#It is three pages long in my docs. Good god. It's genuinely really interesting how much there really is that points to causation

[the-voldsoy]

Vampirism and Nudity: Correlation or Causation?

(shoutout to @kingcharley17 for helping with points and inspiring this essay in the first place!!)

First, we must consider why a vampire would want to be in a state of undress in the first place. This includes both full nudity and scant clothing, such as lingerie. If a vampire is less dressed, it may encourage others around them to similarly strip. This may suggest that it is an evolutionary development, as less clothing on prey would likely make it easier for the vampire to feed on them as there would be easier access to the skin – and therefore blood – of the prey. Furthermore, if the human is wearing less clothes, it is more likely that they will have similarly discarded any potential weapons that they may have been carrying. Even if they had not discarded everything that may be of risk to the vampire, it would be more visible as there would be less clothing to obstruct it, such as other vampire teeth on a necklace that may have previously been hidden under a shirt. This would make the feeding much safer for the vampire, as it allows them to assess and mitigate threats easier. 

Additionally, more clothing could be a hindrance to the vampire in a fight, as it could be grabbed and pulled or get in the way. 

Similarly, dressing more revealingly may encourage sexual encounters, which is attractive to vampires for two main reasons. First and arguably most important, sexual encounters can result in feeding. This is beneficial for the reasons explained previously, but also for further reasoning as the prey may be allowed to survive, and may even enjoy the encounter if the vampire plays into the prey’s potential masochism correctly. This may therefore continue to suggest that nudity is an evolutionary advancement, as prey surviving and enjoying the encounter makes it less likely that the vampire will be caught and subsequently hunted.

The second reason is that many vampires are likely very isolated. Most are forced to isolate themselves for fear of being exposed as a vampire and being endangered, or because they have outlived everyone that they used to care about. This means that vampires may be craving familiarity and intimacy, which can be provided with sexual contact. Sexual encounters also supply simple pleasure for the vampire, which they may otherwise be lacking. It can be assumed that because vampires are functionally immortal beings in some cases, they will become listless and bored with life and may develop depression over time. In this instance, the pleasure of sexual encounters may break up this monotony and give the vampire some excitement and enjoyment that they may have been previously missing. 

Furthermore, this could be used to manipulate others. Nudity and sex can be used to attract people, but also to distract them. In this way, nudity could be seen as a tactical practice rather than a specifically vampiric one. 

Continuing down the route of biology, vampires are much less vulnerable to natural elements than their human counterparts. They do not seem to be affected by cold to the same degree as humans, save when they get so cold that their bodies physically freeze. But even then, they are likely to survive when they thaw. They are not invincible but they are not as affected as humans may be by other natural occurrences such as rocks underfoot or prolonged exposure to rain giving them a cold. This often negates the need for clothing as a form of protection, even meaning that they can often forgo shoes if they wish. 

Nevertheless, they do have one glaring vulnerability – the sun. This is a huge weakness, and easily avoided for the most part by covering up more. However, many vampires instead choose to avoid the sun by switching to an exclusively nocturnal lifestyle. This is favourable as it has less potential for danger than simply covering up. Clothing can easily slip and expose the vampire to dangerous UV, as well as the fact that completely covering up – including hands and entire face – can draw suspicion. Additionally, this nocturnal lifestyle works perfectly in tandem with points previously made about sexual encounters, as most establishments that cater to activities of that nature open during nights rather than days. 

On a personal level, most vampires are very old when considered on the scale of human life. As previously mentioned, vampires will lose their tether to humanity as the people they knew slowly die out. In this context, it can be assumed that many human values may eventually be forgone in favour of more beneficial new opinions for the vampire, such as a lack of shame pertaining to nudity. It can also be assumed that alongside losing their “human” values, as vampires lose their tether to mortals they may begin to stop caring about everything, including nudity. Therefore, it may be construed that the older a vampire is, the more likely they are to favour revealing clothing. 

However, there is still the question of when that line is. At what point does a vampire lose their shame? It can be assumed that this point will be different for each individual, but that then raises the question of whether it is an age that many vampires actually achieve. The oldest vampires are centuries (if not millenia) old, but the youngest have only been around for decades, and many die before they even make it past the span of an average human lifetime.

There are several similarly selfish reasons that a vampire may wish to show more skin. Many vampires are beautiful, and some have been known to be worshipped as a sort of deity. Again, this display of beauty could encourage positive attention, but specifically of the more egotistical type, feeding into the vampire’s possible notions of being godlike. Having humans enthralled and infatuated with them may help the vampire to feel wanted or as though they belong. This is important as many likely hold insecurities about these topics, as they are forced to be cast out from society to stay alive.

Likewise, vampires do not scar easily. They only retain scars from injuries pre-turning, and any injuries they may have gotten from other vampires, such as the actual act of their turning. This smooth, unblemished skin could play into this “godlike” idea, as they appear to be invincible. If the only scar they have is their turning mark it may also contribute, as they may begin to see this mark as holy in itself. 

Alternatively, nudity may fulfill the complete opposite intentions, depending on the vampire’s sentiments. Their body constantly being in view and on display may serve to remind them that they were human, once, and they still mostly have their human body. This may help them to feel connected with the human race in general, or to feel more “alive”. Humans are either alive or dead without a doubt, but vampires tend to have more nuanced opinions on whether they are alive, dead, not quite alive or not quite dead. 

Furthermore, if a vampire has got a lot of scars, they may wish to show these scars off as trophies, reminders, threats, etc. A vampire with a lot of scars is generally one that has survived a lot of violent encounters with other vampires. Therefore, displaying these scars warn other vampires to stay away. This would make nudity a protection for the vampire, as it allows them to avoid further violence.

However, it may make more sense for a vampire to wish to cover up more for these very same reasons. They may feel shame over looking like a human, either because they feel unworthy of looking like part of the species any more, or because they see humans as beneath them. They may not like their scars or lack thereof and wish to hide themselves for that reason. However, this may only be applicable to younger vampires, who still have an attachment to the idea of being and appearing human. In contrast, it can be assumed that older vampires do not care about appearing human, save for circumstances where it may benefit them to blend in. Even so, in this case they do it out of necessity rather than shame or fear. Moreover, negative feelings about vampirism may be individual rather than an opinion held by all young vampires, as there is evidence of younger and older vampires alike dressing in revealing clothes. However, this does raise the question of how sexual these vampires were pre-turning, and whether their affinity for nudity is influenced by vampirism at all or whether it is just who they are.

Additionally, the act of turning a vampire and the subsequent actions that have to be taken to stay alive are traumatic, the actions that are often taken against the vampire afterwards equally so. This could make sexualising oneself a trauma response as a consequence of vampirism, rather than the vampirism itself.

Finally, a vampire may prefer to show their body more in an attempt to stay modern. This is especially applicable to older vampires that have survived many generations of trends. Throughout years of fashion and life and tastes changing, one thing always stays constant: sex. Sexual desire is something that has always been a driving force for a large part of humanity, not necessarily as an intention but it has always been present. It is an animalistic and natural urge. Therefore, vampires can capitalise on this desire and always stay modern, despite ignoring general trends. They can wear whatever the underwear is of the time rather than dressing up fully, as underwear tends to have much less nuance with what is popular, especially with more sexual scenes. 

In conclusion, I believe that there is some correlation between the two, although it is not generally a direct path. Vampires become more open and less shameful as they age, which leads them to be bolder in topics such as nudity and sexuality. They may choose to embrace these topics in situations that benefit them which are similarly brought about by vampirism, but aren't a direct product of. 

[knifeonmars]

Capsule Reviews - May 2020 - The Cape Stuff

I read a lot of comics in May. Here’s what I thought of some of the superhero and superhero-adjacent comics I read.

Arms of the Octopus

A nostalgia pick, the collection of several annual issues containing a crossover between Superior Spider-Man, The Invincible Hulk, and the All-New X-Men. It is an artifact of a very specific and bizarre time in Marvel Comics, when Doc Ock was Spider-Man, the Hulk worked for SHIELD, and the original five teen X-Men were stranded in their own future. For a pure, relatively straightforward crossover romp, it's quite enjoyable. Spider-Man is a jerk, the Hulk fights a robot, the X-Men are befuddled by the present, all of the major beats for that particular moment in the Marvel Universe are there, and it's got some really great art. Jake Wyatt, during his regrettably short-lived stint with Marvel and the great Kris Anka unfortunately overshadow the other contributors, but it's all very good, if not the most accessible comic.

Maxwell's Demons

I came to Maxwell's Demons having heard a lot of critical buzz and with my expectations set rather high. I did not care for this book at all. Ambitious is the best word for this series, and that's not a bad thing. It's got ideas, about the craft, about the genre, about philosophy in general. It never quite manages to carry things off though; it's not as smart as it wants to be, and the high-minded ideas are never incorporated in particularly elegant ways. Three of the story's five chapters are essentially extended monologues in which the main character rambles on about some glorified shower thought for 20-plus pages. The first and second chapters are the exceptions to this pattern, and are quite solid as far as pointedly derivative superhero riffs go, even if the second chapter's riff on "What if Miracleman #17 was significantly less intelligent" is more than a little shameless in its lack of originality. The fourth chapter, by contrast, is the nadir of the series, easily the most embarrassing Manic Pixie Dream Girl tripe I've seen played straight in literal years. I'm reminded a lot of Translucid, another superhero pastiche, which essentially sought to do for Batman what Maxwell's Demons seeks to do for Lex Luthor. I warmed to Translucid significantly on my second read and I wonder if the same will end up being true for Maxwell's Demons, but I find that Translucid simply did a better job of incorporating original ideas and stating its themes in ways less stupefyingly clunky than Maxwell's Demon's ever manages. I hate to call a book pretentious, especially an ambitious one, but at present that's how I feel about this book.

Twilight

Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and Howard Chaykin's Watchmen-for-mid-century-space-heroes epic. It's good. Fabulous art, some really interesting ideas and a great premise. It's also more than a little Chaykin-y, with most of the male characters having fraught but amiable relationships with their much-too-good-for-them-and-they-both-know-it ex-wives. It has this particular brand of low grade misogyny that idealizes women but in doing so denies them interiority and, ultimately, humanity. Leaving that aside, though it is a major point to leave aside, it’s story of humanity rotting over eons of immortality, mad space gods, and humanity’s proclivity towards colonialism and genocide, it's great. It’s not an altogether pleasant book, it can be nasty and strange, in ways both intentional and unintentional, but it’s original and engaging and decidedly well made. Something of an overlooked classic of that era’s DC output.    

Green Lantern: Earth One

Literally the only one of DC's Earth One graphic novels that's worth a damn. Where most of the other Earth One books choose to start things off in a world resembling our own, Green Lantern starts off in a scifi future resembling something along the lines of Ad Astra or The Expanse, with Earth controlled by an only alluded to totalitarian government, humanity colonizing and mining the solar system, and Hal Jordan as a spacefaring roughneck who dreads the prospect of returning to Earth. Earth One is the rare Green Lantern story that manages to make Earth as interesting as the rest of the universe. The bulk of the action leaves this behind to focus on unearth the lost legacy of the Green Lanterns and refits their mythology in a clean way which will be unsurprising for anyone with a passing familiarity with the original comics but is still satisfying ad fresh. Fabulous art, fun take on the mythology, I'm left both wanting more and being satisfied with what we got.

Spider-Man: Life Story

In a just world, Chip Zdarksy, one of Marvel’s best writers these days, would be writing both Spider-Man and Fantastic Four, instead of having been relegated to shortlived spinoffs. Because life just isn’t fair sometimes, instead he was given this admittedly ambitious project, his all-encompassing take on the Spider-Man story as played out in real time. In the end it’s bold and engaging, but more than a little clipped in execution. Each issue is a snippet of Peter Parker's life as we catch up to him in a new decade so readers only get a quick glimpse of the action and are left to fill in the substantial gaps by drawing on our knowledge of continuity. The obvious comparison is John Byrne's Superman/Batman: Generations, but where that story really only took the broad strokes of those characters' continuity into account in writing its decades spanning story, Spider-Man: Life Story is dedicated to the remixing of Spider-Man's publishing canon. So it can’t just take an archetypal view of Spider-Man and play that out to its logical conclusion, instead it’s stuck trying to incorporate version of prominent Spider-Man stories like Kraven's Last Hunt, Venom, and Civil War. The result means that there’s a ton of exposition in each issue, and frequent use of shorthand to gloss over things which have happened since the previous issue, and it never manages to explore the series’ original ideas in detail. Also, I'll die mad that Michel Fiffe, the genius behind COPRA and one of my favorite cartoonists, public pitched basically this exact story a year or so before this project was announced, and even if Marvel didn't actually steal the idea, I'll forever pine for Fiffe's take on this premise.

Star Wars: The Crimson Empire Saga

Long before the Disney's take on Star Wars, with their codified takes on the mythology and careful curation of the franchise, there was the old Star Wars Expanded Universe, where seemingly anyone could tell any story they wanted using the mythology of Star Wars. While it resulted in some good stuff, like Timothy Zahn's fondly remembered Thrawn books, the vast majority of it was workmanlike or even bad. Crimson Empire falls firmly into the category of bad, a dumber than dirt story about an extremely cool space guy and his code of honor. It's the kind of story where multiple characters say "He's just one man!" right before or right after seeing their legion of anonymous flunkies getting demolished by the hero. It's got an inexplicable and bad love story. In the three miniseries collected here it spends about two pages total dealing with the idea that maybe, just maybe, the fact that it's main character is dedicated to the lost honor of Emperor Palpatine, a space fascist, maybe his code of honor is completely fucked. Of those three miniseries, only the first story is anywhere near something that could be called good. I wouldn’t called Crimson Empire utterly abysmal, but it’s not unironically good. If the name Kyle Katarn means anything to you, you might get something out of this as a nostalgia trip, but otherwise it has no redeeming qualities.

Deathstroke: Legacy

The first of the New 52 Deathstroke stories, which was never well regarded until Christopher Priest took it over with Deathstroke: Rebirth, I was driven to read this by a conceptual fondness for this era's Deathstroke basically looking and acting like an action figure. Through that lens, it's quite enjoyable. It's not as obviously in on the joke in the way that the classic Taskmaster: Unthinkable is, but it's over the top, has fun designs and baddies, and Joe Bennett (years before his career best heights in Immortal Hulk) provides consistently good art. As a pure action comic, it's good.

Wolverine MAX: Permanent Rage

Here's the thing about Wolverine: There are very few good Wolverine solo stories. Wolverine is a genuinely good character, but most of his solo stories are dumb action affairs, and there's literally never been a Wolverine comic that's even halfway as good as the Logan movie. Permanent Rage, the first storyline from the Wolverine MAX series though, is actually pretty decent. It plays out a lot like you might imagine a Wolverine movie made around 2004, with no superheroes, a Japanese setting that allows for some distracting orientalism, unrelenting violence, and a noir-inspired storyline. The present day storyline is all well and good, not great, but solid and relatively low-key, but what makes the book is the presence of Sabretooth as the main villain. His relationship with Wolverine, fleshed out through flashbacks drawn by some really talented artists, is probably one of the best takes on that relationship that Marvel has ever put out. The casting of Wolverine and Sabretooth as two lonely immortals, bound together by hate and the knowledge that they are each other's only true companions, absolutely makes this book. Is it great? No, but it's got enough interesting things going on that fans of dark superheroes stories would probably find something to enjoy. Subsequent volumes of Wolverine MAX moved even further from the character’s superhero trappings and supporting characters, which is a pity, but this one remains readable and enjoyable on its own.

Marshal Law Omnibus

A collection all of the non-licensed and non-text-only Marshal Law stories. It's weird, it's punk, it's violent, it's sick of superheroes but self-aware about it own silliness in a way that Garth Ennis' work like The Boys has never been (Incidentally, the fifth story contained here, Super Babylon, is just every self-righteous complaint Ennis made about superheroes in The Boys but presented with a modicum of good humor). It's quite fun as a mean-spirited anti-superhero romp, but anyone who is particularly invested in the moral rectitude of, like, the Flash, might find it an unpleasant read so I would advise avoiding it if that's you. It's also not perfect, even for what it is: it's approach to sex work and kink is very dated, it relies on sexual violence a little too much, and by the time you get to the final story, Secret Tribunal, it's come to revel in its previously ironic fascist and misogynist imagery and characters just a little too much. The third installment, Kingdom of the Blind, is for my money, the strongest of the lot, featuring both the most straightforward premise and the most incisive satire the collection has to offer.

[raefill]

I would legit love to hear you answers to every single question. I don't know if you feel like actually doing them all, but if you did... I'm JUST SAYING I'D READ THE ANSWERS, ok.

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?Yeaaaah but my romantic prospects are pretty bleak tbh, I graduate and move away in a few months

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?No, not really. But I’m not mad about it anymore.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”CUTE BABY CLOSE BY !!!!!!!!!

4: What’s something you really want right now?to cry, i’m having the big sads

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?always

6: Do you like the beach?i love the beach!!!!!!!!! i grew up in a seaside town, the beach feels like the best parts of home

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?yes ?? it was cramped and uncomfortable 

8: What’s the background on your cell?the photo of me, san, kahl, chez, frau, bagel and spags in the louvre

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?mine(right now), Thea’s, Lizzie’s, .. Keir’s?

10: Do you like your phone?yeah but i’d like it more if the screen wasn’t so cracked

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?lol no, it’s definitely not

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?i genuinely don’t remember !

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?rottweiler, i love dogs that look a little mean but have big hearts

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?pffffft, that’s hard to answer but i’d say generally emotional, most of the time it’s harder to get rid of emotional pain

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?both ?! i want to support the breeding of endangered animals that happens in zoos and see the cute animals but also i love a good rembrandt ?!

16: Are you tired?exhausted

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?since i was born

18: Are they a relative?my mother!

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?not a fucking chance

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?a few hours ago, i think

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?i don’t believe there’s a way to know nor do i think love works that way

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?hell yeah i would

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?none!

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?“if you make bad choices, own them” - my dad 

25: What’s on your mind?god, everything, idk im having a high key anxiety day

26: Do you have any tattoos?one pretty big one on my thigh

27: What is your favorite color?black !!!!!!!!!!

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?maybe tomorrow, we’ll see how it goes

29: Who are you texting?uhhh, no one? everyone is asleep

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?yes

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?all the time, my gut rarely lies

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?yes, his name is keir and he’s one of my best friends

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?i mean i’m dating someone so i fucking hope so

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?no ? i dont think ? i’ve had people say they’re big or the colour is interesting but idk

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?i’d cheer her on

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?yes

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?yes!

38: What do your friends call you?rae ?

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?yes

40: Have you ever cried over a text?pffft, yah

41: Where’s your last bruise located?my knee

42: What is it from?i fell over my own computer chair

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?today

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?my mum, i think

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?not right now, most i just wear my plain black docs

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?no, i just tie is back

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?no, i really dont like my ears, idk why

48: Do you make supper for your family?yeah, my mum and step dad can’t cook

49: Does your bedroom have a door?ofc it does? what kind of bedroom doesn’t have a door? get these pretentious loft bedrooms out of my face

50: Top 3 web-pages?tumblr, ao3, youtube

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?plenty!

52: Does anything on your body hurt?period pains are all the rage today

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?yeah but i don’t tend to cry until they’ve already left so i look like i take them just fine

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?water......... this morning

55: How is your hair?fine? a bit damaged from the cold weather

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?wish i was still asleep

57: Do you think two people can last forever?yes

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?i dont fucking know

59: Green or purple grapes?GREEN or get out of my face

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?tomorrow~

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?yes

62: When will be the next time you text someone?tomorrow!

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?probably in bed still, but asleep

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.sleeping

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?no, i was getting over the end of a four year relationship

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?no

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?no

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?this sucks

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?many times

70: How many windows are open on your computer?ten! and they’re mostly your fics corey, go figure

71: How many fingers do you have?ten

72: What is your ringtone?i dont know, my phone is always on silent

73: How old will you be in 5 months?22 ~

74: Where is your Mum right now?sleeping in bed probably, idfk, she lives hours away

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?we grew up and grew apart but we were still okay until i had about four-six months of depression where i had to stop myself from doing something stupid daily and he didn’t notice despite us living together and sharing a bedroom (and those times i told him and he shrugged)

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?yes

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?yes! i still love them very much

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?annabelle

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?yes, there’s some grad students in the psych department called mike, they all look kinda the same too

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?yeah, i miss being able to do that regularly

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?more than i can count, my polyamorous ass has a crush on about seven people currently

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?no

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?i’m talking to one of them

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?i’d literally never do this

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?depends which drugs and how often, no one cares about a joint every few months

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?i spilled my popcorn and managed to hide that i had spilled it from my date pahaha

87: Who was your last received call from?my mum, wow it sounds like i talk to my mum a lot more than i do

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?yes, i hate bugs, give me the money

89: What is something you wish you had more of?time, energy, patience, money

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?no, i’m not someone who trusts easily

91: Do you sleep with your window open?only in the summer

92: Do you get along with girls?yes, anyone that doesn’t get on with someone because of their gender is an asshole

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?nope

94: Does sex mean love?hell no, it can be an expression of it but no

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?yeah she wold be freaking the fuck out because she’s locked in a room!

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?no, actually, i haven’t

97: Did you sleep alone this week?yes

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?yes ? 

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?no, not at all

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?one of my besties, holly

[cajunroe]

baberoe + emt!babe + doctor!roe + bonus: doctor!renée ↳ renée had known eugene roe for all of twenty minutes and already she knew they were going to be great friends. he was smart, passionate, kind, and gentle. she respected him, not only due to his work at previous hospitals and doctors without borders, but because he wasn’t afraid of taking command, even towards his superiors. for gene, the patient always came first and foremost and for renée, that meant everything. unfortunately, that meant that everything else came second, including genes’ friendships, relationships, and himself. after six months of gene’s never-changing behavior, renée takes it upon herself to help gene if he won’t help himself. plus, she works nonstop, her fiancée is in france working on restructuring an entire hospital staff, and her only other friend is anna, an emt who she doesn’t see nearly as often as she’d like. sufficed to say, she could use a little shakeup and she’s never said no to helping a friend, even if they didn’t ask. 

so she starts slow by randomly asking gene questions about his interests.

“do you like blondes or brunettes more?”

gene stops in the middle of a sip of his coffee.

“redheads, why?”

“quiz in last month’s cosmo.”

gene shrugs and walks away.

“what’s your idea of a perfect date?”

gene, exhausted from a double shift, rubs his eyes and levels a glare at renée who had just shown up for her shift.

“sleeping. for twenty-four hours.”

renée smiles, “so spending a lot of time in bed. i can work with that.”

she was about to ask gene another question, but he was fast asleep on the couch in the doctor’s lounge.

“would you ever go on a blind date?”

gene shrugs, they’re at their favorite seat in their favorite bar. one block from the hospital.

“i guess, ren. why have you been askin’ me all this stuff for weeks?”

renée downs another shot, a slightly less disgusted face than the last one falls from her face.

“i’m bored, gene. maurice won’t be back for another three weeks. you haven’t been with anyone in god knows how long. i want to set you up.”

gene laughs uncomfortably, “what makes ya think i ain’t been with anyone?” 

renée levels a firm glare at him.

gene sighs, “it isn’t that i don’t wanna, but with workin’ and movin’ i ain’t exactly had the time.”

“i think you’re preventing yourself from getting hurt again because of...you past, but gene you can’t let that fear stop you from being happy. i mean look at us. we’re as close as can be and you trust me, right?”

gene nodded, he really did. 

“well then if you can trust me with your friendship, you can trust someone with your heart. i know your ex tried to ruin that, but you can’t give that bastard the satisfaction of it being true.”

gene was quiet for a long time, thinking over why exactly he’s pushed away so many prospect since he’d moved here. renée was right, but it was easier said than done. he needed to warm up someone or even the idea of someone.

“soon, ren. just not tonight.” 

renée smiles softly before telling him she needs a refill.

he gets up to get them another round and as he walks back with two beers, a loud man - part of a loud group who’d been playing darts behind their table - slams into him and spills one beer down his favorite shirt. 

gene doesn’t look up, hand gripping the glass tightly in anger.

“ah shit. i’m so sorry man.” the man begins hastily attempting to clean beer off gene’s soaked shirt and is somehow still talking to both gene and his friend.

“shut up gonorrhea or i’m tellin’ your ma you didn’t go to church last sunday.”

the man’s friend stopped catcalling and the shaking hands were finally off his body.

gene looked up, calm exterior back in place.

he saw a shock of red hair and a warm, nervous smile.

he was staring, he knew he was, but he also couldn’t look away. 

“i, uhm, wow, i really am sorry. can i buy you another beer?” 

gene tried to place the strong accent as he willed his heart to stop beating so fast. 

he hadn’t felt like this in a long time. he didn’t even feel that way with his ex and gene didn’t want to think about him right now or ever again. he was the reason gene had to move as he’d tried to have gene’s license taken away because gene had wanted to end their relationship. 

gene had a difficult time trusting anyone since. not until renée had stood up for him in front of their chief when gene had made the right call for the patient against orders from the chief, had he felt like he could breathe again.

“i don’t know if you’re genuinely pissed and are about to hit me or if you’re playing the strong, silent type that looks intense all the time. either way, i’m into it.” the redhead ducked his head to hide his blush and still smiled at gene.

gene didn’t know how he knew, but he knew that the man in front of him could ruin him in the best way possible. he just couldn’t find the courage to follow through.

he says nothing and just rushes back to the table where renée was speaking in french, talking to maurice or family gene guessed.

he places her unspilled beer in front of her and gestures that he’s leaving.

he’s out the door, not looking back, couldn’t let himself for fear of what he’d let happen.

had he looked back, he would’ve notice the redhead approach their table and a mischievous smile spreading across renée’s lips as the man in front of her spoke.

they say that, as doctors, you’re expected to give up on more things in life than most people would. for some it’s as big as love, others it’s as important as family, for others it’s as minute as a regular sleep schedule. for gene, it was his trust in people he had to give up on. renée was the first person he’d met in a long time, that he trusted and felt like he could open up to. even still, it took her six months to break him down and really become his friend.

he promised himself that he’d never let himself be that vulnerable to someone again. but then again, gene was never very good at keeping promises to himself. renée had worked her way into his life and he kind of just wants someone to want to work for him. someone willing to put themselves on the line more than him, just for a little while. he needs to know that they’re willing to risk as much as he is.

and if he dreams of soft red hair, and warm smiles, and cold mornings spent in bed, then so be it. it’s not like his dreams are going to come true.

gene has to work the ER for a full day due to several unforeseen circumstances. though he wants to do nothing for than sleep, he’s grateful for the distraction and separation from renée. since the night at the bar, she’s been asking him more and more questions about his love life and it’s sad state.

he’s notified that a call came in; heartattack, emt coming in hot and performing cpr in the ambulance. 

gene braces himself for the adrenaline that only comes from racing against the clock to save another person’s life.

the automatic doors slide open and something about the emt makes gene stop before rushing into the room with the emts.

“BP 145 over 93.” the emt shouts and the voice gives gene pause again, but he quickly recovers.

gene takes over in a rush, pushing the emts out without even looking up.

he shouting orders to the staff around him until he manages to get the patient stable.

“get him admitted and tell lemaire to run a body ct as soon as she can. something’s off about him and i want to know what” gene orders as he snaps his gloves off and throws them into the bin.

“right away doctor roe.” the nurse responds and moves to page renée.

gene rubs his eyes, the night almost over and the exhaustion catching up with him slowly. something kept tugging at his brain about what just happened, but he couldn’t figure out what it was.

“so is roe your, uh, first or last name?” a deep voice 

gene turned around and was met with the man from the bar a week ago. the man that’s haunted his dreams ever since.

“what’re doin’ here? stalkin’ me or somethin’?” 

gene fills out a chart and once again wills his heart to slow down. 

the man at least has the decency to look offended before he pulls the side of his jacket in front of gene’s eyes.

“i work here.” the man smiled wide and laughed slightly.

"sorry, i’m gene, doctor gene roe.” gene put his hand forward.

“babe.” the man shook his hand.

“what?”

“my name’s babe. well it’s actually edward heffron, but only the nuns call me edward.”

gene smiled, weird as it was, he could really see himself waking up to that smile and that hair and that voice every day. 

he tried out the name slowly, “babe.” 

babe laughed, “i like the way you say my name, doc” he pursed his lips and in a mock-gene gravelly voice he said, “babe.”

neither man realized that they’d stopped shaking hands and were simply hold the other’s gently.

babe stepped closer and gene’s breath caught at the proximity. he could feel something in his life shifting drastically into place. it felt like moments you only witness and read about, but never experience for yourself.

“i’d kinda like to hear you say it again, repeatedly, over the course of many days and weeks and months. maybe a little breathless or angry or when you’re laughing or in the morning or even at night. right now though, i’d kind of like to hear it followed by ‘i’d love to go to dinner with you.’“

gene stared, dumbfounded by the speech the man in front of him, quite literally the man of his dreams, has given. he continued to stare and went over his conversation with renée at the bar. it was just dinner, nothing more, but it was a start. he could get back on the horse and what a horse it was to get back on, so to speak.

gene flushed at the conversation in his head before biting his lip.

“c-can you kinda say something? anything? i’m kinda putting myself out there right now.”

gene, for the first time in his life, trusted someone he never thought he’d need to: himself.

he pulls babe in for a gentle kiss before speaking against his lips, “babe, i’d love to go to dinner with you.”

babe laughs and pulls gene in for another kiss.

@captain--trash - thanks!

end me a pairing and an au and i’ll make an aesthetic post + ficlet 

[thevesseler]

Superbia, Part 3

Beginning of Story

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter [TBC]

This one’s kind of a long one, sorry.

[The perpetual frown stuck on your face deepens; not only are you finding yourself with rabbit on your plate once AGAIN, but you think the fairies might not be able to recognize you without the goofy grin you always wore around... her.  God.  Every time you think about how you coped with it, you shudder knowing it hit the rest of them hard at least tenfold.  You mutter under your breath.]

MILENAH:  Stupid lack of GPS signal, Stupid Terys for leading, stupid me for following, and thinking I could do any of this again!  But most importantly, stupid Grienburgh being in danger in the first place!

[After being overcome with Shoulder Infatuation, Lauren declared that your party would be spared immediate punishment, and instead treated to a nice “dinner”–if you can even call it that–until they figure out what to do with you.  Since then, they've taken you back to their commune.]

[Time did nothing to Lauren since you last saw her.  She's clearly trying to fill the shoes of the departed eldest the best she can, but you can tell even after the death there's a middle child inferiority complex brewing within.  Iris, on the other hand, gives you the evil eye from across the table.  This should come as no surprise to you; she was always far more perceptive than she was given credit for, and it's always been clear which of your late friend's younger sisters she was closer to.  No fault to Lauren, but she was often a little... in her own world.]

[Terys has already lost interest in trying to seduce her, but she hasn't taken the hint.]

LAUREN: You know, I've never seen a mustache up close before!  Does it ever get caught in anything?

TERYS: …

LAUREN: The strong silent type, are you?  I don't mind, though I can only hope you'll tell me why its color doesn't match that of the hair on your head.  With locks like that, you could be Iris' twin!

[Iris doesn't avert her gaze from you.  Even then, she still has something to say.]

IRIS: No thanks, I'd kill myself if I looked like that.

LAUREN: Hah! Ahahah!  She knows not what she speaks!

TERYS: I don't need your validation, I know how I look.

[Lauren tosses a bone at Iris' head with impeccable accuracy.]

LAUREN: We have guests, sister, please show them some hospitality!

[Iris mumbles something, only loud enough for Sarjane, sitting adjacent to her, to hear.]

SARJANE: Wait, hold up– Who's Macki?

[The tension in the air becomes twice as thick as Lauren tenses up, her knife nearly going through the wood of the table.  It's a unique knife, possibly customized and seemingly too big for eating.]

LAUREN: Iris... why would you bring up Ma–

IRIS: She was our sister.

[Your three friends lean forward in their seats.  You force yourself to zone out, expecting everything to fall apart.]

IRIS: Much like us, she had no interest in letting any human who wandered into our woods go on their merry way.  Except one. Her reasoning... was that she had fallen in love with her.  She passed the teachings of her craft onto her, too...

[She finally tears her gaze from you, looking down at her lap.]

IRIS: There's a wing-hoarding dragon who guards the caves, and sleeps on a pile of wings he's ripped off of other fairies over the years.  Macki wanted to make sure she and the human could defend each other while hunting in the forest.  Then one day, as the human was supposed to accompany her for their next hunt, she decided to sleep in, letting Macki go off on her own.  So what do you think happened next?

[Nobody dares ask.]

IRIS: By the time the she found her in the middle of the woods, Macki had already bled out.  We could've killed that human, but instead, Lauren let her go.

LAUREN: What would you have done?  I think it's what Macki would've wanted.

IRIS: ...Maybe.  How could you know for sure?  You're not Macki.

[Lauren twists the knife further into the wood.]

WYNTRAM: If you don't mind me asking, who was the human?

[Son of a bitch!]

IRIS: Her name was... uhh, M...Mi–Michelle.

[She shoots Lauren a look.]

LAUREN: That's right, it was Michelle.

IRIS: It was definitely Michelle.

[You don't know why the fairies are trying to protect your identity, but they're doing a terrible job of it.  Perhaps they just don't want to start any drama.  Seeing your chance, you decide to be bold.]

MILENAH: Now that that's behind us, what do we have to do to get you to trust humans again?

[Iris' lips tighten, forming a flat line.  You know it's already too late for her to go back on “Michelle.”]

LAUREN: Well, there really isn't anything you can do.  If it weren't for your handsome devil of a friend here, we would've punished you on the spot!

TERYS: You're welcome.

LAUREN: However, I have an interesting proposition.  Other than Macki, there isn't a pair of hands in our commune that can best my good little sister at archery.  If one of you could take on Iris and win, we'll grant you mercy, as well as our utmost respect.

[Your friends all turn to you.]

LAUREN: Of course, if you lose, we'll have to open up the portal to our own realm.  It's a lovely place to visit, but it's not so fun to live there, especially if you aren't a fairy.  Our queen could always use some more court entertainers, though.

[Your heart sinks.  You spot Terys from across the table, his arms instinctively wrapped around his abdomen, knowing what this would mean for him if you lost.  So it's come to this.]

LAUREN: Of course, you could always forfeit right now–

MILENAH: No!

[Iris grins smugly at you.]

IRIS: Oh?

MILENAH:  I'll take you on, I haven't missed a shot in years.  Soon enough, you'll understand the utility of a human!

[Wyntram and Sarjane, who had been holding their breaths the entire time, let out a sigh of relief.]

IRIS: Tomorrow morning, as soon as the sun rises.  I'll send someone to wake you up.

LAUREN: In the meantime, feel free to spend the night in our spare cabins!  We have two, which should be enough to accommodate four humans.  Have a good rest, for it might be your last.

[Time is of the essence, and these assholes are holding your party up by making you stay overnight.  The walk to the cabins is eerily quiet.  Two male fairies, both holding bukkehorns, stand outside the entrances.]

IRIS: They're here to make sure you don't escape in the middle of the night.

MILENAH: Wouldn't dream of it.

SARJANE: Well, I guess this is good-night for now.  And don't worry, we'll be there to cheer you on.  You're gonna be great!

MILENAH: I know, but don't jinx it.

[Sarjane grabs Wyntram's hand and starts pulling him toward the left cabin.]

SARJANE: This one is guarded by a cuter guy.

WYNTRAM: That's... subjective.

[He turns to Terys, who hasn't spoken a word since “You're welcome.”]

WYNTRAM: See you tomorrow, man.

TERYS: ...It healed so long ago... why does it still hurt...

[For a brief second, Wyntram looks considerably worried.]

SARJANE: There he goes with that vague cryptic BS again.  Come on, doc, I wanna see if they have indoor plumbing!

[Night falls, and much to Sarjane's disappointment, the cabins do not in fact have indoor plumbing.]

SARJANE: What do you think fairy shit looks like?

[Wyntram doesn't look up from his phone.  The cabin has no charger, and the battery should run out in a few hours, but that doesn't stop him from looking at the black screen in locked mode.]

WYNTRAM: Who knows?  Maybe flowers.  Like those hydrangeas.

SARJANE:  Noooo! I put those all over my face!

WYNTRAM: Heh.

SARJANE: You were a bioengineer, didn't you ever work on fairies?

WYNTRAM: Honestly?  No.  My town generally thought they were a myth, and anyone who claimed to see them was usually laughed off the mountain.

SARJANE: How many people can be laughed off the mountain before a scientist says “Hey, maybe what they're saying isn't totally made up”?

WYNTRAM: Since I started working, seven and counting.

SARJANE: Geez.  That is, like, five too many.

[Wyntram's message chime rings out in the hollow cabin.]

SARJANE: Looks like you get some service here after all.  Is it Dael?

WYNTRAM: No, it's my cousin.

“Hey DorkFuck 5000, have you watched The Stepford Wives yet?”

WYNTRAM: She likes to send me old movie recommendations that she thinks I'll overanalyze.

[He unlocks the screen to respond.]

“Which version?  I liked the remake better, but you can't tell me Joanna's marriage to Walter wasn't compulsory heterosexuality.  It's like they told her she had to choose a guy to marry, she threw a dart at a board, it landed on a picture of a deflated scrotum that looks like Matthew Broderick and she said 'Him, I guess...'”

SARJANE: That's not over-analysis, that's just fact.

WYNTRAM: Look at your own phone.

[The following silence between them lasts three minutes before either decides to say something.]

WYNTRAM: Man, this sucks.  Why do I always get stuck with you?

SARJANE:  Whoa, wait a minute!

WYNTRAM: No– Shit!  Hold on, that's not what I meant.  It just seems like every time we camp or stay at inns, the two of us always end up rooming together.  Like I get it, we're really good friends, but sometimes, I feel like there's other people I need to talk to once in a while.

SARJANE: Hey, you're not still thinking about what he said outside the cabin, are you...?

WYNTRAM: …

[She crosses her arms.]

SARJANE: Oh? Ohohohoho???? Could it be the good doctor actually has genuine friendly concern for people other than Hard Glass Mazdaki?

WYNTRAM: Yeah, of course!  I'm human!  But please don't call yourself that.

SARJANE: The point is, you say this sucks.  I think I know how to make it un-suck.

[You wish you knew how to make him respond to you.  Anything, even an insult, would do.  If it weren't for the guards outside, Terys would probably leave the cabin to “meditate,” or whatever he claims to do to let off steam when he's alone.]

MILENAH: Big day tomorrow.

TERYS: …

MILENAH: You know, I took another one of your manuscript pages again.  Doesn't that piss you off?

TERYS: ..

MILENAH: Well, in the event that it doesn't, let me show you what I've been working on for you.

TERYS: .

[You slip the manuscript page onto his side of the cabin.  He scans it from where he sits.]

MILENAH: It's supposed to be a resurrection spell.  Our biggest concern was that since we don't have a healer, what are we gonna do if one of us drops dead?  This melody is the answer, the spell is a one-use-per-fight sort of thing, though, so use it wisely.  I call it... “Bring to Life.”

[He crumples the paper into a ball and throws it at you.]

MILENAH: Please don't tell me it's already been done!

TERYS: ….........

[You slam your head against the cabin wall.]

MILENAH: I'm not going to lose, you know!

TERYS: You better not.

MILENAH: I'm no fool!  I know what losing means for you, and I'm not gonna let you go through that again.

TERYS:  You better not.

MILENAH: Don't you have any faith in me?

TERYS: What difference does it make, how much I have in you?  Of course I do, but if you lose to that fairy, what will it even count for in the end?

[You'd normally try to give him some speech about moral support and The Power of Friendship that you only half-believe yourself, but you're interrupted by a knock on the door.  You walk over to answer it.]

MILENAH: Hm?

GUARD FAIRY: You have visitors.

[Behind him is Sarjane standing by her own cabin's guard, and Wyntram off to the side.]

SARJANE: Hey Millie, guess what?  I'm stealing you!

MILENAH: Why?

SARJANE: It doesn't matter, don't worry about it.

[You walk out the door to follow her and the guard, when you notice Wyntram stay put.]

MILENAH: Shouldn't he be following us?

SARJANE: It's fine!  The cabin can only fit two people!

MILENAH: Huh?  But then that means–

SARJANE: It's fiiine!

[As Sarjane approaches the door to open it, the subjectively cuter guard returns to his post.  She shuts the door behind you.]

SARJANE: Sorry I used you like that.  I just had to get those two alone.

[You feign offense.]

MILENAH: I'm hurt.  You don't like spending time with me?

SARJANE: Never said that.  How are you holding up?  Knowing your record, I think that violet-mopped malcontent will be in for a rude awakening tomorrow.

MILENAH: Which one, Iris or Terys?  Depending on who you're referring to, what you said has two entirely different meanings.

SARJANE: Pssh.  

[She causally walks over and flops onto her bed.]

SARJANE: Still, this lady seems pretty sure of herself, and according to the Orange One, their sister was even better.  Do you think she can do that thing where you pin the onion ring to the tree?

MILENAH: No idea.  Macki didn't teach me that one.

[Your blood freezes as you realize what you've just said.]

SARJANE: A-ha!

MILENAH: Yoooouuu!  You tricked me!

SARJANE: I did nothing, “Michelle.”  You just have a loose tongue.

MILENAH:  Die.

SARJANE: Oh, it's not like I'll tell anyone.

[You take a seat on Wyntram's bed, which you guess is yours now.]

MILENAH: Everyone in this commune knows what I did, but none of them will admit it's me.  All of this could have been avoided if we just went left like I wanted.

SARJANE: True, but think how much less I'd know about you if we did.

MILENAH: I don't have a loose tongue.  But I am a hypocrite.  I hold on to all of my friends' biggest secrets and guard them with my life, but then I don't trust them enough to share my own.  Can you blame me?  The incident with Macki wasn't my proudest moment.  It's funny... the day it happened, I swore it wasn't my fault.  I never sleep in, it's not my nature.  That morning, I felt... wrong.  Completely disoriented.  Why was I so tired the night before?

SARJANE: More importantly, the fairies had to hunt in pairs before you came along, right?  So why did she go off to hunt alone instead of asking someone else to go with her?

[You never considered that.]

MILENAH: I don't know her reasons.  I wish I could ask her.

SARJANE: Iris said Macki was in love with you.  I'd kill to hear your side of that story.

MILENAH: I actually never knew for sure.  She spent a lot of time with me, taught me everything I know, and told me how pretty I was, but does that really mean love?

SARJANE: You can't rule it out, I mean, you can't blame her for thinking yo–

MILENAH: ?

SARJANE: Ha!  I just remembered something!

[She's visibly sweating.  You don't think she knows how much louder she's speaking than she was a moment ago.]

SARJANE: Dinner!

MILENAH: What...

SARJANE: You didn't have any!

MILENAH: Well, I didn't want to eat rabbit.  I'll be fine, I can still shoot on an empty stomach.

SARJANE: You say that now until you pass out and impale yourself on your own arrows.

MILENAH: You've got an active imagination.  Now, what were you trying to say before?

[She ducks underneath the covers.]

SARJANE:  Good night!