#It is currently 1:41am and I'm on the verge of falling asleep

[1eaf-me-alone]

𝕯𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖒𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖜𝖔𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖘

Word count: 2.2k words

Genre: hurt/ comfort

Warnings: none

Summary: Cyno’s busy with work, and you think he’s falling out of love with you. Your thoughts begin to eat away at you as you spiral into sadness.

Other: gender neutral reader

a/n: woo I'm finally back and writing. I've got quite a few fics I'm writing atm and I am ploughing through them.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

His hand in yours, his lips on yours. So soft his lips as they brushed your own. So soft his hands as they caressed your own. His eyelashes tickled your face, his eyes glimmered like stars, glinting lights in a sea of darkness.

He made your stomach flutter. Butterflies trapped in the cage of your body. Your head on his chest, the warmth of his hug radiating against yours, flowing through your body, your blood, your lungs. His calloused hand holding your smooth one. His snow-white hair next to your darker one and his fiery red eyes. The length of his dark cape tickled your arms. Your head lay on top of the fabric of his clothes and you could hear his heartbeat pounding in your head, and yours in his.

The soft features of his face all beaming at you. Soft white hair, with the delicate but rich smell of saffron, ruby eyes, for they were a gem enough to make you never want to look away,  tanned skin, long eyelashes,  kisses reserved for you, and black. Black? Darkness? 

You opened your eyes. 

The rain outside drummed relentlessly along the pavement, harsh grey clouds covering the previously pearl-white sky. Plants were drenched in a shower of water, animals scampered off for shelter and roads had started to fill with water. 

Your blankets clung stickily onto your body, and your face felt wet. An uncomfortable heat enveloped you. 

It had all been a dream. 

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —  

Cyno lunged towards the enemies, striking, slashing, and attacking.  His feet moved swiftly along the sands, his polearm clanging against their swords, the glint of a jewel against the light. Sweat and blood ran down his forehead. Four against one. Knives and hammers pointed at him, but he was too fast. Flying paperwork strung to a stolen satchel. Fierce eyes ready to fight for the death. 

But Cyno was no amateur. He attacked again, his polearm scraping against theirs, his hair flying forwards with his movement, his fire-like eyes glaring in malice. 

Although Cyno was just one person he was trained well in the art of combat- as the general mahamtra, it was his job. He could tell the four were starting to tire, their movements slow and clumsy, their footwork slipping, their throats barely avoiding Cyno’s spear. And so Cyno continued- a game of cat and mouse, waiting for them to weaken as he fiercely plunged repeatedly towards them, each clash of his weapon against theirs faster than the one before. 

His feet skidded along the burning sand but he didn't seem to care. Cyno had a priority: he had to get the paperwork back.  His face now felt sticky, his tongue dry from dehydration and the grip on his polearm starting to loosen. 

He didn't give up, in fact, Cyno now went with a fiercer power. Another strike. A slash. A hit. And then they slipped with a scream. That was a mistake. Cyno pointed his spear at the one that fell and hooked it onto the satchel, he grabbed it. Turning towards them again, pointing the polearm at their necks. He glared.

“If you ever dare steal paperwork from the Akademiya again I'll let you off far less lightly.”

He glowered  at each of them individually 

“Consider this a warning.”

As soon as Cyno lifted his spear, the foursome stood up and scampered away like terrified deer.

He watched them leave, running off as quickly as they possibly can. Satisfied he turned around and began to walk back.

I hope they’re proud of me, he thought. 

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — 

What if Cyno no longer cared? What if he’d found another lover? What if his love for you had faded?

All these thoughts crowded your mind, inhabiting it like an infestation of loud wasps or blood-sucking leeches.

What if you had said something wrong? What if he never really cared for you in the first place? What if it was just an act? 

You hadn’t moved from the bed since you had woken up, and now it no longer felt like a comfortable place to rest but somewhere sticky and musty and hot. 

You had nothing to look forward to anymore. Not in the evenings when you and Cyno cooked dinners, not in the night when Cyno embraced you in bed and kissed your cheek and held your hand, not in the mornings in which the two of you used to sit together to chat about the upcoming day. You wished he were here.

A small tear rolled down your cheek. The rain began to pour down heavily. 

You missed him. 

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — 

Cyno walked towards the Akademiya clutching the paperwork in his hand. He saluted both guards poised on either side of the steps and entered into the building. 

The Akademiya was deadly quiet at this hour, with the only human sound coming from the few footsteps and shuffling of people. No one spoke, apart from the occasional whisper which could only be heard if you were close enough to listen. The water from the fountain in the middle of the room trickled and splashed against the base of its structure. 

The only source of light came from the grandiose chandelier in the ceiling, which was painted blue and beige. Although, saying that, a few lamps were spotted on floors or staircases. The room was mostly stone grey, with occasional accents of gold, and green coming from the potted plants on the side of the space.

Cyno walked across the room and entered the lift on the other side. It moved upwards until it finally stopped in another room. 

Cyno knocked on  the door and heard the gruff voice of a familiar person telling him to come in. He pushed the door open and saw Alhaitham sitting on a chair next to a desk. He swiftly removed the paperwork from the satchel and handed it to him. 

“Some students had stolen this from the Akademiya.”

Alhaitham nodded. He reached out to hold the papers and as he took them he wrote a note on his desk.

“Thank you, Cyno.”

Cyno gave a curt nod and turned around, back on his way to you.

He couldn't wait to see you tonight. 

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — 

You stared out the window. The sun had begun to climb into  the sky. It was still raining. 

You eventually got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. Wiping your tears away with water until your face was red and the taste of saltiness in your mouth had disappeared. 

You walked back to the bedroom and once again sat on your bed, looking up at the ceiling.

There’s no point in sulking over things you can’t even back up with facts, and there’s no point in sitting in bed and crying all day.

You stood up from the bed. You would ask Cyno about it later.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — 

Cyno walked upon the usually bustling streets of the market. Due to the rain,  most people sought refuge in their homes.

Fabric roofs covered the materials from being wet.Pots of herbs and spices filled some of the stalls, and shops with books, medicine, gadgets and half-hearted vendors shouting an occasional invite to attempt to draw the few customers there.

Cyno stopped at the stall he was searching for: the flower shop.

An array of colourful flowers had been placed on tables, vases and shelves. Rich,  purple Sumeru roses, deep blue dream flowers, sun yellow stamina flowers, violet padisarah’s and crimson mourning flowers.

Cyno inspected each flower, taking a few to his nose to sniff. Finally, when he had decided on the flowers he wanted for you, he cleared his throat, “I’d like those, please.”

He pointed towards the flowers he wanted.

The vendor wrapped the flowers in light brown paper, along with a purple and gold accented ribbon to keep them in place. 

“That’ll be 500 mora, sir.”

Cyno reached for his pocket and handed the vendor the mora. He then picked up the wrapped flowers and held them carefully in his hand.

He hoped you would love them. 

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — 

You heard a knock on the door and immediately jumped out of your seat. Could it be? 

You rushed towards the door and opened it. Lo and behold it was Cyno, clutching flowers in his hand and a smile on his face. His cape was a little muddied, his hair displaced, and some new scratches had appeared on his face,  but it was still him.

He looked at you and smiled “I got you flowers, my feather.”

He handed them to you and as you quickly unwrapped it, finding an array of colours and shapes, you lifted the flowers to your nose and took a long, deep, breath. And then you sighed. 

Cyno furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Is everything ok, my scarab?”

Slowly you lifted your head, putting the flowers aside.

“There’s something I want to tell you…”

You took his hand and walked him towards the bedroom. 

As soon as he sat, with  his attention focused on you, you began to speak.

“Recently I feel like we’ve been spending less and less time with each other. I barely get to see you anymore, and when I’m awake you’re already gone. I’m scared you don’t care about me or that your interests lie somewhere else. I don’t have anything to back it up with, but I can't really tell if my thoughts are reality or not.

A few tears had started to roll down your cheek, you looked away, not wanting Cyno to see you in this messy and embarrassing state. 

Cyno waited. Letting your tears fall and giving you the space you needed. Then turning your head so his hand was under your chin, he looked at you affectionately, wiping away a tear that was now slowly trickling down your neck.

“I’m sorry. Work has been tougher than ever before and the Akademiya currently has a shortage of staff, so I’m doing double the work I usually do at the moment. My dear, of course, I love you. You are the gem that keeps me going, you are what I think of when I’m in battle. However, I have a lot to deal with at the moment too. Is there anything I could do to make you feel better?”

You paused for a second, Finally, you raised your head, subconsciously unaware you had shuffled closer to Cyno as his arm was now wrapped around your waist.

“I'm sorry work has been so hard for you. I’m sorry for adding to your pile of things to worry about. Maybe we could write each other letters when you’re gone? And tell me when you’re going to leave before you leave. I don't like waking up to not see you there and not knowing how long you’ll be gone for.”

Cyno nodded.

“In that case, before I’ll leave I’ll tell you, I’ll also make sure to write letters to you every other day.  I’ll ask Tighnari if I can use one of his birds to send the letter to you.” 

You bowed your head.

“ Don’t force yourself if you’re too busy, though. Is there a way I can help you prepare for your trips? Ease the tension from your work? I feel like you’re overworking yourself and you need to remember to take care of yourself. I wouldn't mind cooking our meals when you come home or packing supplies when you’re setting off for another mission? Just... try not to overwork yourself, ok? You need a break too.” 

“Thanks, I would... really appreciate that and ill try not to overwork myself.” 

You paused a second, a thought coming to mind

“Oh and thank you for the flowers, they're lovely”

“I'm glad you liked them.”

Your head now fell onto Cyno’s shoulder letting out a long, deep breath. The tension you had kept in your body had finally flown out and you were left with a smile on your face and a feeling of warmth in your stomach.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — 

(a few days later)

You heard the voice of Cyno in your ear.

“I need to go now my feather, I'll be back soon. Thank you for the candied ajilenakh nuts, I'll be sure to savour them.”

“Mphm.”

He planted a soft kiss on your forehead, and after hovering above your head for a couple of seconds, he left.

Although your eyes were closed, and you were still in the realms of sleep and dreams, you smiled.