#Why is Beck's name still Beck? bc I'm bad at naming

[murderbees]

evil thoughts have taken ahold of me

featuring Rinzler, Beck, and the Black Guard Test

this is kinda long

Rinzler is the final test. Every black guard knows this. He doesn't know why it took so long for him to be approved. Beck should have been down there cycles ago. He fights better than most of the other rectified programs, and they could kill a BASIC easily. He was great before the rectified him, now he's almost perfect.

The walk to the stadium is rhythmic, each step matched perfectly to the rest. Their shoes clack in unison against the floor as the arena opens around them.

It's bright, but the helmet filters the light easily. A list of parameters and directions scroll down his vision. It's dismissed quickly. He knows what he's here for, and he's seen many tests before.

When they stop, he looks around. The platform rises, but it's clear and flat. Surrounding him are the other potential black guards. They are few, 10 at most, and half are rectified. He stands just to the left of center, it's a good position.

The audience roars and roars, whether for their deresolution or their survival is unclear. He filters it, halves the volume. They're useful in their own way. Anticipation over clever setups invisible in the arena, screams as a disc rebounds unoticed, the reactions just factor into his strategy. Use everything in a fight, especially your surroundings. He forgot who told him that.

He doubts that more than 3 of them will pass, and hopes the rest have the decency to derezz somewhere avoidable. The last thing he wants to deal with is watching his step. Voxels, despite their shape, are slippery. The spilled energy will be a problem too, but sometimes it's a hidden advantage. Most programs don't know but even processed energy can be absorbed, if you have the mods for it.

His teeth and hands ache as he remembers. The cycles spent on that table were numerous. Night and days blurring as his render cracked and split apart. It was put together just as gently, which is to say, Dyson seemed to take great pleasure in shoving sharp angles and harsh clawing routines into his sore code. There are still sections that chaff and clip into each other, but he's learned to ignore it. His claws click against his baton. He won't be using it.

They stand, eerily still. Across the stadium, a screen lights up, announcing the grand champion and their doom. The roars grow louder, shaking the various screens and reverberatng through his chest.

Rinzler makes no sound. His moves are sleek and smooth. His armor glints under the lights, and that purr saturates the pit. The program next to him starts to shake, their baton tapping against their armor as Rinzler takes position. That's the issue with non-rectified programs, they fear.

A loud buzzer sounds and the walls raise around him. A countdown sounds as he plans his route.

10

A display flashes across his vision.

Last 10 microcycles. Land at least 5 hits on Rinzler.

9

Hmm. Odd, usually it's 3. He blinks it away and turns to watch the other programs. The 5 Basics start to shuffle, he and the 4 rectified stay still.

8

The walls halt. In the corner of his display, he draws a map of the walls. It's not complete, but he'll add to it as he runs.

7

One program walks to a corner, she's shaking. He knew she wouldn't last.

6

She curls into the wall. He takes a step toward her.

5

The other rectified turn to each other. The Basics nod to each other. She derezzes her helmet.

4

Beck stands in front of her. She looks up.

3

She must be an idiot. He crouches.

2

He holds his hand out. She smiles.

1

She puts her hand in his.

Start Challenge, Let the test begin.

He yanks her forward. Her eyes widen, she falls easily. She hasn't hit the ground before the voxels clatter across the ground. The arena is silent for once.

He stares dispassionately at the mess. It got on his helmet. He wants to sigh, but there is no time. His hand dips into the pile, seeking the energy seeping across the floor. Behind him, one of the Basics starts to yell.

It seeps across hidden channels in his armor, illuminating his body. It looks like lightlines, but only for a nano.

The audience is whispering, the sound glides over his audio processors. The other rectified programs are grouping together, hoping that if they attack together, they might survive. The Basics are horrified, they'll be derezzed shortly.

He ducks before he registers it. The orange disc slicing above him, zipping through the program behind him. The energy splashes across his back. He lunges to the side, narrowly dodging the second.

Rinzler is quiet as he dispatches two of the others. The rectified jump into action, discs flaring and batons rezzing. Beck sprints into one of the halls, he doesn't look back as the clinking of voxels echoes behind him.

He flips up, rezzing his baton and jamming it between two walls. He swings, once, twice, and flys up onto the walls, circuits flashing. The audience roars. He has watched all the previous matches, no program has made it above, no program has tried. No warning blares in his vision. Either it's never been out of bounds, or no one thought it was possible. It doesn't matter either way.

He leaps across the gaps, cataloging the paths and turns. Above the pit, names are being crossed off quickly. There's 5 micros left and 3 names.

1 Basic and 2 Rectified. None have completed the second parameter. The counter dings above him, the Basic landed another hit. The rectified darts below his feet. He watches and waits.

The biggest challenge isn't hitting Rinzler, it's surviving. The longer you stay in combat, the more injured you will be, the harder it will be to survive in the end. Conflict must be saved until the end. The threads he spins are near invisible, but Rinzler is a moniter, he'll see them like a light trail.

The board above him buzzes, now it's just him and Rinzler. He drops into the maze and hits the ground running. 3 micros left.

The borrowed energy buzzes under his render, surges through him, but he has self control. He won't use it until necessary.

He reaches an open space, it's his best bet. More room to manouver but flat. There is no high ground here.

Rinzler proves him wrong. The purr registers just as the disc cleaves past his helmet. He's standing on the walls, just like Beck was. He thought Rinzler hadn't looked up, he was an idiot.

It's a dance before long. Beck flips and rolls and jumps. The arena boasts burnt slashes and puts from Rinzler's disc. The purr increases, almost crackling. When the next throw doesn't come, Beck stares up, ready and waiting.

Rinzler leaps into the space, discs arcing across the space, but Beck dodges then blocks. He filters out the audience completely. He can't afford another distraction right now.

Rinzlers back flips over his own disc as it ricochets into the air. Beck flattens, slams his disc into the ground next to him, the floor gives out and shatters into bright pixels. Rinzler's discs fly back into his hands.

Beck swings his legs up, catapulting himself into the air, and as he spins, he parrys one of Rinzler's discs. He lands briefly, kicking off again and flipping over Rinzler. By the time his feet touch the ground, Rinzler's legs are sweeping out, but he expected that.

His disc stricks down, forcing Rinzler to thrown himself back. Beck advances, but never throws his disc. It's a flurry of light and limbs.

Beck gears up, letting the stored energy flow into his arms, and hits one of Rinzler's discs. By now, they had fallen into a pattern, almost a dance. Block, parry, throw, flip, duck, strike. But as the energy flows across his shoulders, Beck manages a smile.

The disc spins out of it's path, racing into one of the halls. It cuts an orange cord.

Rinzler doesn't falter. He punches and kicks and slams into Beck. Micro fractures open along Beck's limbs, but he's happy. The fight is just slightly more fair. Now that they're both down to one disc, Beck can finally get some hits in.

He tilts his head left, letting the disc slice across his helmet, sparks flying. He doesn't see Rinzler's fist as it slams into his side, micro fractures splitting into full glowing crack. His audio and visual are cut off for a moment as errors race across his display. All he can see is red.

He's knocked to the ground, but as he falls, he grapples onto Rinzler, dragging him down too. They roll across the ground, hissing and crackling as they go. It's bad form, but Beck derezzes his helmet to bite down onto the arm trying to slip across his throat.

The punctures let the smallest amount of energy seep into his mouth, not enough to help anything, but he hopes the shock will give him time to think. Rinzler's purr turns to cracking, the sound grates over Becks audio precessing. His hesitation gives Beck the opportunity to tear his head back, voxels flying into the air as he crunches down.

Somehow, during all this brawling, he's managed to fulfill the hit counter. All he needs is to survive for 25 more nanos.

Rinzler throws himself back onto his hands, twisting in the air and lands across the arena. Beck scrambles up, wincing at the damage he'd sustained. He can't keep this up for much longer. Rinzler shifts, posture falling the tiniest bit looser and Beck knows playtime is over.

They're in a standoff, but he needs to draw this out as long as he can. He shifts back into a fighting stance. 20 nanos left.

Rinzler rushes forward and Beck evades and parrys. His arms are too weak to block. Any stored energy he has left is gone. This isn't about passing the test anymore, he needs to live. He wants to live.

Rinzler's strikes are direct and forceful. There's something familiar about this, but he doesn't have time to dwell. He sacrifices his right hand to dash across the clearing and into the halls.

He weaves through the orange threads, listening to them snap as Rinzler chases him. 10 nanos.

He trips over a new thread, the same color as the rest. On the way down, he thinks 'of course, Rinzler didn't just follow me up onto the walls, he copied my threads too.' and slams into the ground.

His shoulder starts to derezz as he skids across the floor, smearing light blue energy everywhere.

He doesn't get the chance to groan, Rinzler pounces. His foot slams into Beck's chest, cracks splintering at the impact. If the program doesn't get medical care soon he'll derezz.

5 nanos remaining.

Rinzler's disc flashs at his neck. He can't hear it, but Beck's sure the audience is screaming.

4

He sees his face reflected in Rinzler's helmet. Orange and blue interlace over his cheeks and jawline, and there's a smear of energy on his forehead. His eyes are grey, ringed in orange that pulses in time with his dimming circuits.

3

The disc doesn't move. He doesn't understand. Rinzler's other hand moves forward.

2

The gloved fingers brush over Beck's cheek, then dip past his ears.

1

His helmet rezzes around his face. Now they reflect each other, sparse orange light blinking in the dark. Something about this makes him unbearably sad, but he doesn't know what.

Challenge complete.

Beck collapsed back against the ground. Rinzler may be unpredictable, but he wouldn't disobey the directions, not at such a public event. Somehow he made it, whether it was his win or Rinzler's hesitation, he made it.

The walls collapse around them, but Rinzler doesn't get up. His disc goes dark, and that crackle becomes a grind. Something severe and harsh that has Beck attempting to crawl out from beneath him.

"Rinzler!" Clu's voice booms across the stadium. Rinzler's crackling ceases, he stands stiffly and retrieves his other disk.

Beck leans back onto his elbow, watching Rinzler. His helmet is pointed toward Clu's observation deck, but he's staring at Beck. Something unidentifiable causes his throat and chest to constrict. Whatever the case,

he lives.

[disaster-magician]

Step 2 mc ramblings woo!! Um, some things about mcs feeling anxiety, depression, insecurity, and rebellion, but I don't think there's anything too heavy! I promise all of them feel better and do have SOME happy moments in step 2 haha

Here's their step 1 ramblings below if you'd like to check that out as well! 😊

Nova Grace "Gracie" Woods. They are questioning their gender and use They/She pronouns. Sprite is slightly edited to give her a second lobe piercing and make the headband go behind their bangs bc that bothered the shit outta me. (Check out my pinned post to see the absolutely perfect full body refs of her I commed from Sunny 🫶🏾💕)

She hides a lot of herself that they fear are childish, only really feeling able to be themselves around Tama and Qiu. She still enjoys cartoons and has a special interest in space, but has taken up band(Percussion! What loud instruments for someone so quiet, who would have guessed?) and writing as well as still being an avid reader. They've done a complete 180 on scary things as well, now loving horror movies and games. Those things frighten her much less than they did as a kid now that she's dealt with the way scarier world of high school and trying to fit in.

Her Qiu has long hair with both accessories, and Tama has short hair with the headband!

Still as shy and nervous as ever, Nova goes through life insecure and sure she's being judged on a scale she can't see. She's too short and too heavy, it's weird that they prefer ASL and writing notes over talking, embarrassing that she still likes "kid" shows(her favorite show of all time is Gravity Falls and they love that they live in Oregon too! They'd gladly dress up as Dipper with Tama as Mabel if that wasn't for babies...) and stuffed animals, her different colored eyes are freakish, and they're covered in acne. All these insecurities sometimes leave her overwhelmed, and she needs to run to her safe space in the forest to hide.

She and Tama are still best friends, they've gotten official bracelets that say so and everything! If nothing else, those two can always count on each other for comfort and friendship. As for Qiu... well, as a teenager they've realized just why they always made her heart beat faster. She's got it bad, and isn't quite sure what to do about it. Not confess, that's for sure. They can't stand the idea of losing Qiu as a friend and can't bring herself to consider there's even a chance they might just like her back. Hopefully they'll learn that it's okay to express her feelings and interests, and not to be so harsh on herself.

I haven't decided yet if I'll keep her as bffs and crushes with Tammy, change it so she's bffs with Qiu at this time, or have her be best friends with neither and keep it neutral on the friendship side. Oh, also I'm headcanoning that Tammy's ribbon is cranberry and Beck's headband is gold and glittery so they can have accessories in each other's hair colors <3

Annabeth "Beck" Hyyde. She only uses She/Her, but is fine with all terms. She hasn't put a label on her gender as of now.

Her Autumn has short hair with the earrings and Tammy has the long braid with the ribbon!

Beck is still that happy, energetic person she's always been, now just a whole foot taller(she's like, 5'10. If very tall was a height option I would pick that for her) and with double the hair(I imagine that it grows freakishly fast, probably down to her hips or something when it's down). She's also started to prefer going by Beck rather than Annabeth to most. Qiu sometimes calls her by her first name while Tamarack and her Mamá only use Annabeth. She will very quickly shut it down if anyone but Tammy tries to call her Annie though. That's reserved for favorite best friends only.

She still hasn't quite figured out that she has a crush on Tamarack yet, just knowing that she finds her more amazing than most and her heart always beats faster when they're together. It would take a miracle for this sweet, oblivious kid to realize her feelings at this age. At the very least, she needs someone to spell it out for her. Or maybe if a certain glittery haired neighbor confessed first..?

She's joined the high school soccer team and already stands out as an incredible and talented player. It makes sense, she's only been practicing since before she walk as her Mamá likes to say! Her athleticism, bright personality, and unique looks have made her kind of popular already, even if she doesn't realize it. She tries to be kind and open to everyone, but her two neighbors will always come first.

She knows Tammy and Autumn are having a hard time right now, and will always make time for them to listen to their rants or to distract them with something fun. Their problems are much bigger than her own after all, her issues are just small things like struggling to maintain Cs in school and still forgetting words in english sometimes(and maaaaybe she has a problem with her Mamá dating if that turns out to be true...), she can push through and stay upbeat and happy for everyone! If she doesn't, who will?

The class clown, a jokester, whatever you want to call him, Eli always has a joke or bad pun ready to make people laugh and lighten the mood. He's leaning in hard to his comic relief role and will drop everything to help others if need be. He's stopped caring about rules and being polite like he did as a kid, adults don't know anything anyway.

Elijah "Eli" Anderson. He still identifies as a boy and uses He/Him, but has started to question if that's completely right

His Qiu has long hair with the choker and Tam has the long braid with no accessories!

He cares about his best friend Qiu and Tam the most, though. He's spent hours trying to cheer them up when they're feeling bad and thinking about what he can do to help. His reckless altruism concerns his Ma, but trying to talk to him about it has only led to arguments and points of tension that he doesn't know how to heal. Why can't she see that he just wants to make others happy?? He's frustrated that they don't see eye to eye with this and it's lead to frequent arguments, even though he desperately wishes to get along with the only family he has.

He doesn't care about school anymore, or really anything he used to. Everything is so boring in this little town, he just can't bring himself to care or do anything most days. The only thing that seems to make him happy these days is playing video games, but it's not like he can do that for a living. Whatever, that's a problem for future Eli. He'd prefer to focus on others anyway, the happiness of his friends is much more important to him than his own.

Cass is...temperamental these days, to put it nicely. She responds with huffs or sarcastic responses almost exclusively, and good luck trying to get her to say anything nice about this stupid hellhole town. She's always been a little ornery and rebellious, but lately she seems almost nightmarish in her demeanor.

Cassiopeia "Cass" Aoki-Jones. She still identifies as a girl and exclusively uses She/Her. She's decided that "Cassie" is too babyish and will snap at anyone who still calls her that.

Currently, her Qiu has short hair with the choker and Tee has short hair with no accessories! Honestly, for her playthrough I'll probably let past choices determine the neighbor's looks.

She hates this small town more than ever. She hates her stupid mother who dragged her here. She hates school and skips as often as she can without getting caught, and is completely checked out when she is there. She hates her bright blue hair and insists on dyeing it different colors instead. She hates most of the adults too, with the exception of Mr. Yusuf. Even that relationship is pretty rocky, and she herself doesn't know what has to happen to make it a good day for her.

The only things that seem to make her smile anymore are ballet and practicing guitar, and she puts more effort into that than anything else. She's getting pretty good at them too, if she does say so herself! (Opal has noticed her starting to bake in secret, and that seems to make her happy too. She doesn't dare bring it up though, afraid that mentioning it will make her stop and lose that bit of joy.) Most days, she just locks herself in her room and practices or does nothing but avoid the world.

As angry as she feels at the world, spending time with Qiu or Tee does bring her some peace. She feels relieved that she has someone to talk with about gender stuff, or to complain about complicated parent relationships. Or to just talk about how hard being a teenager is. Cass can recognize now that her feelings towards both of them is something a little different than friendship, but doesn't dare bring it up. What if saying mushy stuff like that makes them hate her? No, it would be better to just not say anything so that she can keep their friendship, one of the few good things in her otherwise miserable life. Just another thing she'll keep bottled inside, good plan Cass.

[starker1975]

Stephen Strange could play around with an apple and make it rot and go back to fresh and unbitten. They tryna tell me he couldn't have done the same glowy time-turning thing for Tony Stark as he was dying of his injuries? Enough so he could be saved? Also the whole team hand-holding thing in Guardians Of The Galaxy, why didn't they try that? People give me the excuse that Quill was a half-god at the time and I'm like ??? Thor is a God! On the Avengers team they also had The Hulk, not one but two fecken super soldiers, A mighty powerful Spider-Man, Dr. Strange and his magic buddies, The Scarlet witch, and mutherfucken Captain Marvel?! They couldn't have done the same thing to save Tony? To stand together in that epic battle against Thanos and his homies? Why were the rUsSos so willing to kill RDJ off, he was like one of the best things in the entire MCU. They could have thought something up to save him if they wanted to. Also I'm PMS:ing hard and I just get so upset sometimes with how they let go of Tony in such a way. Sorry, I just had to vent! ^_^

I think you’re completely right. I even had a seven paragraph rant typed out explaining why; I backspaced it all since it was long winded, but it all lead up to the conclusion that Tony died and sacrificed everything for nothing—for people who didn’t deserve or appreciate it. Not because he had to die, but because they wanted him dead. I went over a few key moments in the MCU where his unfair treatment is revealed, but here are two main ones:

In the beginning, he was originally rejected from the Avengers, and proceeded to save everybody in the battle of NY. Then, Steve Rogers still had his name go first on the memorial placard even though he barely did anything.

And in the end, they cut the scene on the endgame battlefield where every single hero took a knee to honour Tony. (I guess we should be grateful he got a funeral since Natasha got fuck all too. Easy to see who the writers’ favourites are.)

All that to show that he’s disrespected by writers and therefore the other characters themselves. Nothing he did was ever good enough for anybody, and he was consistently written off as an irredeemable douche. They gave him his happy ending and took it away. 😃 (although I would argue over whether an ending with Pepper was ideal since she mostly complained and rejected his identity for their entire relationship—again, a writer issue bc they tend to make women discontent nags. But still.)

I don’t know. It’s just depressing really. Tony didn’t have to die and he shouldn’t have. I mean…he’s iconic and a badass, so him dying while making the ultimate sacrifice and then getting a statue and documentary etc. is an excellent fuck-you to his doubters/enemies. But of course, it’s not as effective as it should be because people STILL talk about shit his pre-IM1 character, and Beck and his minions came for the barf glasses in FFH because they couldn’t let him rest. (Not to mention Toomes in Homecoming was anti Tony too as if he caused the Battle of NY—they even make Spider-Man villains be villains of Tony they hate him so much.) (even the Iron Man trilogy villains aren’t bad people Tony decided to stop himself, they were specifically people who HATED TONY. Stane and Hammer out of jealousy etc., Vanko for something Howard did to his dad, and Killian bc Tony was mean to him once.)

And that’s all just canon bullshit. Don’t get me started on the MCU fandom. I once saw a tik tok where someone criticized the new Captain America bc his intro on the football field with the marching band was too similar to Iron Man and his cheerleaders in IM2, meanwhile Steve Rogers used to have dancers and a play while he toured the front lines??? Like out of all the reasons this fool could’ve criticized John Walker, he chose to compare his MARCHING BAND INTRO to Tony’s Expo cheerleaders. Like what a fucking reach!!! (Meanwhile golden boy Steve can do whatever he wants and still be worthy of mjolnir) That’s how much people hate him lmao. Our king should’ve just snapped Peter back and let everyone else rot.

OOPS I turned it into a long answer again. Hahahaha. Anyways. Fuck anyone who isn’t Tony Stark. That’s my point.

[georgiapeach30513]

I love that Story talked to Beau about everything bc it gave them a good closure. But I feel like it would also be nice to see Azzie and Carter talking to each other, especially if Story was the one who insisted it. Azzie apologizing to Carter for using him in more ways than one especially in high school, and Carter apologizing to Azzie for ever pushing a relationship between them. Their duo is really such a strong one, and it would be so so so bad if it just goes down the drain. 🥺 They’re childhood besties after all. It would be so precious if Carter was one of Azzie’s baby’s godfather 🥺

No I love this, and was going to do something like this, and considering today, is Story and Carter day, it's perfect!! Azzie and Carter have such an odd past, they both truly wanted to be just friends. Az always was that girl who preferred guy friends over girlfriends, Owin and Joshua. She's headstrong, knows what she wants/likes, can come off cold, but she's not. She can seem to be a bit of a bitch, but she's just not an overly mushy person, until Beck. Carter and Az had to have a conversation, much like Story/Az and Story/Beau. Both Carter and Aster have a lot of apologizing to do. Did you see the Beck flower garden? Aster and Beck aren't finished with babies yet...

🖤🖤🖤🖤

You Better Learn

Summary: Aster and Carter have a chat

Pairings: Aster X Carter

Rating: angst

Warnings: mild language, vague mentions of Story's abuse, vague mentions of slut shaming, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 2.1K

Desperate Lives AU Masterlist

Carter Baizen Masterlist

Aster Drysdale Masterlist

Carter sits on the bed next to Story as she sleeps with her hand on their son. The little baby turned towards his mother, and he brushes her hair out of her face with a wistful smile. Story only stirs for a moment before he returns back to his work.

He's created a pattern of how he works. Spend time working, spend a moment looking at the pair. They also nap better when he's in the room with him. His schedule while relaxed keeps him so enthralled he doesn't notice Aster staring at the trio from the doorway. Cupping her hand to the swell of her belly, before she sighs turning to leave.

Carter finally notices, and closes his laptop softly. Giving a kiss to both Story and Otto before trotting after his oldest friend. "Az," he whisper yells. Even though she hears him, she keeps walking forward. "Azzie!" his voice a bit louder but still she doesn't turn. "Aster Sapphire..."

"Do not full name me Carter Rory Baizen. What do you want?"

"To talk," he giggles at her. She shakes her head no and heads back to her own room. "No, you're talking to me."

"What is there to talk about?"

"Hmm...I could think of several things to talk about. Where would you like to start?"

"You got your princess, nothing more needs to be said," instead of going to her room, she changes course to go to the kitchen instead. "Quit following me Carter."

"No, we're going to talk."

"Why?"

"Because."

She stops and turns to glare at him. Her eyes squinted and beady as she looks over his face. "That cleared up nothing."

"You don't think we need to talk? I'm a dad, and you're becoming a mother...I thought we would share that together."

"You're not a dad, and that's all you've ever wanted was to share being parents together, and then when you couldn't have it you went for the younger version of me," Carter slowly nods his head, and goes to walk past her in the kitchen. "Don't walk away from me, when I'm talking to you. Carter Baizen!"

Going to the fridge he pulls out the almond milk before pouring a glass for Aster, seeing her almost drooling over the cold brew that sits in the fridge. With a roll of his eyes he pours the tiniest bit into her glass of almond milk and slides it over to her. "So you wanna talk now?" she only nods her head a bit.

"Good, so I can be brutally honest with my friend. I am not the biological father to Otto, but that's my son. So lets clear that up right now. As for the other comment, I deserved that."

"Damn right you do. You ruined a perfectly good friendship over and over again. First when you wouldn't stop pestering me about having sex, so I just gave in. Then in high school you didn't want other boys to talk to me, because I was yours. I wanted you as a friend, but you were so incessant of making us work as a couple. And then when you couldn't have me, you went after Story. She was seventeen Carter. Do you realize that? She didn't need you coming after her."

Carter takes a deep breath looking at his friend, and realizes that he owes her a lot more than an apology. Explanations more than anything. "Can I start from the beginning?"

She huffs out air taking a drink of the milk, and gags, "There's too much milk in my coffee."

"You're pregnant."

"I haven't had any coffee today. Please, and then I'll let you start from whatever beginning that you have."

Getting a new glass Carter pours mostly coffee in it, before throwing two packets of stevia to Aster, and she pours some milk into the glass. Taking a drink, she sighs at the taste. "Proceed, now."

"You've always been one of my best friends, and you know that. When my mom saw our friendship she tried to mold it into a relationship. We're old money, and you marry people to further your wealth, and to look good in front of the elite. A Drysdale was a perfect fit for me. Caroline was engaged to TJ Hammond by the time she was four. We see how that arrangement went. I let my mother get in the way of our friendship. She poisoned my mind, and all I wanted was to please her."

"So you never liked me like that?" Carter shakes his head no. "Not even a little bit?"

"You're attractive, I'll give you that, but that feeling? No, all I wanted was you in my life. Riding bikes, climbing trees, swimming, playing, coming over here to spend time with your family. I got a little bit of normalcy here. And when I went home it was always, 'Carter, have you made your move?' 'Carter, that girl will find someone else with a bigger dick if you don't act.' 'How hard is it just to get a girl to fall for your money, you're not that unattractive either?' Constantly, always in my ear. It was exhausting. I shouldn't have pushed us to have sex. I shouldn't have pushed you in high school. I knew then that you never saw me like that, because you were a bitch anytime I brought it up."

"So you move on to someone more vulnerable, and easier to land than me. You knew how much she crushed on you," Carter holds his stomach and laughs. Retrieving his own drink from the fridge before sitting down. "I'm glad you think this is funny."

"Do you honestly think what I feel for Story was just what my mom said? She hates me living here. Hates that I call another man's child my own. She thinks Story has trapped me. And I'm tired of feeling sorry for how I feel. I love her. I guess I always have, even when we were younger, but then...Az, I think you know deep down, what I felt for Story then was love. Who was it showing up to my door, flashing your lingerie? You saw me with your sister, and then you try to seduce me to make a point I see. Didn't work though did it? I closed the door right in your face, and you still can sit there and think that what I feel for your sister is this ploy from my mother to marry into the Drysdale family."

"She was seventeen, and in high school. What does it look like?" Carter reaches into his pocket and pulls out the rose necklace, leaving Aster to stare at it. "Is that?" he nods his head. "Why do you have that?"

"She gave it to me, before...our first time together. Her first time."

"You took both our virginities. Great. That's just great. Why do you carry around with you?"

She watches Carter's fingers slowly move over the white petals, staring at the flower that he gave to Story, and she gifted it right back. "Did she ever tell you what I told her about this flower? Whoever owns the rose, owns her heart. She gave it to me that day, and told me that I owned it. I have kept it since then. After we, uh, that night here it was a bittersweet reminder that she was mine. I see now that your anger is more than what I did to you, but what you think I did to your sister. Can you not tell how much I love her? There is nothing I wouldn't do for her or our son. If I would have been patient with you, and let us just be friends, we wouldn't be here. If I would have been patient with Story, she wouldn't have gone through what she went through."

"She wouldn't have Otto."

"She wouldn't. She would be a different woman. Do you see the changes in her?" Aster nods her head with tears in her eyes. "I know you two haven't had the best relationship. You envied how easy she made people gravitate towards her. Envied the time she took away from people you had first. She was spoiled."

"Still is."

"So are you," Carter laughs. "You all are. Spoiled in things yes, but spoiled in love and attention. Most of us that grew up in this world, didn't have one parent, much less both that doted on us the way yours did. Your mom and dad, even Harlan, enjoyed you guys. Your dad kept wanting more kids, because he loved you so much, that he hated when you got older. You don't realize how fortunate all of you are to have people like that in your corner. People that would do anything to make sure you're happy. That's what I want with her, what I thought I wanted with you, but that doesn't mean, that I don't want you happy."

"I am."

"No, you're not. I know you better than anyone, except Iris. You're not happy. You're putting on this front because you think that's what everyone wants to see. Just because Mickey is Eliana's father doesn't mean you have to let him walk all over you. He has to earn the right to be in your life and Eliana's life. Because you Az, are perfect. You will be an incredible mom, whether you choose to do this alone or you find someone better and worthy of you and her. Do you think that person is Mickey?" she shakes her head no. "Then why do you do this? You are a strong woman, you don't need a man to help you raise your daughter. You did this with Scott, you weren't happy with him. You even did this with fucking Chase Collins."

"You just hate him now, because of what happened between him and Story," for someone who always holds their temper in check, Carter loses it, and slams his fist on the counter.

"He was always a prick. Do you remember the rumors he started about you? And you want to hold him to a different standard because you knew him? He was a prick with you and he was the lowest form of asshole with her. But it started with you. I never liked him. You deserve so much more than the assholes you align yourself with, and I was your first asshole. I pressured you first, and I'm sorry."

She takes a long sip of her coffee, and watches him. Carter had changed, and she was too into her own life to notice it. He always had this soft and yet commanding presence, but now he was just soft. Grown up in a way that only time and experiences can change a man. "I'm sorry, too."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I do. I have put all this blame for our friendship on you or Story. I claimed to be your best friend, and I never listened to your problems. It was always you listening, and I should have known what your parents were doing to you. I at the very least should have leant an ear for you to talk to. You didn't deserve that either. I know what Chase was saying about me, and even when you mentioned it, I didn't care, because I just...I don't know, I wanted you to hurt in the way that you hurt me. There was a switch with you, when your pushing to be in a relationship hit its peak, but I should have seen that there was no feelings behind it. That's all on me. I don't regret our friendship Carter, I just regret how neither of us could talk about this. We're shitty friends."

Carter laughs, and the monitor in his pocket hears a crying Otto, and then Story softly singing to him. He looks up at Aster with a smile. "She makes you happy doesn't she?"

"Yeah. So does he."

"You always saw yourself with a princess, and her being a mother to your kids, huh?" with a smile he gives her a nod.

"Ever since I saw your mom in that white dress. Her working less, and when she did it was from home, with you guys right next to her. She always became this idea in my head after that."

"We should have always known it was going to be the Princess of Boston, huh?" Carter turns and starts to head back to check on Story and Otto. "You ever gonna make her the Queen of Boston?"

"One of these days, if she'll have me."

"I think she's always had you, Carter. All of us were just a little bit slower to recognize that."

"Not her."

"Story Drysdale is a girl who knows what she wants. Looks like she got what she's always wanted."

With a crooked grin Carter responds with a, "Me, too," before heading back upstairs. "Lunch tomorrow with all of us Azzie!"

"I don't do diapers!"

"You better learn!"

Masterlist

[carraville]

Hi there I'm writing a fic and wondered if you could help me with something. I don't know an awful lot about David beckham Paul scholes and Phil Neville. I know your a man Utd fan and you'll probably love them all haha but just tell me what they're like from what you can gather as people and players. Even if it's just your opinion that's fine! Thanks so much for your help

ok SO i do love them a lot and i know much more about them than i ought to, so much so to the point that it might be more useful if you had something more specific you need to ask about, because i…am far too involved in them??? buT general-wise i wrote a draft primer on the co92 a while ago and I’m just going to copy and paste from there and hope this helps!!!! 

putting this under a read more because this is....long

BECKS:

Everyone and their mum (especially their mums, probably) knows who David Beckham is, but did you know him when he thought that curtains were not just to make windows pretty but also for hair? Did you? Because curtain becks is almost as bad as half-alive mullet becks (although nothing can beat cornrow becks in the history of what the fuck were you thinking, let’s be real).

What can I tell you about Becks that you don’t already know? He has OCD and has to have an even number of coke cans in the fridge. He took cooking classes when he was at Milan and learnt how to make pasta (a far cry from his humble beginnings in Gary Neville’s kitchen). His middle name is Robert for Bobby Charlton. He’s honestly a more down-to-earth and clever bloke than people give him the credit for and he’s really just a little boy who’s loving what he does and works incredibly hard for it? A lot of people always remember the underwear modeling (for good reason, I mean, have you seen) but in doing so they dismiss his playing days, which is ridiculous because he was so fucking good. And hey, you can be good at both football and looking like a life-sized, anatomically correct Ken doll! His crosses were exquisite, his free kicks were sublime, and the partnership he had with Gaz is still guilty of murder for killing me through old, grainy youtube videos. Also everyone’s always keen to stress that he’s never really let fame change him or the way he deals with people, which is lovely.

If you wanna kill urself, watch his retirement interview with Gary, because it perfectly sums up who he is. Boy from Leytonstone who wanted to play football. He’s so insistent on being remembered as a player that it really breaks your heart that more people don’t. No one talks about how he tried that Wimbledon goal every day in training, or how he still hits exquisite free kicks aged 40plus because he practiced them for so damn long. He’s a beautiful talented hardworking boy and I lov him!! and he’s not arrogant or anything at all he’s just so cool!

Becks left United in 2003 after a bit of a bust up with Fergie, even though they remain on great terms nowadays. It broke everyone’s heart, it broke Gary’s heart, but it wasn’t so bad for Becks bc he found a Spanish goalkeeper to frolic around with. Still couldn’t watch us play for years, though, so there!!! In 2007 he moved to LA Galaxy, in 2013 he moved to PSG, and he retired then. It was great, he got thrown into the air and shit bc he was retiring so it wouldn’t matter if he broke his legs. ffs lads.

Fun fact: I still laugh at the fact that his house in Hertfordshire was called Beckhingham Palace

SCHOLESY:

My favourite story of him regarding this Intense Dislike for Humanity is this one: after the 2008 CL final, which we won, he was the first and only one on the team bus while everyone else was ostensibly getting drunk off their tits. At the next press conference, reporters asked him if he’d wanted to have some time to himself and reflect on how he’d finally gotten redemption for 1999. He stared at them and said, “I just wanted to go home.” 

IDC IF IT’S AN URBAN MYTH IT BASICALLY SUMS HIM UP ENTIRELY.

My other favourite story of him is him telling AC Milan’s president that ‘if you want me to play for you, you’ll have to buy this club’, because we’re the best club in the world. Seriously, his love for United is so great. Sometimes he’s described as an Oldham fan, but he’s said before that it was United first and Oldham second. Did I say ‘said’? I probably meant smoke-signalled it because this bitch is so hard to get interviews with. There’s this great one where he’d just retired or something so the BBC got him to do an interview and their first question was ‘is this a living hell for you, then?’ and his response was ‘it is, really, yeah…I’ve been thinking to myself ‘why the hell did I agree to this???’. I know people have been knocking him for talking a lot more nowadays but a) he’s a pundit, it’s his job to talk and b) I rly think it’s just because it’s his only link with football that he has left?? So he puts himself thru it, because he just loves football so much, and that makes me love him even more? The directors of CO92 had a kickabout with him and described it as watching a little boy play again and I think that’s just the most beautiful and pure thing and Scholesy is so pure. Except when he’s setting people on fire.

BC HE DOES THAT A LOT, like, you think he’s quiet so he ain’t gonna be up for much banter but, my dude, he is the most savage person you will ever encounter. The closest I’ve ever seen him come to pissing himself laughing was when he was describing attacking Phil with a 50-yarder and knocking a POOR INNOCENT BOY flat on the ground. Laughing at that! Also his sense of humour is absolute wreckage. Gary has the best story:

People think Scholesy’s shy and quiet but he’s one of the most cutting people I know. Example: the day Diana Law, who worked in United’s press department, was chatting with the players. “Gary, you remind me of my brother for some reason,” she said. “Why?” Scholesy replied, quick as a flash. “Is he a knob too?”

HAHAH u knob. AnyWAY this is getting long but tldr tiny ginger little shit who hates the world and would probably hate how much i love him. He debuted for United in 1994, scoring twice against Port Vale, and retired in 2011, then unretired in 2012 and waltzed into our starting XI, and then retired again in 2013. So the only person we could find to replace Paul Scholes was Paul Scholes. smh.

Fun fact: he used to steal all of Gary’s shit and hide things and he’s SUCH A LITTLE SHIT, both literally and figuratively, I love it

PHIL:

ok phil is just the sweetest purest cinnamon roll you will ever meet, ever, I mean you probably won’t ever meet him but u know what i mean. Sometimes I think he’s too sweet bc he’s such a dumb pushover. Someone once said he was everyone’s favourite Neville just by virtue of being not Gary. Which is hilarious. ANyway he’s a fuckin sweetie pie and family man who constantly refers to his kids has his babies even tho Harvey is, like, old enough to drive I think?? and he’s an incredibly good dad to Isabella especially who has cerebral palsy but he’s so!!!! supportive!!! and god what did we do to deserve this dumb boi. If we were doing a CO92/Spice Boys crossover he would be Redders hands down because he also gets a lot of stick, from his commentary to his analysis (I s’pose it doesn’t help when ur bruv keeps winning shit like pundit of the year), but he always takes it on the chin and laughs it off and keeps on being such a good person, kind to everyone he meets and genuinely good-natured. I love his self-deprecating humour, it’s the best thing. He also loves United a lot, altho probably not as much as he loves Gaz uwu

Ok, so he’s not the world’s most exciting or greatest player, but he was honestly rly talented and people can forget that?? I mean you don’t just make captain of Everton bc you’re the United captain’s lil bro. He scored some amazing goals when he was at United - maybe the olden day Jesse Lingard - not a great goal scorer but a scorer of great goals. And he was always so intent and almost enthusiastic going into things, which kinda mirrors his puppy personality, which I lov. because don’t let his puppy dog eyes and smile fool u, ok, he’s just as driven as all of them and he will get what he want. probably just with less blood and dead people than, like, scholesy.

He’s two years younger than the rest of them so he made his debut in ‘95 and then heartbreakingly left in 2005, going on to captain Everton (but not before scoring an own goal against us bc he loves us still really). He retired in 2013.   All these kids retiring in the same year! Tsk. It’s like they planned it or something.

Fun fact: he was a brilliant cricketer and used to play with Freddie Flintoff. A tear shed for the hungover Philip at Buckingham Palace that we never had