#PROBABLY NOT GOOD FOR MY MENTAL STATE

[bioethicists]

it's actually terrifying how quickly the concept of self care (originally a radical concept rooted in the black panther party's efforts to support other black ppl living through racism) became another tool of self-management which is viewed as both a moral obligation + an individual responsibility. businesses + employers + other institutions now easily wield it as a progressive way to say "if you're upset about xyz, make yourself get over it". "we are going to treat you like shit + you need to learn how to cope with that or else you're doing something wrong"

i have seen job listings where "ability to practice self care" was listed as a requirement for employment. as a case worker, we were repeatedly drilled on "self-care" as a response to unconscionably high case loads, traumatizing experiences, dead end job obligations, + poor living conditions due to subpar pay/high stress. my clients would go to appointments regarding their evictions, food insecurity, active domestic violence situations, etc + receive tips on "self care" without any tangible community, legal, or structural support to follow.

everyone absolutely deserves to care for themselves + it is useful to circulate affirmations + advice on how to do this. this should happen within communities, through a sincere concern/love for one another, as a way of helping everyone live the best life possible while we work towards total liberation. it should not be a replacement for caring for one another!!! it should be one of many ways of caring for one another!!!

[docksidedoner]

(slaps roof of tugboat) this bad boy can fit so much military trauma in it

[recurring-polynya]

It has been 14 hours since I found out that, according to Kubo, Byakuya calls Renji by his given name "because Rukia does" and I am obsessed with this information.

This is both the best and worst possible answer to this question. I feel like if you asked Byakuya, this is exactly the reason he would give. However, if Rukia were present, she would lose her damn mind. While I do think Rukia's assertion that Byakuya didn't look at her even once in 40 years is hyperbole, over that time I can imagine Renji's name coming up in conversation once, maybe twice tops.

Like, two weeks before she goes on her fateful mission to the Living World, B's been shortlisting Vice-Captain candidates, and over dinner, real casual:

B: Rukia. You know your friend?

Rukia: My who now?

B: That friend of yours who shouts too much. The boorishly tall one. With the red hair. Is he in Squad Eleven now?

Rukia (wracking her brain frantically for people Byakuya would consider 'her friend'): You mean Renji?

B: Yes, him.

Rukia: What about him?

B: Is he in Squad Eleven? The Sixth Seat?

Rukia: ...maybe? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The next day, Byakuya's office, Renji shows up for his job interview.

B: You must be Renji.

Renji: uhhhhhhhh sure why not?

[ldpdluvr]

i lost my funny and silly bone guys, i just wanna post jokey posts but i'm honestly being affected really badly by all of the shit going on in this fandom, it's really hard for me to just "ignore" the racist and anti black fans bc it's like every other day i'm learning/seeing that fans are anti black and like i don't know how to actually exist in this fandom with all of this shit happening like i'm not joking when i say my interest has completely decreased bc of it and with the latest shit aka the fans thinking it's normal to go to a fucking plantation and take a white funko pop of a character who was a plantation owner and do a cute lil photoshoot, my interest is like almost at zero.....

i only started interacting with the fandom like 2 months ago and i'm already so tired this isn't good st all, how is this fandom this terrible for black fans, why can't ppl just be normal :(

[enhanced-operatives-division]

Let her grieve

[shooks-stupid-stuff]

obsessed with these two stupid dating teens that i've come up with recently

[itsmistyeyedbi]

So, these last few days have been...interesting. And are currently a little unpleasant, to say the least🧍🏾‍♀️

My marks for my English assignment were disappointing and my throat is sore and dry rn. And that of course started after I've been to the store💀

(Some personal stuff in the tags that might be/probably is tmi so you can just skip em if you'd prefer to)

[tootyfrootycasbooty]

alone at the pub reading I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki and wondering if it’s acceptable to cry in public

[lana-del-rhaena]

if viserys knew about the three heads of the dragon he would go insaneeee what do you mean you kidnapped a girl and started a war because i’m not good enough to fulfill your prophecy. i could have been your visenya.

[eyes1nthewoods]

i mgiht be spiraling a bit ngl

[zooblesbutchpuppygirl]

I might be taking a slight break from here. My Paranoia this week has been Really bad and today things are a lot worse. I'll be more active on twitter and bsky (both linked in my pinned post) for the time being

[cabbagewhites]

tired.

[djevelbl]

just spent 10 mins thinking of IM!Cup's fucked up mental state, and now I wonder where tf is the therapist when u need him,,,,,,,,,,,

[transgenderdoctorwhomst]

re the tag nightmare on my last post: its not even like the trade im trying to get into is like, my lifelong dream or anything, it's just one i've kind of thought would be neat to do for a while, and i'm kind of decent at it without any training, i literally applied on a whim and decided to go through with it.

its just like. wow, what appears to be an attainable simple goal of Go To School And Get A Qualified Skill To Try To Be In Slightly less Poverty! surely i can at least complete step one of getting a student loan to actually start that goal! i've only been stuck in unqualified and barely employable hell for years, and it's exciting to feel like i can actually do something! oh, sorry, nope, literally everything is in your way.

you didn't go to school right out of high school, which you barely graduated with the literal bare minimum credits and grades required? get fucked, no scholarships. trades programs are always trying to get people and will cover your training and schooling costs! unless you're an adult and the only trade school nearby is legally a high school (because grade 12 students can do their last year there, and get all their training costs covered), and for some reason your course doesn't qualify for apprenticeship grants. also you can't drive for reasons out of your control and the closest bus stop is a twenty minute walk away. also the closest normal post-secondary school is in a different town.

like. what the fuck am i supposed to do. this was like, plan C, because plans "be normal employable in a normal retail workforce" and "freelance artist" both failed for the same reasons i barely managed high school

[delatoid]

Hey uhh. I rlly love the obunga drawin you made and are you dead :p?

That is old as HELLdoublehockeysticks!!! get out of there look at newer stuff that is debatably better!!!!

[just-1other-nerd]

While writing another meta, I looked up some clips and noticed something else that deserves a post: notice how Crowley says "but that's nothing" about 6000 years? And you might think, yeah, he's a celestial being and kinda immortal, so im the grand scheme of his life this will feel like nothing, and this is proven by him taking century long naps. But I came to the conclusion that those 6000 years aren't nothing, especially not to Crowley, instead they're everything.

I think that the passing of time in Heaven and Hell works the same way that it does on earth. Like, you know those stories where it's like character has entered this world their time there has felt like 5 years to them but in their world 500 years went by. And it would make sense for Heaven and Hell to function like this, like every time they're down on earth, their brains work faster to comprehend the earth in a human way and actually be able to interact with humans. (Whacky comparison, but like for us to communicate with a fly, we would have to get faster than we are now, otherwise it would seem to the fly like we're doing things in slow motion.) And it would have been easy to make that the rules, be faster while you're on earth to operate on a level earthly creatures can comprehend and understand but back when you're in Heaven/Hell your brain is back in celestial mode where you everything the humans do seems to happen in time laps so that they seem like ants. That would result in something like what feels like a second in Heaven/Hell is a year on earth.

But no, things in Heaven/Hell seem to happen in real time. The duration of Crowley infiltrating Heaven felt the same as the duration of the bookshop battle, and there are many more examples of this. But that means that celestial brains don't process time in a "6000 years really feel like nothing, like they pass in the blink of an eye" way but rather in a "in the grand scheme of my immortal life 6000 years will eventually lose meaning because looking back they will just seem like another short-lived episode of my life even though they didn't feel like that while I was experiencing them" way, you know like a human turned immortal.

This is important because that means that Crowley and Aziraphale experienced the passing of time in those 6000 years in a very human way, always kept in mind that they'll outlive everything around them but years that aren't slept through will still feel like years.

To have that much time means that you plan your life differently, like the next time the ineffable husbands will meet may be in two decades and looking back on a span of 6000 years that may not seem long but it will feel long, I mean in his diary entry after Edinburgh Aziraphale describes the 35 years he wouldn't see Crowley after that as a long time. But to have so much time also means that you have a lot of time questioning things, and it means that things will lose their meaning because oftentimes our own fatality gives things meaning, but if you've got forever maybe nothing will feel like it's got any purpose. And I think that this is where Crowley is mentally in the beginning of season two (see bench scene with Shax), because now that Armageddon, which was a form of fatality for Crowley and Aziraphale's way of life, has been prevented and he's out of constant survival mode because he no longer has to go along with Hell, he has to find meaning detatched from Heaven and Hell. And I believe he will ultimately realise that he already found it in humanity and in Aziraphale.

There are lots of brilliant metas discussing how Aziraphale and Crowley are more human than celestial and how their love is very human and how they love earth and humanity. And I think that living amongst humans who live so much shorter than they do and who experience so much more with so much more emotion really has given them a perspective that the other celestial beings lack. And loving earth and each other has also given them a perspective that other angels and demons don't have. Despite experiencing time the same way as Aziraphale and Crowley do, the other celestial beings don't have any attachment to those 6000 years because they are stuck in their respective corporate environments which don't spread any joy and it shows. They are stuck in their "great plan thinking" where they work towards the war between Heaven and Hell and know that they have to endure those 6000 years for the eternity that comes after. Looking back, all of those days will feel the same and blend in with one another (like all of our lockdown days) because nothing good nor bad happened. And that lack of experience is what will make it feel short looking back on it. Maybe if they hadn't spent those 6000 years like that, they wouldn't want to get rid of everything that has to do with those years. Meanwhile, Crowley and Aziraphale, who have experienced so much, will look back and see thousands of things that have happened, that they've witnessed and that they enjoyed, that's what makes it feel long.

Those 6000 years, despite being a short span for an immortal being, are everything because they are time spent with the humans they loves so much, and the person they adore, this love has given those years meaning, and meaning is something that the time in Heaven and Hell never had.