#I'm starting with non glue techniques

[iesnoth]

I have a new hobby! This is my first book binding attempt, and I'm really happy with it!

It's a sketchbook made of watercolor paper and chip board. Obviously I had to decorate it, so I used my favorite band, Steam Powered Giraffe, for inspiration.

[cosplayinamerica]

Susumu Kodai from Space Battleship Yamato Cosplayer: @the.yamato.boy Photo : @m_padron15

Funny enough at anime cons, not a lot of people recognize it as the Space Battleship Yamato, they usually just get hyped over seeing a massive ship at a con or war buffs notice the resemblance. Only a couple of people have recognized it. The ones that do though go nuts. The fanbase is fiercely loyal and even at Katsucon, the official Hotel Liason let me store the Yamato in his executive suite! Alas sadly barely anyone in my age group knows what Space Battleship Yamato is.

C2E2 was the first time I ever brought Yamato to a regular comic convention. The amount of people that recognized it there was actually comical. The cherry on top was that most people recognized it as the Argo or Intrepido.

What I'm most appreciative is that it's a way to bond the current generation of anime fans with the old and offers an opportunity to explore anime history.

Yamato started out as a binding point with my dad and I. He’s always been there for me but was a mystery at the same time. When I was like 2-3~ish my family still had an old Quasar TV with a built in VHS tape player. This was the kind of TV where you could feel your eyeballs melting out from the TV static. Anyway we had a singular VHS tape of Star Blazers- specifically the episodes where Argo uses the asteroid ring and then says goodbye to your families. As a certified Scooby-Doo fan, seeing #1 a cartoon with actual camera angles and cinema techniques was mind blowing to me and really stuck out, #2 there was a journey. The episodic countdown made me so mad because I knew I was only watching a piece of something bigger. My dad realized this and for my 5th birthday he bought me a full DVD set of all the episodes from Season 1. Afterward I drew little Yamato’s everywhere.

Eventually the spark that was Star Blazers would erupt into a burning flame that has become my love for Yamato. A couple of years ago my Grandpa was fighting with terminal lung cancer. We lived in America and he lived in South Korea so commute was tough and I didn’t get to see him all the time. During this time I was also getting bullied a lot and my mom thought it’d be good if I finished my elementary school years in Korea with my cousins so we moved there for a bit. I was a total fish out of water but a lot of my friends built Gunpla. I had no idea what a gundam was so I decided to research and went to Gundam Base Side 3 which is in Downtown Daegu. Remember the remake just came out at this time so there was a huge display dedicated to Yamato 2199. I really wanted a Yamato and had a meltdown in the store, like a full tantrum. I remember coming back to my apartment with my mom and just thinking non stop about it.

The week following, my grandpa took me instead and I’m guessing my mom told me how badly I wanted it because he got me not only a 1/1000 Yamato 2199 kit, but also the Garmilus 3 ship model pack. I was absolutely overjoyed and would not stop playing with that. The kit was later destroyed after a smaller big shelf collapse. He also died about a year afterward. It serves as a core memory and a reminder of him. As I shifted more into model building I dived more into gunpla until I was about 15. Highschool sucked. A lot.

The transition into being a freshman took a lot on my mental health. I got assaulted and the stress of everything caved in and I tried to take my own life. It’s a lot to Unpack and I’m not super comfortable talking about it, but it’s nessacary because of what happened.

Basically I got sent to outpatient which is like full time therapy sessions but school length. As cliche as it sounds, I brought a small Yamato with me. In order for it to fit comfortably in my pocket I froze super glue all over the fins and sharp bits so I would stab myself in the thigh on accident, iykyk. 

One of the things they told us in outpatient as a coping mechanism was that if we ever felt as bad as we did previously, think about the small things, and try on focus things that we would want to stay for. Well oh boy let me tell you, Yamato 2202 was coming out at this time and because of the format they were doing the movie part releases so 4 episodes every 4 months I think and I kept convincing myself that if I was gone, I would not see the end. 

The ending of 2202 not only brought around the end of that purpose but also wholly changed my outlook on my life. “The planets only stay in their places, only we have the power to give them beauty.” – Teresa of Telezart 

To say the ship had an impact on my life is an understatement. It was a reason to live at one point. On March 2nd/3rd when the announcement of Matsumoto’s passing came out I was absolutely devasted. I didn’t eat or sleep the following couple of days.

not a lot of people still know Yamato so in order to make conversation with other anime fans I picked up other shows but Yamato largely was my heart and soul. Matsumoto’s passing was what urged me to finally start. I wanted to build something that would not only bring me closer to Matsumoto but would hopefully give Yamato what it had given me- another life- sort of- maybe a little too dramatic, interpret that as you do idk. 

I want more people to watch Yamato and understand its message. We live in a day and age of constant bickering and isolation. We are all cogs in an economic machine. While we get blinded by work and debate, Yamato exists to teach people that it’s important to have dreams, to chase love and that maybe we can break out of our predicament – To truly know that you’re not alone is the meaning of Love, and that we must meet the challenge and the impossible will become possible – And finally, there is no one right-way to live – are all things that Yamato teaches.

[crowtoed]

Big fan of the following techniques for cosplay or when I want to look more masc: -Using mascara or brow gel with a mascara wand (AKA a spoolie) to 'highlight' the natural peach fuzz on your upper lip. Don't use this for your whole face, though. Your trying to darken the natural hairs, not apply the color to your skin. It's subtle used like that but will simulate a baby mustache or a few days' stubble. - Using cream shadow and a stipple sponge for areas of heavier growth like the chin or sideburns. - Get yourself a flat, broad nylon scrub brush (like the kind used to scrub cars or tires) and wet it. Then tap it against a matte eyeshadow (go more desaturated with the color). Then stamp that against your face for more subtle stubble, like on your cheeks or upper neck. -You can always glue on hair. I like to use trimmings from my own hair or crepe hair from theatrical supply stores. Put a bit in a cup you don't mind throwing away or dedicating as THE HAIR CUP and chop it down with scissors until you have a little nest of hair bits. I like to use watered down eyeshadow or alcohol makeup to shadow in a 'footprint' of wherever I'm gluing the hair. Then just apply the glue (eyelash glue or pros aide will work fine) and tamp on the hair with your pointer finger. I used all of these techniques in the picture of me above. You'll want to practice and figure out what density and colors work for your complexion. God knows when I started out going to clubs with masc makeup, I looked like a cheap lil Tony Stark. But it can give you such a nice confidence boost. It can also give you a great deal of options if you're gender fluid or non-binary (like me) and don't want anything permanent.

(I used wig trimmings for these rainbow chops. They won a facial hair contest at a steampunk event at Dragoncon 2013, lol)

do you know anything about how i might make my face more masculine without t or stimulating mustache growth (i have a faint one, visible enough that my mom hates it, but not enough that im satisfied)? i don’t wanna go on hormones but i at the very least want that mustache

I have heard of folks using Just for Men beard dye on their facial hair. Obviously, this is a bit more of a hardcore choice. Never tried it, myself, but if folks have stories, please leave in the notes!

Also paging my partner @crowtoed for fake facial hair advice.

[yournewapartment]

Need help on this topic, im so lost.. I'm 20, female and have NEVER had a romantic relationship of any kind. I blame living in the country and lack of a dating pool. But I would like to try and find someone.. I want a relationship thats aimed toward marriage, but I don't know if I'm ready or how to start or if I'm actually attracted to anyone which scares me. I know girls don't turn me on but I'm not even sure if guys do and if I can't love or feel for anyone I'm scare of being alone forever

I know it’s frustrating, but try to remember- there is no set schedule for meeting someone, falling in love, and getting married. You have so much time! I know it might not seem like that right now, but I promise that that special someone is out there waiting for you. You’ll meet them when the time is right. And please remember, you don’t have to decide who/what that person is right now. Just feel it out as you go along, and listen to what feels right.

I’ve combined three posts for you. Advice on finding someone, dating someone, and then having sex with said person (if you so choose).

I hope you find this helpful! Hit me up with any specific questions.

Finding That “Special Someone(s)”

1. The first step is deciding what you’re looking for in a relationship. It’s best to be as specific as possible, while knowing that you can always adjust with time. One of the things you need to be definitive about is whether you’re looking for a committed relationship or not. No judgment either way, but you need to know what makes you comfortable. Some other things to consider:

Monogamy or Polyamory 

To sex or not to sex

Are you willing to LDR?

What sort of activities are you looking to do with this person? Hiking, gaming, exploring, etc.

Does age matter to you?

2. Once you know what you’re looking for, start looking for people who fit that criteria. This might seem like an obvious notion, but really, so many people form unrealistic expectations with people/persons who don’t fit their ideal. I’m not saying that they need to be 100% what you’re looking for. Nobody will be! But if you’re looking for a committed relationship and get involved with someone who is not ready to settle down, you can’t expect them to suddenly come around to your way of thinking. Start off with someone on the same page as you.

3. How do you meet such a person? Use your environment! You’re around so many people all day, people who may not be of interest to you, but people who know people. Find out if your friends know anyone who fits your picture. Friends are a great way to meet people. Also, hate to say it, but go to parties! Go to parties with you friends and socialize. Is there someone cute in your Physics class? Find out if she wants to go over homework with you at the campus cafe.

4. I also recommend frequenting places that you enjoy, and scoping out potential cuties. If you like to read, hang out at Barnes and Nobles to find a guy who likes to read. If you like hiking, join an outdoor adventure group. Feed your soul, while on The Hunt.

5. I highly recommend befriending any person you’re interested in. Put yourself in social situations with this person, to see if you’re socially compatible. We all know people who are sexy as all fuck but share nothing in common with us. Start with the shared experiences and work from there, I guarantee you that this method creates better and longer lasting relationships.

Dating Tips

1. Figure out what you’re looking for in a partner. There are lots of fish in the sea, and every one is different! You may be attracted to someone but not sexually or socially compatible with them. If you know exactly what you’re looking for, you may find it easier to zero in on the person(s) that interest you the most. Remember that you can always and should always adjust your wants/needs as time goes on.

Here are some ideas to get you started, but this is by no means a complete list:

Are you ready to commit to certain relationships? Or are you in the mood to explore different people with no particular ties?

Are you interested in one person? Or multiple people?

Are you interested in sex?

Are you bold and looking for someone to get out of your comfort zone with? Or are you confident and happy with where you are sexually? Or a mixture of the two?

2. Choose your “perfect date” ahead of time. I’m not a super spontaneous person, and I envy those that are. But I feel much less anxious when I already have a date planned in my head. Plans can always be adjusted, but I like to have a plan. In my mind, the “perfect date” has three parts…

One: The shared activity. Start your date off with an activity for you to do as a couple. Something public like a movie or a visit to a museum or hiking. While this may not seem super romantic to you, this is a great way to bond in a non-sexual way. And a public venue and a pre-determined activity takes some of that anxious pressure off. You don’t have to talk a lot (if at all). Keep it light!

Two: Dinner. This takes a bit of research. Find out if your intended is an adventurous eater or if they have any food preferences. I like to experience new things, and I want to be with a person who is open to that. So I think this meal should be something new and exciting. Possibly food from a different culture that they’ve never tried, or else something gastro and experimental. But not too expensive. Stay under $50 for this first date. And TIP!!

Three: Romance. Now is the time for you to spend some one-on-one time together, if you’re both feeling it. You could invite them back to your place, or take a romantic walk in the park if you’re not ready. But somewhere semi-private where you can have a deep conversation and really get to know each other.

And that’s it! Rinse and repeat!

3. Please ignore any societal notions you ever had about communication. Text or call whenever you want to! If you really like them, do it right away. If someone is really put off by how quickly you contacted them after a date, then they are not for you.

4. Be open about your experiences. If you’re a virgin or haven’t dated before, tell the other person. If they really like you, they’ll remember that these are life experiences that everyone develops at different times and they won’t care. Don’t be with someone who thinks that inexperience is a bad thing. Everyone is different!

5. There is no timeline for when you should sleep with a person. Well, actually there is, but it’s called “your personal judgment”. The same goes for any oral sex you may or may not want to have. If she eats you out, you’re not required to do the same to her. If he gives you a rim job and then she licks your balls, you’re not required to suck his dick or her tits.

6. Safe sex is so important! Please use condoms or some form of birth control. Some STDs will stay with you for life, and not everyone is honest about them. I’d also suggest that if you are getting serious with someone, that both of you get checked out by a doctor. Your health insurance should cover a yearly visit!

7. Please use caution before sending anyone naughty pictures of yourself. Just Skype them and do some naughty cam stuff.

8. Remember that fights are totally natural. Fighting every day is not, but occasional fights are bound to happen. It’s so important to talk through problems! Don’t keep them bottled up and festering inside, if you can’t be honest about how you feel then why are you with them? Compromise when you can but stay true to yourself. A couple is a unit, but it’s the individuals that make it successful.

9. Go traveling and vacationing together. People are often at their most anxious when traveling, and I would absolutely recommend that you spend some time together to see if you can work through the stress. Also, if you’re going to move in with someone spend some time living with them first. Before my boyfriend and I moved in together, I spent two nights out of the week living at his parent’s house and he spent one night living at mine.

10. During the first few months of dating or being with someone, you’ll probably want to spend all your free time with them. Think “Glue” by the Velvet Underground. Spend that time with them, but stay true to what makes you passionate. Keep painting, running, cooking, whatever.

General Sex Tips

1. I would highly recommend that you spend some time “getting to know yourself” before having sex. Feel around down there, see what feels good and what doesn’t. See if you can get yourself turned on. The more experience you have knowing what works for you, the better you’ll be able to communicate with your partner or partners and have an enjoyable experience.

2. If you have a vagina, odds are that your first time having sex is going to be slightly painful. This is totally natural, and will go away as time goes by. But be prepared to be upfront with your partner and to ask them to go slowly or use more lube if things do start hurting.

3. Condoms! There are many different kinds (ribbed, flavored, hot and cold). Magnum are large condoms, so if you are buying condoms and don’t have a monster dick, you probably should not use them. An ill-fitting condom is an ineffective condom! Also make sure to always store condoms correctly and to throw them out after their expiration date. Only one condom at a time folks, wearing two condoms is not twice as protective. They’re more likely to rip.

4. If you have a vagina, you should be peeing and/or showering immediately after sex to prevent UTIs. These are no joke! They are extremely painful infections that cause you to pee blood. Always pee after sex. Pee twice. People with penises can also get UTIs, but it’s far harder.

5. Did you know that only 25% of people with vaginas can have vaginal orgasms? So if you can’t, don’t stress! There are all sorts of different orgasms to be had, and they are all equally amazing. If you’re not cumming, you’re not being stimulated properly. Try a new position, a new technique, try having your partner or partners stimulate you in a different area. The page I linked above is a bit gender specific, but it has really useful information, so please ignore these terms.

6. Foreplay is so important! Vaginas take an average of 20 minutes to get properly revved up and horny. The reason you’re “dry” down there is because you’re not properly stimulated. You can always use lube in a pinch or ask your partner to go down on you, but you’ll find that sex is easier and more enjoyable when you are literally “wet down there”.

7. Period sex. Oh how I love period sex. Vaginas are at their most sensitive during this part of the cycle, so achieving an orgasm can be easier. If you’re going to have period sex, throw a towel down first. Blood comes out super easily in the wash, you don’t have to do anything special to the cloth to get it clean. You will probably want to shower afterwards!

8. Communication is key. You cannot just lie back and think of England and hope that you’ll achieve a magical orgasm. It’s not like that. What turns your partner or partners on may not turn you on. This is absolutely fine! You may not even want to cum or be able to cum during your first time having sex, and this is fine too. Tell them what works and what doesn’t and be AS SPECIFIC AS POSSIBLE.

9. On a similar note, you are not obligated to do anything to anybody else or to yourself that you are not comfortable with. You do not need to give blowjobs or hand jobs or even have sex with someone if you aren’t 100% into it. If someone is pressuring you and thinks that sex equates a happy relationship, then I would advise you to ditch them and get on with your life.

10. Protection! Please use protection. Whether this is condoms, birth control, an IUD, whatever. The pull out method does not work. I am a product of the pull out method. Not everyone with a penis has precum, but many do. Don’t take the chance! I am on birth control and I love it, but that’s a whole different post.

11. Dildos come in all different shapes and sizes. You can get ones that are smaller and thinner than actual penises and ones that are comically large. Make sure to use lube! Wash them with dish soap in your sink and leave to dry. Some dildos that are “hyper realistic” come with a powder that you have to put on them. These are incredible dildos, I highly recommend them. They feel so life like!

12. Edible underwear does not taste all that good. Neither do flavored condoms.

13. Black sheets or black blankets and sex are not a good mix. You will see cum stains. They wash out super easily, you don’t need to do anything special to clean them. Just keep them out of sight when your friends and Aunt Kathy come over.

14. If you start having sex and decide that you want to stop having sex then please tell your partner and stop. You are not obligated to keep going if you feel uncomfortable. Your body = your choice.

15. If you have a vagina then you will want to make an OBGYN appointment shortly after you start having sex. These are vagina doctors and they can check your vagina out to make sure that everything is okay. You should probably get your vagina checked out often if you have multiple partners. If you are in a relationship with one person and use protection, then once a year is fine.

[stimtoybox]

Sorry if you've already answered this, but do you know any stim tools that might help stop me from picking at my lips? I've found myself doing this more than usual recently, and I can't stop. Even though I want to stop, and I know I'm doing it. It makes me feel so bad. I feel so ugly.

Anon, this is a hard one, because it’s something I struggle with myself. So know that the response you’re getting is from someone who has not mastered any of the techniques I discuss. I’ve always got red-raw patches on my lips where I’ve been picking at the dry skin.

But, the truth is that you’re the only one who notices. We’ve all got a body part or two (or more) that for whatever reason feels wrong to us, something we’re continually self-conscious about, and we’re the only one who notices it. Other people don’t notice. They just don’t. Do you know how close you have to get to someone to really look at their lips? To see creases and skin as opposed to just two lines of varying colours framing your mouth? Close. I know magazines and TV/movies like to do extreme close-up and detail shots on faces, but nobody looks at other people that way in real life. Chances are high that if someone is that close to you, anyway, they’re not paying much attention to picked lips. They’re enjoying being close to you, anon!

We know about our lips, so we go looking for them in the mirror; they jump out at us as a huge problem that defines us. People that don’t know don’t see that tiny little aspect of a person. We see the flawed pieces; they see the whole. The pretty awesome whole, anon. What is something small like lips compared to the fabulous rest of you?

If you’re picking because your lips peel and it’s bad texture, the best thing I can recommend is getting a good moisturising lip balm and remembering to use it. (That last bit is what I struggle with.) You don’t want to over use it, because that results in the balm losing effectiveness, but a few times a day. I’d also recommend getting a couple of balms and swapping them periodically, just like you should do with lotion and shampoo/conditioner, because your skin gets acclimated to the product and it stops working as well as it did when you started using it. (I know this from personal experience with both lip balm and hand cream.) I believe lip scrubs are also supposed to be good for scouring away dry skin (hence removing what invites picking) and it’s on my list of things to try, but I don’t have any personal experience with one.

(I’m bad at skin care routines. I mean, I barely cope with making my own bed; anything that isn’t extremely non-optional is hard for me to remember.)

I’ll also say that if your lips are dry anyway, and you need to peel off that top layer of skin because bad texture, try putting lip balm on at night, leaving it, and then peeling away the dead skin in the morning. With the night to soften, it won’t tear nearly as much as it does when you try to pick and peel at it without the balm, and you won’t then spend the next five minutes with a tissue pressed to your bleeding lip. Personal experience here, anon. This takes a little control, but it really does make a difference if you absolutely have to peel away that awful dry skin.

If you’re doing this because it’s about the picking and the peeling, and the lips are just the site you happen to go to for this stim, we do have options (many of them contributed by our fabulous followers). I’ll link to the picking and peeling tag but also to specific replacement stims below:

- Peelable nail polish

- Painting a Tangle/snake puzzle/plastic stim toy in PVA glue (scroll to bottom of post)

- Painting hands/skin in non-toxic glue (think PVA or Clag)

- Painting back of hand/skin without hair in liquid latex

- Peeling the paper off crayons (dollar shop crayons are great for this)

- A whole range of stim toys (including Tangle Hairy, Koosh balls and puffer creatures) good for picking

Anon, I am rhapsodic about painting snake puzzles in PVA (use a makeup sponge for the painting; so much easier than a brush) and peeling the dried glue off the toy. It lets me peel in the same way I peel skin from my lips, everything from shreds of glue to big pieces (like that of an actual snake’s skin, come to think of it) coming off in a single flap. This works well for me because I’m currently having dermatitis flares and don’t want to risk glue on my hands. It takes a lot of work to prepare (I do four snakes at once) but it is a fabulous and safe peeling stim, and I rec it to anyone who wants to redirect picking and peeling but still get the peeling feel.

I hope this gives you some ideas, but please, be gentle with yourself. You’ve done nothing for which you need to feel bad. It’s okay that you’re picking more than usual. It’s okay that it’s hard to stop - that’s pretty normal for most if not all stimmers! It’s not something just BFRB stimmers face; stimmers with Tangles and spinners also have to cope with the fact that a stim that feels fabulous is bad for us when done too often or too long. We all have to learn to vary our stims, to redirect or replace our stims, to pay attention to our body, to find ways to stim safer. It’s something natural and inherent to stimming, but it’s also something very, very difficult. Something we might spend a lifetime trying to learn.

Best of luck, anon. Big internet hugs, okay?

- Mod K.A.