#I'm sure they could still be friendly somewhere in the very far future of my still barely existent story ^^;

[maryymaruu]

Something prompted me to draw these two side by side... I know I still did not properly introduce the blue one- her name is Inevitable Relativity, and I am working on her ref sheet and intro trivia ( ´ ▿ ` );

But I think in better circumstances these two could be quite good friends tbh-

[gmariam19]

I once started a post-TROS story where Finn and Poe went to a very intolerant planet to negotiate a treaty, but they were rejected and sent away because the ambassador assumed they were a couple. I thought it was interesting to explore, that a galaxy as big as theirs can't possibly be all friendly and accepting. How does one create a galactic alliance with so many different species with so many different beliefs? I don't know, and the story got stuck. In part because I wasn't sure how Poe would feel about it--would he understand the need to still work with them, or would he be too angry to set aside their differences? I'm still not sure. But it was also a way to get Finn and Poe to talk and admit their feelings for each other. I mean, if a bunch of strangers saw it, how could they avoid finally facing it?

I've left off the first part as it was a bit much, and I've made Poe more unsure about how he feels about it, but I still sort of like Finn and Poe's conversation and would like to finish it. So here's the beginning in hopes that sharing it kicks a bolt loose in my brain and I can wrap it up this week. Thanks for reading!

The meeting had been a disaster – he’s been kicked out off plenty of planets, though never as a general - yet it is Finn’s question that stops Poe in his tracks as soon as they walk through the door of their room. "Why aren't we a couple?" Poe feels like he's been kicked in the chest. He steps back, mouth working soundlessly until he finally manages words. "What are you talking about?" Finn shakes his head, waves his hands in that way he has when he’s agitated. "What I said. A bunch of strangers from another planet thought we were together and told us to leave. Half the people we know wonder why we're not and have placed bets on us. So why not?” He's right, and Poe is one of the people who’s wondered the same thing; maybe he should get in on the betting pool. "Is this really the time to talk about this?" he asks instead. "I don't know!" Finn exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air. “I barely know what just happened!” He's clearly frustrated, but Poe is more confused. What is really bothering Finn—the failed negotiations on Allu, or Poe? "Look," Poe says, trying to stay calm even though his heart is pounding in his chest. It's not the time, and definitely not the place. "I think we should probably head out and talk about this somewhere else, once we're not still upset about the negotiations. But you have to believe me, it doesn't bother me that they thought they were together, not one bit. It's…flattering, really, an honor, that they would think…" He stops himself before he goes too far. "That they would see that in our relationship," he finishes. Finn narrows his eyes and points his finger at Poe. "Except for the part about it mortally offending them. Pack up, then. We're not finished." Poe nods, a nervous feeling settling into his gut. He feels like they are about to hit the tipping point, whether they are ready or not, and honestly, Poe's not sure he’s ready. He's known Finn for over a year and known for months that he has feelings for the other man. He's not nervous or ashamed of them; though his serious relationships have been very limited, they've involved both men and women. He's…cautious. Worried. And maybe more than a little scared. It’s the depth of his feelings for Finn that scares him. Finn has an amazing future—he's already started some Jedi training—and it will, inevitably, pull him away from Poe one day. The old Jedi didn't have relationships, and Poe doesn't want to hold Finn back. If Finn even felt the same way, which most of the time Poe has no idea. Sometimes there's a spark, a moment, and he thinks Finn might feel the same, but most of the time…most of the time they are friends. Best friends, and co-generals. And Poe is not sure what Finn might want from life, what growing up as a Stormtrooper has given him in terms of how Finn sees things like sex, relationships, family. The few times they've talked about it, in general terms, Finn admitted he’s not sure what he wants, what’ss normal, what’s even possible in a galaxy that is free. Poe has always tried to let Finn figure things out for himself, and would never pressure him to do something, or be someone, that he wasn't. So they pack quickly and leave, and the tension is thick, though Poe still isn't sure where it's coming from: their failure with the negotiations on Allu, or something more personal. Maybe a little bit of both. He can't help but feel like he's let Finn down in some way, and half dreads the conversation they need to have. He dreads it so much he suddenly wants to get it over with, and starts with an apology.

[spectrallik]

Specter Learns Guitar, the Hard Way

Big things often start small

I may have made a terrible mistake.

I’m a lifelong keyboardist. Not a great one, but an OK one. And I’m finally comfortable enough with the instrument to write my own music. Just one problem: the kind of music I want to make, the stuff that’s running through my head all the time, is on the dream pop/shoegaze end of post-punk. Keyboardists have a place in dream pop, and some of my favorite dream pop acts like Alvvays and Hatchie prominently feature synths. But any genre that descends from punk rock, even something this far-removed, is still fundamentally a guitarist’s genre. Plus, the songs in my head are on the heavier side like The Joy Formidable - no keyboards there, unless you count getting on your hands and knees and playing your effects pedals like a keyboard.

My synth has guitar tones, but they come nowhere near replicating the real thing. And I have some guitar-playing family members who are willing to help me out, but I don’t really know how to communicate my ideas to a guitar player. They don’t read sheet music, they just play everything by ear. How could I communicate how to play a part, or even what tone I’m going for, when I didn’t really know how a guitar works?

The only halfway decent guitar tone on the Roland Fantom, and it only sounds good after you shove a fuckton of reverb and delay after it.

So, I decided that the only way to get that knowledge was to experience the guitar firsthand. I don’t want guitar to become my main instrument or anything, but I want to at least get comfortable with it. Once I understand how a guitar truly works, it will be much easier to write for it. 

Unfortunately, the guitar I want to get - a G&L Fallout - is backordered for a few months. So, in the meantime, I got a cheapo starter guitar to screw around with and hopefully get some of the basics down. I’ll trade it in for a pedal or something later.

This is the Eastrock 39, and it is a piece of shit. It barely stays in tune, the pickups sound thin and lifeless, and the frets are rough. You have to actively fight this thing to get the strings to ring properly. Some of my tone problems are because I still need to build finger strength, sure, but I’ve read reviews from veteran guitar players that say that this doesn’t play easily. Not great for a supposed “beginner” guitar. On the bright side, it came with a ton of extra stuff that doesn’t suck - a nice guitar bag, beginner picks, a solid capo, audio cables, and luthier tools to replace the strings and adjust the action. It even came with a practice amp, but I live in a studio apartment and have an audio interface for my synth, so I don’t have much use for it. 

So… goals. My first goal is to get the basic chords down, figure out how barres work, and learn ONE simple song. I’m not too worried right now about memorizing the fretboard - I’m not gonna do any solos anytime soon - but I need to understand chords to actually play songs. Luckily, guitar sheet music is more commonly written in an alternate form called tablature that is WAY EASIER TO UNDERSTAND THAN TRADITIONAL NOTATION, HOLY SHIT, WHY ISN’T THERE A VERSION OF THIS FOR PIANO!? I’m still not great at reading sheet music, despite my ClAsSiCaL SuZuKi MeThOd training, but it took all of 5 minutes to pick up TAB.

So, what’s my first song? Well, a few months ago, I got a picture of one of my characters playing air guitar and singing along to a song:

As it turns out, this song - Future Me Hates Me by The Beths - is very beginner friendly. 90% of the rhythm part is the same power chord shape, and the lead guitar part is pretty reserved and minimalistic by Jonathan Pearce standards. Plus, the guitar I'm waiting on is the exact same model that Liz Stokes played on that record. So it should sound perfect, especially once I get a RAT on my pedalboard.

So yeah, we'll see where this goes. I do want to keep track of my progress somewhere, and I'm planning on getting the fuck off Twitter once and for all, so I guess it will go here.

[mybelovedwoo]

i will be your company

seonghwa x f!reader

fluff, forbidden love, sister's boyfriend's friend / wc: 2.1k

warnings: mention of food

note: so i had this idea in my head for seonghwa for a long time now, and i'm so happy i could finally write it down. i'm really excited for the future of the seonghwa stories these ones gonna be an interesting one.

seonghwa masterlist - main masterlist

You were already sitting on the bus when you received a message from your sister saying that you couldn't have lunch together with her and her boyfriend after all because something urgent had come up for them. She even said that you can wait for them at Yunho's, his boyfriend's place until then and maybe you can have dinner later. 

Yunho is living in a dorm with seven of his friends, someone has to be home so they can let you in, you think. Sure you met them before, but it's still awkward since you still don't really know them and you are also much younger than them.

Walking up to the door you were hesitant, but eventually, you rang the doorbell. You didn't know which one would be better if nobody answered, so then you can go home, or if they answer you have to spend some awkward hours here, but at least you didn't travel unnecessarily across the whole city. You were taken out of your thoughts when the door suddenly opened in front of you.

"Ohh. Hey Y/n. I didn't expect you here. Your sister isn't here and neither is Yunho." Hongjoong opened the door for you for your luck. He is the one that you talked with the most out of all of them so far. He is a very direct and friendly person, so he makes it much easier.

"I know." You didn't know exactly what to say. Just invite yourself in? How rude is that, you don't even know these men.

"Then what are you doing here?" He asked genuinely confused, he even tilted his head to the side.

"Actually, my sister told me I can wait for them here. Only if it's not a problem." This is so embarrassing, you would rather hide somewhere else. But you can't leave now.

"Of course, come in." He opened the door for you wider so you could get in. "To be honest, I have to go to work, I'm already late. But don't worry, Seonghwa is home, you won't be alone." You were actually hoping to be alone.

You entered the living room area, and the mentioned person just stepped out of one of the rooms at the same moment. He is wearing some comfy pants and a black shirt, you assume it's his pajamas or at least some homey clothes. He stops at his track, he looks confused and maybe a little embarrassed too. His eyes dart between Hongjoong and you. "Seonghwa, Y/n is staying here until Yunho and Y/n/s/n come back. I'm going to the studio." He grabs his bag and goes up to the door. "It was nice to see you again Y/n." He smiles at you and heads out.

"Feel free to sit down." He pointed to the couch with his hands. But before you could go there, he quickly ran over there and threw a few things off of it to one of the corners of the room. He also sits down with you, but not too close. He kinda acts as if he is afraid of you or something. It looks kinda funny, you sit at one end of the couch and he sits at the other.

His black hair hangs a little in his eyes and you wonder if it bothers him. You noticed how good he looks the first time you met him, you can't help but notice it now too, even in clothes like this. "If I had known you were coming, I would have worn something nicer." You are surprised by his sudden statement, you thought he heard your thoughts, but you can see his only joking by his sheepish smile. "Oh no no! Even I didn't know I was coming." You smiled back, the awkward tension from before was finally fading away.

"So you were about to meet up with your sister?" He asked you as he swept his hair out of his vision so he could see you better, although you were a little too far away. "Yes, we were about to have lunch together." You were getting more and more comfortable so you let go of yourself and leaned back too. 

"What? You haven't had lunch yet? But it's almost three o'clock. I'm gonna look for something in the kitchen for you, stay here until then." You couldn't even object, he was already gone. He came back moments later with a sad expression. "Y/n I'm so sorry. There's nothing really at home that I can give you." This poor man felt so bad for you. But it wasn't his fault at all, you were the one who interrupted his day, without any warnings, and now he has to deal with you when most definitely has better things to do.

"It's okay, I swear. I make a quick run to the convenience store, I'll be right back." You stood up to put on your shoes. This way you feel a little better, so you're not going to eat their food from them. 

You were about to open the door when he suddenly grabbed your arm from behind you to stop you from leaving. "Wait. At least let me come with you." You turned back to face him. He didn't really owe you anything, but the way he looked at you you just couldn't say no to him, so you said a little "okay", and he literally ran to his room to change his pants.

He came back real quick and you headed out to the store that is on the corner of their street, it's not that far, it's about a five-minute walk. "So is it your day off today?" You ask him, not exactly knowing how to start a conversation with him, you haven't had a real conversation before.

"Yes, it is!" He said it with a happy tone and a huge smile. "It was about time." He chuckled at his own joke. But it wasn't funny to you at all, because you hear from your sister all the time how much these guys work, and yes, right now you feel sorry for him that you steal his precious time to rest from him.

"I'm really sorry that I interrupted your well-deserved rest. You can actually go back home if you want, I can find the store alone." You knew he was just being nice to you.

"Don't be silly. You didn't interrupt anything. In fact, I'm rather glad you give me company." He stopped so he can properly give you a smile of reassurance. But before you could answer, he stepped behind you and put his left arm around your shoulder to push you further out of the road, closer to the edge. You didn't notice that a car was coming. This street doesn't have a sidewalk so you were walking on the narrow road the whole time.

After the car left, he didn't go back to the place he walked before but continued walking on the closer side to the road. "Thank you." You were genuinely surprised by his actions, he was such a gentleman. He just shook his head, saying "it was nothing". 

Eventually, you arrived at your destination, you were so glad because the walking made you ten times more hungrier. You immediately went to the ramen section, you already knew what you wanted to eat. On the other hand, it looked like Seonghwa wasn't prepared at all, he looked around for like ten minutes before he finally decided what he wanted to eat. 

Surprisingly he chose the same thing as you, the carbonara buldak ramen, it was actually you're go-to thing from the convenience store, with some strawberry milk to cool down the spiciness. "So you're telling me this is your favorite?" He asked you as he sat down in front of you at the little table in the store. "Isn't it too spicy for you?" 

"You underestimate me." You took it as a challenge, and it looked like he did too. So you made a little competition in who can finish the whole bowl of ramen first. Unfortunately, you didn't win, not because you couldn't handle the spice, but because Seonghwa ate so fast you had literally no chance against him. "I didn't know you had such a big appetite." It just slipped out of your mouth. You didn't mean to be rude, so you were quick to explain what you meant. "I mean it's a good thing!" You corrected yourself.

"Yeah, I really love food. I've always had a good appetite. Are you foody too?" He asked you as he opened both of your strawberry milks, you didn't even ask him to do so, he just did it without thinking much about it.

"I didn't have a good relationship with food. But that's in the past, I already let go of that. I really enjoy eating now though." He nodded understandingly. "Good to hear that." At that, you both clinked and downed your drinks.

"I actually wanted to mention this earlier, I really like your shirt." Seonghwa pointed down at your shirt. You wore your favorite T-shirt today. It's a dark grey, oversized shirt with a really cool Star Wars graphic on it. "Do you like Star Wars too?" He collected all the trash you left behind on the table in a small bag.

"Yes, it is my favorite movie of all time." Seonghwa's eyes sparked like the stars at night, he's never been more excited in his life talking with someone.

"Really?" He didn't want to seem too excited though in front of you, so you don't think he's weird or something. "Which one is your favorite?" 

"I know it's not everyone's favorite, but mine is the Revenge of the Sith. I just really love Anakin, I had a huge crush on him when I was young." You laughed admitting it out loud, even though it was a long time ago, but it's still embarrassing. 

"Yeah, he is really cool. He is one of my favorites too, actually." His gaze rested on your face and it looked like he was scanning every part of it, it made you very nervous. He swallowed hard and you could see he wanted to say something, bet he hesitated. " I have a collection back at home, I can show you if you want to." 

"Okay, sure, let's go." You haven't had anything better to do anyway, so at least you could spend your time doing something you like. You got going back to the dorm, Seonghwa's hand was full with a bag, he bought so much stuff as if he was shopping for an army. "Why did you buy so much stuff?" Your curiosity took over you, so you asked him.

"Just in case you get hungry later." You were surprised by his answer, you quite literally just ate a couple of minutes ago, what is he thinking of you, does he think you eat so much? But you didn't want to mention it to him, he probably did it out of kindness, and to insult you.  

When you got back, you were surprised as you opened the door and you found your sister and Yunho there in the living room looking very stressed. "Where have you been? I couldn't even reach you. I was worried to death." It seemed as if a stone had fallen from her heart when she saw you coming in on that door. "Oh, hi Seonghwa." She finally noticed your companion. It was so embarrassing that your sister scolded you in front of everybody like you were still a little kid. You took your phone out of your back pocket and see that it is dead, you didn't even notice it. "It's dead." You show it to your sister.

"Sorry, she was with me. We didn't notice how fast time flew by." Seonghwa stepped in front of you to confront your sister. She looked at you with an expression you couldn't really figure out. "Okay. I'm glad that at least she was in good hands. Thank you Seonghwa, and sorry if she was a bother to you."

"She wasn't at all." He says immediately, without any hesitation. 

Your sister and Yunho were ready to go out for dinner, but little did they know you were already full, but you had to go with them anyway. You were kinda sad that your day with Seonghwa ended so suddenly and he couldn't show you his Star Wars collection, that you were excited to see. But it was such a surprise for you, how well you got along with him, and how good you felt all day long. When you were just leaving, he even told you that he can't wait to see you again.

[aquariaries]

Reiji Sakamaki 05 - Chaos Lineage + CG

***I do not mind if you use my translations as a base for another language, I just ask that you credit me if you do!***

PLACE: Scarlet Mansion Reiji's Room

Reiji: (... ... The other day, I made an unthinkable blunder.)

(I'm the eldest of the family, and yet I feel as if I'm not in a good position to lead everyone ... ...)

(Even so ... ... I wonder just what was that scene I saw when I had that dizzy spell.)

*Flashes to a faded and blurry background of Reiji's room from the Sakamaki Mansion*

(Eve smiles at me friendly ... ... And with just that, a warm feeling spreads in my chest.)

*End flashback*

Reiji: ( ... ... I've never seen Eve smile like that. Then, just where have I --)

No way, have we met somewhere before ... ...?

(No, that's absurd. Maybe it's because I'm tired, but only these repetitive words and thoughts can come to mind.)

(I have to keep it together. Because I'm the one who leads this household after all ... ...)

————————————

Yui's Monologue:

It's been a few days since the fight with Violet.

Just to be sure, I had strengthened my vigilance, but it seems that Carla-san and the others haven't moved since then.

Even so, I've spent days unable to sleep because of the premonition of a battle that could come at any time.

————————————

PLACE: Scarlet Mansion Kitchen

Yui: Haah ... ... My body is all warm ... ...

(As expected, hot tea is so soothing.)

(But, the nightmares will not go away. I still can't seem to sleep today ... ...)

*Reiji appears*

Reiji: So it's you again.

Yui: Reiji-san ... ... You were still awake.

Reiji: Yes ... ... However, I thought I told you as well to get some rest.

Yui: That's true but ... ... I couldn't sleep for quite a while, so I was wondering about what to drink.

If you'd like, would you like to have some tea with me?

Reiji: No thank you. You don't need to worry. I felt someone's presence and just decided to stop by for a moment.

Yui: Is that so ... ...

Lately, you've been skipping scoutings and writing things on papers ... ... You haven't been resting, have you?

Reiji: That's because the situation is always changing. I don't have any time to rest.

Yui: But aren't you working a little too hard? If you keep on going like this don't you think you'll ... ...

Reiji: It's not something you should be involved in. Your advice isn't necessary.

Yui: ... ... I understand.

(Even more so than before, the atmosphere around Reiji-san became intense.)

(Collecting all kinds of information, making various assumptions, and giving instructions to everyone.)

(That's all because he feels responsible over last time's defeat ... ...)

Reiji: Well then, I'll be going back.

I have to keep making and preparings maps.

Yui: Maps?

Reiji: There are no maps in this land that we live in.

Accurately grasping the terrain and position is an important factor in devising a strategy.

That is why I use my familiars to collect information and draw the topography.

Yui: So you've been doing all of that?

Selection:

————————————

-> Sounds like fun ♟

Yui: Making a map yourself sounds like fun.

Reiji: It's not all fun and games. You must be out of your mind to say that.

Yui: I-I'm sorry ... ...

————————————

-> Seems hard ♙♡

Yui: That seems hard. To draw from nothing ... ...

Reiji: Yes, but I'm sure it will come in handy in the future. For that reason, I will spare no effort.

Yui: (Spare no effort, huh. That's very like Reiji-san.)

————————————

Yui: (However, constantly staring at a map all by yourself is surely very tiring ... ...)

Uhm, would you like any help with the map making?

Reiji: You don't possibly think you'd be able to draw accurate location information do you?

Yui: In that case, I'll brew tea.

Or even anything like organizing documents, could I help with that?

Reiji: ... ... Very well. If you'd go this far to say so, then I'll be leaving those chores up to you.

Yui: Really? Thank you very much!

Reiji: ... ... !

Yui: Is something the matter?

Reiji: No ... ... It's the first time since coming here that you've smiled ... ...

Yui: Oh really?

(Now that he mentions it, I haven't really had anything to be happy enough to smile about.)

(I was a little nervous when we drank tea and cleaned together before ... ...)

Reiji: Even though it should be the first time, why does it overlap with that scene ... ...

... ... There is a question that I would like to ask you but, have I met you before?

Yui: Eh?

Reiji: No ... ... That would be impossible. You were asleep for a long time inside that church.

Yui: Is ... ... that so.

Reiji: I've said things that I would have preferred not to. Let's return to the bedroom. Let's go.

Yui: Ah, yes!

(As I thought, are Reiji-san's memories slowly starting to return ... ... ?)

(What should I do, this is so frustrating. Would I be able to talk to him about the Samaki family like before?)

(Or is doing nothing better to avoid him from suffering any further?

... ... I have no idea ... ...)

PLACE: Scarlet Mansion Reiji's Room

*Sound of a teaset/teacup being set down*

Yui: Here you are, Reiji-san.

Reiji: Thank you very much.

I was worried about you breaking the tea utensils though ... ...

This is brewed very well. Both the scent and the water color are good. The taste ... ... Isn't bad either.

Yui: Thank goodness, thank you very much.

Reiji: However, this exquisite astringency and temperature.

It's as if you know what I like.

I think it's a coincidence, but it seems that you and I have similar tastes only when it comes to tea.

Yui: T-thank you very much.

(It's sad that it's only tea ... ... but it can't be helped because I'm failing at cleaning ... ...)

(Reiji-san's tastes naturally came to me. I'm so glad we got to have lots of tea together.)

Reiji: I hope this will help me make some progress on the map.

Yui: So this is the map. In the middle of it is this mansion right?

Reiji: Yes, centered here, Orange and Violet are located in this position.

Yui: What is this mark?

Reiji: It is the church. It is in a position where the three mansions surround it.

Yui: I see ... ...

(When I look at it like this, I feel like I finally understand where they are all coming from.)

(Ah ... ... ! Once this map is completed, we'd know how to get out of this strange land, wouldn't we?)

Reiji: You sure look happy.

Yui: N-no, it's nothing at all. Besides that, just how do you make these anyway?

Reiji: With the familiar's movement, distance and direction. Based on that, we measure it several times to identify the location.

The large amount of documents here are measured information.

Yui: Eeehh, all of these!?

(To look into all of that and put it together ... ... It's a tremendous effort for sure.)

(Research and investigation are Reiji-san's specialties, but ... ... As I thought, he works too much.)

Reiji: What's the matter, you're making a sour face.

Yui: After all, isn't this all a bit too much? I think it's a good idea that you take a little rest ... ...

Reiji: I do not have time for that.

Where and when will there be attacks from other families ... ...

I am doing everything possible to prepare.

Yui: But if Reiji-san collapses, it will be disastrous.

Reiji: You're someone who doesn't listen. Even though I've told you that you don't need to worry.

If you're going to go that far, why don't you cooperate with me?

... ... With your blood.

Yui: Eh ... ... ?

Reiji: Blood is the staple food of vampires. If it's as good as yours, it will be good food.

If you're worried about me, wouldn't it be as easy as to just offer me your blood?

Yui: Th-that's ... ...

Reiji: Be clear with your answer.

Or is it impossible to judge without doing this?

*He moves closer and pulls her in*

Yui: ... ... Kyaa!

(Reiji-san's fangs, they're right on the nape of my neck ... ... !)

Reiji: ... ... You're trembling. As I thought, you're still afraid to have your blood sucked aren't you?

If you don't have that level of preparedness, you don't need to intervene any further.

Yui: ... ... If it's about being prepared ... ... I am.

Reiji: Oh, then it's okay to stick my fangs in here right now?

Yui: Yes ... ... I do not mind as long as it's Reiji-san sucking my blood.

Reiji: ... ... !

Yui: (I'm not afraid to have my blood sucked. If this makes Reiji-san feel better, I do not mind.)

In exchange, please make sure to give your body the rest it needs.

Proper rest is important, not just meals. Even if you're a vampire.

Reiji: Eve ... ...

... ... I always thought you'd run away, but I was wrong.

*He backs away and lets her go*

Yui: (Ah ... ... He let go of me.)

Reiji: Rest without overdoing it, huh.

That's very like you. To be able to say something like that to me.

Yui: I'm sorry ... ... I know it's intrusive of me but ... ...

Reiji: I do not need an apology. It's not as if I'm feeling uncomfortable or anything.

When I look at you like this, I feel like you're a different person compared to the day that I had sucked your blood for the first time.

Even thought at that time, you were trembling in fear.

You don't seem to be afraid of me now. Do you not feel any fear?

Yui: Right now, I'm totally fine.

There's nothing for me to be afraid of.

(Now that I've regained my memories, there's no reason to fear Reiji-san.)

(I love you, and you're my one and only precious existence.)

Reiji: Such straightforward eyes ... ... It does not look as if you are lying.

... ... With that being said, I wonder why. There is a part of me that cannot sincerely accept your words .

I even feel as if something will break if I accept that feeling.

Yui: Ah ... ...

(My feelings ... ... When I remember that Reiji-san and I are lovers ... ...)

(I will deny the current Reiji-san's memories. I will do everything I can to have him become overlord.)

*Reiji comes closer and holds her again*

Yui: Kyah ... ... !?

*CG*

Yui: Wh-what happened?

Reiji: Right now, please do not turn this way. When I meet your gaze, I almost feel as if I'll lose sight of myself.

My experience, my knowledge, my existence. Everything seems to be shaken ... ...

Yui: ( ... ... If he ends up regaining his memories, he'll end up finding out that the current Reiji-san's memories are fake.)

(Even though I'm extremely desperate for them to return ... ... I don't want to be cruel like that.)

————————————

[Two roses appear on screen with extra dialogue]

*** Rose on Reiji's head ***

Something is wrong. It's as if I can't even control myself.

*** Rose on Reiji's hand ***

Are you concerned about our fingers being intertwined? But, you are the one making me do this.

————————————

Reiji: It's funny, isn't it? To think that you're still in my arms without going on a rampage.

It's no joke, it really is okay that I take blood from you. Nn ... ... *kiss*

Yui: Ah ... ... !?

(On the nape of my neck ... ...

However, it's different than usual. It's a very gentle feeling ... ...)

Yui: Um ... ... My blood, please drink it. I want my blood sucked by Reiji-san ... ...

Reiji: That way of inviting, just where did you learn it from? How shameless ... ...

Reiji: However, very well. Right now, I just want to drown myself in your blood. *bites*

... ... Nnnnn ... ... Nn ... ...

Yui: Nnn ... ... Aaah ... ...

(As expected it's very gentle ... ...

It's as if I'm melting ... ...)

Reiji: The tea you brewed was also delicious but ... ... this is an even more dangerous taste.

The more I put it in my mouth, the richer it becomes. I can't seem to take it out ... ...

Hah, *bites* Nnn ... ... Nnnn ... ...

Yui: (It's because I'm losing my strength, I guess. Somehow, I feel very relieved ... ...)

Reiji: Haah ... ... , Just why is it that your blood ... ... tends to drive me this crazy ... ...

Yui: Haa ... ... Reiji-san ... ...

Reiji: I know. If I drink your blood, then I should rest, right?

Now ... ... just for now, I will listen to your words.

Yui: ... ... Thank goodness ... ...

(If Reiji-san can rest even a little bit, I wonder if his tiredness will go away ... ...)

*CG END*

*Loud ringing noise*

Reiji: Agh ... ... As I thought, it came again ... ...

Yui: Eh ... ... ?

(Again, is it that dizziness?)

Reiji: First let me tell you this ... ...

Worrying about me is ... ... Useless.

Yui: Did you get dizzy again?

Reiji: Yes ... ... For some reason it seems to happen when I drink your blood. More so --

At that time, a mysterious sight crosses my mind.

Yui: Eh? A sight you say ... ... ?

Reiji: I do not know. It's just, not here ... ... It's just a mansion somewhere.

Yui: (Is it by any chance, the Sakamaki household? As I thought, this dizziness is the effect of his memories returning ... ...)

(My blood is what has been triggering his memories to return ... ...)

(If he continues to suck my blood like this, then someday they will completely -- But ... ...)

————————————

Yui's Monologue:

As Scarlet's eldest son, Reiji-san feels more responsible than anyone else and continues to work hard.

If he regains his memory, he will destroy it all.

I don't want to hurt someone important to me. But, I want him to remember.

The swaying of my consciousness slowly drifted off into a dream, perhaps it was because he had sucked my blood -- .

————————————

-END-

[the-original-skipps]

Fluffy Alphabet A-Z

Sano Manjiro aka Mikey

Note: Thank you so much for 100+ followers. I wouldn't have been able to get his far without your support. I'm super overjoyed and glad that you guys take the time to read my writing. I love you all very much as promised I hope you enjoy the fluffy alphabet! 💗

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

> Mikey likes to go for rides on his CB205T and he likes to bring you along. He just loves the feeling of the wind passing and your presence behind him. Maybe sharing some snacks while you both watch the sunset or the starry night sky, talking about random things. He just generally likes being around you even if you're both just sitting in silence.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

> He admires your determination and strong will. Since Mikey is mentally weak, he admires those traits in other people. No matter what you'd always be there to scold him or comfort him. It reminds him of his older brother.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

> Mikey instantly knows if you're feeling down, he just senses it. He'll bring you somewhere where they could both be alone maybe a park or he'll drive somewhere and sit you down. Mikey won't force you to tell him what's wrong but if you do he'll be listening intently. He's not the best at comforting people but makes sure to let you know that he's here for you.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

> Now this is a hard topic to answer. Mikey has pictured a future with his s/o, living in peace after all the rush during his teenage years. However, he doesn't see it happening because he knows it's best if he keeps his s/o away from him in the future.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

> I'd say he's both but mostly on the passive side. He lets you take the lead since he doesn't know much about being in a relationship. He'll be given advice and teased by his close friends but he'll keep their words in mind.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

> Mikey is pretty stubborn and doesn't like losing. If it's a petty harmless arguement, if he's wrong then he'll muttering an apology to you and completely forget about it. It's difficult to get into a serious argument with him unless it's something concerning him or Toman. Say the things he needs to hear even if himself doesn't agree with you. Then he'll leave to give himself space and think about things. Be patient with him because eventually he'll come around.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

> Mikey is very grateful for you being by his side even though he thinks he doesn't deserve it. He appreciates every gesture you do for him from the big things and to the little things such as making him lunch or fixing his hair or just being by his side when he feels he's losing himself.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

> Mikey doesn't hide things, if you ask him something he will directly answer you. He has no trouble talking about a past event since it already happened. Even though he doesn't want you getting involved with Toman, he still tells you about how they're doing or what they're up to. The only things he wouldn't share are his true feelings and his dark impulsivities since he doesn't want to scare you.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

> Just by being by Mikey's side you are a positive influence on him. It will take a long time but little by little he tries to open up about his true feelings and tries to rely on you more. Everytime you sense he's distancing himself, you would have to drag him back and knock some sense into him.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

> Mikey is definitely the type to get jealous easily and his childish tendencies tend to come out. If he sees you getting too friendly with someone he'll keep staring until he's had enough and say "(Y/N) is mine, hmph!" With a cute pout on his face. Be sure to coddle him afterwards because he might give you the silent treatment.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

> Mikey has no experience whatsoever. He has no idea how kisses work. It'll be super rare to get a kiss from Mikey since he's not used to being affectionate. If you're lucky he'll peck you on your cheek or kiss your hands occasionally. Your first kiss with him wasn't planned. Both of you were alone and you were just admiring him as he talked and pressed a light kiss on his lips. He was instantly shocked by what you did as he traces over his lips with his fingers but inside he's feeling all warm. He never knew kisses from you would have this kind of affect on him.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

> It took long time for Mikey to realize that what he felt towards you was more than just friendship. He confessed this to Draken and he replied "huh, obviously you like them you idiot. Hurry up and go tell them." In which Mikey replies by telling Draken to do the same for Emma. It happened when he came to pick you up from school one day on his motorcycle and brought you to the riverside. "I finally understand what I feel, (Y/N). I like you... You don't have to give me an answer right away, I'll wait however long it takes..."

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

> Another hard topic to answer. When Mikey fell for you he fell hard. As much as he wants to spend the rest of his life in peace with you, it won't happen. That is until he goes through "certain changes" and let's say he did. You'll be riding with him on his motorcycle on Christmas until he stops at a certain place. He'll start talking about his past and the times you've spent together. Then talking about how much he appreciates you and thanks you then pops the question. The wedding will be small and privately held with only people close to him and you are invited.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

> It is known that Mikey gives nicknames to those who are close to him. It depends on what your first name is. He'll most likely you use the first syllable of your name plus -chin, -cchi or -chy. Only when he's serious will he use your real name.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

> Honestly, it can be really hard to tell unless you really observe Mikey. You would notice he stares at you longer, or everytime your name pops up in a conversation he's interested. Draken is definitely the first the notice this change in Mikey and teases him for it, while Mikey denys it. The others will slowly start to notice this too. Especially, when he bought an extra taiyaki and gave it to you. Takemichy's jaw dropped at the scene.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

> Mikey won't be announcing to everyone that he has an s/o. However, if someone asks he'll answer honestly. I wouldn't use the word "brag" but he will say nice about you to others. For Mikey, intimate gestures such as kissing are only between the two of you. If someone catches the both of you, Mikey wouldn't be pleased.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

> You wouldn't have to worry about anyone trying to flirt with you or trying to hurt you not when Mikey's around. Mikey cares deeply about you and would give his life to protect you. You wouldn't have to worry about other people trying to flirt with Mikey either since you already have his heart, he'll simple brush them off. He's loyal.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

> As I have mentioned earlier, Mikey has no experience with relationships. You would have to teach him things. Still there will be moments that might seem simple to others but to you, you know it's a way Mikey shows his love for you. For example, draping his jacket over your shoulders or buying an extra snack so you could have some too. If he's not busy with Toman matters, he would want to spend his time with you.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

> Mikey would genuinely support your dreams and passions, telling you to never give up on them. He believes in you with his whole heart, and he knows you would be able to make your goals come true.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

> He would like to try things he never experienced before with you, like taking pictures at the photo booth or going shopping for matching keychains. That being said, what Mikey likes the most is the constant reassurance that you're here for him. Routines like going riding on his motorcycle or just talking with you, it what he like most. He's scared that one day you'd leave him so these mundane routines assures him.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

> You would think Mikey is the forgetful type but he actually pays attention to things. He'll notice you eyeing a certain item in a store or if you're lying to him. He genuinely cares about you and would like to know everything about you, even the shameful parts. Mikey has a hard time with emotions, he may not fully understand your troubles but he'll assure you that he'll be there for you.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

> For Mikey to actually want to establish a relationship with someone. It means he sees you as an important person in his life. However, certain things would have to come before you such as his family and Toman. It is something you would have to understand when dating Mikey.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

> Whenever he looks like he's spacing off during Toman meetings while he is paying attention to what's happening his mind can't help but wander towards you. About what you're currently doing or if you're at home safely. Before he starts the engine of his bike, or has nothing to do he fiddles with the keychain on his keys. It's the matching keychain you both have.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

> Mikey is not known to be the most showy when it comes to showing his affections. It's the little things he does for only you, that shows how much he cares about you. Mikey secretly likes the affection you give him even if he denies it. It surprises him everytime you hug him or kiss him but he never stops you or tells you to stop. Just don't do it in front of Toman. Even if he doesn't want to, cuddle him as the big spoon and it'll make him really happy. Since he's so used to keeping a strong facade, cuddling with you gives him the impression that with you maybe he doesn't have to do that.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

> Mikey will still act as the strong charismatic leader of Toman, where nothing fazes him. He won't outwardly show that he misses you but you can tell by the way he fiddles with his matching keychain or stares off into the distance that he misses you. He might even unconsciously blurt a quiet "I miss (Y/N)...."

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

> Mikey is willing to give his life away to protect you. Just you being with him is dangerous enough who knows who might be out to get him and easiest way they can do that is by getting you. If your safely is at risk even he likes you he would have to break up with you, keep you away from the danger. Because he utmostly cares about your well being and if anything happens to you, it will destroy him.

[golbrocklovely]

I hope im wrong for their sake but i really dont see S & K as end game. While his career is taking off right now, hers is on stand by meaning she barely releases any music, or merch, doesn’t have a proper label or management,doesn’t perform, she play sims on twitch and does tiktok and even then they are struggling to make time for one another. I mean she literally has to go with him on a work trip, and invite her friend just so she wont be alone and have time with him, the only way she was able to go home was by being included in another work trip which further puts a pause on her career.

What if she suddenly gets signed to a major label and actually makes a successful album and tours. Shes traveling, hes traveling, and yes long distance relationships can work but again, she moved in and barely gets attention from him now. Which leads to another point, i dont know if shes pushing the idea of marriage to get more clicks, or if she’s serious but that wont fix the problem, if anything it’ll make it worse and lead in a divorce or annulment. I think they’re in a very my first love stage that honestly feels like its barely now getting somewhere because it was just last year that he started taking her on work trips where as before hed leave for months with tfil and with Colby and she was just expected to be understanding. Just now she moved in and weeks before moving in still expressed worry of not having a place even though he co owns a 4bd mansion i mean to me it would have been a given after 6yrs, she didnt even have a key, she said it. So again i hope they do last but given certain statements made by both i think this is a first love, first real relationship type of situation and if they end i hope to god they remain cordial and friendly and the fandom respects them.

i'm not entirely sure what the future will hold for sam and kat. my hope, of course, is that they stay together AS LONG AS they actually want to. i hope that they know if things were to ever go south for them, and they just can't fix it, that breaking up is okay. and i also hope they know that sticking together for the sake of the fans is not a valid option. no one would want to see them not happy with one another. plus… fuck the fans lol they're not important in the grand scheme of things.

i think kat just jokes about marriage a lot bc fans have basically been asking them to get married for couple years now. so she knows she gets views when she hints at marriage. but i don't think they plan on getting married anytime soon. plus, they are both so young and they have plenty of time to settle down. plus, marriage is a HUGE commitment. it's not just an easy decision to make.

and you bring up an excellent point that in so degree, they might have to learn to live without each other physically. i think they could do it, plus, sam has enough money that if kat was on tour and he wanted to see her, he could technically drop everything and fly to her. but again, if that was ever to occur, they'll have to work thru it. and so far they've been doing okay for themselves.

while this is both their first loves, i don't think that means its doomed just bc they haven't really had experience before this. before this, they were literally teens. so lack of experience is expected. but i think they'll be able to work it out, as long as they want to. and as long as they try to.

[saphirered]

Hi there! You writings are wonderful. Please could you do an EssekXreader where the reader is from another high ranking den and is betrothed to Essek for political reasons. Both Essek and Reader aren't keen on the idea but eventually after spending time together realise they actually have feelings for each other, I'm thinking a bit like The Swan Princess. Please and thank you.

This is gonna be a two parter as the current draft already exceeds my usual word count limit 🙈 so stay tuned for part two in the next few days! Hope you enjoy 😘

Denial. It must be a cruel joke. Your family, your den they would never use you as a pawn in a bigger plot. This was all just a cruel joke or a move to assure their political advancement without the need to go through with this.

Anger. No. This is real. How dare they? How could they? They would use you like that? Without having the decency to let you know before the deal was made no less! Were it anyone else you’d crush them beneath your boot like the vermin they are for condemning you to a fate not of your own choosing. Perhaps you still might…

Bargain. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe you could just play your part and go your separate ways. A betrothal doesn’t have to end in a marriage. Even if it does, all that counts is appearances. Beyond that you could still have your own life right? You’d always be able to make the ‘me’ decision and wouldn’t have to take in account the ‘we’. Yes that should be right.

Depression. Your life is ruined! You’ll forever be tied to someone else without your consent. Your decisions will reflect on the many now. You’ll have to watch your every move and every choice or it may reflect terribly on your legacy. There’ll be expectations and can you ever live up to them while still being content with your own life or will you be sacrificing your happiness for something so stupid?

Acceptance. Acceptance…. Hell no!

Time for the first official meeting with Essek Thelyss in the context of your arrangement. You’d met many times before given both of your stations and reputations but now, you couldn’t help but feel a coldness towards the man regardless of what cordial or friendly dynamic you might have had in your limited social interactions.

Your respective families meet. You on your side, Essek on his. Both of you portray the facial expressions excepted of you; indifferent content. Nothing over excited nor anything remotely negative either but you’ve been raised a reader of the people and you could see through the cracks in Essek’s appearance. He’s just as happy with this arrangement as you are; not at all.

“It is a pleasure to meet you here today.” Essek speaks. The rules of engagement have not forgone any of you despite your discontent with this whole situation but for the sake of your watching families you’d play your parts. You’d put on a damn good show.

“You as well Shadowhand. Light be blessed we get to spend it in such magnificent company.” You can feel the approving look burn into the back of your head from your Denmother. They’d be none the wiser.

And so the negotiations began. All be damned if you did not at the very least were able to set some of your own terms in this arrangement. Fundings to sustain your lifestyle or a dowry were the least of your worries. You were more concerned with a place you could call your own, time to spend for yourself, security and stability and the ability to continue your life as is regardless of possible marriage. You would never give up your seat at the Bright Queen’s council and you’re very sure Essek wouldn’t give up his either.

Essek had to admit you played the game well. You’re a killer negotiator. Your persuasive side had shone at the Bastion more than once but those circumstances are wholly different than these. Your ability to make it sound like these ideas came from your den and not yourself, and have them think these suggestions were their ideas in the first place is simply remarkable. Remarkable and dangerous. Respect. But no matter how good of a talker you are, or he is for that matter, neither of you could get out of this.

Afternoon tea, a few lunches and dinners here and there and even a few events you were forced to attend with Essek as your escort under the careful watch of your dens. Whenever you were sure they were out of earshot you did not make it unknown neither of you wanted to be here and would prefer to be as far away from each other as possible.

Then there were the times you swore you might actually be able to like the Shadowhand. Councils held lead to many arguments, the Bright Queen watching the court fight among themselves for a next course of action, fundings to be divided and efforts to be pursued. You always kept a level head not allowing yourself to get worked up, or at least appear you weren’t but sometimes you could strangle the life out of some of these fools.

To your surprise in some of these occasions Essek would take your side and support your arguments, concerns and points brought up in debates. So he does know what’s good for him after all? Those moments were quickly ruined by the next point on the schedule where you’d be at opposing sides again. Usually you’d be able to work up an opponent in debate until their credibility would be questioned but Essek had caught onto your games and was no fool. If you could keep your cool, so could he. You had learned how to push his buttons as he had yours.

After a particularly heated debate the Bright Queen dismissed the dens, done with the bickering and infighting for the day. You couldn’t blame her even though there were still many things unspoken. You and Essek were at odds once more and you couldn’t be happier to be done for the day and head somewhere you wouldn’t be forced to interact with the asshole.

Conferring with your allies, trying to gain support of others, you grabbed your things ready to leave the Bastion. There he floated in the anti-chamber eyes cold focussed on you, waiting. You pretend you don’t notice and keep walking for the exit. Essek calls your name as you’re about to pass him. You don’t respond and keep going. He calls again. No response. He grabs your arm stopping you in your tracks. How you’d hoped to escape this confrontation.

“A moment of your time please.” The words leave his lips with an artificial, well-practiced warmth. Oh you’re fighting so hard to contain yourself but you too had a facade to keep up.

“Another time perhaps. I’ve grown quite exhausted after the day’s events. If you will excuse me.” You smile innocently placing your hand over his secured around your wrist. You pry your fingers beneath forcing him to release his grasp on you.

“Then allow me to escort you back home. Should you be able to muster up the strength to converse on our path I’d love nothing more than to just hear your voice.” Essek encases your hands between his. Eyes of the dens fall upon the two of you in the middle of the anti-chamber. Essek is known to be a reserved individual and these advances definitely stand out.

Oh so that’s the game we’re playing. Asshole move, Shadowhand. Two can play this game. If it’s the company you’re currently in he’s using against you you can do the same. You take a step closer to him standing on your tiptoes and lean in to press your lips to his cheek. You linger just a little and whisper into his ear.

“I have nothing to say to you.” You allow the distaste to bleed through your barely audible words before you pull away and take a step back. You couldn’t refuse his ‘generous offer’. It might make you look bad so you smile bright and nod even managing to call on a fake blush like some lovesick fool. From the corners of your eyes you notice the court members whisper among each other. Good. Let them talk. You link your arm through Essek’s still carrying your things.

“I believe I might have forgotten my transcripts of the day. Would you mind joining me in retrieving them?” So whatever the wizard needed to discuss with you he couldn’t say in public… Oh Essek what a mistake you made… That certainly offers you some opportunities to use to your advantage.

“Nonsense! I have my transcripts. You’re free to borrow them, or perhaps you’d like to study them with me? It might give us the opportunity to come to a compromise without wasting the Council’s time. After all, there’s much more pressing matters.” His expression might be a thankful one but if looks could kill… you’d be introduced into your next life this very second.

You begin leading Essek out of the building not allowing him any response or comeback for your previous statement. You walk head held high catching onto the praises of others. ‘A great match’? If only they knew…

Your walk continued in seething silence from Essek. Until you reached your home. Opening the door and leaning against the doorframe making sure no one else is in sight, you smirk at him.

“I’m curious. If I refused to part with these,” You hold up the transcripts. “What would you do? Would you go back and receive your own copies or would you go without them?” You leaf through the pages. It’s not like you needed them. You already had all you needed memorised so if anything they’d go into your archives for future reference and case study if necessary. Essek doesn’t dignify you with an answer yet so you continue to press his buttons.

“Would you be able to discredit my every word or counter them without the direct word for word reference? Would your arguments hold any weight against my own? Or would you be forced to depend on the vote or Light’s mercy, the Bright Queen’s verdict because if the latter, you’ve already lost, my dear.” You can’t hold back the smugness in your achievements. The look of defeat brought you satisfaction.

Essek bites his tongue. Even he knows that in theoretics you have the upper hand now. Recalling your words from memory alone wouldn’t be enough. He’d needed to cite them exactly providing the transcript in your possession. He couldn’t go back or it might arise questions, questions he couldn’t afford at this moment. What caught him off guard was you offering him the transcript still. He takes it before you can change your mind, the pages disappearing beneath his cloak.

“Luckily for you I’m not your enemy. Yes we might disagree on matters of state but at the end of the day we’re going to be stuck together and there’s nothing either of us can do about it.”

“What are you suggesting?” Essek doesn’t know wether he should be wary, outright suspicious, or glad you’ve come up with a plan amidst the chaos.

“A truce. If we keep these antics going it will lead to a war between the two of us. Are you really prepared to be expected to spend the rest of your life with someone you’ve grown to hate? Because I’m not. I’d rather sleep in my bed withe the comfort of knowing my partner will not stab me in the back or sabotage me at every opportunity he gets.” Partner. He. Not they. He. So not even you had a way out of this betrothal.

“Resentment grows much faster than affection.” Essek deadpans. Yes he sees your reasonings and you make some solid arguments but that doesn’t mean he has to trust your motives. He’s aware you in your position are much more dangerous than any spy, assassin or foreign force.

“Light be with me.” You’re exasperated. You’re offering an olive branch and this is his response? You pull him inside and close the door dropping the act entirely within the confines of your own home knowing no one will be watching you here.

“I am not offering you an epic enemies to lovers tale! I’m offering to make the best out of a situation neither of us actually want to be in! Marriage is just another contract. We do what is expected of us by following it to the letter and nothing more, nothing less. Love or affection is not part of that contract but respect is.” Essek takes in your words and considers them making sure you’re not twisting things in such a way you could later use against him or to your advantage.

“Your logic is sound and your arguments persuasive.” You raise your hand in an exasperated ‘thank you’ as he straightens your back and looks down at you.

“Very well. We have an agreement.” You’re on the verge of letting out a breath of relief at Essek agreeing to your terms and suggestions. You’d rather be sure this man isn’t going to drop you on a different plane in your sleep once you’ll be forced to share a home. You’d rather know you can trust him to have your back despite your grievances. At the end of the day, you both want to survive.

“Match made in Elysium.” Sarcasm is clear in your voice and the both of you cannot help but smile. More like match made in hell with the ‘letter of the law’ approach to navigating your predicament.

—————

Pacing back and forth fingers pressed to your lips in thought of Essek’s sitting room you ponder the terms of your agreement. Essek himself is seated on the couch leaning over a two sheets of paper, a long list of demands from both sides written on each.

“Next up housing.” You announce. Essek fiddles with the pen looking over the lists.

“I’m not willing to part with my towers unless something of equal or greater value is returned. I need space for my practices, experiments and studies.”

“I’ll agree to part with my own home under the terms you will share your personal resources with me and I will have amicable space for my own pursuits be this here or at another place of our mutual choosing.” Essek considers your terms on this matter. They are agreeable but this is a negotiation and neither of you are refraining from pushing for an outcome to suit yourself best.

“We will share my home then but we will both share our resources unless they pertain to exclusively personal matters or those of state when we inevitably find ourselves on opposing sides in the Bastion.” You stop pacing and turn to face Essek. He watches for your responses.

“I get my own tower.” You counter.

“That’s preposterous. I have need for certain rooms and areas for my studies and cannot relocate them.”

“Fine. Then I’ll get all unoccupied or unnecessary rooms.”

“You’ll get your own private bedchambers, study and sitting room just as I’ll have mine. These chambers will be exclusive and privacy to be respected. Other spaces save for my laboratory, for your own safety, are communal.” By the expression on your face Essek knows you’ve caught him in a loophole.

“Agreed. We’re entitled to our private spaces and will share the unspecified ones. Kitchen, dining room, living area… library…” You caught hime there… Essek’s expression turns sour. He’d have preferred to keep that one to himself but the agreement is fair.

“I wish to make an amendment.”

“Name your terms.”

“Some shelves will belong to my private collection. You will refrain from touching these tomes and scrolls without my explicit permission.” You ponder not entirely convinced. There’s nothing in there for you and Essek knows it. You raise an eyebrow for him to continue and concede on a previously negotiated term for this amendment to go through.

“And in return, you get to redecorate our communal spaces how you see fit, within the realms of reason.” Essek empathises the latter part of his statement.

“Agreeable.” You nod. “Next up; social engagements.”

The two of you go back and forth agreeing, adjusting, and conceding to come to an equal understanding and finalise your arrangement. Over all, it went surprisingly well. It certainly was a nice change of scene to have somewhat friendly negotiations without the added pressure of the dens and the Bright Queen herself watching you.

Essek makes for a good conversationalist and you might even dare say you enjoyed your afternoon setting the terms and conditions. Maybe you could be friends after all. That would be nice.

[emma-nation]

The Devil In I - Bela x OC (Resident Evil Village AU) - Chapter 5

“Step inside, see the Devil in I”

Summary: Aleena Novak is a 19 years old orphan who desired more than living in a village in the middle of nowhere. A talented artist with a big future ahead, she gets the scholarship of her dreams in United States. But everything changes when her twin brother, Auryk, steals an important artifact from Castle Dimitrescu.

In this adventure, Aleena will find way more than she expected.

“You’ll realize I’m not your Devil anymore”

Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x f!OC

Genre: Between T and M (Trigger warning for violence, blood, abuse and eventual smut)

Tag List: @nydeiri

Notes: I hadn't seen the video with all the sisters' lines, even those cut from the game. From the Maid's Diary we found, I assumed they could never leave the castle, even in Summer, as it was set in July like this fanfiction. I'll fix the mistake in this chapter. My apologies!

Thank you for all the reviews, follows and likes! It means a lot to me.

Trigger Warning: Language, abuse, blood and violence.

Castle Dimitrescu, Lady Dimitrescu's Bedroom - 3 Days Earlier

When Bela woke up in the morning after the attack, she had been taken to her mother's bed. After her transformation, she felt fragile like a child again. Not knowing who or what she was anymore, she was scared and lost. Her mother's bed felt like the safest place in the entire world. And it was. She loved being there. Alcina would never let anything or anybody hurt her. Nobody knew this side of her, when she acted like a loving and protective mother.

"Mother," she muttered, noticing Lady Dimitrescu was watching her and stroking her hair. "I'm sorry. I failed."

"Shhhh," Alcina kissed her daughter's forehead, "you need to rest now, daughter."

She started singing a jazz song Bela liked. Singing was one of her hidden talents. Her mother's voice was like a lullaby to her ears. She was almost falling asleep again, when flashbacks from the night before returned to her mind. She remembered being in Aleena's bed before falling asleep. She was holding Bela's hand, assuring her she'd be alright.

"Aleena," she sat down in an impulse. Bela feared what her mother and sisters could have done to the girl while she was sleeping. She started feeling agitated. "Where is she? I failed to protect her."

"She's fine. There's no need to protect her anymore, I asked Cassandra to keep an eye on her while I'm here with you."

Cassandra? But her mother knew Cassandra's intentions. She'd use Aleena to satiate each one of her desires and then, she'd kill her. If only she hadn't failed. If only she hadn't been so weak.

"But, mother... she's going to kill her. Please, she saved my life! She doesn't deserve to..."

"Nobody is going kill her, Bela. Once I have my goblet back, I'll let her go." Lady Dimitrescu pushed her back to the bed, tucking her under the blankets again. Then, she grabbed a book from the bedside table. "Why don't I read something for you? One of the stories you like?"

Bela forced a smile, listening as her mother began to read. She loved being there. It felt like the safest place in the world... in the past. Not anymore. Now she just felt betrayed.

When she noticed she was still wearing Aleena's jacket and inhaled her perfume, she thought there was somewhere else she'd rather be at the moment. Somewhere where she was truly feeling safe and happy. She wished to be in Aleena's bed again.

----------

Castle Dimitrescu, Lady Dimitrescu's Bedroom - Present Days

Three days passed and Lady Dimitrescu still wouldn't let Bela leave her room, even if she already felt completely recovered. She wouldn't leave her side for more than a few minutes and not even her sisters were allowed to see her.

She had everything she always wanted. Her mother's exclusive attention, to be sure she cared about her as much as she cared about her sisters. Yet, it wasn't enough. Not anymore. There was something new inside her. A part of her that wasn't connected to the life she had lived so far, a life that only included Alcina, Cassandra and Daniela.

"Good morning, sunshine," Bela covered her eyes as the sunlight invaded the room, immediately pulling her out of her sleep.

She was having those dreams again. Dreams she assumed to be memories from her past life. The one before the transformation. She decided to record them all in a diary. She hadn't much to do while she was stuck in that bedroom, it felt like a good manner to spend her time.

"Oh my god, now besides spending the day in bed reading Lord Byron, you're also writing a diary?"

"Cassandra," she angered, immediately getting up and grabbing the diary from her sister's hand before she could read anything she wrote. She also kicked the small pile of books on the floor to under the bed. "What are you doing here?"

"Quick and sharp. It's about time you leave the nest, don't you think?"

"This is what I want the most, but mom isn't convinced I'm recovered yet."

"Liar," Cassandra shook her head and smiled sarcastically. "You're loving it and I know."

"Are you jealous she remembered she has another daughter?" Her eyes and ears analyzed the space around her. Alcina was nowhere to be seen or heard. If their mother wasn't around, it could be a good opportunity to sneak out of the bedroom. "Where's mom, by the way?"

"Doing some boring shit in her office. She asked me to keep an eye on you."

"Okay, I'm doing great. Now leave, I'm gonna take a bath."

"Oh, no," her younger sister sat down at the bed with a book. "It's my turn to read something to read for you."

Cassandra began to read some words Bela recognized very well. She added a dramatic tone to her voice.

"When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me."

That was an excerpt from the book Daniela once found among a servant's belongings. The one about a vampire who fell in love with a human.

"Why are you reading this to me?" Bela rolled her eyes. That story was beyond absurd, suggesting vampires glowed in the sunlight. Yet, she wished she had the opportunity of attending school like those vampires were able to. Being weak to the cold was definitely worse than glowing in the sunlight.

"You know why," Cassandra did that judgmental look again. "It didn't work well for mom, it won't work well for you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," enough was enough. Bela went to the bathroom to prepare her bath. She would leave that room and no one would stop her. "And we don't talk about it, remember? You know how upset mom gets everytime she's reminded of her."

"We're not talking about her, we're talking about Aleena."

She froze at the mention of that name. It was surprising how in only a few days, a simple name acquired so much meaning.

"What Aleena has to do with this?"

"She saved your life," her sister followed her into the bathroom. "She could've ran away, saved her own ass, but instead, she came back to rescue you. She fed you her own blood, even knowing you could lose control and kill her. There is something going on and you can't deny it."

"So what?" Bela closed her eyes inside the bathtub, attempting to relax. All those things were true, but in the end, she had failed to protect Aleena. So much the task had been given to her sister. "It wouldn't be the first time a woman becomes infatuated by me. Which is not her case anyways. She's only trying to show how brave and efficient she is."

"You can fool mom and even Daniela, but not me. I know you, sister. Something about you has changed from the moment Aleena entered this castle."

Cassandra was definitely doing that to annoy her. That was one of her favorite hobbies. Bela decided to ignore all that provocation.

"You're wrong. And besides, she'll be gone soon. It doesn't matter."

But it did matter. And that was exactly why Bela was so desperate to leave that bedroom. What if Aleena was already gone when she left the room? What if she couldn't see her at least one last time? What if she ended up being another one of Cassandra's maidens?

----------

Castle Dimitrescu, Office - Present Days

A few days had passed since the Lycans' attack to the castle. The heating system had been restored, as well as the windows. The members of the staff proved to be innocent, they were so scared and ambushed as any of us.

Cassandra and Daniela were finally warming up to me. But I hadn't seen Bela yet. Alcina was keeping her locked at her own chambers, not allowing me anywhere near it. Even her own sisters were only allowed to see her that morning.

I was caught by surprise when, after breakfast, Mrs. Volkov came to my room bringing the information Lady Dimitrescu wanted to see me. I hadn't seen her since her return. Her entire time and attention were dedicated to Bela and god-knows-what she did inside that office. Maybe that was the day she decided to end my life. Even if I knew she was immortal, I decided to go prepared. If she couldn't die, maybe my daggers could at least give me some time to run. I was glad to have my amulet with me.

"Sit," she ordered as soon as I entered her office. "We must have a talk."

I obeyed. She closed the door and served us both a cup of tea. I decided to accept it, even if I just had breakfast.

"How's Bela?" I asked.

"Oh Bela... my sweet daughter..." the woman sighed and shook her head as she took a sip of her tea. "She's the most tempestuous of my three daughters, even a small thing can affect her mood."

I had a feeling she was talking more to herself, than to me.

"She's recovering. Her wounds have healed but I still think she looks a bit weak. As you could see, the cold can cause a severe impact on their bodies. Had it been in Winter and my daughter could have..."

She interrupted her sentence. She couldn't pronounce that last word and neither could I. Even if I only knew Bela for a few days, I couldn't stand the idea of losing her. Seeing her looking so sick in my bed still haunted my memories.

"Anyways, this isn't why I called you here," Lady Dimitrescu changed the subject.

"Yes, m'am?" I asked, drinking my own tea. "Have I done anything that goes against our deal?"

She raised her eyebrows at my unexpected question. I could imagine she was used to people being less confident in her presence.

"You did everything against our deal. You've been bumbling around this castle like if you were at some kind of fairytale, you've been messing around with my daughters and you... you saved them."

"I did."

"You could've ran away or even killed them. That was your perfect chance but you chose to save them," I had never seen such a look in the eyes of Lady Dimitrescu before. Only in that moment she seemed like a loving mother, grateful that I made the stupid decision of giving up my freedom for her daughters' lives. "Why?"

"I don't know," I sighed. I really didn't have an answer for that. "Maybe I was just following what my mother taught me, to help anyone in need despite of who they are or what they did. Bela saved me in my first night here, I felt I owed her that."

"She saved you because I ordered her to protect you. I know how Cassandra and Daniela can be. You owed her nothing."

"I also owed you," I added. I had to work on earning her trust, if I wanted my freedom and my life back. "You could have killed me and my brother, but instead you're giving us a chance."

Alcina did everything to hide it, but I could tell my words had caused impact. She appreciated honor and loyalty, and that's what I was showing her.

"What do you want?" She finally asked. "I must give you something in trade for your courage."

I thought for a while. I could ask for my freedom. I could ask for money. I could ask for her to forgive Auryk. But instead, I asked something simple.

"I want to call my brother. I want to know he's well and inform him I'm doing fine. I also want to know about his search of your goblet."

"Okay," she indicated me the phone on her desk. "I'll give you some privacy."

I couldn't believe what just happened, but I dialed Auryk's number as fast as I could. Nothing brought me more relief than hearing his voice on the other side of the line.

"Auryk! That's me," I spoke.

"Leena? Oh my god, I was starting to think you were dead."

"No, actually I've been doing pretty well here. You wouldn't believe it."

"What? How is that even possible?"

"Nevermind," I smiled. "I'll tell you later, in person. So, how's the search for the goblet, speaking of which?"

"I've been following some leads but it seems impossible to trace the buyer. I've also received some information that seems confusing and misleading."

"Why?"

"Aleena, do you believe Miranda would be able to betray her own cult?"

We didn't spoke much after that, but the question remained inside my head. The leads Auryk obtained all lead him to people related to Miranda, her most loyal followers from the village. I also thought about the Super Lycans and how somebody planned to kill the Dimitrescu girls. Only someone with so much power would be able to plan such a thing.

"I need your help," Alcina spoke once she returned to her office. I lied to her, saying my brother was close to find her goblet. "Somebody has betrayed me and I need to know who."

"Okay..." I don't know how I could even help her with that.

"I bet that was him!" She smashed the teacup in her hand furiously, before starting to walk around the office like a maniac. "The pig, the bastard, the motherfucker..."

"Heisenberg?"

"Yes!" She looked at me proudly. As if it was any secret those two hated each other. "But I need proof to show Mother Miranda the rat he is. Otherwise, she would never believe me."

"You need to approach him cautiously," I suggested, "so he won't have any suspicions. Bring him into your territory, where you are in charge and not Miranda. It'll be enough to intimidate him a little. Enough for you to catch any hints of a strange behavior."

Lady Dimitrescu didn't say anything for almost a minute. At first, I thought she had found me extremely stupid for suggesting she should invite her nemesis to the castle, but then, she opened a sly grin.

"Smart girl! You just gave me an amazing idea... I'm throwing a dinner tonight, for Mother Miranda and the other Lords."

"Yes, give him some alcohol too. You know, men and alcohol... it's not a good match."

She laughed. Not sarcastically this time, but sincerely. Then she got up and caressed my chin. Her cold hands made me shiver from head to toes.

"If I knew you were such a good girl, I'd have kidnapped you earlier. Now go, I want you to be there too. I'll ask someone to get you an appropriate dress."

----------

Castle Dimitrescu, Ballroom - Present Days

After lunch, Cassandra asked me to show her some of my knife moves. She had been strangely glued to me in the last few days, like a dog guarding its bone. I knew I had promised her we could do a training session any day, but I never imagined she'd take it seriously. I started to wonder if that was a good idea at all.

She picked the ballroom for our training session. Where we'd have plenty of space to move and chase each other. Scary.

"I'm giving you an advantage," she said. "I lowered the room's temperature a bit. I can't transform into flies."

"Good," I grabbed my twin daggers, "not all of us can buzz around."

She rolled her eyes at the pun.

"Oh and I also fed before coming. So in case you get hurt, I won't have problems with my instincts."

"I'm glad to know."

I started by teaching her some basic moves, which bored her a little. Then, we proceeded to a close body combat. I had to admit she was good, even if she didn't have a specific style or technique. But when she fought purely by instinct and impulse, that was a disadvantage. I was able to deflect some of her moves easily.

"Damn," Cassandra panted, a little tired. "You're not so bad. Where did you learn to fight like that?"

"By myself, mostly," I swallowed an entire bottle of water. Training with a vampire had consumed all of my energies. "My father didn't believe women should hold weapons."

"Moron."

"And a bastard. That's what he was."

"How did he die?"

"I never found out for real. He was out for one of his travels and apparently he got in a bar fight or something. I can't say he didn't get what he deserved."

I sat down on the floor to get some rest before taking a shower, Cassandra joined me.

"Your mother is throwing a dinner tonight," I spoke. "She wants me to be there. I have to admit I'm kinda nervous."

"Don't worry, it's only an excuse so she and Heisenberg can yell insults at each other. It'll be like any other meeting."

We were in silence for a moment. Cassandra fell pensive but I noticed a smirk on the corner of her mouth.

"I saw her this morning," she commented. "Bela."

"And how is she doing?"

"Quiet, broody, boring... same as usual. I'd say she's completely recovered. Mother is exaggerating, being so overprotective. But it isn't like Bela doesn't like receiving attention and being spoiled."

"She seemed very weak that day."

"Not anymore," she was about to leave the ballroom when she remembered something else. "She asked about you, in case you wanna know."

"Oh," I tried to pretend I wasn't so worried and interested. But I could feel my cheeks burning. "She did?!"

"You're blushing, sweetheart," Cassandra was too smart to leave this unnoticed. "You like her, don't you?"

"It's not like that! I... I care about her, we... have this thing... we kinda saved each other, you know?"

"No, I'd call that 'having a crush'. And I must give one advice, it won't end well for you. You and Bela belong to two different worlds."

"I know that," I assured her. "Trust me, I don't have a crush on your sister. And I won't have. I have another priorities at the moment."

"Good for you."

She laughed sarcastically and leaving me alone in the ballroom with my own thoughts. I didn't have a crush on Bela. I couldn't. She was right, we belonged to different worlds. I was only fascinated by the sensation of danger, the adrenaline she brought to my life. A sensation I never felt before. She was a predator and I was her prey. A real feeling would never exist between us.

----------

Castle Dimitrescu, Dining Room - Present Days

Right after I took a bath, Mrs. Volkov knocked on my door bringing a stunning red dress, jewelry and shoes. That was what I was supposed to wear for the night. Never in my entire life, I could be able to afford something so fancy. If it wasn't for the fact Lady Dimitrescu was pondering if I should live or not, I could easily enjoy that life.

"You look amazing," was what Daniela spoke when I met her in the hall. "Come here, let's take a picture."

Taking advantage of the fact her mother had been busy with Bela, she was enjoying her free time to discover the joys of the modern world with me. She revealed me she also had a cell phone. One she stole from one of the maids and assumed to be broken. I explained there was no phone signal where she lived but that she could explore other functions of the device. Since then, she has been recording multiple videos of her daily life and taking pictures with me, Cassandra and even the staff.

Lady Dimitrescu was going to kill me. I raised a monster.

I also found out we shared the same passion for art. She was a very good artist.

"Red is Bela's favorite color, by the way," she told as she tapped her phone screen. Good thing the camera wasn't able to capture me blushing.

I finally saw Bela for the first time in days. She was coming down the stairs just as we took the picture. Dressed in white, she seemed like an angel.

"Aleena," she greeted me with a simple nod.

"Hey," I couldn't help opening a huge smile, "I was starting to get really worried about you."

"I'm fine."

She followed her way to the dining room. I could tell something had changed. I didn't know what though. Was she mad at me or at herself because of the Lycan incident? Was it something her mother said again? The thoughts were consuming me as we placed ourselves around the table.

It was a foolish idea to assume a civilized meeting could happen in that dinner. Lady Dimitrescu and Karl Heisenberg had already started to exchange insults. Daniela said inappropriate things about five times. Cassandra had just threatened a servant with her knife. In my turn, I observed Donna Beneviento and I could quite imagine why she wouldn't speak to those people.

"Mother Miranda," Alcina had finally reached the point where she revealed the true objective of that meeting. "About four days ago, I was called to an emergency at Donna's house. A prized possession of hers has also been stolen. When I returned home, my castle had been vandalized. Someone attempted to murder my daughters by exposing them to the cold air, besides sending Lycans to kill them. And they weren't normal Lycans, they..."

"Were Super Lycans," Daniela interrupted. "Their claws were exactly like my mother's."

There was an awkward silence before Lady Dimitrescu proceeded.

"As I was saying. The Lycans were modified to be stronger."

"Oh please," Heisenberg argued. "Who would bother wasting so much time with you?"

"Those Lycans could only have been created in that gruesome factory of yours."

"Gruesome? Let's talk about gruesome. How many virgins did you sacrifice for this bottle of wine?!"

Oh god. I suddenly didn't feel like drinking anything else for the night. But then, the conversation shifted to another point.

"You're inventing this attack to cover up the fact you let that little thief go and he has stolen from another Lord," Heisenberg accused. "It was more important to you to bring his sister to serve as entertainment for your daughters. Which she must be doing very well, considering she's still alive and sitting among us tonight."

"Hey," I opened my mouth for the first time that night. Suddenly everyone was looking at me. "My brother didn't do it. I called him this morning, he's not even around. He has been searching for Lady Dimitrescu's goblet. And dare you to disrespect me again and I will..."

Nevermind. What could I even do against him? He was immune to my bullets and my daggers.

Cassandra started laughing, while her mother looked at me in a mix of shock and disappointment. Heisenberg continued with his accusations.

"Prove it then. Prove your brother has no involvement in this whole situation. He could have planned the attack as well, to rescue you."

"My brother is human, he has no power to create modified Lycans!"

Mother Miranda cleared her throat, indicating all of us should shut the fuck up. I stared at her figure, remembering my brother's words. She could be the one behind all of that and everyone was blinded by her power.

"I've come to a decision," she spoke. "Heisenberg is right. So far, the only person who could be declared guilty is the Novak boy. Alcina, if I remember correctly, you made the decision of letting him go."

"What about the attack, Mother Miranda?" Lady Dimitrescu was furious, but not surprised at her decision. Miranda seemed to always favor the other Lords over her. "The girl has a point. Such a stupid manthing couldn't have created Lycans and given them more power."

"Do you have proof the attack even happened? I'm sorry, Alcina, but the castle is intact."

"I repaired the damage! It was a risk to my daughters! I have their word as proof, as well as the word of my servants."

Heisenberg started to laugh non-stop, before insulting her again:

"So now you remember you have servants? You always kill each one of them to satiate your thirst for blood."

Lady Dimitrescu couldn't find words to refute that argument. Whether because it was true or because she was being smashed by Miranda and Heisenberg.

"Your son of a bitch!" She punched the table, making everything shake.

"We're all doomed!" Beneviento's creepy doll, started to run across the room, repeating those same words. "Each one of us!"

In that moment, I could finally hear Bela's voice in all of the mess.

"At least one reasonable person in this room," she stood up and started to leave. "Angie is right. We're all doomed."

"Bela," Alcina called, "come back here. We're not finished yet."

But she had enough. And so did I. I didn't think before following her to the main hall.

"Bela," I called her. "Where are you going?"

She stopped, taking a deep breath.

"Somewhere," she said. "Are you coming?"

----------

Castle Dimitrescu, Bela's room - Present Days

I swallowed hard when I noticed we were standing in front of Bela's room. She opened the door and invited me inside. I felt my heart thundering inside my chest. It was the first time a woman invited me to her bedroom.

Bela's bedroom was a reflection of herself. Completely organized, perfectly decorated. Daniela was right about her favorite color, some things had shades of red. Such as the curtains and the sheets covering her bed. The walls were decorated with some paintings and a portrait of herself. She also had a small collection of vinyl discs and a telescope near the window.

It had a small study attached, where I could see she had her personal collection of books. That was where she entered and came back seconds later, bringing a bottle of wine and two glasses. Then, she sat down on a sofa, inviting me to join her.

"There's no blood in this one," she spoke. I stared at her, wondering how she even knew. "I can't hear you thoughts. I saw how you put your glass aside when Heisenberg made that comment."

Good. That was probably something good to know. Bela couldn't see the mess inside my head. She was merely an observant woman who could read people very easily. I smiled in response. I was too nervous to show any other reaction.

"I just can't stand all that arguing, all that yelling," Bela drank her entire glass in one sip. Then, she stood up and went to the window. I followed her.

"It's a beautiful night," I commented, pointing to her telescope. "Do you like to watch the stars?"

"Yes and it's the only way I can do it."

"So you can never leave the castle, at all?"

"Sometimes, during Spring and Summer," she sighed melancholic. "Days when the temperature is higher than usual. This year hasn't been kind to us so far. Or the last one."

Never being able to go outside should be a torture. Now I could understand why sometimes she seemed so moody and upset.

"Summer has just begun," I told. "Maybe you can get some luck in the next few weeks."

"I hope so."

She went back to the other side of the room, serving herself another glass of wine. I hadn't finished mine yet.

"What do you think?" She returned to my side and asked. "About the attack. Do you think your brother is fooling you?"

"No, no way. Auryk never lied to me before, I know he's telling the truth."

I knew Heisenberg accusations would cause me trouble. Especially with Miranda siding with him.

"Lying is different from having secrets," Bela said. "Don't you have anything you hide, even from your brother? Something no one knows, but yourself?"

I did. I never told Auryk about the night I spent with Gustav, where I wasn't able to lose my virginity to him. I also didn't feel like telling him about my days in the castle this morning. I knew he'd judge me, in both cases.

"I do, but..."

She let out a small laugh.

"Oh Aleena," she traced the border of her glass with her perfectly manicured finger, "you act so strong and tough but deep down you're so naive."

"What do you mean?" I wanted to know.

"You should've ran away during the attack."

"I wouldn't let you die."

"Why?" Bela was staring deeply inside my eyes. In a manner I was feeling completely exposed, uncomfortable. "Do you know how many people I've killed? Or how many women I seduced only to drink their blood? It's not like I deserved to be saved."

"It doesn't matter," I didn't have a right answer for her question. "It felt right. You saved me in my first night here."

"Only because my mother ordered me and I try so hard to be a good daughter for her. But I failed, right? Now Cassandra has been taking care of you."

"Is she? I mean, I noticed she has been kinda glued to me lately but... sorry, I don't believe she'd save me if she had to."

"No, she wouldn't. She'd take advantage of the opportunity to get you killed and feed from your blood. My sister is more reckless than I am."

"You're different."

"I'm not. I'm just more careful with my actions," she placed a hand on my chest, feeling my heart beating fast. She shook her head in denial. "How do you know I'm not playing with you? How do you know you won't have the same fate as those five teenagers from your village, three years ago?"

"I... I..." deep down, I always knew Bela had an involvement in that situation. But now hearing a confession was totally different. Yet, I didn't feel afraid.

"How can you trust me? We've only met for a few days and here you are, standing in my bedroom where I could kill you and no one would even hear you scream."

"You wouldn't do that," it was my turn to face her, to look deeply into her eyes. I placed my hand over hers. "I know."

"I'm a monster, Aleena. All the stories you've ever heard about me? They're all true."

I don't care. I don't care. I'd still save you if I had to. I wanted to scream those words, but they wouldn't come out.

"You need to stay away from me," she removed her hand from my touch.

"Why?" I asked. "Tell me. Be honest. Who are you trying to convince with all of this? Me or yourself?"

"Just go, Aleena," she turned her back on me. "Just go."

----------

Castle Dimitrescu, Library - Present Days

I couldn't get any sleep. I'd just keep rolling in bed, without being able to find a position. What did Bela mean with that conversation? Was she assuming I was in love with her or something? I wasn't stupid like the other women she was used to seduce. I knew better than that. She had absolutely no right to throw all her frustration and anger at me. I wasn't her mother. I wasn't Heisenberg or Miranda.

I grabbed my sketch book and walked to the library. That castle was even creepier when it was dark and silent. It was almost like you could hear the laments of the people who had been tortured and killed within those walls. I remembered the five teenagers from the village. My mind tried to picture how they were lured into the castle and who killed each one of them. I could see myself in the place of one of those girls and the only thing I could imagine was if they were in Bela's bed when they were killed. I imagined the things she did to them. I tried to feel scared but instead my heart would start racing all over again. I tried to ignore those thoughts, but I locked the door anyways.

I had to relax somehow. I sat down at the desk and attempted to find any inspiration. I started working on a piece that represented Mother Miranda, the Four Lords and all the mystery surrounding those people.

I heard the door opening, I quickly pulled a dagger from my ankle. I could sense a presence approaching me. I was ready to attack, when the low light of the lamp revealed who it was.

"Oh, I didn't know you were here," Bela spoke.

"I was about to leave," I grabbed my sketch book from the desk. When I turned around, she was standing very close to me. We were face to face now, even closer than we were earlier in her bedroom. Her eyes were different though. Before, she looked angry and upset. Now she just seemed sad. "Good night."

"You can stay, if you want. I shouldn't be here anyways."

"No, it's your castle and your library. I'm leaving. Also, I'm retuning your key."

I extended her my palm, handing her the key I was holding.

"Don't be ridiculous," she closed my hand again. "You're my mother's guest."

"Prisoner," I cleared my throat and corrected. Bela let out a small, ironic laugh in response.

"Well, you had the chance of running away. You wasted it, darling."

And we were back to 'darling'. The same 'darling' from the beginning, when she was still deciding if I should be her prey or not. From when she didn't even know my name.

"It wasn't a waste. Not when I was saving your life."

"You shouldn't have saved! I made a mistake, I should be the one to fix it or face the consequences."

"Oh my god, is it all because you were in danger? Because you lost control of the situation? You don't need to be perfect all the time, Bela. It's okay to fail."

"Not everyone is like you, Aleena. For you, it's just natural. You are perfect at everything you do. You can always fix everything that is wrong. You can always use the situation in your favor. You're always pleasing everyone, even my mom!"

My hands started to shake in anger. She knew nothing. I was far from perfect and my abusive father knew very well how to expose my flaws, my failure. For Adrian, being perfect was the only acceptable option. Otherwise, he'd beat us. He'd punish us. Yet, I didn't torture myself for that. Especially after his death. I was about to shout it at her face, when I dropped my sketch book.

I kneeled down, collecting all the spread papers on the floor and shoving them back into my sketch book. When I stood up, Bela was holding one of them.

"Why were you drawing me?" She asked, analyzing my work carefully. I froze.

"I... I..." I had no excuses this time, except for the truth. "I wanted something to remember when I'm gone."

"You shouldn't, Aleena. You should forget it as soon as you leave through the front door. Nothing in this place is worth being remembered."

"You are!" I finally said it. "What if I don't want it, huh?! What if I don't want to forget you?!"

She was in silence for a moment. Then, she closed her eyes as if she was trying to process what she heard and what she would do next.

"Then, I better give you something better than a portrait."

She grabbed my face, pulling me closer to her. There wasn't any more distance between us, I was pressed between her body and the desk. I couldn't move, not even if I wanted to.

Bela's kiss was like every other of her actions. Calculated, planned. She wanted to make sure she'd be in control of it. She wanted nothing but perfection.

She started it very slowly and shy, as if she was trying to figure out the territory first. Her lips softly brushed mine at first, like if she was asking for my permission to go forward. I retributed, pressing my lips harder against hers. I wrapped my arm around her neck, bringing her even closer. I wanted to show how much I desired her, I desired that kiss.

She gently parted my lips with her tongue, finding her way into my mouth. Her tongue gently stroke mine, raising shivers all over my body. I stroked hers back and I could feel her pulse accelerating too.

I don't know for how long we kissed. Minutes, probably. I didn't want to stop. Never.

"Now," I smiled against her mouth when we parted, "that was perfect."

"Shhhh," she whispered, opening a huge grin, "shut up, love. We're only getting started."

Our second kiss was different from the first. It was more desperate. More intense. More passionate. We were both confessing how much we had been longing for that. Then we kissed for a third time. And a fourth. Then I lost count.

All I know is that I spent the night in the library, making out with Bela Dimitrescu.

[bastionkeeper]

Idk if you’d be interested but I absolutely die for 10 meeting Crowley somewhere in history and having a fun lil mix up with the trouble they’re both in

Anonymous said: Can I get some fuckin uhhhh Donna content? If you want!

I’m so sorry this took a million years and came out totally different, shorter, and probably less good than expected asdflkja it’s been a long bit of getting back to school, working in preparation for the festival that’s gonna kill me this weekend, and the big sad writer’s block, I decided to just post it now while I have SOMETHING at least

"I promise this is going to make up for that whole mess with the novasquid."

"It better, my hair still smells like calamari and I've showered four times now."

The sound of fond bickering often filled the TARDIS, though the incident with the novasquid had, indeed, increased the usual amount of bickering quite a bit. 

"Look, 3308, Mars, the nightlife is incredible," The Doctor assured Donna. "I once spent a night there, don't remember a thing, might have gotten married or… divorced, anyway…"

"I can't believe it, we're going clubbing," Donna laughed.

"Well, yeah, but on Mars," the Doctor emphasized, hoping for the usual human wonder at travel in time and space.

"You gonna go dressed like that? All suit and teacher glasses?" 

"You're one to talk, showing up to a 3308 club dressed like it's 2007," the Doctor said, grinning and raising a critical eyebrow.

He threw a lever and flipped a switch, and the TARDIS stopped groaning and shaking as they landed.

"Alright, Mars," Donna said, dramatically tossing her hair. "Lock up your husbands."

"Right…" the Doctor raised an eyebrow and headed for the door, grabbing his coat on the way.

The door opened and Donna and the Doctor stepped out…

...onto a London street.

"Mars, right?" Donna huffed. "You need to fix that GPS. Are we at least in the future?"

"Uh…" the Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and took readings only he could read from a device with neither screen nor speaker. "Depends… we're either somewhere in the nineties or 2019…"

"How can it be either the nineties or 2019?" Donna asked. 

"This is really strange…"

"No stranger than usual, you promising a vacation and us ending up in the wrong part of the universe."

"No, I mean…" the Doctor looked at the sonic with a frown. "These readings for Earth are all… well… it's saying it's only about six thousand years old."

"So it's busted then," Donna said. 

"Maybe…" the Doctor pocketed the sonic and looked around. "Well, so long as we're here."

"Oh no," Donna sighed. "No, don't get distracted. Let's get back in the TARDIS and go to Mars."

"Look! An old bookshop!" The Doctor beamed, pointing out the building. "Love an old bookshop, let's take a peek."

"Oh no," Donna groaned, as the Doctor grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the shop labeled: A.Z. FELL.

"Your orchid is getting lazy."

Aziraphale looked up from his book to where Crowley was examining a flower, one he'd brought to the bookshop as a gift a month ago.

"Maybe it's just enjoying a quiet moment away from all the yelling," Aziraphale said coyly, returning to his book. 

The bell at the door rang as a pair of customers entered, and neither demon nor angel took notice. 

"Sure, let it go soft," Crowley scoffed. 

"As if you don't like soft," Aziraphale shot back, not looking up from his book.

Crowley made a big show of snarling like he was offended as he wrapped his arms around Aziraphale's waist and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Don't you have things to do today? Besides harass the orchid?" Aziraphale asked.

"Yeah, but I'll be back for it," Crowley said with a wink. "You enjoy chasing people off all day."

Aziraphale waved him off, and for a split second two non-humans with remarkably similar faces passed by each other without noticing.

Then Crowley left the shop.

"Are you done yet?" Donna sighed, leaning heavily on a bookshelf. The Doctor was nose deep in a book, and had been for about an hour. Not the same book, no, he kept poking around in books and peeking around the bookshop much to the owner's dismay. Donna suspected if it weren't for the other customers that he'd have personally chased them off long ago.

"Something's very strange about all this," the Doctor said, not looking up. 

"Yeah, strange how you promised me adventure and now we're standing around looking at antique books," Donna said. "I think you do this on purpose."

"I wish I could claim that," the Doctor chuckled. "Nope, all accident."

"Well so long as you're reading, I'm going to go find something to do," Donna said. "You know, while you gather dust."

The Doctor waved her off and she stuck her tongue out at him, before heading for the door. 

The Doctor was reading Hamlet or rather he was sort of reading it, because it was just a little different from what he remembered. 

For starters it was completely dull, not at all the play remembered by the ages. Second of all the publishing date was definitely not the correct one, and yet he was certain this was an original copy. An original copy somehow lovingly maintained without a temperature controlled room or protective case, just placed on a bookshelf surrounded by several other well loved books.

"Oh, you don't want that one."

The Doctor looked up at the voice, the owner had left his post and come over to him. Aziraphale hadn't seen the customer's face yet, only seen his back as he pursued for far too long with too much interest. Another collector, probably, hard to shake.

"Oh?" The Doctor asked, turning to face Aziraphale. "Why not?"

For a moment surprise spread over Aziraphale's face, and then confusion.

"Wait… but…" he squinted. "Crowley, are you playing some kind of trick?"

"Uh, no, no tricks here," the Doctor said with an equally confused look and a friendly shrug. "Sorry, what did you call me?"

"Oh stop it," Aziraphale huffed. "You've barely even shapeshifted, are you trying to be funny?"

"Well now that's just rude," the Doctor said. "I'm very different now, got all long and grew my hair out, and the ears are totally different."

"Ears?" Aziraphale asked, bewildered.

"Do you know me?" The Doctor asked curiously.

"I should say so I…" Aziraphale paused. "... or maybe I don't. You don't feel… demonic. Are you not Crowley?"

"I'm the Doctor," he replied. "And I'm not a demon, sorry."

"That's bizarre." Aziraphale gaped. "You look just like him…"

"You did say demon, right?" The Doctor asked, and Aziraphale blanched.

"Did I?" He asked casually.

"Oh, don't get secretive now," the Doctor chuckled. "Would it help if I said I was an alien? I show you mine you show me… well, you get it." He pulled a face at his own choice of words.

"That's impossible," Aziraphale laughed. "She hasn't started work on the other worlds yet."

"She?"

"Nothing you need to worry about," Aziraphale said finally.

"Why didn't you want me to buy this book?" The Doctor asked. "And why's it all wrong? It's Hamlet but it's garbage, Hamlet's not garbage."

"That's the pre-edited copy," Aziraphale said smugly. 

"What edits are those?"

"The important ones." Aziraphale looked impatient now. "Who are you, really?"

"I told you, I'm the Doctor, I'm a time lord, I'm not from around here."

"Time lord? Sounds a bit pompous…"

"So does claiming intimate knowledge of the writing of Hamlet, but I think maybe we've both got the right," the Doctor said, eyes burning with interest. "Were you there? When it was written?"

"Were you?" Aziraphale countered.

"I was."

"Well I certainly don't remember you."

The Doctor looked triumphant at having gotten a confession that might help him puzzle out the situation, and Aziraphale sighed.

"Alright, which office sent you?"

"What offices?" The Doctor asked.

"Heaven! Hell! What "department" are you?" Aziraphale pushed. 

"Neither, and what exactly are you?"

"I am an angel," Aziraphale said defensively. "And I am very confused."

"Confused isn't so bad, confused means you get to figure something out," the Doctor said. "Tell you what, you tell me about Heaven, Hell, and Hamlet and maybe we can figure this out."

Aziraphale sighed and gestured to the back room, miracling on some tea. "Might as well. This way."

Donna was just starting to get bored when she saw him, crossing the street just a bit away. She chased after him, shouting when he didn't stop for her.

"Hey! Spaceman! You gone deaf and blind?" She huffed, grabbing Crowley by the arm and surprising him considerably. "You finally done with that bookshop then?"

"I… what?" Crowley asked.

"What have you done to your hair?" Donna asked. "And your…" she gestured broadly to all of him. "... all that."

"Well, nothing recently, bout time for a change," Crowley said. "Do I know you?"

"Haha, very funny." Donna rolled her eyes. "Can we go now?"

"Seriously, who are you?" Crowley asked.

"Oh God, I know what this is," Donna sighed in exasperation. "Martha told me about this, you got a pocket watch on you then?"

"Why would I have a pocket watch? What year do you think it is?" Crowley scoffed. 

"C'mon, it's not funny," Donna said. "Just hurry up and-"

Crowley snapped, trying to put the woman in a trance so he could get some answers out of her.

But Donna Noble was not so easily tranced.

"Are you snapping at me?" She shouted, putting her hands on her hips.

"Nngk!" Crowley choked, startled into backing up, arms pinwheeling comically.

"Something happened to you at that bookstore, is that it?" She said. "Right, we're going back, I'll not have you walking around looking like Mr. Goth Fashion and snapping at me."

"I'm… sorry?" Crowley spluttered, finding himself being dragged along. Oh well, she was headed towards Aziraphale's anyway, at least he'd have backup.

Crowley and Donna entered the bookshop just as Aziraphale and the Doctor had decided to go looking for them. There was a minute of Donna, Aziraphale, and the Doctor gaping in confusion at the demonic and alien doppelganger situation, before Crowley broke the silence.

"YOU!" he accused. "Of course it's you!"

"So you know me?" The Doctor asked.

"And you don't know me yet? Great," Crowley huffed. "You made a real mess of the thirties, you know that?"

"Not yet I haven't," the Doctor said, sounding offended.

"So you know him, Crowley?" Aziraphale asked.

"Yeah, he's the idiot with my face who always got me blamed for everything," Crowley said. "Trying to get back to his own universe, is this day one then?"

"What. The hell. Is going on?" Donna asked.

"Funny you should mention hell," the Doctor chuckled. "You know I met Satan once."

"Twice," Crowley corrected him. "Look forward to it. That one actually did me a favor, I was employee of the month."

"No one's answered me," Donna pointed out.

"You and your alien boyfriend are about to time travel through our world till you find a way back to yours, that's what's going on," Crowley said.

"Not my boyfriend," Donna said just as the Doctor said "I'm not her boyfriend."

"And Mr. Fell and his friend here are an angel and a demon," the Doctor added.

"We're not friends," Aziraphale said, just as Crowley corrected him to "partner."

"No way," Donna said.

"I assure you, miss," Aziraphale said. "Very much 'way.'"

"Satan, you're so embarrassing," Crowley chuckled.

"You know, normally I've seen a face before I steal it," the Doctor said.

"Likewise," Crowley said. "But I've got a few thousand years on you so I can say for sure She didn't copy paste me."

“Copy paste?” the Doctor asked, offended.

“Regardless, it seems we’ve sorted things out,” Aziraphale said. “Though I must admit , knowing you really are a time traveling alien from another dimension opens up so many questions…” his eyes glittered with that familiar look he got when discovering a new and fascinating book. “I have questions,” he said, taking the Doctor by the arm and leading him to the back room where he’d ply him for stories with refreshments and stories of his own.

“I’ll just be a minute, Donna,” the Doctor called over his shoulder.

“Yeah, that’s what he said last time,” Donna sighed.

“We’ll be lucky to see them sometime this century,” Crowley sighed along with her. “I’m going to have to dust him off again.”

“Whatchu say we leave them and go get some drinks?” Donna suggested.

“Told you, he’s my partner… thing,” Crowley said awkwardly, as Donna rolled her eyes.

“Don’t flatter yourself, hellboy, you’re all bones and sunglasses,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “C’mon, I want to know which of my friends are going to hell.”

[thought-i-to-myself]

I'm kinda late to the game but: Did Anne break the pocket knife on purpose just to say her "I'll replace it, but obviously anything from me would have far less sentimental value than this" line? Was she just fishing for an "I like you more than her" from Ann??

I think you're on the right track, beancopter, but to me it's less about Anne finding out whether Ann liked her "more than" Miss Rawson and more about Anne trying to discern whether Ann likes her or likes her.  

So the knife: Yeah, she fucking broke it on purpose, and I also don't think it was necessarily fishing for a compliment, unless you consider someone wanting to bone you a compliment (I guess it is, now that I think of it).  What Anne is fishing for is information, specifically, whether little Ann is INTO big Anne.  **Sidenote: doing scene breakdowns via text is infinitely less confusing than discussing this show outloud due to the frustrating fact that life, unlike tv, is not subtitled.  So I've started using big Anne/little Ann when discussing orally to differentiate without having to say "Anne with an E" or "Ann without an E" because even though the actors are only a few inches apart, Sophie Rundle is the smallest smol to ever smol so I just have this uncontrollable urge to call her character "little Ann" all the time and I guess that makes other Anne the "big" one even tho Suranne is also very small in real life. Anywhooooo . . ..** So yes, big Anne broke the knife so she could deliver the line that whatever she gave little Ann as a replacement wouldn't be all that meaningful in order to see whether little Ann would in fact go,  "OOH, OOH, yes it would! Yes it would!!" Or whether she'd just be like, "well no, but I just really use that paper knife a lot so if you could get me a new one that'd be great, thx."

Anne is an expert level flirt, no question, but I think these little fishing expeditions - and she goes on them several times throughout the season - actually serve a purpose beyond just getting Ann to give her the thirsty eyes. Remember that this is a world where being a lesbian isn't even a thing, so my take is that Anne does this to get clear verbal indicators that ANN is into her in a more-than-friendly way, to confirm that the vibe she's getting is more than just Ann Walker being polite, civil, nice, platonically complimentary, etc. Because if you look at the statements she uses, they will all elicit a response that's decidedly EITHER friendzone OR somewhere past friendzone and headed toward DTF; there's really no middle-ground response to them.

Cut to the almost end of 1 x 02, before Anne heads to London for Vere's wedding.  Anne has been turning on the charm and they've been eye fucking the whole episode, but I think Anne is really still trying to make absolutely sure that Ann is into her – like for reals into her – before she does anything more than flirting (also remember that she's coming off of a heartbreak here).  So they're talking about painting and Anne says, "maybe someday you could paint me." Seriously Anne??  This comment ONLY ever gets answered one of two ways: Either the person says, "I'd love to paint you," or the person says "umm, that'd be super weird dude, you're kinda creeping me out."  Has any one ever told a friend they would love to paint them in a totally platonic way (???), because I sure haven't. I mean I've never said it at all because can't paint so this wouldn't have come up anyway, but you get my point.

You didn't ask for an analysis, so this answer is probably WAY more than you wanted, but I want to throw in one more example, and it's an important one.

After the Anne(s) are reunited in 1 x 08, Anne "I'm always alright" Lister finally tells Ann that she's not really alright, that she thinks she made a mistake with the coal pits, and tells Ann "God I've missed you," and "I don't think one hour went by where I didn't think of you." She's letting Ann know that her heart is still in it, that she hasn't let go of the possibilty of them, despite the fact that Ann's hurt her. And in that most-majestic-and-life-alteringly-good hilltop scene, there's a point in the conversation where Anne starts telling Ann about her adventures in Denmark. I honestly think she starts this part of the speech just because Ann is there and it's her Ann who she hasn't seen or talked to in what feels like forever, so she just tells her all these things she wishes she could have seen, could have been there for, memories she wishes they'd shared. And then she gets to the end and there's this moment right before she says, "friendly people, the Danes" where she takes a big breath, and I swear this is the moment she's decided what she's going to say next, where she knows that what she says will ellicit a response from Ann that's either capital Y-Yes or capital N-No, once and for all.  And she says, "I think I shall go back there." Think about it.  There is NO CHANCE IN HELL that Anne thinks that she's going to deliver a line about traveling and NOT get a response from Ann about it.  She says those words like they are HEAVY because she KNEW that telling Ann she wanted to travel back there in the future meant that Ann would either respond with: (a) LET ME COME WITH YOU I WANT TO BE PART OF YOUR FUTURE, or (b) more sad and heartbreaking words as to why she can't/won't/it's not the right time, etc. etc.  Anne knew she'd get an answer; the conversation was never going to be AL: I hope to get back there someday. AW: oh, cool; what'd you have for lunch today?

Ok so this was less of a breakdown and more of a ramble, but I just love that when Anne wants to get an answer from Ann about something, she knows how to get Ann to tell her without actually asking the question.

tl,dr: yes.

[acnhhh]

Detectives

By:Astrid Camicazi N. Hofferson

Summary:Modern AU! Detectives Hiccup Haddock and Astrid Hofferson expect that there will be no problems for them to solve this Holidays but something unexpected happened. What would they do? (Christmas Special)

Rated: T

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON.

ASTRID

TODAY is December 24, a day before Christmas. The streets are filled with different colored lights and Christmas ornaments, as well as the houses that surrounds the town. The snow is falling and everyone is enjoying the season. Well, the incoming days might be special for the others, but for us detectives, it is just an ordinary day.

I am Astrid Hofferson and I am a detective. Together with my best friend, a fellow detective, Hiccup Haddock, we solve different kinds of cases, simple or complex, no matter what the season is. We are always ready to help whoever needs us.

"You okay, Astrid? You looked very stressed." Hiccup asked worriedly about my condition.

"I am very fine, Hiccup. Just spacing out a bit." I told him reassuringly.

"I thought something happened." he smiled and handed me a mug of hot chocolate which I gladly accept.

"Thanks. But it is nothing." I said taking a sip from the hot chocolate.

"You sure? Maybe you just needed a break from all the stress we have encountered. Besides, it is Christmas time. All of the others are with their families. So, you better go somewhere else and relax."

Yes, you heard it right. All of our friends, who are our colleagues, went to their families to celebrate the occasion except for the two of us.

"Yeah-yeah. Says Mr. Work-a-holic." I said sarcastically which earned a chuckle from my companion.

"I know. But my point is we need to relax. Com'on! Christmas occurs only once a year and I think we should take a break from work. A vacation, I mean or let's just say, a nice Christmas dinner. Besides, we are both alone. We have no families left. So, I think we can spend time together, if you want to. It's not like any cases would happen." Hiccup told me.

He has a point actually. We don't have any families left. Nothing to spend time with. So maybe we can spend time together. But wait...

"Are you asking me for a date, Haddock? Never thought you would ask me out." I said teasingly.

He blushed at my comment but stuttered something in defense.

"N-no! I-its just a friendly date! A dinner like I said, if you wanted to."

"Fine, if you insist."

And that's it. We went out that night to eat dinner at a fancy restaurant. I ordered some grilled chicken and salad, while he ordered some carbonara and grilled salmon with vegetable salad. We had some talks while waiting for our food. Talks about work and personal life. A few moments later, the food we ordered was already served. The food is very tasty and actually worth the money. We also had red wine and desserts after that. He paid for the bill. Completely. I insist a share of money to pay the bill but he refused to accept it. All is well that ends well. I never expected this night to go well. We are currently walking back to the detective agency without cases to solve. No worries or...

KYAHHHHHH!

...not.

We heard a scream of a woman, just a few yards away from our current location. We immediately rushed to see what happened and when we got there, a bloody corpse of a man was found lying on the sidewalk.

"It seems like we have a case to solve." I let out an exasperated sigh.

"Yeah. I thought no more of this will happen, atleast, for today." my companion said.

A crying woman who was currently embracing the dead body saw us and immediately asked us a question.

"Who are you two and what are you doing in here?" she asked us. Her voice was a bit groggy but that might be because of her crying.

"I am Hiccup Haddock and this is Astrid Hofferson." my companion introduced ourselves to the woman. "And we are detectives. I advised you to stay away from the victim because this is now a crime scene and you might contaminate the evidences that might lead us to the culprit."

"C-culprit? How can that happen? My friend jumped off the building. He committed a suicide! And you are trying to say that someone killed him? He is a good man and I think no one can do that to him." the woman said aggressively.

"Yes. It may appear to be suicide for now. But we also needed to look at another angle that someone might have killed him. And that is what our job for. We are going to find out the truth behind this." I told her and I am glad that she listened. She stepped out of the way and let us investigate the crime. Whether it is suicide or not.

Hiccup wore his gloves and mask. And started to take pictures of the crime for future references. We always bring the things that we might need for investigations, just in case. While I, called the nearest police station and summoned them to deploy some officers to handle the case with us. After that, I approached the woman who found the corpse and asked for her statement.

"So tell me Miss..."

"Sarah Johnson." she introduced herself.

"Okay, Miss Johnson. Tell me what happened." I demanded.

"I found my friend, Max, lying on the sidewalk with his face facing the path, drenched in a pool of blood. His face was crushed and I was horrified of what I have saw." she said crying.

"What are you doing before you saw the corpse?" I asked her while jotting down her statement.

"I was on my way to his apartment room to visit him." the woman answered.

"Does the victim caught up in a fight with someone recently?"

"No. Never."

"Do you know someone who has a motive to do that?"

"As far as I know, his sibling-"

She was cut off when we heard a police siren came. The police went out of the car and helped Hiccup investigate the crime scene. I continued my interview with the woman and it is like she has no alibi. But she gave some names of the people who are close to the victim and the ones who are mad at him. So far, we have two persons of interest. Or three rather. For I do not trust the woman. It is like she is hiding something. I left her with the other police and entered the crime scene.

"How was it?" I asked Hiccup.

"There were no evidence that can point out the culprit, if this case is a murder. However, we still have the corpse examined just in case." He answered. I could see from the expression of his face that he was disappointed, not only on how our night turned out, but also because of the lack of clues that could point out the culprit, if there's any.

"Maybe we could really consider the possibility that it is suicide." I suggested.

"And if it is really a murder, the suspect did his thing very well." he said. "How about you? Any luck?"

"I got the woman's statement earlier. She is Sarah Johnson and she is a close friend of the victim, Maxwell Green. She has no alibi. But I find her indeed suspicious. Though, according to her statement, there are people who might have a motive to kill Max. His brother, John Green, is jealous of him ever since because according to what she knew, she said, that John's parents favoured Max more than him." I told him every detail of my interrogation.

"The woman might have told you a lie. We might have to consider Ms. Johnson as one of our primary suspects. Since she was the first to find the victim's , she and the victim's brother only?" he asked.

"Yeah. But, she also told me that Max has a girlfriend named Elana Brown. They have been for five years and since then, they have no fights." I answered.

"So, that crosses her out of our list."

"Or maybe not. We could always use every single bit of doubt for any case that we solve."

"Good point. Anyway, I..." Hiccup started but is cut off by the arrival of a police officer, Officer Helga Holgerson, who called us.

"Detective Haddock and Detective Hofferson, two people arrived here. They introduced themselves as the brother and girlfriend of the victim." she said and then she left right after.

"Okay. So, we needed to get their statement. I will interrogate his brother while you go for his girlfriend. Is that okay to you?"

"Yup." I said affirmatively. "Let's get started. Time is running. We don't want to waste our time, right?"

He nodded in agreement.

"Well, then."

We separated ways and started asking them some questions that might be essential for our investigation.

oOo

Few minutes have passed and we have finished questioning the two. Actually, it took shorter than we expected. Unfortunately, both of them also have no alibis. John and Elana were both at home spending time with their families for the Holidays. But obviously, everyone's spending time with their families, except for us, of course.

"I can't believe that I'm saying case is getting harder to solve, isn't it? The primary suspects have no alibis and all. No clues at all. Our only hope of solving this case is from the forensic examination results of Max's body." I said, almost losing hope.

"No. You may be right, Ast. But there's no perfect crime. There's a flaw in everything. Anyway, while we are waiting for the test results, we should probably check the victim's room and possessions, as well as, the CCTV videos. I'm sure they have a CCTV in here." Hiccup suggested.

oOo

We proceed to the victim's room, 3rd floor Room 305, to check out his possessions. And from what Hiccup and I saw, it was indeed, very saw a small package from his brother, John. His phone's last call was from his friend Sarah, a few minutes before he died. And there's also a cup of tea, Cherry Hibiscus Tea. But I, we knew that there is something wrong with it.

After that, we checked the videos from the CCTV cameras and we saw earlier that day that there was a delivery guy who came to give Max his package from John. It was actually a perfect normal scenario, but what baffled us was that the delivery guy wears shades and hooded jacket that wasn't normal for a typical guy who delivers packages. Plus, he has a very feminine body. We also checked the CCTV videos from the neighbouring building. Looks like with this we are almost done with this case.

Then by the time we were done with what we're doing, the Forensic reports were already here and were handed down to us.

I opened the envelope, took out the paper and read it.

"What did it says?" my partner asked.

"There were traces of belladonna inside his body." I told him.

Then, all of a sudden, he smiled. No. It is more like a smirk. The smirk that he shows when he already know the culprit.

"You do know the culprit already, don't you?" I asked.

"Yes, I do. But I know that you also know the culprit." he said.

"Positive."

"Perfect! Now, I think it's the time to reveal who our culprit is."

oOo

We are now gathered at the police station with our three primary suspects, namely: Sarah Johnson, John Green and Elana Brown, to reveal who the culprit is.

"So, I assume that we are all here because you already find out the truth?" John asked us.

"You're right." I replied affirmatively.

"Then, what is it? Is it a suicide or a murder?" Elana asked this time.

"Murder. And one of you three, is the suspect that we are finding for." Hiccup stated calmly.

"Given that the crime was almost perfect, It took as a while to figure out. But there's always an imperfection out of a perfect thing or scenario." Hiccup continued.

"Oh, please. Enough with the speech! Tell us who killed Max!" Sarah yelled at us, demanding for an answer.

Hiccup and I looked at each other and then we laughed. Like there is something very funny. The others are very confused of what's happening and tried to remain silent. A few moments later, I broke up the silence.

"Don't be silly, Miss Johnson. You already knew the culprit." I said. "Right, Hiccup?"

Hiccup nodded.

"The culprit is none other than you..." Hiccup pointed his finger to Sarah. "Miss Sarah Johnson."

"How dare you! How can you do this to Max?! He has been your bestfriend ever since!" Elana said with rage as she rose up her seat and attacked Sarah.

"Hey, stop!" she commanded Elana but she didn't listen. She pushed her to stop her and then, Sarah faced us. "You don't have a proof that I killed Max and also, why would I do such thing?" She asked. Sarah's still acting as if she was innocent. Though, the truth was already revealed.

"There is just one reason behind this...Jealousy." I answered her question and started to explain the reason why. "The suspect killed the victim because she loves him so much and she can't take seeing him with another woman."

"Hence, what happened. Ms. Johnson sent Mr. Green a lot of Cherry Hibiscus tea, in which she addressed the sender as John Green, which contained belladonna, or devil berries. According to the analysis, it was ingested by the victim before he died."

John looked at Sarah's direction and glared at her.

"Sarah delivered the package to Max and disguised as a courrier service delivery using some hooded jacket and button up. Then when the victim already received the package, the culprit left the apartment and changed clothes. She was watching what the victim is doing by going on the rooftop of a neighboring building and by observing him using a pair of binoculars. Seeing him already drank his tea, she decided to call him and convinced him to jumped the building." Hiccup continued explaining.

"And because belladonna, when going into the human body's system affects the victims perception of things. He began hallucinating things and becomes easier to manipulate. Or in other words, mind controlled. Being not in his normal state, Max followed Sarah's orders and went up to the rooftop of his apartment to jump. And when he did, Sarah purposely went back to see the corpse of her friend and acted like she was shocked of the unfortunate things that happened."

And that's where our deduction show ended and a deep silence ensued. I looked at Sarah to see that the innocent mask she wore is already worn off.

"You are right. I killed Max." she admitted, letting out a sob. "If he can't be with me, why would I let another woman have him?"

"You are sick and insane! How can you do this? All of this foolishness because of that damned jealousy!" said John. "Not to mention, you almost framed me up. But somehow, it failed."

"Says the sibling who is jealous with his sibling right from the very start!" countered Sarah. "And everything will be according to plan if this two didn't start investigating!"

"We're just doing are job." Hiccup muttered under his breath.

I nodded at the statement.

"Yes, I admit. I am jealous of Max but I would never do that to him. Blood is still thicker than water. Unlike you!"

"Bastard!"

"Enough of that! Take that woman away!" the chief of the police said.

The others took her and put her in the cell with the other prisoners.

On the other hand, the police, Elana and John were very grateful to us because of what we did. Well, like I said, it's our job to bring justice to people.

After that, we left the station and went back home.

oOo

We didn't return to the detective agency. This time we decided that it's better if we go home after all this Holiday fiasco. We went to my apartment. Actually, I can handle myself going back home. But Hiccup insisted to come with me because he couldn't let me encounter danger especially because it's already 3 am.

Oh...Guess what? It's already Christmas!

We reached my apartment by foot at 3:30 AM.

"Finally, we are here! I'm very tired." I said as we got inside the apartment.

"Me too. I can't believe that someone will perform a crime this time of the year!" says Hiccup as I gestured him to sit on my couch which he did not refuse.

"Well... what can I say? Love is the most powerful motivator for a person to do such serious crime." I told him.

"Yeah, love." he shrugged.

"Oh, by the way, Hiccup, do you like some coffee and perhaps some snacks as well?" I offered.

"No need. I'll go home."He replied.

"I insist. We just arrived in here and besides, like you've said earlier we should spend time together because y'know? We don't have families to spend with anymore." I persuaded him. I hope he accepts my offer...

"Fine."

I smiled at him and went to my kitchen to prepare two cups of brewed coffee and of course, some sandwiches just to ease my or should I say... our feeling of hunger.

"By the way, your moves are very familiar. You know that I am a guy who is hard to get." Hiccup said cockily with a... smirk?

"I'm not making any move!" I said defiantly.

"I'm just kidding. Geez, don't be to serious." Hiccup chuckled. "Besides, I really wanted to spend time with you. More likely because our peaceful night got ruined by that case. I'm sorry. Guess I really do have some bad luck like they always said, don't I?"

"It's not your fault and you don't have to feel sorry about it." I assured him.

A few minutes later, the coffee and the sandwiches are already done. I went to the living room to serve the two of us the snack I prepared.

"Here's your snack."

"Thanks."

There we dig into the scrumptious food I prepared. He then stared into the television.

[beeseverywhen]

There's a guy from the flats next door and he's always like really friendly acts like he really knows me when I bump in to him and ppl are always like oh who's that and I have to be like I don't really know? He lives near me? He's nice?

Honestly I feel kinda bad cause I'm always nice but I'm definitely not reciprocating the same level of friendliness and it's not that I don't like him! It's just that like. I don't consider him to be a neighbour neighbour. I'm reserving the effort for like ppl I have to share a building with. I think he would really like to live in our building (fuck knows why. his neighbours are a lot less intense than mine and they seem to cause a lot less problems) maybe I just don't see it but he puts in a lot of effort towards getting to know us and i haven't seen him do the same for the ppl who live in his building (but then when would I see that I guess)

Anyway today I got home and he like shouted across the car park like 'OH hello! How are YOU?' And the ppl I was with were kinda edging for a introduction but like...I don't know this mans name! He knows mine! But I don't have any memory of his (I'm sure he's given it. He's nice like that. Either way it's been years of him acting like we're friends. He asks after me when he sees my relatives (they are also his neighbours and he's equally friendly to them, though they seem to be doing a better job of reciprocating than me tbh) It's far too late to ask by now. The only ppl I've seen him be this friendly with are anyone who lives in my building, or my relatives (and that's to be expected they are friends with everyone in the surrounding Postcodes)

So yeah I feel like I'm letting this guy down a bit. Usually I'd be the first to return someone's friendliness and strengthen our friendship. Maybe this is a potential close friendship that I'm missing out on??? By not responding in like? He could be my future best friend? Who knows?

The thing is tho. When it comes to befriending neighbours I have a bit of a don't shit where you eat attitude. I think having a good relationship with your neighbours is a good thing! It's nice to feel like you are living in a community. However. To me neighbours are like extended family. I want to be close to them but in a very different way to how I'm close to my friends. My neighbours get my family fronting persona. It's like. On a scale of close friends (no holds barred) to customer service rep (all age rating. Patience of a saint. Expert in conflict resolution-someone trying to start an argument will hit the brick wall of my friendly but firm negotiation tatics), how I am with family and neighbours falls somewhere in between. I'm me, but I'm a bit more restrained. Less swearing. Less willing to die on a hill. I just think, if we fall out, I still have to live alongside them. I'm slightly less fun, and my personality is a bit more reigned in, cause I don't want to risk stumbling over any personality clashes you know?

Maybe this is just me introducing rules for things that don't need rules? I could be missing out on some great friendships here. My dad has made lifelong friends with multiple neighbours in places he's lived over the years (and never really lived anywhere more than a few years). Now he's moved country some of them fucking fly out to visit him. He considers his neighbours house to be an extension of his own. If he's putting you up in the spare room there's a 40% chance that's not actually a spare room in HIS house. The neighbours kids and my dads kids are a package deal, have to find them for dinner? You better check rooms in both the houses. And that's nice, more friends is always good! But I've also seen him make enemies of multiple neighbours over the years and I just think I'd rather miss out on potential friendship if it can save me from THAT. Friendly enough that we're there for each other in a tight situation, not so friendly that most of them don't try to give me life advice (the people in my building do like to do this, but that's because they have no respect for boundaries, not cause I invite it. As I said. It's like extended family. Everyone has a few aunties and cousins who like to give unasked for uninformed advice.)

[wavernot4love]

trying 2 be brave & whatnot but man am i going to miss the mcr community having these shows to unite around. so here's a little (alright, maybe a lot) positive wavernot4love x swarm tour lore, in hindsight following the last show of tour. an op-ed, if you will. feel free to share your experiences as well!!

this tour came at a time (for me, that was early last september) i so desperately needed it/them, long story short i was feeling trapped and unwanted because of stuff along the lines of dicks in the modern pop punk etc scene that's been my home for a hot minute (if you've ever been around pop punk twitter, you know the kinda stuff i'm talking about). i needed somewhere to feel safe and valued since music/the "scene" is, well, the only place i truly feel that way (has been since i was 13 & started listening to this music/going to shows).

and so i rediscovered this side of the scene. not that i went anywhere, inherently, i just hadn't really been involved in mcr adjacent online communities & whatnot in a minute.

this tour made me get to know some of the deep cuts i'd never listened to in the past and essentially been saving for a rainy day (think some of the lesser known bullets/cw songs + other random moments) and above all, just come to love and feel closer to this band than ever before.

songs like this one:

i went to toronto, a city i'd never been to despite always having longed to and not, in the bigger picture, living too far away at all, and while the crowd experience admittedly wasn't the best, i still had my band there in front of me playing these songs that have meant the world to be for going on ten years now. it was a reminder that they are very real, indeed, and not some sort of near-fictional godlike entity of the past like they in a sense were to me when i started listening to them post-split in early 2014 and for all those years leading up to return and, ultimately, this day when they physically became a part of my life.

and what then? well, i decided i wasn't going to end my experience at this tour on that note (aka being surrounded by a... well, not very fun portion of the crowd), and also just downright wanted them back. and so i impulsively solo tripped the furthest i'd ever gone for a show before and went to nj2 and had the time of my life, and goddamn did i feel free. i'll never forget driving home victoriously that night blasting dd songs for hours.

for an idea of the celebratory nature of what i'm talking about, i'll put it out there that this show was their first post-split performance of planetary.

and so i kept up with every stream, every costume, every setlist every night, in real time, an experience i'd never had with them (or really, in general) until now.

and then, of course, not fully directly mcr related, but still relevant to this story: i, of course, got into ls dunes. i'm sure you guys could have never guessed this bit of the wavernot4love lore. i listened to perm rebel the instant i heard about the band, thanks to, of course, frank being a member, + another factor i'll get into another day, jammed past lives from the moment it dropped, and, in turn, toronto crowds got their redemption when i soloed that show of their first tour, a night that quite literally became potentially my favorite show i have ever been to (surpassing mcr mainly thanks to the intimate nature of it vs an arena show). in the near future, i already have two dunes sets (adjacent fest + ssf baltimore) 2 look forward to :p if anyone is going to those i'm always down to be a friendly face!

and, well, that toronto show was the night i spoke with frank, aka, if my mcr shows hadn't done it already, the night mcr became, to me, just a bunch of Some Guys that make music all of us care about a whole bunch. and i say this positively, as that's my whole thing with my love for the scene at large: coexisting & interacting with everyone as just people who are passionate about the same stuff.

and, related to the dunes stuff, i've gotten into so much goddamn music because of this tour, both directly and indirectly. from midtown & the homeless gospel choir thanks to my personal experience at one of my shows to both mcr & the dunes causing me to dive further into the 2000s scene, particularly in the realm of post hardcore, than i ever really had before. for the record, that certainly includes the dunes themselves (never ask a wavernot4love how exactly they wound up hundreds of miles from home at the worcester massachusetts palladium on january 20th for the tsoaf show amidst typical northeast jan snowy weather .... /lh)

and now? not only do i have my band back, or should i say, truly present for the first time as long as i've been a fan, but i also have so much new music to love with roots in that love for one of the first 3 bands that got me into all of this, the music that defines my entire state of being, really. and i also managed to heal my relationship with my modern pop punk scene i mentioned earlier thanks to an overwhelmingly positive recent show experience, going to show, thankfully, that all of this stuff can coexist in my life.

point is, above all i'm just lucky & grateful to have finally had them become a part of the live music experience i hold so close, i trust in whatever they have planned next, and i know we'll pull through this break. hell, nothing is going to be as long as the 8 and a half years i made it before seeing them live for the first time, i'm confident in that now.

it's been (going on) ten fuckin years since i've been seeing your face 'round here (affectionate)!!!

[mittensmorgul]

My boyfriend admitted yesterday after finally watching 13.1 that Dean and Cas DO love each other. He has no doubt in his mind that if Cas were female, Destiel would have happened. BUT he sees Dean as straight and doesn't believe anything could happen with Cas in Jimmy's body. I told him that this is heteronormative bi erasure and that as a bisexual, I find it offensive that he makes that assumption. What if these sorts of casual viewer opinions keep Destiel from ever happening? I'm losing hope.

Hi there! And congrats to your boyfriend for seeing the love there. :D

First off, no offense to straight dudes, but the straight dude I’ve been married to for 20 years has absolutely no sense of bifi. Or gaydar. I mean, if he sees two dudes kissing at Pride he’d pick up on it (and there are a few famous people who came out that he wasn’t surprised at all about– George Michael, Rob Halford, he was shocked that anyone was shocked…), but when it comes to closeted bisexuals who deliberately do not want to be detected, especially the way Dean performs dudebro heterosexuality as well as Dean does especially in early seasons, he just has no clue.

*insert that gif of Sam telling Dean he’s overcompensating*

The things about Dean that have been screamingly obvious because I relate to them from personal experience just don’t register to a straight dude who has never once questioned his sexuality (like Sam, for instance). To a person who has experienced it first-hand, a lot of Dean’s behavior reads as signal flares as bright as day. If it were only used for the occasional joke, or rare random things that didn’t fit into a much larger pattern, or if it were just enough to make me sit up and notice once or twice a season, I’d assume it was just a coincidence. But… it’s not a rare random occurrence. It’s something we see in nearly every episode, more and more blatantly as the seasons progress.

I tell everyone to read this:

http://destielhiseyesopened.tumblr.com/post/102023741956/slash-and-subtext-series

It’s a lot to read, yes, but it’s incredibly thorough and the sort of thing your neck will be sore from nodding along in agreement the entire time. :P

As for whether or not the show will go there, which NONE of us can say for sure, the one thing I can say for sure is that it will not be casual viewer opinions that will influence Dabb’s storytelling. He’s said it multiple times, that he’s going to tell this story his way, whatever that might mean in the end. Dude’s not telling. I mean, look at him:

So while it’s great to have hope, because we DESERVE representation in blatant and clear terms, there is no guarantee that we will actually GET it. I mean, that is a very real possibility. It’s why I personally don’t watch the show with any expectation for ANYTHING, you know? Then every new hint that they are taking this somewhere is a pleasant surprise. For me, watching from the standpoint that I EXPECT a certain outcome is just not an enjoyable way to live. It’s just too much to stress about.

And as I’ve said over and over again, just like Dabb, I personally couldn’t give a flying fuck with the mysterious ��general audience” sees when they watch the show. I watch because of what *I* see in the show, because I like analyzing the story, writing meta (with the friendly reminder that “meta” has exactly zero to do with predicting the future of the story… that’s speculation, and aside from being able to read obvious twists and turns in near-future plot points, or understanding general character development arcs and where they could potentially be headed in vague general ways, I DO NOT ENJOY SPECULATION, especially when it involves the sort of detail that a lot of more casual fans seem to expect of meta writers. I AM TIRED OF FOLKS HAVING THE IMPRESSION THAT SPECULATION AND POSITIVITY FOR THE FUTURE OF THE SERIES AND CHARACTERS IS “”””META”””” BECAUSE IT ABSOLUTELY IS NOT.

Sorry for yelling, I needed to put that out there. Comments of “I love your meta!” when referring to headcanons and speculation about endgame destiel is just… missing the entire point. The meta is the long academic character analysis, the comparisons with the current arc to past canon, the examination of episodes THAT ARE ALREADY PART OF CANON. Looking to the future to make guesses about what COULD happen in the future is SPECULATION. NOT META.

I’m so tired of people who do not understand that giving meta writers hate and dismissing EVERYTHING we’ve written because a “prediction” didn’t come true on the show exactly as someone wrote it… A guess of what will happen in the future that doesn’t quite pan out doesn’t invalidate all the ACTUAL meta we’ve all written over the years. Because just like pr is not showrunning, speculation isn’t meta.

*even when the speculation is attached to the bottom of a really long meta post. The speculation bit isn’t the tl;dr of the post. it’s the interesting and fun little bonus bit after you’ve consumed the factual part of the analysis. It’s the little blop of whipped cream on top of the pie that is the actual important content. It’s mostly decorative and just a bit of fun.*

Thanks, this has been a meta writer PSA.)

The point of all that is that none of us have a crystal ball, none of us have some secret insider information into Andrew Dabb’s brain. Despite the fact that we’ve been watching his storytelling over the last 8+ years (yes, he’s been writing for the show since s4, and has written more episodes of Supernatural than any other writer, so we have A LOT of history to look over, not to mention all of s12 and the back ~third~ at least of s11 after he silently took over the showrunning from Carver to look at when trying to understand his pet themes and how he writes), the best we can do is make educated guesses.

I’m not basing my hope for canon on some ability to read the future, I’m basing it on MY ability to look at the entirety of extant canon and be objectively logical about where the story started, where the story is NOW, and as far as individual character development arcs based on having watched them all evolve over twelve plus seasons already…

Well, let’s just say that for *me,* I can see the characters have been on a logical emotional progression over the course of the entire series (that would be the “meta” part of things). As new canon unfolds, and characters continue to develop and interpersonal storylines continue to evolve… here’s a metaphor. The writers are walking the characters down a long hallway with loads of doorways open to potential future development arcs. As they walk past each doorway and don’t veer off course, it’s like they’re closing off logical possibilities to detour into alternate routes. They’re slamming and locking those doors up forever. The closer we get to the end of canon (in whatever nebulous future that the series will reach its end, and NONE of us know when that will be right now), the fewer doorways are left to walk past, and the less logical any detour from what looks (again, from reading the meta and looking back at the entirety of past canon) like the steady progression of development would be.

Does that make sense? I mean, they’re writing themselves into a corner (or into the end of the hallway where there’s only going to be one last exit door to walk through). But again, as long as there’s still hallway ahead of us, they could take an “easier” route or just decide to stop walking altogether and just sort of set up camp at their current point in character development. It wouldn’t really be sensible for the STORY as it stands right now for them to do either of these things, because if they start backtracking looking for a different door the entire narrative falls apart. Whatever they do, they must keep writing forward.

*stops and scrolls up and cries a lil bit at how much I wrote*

Point is, we just don’t know. I’m hopeful, I feel like we DESERVE to be seen and this love story absolutely DESERVES canon acknowledgement for what it is, and that every sign in past canon and every sign the writers are continuing to carry on down this hallway is pointing to it happening at some distant point in the future… but as of right now none of us have any idea what that eventual resolution will look like. What even is canon?

I mean, your boyfriend said he sees that Dean and Cas love each other. Is that canon? What would “qualify” as being legitimately canon? I love @bluestar86′s spec post about how easy it would be to make Dean’s bisexuality textually canon, but I have no idea if we’d ever get an episode stating it so blatantly. We might, though. We did have Dean asking a gay married couple what it was like settling down with another hunter…

The point is, even trying to speculate on what will happen in the future– especially something so unknowable and distant as “endgame,” is honestly impossible. We have no idea what will happen in canon between now and then in specific terms. In the meantime, I’m perfectly content to point and flail at what is actually happening in canon right now and paying exactly zero attention to what “casual viewers” think they’re watching.

I know exactly what I’m watching, and I love it.

Will they ever make it undeniably obvious and clear in canon? I mean, it is undeniably obvious and clear to *me* but everyone has their own personal biases and wishes and checklists of things they feel must happen, and no matter if the series ends with Dean and Cas getting married there will still always be people who deny it was “enough” to make their relationship obvious, you know? I just… don’t have the energy to deal with that level of denialism. It just stresses me out to worry about what “endgame” might look like specifically when as far as we know, “endgame” isn’t even on the table yet.

So by all means, if you can, take that small step back and try and enjoy the continuing story, and don’t put too much stock in anyone’s opinion of what may or may not happen in the future. But most of all, don’t put much much stock in what random straight dudes in the general audience think. Because Andrew Dabb doesn’t. :P

Wow okay that turned into a treatise…