#Maybe one day I'll revisit the idea of a “Minervas Den rewrite” because my opinion on the hypothetical idea of a better version of the game | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

annihilatius · 2 months ago

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The reason why I hate interacting with fandoms especially on Tumblr and AO3 is because I have this insecurity where I feel intimidated by people I think are smarter than me (probably the mental illnesses) and when it comes to mature game series' with layered complex subjects and issues in the canon material y'know like Bioshock it feels like nearly EVERYONE is smarter than me so I just stay in my own little hole where I don't feel like I have to compete to be the most "right" with others. When it comes to characters or subjects I don't give a shit about it doesn't make me feel anything because I didn't have any particular opinion on it anyway so theres no room for me to feel like I'm wrong, but when it comes to characters I am passionate about and someone else imposes on it with an idea I've never even considered my brain immediately goes into "Are You Challenging Me" mode.

This isn't meant to be a vent post it's just me rambling because I'm stressed and I also don't expect anyone to relate to this but ... hell idk. I know it's just fandom it's not real none of this matters in judging someones intellect, but I guess it's because I hate feeling like I'm stupid yet I can't shake this feeling that I'll never be smart. And anytime I feel like I finally said something remarkable or insightful someone butts in with something I wish I had thought of first. I want to be smart I want to be someone other people look up to and consider the ideas of but I never will be because my ideas are shit. Am I just a bad storywriter? Because anytime I try to make my own original story or add onto one that already exists, I completely fumble it and end up abandoning it either out of loss of motivation or realizing it's a lost cause. I'd like to write something good someday that invites a new idea to people's heads that they didn't consider before but I'm so uncreative that I don't feel like I'll ever get anywhere. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING I have all of these unrelated parts that I WANT to do something with but I don't know how to feasibly stick them together and everyone does it so easily

#v.txt #It's not surprising that the rare moments of intelligent insight I have on stories is based off of my own experiences in life #With the whole saying of “write what you know” and all #I'm gonna be honest lads I'm not at all an expert on Minervas Den I just like the characters a lot #It's hard for me to be an expert on anything Bioshock related considering how generally uneducated I am in politics #But of course I'm looking to change that because I do care about politics and if you know what's best for you you should too #Although in my own defense I don't think you *have* to be educated in politics to like the games or understand the point of them #It's just that you should probably keep your nose out of debates revolving around the political discourse of its themes #In favor of not making yourself look like a dipshit and spreading misinformation #I think I had some good ideas in the past it's just it was WAY too much and I struggled at tying it all together concisely #And kinda making Minervas Den into something it isn't?#To me the main points of MD are liberation from oppression/regaining your personhood after it was denied from you (being a Big Daddy)#And how even though AI is useful and important it can never replace actual human connection #But then I just kinda ... made Reed Wahl into a poor pathetic little meow meow who's life is so sad or whatever?#I get why I made that decision at the time but I would go about the way it's written differently now #There was more I wanted to say but I'm gonna hit the tag limit soon let me wrap it up #Once again this isn't meant to be a concise neat post it's just me talking 2 myself that some of you might like ?????#Maybe one day I'll revisit the idea of a “Minervas Den rewrite” because my opinion on the hypothetical idea of a better version of the game #Have changed a lot since last year. But my biggest points are still the same #But at best I'd probably come up with some half-decent shit that I'd proceed to do nothing with #Cause the thing is as I said I'm a bad writer I can't write for shit and anything I'm passionate enough to write about #I still have hardly any motivation for #So I keep feeling like I'm slogging behind the “competition” and if I don't keep up I'll be left behind

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