#Whether you're passionate about coding

[bigleapblog]

Your Guide to B.Tech in Computer Science & Engineering Colleges

In today's technology-driven world, pursuing a B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) has become a popular choice among students aspiring for a bright future. The demand for skilled professionals in areas like Artificial Intelligence, Machine Learning, Data Science, and Cloud Computing has made computer science engineering colleges crucial in shaping tomorrow's innovators. Saraswati College of Engineering (SCOE), a leader in engineering education, provides students with a perfect platform to build a successful career in this evolving field.

Whether you're passionate about coding, software development, or the latest advancements in AI, pursuing a B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering at SCOE can open doors to endless opportunities.

Why Choose B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering?

Choosing a B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering isn't just about learning to code; it's about mastering problem-solving, logical thinking, and the ability to work with cutting-edge technologies. The course offers a robust foundation that combines theoretical knowledge with practical skills, enabling students to excel in the tech industry.

At SCOE, the computer science engineering courses are designed to meet industry standards and keep up with the rapidly evolving tech landscape. With its AICTE Approved, NAAC Accredited With Grade-"A+" credentials, the college provides quality education in a nurturing environment. SCOE's curriculum goes beyond textbooks, focusing on hands-on learning through projects, labs, workshops, and internships. This approach ensures that students graduate not only with a degree but with the skills needed to thrive in their careers.

The Role of Computer Science Engineering Colleges in Career Development

The role of computer science engineering colleges like SCOE is not limited to classroom teaching. These institutions play a crucial role in shaping students' futures by providing the necessary infrastructure, faculty expertise, and placement opportunities. SCOE, established in 2004, is recognized as one of the top engineering colleges in Navi Mumbai. It boasts a strong placement record, with companies like Goldman Sachs, Cisco, and Microsoft offering lucrative job opportunities to its graduates.

The computer science engineering courses at SCOE are structured to provide a blend of technical and soft skills. From the basics of computer programming to advanced topics like Artificial Intelligence and Data Science, students at SCOE are trained to be industry-ready. The faculty at SCOE comprises experienced professionals who not only impart theoretical knowledge but also mentor students for real-world challenges.

Highlights of the B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering Program at SCOE

Comprehensive Curriculum: The B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering program at SCOE covers all major areas, including programming languages, algorithms, data structures, computer networks, operating systems, AI, and Machine Learning. This ensures that students receive a well-rounded education, preparing them for various roles in the tech industry.

Industry-Relevant Learning: SCOE’s focus is on creating professionals who can immediately contribute to the tech industry. The college regularly collaborates with industry leaders to update its curriculum, ensuring students learn the latest technologies and trends in computer science engineering.

State-of-the-Art Infrastructure: SCOE is equipped with modern laboratories, computer centers, and research facilities, providing students with the tools they need to gain practical experience. The institution’s infrastructure fosters innovation, helping students work on cutting-edge projects and ideas during their B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering.

Practical Exposure: One of the key benefits of studying at SCOE is the emphasis on practical learning. Students participate in hands-on projects, internships, and industry visits, giving them real-world exposure to how technology is applied in various sectors.

Placement Support: SCOE has a dedicated placement cell that works tirelessly to ensure students secure internships and job offers from top companies. The B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering program boasts a strong placement record, with top tech companies visiting the campus every year. The highest on-campus placement offer for the academic year 2022-23 was an impressive 22 LPA from Goldman Sachs, reflecting the college’s commitment to student success.

Personal Growth: Beyond academics, SCOE encourages students to participate in extracurricular activities, coding competitions, and tech fests. These activities enhance their learning experience, promote teamwork, and help students build a well-rounded personality that is essential in today’s competitive job market.

What Makes SCOE Stand Out?

With so many computer science engineering colleges to choose from, why should you consider SCOE for your B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering? Here are a few factors that make SCOE a top choice for students:

Experienced Faculty: SCOE prides itself on having a team of highly qualified and experienced faculty members. The faculty’s approach to teaching is both theoretical and practical, ensuring students are equipped to tackle real-world challenges.

Strong Industry Connections: The college maintains strong relationships with leading tech companies, ensuring that students have access to internship opportunities and campus recruitment drives. This gives SCOE graduates a competitive edge in the job market.

Holistic Development: SCOE believes in the holistic development of students. In addition to academic learning, the college offers opportunities for personal growth through various student clubs, sports activities, and cultural events.

Supportive Learning Environment: SCOE provides a nurturing environment where students can focus on their academic and personal growth. The campus is equipped with modern facilities, including spacious classrooms, labs, a library, and a recreation center.

Career Opportunities After B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering from SCOE

Graduates with a B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering from SCOE are well-prepared to take on various roles in the tech industry. Some of the most common career paths for CSE graduates include:

Software Engineer: Developing software applications, web development, and mobile app development are some of the key responsibilities of software engineers. This role requires strong programming skills and a deep understanding of software design.

Data Scientist: With the rise of big data, data scientists are in high demand. CSE graduates with knowledge of data science can work on data analysis, machine learning models, and predictive analytics.

AI Engineer: Artificial Intelligence is revolutionizing various industries, and AI engineers are at the forefront of this change. SCOE’s curriculum includes AI and Machine Learning, preparing students for roles in this cutting-edge field.

System Administrator: Maintaining and managing computer systems and networks is a crucial role in any organization. CSE graduates can work as system administrators, ensuring the smooth functioning of IT infrastructure.

Cybersecurity Specialist: With the growing threat of cyberattacks, cybersecurity specialists are essential in protecting an organization’s digital assets. CSE graduates can pursue careers in cybersecurity, safeguarding sensitive information from hackers.

Conclusion: Why B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering at SCOE is the Right Choice

Choosing the right college is crucial for a successful career in B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering. Saraswati College of Engineering (SCOE) stands out as one of the best computer science engineering colleges in Navi Mumbai. With its industry-aligned curriculum, state-of-the-art infrastructure, and excellent placement record, SCOE offers students the perfect environment to build a successful career in computer science.

Whether you're interested in AI, data science, software development, or any other field in computer science, SCOE provides the knowledge, skills, and opportunities you need to succeed. With a strong focus on hands-on learning and personal growth, SCOE ensures that students graduate not only as engineers but as professionals ready to take on the challenges of the tech world.

If you're ready to embark on an exciting journey in the world of technology, consider pursuing your B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering at SCOE—a college where your future takes shape.

[loveandpeaceanddoughnuts]

little comforts with the lads li’s

(a self-indulgent imagining of them with a neurodivergent MC)

✨ xavier & overstimulation

(not the sex kind, sorry. but probably that too) Xavier completely understands when you get overwhelmed by existing. he gets the same feeling sometimes. you develop a code for it eventually, a combination of eye contact and eyebrow-raising that signals to the other person that you need out, whether from a Hunter’s Association party or a grocery store with way too many people. back at home, you’ve created a haven together- eye masks and soft blankets for him, headphones and fidgets for you, whatever makes you feel peaceful and calmed. the ceiling lamp is absolutely not allowed- Xavier drapes the walls with soft spheres of light or swirls a firefly-glow of sparks along the bed in a warm canopy.

🎨 rafayel & hyperfixations/jumping hobbies

you might as well consider collecting hobbies a hobby in itself. crochet needles and yarn, jigsaw puzzles, a wood burning setup, a console and video games- whatever brings you joy, Rafayel is enthusiastically behind it. he doesn’t judge you for wanting to learn a new art style out of the blue- he’ll sign up for a pottery class with you and buy you pounds of clay. he loves your passion and enthusiasm and matches it with his own. he loves being creative with you, in whatever form it happens to take that day. plus, with the amount he spends on paint and canvas, he’s not about to judge you for getting boxes of new supplies for something. he’s hyping you up every time! even if it isn’t an interest he shares, he’s happy you’re happy.

🩺 zayne & health anxiety/ocd

no matter how many times you ask for it, Zayne is happy to give you reassurance. yes, that chicken was cooked all the way. you have a weird flutter in your chest? of course he'll listen to your heart. he listens to every symptom, every worry with unfailing patience. after all, he wants to be your protector, your safest place- this is just one way to be that for you. he never makes you feel irrational for your fears, just steadily helps you face them each and every time. he doesn't judge your compulsions, but he offers his expertise whenever you ask- he lets you take your temperature ten times a day but also explains the normal range and when to actually worry.

💭 sylus & overthinking

okay hear me out, this goes both ways: he helps ground you when you’re overthinking negatively but also supports you when you’re being enthusiastic about literally anything. he’s all in- if you have a favorite tv show he’s watching every episode and reading every analysis of it so you can discuss. he’s fully invested in your office drama, your gossip, your made-up stories about the bird family that lives outside your apartment window. but he also soothes you when you spiral into worry or fear. he happily goes through what-if scenarios with you, most of them ending in him spectacularly defeating anything that could ever threaten you. he makes it clear over and over again that you’re completely safe with him, physically and emotionally.

❤️‍🩹 caleb & insecurity

his life mission to make you feel adored. he makes a point of worshipping every part of you, especially anything you consider a "flaw". nothing is too much or too little- you're perfect exactly as you are. if he overhears you complaining about your thick thighs on a call with Tara, he's going to be buried in them later that night, pressing kisses to every inch. he loves working out and training with you. if you want to get healthier he's gladly cooking fresh ingredients into nutritious meals and helping you build up a fun fitness routine- but if there's even a hint of it being because you don't like the way you look in the mirror? he's going to benchpress twice your body weight in front of you just to prove he can. or better yet, he flings you over his shoulder easily and brings you to the bedroom to "work on your confidence".

[prythiansprincess]

DELIRIUM | a stalker! theo au.

"you're so fucking special; I wish I was special."

word count: 5,662.

warnings: please read all trigger warnings before proceeding. dead dove do not eat, noncon, murder, coercion, stalking, assault, manipulation, gaslighting, knife play, blood play, abusive behavior.

author's note: I don't say it lightly when I say that this fic is very dark. I fully understand that the topics and themes discussed are not for everyone, so please be mindful of the warnings before engaging. special thanks to @writingsbychlo for proofreading and encouraging my over all psychophathy.

♫ creep - radiohead. nav. stalker! theo.

There was something wrong with Theo Nott. 

Perhaps it was a result of his traumatic upbringing or perhaps it was simply encrypted into his genetic code, but whether nature or nurture was to be blamed, this simple truth was certain: a sick, twisted, and insatiable monster lurked within him and its hunger could be satiated by one thing and one thing only — you. 

In the deepest and darkest depths of his inky black heart, Theo knew that he was completely and utterly fucked up. This thing inside of him — this madness — rendered him incapable of forming healthy relationships. Time and time again, his passions and proclivities hinted towards a more sinister nature. Some called him deranged, delirious, delusional, but Theo simply thought of himself as a hopeless romantic. 

Theo was not the type of man to harbor a crush or entertain a fling or succumb to a fleeting infatuation that eventually faded over time. When he loved, he loved with his entire being. He loved until it became a fixation, a compulsion, an obsession. This has and always will be his fatal flaw. 

From a young age, Theo learned that he was not normal. When he presented Pansy Parkinson with the front teeth of the boy who dared knock her off the swings, that was not normal. When he gifted Daphne Greengrass the rotting carcass of a bird that had kept her up with the incessant tapping of its beak against her bedroom window, that was not normal. When he offered to carve the initials of Mattheo Riddle into his skin to prove his loyalty, that was not normal. 

Theo was bereft when his friends cried and fled from him, feeling distraught and disappointed by their reactions. After all, he had only done those things to make them happy. Why couldn’t they see that?

When his mother found him crying in the Nott Manor gardens, she explained to him that he was a very special boy. That his capacity for love would be misunderstood by those around him because they simply could not feel the way that he did. The intensity of his emotions surpassed their understanding; they didn’t know what it was like to be irrevocably consumed by love. His devotion could be misconstrued, his affection scorned, which is why it became imperative for Theo to shield himself from the world until the right person came along. 

So, he conformed, he adapted, he survived, but Theo knew it was only a matter of time before his carefully constructed mask slipped. 

In the back of a crowded restaurant, Theo swirled the glass of wine in his hand before taking a long sip. The waiter had recommended the red vintage, droning on and on about the quality of the 1978 Barolo Montorfino and the meticulous aging process of the Nebbiolo grapes to produce this particular bottle. Theo fought the urge to roll his eyes. He already knew all of this, given that the wine was produced by his family’s vineyard in the Italian countryside. 

The complex flavor danced on his tongue. On any other occasion, he might have savored the hints of cherry, roses, and truffle peeking through its rich-bodied profile, but Theo tasted nothing but ash in his mouth. Because across the rooftop sat the woman of his dreams, drinking and laughing and dining with another man. Theo gripped the stem of his glass until his knuckles turned white. 

Needless to say, the night was not going as Theo intended it to. It was supposed to be him feeding you little bites of tagliatelle, topping your wine off with a wink, and listening to your melodious voice recount silly anecdotes about yourself. Instead, Adrian fucking Pucey was blattering on like a bloody twat, failing to appreciate the goddess seated across from him. The stupid prick was probably too busy gauging whether or not he was going to get lucky tonight. As if Theo would ever let that happen. 

No, that simply wouldn’t do. 

Sure, he had enjoyed the game of cat and mouse between you over the past few months. Since the day you moved into the house next to his, there had been this constant push and pull between you. The flirtatious banter as he helped you carry your dresser into the foyer after he found you struggling in the yard, the freshly baked goods you presented to him as thanks after the fact, the shy way you smiled at him every time you crossed paths when you departed and arrived back home. 

Something awakened within him the second he laid eyes on you. Something dark, something dangerous, something that he thought was long buried in the depths of his depraved soul. 

It wasn’t all in his head. Hell, you had invited him in on that very first day. You wanted him there. You wanted him near you. You wanted him.

All the darkness that he tried so hard to push down seemed to resurface all at once. Suddenly, Theo found himself falling back into old old habits. Watching you through your bedroom window while you undressed, sneaking into your house while you were away at work, planting cameras in every room without your knowledge, and even going so far as stealing your lingerie. 

But Theo wasn’t stalking you. 

No.

He was merely keeping an eye on you. 

Clearly, you needed someone to look after you if you were putting your trust in a man like Adrian Pucey. You were too soft and sweet and innocent for this world. Theo wanted to protect you. In his eyes, Pucey was a threat to your relationship and there was only one way to deal with a threat — eliminate it. 

The opportunity presented itself after that sordid dinner. After dessert was served, Theo quietly slipped out ahead of the happy couple. Well, the two of you wouldn’t be happy for long. Not if he had anything to do with it. 

Surrounded by silence and darkness, Theo laid in wait until he heard the tell-tale sounds of the front door unlocking. He observed in quiet rage as Adrian kissed his girl. The door snicked shut, but the two of you barely noticed as you stumbled through the foyer, his lips sucking at your neck, his hands roaming underneath your dress, his cock pressing against your core as you mewled for him. Theo couldn’t stomach a second more of this. The sound of Pucey’s name falling from your lips was enough to awaken the monster within him. 

A sickening thud echoed through the house as Pucey dropped to the floor. With wide eyes, you scrambled in the darkness, blinking in disbelief at the sight before you. The silk strap of your dress fell from your shoulders at the abruptness of the attack. Your pupils, which were previously blown from desire, now shifted into fear. 

“T — Theo?” Disbelief colored your expression as you looked up at your neighbor. Dressed in all black, his tall and lithe form blended in with his surroundings. “What are you doing here?”

“You didn’t really think I’d let this prick weasel his way into your bed, did you?” 

You blinked in confusion. On the floor of your living room, Adrian nursed his broken nose, trying and failing to staunch the blood flowing through his fingers. 

“Do you know this asshole, Y/N?” 

“He’s my neighbor,” you answered. Theo’s face twisted in anger at your response. You cowered under his gaze and scooted backwards against the wall. “Theo, what’s going on? Why are you doing this?” 

Theo sneered. “Isn’t it obvious, bella?” Your blood ran cold when a flash of silver appeared in his hand. “I know why you went on this date tonight. You wanted me to fight for you, so here I am. I love you and I won’t let anyone keep us apart.”

“What are you talking about, Theo?” You cried as he stalked towards you. “I barely know you. We’re neighbors, just neighbors, that’s all.” You pleaded, begging for him to listen to reason. “Please, just stop this. You don’t have to do any of this.” 

“Shh, my sweet Y/N,” Theo cooed as he wiped a stray tear away with his thumb. His blue eyes bore into you with such intensity that it made you shiver. There was something lurking behind that dead eyed stare and you feared for whatever it might unleash. 

Theo caressed your cheek with reverence while you trembled in fear. “You just don’t know any better, cara mia. But don’t worry, I’ll show you how much I love you. I’ll protect you; I’ll keep you safe.” He pressed his forehead against yours. “I’m going to take care of this. He will never come between us again.” 

Before you could protest, Theo had already rounded on Adrian. The brunette threw his hands up as Theo pulled him up by his collar. “I almost feel sorry for you, you know,” Theo taunted. “You probably thought you were so smart, preying on someone as sweet and innocent as Y/N. You never deserved her.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Adrian retorted, crimson staining his dress shirt as he struggled against his captor’s hold. “It was just a few harmless dates.” 

“A few harmless dates?” Theo repeated in a mocking tone. “Christ, you can’t truly be that stupid, can you? You don’t even understand how lucky you are to have gotten the chance to be in her company. She’s a fucking goddess and you — “ Adrian groaned when Theo yanked his hair back to give him a proper view of you. “Well, you’re nothing.” 

“Look man, I don’t want any trouble. I didn’t know she had a boyfriend. I was just lookin for an easy fuck — “

Fury simmered in Theo’s gaze. The careless words that Adrian spoke cut you deep, but not nearly as deep as the blade that sliced his throat open. The crimson river flowing from Adrian’s neck bathed Theo in blood, covering his face, his hair, and his clothes. 

You screamed as Adrian slumped to the floor, his lifeless body discarded onto your cream rug as his vacant gaze stared at nothing. The gravity of his death sent a surge of adrenaline in your veins. You needed to get the fuck away, The instinct to survive kicked in and you darted for the door, but unfortunately, Theo was quicker. 

A strong arm wrapped around your waist, hauling you away from your only form of escape. You struggled in his hold, clawing and kicking and screaming as Theo dragged you through the living room. 

“You killed him!” You screamed while you continued thrashing. “He’s dead, you killed him, oh my god — “

“Don’t be like that, cara mia,” Theo said in a soothing voice. “I thought you would be happy. With our little problem out of the way, we can finally be together.” 

“You’re a fucking psychopath!” 

With a swift kick to the balls, Theo stumbled backwards which gave you time to frantically reach for your purse. The slick blood that coated the wooden floors now sullied your dress, but you pushed the thought away as you recovered your phone. As you tapped on the screen, it came alive with a bright light. With shaking hands, you tried to swipe up to dial emergency services, but the screen buzzed with static before completely dying out. 

“No!” You screamed in frustration as you pressed the dead screen over and over again. “No, no, no, this can’t be happening!” 

Behind you, Theo sighed and shook his head in disappointment. Crouching down before you, the warmth of his palm felt like a slap to the face as he cradled your jaw.

“You’ve been a bad girl, bella,” Theo purred. “I didn’t want to have to do this, but you’ve left me no choice.” 

Your eyes widened as he produced a set of handcuffs from his pocket. “No, please, you don’t have to do this. Just let me go and I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” 

“Let you go?” Theo repeated in a cold, menacing voice as he clamped the handcuffs over your wrists. “After all that I’ve done for you, do you really think I would be capable of just letting you go?” He tutted in disapproval as he tugged you towards the stairs. “You’re all mine now, you’re not going anywhere.” 

The short walk to your bedroom felt like a march towards death. You began to shake violently as Theo guided you towards the bed, instructing you to lie down as he tinkered with the handcuffs. Tears blurred your vision as your heart hammered against your ribcage. 

“Are you going to kill me?” you whispered. 

“Don’t be stupid,” Theo said with a scoff as he rearranged the cuffs and chained you to the bed. “You wouldn’t be any fun if you’re dead.” 

Fear gripped every fiber of your being in a chokehold. Theo leaned back and admired his work. The intensity of his gaze felt like a brand against your skin as he drank in the sight of you spread out for him. The silk of your dress was stained with blood, the fabric nearly see through from how soaked it was. 

“You’re such a pretty little thing all tied up like a present for me, principessa.” 

His blue eyes were nearly black as he gazed at you with unadulterated desire. The pale moonlight streaming through the window casted sinister shadows on his face. 

“If you’re not going to kill me, then what do you plan on doing?” 

“I’m so glad you asked,” Theo declared with a deranged smile as he brandished his knife. “I plan on worshipping every inch of your body.” The cold edge of his blade traced the curve of your jaw. “I plan on making you see God with my tongue, my fingers, my cock.” The knife continued its path down the valley of your breasts. “I plan on possessing you, owning you, and ruining you for every other man.” 

“You barely even know me,” you pleaded, shying away from the blade that now rested on the hem of your dress. “I’m not yours, Theo.” 

The air left your lungs all at once as his hand wrapped around your throat. The lack of oxygen made you dizzy and you grew limp against the bed, barely even registering the blade caressing your skin. 

“I’ll carve my name into your thigh if that’s what it takes to get it through your pretty little head that you are mine.” 

You coughed as he released his hold, disoriented by the sudden rush of air into your lungs. “Don’t touch me! Don’t fucking touch me, oh fuck —“ 

Your hips jerked at the sudden cold sensation between your legs. Theo watched in amusement as he pressed the hilt of his blade against your clothed core, drinking in the way you writhed underneath him. 

“What was that, bella?” Theo teased. “I can’t hear you over all that moaning.” 

Your cheeks burned with shame as you continued his ministrations against your clit. It was a purely physical response, but it felt like your own body was betraying you. This wasn’t supposed to feel good. You hated the way you reacted to his touch, his words, his gaze. You hated him. 

“You’re a sick fuck,” you yelled as you tugged at your restraints. Tears welled in your eyes again, but this time, you couldn’t tell if it was from fear or pleasure. “This is vile, this is evil. I hate you. I fucking hate you —“ 

Theo chuckled darkly as he tugged your panties to the side and slipped the hilt of his blade through your folds without warning. “Then why are you so fucking wet for me?” 

“I’m not!” In all your life, you had never felt more degraded and humiliated. The conflicting emotions warred in your mind, but the truth of the matter was that you had absolutely no control over your own arousal. “I’m not.” 

“You are,” Theo growled as the handle of his blade squelched in your slick. “But by all means, keep lying to yourself. In fact, I quite prefer it if you put up a fight. I like it rough.” 

You groaned, delirious with need as he fucked you with his knife. “When I make you cum, I know that I’ve earned it.” 

You bit down on your bottom lip until blood filled your mouth. The horror of the scene unfolding before you filled you with dread yet you couldn’t stop the moans and whines that escaped past your lips. When you looked up, Theo was transfixed by the sight of your greedy cunt taking his knife.

“That’s it, Y/N,” hummed Theo. “This will be a lot easier if you just stop fighting it. You want this. You want me.” 

“I — I don’t! I don’t want —“ 

“I —I don’t want,” Theo mocked. “How fucking pathetic. You can’t even finish that sentence without moaning.” He pulled out his knife and slid two fingers in without warning. His cruel laugh echoed in the bedroom when the sound of your slick filled the silence. “If you don’t want me, then why are you riding my fingers like this, hm?” 

There was no answer as he plunged the hilt of his knife into you again, stretching and filling you in the most delicious way. His thumb rubbed your sensitive bundle of nerves in tantalizing circles, pushing you towards the edge of pleasure. 

You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of an orgasm, but it couldn’t be helped. There was no stopping the intense pleasure that barrelled through your body. As you crested over the finish line, your vision went dark. The depravity of the act filled you with mortification and indignity. Theo, on the other hand, looked euphoric. 

“You’re so beautiful when you cum,” he whispered softly. 

You wanted to claw and scratch and hit him for the way he made you feel. Theo presented the knife to you with reverence. The blade was soaked in blood, but the hilt dripped with your cum. His tongue darted out and licked and lapped at your arousal with long, languid strokes as his eyes rolled back in euphoria. The way he moaned when he tasted you was obscene. 

“You taste so sweet,” Theo rasped in a choked groan. “Such a good girl for me.” 

This was beyond fucked up. 

Theo was beyond fucked up. 

You watched in alarm, waiting for disgust to overwhelm your senses, but it never came. Instead, your pussy clenched around nothing at the sight. What the fuck was wrong with you? 

Theo leaned over you, his brown curls brushing against your nose as he smirked. “Don’t I get a kiss as a reward for making you feel so good?” 

The absence of pleasure finally made you come to your senses. “Fuck you.” 

The depth of his blue eyes was swallowed by a void that threatened to suffocate you. The man before you transformed into a monster as he growled and held his knife against your throat. “Let me rephrase that,” he hissed as the blade nicked your skin. “If you don’t kiss me, I’ll slit your fucking throat.” 

You whimpered as the blade dug deeper into your neck, causing small droplets of blood to stain your sheets. Theo stared at you with malice, his face hovering a few inches from yours as he waited for your next move. His cool breath fanned over your skin while his lips ghosted over yours. 

“Please, Y/N?” Theo pouted as he blinked down at you through his thick, dark lashes. “Just one kiss, please.” 

It was apparent that he wanted you to make the first move. As if it would absolve him from this abhorrent act. As if it would exculpate him despite the threat he made on your life if you refused to comply. In some sick, twisted way, you knew that the second your lips touched his, Theo felt absolutely vindicated. 

The growl that crawled out of his throat was purely animalistic. It spoke of need, of desire, of lust that had simmered underneath the surface for far too long. The taste of you, soft and supple and sweet, was better than anything Theo could have ever imagined. His cock strained against his pants as he deepened the kiss, tongue sweeping over the seam of your lips to demand entrance. 

A part of you wanted to fight back, to pull away from him, but it was nearly impossible when he harshly grabbed your jaw and forced his way in. You opened for him reluctantly, but that was all he needed. Theo was the type of person to take a mile when given an inch. His hands roamed your body while his tongue massaged yours, moaning, panting, licking the roof of your mouth with unabashed glee. Theo squeezed your tits and gripped your hips and wrapped your legs around his waist. He felt like a dog in heat as he rutted himself against your clothed cunt. 

Fuck, he was so hard it hurt. 

Dazed and drunk with desire, Theo pulled away, his gaze sweeping over your kiss bitten lips and flushed cheeks. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” 

It was fucking horrible, horrendous, atrocious. You wanted the deepest pits of hell to open up and swallow you whole. Because that kiss had lit a fire in your belly despite your disgust for the man forcing himself on you. 

Before you could think twice, you reared back and spit right into his face. Theo blinked in surprise. You expected anger, but amusement greeted you instead. The motherfucker was enjoying this. 

“You’re a feisty thing, aren’t you?” Theo drawled as he unclasped his belt. The sight caused panic to grip you from all sides. “Don’t worry, principessa. I’ll fuck the fight right out of you. I will break you until you become the good girl that I know you can be.” 

“Theo please, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you sobbed and begged. “Don’t do this, please.” 

Theo chuckled darkly. “You’re not sorry,” he said as he cut your dress open with his blade. “But you will be.” 

Exposed and vulnerable, you struggled against your restraints as Theo trailed kisses down your torso. His lips were a searing brand against your skin, sucking and biting and marking your skin as though he was staking his claim on your body. His deft fingers unhooked your bra and his pupils were completely black as he ogled your chest. 

With his lips latched around your nipple, Theo blinked innocently up at you. “I’m so fucking in love with you,” he murmured as he flicked his tongue over the stiffened peak. “You make me crazy, Y/N.” 

You moaned as he sucked fervently, losing himself in the heat of your skin and the scent of your perfume. Roses and vanilla. Sweet and simple, just like his pretty girl. Theo groaned as he lavished your other nipple the same treatment. 

There was such reverence and awe in the way that he touched you. For a brief moment, you forgot how truly vile he was because the second his fingers slipped inside of you and curved against that sweet spot, every ounce of common sense abandoned you. 

“I bet Adrian would’ve never gotten you this wet, huh?”

Your eyes snapped open at the reminder. Somewhere underneath you, Adrian’s lifeless body was still bleeding out on your wooden floors. “You’re fucking awful — o —oh —“ 

The involuntary whimper that crawled up your throat was pathetic, but you couldn’t help it. Theo had ripped your panties to shreds and positioned the head of his cock over your folds, teasing and taunting at your entrance as you continued to resist. 

“Theo, Theo, please,” you pleaded as he began to breach your cunt. You kicked your legs in the air and tilted your hips away from him, anything to keep him away from you, but it didn’t work. 

Theo held your hips down, his large hands forming bruises on your skin. “Stay fucking still,” he growled against your neck before biting down hard. 

Shocked, you stopped struggling and cried as the sting broke skin. Theo took the opportunity to push the head of his cock inside of you, making your eyes water from the sheer length of him. He was too big, it didn’t fit, it fucking hurt. But the desperate pleas seemed to fall on deaf ears as Theo fully sheathed himself in your warmth. 

“So fucking tight,” Theo grunted as he slowly dragged his cock out of your pussy, entranced at the way your bodies melded together, watching your cunt clench around nothing before slamming all the way in. Your teeth clattered together from the force. “Dio mio, you feel so fucking good. I want to ruin you.” 

Once more, he pulled out and pushed into your warmth, savoring the way you squeezed around him. The sensation made you dizzy with desire. Try as you might to fight it, every breach of his cock only stretched and filled you even more, the filthy sound of your pussy squelching with every thrust echoing in the room. 

“Wanted this for so long,” Theo grunted. “You have no idea what it’s been like for me, cara mia.” His hips snapped against your ass while he drove deeper and deeper, thick cock kissing the tip of your cervix. “But now I finally get to have you all to myself.” 

Your knees buckled, every brush of his cock within your snug walls weakening your resolve as he fucked you into the mattress. His pace was relentless, punishing, and it was all you could do to lose yourself in him completely. 

“Don’t fight it, bella.” Theo murmured as he hiked your legs up over his shoulders. “I could be so good to you.” He punctuated his statement with a slam of his hips. “I know everything about you. Probably better than you know yourself. I’ve watched, I’ve waited, I’ve wanted.” Another slam caused you to writhe and arch your back off the bed. “No one else could ever love you like I do.” 

A breathy moan pushed its way past your lips without your consent. Self-loathing made you flush with embarrassment; your body was betraying you in the worst way as your own slick dripped down your thighs while Theo angled your hips to sink in deeper. He had spoken true about knowing you better than you knew yourself, because he seemed to know how to caress you, how to kiss you, how to command you until you were teetering off the edge once again. 

His long fingers circled your clit, stroking the sensitive bud in the exact same way that he had watched you touch yourself over the past few months. Theo was diligent in every sense of the word; his studious nature pushed him to perfection. The focus in which he devoted into pleasuring you was singular. He was obsessive and possessive; he was determined to make this good for you. His pretty girl deserved nothing but the best. 

“You can’t deny that we’re a perfect fit,” he murmured, dead-eyed gaze drinking in the sight of him slipping in and out of you. You tried to avert your gaze, but Theo gripped your chun and forced you to watch. “Look how well you’re taking me. It’s like we were made for each other, my love.”

Words failed you at the heat of the moment and even if you regained the ability to speak, you wouldn’t know what to say. Theo took your silence for submission, his lips pressed against yours, tongue sweeping over your bottom lip while he pounded into you. 

The instinct to fight dimmed with each urgent thrust, buried deep within the recesses of your mind. All you could do was moan in pleasure and Theo eagerly drank in every gasp and pant and whimper, studying your face as though he was committing every detail to memory.

“Please, please,” you panted. You weren’t quite sure whether you were begging him to stop or urging him to continue, but either way, Theo seemed to know exactly what you needed. 

His kisses were open mouthed and filthy, swallowing your protests with the flick of his tongue. You jerked when Theo slapped your pussy, chuckling against your mouth before he kneaded his thumb against your tender nub harder and faster. 

“Theo —“ The realization that your climax was near filled you with both excitement and indignation. 

“Be a good girl and come for me, Y/N.” 

You clenched as Theo squeezed your throat in his fist, momentarily robbing you of oxygen. Somehow its absence intensified the sensations. The combination of Theo pushing his cock into you again and again while his thumb stroked your clit harder and harder sent you barreling over the edge. Waves of pleasure crashed over you, making your legs shake and your walls spasm around his cock. 

“Oh fuck,” Theo cursed, his resolve close to breaking. “Just like that, cara mia. Squeezing me so tight, milking my fucking cock dry.” 

Stars burst behind your lids as his balls slapped against your clit, coaxing yet another orgasm out of you. Your mind went fuzzy with static. A faint ringing echoed in your ears while you trembled and convulsed. 

“Such a good girl,” Theo grunted as he chased after his own pleasure. You were limp and boneless underneath him, unable to respond save for a pathetic whimper. “I’m going to fill this pretty pussy up with my cum, bella. You’re going to let me, aren’t you?” 

You started to shake your head, but Theo paid the action no mind. “Take it, cara mia,” he said forcefully. “Take my cock, take my heart, take all of me.” 

Your tits jiggled as he fucked you through his own orgasm, his thrusts growing erratic as he spilled his thick, hot cum inside of you. His eyes rolled back at the thought of filling you and stuffing you full of his seed. It overflowed past your sensitive, puffy folds and dripped down your thighs. Even when he pulled his softening cock out of you, Theo made sure to push it all back in with his fingers. You whimpered at the sensitivity between your legs as he leaned back to admire his work. 

Theo seemed to take pity on you, tutting at the red circles around your wrist. “M’gonna take the cuffs off now, okay, bella?” 

You nodded, trembling slightly when he finally unchained you from the bed. Theo cooed over your raw wrists, kissing and fawning over the sensitive skin. Taking full advantage of the distraction, you snatched the knife Theo had carelessly discarded by his thigh and drove the blade into his shoulder. 

Theo hissed in surprise, his blue eyes widening. “You fucking stabbed me,” he declared incredulously. “You really fucking stabbed me.” 

“Oh my God —“ you sobbed, regret flooding you all at once as your hands shook over the blade. “Theo, I didn’t mean — fuck, are you okay —“ 

The shock caused you to let your guard down, tears streaming down your face as the realization of what you had just done crashed over you. Despite the blade sticking out from his shoulder, Theo seamlessly switched positions so that you were straddling his lap. 

Your right hand was frozen in place, still holding the blade while shaking violently. You expected anger and fear, but Theo only flashed you a lovesick smile as he wrapped his slender fingers around your wrist. “Don’t be shy, Y/N,” Theo teased. “You can do better than that, can’t you?” 

You screamed as Theo drove the blade further into his shoulder, the wound splattering a rain of blood all over your face and hair. “Stop, stop it! Don’t. Theo, stop, please —”

Theo tilted his head and examined you with a curious expression. His gaze softened as you sobbed and trembled in his lap. In his silky voice, he whispered soothing words in your ear and stroked your back to calm your growing hysteria. 

“Aw, you’re worried about me? That’s cute, bella.” The timbre of his voice almost sounded proud. “I wouldn’t waste your tears, though. I'll be fine. It’s just a silly little nick. Besides, now that I’ve had you, it won’t be that easy to get rid of me.”

You gasped as his hardness poked against your ass. How could he be fucking hard at a time like this? There was goddamn knife sticking out of his shoulder, for fuck’s sake!

“Look at you, crying over me.” His voice was husky with need as he rolled his erection against you. It seemed that not even a murder attempt could faze the man underneath you. If anything, Theo seemed turned on by it. God, he was so fucked up. “It’s a good sign, bella. It means that you care. To think, just moments ago, you said you hated me, but here you are concerned for my well being.” 

You squeezed your eyes shut, refusing to listen to him speak. It only confused you more. Theo kissed your tears away and caressed your cheek. His violation of you earlier was a direct contradiction of the way he handled you with such gentleness and care, almost like you were something precious to him. You couldn’t reconcile the warring versions of him in your mind. 

“Please, stop,” you murmured as you tried to cover your ears. “You’re confusing me.”

“There’s nothing to be confused about,” he stated matter-of-factly. “Clearly, you care about me. Otherwise, you would have aimed for my heart.” 

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” you whispered in a broken sob. “I just wanted — I wanted —” 

In truth, you didn’t know what you wanted. It was all too traumatic and taxing to fully process. Theo pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Shh, hush now, principessa. I told you, I’ll take care of you. You never have to worry about anything ever again. You can trust me, I promise. I would never let anything or anyone hurt you. I’ll kill anyone who tries. I love you so fucking much.” 

Theo gently pried your wrists away and kissed your fingertips. “You don’t love me yet,” he admitted in a wistful tone. “But you will, bella.” 

[girlkisser13]

dating leo valdez would include

• leo is the most southern gentleman you could ask for. he may be flirty and sometimes a bit inappropriate, but his manners are impeccable.

• when you take him to meet your parents, he’s constantly calling them "sir" and "ma’am".

• he’s always opening doors for you, whether it’s the car door or the entrance to a restaurant.

• he always insists on paying for meals, wanting to treat you every chance he gets.

• expect to receive flowers from him regularly; he loves surprising you with a handpicked bouquet.

• dating leo means you’ll constantly be laughing. he’s always cracking jokes, pulling pranks, and doing his best to keep you smiling, even on your worst days.

• he likes to play with your hands as if he’s tinkering with something.

• leo isn’t one to sit still, so expect spontaneous adventures. whether it’s flying on festus or a road trip to some random place he’s heard about, he loves exploring with you by his side.

• PETNAMES IN SPANISH>>>

• leo is naturally warm, so you’ll never be cold when you’re around him. cuddling with him feels like snuggling up with a cozy blanket, and he’ll always be there to wrap you in his arms when you need comfort.

• he knows what it’s like to feel alone, so he’s incredibly supportive of you and your dreams. he’s your biggest cheerleader, always encouraging you to pursue your passions and standing by your side through any challenges.

• SPEAKING THROUGH MORSE CODE WITH HIM??? specifically when you're in bed, and the both of you are too tired to talk, so you feel him tap "i love you" against your skin and you send the message back.

• he’s also a surprisingly good cook. you two might have fun cooking together, even if it means dealing with the occasional kitchen mishap.

• leo’s mind is always racing with ideas, so he often stays up late working on projects. these late nights lead to deep, meaningful conversations where you both share your hopes, fears, and dreams.

• he tries to act all suave, but if you randomly kiss him he WILL catch on fire.

• he loves simply being in your presence, enjoying the comfort of being in the same room together, even if you're both doing your own things.

• he doesn’t necessarily get jealous, but rather insecure. he’d feel like he can’t compete with the guy that you’re talking to and that you deserve better. he tries to push those feelings down, but you usually notice and comfort him.

• leo is VERY attentive, especially when it comes to you. at this point, it's like he knows you better than you know yourself. like when he goes shopping without you and he sees something he thinks you'd like, and it ends up being something you've been wanting for the past few weeks? at this point he might be reading your mind.

• this man cannot keep a secret to save his life (except the fact that he loves you and that he wants to share everything with you). <33

[unsolicited-opinions]

The Revolution Will Not Be Aestheticized

Being Gen X is weird. Mine will be the last generation to remember a world without the internet and was also the first to wholly embrace it.

Gen X knows what life was like before social media...but has still mastered the art of passive-aggressively liking posts as a form of communication.

We're a small generation, but I'd argue we have a unique perspective and I want to point out something which I think is more obvious, more visible to Gen X, than it is to Millennials and Gen Z.:

Enjoying pop culture used to be something you did. Now, it helps define who you are.

I was obsessed, as a kid, with Marvel comics, Dr. Who, and Babylon 5. Friends had weekly get-togethers to watch the X-Files or The Simpsons. Liking pop culture wasn't unusual. You could like it passionately, obsessively even.

But it wasn’t your identity.

If you outgrew an interest, it didn’t seem like a personal transformation to you or to your friends. It was just...what you're really interested in right now. The stakes were low.

Today, it seems like your fandom is often your flag. It’s in your bio next to your gender identity, orientation and neurotype. (A couple of those are in mine, too).

I'm trying to say that there is a very real difference between being really into the music of Taylor Swift and being a Swiftie.

There's still plenty of discussionabout what we love, but now it helps defines who we are.

I might be a Little Monster and in the BTS Army, right? And a Whovian Cumberbitch. These are signifiers not of interest, but of identity.

That shift from consumption to identity may seem subtle, but it has profound consequences.

It turns preferences into moral positions.

If your fandom defines who you are, any critique of it feels like a critique of you. And if your fandom’s antagonist gets a redemption arc which displeases you? That’s not character growth, that’s betrayal. (You've seen people behave this way in fandoms. It's a parasocial relationship with fictional characters.)

Now take that operating system - tribal, emotional, morally binary - and plug it into political activism. What do you get?

You get the US "Pro-Palestinian" movement circa 2024-25.

To be clear: Gaza is a humanitarian catastrophe. Palestinians deserve dignity, safety, and justice.

Critiquing how Americans engage with this issue is not a dismissal of its urgency. It’s just asking whether our engagement is real...or if it is performative roleplay and treated like a fandom.

(Below: This fanart would be just as absurd if Snape was holding an Israeli flag.)

Because much of what’s happening on social media and college campuses doesn’t look like activism. It looks like fandom.

And not in a metaphorical sense. I mean literally.

Moral binarism:

Palestinians are coded as pure underdog heroes. Israelis are assigned the role of irredeemable villains. There's no space for Israeli trauma, Palestinian complexity, or the millions caught in-between. Just like fandom, nuance gets in the way of the story.

Costumes and catchphrases:

Keffiyehs are worn like people used to wear Hogwarts House scarves.

Slogans like "from the river to the sea" function not as political demands as much as they are ritual, social affirmations.

You chant them because they’re what you say to stay in good standing.

Canon enforcement:

Say the wrong thing (acknowledge Hamas's atrocities, quote an Israeli peace activist...) and you’re cast as a villain. Activist spaces now police ideological purity the same way fandoms used to (still do?) flame you for liking the wrong ship.

Emotional scripting:

TikToks from Gaza with moody filters and sad piano music mimic fan edits and commenters post, "I’m crying, I’m shaking," because that’s the expected affect. It's parasocial politics. And it's all about showing their feelings.

Lore and side quests:

Protestors debate which historical analogies are "correct" based on what's most satisfying. The create infographics that function like lore wikis, and design protest aesthetics with merch-tier detail. Some organizers even "brand" their encampments like pop-up installations.

Want a kiffiyeh with which to display your ideological alignment? Guy Christensen sells them through a link in his bio.

This is fandom logic in political form: it's identity-driven, emotionally performative, virality-optimized, branded and monetized.

The problem is that Fandom has no endgame. Fandom is forever. There’s no "solving" Game of Thrones - you just keep angrily resenting that awful final season.

Politics needs resolution. If you apply the fandom model to real-world conflict, peace becomes anticlimactic. Moral ambiguity feels like betrayal. Ceasefires don’t trend on social media.

Look at how the "pro-Palestinian" movement won't condemn Hamas regardless of the people of Gaza marching en masse to demand Hamas leave Gaza.

When the identity matters more than the cause, the cause becomes a backdrop.

Such "activists" center their feelings of righteousness rather than centering the lives at stake.

Performative grief displaces material action.

Sharing content becomes the work.

Listening becomes optional.

Look at how Irish protestors embraced the term “Paddystinian" - blending diasporic solidarity with performative identity. Or consider how Peter Tatchell was arrested at a pro-Palestinian march for opposing both Israel and Hamas - and was immediately denounced online not for being wrong, but for deviating from the script.

This isn’t activism. It’s cosplay with real-world stakes.

Real political work is boring, frustrating, and morally dissonant. It demands strategic thinking, coalition-building, and compromise. It doesn’t fit neatly into a feed, and it rarely makes you feel emotionally whole, but it’s the only thing that changes anything.

If you’ve grown up in fandom, you’re not broken or unserious. You’re just swimming in the water you were raised in.

What they need to ask themselves, though, is: Are we trying to help, or are we trying to feel right?

Because the people on the ground don’t need you to wear your Guy Christensen kiffiyeh and recite the ideologically approved positions you don't understand. They don't need your fan art. They don't need you to harass Jews online.

They need peace, they need dialogue, and they need all of us to stop treating war like content.

[stepmarchen]

Couple Coding in ASM

So there's an interesting thing I noticed about Orka's color coding in ASM and the way it changes between different interactions.

For example, JerShu moments are commonly set during early dawn. There's a cool blue from the moonlight that shades the two, adding a sense of quiet mystique to their interactions.

Maybe it's to invoke a dream-like state where Shuri is stripped bare of her responsibilities and Jeremy is just a boy who misses his parents oh, so much. During the day, there's so much commotion and stress but when they're together at night, it's quiet and lonely, with only the moon watching over them. Because when morning comes, they're forced to return back to their normal lives like a Cinderella story.

On the other hand, NoShu moments are bright like a burning sun. It's a passionate watercolor of orange, pinks, and reds that bloom as they stare into each other's eyes.

It's pure romance the way you couldn't be sure whether the burn on their cheeks was because of the warm heat of the sun or because of something else. For a couple individually driven towards death, Nora and Shuri are experiencing living for the first time, when they're together. The way the light gleams on each other like they're always discovering new things about one another is just so perfectly lovely.

And then there's TheoShu. Theo and Shuri often interact in the morning, like a icy shock to the system. For a man plagued with too much guilt to sleep and a woman trapped in her nightmares, what's a more eerie wake-up call?

TheoShu as a morning motif is so interesting because we're faced with Theo who acts like he's still stuck in a dream where he's fated to be with Shuri and Shuri, who is trying to run away from those dreams and move on with her day. They're never quite on the same page, like the feeling you get when you're debating on getting up on a Monday morning.

Finally. RiShu. I find that Richelieu and Shuri are always in a strange state of limbo when they stumble upon each other. A space that only they know, where the light doesn't shine until Shuri walks in.

Richelieu is a man that exists in the shadows, lurking around in the dark underbrush. But he can't help but be drawn to that woman intruding upon that dark forest he lives in. She gleams like a holy light piercing the black darkness. Shuri knows what it's like to die in that forest and Richelieu wants to know what path she took to get there.

[mattsangel]

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫!𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉… matt is so obsessed with you, he becomes your stalker.

stalker!matt who spent days following you from afar, learning your every move, from the way you speak so passionately about the things you love, to the way your long hair flutters around you when you walk.

stalker!matt who learned to code, in order to find every single personal information that is about you online

stalker!matt who spends his nights going through his private folder, his personal shrine of pictures of you that he got from social media, whether it’s from your accounts or from your family and friends. 

stalker!matt whose favorite pictures of you are the candid ones he took while you had no idea someone was even watching…

stalker!matt who will look through your bedroom window at night, watching you do your homework, read your book or walk out of the shower

stalker!matt who will sit next to you in class and not say a word to you, as though he didn’t get off to the thought of you, in your lace lingerie, every night.

stalker!matt who sneaks into your house when no one is home, to steal a pair of your underwear from your room and carefully slips out, after spraying some of your vanilla perfume on himself, branding his body with your scent.

stalker!matt who hurts any guy that dares coming near you (you belong to him)

stalker!matt who has been watching you so much, he knows that the innocent, good girl persona is all an act

stalker!matt who records you masturbating to listen to it every time he needs to get off

staler!matt who knows exactly how you sound when you get off and dreams he was the one causing those sounds

stalker!matt who will follow you around at a party, making sure no one comes near you and will slip a piece of paper in the back pocket of your denim skirt without you noticing. until you get home and find the note that says: “you looked gorgeous tonight, dollface.”

stalker!matt who starts communicating with you through paper notes left in your textbooks, locker and eventually in your bedroom window.

stalker!matt who one day, will finally ask you to meet at night, near an abandoned house and will wait for you wearing a ghostface mask (he knows this is your biggest fantasy)

stalker!matt who will hide his identity from you until he knows that you're trapped in his vicious cycle.

© mattsangel

𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆; let me know if you want more of stalker matt… he lives in my head rent free (especially with his mask).

[star-redfiles]

imagining sakusa with an equally meticulous and cautious partner; and someone who’s just as blunt as he is.

it scared sakusa’s teammates to death when they first met his partner. the brutally honest comments they faced, now double the amount, was almost too much to handle. even to this day, komori still finds it eerie how identical their expressions are when they see something they find disgusting. it’s like they mirrored each other, he thought. they’re both just as careful and diligent in taking care of their own health, as well. they’ve made dates out of their bi-weekly cleaning days. and both of them work equally hard, sharing that persistence and stubbornness to never leave things unfinished. you can always trust this couple to get things done.

beware of making a competition out of anything with them around, though. it would be like putting two flames together. both of them are incredibly competitive, and they'd burn brightly with each other. now, if they were back in highschool together, their classmates would always want either one of them on their teams, whether it be for regular classroom or physical activities. things always got exciting whenever they were pit against each other. on the other hand, getting both of them on your team was a guaranteed win. post-timeskip though, whenever msby or the jnt has any sort of team bonding activities involving partners and family, everyone knows not to get on their bad side. they both get an equally sinister glint in their eyes. if you're teamed up against them, you'd be lucky to come out alive.

even though they burn with equal passion, imagine that sakusa’s partner is just a bit brighter than he is. just because you’re a realist doesn’t mean you can’t be cute about it. they’d colour-code everything with stickers, even sorting the masks, medicines, and vitamin bottles in their shared apartment into adorable little patterned baskets. they have brightly coloured hand sanitisers covered in stickers attached to their bags and even got one for kiyoomi. his teammates would see the almost 2-meter tall athlete carrying around a cactus-shaped hand sanitiser to practice and start teasing him. that is, until his partner comes up from behind him and sends a death stare their way, promptly shutting them up.

so imagine them, a masked couple standing in the corner of a crowded room, facing only each other while avoiding everyone else. imagine the two of them whispering among themselves as they’re pressed against the walls (and each other) with their hands in their pockets. and imagine sakusa’s usual grimace due to the crowd replaced by an almost-smile while they’re talking, maybe even a laugh escaping him.

his partner was almost exactly like him, but with just the pop of colour he needed in life.

[dearmariposa]

One Night Stand | pt 1

Buzzed. oh, you're absolutely buzzed. The resonating throb of the bass pulses within, dazzling lights paint kaleidoscopic patterns across your vision. The scent of alcohol and sweat fills the air, as the hem of your dress flirts with rebellion, rising with every fleeting opportunity. The night, undeniably, is in its youthful embrace.

As the echoes of your heels gently resonate through the crowd, you realize you've lost your friends. Perhaps one is entwined in a gratifying exchange, savoring the taste of passion, while the other might be surrendering to the merciless shots of tequila, expelling every drop consumed over the past three hours. Despite your own senses dancing on the edge of a cliff right now, you're still eager to find both of them and finally leave this place. Now that you reek of cologne, sweat, cigarettes, and every possible pungent scent to ever exist for mankind.

Stumbling, you make your way towards the bathroom. Retrieving your cell phone, revealing the ungodly hour – 1:48 a.m. "Fuck, talk about starting the new year right huh?" A muttered exclamation escapes your lips. With your phone pressed against your ear in a desperate attempt to call for your friends, the void of unanswered calls becomes the soundtrack to your fleeting optimism. After several calls, you abandon the idea of going home and walking out of the bathroom, squeezing yourself through the line as faint alarming noises are heard from the men's bathroom. Low grunts followed by whispered moans.

Seated at the bar, your feet aching, downing another shot of God knows what, given by the bartender, you made your way back to the dance floor. You find yourself dancing to the rhythmic pulse of the music in an attempt to let loose and forget all the stress and depravity rotting inside you for the past year. Besides, when else would you have the chance to unleash yourself, it's a rare occasion.

In the hallowed whispers of nightlife, there's truth concealed from youthful ears and its intoxicating rendezvous. Another truth kept concealed is the magic of alcohol and how much it can alter a person. Your dress strap delicately slips, blush blossoms on your cheeks, the warmth of intoxication coursing through your veins. An unfamiliar silhouette converges, pressing against yours, setting aflame a burning sensation between your thighs.

Moments stretched into an embedded memory until a low breath brushed against the curve of your neck. Instant shivers shot down your spine, a rising blaze of sensation. His face and form remained veiled in the shadows, yet you found yourself immersed in the depths of his essence, a scent that enveloped you, clouding your consciousness. Perhaps it was the music or your pounding headache, but you loved it, the intoxicating chemistry between you and this handsome stranger, you wanted more. No. You yearn for more.

His hands traveled every inch of your figure, from one place to another until they reached the bottom of your stomach. At that moment, a silent alarm echoed within – a code red pulsating in your thoughts. Amidst the haze of your fading senses, you discern that this will only lead to 2 roads. One is the possibility of this man being remarkable in bed. Two, a dismay of regret, a potential aftermath of chlamydia. Where strands of regret may intertwine with your hair in the week to unfold; and he’s horrendous in bed.

Yet, what recourse does a woman, starved for affection, possess in such situations? Certainly not the ability to make sound decisions. Thus, with vanishing sanity, you moved, turning your gaze only to encounter the man with a mischievous grin plastered on his face. His features blurred in the throbbing lights, whether a trick of the strobes or your own lack of sobriety remains uncertain. All that is certain is his towering figure, eyes sharp like obsidian or perhaps the hues of oakwood, lips naturally tinted in rosy plumpness, a nose bridge sculpted to envy, and hair as luscious as the depths of his eyes. A vision so enticing unfolds before you. Your heart quickens its pace as he, suddenly speaks. “Didn’t realize you were sober enough to drool over me like that, princess.”

In mere moments of his voice, you transitioned from drunk to tipsy. Awareness heightened, yet self-evasively distant. His presence lingered in your thoughts, the idea of him inches deep inside you occupying your mind, especially when your bodies entangled, the trail of his cologne weaving a seductive spell. “It would be a shame to waste a face like yours, sir,” you uttered, your arms wrapping his neck, causing his grasp to rest on your waist. Familiar butterflies fluttered with each passing heartbeat. As lips hovered in proximity, you sensed his breath, his hold on your waist intensifying, tension escalating between the two of you. This isn’t supposed to be a game of self-restraint, where the person who kisses the other would lose. But now that it has come to this, it is rather thrilling.

“My place is around here.” You offer a devil’s invitation to this enigmatic stranger who has been undressing you with his eyes for the entire night. You’ve lured him. You’re impatient. You’re ready to turn the city into a backdrop, to a night of forbidden passion and let the moonlight reveal secrets that were meant to stay hidden. Secrets like the image of how you’d like this man to ruin you. Now, all he needs to do is bring the images to life.

[antisocialsharky]

Hi, I would like some tips on how to write a romantic relationship between two characters with ASPD. They both have problems with controlling their emotions, aggression in particular, and they both can't admit their mistakes. I like this idea and would like to hear your ideas on this topic.

Hi, thanks for asking! ^^

So you'll of course have to adjust this depending on the type of society you're writing and what defines your characters outside of ASPD and all that jazz, but with that dynamic, I'd say you might be doing it well if you:

• write explosive conflicts, since trouble controlling emotions, especially if its on both sides, will absolutely clash and cause emotionally loaded arguments! screaming, getting verbally nasty, getting physically nasty...all works! triggers should be sort of related to trauma/bad experiences or just stuff that overwhelms them in general? vulnerability/intimacy or lack thereof setting off arguments works rather well too actually!

• if they both cant outright admit their mistakes, you could have them show it in others ways, such as bringing the other person something they like, doing something they said they wouldn't do, doing something sorta reckless to make up for it, etc.

• it would potentially also work well if you have them defend each other rather passionately? the typa "having to hold them back by the jacket to keep them from jumping the person who made fun of their partner" vibe? cus rare bonds aka that person means something to you and volatile emotions, will mix into boiling over and wanting to defend what was threatened I guess?

• if they aren't the type to show affection via words or whatever, you can write their love in the sort of way, where they go out of their way to keep certain symptoms at bay for the other person? or where they offer to be the relief for the other persons symptoms...that works too

• I suppose you could probably also write conflicts/problems into this, where the solution is hella easy and it could be solved in seconds, if only they actually talked to each other and were able to be a bit vulnerable!

• Depending on whether or not they're actively engaging in breaking the law, you can have them be the "lets break shit together, we thrive in being freely us" type of couple? Where they kinda fuel each others symptoms, where they are sorta toxic and either push each other over the edge, or save each other from falling down

• I'll be honest, the first thing that actually popped in my head here is: hate sex. lots of hate sex.

Thats just what I can think of right now, it will depend on what other symptoms/characteristics they have, what you aspire for their character development, etc! Have you ever read "Kiss the Villain" by Rina Kent? One character from the main couple has pretty much canon ASPD and the other is sorta ASPD coded (imo) and they both sort of struggle with this stuff? Well or "Sick Bargain" by Nordika Night, which is a toxic love where they find comfort in sickness, if thats the vibe you're going for. I felt those two relationships represent best how I feel about my own ASPD (tho they arent perfect ofc and not free from ableism).

[soobinieswife]

──★ ˙ ̟🐇 Clause four: never fall in love with your rival

Chapter 1: Yunjin's betrayal

wc: 8.8k

If Choi Soobin didn’t exist, Yn would be the top of the class, and a lot less stressed. That’s her fantasy, something that lives rent free in her head every time she imagines what paradise feels like. 

But unfortunately, what happens in her imagination stays in her imagination. He did exist. And right now, he was sitting two rows away with a smug little smirk on his face while her presentation ended in applause.

Yn didn’t notice him at first, she was focused on the fact that she delivered her assignment and felt a big relief. She’d spent a month doing a deep dive into how popular culture, specifically Korean, contributes to diplomacy through soft power –she knew it was good, it had theory, structure and even color-coded citations. 

It was perfect. 

When the clapping stopped, Professor Kim adjusted his glasses and laced his fingers, nodding at her with a smile. “Great job, Miss. I can tell you did exhaustive research on Korean culture. The structure of your work is polished and connects well to International Relations theory. Your explanation of soft power was also very clear. Does anyone have a question or a comment?”

Of course it was.

The class went silent for a few seconds after someone raised his hand. Yn sighted. Of course it was Soobin, it’s always him and his desire to ruin everything. 

“Actually, sir, i have a lot of things i’d like to point out,” Soobin said, his eyes scanning his notes like he was preparing to deliver a TED Talk. “I think it’s a bit reductive to frame the Korean Wave as a soft power success story without framing the structural economic strategy behind it,” he said, flipping casually through his notes–he didn’t write anything though. “The government invested millions, it was a coordinated strategy, that’s more neoliberal policy than soft power.”

Soobin smirked, already happy, and titled his head slightly like he was trying to sound curious instead of smug. “Also, your work seems more like a celebration than a research. And don't get me wrong, I love K-pop. But how do you actually separate your personal enthusiasm from academic interpretation? This seems biased.”

Yn clenched her jaw. She knew Soobin, or that’s what she thought. He’s intelligent (but she is smarter), and very ambitious (though not as much as she is). She should’ve known that he’d do something like that just to mess with her. But she didn’t, and now she finds herself in this position. 

It is embarrassing to make a mistake in front of a room full of people. She hates failing, more than anything. But this isn’t that.

He’s not going to win this.

“Thank you for your input, Soobin.” Yn replied, sugar coated. “I think it’s ironic coming from someone who once quoted a K-drama in a policy paper. But since we are doing this, if you’d been listening, you’d know I did address the government investment. Please, strategic funding is related to diplomatic impact.”

Silence. “And when it comes to what you call ‘personal biases’ admiration doesn’t call analysis, it motivates it. I addressed 47 sources, all of them were clear, cited, and I made sure to ground every claim in data. That’s it, things work better when you're passionate about it.”

Soobin leaned back, arms crossed. “Okay. But can we really call it soft power if it’s just state-sponsored branding? Isn’t that manufactured influence? And if you already love K-pop so much, how can I– we trust you’re not filtering everything through that lens?”

“Everything is manufactured, Soobin. Soft power might sound sweet. It’s attractive, but don’t forget that’s how we make people do what we want.” She was dying inside, but her smile was shining in place. “Also, if you’re asking whether I'm capable of critical thought, then maybe you weren’t listening. As usual.”

He was about to fight back, until professor Kim cleared his throat. “All right. Very thoughtful exchange. Let’s save the rest for office hours.”

“Soobin, that was really disrespectful,” Yeonjun said, frowning as they were walking towards the cafeteria to get lunch. Beomgyu was beside them, quiet but clearly listening. “You two spent too much time talking, we could use that time to talk about real issues. Even Professor Kim looked done with you.”

“If he was so bothered, he would stop us.” Soobin muttered, running a hand through his hair. “Besides, that’s not important. The real issue is that I was trying to embarrass her but I failed. And she knows it.”

Beomgyu blinked, surprised. “So you admit you lost?”

Soobin ignored him, and continued. “And what about professor Kim? Of course he’s going to back her, she works with him. That’s the only reason he thinks her presentation is good. It is politics. Like professor Min.”

Kim Namjoon is one of the most respected academics in the International Relations field–the academic superstar that every IR student worshipped. The one who picked her, and he hadn’t even made the final shortlist. He spent two months in denial before Professor Min offered him the TA position out of nowhere, and ever since there, the scoreboard between them only got worse. Ridiculous. 

“You literally studied her topic just to take her down, “Yeonjun muttered, “That’s not academic, that’s obsession. You know she has feelings too, right?”

“Who’s side are you on?” Soobin stopped and looked at his friend, face tight with anger. 

Losing an argument in front of a class was humiliating, but not having his friends back him up? That’s even worse, and Soobin was pretty convinced Yeonjun was only saying this because he’d started dating Yn’s friend. 

His life was a mess. He was really expecting them to break up soon. Yeonjun is a busy guy, and it wouldn’t take long before his schedule ruined everything. But even then, all Soobin could think about was how Yn reacted to the news.

Was she angry too? Was she okay with it? Did this mean they were supposed to get along now?

No, that would never happen. 

He couldn’t care less about her.

“This ain’t about taking sides, Soobin!” he raised his voice. “I’m your friend, which is why I’m telling you that today you were gross. You’re the top student in our year, everyone knows that. But every time Yn’s involved, you act like your IQ drops twenty points.” Yeonjun paused, then poked Soobin in the chest. “So let me put it in terms you’ll actually listen to: if you keep feeding this rivalry, it stops being strategic. She’s running the show.”

Soobin opened his mouth, then closed it. No smug reply, no comeback.

“He has a point,” Beomgyu finally spoke and they continued walking. “You competing with her makes you look like you doubt your own skills. But honestly, if you’d team up? Unstoppable.”

Yeonjun smirked. “I still say it’s unresolved sexual tension.”

“Yeah, right,” Beomgyu answered and they both laughed, Soobin rolled his eyes.

“You’re only saying that because of that stupid op-ed.” He replied, mad. “I’d rather cut my damn dick off than think of her that way.” 

They stepped into the cafeteria, Soobin spotted Hueningkai and Arin already eating, waving them over. He and Beomgyu headed straight to the table, but Yeonjun slipped away quietly. He was having lunch with his girlfriend today.

He was nervous. Even though they’d been dating for a month, they’d only made it official two weeks ago, and this was his first time meeting her friends. Yunjin had joined his group a few times and it seemed to fit in effortlessly, but for him, this was new. Part of him believed they’d like him, he was sociable, charming and likeable. But he wasn’t sure if Yn–her best friend–would be thrilled about this.

When he told Soobin he might unconsciously like Yn, he meant it. He knew Soobin was competitive, and that his need to be the best was wrapped up in wanting to please his parents and keep his scholarship. But over time, the line between academic drive and obsession with Yn began to blur.

He talked about her all the time. And even though he’d never admitted it, Yeonjun knew his friend schemed ways to outdo her. Soobin never missed a class, even when he was sick–not because he loved lectures, but because the thought of Yn doing better than him made his blood boil.

And it wasn’t one-sided. Yunjin had told him how obsessed Yn was with beating Soobin, how every Soobin-related detail made her freak out. But unlike Yeonjun, she didn’t think her friend had a crush, she claimed it was something to distract herself from home stuff–that antagonising him was her daily entertainment– but he wasn’t buying it. 

When he reached the table where his girlfriend and her friends were sitting, Yn was nowhere in sight.

“Hey” he said, sliding into his seat. “Hello, guys. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Hi, Yeonjun. I’m Chaewon” she greeted him with a smile, “I can’t believe I'm finally meeting the mysterious guy Yunjin’s dating, it’s like I'm meeting a celebrity.”

The couple laughed, exchanging a warm look.  

“You know” Yunjin added, “I didn’t want to tell you guys earlier because Yn hates anything that surrounds Soobin, and I was afraid of how she’d react.” She sighed, “But well, it’s now or never.”

“Yeah,” Yeonjun agreed. “Soobin didn’t take it well either but…” he paused. “Even though I think he’s being a little childish, he still managed to talk to Yunjin. He’ll have to deal with it.” 

“You guys are brave,” Eunchae remarked, eyes widening slightly. “I’d be terrified in your position. Yn can be really scary when she’s angry…” she glanced around, brow furrowing. “Where is she, by the way?”

Chaweon glanced at her phone, scrolling briefly before announcing, “Group chat says she’s out getting lunch.”

And that’s exactly what she was doing, getting lunch at a campus side-spot that Tik Tok swore served the best tteokbokki in town. 

Her phone buzzed while she was waiting, it was a message from her older brother, one she wished she’d never opened. Yn sighed and shut her eyes, exhausted. Her  younger brother was failing school again, and somehow, their mother was mad at her instead of him. 

Apparently, it was Yn’s fault. 

After all, she was the smartest, so it was her job to make sure Woonhak didn’t mess up. Yn didn’t want that role, she already tried so hard to meet her mom’s expectations. But no matter what she did, her mother only praised her brothers. Especially Woonhak who barely tried.

Even though she knew it wasn’t his fault, Yn couldn’t stop the resentment from building. Her mother expected the world from her and applauded the minimum from her sons. She tried to understand her mother, really tried, but she praised every action men did and Yn couldn’t compete with that.

“Excuse me,” a voice cut through her thoughts. “The line is moving forward.” 

Yn sighted. That voice, it was impossible to not recognize. “First, you ruin my assignment. Now you’re getting on my fucking way? Are you that obsessed with me?”

“I’m sorry, Miss ‘The World Revolves Around Me,’” Soobin replied, clearly irritated. “Maybe if you weren’t so self-absorbed you’d notice the line moving.” 

How did they always end up in the same place, at the same time, no matter what? It was his first time eating out in three months. He wasn’t the type to eat outside, not when he had to prioritize helping his family. So the fact that she was here too, stepping into his path yet again, was the last thing he needed.

“I was going to move eventually,” she snapped. “Do me a favor and get out of my way.” She paused, then added with a dismissive flick of her wrist, “you know what? I don’t even have time to fight with you right now. You’re not that important.”

It was her turn to order, so she turned away and ordered her food to go, planning to eat with her friends. Soobin did the same. They pretend the other didn’t exist and failed miserably. Both were seething.

Their order came out at the same time, and they bolted toward the exit, as if whoever reached the door first won something. Even walking out had turned into a competition.

Soobin got there first. He slowed his pace, glanced back, and smirked. “What? Can’t even be the first one out the door?”

“It’s not my fault you’re so fucking tall,” she muttered angry, walking beside him “You’re like a powerful country blaming a small one for not having the same resources.”

“So… you’re admitting I’m better than you,” he said with a smug grin.

“Don’t smile,” she shot back. “I would never say that, so don’t lie to yourself, cause I could write a whole essay on why I'm better than you.”

“You’d fail anyway. I’m better than you.” he laughed, Yn couldn’t find him funny. “Did  you see yourself in IR class? If professor Kim wasn’t your boss I’m pretty sure you’d have scored a zero.”

“Are you really dragging professor Kim just because you weren't good enough to work with him?” she scoffed. She wasn’t even offended, being the TA to the country’s top academic was enough validation, and she knew how much it got under Soobin’s skin. “What? You think you’re better than a man with a PhD from Harvard? He chose me for a reason.”

Soobin looked at her with resentment. “Sure, he’s a great academic. But I’m pretty sure he lacks judgment. Ask professor Min, I bet he’d agree.”

Professor Min Yoongi was another powerhouse in the IR field, known almost as widely as Professor Kim. The two were famous for their academic friendship and joint publications. They were brilliant in different ways. Min focused on security and geopolitics, while Kim specialized in diplomacy and foreign policy.

Which was ironic, considering those were the exact same interest Soobin and Yn shared. It was almost as if they were unintentionally mimicking their mentors.

Even funnier? The professors knew about their rivalry. And they talked about it privately. Often. Wise as they were academically, they were just as sharp emotionally–and perceptive enough to ship them. Of course, neither Soobin nor Yn would ever imagine that those two serious men were secretly rooting for them to fall in love.

“Is that your card? You couldn’t get Kim’s TA position, so now you’re using the fact that you’re Min’s TA as an excuse?” she smirked. 

“Hey, he’s great too,” he snapped. “You know what?, we shouldn’t be talking about them, both are amazing.” 

Yn rolled her eyes the minute he said that, he was clearly jealous. 

“Anyway, you’ll see my presentation soon,” he said. “And trust me, it’ll make yours look like a last-minute Google Slides disaster.”

“Whatever.” Yn muttered, rolling her eyes again. “What’s yours even about, by the way?”

“Oh,” he smiled. “Easy. It’s about how middle powers leverage soft power, specifically how Korea’s approach differs from a global hegemon like the US.  I'm comparing the two.”

Her frown deepened. “Soobin you’re literally copying my work.”

“No I'm not,” Soobin defended himself. “Yours is different. Yeah, we’re both covering pop-culture, but that doesn’t mean it’s the same. You focused on Korea, which has a strong cultural export strategy. I’m focusing on that too, but I’m comparing it to the US, which is a global powerhouse in that field. One’s a major power and the other is a middle power. It’s not rocket science, they work differently.”

“Maybe you should switch to Germany's public diplomacy,” she suggested dryly. “Or japanese pop-culture, you like anime, don’t ya? It would be more original. Just a thought.”

“Why? Because you’ve got a monopoly on Korean soft power now? I’m literally Korean.”

“Maybe,” she shrugged. “But that’s not the point. Germany has a lot of sources of public diplomacy: education, science, cultural institutes. It’s genuinely interesting. And if you like pop culture, well, Japan has been using anime in diplomacy for decades now.”

A beat of silence. Their glares locked like crossed swords. 

“No.”

“Okay,” she said, exhaling. “I just wanted to help you because I’m a great student. But don’t expect me to not destroy your presentation and humiliate you like you did to me today.”

Soobin smirked, and Yn asked herself how it is possible for him to do that every single time. “Oh, please. I was just being a great student.”

She rolled her eyes with a tiny scoff escaping before she could stop it. “I can’t believe I’m actually talking to you right now.”

“Tragic, isn’t it?” he replied, lips twitching. “You must be desperate.”

Her eyes found his. It was weird. “It’s not like we ain’t walking in the same direction. I think it’s just boredom.”

“Right.” He muttered, something in his voice had changed. 

Was lighter.

There was a beat of silence, almost amusing, almost civil. It felt like a brief détente in their endless cold war.

She was right, they were talking. 

They haven’t talked since then.

Suddenly, he remembered everything.

And of course, the détente couldn’t last.

“I’m better than you because I went to that European Studies seminar the other day, and you didn’t,” he chimed, way too pleased with himself. 

Damn, he was right. The Oxford-hosted event had been all over campus for weeks, and she missed it. She hadn’t even had a real excuse. It stung.

But she wasn’t going down that easily.

“Oh wow, I'm really impressed, Soobin,” she said, sickly sweet. “You are doing really well, you should keep it up and maybe tomorrow you’ll work at the UN.” 

She paused.

“Oh wait. Been there, done that.” 

Bam. That was rough. 

She was talking about her internship at the United Nations, that two week program in New York. For him, those had been two of the worst weeks of his academic life, and not because she left, but because she bragged about it for months. And yes, he felt jealous, but deep down, he told himself it didn’t count. Not really.

“Right,” he scoffed. “Easy to say when daddy makes a few calls. Classic nepobaby behaviour. Have you ever done something on your own?”

Her blood boiled.

“Careful,” she snapped. “You don’t know a thing about my family. But it’s cute that you assume, just because you can’t imagine someone succeeding without needing a handout, and because you’ll never get the chance.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Please. You walk around like campus royalty. God forbid someone tells you you’re not special.”

“And you walk around like you’re owed something just because you breathe,” she shot back. “News flash: doing the bare minimum with a superiority complex doesn’t make you impressive, it makes you exhausting.”

A beat. They stared at each other. 

People walked around them. The wind blew. Somewhere, a bird chirped. Dramatically.

But the world was invisible to them.

“Anyway,” she muttered, stepping forward. “I’ll leave you to your fantasies. I’m meeting with people who actually like me.”

“Do they know you’re this full of yourself?”

“Do yours know you’re obsessed with me?” she said without turning back.

He watched her quicken her pace, and before she could walk away completely, he couldn't stop himself from asking,

“What do you think about our friends dating?”

“What?” she turned, narrowing her eyes. 

“My dear friend Yeonjun is dating your best friend Yunjin. A whole month now. You didn’t know?” he asked, confused. “And I thought you two told each other everything.”

Her heart spiked.

It all made sense now. Yunjin never said his name, never showed his face. The stories she posted about their dates, faceless photos, just food, their shoes, their shapes.

How could she? 

Yn didn’t know which part stung more:

That Yunjin had kept it from her, 

That she was dating Soobin’s best friend,

Or that Soobin was the one telling her.

The first one. Definitely the first one.

“That’s pathetic.”

Soobin raised a brow, but she didn’t let him speak. 

“You think telling me would hurt me?” she asked. “It doesn’t, I just feel sorry for her.”

Then, without waiting for him to reply, she turned and walked –with her chin high and a steady pace– toward the cafeteria. 

Because Soobin is a liar, right? 

There’s no way that could be true, she would never hide something that important to her. They are best friends for a reason. She’s the person Yn trusts the most. Her partner in crime, the girl she runs to deep philosophical debates and celebrity gossip alike. They tell each other everything and no matter what, they always get each other's backs. 

So no, there was no chance Soobin was right. Not this time, not ever. And she knows him. Just as a state wields every source in a war, Soobin uses whatever he can to get under her skin.

It 's common sense. 

Until is not. 

Her eyes scanned the cafeteria the minute she got into, and she couldn’t believe what was before her eyes. Chaewon, Eunchae and Yunjin, were beside Yeonjun—sat in the stop that was supposed to be hers. They were laughing, like nothing in the world was wrong. 

She began walking toward them. Her food container hit the table louder than it should have as she sat down without a word.

She regretted it the minute it happened. 

“Hey,” she greeted with a confused look on her face. 

Yunjin turned, brightening. “Oh! There you are. We—

“Is it true? Are you seriously dating him?”

The table went quiet. 

Yeonjun froze mid-bite and Yunjin's face fell. “I… I was going to tell you.”

“When?” Yn asked, voice tight. “After the wedding?”

“That’s not fair–

“I can’t believe you kept this from me,” Yn interrupted, her voice was tight. “I should be happy, but it’s frightening that the person who claims to trust me the most would hide something so important from me.”

“Excuse me,” Yeonjun leaned in, showing genuine curiosity. “How did you find out?”

Yn sighted, completely jaded by the situation. It was humbling. “Soobin told me.”

Silence. 

It was uncomfortable to watch. Yn stared at her best friend with a glimpse of betrayal, while the others shifted awkwardly, guilt written plainly on their faces. 

“You know you could have just told me, right? even a meme wouldn’t be too harmful than finding out from him. I wouldn’t be mad about that but I feel… I don't know, betrayed. Maybe.”

Yunjin opened her mouth to respond, but she didn’t get the chance. Not when Soobin came in and bragged, “See? Told ya.” 

And with that, he sat beside her, unable to content his excitement, like this was just a game and she was the one losing it.

The truth was, they both used their rivalry as a form of internal gratification. They’d never admitted, but there was a certain satisfaction in outdoing each other. 

Everyone knew it was a competition over everything, even the smallest things. But nothing had ever come close to what was happening now. This was the first time they’d exchanged so many words in the last two years.

They’d always tried to one-up each other academically, but that had never been enough to draw real blood. To truly hurt them.

So this? 

This was different

And Yn wasn’t going to let him have it.

“Do you ever shut up? You act like this is your moment when no one even invited you here.”

He raised his eyebrows, still grinning. “Can you blame me?”

Yn looked at him like the sound of his voice physically pained her. “You’re so desperate to be relevant it’s pathetic.” She leaned in, close enough so he could be the only one who heard her whisper, “congratulations on being the biggest loser in the room.”

He didn’t move, didn’t even flinch.

“Big words,” he said, voice low, “from someone who didn’t even notice her best friend dating her sworn enemy’s best friend.” 

He smirked and tilted his head. “That’s embarrassing don’t you think?” 

“It’s embarrassing to think this is some sort of winning,” she snapped back. “Some of us have a life, but congrats on being the gossip girl, Soobin. Finally something you can actually win.”

“And you’re not special, Yn.”

“I might not be,” she replied, “but you’re obsessed with me, and jealous because you’ll never have what I do.”

He laughed. “You mean rich parents and an inflated ego?”

“Sure,” she muttered. “And internships. And awards. And actual talent. But I bet you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“You know what your real talent is?” His tone was sharp. “Performing. You pretend you’re the perfect student with your little papers and smug interventions, but the truth is, you’ve built your whole life like a state builds its strategy–clean, curated, cold.”

“And you know what your problem is?” she leaned in, her voice was still low, but cutting. “You’ve built yours on arrogance and mediocrity. You think you’re smarter than everyone else when you’re just… loud. You’re all theory and no instinct.”

He frowned, arms crossed. “Yes, but you’re all drama and no depth.”

“No, I’m all wins,” she shot back. “You hate me because I’m better than you and it drives you insane.”

He scoffed, leaning back like he was watching fireworks. “Better? You operate like a declining hegemon, too busy projecting soft power to realize your foundations are rotting.”

Yn’s smile didn’t falter. “That’s rich coming from someone whose entire personality is reactive.” She leaned closer, her voice dropping. “You don’t lead, Soobin. You retaliate.”

His jaw clenched. She kept going, “This is not diplomacy, Soobin. This is desperation.”

“Oh, am I desperate?” He raised an eyebrow. “You’re the one who walked in here like you were staging a UN emergency session.”

“I walked in because I have integrity,” she said, “unlike you, who weaponizes everything at his disposal just to feel in control. You’re basically realist theory in human form. Cynical, self-serving, and obsessed with zero-sum outcomes.”

That one visibly shook him. He tried to play it off with a slow, mocking nod, but the corner of his mouth twitched.

“And yet,” he replied, “you’re still here. Still talking to me. Looks like even the constructivist in you know I matter.”

For a second, he didn’t continue. Just stared at her like he was watching something heavy behind his eyes. Then, with a venom too casual to match his words, he dropped it.

“Maybe that’s why Yunjin didn’t tell you. I bet she’s tired of pretending you’re a flawless genius, just like everyone.”

It hit her like a missile strike, even though she covered her emotions really well, it still hurts.

“Seriously, Yn. You act like you have everything figured out but you’re not even capable of seeing what's in front of you. You think you can manipulate everyone,” he kept going, “always playing the perfect one, but you’re not. You’re fake.”

“Say that again,” Yn said through gritted teeth, her voice shaken. Not with fear, but rage.

He leaned towards her, again. “Fake,” he repeated, low and slow.

They were close –really close– with eyes full of rage and the fragility of a bomb. As if anything that was coming next would be the explosion of a bomb that could end any war.

And then, something reminded them where they actually were. At the cafeteria, with Yn’s friends and Yeonjun. 

“Are guys going to kiss?” Eunchae genuinely asked.

She frowned. The only kiss I'll give to him is an uppercut on his stupid face, Yn wished she’d replied.

“I don’t get what everyone sees in you.” She muttered.

“That makes two of us.” He replied.

And with that, Yn stood up, picked up her container, and walked out the cafeteria. Her chin was up, but her emotions were… strange.

What just happened?

There was a flicker in her eyes. Not weakness, but there was something dangerously close, two unshed tears were begging to fall but she refused to let them. 

She hoped no one noticed she was about to cry.

Yet she knew he was close enough to notice it.

Soobin didn’t move, the incense in his body blurred when she left. They had a long conversation on their way to the cafeteria, and something that felt like a huge… fight.

He started.

He was still trapped in his mind and the situation he calls Yn. 

“Are you proud of yourself?” Yeonjun's voice cut through the silence like a blade.

Soobin blinked, he came back to reality, while Yeonjun leaned back in his seat, arms crossed, disappointment radiating off of him. “Because if this is what you wanted, congrats. You just humiliate someone in front of her closest friends.”

Soobin avoided his gaze; he felt ashamed, still processing the things he had just said, and to whom he’d said them. “She started it.”

“What 's wrong with you?” Chaewon finally spoke, it wasn’t rage in her tone, but discomfort.

Yn’s friends, specially Yunjin, were restraining their desires to stop whatever was going on between her and Soobin. None of them raised their voices.

They all wanted to stop them. But when the fight started, no one knew what to do. They tried with a few calls, glances, one or two firm “guys, stop,” but both were too far gone. Trapped in a tunnel where no one else existed, where everything else disappeared.

But now it is over. And it had left an ugly feeling behind.

It was strange. He’d just realized how much he hated how everything shifted when it came to her. As if peace of mind wasn’t possible when she was near. His mood always soured the second she came to his mind. And he knew he was mean, too. 

But the strangest part was seeing Yn almost cry. That made him wonder if she actually had feelings.

The girl who’s stubborn, heartless, cold… and never cried.

Soobin regretted the way he acted. He’d behaved like a child just because she said it was surprising that they were talking. And that comment reminded him of everything.

Then his phone buzzed.

He got the job.

Yn wanted to be alone, the sadness was melting deep inside of her heart, to a point it was uncomfortable.

She couldn’t quite name the reason. Logically, being this sad over what could be called a friend’s betrayal felt childish. But Yunjin wasn’t any friend, and that’s what stung her the most. Not the situation itself, but the thought that the person she trusted the most didn’t consider her important enough to tell her something so special.

Then there was her mother. Going home meant facing a woman who sees Woonhak getting a tutor as nothing but a personal failure, one she’d balance on Yn. And even if it wasn’ t her fault, it hurts.

And then, there was Soobin. Too much to unravel.

She didn’t want to talk to anyone. Home was out of the question, facing her mother –who casually had spent the whole day there– wasn’t an option. Neither was staying on campus. 

She needed to do the one thing she knew how to do better than anyone else: study

As she walked to her car, the sky began to cloud over and the temperature slowly dropped, as if the weather itself was pulling a blanket into her mood. She sighed, and twenty minutes later, she arrived at a small café she’d discovered a few weeks ago. 

The café was a quiet haven from the chaos of the outside world and inside of her mind, wrapped in the sweet aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the soft hum of low conversations around her. It was warm, the golden lights pooled from hanging lamps, casting gentle shadows over wooden tables scattered with notebooks, half-empty mugs, and pens left uncapped in deep thoughts. The environment felt comforting, it was full of students sitting curled up in their chairs, everyone lost on their books, with headphones in, and their eyes hyper fixating on their textbooks. But what made her happier was the wave to earth song playing in the background, it felt like a hug

This place feels like home, she thought as she opened her favorite International Relations’ book. Her upcoming assignment was an essay on a book of her choice. The task was to highlight its strongest arguments and their weaknesses, apply the theory to a current international issue, analyze the case, and provide policy recommendations. 

It was enough work to avoid her emotions.

Yn took a sip of her coffee and looked at the time, almost an hour had passed in the blink of an eye. She looked over her notes, and then decided to check on her phone for a moment. But the second she opened her bag, Yunjin’s favourite book slipped out and landed on her lap.

Yn picked it up and returned to her bag with a quiet sigh. It felt like the universe was trying to tell her that she doesn’t have to avoid things. 

Then, when she finally unlocked her phone, she saw Yunjin's name on her screen. There were a few messages, she wanted to talk. Also apologies, explanations, and a reminder that she loved her. 

Sight. Yn felt terrible, she hated to make her friends worry about her. It wasn’t Yunjin’s fault, she can’t date whoever she wants and Yn will never judge her for it. 

She took a deep breath before typing back, saying that she wasn’t mad, no need to apologize. That she understood the hesitation, but it still hurt. It made her feel like Yunjin didn’t trust her.

And that was it stung the most: the idea of her best friend believing she wouldn’t be safe with the truth.

She ended the message by saying of course they should talk, and that she loved her too.

The minute she sent that, a realization came to her mind. 

Yn didn’t want Yunjin to think that Soobin was the only thing on her mind—but he was a big part of the equation. She couldn’t be mad at Yunjin; they were best friends, soulmates even. And yes, she felt deeply betrayed, but she wasn’t stupid. It was obvious that Yunjin had been afraid of her reaction. She understood… she always did, but it was still a little disappointing that her best friend would be afraid of her.

But how was she supposed to feel anything except betrayed when the first time she heard about it was from Soobin? Not from Yunjin. Not with a smile or a secret spilled over coffee. But from him.

And it wasn’t even the fact that she found out, it was how. Like a joke. Like he was doing her a favor. Of course she’d be mad.

Yeonjun wasn’t the problem, he was in fact, a nice guy. Yes, he was part of the Student Council, the leader of the dance team, he is known for being extremely kind and sociable, and he also has a band. He did so many things that it honestly made her wonder where he even found the time.

He wasn’t a bad person, he just got bad friends that behave like shit. And Yeonjun had said himself he didn’t support that. So maybe, just maybe, he is friends with Soobin because he had no choice back then.

So she made a decision. 

She will be friends with Yeonjun, knowing exactly what that would do to Soobin. And she’ll win no matter what. 

It was the perfect plan. Maybe a little childish, maybe a little stupid but she wasn’t able to think that way. In her mind, this was the best strategy. Yn felt like a country carefully plotting a move to increase its power, and establishing diplomatic relations with Yeonjun was, strictly speaking, a tactical maneuver.

Soobin couldn’t keep the news to himself, he wanted to share this with the person he loved the most: his mother. So, he decided to head to the nursing home where she worked. It wasn’t unusual for him to go there, he liked helping her, and spending time with older people never seemed like a bad idea. They were wise, they adored Soobin, and they always gave him good advice. And he just couldn’t say no to a bit of wisdom.

That’s how he ran into Mr. Han, a former Korean diplomat who now spent his days reading old policy papers and watching the news on mute. Mr. Han was Soobin’s number one fan, he saw real potential in him. And Soobin admired the man just as much, hoping to become like him someday.

To Soobin, Mr. Han was both an accidental therapist and a grandfather figure. He trusted him completely, believing every word the old man said, which was why he told him almost everything. 

Even though he loved and trusted his parents, he couldn’t bring himself to tell them about Yn. Maybe they suspected he had an enemy because Beomgyu had accidentally let it slip once, and the guys were always teasing him about her in front of them. But with everything else going on, and all the problems they already have in their lives, Soobin didn’t want to bother them with something… this childish. 

But Mr. Han? He knew everything about Yn. 

The old man was a big fan of Soobin’s life. As a retired diplomat who spent his days checking the news, this story felt like a K-drama. It was so funny to watch Soobin come up with strategies to “beat the enemy,” like some master policy maker.

After a brief celebration with her mother and a little bit of helping her to clean the space, Soobin sat at the rocking chair beside Mr. Han, who was casually reading a book until the youngest appeared. 

“You look like something’s weighing on you,” the eldest claimed while putting the book on his lap, “what happened boy? you got the job but you don’t look quite happy.”

Soobin leaned back the chair, with eyes briefly flickering the floor as the memory of his altercation with Yn crossed his mind. He was ashamed to tell his mentor about this. 

He sighed. “Yeah, I'm happy… but before that, I had a fight with Yn. It was… weird.”

The man’s gaze sharpened, catching the frustration in the boy’s tone. “Tell me what happened. What exactly did you say?”

“Her best friend is dating Yeonjun and I was the one who told her, she didn’t know.” Soobin exhaled, rubbing his temple. “I don’t even know how it escalated or why we ended up arguing. At one point, I called her fake.”

Mr. Han studied him carefully. And even though Soobin could never fully tell what the wise old man was thinking, he appreciated that about him. He was embarrassed by what had happened, but also deeply grateful for Mr. Han’s presence. He never judged him, he could tell whenever Soobin was messing up, but never in a judgemental way. 

“You’re very passionate about this. What exactly is it about her that bothers you, Soobin?”

Soobin exhaled through his nose with irritation seeping into his voice. “She always tries to be at the top of everything, like she’s playing this game of international relations where she’s the leading power. You know, like the hegemon in the system. She thinks everything’s under her control, but it’s all a facade. She acts like she’s the only one who gets it, the only one who matters. She is arrogant and I hate it. It’s so frustrating.”

Mr. Han raised an eyebrow, his voice was calm but full of knowledge. “So, you see her as a rival, then?”

His jaw clenched. “She’s not a rival but an obstacle. She undermines everything I do, always acting superior, like I’m a pawn in her geopolitical board. And I’m tired of her, I can’t stand how she always gets in my way, like everything is a game she has already won, scheming strategies like it’s nothing.” A muscle twitched near his eye. “But I won’t let her have this, not anymore.”

“I see.” The old man tilted his head slightly with a wry smile forming on his lips. “You think she’s trying to outmaneuver you. You feel like she’s undermining your position in this… strategic competition.” He pauses. “But is she really doing that? Or are you inventing a villain to justify your own insecurities?”

“What?” Soobin’s eyes flashed with a mix of confusion and frustration. “No. I’m not insecure, I just can’t let someone like her think she can walk all over me and step up on me like I was a weak state in the international system. I  can’t show weakness, I can’t lose this.”

Mr. Han chuckled softly, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully. “Maybe what you’re feeling is more about how she challenges you. You're not just mad at her because of her actions, Soobin. You’re angry because she’s forcing you to question your own beliefs, your own position and she makes you realize that people can lose sometimes. And that’s uncomfortable, isn’t it?”

“She’s evil,” the younger replied. “But…”

Soobin’s silence hung heavy in the room as he tried to process the older man’s words. He wasn’t able to admit that there was a part of him that was unsure. Was Mr. Han right? Was he just frustrated because Yn shaken his sense of control and made him doubt his own place in the world every time she wins?

He knew people had to lose. It’s statistically impossible to win every war. 

But her? She didn't deserve it.

Perfect grades. Perfect life. A father at the UN. Money that could’ve erased his parents’ debts with a single swipe of her credit card. He hated her for that–and sometimes, he even thought that teachers went easy on her because they knew who her dad was.

Who’d risk failing a girl with that kind of prestige?

But him? He had to make more efforts to succeed in life. He needed to be the top student to keep his scholarship, losing wasn’t a pleasure he could afford. He had to be the best.

He felt like he crawled through life while she waltzed through it as if on a gilded escalator.

He envied her for that. Even a single piece of her clothing could solve all his parent’s problems.

“Maybe you’re right, I do envy her,” he admitted, the truth sitting ugly in his mouth. “She has everything I don’t, she threatens me and I can’t stand it,” he crossed his arms, looking out the window that overlooked the backyard.

Mr. Han looked at him patiently, like he was waiting for Soobin to conclude his thoughts.

“Maybe I’m insecure.” Soobin continued. “Today, we talked for the first time in two years and it was weird. Part of me felt like it was easy, but then I remembered and I panicked. What can I do about this?” his voice grew quieter, as if searching for answers in the depths of his mind. “I can’t just let her be better than me. I can’t let her undermine me in front of everyone.”

The old man nodded, leaning back in his chair. “You have to decide whether you want to be the bigger person in this situation or continue playing this game of domination and rivalry. Because if you keep treating her like a rival to be defeated, you’ll only end up in a prolonged conflict with no resolution.” He took a deep breath. “Maybe you should confront your insecurities first, and realize that losing doesn’t make you weak. So tell me, what do you want to achieve with this?”

Soobin hesitated. For the first time, he understood why he acted like he did. It was an obsession covered with hatred. “I don’t know. I just want to win.”

Mr. Han nodded slowly, fully understanding the boy’s turmoil. “That’s the problem. You’re seeing this as a zero-sum game, but sometimes, winning isn’t about being the best. Sometimes it’s about knowing when to step back, when to negotiate, to avoid escalating conflict.”

Soobin didn’t reply immediately, his thoughts whirling as he tried to understand. His friends were always encouraging him to stop this competition but he wouldn’t acknowledge it until Mr Han explained this with IR terms. Soobin was used to thinking in terms of power dynamics, diplomacy, international relations, and strategic alliances. 

But this… this was different. It was personal. And as much as he hated to admit it, Mr. Han's words were making him reconsider the way he saw himself.

And his value as a person. Could it be that it didn’t depend on his academic success?

“Alright, Mr. Han,” Soobin said quietly, hesitating. “Maybe I need to rethink my strategy. I’ll try not to escalate things with her, but I can't promise I won’t respond to any of her attacks. And… I’ll try to fix my insecurities.”

The man gave him a knowing smile, nodding. Soobin thought he always knew something else, like he could predict the future or something. “Insecurities aren’t things you just fix, Soobin. They’re parts of you that you need to acknowledge and embrace. If you try to fix them, you’ll never understand them, but if you work on them, you’ll become conscious of who you are.”

He looked the youngest straight in the eyes. “And about that girl… sometimes the best move is to wait and see what the other player does. In diplomacy, patience is often the most powerful tool.”

Soobin leaned back in his chair. His thoughts about Yn were still racing but he felt… incredibly calm, as if he had taken a heavy backpack off his back.

And he also felt grateful for being loved by his family, friends, and Mr. Han, whom Soobin considered his chosen grandfather. 

“Thank you Mr. Han.” Soobin said before he stood up, brushing invisible lint off his pants. His phone had just buzzed. His mother was calling.

“You’re welcome kid.” Mr. Han replied with a warm smile. “I know your parents always have your back, but if you ever need anything, I’ll be here. There’s a lot of people who love you. You are already loved, Soobin.”

Soobin offered him a grateful nod before heading towards the lobby. He spotted his mother standing near the entrance, and something in her posture made his stomach twist. Her eyes were red, brimming with tears. 

“Mom?” he asked, stepping closer, his voice full of concern. “What 's wrong? What happened?”

She took a shaky breath, barely managing to get the words out. “Your dad’s in the hospital. He… he had a car accident.”

The minute Yn got out of her car, her chest tightened.

She was afraid of her mother.

Everything had changed when her dad left for New York when she was seventeen. Her mother had grown harsher, sharper. And things only got worse when her older brother left two years later.

Jungkook didn’t really abandon her, but it felt like that. He had been the only other adult in the house, and the one who stood up to their mother to protect her. And when he left? Her life changed completely. She had to adjust to a new routine, a new life, where the only person looking out for her was... herself.

She stepped into her house, took off her shoes and slipped on her slippers, pretending to be ready for whatever sharp words were waiting for her.

The house was big enough that you could walk around without bumping into anyone–it is not like there’s too many people living in it anyway–but her mother was right there in the living room, arms crossed like she’d been waiting.

The room was silent, but the air was thick with tension.

Yn tried as much as possible to not be seen, but it was impossible. Her mother always had eyes in the back of her head.

 “Where were you?” 

Yn froze for a second, fingers tightening the strap of her bag. She took a shallow breath, forcing herself to stay calm. 

There was no concern in her voice, only coldness, accusation.

“I was at uni and then I went to a café to study… I have an essay due Monday.” Yn answered flatly with her eyes fixed on her slippers.

Her mother scoffed, crossing her arms tightly. “Of course. Off being selfish again.” 

She stood from the armchair, posture rigid. “You should’ve been watching over your brother, but you weren’t. And now he’s failing at school. So badly that I had to hire a tutor! Do you even care what people will say? What a shame”

Yn flinched at the words. Her grip on her bag tightened. She finally looked up, the anger rising in his chest before she could stop it. “He’s sixteen, not five.”

“This explains why he’s failing two classes!” her mother snapped. “You were supposed to help him. Keep him focused. But you are too busy playing adult, running around god knows where.”

“I was studying!” Yn shouted angrily, then her fear came rushing back. She realized she had raised her voice–to her mother– and her voice cracked. “I’m not his mother… tha-that’s your job.” She whispered, on the edge of breaking.

But she wasn’t going to give in too easily. She’s not the type of person who shows weakness.

“Mom…” Woonhak whisper came from behind her. He had been hiding, but now he stepped into view.

Her mother softened instantly. “Woonhak, you’re not to blame, honey. Go to your room, I’m speaking with your sister.”

The teen nodded silently and left. Yn watched him leave without even looking at her. That hurt more than it should have.

“Do you know how much damage you’ve done to your brother?” her mother asked.

Yn didn’t answer. 

“Of course not. You’re so selfish. You think the world revolves around you, Yn. Well, it doesn't. One day you’ll realize what a bad person you are, and I won’t be here.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to hold herself together. “Mom… I really was studying, I… I got a top score on t my oral presentation today and–”

“What, you want me to throw a party?” she laughed. “You want me to be proud of you for doing what you’re supposed to do?” 

“I don’t know what I was even expecting from you.” Yn whispered, feeling the last bit of hope leave her body.

Without another word, she turned and walked away, feeling her mother’s gaze burning into her back.

As she reached the hallway, she saw Woonhak standing there, his eyes wide with guilt. He opened his mouth, maybe to speak, but Yn didn’t stop. She kept her head down and walked faster toward her room. 

Once inside, she slammed the dorm behind her and collapsed against it, sliding to the floor. Her breath hitched. Tears welled up in her eyes. She tried to stop them –really tried– but maybe it was better this way.

For the first time that day, she felt safe enough to be vulnerable. It had been a weird, awful day. She had almost cried in public, twice.

She reached for her phone and dialed her dad’s number. Her heart sank. She stared at the screen, willing her dad to pick up. But he didn’t, of course he didn’t. He was always too busy. 

She tried calling Jungkook next, but the ringing just kept going. “Come on,” she whispered under her breath. “Someone… please, anyone.”

But no one picked up.

She was alone at this big house. Her mother’s words replayed in the back of her head. 

And the worst part? She couldn’t argue it. 

Maybe her mom was right, and maybe it was all her fault.

Yn curled her knees up to her chest, her phone still clutched in her hand. There was a soft knock on her door, followed by the sound of Woonhak’s voice from the other side. 

“Yn… I didn’t mean to–”

“I don’t want to talk,” she snapped, her voice hoarse. “Just… just go away.”

There was silence for a moment before she heard his soft footsteps retreat down the hallway. That didn’t make her feel better. 

Her relationship with her mother had wrecked her relationship with her brother. They barely talked. She didn’t want to help him with school or anything else. Every time she saw his face, she thought of their mom. 

She felt rejected. 

Her dad and Jungkook left for work and yes, she loved them, but she also felt abandoned. 

Yn sat there for what felt like hours, the silence was deafening. She had no idea how to stop her emotions. She even ran out of tears.

With a glance at her desk–books, notes, essays piled up like an endless mountain, she stood up. It was always there, waiting. And suddenly, that felt comforting.

She grabbed her laptop and began to write. Her mind shifted to the only thing that ever made sense: school.

Because the world wouldn’t stop spinning, and if she didn’t keep up, she’d be swallowed whole.

A few minutes later, her phone buzzed. Niki had spammed her with messages, she smiled.

Oh.

What?

author's note: hiii i know i said i’d upload this on june 15th and it’s already been a week since then, i’m sorry 😭 i was proofreading it, and literally two days before posting, i realized i didn’t like how it was turning out, so i ended up rewriting almost everything ☠️

but here it is now!! i hope you like it 🫶🏻 thank you for being patient

glossary:

soft power: the ability a country has to make others do what it wants without using force. instead, it wins people by being attractive. like, its values, culture, or ideas are so appealing that others just want to be on its side. people learning korean because they’re into kpop is a great example of this. zero-sum game: a situation in which one person’s gain is inherently another’s loss. in this case, is soobin thinking yn’s success means his failure

taglist: @iyoonjh @kukkurookkoo @bingsoob @calidore

preview ✦ masterlist ✦ next

[k-zuzulibrary]

창빈

seo changbin 𖹭 gn!reader

dating scb.

content: headcanons, eventual smut mdni, sucking him off, mention of pda, changbin courts you, me simping, kinda weird timeline i was too lazy to fix, not proofread, lowercase intended.

zuzu's note: purely for self indulgence.

i have been so obsessed with him! he's my ult bias but he's just been hitting different lately, especially in the recent lollapalooza concert. his hair, his lines in the ATE album, omg, he's so hdjakskzkkwe!!!@;#&@*

the video of him with chaeryoung was sooo cute, it was so nice to see him being so chill in a different way, u get me? also chaeryoung was so cute and funny there 😭😭😭

he would be such an amazing best friend but at the same time such A GREAT BOYFRIEND!

imagine dating him? you'd literally got the best jackpot ever. he's literally the perfect boyfriend. he's so mature and such a charming, gentle, lovable soul!!!

he's known for always being the one people go to for comfort and advice and i just love that about him<33

he'd prioritize you sooo much! he's a kind man, but the type where he can distinguish romantic and platonic interactions. for some other people there isn't much of a line so you can't tell if they like you

to changbin, you're special asf.

if you're into pda: wrapping an arm around your waist, feeding you some of his chips or fries while you're using your phone/distracted, hand holding, visiting your workplace/last class, and such.

friendly bickers with him would be so funnn! i do not limit him as a sweetheart (even though he is) he is SOOO loud. i thought about this while watching the skz code where he and hyunjin debate on whether the egg or the chicken came first, or if the butt was one or two butts. idk why changbin argued it was two. a butt is clearly one and has 2 cheeks! hyunjin's argument when he compared a butt to an ear was actually valid — if a butt is two then, an ear would just as well be two because what they had in common was that a hole seperated them.

he always takes you out on dates! it's important to him to keep the romance alive. gym dates, amusement park dates (never on a rollercoaster), history museum dates, candlelit dinners, studio dates, picnic breakfasts, bed breakfasts! he also feels kind of like a little academic library date kind of guy. sidenote: taking pics of each otherrr!!!

also, 3racha wrote the lyrics of the song "I Like It" and changbin was very passionate while defending the definition of the lyrics againdt hyunjin and seungmin on spot-on. so it's a given that changbin is no stranger to the concept of romance regardless of his lack of experience (at least to our knowledge).

so it doesn't take long for changbin to realize that his feelings are all but platonic. the question is; what would he do about them?

well, personally, i think changbin is the type to pursue. he's a little shameless (in a good way): all of the members know about his feelings for you and he doesn't hide them!

he never pressures you at all. he makes sure you're comfortable before making any advances. of course you allow him to court you.

he does everything, gift giving (buys you anything he sees that reminds him of you), acts of service (he's such an acts of service man!!!), quality time (plsss), physical touch (PLSSSS!!!!), words of affirmation (OF COURSE HE WOULD). everything.

one time, you noticed he was slowing down and you wondered if he was getting tired of waiting, but when you visited him at the dorm you realized he was sick. (why didn't he tell you?) you stayed and you took care of him.

immediately, he was better the next day. (maybe you were a magic cure for him).

the next week, you visited him in the studio and he was really stressed about his recent project. you offered to distract him and he accepted it (if it was even possible).

what he didn't expect was for you to kiss him. why did you kiss him? everything he did for you was building up to the moment he could kiss you.

a kiss turned into a make out session, into you grinding on his lap, into you sucking him off so he could relieve some of the stress he was feeling.

his words were adamant on not letting you because he wanted to be able to make you cum first, but his body spoke otherwise as his hands gently met with the top of your head and his legs spread wider.

he let out small whimpers and sighs, trying his best to stay silent because he might do something embarrassing but you were so good and you took him so well. you were moaning louder than he was as his fat cock went deeper down your throat and he finally met his release.

he tried to pull your head off of him, but you insisted he came down your throat.

"fuck." he whispered. too tired to fight you as his balls emptied, he came wayyyy too much and it was taking a little too long until he was done cumming.

finally pulling his dick out with a soft pop, you stood up, kissed his cheek and left like nothing happened.

well, it's safe to say he was done courting you and you finally started dating after that.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆.˚

main masterlist.

©️ 2025 k-zuzulibrary All Rights Reserved.

[doggrowth]

fandom asks!

3. a character that fandom has helped you appreciate

7. your favorite tropes to read/write/draw

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

23. the fandom you're curious about because of a mutual

Hello Caitie! Thank you for sending questions <3

3. I was like a lot of people who didn’t love Jayce. I liked him in the way that I was rooting for him and thought he had a good heart. But his actions in season 1 are meant to be frustrating to watch. And in season 2, his arc is a bit strange to follow and understand (surprisingly I wasn’t too shocked when he killed Viktor). But now I LOVE him. I think he’s great and complex and sweet.

7. For tropes, I mean... you reblogged this earlier and I couldn't say it any better myself:

I gobble up forced proximity/stuck in a closet too. And I'm a sucker for people who give Viktor pets in art or fics. Specifically cats, because obviously, but also reptiles are sooo Viktor coded.

16. So all Arcane characters have these three little spots of white in their eyes - in my limited-to-nonexistent art knowledge, this is reflection of light I think?

I noticed this after intensely staring at @viktors-sternomastoid's gif sets that these white parts in Viktor's eyes "shake" or "tremble" a lot. Like so much. Just go look at their tag for eyes if you wanna see more than the few examples I can cram into this post here.

(please tell me y'all see what I'm talking about - like the white reflection bits in his eyes are shaking, separate from how the rest of his eyes move, right? I'm not insane?)

My instincts tell me that this effect is applied to communicate that a character is emotional. Their eyes welling with tears or whatever. But it happens so much with Viktor, I was thinking like is Viktor just always on the verge of tears? Or is this just a him thing? Does this "shake" happen with all of the characters?

Yes, it does happen with all the characters. Specifically in moments they feel emotional.

Because these gifs aren't focused on just their eyes, it's a teeny bit harder to see it here. But it's definitely there, I think:

I saved these gifs awhile ago but I'm like 99% sure they're from @arcanegifs

So this is something in Arcane's "language" that communicates strong emotions, whether that be the character is crying or amazed or whatever. It happens with all the characters. But not as much as Viktor, I don't think.

What is my point? Idk. Mostly that the animation department is cracked with these tiny details. And I want to appreciate them in their entirety :D But also to talk about how deeply he experiences his emotions. If this is how Arcane communicates sadness, rage, passion, grief, fear, etc. then, to me, that makes scenes where this visual language is used even deeper. It is communicating that he's feeling a lot, even if he's not saying it.

I hope all of that makes sense.

23. Ahhhh I suppose BG3 is in the back of my mind because of @hivemuthur but also there's just SO many Arcane fans that are/were into BG3. Idk if I'll ever check it out tho because I am not a big Gamer. But it looks nerdy and I bet I'd like it!

Thanks again for the ask, Caitie. Sorry it took so long!

Ask game

[tovesaiko]

what's in a name

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet

They’re eating dinner when Osha asks the question. She’s sitting on the stone steps in their cave, cradling a bowl of soup in her hands. She looks relaxed, one leg propped on the step, the other curled under her.

“I still can't believe I never heard of you back at the temple. You're not that old,” there's mischief in her eyes as she adds that last part. Surprised, Qimir drops his spoon into his soup.

He wonders if she minds, if she would prefer they were closer in age. Imagines how it would be if he knew her before. What it would be like to train together as padawans and share their first experiences. Imagines sneaking out of the Jedi temple with her to lie in a meadow, young and innocent. Kissing for the first time, surrounded by flowers and sunlight and life.

It makes him think about his time as Vernestra's padawan. The years he spent training under her were nothing like the vision he just conjured. He had a different name then, already half-forgotten and alien to him. It belonged to a different person – a person he hasn't been for a long time. Even if she heard of him, she wouldn't know it, she wouldn’t recognise that other name. And who's to say what lies Vernestra spun when she returned to Coruscant without her padawan? He knows her well enough to know she would never let the story of his fall to the dark side see the light of day. Would never let the world learn how she maimed him and left him half-dead for the local predators to finish the job for her. No, she would make sure to control the narrative. He has a feeling even he wouldn’t recognise the version of the story she presented to the Jedi.

Would he still be the boy he used to be if he knew Osha back then? Would having her by his side keep him in the light? He thinks it’s more likely it would make him fall sooner. Because try as he might, he can’t imagine having Osha in his life and not loving her with a burning passion. Having her in his life and meekly adhering to the ridiculously strict tenets of the Jedi code.

Qimir may not be the name given to him by his parents, but he only spent a few years with them, barely remembers life before he was taken by the Jedi anyway, so does it even matter? This is the name he chose for himself. As a cover at first, yes, but then – then it was the name Osha knew him by. Just like his bumbling alter ego, it holds fragments of his true self. Even if the name wasn't his originally, he wants to be Qimir. Osha's Qimir.

This is now also on ao3 along with my other fic!

what's in a name

walking away from all you know

By popular demand, and by 'popular demand' I mean literally one person, I'm sharing my writing for the first time in years😅 Please be gentle.

I've been turning the issue of Qimir's name in my head over and over again. Pondering the significance of name vs. identity, and whether his real name is actually important when he must have changed so much ever since he became the Stranger, like a magical orb. Last night I couldn't sleep until I got this out of my head and on paper (well, on a google doc but, you know). I have two notebook pages of bullet points of things I'd like to see explored in a continuation of Osha and Qimir's story and the name reveal, or lack thereof, is one of them. Who knows, maybe now that I got this one out I'll latch onto another and cook something up to be read by me and exactly one other person.

@septemberlikeastorm thanks for being an excellent hypeman and getting my rusty writing gears going again by inspiring me with your lovely fic. Everyone go read cascade ocean wave blues come on ao3, it's the best thing since sliced bread 👌

[qfzeeph]

felt like gushing about the silly blue man today so here's a rare "you get zeeph writing" moment!!

♡Kaito (Vocaloid) x Reader/Master HCs♡

♡this be fluffy, with a teeny tiny bit of spicy jokes towards as a treat. that's about it♡

♡ So, what is he exactly? You have no idea. Some sort of weird ambiguous cross between an android and just a regular ordinary human it seems? But that air of mystery is part of what makes him so charming. You wouldn't have even known he had mechanical parts somewhere within him if he hadn't spoken to you. You can definitely hear it in his voice (though sometimes when he sings it's very easy to forget!) and through some of his mannerisms, but he just seems to be a regular human guy otherwise. Don't try to ask him about it either, because he's not even quite sure himself. All he knows is he woke up one morning with the mission to make people around the world happy and that he's got some sort of internal machinery and coding within him. ♡Absolute cuddlebug. His favorite time of day is when you're snuggled together under a warm blanket. Need I say more? They don't call him "Cozy Kaito" for nothing. He's warm like a space heater, but not uncomfortably warm. ♡Cut the fancy date crap, he'd rather go out for ice cream or a romantic walk in the park. It's the little things for him, and ice cream of course. Taking him out to get ice cream means the world to him. ♡However, he isn't afraid to spoil you silly with little things either. Flowers, candies, various treats, you come home to them all the time. Any of those little things that make your day a little brighter he's gonna do for you. Your smile is incredibly important to him, and he wants to make sure you're feeling loved whenever possible. ♡He's your biggest cheerleader. He wants to see you succeed and will relentlessly hype you up for whatever you're doing. If you are to fail, he'll be there to soften the blow and get you back on your feet to try again. ♡Sometimes, you have to remind him that ice cream and cuddles isn't going to solve every problem. Since he's programmed with the task of making others happy, sometimes he forgets that and may push a little too far when you're stressed. He tries his best to catch himself, and while he is learning to combat that initial urge to cheer you up sometimes he still slips up. Just a simple "I need a little space right now" is more than enough to remind him though. It was hard for him to hear at first but he quickly understood. ♡Another "programming quirk" he has is calling you "Master." If you like that, he won't stop! But if you're like me and would rather him just call you by your name, he'll happily oblige the best he can. However, in moments of passion, he might let a "Master" or two slip out, or combine your name with the word. I'm sure it'll make for some cute pet names. ♡On the topic of pet names, he loves them. Thinks all the little nicknames you give him are super cute. He'll definitely try and find some for you too on the "cutesy-romantic" end. ♡Even Kaito gets sad. He struggles with the idea that he's a failure occasionally and that he's not doing enough. A little love from you is a quick fix, and over time with your care he may even overcome that mindset.

♡He loves to go out places with you, whether it be for errands, work, or fun. If he's not sure about where you took him though, don't be surprised if he clings to you like a lost puppy for a bit until he figures out what's going on. ♡Speaking of cling, he's a clinger. Loves to hold your hand, walk with an arm around you, carry you around the house, sit with his head on your shoulder (or your head on his shoulder!) ♡Kaito plays a lot of different roles when he performs. If there's a specific one you like, he'd be more than happy to add bits and pieces of that role to your interactions. Of course, his usual goofy self will always shine through. Though he's also willing to apply playing the role to other scenerios if you so desire (wink wink) ♡Loves to sing to you. There's songs he sings to you that'll never leave your room, both in a spicy sense and in a "I don't want anyone else to hear this because I wrote it for you and you alone" sense. He also likes to learn the words to your favorites (mainly non vocaloid, or vocaloid songs that don't feature him if applicable) and sing them to you! Expect a lot of sappy, cute song outbursts during your time at home, and occasionally when you're out too but not quite as often. Though you may catch him humming the melody to one of your favorite songs while you're out and about! He'd be incredibly happy if you sang along with him too. Even if you think you can't sing, he'll tell you you've got the voice of an angel. Author's Note: For me personally, I like to imagine he'd sing the chorus to "You Are My Sunshine" every night before bed. But that's just me :) (please click on that. I'm begging you. I have no idea why that video only has like 100 views on it as of me writing this because it's literally so good and heartwarming and it's also like the full song which is honestly pretty sad in terms of lyrics in retrospect but the chorus gets me real good real good reeeallll goooooood.) ♡Last, but not least... The scarf stays on. no exceptions. If you catch my drift ;) (okay. one exception, to throw it in the washer when it gets dirty.)

fhsdlfjsdlkfjsd hope you enjoyed me drooling all over the place with this. I'm starting to become shameless when it comes to sharing this kind of stuff in the best possible way. it's the lord's year of 2024 imma do what I want and write about all my favorite fictional men

[alittlebitofloveliness]

If you had to put the Curtis Gang as characters from little women, who do you think is who?

HI ANON! this was such a fun one as I've been obsessed with both these stories for ages

So ik MOST people would put Ponyboy as Jo but I actually think he's not as Jo coded as STEVE FUCKING RANDLE is so Steve gets to be Jo because he's very full of love but also full of anger, and I think he's the person in the gang who would struggle the most with everyone growing up/moving on so Steve is Jo, argue with the wall

Johnny has to be Beth, they're both quietly kind and morally good characters, even if due to the time period and his gender Johnny does not outwardly express it as much. They're ALSO both doomed by the narrative since page one soooo

Ponyboy is Amy (anon I MIGHT have an inkling of who you are based on a post I saw about this and you're so right for it) because he's an outsider in his own family, one of the youngest and excluded from some things because of it but also a bit pampered, and because he's his family's big 'hope' in that he's the one who's going to pull first himself and then the rest of them out of poverty (amy has to do this by marrying rich, pony has to do it by going to college)

I'm inclined to say Darry as Meg ONLY because I can't think of anyone who would fit him better. On some level it works, especially if Ponyboy is Amy, because the pressure for amy to 'rescue' the family came after Meg married lower than she was 'supposed' to, which is similar to Darry having to drop out of college, leaving Ponyboy the family's 'hope'. HOWEVER I don't think Meg as Darry fits perfectly because Meg IS kind of selfish in a way Darry isn't, because Meg does get married and leave her family and never look back, even when they needed her, which is something Darry would never do.

Soda is Laurie, he's fun and passionate and thinks with his heart before his head, always. This also might just be me trying to push the Stevepop/randlepop agenda, because Laurie was down bad for Jo the way Soda is down bad for Steve. (Whether Stevepop is requited in this universe or if they follow the same traic storyline as Little women thats up to y'all to decide)

uhhhhhh this is getting harder and harder I'm running out of LW characters-

Dally could maybe be Mr.Lawrence? They're both pretty cranky and intimidating by first glance but they both have a hidden soft side, and their favourites are well known (Mr.Lawrence adored Beth much the same way Dally adored Johnny)

Uhhhh I can't think of one for Two-bit tbh I don't see him really fitting with any of the little women characters, Two-bit is too unique of a character he does not project well imo

Thanks for the ask xx