#Thank you to those who sent kind words. I teared up a little reading them <3

[certifiedlibraryposts]

re the palestinian bird thing: different anon here, idk what they meant but it’s worth noting that, in addition to political fuckery, that the campaign to remove the word “palestine” from the bird's name might have partially been an attempt to correct a bit of historical revisionism. the only reason that region of the world is commonly known as palestine today in the first place is because the roman empire renamed the area to “syria palaestina” after the roman-jewish wars. they had previously allowed the province to be called judea/judaea, as in jews and the jewish kingdoms that existed there before being conquered. and it wasn't until much later that the arabs now known as palestinians came to be. (disclaimer: I don't speak hebrew and can't be bothered to track down hebrew articles from a decade ago to translate by hand to fact check how much this played into the bird thing but it is a reasonable possibility and an understandable one, as jewish heritage has been so often destroyed and erased. regardless, the palestinian response to make the bird a symbol is equally understandable.) relatedly, be careful about the phrase “from the river to the sea”, because while it's sometimes about palestinian liberation, it's also often used as a dogwhistle that means “kill all jews in the levant”; and the dogwhistle version has become increasingly common as of late. look into the organization called standing together for antisemitism-free activism and jewish/palestinian solidarity.

I see what you mean, the history you mentioned seems to check out and it's unquestionably been a tumultuous part of the world that's been given a lot of different names over time. However I don't really feel comfortable in agreeing it was combating revisionism because it happened during what I understand to be a violent occupation. Without a source or truly knowing the intentions it's just kind of speculation.

"From the river to the sea" was used in that post in the context of Palestinian freedom and peace. Related to that point, I also received another ask concerned with my use of the word "zionist" as it has historically described a very wide range of ideas, and has also been used as an antisemitic dogwhistle. That was not my intent, it's the word I was most familiar with to get across my point that I don't support violence against or the erasure of Palestinian culture. Those using violence and calls for peace to excuse antisemitism are despicable. One can and should be an ally of both Palestinians and Jewish people.

I looked up Standing Together, I can certainly get behind their message of peace and cooperation, and people in Israel who are working to end the genocide deserve so much respect and admiration. It seems like reception to the movement has been mostly positive, but I feel it'd be irresponsible not to mention that the PACBI wing of the BDS movement has taken issue with it in the past week. I don't feel qualified to take a definitive stance either way, especially as I also can't read Hebrew or Arabic to get more direct contex. I encourage anyone interested to learn more and come to your own conclusions.

My overall point is that I do not support the genocide the Israeli miltary is enacting on the Palestinian people. I want to share more posts about Palestinian culture, art, and joy in a time where there is effort being made to erase it.

Finally, while I do my best to make sure what goes on this blog is accurate, I just wanna make it clear that I'm neither an expert at research, nor am I able to be a definitive resource for this topic (or frankly most things).

[egcdeath]

the l word

pairing: joel miller x reader

summary: the five times you realized that you loved joel, and the first time one of you says it. 

word count: 9.1k

warnings: canon divergent, no apocalypse, 5+1 fic, hurt/comfort, a certain someone gets punched, brief mention of postpartum depression & abandonment, really brief mention of physical abuse in 3, fluff, domestic fluff, angst with a happy ending, found family

author’s note: happy very early valentine’s day! this is part three of the soccer parents au, you can read spectator sport (p1) and clean sheet (p2) here!

this fic would not be possible if it were not for the help of @freakinfairykind, who sent me the idea for scene 3 and listened to my thought vomit whenever i hit a roadblock! you can thank them for the brilliance that is what occurs in that scene :)! enjoy!

part four / series masterlist

Zero

After Nathan, you were sure that you would never fall in love again. Love was supposed to be beautiful and soft—a random bouquet of flowers, having a whole conversation with just your eyes, sweet messages sent to you when you expected it least and needed it most, and foot massages after a long day. For you, love had been nothing of the sort—settling for mediocrity, spitting out venomous words during arguments, and biting back tears on forgotten anniversaries. 

Love wasn’t kind or patient, or rainbows and flowers. Love was a storm cloud that followed you around when you were around him, pouring sadness and anger on you and striking you with lightning bolts of resentment. 

Maybe some people just simply weren’t meant for love. Maybe you were one of them.

One

After years of trying to hold together a failing marriage and hide the myriad of painful feelings you were going through for the sake of your daughter, bottling up your feelings had become your preferred coping mechanism to everyday stressors. 

For the most part, it worked for you. Sure, some days were harder than others, and the smallest confrontation or blip in the day would send you spiraling; but more often than not, you were able to compartmentalize whatever was bothering you and save it for a rainy day.

That was part of what worked so well about the relationship you had with Joel during the soccer season—you had the opportunity to unscrew the lid of the shaken bottle of your feelings just a little bit, taking some of the edge off by yelling about completely inconsequential things. But now, you don't have that outlet. And today was one of those days that you desperately needed it. 

Nathan had come by to pick up Chloe just a bit ago, and it was very obvious that she hadn’t exactly wanted to spend her weekend with him. Some of her friends were going to the mall and having a sleepover, and because Nathan wasn’t particularly fond of their parents, he’d very openly told her no. She begged and pleaded to stay with you (mainly so she could go hang out with her friends), which of course broke your heart a little bit, but also led to a pretty dramatic outburst from your daughter to Nathan when he’d picked her up.

“You’re raising a spoiled little brat,” he hissed at you, pointing an accusatory finger once Chloe was in the car. 

“At least I’m raising her. You only show up when it’s convenient for you,” you shot back. If Nathan wanted to stoop low, you could fall to his level. “Put your finger down. She’s watching us.”

“A little argument won’t hurt her,” he scoffed. “See? You’re proving my point: you spoil her too much.”

“Because years of watching her parents bicker wasn’t traumatic enough? Get in the fucking car, Nathan.”

He huffed, looking back at the car, then over at you. “Fine. But before I go, I’d appreciate it if you stopped talking poorly about me in front of her. Clearly she’s listening to you and acting out because of it.”

“Have you considered that you’re just a shit father and maybe that’s why she doesn’t like you?” you were already making your way back inside, feeling the avalanche of emotions beginning to stir inside of you, and a little frightened of what might come out next. 

“You’re still such a bitch. Every day I praise every deity that’s out there that I left your sorry ass.”

You were viciously fighting the urge to get the last word in, knowing that whatever would come out next wouldn’t be good, and you certainly didn’t want Chloe seeing you like that. You left him with a sarcastic thumbs up, then slammed your front door, taking deep breaths to attempt to calm yourself down.

You crumbled down in front of the door, still maintaining slow and deep breaths. It was no big deal. Nathan just says stuff like that to stir the pot. You just needed to find something to take your mind off of everything. Your mind went to the scarf you’d been working on crocheting, something you could mindlessly do for a little while while you cooled off. 

The scarf was going well. You were calmly crocheting the evening away when you checked your phone to find a few apologetic messages from your coworkers. Feeling confused, you went on to check your email, only to find that the promotion you’d spent the last few months of your life slaving away for had been given to someone else—someone who had worked half as hard as you, and even took credit for a few of your projects. 

Your hands shook as you set down your phone and attempted to pick back up the crochet hook. You were fine, right? Sometimes these things just happen. Sometimes you sacrifice hours of your free time, hours of time you’ll never get back with your child, or significant other, hours you’ll never get back of sleep, hours of-

You cut your mind off, tossing aside the scarf and taking a deep breath. You were gonna be okay. This just meant you could take your foot off the gas going forward, since your work, effort, and time clearly was not being valued. Maybe you would just sit at your desk and play games, then slap your name on projects and presentations like Naomi. Maybe you’d just-

Your phone began to vibrate on your bed and your immediate reaction was to silence it, but upon checking the contact name, you became slightly more inclined to answer. 

“Hey! I almost thought you weren’t gonna pick up,” the man on the other end chuckled. 

“Is everything okay?” you asked, although you weren’t sure you’d be able to handle anything else today. With how your day was going, Joel was probably calling you to break up.

“Better than okay. We finished up early, and Sarah’s already at her friend’s. You in the mood for some company?”

No, not particularly. In fact, if Joel came over, you’d probably end up going off on him over something you don’t really mean, successfully putting an end to the best thing you’ve had in a while. 

“Uh,” your voice cracked, and a rogue tear slipped down your face. You didn’t even know that you were on the brink of tears. “I’m sorry,” you uttered, digging the heels of your hands into your eyes. 

“Sorry for what? You don’t have to feel bad for not wanting me over,” he said genuinely, not picking up on your emotional state over the phone. 

“No, I do want you over,” you whimpered. “I just… I don’t want to lose you, too.”

“What? I promise you I’m not going anywhere. Well, I’m going home now, but I can also come to your place if you want me to.”

“Please,” you grit out. 

“You okay?” he asked, finally catching on to the fact that something was very off with you. 

“I don’t know,” you confessed. 

“Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?”

“No.”

“You sure you want me to come over?”

“Yeah,” you sniffled, desperately trying to fend off your tears.

“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll see you soon, alright?”

“Bye,” you hung up, burrowing yourself under layers of blankets and curling up onto your side. Maybe this tidal wave of emotions would pass by the time Joel got to your place. You closed your eyes as you took deep, shaky breaths, wiping away stray tears every now and then as they fell. You could pull yourself together. 

You kept telling yourself this as you dragged yourself out of bed to answer the door, but the moment you saw Joel with a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers, you completely lost it. He immediately tossed the items down and pulled you into a tight embrace, not exactly knowing what was wrong, but instinctually wanting to comfort you regardless. 

You didn’t even really know what it was either. Sure, you were pissed that you’d lost the promotion, and even more upset that Nathan had called your daughter a name while insulting your parenting skills, but it was far more than that. It was every little thing from the past two months that had upset you in some capacity that you had decided to push as far down as possible. 

You sobbed until your throat was raw and your eyes grew sore from crying so much. The whole time Joel wordlessly held you, rubbing soothing circles into your back and swaying you back and forth just the slightest bit. You almost felt like your tears would never stop, and the more you willed yourself to pull it together, the harder it was to do so. 

Finally, you pulled away, head hanging with humiliation by the emotions abruptly pouring out of you. You truly felt like a live wire. You should’ve just told Joel not to come over. 

“Want me to run you a bath?” he asked softly, tilting your chin up so he could look at you, and rubbing a thumb over your cheek. “Or is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“A bath is good,” you said quietly, averting your gaze. You almost felt like a toddler in the midst of a tantrum. The shame of being a grown woman who couldn’t even control her emotions was overwhelming, but Joel didn’t seem to mind much at all. He simply led you up to your bathroom and quietly filled the tub for you, checking it every now and then to make sure it wasn’t too hot. Once the tub was filled up, he helped you undress, then held your hand as you stepped into the tub. 

“Would you like me to stay?” Joel asked as you settled into the tub. 

“Not really,” you admitted. 

“Okay. Just yell for me if you need anything. I’ll be downstairs.”

Somehow, the bath was everything you needed. It was just warm enough to relax your rather tense muscles, and just quiet enough to allow you to actually process your thoughts. You sat and soaked in the bath for a while, just inhaling the scent of lavender, and trying your best to let go of the feelings that you’d been holding onto for so long. 

Eventually, you felt ready to talk about things, and called out Joel’s name, who after a moment, showed up in your bathroom and sat down on a towel next to the tub. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked, reaching for your pruny hand. 

“Better,” you answered as you laced your fingers with his.  

“Well, I’m here when you feel ready to talk about it. And if you don’t feel ready to talk about it, that’s okay too.” 

“Okay,” you said quietly. “I’m sorry,” you apologized, the apology being more of a force of habit. 

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Joel  assured, “we all feel our feelings sometimes,” he pushed away a bit of hair that had fallen into your face. 

“I’m sorry you had to see me like this, I guess,” you continued. It had been a while since you’d shown any negative emotions in front of anyone, let alone a significant other. In fact, the last time you’d been sad in front of a significant other, you’d been laughed at and mocked. You’d been conditioned to see your own vulnerability as weakness, as a character flaw you needed to apologize for.

“Like what? Naked?” he teased, trying to at least make you smile when you’d clearly been feeling so down. “You know I don’t mind that at all. Seriously, though. There’s nothing wrong with being upset, and there’s nothing wrong with being upset in front of the people you care about.”

A tear slipped down your cheek. It had been so long since anyone had made you feel like you weren’t a burden for having a rough day. Joel gently brushed away your tears with his thumb, and kissed your forehead. 

“Thank you,” you muttered, feeling all sorts of feelings, particularly one feeling you couldn’t quite describe that had been lying dormant for years of your life. 

You eventually got out of the tub once the water had become too cold and you had become

somewhat of a human prune, and you found yourself curled up in bed with Joel, wearing a flannel that he’d left behind the last time he was over. 

“Feeling any better?” he asked once again, gently rubbing your back as a trashy reality TV show played quietly in the background. 

“Yeah,” you mumbled as you looked up at the ceiling, “it’s been a rough few months.” 

“Months?” Joel asked, scooting closer to you. “What’s been happening?”

“Too much to get into,” you sighed. “I guess it just all came out now.”

Joel turned down the volume of the TV, and turned his body so that he could face you properly. “If you want to talk, we have the time. I may or may not have drank a coffee on my way over here, so I’ll be completely alert for the next few hours.”

He gently grabbed your hand and squeezed it, a little reminder that he was here for you. 

“Today’s just been… bad. When Nathan picked Chloe up, she was upset so he called her a spoiled brat and said that it was my fault that she was one. Obviously I do a lot for her, and I know that I’m a good mom, but sometimes the way he talks about her scares me a little. I don’t want her to have self-esteem issues because her dad likes to name-call. I mean, she’s probably gonna have enough issues from our shitty relationship and messy divorce. That really upset me, but that definitely wasn’t the last straw or anything.”

Joel silently sat and listened, holding your hand and listening attentively.

“I lost the promotion, Joel. You know, the one I’ve been working absurd hours for? But it’s not just that, it’s just… there are months of emotions I haven’t had a chance to process. I guess it just all came out now after that.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said softly. “Nathan is an asshole. He shouldn’t be saying that kind of thing about his child just to make you feel bad. And your boss is stupid for not giving you that position when you’ve clearly earned it. Everything you’ve felt today is valid, but so is everything else that you’ve been holding in for the past… however long. It’s okay to feel your feelings in the moment instead of waiting for them to boil over.”

“I guess, it’s just… I don’t know. I’ve had to be strong for so long. I don’t know if I know how to not wait for my emotions to boil over.”

“Well, you don’t have to be so strong anymore. You’re not alone,” he assured you. “If you ever need me to watch Chloe because you need to go out to the middle of nowhere and scream, or just need someone to talk your feelings out with, I am more than happy to do so. Okay?”

“Okay,” you agreed, setting your head on Joel’s chest. 

You were getting that weird, dormant feeling in you once again. There was an odd warmth in your chest and butterflies in your stomach, that felt strange and familiar, but most of all, exciting. You had no idea what was going on, or what that feeling was, but you did know that you didn’t want it to stop anytime soon.

And honestly, it didn’t seem like it would. 

Two

Walking into Joel’s home to the sound of soft guitar chords made you feel a bit like you had woken up in a dream, or died and gone to heaven. It wasn’t often that you’d heard him play guitar. Sing? Sure! He loved to sing along to a song he liked on the radio, or do karaoke with you and the kids. But playing guitar was something that he seemed to like to keep to himself.

Joel had picked Chloe up from school, as you had an important work event that you’d anticipated going quite late, and as you’d predicted, it was nearly midnight by the time you got to Joel’s place. It was rare for you to see those two alone, without yours or Sarah’s presence, but you’d assumed the latter had gone to bed due to how late it was and the fact that they had school in the morning.

So hearing Joel play for your daughter felt… weird. But a good weird. Like he trusted her enough to be doing something that he often kept under wraps, even for you.

“I love this song!” you heard your daughter exclaim from the living room. You rounded a corner, not quite ready to appear yet, but curious enough to eavesdrop on the scene.

Joel chuckled at her reaction, “should we sing it together?”

“Maybe, I’m not very good, though.”

“I doubt that,” Joel said, continuing to play the introduction to the song on a loop. 

“I… fine, I’ll sing.”

The two of them began to sing along to the song, and you could’ve sworn that your heart did an actual flip as you listened. There was something very sweet about the whole scene, of Joel playing a song your daughter loved, of him assuring her that she was good enough, and singing something together. 

You should’ve felt bad for listening in on the scene, for invading on a moment that was clearly meant to be private, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to feel that way when your heart was so filled with… something that you couldn’t quite place.

The song came to a soft conclusion, and you figured there was no better time to finally step out from behind the wall than then. 

“You guys sounded so good!” you stated as you entered the room.

“Oh hi,” Joel greeted a little awkwardly, looking down at his guitar as if he’d been caught red handed. 

“Mom!” Chloe exclaimed, coming over to you and hugging you. “I missed you.”

“We were just killing time while we waited for you to get home. How was work?”

“Eh,” you shrugged, sitting down across from Joel as Chloe curled up next to you. “It was work.”

“Mom, did you know that Joel sings and plays guitar? He’s really good!”

“Really? I didn’t know that,” you acted surprised for your child, but looked mischievously at your partner. It wasn’t often that you had the chance to get Joel to play you something, and you refused to let the opportunity slip away from you. “Can you play me something?”

“He can!” Chloe accepted the offer before Joel could begin to protest. God, was this child your mini-you. “Go ahead, Joel.”

He looked to you as if he needed some sort of excuse to not do it, or encouragement to play (more likely than not, he was looking for an out), but you simply shrugged, far too enthused at the idea of him playing guitar for you. 

Just as the man sighed and began to put his fingers to the string, Sarah came down the stairs and plopped herself right next to you. 

“You guys are loud,” she stated, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. 

“Sorry for waking you up,” you apologized. “You were just about to miss your dad’s concert!”

“Oh good,” Sarah giggled, getting all comfortable next to you as she pulled a blanket over her lap. 

“I feel like this is a premeditated attack,” Joel held onto his guitar. 

“It’s definitely not. We just want you to share your gift with the world!”

“Alright, fine. Only because I like you guys so much.”

The three of you cheered from the couch as Joel began to play again, the soft acoustic notes of a love song you’d heard a few times before. As Joel played and sang, he looked straight at you, and you couldn’t help but feel like the lyrics were coming straight from his heart to you. 

That warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest that you’d become more and more familiar with over the course of your relationship began to reappear as you sat there, the moment a snapshot of the perfect domestic bliss that had become your home life. As you sat with your two favorite children in the world, and your favorite man, you realized that you’d never felt more content in your life. 

Three

When you agreed to come to a bar with Joel, you hadn’t expected it to be a quaint little hole-in-the-wall with great live music. 

The atmosphere was lively, the drinks were dangerously sweet, and best of all, it was cute watching Joel in his element. Part of you wondered if he ever saw himself up on the stage, playing for a little audience. Although, he was so bashful and shy playing in front of you and the girls that you wondered if he would like it at all. 

You finished off your first drink rather quickly, but you were feeling up for another, and prepared to head back to the bar. “Do you want another drink?” you asked Joel over the loud music. 

“I’m alright. Thank you, though,” he kissed your cheek, then looked back up at the stage, directing all of his focus there once more. 

You made your way back to the bar, where you ordered another fruity drink for yourself and patiently waited for it to be made, humming along to the cover being sung on stage. 

Being able to find out more about what Joel liked to spend his time doing was (unsurprisingly) quite nice. While he was vulnerable with his emotions, he was often a little more closed off when it came to sharing his hobbies and interests. You wondered how many of these live shows and open mics he was familiar with, how many local artists he was friends with. Would he ever feel comfortable enough around you to share those things with you? Well, you certainly hoped so. 

You looked around with a small smile on your face at the thought of learning more about your partner’s interests. Had he ever been the one up on stage? Maybe before Sarah was born and he was launched straight into the time consuming world of fatherhood. Although, he surely would’ve shared that with you by now.

You were drawn out of thought when eyes landed on a head of hair that looked a little too familiar for your liking.  

No.

There was no way.

This bar was definitely not his scene. In fact, if you’d suggested this bar, he would’ve laughed in your face and called you a hipster, before dragging you out to some stuffy restaurant where he’d complain about the portion size of both his meal and the bill. 

Your mind was just playing a mean trick on you. You’d had a somewhat stressful week, and sometimes drinking made you the slightest bit paranoid. Besides, it was just someone’s hair. Literally anyone could have that hair color, or hair cut, and although the world was small, it wasn’t that small. 

Just as you began to fall headfirst into your nerves, the bartender handed you your drink, and you walked back to Joel, head still in the clouds. 

You couldn’t shake that off feeling, even as Joel danced around with you and stole a sip of your drink, both actions bringing a smile to your face, but not quite quelling the growing discomfort in your stomach. 

You just needed to go clear your mind and freshen up. At least, that’s what you told yourself before telling Joel to keep your drink safe and power walking to the bathroom.

You stood at the sink, splashing your face with water as cold as the faucets would go. Nathan was not here. You needed to just relax, and enjoy the fun date that Joel had planned. You couldn’t keep letting this man ruin your experiences, even when he wasn’t present.

“You okay, hun?” a voice asked you while your head was bowed over the sink. When you looked up, your eyes nearly popped out of your head, as if you were some ridiculous cartoon character. 

Well. Your brain must’ve really been fucking with you today. Or the Universe just really hated you. 

Claire, Nathan’s new girlfriend, was asking you if you were alright in the bathroom of a bar that your new boyfriend had suggested. 

You were completely unsure of whether she knew who you were or not, although she seemed tipsy enough not to care. 

“Oh, I’m fine,” you smiled awkwardly at her. “But, uh, my mascara’s a little smudged. Any chance you have a makeup wipe?”

“Yeah!” she said, digging into her purse to check for the item. 

You’d never met Claire before, but as far as first impressions went, this one wasn’t too bad. She offered you the wipe, then stood next to you as you dabbed at your under eye. 

“You meet anyone fun tonight?” she asked, beginning to touch up her own makeup. 

“No, I’m actually here with my partner. He really likes the music,” you said casually, dabbing at the same spot so you could at least attempt to maintain your composure in an otherwise dramatically ironic and tense situation. 

“Oh no. Was he the one making you cry?”

“Cry? No! I was sweating. We were dancing,” suddenly, a slightly perverse question crossed your mind. “Does your partner make you cry a lot?”

“How do you even know I have one?” she giggled, sounding less accusatory and more confused. 

“I don’t I just-“

“No, not really,” she shrugged as she reapplied her lip liner. “He mostly just buys me shit and spoils me. What would I have to cry about? He’s a really good guy.”

Oh, you remembered that phase. Well, phases. The time after he’d slapped you during an argument immediately came to mind. Nathan could probably teach a seminar on love bombing, then making you feel guilty for having any negative feelings because of all the money he’d spent on you. 

“That’s good,” you nodded, tossing the used wipe in the trash and making your way to the door. “Thanks for checking in on me and helping me. Have a good night.”

“Hey, do I know you from somewhere?” she asked as your hand hit the door.

“No,” you replied promptly, maybe slamming the door behind you a little too hard. 

This was a lot to process, and a lot to take in. Despite having a fun time with Joel, you really just wanted to go home. Finding your way back out to him, you silently accepted back your drink and stood besides him stiffly. 

“You okay?” he asked, gently grabbing your arm. 

“Fine, just… just.. I have an upset stomach,” you explained. You were never a good liar, the concern in Joel’s eyes told you that you hadn’t suddenly become one. 

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” he said, rubbing your forearm gently. “Let’s go home, okay?”

You certainly didn’t protest as he began to lead you out of the bar, and you let out a sigh of relief at being able to leave before running into anyone else you knew.

Although, life was never that simple, was it?

As you approached the door, a familiar voice called out your name, sending a chill up your spine. Joel’s head whipped around from where it was coming from, and scowled when he saw who the voice belonged to. Ignoring him, the two of you continued your departure, a newfound urgency in both of your steps.

Once you were outside, you felt yourself puff out a sigh of relief. You’d managed to get out of the bar with only a brief conversation with Claire, and no direct interaction with Nathan. Now, if you could only get home, curl up with Joel on the couch, and tell him the absurd story of how you’d bumped into your ex’s new girlfriend in the bathroom. 

But the universe clearly wasn’t letting you off the hook just yet.

“Hey!” Nathan called as he stepped out of the bar, Claire trailing just a few paces behind him. “You’re such a fuckin’ bitch. Can’t even say hi to the father of your child.”

You were almost alarmed by the speed in which Joel marched over to your ex and reprimanded him. Not even wasting a moment, Joel shoved him back—a warning of sorts, with your knowledge that he was certainly holding himself back. 

“Leave her the fuck alone,” he barked. It was like no tone you’d ever heard him use before, not when he was upset with anyone, and not even when he was yelling at a referee for a bad call.  

“And who the fuck are you?” your ex shot back. 

“Does it really matter?” Joel pressed, not backing down despite the slightly shorter man getting in his face. “You’re not gonna go around trying to degrade women.”

“Oh yeah? You gonna stop me, Mr. Nice guy?” Nathan pushed Joel, but your partner barely budged. 

“You fuckin’ cuck,” Nathan muttered. “Why do you even care about this whore?”

Nathan took a second to think about it, glancing between the two of you before a light seemed to go off in his little brain. 

“Oh, I know. You’re that guy from the soccer games. You two together now?" His condescension was almost jarring to hear, and part of you worried about what your clearly inebriated ex might say or do next. “I see you’re still the community cumrag,” he directed at you. 

You hardly had a moment to process what was just said before Joel was swinging, clearly seeing red as he threw a hefty right hook at your ex, leaving a nasty crunching sound as he fell to the ground. 

“Don’t talk about her, or any other fucking woman like that ever again,” he squatted down to his level, and grabbed both of his cheeks. “Leave her the fuck alone, you understand me? Or next time you’re gonna wish it was just your nose.”

Nathan cradled his bloody nose and whimpered and Joel walked back to you, the fury on his face melting into something apologetic as you looked at him with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he began, cautiously approaching you as if he was something to be afraid of. “I shouldn’t have done that. I overstepped-“

“Joel. Don’t apologize. Do you know how much that asshole deserved it? You did everyone a favor tonight, but especially me.” 

You had never had someone defend you so literally before. Sure, your friends had argued with Nathan a few times on your behalf, but punching Nathan in the face had truly raised your expectations for anyone who claimed to be doing anything to help you. You don’t think you’d have felt this alive or cherished in years. 

“Now let’s get you home and ice those knuckles.”

Four

You were usually a big fan of rainy days. The sound of rain pattering against the window or on the roof of your car, and the smell of petrichor on the pavement were sensations you wished you could experience all the time. But today, you weren’t quite so pleased to see the rain. 

You’d taken the day off to spend it with Joel, who had specifically asked for you to take some time off to be with him. You couldn’t blame him, as you’d been slightly neglecting him after things picked up once again at work. You’d had a whole outdoorsy day planned, with a morning hike, a visit to a conservatory, and a picnic at one of your favorite local parks. Unfortunately, none of those activities could be done comfortably in the pouring rain. 

Instead, you opted to come back to your place after you dropped your kids off at school, and have a domestic little day-in.

After putting some homemade cinnamon rolls into the oven, the two of you found yourselves on your couch, comfortably sitting together and reading your own books while the smell of warm cinnamon filled your house. 

Occasionally, you glanced out your window, the scene of rain granting you a sense of serenity. At one point, you noticed Joel’s gaze out the window as well, and you couldn’t help but comment on it. 

“Don’t you just love the rain?” you asked, setting your book down on your coffee table. It was more of an excuse to break the silence than an actual comment, but you said it regardless.

“It’s nice,” he agreed, his tone oddly somber for a comment on the rain. 

“You okay, big guy?” you asked before moving closer to Joel. 

“I’m alright,” he smiled, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. There wasn’t any real concrete evidence that something was off, but something inside you told you that something definitely was off. 

“You sure?” you asked, squeezing his bicep. 

“Yeah, it’s just,” he paused, looking down at his book as if he was about to go right back to reading instead of telling you the issue. After a moment of hesitation, he spoke once more, “it’s the anniversary of Diane leaving.”

Oh. So that’s why he’d asked to be with you today.

You’d never heard Joel say her name before. Sure, you’d seen her name written under a polaroid or two, but you’d never heard Joel reference her ever. Now that you thought about it, you didn’t really know what their deal was. Amicable exes? Divorcees? Was Joel a widower? You felt awful that you’d gone this far into a relationship and still didn’t know anything about his last significant one. 

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly, not completely sure how to react. You mainly wanted to get a gauge on Joel’s reaction–just how upset was he? Did he want to talk about it? Or just get the importance of the day out in the open?

“It’s just… Today feels like that day in a lot of ways.”

You nodded slowly, still not exactly sure of how to approach the situation. You thought back to all of the times he’d been there to support you when you were having a rough day, and ended up asking aloud, “is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” 

“Maybe just listening, if that’s okay. It helps to talk about it,” he paused. “The rolls smell done. I’ll go get them,” with that, he was off to the kitchen, barely giving you time to react, or even protest his departure.

He clearly wanted to talk, but just wasn’t completely ready to do so at that moment. You could listen. You could be the best damn listener on the planet if that was what Joel needed from you. No matter what he revealed to you today, you were determined to make Joel feel comfortable, and know that whatever he was going through, he wasn’t alone—just as he’d shown you in the past.

By the time he came back to the living room, Joel offered you a plate with an iced cinnamon roll and acted like everything was normal. He sat back down next to you, stole a bite from your plate, then buried his nose right back into his novel.

You respected his right to process his emotions in any way he saw fit. All you could do was be a good partner, and offer whatever he needed from you to feel better, like he’d done for you so many times before. 

While you were fine with spending your day cuddled up on the sofa and reading, you were also aware that there were a good amount of house chores that were calling your name. Upon mentioning these tasks, Joel insisted on helping out, which was how you two landed in the laundry room, laughing at something stupid that had happened to you this week. 

While you loaded light clothes into your washer, Joel suddenly caught you off guard with a question that was a far cry from the banter you’d just been having only moments before. 

“Is it… are you okay with me talking about it?”

By it you could only assume he meant the giant elephant of a woman in the room. 

“Of course,” you turned to him, offering sympathetic eyes. 

“She left just a few months after Sarah was born,” Joel busied himself by pouring out laundry detergent and fabric softeners. “I just woke up one morning to an empty bed and a note in the kitchen saying she was leaving, she wasn’t coming back, and not to look for her.”

You were taken aback by the cruelty of such an abrupt ending, especially with such a young infant. You couldn’t imagine being put in those circumstances so unexpectedly. 

Joel casually poured the respective liquids into their proper places in the machine, then turned it on. “It was a day just like this. The nursery had a nice, big window that we put a rocking chair in front of. Sarah liked looking at the stars when she was younger, it always helped to calm her down. I remember holding her in that chair and bawling my eyes out while she cried too, and with all the rain against the window… it felt like the Earth was crying right along with us.”

You weren’t sure what to say or how to react, but it seemed like Joel was prepared to move right on, quickly changing the subject as he led you out of the laundry room. 

Baking cinnamon rolls had left a lot of dishes in the sink, but luckily for you, you had an extra set of hands to help you out. Joel was on rinsing duty, and you were on loading.

You quickly found your rhythm, as you often did with partnered tasks. You worked quietly while loading the dishes, letting the music from your speaker fill up the silence, but it was obvious Joel was lost in thought.

Eventually, he quietly began to speak again, “I kept trying to make sense of her leaving. I knew that postpartum depression hit her really hard, and that she was barely sleeping at night because of how often Sarah was crying. Sarah was a really sensitive, fussy baby. She’d told me how she’d felt a few times, and I always kinda thought things would just pass. Every new parent hits that roadbump where they just can’t see themselves doing this thing forever, right? Then, she just left. I thought maybe she just needed a few days away, and that she’d be back. But days went by, then weeks, then it had been a month, and it was still just Sarah and I.”

“Did she ever come back around?” you asked, setting down the last dish into the sink, then closing the machine.

“Never heard from her again.”

You closed the distance between you and the man, wrapping him in as tight of a hug that you could manage. 

“I’m so sorry,” you muttered into his shirt as he melted into your embrace. “I can’t even imagine how painful and stressful that was.”

As a mother, you couldn’t imagine abandoning your child; the tiny human being you spent nine months carrying, and would spend a lifetime loving. But as a human, you understood the stress of being the parent of a newborn. Waking up every few hours because your baby is crying and you’ve tried everything to get her to stop but she just… won’t. Paired with postpartum depression, which you were no stranger to, you could understand the circumstances that led Diane to feeling like she had no other option but to leave. But that didn’t, in any way, make it the right thing to do. 

As you held Joel, a sound you hadn’t ever heard from him escaped his lips, wracking his body. A guttural cry that had clearly been trapped deep inside of him for the longest time had suddenly escaped as he recalled an event that had clearly changed his life. 

You stood in the kitchen holding him for what felt like forever, when he finally pulled away, wiping his face a little bit. 

“Thank you,” was all that he managed to get out.

You laid next to him in bed after a rather emotionally loaded session of lovemaking, trying to catch your breath as the two of you recovered from the underlying emotional and physical aftermath of your fornication. As Joel spooned you, a question lingered on your mind. 

“Do you still love her?” you asked, keeping your eyes forward on the wall. You wanted to say you were sure he had moved on, but these types of situations were rather nuanced. There were just some bonds that regardless of time or circumstances, people continued to hold on to. 

“No,” he answered clearly. “I don’t hate her, either. I guess I just understand her. But that doesn’t make what she put me or Sarah through any better.” 

You slipped your hand down to where his were currently laying on your stomach, and you set one on top of his. 

“I’m not jealous, I’m just curious. Do you ever miss her?” 

“I used to,” he sighed, the close breath blowing some hairs on your neck. “I don’t anymore.”

Eventually, your laundry was dry, meaning you two needed to get out of bed and get to folding. 

“She has a new family, now,” he said out of the blue, as he folded up a pair of your pajama pants. “Husband, kids, dog, the full nine yards. Tommy found her Facebook a few years ago, but I still haven’t looked. I don’t really know why.”

You didn’t really know why either, but you knew exactly the feeling he was experiencing. Seeing your ex who you’d invested so much into and had a child with move on with someone was a particularly gut wrenching feeling. You could only imagine how much worse it was in Joel’s scenario, where Diane had abandoned him and their child, yet had a child and built another family elsewhere. 

“Does Sarah know?” you asked, putting a blouse onto a hanger. 

“Bits and pieces. She kinda just accepted that her mom’s not in the picture, but doesn’t know why she left or anything about her mom’s new family,” Joel finished up with his basket, then began to help you with yours. “Maybe when she’s older. Old enough to understand that it isn’t her fault and that these things just… happen sometimes.”

“I guess,” you frowned as you grabbed your last article of clothing and hung it up. “It shouldn’t have happened, though. Neither of you deserved to be abandoned.”

“It was gonna happen one way or another,” Joel shrugged, putting your baskets away. “Our relationship had been on the rocks even before Diane became pregnant. If it wasn’t then, it would be later. I’m just glad it happened early enough that Sarah doesn’t remember. You in the mood for a coffee?”

His words gave you a bit of whiplash, but you accepted the offer of a warm drink regardless. 

You sat at your table, stirring your drink as Joel sat down across from you. 

“Good, right?” he asked. “I think I’ve officially nailed the way you like your coffee.”

“It’s pretty good,” you admitted, taking a sip from a mug that Chloe had decorated in her school’s art class. 

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Good. It is one,” you hummed. 

It was clear that his mood was slightly improving the more that he talked about his experience. You wondered just how much of this information he’d shared with anyone else before you, as he told the story as if he were confessing something for the first time ever. 

“I’ve never told anyone this much about it,” he confessed. “I’m glad that of all the people I could’ve told, it ended up being you.”

“Joel, I,” the words popped into your head, but died on your tongue. “I care about you so much. I know this can’t be easy to talk about, so thank you for sharing this with me,” you squeezed his hands across the table. 

“Thank you for being so supportive. I also care about you a lot. So much that it scares me. Especially knowing that you could lose everything in a literal night,” he admitted. 

“Oh Joel,” you said softly. “I’m also scared. I’m always so scared that I’ll lose you and Sarah and this little blended family we’ve made. But if that’s the price I pay for… caring about you so much, I’m okay with being afraid.”

Joel looked at you like he had something to say, but instead sat there quietly for a moment, processing your words. “Do you want to watch an episode of The Bachelorette?” 

“Is that even a question? C’mon,” you stood up.

The two of you cuddled up on the couch once again, this time with a much lighter feeling in the room, partially due to what Joel had confessed to you, and partially due to the absolutely ridiculous content playing on your television.

“I’m sad that I had to go through what I had to go through, but I’m glad that it led me to you,” Joel said out of the blue, resting his forehead against yours.

You were glad that he found you too.

Five

It wasn’t every day that the forces of the universe seemed to be on your side, but for some reason, today was one of those days. 

When you’d been called into your boss’ office that morning, a pit formed in your stomach. You’d figured that the day you were going to be laid off was coming, especially following the whole promotion fiasco. As you walked into her office, you fully intended to be walking out without a job. 

Except, that wasn’t what happened. You had been promoted, and promoted into a position even higher than the one you’d previously been gunning after. 

Once you found out, you had to fight the urge to skip out of your boss’s office, singing and dancing with joy. Instead, you fought that urge by closing the door to your office, and calling Joel. 

“Hey honey, what’s up?” he answered casually. 

“Joel, they promoted me! And it’s an even better position than what I was trying to get before!” you squealed. 

Joel cheered from over the phone, making you somehow smile even harder. “Congratulations! I’m so proud of you. I can’t think of anyone who deserves this more than you.”

“Oh my god, stop it,” you giggled, putting your hands up to your warm cheeks. 

“No, I’m serious,” Joel countered. “I know a lot of hard workers, and none of them work as hard as you. You’ve sacrificed so much to get here and it’s finally paid off.”

“Thank you, Joel,” you had more to say, but you decided to keep it to yourself. Mainly, how did you get so lucky to end up with a man like him? 

“Are you busy tonight?” he asked. 

“I’m just dropping Chloe off at my mom’s, then I should be free for the evening. Why?”

“Why don’t you come over to my place so we can celebrate? You picked the right time to get a promotion. Sarah’s going to her uncle’s for the weekend.”

“Sounds good to me,” you hummed. “I’ll text you when I’m heading over.”

“Alright. Again, congratulations! So proud.”

You hung up and attempted to get back to work, but you were far too excited to focus for too long. You somehow made it to the end of the work day and to Joel’s house without spontaneously combusting from joy.

When you walked in, you were immediately met with the smells of one of your favorite candles, mixed with the mouthwatering scent of fragrant coming from the kitchen. 

“Joel, I’m home!” you announced, making your way to the kitchen only to find it very dressed up. The lights were dimmed, a crisp white table cloth rested on the table, and a gorgeous arrangement of flowers sat in a vase in the middle of the table, right next to a rather nice looking bottle of champagne. 

Joel was finishing up plating something spectacular as you came in. “Please, have a seat,” he directed. You didn’t need to be told twice. 

With the arrangement of the table, you almost felt like you were sitting at a fancy little restaurant, but better, knowing all the effort Joel had put into making the table look this way.  He brought over two plates, set one over at his seat and one in front of you, before leaning down and kissing you gently. 

“Congratulations. I am so, so, so proud of you,” he said after finally pulling away, reaching for the bottle of champagne on the table.

“If anyone in the world deserves good things,” he turned away from you so that he could safely pop the bottle. “It’s you. I’m glad you’re finally getting the recognition that you deserve.”

With the bottle opened, he poured you out a glass, then poured himself some. You lifted up your glass and Joel mirrored you.

“Cheers,” you said with a grin, tapping your glasses together, then taking a sip. Once you finished drinking, Joel leaned in for one more kiss before he situated himself back into his chair. 

“I think you deserve a promotion from best boyfriend in the world to best boyfriend in the universe,” you softly laughed, looking down at your plate. 

“Do I? I think anyone would celebrate the person they…” he paused for just a split second, and you probably wouldn’t have noticed it if you weren’t paying such close attention. “The person they’re sharing their life with if they made a big accomplishment like this.”

“Honey, you’d be very surprised. I can think of at least one person who would view this promotion as a bad thing.”

“Well, don’t think about them right now. This is an amazing thing, and we’re celebrating you today. Not an insecure man with a Napoleon complex and a small penis.”

You laughed out loud, nearly choking on a bubbly sip of champagne. 

“You’re right,” you picked up your fork and knife, reading to dig into the amazing looking meal in front of you. “Thank you for this, Joel. You always make me feel so appreciated and cherished. You’re truly one of a kind.”

He shook his head bashfully at the compliment, eating right along with you. It was almost cute how he never seemed to accept compliments, but certainly deserved them more than basically any other person that you knew. 

“You always show me how much you care about me. It’s only fair that I do the same.”

“You’re so romantic,” you sighed. “How can I guarantee that I can keep you around forever?”

“Just keep being you, I guess. That’s all I’ve really ever wanted.”

How did you get so lucky? How did you manage to hit the jackpot on men with Joel, almost let it slip through your fingers not once, but twice, and still managed to end up with one of your favorite people in the world? 

However it ended up happening, you certainly weren’t mad at it, and as you sat together, you hoped for things never to change. 

Plus One

Given that you practically lived at each other’s homes now, you often spent your mornings together getting ready to take on the day. It was cute how you both had your own little routines and were able to coexist in a tiny little space. 

Today, you stood in Joel’s bathroom, washing your face as the mirror across from you began to become progressively more foggy from the heat of Joel’s shower. 

“My hair is gonna be so frizzy,” you muttered to yourself as you rubbed moisturizer into your skin. 

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to come in here with me,” Joel shot back from the shower, turning the water off. 

“Whatever,” you grumbled, getting back to work on your face as Joel dried himself off and wrapped a towel around his waist. 

“You’re so cute when you’re grumpy in the morning,” he commented as he approached you, standing next to you at the sink. 

“I am not grumpy,” you argued, then paused once Joel gave you a very disbelieving expression. “Fine. I can get a little irritable in the morning. Especially when someone’s boiling hot showers make my hair get all frizzy.”

“I wonder who that someone is?” Joel looked around the room in faux confusion. 

“Ugh, shut up. You are such a dad,” you fought back laughter, but you couldn’t really help the smile that appeared on your lips. 

“Shutting up,” Joel acknowledged, grabbing his razor and some shaving cream to touch up some of his facial hair. You began to brush your teeth, focusing on yourself in the mirror to make sure that you were making your dentist proud. 

Your eyes eventually migrated and were meeting Joel’s in the mirror. You flashed him a big, foamy grin, and he immediately broke into hysterics, setting the razor down so he didn’t cut himself while laughing so hard. 

“Really?” he asked between laughs. “While I’m shaving?”

“Sorry,” you shrugged with a self-satisfied smirk. 

“You are such a dork,” Joel sighed as he calmed himself down, leaning against the counter as he began to work on shaving his face once more. “Ugh, I love you,” the words seemed to come out of his mouth involuntarily, if the horrified look on his face told you anything. 

It seemed like the whole house stopped after Joel said it, the dripping from the showerhead ceasing, the faint buzz of the air conditioner nowhere to be found, and the noises of your children downstairs coming to a halt.

You were shocked at the admission, and Joel seemed to be shocked that he’d said anything. 

Now that he’d mentioned it, you really did love Joel. You loved how he supported you, and how he treated your daughter like she was his own. You loved that he wasn’t afraid to fight for what he believed in, especially when that included socking your ex in the face. You loved his ability to be vulnerable with you, and the way that he seemed to always know what to say at the right time. You loved knowing that no matter how shitty of a day you’d had, Joel would always be there, ready to order your favorite foods and spoon you while decompressing with the worst, most trashy reality TV you could find. 

You’d spent all this time thinking that you’d never experience romantic love again, that romantic love was tumultuous and exhausting, when you’d been in love with Joel the whole time. 

You were one of those people who were meant to love and be loved. Joel had proven that much to you. 

“I love you too,” you confessed, toothpaste still obstructing your mouth.

Maybe love wasn't so bad after all.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

I know you probably JUST posted the FNAF Movie request where the reader possesses Sparky, but after reading it this idea popped into my head and I need to get it out there.

Could we have a sort of continuation of the 'Sparky reader' fic that takes place towards the finale of the movie? The idea I had is that after Abby helps the animatronics remember that it was William Afton who killed them, the reader actually joins up with the others in confronting him. Additionally, William is shocked because he wasn't expecting the reader to have also possessed an animatronic, let alone that they would have command over the others (he probably thought he was the only one with that kind of power).

👀

The first Sparky!Reader part

........

"Look at you...look at the nasty things that you have become! Look at how small you are! How worthless you are!! You are wretched, rotten little beasts! I MADE YOU!!!"

Even as William shouted angrily at the animatronics, pounding a gloved fist against his chest, he realized how quickly he was losing his ability to keep them in line.

Thanks to that brat showing them the truth in a stupid drawing--which proved that he, the yellow bunny they once trusted, was the cause of all their pain--they didn't obey him anymore.

Now he couldn't control them like he used to.

No longer were they blindly singing and dancing to his tune.

Because they finally remembered what really happened that day.

He then heard another pair of heavy footsteps, and from the darkness emerged a character he had almost entirely forgotten about:

Sparky.

But how was he moving? And why?

William swore that mutt was sitting in the backstage area, deactivated and unable to walk freely.

It was impossible.

Unless....

"Of course..I figured you would have woken up eventually, too." He chuckled weakly, taunting you all. "So what's your plan now? To kill me? Shove me into a suit like you did to those poor people?! Well you can't...because I know how you all think!! I'm smarter than you!!"

"No. You are a fool, Afton. It isn't us who will kill you."

His laughter ceased upon hearing your disembodied voice speaking to him, and he froze for a moment, bewildered by what you had said.

It was extremely unnerving to learn that your ghost could even talk to him at all, considering the other children have been silent.

What made you so special?

Unfortunately for him, he realized far too late what you meant by those words...as he noticed you gesturing to Chica, who sent her Cupcake after him.

It lunged with a growl, biting into the torso of his suit and not letting go.

He grabbed onto it, struggling to tear the feral little bastard off of him, not knowing that would be the last mistake he ever made.

When he finally managed to toss the Cupcake away from him, it took a chunk of the suit's fabric with it, exposing part of the springlock endoskeleton underneath.

And without any material for the mechanisms to stay compressed against...

They snapped, one bar stabbing into his side and sinking deep into his flesh, blood leaking through his shirt almost immediately.

With a gasp of pain, William collapsed to his knees as the springlocks continued to puncture him one by one--with you and the other animatronics simply staring him down, watching him endure the same torment he brought upon each of you.

None of your suits were made from springlocks, of course...but now he, too, will know what it's like to be encased inside a tomb of fabric and metal forever.

He scrambled for the Springbonnie head that laid beside him, only to see your brown paws snatch it off the ground.

You kept his above his head, just barely within his reach.

All he did was stare into your glowing red eyes, shocked at the commanding presence you held over his creations. He had no idea how you got them to follow your lead so easily.

Yet despite knowing that he lost, he refused to lie down and show any sort of fear.

Instead a grin appeared on his sweaty face, each exhaled breath growing more strained than the last.

And before you shoved the Springbonnie head onto him, forever sealing him inside his tomb, he made one final haunting declaration:

"I always come back."

[spid3namy]

— AUGUST

pairing : e!42 miles x mixed!female reader

summary : rumors spread like wildfire around school, everyone knew everyone's business. who knew the only rumor about you and your boyfriend would be true...?

contains : angst, cheating, song inspired (obviously), they are mid to late teens, miles lowkey stupid asf, implied lying (kind of), might have some incorrect spanish, cussing, not proof read

divider creds : saradika

word count : 2031

notes : lowkey, i only wrote this cus i literally love this song and figured why not write angst. this is my way of being productive while also being lazy asf LMAO. i probably might start a taglist for people who wanna be tagged when i post new things but we’ll see. anyways, i hope you enjoy the story <3

“Will you call when you're back at school...?”

Summer vacation.

For some, it was a great way to get away from school. To hang out with friends, to spend time with family. Others, it was nothing but a cruel and long three and a half months. 

For you, it was supposed to be a great three and a half months!

Until you found out that you were being shipped away to your grandparents house to spend time with them. Sure, you loved your grandparents but they were just.. so old. Summer was supposed to be the time when you hung out with your best friends!

And most importantly, your boyfriend! But no. 

Before you knew it, you had been packed up and sent on a flight all the way up to the shitty state of Washington. And that’s cruelly how you spent your summer vacation. Being around old people for a long three and a half months literally sucked.

September 18.

The day school started was a nightmare.

Rumors spread around like wild-fire at Visions Academy. Well, you knew that much. Especially with all the rumors that happened last year about the girl that had gotten pregnant. Of course, that rumor had been a lie. But everyone knew about it in the spam of like 20 minutes.

“Y/N! Have you heard yet?”

Your best friend, Juno, is the first one to come up to you the moment you walk through the doors. She was always so pretty when she came to school. If you all didn’t have to wear uniforms, she’d probably be the hottest girl in school with those fire ass fits you knew she owned.

“Heard what exactly?”

“Okay, so I’m guessing you haven’t heard then.”

You look at the girl and raise an eyebrow, brushing your braids behind your shoulder to flow down your back. What the hell was she on about now? Juno was your best friend, yes, but she was too into the gossip the school had going on. Most times, you couldn’t even believe the words she said. 

“Well, are ya gonna tell me?”

Juno stared at you for a few moments before she shrugged, figuring that if you really wanted to know then she would tell you. Even if she knew it was gonna hurt you, it was best if you found out from her and not some random stranger who probably would tell it in the worst way possible.

“Promise you won’t get mad?”

“Uh.. okay? I promise.”

Juno let out a breath and gripped the strap of her tote bag tightly before she spoke in a mess of jumbled up words. “Okay so basically, I heard from Dorothea who heard it from Suki who heard it from Rose who heard it from Verity who heard it from Betty who heard it from Venus, herself, that she and Miles had a little fling over the summer.”

You blink as you watch Juno suck in a huge intake of air. She was acting as though she had been waiting a long time to gain some type of air in her lungs. 

You soon burst out into laughter and shook your head, holding your stomach as you laughed. Juno watched you with confusion clear on your face; she clearly didn’t understand what the hell was funny. 

Once you had slowly started to calm down, you wiped an imaginary tear from your eye and shook your head, looking at the female. 

“Whew, thanks Jun, I really needed a laugh today.”

“I’m being serious, Y/N. I totally think it’s true too!”

“That’s ridiculous, Miles would never do anything like that. Me and he are locked in.”

Juno stares at you before she shrugged; the two of you started your descent down the hallway to where your shared first class was. 

“‘M just sayin’ what I heard. Only Miles would really know what happened. Just hope he doesn’t lie to you.”

You snort and roll your eyes playfully, nudging her with your shoulder and looking over at her. “He would never lie to me.”

“Whatever you say, Y/N. But just remember: men ain’t shit”

“Tha.. thank you for that, Juno. But you’re not really the greatest person to say that. Especially since you’re biased as hell.”

“What? I am not biased!” 

“Yes you are”

Juno rolled her eyes as the two of you walked into the classroom. Anatomy, the board read.

Great, seeing bodies and stuff at 8 in the morning was gonna be so fun. And it was a block class. How fun.

✰

Lunch. Possibly the only good thing about being at this stupid school. You and Juno stand in line together, looking at all the options of food you can pick out. It’s not much. Pizza, nachos, salads, and hot dogs. Barf. 

You let out a sigh and grabbed a plate that had a pretty decent sized slice of pizza. Juno looks over at you and makes a face before she reaches over to grab a salad. The two of you quickly scan your school ids to pay for the food before you walk over to a table where Miles had been sitting. He had been there alone for a while now. 

He was fortunate enough to have his own food.

Juno sits in front of you two before she nudges her head over to the male who was too busy drawing in his stupid sketchbook to even notice that you were even there. You give a look before you sit down next to your boyfriend, peering over his shoulder a little to see what he was doing.

“Whatcha drawin’?”

“You.”

The answer was so flat, so blunt. It caused your cheeks to heat up when you realized that he was, in fact, drawing you. Miles had always been so good at drawing. It was one of his many talents. 

“You two make me sick.”

“You’re just jealous, Jun. It’s not our fault that your mystery girl doesn’t know you exist.”

Juno lets out a dramatic cry and puts her head down when you mention the girl she had a crush on since 8th grade. It was a little cute that she’s liked her for so long. Yet, she has never even attempted to make a move on her.

“I just wish Leni would notice me.”

“Just talk to her, it ain’t that hard.” That earned Miles a glare despite the fact that he didn’t even really see it. Not like he really cared. He was just speaking the truth.

“Not everyone is brave enough for that, Miles.”

“Jus’ quit being a fuckin’ pussy and talk to her.”

Juno glared at him more and started to stand up. You shake your head quickly to get her to sit down. You already knew where this was headed and you really didn’t want the two of them to get into a huge argument. Not again. Not this school year.

Juno lets out a noise of frustration before she sits back down, her hand gripping the fork in her hands tightly. 

“At least, I didn’t cheat on my girlfriend.”

That seemed to gain his attention. Miles looked up from his sketchbook and quickly put his pencil down, looking at her with a look that could only be described as anger.

“Where the hell did you hear that from?”

“Miles..”

“Callarse la boca”

You look offended by his words but you don’t have time to dwell on it before Miles speaks again, his voice clear with annoyance.

“Where did you hear that from, Juno? Huh?!”

“Dorothea told me.”

Miles takes a deep breath at that, his nostrils flaring slightly as he lets out a deep and heavy exhale. He was screwed because now you knew about it. And he knew how you were going to act now that you knew. 

“Why are you gettin’ so upset, babe? It’s not like it’s true, right?”

Miles looks over at you and sighs, his shoulders tensing up as he clears his throat awkwardly. Guess it was time to be honest now. 

“Mi vida, listen... it-”

You blink and stare at you, anger slowly starting to fill up your body. You don’t even let him get another word out before you raise your hand and slap him. The feeling caused his face to sting, his face turned to the side from the impact. He lets out a slow breath and nods to himself; he knew he deserved it. 

“Fuck you, Morales.”

And with those harsh words spat, you get up and walk away from him. Juno and Miles both watch as you leave before Juno looks over at him, shaking her head and letting out a sigh.

“You fucked up man.”

“No, really? Thanks for the news flash, sherlock.”

“Don’t get smart with me, boy.”

Miles glares at the girl as she gets up and goes after you. God, he was so fucking stupid!

✰

It’s been a week since you last spoke to Miles. You have been avoiding him at school and even went as far as changing seats in the classes you shared with him. You did everything in your power to try and be as far away from him as possible. Miles didn’t seem to let that affect him.

Even if you were far away from him, he would still do his very hardest to talk to you. To explain what happened between him and Venus over the summer. But of course, you didn’t listen. Couldn’t listen to a word he said. It would be nothing but a lie.

Juno was right; men ain’t shit.

It was almost sickening to think that your once loyal and sweet boyfriend would turn out to be a dirty, rotten cheater! And to think it only took one summer for him to change. That was so fucked up man. You hated how easily you had allowed yourself to be betrayed. 

How could someone be so sweet one minute then betray you the first chance they got? It really made no sense to you. 

A knock on your bedroom door was enough to pull yourself from your thoughts. Your head snapped up just as the door opened to reveal Juno, a sheepish smile on her face as she practically jumped on you.

“What are you doin’ here, Jun?”

“I was summoned by your father.”

You let out a snort and roll your eyes, moving over slightly to give her more room to sit on the bed. It was sweet how she wanted to comfort you but you already knew it wasn’t going to work. You were too hurt to ever feel better after just a few visits but you appreciate the effort.

“Should I beat his ass?”

“No.. it’s fine, Jun. I don’t really care, ya know? I already got over it!”

“Mhm. and is that why you’re still avoiding him?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Juno lets out a chuckle and moves closer to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder gently and pulling you closer for a side hug. It was the best thing she could think of doing right now. 

“Ya know.. He’s stupid for doing that to you. He don’t know what he’s missing.”

And that did it. Before you knew it, you had burst out into tears. Juno rubbed the side of your arm gently and allowed you to cry on her shoulder, soaking her shirt with your tears. She knew you probably needed this right now.

“I fuckin’ hate him, Jun.”

“I know, Y/N.”

“I wish I never met him!”

“I know, Y/N”

The two of you stay like that for an hour. Maybe longer. Who knew? It didn’t matter anyway. Juno was too busy trying to comfort you while you bawled your eyes out. It hurt so fucking much. 

All the trust that you had put into Miles was now gone. 

And it was all his fault. 

Seeing him everyday at school hurt worse than any pain imaginable. But at least you had Juno by your side, you knew she would never hurt you. She was your best friend. She was different than him.

You wish you had never fallen in love with Miles Morales.

[literaryavenger]

Hiii, I saw you asked for one-shot suggestions and I was thinking of something domestic and fuffly, a lazy morning with them not wanting to wake up and get up, things like that.

Sorry the request wasn't good, it's the first time I've made suggestions, but I appreciate your work 💕

I wrote this so quickly that I'm surprised my fingers could keep up with my brain, lol. Thank you for the request! I always appreciate some inspiration, and thank you for reading my stories!❤️

Also keep in mind it's like 2:30 am, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, I did my best to catch them all.

Mornings Like This

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Minimal use of YN. Language. Nothing more, just fluff. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 1.4K

Masterlist

One thing Bucky never thought he'd have was a chance at a normal life.

Before even the war, Hydra and everything that followed he didn’t think he’d be lucky enough to find a girl that loved him enough to build a life with him.

Now in the 21st century, the super soldier felt more out of place than ever.

Going from one fight after the other was exhausting, even if he was fighting with the people he came to think of as family, Tony included.

It still didn’t change the fact that he was tired, the kind of tired sleep can’t fix.

That’s why, right now, he can’t help but be grateful as he wakes up with you in his arms.

For Bucky, you’re everything. You’re his best friend, his most trusted teammate, you’re his hope, his dream, his angel sent by God himself.

You’re the person he trusts with every part of himself, he knows you’d never judge him, you always believe in him and you’re not afraid to call him out.

He can always trust you to be honest.

You’re the love of his life, his future. You’re the calm he’s been looking for his whole life. He still considers the day he met you the happiest of his life, and there’s not a day that goes by where he doesn’t remind you all of this.

Bucky opens his eyes slowly, still fighting to sleep a little longer, but as soon as he sees your face inches away from his he knows it's a losing fight.

He can’t help but smile as he watches your face in the most relaxed state, trying to commit every inch of it to memory just like he does every morning.

Today is one of those rare days where neither of you have anything to do; no training, no missions, no briefings, no outings.

A normal day where you can just be lazy like normal people do. Bucky lives for days like these, starting with one of his favorite activities: shamelessly staring at you.

"Are you watching me sleep, you little creep?" you say, not opening your eyes with a smile starting to form on your face.

"You bet your ass I am." He says proudly.

"Careful or I’ll tell Steve you used a bad word." At the sound of his laugh you can't help but open your eyes and the sight in front of you was nothing short of glorious.

Your super soldier boyfriend, shirtless, with a smile that could light up all of the stars in the sky looking at you like you hung up those stars just for him.

At this point you’ve woken up next to him more times than you can count, hundreds, maybe thousands, but this sight right in front of you never fails to knock the breath out of your lungs.

"Who’s the little creep staring now, huh?" he teases with a goofy grin.

"Can you blame me when my boyfriend is so pretty?" you see his cheeks getting pink and decide to tease him a little bit more.

"Awwe, my pretty baby’s blushing!" he groans as his face gets redder and he hides his face in the crook of your neck, while you keep cooing at him.

"Stooop." he says, his voice muffled. You’re laughing when suddenly he’s on top of you, tickling your sides.

"Say you’re sorry!" he says over and over while laughing, never relenting on his vicious attack.

"Never!" you're practically squealing at this point, tears coming down your eyes because of how much you're laughing.

"I can do this all day, doll!" and you know he could, so you finally give in.

"I’m sorry, I’m sorry, okay, just stop!" that seems to satisfy him as he stops tickling you but doesn't move away from on top of you.

Instead he starts peppering kisses all over your face, barely giving you enough time to catch your breath. "Bucky!" you can do nothing more than laugh, and the melodic sound is just an incentive for him to keep going.

Finally he starts slowing down, giving you one last kiss on the lips. But before he could pull away, you wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you and deepening the kiss. He hummed into the kiss and after a few moments you let go of each other.

"Good morning, angel." he says while looking down at you with the sweetest smile.

"Good morning, handsome." you answer with a smile matching his.

He rolls off of you, but doesn't go very far as he pulls you basically on top of him and wraps his arms tightly around you. "Buck, I can barely breathe."

He shrugs. "You don’t need to breathe."

"Trust me, I do." you giggle while he loosen his hold on you. You feel him sight under you, so you raise your head to look him in the eye "Everything okay, baby?"

His eyes meet yours as he answers "Everything’s perfect, bunny. I wish we could stay like this forever…"

You can't help but smile at him. "Me too, honey…" but your smile falters a little when you glance at the clock on the bedside table.

"I hate to ruin the moment, but I have to get up." you try to get out of his arms, but he just holds onto you tighter, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Where are you going?" He gives you an adorable pout and you almost give up on your attempts to get up, not that they were going anywhere in any case. 

"I might’ve told Tony I’d help him test his new gadgets." you say with a sheepish smile.

"C’mon sweets, you can do that any day, just stay here with me a little longer." he almost whines, shuffling a little so you're on your sides and he buries his face in your neck, yet again.

"Buck, I promised him! I can’t just not show up." you chuckle at his almost childish behavior, glad that he feels comfortable enough around you to act like this.

"There’s no way I’m gonna let you get up to go test Tony’s death traps." His muffled words only make you laugh more.

"And what are you gonna do to keep me here, huh?" you challenge, as if you had any other choice with his tight grip on you.

He took his head away from your neck and looked at you for a few seconds before almost yelling "Hey Friday, can you let Tony know that miss YLN won’t be joining him today? Thank you." he has a victorious look on his face while the AI said "Certainly, Sergeant Barnes."

You groan and this time it's your turn to bury your face in his chest. "I knew teaching you to use Friday would come back to bite me in the ass." you can feel his laughter from deep in his chest and the kiss he plants on the top of your head makes you smile against his skin. 

"C’mon angel, let me see your pretty face." you can feel your face heating up but you look at him nonetheless. "There she is."

Bucky kisses the tip of your nose and laughs when you make a face at him that's supposed to be annoyed but he thinks it's just adorable.

"I love you, doll" He says after a few moments of silence. "I know I tell you everyday, but I can’t help it. I’m the luckiest man in the world to get to hold you and kiss you and love you and I’ll never stop doing it for as long as you allow me to."

You're about to cry, so, obviously, you have to ruin the moment "Fine! I’ll stay in bed with you, just stop being so damn sweet." he laughs at your joke, but you're melting inside so you decide to give him a serious answer.

You put both your hands on his cheeks and kiss him. "I love you too, Bucky. I appreciate everything you do for me and I’ll never not want you in my life. You’re the love of my life, my soulmate. You’re it for me. I’m sorry but you’re stuck with me."

He smiles and kisses you again. "I can live with that."

You're about to kiss him again when suddenly there's a loud knock at the door. You and Bucky look at each other, confused, until you hear a voice yelling behind the door.

"YN YLN WHAT DOES IT MEAN YOU’RE NOT GONNA HELP ME?! YOU PROMISED!" Tony keeps whining through the door as Bucky groans and throws his head back into the pillow in frustration, while you laugh at both the men’s antics.

You give Bucky a quick kiss before getting up. "This is your fault, you know." you tell him as you move towards the door, but before you can answer you get hit by a pillow on your back.

You look back to see Bucky laughing his ass off at the shocked look on your face.

God, he’s lucky you love him.

[loveandmurders]

Hi! So I absolutely love and adore your sister AU fics for the Sinclair brothers and I’m just wondering if you’d ever do a similar thing with Brahms maybe? I’ve just had these thoughts about what if Brahms had a twin or younger sister who he loved because she was like his only true friend but then after what he did to Emily Cribbs, your parents had you sent away out of concern for your safety either before or after the fire. Maybe you have burn scars that aren’t as severe, or maybe you got away unscathed. But you somehow ended up coming back to the manor many years later (you’re on vacation, you get lost and/or your car breaks down, you get dared to enter the “haunted house” locals are wary of, idk) and at some point Brahms recognizes you and doesn’t want you to leave. He wants— no, he needs you to remember him. He lost you once, and he can’t let it happen again. Your parents and Greta are gone by this point, and he’s been so lonely. Of course weird ghost things happen that conveniently keep you confined to the house (The old doors get stuck and lock you in certain rooms, severe rainstorm/power goes out, idk) and other weird events make you think the place is haunted. Maybe you also have a porcelain doll in your likeness like he does and he tries to gift it to you without showing himself but it unnerves you. Maybe you find old pictures of yourself as a child but don’t recognize them as you until you read your name that’s written on the back. Just an idea, I know you probably have tons of requests to get through so no worries I just thought it could make for a very cool AU since your Sinclair AUs are so incredible and some of my favorite work 💜

Hello love and thank you for your kinds words and for this very cool idea!!!

I had a lot of fun writing for this (wrote two parts for it so far), so I hope you'll enjoy it as well &lt;3

THE PAST HAUNTS ME - PART I (sister!reader x Brahms Heelshire)

Warnings: no proof reading, angst, nightmare/mansion burning down on Brahms, amnesia, mentions of death in a car crash, mentions of killing and violence, mentions of small past injuries and blood.

You woke up, with a strangled scream stuck in your throat, covered in sweats and madly shivering. 

You had this nightmare again. 

It felt like you couldn’t escape it since you were a child. You didn’t remember much of your past, but you perfectly remembered that, as far as your memory was going, there was this nightmare haunting you. You dreamt of a little boy who was screaming your name while a big mansion was burning down. His voice was coming from the mansion and you wanted to run in to help him out, but two adults were holding you back. You were screaming so much, you thought you were going to break your vocal cords. You were absolutely terrified and panicked and concerned, tears freely cascading down your face. You seemed to know who this little boy was. You seemed to care very much about him as well. Sometimes, you even screamed his name when you were waking up from the nightmare. 

Brahms. 

You always opened your eyes when the mansion was collapsing down on him.

You talked a lot about this dream to your adoptive parents and to the doctors you consulted as a child. You had always wondered if those images were actually coming from your past. Because of a very traumatic event, you lost your memory of when you were younger than 9 years old. It was as if your story was starting when you got adopted by your foster family. Because of your amnesia, your parents went to see a lot of doctors and therapists to make sure that you were doing alright. However, at the same time, your new family never wanted to talk about it directly with you, and they always said it was just a nightmare and that you shouldn’t worry about it too much. 

They wanted to be certain you were in good physical and mental health, without having to talk about what they knew about you. They always said that they had no idea who your real parents could be, and you had always wanted to believe them because they were good to you. They treated you well, and they dearly loved you like their own daughter.

Despite your amnesia, you were happy to have a family and you hoped that everything was going to be alright. You grew up to turn into a young woman who was often questioning herself, but who was also afraid of what could await for her if she ever found out the answers to her questions.

When your adoptive parents died in a car crash, you thought you were going to lose it. You never cried that much in your whole existence, and felt so alone. You had no idea what to do at first. You weren’t sure to be ready to carry such a burden on your shoulders and on your own.

And yet, you decided to be strong and you focused on taking care of their funeral and then of their belongings that were now yours. They had a lot of kids but you were the only one they adopted, which was a little bit strange to you. But you didn’t really think about it: you were broken. You lost your second family as well. You felt like you were cursed; it was the only explanation on why everything and everyone was always leaving you. This idea was haunting you as much as the nightmare now; you needed to stay busy to forget about it.

As you were going through their documents, you found a very odd contract. They seemed to receive a lot of money every month in exchange for adopting you and making sure you would never remember what happened. There was an address on the contract and names. Mrs and Mr Heelshire. At first, you didn’t believe this was true. So you checked their bank account, but you realised that they indeed received the money every month from the Heelshires. It would explain why your adoptive parents never wanted to talk about your past; however it didn’t explain why everyone wanted you to stay in the dark. It made you feel sick and you left the contract on a table, while you left the room, trying to digest this crazy news before doing anything about it.

And now that you woke up from your nightmare, all you could think about was finding this burnt mansion. It had to be a memory. Or at least, a part of it even if your mind might have twisted it. It had to be the traumatic event that made you forget about everything.

You needed to know the truth about who you were… About who was Brahms too because he seemed important to you. Now that you lost your adoptive family, you had the even stronger urge to find out your past. You felt ready too. You were an adult, you could handle whatever you were going to find in this mansion. You just hoped you would be able to find it and that it didn’t fully burn.

Even though it was still the middle of the night, you dressed up, took some food with you and clothes, and left. You couldn’t stand to stay around now your parents were dead, so this little adventure was more than welcomed. You started to think about the contract while you were driving. You could only assume that the Heelshires were your biological parents (otherwise, why would they know you and why would they pay for people to care for you?). You couldn’t understand why your real family would have wanted you away from them though and why they would have paid for it. Was it because you did something? Was it because of the little boy who was screaming your name in the fire? Was it because he died?

You realised how far away from where you were the address was, but it was alright. Everything was going to be alright. After a little while, you actually found yourself relaxing and your mind was quietening down.

You made some little stops on the road, sleeping in cheap motels before resuming your journey. But at some point, you finally arrived in front of the big mansion. It seemed empty and you were disappointed. It was in the middle of nowhere too, but it was so beautiful. It was the same one as in your nightmare; except that it wasn’t burning down. You thought the place had to be rebuilt after the fire, because it didn’t seem damaged at all. You wondered if the Heelshires still lived there or if they sometimes came back. You were looking at it from your car, in the middle of the road. 

A car, on the other way, came by and stopped next to you. The man lowered down his window.

“Got lost?” he asked, he seemed quite friendly. You shook your head.

“I was looking for this house. Do you know if anyone still lives here?” you asked

“No one since a while… You aren’t from here, are you?” he asked

“No indeed. Why?”

“Well there are a lot of stories about this place. Last time someone was in there, she said a man who was living in the walls tried to kill her. Cops never found anyone but there was blood and dead bodies in the entrance. The owners killed themselves too” he explained “If I was you I wouldn’t stay around or try to get inside. Some teens disappeared after some stupid dares. And even if cops can’t find shit…” he explained to you and you were positively horrified

“Thank you” you smiled “You seemed to be used of strangers wanting to get in there?” you asked, out of curiosity. He shrugged.

“Can’t explain it, but this mansion is fascinating. Can’t blame people for wanting to explore it to be honest… But it’s not safe. I don’t know how you heard about this place, but trust me, there is nothing for you in there.” he answered and plunged his eyes inside of yours. 

You thanked him again and faked leaving. You waited for the man to disappear before parking nearby the house. Even if his stories made you shiver in fear, you still needed to get inside the mansion. You didn’t know if the owners were the Heelshires or not, but you hoped they weren’t. You had so many questions to ask them. You couldn’t have done all this road for nothing. And you couldn’t be so close to knowing more about yourself and turning back now. You had to have a quick look around the mansion. You weren’t going to touch anything, you were just trying to remember. And then you were going to leave before the crazy killer ghost attacked you. It seemed like a fair plan to you. You took a little knife pocket with you, just in case though.

You discreetly found a way in the property and quickly climbed the stairs towards the entrance. You knocked at the door, just to make sure no one was home. You waited a little while before trying to open it. It was unlocked and you thanked your luck before getting inside.

“Hello?” you called out and your voice resonated in the emptiness of the place. You shivered before sneezing at all the dust flying around. It really looked like the place was deserted. “I don’t know if someone’s here, but I’m not here to rob or do anything bad… I’m just looking for my past. If it’s okay with you, I’ll have a look around and then I’ll go. So please, don’t hurt me” you said. You really thought you were insane, but maybe it would keep the killer away from you. And being polite, even to ghosts (especially to ghosts?), never hurt anyone. You could at least believe it.

You waited a little longer, trying to hear anything, before starting to have a look around when only silence answered your call.

Brahms also woke up from a nightmare the morning you arrived at the mansion. It was always the same as well: his parents were sending you away because he killed a little girl of his age, and full of rage he burnt the mansion down while screaming your name because he couldn’t stand the idea of being apart from you. You were the only thing he ever loved, and your parents were worried he would corrupt the light your eyes always used to hold. He couldn’t explain to them that he would never hurt you in any way. You were his twin sister, you were his best friend, you were his sun. And he could only burn the whole world down if you weren’t there to appease his violence.

It was what actually happened.

And he woke up with the same sadness and anger burning him even worse than the fire did. The physical pain he felt and that his skin still remembered sometimes, was nothing compared to the pain of knowing he had lost you. He missed his baby twin sister so badly. You were what he loved the most in his life. When you were both children, he couldn't stand to be away from you, even though you were of a more independent nature. He killed Emily Crabs because she liked to say things about you. She was saying you were ugly and stupid, and that Brahms deserved a better sister. She was just fooling around, trying to annoy the boy. She couldn't know his love for his sister was so strong, and that he was ready to destroy everything and everyone for her. He killed Emily and your parents understood what happened when they found him covered in blood. They found the body too after they made Brahms talk. They did their best for you to never know about this, and Brahms was eager to keep it a secret from you too. But he hadn’t thought they would decide to keep you away to protect you from him; he was your big brother, he was the one supposed to protect you. Your parents discovered how obsessive he seemed to be and they couldn’t let you be his obsession. 

They hadn’t thought he would go that insane once you would be away. And you hadn’t understood what was happening. You fainted from the panic when you saw the mansion burning down. After that, everything went dark and your parents were grateful for that. It was better that way, so you wouldn’t try to come back home.

Brahms was certain he lost you because you never came back. Since you were forced to leave his life, he could only sleep with a little porcelain doll looking like you when you were a child. Your parents always used this doll as leverage to make him obey when he was being uncontrollable once again. As he grew up and became strong, they worried it would stop working, but it was the only thing that kept him a little bit sane. And even when your parents were still alive, the doll was the only thing he talked to. He was whispering sweet little things to it, because he couldn’t do it with you anymore. He didn’t care about Greta, he just wished he would have killed her like he did with the other “nannies”. And now his parents were gone, he was left alone with his thoughts. He hated it. He hoped some stupid people would come inside the mansion, so he could lurk around before slaughtering them. It was the only thing that was making him almost happy. It was the only thing that made him forget about you, even just a few hours.

He instantly heard your voice echoing around and he quickly got up. He didn’t know who it was, but he knew he was going to play around. He was glad the devil heard his prayers. He didn’t understand what you meant about “your past” though. He wasn’t caring too much; he was just excited to have a new toy around.

He found you and he started to watch you from a hole inside the walls. He thought you were pretty and he appreciated how you truly didn’t touch anything, even if it wasn’t going to change much of your fate… He might give you a quick death if you kept being good. 

He watched you stopping in front of the family pictures laying around in the living room, and tilted his head to the side as you seemed to frown and to internally question yourself. As you leaned closer to the picture, your cardigan fell from one of your shoulders. There was a scar on it, that you did by falling off a tree as you were playing with your brother. You had fallen on a stone that cut deep into your skin. Brahms perfectly remembered how worried he had felt when it seemed like you weren’t going to stop bleeding. After this, Brahms had always kept you under his watch and more importantly he had kissed your injured skin every night before tugging you to bed. So when he saw it, he recognised it right away. He also started to recognise the way you were putting a piece of loose strand of hair behind your ear, and how you were nibbling on your lips in thoughts, and when you turned around, he clearly saw your eyes and your face. He was certain it was you. He wondered if it was all a dream. He wouldn’t survive if he realised it wasn’t reality. He needed you to be real so badly.

He understood why you were here; you were looking for your family. For him. He was so excited. You were back home. You were finally back where you should be.

And he would never let you go ever again.

PART II

[ourfatherwhoartinhell]

A Dark Redemption // [EPILOGUE]

Prompt | "Mountain being found by Ivy in the woods, not summoned"

Word count | 562

⚠️ Warnings | Mountain is kind of a spooky bitch at first, very possible OOC Ivy, story has a bit of a horror vibe.

Plot Summary: Livestock have been going missing from the back pasture, Siblings have been telling stories of a 'demon' in the woods. Terzo sends Ivy to investigate, only for the ghoul to find the woodland creature and give him a chance at redemption.

A/N: Just a short little extra bit to wrap things up! Thank you so much for reading this far!! 🖤 xo Emery

[Prev]

Mountain quickly found that he really enjoyed the company of the Clergy. He enjoyed sitting in on band practice too, watching the other ghouls have fun while still being of service.

Once he felt more comfortable around the Sisters, he would often be found helping with the gardening and giving tips on soil additives. They were a little taken aback when they first saw him eat dirt, saying it was the only way to figure out which nutrients were lacking, but they accepted him just the same. The gardens have never looked healthier!

Mountain had recently begun practicing drums with Ivy. Quickly learning the beats and enjoying the way the drums vibrated through his bones. It reminded him of his old way of speaking and brought him comfort. It was also unexpectedly difficult, and he was often very sweaty after practice. To him, the endless hours of rehearsing was his way of showing Papa that he was grateful for taking him in that day.

He would never let him down again.

He also kept up his habit of reading. Mountain didn’t speak very often, still not confident in his English abilities, so reading kept the words fresh. In the summer, he would host a book club outside where he would read stories to the kits and children. It was a huge hit.

When Ivy got sent back to the Pit, it was devastating for the large ghoul. He still felt as though he had a lot to learn before stepping into his friend's shoes. However, the rest of his pack and Papa were all very supportive and gave him the confidence to play his very first show.

Ivy had left a note for him in his room before he left, titled ‘Welcome to the Band’.

When Mountain returned to his room, he almost forgot about it until the wind blew it off the table as he shut the door. Utterly exhausted, he bent down to retrieve the letter. What was waiting for him inside made him melt.

‘You did it! I couldn’t be more proud! I know Copia is a little weird, but you’ll grow to love him. I assume you’ll have some new packmates too, they’ll be relying on you now. Teach them well, and be patient. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to celebrate, but I left you a little something under the bed.”

Mountain’s brow furrowed. Setting the letter down on the bed, he knelt to look where Ivy had directed him. Not seeing anything at first, he thought it might have been a joke. However, in the corner was a small basket. Pulling it out from under the bed, Mountain couldn’t help but smile as he looked down at the little mice.

‘I’ve taught you all I could, it’s your turn to make the most of the time you have. Be kind, be compassionate, and be the helpful ghoul I always knew you were. I want to hear some epic stories when I see you again. I’ll be waiting. - Ivy.”

Mountain flinched as a warm tear hit his cheek. He was really going to miss his brother, but now he had a new purpose. Long gone was the demonic creature who lurked in the night. He was going to make sure those who sought sanctuary within the Ministry's walls always felt safe, helped and protected. A reflection of what Ivy and Terzo did for him.

[Prev]

[voxmortuus]

Hi! It’s me the anon requesting for the dark fic about Alexander.. and honestly, write whatever makes you inspired about haha it’s up to you. He played a character in the stand as Randall Flagg so maybe something with that character?! Thank you 😍

⇘ PAIRING:⇙ Randall Flagg x F!Reader ⇘ UNIVERSE:⇙ The Stand ⇘ WORD COUNT:⇙ 4.5k ⇘ SUMMARY:⇙ All your life you've been seeing this man with a smiley faced pin in your dreams, well the end has come, and you're left with a choice. Tired, hungry, thirsty, and alone, you decide to take the kindness of one Randall Flagg under the impression that it's what you wanted. Agreeing to stay things quickly take a turn for the worst and you are forced to become his incubator. ⇘ TRIGGER WARNINGS:⇙ None of these trigger warnings are in order, so just read them and remember then as you read this. DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT | Talk of Murder | Manipulation | Persuading for reader to keep drinking | Sexual coercion and Rape | Slapping both reader and reader slapping him | Spitting | Fighting Reader | Unprotected PiV | Choking Reader | Slamming Reader against glass window & floor | Hinted that reader has a violent past | Reader's face gets held down by boot | Abuse to Reader | Threatening Reader's life | Threatening Reader w/knife | Stabbing Reader | Blood & Blood Play | Captive Reader | Reader gets chained to bed | Reader is forced into breeding | Forced Impregnation | Forced groping | Forced inebriation | Forced Threesome | Unknowing drugging of reader | PLEASE TELL ME IF I FORGOT ANYTHING!!! I want to make sure readers are fully aware of what they are getting themselves into when they read this… ⇘ NOTES:⇙ I hope this brings you some joy. Also I'm sorry if this is just horribly written. ⇘ DIVIDER CREDIT:⇙ @nyxvuxoa ⇘ IN STORY DIVIDER:⇙ @voxmortuus ⇘ IMAGE CREDIT:⇙ @punksimulationn ⇘ TAGGING:⇙ @lenareallylovestoread ⇘ My Master Masterlist ⇙

It was a long walk from Winthrop, WA. Not to mention utterly trying, at this point, you were no stranger to death, let alone having to protect yourself. This outbreak made people go bananas. From people wanting to kill you, rape you, likely wanting to eat you, to those trying to tell you to seek out Mother Abigail, and those telling you to seek out Randall, you couldn't tell what was up who was down, and where was up. This outbreak has sent people into this pit of what? Craziness. Destruction. There were times when it wasn't so bad. Peaceful even. No cars speeding, no one screaming, no violence, just you, and nature.

After walking for almost three weeks, you're exhausted, damn near the point of tears, you're hungry and thirsty, and your body aches in places you didn't know could ache. There's this part of you that just wants to quit. But then you remember the dreams, that yellow smiley face pin, the blonde man that wanted to give you a bed to sleep in, a tall glass of ice water. He was kind to you, all he wanted you to do was to find him. Something about you being special. But why were you special? You were just some girl living in Winthrop, Washington... what made you so special that this mysterious man has been watching you. But the more you sit there, the more you think, the more you realize he's been watching you for a long time. Since you were a little girl. You remember the pin. His denim outfit, and the sound of his boots.

Wiping your face from the tears you look around, seeing more signs telling you who to follow and how far to go. Sniffling a moment you try to contain yourself, telling yourself once you find this man, you'll get your tall glass of water, you'll get your bed, and a shower. You just need to find him. You'll know it's him because you'll know that pin, you'll know that smile, that voice. And if he touches you, you'll know that too. Just have to go a little farther. Looking around you choose to take the well-traveled path. At least at this moment, you know it's bound to lead you somewhere. Especially out in the desert.

After a lot of self-motivation to not give up and to keep walking, you find yourself standing there on the border of walking into this ivory building so to speak, or to turn around and find yourself someplace else, was this where you needed to be? Probably not, but you know what, maybe it was too late to turn back, after all, you came all this way. Looking down at your feet, you were tired, worn out, thirsty, and hungry, and you just wanted a place to rest your feet, even for the night. Maybe this will be all right, right? Letting out a heavy breath, you cross into the location; it was like night and day. Looking around you felt like maybe you had made a major mistake being here.

Letting out a heavy breath you close your eyes for a brief moment and then a voice jolted you.

"What are you doing here?" They asked.

Looking over, you lick your lips. "I umm... I'm just passing through." You state, but the look they were giving you, that answer wasn't good enough.

"Leave her alone." a voice, a familiar voice, boomed out of nowhere, you know this voice, you've heard this voice, you've seen who this voice belongs to.

The person slowly backs away and you watch this man approaching you, dressed in denim with a bright yellow smiley-faced pin attached to his jacket you look him over, rubbing your eyes a moment you shake your head, he couldn't be the same one, it couldn't be, it really couldn't be. He was handsome, but his aura didn't read so handsome, not this time. Your heart pounded in your chest. Licking your lips, you were so thirsty. You look over him as he approaches you.

"You've come to the right place, I've been expecting you. Come with me, I can only imagine how thirsty you are." He states as he escorts you a little further.

"Oh, oh no, I don't want to Impose." You state stopping in your tracks and looking over everything, and look back at him, "You've been waiting for me?"

"Darlin' you've come this far, this must be where you want to be." He smiles a charming smile. "You can't tell me that you don't want a nice cold glass of water?" He asked. Looking over you, he licks his lips. "Don't you remember?"

Water did sound appealing but you don't quite answer. "I'd remember that pin anywhere." You stated looking at it. It gave you a small sense of happiness, maybe even a little bit of hope. You reach out to touch it.

"Or maybe something to eat, here, you'll never go without. Doesn't that sound good? A bed to sleep in? Food to eat, all you can drink, a place to rest your feet, a place where you matter?" He stops and looks down as you reach out and touch the pin. "You like that, don't you?" He asked with a small smile.

That did sound good, then you look over him and tilt your head. "I do... I really do." You say softly with a small smile before you scoff at yourself, shake your head, and drop your finger from touching the pin.

"You can't tell me that doesn't sound good. This is right where you want to be, you ain't gonna find that anyplace else." He stated with that charming grin. He holds out his hand. "Join me." He smiles again.

Chewing on the corner of your lip you look him over. With some hesitation, you reach forward and place your hand in his.

"Thatta girl." He mused as he takes your hand and kisses it before he takes you toward the large building.

As you walk a little further into the building, you see the debauchery, the craziness of it all, people doing as they pleased, no consequences, at least not that you saw. You were curious admittingly so, but you were still slightly unsure. He was going to have to win you, though, so far he was doing a good job, you were taken by his charm, his calm aura, and the smoothness of his voice. He knew what to say to rope you in, and it wasn't going to be the last time.

As he brings you toward the elevator you look out and down on everyone, your eyes go wide.

"How many were just passing through and chose to stay? Do you know each one of them?" you asked as your gaze keeps on the people below.

He chuckles. "Not all are as lucky as you. I have no idea, probably some more than others, but they are all here for a reason. Just like you." He stated.

He knew things others didn't know, things you've kept secret, he knew of those bad things you've done, and he knew you weren't just passing through. You were no better than the others below, but he has plans for you, plans that are not quite what you're expecting them to be.

Once the elevator reaches the top floor he guides you into his suite. Your jaw clenches as you take in a deep breath. Your body trembled a moment but you felt this soft relaxed feeling wash over you. He lets out a soft chuckle as he looks back at you as you stop and look around a moment before you are beckoned. You just want to take it all in but that was cut somewhat short. As he starts walking down the hall, others stop and stare, muttering to each other. Your brow furrowed a bit, and look down as you start walking closer to a set of double doors. As the doors open you follow him in and you look over your shoulder as you watch the others standing there staring at you and vanish upon the door closing.

You didn't understand why people were staring at you, watching you, even muttering and speaking about you. Why were they so in awe by the fact that the man in your dreams was talking to you and bringing you up to his living space? You had no idea. Biting your lip you let out a soft breath and look down at your feet as you trail behind the tall man dressed in denim. Left, right, left, right, it's like you had to mentally tell yourself to walk forward. Your jaw clenches at yourself, frustrated you had to think about such a mundane task as walking.

"Why were the people staring at me back there? It's like they've never seen you with another person before." You ask, likely chuckling, trying to find it amusing, but truthfully you're too tired to really even care.

"Because you're special, and they don't get to see special all that often."

"Why am I special?" you ask.

"Because you're with me." He smirked.

Getting to someplace for you to sit you look around before taking a seat, you look up at him and your brow furrowed trying to understand what made him so damn special and why was he in your dreams? Maybe it was the fact that you had those prosthetic dreams people talk about. That bit of internal hope of that being it is what fueled you into thinking that maybe you are here for a reason. You sit there and look up over this man for a moment and you try to observe his actions, when he sits, he sits with this calming aura.

Licking your lips you look down at your hands for a moment and think. "Thank you, for giving me a place, even for the night." You state.

"You'll want to stay, trust me." He smirked with a small wink.

"We'll see... I told you, I'm just passing through." You state softly.

He tilts his head and looks over you, he can see with you, it was going to take a little more effort than offering you the world. But that's okay, he wasn't in too much of a rush. Licking his lips he chuckled.

"Of course. Well, at least for tonight, you should rest up, eat something, and maybe think about staying. I could always use a good right hand." He smirked again.

Thinking about him your jaw twitches a moment before you let out a slow breath and nod. "Yeah, I'll think about it." You state looking down a moment as someone came up and offered you a glass of ice-cold water, thanking them and look back toward Randall and search his face.

"What is your name?" You ask.

"Randall." He stated.

"Randall..." you say softly. "You didn't ask me mine."

"I don't need to ask you yours. I know your name. But you're exhausted, have your water, something to eat, and you can find your room right down the hall with your name on a piece of paper hanging on the door." He stated.

Watching him he gets up and makes his way over to the large windows. You could tell he was thinking, or at least that's what you're going to tell yourself. You don't actually know if he is or isn't. But you'd like to assume so.

Smelling the food your head darts in the direction and you smile. It's exactly what you were craving. A delicious hot sandwich with curly fries and a cheese dip sauce. You take a bite and groan in pure satisfaction. Truthfully, as well-mannered as you wanted to be, you scarfed that sandwich down and you kind of hid behind a curtain of dust-filled hair and you let out a soft breath.

You went to speak, to thank him, but he was gone, your brow furrows, and you head to the room you were told was yours, taking the paper from the door you look around, people still staring at you you furrow your brow and walk into the room. Upon walking in you look around, wasting no time, you strip down and take a nice cool shower. Much needed to say the least.

It had been a few days, you had agreed to stay, to give it a chance, and Randall was thrilled to hear it, today was a day you got to spend with Randall, got to see the masses below doing god knows what. Today wasn't just any ordinary day, today you got to oversee a trial, a trial that had damned a man to death. A traitor. You were still trying to understand why he wanted you to see this. But it's because this man knew that you were no stranger to death.

"So, did they kill him?" He asked.

"Yes, they did. Was quite brutal." You stated.

"You're no stranger to that now, are you?" He asked again, looking over your face.

Your brow furrowed and you licked your lips remembering all those years ago. You clear your throat and look up. "I think I'll see myself out now." You state.

"Oh come on, do you really want to do that? You were enjoying your time here. You have everything you ever wanted handed to you. You don't need to want for anything, do you? I can give you so much more." He stated as he walked to you and pulled you close to him.

Your heart started to pound. "I really should go." You state softly.

Tilting your head up he looks into your eyes and shakes his head. "No, you really don't, and you know you don't. You chose to come here. You chose to stay here. This is where you want to be." He stated.

Was he right? He must be. You did choose to stay for the past few days. You did come here on your own accord. He really didn't force you to stay, that was a choice you made. Licking your lips you let out a soft breath and look over him a moment before moving away from him to look out the window. After letting you have a moment, it gave him time to make you a drink.

"Here, drink this, it'll calm your nerves." He stated as he handed you a glass, little did you know that the glass was actually a harsh liquor with some roofie mixed in.

"Thanks." You state as you take the drink and take a sip from it before coughing a moment and looking at him. "What is this?" You ask.

"Just drink it, I promise you'll feel better after." He smiled.

This man hadn't done you wrong yet so may as well right? You sigh a soft sigh and agree to drink the liquor. What he said made sense, and truthfully. Little did you quite realize the subtle manipulation, making it seem it was all your thoughts, that you were the one with the thoughts. Licking your lips you take a sip from the harsh drink and let out a soft breath as it was rough going down. After another sip, you look over at Randall and lick your lips a moment.

"Do you think you could add maybe some sort of fruit flavor to this? It's a bit harsh." You state, not wanting to sound ungrateful.

Though he didn't think of you as ungrateful, he simply chuckled and took the drink, and handed it back to you. "Here, Darlin'. Make sure you drink all of it. No drop left behind." He chuckled.

"Thanks." You state letting out another soft breath you lick at your lips and take a sip.

This fixed drink was much better. So drinking it was like drinking liquid candy. He didn't even ask you instead he started to refill your glass. He hands you the refreshed glass and your brow furrows a moment and you look over at him.

"Drink up, you enjoy that." He smiled.

He wasn't wrong, you brought the glass to your lips and you look over his face before looking down at all the people below. After the first drink, this one was sweeter than the last, maybe it was because he used less liquor, it was good, so it went down easier, and quicker, only for him to bring you a refilled glass. You look over his face and you tilt your head.

"Another?" you ask.

"You didn't finish your other one, take a drink."

You look at him. You could have sworn you finished your last drink. You make a small face and you look at him. "I finished my last one. I know I did."

"No, no you didn't. Here. You had two sips off the last one, take this, finish it, then I'll get you something to eat." He stated.

Taking the drink from him you clench your jaw and thank him again, and you start to slowly drink it before you realize that you're starting to feel a little dizzy. You move to take a seat but he keeps you standing up. He stands behind you and places his hands on either side of your hips. You try to move away from him, you didn't want the touch. You start to feel uncomfortable. You turn and hand him your drink.

"I should go." You state.

"No, finish your drink." He states as he doesn't move from you.

"No, I should go back to my room." You state honestly.

"I insist... finish your drink." He states.

Feeling dizzy you look at him and rub your face. You clench your jaw and shake your head. You set your drink on a nearby table and try to walk away but he grabs you and pulls you back.

"You're not going anywhere." He states firmly.

"Ye-yesIam." You state with a stumble.

He was starting to get irritated with you, he firmly grabs your arm and yanks you back. You growl and spit at him. "Let me the fuck go."

"You're not fucking going anywhere." He states wiping the spit from his face.

You begin to shove him but he shoves you against the glass window, instead of letting you fall he grips your arm and looks over your face before he snarls.

"You're staying right here." He growls.

Letting out a slight whimper you bring your hand to your head and attempt to slap at him to shove, stomp on his foot anything you can do to get away. He grabs you and he drags you to the bed and tosses you on it. You start to panic, but you are having a hard time pulling yourself together. You start to kick as you feel him climbing toward you. You have no idea what happened between the drink and now for him to do this. What did you say? What did you do? You are hitting pure panic mode.

"FUCK YOU!" You scream as you get off the bed and are beginning to crawl away.

Licking his lips he looks down at you, rolling up his sleeves of his denim shirt after tossing his jacket to the side he walks to you and pulls your leg toward him, and flips you over. You attempt to escape again but he takes his boot and presses it against the side of your face forcing your face against the side of the floor. You attempt to fight and call for help, but there wasn't anyone coming to get you, they all knew better than to walk into this room without his direction.

"LET ME GO!" You fight but it was getting more and more difficult to keep yourself awake.

"I'm not letting you go." He stated as he kept his foot against your head.

"Why are you doing this? What did I do?" You ask.

"You're chosen... you can handle this. Stop fighting." He notes your breathing as it started to slow.

Waking up you feel groggy, sore, and chained to a fucking bed?! You move your hands over yourself and find yourself completely nude, feeling between your legs you feel where he's used you. You snarl and you go to stand up and move but you are quickly brought back to the bed. Reaching up you find that you're collared and chained to the bed like some sort of animal.

"What the fuck?!" You yell.

He walks around the corner and smirks. "Oh, you're awake. Good."

"What the fuck!" You snap. "Did you..." You reach between your legs. "Was this you?!" You snap.

He chuckles. "Oh yeah, and you screamed and moaned like you were absolutely enjoying it more than the last time you were fucked." He chuckled again.

"How dare you?! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" You slap him across the face.

With a snarl, your face meets the back of his hand. "I fucking own you that's who the fuck I think I am. You enjoyed it. You were begging for more, and I gave you more. You should thank me." He stated.

"Why am I here? Who are you?! Why were you in my dreams?!" You snap.

"You're here because you wanted to be here, you came here on your own, just like how you climbed into my bed on your own. I have it all on video." He states as he pulls out a remote and turns on the TV and rewinds to last night.

Sitting there you watch as you climb into the bed, and start taking off all your clothing, groping yourself, and playing with yourself. You watch him strip down, and begin to have his way with you. You watch as he calls for someone else. You then watch yourself begin to fight. It's clear you're begging, but you're begging for him to stop as the other man comes in and strips down, and both of them are having their way with you. You watch as you fight but they are both restraining you, taking turns filling you.

You're angry, feeling like you're going to be sick. You look at him. "What the actual fuck? Do you think I was begging you to do that? It looked like I was begging you to stop." You state with a small growl.

"Begging is begging." He stated. "And baby, you were begging." He stated with a chuckle and an emphasis on the begging aspect.

Disgusted, you tremble in utter disgust. Clenching your jaw you walk over and throw your fist against his face with all your might before you start slapping him and kicking him. You were angry, furious, feeling used and abused and violated. Rightfully so. You were quickly brought to a halt when he grips your throat, slams you into the floor, and kneels down on top of you straddling your body. You go to try and punch again.

"Hit me again, and I will fucking kill you." He snarled and grabbed his knife from under the bed.

"Then fuckin kill me. I'm far better off dead at this point." You hiss after spitting in his face again.

Taking the blade he stabs it into your side, missing all vital organs and arteries, his goal wasn't to kill you, but to scare you. He snarls. You snarl back and for what? What were you going to do? You couldn't do anything but you start to scream feeling the rush going away, and a foreign object stabbing into you, your eyes go wide and let out another scream before he rips it from you. With your hand, you reach to your wound and feel the blood pouring out of it. You slap it across his face, snarling he jerks you and slams you into the floor again, feeling light-headed from being slammed into the floor you try and find your bearings.

He takes his own hand and brings it to the blood and smears it on your body, the bright red against the contrast of your skin was something he enjoyed very much, it excited him, moving to settle himself between your legs you begin to try and fight him, still woozy, he takes the blood from your side and slides it up your legs, coating your inner things in it before he strips down and looks down at you. Licking his lips he wastes no time shoving his already-stiffened cock into you. You let out a scream and begin to kick and thrash yourself to get away from him but it's not working.

You begin to cry, screaming, pleading for him to stop.

"I don't think so. Take it, enjoy it. You're going to carry my child. The last bitch killed my child, but you'll make a fine incubation chamber for my spawn." He snarled.

You didn't want that, you didn't need that.

"NO! NO! NO! STOP!" You begin to sob. "Please stop."

It's like you lost all your strength, it's like it was drained from you as he thrusts into your wet center with no cares.

Thrust after thrust, the sound of his skin slapping against yours echoed into the room, the stickiness of the blood keeping your legs against him. You just lay there, whimpers of crying, whimpers of being thrust into, but not whimpers of enjoyment, not whimpers of love or desire, but whimpers nonetheless. Your eyes cast to the side as your head turns to face the bottom of the window. You tried to find your happy place as he uses your body you can't find the fight in you anymore, you feel like all you've done is fight. You feel this anger bubbling inside you as you hear him growl and snarl.

He grips you and lifts your hips a bit to get a deeper penetration to deposit his seed... again. Your jaw clenches. Incubator. It's the only word that echoes in your mind.

Standing in the bathroom, bruised, stitched up, poorly mind you. You look over yourself in the mirror, your eyes red and swollen from crying. Your lips cracked and bloodied. You break down in tears, feeling every ounce of pain in your body from the past two days. You had been used, fighting him off, running your hand over your tummy you shake your head.

It all seemed to happen so fast, and you have so much regret in you, you hate all you've done, you hate everything you've done to yourself and those you've hurt. You suddenly feel like you need a priest and a confessional. You sob harder in the bathroom, the only time you have alone and to yourself. You shake your head and looked down at yourself.

"He's not going to be allowed to keep you..." You clench your jaw.

Suddenly there became a bang at the door.

"Do you like living?" He asks.

"Not with you I don't." You snap.

"You should be so lucky I chose you. Women would kill to be in your shoes." He stated.

[kyleraynermybeloved]

Wedding Day

Pairing: Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia x NavySEAL!Reader Summary: Your wedding day arrives and as usual there’s bound to be some playful banter with those you love. Warnings: None, tooth rotting fluff. Word Count: 903 A/N: It's my birthday and I wanted to post this fun little drabble as a gift to y'all! Hope you enjoy! TWAHF Masterlist

To say you were nervous would be a complete understatement. The nerves kept you up much later than you would have liked, keeping you groggy for the better half of the morning.

You were just glad you had Mickey’s mom to help you get prepared. Once you were finished you looked at her through the mirror as she hugged you from behind, smiling with tears in her eyes. “You look breathtaking. Just as kind and beautiful as the shy little girl Mickey had been excited to bring home for the first time.”

Your dress was gorgeous, beyond anything you’ve ever dreamed of with the beautiful necklace she had gifted you in the morning.. It was a family heirloom that’s been passed down for generations, usually to the first married woman of the family. With Mickey being the oldest of two siblings and his younger sister not planning on getting engaged any time soon, it went to you, no matter how much you declined.

A few tears slipped as you hugged her tighter to you. “Thank you so much for everything. I don’t think I’d be where I am now without you or the family, you mean the world to me.”

The remaining hour went by in a flash. The venue was decorated with an assortment of fairy lights, giving it an ethereal glow. You both had invited a handful of people, a few family members and your closest friends, wanting to have a small wedding. Mickey was beaming with joy while trying to contain his crying as you both said your vows, you were no better. His best man and best friend Reuben had subtly handed you both tissues causing your heart to soar as you thought about your now husband having wonderful people in his life that cared deeply for him.

Your first kiss shared as husband and wife had completely swept you off your feet, your friends and family cheered loudly with a few hoots and hollers coming from the back. You were so enraptured by the kiss you didn’t realize Mickey had swept you up and carried you towards the reception area. The group had followed heading to their seats as all the food was being served.

“How are you feeling, Mrs. Garcia?” Mickey beamed at you.

“Absolutely in love, Mr. Garcia.” Winking at him, you leaned over and gave him a peck. It was so easy to get lost in each other. After all, you two had practice since you were five. You had a whole life together and were ready for more, greedily taking what you could get.

“You two are so sickly cute it’s disgustingly endearing. Remind me to nausea meds when I’m around the both of you,” Reuben teased you both. He was sitting at the table next to Mickey, shoving food in his mouth with a grin.

“Oh, I second that. It was bad enough I was forced to see her read the novels he sent her but now I have to see them interact in person.” Casey, your best friend who was your maid of honor chuckled. She sipped on her drink next to you with her date on the other side hiding a laugh with her hand.

“Hey, I wasn’t that bad. And those letters were sweet.” You grumbled under your breath causing the whole table to laugh. In all honesty, you were down bad.

She raised an eyebrow at you, “Need I remind you of the events leading to your callsign, Wraith?” She had got you there, not even your loving husband knew about that.

“Nope!” You squeaked, cheeks turning a dark crimson color. Reuben gave a questioning look to Mickey who shrugged back. He knew of your callsign, just not the story of how it came to you.

“Now you have to tell us. You can’t expect us not to bite the bait you’ve just thrown at us.”

Casey opened her mouth to speak but stopped at the look you gave her, instead she shrugged. “Sorry. Lips are sealed.”

“How wonderful,” you replied dryly, shaking your head at her. The others protested, wanting to hear the story that managed to ruffle your feathers. “I promise it’s nothing too interesting. She’s just making it out to seem like more than it really is.”

“I beg to differ,” Casey said behind her glass, smirking at you from the memory but relented in the end. It wasn’t everyday she got to tease you endlessly which had been payback for all the times you’ve done it to her. But she knew her limits and didn’t plan on crossing that line lest it fall back on her.

Reuben perked up at the exchange, “You’re not getting out of it that easily, I will expect an explanation some time in the future. As for now, go have your first dance you two lovebirds.” He and Casey had all but pushed you and Mickey out of your seats towards the makeshift dance floor. 

Giggling at their antics you grabbed Mickey’s hand in yours pulling yourself into his embrace as the music played after the announcement of your first dance. 

Finally having a moment to yourselves without any interruptions before the rest of the party joins you.

You looked up at him, completely love-struck, eyes shining with emotion. “I love you, Mr. Garcia.”

“I love you more, Mrs. Garcia.” He smiles, leaning down and pulls you into a kiss.

[girlgenius1111]

You said you like to keep these things in your asks to read them again - figured it’s the least I can do to try and show how much I appreciate your writing! I apologize in advance for the absolutely excessive length of this, but I’m not well know for my brevity, unfortunately.

Solstrale being so excited at IKEA - my HEART! Mapi is giving such golden retriever energy in the store I am obsessed. Solstrale starting to tear up in the store and yet Ingrid being so gentle and kind, this is simply everything this girl deserves and more. THE SUN MAP MUG? UR AN EVIL GENUIS I LOVE YOU (pun absolutely intended)

“Mapi was just happy to be there” had me giggling as I sat in bed.

“You weren’t…loveable” oh but baby you so are, and you never had to do anything to be deserving of that love. None of us do.

Your ability to write these little splashes of humor in serious moments is just…wistfully wonderful. Your ability to write golden retriever Mapi? God tier.

THE TWENTY THREE TATTOO?! Punch in the mf gut I must admit

I must say I wholeheartedly say that I sympathize with Ingrid’s inability to be chill in any situation. Her tumbling into the room asking about the tattoo is cracking me up lol.

The dichotomy of emotion between Ingrid and her sister, Mapi and Solstrale, and Mapi and Ingrid flows so well and is executed perfectly. I’m in complete and utter awe, in the most complete sense of the words! It just ebbs and flows so perfectly

ABSTINENCE IS KEY IM WHEEZING 😭

“You cried yourself to sleep that night, quietly muffling your sobs in your pillow. It was a sadness that plagued you, mixed with hope. Your parents didn’t love you, you were pretty sure of that. But it seemed like, maybe, Ingrid did.” This is gorgeous. Painful, and yet so so hopeful at the same time. The balance of heartbreak and softness is wonderful.

The phone call 💔 The call backs to Mapis experience with the Spanish camps is such a perfect comparison.

“I am never letting that woman near Solstråle again. I don’t care what I have to do. She’s been hurt enough. I won’t let her be hurt anymore.” INGRID FINALLY FUCKING GETS IT PRAISE THE LORD!

“Of course healing isn’t linear” Judas Priest I am genuinely sitting in bed with tears in my fucking eyes.

Okay their father showing up wasn’t at all what I was expecting but I am sat. Oh god…not Solstrale coming in at the worst time PLEASE GOD NO 😭

“You didn’t mean you wanted them to let you go back to Norway. You wanted them to let you go. The tension in the air thickened at this, as both of them realized what you meant.” This poor GIRL. Mapi swearing on fucking INGRID sent me into the stratosphere…oh how much they love her.

“And maybe it was also the desperation inside yourself, too,  and the ache in your heart that you knew you didn’t need to carry anymore.” No words. All I do is fucking write and I have no words to adequately describe how much perfection exists in this one sentence.

Whew. I truly can’t quite put into words how genuinely perfect this is. To reach the level of heartbreak and emotion that you do is just something phenomenal. It’s something special. How you find the moments of light and mix it with those of the dark, all at the same time. You have this most wonderful gift of being able to portray human emotion in such a raw, real way and I am so endlessly grateful that you choose to share it in this little corner of the internet with us. I’ve adored this series and how you’ve crafted these three and their little household, and will always be sat for any future stories you write about these two - or anyone else for that matter.

Thank you so so much for writing this. Dealing with some of my own personal issues with my own mother and reading this is just…its heartbreak and it’s healing all at the same time.

And ofc, thank you to Bailey as well! Who are we without the planners and helpers in our lives - I think I’d lose my head if summer-princess didn’t remind me where I put it sometimes haha!

i am… speechless?

i want to print this comment out, frame it, and put it up in my room. tattoo it onto my body.

it’s crazy to me how comments on my writing can be so eloquent and beautiful, but you always somehow manage to do that.

seriously i read this with the biggest smile on my face.

it means so, so, SO much to me that not only do you read my work… and enjoy it… you have such strong feelings about it. it blows my mind in the best way.

anyway. going to read this everyday for the rest of my life. i appreciate and love you very much.

[jungle-angel]

🌺🎄Mele Kalikimaka🎄 49.

The kids writing letters to Santa

With Bob

I need to see this auggie's letter to Santa pls!

And thanks for the update abt his first drink with Phoenix so excited to hear it!

EEEEEEEEKK!!!! A iā ʻoe nō hoʻi e kuʻu hoaaloha (And to you as well, my friend). Sorry, I had to use translate for that one, I've picked up a little of Hawaiian here and there but definitely not fluent (lol).

December 14th, 2022

Bozeman, MT

"So are you ok picking them up and bringing them home?" Bob asked Jake over FaceTime.

"I've gotta run up that way anyways and grab the girls from school," Jake informed him. "You guys need anything before the storm hits?"

"I might need Evan Williams with extra honey," Bob chuckled. "It's gonna be a long night from the looks of it."

Jake laughed and shook his head before he hung up. Bob stuck his phone back on the charger before he made his way back over to where you were snuggling with Deidre, quietly rocking her to sleep as a movie played in the living room and the wooden rocker creaked a little bit. "Thing's getting kind of old huh?" you chuckled.

"Great-great-grandpa Jacob had it built when he came home after World War One," Bob explained. "Dad was always afraid it was gonna break one of these days but it's sturdy as ever."

You smiled a little bit as Deidre turned her head in a little bit, still asleep with the tip of her little nose brushing against the threads of your sweatshirt and through the layers against your nipple. "Guess our little snow bunny's getting sleepy," Bob remarked, his hand brushing the thin little wisps of blonde hair on her head.

"Let her sleep," you told him. "When Auggie and Patrick come home, she's going upstairs and those two are either gonna hang with their ants and uncles or your mom and dad are gonna come and get'em."

"I already bribed Dad into coming and getting them," Bob chuckled. "The squad on the other hand....."

You laughed a little bit, knowing that Penny and Maverick, Rooster and the rest of the gang already had their hands full with their own little brood of kids. You heard a truck pulling into the driveway and Jake entering the house with Auggie, Patrick and his twin girls.

"Momma!!! Momma!!! Daddy!! We wrote letters to Santa at school today!!" Auggie declared excitedly.

"Oh you did?!" you asked.

It was times like this that you, Bob and the others were relieved beyond words that you had sent the kids to one of those hippie schools that allowed the kids to write letters to Santa and do all of the other things that you and the gang remembered doing as kids......even snowball fights during recess.

Auggie quickly dug his envelope out of his Luke Skywalker backpack and handed it to Bob who carefully opened the envelope and read the letter.

"Dear Santa, please send my Dad two billion dollars and a fighter jet for Christmas," Bob read aloud before you, him and Jake burst into an unexpected bout of laughter.

"And please help me find my pet iguana, his name is 'Chicken Nugget, but we call him Nugget sometimes," Bob continued on, wiping away a tear from his eye. "I think he ate too many of Mimi's brownies, got fat and couldn't get out the dog door. Please help us find Chicken Nugget if you see him. P.S, my brother Patrick wants some roast beef, a chicken, a pizza......"

You guys could hardly contain your laughter, even as you carried Deidre back up the stairs to quickly put her in her crib. When you came back down, Jake and Bob were all practically in stitches.

"Think this is worth sending to the others?" Jake asked.

"Oh believe me it'll be worth it," Bob answered. "And just so you know, we're showing these to the kids when they go off to college."

[mochalottie]

hiiii lottie, this is not a question and i honestly have no idea where this is going, but there's too much things i need to say soooo let's start with a massive, gigantic THANK YOU! the way you managed to write chapters averaging +10k words each EVERY SINGLE WEEK for TWENTY. NINE. FUCKING. WEEKS!!! this is monumental work you did on your free time and i'll never be grateful enough for all the efforts you put in it.

there is something about the way you write, idk if it's about your descriptions or the way you handle your characters and their voices, but i think i'm simply in love with your style! i had read all your avatar works before ftnadol, and i'm so glad i was able to read this one since the first chapter. the journey has been one of a kind, a wild ride unlike any other, and to tell you how deeply invested i became, just know i usually rarely take time to comment on fanfics. shame on me i know, but i'm too shy and never know what to say but idk what happened with this fic, i guess it broke something in me. it took me three chapters to leave the tiniest comment and then i was writing whole-ass essays???? i don't even know myself how that happened but goood, i think i needed to somehow process all the thoughts and feelings and emotions your writing gave me. and now it's so much easier to leave comments on other fics and it provides me so much joy and pleasure to know that writers know how much i enjoy and care for their works, so i guess i must thank you for that as well 💖

i think i told you already but your little story became a whole part of my routine, i had my monday night ritual reading the new chapter, screaming in my pillow and then again in your comments. i was looking forward to come back to this universe every week, thinking about those characters at random times throughout the week, wondering what would happen to them next and coming up with my own little theories. they were not always correct (malachy socorro, you will alway be remembered </3) but this kept reminding me the power held by fanfiction, stories, and art as a whole. i cannot fathom how some people manage to live their lives without being deeply involved in fandoms and engaging with cultural medias, and i'm so sorry they'll never get to experience the sorrows and joys it provides!

now that's been said, back to ftnadol! where to even begin? the whole concept of this alternative universe is a banger sort of idea! i mean, sorry, but eywa-blessed spider in a world where every single human was sent back to earth?!?!?! goooosh it feels just like yesterday that jake was finding baby spider in hell's gate, and look where we are now! so much has happened, those characters went to hell and back, and most essentially they've grown so so much!! baby spider and baby neteyam growing up as brothers since day one was not something i thought i needed, but you've crafted such a wonderful relationship, you wrote such a beautiful take on brotherhood and love and acceptance. i shed so many tears on this fic and just to think of their bond is making me emotional again.

every character was written so amazingly well: jake with all his humanity and stubborness, neytiri so fierce and caring, mo'at is an absolute icon, even the way you explored quaritch. his character is so complex, a much crueler version of him whose end was very satisfying. the whole expansion you made on na'vi culture and the connection between clans. tsireya, ao'nung, rotxo, even tonowari and ronal, they were not featured much but you managed to bring something fresh and new to them, fitting the twists of this story. i could say the same with tuk and kiri, i wish we'd had more of them but every time they were in a scene, they were an absolute delight and i can't wait to have more of them in the sequel. lo'ak, gosh i could say so many things about him, he is the character who touched me the most in atwow and every little additions you made to his character made me love him a little more. since spider is his big bro and not just his best friend, it changes so many things about his character. you gave us a much more mature version of him and i'm so proud of the journey he went through. now one of the biggest surprises i would say is neteyam! he didn't particularly stuck with me in canon, surely because his character is less present than the other kids and jc made a totally unnecessary decision that destroyed me. but fanon made me change my mind, and this fic played a big part in it. again it's so hard to speak of this neteyam without bringing up spider, and to see his character so impacted by the loss of his brother, with so much anger and frustration and sadness and hurt, god it was so devastating and heartbreaking. which leads us to the one and only spider!!!! our little guy, who's been through so much and yet remains that sweet kid who manages to see the goodness in people. he wormed his way in people's hearts, got a loving family and caring friends, and was ready to do everything in his power to protect them. he cares so much for his people and for his world, and life has been so hard on him but he proved everyone he deserved to be here and he's worthy!

honourary mention for the way you depicted the na'vi relationship with animals. payakan, the discovery of tsuraks and ilus, THE IKRANS. but most important of them all, my guy GUY <333 i miss him so much, and his bond with spider was the most wholesome thing. they were not able to communicate like others can and yet we saw how the trust between them grew through care to become this beautiful companionship. my life will not be complete until i see them reuniting and be one again

and last but no least, malachy! don't worry i didn't forget about him—how could i? this is just another proof of how good your writing is; you made me care so much about some original character whose foundations had everything to make me hate him. but you gave him an insane backstory, compassion and mercy, a brain, and this exceptional change of heart. i remember you wondering if we were interested in reading from his pov, and already then i wanted a more nuanced stance within the rda. you gave us everything i wanted and more with this character. he went through his own fulfilling journey and i know there's still so much more to learn about him, and he still have so much to learn from pandora, and i'm so glad he made it out alive thus far!

another massive thank you for you, lottie. i wish i could reach through my screen and give you a hug for everything you gave us with this story. your talent is boundless, you made these characters feel so real and i couldn't be happier that you decided to write this sequel because i don't want this story to end just yet. i'm not ready to say goodbye to them so i'm very excited to see where this next ride will take us <333333

Babes, bestie THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR AMAZING COMMENTS!

I'm stunned my work got you to come out of your commenting shell because your essays were literally one of the comments I looked forward to each chapter. And that you have a routine stop you're gonna make me sob-- TT_TT

I literally don't know what I can say that will say thank you for your words and love for this story so just please take my love and hugs and everything else babes.

And thank you for loving Malachy!! I'm glad he's been accepted by readers because it was a bit nerve wracking to create a character like his.

Thank you my love, one hundred times thank you

<333

[tadpolesonalgae]

hey tabby! 🫀anon here, thank you so much for taking the time to reply and with such kindness at that🥹

>>Gosh, I hope you aren’t disappointed by it—just as a heads up it might be a little slow in parts but I hope you enjoy it :)

First off, Gosh, I don't think I COULD be disappointed by ANYTHING that you write, like honest to God, your work heals me. I'm just having a hard time deciding if I want to wait cbmthy out till it's complete or if I should just start it already 😭 because I know I'll just want to tear my hair off if the latest chapter ends in like a cliffhanger or something.

>>(I loved him being cold, and cruel, and kind of flirtatious 🫢😳)

💯 i mean, sameee gurl sameee 👌🏻

honestly, I loved Rhysand's character soo much throughout the 1st book even tho sjm did not exactly make him seem like a "main" character or one who's on the "good" side in it, and I was even prepared for him as a villain of sorts? like, I don't mean Amarantha or Hybern level of villain, but deffo like badguy with ulterior motives that don't really affect the world in a bad sense but would definitely resort to immoral ways to accomplish said ulterior motives kind of bad? so kinda like an anti hero ig? (sorry if I'm not making sense, it's just English isn't my first language and I didn't know how to translate it best. also, I'm also not very good with words 🥲) which might be why I absolutely loved your dark!Rhys fics, Gods were they amazing, thankyou for writing them luv🤌🏻

>>I never hated Tamlin though

oh I'm so glad somebody resonates with me on this, now I don't know if you still like/don't dislike him after all the books or if you only meant through the first book, but I personally would love to see his character explored a lot more and think there's a lot of scope but for some reason everywhere I see, there's only hate for him(mostly) and I hate that some people judge me(and a lot of other readers) solely on the basis of characters we like/dislike? needless to say, I wouldn't say I hated tamlin either, infact I still enjoy feylin fics a lot even tho I don't get to read very many of them. it's just that back when I was reading ACOMAF I just NEEDED my otp(feysand) to happen fsr lol😅 honestly I don't think I'd have minded all that much if feylin was infact endgame, I'd just have been a little sad is all lol🥲 because how many otps of mine just didn't happen?(😭the answer is in a good high tens)

>>I mean to be fair, I don’t really watch films or tv shows at all anymore, and until acotar I hadn’t read many books so I think I might have been oblivious to those tropes/cliches

I so completely understand this bit, because personally, I'm exhaustingly clueless about a lot of media that people are usually just raving on and on about and it's not usually because I don't want to watch it, but there are these attention deficit tendencies that love visiting me on a regular basis that just won't let me sit down, load a show and watch it till the end😭 I mean, I watched the 1st iron man movie 16 years after it first came out so🥲and it wasn't for a lack of trying, I've been meaning to watch it for the past 8 years or so and I just got around to it. honestly it's a miracle I read all the Acotar books to the end lol

>>Thank you so much for writing in!!

Thank YOU for actually taking out the time to read it AND reply to it, in such detail at that. i truly mean it when I say you're one of the kindest individuals I've interacted with online and you inspire me to pass that kindness on as well.

ps: this isn't exactly an ask but I just couldn't NOT reply to your message, so I'm just glad you read it, you really don't have to reply to it, I'm just happy to have sent this message on it's way.

we all love you, Tabby.

—🫀

‘First off, Gosh, I don't think I COULD be disappointed by ANYTHING that you write, like honest to God, your work heals me.’

😭🫂🫂🫂🫂 thank you so much 😭🧡💛

‘I'm just having a hard time deciding if I want to wait cbmthy out till it's complete or if I should just start it already 😭 because I know I'll just want to tear my hair off if the latest chapter ends in like a cliffhanger or something.’

Oooh gosh, I guess it’s up to you? There’s still a lot of the story left to write—I’d say we’re probably either half or two thirds of the way there in terms of storyline and events that will happen. It’s not going to be over any time soon, basically, which is both exciting and pretty scary 😭

Honestly I think the tension is in the first half, if that makes sense? (Which it probably doesn’t since you don’t know reader’s fate, but 🤷) There’s going to be a ‘half’ chapter which adds in some contexts to reader’s history, but I think after chapter 15, that should be where the tension relaxes a bit? I like to think that in *very* broad terms, chapters 1 through 15 are the ‘hurt’ ones, and 16 onward will be the ‘comfort’ ones? There are still going to be intense moments but she might not have to be on her own anymore (provided she learns to seek help when she needs it)

‘but deffo like badguy with ulterior motives that don't really affect the world in a bad sense but would definitely resort to immoral ways to accomplish said ulterior motives kind of bad?’

Yes! Like I’m happy with how Feysand turned out, but I would have been fine if Rhys stayed ‘evil’ for a bit longer 🫢 just a few more scenes of him being super scary and Feyre being wary of him 🤭

I feel like even as soon as he first visited her in her cell, there was a suggestion he wasn’t that bad? Especially after we learned only one person bet on her winning? Ignoring how acotar characters would write that off as a whim, from a storytelling standpoint that’s a pretty clear way of singling a character out and making them significant 🤭

‘(sorry if I'm not making sense, it's just English isn't my first language and I didn't know how to translate it best. also, I'm also not very good with words 🥲)’

Girl if you hadn’t straight up said English isn’t your first language, I would’ve had no idea 😭

‘which might be why I absolutely loved your dark!Rhys fics, Gods were they amazing, thankyou for writing them luv🤌🏻’

Thank you so much!!! Yes, I have to say there is a certain appeal to writing dark characters, but only if they have a soft spot of some kind for the reader 😭🧡💛

‘oh I'm so glad somebody resonates with me on this, now I don't know if you still like/don't dislike him after all the books or if you only meant through the first book,’

I didn’t hate him in the first book or any other after that, BUT, I did definitely get frustrated with him during the High Lords’ meeting 😭 I kind of wish we got his perspective on that, or at least more about his character? Because Feyre dismantling stability within the Spring Court was quite a brash move I think, and one she might have decided against if she wasn’t having to deal with so many other matters as well as sorting through her own emotions? Because she definitely went through a lot 😭

I guess I feel that Tamlin has a lot of anger in general, which can make him impulsive and volatile at times—like when Feyre first realised she could make a shield in his office—and I’d love to see Sarah explore that more!!

‘but I personally would love to see his character explored a lot more and think there's a lot of scope’

Yes! Exactly!! There’s so much we don’t know about his character and so much potential to spin new stories? Ugh I would love that so much 😭

‘and I hate that some people judge me(and a lot of other readers) solely on the basis of characters we like/dislike?’

I mean, I think it’s made more complicated because of immersion and how emotionally connected some people feel to characters? I was having a conversation about how we all read the same books but it’s interesting there’s such a vast range of opinions? Like some people really hate Nesta, which I can see why I suppose but I personally love her 🧡💛

I think the problem starts when people get too attached to characters that they’re unable to speak objectively about them? I’m definitely guilty of this too though 😭 one of my friends read acotar and was saying something about Az and how they didn’t like him and I straight up asked them to stop because I knew it would upset me 😭 (they did, which was kind of them ☹️)

‘it's just that back when I was reading ACOMAF I just NEEDED my otp(feysand) to happen fsr lol😅’

No I get that 🤩

The tension being set up both in the one bed at the inn scene and the Court of Nightmares moment just made the resolution really enjoyable for me! Not so much the smut part, but when Rhys finds her in the cabin and they end up having a heart to heart, and Rhys tells her more about his history? It just made me feel so happy for them so I know what you mean about wanting them to get together!

‘but there are these attention deficit tendencies that love visiting me on a regular basis that just won't let me sit down, load a show and watch it till the end’

I don’t have it to that extent, but I know that on a smaller scale, I like having music or videos playing in the background while I work? Especially while doing more domestic work like the washing up, changing my sheets, generally tidying etc. it makes the process so much easier, and I won’t get bored of the work or feel guilty for relaxing during ‘work hours’ on weekends

‘I've been meaning to watch it for the past 8 years or so and I just got around to it.’

8 YEARS?? 🫢

Well done for keeping up the determination to actually watch it! 🎉

‘Thank YOU for actually taking out the time to read it AND reply to it, in such detail at that.’

I honestly cannot explain how much I love getting to speak with you. Genuinely, it’s so wonderful being able to interact with other people who like acotar and especially getting to discuss and debate different elements of the story has got to be one of my favourite things about fandom 🫂🧡💛

‘we all love you, Tabby.’

My eyes are prickling for some reason ☹️

Thank you for writing in and taking the time to read through the fics on here ☹️🫂🧡💛

[sketch-mer-6195]

I'm back~

It's been a very, very, very long time since touching anything remotely related to LOTR or The Hobbit. But these past couple of months, Forsaken has nagged at me to read it once more and officially get through this series and be able to write once again!

Sadly with the name change on my account, it got rid of the series as a whole... thank the Allspark for google docs.

So, for this.... I'm going back to my roots when I first started here on Tumblr. Just to give me some nostalgia. A little drabble of my first OC for The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings.

This is a spoiler as well to the sequel of Forsaken (which there are added spoilers of what is yet to come in Forsaken for those who have read up to chapter 14.) I shall bring back Forsaken once more after proofreading and tweaking it where needed. For now, please enjoy.

●●● ●●● ●●●

Sisílla, growing up in Rivendell, was always escorted by Lindir or by one of Elrond's three children. When she was introduced to Aragorn, at that time a young lad, she found him different but a pleasant boy. Her only interaction with the race of Men and he, growing up with the Elves, gave her high hopes that Men were all kind and understanding.

But during her journey with Thorin and Company and meeting Bard and the people of Laketown, she had mixed feelings towards them. Not hate or disgust, except for Alfred who was a leech, but not in love or confident. She felt the air around the Town Master of his greed. Nowhere near as bad as the Dragon Sickness that Thorin faced. But she also found the compassion and dedication with Bard and his children. It was the glimmer of hope that she needed and he was the one that visited her, after the Battle of the Five Armies, during and after the funeral of Thorin, Fíli and Kíli and the crowning of Daín. King Bard was there for her, as a friend and one she could speak to when she needed to escape Erebor from the painful memories.

After several years and returning to Rivendell, Aragorn had been one of the first to welcome Sisílla home and knew by her hollow voice and meek smile that she had changed from her travels. As years passed and many moons later, Aragorn and Sisílla grew closer. She was his ward. And when he chose to become a Ranger, Aragorn apologized to her only to see her smile and her silver blinded eye glimmer with tears of joy.

"Mellon, there is no need for apologies. I have waited for this day for you to seek your own fate."

With a small kiss to his cheek, she bid him farewell and watched from the visions she had seen before to make sure he was safe.

~~~~

As the years passed and the dark whispers in shadows began to crawl across Middle-Earth, rumors of the One Ring had begun to flock near and far. Raven's from Moria had stopped, that was a first sign for Sisílla. And then the sudden darkness and sense of dread came like a thunderstorm when Arwen brought Frodo to the kingdom after being stabbed by a wraith's blade. Elrond's council had sent word about the One Ring had survived all these years later.

Legolas Greenleaf, prince of Mirkwood. Gimli, son of Gloin. And Boromir, son of Denethor and captain of Gondor's army. All but he was welcomed by Sisílla as Elrond felt uneasy with the likes of Boromir. He had faith that he would help with bringing the Ring to Mordor to be destroyed. But to know that the Seer or Middle-Earth was also in Rivendell. It would have brought unwanted attention to the young woman who was not needing the stress of a Man whose father was not one to think clearly.

But it wasn’t to last for Boromir had begun to wonder and view the sights and landscape that was Rivendell. Light, peaceful, away from danger and war. Something that was so foreign to the Captain. With the moon taking its place in the night sky, he couldn’t help but take a slow and deep breath as the cool mountain air that welcomed him happily. But something caught his eye down below. Something made of starlight. To be correct... someone. Fair skinned and hair long and soft. Braided in a simple but intricate design. A circlette adorning her crown, and a pale blue and silver gown that was as delicate as the moons rays that followed her path. He watched with great interest of this maiden. He had not seen her, yet she looked as though of great importance based off of her attire. But something was not right. She was in no where related to an elf yet, she held herself with the same grace and obedience of them.

As she slowed to a stop and slowly turned towards the direction of where the moon hung, he noticed something fare more striking.

Her eyes.

They were that of diamonds. Brilliant and bright. More dazzling than any star in the night sky.

Enraptured by her beauty, Boromir for once, lost his ability to breath until she begun her walk once more. How can such a maiden capture him such as her?

○○○

Elrond's council was in session for the start of an important conversation. The Ring of Sauron was upon them. Men, Elves and Dwarves all under one council. But there was one seat that was open and placed next to Lord Elrond himself to his left. "It seems that we have one more?" Gandalf spoke, his pipe perched between his lips.

"And who would that be? If they had word of this council, they would have been here like the rest of us." Boromir said hotly as his patience grew thin with waiting on the late comer.

But it was pushed aside as the rest of the council murmured in awe, some in shock, two of which were honored to be in the presence. Confused from all the quiet excitement, Boromir turned to see where everyone was pointing and looking only to swallow his own words in a thick gulp. Walking in such silence and elegant grace, adorned in a velvety green gown that matched the color of mint and her same circlette and long silvery white hair, the maiden walked with Lindir by her side to the seat next to Elrond.

As she sat straight with such poise her silvery clouded eyes, unfocused but dazzled like diamonds, Boromir couldn't think. Stories were told and rumors spread. But to be in the presence of the Oracle or Rivendell herself was something more to add with the Ring of Power in the possession of the Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins. Maybe having his father send him to the council instead of Faramir was for the best. To bring the One Ring and the Oracle to his father would help defend Gondor, bring a beacon of hope to his people, and have the power to stop all enemies from Mordor.

Or so he hopes...

---

It's been a long time and I am so happy to have this here to give me the drive once again. For those who I am tagging... please let me know if you would like to stay tagged or not. I know it's been a very long time since writing for this franchise, but know that you all are what brought me to tumble to start off with. Especially you @luna-xial. With your amazing fiction work, you helped me face my biggest fears of sharing my written work to the world.

Taglist: @lathalea @laurfilijames @wordspin-shares @notlostgnome @blairsanne @welcome-to-writers-haven @luna-xial @i-did-not-mean-to @tolkien-fantasy @sillydowneyboat @lonikje @fizzyxcustard @middleearthpixie @sirmacbethbeth @myselfandfantasy @mysticboombox @sweetestgbye

Please let me know if you would like to be added/removed from the tag list.

[lyranova]

For the event, can I request Acier with An old phot/Ghosts. I was mostly thinking about the Silva siblings first, but in the end, I'll go with Acier^^

Hiya anon! Of course, and I hope you enjoy! I’m sorry it took so long, I kind of had a bit of difficulty coming up with an idea, but I finally did lol! This fic does have manga spoilers which is why it’s under the cut 😅!

Word Count: 617

Warnings: Spoilers for Manga

Acier walked slowly through her old home. It was strange, she was alive, and yet at the same time she wasn’t. She could touch things, grab them, and move about, but she didn’t breathe and she didn’t have a heartbeat.

It was as though she were somewhere between living and dead.

She walked up the stairs and frowned as she stared at the portrait of herself, it was like she was staring at a ghost of her former self. She couldn’t remember what it was like to smile as warmly as she did in the portrait.

What on earth could she have been looking at to make her smile in such a way?

She turned and began to walk down the hall. Memories flooded her mind as she looked into each room. Memories of spending time with her children, memories of her husband that was rarely around, memories that should have elicited a warm or nostalgic response.

But instead, the woman remained indifferent.

Those may’ve been her children, that man may’ve been her husband, but she felt nothing as all the memories flashed into her mind. She felt no joy, no happiness, nothing.

She opened one final door and looked inside. It appeared to be a bedroom, but whose she did not know. She walked slowly inside as eyes scanned it, there wasn’t a single person in here, it was an empty room just like the rest of the house.

She walked over to the bookshelf that stood across from the bed and began to look at one book after the other. Why? She had no idea.

Maybe she wanted a reason as to why Lucius sent her specifically to this place, another reason besides the obvious. Was he hoping she would have some sort of emotion to this place and the people who lived here?

Probably not. It was probably because he wanted a reaction out of her children.

She pulled a book out of the shelf and began to flip through it. It was full of nothing but photos. She shook her head, in some of these the children looked happy, while in others they looked angry, in some they looked sad.

But it was the final picture that made her eyes widen a bit.

It was of four children, three with cold and irritated looks on their faces, but one looked different. The little girl with pigtails that stood in the center had a sad and miserable look on her face, a look that told Acier that the little girl knew she wasn’t wanted, that she wasn’t supposed to be standing there.

Acier gasped as she felt something in her chest. Something akin to a tugging or maybe even stabbing, that sort of feeling. The woman clutched her chest as she stared at the little girl, and a shaky hand reached out to gently caress the girl's face in the photo.

“ I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry my daughter.” Acier said, her voice cracking and barely above a whisper, she felt tears well in her eyes and gently spill onto her cheeks.

But almost as quickly as that emotion appeared, it disappeared and a cold look returned to the woman’s face.

She quickly placed the book back onto the shelf, she was a Paladin now, and wasn’t supposed to feel any emotions for these people. They were trying to stop Lucius’s plan, and so they had to be stopped.

She turned as she heard yelling and shouting coming from down stairs, she quickly wiped her tears away, walked out of the room, and began to make her way downstairs.

Acier was going to welcome her children home, just like any good mother would do.

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all have a good day~!

[shibaraki]

gosh i am so sleepy but hi monty im that anon who sent u a phat ask about fill my little world + reading that lil midoriya thing and it making my day infinitely better. that is so specific but it is quite alright if u dont remember what ask i mean!!

anyway, i just finished life is the tillage and wow. i didnt know how to word it until recently but im a very romantic and intimate person and i love showing my love to others in whatever way i can and ive never thought that i could resonate with a writing style so much until i found ur fics?? like... ur so good at writing love its unreal. all kinds of love and it makes me feel so warm and astonished (especially because im very picky with what fics i read JDKSJCKS)

everything from ur lil drabbles to ur long fics makes me so excited because i know im going to end up with a heart three times bigger (a la grinch) than before i read through all ur most recent posts. i need to u know that u have helped me get back into my writing groove these last few months and that whenever i think of intimacy i think of things like sharing food and opening up to new and old people and learning to love urself a little more and ur writing has played a big part in it. thank u very much

ok mimir time. i go sleep, have a good day (or night)!! <3

- (can i be called... mimir anon...)

hello my sweet of course I remember !!!! I recall that phat ask made me shed a PHAT TEAR and I gotta say I was on facetime to a friend while I read this so he had the best seats in the house when I started blubbering like a baby. this means so so much to me in so many ways I wish I could verbalise them!!! I’ve said this before I’m sure but… I feel things very very intensely. all the time. I’m so acutely aware of every thing that it exhausts me. at the same time I wouldn’t ever change that about myself. fic really became a tool for me to explore those thoughts and feelings and love myself. I grew up being misunderstood so I’m a chronic over explainer and I had this insatiable need to unpack those parts of myself. I am incredibly honoured for that to have played a part in your return to writing again, and that my silly little stories have helped shape how you see intimacy and love. I hope you sleep well, and thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts with me 🫶🏻