#Internet admin of joy

[experiment1100]

Have you seen this admin

Static: [another admin known as peppermint has sadly went missing, and this time she's one of the best admins]

[If you see her please report her appearance to me since creator is gone]

[Stay safe everyone]

[fannedandflawless]

Professors as Social Media Platforms

1. Severus Snape — Tumblr (dark mode, obviously)

Unsearchable username. Reblogs potion disasters and gothic poetry at 2AM. No tags. No comments. Just layered emotional trauma and an occasional hex.

“He’s been online this whole time. He just never speaks.”

2. Minerva McGonagall — LinkedIn (with terrifying precision)

A CV so flawless it terrifies Ministry recruiters. Endorses Transfiguration and Professional Decency.

“Tenure: Eternal. Patience: Exhausted.”

3. Albus Dumbledore — Reddit

Knows everything. Posts nothing. Occasionally leaves cryptic comments that start philosophical wars.

“User prophecyWatcher_1865 strikes again.”

4. Sybill Trelawney — Pinterest (but cursed)

Boards full of teacup patterns, celestial charts, and unsettling predictions. Half aesthetic, half apocalyptic.

“Today’s vibe: Death… or a new beginning.”

5. Filius Flitwick — Duolingo

Tiny. Cheerful. Slightly too enthusiastic about correct pronunciation. Your streak is his pride and joy.

“Ten points to Ravenclaw for properly rolled Rs!”

6. Pomona Sprout — YouTube (gardening side of the internet)

Uploads low-res but heartwarming videos about herbology. Comments are wholesome chaos.

“This video taught me to love magical compost. Thank you, Professor!”

7. Remus Lupin — WordPress (password protected blog)

Wrote three brilliant posts in 2006. Hasn’t updated since. Still logs in weekly just to reread the comments.

“It was always about the subtext.”

8. Gilderoy Lockhart — Instagram (blue-tick energy)

Heavily filtered. All selfies, no substance. Somehow still gets brand deals from Flourish & Blotts.

“New wand, same charming smile! 💫✨”

9. Dolores Umbridge — Nextdoor

Uses all caps. Reports students for breathing too loud. Wants to ban Centaur-owned businesses.

“Just a neighbourly reminder: no loitering on school grounds after 6PM.”

10. Horace Slughorn — X (formerly Twitter, still self-important)

Knows exactly who to follow and when to retweet. Every post sounds like a dinner party anecdote. Only uses “exclusive” group chats.

“Ah yes, I taught her! Bright girl. Very tweetable.”

11. Rubeus Hagrid — Facebook (but only uses it for photos of magical creatures)

Every post starts with “Bless ‘em.” Half blurry selfies, half emotional rants about dragons. Comments on your post just to say “proud of yeh.”

“Tha’s Fang in his wee jumper. Don’t he look smart?”

12. Poppy Pomfrey — NHS Online (but with magic and no patience)

Diagnoses in 0.5 seconds. Treats in 0.2. You leave the ward cured… and slightly afraid.

“Mr Weasley, this is not a hotel.”

13. Professor Binns — Wikipedia (but the 2004 version)

Outdated. Uneditable. And somehow still being cited. Monotone delivery. Nobody knows when he last logged out.

“Still loading… eternally.” Then… “He died mid-sentence and the syllabus didn’t even notice.”

14. Rolanda Hooch — Strava (but make it brooms)

She tracks your flight patterns and your attitude.Will not hesitate to bench you mid-air.

“You crash it, you clean it.”

15. Quirinus Quirrell — YouTube (Conspiracy Channel Edition)

Starts with potion reviews. Ends in full possession. Comments turned off. For safety.

“This went from ‘fun facts’ to ‘run fast’ real quick.”

16. Alastor Moody — Telegram (but for ex-Aurors only)

Locked. Paranoid. Sends seven messages when you say “hi.” Profile picture is just his magical eye.

“CONSTANT VIGILANCE. Even in group chats.”

⸻ 🐾 Bonus

Argus Filch — Maintenance Admin page Mrs Norris — CCTV in feline form

🧹 Filch — Admin Dashboard (password: pain) Only logs in to block students. 🚨 Mrs Norris — Notification System (with claws) Silent. All-seeing. And somehow already behind you. “Student presence detected. Begin glaring.”

[niennaerso]

i might be a little late to this bc it's past midnight here but i just wanted to celebrate some things in my life that happened because of dan and phil:

1. literal joy, i've been living vicariously through them since 2015 lmao, their videos were a a dose of happiness and hope through the darkest part of my teen years, so i'm glad i never stopped watching them, maybe less intensely but hey i rewatch the sims and golf with friends at least yearly

2. friends! one of my closest internet friends i met through the phandom big bang in 2018 and our fandoms have drastically changed now but we still talk regularly. another friend i met was through a gc that started here on tumblr but moved to whatsapp, and then when we found out we were from the same country we got so excited we started talking in spanish for a bit and the admins kicked us out lmao, anyways she's not on tumblr anymore either but i'm staying at her place when i go to london for tit next year (hopefully) yay

3. muse... oh god they introduced me to muse and i couldn't escape, bc i'm a music nerd they became one of my top 5 fave bands. the time i saw muse live was a milestone in my life, buying a concert ticket with my own money, and going alone, i might have struggled to avoid being trampled in the circle pit in knights of cydonia but i got out of it alive and it's now one of my favorite memories

4. this community ! i've been a lurker since forever and just this year i've been turning this blog into mainly dnp, i never wanted to make a sideblog bc i didn't make much og content so there was no point... look at me now actually using this blog as a blog for my thoughts and shit about dnp, so turns out the point was to feel like an active part of the phandom, and i do. i really do. thanks everyone (especially my mutuals i love y'all so much even if we don't ever talk)

so yeah, i'm really happy <3

[hydrophobicmenace]

Can I just be sappy about the qsmp for a sec? I thought I’d never be able to connect with my culture in a meaningful way since my family moved overseas. Sure, I could keep up with politics and dumb tik tok trends thanks to the internet, but it’s like passively watching the world go by. My friends sometimes forget I haven’t always lived where I live now. Speaking of childhood experiences in their presence almost feels like a lie. 

I’ve met so many people during my time as a qsmp twitter admin. People from my homeland, people who speak my language but live elsewhere, people who are still learning its intricacies. We existed in the shadow of something much bigger than us, of course, but we discovered that we weren’t alone in there. I’ve never really thought about how social media are available in many places around the globe, yet I rarely ever saw past my own little bubble until the qsmp came along. Every tweet I scrolled by on my tl was in a different language then. To this day, I still recognize people’s names and profile pictures. I would never have known them if not for this Minecraft server. I would have never shared their joys, I would have never begun to understand their struggles, I would have never spoken their language. 

We shared stories we wrote in the middle of the night, posted art inspired by our favorite painters and filmmakers, taught history and linguistics to each other. We learned about the inside jokes of new streamers and expanded our friend circles. We watched Cellbit’s RPG and Baghera’s F4 race. We made playlists and wrote wiki pages to help each other keep up with the lore. All these things that were more or less informed by our culture and the people around us, we offered them to the world and received the same thing in return. And you expect me to be normal about the qsmp ending?

I feel sad about the way things have turned out, sometimes. All the time. I am under the impression that for a brief moment, we were able to touch greatness. That we all started caring a little more about each other. But I don’t think that’s gone completely. In fact, if anything stayed it might have been that. For what it’s worth, I’m really grateful that this server existed. That it's no longer up and running hardly matters as long as we, the people, live on.

[simplyclary]

You Made My Life Immensely Better

(Edit by yours truly)

[To be completely honest and somewhat candid, this is just a product of me thinking how the heck am I gonna beat the sentiments I wrote in the Thanksgiving letter and not sound repetitive]

To my dearest TZP Squad,

Here's a letter...

As 2023 draws to a close, I find myself thinking about this rollercoaster of a journey we've shared over the few months that I've been in this beautiful fandom. To each and every one of you who has become a part of my year, I want to express my deepest gratitude.

This year, especially the last 4-5 months, has been a wild ride with ups and downs in between, and in those moments, you have given me warmth, laughter, and a profound sense of connection. From shared smiles to small but lovely interactions, you have brightened the latter part of my year with your presence.

To quote our dearest Alex Claremont-Diaz: "You have made my life immeasurably better".

My dearest TZP Squad, thank you for being the the source of my smile during both the sunny days and stormy nights. Like I said before, if Taylor is the sunshine, you guys are the solar energy. You simply further ignite the positive energy that Taylor gives and I love you all for that.

To those who let me speak my unfiltered thoughts, big or small, know that your support has warmed my heart and your short and sweet replies have made it more meaningful. I am grateful for the shared joy in our collective achievements as a fandom, and what we've achieved this year (a.k.a Taylor seeing the birthday project) is only just the beginning of a beautiful fandom journey.

For the moments of solace and comfort and the unspoken reassurances, thank you. Your empathy and virtual love always melts my heart, and I'll always cherish the sanctuary of this little positive corner on the messy world of the internet.

To the people that I've been interacting with recently and since I joined this lovely fandom family (Josie, Nae, Kay, Lee, Bia, Kate, the admins behind my dearest @/InfoTZP and @/tzpsquads Mari and May), thank you for the meaningful insights, the unexpected laughter, and the undying support and love. You've added yourselves to the fandom chapters of my life story and I am forever thankful for each of you. I may not see your faces, but know that I see you and I appreciate you and everything that you do for the fandom, whether that is organizing projects or providing updates. It's the little things and gestures that matter the most.

Special mentions to @/InfoTZP and @/tzpsquads for sending me DMs after I sent out that Thanksgiving letter last month. Those DMs will forever hold a special place in my heart.

As a new year approaches, I'll carry forward the memories that I've created with you. May we continue to laugh and smile despite the troubles that came our way and will probably continue to come our way.

In a world that can feel chaotic and uncertain, your presence has been and will continue to be a constant source of light and love. December has been a mix of the light and the dark, but I'm glad that we stuck together and united against the dark forces. To quote one of my favorite literary characters (who shares the same name as me), Clary Fairchild: Alone, we're strong. Together, we're unstoppable.

Here's to the moments we've shared, the memories we've created, and the bonds that have made the latter part of this year truly unforgettable.

My dears, all I can really say is thank you! In the many years that I have been in multiple fandoms, I have never been in such a beautiful fandom like this. This is probably the one fandom that I'll forever treasure until time ends. I am lucky to have you (as virtual friends) and for sure, Taylor is lucky to have you who is always there to love, support, cherish and defend him.

Let's continue to share and express the mutual love we have for TZP, whether that be by simply appreciating how good he looks or thirsting over him on a feral level (oh yeah, I see TZP thirst posts daily), let's just continue to do it because it's one of my most favorite things about this little fandom family of ours.

The fandom is just as special as Taylor and I’m excited to spend the future loving and supporting him with you guys. The TZP squad is one of the best fandoms with the sweetest people and I’m just having a pleasant ride with you. I’m here for the long run and I promise to stand by Taylor and you guys until time tells me that it is already time to stop.

Wishing you all a new year filled with love, laughter, and the continued warmth of cherished connections.

I'll (virtually) see you at the fashion weeks, movie premieres and magazine photoshoots in 2024 ;)

All my love,

Clarissa

[landinrris]

the fact that if lando really is overseas somewhere with no internet access as max f says, then i love the fact that he has so obviously give his sm admin a bunch of pics including several from his travels with martin and co and asked him to post them and to comment on things and post stories during uk hours. all so that the gossips are convinced he is in the uk or monaco so that he can actually have a vacation in peace for once without people stalking him. it brings me a lot of joy. (gonna try and contain my eyeroll that max f let it out of the bag).

Fully acknowledging I am probably naive to the way those things work, I imagine he drafted some picture posts out and then peaced out. In my mind, the (at least) four of them are hiding out in some house for some much needed and last minute r&r before things get crazy, and 99% of people are none the wiser. Because why would he not be nearby ok February 1st? As it should be, tbh

(Also lol the way I was also in the groupchat being like "the irony is not lost on me" 😂)

[skull-survivors-rotomblr]

any opinion about sunny's whole death thing?

Wait, I’m sorry? Somethin else happen? I asked Ada about the ‘whole death thing’ and they don’t seem to know either?

Knew about the Sharpedo incident but like, did I miss another thing? I been off the Internet a good bit. Fill me in?

- Demi 💕

ADMIN EDIT: I just saw the post and sent Sunny and Joy my well-wishes. I’m relieved he’s alive and that he has such a wonderful partner to help care for him at this time. All I can hope is that he recovers swiftly and nothing of the sort happens to him again.,

[hoghtastic]

https://www.tumblr.com/hoghtastic/785017854403772416/hes-really-mocking-his-fans-with-his-losing

Yes but no. you’re just embarrassed he knows about what this specific group of fans on this blog do and say. He is mocking you. And that Stan account isn’t the one who is participating in this behavior so them posting about it is valid. I would delete my entire blog if I were the admin.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, anon. 😊 And for your kind (although unsolicited) recommendation, which I will respectfully not follow.

And even though I don't really need to, I'll give you my reasons: — First and foremost, out of respect for the people who've been participating on the blog for its almost 2 years of existence. Everyone took a bit of their time and energy to read the blog and write their opinions, therefore, I don't feel I have the right to throw all of that away just because it doesn't cater to some people's tastes; — Secondly, because whether we agree or not with everything that's written here, it is undoubtedly a raw, uncensored, unfiltered archive of the state of the fandom through time. Maybe not everything is positive, but all of it is honest. So even if people decide to move on and no longer send in asks, or if my personal life prevents me from being here, the blog will continue to exist. As an archive, or a memoir of the fandom, if you will. Maybe someone will find joy in reading it in the future? Or just laugh at how some things were unnecessarily taken so seriously? Who knows! But I personally do not care. The blog is here, and it will continue to be here. Do with it what you will.

And because of this, allow me to return the kindness and give you an advice of my own as well. If this blog's existence bothers you personally, I would suggest you make peace with the fact that it will continue to exist and simply move on. Or actually make use of Tumblr's block button and curate a better internet experience for yourself. Things will be much more peaceful for everyone, I believe.

Thank you for still taking the time to participate on the blog, and I wish you a great weekend! 😊

[time-official]

with all the respect in the world i was agreeing with you. i do NOT like america's current administration despite the weird amnt of ppl in the us who do, just as how i'm sure is the case for literally any country's citizens. people contain multitudes, and if you genuinely think my attitude was directed at you rather than the fuckass disaster that is trump's admin (whilst i am disabled, cursed with the wrong body, have a plethora of mental health bs on the daily and am ALSO poor), then i don't know what to say. i don't want to have to see any headlines about trump that aren't his death, because he has consistently constructed bullshit that has and will continue to endanger the lives of my loved ones and myself, and it has leaked over into other countries, but it is NOT any american's sole fault that trump is a disgusting piece of shit. the only one to blame for an action is the person it's hand is attached to, not the voices who cheered because they were time and time again misled.

seeing non-americans online who talk like there aren't numerous americans who DON'T like trump, or who don't wish trump's third assassination attempt would show up in the news already honestly just makes me so depressed. i hate knowing that, for no fault of their own, everyone else seems to think we either don't have enough of a backbone or just don't want to have one. my original reblog was frustration because YEAH, we as americans SHOULDN'T have to depend on politicians who are so used to a culture of profiting from representing us to MAYBE have a spark of clarity and realize, oh yeah no this shit's kinda fucked up! let's stop doing that!

i don't talk about current events in the us on my blog, and i haven't since i was a teenager who hoped more of the world and believed that more people were good and not morally corrupt and moral sellouts, because it's depressing. i go on the internet because of the joy it once brought me in fandom forums and art sites; i continue to do so only because it's the one thing i can do some days, because my country is a cesspit- not because of it's citizens, but because of it's leaders.

americans are not stupid, we're just tired.

[sophia-epistemia]

re: taxes on computer, WoW on computer, and the fear of addiction to technology stuff

for me, when I say things like “I should be able to have taxes machine that isn’t WoW machine” the issue isn’t really fear of joy or fear of frivolity or whatever.

It’s that I have other stuff I want to do, I want to lift weights, I want to play sports with friends, I want to go to the club and dance, I want to study photography, and write essays, and read novels, and go on hikes.

and I know that if I have access to internet machine I will instead spend essentially as much time as possible mindlessly pulling the dopamine lever of porn/league of legends/WoW/short-form video/more porn/etc.

I really feel a lack of self-control in this matter, and it’s incredibly frustrating, but while I find long-term slow success tasks mentally and emotionally satisfying, if short-term success tasks are available I’ll essentially always prioritize them. I know this because I have a pre-paid phone/internet plan, and whenever I don’t pay up in advance and have no phone/internet for a week or two, I experience an initial 36-48 hour period of distress followed by an immense level of productivity, effort towards longer term goals, and the ability to apply myself tirelessly to my outside world hobbies and passions.

I really just don’t do distraction well. I always end up turning the phone back on so I can handle work tasks, and then I’ll backslide into a shut-in neckbeard.

it might be ADHD, but I wasn’t like this as a teenager, since my parents were hippies who didn’t believe in smartphones or online. It all went sideways in college when I had unrestricted access.

I also need to go back on my anxiety meds, that helps a little.

well tbf i have that too. maybe a less crippling version, idk, "vulnerability to skinnerbox traps" is obviously a Trait That Varies Across People

my way to (partially) address that is to *plan* and note shit to do in my phone calendar. and not fearing to overkill: if i have a Serious Admin or Medical Appointment, it beeps the day before to remind me to goto sleep or prepare whatever i'll need. then beeps three times on the day, from 3hrs before, leaving 1h-1h30 to get there after the last reminder depending on the distance i expect between where i'll likely be before and the place that i need to go to.

in practice it's really simple: get The Habit of noting shit and set as many reminders as is easy in the ui and useful to make your shitty brain that is bad at being a brain Get Shit Done.

my The Habit grew from anxiety, but i find that the little peak of stress when i'm being given a date and time is *useful*, as i solve the stress by noting the task. so even tho this method relies on an aversive feeling, it also works by resolving it immediately, and it's not that bad anyway. feels better than missing an appointment at least.

but ok. everyone will not just suddenly develop mind-hacking methods to avoid the baited traps. that may be a problem. but how can it be solved? what constraints are there on the space of solutions and should there be more, and why, and who gets to choose them?

i ~always default to maximal personal freedom because the two sins, to me, are Coercion and Unfairness. but even i know that there are trade-offs.

so yeah my values make me feel that things that make life harder for me are valuable enough to keep around, that it's my problem, that even if it's a problem for lots of people, they are also the ones who would be worst hit by the blunt, clumsy, oppressive solutions that most of those offering solutions are offering.

at least, self-imposed coercion harms nobody else as a first-order effect, so i find that one Permissible. 's not like i haven't permanently bound my flesh in steel chains as a vow to all my future selves ⛓️

way i see it, if the skinnerbox traps are better than life, then life needs updated to be more rewarding, not the skinnerbox traps banned. i am an ambitious transhumanist like that

[opalprinzessin]

☾ MY PERSONAL INTERNET RULES ☽

I have major issues with my internet consumption and I want to be proactive about it, I've already applied some of those:

ℝ𝔼𝔻𝔻𝕀𝕋: I tend to find myself visiting it too often, and I fear it is affecting negatively my mindset. Everything around us, we catch and internalize, even though we say we don't absorb it. It's so subconscious, insidious. Nasty. Evil, almost. So my personal rule is: Do NOT visit this website within morning hours and work hours; keep this for the evening. I limit myself to my local subreddit and that's it. This website did help me tremedously in the past about topics I needed help, but I find myself reading so much drama and down-dragging content and it clutters my mind for nothing. i want to dedicate my mind to me, not others!

𝔻𝕀𝕊ℂ𝕆ℝ𝔻: Oh my god this is so complicated for me. I want to dedicate time to servers that genuinely benefit to me, so I've taken the initative to mute channels like vent channels, useless content channels, et cetera. And myself I admin several massive girl discords and I want to nuture the amazing communities that grow there but I want to focus on myself and my own growth. So for this one, my personal rule is: Leave servers that don't benefit me, mute channels that don't benefit me, and again, limit time to only in the evening. The goal is to again help declutter my mind, and passively curate the content I see and thus, internalize. I don't want to HAVE to be proactive about it, constantly thinking about it.

𝕐𝕆𝕌𝕋𝕌𝔹𝔼: I both hate and love this website. I hate this website because of its addictive content, but love this website because of it's inspiring, informative, educative content. But I won't do anymore the behaviours I used to do (scrolling mindlessly on the Shorts, watching an embarassing number of videos, and watching content that made me angry, depressed). Yes I'm denouncing and shaming myself for my past behaviour because I want to admit to myself the truth and just go towards the true person I am. Now I've curated a VERY short list of youtubers that bring something to my life (I count nine!!! It used to be like 50 not so long ago) and I set my stuff to only show my subscribed youtubers. So no clickbait videos, rage-inducing content, all that. To summarize, my personal rule is: Keep myself to this short list only, do NOT watch reels. Either it's long form content that brings me something, or it's nothing!

𝕎ℍ𝔸𝕋 𝕀 𝕊ℍ𝕆𝕌𝕃𝔻 𝔽𝔸𝕍𝕆ℝ: Browsing on "quiet" (aka non-political, non-negative, doesn't suscits negative emotions) social media if i want to be on the internet. It means listening to chill youtube videos, good music that brings me joy and happiness, focus on creating rather than consumption, favoring other activities than SCREENS!!! like you know, books, walks, workouts, socializing, deep conversations, helping at my local shelter. If I have to go on the internet to search for something I NEED to be very precise and quick about it and LEAVEEEEE. I'm so done with how it occupies so much my mind. Sooo done.

[tinkywinkyschauffeur2]

wild times in the spare change fandom

(there is canonically rpf, the landscape of which changed over the course of the band’s existence, the original popular pairing of which was Bridie x Cardinal with Ishani x Leon as a secondary pairing. They’re obviously not “canon” but with none of them having public statements out regarding their sexualities I understand where they’re drawing the chemistry from, similarly in a meta way, in some delusional future in which i am famous, I would also understand the context in which someone would want to ship that. There was slash fic at this time but the gay ships got more popular the longer the band existed and there were more interviews to pull from and the four of them just got more comfortable joking with each other about stuff like that.

I’d like to go on a small tangent about Leon because in a bizarre turn of events he has slowly marinated some flavour while i wasn’t looking and now I have things to say about him. I think he gets treated similarly to the way that Hozier is treated. “WHY DOES HE DRIVE THE GOLF CART LIKE THAT IM CRYINGGGGGGG 😭😭😭”

especially the way that people lose their minds over those angelic back lit live photos

Though with Hozier ppl are like ‘shout out to hozier for inventing love’, (talking about his lyricism) but that doesn’t happen with Leon because he doesn’t write the lyrics to the songs — although Vivian thinks that he should. Instead it’s about the things that he says in interviews and the weird existential poetic shit that he says far too offhandedly for comfort. He ended up getting banned from talking in interviews bc he kept turning simple questions into anxious musings about the universe and no one knew how to move on from it.

‘You know, and I wonder sometimes if any of it really matters. In a world reclaimed by plants, would anything that I’ve done last? Soil gunking up the inside of cassette tapes and that. My single bass line, the last thing left of me, would be silently stored on the millions of records it was printed into, never to be played again. And then I wonder if I have any right to worry about it at all. I think it’s selfish in a way, to care about a legacy.’

‘Leon the question was do you have a favourite guitar that you own.’

‘Oh.’

he was mad about getting banned for a while until an alternative type culture show requested an interview with him and he and the interviewer just sat on the floor on sequinned pillows and spoke at length about that kind of philosophical stuff and the fans lost their fucking shit let me tell you. VCR’ed to death. and then there were copies made of the copies bc everyone needed their own copy. following the collapse of the band it eventually was reincarnated (2011) into who could get the most artistic generation loss coupled with super distorted and slowed spare change music something something metaphor for corruption. idk he found out about it later and was like. you know what. it was very traumatic but yeah this is comforting in a very weird way.

side note he’d be number 1 vance joy listener on spotify

anyway

There was a series of some sort that he was extremely invested in (which i haven’t invented the barest trace of a premise for yet.) and was later the appointed president of the local fan club for it, after being a loyal submitter of fanfic for the zine for several years. and oh yeah baby we’re on some trekkie type shit here. Leon Barta most prolific slash fic writer in the whole prefecture.

this is the early 90s btw. he changed mediums with the dawn of the internet. i’ll explain the way the trallum internet works later but he had a personal page that linked from the main fanclub page (think old geocities/neocities) where he posted his work. That page was later taken down as spare change began to pick up traction and someone found it and panic ensued as he didn’t remember the login to it and he was freaking out so badly that he convinced dick to call the admin people at The Internet to get it taken down from the other end (damage control now, ask questions later). neglected to mention what was actually ON the page tho

Ishani figured it out pretty quickly though and maintained her poker face honourably but broke down the end.

She knew because she was his long suffering editor and spent time in the public library with him while he built the website in the first place.

Their high school time was strange. they both identified as lesbians at that time for context and both agreed with the concept of ‘yes i am a lesbian but i do not like the concept of participating in lesbian sex. maybe I’m just lying to myself’. fast forward eeerereewwewewewweeerrrreeeupp. asexual lesbian and straight trans man. it all made sense to them in retrospect but at the time ishani spent most of her time being endlessly frustrated at anything and everything to distract from the main issue (complicated feelings too messy for her to want to deal with. Very heteronormative in that it’s a given that she’d marry a man, but that’s a deep issue in conflicts between culture and scripture and victorian colonisation and she really just wants to get through school with good grades right now. unpacks it later in her 20s but using aimless frustration as a coping mechanism with being uncomfortable never went away which is again a problem in itself) and leon had some kind of weird guilt complex over being a lesbian but writing purely about men fucking other men.

sorry side tangent

there was considerable public jealousy of bridie when she and leon announced they were together (mostly the leon fan folk who were angry they couldn’t get with him and also are fourteen and need to get some sleep bc they have school tomorrow). and then natural follow up is oh okay so cardinal x ishani.

C: oh no we’re just friends :)

I: EW no he’s gross look at him. he is like a brother to me. a gross yuck BROTHER. EW. why the fuck would i be in love with him that’s disgusting

C: :( :( man i thought you loved me :( u were literally the best guest at my wedding

I: SHIT MAN I AM SO SORRY. i do love you. you;re still objectively gross tho.

C; yeah okay fair enough

i must confess also that Leon’s entire character was originally based off the specific look that peter hook makes at 5:14 in the perfect kiss music video after playing the drums while their actual drummer is playing a keyboard with one finger like he;s trying to laser it with his eyes and their singer is going wild with a cowbell.

he’s not like that anymore tho he buys plants from the hardware store and is convinced that if he thinks too many bad vibes they will die and also keeps a sourdough starter and has to feed it and bridie refers to it as ‘the beast’

the following is a bunch of pictures that i imagine their house looks like

t4t adhd stoner + chronically anxious and plagued with visions

thank you thank you i’m here all night

[myhandisforced]

More Pokemon

Pokemon character names I've tagged (I might delete this or shove it to the bottom, depending on how often I fuck it up while re-tagging)

Pokemon Trainers

PT [Player] | PT Red PT Blue PT Leaf PT Gold PT Silver PT Kris [nope] PT May PT Brendan PT Wally PT Dawn PT Lucas PT Barry PT BW PT XY PT Moon PT Lillie PT Sun PT Victoria PT Victor

Nurse Joy Officer Jenny Amber Fuji The XY Gremlins PT Lisia PT Zinnia

(PT Blue's Sister, PT Eusine, the green-haired hippie,

)

Pokemon Trainers (Unnamed)

Trainers of the Internet

PT Ash PT Gary PT Brock (anime) PT Misty (Anime)

Pokemon Prof. [___]: Oak Elm Birch Sycamore Willow

Gym Leader [_____]: Gym Leader Brock Gym Leader Misty (_ Bugsy _ Morty) Gym Leader Clair (_ Roxanne, _ Brawly, _ Wattson, _ Flannery, _ Norman, _ Winona, Gym Leaders Tate & Liza) Gym Leader Wallace (_ Juan) Gym Leader Kabu | (If both leader and E4, use whichever came first)

E4 [______________]: (E4 Agatha) Champion Steven Stone

Pokemon Antagonist Teams | Team Rocket Team Aqua Team Magma

Rocket Leader Giovanni Aqua Leader Archie Magma Leader Maxie Galactic Leader Cyrus *Skull Boss Guzma(* Aqua Admin Matt Aqua * Admin Shelley * Magma Admin Courtney * Magma Admin Tabitha*)

Specific artists: otiksimr's pdp

Eevee vs Eevees Pink Butterfree ZG Cells (Yes I am going to be like that.)

Galar League (tagged for unique aesthetic)

[rileyisanerd]

story time. gather round kiddies i’m a warrior cats elder telling tall tales to the kits…. Ok time for the story of the craziest roblox game custody battle i had ever witnessed.

BACK IN MY DAY around 2016-2017 there were these two groups called virtuality world and tcf studios. they both made a bunch of animal roleplay games but i far preferred tcf studios over virtuality world and made quite a few friends on their games (most notably their wolf and fox themed games “howling heart” and “fox heart”). i became friends with one of the admins (their user was servinemaster) and i even got a custom avatar in one of their games and it was fucking awesome.

HOWEVER. one day all of tcf’s games were shut down. their Reasoning???????? VIRTUALITY WORLD STOLE THEM. APPARENTLY VIRTUALITY WORLD JUST “LENT OVER THE GAMES” TO TCF STUDIOS AND NOW IT WAS TIME TO TAKE THEM BACK. IT WAS GENUINELY SO INSANE. tcf studios died with its games and virtuality world reuploaded their most popular game howling heart under a collection called “forgotten worlds” (which is Absolutely Foul might i add) that was SUPPOSED to compile all of tcf studios’ games but to this day the only one that ever reopened and received updates was howling heart

also remember that tcf admin servinemaster??? ONE TIME THEY JOINED ME WHILE I WAS ROLEPLAYING IN A VIRTUALITY WORLD GAME AND TOLD ME TO LEAVE. I DONT THINK THEY WERE EVER AWARE THAT I WAS LIKE 8 YEARS OLD WHICH IS CRAZY BECAUSE I DIDN’T ACT GROWN AT ALL.

please tell me someone besides me remembers this event. oh the joys of growing up on the internet in the mid 2010s

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 1, 4/19/2023 - Hermitcitizen Hub Online!

Issue Masterpost About The Overseer

This week, the Hermitcitizen Hub launched to the joy of Hermitcraft fans across the internet, providing a space for all of us to geek out about Hermitcraft and our own newly-minted Hermitcitizens.

Since its debut on Tumblr on April 12th and subsequent spread to Twitter on April 13th, the Hub has grown to a staggering 500 citizens, a number that has only increased since the writing of this article.

With this influx of new citizens, the Admins are looking for more moderators in order to keep the server safe and fun for everyone involved! More information on applications is available in #announcements, for all those interested.

This week has been productive to say the least, and with each passing day comes new things in the Hermitcitizen Hub! For starters, mod applications are open! Full information can be found in #announcements.

PluralKit was also recently added, which we would also like to remind is not to be used for roleplay! PluralKit is created for systems in the server who would like to use it- again, more info can be found in #announcements or #bot-channel!

Limited Life episodes are in full swing, so any and all talk about it should be kept to #Limited Life: Spoiler Zone so if people haven’t watched it yet they don’t get unnecessary spoilers.

Lastly, please make sure you update your internet browser for safety reasons- Safari and Google Chrome have both released updates that are important to keeping your internet time safe. Here’s to another great week, citizens!

Now onto other news below the cut!

Please keep in mind there are many news featured today and will take a bit of scrolling.

BREAKING NEWS - Former King’s Court Makes Plans for Revenge

By Virtual

Former members of King Ren’s court held a meeting this week that could spell disaster for the fallen King of Hermitcraft. The court has scattered to the corners of the server in the weeks since the fateful revolution, but they have gathered once again with a single mission in mind: Making Ren pay. 

In the wake of King Ren’s rise to and subsequent removal from power, the lower members of the court have seen their diamonds and status go down the drain. As it would seem, being on the losing side of a monarchy does very little for one’s coffers. Some would expect a meeting of the King’s former court to end in schemes to return Ren to the throne, but it seems that the former King’s disastrous reign has soured the hearts of the people against the possibility of King Ren making a return. An anonymous source from within the king’s court notes, “There [has] always been a huge dissatisfaction…between the lower court members.” They then went on to describe at least five separate counts of espionage against King Ren. This dissatisfaction does not seem to have disappeared with the monarchy, and many are willing to go far to get their pay. 

However, though the former King’s diamonds are surely as far gone as a Scarland worker’s sanity, the ex-monarch’s court doesn’t seem to be looking for material payment. Instead, they’re looking for something more like karmic retribution. Another anonymous member of the court summarized their mission with the phrase: "Karma is a bitch, and today we shall be bitches.” It’s not quite a worker’s union, but the newly formed Court of Vengeance is looking to get their fair pay just the same.

For those concerned about the impacts this may have on their chances of death, fear not. Reliable sources say that much of the court has sworn off true violence against former King Ren and any other server members. Citizens should be on the lookout for the occasional trap, but beyond that the Court of Vengeance doesn't seem to be taking their lost diamonds and dignity as an invitation for all-out-war. What they do seem to be looking for is something more dramatic, fantastic, and royally frightening for Ren the Dog. Safe to say, watch out for fireworks, and stay tuned this week for what is looking to be one hell of a show. 

Weekly Weather Report

By Rainy N. Autumn

Thursday - SUNNY, 40% chance of falling anvils serverwide between 6AM and 6PM (GMT)

Friday - STORMS, 95% chance of the Limited Life finale. Frequent lightning strikes anticipated

Saturday - RAIN, 2-5cm of precipitation expected. Flash floods possible. Perimeter residents are advised to stay off the bedrock until 9AM Sunday (GMT)

Sunday - CLOUDY, be aware that low visibility may make it harder to spot Scar’s dragon if it gets loose again

Monday - SUNNY, 75% chance that Tango returns to streaming on Mondays. Expect phantoms around Deep Frost Citadel after sunset

Tuesday - SUNNY, the chance of getting hit by a falling anvil is low but never zero

Wednesday - WINDY, citizens are advised to exercise caution near Nether portals that are outdoors in the Overworld, as strong gusts may travel through

Days Since Last...

By Il

We all know that Hermitcraft is basically a safety haven and no OSHA violations have ever happened so let’s see how this week our table of days since last work accident are doing:

Ancient Ruins (BdoubleO base): 0 - please walk in caution, holes in the floor are not part of the final design we hope.

Total Chaos: 0 - we would like to remind everyone that tunnel to Total Chaos shoots fireworks that will kill you.

Perimeter: 0 - flying anvils, dragons, slimes, wardens, the usual stuff.

Etho’s alien base: 0 - do not sleep under trees inside the building, they are a tree farm.

False’s base: 0 - getting ominous banners is a hard job and we salute all of you.

Scarland: 0 - HotGuy still going strong with his shots, if you still have arrows stuck in you ask someone for help with removing them.

Rift/Grumbot laboratory: 0 - if you get stuck inside Grumbot please scream loudly, and if you are stuck behind the Rift then pray, we will try to get you out.

Gem’s village: 0 - sparring with your boss is technically not an accident, but it still causes workplace death so we count it. Aside, someone got stuck inside the head of the Gem statute.

Hypno’s base: 0 - dear beekeepers, remember that bees actually can sting and are not huggable.

Jevin’s cathedral and castle: 0 - fall damage is strong in this one, remember about your elytras.

Dwarven Keep: 0 - railings are there for a reason, and the reason is to stay behind them.

OMEGA cave: 0 - I know that iskallium looks tasty but it is in fact inedible.

Pinball Machine: 0 - you cannot parkour on the letters on the side, we checked.

Keralis’ base: 0 - lava pool may look tasty but it is not soup, please restrain from eating.

Mumbo’s Vault: 0 - falling into the screeching crevice will not end well same with being squished by vault door.

Pearl’s Alien Landscape: 0 - I know that the trees look tasty, but they are not edible and the hospital in there is not working, so please refrain from that.

Gigacorp: 0 - going inside creeper farm will blow you up and going into pumpkin farm will squish you. Crastle: 0 - the warden is still in the Vault and it is hungry

StressMonster101: 0 - drinking expired enchanTEA will end with tummy hurting or worse.

Decked Out: 0 - splashing into redstone will not end well, falling down unfinished landscape will not end well, falling down the Citadel will not end well and last but not least cuddling the ravagers usually ends up poorly.

TFC’s branch mine: 0 - when you stumble upon a ravine, look up.

VintageBeef’s map island: 0 - beware, phantoms and entity cramming. TCG Arenas: 0 - guys, you will get squished by an anvil if you stand for five seconds.

Welsknight’s Village area: 0 - do not go near Garry, there is a huge hole under there.

xB’s base: 0 - the ravagers in the zoo are not a part of mini zoo, do not pet them.

Xisuma’s ribcage: 0 - when you step out of his portal, stop, think and then move.

Zedaph’s place: 0 - whatever Zed asks you to drink is probably an OSHA violation.

Atlantis: 0 - we encourage you to be careful when walking on the high spaces and generally when walking because you never know when Jevin will strike.

Shopping district: 0 - it is encouraged to be careful while doing anything as there were seeing if loose wardens as well as wild HotGuy, when throwing away loose TCG packs stay behind the chains, when leaving iBuy go through the door and when going close to the Entity - don’t.

Spawn Village: 0 - the ravager near the mattress store is not a great cuddler, Elven Cookies are not mob proof and try not to fail at Octodrop next time.

Game Updates

By Winter @winterwhipbird

Welcome back to the Games Update! Decked Out just saw its first test runs! Zedaph went 3/12 in testing, giving him a 25% win rate. I’m sure the wranglers are proud of their ravagers! Decked Out is still being worked on and we’ll be delivering an update when it opens. 

TCG on the other hand is wrapping up with the tournament. Currently for the Semi-Final bracket we have ZombieCleo vs xBcrafted and Docm77 vs EthoSlab. Viewers are reminded that if you do choose to go see either match, beware of falling anvils, as it is not a Scar safe area. If you’re not one to look up, or you’re a zombie, make sure to bring a hard hat, and always remember to wear sunscreen. If you’re looking to get some snacks during the games just pop by Prickly Punch! You can purchase cactus drinks and prickly pears for one diamond each.

For the Results we’ll be sure to bring you coverage of these exciting matches, so stay tuned! Send your predictions to predictions@thehermitnews.org.*

The high scores are as follows: With the Most Games Played is iJevin with a total of 15 games. The Most Wins go to iJevin with 9 wins. The Most Losses goes to Joe Hills with a total of 8 losses. The best win percentage currently goes to EthoSlab with an 80% chance of winning.

*not a real email address

Now lets look to some interviews and going-ons with the hermitcitizens day-to-day lives!

Affiliate Happenings

By Roo @nova-skittle and Jamie

What Have the Citizens Been Doing?? The affiliate channels, put in place with the rest of the server, give citizens the opportunity to connect with other citizens living near, working for, or otherwise connected to specific Hermits!

BdoubleO100: Nothing important. Morning Gorgious. Cubfan135: Good news, they’re fans of Cub. Nothing has changed. All is well in the world. Docm77: They’re planning to start a union. Finally, the dragon is dangerous as hell. Also! It has been discovered that the perimeter is indeed radioactive. Better think carefully about going to work for him, it seems all of the staff are starting to be radioactive themselves. Oh, and Doc is afraid of catboys. EthosLab: “Ninjas work in the shadows”, apparently. Aka, no one feels like working for him. FalseSymmetry: They’re just discussing how awesome False is. Dw, we fully agree. GoodTimesWithScar: This just in - cat ears or elf ears are now part of the Scarland Staff uniform! All of the Scarland staff have been shot by Hotguy at least once, seems a bit sus, no?? Visitors eating the gravel and cobble paths has become an increasing problem at Scarland and staff says they will revoke your visitors path if you are found nomming! Staff repeatedly says they are not liable for any harm, sickness, or strange curses that come to you after visiting! After the many incidents with Hotguy, staff has printed out a pamphlet stating how to avoid such attacks, and deal with those that are unavoidable. Grian: One of Grian’s fixers got stuck inside of Grumbot! Lemon is unhurt, but may be slightly traumatized after being unable to get out of the giant robot. The Fixer robots were quick to the scene and easily got them out. Now that the Rift is closed, a member of Grian’s staff is ALSO stuck behind it! We don’t know how they got behind the Rift in the first place, but there’s no foreseeable way to get them out now. Other staff members have been contemplating ways, but nothing stands out so far. We should likely be concerned about Grian’s staff, given that these incidents happened within a week of each other. GeminiTay: The only thing that has gone on is that only two people are Geminis. I MEAN WHAT WE’RE ALL GEMINIS!!! We are all Geminis who just so happened to be hired by GeminiTay! Hypnotizd: No news! Currently hiring: Hypno affiliates. I know you’re out there. Where are you hiding.   iJevin: There’s been no activity. Wheres the Jev affiliates huh.  ImpulseSV: They’re been nice and discussing their shifts :)) And where they work in iBuy, which is fair, considering how large of a building it is. Iskall85: hallo! JoeHills: They’re just enjoying themselves. Keralis: They’ve come to the conclusion that Keralis is just a creature. Just a guy :)  MumboJumbo: They ate a lot of redstone and discussed their favorite redstone components. Mumbo am i right. PearlescentMoon: Announcement: she’s just a silly guy in a silly world. The end. Rendog: They might be rising an army. Don’t worry tho they’re a bunch of friendly theater kids.  StressMonster101: They say hello :D  TangoTek: Ravagers seem to attack workers despite being trained! Also I think a sleepover is being planned? In Decked Out? Which will be very safe I’m sure. TinFoilChef: They’re miners :)  VintageBeef: They’re just chilling! Dw there will be plenty of TCG talk soon.  Welsknight: They’re posting various images of welsknight. I dont know what else was expected.  xBCrafted: They say hi as well! Xisumavoid: he do be rockin.  Zedaph: They’re taking photographs of everyone around. By the end of this week they’ll probably have more Zedvancements than the man himself. ZombieCleo: They’re talking about working in a flower shop :) also i missed the episode of limited life where ZombieCleo dies in a glue trap, when’s that one going to be up? HC Recap: People sure are there!

Decked Out 2

By Winter @winterwhipbird

The greatly acclaimed game is continuing in steady progress! Winter has talked with several of the employees of Decked Out 2 to give us an interview from within the Deep Frost Citadel

<Winter> First of all, thank you for joining me today to tell me about how Decked Out Two is going. I have a few questions about how the game is going. First of all do you even get paid?

<ShadowsCome> In diamonds? no, not at all <redstoneman> Paid in experience! <glypharia> I’m not sure if he knows half of us exist <Azalea_Bush_Heart> I don't think half of us are even employed imma be honest <ShadowsCome> In here you either get paid in experience, emeralds or whatever you can find on chests. (In response to Azalea) Yeah that's fair... we ain't technically employed here. <rainyinautumn> I'm literally just doing this for fun, so…

<Winter> Oh, that certainly breaks some workplace laws(in reference to the no pay thing). Does anyone plan on playing the game once you finish it?

<Azalea_Bush_Heart> absolutely not :D <glypharia> Nope! <ShadowsCome> I've died to enough ravagers while fixing hazard doors, don't need more of those on my stats <redstoneman> Nope! I am afraid of ravagers. I don't go inside the caverns at all. <rainyinautumn> I've seen the ravager death statistics from testing. no plans to play it myself, I'll be busy anyway

<Winter> Does anyone have a favorite place in the citadel?

<Azalea_Bush_Heart> Pearls room on lvl 2, I eat lunch there a lot :D <glypharia> The back entrance! I like the stairs <ShadowsCome> outside of the game? Gotta love the middle tower, you can see most of the server from there <rainyinautumn> My office. It's way down in the basement by the game itself, but it's where I do all the reviews of game footage and sort stats. Very cozy. <redstoneman> i kinda like just being in the spaghetti!... the redstone stuff, that is <Azalea_Bush_Heart> I got lost in the spaghetti once <ShadowsCome> yeah the spaghetti is fun to be in <glypharia> it’s so weird in there

<Winter> is there anyone that you're excited to see in the dungeon?

<ShadowsCome> Etho. 100% <Azalea_Bush_Heart> I used to be excited to see revenger #3, but they've been replaced by a fake :( <glypharia> Scar, just to see him die every time <redstoneman> shh ... whaat... nothing happened to beast 3... <glypharia> rest in peace ravager #3 <rainyinautumn> Can't wait to run stats on Etho. <ShadowsCome> I want to watch the crazy strats some people are going to try to pull <Azalea_Bush_Heart> hermit wise I guess Scar? I like his building style and its the only chance I get to see him where he's not shooting me <redstoneman> i'll second etho, he was great in the first one! keralis as well!

<Winter> has anyone placed bets on who will be slain the fastest?

<ShadowsCome> not yet, but I think some of us will want day 1 stats before betting <Azalea_Bush_Heart> hey guys we should place bets on who dies fastest, I vote scar <rainyinautumn> I mean. I don't think anyone can outdo the wranglers honestly.(There was a lot of agreement on this point) <glypharia> i don’t think we’ve placed bets yet but i vote scar <redstoneman> common opinion is scar! Lol

<Winter> is anyone going to be monitoring the tango cam/will you use DO2 as a haunted mansion?

<redstoneman> i'll definitely watch some games! and it's already pretty haunted lmao so yeah <ShadowsCome> I would love to manage or monitor the camera for a bit! <glypharia> honestly watching the games sounds like a good down time activity <Azalea_Bush_Heart> I would rather not watch the camera but might for funsies if I get bored <rainyinautumn> I monitor cams all the time. Great for data collection. <ShadowsCome> we might have to set up a watch party for some players I think <redstoneman> we can place bets on those

<Winter> Will you allow other citizens to come watch/place bets on those matches, and if so who will they be able to contact?

<redstoneman> i don't see why not! <ShadowsCome> televised runs? We would have to ban hermits from getting in those in case secrets get revealed... but otherwise I don't see why not <rainyinautumn> Personally I frown upon betting on matches, but I'm not going to stop people from doing it. For me, the joy is in watching the game play out instead of hinging on certain outcomes! For others it might be different. <ShadowsCome> you just have to find whoever's on shift at the moment and they might be able to tell you where we're watching <redstoneman> hm true, so long as the viewers aren't looking to cheat by watching the games. maybe at the end of the game we can make a highlight reel or something lol <ShadowsCome> we all trust the honor system, Mr. Tek included

<Winter> That is very good thing to do. I guess in a few more weeks we will have to check back in on you guys and see if your predictions change. Thank you so much for this interview.

<Azalea_Bush_Heart> of course, please let the public know we are in desperate need of diamonds <redstoneman> thanks for interviewing us! <glypharia> thank you! <rainyinautumn> It was fun! I think most of us are like the dungeon master and don't get out very much, so it was good getting to talk to you!

ADVERTISEMENTS

By Jamie

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“Looks like things are getting saucy in the Perimeter! Residents continue to ask for ways to be rid of tomato stains. Please feel free to send in any tips or tricks you may have!”

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“Do you find yourself getting lost thousands of blocks away from your home? Has your elytra been breaking at the most inconvenient of times? Not to worry! Melody is willing to fly you back at all hours of the day! Just give her a text at predictions@thehermitnews.org!”

“Have you ever come across a mob that makes you go “hm?” Ones that are not acting right, or ones that you haven’t seen before. Well, next time you do call over Azure! They’re here to research any odd creatures you want them to! Just give them a buzz.”

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“If you’re good at PvP this job may be for you! Scarland workers are in desperate need for more security personnel and you could be hired as soon as today! Come on down to Scarland to complete your interview.”

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“Having trouble with accidental mob farms? No worries! Let the Scar Safety Service light up your base so that you can get back to the grind fear free!”

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“A Plea From Various Hermitcitizens, PLEASE CALM DOWN FOR ONE DAY. JUST ONE. PLEASE. Many thanks, The GGG"

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“Looking for a bouquet of daises. Meet Honeysuckle and Thistle at (coords for somewhere around G’s base) if you’re willing to help!”

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"Have you been infected with sculk recently? Are you interested in figuring out how it works and potentially finding a cure? If so, talk to the Sculk Research Team! We're more than happy to help new people out!"

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Fun and Games

Little games brought to you for a little bit of fun! Word Search and Crossword courtesy of Sirius @aurhisaurelio, Coloring page courtesy of Morph @imorphemi

Word Search and Crossword answer keys can be found in the Pinned of the Hermitcraft Citizen Newspaper The Overseer (OOC) post within #citizen-connections

Finished coloring pages can be shared in #citizen-art!

A transparent version for your coloring needs!

Please refer to #Nova North and #Nic in #citizen-information for references to Nic the cat and Nova the Avian!

And that's all for this first issue folks! Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful week!

[formulatrash]

f1 shipping gets kind of weird for me to begin with. i have seen people get into HEATED arguments about which ship is better and every time i just think people understand these ships aren't real right? half of these men are publicly in romantic relationships with women. there are a few who go out of their ways to say they won't do certain, really just regular activities that platonic friends could do together, with other men because they don't want to be perceived as gay. and i don't really fault them for that because i see how cruel fans are when drivers show they're accepting and inclusive by voluntarily wearing rainbow symbols or just simply saying they believe in equality, love is love, etc., but idk there's still something so gross about usually straight fans telling me certain drivers are like icons and activists for the LGBTQ+ community due to simply having a PR "relationship" or close friendship with other drivers on the grid. i love a nice sportsmanship moment or genuine friendship moment as much as the next fan, but that isn't "activism." that's doing NOTHING to address or prevent the abuse LGBTQ+ fans receive, especially in f1 spaces, both online and at races.

also idk i hate how every time teams or f1 themselves try to push these ships and bromances, the comments usually range from hateful and discriminatory to outdated stereotypes. and those harmful comments are NEVER deleted by admins. like, okay, cool, that's a really cute carlando or yukierre or whatever photo f1 or mclaren or ferrari or alphatauri has posted, but this does NOTHING for making me feel more accepted when a) it's fictional. it's friendships, some maybe closer than others, but it's not really LGBTQ+ representation. (at least not outwardly. i am not trying to assume anyone's sexual orientation here either, but none of these relationships have been confirmed real, and frankly, i don't think teams would be as open to publicizing these relationships like this if they were real romantic relationships, like some fans believe, due to drawback from homophobic fans, sponsors, etc.). b) how is this supposed to make anyone feel welcome and accepted when half the comments are like "who's the man and who's the woman in that relationship?" (something i fucking hate being asked myself. if i wanted a man in my relationship, i would just fucking be with a man).

idek if this makes sense or if i really even made the point i was trying to make but it bothers me too.

a lot here so, idk, apologies if I don't quite answer it all but I will give a try.

shipping wars in general are pretty weird to me, especially that something that feels so antique (like, Yahoo Groups-era internet) is going stronger than ever today.

that said, I think people who are completely aware it's fiction having some blorbos they like thinking about is also completely harmless. for a lot of people shipping whatever is a source of joy and play and to some extent companionship and it can create lots of good things. humans are meant to think things through by playing and sometimes dressing up the dolls you're doing that with in, I don't know, Star Trek uniforms or F1 racesuits or whatever is just the blorbo seasoning of the week.

it would absolutely nuke my brain to read. uhm, idk, I just looked in the F1 tag and pretty much anything in there as far as I can tell but I think it's fundamentally harmless as something people do, when it's understood as fictional.

that said; I fully get you about the mistaking shipping for activism thing. this actually, oh, let's get deep in the internet lore, used to be a big thing on here about 10 years ago. for whatever reason the Johnlock community went like, big on shipping pride and how it was an important expression of LGBTQ+ identity and inevitably, the loudest advocates were the straightest. cringe.

now, on the one hand I do think there's something to be said for queer interpretations. especially in the rigidly straight mainstreams of sport and media. if you think of reinterpreting the silly, silly world that is F1 as not for straight people then, well. yes, there's something radical to be said for that thought process.

imagining another possibility is a way to realise how absurd the current reality is. and that's good. but pointing at things and saying 'that's gay' when as far as we know it's not isn't that.

appropriating straight people (and many of the drivers have confirmed that is absolutely how they identify) as representation is, well, sometimes I can understand why LGBTQ+ people take crumbs. but when it's in a space where there are none of us then calling that acceptable or suggesting it fixes a huge demographic imbalance it doesn't is obviously a massive problem.

there are very few openly LGBTQ+ people in motorsport. pretending that's not true in reality isn't creating representation. it's fun to think about a world where there was more of us but it shouldn't replace the reality or excuse our absence.

and then there's the cynical marketing.

I've always really hated Jeandré. I know how many LGBTQ+ people were in the Formula E paddock at the time because I was one of them. clearly, JEV and André played into it, as did their team and Formula E but it was always so uncomfortable to me, that this was play-acting in an environment where the real thing would probably have got more of a pass than in any other part of motorsport but still not been treated with pride and acceptance.

it was something that drove engagement. which, god knows, Formula E needs so maybe that should be the next marketing tactic but it was also... not real.

I've said before I found things like all Sky's Carlando segments really uncomfortable. the one where Lando and Carlos took each other on laps and asked each other very dating-oriented questions was just... very uncomfortable. because men can ask each other dating-oriented questions, it shouldn't be a punchline.

to their credit Carlos and Lando actually always deflected any attempt at 'no homo' - they clearly have a very comfortable friendship and they didn't ever seem to get skittish, no matter how weird interviews got. I can respect just sort of seriously looking someone down and saying like, no you blink first if this is gay chicken. if you're trying to ship us, you've got to admit it.

but that didn't make it right. or make it that they were representation. remember when there was that seriously odd blog on here that claimed to be written by marketing specialists and body language analysts that was a transparent attempt to 'prove' carlando was true and both Lando and Carlos' official relationships were fake?

that felt very strange, a new development in motorsport fandom. obviously we all know it happened with One Direction and whatever but I was surprised to see that there was a ship that invested in, in F1. and needless to say, it was completely libellous and incredibly invasive, as well as quite misogynist.

shipping won't help a driver come out. and acting as though it's totally unrealistic that drivers could be in a relationship together obviously ignores the fact that some of them are (Jess and Abbie!)

anyway as a bonus piece of analysis for anyone who got down this far, when did Max/Charles go past the F1 RPF titan that is Simi for number of works??? unbelievable, never thought I'd see the day that was knocked off the top spot by two ships involving Max Verstappen. poor ol' brocedes.