#Swing heil

[anamericangirl]

Anyways I just saw this video of Adolf Hitler putting his hand over his heart then swinging his arm out to the side, lifted in their air as a Seig Heil. It matched the Elon fucker perfectly.

It actually didn’t match Elon perfectly. I’ve seen it too and none of you guys using that video to try and prove he did a Nazi salute are acknowledging the fact that Hitler’s hand did not begin with his palm flat on his chest. Just admit you don’t know what you’re talking about.

[tellurian-in-aristasia]

Aristasia (and their earlier incarnations) in the news, a timeline.

I've been accumulating a rather large collection of digital newspaper clippings about Aristasia and their various early incarnations and a little project I've been working on is organizing them into a timeline. This is still a work in progress, so as I add more newspaper clippings to the list, I'll be updating this post. The Aristasians, particularly their earlier incarnations, have a rather large analog footprint, and some things I've left off the list, particularly the majority of their many advertisements or anything they would have published themselves, and instead tried to stick to mentions of them in more mainstream publications. Please excuse my inconsistent formatting! Sister Angelina with Lux Madriana Gnostica October/November 1977

Heil Lux Madriana Peace News March 21st 1980

Machpelah cult goes back to the Celts Hebden Bridge Times Friday 06 November 1981

Older Than Christ Hebden Bridge Times Friday 13 November 1981

Rhennish community missionary activity Hebden Bridge Times - Friday 20 November 1981

The Rhennes Invite You To A Public Meeting Hebden Bridge Times - Friday 27 November 1981

World's last hope Hebden Bridge Times - Friday 04 December 1981

'Most ancient religion' claim Hebden Bridge Times - Friday 11 December 1981

TV Series Examines God as the Mother Todmorden & District News - Friday 12 March 1982

The Rhennes Farewell to Hebden Bridge Todmorden & District News - Friday 17 September 1982

A mention at last Derry Journal - Friday 17 December 1982

The Light of the Mother Womanspirit 1983

Women's rule sect settle in Donegal Derry Journal - Tuesday 13 September 1983

Women get gym slip holidays Aberdeen Evening Express - Friday 20 January 1984

Classroom capers for adults Liverpool Daily Post - Friday 20 January 1984

Gymslip gals relive the past Evening Telegraph - Friday Jan 20 1984

The belles of Saint O'Trinians The Daily Telegraph Mon Apr 2 1984

Hidden lessons at St Bride's… Evening Standard April 02 1984

Shocking hidden lessons at St Bride's school… Liverpool Daily Post - Tuesday 03 April 1984

The secret of St. Bride's Sinclair User December 1985

Playing games with censorship The Guardian 1987 11/26

Ding Dong Belles Your Computer Magazine December 1987

Aspic and old lace The Telegraph March 6 1988

Champions of Victorian values condemn lack of grace Sunday Tribune - Sunday 03 July 1988

Is this your cup of tea? Evening Herald (Dublin) - Monday 04 July 1988

A Romantic Manifesto The Spectator December 1988

A journey back in time… Sunday Life, November 5, 1989

The 1980s: A Retrospect Spearhead Feb 1990

I was a slave in the house of Scarlett Sunday Mirror, Sunday 11 March 1990

Gardai probe 'cane' school Sunday World (Dublin) March 18 1990

Vulgarity of coping with life in the dreary old 1990s Cambridge Daily News - Wednesday 31 October 1990

Victorian caners move out Sunday World (Dublin) 4th Nov 1990

Victorian re-enactments ad

Cambridge Daily News, December 7th 1990

Spanking schoolma'am gets back in full swing Sunday Mirror, Feb 3, 1991

Silver Sisters pupil stripped and birched Irish Independent, February 13 1991

"Cult leader" fined for assault Derry Journal - Friday 15 February 1991

Ma'am lashed bare servant Sunday World - February 17 1991

A caning for Miss Scarlett SUNDAY MIRROR Feb 17 1991

Screamers what to give spanking misstress boot! Sunday World, December 15 1991

Spanking lady linked to Nazi and kinky sex contacts Sunday World (Dublin), 12th Jan 1992

We'll Cane You for £75 offer by spankers Sunday World (Dublin) - Sunday 19 January 1992

Lifting the lid on reaction The Scotsman, 11th Jul 1992

Inside the secret world of the sisters of St. Bride's The Sunday Telegraph, January 3rd 1993

Spankers run kinky calls Sunday World, January 10 1993

Sisters: no sex, no Nazis Sunday Telegraph Jan 10, 1993

Swish society of Oxford's hits and misses Sunday Telegraph Sun Feb 7 1993

Glad to be bad? The Guardian Feb 6, 1995

What does Miss Martindale serve with coffee? Cream and punishment The Observer Feb 26 1995

The tortured past of Miss Marindale The Guardian March 1 1995

Whips? Canes? Silly Monkeys! The Independent 1995 03/03

The Rise of Miss Martindale The Guardian March 8 1995

Noble Response, from Miss Martindale The Guardian March 10 1995

Harrowing book- The Corporal Punishment of Schoolgirls Evening Standard Fri Nov 17 1995

Aristasia, The Feminine Nation The Independent Tue, Feb 3, 1998

A firm hand behind Sweethearts The Guardian March 18th 1998

Of sweethearts and villains The Guardian London - Fri, Mar 20, 1998

Miss Marianne Martindale and Miss Camellia Cadogan at the Goodwood Revival Races Country Life - Thursday 23 September 2004

[hogansheroestournament]

The winners from Round 1b!

One in Every Crowd

The Prisoner's Prisoner

Crittendon's Commandos

Man in a Box

The Safecracker Suite

The Schultz Brigade

Happiness is a Warm Sergeant

Cuisine a la Stalag 13

How to Win Friends and Influence Nazis

Reverend Kommandant Klink

Everybody Loves a Snowman

Hogan Goes Hollywood

That's No Lady, That's My Spy

Killer Klink

I Look Better in Basic Black

Hogan's Hofbrau

Tanks for the Memories

A Klink, a Bomb, and a Short Fuse

The Klink Commandos

Praise the Fuhrer and Pass the Ammunition

The Pizza Parlor

The Most Escape-Proof Prison Camp I've Ever Escaped From

Top Hat, White Tie and Bomb Sights

Is There a Doctor in the House?

Hogan Gives a Birthday Party

The Purchasing Plan

The Swing Shift

Movies Are Your Best Escape

The General Swap

The Flame Grows Higher

The Experts

Carter Turns Traitor

The Battle of Stalag 13

Reservations Are Required

An Evening of Generals

Will the Real Adolf Please Stand Up?

The Gold Rush

Flight of the Valkyrie

Klink vs. the Gonculator

Information Please

Color the Luftwaffe Red

Two Nazis for the Price of One

The Prince from the Telephone Company

The Great Brinksmeyer Robbery

Funny Thing Happened on the Way to London

To the Gestapo with Love

German Bridge is Falling Down

Hogan's Trucking Service...We Deliver the Factory to You

D-Day for Stalag 13

The Tower

The Missing Klink

Art for Hogan's Sake

The Softer They Fall

The Great Impersonation

The Big Picture

Klink's Masterpiece

One Army at a Time

Heil Klink

Operation Briefcase

Hogan Springs

Is General Hammerschlag Burning?

Go Light on the Heavy Water

The Hostage

Hold That Tiger

[mariacallous]

Christmas is in full swing in New York City; lines snake through Midtown as tourists oggle department store windows and the Rockefeller Center tree, and the Union Square Holiday Market is bustling with vendors and shoppers. All the while, hotel prices are up and vacancies down compared to the 2022 holiday season—and there are almost no short-term rentals, like Airbnbs, for people to book.

It’s too soon to say there’s no room at the inn this holiday season—searches on Airbnb for places to stay during Christmas and New Year’s Eve in New York City bring up hundreds of hotel rooms, rooms in apartments, and rentals claiming to be exempt from new rules in the city. But many of the short-term whole apartment rentals that Airbnb was known for are gone.

With short-term rentals all but banned, early data shows hotel rooms are getting pricier and harder to come by. New York City’s new short-term rental regulations, which took effect in September, are among the most restrictive of any large city in the world. Such restrictions haven’t stopped people from visiting the Big Apple—and this holiday season is a major test of the city’s new rules.

The city’s clampdown on Airbnbs and other short-term rentals seems to be part of what’s sending interest in hotels soaring. Searches for hotels in New York City during the last two weeks of December are up 25 percent year over year, according to data from Expedia Group, which is also the parent company of Vrbo, another short-term rental booking platform. Times Square hotels in particular are up 55 percent in searches, and neighborhoods like Chelsea, Central Park South, Union Square, and Herald Square are all also seeing spikes.

Hotel bookings and prices are inching upward, too. In November 2022, 79 percent of hotel rooms were occupied, with an average cost of $307 a night according to CoStar, which tracks commercial real estate intel. But in November 2023, occupancy climbed to 84 percent, and the average nightly cost hit $333. By the first week of December, occupancy jumped to 90.3 percent, up from 89.6 percent in early December 2022. The average nightly cost swelled from $416 to $477 from December 2022 to December 2023.

It’ll only get busier. Some 64.5 million people are predicted to visit in 2024, according to New York City Tourism + Conventions, the city’s official tourism marketing organization. That’s up from a forecasted 61.8 million this year. This year’s tourism numbers didn���t top records set in 2019, but they got closer, showing that people are returning to travel at near pre-pandemic levels.

The disappearance of short-term rentals may disproportionately affect guests that don’t fit in a small New York hotel room, like families with kids. “Those people are either having to pay up for more expensive hotel offerings that are comparable to Airbnb, or are simply not able to visit the city,” says Sean Hennessey, a professor at the New York University Jonathan M. Tisch Center of Hospitality.

That’s what happened to Mia Heil, who is bringing her family of five to New York City from Houston the week between Christmas and New Year’s. She had booked a three-bedroom apartment on Airbnb and didn’t know about the rule change until the host canceled their stay the following day. Because they already had flights, Heil says she scrambled to find a hotel room that could fit the family. The effective end of Airbnb in the city doesn’t mean her family wouldn’t have visited New York, Heil says, but she might have come at a different time when hotel prices were lower.

Hennessey says the registration law may be just part of what’s driving prices up. Some people might be traveling for the first time post-pandemic. The city is also now housing thousands of migrants in hotel rooms—though many remained open to visitors this summer.

Airbnb allowed stays through December 1 to remain booked as part of a grace period, so this month is the first one where people are truly pushed to find other places to stay. “Visitors to New York City have fewer accommodation options due to the rule change, which means less choice and higher prices” says Taylor Marr, housing market economist at Airbnb. “As a result, many tourists could be priced out of visiting the city, especially during peak periods such as the holiday season, resulting in economic loss for local workers and businesses.”

The registration law was meant to crack down on a proliferation of short-term rentals in New York City, many of which had long been banned by a rarely enforced law. Those in favor of the rule say short-term rentals siphon away housing that could go to full-time residents and lead to rising rent costs. At one point in 2022, there were more listings for Airbnbs than there were apartments for long-term lease in New York City.

But opponents argue that it bans not only big-time landlords but also middle-class city residents who are renting out just one unit to make ends meet. Both hosts and booking platforms like Airbnb and Vrbo who violate the rule by listing unregistered properties can face fines. The number of short-term stays, those for fewer than 30 days, fell from some 22,000 this summer to around 3,700 as of November 1, according to Inside Airbnb, a housing advocacy group that tracks the platform. The number of short-term stays has always been dwarfed by hotel rooms, of which New York City has around 128,000, according to Vijay Dandapani, president and CEO of the Hotel Association of New York City. Dandapani says 15,000 of those rooms are housing migrants, and another 7,000 are closed.

As of Monday, the city’s Office of Special Enforcement, which oversees the short-term rental registrations, has received more than 5,000 applications from hosts, granted 971, denied 732, and sent more than 2,000 back to applicants for additional info. Christian Klossner, the office’s executive director, tells WIRED that the office has not issued any fines to those in violation of the registration law yet, as the city is still working with booking platforms on compliance.

To cope with the ban, some hosts are moving away from platforms like Airbnb and instead listing apartments on sites like Craigslist and in Facebook groups, and on alternative rental platforms such as Houfy. Some advertise their stays for Christmas and have weekly rates. One asks people to provide an Airbnb profile with guest reviews when requesting to book.

Ultimately, the short-term rental rule is good business for hotels—even if the jury is out on it being a good thing for New Yorkers. And some of that current occupancy squeeze may lessen in coming years: More than 70 new hotels are expected to open in the city in the next three years, bringing 10,000 additional rooms, according to New York City Tourism + Conventions. The end of Airbnb in New York doesn’t signal the end of tourism, but it’s already looking pretty different.

[smokeybrand]

Elon Musk

I have thoughts. After that bewildering little rally he held in Wisconsin, what the f*ck is going on with this dude, man? It’s staggering to me that so many people hang on this guy’s every word, when he’s a drug addled narcissist with a personality disorder. Seriously, dude has done so much Ketamine, it’s altered his brain chemistry but we’re trusting THAT guy to make the government more efficient? Especially when his idea of efficiency is to glue bumpers on his Cybertrucks instead of bolting them on? Like, the f*cking thing doesn’t even have a proper frame. It’s held together with duct tape and Tesla fanboy tears. Like, he’s an idiot. Objectively, an idiot. He doesn’t know enough about anything, but speaks with suck confidence and quirkiness, dumb people think he’s an expert in whatever subject he binged the night before. If he’s so brilliant, why hasn’t he got a p[robe to Mars? Why are his rockets blowing up every other launch? Why did the Cybertruck have a f*cking accelerator pedal flaw that locked the vehicle in the “Go” position? Why did he close down the National Parks to save, what was it? Eight billion, I think? When they bring in annual revenue of fifty-five billion? All this man does is break stuff and then pretend he has Autism and is befuddled and is still a likable guy. He also throws out Sieg Heils and appears as a keynote speaker at Far-Right German rallies. You know what the Far-Right is in Germany? Nazis. Actual f*cking Nazis.

There’s a lot of spin out there about why Tesla is tanking. Elon would lead you to believe that it’s an orchestrated effort by some Radical Leftist cabal, led by George Soros, funding Trans revolutionaries to firebomb his dealerships or whatever, in retaliation for his DOGE cuts. That’s how far out there this South Afrikkkan is at this point. Musk cannot fathom that people don’t like him because he’s a violent transphobe, an actual Nazi, and a terrible boss who refuses to recognize his employees as people. Unless you’re f*cking him. Then you’re at least a broodmare. The protests in the US are partly because he’s absolutely gutting the government of necessary programs but it’s more because he is an awful, awful, person. Again, Nazi. And that’ what has Europe at attention. They have a vehement hate for that ol’ Nationalsozialistische Party from back in the swinging Twenties! Obviously, our neighbors across the pond might feel some kind of way about the figurehead of Tesla, giving validity to such disgusting views and violent history. I mean, the Nords have that AND the Union thing, too, so, you know, there are a lot of reasons to hate Elon. It’s not some grand conspiracy by the Left or clandestine psy-op to f*ck with dude. It’s because Elon is the type of person to use his school aged some as a meat shield so no one shoots him in the head. That’s why no one but the worst kind of people don’t like you. That’s why Tesla stock fell off a cliff. That’s why your entire legacy is on fire right now. Elon Musk is bigoted, Nazi, asshole and people rightfully hate him for it.

[idaholupino]

Skye’s Unhinged Movie Thoughts: a new series where i just post the random thoughts, no matter how nonsensical, i have while watching movies.

1/??: THE MAISIE COLLECTION (Maisie, Congo Maisie, Gold Rush Maisie, Maisie Was A Lady, Ringside Maisie, Maisie Gets Her Man, Swing Shift Maisie, Maisie Goes to Reno, Up Goes Maisie, Undercover Maisie) [1939-1947]

-adore Ann Sothern, actually obsessed with her - it’s turning into a little hyperfixation hehe

-and to be perfectly gay, she really knew how to be sexy whoops

-it’s truly amazing how much she got to kiss Bob Sterling on the mouth when he isn’t even paired with her romantically [Ringside Maisie]

-“Heil Hitler! And I’m not kidding!” is an objectively insane line in 1943 [Swing Shift Maisie]

-i bet Maisie was so popular (it gets, what, 10 movies) because she is a working class girl who takes no shit, breaks hearts all over the country and allegedly remains sexually pure completely throughout. obviously, too, these movies are full of important sexual commentary/instruction for women

-OH and slight Ann Sothern rabbit hole: it’s kinda crazy that she really veers into horror in her later career, like made several horror movies in the late 60s and 70s and to think of Maisie as compared to what it takes to be a character in a horror film is quite a leap, but mad respect to her for it - Ida Lupino did some of that herself which is honestly kinda crazy too

-also such a bummer that she was at MGM for the Maisie movies bc with how fast she talks, there must have been some incredible bloopers - so mad at MGM for burning bloopers if that is a true fact bc i would genuinely kill for Judy Garland bloopers. or Lana Turner. or Greer Garson. or Katharine Hepburn or Esther (page ends)

-i cannot believe the first 10 min of Up Goes Maisie is just Maisie being sexually harassed all over town like christ this is bleak

-Maisie is actually unbelievably annoying, especially in Maisie Goes to Reno

-Maisie Gets Her Man, the only man in the world more annoying than she is. i love them together tho

-i actually think Red Skelton (young) is kinda cute [Maisie Gets Her Man]

-and Ann Sothern is so cute with him!!! [Maisie Gets Her Man]

-the amount of times we have watched Maisie be sexually harassed on screen is honestly upsetting

-her southern accent is everything i love her [Maisie Gets Her Man]

-i think this is my fave Maisie movie [Maisie Gets Her Man]

-Ann Sothern really is so underrated

[artcalledwind]

Even On

Even on the sidelines, I would choose love over tariff’s…be the Trump (give understanding)

I want control as in Risk

I want illegal aliens deported as thee

Independence Day

We have an agenda

By Flag Day Independence

We we rewrite all

Even on the passed in lined

My old enemies

I don’t know probably

Old and unwary sums

I want control as in Risk

I want illegal aliens deported as thee

Independence Day

We have an agenda

By Flag Day Independence

We we rewrite all

Hold on to aircraft

Both parties

Meeting at one place in time!

Under water

Faucet turned on by thee Gov’t

For(e)

Plane he low-face plant

I want control as in Risk

Weathered or not

Wether rich and or poured

Even near Ash Wednesday!!!!!

Just maybe not the right reign for me

Heil!!!!!

Even on the fence

I see things to face

Pizza toppings added

Around the equator

From pole to pole

I don’t f

I don’t fail

I don’t fuck

I don’t swing belts

South West North East

Nor talk about it afterwards

Convince me self

Even on arranged

I don’t play parts as supposed

Depository depleted

Re-Vag a rejuvenated

Can we jive juveniles tha Men

Even on

Body parts

I want control as in Risk

I want illegal aliens deported as thee

Independence Day

We have an agenda

By Flag Day Independence

We we rewrite all

Abort and America

Even On

Even On

Even On

Evil on evol

Anti

Love / is not math

Go ask A I

Even on

All fair on Earth

[[[[[[ I want control as in Risk

I want illegal aliens deported as thee

Independence Day

We have an agenda

By Flag Day Independence

We we rewrite all I want control as in Risk

I want illegal aliens deported as thee

Independence Day

We have an agenda

By Flag Day Independence

We we rewrite all ]]]]]]

.

.

.

.

{The background}

Even On!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sway throughout artcalledwind

Kurt and MoJo rising

We adding these deaths

I want pictures

Even on

JFK MLK

I want doors and umbilical chords!

EO

EO

EOoooooooooo or off!

I want control as in Risk

I want illegal aliens deported as thee

Independence Day

We have an agenda

By Flag Day Independence

We we rewrite all

EO not an AH-O

EO-1

[colindotpdx]

France Burns: Avignon Shines

For three weeks in July, Avignon becomes the biggest theatre in the world. Over 40 productions in the main festival and over 1800 in the Avignon Off. Not 1800 over three weeks but a choice of 1800 different shows EVERY DAY for three weeks. Classic, experimental, circus, mime, stand-up, burlesque, multiple languages; from hopelessly amateurish to world-class professional companies. World class but definitely not elitist; most shows are less than $20 and not an ounce of snobbery anywhere.

The scale and logistics are head spinning. There are hundreds of venues from those with a dozen seats to those with thousands. Every space becomes a platform - cinema, theatres, churches, parks, bars, garages, and gardens.

Immediately next door, Le Theatre des Halles has three performance spaces woven into the remains of a 13thC church. On the other side La Chapelle du Verbe Incarné is a former convent that just houses dance companies for the festival. At the end of an alley between them is Le Theatre Au Bout Là-Bas (literally the theatre at the end down there) is a small space for 40 people. Each of these places houses six to eight different shows every day from 10am to midnight.

And yet the town continues to operate almost normally. You can still get a seat at a restaurant or any other service in town - just don’t try to drive in and park.

No public advertising is allowed until the day before the festival, so enthusiastic volunteers line up by the huge railing in front of our building waiting for the signal to hang thousands and thousands of posters. Pasting on the ancient stones is definitely not allowed so all the posters are hung with string. The hardware stores are stocked with strong twine and every railing, drainpipe, or tree is garlanded with posters within minutes.

Every day the actors from all the shows are in the street pushing their shows with pocket size flyers and personal pitches. Today at lunch Coralie Mori was talking about her one-woman comedy show carrying a handbag full of flyers and posters. We did not have time to see “Swing Heil” - German kids in 1938 struggling with Hitler Youth versus jazz - or “Vole Eddie Vole” - a stage version of the film Eddie the Eagle - or “Merci Vasectomie” - not sure I want to go there. The selection is endless.

My favourite was Apérotomanie: a bar setup in the garden of the Musée d’Anglodon where two actresses served aperitifs and snacks whilst performing extracts from works discussing the erotic possibilities of the word “aperitif” from the Latin aperire: to open. Thouroughly delightful and the wines were wonderful.

Overall Avignon is crammed with youth, creativity, energy, perspective, and thoughtfulness - the very opposite of our daily news diet from everywhere around the world.

[imnobodysbaby]

Peter + Evey

Swing Kids (1993) | Played by Robert Sean Leonard & Tushka Bergen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know bout' y'all but they have such a great chemistry. Too bad the movie cut most of it out but still, they are one of my fav ships and I feel like I'm the only one who does (hehe) here's to one year of me yearning for this ship 🥂 and to swing dancin' late at night 💃🏻🕺🏻

Swing Heil!

[maisietheweltoncow]

((tw nazis)) AKJSDAK ZIRAAA !!!!!!! swing kids. its so good /g alkdfjalsdf arvid i love arvid so much and rsl is sooooOOo good looking and did so well, im very proud of him for some reason???? thomas. i hate him so much. every time i watch a nazi movie i hate them so much more D:< but the music is really jazzy and i would like to go dancing now (would you like to come?? /hj /lh) and the colours of the film were so good thank you for reading :DD

HIII!!! OMG YES SWING KIDS REVIEW

arvid my beloved <3

ksfjgkkadk I get that feeling about rsl too dw akdjfk

yeah me too bestie but also the end bit I scream at where he says swing heil

I WOULD LOVE TO GO DANCING WITH YOU BESTIE!!

yes it's all very well done :)

[eolewyn1010]

Gedanken um und zu Tatort

Leute, helft mir mal, ich hab hier vlt. jemanden an der Angel...

@curtaincage - lies hier gern mal rein, wenn du bisschen Zeit hast.

Also, wenn du dich für Tatort interessierst, solltest du darauf gefasst sein, dass die Qualität von Stadt zu Stadt, von Team zu Team und von Folge zu Folge stark schwanken kann. Manche Drehbuchschreiber kacken auch völlig auf etablierte Charakterisierung; dann schreiben Leute wie ich in einem Wutanfall Fanfics. Ich werd mal meine bevorzugten Teams anreißen, um ein paar Einblicke in meine Tatort-Erfahrung zu geben? Bin selber ja noch frisch in dem Fandom.

Stuttgart: Thorsten Lannert und Sebastian Bootz

Hach ja, mein verkommenes kleines Sorgenkind in der Pubertät... Ich liebe es und komme nicht davon los, aber man muss schon bisschen wissen, worauf man sich einlässt. Die frühen Fälle sind fast ausnahmslos wunderbar, v. a. in Hinsicht auf Sebastians und Thorstens Chemie vom ersten gemeinsamen Fall an (wo kämen wohl sonst die ganzen Slashfics her?), aber dann haben die Schreiber so um 2014/15 gemeint, Sebastian müsste ne Scheidung mit Trinken und Toxic Masculinity verkraften und sein Temperament zu Aggressionsproblemen auswachsen lassen - so kann man einen liebenswerten, süßen Dork auch ruinieren. Dann haben sie das Vertrauen zwischen ihm und Thorsten durch einen Fall vergiftet, wo sie sich beide einfach scheiße benommen haben, und seitdem sind sie eher kühl zueinander, obwohl die Fälle krimi-mäßig immer noch stark sein können. Ist ein bisschen swing and miss. “Der Welten Lohn” ist z. B. Mist. “Das ist unser Haus” ist ziemlich merkwürdig, macht aber Spaß, wenn man sich drauf einlassen kann, und da klingt zwischen den beiden Herren der Schöpfung auch was von ihrem alten bantering an, was mir Hoffnung macht. Zurzeit sind aber einige der älteren Folgen online(!), da ist auch das unterstützende Team noch vollständig - zwei meiner Lieblinge, Kriminaltechnikerin Nika und Staatsanwältin Emilia Alvarez, die irgendwann später leider ausscheiden. DEFINITIV Empfehlungen für “Scherbenhaufen” (persönliches Highlight: Sebastian rennt vor einem bewaffneten, schießwütigen Verbrecher davon und ruft dabei: “Aber ich bin wirklich Polizist!”) und “Die Unsichtbare”, bisher mein Favorit. Ich persönlich mag auch “Eine Frage des Gewissens” irgendwie; das dokumentiert zwar schon Sebastians Niedergang als Charakter, aber da ist zumindest das Verhältnis zu Thorsten noch heil und der Fall ist ziemlich spannend.

München: Franz Leitmayr und Ivo Batic

Ich LIEBE diese zwei. Bin zwar über das Bootz-Lannert-Team ins Fandom gekommen, aber die Münchner sind in meiner Wertung inzwischen gleichauf. Die arbeiten nun auch schon seit saftigen dreißig Jahren zusammen und sind in jeder Hinsicht wie ein altes Ehepaar - was sie irgendwie schon immer waren. Die Fälle haben’s in sich und arbeiten oft mit echt heftigen Thematiken, aber Franz und Ivo im Dialog sind super witzig. Sie streiten sich, sie lieben sich, sie snarken sich gegenseitig an. (“Was würdest du denn sagen, wenn du morgens so ’n Bild [Leichenfoto] von mir in der Zeitung siehst?” - “Ich würd sagen: Da schau her, der Ivo, jetzt hat er’s doch noch in die Zeitung geschafft.”) Der Handlungsstrang von “Die Wahrheit” / “Der Tod ist unser ganzes Leben” ist unfassbar schmerzhaft, wenn man die Charaktere und ihr Miteinander liebt. Ich hab hier tatsächlich noch keinen wirklich schwachen Fall erlebt und vlt. ein, zwei mittelmäßige; sonst wird hier mit schöner Regelmäßigkeit Qualität abgeliefert. Empfehle WÄRMSTENS “Außer Gefecht”; das ist echt stark, aber auch sonst findet man gerade ein paar hübsche Sachen in der ARD-Mediathek oder auf der Seite vom BR-Sender.

Dresden: Karin Gorniak und Henni Sieland / Leonie "Leo" Winkler

Henni Sieland ist mittlerweile ausgeschieden, was schade ist; ich mochte sie sehr und die Schauspielerin ist klasse, aber dass Leo auch ziemlich gut im Team funktioniert, tröstet. Ich hab vlt. ne persönliche Schwäche, weil ich aus dem Dresdner Raum komme, deswegen kriegen die von mir womöglich Nostalgie-Bonus, aber ich finde, die Mädels sind super. Nervig kann der Chef sein, der sehr... inkonsistent charakterisiert ist? Einmal ist er dieser grenzwertige Beinahe-Nazi, ein andermal dieser halt etwas konservative, aber väterliche Typ? Ich weiß nicht. Die Mädels müssen ihn ertragen und der Zuschauer eben auch. Die Fälle sind spannend geschrieben und die Schauspielerinnen liefern ordentliche Leistungen ab.

Saarbrücken: Leo Hölzer und Adam Schürk

Von dem Team gibt's bisher nur eine Folge (“Das fleißige Lieschen”) und wir müssen bis April auf die nächste warten! Dafür ist das aber ein echter Leckerbissen. Die Nebenfiguren, v. a. die Damenwelt, schwächeln etwas und ich hoffe, dass da noch dran gefeilt wird, aber dafür sind Leo und Adam als Charaktere erste Sahne. Jemand hat sie mir empfohlen mit: Tragische Hintergrundgeschichte, schmachtende Blicke und jede Menge bickering, und das ist nicht zu viel versprochen. Hat natürlich geholfen, dass deren erster Fall auch ziemlich stark geschrieben war. (Und Adam ist Minckwitz aus der ersten Staffel Charité. Das hat mich im ersten Moment stocken lassen; inzwischen pflanzt es mir böse Plotbunnies und Headcanons ein. Passt auch wie Arsch auf Eimer, denn so sehr ich Adam liebe, er ist schon irgendwie ne Bitch.)

Ludwigshafen: Lena Odenthal

Hat lange Zeit mit Mario Kopper zusammengearbeitet und war auch klasse mit dem, hat aber seit ein paar Jahren ne neue Partnerin, Johanna Stern, mit der es immer mal Reibereien gibt, aber gerade deswegen finde ich die Dynamik auch ziemlich spannend, auch wenn sie natürlich nicht dieses “seit Ewigkeiten eingespielte Team” sind. In jedem Fall LIEBE ich Lena Odenthal bzw. Ulrike Folkerts, die sie spielt, von ganzem Herzen. Die Frau ist AWESOME. (Kleine Warnung vor “Tod im All”, die Folge ist nicht unbedingt schlecht, aber echt schräg.) Man muss aber drauf klarkommen, dass sie ein relativ bitterer, einsamer Typ Mensch mit vielen scharfen Kanten ist, nicht unbedingt ne fluffige Person.

Sonst sind Thiel und Boerne (Münster) immer einen Blick wert. Das Team ist klasse und die Folgen fast immer sehr humorvoll, und hier mag ich auch die Unterstützung wieder sehr; Alberich und Nadeschda sind beide großartig!

Viele Leute schwören auf das Berliner Team Till Ritter und Felix Stark. Bei mir persönlich hat’s nicht geklickt, aber es kann auch sein, dass ich grad ne schwache Folge erwischt hab. Sie sind zweifellos eins der shipbarsten Teams, haben also ne 1A Chemie, also nur weil’s für mich nix ist, ist es wohl nicht schlecht.

Zudem habe ich ein paar Empfehlungen für Dortmund bekommen - selbes wie für Berlin. Ich kann Faber nicht ausstehen, und Martina, die ihn wohl ausbalancieren sollte, ist mir in den Auftritten, die ich von ihr gesehen habe, auch nicht sympathisch geworden. Der Rest des Teams wurde schon einmal ausgetauscht, kenne ich also nicht so als Kernelemente, aber auch hier gilt wieder Geschmackssache. Manche schwören drauf, nur ich halt nicht.

Geschmackssache ist eigentlich das Stichwort. Ich hab hier meine Lieblinge aufgezählt, aber andere können die für Grütz halten, und nur weil ich hier Teams nicht erwähnt hab, heißt das nicht, dass sie schlecht sind. In den meisten Fällen hilft: mal reingucken. Wenn mir ein Fall nach so 15-20 Minuten nicht spannend genug ist und die Teamchemie das auch nicht rausreißt, schenke ich mir die Folge...

[yandlercardell]

Doll-dagga buzz-buzz ziggety-zag

Godmod grotesque burlesque drag

All the goose-step girlies with

Their cursive faces and

We know it's all Braille beneath the skirt

I'm bulletproof bizzop and

Swing heil and

I don't really care what gentlemen prefer.

[sparkles-rainbows-severed-heads]

Nazi-Hating, Bisexual King, and German actor, Conrad Veidt (1893-1943) whose performances inspired the creation of Edward Scissorhands, Jafar from Aladdin, and The Joker, was a gem in real life. Be like Connie. Do it for him.

Here’s some information on how great he was:

https://aikainkauna.tumblr.com/post/41163268378/ten-reasons-why-you-should-love-conrad-veidt

“In honour of Conrad Veidt’s 120th birthday, let us present you with a list of reasons why you should love him. Because, let’s face it, he kicked more arse than you ever will. While wearing your great-grandmother’s dress.

1. He was an awesome actor who could hypnotise the screen in both the silents and the sounds. He could do amazing things with his body language, his eyes and his voice and move like an actual cat. Oh, and he was Method before it became popular. To the point where his friends and colleagues would get worried because his entire body language and way of speaking would change. He genuinely believed he was possessed by some greater spirit when he was acting. And it shows. 2. He was an amazing human being—everybody loved working with him because he was incredibly polite and jovial and charming, but he was even more amazing off the screen. Let us tell you why.

3. This guy starred in the first gay rights movie ever and played the first explicitly-referred-to-as-gay character on screen, and the first sympathetic gay character on screen. In a movie that said it was okay to be gay and that some people were just born that way. In 1919. The makers of the film and Connie himself were flooded with death threats from the far right. They would arrange riots in theatres and release gas and rabid rodents into the aisles. But the makers of the film stood their ground. Later, the Nazis tried to burn all copies of the film but over half of it still survives and a reconstruction can be seen here.

 4. Oh yeah, and this guy also starred in an early pro-choice film, had a high opinion on women (with some progressive views for his time, when the right to vote and to wear trousers were still seen as new and scandalous things) and was a fierce campaigner for human rights and a vehement anti-Nazi for his entire life. Speaking of which… 

 5. In the Thirties, he starred in two British movies sympathetic to the plight of the Jews. While still a German citizen. Hitler sent him personal hate mail, Goebbels tried to persuade him into doing propaganda films for the Nazis instead and he told them to go stuff themselves. This was after some of his Jewish and gay friends had already been killed by the Nazis, too, so he knew exactly the sort of danger he was in. Oh, and they imprisoned him and tortured him with sleep deprivation and put him on the Gestapo hitlist. Guess what? He didn’t budge. He never raised his hand in the Heil Hitler salute, once. And when, finally, the British authorities helped him escape to England, he never went back to Germany again. Also? Despite being Protestant, he identified himself as Jewish on official forms as a form of protest. In. Nazi. Germany. I’m sorry, but Conrad Veidt’s balls»»»>yours. 

 6. He spent a huge amount of money supporting the British war effort and personally smuggled people out of the hands of the Nazis. Including driving his third wife’s Jewish parents out to Switzerland in his car under the cover of night after much bribery and passport shenanigans. In the Forties, he participated in a fund helping fellow Europeans escape Nazis and settle in the UK and the US. One of the people he helped was his Casablanca co-star, Paul Henreid. By the time Henreid had reached the UK, the war was in full swing and he was treated as an enemy alien. Connie (who had managed to acquire British citizenship just before war broke out) personally rang the British authorities and vouched for him until Henreid could finally cross the Atlantic to safety (with some monetary assistance from Connie himself). So, kids, when you watch Major Strasser menacing Laszlo in Casablanca, remember this guy actually helped him escape the Nazis in real life. 

 7. While living in London in the late Thirties, he and his wife would regularly shelter war children at their house. When the air raid sirens came on, he’d rather run back home to be with the kids rather than stay safe at the studio’s bomb shelter. No, really. And even when he’d left for Hollywood in the 40s, he would do stuff like this for the poor kids of London huddled in bomb shelters. You might need tissues. 

 8. He was made of actual sex on and off the screen. He possessed an amazing, androgynous sexual aura that would take no prisoners. He could be feminine without being effeminate, seductive and possessing and powerful without being gruff or macho, incredibly catlike and soft without being weak. Despite being skinny as hell and 6’3” tall, he was as graceful as a dancer, gliding around so smoothly it was uncanny, slightly unnatural (when Disney were making Aladdin, they deliberately based the cartoon Jafar on his performance in The Thief of Bagdad and told the animators to make him glide like Connie did. Yeah, that’s right, Disney villains were based on him. No wonder. No, really, look at that). From the Thirties onwards, he was repeatedly described as pantherlike. He had a sensuous, cruel mouth (always a little more red and open and wet than it should have been in order to be decent), large, pale blue piercing eyes (oh yeah, he was well-read in hypnotism and occultism, so he is actually hypnotising and possessing you for real), finely manicured fingernails (sometimes filed into sharp points) and a voice to melt knickers off anyone within a five-mile radius. When he smoked, it looked like he was giving oral sex to a woman and a man at the same time. Watch A Woman’s Face, The Thief of Bagdad and Dark Journey for good examples of this amazing man’s slinking, slithering, purring charm. 

 9. Oh yeah, speaking of the off-screen sex… Merle Oberon said “he would have sex with a butterfly”, Anita Loos quipped “the prettiest girl on the [Berlin] street was Conrad Veidt” and he was a major gay icon in 1920s Germany thanks to the aforementioned gay rights movie and his androgynous looks and style. Let us remember this guy spent his youth in Weimar Berlin and its cabarets, a modern Babylon where “anything goes” was an understatement. Drugs, wild parties and sexual diversions of every sort imaginable were the done thing in those days. You were considered unfashionable if you didn’t dress in drag and experiment with bisexuality. In that, he was hardly different from his peers (like, for example, his good friend Marlene Dietrich). But then again… there were people who experimented and there were people for whom it was all a phase, but according to numerous sources, he was a natural, voracious bisexual and so in love with everything feminine he genuinely loved to dress as a lady. And apparently he would fall in love all the time, so the Twenties were… busy years for him, especially when his second marriage had started to fall apart. Just don’t ask what he did to Olivier. And according to a couple of sources, Gary Cooper. Oh, and his first wife left him after she found him wearing her dress (her loss). Most of the time, his friends would describe him as a ladies’ man during the day, and going after the men as well after he’d had a few drinks in the evening. He seems to have calmed down a lot in the Thirties after he found genuine happiness with his third wife and escaped the Nazis to the UK, but apparently he was still an incorrigible flirt with both sexes until the end of his life. If you think he looks seductive and deliciously perverse on screen, that’s all real and then some. So, yep, this was a guy who was a genuine saint and an amazing human being and a naughty, naughty man at the same time. How often do you hear of both sides coexisting in the same person? 

 10. He was, basically, the last lingering sigh of Romanticism as a genuine cultural movement. On screen, he played the Gothic, Byronic hero to the hilt (The Student of Prague being one of the greatest examples of the type). In the silents, he played degenerate dandies, tortured painters and pianists and violinists, cruel yet seductive tyrants, men haunted by their doppelgängers, possessed creatures wanting to crawl out of their own bodies, sleepwalking and twitching and writhing on the screen, turning everything into a dark, exquisite ballet. In the sound films, he turned that demonic energy outwards and would pin people down with his gaze as he cursed them, would undress women with a flick of his pitch-black lashes, would curl his long fingers around their arms in a sadomasochistic, erotic stranglehold. He never completely lost his accent, but he compensated for it with pitch-perfect softness and tone, speaking very slowly and quietly when everybody else would speak loud and fast. His voice in The Thief of Bagdad was compared to poisoned honey. The MGM bosses were surprised at the mountains of fanmail he received from women in the Forties, even if they had never given him a starring role, only supporting, villainous ones. And the ladies wanted this villain, oh yes. A woman moviegoer (presumably after seeing his performance in A Woman’s Face) described him thus: “Conrad Veidt has wicked eyes, a sinister mouth, strange hands and a half-man/half- woman quality about him. His walk is frightening. There is something not quite normal about him. And yet, he was totally fascinating, charming and appealing to me at the same time!”

So, there you have it. There are many more reasons to love him, but it would take forever to try and list all of them. I suggest you watch his movies and read up on him yourself, because he deserves to live forever.”

[slutforgoodliterature]

Steve Rogers x Reader - Flustered

Steve doesn’t think you’ve noticed the lingering stares or the odd pants-readjustment whenever you guys trained together, but you have. And you’ve made it your mission to get Steve to act on it. 

Warnings: (eventual) smut, teasing, clueless steve, angst, virgin!Steve, first time

Hold onto your hats coz this is a long one! (but all the juicier...)

He thinks he’s being subtle, bless him, but you couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes would linger on you as you walked away, or how he would straighten up when you entered the room.

You especially noticed when he had to, ahem...self-adjust... after a one-on-one training session. You always had great banter, and sure, you had a major crush on the guy, but who didn’t? 

It didn’t help that Natasha was certain he was into you too, but you never let yourself think that, lest you get hurt in the process. 

But then one training session, everything changed. 

You and Steve were sparring in the gym, your second favourite thing to do with him, directly after teasing. Sometimes you got lucky and could combine them both.  Those were always the best nights, so that’s what you were doing.

“Come on, pretty boy. Show me what you got.” You smirked at Steve and beckoned for him to come at you with two fingers. He rolled his eyes at the nickname, but there was no malice behind it. You’d been calling him that since the first time you met him: when he pulled you out from beneath the rubble of a Hydra base in eastern France. 

He shook out his shoulders and attacked, but you had him pinned instantly, his cheek pressed against the mat and his arms held by you behind his back. You huffed in annoyance.

“You never go hard with me. You’re not going to break me, you know.” He let out a strained laugh. 

“My momma told me never to hit a girl.” He retorted, and you pushed down hard on his back in response, constricting his air flow.

“But what if it’s in self-defence? What would your momma say to that?” You countered, frustrated at the Captain’s composure that never seemed to slip. 

“There’s no disagreement that cannot be settled with stern words.” He joked, knowing damn well that good uses of a well-aimed punch, but he still refused to give in to you. 

Smirking, you leaned over his broad back until your lips brushed against his ear. “Well, what if I’m the bad guy, and I really want to hurt you?” You asked, feeling his muscles tense beneath you. “Heil Hydra.” You hoped it would tip him over the edge, but you weren’t prepared for him to suddenly flip the two of you until you were the one pinned under him.

He gripped your hands above your head with one hand, his other was gripping your jaw mercilessly. His hips pinned your own to the mat, and you could tell you weren’t the only one extremely turned on. 

His wide eyes showed that he was also shocked at himself for losing his cool, but you were too ecstatic to care. 

“That’s what I’m talking about! There’s the soldier I’ve heard so much about.” You grinned, and his hands on your wrists and jaw loosened. 

“I...I’ve got to go.” He mumbled, pushing himself off you with great speed. “I’m sorry.”

“For what, exactly?” You questioned, sitting up on your elbows to fix him with a harsh glare. “Sorry that you are bailing out on our training, or sorry that you can’t even treat me with the same respect you treat everyone else?” 

His mouth opened and closed as he tried to find an answer. “I do respect you, that’s the problem! I respect you too much to...” He trailed off, running a hand through his hair. 

“What? Take me seriously?” You pushed, getting to your feet and stalking towards him. “You respect me too much to even treat me like an equal? Is it because I’m a girl? Is that what this is about?” 

“What? No, Y/N-”

“Because you seem to have no issue sparring with Natasha... or even Wanda! So what is it, Steve?” You were so riled up at this point, you didn’t notice him becoming more and more frustrated and angry with each word that left your mouth. “What is your problem, big guy? What is your problem with me?” 

You attempted to poke him angrily in the chest, but he grabbed your hand and tugged you closer, sending you crashing into his chest. His other arm snaked around your waist, holding you against him roughly. 

“Stop putting words in my mouth.” He grunted, staring you down, but you didn’t relent. 

“Make me.” You shot back, and with a growl, he grabbed the back of your neck and pulled your lips to his.

You barely had time to process what was happening before you could feel him pulling away. Unable to handle that, your arms unfroze and you wrapped your arms around his neck, rising onto your toes and pulling him flush against you. 

As quickly as it began, he ended it by pushing you away, leaving you breathless as you stared after his retreating figure.

What the fuck just happened?

That was two days ago.  

For two whole days, Steve had been avoiding you at all costs. He even went as far as ‘accidentally’ not inviting you to the team meeting this morning.

That was the last straw. You decided you were going to make him notice you. 

“Stark’s hosting a thing tonight,” Natasha told you as the two of you took swings at one another. You tried not to think about the last time you were on this mat, with a certain someone...

“A thing?” You sounded unimpressed. Tony’s parties always ended up with someone drunk crying, usually Thor, and someone else dancing on the bar, also usually Thor. 

“Yes, a thing.” Natasha reiterated, “And you’re definitely coming.” Her tone left no room for argument, but you thought you’d try anyway. 

“You know what, I’ve got a book calling my name, and I would hate to keep them waiting-”

“Mr Darcy can wait, Y/N. There’s another man who is in need of straightening-up tonight.” Her remark caught you off guard and her fist ghosted your jaw. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You deadpanned, to which Natasha sighed. 

“Look, all I know is that Steve walked out of your last training together with a massive tent in his pants-” Your jaw dropped and your eyes widened, “and that when I went past his room later that night, I could hear him...” 

“LA LA LA LA...” You blocked your ears, too embarrassed and shocked to hear the rest of her story.

“...your name...” 

“Ok! Enough!” You kicked out your leg, sweeping her feet out from under her and sending her tumbling to the ground.

“Jeez, ok! I’m done.” She assured you. “But you should still definitely come tonight.”

You pretended to struggle considering it, but the truth was: your mind had been whirring with a plan since she first mentioned it. 

It’s show time.

“Y/N! I’m soooo happy you decided to come!” Tony slurred at you as you walked in, and you could tell by his rosy cheeks and glazed eyes that he had been on the drink for a while now. 

“Yes, my sweet lady! You have graced us with your presence!” Thor swept out his hand in a grand gesture, sloshing his super-powered Asgardian drink onto Bruce, who did not look happy with that at all. 

You saw Steve staring at you from the corner of your eye, but you ignored him and instead sauntered over to sit next to Thor. 

“Looking good tonight, Y/N,” Sam remarked, taking in your cropped shirt and tight jeans appreciatingly. You sent him a playful smile, but not before you heard Steve let out an angry humph. 

“Just tonight? You insult her!” Thor slurred, settling an arm across the top of the couch. You rolled your eyes at him, knowing it was definitely the alcohol talking. 

You tried to source out Natasha but quickly realised she had let with Bruce to help him change after being doused in god-knows-what from Thor’s flask. 

Hopefully, she would help him change out of his clothes, and then...

Your thoughts were cut off by Steve’s harsh gaze as you made eye contact with him from across the circle of couches and bean bags. However, you pretended you didn’t notice him.

“Let’s play a game,” Tony announced abruptly. 

“God, how old are you?” Steve muttered.

“Younger than you, grandpa.” Tony retorted, making everyone laugh. 

“And some people actually like having fun.” You added, daring Steve to respond. “Do you know what that means, Captain?” You taunted, to which he replied:

“Yes. I do.” Stiffly, he shifted in his chair to face the centre of the circle. “Let’s play.”

“Y/N, truth or dare or drink?” Sam slurred, having gleefully chosen ‘drink’ for his last four turns. 

“Dare.” You giggled, feeling only the slightest buzz from the alcohol, but the overall atmosphere of the group was making you feel insanely light. 

“I dare you...to give Steve a lap dance!” He declared, obviously thinking it was the smartest idea in the world.

“I second this,” Bucky chimed in, clapping a flustered Steve on the back. “Poor kid has never been blessed with a-”

“That’s okay!” Steve interrupted, “Y/N doesn’t have to do that.” 

“Party pooper!” Tony roared.

“Come on, Steve, it’ll be fun-”

“I said that’s enough.” Steve shut down the protests with a glare, still nursing his glass of water. Sam, Bucky and Tony shut up, looking dejected. 

“Alright then, Y/N, give one to Thor,” Sam added, to which Thor’s eyes lit up. 

“Fine,” You stood up and turned towards Thor, “Guess this is just for you, my lord.” You joked as you began to straddle Thor, who looked like he had just seen the gates of heaven. “We all know Steve is afraid of fun.” 

“Wait!” Steve’s voice rang out, halting you in your movements. You turned your head to see that Steve was looking at you with a pained expression. “I’ll do it.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “Well, don’t sound so excited about it.” You grumbled. “You’re really not making me feel wanted, you know.” 

“Yeah Steve, you missed your chance. She’s mine now-” Thor placed a large hand on your waist, but Steve’s loud voice stopped you once again. 

“The dare was to give me a lap dance, was it not?” He argued, avoiding your eyes and stumbling over the words ‘lap’ and ‘dance’. 

“He’s got a point, ya know?” Bucky pointed out, making you steel yourself and saunter over to Steve. Thor let out a sad sigh behind you, but all your focus was on the man in front of you.

And he wouldn’t even look at you. 

“Eyes up, soldier.” You commanded, gripping his chin and forcing him to meet your eyes. You were shocked to see them so lust-blown and found yourself drowning in their ocean-blue.

“Are you two just gonna stare at each other or what?” Tony interrupted, jolting you out of your reverie. 

“It’s too awkward. I can’t do it.” You said, suddenly feeling like the walls were closing in on you. 

“You were ready to jump Thor a minute ago-” Sam chimed in.

“I said I can’t! Not here.” You stepped back from Steve and wrapped your arms around yourself. 

“So go to Steve’s room. It’s just down the hall.” Natasha suggested, appearing out of the blue.

“When the hell did you even get here?” You cried, fixing her with a stink eye. She replied with a sly wink. 

“I don’t mind,” Steve muttered so quietly that only you seemed to hear.

“See! Steve doesn’t mind! Off you trot.” Make that you and Sam heard.  

Steve sought out your eye to see if you were ok with it and after you nodded, he stood up and the two of you made your way to his room. 

“Don’t do anything I wouldn't do!” Natasha called out after you guys.

“Sweetheart, that’s not much.” Bruce’s words were the last thing you heard before Steve closed the door behind you.

“I’m not-” 

“Just sit there.” You pointed to the loveseat in the corner of his room. Obediently, he sat, his arms pinned to his sides and his back rigid. 

“You know, I didn’t get you in here for you to actually give me a lap dance.” He stated as you lowered yourself onto his lap, running a hand along his chest.  

“What can I say, I’m a woman of my word.” You muttered, avoiding his eyes. It was so much more intimate just the two of you, and whilst you were usually happy to tease him, after the last incident, everything felt so much more real.

“Y/N, listen to me.” He gripped your hips tightly, stopping them from their slow sway. 

“No, Steve, you listen to me.” This time, you were the one who gripped his jaw and held him in place. “I understand you’ve got some misplaced chivalry thing that means you can’t hit a girl, or whatever, but I’m sick of it. You have to trust that I can handle myself and that you won’t break me. Comprenné?” 

“It’s not so much as a ‘not hitting girls’ thing as it is a ‘not hitting you’ thing.” He admitted, looking deeply into your eyes. You faltered, you grip slackening, but he didn’t move. “If I hurt you, even accidentally, I...” he shut his eyes solemnly and shook his head.

“As romantic as that is, pretty boy,” you leant your forehead against his, causing him to look back into your eyes. “You’re just going to have to deal with it. There’s no way you’re getting rid of me. Not now.” His eyes widened. 

“But-”

“No buts.” You cut him off, running a hand through his hair softly. “You either have me completely as I am or not at all.” You could hear his intake of breath, but he answered without hesitation. 

“You. All of you.”

With that, your lips crashed down to meet his, which he returned with equal force. Your hand began gripping his hair, causing him to groan and pull your hips towards him. 

As you straddled him on the seat, you could feel him becoming more and more aroused, and you ground down into him. A moan tumbled from his lips. 

“I want all of you, too.” You told him between kisses. You reached for the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head, leaving you marvelling his chiselled features. Yours followed soon after and he stared at you in awe.

“You’re gorgeous, Y/N.” He praised and began trailing kisses along your collar bone to the tops of your breasts. You gripped his hair in both hands, unable to contain the little noises his mouth pulled from you. 

After struggling with your bra for several moments, he eventually gave up and pulled back from your neck. “Get. It. Off.” He panted, and you happily obliged. Once you were bare before him, he dove back into your neck, kissing softly all the way down to your breasts.

For someone so damn old and inexperienced, he sure knew how to make a girl feel good. 

“Jesus!” You swore as he circled your nipple with his tongue and used his fingers to knead the other. “Where did you learn all this?”

“Technology is a beautiful thing if used correctly.” His voice was muffled, but you couldn't help but laugh. 

“You call watching porn using technology ‘correctly’?” You mocked, but your laughter quickly turned into moans as his hands travelled around your waist and down to your ass, where you gripped you tightly through your jeans. 

“Well, there’s not exactly an encyclopaedia of ‘tips in the bedroom’ lying about.” He huffed so you grabbed his head and brought it back up to you. 

“You could’ve asked me.” You pointed out. “This,” you gestured to your grinding bodies, “Could’ve happened ages ago.” 

“I know.” He sighed, trailing a finger up and down your spine, sending shivers down your back. “But I’m an idiot.” 

“At least you admit it.” You smirk before placing your lips back on his. One by one, the rest of your clothing articles disappear until all that’s left separating the two of you is the thin fabric of his boxer briefs. 

You palmed him through the fabric, causing his hips to stutter into your hand. You loved seeing the effect you had on him: his flushed cheeks, his wide eyes, his swollen lips and the little noises that escaped from his perfect mouth as you continued to grind into him. 

He had one hand fisted in your hair, and the other one around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. 

“I want these off.” You tugged impatiently at his underwear. He responded by picking you up from under your thighs and carrying you to the bed and placing you on it gently. After he removed his boxers, he crawled back on top of you, covering your body with his.

“I always wanted to know if that super serum worked on all aspects of your body,” You said, a little breathlessly, “I guess now I know.” 

He chuckled at you, pushing your hair back from your face so he could place kisses across your temples, down your cheeks and following your jaw. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” He groaned.

“Actually, yes.” You admitted, and his head shot up, eyes wide. ��You’re not very subtle, pretty boy.” 

He dropped his head onto your chest, completely embarrassed. “And here I was thinking I had mastered the art of subtlety.” 

“You’ve got a long way to go, mon chéri,” You stroked the back of his neck tenderly, “You are lucky I find you so damn cute.” 

With a renewed vigour, Steve returned to your lips and kissed you passionately, pushing you into the mattress. You slipped a hand between you and gripped his member, eliciting an obscene moan from Steve. 

“I...I haven’t done this...before.” He murmured, avoiding your eyes, but you cupped his cheek with your other hand and guided his eyes back to yours.

“I want you as you are, no different, remember?” You reassured him, and he kissed you gratefully. With you guiding him, he was able to slowly slip into you.

His size was like no other you had experienced, so in a way, it felt like your first time all over again. He placed his arms on either side of your head and dropped to his elbows, covering your mouth with his. You wrapped your legs around his waist, inviting him in even further.

“Just... don't move for a second.” He groaned after you started writhing beneath him, feeling so incredibly full. You stilled and waited for him to begin thrusting. 

“Mm...just like that.” You moaned as he drew back and slowly thrust back in, completely stretching you out. “Fuck, Steve.”

“Language.” He muttered, his brows furrowed and sweat gathering in his hairline. You couldn’t help but laugh, which he didn’t appreciate. A particularly hard thrust shut you right up, and after hearing your load moan, he picked up the pace and beginning moving a bit harder and faster.

“You feel...god!...incredible, Y/N.” He stuttered out, his eyes trained on you to gauge your reactions. 

“It’s all you, baby.” Your back arched as he reached a place in you that you didn’t even know existed. “Holy...fuck!” 

“I’m close, sweetheart.” He warned you and feeling the need to finish with him, you snaked a hand between you and began rubbing fast circles on your clit. He saw what you were doing and nudged your hand away. You were about to protest when he replaced it with his own hand, sending stars behind your vision.

Curses kept falling from your mouth as you both climbed to your peaks.

“Shit, I can’t-” Steve swore and if you weren’t in the middle of mind-blowing sex you would have pointed it out, but as it were, it went unnoticed. 

“Let go, baby.” You groaned and he didn’t waste any time, spilling into you with an animalistic groan, the feeling of him finishing inside you and his talented fingers pushed you over the edge immediately after. 

Your legs trembled around him as he continued to work you through your orgasm until you had to grab his hand to make the torturous sensations stop, lest you black out. He slipped out of you, making you feel suddenly empty, and placed a sloppy kiss of the corner of your mouth.

“Wow.” He breathed out after collapsing next to you, tucking your head under his chin. 

“Wow.” You agreed, stretching out across his chest and intertwining your legs with his. 

“I’m sorry it took me this long to make a move.” He sighed, running his hand through your hair. “If you can call being forced to receive a lap dance by my best friends ‘making a move.” He added with a chuckle.

“I should definitely send them some flowers.” You hummed in agreement. “Or a card.”  

“I don’t think that’s necessary.” Steve huffed, pulling you closer. You laughed and then smiled in contentment as you listened to the beating of his heart under your head. 

“Does this mean you’ll actually train with me now?” You asked, stifling a yawn.

He thought for a bit, then answered: “Yes, I will.” He placed a chaste kiss to your hair, “But no promises it doesn't end with this.” 

“I think I could work with that.” You sent him an adoring smile before the two of you drifted off in a peaceful sleep. 

[hazza-bear-care]

You Know Me (2/?)

Pairings: Bucky Barnes X Fem! Reader

Description: Bucky knows you’re missing. You haven’t answered his phone calls in a few weeks and he’s beginning to get worried. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, Bucky breaks into your apartment for some idea on how to track you down.

~~~~~~~

“Hey, Buck. What’s up?” Steve asked as he entered the compound gym, taking note of the brooding soldier standing in front of a punching bag. 

“I haven’t heard from Y/N in three weeks, Steve,” Bucky muttered, swinging another powerful left hook at the sawdust filled bag. 

“Three weeks?! Are you sure about that Bucky? That girl is crazy about you! How can she ignore you for three weeks?”

“I don’t know, Steve! I don’t know what I did, because she won’t answer me!” Bucky’s anger reverberated through him as he literally punched the bag off the chain, the equipment spilling sawdust all over the floor. 

“Bucky, if you’re really that worried about Y/N, go to her. Start at her apartment, then go to all of her favorite places. If you still can’t find her, then come back here and we’ll track her down, alright?” Bucky nodded and grabbed his gym bag, quickly rushing to change. He stole the keys to Steve’s bike and rode out of the garage, speeding off in the direction of your apartment. 

~~~~~~~

“Y/N?” Bucky questioned as he knocked on your door softly. He waited for a good five minutes before knocking harder, his knuckles sore from hitting the cheap wood. Wrapping his fingers in his hair, Bucky groaned in frustration. The super soldier in him kicked in as he examined the door frame, searching for any signs of a break in or some sort of scuffle. His strength took over as he kicked the door in, frantically searching the apartment for some sort of life. 

“Y/N I swear if you’re in here, you need to answer me now! We’re going to have a talk,” Bucky called, searching your room, bathroom, anywhere and everywhere you could be hiding. He quickly gave up scouring the apartment and made his way into the kitchen for a reason unknown to him. He quickly glanced around, still on high alert for something that tipped him off. The clutter on your counter drove Bucky crazy, so he opted to clean up in case you decided to pop your head in from wherever you had been. As he stacked dirty plates in the sink, he noticed a rather hastily written note amongst the pictures lacing the cabinets.

Soldat,

You have been gone far too long. If you want your precious lover, you know where to go and what needs to be done. 

Heil HYDRA.

“No! Dammit!” Bucky crumpled the note in his fist, punching a hole in the wall closest to him. He quickly pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed the only number he could: Steve’s.

“Bucky? Did you find her?” Steve asked, a hopeful sound in his voice.

“No, Steve, I didn’t. She’s been kidnapped, and I-I couldn’t protect her.” Bucky’s voice cracked as he frantically ran his fingers through his hair. 

“Bucky, this wasn’t your fault-”

“No, Steve! It... it was HYDRA.” Bucky’s heart broke as he uttered the dreaded words, the realization settling in his stomach, twisting it until he felt nauseous. 

“Where is she, Bucky? If you know, tell me now so we can get the team together and figure out a game plan.” Even though he knew Steve couldn’t see him, Bucky shook his head. HYDRA was his problem. Steve wasn’t experimented on for years on end, only to be used as a weapon. Bucky constantly had nightmares that only Y/N could help him recover from. 

“Steve, this doesn’t need to be a team effort. I need you, maybe Romanoff, but no one else. This is my mission, and mine alone, okay?” Bucky wordlessly hung up, taking one last look at your apartment. He shuffled to your room, snatching your pillow off the bed and walking out, locking the door behind him.

~~~~~~~~

A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short, but I wanted to get it out so you guys had something to read. I hope you guys enjoyed! Don’t forget to send in requests and offer suggestions for improvement! Love ya!

[syderion]

Random thoughts about Far From Home now that I had two screenings under my belt, a lot bit of alcohol and time to process everything. Of course, spoilers for both Far From Home and Marvel’s Spider-Man.

So many references to Marvel’s Spider-Man. There’s Peter’s new suit (that could also be inspired by the comics but I’m not that informed about Spider-Man’s comics) with the white spider. The whole, gorgeous, illusions sequences are extremely reminiscent of the sequences in the game where Spider-Man is drugged and while going after Doc Ock has to confront his guilt about the events unraveling. ps4!Peter feels like he failed to save Doc Ock while Peter feels like he failed Tony. The visual effects are very reminiscent to the fights in the Negative Zone too and well, it works so very well. Keeps you on your toes the whole way through (like I’ve rarely heard so much gasping and seen people really clenching their fists and yes, I’m spending half my time watching my fellow audience members’ reactions). The swinging through New York scenes could have been taken straight out of the game. It was exactly the same vibe. Also, extremely gorgeous. In a general manner, the camera work whenever Spider-Man swings around throughout the movie is very dynamic and works so very much to make you feel you’re swinging around too.

It’s no wonder Peter trusted Mysterio almost from the start. From what’s shown, he’s probably the most public and active hero amongst what’s left of them. The thing is, he’s still a 16 years old kid who is still grieving for his paternal figure (being Peter Parker, he probably hasn’t taken a proper break after being back). On top of that, he’s now living in a world that completely changed (like, May says she’s came back in a flat that wasn’t hers anymore and it’s very very possible that the two of them have been homeless at some point before getting a new flat). And he’s living in a world that is looking for a new Avenger-like group. A bit like Miles in Into the Spider-verse, Peter is kinda crushed under the expectations people have of him and under the expectations he has of himself (taking Iron-Man’s place). So when Mysterio arrives, when Peter is at his most vulnerable and so so happy to be able to share his doubts and fears and just be himself, a teenager, with a seemingly trusting adult that has no expectations of him, no wonder he fucking jumps on the occasion.

I absolutely love how down-to-earth Far From Home is in its themes. Ultimately, it’s about Peter just wanting to be a teenager with a crush and a well-deserved need for a break. Every high schoolers feel like a high schooler, from Peter and MJ’s awkwardness to Ned’s summer fling with Betty. It feels pretty real. On that topic, it’s the first time I really root for Peter and MJ. I feel like their couple came pretty naturally and they’ve had the best chemistry amongst the whole MCU.

I absolutely love how they treated Mysterio. He might have only been here for a movie but he’s definitely a great villain. He might not have the best motivations, but you know what? I don’t care whether he’s got good motivations: they make sense and it’s said from the start that he’s unstable. I love how he still manages to validate Peter’s feelings, how sympathetic he is. Most of all though, I love that he’s smart and has managed to gather smart people around him. In a world after Thanos, it’s no wonder that their multiverse theory totally worked. I mean, if I’d witnessed half the population vanish, you bet I’d believe that the multiverse theory to be true: especially in a world that’s still searching for its new heroes. In general though, I think Mysterio’s character is pretty great. And Jake Gyllenhaal and Tom Holland had such great chemistry on screen.

I’m very fine with how they treated the Blip. The name might sound a bit silly, but well, it’s just a blip in the concerned people’s life. And it’s better than the Decimation.

I absolutely love to see how Happy and Peter’s relationship has progressed. That, when he was in trouble, Peter called Happy and he just took a jet and went fetching him was pretty nice. The “hey, Tony was a mess, you’re a mess and it’s okay,” talk was great! It’s a far call from Happy ignoring Peter’s call in Homecoming. Like here, Peter called and Happy just came, no questions asked.

We always knew that Peter was a genius, but seeing him nerding out was such a great thing. Also Mysterio telling him to never be sorry for being smart was damn fine.

OH.MY.GOD. It is so satisfying to see how Peter has become skilled with his own abilities. How fast and on point he is compared to other movies (well, mostly Homecoming). Like the way he moves and how he uses his webs. It’s so so cool (and so satisfying I need to repeat myself).

The post-credit scenes are great. Probably my favorite amongst the MCU. They have are important, are logical and explains a lot (and, actually, the whole movie works so well because Furry!Talos totally is in character as Talos). I’m so so happy to see Talos again (he was my fav in Captain Marvel).

What’s great about getting to see a movie a lot of time is to see the audience’s reaction. I’ve only seen Far From Home twice so far (for a comparison, I’ve seen Infinity War maybe... erm, 6 or 7 times and Endgame 5 times), but the audience always was really on their toes and my neighbours gasping and on their toes and really surprised and enjoying themselves all the way through. They might not laugh as loud at all the jokes (for exemple, in Endgame the ‘Heil Hydra’ joke tend to land more amongst a more comic-knowledgable crowd), but most jokes landed. People in my second screening laughed as much as in my first (more geek and comic-fans) and for me, it’s important: it means that it’s a humour that understandable whether you just like super-heroes movies or are a comic fan.

You know what. I feel that, overall, it’s my favorite live action!Spider-man. I liken it to Thor: Ragnarok in the fact that is completely is unrepentant in its comic-ey aspect and it works so so so well for me. I mean, Tom Holland already was the best live action Spider-Man for me but Far From Home came and managed to be the best slap in the face. I found it’s such a great way to start phase 4 and I absolutely can’t wait to see more of the MCU.

Also, sorry if it’s all a bit random but I went out to have some drink with friends, came back home and had more drink before writing. So yeah, alcohol. Don’t be afraid to message me though, I’ll be please to gush more (or argue if that’s what you’re into) Far From Home when I’ll be more sober.