holloway," Mia scoffed and rolled her eyes. "So, now you're here and working our loss off."

You took in a deep sigh, turning away and making your way to Jewel's stable.

"What are you doing? You still have work to do," Mia called out to you.

You turned back around, sending her a glare as you unlocked the stable door and soon you were on Jewel's back, riding towards Holloway.

---

Pin spotted you pretty soon after you had entered the gates, walking up to you when you dismounted Jewel. He frowned upon seeing you, you must have looked horrible.

"What happened?" he asked, frowning and putting his hand on your cheek. You leaned against his hand, putting your own hand over it, relishing its warmth. You already felt so much more comforted.

"Mia. She- she said that- we got into a bad fight," you said in a quiet voice. "She blames me for you leaving and makes me work my arse off, I can't take it anymore."

You saw Pin clenching his jaw slightly. "It's fine, I'll be with you tonight," he then said softly. "Just come over to stay here, I'm sure people here at Holloway won't mind if you spend the night here."

You smiled at him, letting him lead you to the stables to give Jewel a place to stay too. The stables at Holloway were big and fancy compared to Bright Fields, you could tell how well they were taking care of their horses. You led Jewel to one of the empty stalls and shut the door after giving her a kiss.

Pin took a hold of your face after you turned around to him, pressing a brief kiss to your lips. When your lips parted, he rested his forehead against yours, his thumb tracing your cheek as another tear slipped out of your eye.

"We'll figure this out. I promise." he muttered and you nodded, letting yourself relax in his arms, your foreheads pressed together as Jewel let out a knowing sigh and you grinned at it, as did Pin too.

You felt so much better, Pin knew how to make it all better.

Pin tags for the Freddy event: @scandalous-chaos @brekkers-desigirl

[iron-sides]

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

multifandom

super into lifesteal and the realm smp as of late !!!

mains: hannah, bacon, zam for ls; pangi, zam, pili for tr ! (i am a derapchu hater so like bewarned. he annoys me BAD)

I YUMESHIP WITH HANNAHXXROSE ! i dont talk about it a tonnnn bc idrk what im doing but if u dont like selfshipping um. fuck off? idk. explicitly/overtly yume stuff is tagged #yume but all hannahposting is tagged #gf for blocking and so i can find it

you will also sometimes see: aftg, trc, mdzs, pjo, dsmp, hc, 3L, dc comics. probably others im forgetting.

when i say problematic milf defender i mean all women and i take it serious ‼️

i dont tag triggers

prns: it/its, he/she, nov/nova, sol/sun, pet/petal, sprout/sprouts, bug/bugs, star/stars. do not use they/them for me & if you use my neos i love you. feel free to ask questions abt my prns!

i have a full-time job. pro/anti discourse is dumb the closest thing i have to a stance is that im anti-censorship always so i think that makes me a proshipper idk irdgaf

rpf is cool and awesome; so is selfshipping 👍🏻

culturally catholic, religiously pagan and i LOVE to yap about that feel free to ask questions

writing masterpost

if i unfollow you its not personal and i did not check your pinned, bio, or carrd-- whatever you post just isnt smth im still interested in. i dont softblock anyone ever its too much work + im too lazy

tagging system & sideblogs under the cut ‼️

most of these are for my convenience

#pinned post -> what it says on the tin (in case i pin smth else for a bit and need to find this lol) #blog upkeep -> blog upkeep #my thots -> posts where im op #my fic -> my fic #cows -> cows #loveposting -> posts about the foundational goodness joy and beauty of the world #tumblr folklore -> well known tumblr stories (the god of arepo, stabby the roomba, et al) #negativity -> more serious posts that are kind of downers. usually but not always personal posts #haterism -> me being a little hater abt shit that is literally not a big deal i just personally do not like it. the difference btwn this and negativity is haterism is usually fandom drama or fan opinions where like it Does Not Matter and negativity is more irl or political stuff #doomerism -> sometimes i get sad about the state of the lifesteal smp (usually because things are going poorly for hannah). if im getting mean itll be tagged haterism, but if im just sad itll be doomerism :) #yume -> any post including yume/selfshipping stuff in text or in tags, unless the only mention is the tag-- #gf -> my hannah catchall.... if the post is just me hannahposting it should be tagged gf #wulfwynn -> things that are wulfwynn from my brain coded #eadmund -> things that are eadmund from my brain coded #leofflaed -> things that are leofflaed from my brain coded #king and lionheart -> things that make me think of my ocverse.... #bee liveblogs! -> my liveblog tag. the tag immediately following it will be the tag for the specific thing im liveblogging (#🛸 -> catchall for my x files liveblogs. not tagged here but in my featured tags.) (#💥 -> catchall for my comics liveblogs. not tagged here but in my featured tags) (#🐝 -> catchall for my posts where i'm talking about myself. not tagged here but in my featured tags) (#📺 -> lazy catchall for talking about tv/movies. sometimes on liveblogs but not always idk if im going to keep using it lmao. not tagged here or in featured tags) quick rundown of how my stream lb tags work-- #name MM.DD.YY. -> this is my catchall for almost everything (example: #pangi 01.31.25) -for lifesteal (and sometimes big lore days on the realm) im a chronic chathopper so i do it a little different -> #ls MMDDYY / #tr MMDDYY -> the tag for everything on that server im lbing that day (example: #ls 060725) -> pov name -> denotes pov (example: #pov hannah) -> i use #lifesteal spoilers both as the spoiler tag and to collect my ls liveblogs for organization. for the realm i use #trsmp

mutuals tags (i make tags as i have posts to tag with them so this is in no way indicative of how well ik ppl or how close we are lol)

#AXE HI -> axe axylotal

#eddie :] -> ed thenerdkingqueen

#oh oh pheliaaa -> ophelia knightpilled

#freshly toasted scar -> toast aroaceascension

#sparks? nevada is on fire -> sparksnevada

#framing ur MOM -> framezone

#insert toby fox joke here -> toby phantoids

sideblogs:

@astertheworld kpop blog

@caths-collection pretty stuff, aesthetics-- i use it for webweaves a lot

@yu-ziyuan danmei

[zmayadw]

I posted 312 times in 2021

139 posts created (45%)

173 posts reblogged (55%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.2 posts.

I added 594 tags in 2021

#duskwood - 155 posts

#duskwood everbyte - 82 posts

#duskwood jake - 68 posts

#duskwood mc - 58 posts

#duskwood fanfiction - 52 posts

#duskwood jake x mc - 46 posts

#duskwood fanart - 40 posts

#zmaya answer - 39 posts

#ask/answer - 29 posts

#duskwood fanfic - 25 posts

Longest Tag: 60 characters

#im late with this but still reblogging because its amazing💚

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Always and Forever

Duskwood Oneshot

Characters: Jake & Fem!MC

Genre: Fluff/Romance/Little angst(?)

Words: 1080k

A/N: Hello my lovelies 😊 So, uhm, I don't know where this came from, but it just popped to my mind 😁 And please excuse any mistakes, as I am currently in 'vacation mode', and posting for the first time from my phone, so I'm lazy to re-check it properly 🤭 Anyways, hope youu will like it! Much love to all 🥰💞

The scent of freshly made coffee filled the air of the bedroom, eliciting a smile on his face. He got out of bed, and with sleepy steps left the room, muffled sounds of music becoming more clear as he neared the kitchen. Slowly pushing the doors open, he smiles once again at the sight in front of him.

She was with her back to him, her whole body moving in unison with the rhythm of the music coming from a little radio perched in the kitchen counter, at the same time expertly turning the pancakes in the air, catching them back on the pan with such ease. She had one of his shirts on, as always, that swayed loosely around her, revealing just a tiny bit of her panties as she moved, but it was more than enough to make his heart start to beat a little faster. The music changed to a slower tune, her movements adjusting to the new rhythm in a heartbeat. Suddenly, she got spun around, little surprised yelp escaping her throat. Jake’s arms came around her firmly, jet softly at the same time, pulling her close to him, now both swaying to the slow rhythm of the music. “Good morning.” she says with a chuckle, her hands going around his neck. “Someone’s in a good mood this morning.” Now he chuckles “Well, after yesterday, can you blame me?” His grip tightens around her, lowering his lips softly on hers at first, turning the kiss deeper and lustful as she pulled him even closer, until both parted with heavy breaths. Resting his forehead on hers, he looks deep into her eyes and smile “My wife.” His words hummed sweetly to her ears and she thoughtfully turned her gaze to her hand, a new ring now situated delicately on her finger. She didn’t notice they stopped moving, his worried voice pulling her back from her thoughts. “Do you regret it?” She looks back at him. His smiling face she stared at just moments ago turned to panicked one, his eyes observing her with so much worry and sadness in them, making her heart squeeze instantly for even making such a thought to cross his mind. Gently cupping his face in her hands she smiles “My love, don’t let such a gloomy thought occupies your mind ever again. I never regretted any decision I made concerning you, nor I ever will.” Her smile widens before she continues “You were, no, you ARE the best thing that ever happened to me, and I can no longer imagine my life without you in it. Your loving face is the last thing I wish to see before sleep takes over me, and the first thing when I wake up. Your strong and gentle hands are the only ones I want to hold me, your embrace being the only place I feel safe enough from all the bad that might come at me. And the taste of your sweet lips are the only one I desire to feel on mine for as long as there is any breath left in me. So, no, my love, I don’t regret anything, and if I ever again make you feel like that, just remember these words of mine, and rest assured your heart can be still.”

He just stared at her speechless, her words slowly carving themselves deep in his mind and heart, invoking in him the feelings he never knew existed. She slowly lowered her hands, her eyes worryingly searching his face for any sign of understanding on it. No longer managing to stand the awkward silence between them, she started softly “Jake, are you all ri...” But she didn’t finish it. He pulled her to him, kissing her so fiercely and passionately, if his hands weren’t holding her she would melt onto the floor from it. The wetness suddenly felt on her cheeks, she realized didn’t cone from her. They parted, his eyes glazing from tears. “I love you.” he breathed out softly. “I...” he started and sighed desperately after a short pause. “You know I’m not good with words, and I will never be able to express my feelings for you so eloquently as you do. And even if I wish I could, all I can say is I love you, more than you can imagine. And I hope that is enough for you.”

Now her eyes threatened to release a waterfall of tears, so she quickly wiped at them with her hands. “Look at us, starting our first days as a married couple bawling like a little kids.” she said through a laugh, getting a laugh out of him, too. “I don’t care if we cry or laugh.” he says, as they continue to sway slowly again, not really noticing the change of pace of the music heard from a radio. “As long as we do it together.” She smiles softly at him “Always and forever.”

The kiss they shared then was more meaningful than any words could ever be used to describe the depths of their feelings for each other, the kind of kiss that joins two souls into one, binding the together for eternity.

“But, you do realize we won’t be able to keep this to ourselves for much longer.” She leans her forehead back to his again. “Both Jessy and Hannah already sent me bunch of messages, asking if we got back from our vacation, and when will we meet.” “I know” he sighs “I got similar messages from both of my sisters.”

A mischievous smile starts to form on his lips then, making her rise her eyebrow at him. “Why do I have a feeling some devious idea popped to your mind?” He grins “Well, if I am not mistaken, as a newlywed, we are entitled to some honeymoon time.” He lifts her in his arms, her giggles echoing through the kitchen above the music. “I’m sure our friends can survive a few more days without us.” Her grin matched his “You know, I like the way you think. And besides, we could use a few more days to ourselves, before they all jump at us with endless questions and demands of explanations.” “Don’t worry, love” he says, slowly carrying her towards the kitchen doors “We will deal with it together.” She smiles at him, then burry her head in his shoulder, repeating her words from before in a soft whisper to his ear “Always and forever.”

77 notes • Posted 2021-08-13 14:09:19 GMT

#4

Beautiful Dream

Duskwood Oneshot

Pairing/Character: Jake x MC (+ Jessy for the need of the story plot)

Genre: Mix of angst/fluff/humor

Words: 3,6k

Warning: contains some swearing

Summary: Hannah was found, your friends wer safe, and life was slowly getting back to normal. So after two months, you wer on a train to Duskwood, to meet them all. And to finaly be with Jake .That was your biggest dream. But, can a dream come true? And if so, can that beautiful dream last, defying the crawling tentacles of a lurking nightmare...

A/N: Originaly, this was planned to be posted in 2 parts, but at the end it just didn't feel right to me. Anyway, I hope you will like it :)

Stepping off the train, you smile at the sight of a big sign hanging above the doors leading out from the station, swinging slightly on a warm summer breeze. 'Welcome to Duskwood – enjoy your stay!'Oh, I definitely will - you think to yourself, winking at the sign before passing under it on your way out. Outside, you take a taxi to the motel. Gazing through the window on the ride, you think back to one of the manny coversations you had with Jake after Hannah was back. He told you he will stay in Duskwood for a while, and you wern't expecting it for sure. For him, staying in one place for longer then a week or two was unusual. But you didn't care, you wer glad he did, and when you told him you wer coming he was genuinely happy at hearing it. Even though you couldn't shake the feeling that you heard a hint of sadness in his voice when you did. But that feeling quickly perished from you, overpowered by the feeling of excitement.

Once at the motel, you shower before heading out in search of some food. The streets leading from the motel wer narrow, and not much traffic was present. The occasional passerbys tried to hide their curious looks at you, wich made you think Duskwood for sure doesn't get much visitors. You soon found a burger place, and getting some food you reluclantly head back towards the motel. You wer eager to go and explore the town, but you didn't want to ruin the grand tour Jessy planned for you.

Sprawled on the bed enjoying you burger, you put some movie on to pass the time. As you take a big bite your phone rings. With a mouthful you answer it „'Elo?“ „Uhm, Mc? Is that you?“ Jessy's insecur voice sounds from the other side. You swallow the big chunk of not enough chewed food, wich makes you see the stars infront of your eyes. Wincing and shaking, you clear your throath „Hi, Jessy!“ you say cheerful „Sorry about that, I'm eating at the moment.“ She laughs „No worries. I won't bother you for long then.“ „It's fine, what's up?“ you ask. „ I just left from work so wanted to check if you arrived safely.“ „Yup, everything is fine. I'm just chilling at the motel.“ „Good, good, you just rest, I doubt anyone will let you leave the Aurora early tonight.“ Now you laugh „Oh, don't worry, I'm ready for some serious partying.“ „Excellent!“ she chimes cheerful „I'll pick you up arround 9pm. See you soon, then!“ „Can't wait!“ you say equaly cheerful. Ending the call, excitement for tonight kicks at you at the fullest, and you grin knowign it's gonna be an amazing night.

-------------------------------------------------------------

As Jessy and you enter the Aurora, cheers and squeeks echoes through the place. Hugs followed from everyone, and soon you find yourself standing in front of Jake. „Hi!“ you manage nervously, his deep blue eyes looking intensly at you. „Hello,Mc.“ He says back, looking equaly nervous as you. Not knowing what more to say, you quickly hug him. You felt him tens, but suddenly his hands are arround you, his body relaxing. You smile and tighten your hug, then whisper to his ear „I'm so happy to fianly do this.“ You feel him smile „Me too, Mc, me too.“ His warm breath on your neck sends tingles to your whole body, and you wish for the hug to never end. Reluctantly, you slowly let go and look back at him, and the smile he gives you makes you smile back even more. He was about to say something when Dan shows up and hands you both a glass of whiskey. „Al right, people, let's get this party started!“ he cheers rising his glass. „To us all!“ He toasts and you all join in. You sneak a sideway look at Jake as you take a sip of your drink, and are met with his intens gaze again, making your cheeks flush. „MC, come here!“ Jessy puls you by the arm to join her and Cleo, and that was just the beginning of it. For the rest of the night, you wer bounced from one to another of your friends, and as much as you wanted to talk with Jake some more, you couldn't denie you wer having fun. And besides, it's not like he's going anywehere. Right?

Party at the Aurora went on till late hours, when Phil finaly managed to make us leave, but not without lots of protest sent his way from our happy group. So when your phone rang in the morning – or closer to noon – and Jessy's cheerful voice sounded in your ear, your enthusiasm for sightseeing from the day before was nowhere to be found. And somehow, after much protest from Jessy, you manage to convince her to postopne your tour for tomorrow. You wer more then glad for it, you wanted nothing more then to curl back to bed and sleep.

After some more sleep you felt a bit more rested. And starving. So you order pizza, and go for a quick shower as you wait. You step out of the bathroom rubbing the towel on your wet hair when a knock at the door comes. Quickly throwing the towel through the bathroom doors, you grab some money from your purse and open the door. To your surprise, you end up staring at the familiar blue eyes. „Uhm.. hi.“ Jake says to you a bit fidgety. „Did I, uhm, catch you at a bad time?“ „No, no, you didn't.“ You say quickly and smile. „I'm glad you came.“ You wait for him to say something back, but he just continues to look at you. Your smile slowly vanishes from your face. „Is everything ok?“ you ask worriedly. „Well, to be...“ He starts but gets interrupted by a pizza guy. You get happy at the sight of him, so paying and thanking the guy you grin at Jake. „Come, join me.“ You say happily taking the pizza to the table inside. „Mc, I don't think thats a good idea.“ You turn back to him „What, eating pizza is a bad idea?“ you aks teasingly, but the look on his face made you feel uneasy. „No..I mean..I didn't mean it that way.“ He sighs „Thats not why I came.“ „Then tell me, why did you come?“ you ask walking back to the doors. His mouth opens, but no words come out. „Jake, what's going on?“ you ask now even more worried and confused. „You are acting really weird.“ He shakes his head and sighs „I knew this was a bad idea.“ „Jake, please, you're scaring me.“ And he was. You wer completly clueless at what was going on with him. „Please“ you say softly, resting your palm on his cheek „Talk to me. You know you can talk to me about anything.“ He takes a deep breath, his eyes looking so sad. „You are so beautiful.“ He suddenly says after the silence that seemed to last for hours. Even though his words make you blush, you shake your head in confusion lowering your hand „That's why you came? To tell me that?“ „No“ He says with a laugh „But seeing you now, I forgot what I wanted to say.“ He looks at you intensly again „But I am quite sure I know what I want to do now.“ „Are you sure?“ you ask sceptical „Since you showed up, you seem pretty hesitant to me.“ „Oh, I'm sure.“ He says and grins mischievous. Unexpectedly, he pulls you to him and a small yelp escape you. In a heartbeat, his lips wer on yours, your hands with a mind of their own instantly going around his neck . He pulls you even closer, deepening the kiss with such force, that the sensation of it will stay imprinted deep in your mind forever. You move from him gasping for air „That was pretty non hesitant for sure.“ „Ah, but that's not even the beginning of it yet.“ He lifts you up in his arms carrying you inside and kicking the doors shut with his foot. What followed next was a dream come true. The emotions that wer gathering in both of you all this time exploded. All the longing and waiting to finaly be together just intensified the lust. He explored every part of you, his soft lips on your skin made your head spin. Your body arched under his, with every move, every touch and kiss craving for more. The sounds of pleasure that escaped from your mouth wer unknown to you. You wer in complete ecstasy. It went on through the night, desire for more intensifying in you both with each new time. And it continued on through the next morning, until the tiniest atom of strength haven't left your bodies, blissful sleep embracing you instantly.

The sweet pain coursing through your body woke you with a smile and the images of last night flash before your eyes. You slowly turn your head, to be met with the vacant space, a folded piece of paper resting on the pillow next to you. Wincing, you adjust your pillow at the head of the bed and take the paper. Unfolding it, you smile wide to the first words you see written on it. But as you continue to read, the emotions in you change abruptly. Disbelief. Anger. Sadness. By the time you finished, tears uncontrollably ran down your face. Clenching the paper you run to the bathroom, feeling sick in your stomach. The sobs made it hard for you to breath, so you splash some cold water to your face in hope for it to help. How...what..why..so manny questions ran through your mind at the same time. What happened? How is it possible? That in the blink of the eye, the most beautiful dream turns into worst nightmare...

----------------------------------

„Here, drink this.“ Jessy hands you a glass of water. You drink it before setting the glass with a shaky hand to the table. The sobs stopped long ago, but the tears just kept coming. How manny tears can a pearson cry out you wonder, taking the fifth tissue from the box since you got here, not even ten minutes ago.“What happened, MC?“ Jessy asks sounding so worried. You still clenched the cursed paper tightly in your hand. „Here, read it.“ You hand it to her and she starts reading.

My dearest MC

I cannot describe with words the aching I feel in my heart as I write this. You sleep so soundly and peaceful next to me,your breathing calm and steady. Your hair scattered messy on the pillow, and the small smile that keeps coming to the corner of your mouth..this is the image I want to burn deep into my mind. And it is just one of the manny of you I'm taking with me.

When all of this started, we wer just two complete strangers. And now I feel you wer the one I was waiting for my entire life. You wer that one missing piece making my life whole again, the reason I felt alive again. You became my whole world.

From the moment we first talked, you putted your undoubted trust in me even when it seemed you shouldn't, and you saw the goodness in me long before anyone else. Your words lifted my spirit up more times then you can imagine. And just knowing you existed, somewhere, breathing the same air as me, gazing at the same stars – I felt more alive then ever.

I dreamed of the day I will finaly take you into my arms and hold you close. To get lost in those curious eyes of yours, feel your warm touch on my skin. To savour the sweet taste of your lips. And now that finally happened, the dream came true.

But that is all that it was – a dream. And what a beautiful dream it was. It is time I wake up from that dream and face with reality.

I am still a wanted person, and I already putted you, and everyone else, in too much danger by staying this long in Duskwood. And as much as I don't want to leave, you especially, it would be selfish of me to stay. With it, you all have a chance for a normal life again. And mine is anything but normal. So me leaving is the only way. The right way.

I cannot tell you how sorry I am for saying my goodbyes through a letter, so call me selfish again. Because I could not stand to see tears in your eyes, or hear you plead for me to stay. No, I want to remember you with a smile. I want to always keep that image of you in my mind and my heart.

Lastly, I want to thank you for everything – for all the talks we shared, for sticking with me till the end of this all, for always being there when I needed you. I thank you for being the voice of reason so manny times, keeping my madness at bay when I couldn't. I thank you for not being judgemental when everyone else was, for defending me in times of need. Thank you for every laugh and every tear you shared with me..just thank you for being the way you are.

And I thank you for last night. Spending it with you was even more amazing then I could have ever imagined in my wildest thoughts. It was a dream come true – a dream that I am sure will haunt me forever.

You can hate me now, call me names, curse the day you met me..what ever you need to do to keep you going. And I wish you to succeed in it. I hope that the aching at your heart lasts as short as possible. I hope, that soon, I will be nothing more then a distant memory, slowly fading to oblivion...

You look at her folding the paper and lowering it on the table. Her face showed nothing to you, not a trace of any kind of emotion. That was definitely not the reaction you expected from her. „Aren't you gonna say something?“ you ask, and she looks completely blank at you. When she suddenly shot up from her chair in anger, you wer taken aback by it. „Is this a FUCKING joke?? Is he serious??“ She starts pacing back and forth, waving her arms in the air. „How could he do this? How dare he do this to you? Ohh, cursed men!“ she yells furiously. You continue to stare at her in amazement. „Uff, if he thinks he will get out of this so easy, he is dead wrong!“ She stops pacing and turns to you. „You can't let him do this, MC! You can't let him off the hook so easily!“ You blink confused „I'm sorry, but have we read a different letter you and I? He is fucking gone, Jessy! I can't do shit about it!“ „Oh, yes you can!“ she corrects you sitting back. „Then please, enlighten me, because I don't see how.“ You say sarcastically. She grins „It is Sunday, and we are in Duskwood after all.“ „What in the hell does that have to do with any of this?!“ you rais your voice exasperated. „Everything!“ she exclimes. „Don't roll your eyes at me, and listen!“ she scolds you. „Fine! I'm all ears!“ you say leaning in your chair, crossing your hands at your chest. „All righ.“ She starts. „So, again, it's Sunday evening in Duskwood. Everything is closed, right?“ she asks and you nood in agreement. „Ok. So, knowing our hackerboy, he definitely didn't leave over the day.“ Now she got your attention. „Ok, go on.“ You say. „Right. So, if nothing works, the car rental option is definitely off the table for him, right?“ You nod again. „Ok, lets move on. The busses don't leave from Duskwood on Sunday since forever, so we eliminate that, too.“ She grins at you again „Soooo, the only option he has is the train.“ You laugh „And that is good how? Should I somehow know wich of the manny trains he might be on? Or, worse, if he isn't gone with one already!“ She rolls her eyes „Oh shush it silly. Didn't you pay any attention to what I was saying so far?“ „Jessy! I swear to god, get to the point!“ „All right, all righ, geez.“ She tilts her head „As I said, it is Sunday. And my dear MC, let me tell you something. Trains leaving from Duskwood on Sunday are such a rare thing. So rare, that you have one early morning train, wich I'm sure he didnt get on.“ She looks at you raising her eyebrow. „And then you have the night train.“ Her words got your spirit up. Was it possible that he still didn't leave? That you could still try and stop him? Jessy continues „Wich leaves from Duskwood...“ she takes her phone typing quickly on it. Her eyes widen „Uh oh.“ „Uh oh? That's never good! “ You say panicky. „Well, lets just say it's gonna be a close one.“ „Huh?“ you say confused. „It means MOVE! I'll drive!“ she yells pulling you from your chair and ushering you towards the doors. „Jessy? How much time do we have?“ You ask feeling you won't like her answer. „Well..“ she says starting the car „If I drive like a maniac, we might make it.“ You look at her hopeful „Just don't get us killed. Now, drive!“

The squeeking of tires sounded loud. The way Jessy was driving was insane, you wer grateful that the streets wer empty. Your heart was beating fast and you had hope again. And she was right, you shouldnt let him get off the hook so easily. You wern't ready to let him leave, at least not without a fight. „Be ready to run!“ Jessy says, seconds later hitting the breaks. You rush from the car running at full speed, jumping over two-three steps at the time up to the station. The welcome sign squeeks as you burst through the doors, just in time to see a hooded figure about to enter the train. „Don't you dare get on that train!“ you yell, your voice echoes through the station. He stops on the doors, but doesn't turn. Panting from the run, you start walking towards him „Don't you dare leave like this, like I mean nothing to you!“ you yell again and this time he turns to face you. „Is that what you think? That you mean nothing to me?“ He says with hurt in his voice. „Your actions speak for themself, don't you think?“ you say venomous. „I'm leaving because you mean everything to me!“ he yells walking to you. „How can you not understand that?“ You stood face to face now. „Oh, I'm sorry that I cannot, for the love of it understand, how you can leave someone that is supposedly everything to you!“ „Do you think I made this decision lightly? It was the hardest and most painful thing I ever did in my life! God only knows I don't want to leave you, but I see no other way, MC!“ „There's always another way!“ „MC..“ he sighs and reaches for your hand. „No! I refuse to belive it.“ You can feel the tears swell behind your eyes again. „I trusted you, back then, when I knew nothing about you. There was some little voice inside my head assuring me it's ok to trust you. And it was not wrong.“ You look him straight in the eyes „I need you to trust me now, because that same voice is screaming at me now. I know we can find the way for this to work. But I cannot do it alone, Jake. I need you for it.“ Few tears escape from your eyes. „I'm not ready to wake up from this dream. So I need you to stay. Stay and fight with me, fight for us. Fight with me for the dream to last. Don't give up, please. Don't let the nightmare win.“ You could barely suppress the tears by now. You just hoped your words reached him, making him realize that he is not alone anymore. That your are and always will be here for him, to help with whatever troubles may come his way. You waited for him to say something, anything. Every heartbeat that passed diminished your hope for a positive outcome more and more. You lower your head, tears rolling down your face one after another. „How could I be such a fool.“ His words make you look at him. His eyes wer glazing, their blue color so intense. „What do you mean?“ you ask unsure of the meaning of his words. „I mean, that I'm the biggest idiot on this planet for even considering of leaving you.“ A tear escapes from his eye, your heart skipping a beat at the sight. „I know I don't deserve it, but can you ever forgive me for it?“ You lift your hand to his face wiping the tear with your thumb, then pull him to you for a gentle kiss. „My actions speak for themself.“ You say leaning your forehead to his. He smiles „You really are a dream come true.“ He embraces you in a tight hug, kissing you intensly this time, as the train starts to leave the station, taking with it the sense of a nightmare ever being close of destroying the most beautiful dream of them all.

78 notes • Posted 2021-06-12 00:52:14 GMT

#3

TOGETHER

Duskwood Oneshot

Pairing: Jake x MC

Genre: Angst

Summary: Jake's worried of MC's reaction towards him after what happened to Richy

Hello my lovely Duskwood-lovers people! :)

I had this though cooking in my mind since last night, so I wrote a little something. Ofcourse it's about episode 8, from the beginning of it actually, so if there are still people that haven't started with it, I would suggest to skip reading it.

Anyway, I hope you'll like it, and I wish you all to have a great day!

A/N: Ok, so this is basicly my interpretation of Jake's thoughts as we have our first conversation with him in episode 8.

The constant sound of incoming messages was distracting him. He didn't need to look at his screen to know what was happening. She was telling the group what happened to Richy. But he needed to focus, there was still so much more to do. And with each new discovery, they wer closer to finding out more about the MWTF. But he couldn't focus, his mind was a mess of thoughts. Thoughts about her. Honestly, at the beginning, he didn't care much about the others, only saw them as a means to find Hannah. But she made him start to care more about them. He was always the logical one. Trust noone but yourself – the moto he lived by day after day. Untill she came into his life. Everything changed then. Her emotions wer extraordinary, she was amazing. He trusted her completely. And he was drawn to her more and more with each passing day, it was agonizing. She stirred something in him that was long forgotten. She made him feel alive again. She made him feel. He craved for her closeness, for her touch. He wanted so badly to take her into his arms and hold her close. No words, just to hold her. To feel her.

He got up from his chair, pacing nervously, as the sound of messages continued to echo through his room. He needed to focus on the case, on finding Hannah. But he couldn't. She needed him. And he needed her. And he was afraid. Would she want to talk to him? After what happened to Richy? From the beginning he assured her that the MWTF is only trying to scare her, that nothing serious would happen to any ot them. And now this. How can she trust him after this? He stopped pacing, as the room fell quiet suddenly. The messages stopped. He sat back at his computer, quickly reading through the group chat. His heart ached seeing her messages. He took a deep breath opening the chat with her. His hands wer shaking as he started writing.

Jake: Hello MC

MC: Something terrible happened to Richy!

Jake: I've read up on everything.

I am sorry about what happened.

Richy was your friend.

Would you like to talk about it?

MC: I'd love to

He released his breath at her message, not noticing he was holding it. At least she is talking to him. She started telling him how awful it was, seeing her friend like that, how helpless she felt. He could notice she was afraid, how much it hurt her to talk about it. And it pained him so much she was feeling like that.

Jake: I am here, MC

MC: Why can't you take me into your arms?

He stared at the message, the sound of his accellerating heartbeats echoing in his ears. If only she knew how much he wanted to do that.

MC: Why can't you look me in the eyes?

And tell me that everything will be fine?

Jake: I wish I could.

I'm sorry.

And he was sorry - sorry she felt this way, sorry that he couldn't be there for her. Sorry for everything.

MC: It's our fault, you know?

Yours and mine

He cursed, anger at himself intensifying as her messages continued. She was feeling guilty for what happened, and angry. And he was the reason for it.

Jake: You are angry.

I understand that.

MC: You don't understand it...

Have you ever watched a friend fight for their life?

She was right, he didn't understand. He wish he did, he wanted to share her pain, to make it easier for her. But he couldn't.

Jake: There's nothing I can do but to tell you that I am sincerely sorry for your loss.

But we have no other choice but to carry on.

Giving up is a luxury we cannot afford right now,

considering waht is at stake for us.

He stared at the screen, dreading her answer. She was angry at him, and she had every right to be. But he hoped she can put that anger aside. He hated himself for it, for putting her friends in constant danger, for making her go through all this. But he couldn't continue alone. He needed her.

MC: And why not?

Because you keep telling me?

He deserved that. He could feel the accusatory tone of her words, even if they wer only written. But she didn't know. And how could she, when he didnt want to admit it to himself most of the time. But he couldn't avoid it any longer. He needed to be honest with her. She needed to know how he feels.

Jake: I want to be honest with you.

I've thought of stopping everything, too.

Because I worry so much about you that it's crushing me.

And he did think about it, a lot. He wanted to stop all off this so manny times, to take her hand and run with her far away from it all. Just leave it all to the police. He was worried that something would happen to her. And that he wouldnt be ablet to stop it. He shuddered at the thought of it. But he knew it was just a pointless thought. No matter where they might run, this would catch up with them eventualy. The MWTF stepped up his game, so it was time he does the same. But he needed her for that. He depended on her so much. He needed her to understand that, that they cannot stop, they can't just give up. Not now, when they wer so close. He was sure that they would find Hannah, and now even Richy, soon. But only together, like they did from the beginning.

His hands wer shaking even more as he continued to write, fearing his words won't mean anything to her at this point.

Jake: All we can do is to not lose sight of our path.

Even if this path seemes endless and insurmountable at times.

But I still ask you to go to the end of it with me.

He waited for her to respond. His palms wer sweating terribly, his heart beating so fast and loud, it was deafening. It seemed to him hours passed before her message finaly appeared on his screen.

MC: I will.

Relieved at seeing her words, he couldn't but smile. Even after everything, she was still ready to go through with him at whatever was up next. He knew then that they will make it, that everything will end up all right. Just as long as they continue as always. Together.

108 notes • Posted 2021-06-01 11:59:59 GMT

#2

I know which way I would choose 😂😂

Picture doesn't belong to me, saw it on FB!

118 notes • Posted 2021-07-07 21:28:45 GMT

#1

😂😂

!!picture is not mine!!

281 notes • Posted 2021-07-23 09:16:26 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[cuntess-carmilla]

hey i've been considering lately (well, it was something that entered my consciousness years ago but im once again thinking about it more seriously) if i have some form of fatigue syndrome. i cant really gauge whether im in pain, and i was just thinking if you or anyone who follows you has any resources for seeking out information about mild forms of fatigue and what symptoms could come with it? so i could try and keep some track of things that are reoccurring in people so that i'll know if its worth taking up with a doctor, or if im just mixing up mental health symptoms with physical health (things that make me most set in at least considering this option is that since i was teen, i get dizzy from cleaning (bending over repeatedly), have to have rest days, sometimes i get really feverish and feel like ive got a flu and have a weird heartbeat feeling when ive had an active day etc.). i know this is long and if you dont have the energy to reply, please dont feel obligated! i just dont really know where to find sources especially because the ones ive found in general are about severe CFS and i'm not disabled to that extent. thank you for reading, i hope youre having a good day

Babe, with the dizziness at bending over, the fatigue and the palpitations you're describing, I'd really look into POTS. That's classic POTS symptoms. I have a tag for it here.

That said, speaking more broadly regarding fatigue, the truth is it's hard to define specific symptoms of fatigue because chronic fatigue presents in nearly every chronic illness and, besides the generalized "vibe" of what fatigue is applying to all of them, since the fatigue comes from different sources, the symptoms related to the fatigue being experienced will vary not only from condition to condition, but from person to person.

What I think applies in at least most cases is:

If you have any trace of chronic pain in general, the pain will get worse during fatigue flares.

You'll probably get brain fog (a state of confusion, forgetfulness, difficulty processing new information, finding words, and articulating thoughts, mental lethargy/being mentally slower, difficulty concentrating, difficulty completing tasks, etc).

Tasks that leave others without any noticeable dent in their energy reserves leave you running on fumes. Sometimes, on top of that, things that energize others don't help you or leave you worse (such as taking a shower).

You do want to do much more and be more active but you can't bring yourself to physically do more and people will likely perceive you as "lazy" for it, maybe you'll perceive yourself the same way.

No sleep seems to be enough but also you wake up just as exhausted as you were before going to bed if not more.

[uygmoeb]

omg no worries for answering this late and you want to know why? BECUASE I CAN SAY I AM YOUR MOA SECRET SANTA :D so perfect timing if i do say so myself hehe (and yes i am replying back to your ask because tis be the right thing to do!)

sadly still am sick :c my throat hurts a bit more but nothing too bad! though i am feeling a tiny headache? as i am typing this so i am going to let my laptop charge because i went to post my gifts for you and the other people and then i am heading off! i hope YOU'RE not sick omg please don't be sick like me!

of course, of course *hugs you* whatever you choose to do, i am here to support ya! i am always happy to be of help as well (granted i mainly know photopea but i am here for help!) remember don't force yourself into creating, it should be fun! i can see why it may seem alot and it feels less fun when you think "oh i MUST make this on time" (something i feel at times when i make content a bit late, like i only just fully finished my frost mv set way after it's been released so i'm late to the game) but i realized no, i shouldn't worry about it being a race, i want to have fun making things ya know? so i simply post when i feel creative which i do sometimes feel lazy nd that is fine! oh yeah those that post like so constantly, you are all wizards and i have respect! but also teach me your ways lowkey xD

lolol tumblr is sometimes weird but at the same time, we all have a soft spot for it and will continue to stay. it's like that titanic meme, we are staying on till the end lbr

but ooh some of my fav songs from lights are heavy rope (my comfort song personally), muscle memory, toes, saviour, ice, banner, timing is everything, portal, lost girls and so many more. from leebada i love red rose, night dream, high, fox, diana, running back just to name a few! i hope to see your creations eepp i am sure they are amazing and i hope this sends!

OMG HI MY LOVE!! i saw ur gift and i love it so so much!! and looking thru ur other gifs/gfx im in love u make such pretty stuff <3 im v happy that u were my moa secret santa and i had a fun time talking to u over this month <333

oh no im not sick, just really tired and ready to rest now after finishing all my gifts, the only one i have left to post is for this event too ! but oof i hope ur head will start to feel better and that u can get better quickly :(

but thank u for the support and offer for help!! who knows, maybe one day i'll need it if i do decide to try it <3 oh yeah i have to step back if i start thinking about it that way now, even if it's just a little bit but a big part of it has been me realizing it should be fun for me and thats been so important so i dont lose my want to work on stuff but i still go thru months were i just dont have it in me which i lowkey hate :/ even tho yeah its okay i still would rather work on things i guess

HSLFJL and now with the tags thing thats happening?? please get ur stuff together tumblr lmao

oh ok ok i'll make sure to listen to those ones! i've started heavy rope and i like that one so far <3 and do u have a name i can call u love?

[lilikags]

OMG THAT. the nazusmau... its still in my drafts. the chapters are so funny.

im not done yet. i havent workedon it in forever... but someday,,

<- has to finish the kasa series i started,,, it might be 20k words in total its taking a while

i'm going for a minimum 1.5k words per chapter,, ch 1 ended up being 2k so idk !!!! idk how its gonna go NGL HAHHA

aofjdsf yeah i look sm like a genshin blog even tho multifandom?? probably because i have some genshin moots and been only writing genshin lately (i end up creating new blogs for everything else,,)

ehe id never heard of enstars before my friend dragged me into this hellhole props to him

AOFDJOSFJDFSFS understandable the fandom has had lots of really bad times luckily its calmer here than the bird app

CHILDE,, childe. actually i should not be too surprised. yeah. makes sense. OAJFOSDJ I NEVER KNOW HOW TO WRITE AJAX (somehow i call this guy ajax as if im close to him) i just go with it... i hear a lot from my childe stan friends

OUAHHH THANKIE 1k was a lot to me when i was a smol blog but now like. damn its that i have some friends now and i forget about what the 1k people see

oh my gosh that reminds me i have writing blogs for: [main], enstars, tot, epic 7, honkai star rail, twst, mysmes, hq (new, nothing posted), mhyk..... and then i have manhwanello and ebullienxe for editing and a bunch of other misc blogs,,, this makes me realize that this is so much

AOFJAOFJSSDIF okay im huge on the aesthetics cuz then i'll get bored of it really fast if i dont give it my all and make myself proud of it, im more happy with how long my ayato theme lasted than how good it was HAHA as for my tags ive changed them a lot,,, oops,, i got lazy with my new blogs and they all follow the same format, but for this one i based it off of epic 7 (orbis is the world it takes place in, cidonia is a continent, heirs are what the players are called, celestine is an artifact,, using names and things haha) i love doing blog setup so i put a lot of thought into it but later i get lazy with it i remember like . not that many of my tags

ehehe,, im honored hehehe i was lonely so i started looking for friends,, im so glad i found everyone! nazupyon's wife eehehe makes so much happy,, i kiss him 😳

JOASJDFIAFJSDFS OMG YOU REMEMBER <333 new years resolutions its coming back to me, a little, iz , familiar aojofsfsfsdf

yah i have, so many blogs,,, like with this one reblog with another, or this one, idk,,

:0 TO ME YOU'RE THE COOL MUTUAL HELLO i thought your blog was super pretty and organized and everything and the content so good,,

HELP i still feel like smol blog somehow even tho im gonna reach 1k ?? whenever i do?? i dont post much genshin anymore its like a monthly thing now so my notes are. not high anymore HAHA i actually used to write for hq and epic 7 and then genshin at one point all 3 it was a mess you have a right to fear me for that i weather through all 3 of these insane fandoms

:000000000000 PLEASE I adore you and your blog like im going up for a hug rn its so snuggly and cozy

AHAH EVERYONE'S FIRST IMPRESSION OF ME IS THAT IM SERIOUS AND PROFESSIONAL its a little funny because im trying to be less serious and professional and nowadays i fear that i look like a robot uee

yes i remember me asking about what everyone had planned as their new years resolutions and you mentioned nazuna smau or something like that? it caught my attention dfgdfg i was also surprised that a "genshin blog" (omg it sounds so bad but you know what i mean) would be interested in enstars because as far as i knew it was. pretty niche. luckily i was wrong <33

i think i said this over at nyaitsu before but!! i almost ended up being a genshin blog. but i'm too traumatized and scared of the fandom to try so what i do think about, i keep it in my mind ehehe i do remember reading some of your stuff (surely childe. yes. i always read about the scrimblo) and thinking "wow. they're so cool and so pro and" yeah you get where this is going dfgdfg but omg 1k.... that is. that is a lot. like that's 1000 people that's a lot of people congrats!!

i get you on the fandom jumping part a bit too. i thought about genshin. i also thought about hypmic back when i was super into hypmic and i was looking for very specific content of my favs. mrmmm. tears of themis too.... at least 2 or 3 different otome games..... yes i think a lot but i never do a thing </3

and you ARE very professional. i think that seeing someone with a pretty theme and an aesthetic layout, who tags their stuff in a cool way and talks with a lot of people and does a lot of things-- somehow makes you think that that someone must be serious so they can deal with all of that at the same time? even when it's not the case www

now you're nazupyon's wife. rabbits protector. an actual sweetie that keeps everyone in enstarsblr (and everywhere she goes) happy and motivated and super excited. enstarsblr wouldn't be what it is now without you <3

[teddy-the-queer-wizard]

So I had this freak out about two hours ago. Everythings fine, I'm embarrassed about it but... I really DONT know what to do about this since its been happing for the last 6 years of my life. So yeah. Ignore but... Advice would be nice.

I was going to be late for work. I forgot to have priority on my phone instead of no interruptions and I slept hard enough that for once I didn't hear dad get up so when I wake up it was already 715 and its like a 15-18 min drive and I got dressed and left the house at like 730 and instead of being late to work, which we're just setting up the store itd not even like itd be like a big deal like covering breaks or busy hour cashiering or anything, I emailed the lady who hired me and said I was sick. She fowarded the message and its been two hours and im still freaking out about it and i dont work tommorrow so maybe theyll think i just wanted a four day weekend or was hungover or god knows what and its going to stab at me until ill be too scared to go to work wedness or even if i do ill still feel guilty and even if everything is fine this is still fucking happening and im going to loose my job again not because i dont want to work or because im a constant fuck up but because im a fucking coward when NOTHINGS wrong i just keep doing this shit and i dont know how to stop. Only i know things are not as big a deal as that itll be fine who gives a fuck right? So breathe start over its fine just do what you have to do if you really wanted to really needed to youd just do it so you must be lazy or not want to work but i swear i do i just cant always stop from feeling like this or bully past it im not making excuses i just dont want to do this again im so tired of loosing jobs because i freak over stupid small things and i dont want to be babied i just know what i need to do and dont do it and i hate it i cant even keep a fucking basic entry level job actions speak louder than words i just im such a fuck up -----------------*--------------- So yeah. That was my freak out. The thing is that... I have avpd - avoidant personality disorder with dependent and masochistic features - so I know some of its that but... I dont know how to deal with this? And. Even if I start going back to my shrink what the hell can she or anyone tell me. "I skipped work over something I KNOW is stupid" "well um dont do that? Lol" But uh. While sometimes I can just not... Eventually it happens where I will. And the more it happens the harder it is to not freak out because Ive ALREADY fucked up so I really can't afford to fuck up again... And yeah sometimes i can logic.my way through this is stupid and its all in my head but... Not always. Not even mostly. Its not enough. Anyone else got this issue or know what to do? Gonna tag this with a couple of things to see if anyones got an idea. No obligation or anything. Sorry to bug. Also Im FINE now. Sorry to worry.

[lostgreekgod]

Name: im alexandra :)

Fandoms: tv shows: atla, stranger things, the mentalist (still watching that one) loki, mcu basically, cobra kai, camp cretaceous (im serious stop laughing) books: the darkest minds, shatter me, percy jackson, (honestly theres a lot i cant remember rn)

zutara!!!!! my favoritest and first one!!!!

i also love sukka, taang, aged up tokka, mailee, tyzula (healthy azu)

kenji x brooklyn, sammy x yaz, darius x ben from camp cretaceous

el x max, mike x will from stranger things

demetri x eli, sam x miguel from cobra kai

Where do you post: i used to post on wattpad? but im too lazy and got tons of work? i was planning on a hero x villain wip, and by wip, wip.

Most popular multi chapter fic: well me and a friend are working on a collab, its called eternally yours- its our own work, weve got three chs rn, more to come

Favorite story you’ve written so far: tbh havent written anything yet. i had a book i started and went down 4 chs before giving up.

Fic you were nervous to post: ngl probably the hero x villain thing im working on

How do you choose your titles: if i had a fic ill think about it and let you know. for the eternally yours thing it was just on spot, and i had help with my co-writer.

Do you outline: probably? if by outline you mean fantasize, yes.

Complete: not yet bahahah

Do you accept prompts: sure hey who knows maybe that will motivate me to write

Upcoming story you’re most excited to write: ehh eternally yours. really. thats the only worthy thing im doing, all thanks to said friend.

Stories you’re most excited to read: i havent been reading anything lately (thanks STEM) but i do read one shots by @wellsayhelloaagin because I'm addicted to her and she makes me cry every day

Tagging: @wellsayhelloaagin (bc I'm curious ab what she has to say) @ink-and-narwhals and anyone who wanna do dis

‘author’ self interview

Tagged by @hawtnip 😎🥳

name: Kaytlyn. Katy or Kayty as a nickname. caandleknight as my handle on FF.N and Ao3

Fandoms: OOF. Professional at shipping the crash and burns 🤚.

- LoK, Makorra was the one that got me into fandom.

-tHG everthorne has my heart. Still hits different.

-T100 Bellarke was my obsession last year.

Lastly: clintasha (comics not really mcu), Riley/Ellie tlou. Royai from Fullmetal Alchemist, and Nalu from fairy tail.

Where do you post:

FanFiction.Net this is where I started. Posted my first everthorne on there. It was anxiety inducing.

Ao3 I bullied myself into figuring this site out lmaoo. Took some trial (learned through an email that RPF means real person fiction. I WAS NOT WRITING REAL PERSON FICTION SO WHOOPS. nearly half my stuff was taken down LOL.)

Most popular multi chapter fic: Soul of a ghost town this was the biggest thing I ever wrote—in terms of character, plot, and word count—and honestly, it gave me the confidence to believe I could write. Word counts used to haunt me. All it used to.

Favourite story you’ve written so far: Oh that’s hard.

Stories in limbo was my first attempt at multiple perspectives. A gen fic mostly but I love the motifs and flow.

Previously mentioned SoaGT^^ was my pride and joy for also previously mentioned reasons. I watched that story like a hawk, just waiting for feedback.

Panem sumebant: The ending. It came to me months after its original completion, and now, it’s so much better with the last chapter.

Idk if I’m allowed to pick more than one, but I’m proud of each of these for different reasons so-

So many times when I’m writing it starts so small… then grows and grows and doesn’t stop. SoaGT was like this—a five times this, one time that.

I have a 50k everthorne fic on the go rn that started out as a 500 word prompt. Wtf send help.

Fic you were nervous to post: My very first one, panem sumebant. The feedback I got from about three users is probably why I’m still writing. Thank you.

How do you choose your titles: often, i struggle so much with this. If I can’t find anything, look for metaphors or phrases/quotes/moments that really stick. A lyric. Maybe a language translation. I’ve never had a title drag me in. It’s almost always a struggle, and sometimes, much later, I hate said title 😭 but that’s okay. Helps me learn.

Do you outline: HA.

Quite amazing how organized I am. (These are digestible ones. The bigger they get the worse.)

Complete: often, I finish things before I post the. I’ve been that way from the start. All my Bellarke is complete (two are discontinued) All my Everthorne is complete… until suddenly I decide to add another chapter XD. Lonely Crowds, my Kanej, has the last chapter on the go but it will be finished. Idk my track record is pretty good I think.

Do you accept prompts: I’ve never been prompted, but lots I’ve made comes from discussion or picking my own prompts so I guess so.

Upcoming story you’re most excited to write: my OG work. Excited to finish lonely crowds, and I’m trying to finish these edits on everthorne but it’s kicking my ass.

stories you’re most excited to read: …everthorne. Young Royai😍 … Makorra… and the grishaverse fandom is just revving the engines so I’m really excited to watch this fandom grow. I’ve always been the person to walk into fandom after the explosions are simmering and the ship wars have devastated the masses so this will be fun.

Tagging: @rayhnetessamess , @theworldisbeautifulandcruel idkkkk too many writers 🥺🥺

Thanks Ellenka this took me forever but it was fun ❤️❤️