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Here, let me take a break from ranting about cults to talk about something nice and uncontroversial (ha): homeschooling.
And by “talk about homeschooling,” I mean “copy/paste a comment from Ozy’s blog, because it got sufficiently long to be maybe worth sharing on my own.”
I was homeschooled much like this! And so have Many Thoughts. Apologies for the absurdly long comment.
(Well, my parents would never describe themselves as “unschoolers” in a million years — they’d say “classical/eclectic” if asked — but “classic homeschoolers who pay serious attention to the child’s interests” and “unschoolers who pay serious attention to the three R’s” probably converge at some point.)
I had a very very positive experience with homeschooling overall (and am happy to expound on it at length; my parents are very Into educational theory, and included me in the discussions as I got older).
(Braggy data on success thereof, which I blush to include, but: I ended up graduating at 16, attending a college in the top 20 in my field, and recently getting accepted to a good grad school with tuition waiver, TA position, and fellowship. On the non-math side, I double-majored in honors liberal arts, and was nationally competitive in fencing in high school. My 13-year-old sister is auditing her first college class (discrete math), regularly runs local 5- and 10Ks and places top in her age group, and wants to be a surgeon. The 10-year-old is on Suzuki book 3 for cello, and one of the top students in the local string project. All of us were reading at two, reading chapter books at three, and won various impressive things in lots of math competitions as well as the private-school-equivalent-of-UIL.)
So from that experience, some thoughts:
(1) The sleep thing is so so so true. Easily the #1 thing my non-homeschooled friends were jealous of. (#2 was not having to take the state’s standardized tests.) Possibly this is outdated science, but my understanding is that teenagers are actually just biologically wired to go to bed later and sleep in later than adults.
(2) Exercise, yes! Homeschooling and exercise and free-range kids all fit very nicely together. I did lots of biking and swimming and hiking and roller-blading and just running about wildly; it definitely contributed that by the time I was in double digits I was allowed to ride my bike anywhere within about a ten-block radius (the boundaries were defined by the nearest streets busy enough to be dangerous), so I got lots of exercise just getting around.
(3) Something of a follow-up on that last: if your kids are going to be running around unsupervised outdoors during school hours, you should probably make sure you’re clear on the local homeschooling laws, and then coach them on how to talk to a policeman. My parents did that for me, which was good, because it did in fact happen a few times that a policeman stopped me and asked some very pointed questions about whether I was playing hooky.
My instructions were: be polite; say “yes, officer, no, officer”; explain that I was homeschooled, and it was my recess [we didn’t have anything that formal, but easier to say that than explain your entire homeschooling philosophy]; if they insisted on taking me to the station, comply and then ask for my parents until they were provided.
The last stage of that never in fact came into play; the policemen always went “oh, okay. My sister homeschools! Do you like it?” and let me go (once with instructions to go get a better lock for my bike).
(4) I absolutely approve of homeschooling as “hey, let’s test out our kooky educational theories!” That’s exactly what my parents did. (My dad’s pet theory is that algebra should be introduced alongside arithmetic, and slopes alongside fractions. All three of us turned out super-math-y. Just saying…)
(5) One of the best things about homeschooling is a 1:1 (or close to it, if you have multiple kids) student:teacher ratio. Take full advantage of this.
(6) Yes, the math thing! A depressing number of homeschooled kids end up with poor math skills. It doesn’t help that it’s usually the mom homeschooling, and women seem to have even more of a tendency to go “oh, I can’t do math, it’s scary” than men. (Not claiming that women are inherently worse at math or anything; this seems to be pretty clearly a response to cultural pressure.)
Hiring grad students is a good idea; they’re interested in the subject, have some teaching experience, are usually lonely for their own families/younger siblings, and will work for dirt cheap. My family did a lot of that for me.
Beware of Khan Academy and various other “teach your kid math for you” services; these tend to prey on this phenomenon. Parents will pay ridiculous amounts of money for canned math curricula, because they’re so nervous about their own abilities; and while I know a lot of public-schooled people who used Khan Academy on their own after school and liked it, it really doesn’t substitute for an actual math teacher, especially for kids who aren’t inherently super-math-gifted. If you want a math curriculum, consider looking into Art of Problem Solving.
(7) A common unschooling failure method is: the kid spends twelve hours a day playing minecraft, the parent decides this is Probably Educational He’s Learning About Architecture Or Something, at eighteen he still can’t read or multiply. (My parents tend to refer to this as “nonschooling.”)
Making the three R’s less optional will probably help with that. Also, it seems like there’s something to be said for helping kids do things that they first-level don’t want to do but second-level do want to do. Plenty of adults use things like leechblock, or accountability to a friend, to serve the same function; a kid can’t reasonably be expected to have mastered using those tools, so a parent reminding them to turn off the computer and go work on their exhaustively detailed pyramid replica they love seems like a good thing.
C. S. Lewis actually brings something like this up in the Screwtape Letters (as part of an analogy for spiritual growth, but whatever). He points out that reading children’s versions of Greek myths is fun, and learning the first handful of Greek words is fun; and that being able to read Hesiod in the original is also fun; but in between, there’s a lot of drudgery with memorizing paradigms and struggling through translations. Even a kid who’s really passionate about Greek may need to be nagged a bit on a day-to-day basis to go review their verb tenses; it seems hard on a twelve-year-old to require them to have the intrinsic motivation to do that without any authority figure nudging them.
In my family, what this looked like on the day-to-day level was: my parents would tell me things like “no, go do your translations before you play” or “don’t forget you need to spend 30 minutes working on chemistry at some point this evening.” (Not very unschool-y, I admit.) But they’d be flexible about it, if I’d gotten really into researching the mathematics of swarming behavior or something.
And if some subject was consistently a cause of misery for me — not just “ugh, organic compounds, whyyy” but genuine “I hate this, it’s boring, I don’t want to do it,” every time over a period of days or weeks — they’d discuss with me whether I genuinely wanted to quit the subject. (It was really really clear that this was actually an option, and I wouldn’t be in trouble for choosing it or anything, which was crucial.)
I nearly always, given some space to think about it, decided that I wanted to keep working on the subject. Sometimes we’d decide to put it on the back burner for a while and come back to it next semester, or to skip to a different part of the subject and come back to that one another time, or try a different textbook, or find a tutor. Occasionally I did decide I was done with the subject, and they respected that.
I think this worked out really well. The only two subjects I can think of that I decided to totally quit were piano and Latin, and in retrospect both were absolutely the right call. Piano I quit after a year, and I recall absolutely none of it; I’m profoundly unmusical and was a disaster at it and hated it, and don’t wish in the least that I’d kept trying. Latin I quit after eight years and an audited university class; my parents and I had a serious discussion, and agreed that while I was glad to have studied Latin I wasn’t interested in pursuing it at a higher level, and that “took a class on the Aeneid in Latin” would be a good milestone for having mastered it to a casual-reading-of-Latin-texts level, and so I did that and then quit. I’m a little rusty, now, but given a dictionary and grammar can still read Latin texts fairly comfortably.
(8) I think you’re overestimating the difficulty of learning a foreign language. I had a friend growing up who was German/English bilingual, as was his mother; my mom tutored him in literature in exchange for his mother spending an hour or so a week talking with me in German. Afterwards my friend and I would hang out, and were encouraged to talk in German.
In addition, I did Rosetta Stone (pricey but effective, immersion-based) and later the Foreign Service Insitute’s course (free online if you can find it, or cheap to buy; immersion-based; meant for diplomats who are told ‘okay, you’re going to Germany in a month, be ready.’) (I also did another online course at one point, but it wasn’t very good.)
By the time I graduated high school, I was able to (with reference to a dictionary) read genuine literature in German; Goethe and Rilke were my favorites. My accent was apparently very good; I was asked more than once if my parents were native speakers (e.g. by the instructor in the not-so-good online course). I got a 4 on the German language AP test, which exempted me from all foreign language requirements in college (which I’m very grateful for; college language classes are super-intensive).
And — in some sense, the most important — when I spent a semester abroad, I was comfortably able to get around Vienna for a week or so speaking to people in German. (It helped in Hungary, too; Hungarian is hard and I learned very little, but nearly everyone spoke either English or German.)
I think key elements in that were: I started early (I was seven when I met my friend); I spent a good amount of time with a native speaker; and everything I did was immersion-based. The not-so-good course I took wasn’t mostly immersion-based, and I actually found that very frustrating, because I had to keep switching languages in my head; eventually I convinced the teacher to just talk to me in German all the time, which everyone else found very impressive but made it much easier for me.
(9) What you’ve said about the social issues all sounds right. I think the value of just escaping the social pressures of middle school isn’t to be underestimated; I know a surprising number of people whose parents homeschooled them /just for middle school/.
I got to spend my early teens dressing however I felt like (frequently ridiculously), wearing no makeup, hanging out with boys as friends, and not being at all self-conscious about any of it. My friends in public school were constantly worried about their appearance and their weight — and I don’t mean this as “I was a better person than them” or anything like that, I mean that other girls made nasty remarks to them constantly, and I escaped that. I’m very glad to see my sisters getting the same benefit.
(10) Also: bullying. Or, rather, not. The vast majority of my friends who were in public school were bullied, at least at some point; many of them still deal with ongoing trauma from that.
I encountered bullies — twice, total. The first time was in elementary school, in a homeschool group, and my mom promptly picked up on it and got the bully kicked out — she was able to both notice and do something about it, neither of which parents of kids in school can usually do. The second time was in middle school, in my fencing club; I took it to the instructor promptly, because I had spent my whole life with authority figures who listened to me and trusted me and acted productively on that. She had a very stern talk with the much older teenager in question, and he left me alone from then on.
Honestly, I’m pretty sure the bullying issue alone justifies homeschooling.
#homeschool alumna#homeschooling#amateur opinions about child rearing#bullying cw#school cw#mine#long
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2017 Recap
“I feel sorry for people that don't drink because when they wake up in the morning, that is the best they're going to feel all day.” - Frank Sinatra
After a memorable run spanning most of 2 decades, 2017 will forever be remembered as the final Rogue Cup hosted at the Rogue Headquarters at Deep Creek Lake. In 2016, the prospect that our epic run of terrible golf at Deep Creek might end hung like a long shadow over the event....(not really - we acted as stupidly as ever). But 2017 had a sense of finality to it, so when the opportunity presented itself to gather at the lake one last time, a small band of 8 players packed their bags and set their nav systems to head toward western Maryland.
While outsiders observing the Rogue Cup might equate the event to Lemony Snicket's "A Series of Unfortunate Events", it actually reveals itself to be a finely-tuned, constantly evolving, randomly-strung-together approach to golf and drinking. As the small group discussed logistics for the weekend, some evolutionary thinking arose from the primordial ooze to reshape the event. Notably, for the first time ever at Deep Creek, neither Oakland nor Wisp hosted the practice round or actual Rogue round. Instead, we opted to venture westward through the picturesque mountains of West Virginia and conquer/butcher two completely new courses (more on the new venues later). William the Explorer showed an extraordinary amount of initiative by taking the lead - scouting the options, selecting the courses and arranging tee times for the group. As happened the previous year, Goldy, PA & William decided to tackle Lodestone as a pre-practice round practice round; more on that later. Secondly, in a radical departure from the traditional challenge of individual achievement, we went to a team-based approach in 2017 (we finally realized 2 people were needed just to remember the scores). And perhaps most significantly, the Rogues grew up - we repealed the longstanding rule (some called it an expectation) about consumption and agreed everyone could simply consume at their own pace without the threat of disqualification.
With no threats of bad weather, the Rogues could focus on what mattered most..... whatever that was.
The 2017 event offered up a field of 8 players: PA, Goldy, William, Andrew, B. "Zero" Smith, G. "Should Be Better" Berner, Ed "Tiger" Moore and Gary "Sandy Bags" Ozenbaugh. After many years hosting the awards BBQ, Mr. Sautter had to bow out due to his move from Pennsylvania to the fine little hamlet of Port Deposit, MD. Schnetzler was a no-show because he was on the wrong side of the country, while Turner was attending his high-school reunion (which probably rivals the Rogue in terms of behavior). Jaybird Erbe had family commitments that kept him mercifully without a golf club in hand. The usual expected no-shows (Walter, Luigi) were once again, no-shows. Of those in attendance, no one appeared willing to admit playing any golf all year and all players loudly proclaimed themselves worse than the other. A typical Rogue Cup starting point.
In the not-too-distant future, in what will be known in Rogue lore as the closing chapter of the "Deep Creek era", it's only fitting that my recollection and ability to achieve an accurate recounting from sketchy notes is getting sketchier than ever. WIth that disclaimer, thus follows the brief events of 2017 -
Wednesday - PA arrived on Wednesday afternoon to handle the usual opening routine of inspecting and readying the house; he greeted Goldy & William upon their arrival that evening, at which point they dashed over to Uno's for a late dinner (and more importantly, to get there before the bar closed). After returning and settling in for the evening, some minor gurgling noises began emanating from PA's digestive system and quickly became volcanic, lasting the entire night and beyond the sunrise (I'll skip the graphic details).
Thursday - William & Goldy departed for Lodestone, leaving PA languishing in bed, desperate for even an hour of sleep. Finally rising from the carnage of Wednesday night and sporting a ghastly pale demeanor, PA gathered himself together and made it to Lodestone's first tee barely in time. Goldy and William had left an hour earlier. The group enjoyed a nice outing at Lodestone under overcast skies, although PA retired after staggering through 12 ugly holes; concerned about making it home without a bathroom stop, he headed straight back to bed. (there is a vague recollection of Smith arriving while I wallowed in catatonic discomfort during the afternoon). Rumor has it that Goldy prevailed over William on the Lodestone round, although there are no scorecards to independently validate the performance. The remainder of the Rogue field rolled into town and William produced a tasty Carolina BBQ dinner (I think). A reasonably responsible amount of socializing proceeded into the wee hours of Thursday evening. No further details are available.
Friday - the group arose and meandered rather aimlessly until Mr. Berner arrived sporting the mammoth cold-cut platter; and the feast was on. The new format, initially proposed in pre-event emails by Smith, was finalized over the Friday morning luncheon - team format with NO HANDICAPS APPLIED. The 8 golfers would be paired up based on practice round scoring - #1 with #8, #2 with #7 etc. No handicaps, total team score. Cup would be awarded to the winner, all other prizes to be placed on loan to the Rogue Cup Historical Society for permanent display.
While loading the cars, PA noticed his bag felt a bit lighter than normal and discovered he was missing a few clubs (specifically 3, 6 and 9). If he continues losing equipment at this rate, someone following him around for the next few Rogue Cups will have themselves a complete set of nice Cobra irons. The gang packed their beverages and pointed their GPS westward for our first new venue in years.
The practice round adventure was a gently winding 30 minute drive from Deep Creek. Alpine Lakes Resort, in Terra Alta, WV, is an aging, strange little place hidden on 2,000 wooded acres about 10 miles from Garrett State Forest and featuring a 150-acre lake, a motel (excuse me, "lodge") and yes - a golf course. The 6,069 yard par 72 course offers a uniquely balanced design of 6 par fives, 6 par fours and 6 par threes - with the par threes being among the most challenging you'll play anywhere. I personally found all 18 holes to be challenging, although those par 3’s approaching 200 hundred yards were particularly irritating.
The practice round got off to a cloudy start, but by the turn the afternoon produced 68 degrees under sunny skies. The round can be summarized as lots of hacks, duffs, tops, balls into hazards, along with the usual 3 and 4 putts... the notable exception was Smith, who fired a best-ever Rogue performance of 84. Clearly the lack of alcohol was changing the face of the event. Upon weaving our way back through the mountains, the now-traditional Brenda’s pizza order was placed, with Smith loudly proclaiming the need for a “2 topping” rule. I don’t remember following that, but whatever.... at the end of it all, we still ordered one pie too many.
After dining, a brief beer pong skirmish proceeded - a singular (but epic) series involved the pairings of Goldy/PA vs. Smith/Ozy. The rest of the Rogues wallowed, bellies full of pizza and beer. Echoing Neil Young’s “rust never sleeps”, the four players topped the record for combined unforced errors, although both games became nail-biters in overtime. Goldy/PA prevailed in both tiebreakers, taking the series with scores of 26-24 and 24-22, finishing off the series with a flourish as they sunk it on match point. Following the traditional handshake, Smith snatched PA’s hat from his hands and spiked it to the floor in fury.
Following the beer pong exhibition match, the “lower level” crowd descended into a fierce battle of Hearts - a battle to the death involving Ed, William, Berner & Andrew. The evening closed with some final discussion of the proposed rule changes which resulted in a suggestion that the Socks should be awarded to best Sandbagger (defined as "most improved" over practice round). The motion passed unanimously.
And the final teams for the Rogue Cup were set based on practice round scores, as follows -
Smith and Berner
WoG and Andrew
Ozy and PA
Ed & Goldy
(At least, that’s what I recall - when I find the scorecards, I'll update the story).
This scribe went off to sleep at 1AM, as the quiet of early morning descended on the lake.
Saturday - the group could hardly believe the weather forecast - sunny, highs in the 80’s, not a drop of rain in the forecast. With the traditional (and always exceptional) Berner breakfast of eggs, bacon and English muffins, the group contemplated their second untried tournament venue. Founded in 1925 on property originally belonging to George Washington, Preston Country Club (PCC) located in Kingwood, West Virginia near the Cheat River, offers golf and “dining” to the public. PCC proclaims itself as one of West Virginia's longest golf courses at 7,001 yards (from the tips). About halfway into the drive to PCC, it quickly became like riding Space Mountain - rising and falling, bobbing and weaving our way through the mountains and fighting car sickness. Upon arrival, there was a definite sense that we had crossed into some hidden world - half “Caddyshack” and half “Deliverance.” We laced up our golf shoes, paid our greens fees in the little barn of a pro shop, and walked over to the driving range. Given its claim as one of WV’s longest courses, seemed very odd that the driving range was “irons only” and limited to 200 yds. In the distance, we could hear the mortar rounds and ammo echoing from the firing ranges of Camp Dawson, the National Guard facility adjacent to the course. We knew we were in for a treat.
After some chipping-and-putting on the driving range, a final last-minute rule change was slipped into the tournament to accommodate those with “abnormally small” drivers, essentially allowing players on par 5’s to hit their tee shot from the red tees! Clearly intended to neutralize any advantage someone (like PA) might have by hitting a driver more than 175 yards, someone (like PA) objected. He was hastily and curtly overruled by the angry mob waving their rubber-coated 7 irons and wedges. Thus sparked the controversy now known as “The Great Rogue Compromise of 2017”.
The torturous mountain drive to the course was rivaled only by the quality of golf. What follows are a few vague observations from my notes capturing the essence of Saturday’s Cup round at Preston:
- Berner hits a drive that narrowly misses a parked car; re-tees and hits his next one far right across the road.... only the finest players in this tournament.
- Ozy drives ball off the fence of the military fort, still manages to make par.
- The group unanimously agreed....Ed takes forever to play golf
- PA struggles early, improves dramatically on the back nine to card a 99; despite shooting almost 100, is somehow accused of being a sandbagger.
- B. Smith, while handling a home plumbing crisis during the round, cards a 90 but it’s not enough to offset the Berner effect on a scorecard
- Ed & Goldy win the Cup with 91/92 respectively (and shamefully).
- Goldy actually DOES win the biggest sandbagger (improves by 14) & takes home the Socks; William agrees to produce certification of transfer
After winding our way back home through the switchbacks, William (who was already on his way to MVP status for the weekend), staged a stupendous Championship BBQ in the absence of usual grill master Sautter. Showing the effects of 30+ years of doing this routine, we maintained a reasonably low-key night - nursing our various aches and pains as we were treated to a college football OT thriller from Texas/USC. Meanwhile, down in the lower level Goldy & Berner set about developing a plan for world peace that no one will listen to.
As we packed our bags on Sunday, there was an overwhelming vote supporting a return to Wisp as venue for 2018, should the lake house still be our destination. Perhaps most importantly, kudos has to be shown to William for all his efforts in researching courses, booking the tee times and handling Championship BBQ duties. There is no doubt he earned his planning MVP for all his work on the 2017 event.
PostScript, May 2018- the Rogue Cup HQ has sold....we are North Carolina bound for the 2018 Cup. See you all there!
2017 Photo Gallery Here: https://photos.app.goo.gl/QVxmwu5Dkh1KaY6n8
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Hamilton County Democrats choose first women chairs in local party's history
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New Democratic co-chairs Pillich(right) and McFarlin(Left) address the crowd shortly before being elected head of hte Hamilton County Democrats(Photo: Scott Wartman/The Enquirer)Buy Photo
It was a pretty historic Saturday morning for the Hamilton County Democrats.
For the first time in 25 years, they elected new leadership. For the first time in history, the local Democratic Party will be led by women.
Hundreds of Democrats gathered at a union hall in Evendale and chose former State Rep. Connie Pillich and Springfield Township Trustee Gwen McFarlin as co-chairs of the Hamilton County Democratic Party.
“Hamilton County is on the cusp of something great,” Pillich said. “It might not be easy. It might be bumpy, but Hamilton County is going to be blue.”
McFarlin
McFarlin and Pillich will succeed attorney Tim Burke. Burke, 70, stepped down after 25 years as chairman of the Hamilton County Democrats.
The job pays nothing. But it carries a lot of influence, an influence that’s growing with the party.
Connie Pillich (Photo: Provided)
Democrats believe Pillich and McFarlin have the experience and popularity to raise substantial amounts for the party and recruit candidates.
Pillich, of Montgomery, served from 2009 to 2014 in the Ohio General Assembly as representative. She ran for the Democratic nomination for governor this year but dropped out in February. McFarlin has served as a trustee in Springfield Township since 1995 and also chairs the Hamilton County Tax Levy Review Committee, which recommends tax rates to the county commissioners.
Former Congressman Steve Driehaus nominated Pillich and McFarlin on Saturday.
He said Democrats want people who are “effective fundraisers, people that know how to win.”
“I stand here today to do something long overdue, nominate two women as chairs of the Hamilton County Democratic Party, two women that have served the party loyally and have been effective leaders,” Driehaus said.
Pillich touted the $6 million in total she’s raised as a candidate in her career and her winning the state House seat held by a Republican 38 out of 40 years. McFarlin talked about her activism and ability to recruit candidates.
“You gotta put action where your mouth is,” McFarlin said “We hit the pavement, knocked on doors.”
The decision wasn’t unanimous. A few dozen of the 258 Democratic precinct chairs stood up in favor of former municipal judge Cheryl Grant. Among her supporters was State Rep. Alicia Reece, D-Bond Hill.
The Democratic Party has alienated its base, including many in the black community, Grant said in a fiery speech.
“What did we as a party do when our boys were being beat up by police officers?” Grant said. “We were silent.”
Pillich thought Grant made good points about the party needing to be more inclusive. She believes the new leadership brings that. In addition to Pillich and McFarlin, the Democrats also elected a new slate of executive committee members. The nine-member committee has four black people, and five women.
“I think she was wise to bring those points up,” Pillich said. “Cheryl is a leader in the community, but Gwen and I do present a diverse leadership team. Our leadership board is diverse in just about every way you can be.”
A vast majority of the crowd was in favor of Pillich and McFarlin.
Newly-appointed Cincinnati School Board member Ozie Davis seconded the nomination of Pillich and McFarlin. He said he felt they would address the party’s “biggest fears.”
“We need someone that can start a conversation around reparations,” Davis said. “Who best to ignite that fire than Connie Pillich and Gwen McFarlin.”
Burke, the outgoing party chairman, received a standing ovation as he touted how much more inclusive the Democratic Party has become. Party committees have both white and black leaders. The party also worked with then-Gov. Ted Strickland to appoint four black judges and two women judges to fill vacancies, and added more diversity to the Hamilton County Board of Elections.
“The challenges are not over,” Burke said. “Protecting voting rights will continue to be a battle and organized labor will remain under attack until we change who holds public office in Washington, D.C.”
Pillich and McFarlin take over the party at a time when it has momentum in Hamilton County.
There are more Democrats. And that brings more clout.
In this May’s primary, more Democrats than Republicans voted in Hamilton County for the first time since 1982.
“You’re now the breeding ground of people that will run the county and the city of Cincinnati, ” said Ohio Democratic Chairman David Pepper, a former Cincinnati City councilman and Hamilton County commissioner. “With that comes extra importance.”
Democrats took back control of the Hamilton County Board of Commissioners in 2017 with the election of Denise Driehaus as commissioner.
They’ve also made inroads on traditionally Republican-controlled entities, such as Wyoming City Council. Four out of seven candidates won a majority on the nonpartisan council in 2017 for the first time, according to the Hamilton County Democratic Party.
“We worked hard,” McFarlin said. “We will continue to work hard to build our Democratic Party.”
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