#NavigatingLife

[toldbytendo]

𝑊𝘩𝑦 𝐼 𝑛𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑎 ‘𝑆𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝐵𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑊𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑛’

At twenty-three years old, I’m realising that I actually cannot recall a single time that I expressed my feelings to someone, whether it be a family member, a friend, a partner or even a colleague without somehow being reminded that I am a ‘Strong Black Woman’ and I am officially tired.

For hundreds of years Black women have been commended and saluted for their resilience and how ‘strong’ we are, how easily we combat the situations we’re faced with and how there’s not a single trial or tribulation that could possibly destroy us. It’s like this mask, this persona that we’ve been forced to put on our entire lives despite how unfair, unrealistic and damaging it truly is, especially for our mental health and frankly it needs to die; not end, it needs to die. 

It’s not a compliment anymore, honestly, it never was. What’s more outrageous and trifling about this ‘Strong Black Woman’ trope is that it’s honestly just not true, not like it was when it first came to fruition. I’m sure decades before the Civil Rights Movement, Black women were called strong of course, but it was during this period of racial discrimination and constant prejudice that the ‘Strong Black Woman’ narrative was magnified but newsflash, we’re not living in this world anymore, yes - racial prejudice is alive and well as we know all too well but we are no longer fighting segregation and apartheid every single day and yet the ‘strong Black woman’ narrative lives on?

Why? 

Because, the ‘Strong Black Woman’ schema is an archetype an, identity that most Black women assume unconsciously, it’s passed from generation to generation and we’re encouraged to wear that identity like a badge of honour; much like the ‘work twice as hard as everyone else to succeed’ notion. It’s simply another part of 'Black Womanhood'.

This narrative has three main components; emotional restraint, independence, and worst, worst, worst of all self sacrifice - where we as Black women are encouraged to put everyone else’s needs before our own, partners, children, friends even employers, we’re celebrated for putting everything and everyone else first and ourselves, last. 

Admittedly, when I was younger, maybe ten or eleven years old, I used to love being called a ‘strong Black woman’. It made me feel like a superhero, I felt like Wonder Woman, it was a beautiful title to me, with beautiful connotations,  it made me feel indestructible and powerful; like whatever the world threw at me, I’d be able to survive it and it made me feel somehow much more bonded to all the incredible Black woman in my life, I felt such a profound sense of sisterhood and community. It was only as I got older, in my early teens that I began to question it and question how it made me feel, I would watch the Black women in my life experience hardships and simply keep moving, despite the fact that I could see their suffering, I remained in awe, my admiration and love for Black women continued as did my pride in them for remaining ‘strong’ even when I knew how difficult things were for them. In all of this pride and admiration I had for the Black women around me, I also remember feeling such a huge sense of disappoint and shame in myself for how short I seemed to fall from this title, this ‘badge of honour’ I started to feel so undeserving, like the pain and sadness that I felt somehow made me weak, that I was somehow failing at being a Black woman.

The turning point for me has been quite recent, and I’ve realised that it’s coming from a place of frustration, sadness and anger. It feels as though everywhere I look, particularly on social media but even in movies and television this hugely detrimental stereotype is still being perpetuated. It  promotes this rather dangerous ideology that the very nature of Black womanhood is to remain ‘strong’ and ‘capable’ through everything, all trauma, all pain, physical and emotional. These micro-aggressions are harmful in so many ways; they minimise the severity of Black women’s issues, and this idea that we are better at ‘managing’ and ‘coping’ discourages Black girls and women from speaking up when they need to seek help from support services. 

Having been diagnosed with depression and anxiety at multiple stages of my adult life left me with feelings that I absolutely shouldn’t have had because of this archetype. I felt like a failure, as though the state of my mental health somehow made me less of a Black woman because we’re inherently resilient. I’m expected to have my ‘little moment’, cry it out, scream, and then go back to being this monolith, and to maintain this strong maternal, nurturing, confident persona once again because I am ‘strong’. When in reality, all I want is to be validated, to be reassured that it’s okay not to be strong all the time and that I don’t need to have it together every moment of every day and to be told I’m not going absolutely mad (typically after a series anxiety attacks and sleepless nights.) 

If that’s not enough - cue the depression! That long period that feels like an eternity in your mind where you’re feeling at your lowest because by simply feeling just a little bit of human emotion, for not existing as this monolith and figurehead of strength and determination, you’re falling short of what society demands you to be. It’s guilt, shame, embarrassment, loneliness and isolation all mixed together and hitting you all at once. You start to blame yourself because it’s your brain. You start to wonder, why am I not strong enough to just ‘snap out of it’? Maybe I’m just weak, a snowflake. Imagine every possible self deprecating thought a human being could possibly have and it’s all because we’re feeling more than society tells us we should. 

This stereotype puts tremendous and completely unrealistic expectations on Black women, and little girls from very early on. How can anyone expect a Black woman to be constantly nurturing and maternal but to not lose her identity, to be sensual, but still not a whore, to be strong but still maintain a sense of cuteness and femininity, to be independent, self-sufficient but still submissive and ready to be led, confident but still shy in a hyper feminine way that makes men feel 'manly'. It’s virtually impossible to be a woman in general but women of colour carry this burden on a much more damaging scale because we’re not given the room to be weak, to experience vulnerability without consequently being a failure, unable to live up to her expectation as a ‘Strong Black Woman’. 

I know I speak for a number of Black women when I say that what we need is to be listened to, to be heard but ultimately and most importantly, we need others to be strong for us, for once. Truthfully, in my experience, it is the most draining experience in the world feeling you need to exist as a ‘Strong Black Woman’, one that reaps absolutely no rewards.

We need to be given the space to be vulnerable and soft, we require the same capacity to have a full range of human emotion as other humans do, including anger and we especially need to be able to experience and voice this anger without facing another multitude of stereotypes such as ‘angry Black woman’ or micro-aggressions such as ‘sassy’ and ‘ghetto’. 

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

[harmonyhealinghub]

Empowered Souls: Navigating Life Through a Spiritual Lens. I Am Equipped. Shaina Tranquilino March 17, 2024

Many of us find solace and strength in various aspects of our existence. While the physical and mental realms are crucial, there's an often-overlooked dimension that holds immense power – the spiritual realm. In this blog post, we explore the concept of being equipped from a spiritual perspective and how it can profoundly impact our lives.

Connecting with the Inner Self: At the core of spirituality lies the journey inward. Whether through meditation, prayer, or introspection, connecting with the inner self allows us to tap into a wellspring of wisdom and resilience. In these moments, we often discover a profound sense of purpose and a connection to something greater than ourselves.

Building Resilience in the Face of Challenges: Life is full of challenges, but a spiritual perspective equips us with the tools to face them head-on. By embracing the belief that challenges are opportunities for growth and learning, we develop resilience that helps us navigate the complexities of life. The ability to find meaning in adversity is a cornerstone of spiritual strength.

Cultivating Compassion and Empathy: Spirituality often emphasizes the interconnectedness of all beings. When we recognize the divine spark in others, it fosters compassion and empathy. These qualities become powerful tools for creating meaningful connections, fostering understanding, and contributing to a more harmonious world.

Living in Alignment with Values: Spirituality provides a framework for defining and living in alignment with our core values. Whether grounded in religious teachings or personal beliefs, this alignment serves as a guide, helping us make decisions that are congruent with our higher selves. Living authentically and in accordance with our values brings a deep sense of fulfillment.

Embracing Mindfulness and Presence: The spiritual journey often emphasizes the importance of being present in the moment. Mindfulness practices teach us to appreciate the beauty of the present, letting go of worries about the past or future. This heightened awareness not only enhances the quality of our experiences but also fosters a sense of gratitude and contentment.

Seeking Transcendence and Meaning: From a spiritual perspective, life is more than just a series of events; it is a journey toward transcendence and meaning. Whether through religious rituals, philosophical contemplation, or mystical experiences, the quest for a deeper understanding of existence enriches our lives with purpose and significance.

Being equipped from a spiritual perspective is a transformative journey that goes beyond the surface of our daily activities. It involves delving into the depths of our souls, connecting with something greater, and living in alignment with our higher selves. As we navigate the intricate tapestry of life, let us not overlook the profound impact that a spiritual perspective can have on our well-being, resilience, and the interconnectedness that binds us all. In embracing our spiritual essence, we find the strength and wisdom needed to navigate the complexities of our human experience.

[jaggedjawjosh]

Adulting (Explicit)

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/OUQG8i-qVfc

🎬 YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@Flickerbound

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[adiyo]

Balancing My Stage Persona with My Private Self: Anyone Else Struggle with This?

As someone who loves being on stage, I’ve often found myself battling with a strange paradox. When I’m performing, it feels like I’m stepping into my most authentic self—confident, expressive, and free. There's something electrifying about the connection with an audience, the thrill of captivating a room, and the joy of sharing my art. But when the curtain falls and the spotlight fades, I find myself retreating, wanting nothing more than to disappear into the background.

Offstage, I’m much more incognito, preferring a life where attention isn’t constantly drawn to me. It’s like the energy I put out while9 performing needs to be recharged by quiet, private time where I can just be. It’s made it tough for me to reconcile these two parts of myself: the performer who craves the spotlight and the private person who thrives on solitude and minimal attention.

This inner conflict has become especially challenging as I’ve tried to put myself out there through other outlets, like social media or YouTube. On one hand, I want to share more of my journey, connect with others, and explore new ways to express myself. But on the other hand, I hesitate. I fear that I wouldn’t be a good fit for platforms like YouTube because, honestly, I feel like I don’t have much to offer beyond my performances.

More than that, I’m such a private person. The idea of sharing intimate details of my life, daily routines, or personal struggles—things that a lot of content creators do so naturally—feels daunting and unnatural to me. I look at other creators and think, "What could I possibly offer that would be of value to others?" I see people opening up their lives in ways that build connection and community, but when I think about doing the same, I feel a bit lost.

How do I show up authentically in a world that often asks for so much personal transparency? Where is the line between being vulnerable and oversharing? I’m still figuring it out.

I know I’m not alone in this struggle. Maybe some of you out there also have this split between your public and private selves, where one thrives in the spotlight and the other craves solitude. How do you bridge the gap? How do you show up in the world—whether online or offline—without feeling like you’re betraying one part of yourself?

If anyone else is going through something similar, I’d love to hear how you navigate it. Let’s figure this out together.

[deathssubbymoondust]

Caught Between Moments and Madness

Done with uni, and it’s finally sinking in. there’s this strange sensation, like a door closing behind me and another one barely cracked open in front. i’m happy, sure, but there’s this emptiness too—a hollow space that used to be filled with the certainty of what comes next. now it’s just this vast, open question, and i feel like i’m already lagging behind, like life’s this marathon and everyone else is a mile ahead. how do you just exist in the moment when the future feels like it’s rushing at you, full speed, and you’re not even sure you’ve got your shoes on the right feet?

i saw my partner again, finally, and there’s something so grounding in our connection. i love the duality of us��the way we can slip between the sheets..., but also just be together, two souls tangled up in something deeper. it’s like we’ve built this world where i can be my messy, chaotic self, and he still looks at me like i’m something worth holding onto. i love him so fiercely, it almost scares me. but sometimes my feelings get all tangled up in knots, and i don’t know what to do with them. i shut down, like a machine overheating, and my mind whispers maybe it’s easier to break it all apart. it’s not him, not really, just this weird, temporary numbness that washes over me when i’m overwhelmed.

and work. god, the whole thing with the sexual harassment... it’s like, do men even hear themselves? he apologized, sure, but then he had the audacity to deny it all happened, to put the blame on me for not saying ‘stop.’ as if it’s not basic decency to know you shouldn’t touch someone without their consent. fuck that. fuck you, seriously.

right now, i’m just here, my thoughts a whirlwind of contradictions. i feel like i’m standing on a tightrope, balancing between happy and sad, good and bad, and it’s exhausting. adulthood is this weird, endless maze, and sometimes it feels like there’s no exit.

i keep telling myself i need to learn how to savor the moment, to find joy in the here and now, but my mind is always spinning with a hundred different ‘what ifs.’ i need to find new things that light me up, need a routine to steady me, need to get better, healthier. but it’s all so overwhelming, this constant pressure to do more, be more. sometimes i just want to scream into the void because it’s like i want everything and nothing, all at once.

so maybe, for now, i’ll just try to be. to sit with myself and all this messy, complicated stuff that makes up who i am.

it’s my life, after all. just mine. and maybe that’s the most terrifying and liberating thing of all.

[theloulouge]

Life Lens - Entry 180

Living Between Logic & Emotion It’s strange how the mind and heart can seem like they’re on completely different wavelengths. My brain is all about logic, analyzing situations, and thinking things through. When I express my thoughts based on reason, I often come across as cold or uncaring because I’m prioritizing what makes the most sense, not necessarily what feels the best. It’s not that I…

[affiliateavenue03]

"Today's generation is both blessed and burdened by endless possibilities—surrounded by information but searching for meaning, connected to the world yet longing for genuine connection. The challenge is to find balance in a world of extremes."

[astrologerspell]

BK Shandilya Ji: Navigating Life's Course in USA, UK, Canada, Australia 🌠 Contact Us Now, For A Detailed One On One Talk +91 9888822235 🌠.

BK Shandilya Ji serves as a trusted guide in navigating life's course across the USA, UK, Canada, and Australia. With his profound wisdom and intuitive insight, he assists individuals in overcoming obstacles and seizing opportunities. BK Shandilya Ji's guidance is a beacon of light, offering clarity and direction amidst life's uncertainties.

[leonys1713]

"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

[kathybarnes]

Have you ever felt lost, adrift in a vast ocean of confusion? Maybe life’s storms have tossed you about, leaving you clinging to hope, unsure of where the next wave will crash. Perhaps you’ve whispered a silent question in this darkness: does God even see me? The answer is an emphatic yes. But knowing His love and truth can feel shrouded in mist. Thankfully, you don’t have to navigate this path alone. You can go on a breathtaking journey alongside Lucius, a Roman soldier grappling with similar questions in the captivating novel Lucius: A Soldier’s Journey “A Man’s Search For Truth” by author Rev. Michael H. Lavery...

[jaggedjawjosh]

Adulting (Explicit)

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/OUQG8i-qVfc

🎬 YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@Flickerbound

🛍️ Etsy Shop: https://flickerbound.etsy.com

[jgregsawyer]

Join us on "Ask Mom and Dad" to gain a fresh perspective on life, faith, and the search for truth. **Section 1 - "Rediscovering Faith over Knowledge"**: Join us as we delve into why parents today are increasingly obsessed with knowledge and education for their children. Are we overemphasizing the wrong things? Mom and Dad express their concern and discuss how placing the fear of the Lord at the center of life can guide us to wisdom, knowledge, and truth. The message is clear: Faith is more important than mere information. **Section 2 - "Suffocating in an Information-Soaked World"**: Information overload! We live in a world filled with constant advertisements and data. Mom and Dad will explain the suffocating effect of too much information, like a smog in a city, and why it's essential to find moments of stillness amid the chaos to hear the truth. Learn how to cut through the clutter and discover the reality that lies beneath the surface. **Section 3 - "Intimate Relationship with Truth"**: Mom and Dad explore the intimate connection between knowing truth and having a deep relationship with Jesus. They dive into the role of faith, truth, and relationships in navigating a world flooded with information. In a world where right and wrong can blur, find out why a solid foundation in faith is your compass to discerning the truth. Subscribe today to "Ask Mom and Dad" and remember, faith, not knowledge, is the key to unlocking the truth. Don't miss out on this incredible podcast journey! 🌟🙏 #AskMomAndDadPodcast

[otaviogilbert]

Finding Your Way When You Are Lost | Walt Hampton

Join on a journey of self-discovery as they explore the art of finding your way when you're lost. In this inspiring and insightful video, I'll share practical tips and profound wisdom to help you navigate life's challenges and uncertainties. Discover the inner compass that can guide you towards your true path and purpose. Don't miss this opportunity to empower yourself and find clarity in times of confusion.

[astroramtulasiji]

Before seeking consultation, it's advisable to conduct thorough research, peruse testimonials, and understand Astro Ram Ji's approach. Keep an open mind and maintain realistic expectations while navigating life's challenges. Prioritize your overall well-being and seek professional assistance for medical or mental health concerns. #JourneyToHappiness #AstrologyWisdom #NavigatingLife #SpiritualAwakening #GuidanceForWellness