#Y'know... Like he's smart enough to know how stupid everything is (including him) and that's...I feel that

[isagisyoichi]

YOU MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL!

SYNOPSIS: niko as your boyfriend

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: niko ikki aka my boyfriend hello

WARNINGS: swearing, pretend all the boys go to the same school and they're all friends for plot, normalize not writing serious boys as someone that practically hates their s/o and never opens up to them god bless, also no such thing as ooc since we dunno shit ab him so everything i say is law. SUPER LONG LOL, it's like 2k+ words 😭

A/N: i love my boyfriend and i'm v happy about all the attention he's getting (even if he will prob will b subbed out 👎) this was fun to write bc i think he would b very soft as bf and also i hate the notion that stoic and serious = boring and detached in a relationship. also first post w the new user yayyyy rip yoichisagis an end of an era for realsies.

FOR: fox anon my beloved this one is for u😩

it takes a while for you two to get together, just because niko wants to think things through and be sure he’s making the right decision, as well as him being naturally apprehensive about this whole dating thing.

when you do eventually start going out, keep in mind you're probably his first real anything, so-

niko needs to take it slow for the first month or so because he needs time to adjust and get used to being in a relationship.

when he gets comfortable around you, niko starts to talk a lot more.

niko starts to talk about his interests more-soccer, stem stuff (idc i'll die by my hc that he's a stem boy), etc. and niko's really happy that you're genuinely interested in what he has to say :)

and as your relationship progresses, niko becomes more inclined to share his inner thoughts.

“this song is so bad, i hate it and how it's everywhere,” like, babe that sucks, but what do you want me to do, take it off the radio myself? 😭

you find out that niko’s kind of a hater LOL, but it’s okay, because it means he can be himself around you <3 and the mini debates you have with each other are fun.

he’s someone you can take shopping with you if you need a solid second opinion.

“ikki, is this cute?” you niko as you adjust the shirt you tried on in the fitting room mirror.

“no.” he’s so straight up LOL. “the blue one from earlier was better.”

“this one?”

“yeah, that one. you look really pretty in it.”

ngl though, niko’s not much of a mall person. he'd just follow you around like a little puppy LOL, but he doesn't mind too much because it's for you.

communication is important to niko!!!!! he wants someone that he can have real conversation about the things that matter to him, so he rly makes an effort to have that kind of connection with you.

niko's naturally funny but he isn't aware that he is lol.

but when he does try, i feel like his humor comes in the form of sarcasm and dry wit. likes poking fun at you here and there with a lighthearted jab.

"you're so weird, y/n," is the most common one.

niko’s naturally closed off emotionally (male aquarius 😒) but i, personally, think he’d really try and push himself to be more open with you, especially if you expressed for him to do so </3

he'd be really appreciative of someone patient and understanding of the fact that he doesn't open up easily, though.

but eventually, you become the person closest to him- niko confides in you a lot, which he’s grateful for because he usually holds everything in.

not one for pda or other lovey-dovey things in public, other than the occasional holding of hands but behind closed doors, niko’s so soft around you, it’s like he’s a completely different person.

also, i feel like niko’s real handsy with you, i get the vibe he’s super touch starved 😭

although it does take him a while to get used to physical affection, once he has, niko cannot get enough. he’s always touching you when he has no real reason to.

(and because you're his first relationship, i feel like it’s just natural that niko’s going to be kind of clingy towards you.)

“you okay, ikki?” you ask as niko suddenly wraps his arms around your waist from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“mhm,” he mumbles. “just wanna be close to you.”

niko likes when you sit on his lap when he’s on his computer. you can have your arms wrapped around his neck, your head resting in the crook of his neck, or you could just be on your phone or whatever, it doesn’t matter, niko just likes you near him.

you guys don’t really talk to each other when you do this, aside from niko occasionally checking up on you and asking if you need anything from him.

but other than that, you guys just enjoy each other's touch in silence. it’s one of his favorite things to do with you.

however, if you start kissing him in the middle of whatever he’s doing and keep it up for long enough, niko will drop everything to make out with you right then and there (also one of his favorite things to do with you).

speaking of kissing- you kiss niko first.

niko would try to plan your guys first kiss out because he wants everything to be perfect.

but, he ends up taking forever to execute it because he keeps overthinking and you can only wait so long before kissing him, so you take matters into your own hands.

his kisses are sloppy and juvenile at the beginning, but he’s smart and learns quickly what you do and don’t like.

likes being kissed on his jaw and forehead the most :')

if the team ever happens to see niko kissing you, they're gonna be so annoying 😭

"yooo niko's making big moves ‼️" "my son's growing up on me!😩" "good job *pats on the back*" and niko is red all over as he drags you away from them, muttering about how childish and annoying they are 😭.

but, they're all very supportive of you guys, even if they're embarrassing as hell 🙄.

they even give niko relationship advice- which luckily, he doesn’t follow (most of the time), because, let’s be honest, if you're getting unsolicited dating tips from a bunch of teenage boys, it’s probably bad 😭.

you’re the only person niko shows his forehead to. just know that having the opportunity to see it means that niko trusts you more than anyone else :’)

repay his trust by kissing his forehead lovingly and showering him with compliments whenever you can !!!!!!!!!!

“y/n, why’re you so embarrassing,” niko says under his breath, blushing as you hold his face and litter soft kisses on his forehead, rambling about how cute he is.

always looks for you in the bleachers when he has a game and you’re always the first person he talks to after.

and the fact that you make an effort to come as often as you can means sooo much to him. definitely considers you to be his biggest fan.

real classy with nicknames- uses “my love/love,” and “darling,” the most.

his favorite petname from you is "pretty boy." gives him butterflies each time he hears it.

the first time you call him that, he's confused, but after you explain that being called pretty is basically the highest compliment a boy can receive, he gets all soft on you.

only uses instagram to like and comment on your pictures and that's it 😭.

comments stuff like “you're so pretty” and "beautiful," without any emojis because niko refuses to use them LOL.

remembers the compliments you give him! they help with his self esteem and i feel like he values your opinion a lot.

so, tell him all about how cute and smart and talented and hot and funny he is and how much you love him and he'll replay it in his head 24/7.

i think he prefers to be the big spoon, unless he's sad- then he really wants you to hold him.

niko gives me homebody vibes, so expect relaxed dates, but still nice, yk?

what i mean is niko's not gonna take you out to get gas station food and call it a day 😭 he's classier than that and he always puts in effort towards dates.

he always plans them ahead of time and takes into consideration what he thinks you'd enjoy. and he insists on paying 🤗.

but, niko always does something special for days like your birthday or an anniversary, like go somewhere fancy if you wanted to or buy a nice gift you've been eyeing for a while.

helps you with your schoolwork, 100%. most of the time niko tutors you because he wants you to actually learn the material, but if you're feeling lazy and just wanna get it over with, niko will just give you the answers.

this is a big deal because i love him and all but, niko gives me the vibe he's super stingy with his work 😭.

"this is the last time i'm going to just give you the answers, y/n." niko sighs out. "you have to start doing your homework by yourself."

niko's said that dozen of times but he's still giving you the answers free of charge. can you guys say #whipped 🤣?

LOL speaking of school, if you ever text him during class, i highly doubt that niko would entertain you 😭😭 (it's out of love, though)

y/n 💗: hiii baby imy 🥰

pretty boy: do your work, y/n.

y/n 💗: ALL I DID WAS SAY HI

pretty boy: pay attention.

y/n 💗: fine ur so lame 👎

pretty boy: whatever you say. i miss you too, by the way.

he likes to moves your hair out your face because he wants to see your pretty face better.

which is why you have to do the same with him 🥰!!!!!! makes him blush like crazy.

gets soooo soft when you post him or even take pictures of you and him together :') just the thought of you wanting to show him off makes him soooo happy.

he won't entertain you if you make a tiktok, though LOL. he's very stubborn in his belief that it's stupid.

just stands in the background with his arms crossed if you try to make him do a dance or something 😭 (he does think you look cute, though).

niko has such nice eyelashes but i doubt he's aware of it 'cause he's, y'know, a boy 🙄.

"my eyelashes are ... cute?" he questions. niko wasn't even aware that such a trivial thing like his eyelashes could be considered cute.

"yes, oh my god," you gush. "they're so long and nice, i wish mine were like that," you groan, examining yours through the camera of your phone.

"you're so weird, y/n," he says, a blush staining his cheeks. "your eyelashes are nicer," he mumbles as he kisses your forehead.

he's one of those people that prefers to be alone, but you're the exception. you know?

niko likes to keep to himself most of the time, but that whole thing doesn't apply to you, because he'd choose to be with you over being alone anytime :')

[bigolbadblog]

What is your favourite food to make? Or a dream dish to make.

I LOVE making dumplings. I rarely get to do it bc it's so time-intensive, but when I do, I always make enough to share and have some to freeze for later.

My go-to is pierogies. They were the first dumplings I learned how to make (about two years ago now? wow), and I love the connection I feel with my ancestors when I make them. Crimping them closed with a fork and seeing my artistry when they're done is soooo satisfying, as is seeing the massive pierogi pile at the end of the day. They're also incredibly versatile- side dish, main course, even dessert pierogi!

At this point, it's become a personal tradition for me to take the last bit of pierogi dough and just go crazy go stupid with it- these experiments have included pb&j pierogi (do not recommend), aged marshmallow pierogi (better than you would expect), and my cat's wet food in a pierogi (obviously NOT something you should give your cat on a regular basis, but I think on very special occasions cats can have little a pierogi, as a treat. Anyways, he cried until I cut it up for him). Would my ancestors smile upon me for this part? I don't know, but not everything's gotta be about them. I dream of one day putting ice cream into a pierogi, but that's going to take a LOT of creative problem-solving.

There's also a lot of versatility in how you finish pierogies. You can do them plain boiled if you want less hassle, or you can fry them up in butter when you're done. For dessert pierogi, I lovvvve adding a bit of turbinado sugar to the frying pan to caramelize on the shell, but I've also tried giving them an egg wash, dunking them in cinnamon sugar, and baking them in the oven (not QUITE the same level of mind-blowing deliciousness as frying with sugar, imo, but it's still really good, and definitely a lot less work for doing larger batches and for cleaning up afterwards). My favorite way I've ever done savory pierogies was- with my old housemates, we had bacon pretty frequently, and we'd always tip the bacon grease into a mason jar we kept in the fridge to save for later. Kinda gross-looking, I will not lie, but damn if that shit wasn't fantastic for cooking brussels sprouts and frying up pierogies. With my current housemates, we barely ever cook bacon, and while I honestly don't miss the bacon itself all that much, I could cry for some bacon-fried pierogi right now, lol.

Anyways! Ravioli are also fun to make. I love rolling the pasta dough through the machine. They're not as crazy versatile as pierogi, but all the different options for saucing them help make up for that. I'm not too proud to use the good storebought stuff, especially if we're eating ravioli the same day I'm making ravioli (shit gets tiring! lol), or it's also super good to just toss fresh ravioli with some olive oil and a bit of grated parmesan and black pepper. But if we're just taking already-made ravioli out of the freezer, I have a roast eggplant pasta sauce recipe that is truly the bomb dot com.

Pierogi and ravioli are actually the only two filled dumplings I've made so far, but I'm really hoping to expand my range! Last time I was at the library, I saw a comic book style cookbook for various Asian dumplings, which looked really interesting- I almost checked it out, but library cookbooks make me so nervous, y'know? Like what if I get something on it... I guess I could just make copies of the pages I want and cook with those, that'd be smart.

So maybe that will be my next adventure! But it might have to wait a little while... a lot of dumpling-making involves boiling a lot of water, and it has been too hot for that kind of nonsense by me lately. But when dumpling weather comes again, I will be READY!

EDIT: I found the cookbook I was talking about! It's Let's Make Dumplings!, by Hugh Amano and Sarah Becan.

[inbox open!]

[irwintry]

Like Candy

Warnings: swearing

Author’s Note: stomp on the ground (sea bears take it as a challenge) i kinda wish i could rewrite this part but at the same time i dont wanna 

Word Count: 1.9k

part one

Ashton's life felt like clockwork. Everything fit together just perfectly, and he had it all planned to a t. He knew exactly what kind of life he wanted to live during and after fame. Of course, there were a few roadblocks here and there, but his life remained steadily consistent.

You played a big part in that. He was used to you, even though he was the biggest pest of your life. That he knew. He loved seeing you flustered, and a part of him wanted it to be because of other reasons. Except, Ashton couldn't have that. His plan didn't involve you like that, so he scrapped whatever pieces included seeing you. That meant no Scotty's, no sunny-side-up eggs, and no you.

He stopped holding parties, too. He feared you would show up announced so you could talk to him. If he was honest – which he really, really wanted to be, he would let you talk to him. He would stop the entire world to see you one more time. But, he couldn't convince himself to even drive by that diner that had every jam in the world but orange marmalade. It was okay because he didn't like orange marmalade.

"You're depressing," a friend of his pointed out one night. They were four beers in, and Ashton felt nothing.

"Don't say that," he told his friend (whose name did not matter). Ashton felt it was his duty to defend himself at every given moment. He wouldn't allow himself to feel vulnerable, even when he wanted to crumble. He wanted to admit he was weak. He wasn't the Ashton that you grew to hate at the diner.

One morning, he drove by Scotty's. The windows were gone, and the glass doors had painted red x's down the front. He accidentally honked out of frustration, which caused a parade of honks to echo down the boulevard. The diner had been cut out of his life for two months now, but it destroyed him to see it go before he could say goodbye. This also meant he had no idea how to find you.

He only knew your first name and that you had a pug named Horace. By this point, the only way of seeing you again was if you decided to knock on his front door. You wouldn't; he made it clear he didn't want to see you again after never going back to Scotty's. He could tell you weren't the type to chase after things, especially when they weren't even yours in the first place. But in a way, he hoped he was wrong.

That kind of made Ashton hate himself. Why couldn't he just be nice to you? He wanted to show you exactly how he felt, but he couldn't. He had become the definition of a stupid schoolboy being a meanie because he had a crush on a girl. The pure idea made it hard for him to live with himself. He wanted to take it all back. Ashton didn't like to apologize, but for you, he wanted to spend the rest of his life making sure you knew how sorry he was.

Maybe that was why he drove by Scotty's in the first place. He had to start somewhere.

Sometimes, he drove by that gas station off of La Cienega to see if he could spot you pumping gas. He would even stop there a few times to buy him a little more time... just in case.

Ashton felt really pathetic. To him, you were sweet like candy (you reminded him of a Hershey's kiss), but not a fucked-up Warhead like himself. If you kept him in your cheek, it would only burn a little less. Too much of him would be unbearable.

What he didn't know was that you wouldn't believe any of that. You saw right through his sour shell. You also felt bad for him, but you'd never admit that to the poor soul. After knowing him for as long as you had, you figured out why he built a wall around his feelings. His "likings" towards you were hidden behind cold glares and deep, unkind laughter. You wanted to forgive him for that, which is why it took you two months to shake off the complex emotions rattling around in your brain.

You were pounding on his front door at eleven o'clock at night– you were too tired of feeling this way. You were too tired of this open-ended story he wrote for the two of you, even if it meant rejection.

Ashton had been fresh out of the shower, his eyes droopy and exhausted from a long day of writing and brainstorming. A stained gray shirt adorned his chest, the heathered material tucked tight into sweatpants of a darker shade. He was just about to make himself a bowl of black raspberry frozen yogurt when he heard your rhythmic knocking.

Neither of you said anything as he opened the door with a tired smile – a smile that fell right as his eyes landed on your sad ones. He took you in, forcing himself to keep the damn door open because he needed to face his feelings. It was a miracle you were here; he wouldn't have found you if you hadn't shown up.

"I– "

"'m not gonna be mean," he said, his voice sleepy.

Already, things were off to a different start than you had thought. You figured he'd slam the door in your face with a roll of his eyes. You would knock again, and he'd shout something rude from the inside. Or, he'd let you in and fuck you over once again.

You nodded.

Ashton felt a bit of bile rise up in his throat, so he opened the door for you and swallowed it down while you walked by him. It was his body's way of pushing away any temptations to be as cruel and sour as he had been months ago.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked softly. He couldn't even believe he had enough strength to vocalize coherent words. "Water? Toast with jam?"

You chuckled to yourself. "'m good," you said. "I just– uh, I should've stayed home." You scratched your arm through the waffled material of your sweatshirt.

Ashton looked at you with wide eyes, and he let you continue.

"I thought it would be smart of me to come here and tell you everything that's been on my mind," you continued. "I thought I would waltz in and easily explain how you've made me feel. I mean, fuck, Ashton you played me. You told me you liked me, fucked me, and then left me there. I shouldn't have come because clearly you don't care, and you never cared." You started towards the door, proud that you had said all of that without shedding a single tear. When you reached for the door handle, Ashton stepped in between you and the metal.

"'s not fair," he whispered, it was quite wimpy at that. "Not fair what I did to you. I'd take it back if I could."

"Then why– " You took a deep breath. "Why did you do it in the first place?"

He sighed and instinctively reached for one of your hands; it shocked him that you didn't pull away. "A little messed up in here," he said as he used his other hand to motion toward his head. There was a light laugh that escaped from his lips, but it wasn't genuine. Seeing you and holding this conversation gave him the worst anxiety he had felt since his first stage performance.

You nodded but said nothing. You were waiting for him to prove himself.

It was like a bomb went off in Ashton's head. He gripped his hair, attempting to force the truth out of his mouth while every muscle in his face tensed as time passed. He had never been this awful at feelings, especially when the risk of you never believing him was so strong. Not only that, but he had no excuse to act the way he did around you. You knew he liked you. What he never told you was that he was absolutely head over heels in love with you and the idea of you. Most likely, it was the latter that drove him insane. He didn't know you, not enough to be in love with you.

"But you know me better than anyone else," he said out of the blue. He waited to see your expression change, yet it didn't. Maybe you agreed. "Y'know, I really don't expect you to understand anything 'm gonna say."

You raised an eyebrow. "Why? Because you don't think I'm smart, or something?"

"No!" Ashton had fucked up already. "Fu– no, that's not– I didn't mean to say it like that. You, like, really fucked my mind up. You know I like you, you know I– "

"Do I?"

He frowned. "I like you way more than I let out. I mean, it's fucking crazy how much I like you. You and Scotty's were my escape, and once I started going there for you and you only, I didn't know how to be nice. You were bringing out the worst in me, and to this day, I don't know why. I'm giving you no reasons to trust me or believe me. Literally no reasons. You have every right to be mad or confused, or to just fuckin' slap me if you– "

It was like a brick hit his face. He hadn't actually expected you to slap him, but he was glad you did. It stopped the word vomit from ensuing moments later, and it released whatever tensions you were holding back.

He breathed out, shutting his eyes momentarily so he could steady his emotions. "I wanted you more than I've wanted anyone in my life, and I didn't know what to do. I want you." He couldn't open his eyes. "I played you. I fucked you over. And I'll forever hate myself for treating you the way I did. I wanna make it up to you– I'd spend my whole life doing it, but I'd never blame you for walking away."

When he opened his eyes, he noticed your rosy cheeks. You appeared to have relaxed a little bit– even though your arms were crossed, and your shoulders were hunched over. You weren't looking at him.

"'m just confused," you whispered. You looked so small, and he wanted to do was wrap you up in his arms. "I've never met anyone who will confess their feelings to someone and then drop them out of their life like one of their hook-ups. I actually had feelings for you, too. Dunno how. You were fuckin’ cruel."

Ashton's face crumbled. He could hear his heart in his ears as he took a step back against the door. Had you ever told him how you felt before? He couldn't remember; like always, he had focused on himself.

After that, he didn't know what to say. The silence was burning into his skull after every passing moment and looking into your eyes was too overwhelming for him to focus on another thought. The situation he had put himself in created this. And yet, he no longer felt nervous. He felt every bit comfortable being this vulnerable in front of you– something that he never thought he would ever, ever feel.

"I'm so sorry," he breathed out, almost a little too hushed for anyone to hear.

But you had. You just nodded.

"It's late," he said. "Stay tonight."

"Ash– "

"Please."

You didn't react right away. This was the longest time the two of you had maintained solid eye contact, and it was too overwhelming to look elsewhere. You wanted to see those hazel eyes until colors failed you.

"Okay," you mumbled.

Ashton felt his heart skip. The universe was giving him another chance    

[seenashwrite]

Nash Watches & Rates Cheesy Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies So You Don’t Have To

(a.k.a. -  Nash Records Her Viewings Of Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies, which are fanfic in visual form & are gold. And yes, it’s a apparently a legit sub-genre. Best I can tell, if it’s not Christmas or Valentines, and there’s snow, then it goes. Spoilers abound.)

ETA: This adventure is now moving to @seenashblog, so my SPN peeps can rest assured they’ll not be exposed to this any longer - I have a feeling I’ll not be done purging my soul for awhile yet #bless my heart

As per last time during the Christmas round-ups, 4 and 5 stars mean the best of the lot, 3 stars means it’s not necessarily a waste of your time, 2 stars is up to your discretion, and 1 star means it is time you will never get back.

Here we go.

Winter Castle (people you've never heard of - Hallmark)

Holy shit, cliché on parade and nobody can act?! Jack-friggin'-pot. Zero chemistry amongst anyone, from family to friendship to romance?! Hot damn.

So they're all at this place for a destination wedding (a.k.a, Selfish And Life-Disrupting And Huge Expense For Guests Thing And Oh Here’s Our Registry Too, come at me brah), and everyone is staying in a hotel. HA! KIDDING! They're all in this giant faux igloo, and by "faux" I mean there are these church-esque doors in what is, I guess, a specially-flown-in iceberg on land. Google tells me it’s an actual place. 

Anyway, through the doors you'll find hallways (that have people carved into them, not creepy at all) which are lined with rooms. Suites? I never saw a bathroom door, doesn't damn matter, nobody poos in Hallmark's world. Oh, also, for lighting, we have Target pillar candles, then everything's backlit in '80s neon:

Are they shitting me?

But that's beside the point. Point is, it may be pretty to look at but in execution, it's stupid. No way people haven’t had to peace out and find a new joint to stay in because of near or actual hypothermia. Based on the warm, cozy, wood-floored, windowed, staircase-and-balcony-having rehearsal dinner area in a large building with stone wall exterior, this hotel actually has some, y'know, hotel to it. Lodge? Who cares, but I bring it up because of the standard precocious child who is there to bring everybody together whilst turning into a popsicle.

The poor kid is bundled within an inch of her life, dumb bunny-eared toboggan to puffy jacket, and is burrito'd in a sleeping bag, with a quilt on this bed that looks to be carved out of ice, as well, and I say "as well" because our leading lady is shown frequently perched on what looks to be a chair carved out of ice (fur puffy thing for ass protection) with her laptop on a table carved out of ice when she's face-timing her Not Gay Male Best Friend in a bow-tie and sweater vest back home, and - bonus! - he doubles as The One Person Of Color. Now, if memory serves, legit igloos made by actual First Nation(s) folks (meaning both Canadian and American - specifically, Alaskan - and probs any groups that found themselves in the way-way-North in the way-back-when and had to come up with this genius or, you know, die) are actually pretty damn warm once the fire gets cranking. Not to say you don't keep some fierce socks and gloves on, that's plain smart, but enclosed space with heat is enclosed space with heat - just don't lick the walls. That's good advice, igloo or otherwise. 

On that topic, via the article linked above, says one of the actresses:

"It's like an igloo," Mullen told the Standard. "The further you go into the hotel, it gets colder and colder. As you walk down the hallway into the different rooms, it's just getting into your bones." She said every time they called "Cut!," everyone would put on jackets to warm up. 

She’s incorrect - that’s not like an igloo. It’s too big, that’s why it doesn’t stay warm. I have *zero* desire to go to this place. That sounds like Dante’s Frosty The Snowman circle of hell. I digress.

I say all that to say, this movie is straight dumb because the script is basic bitch, they were leaning on the location and hard. It gets a star because they tried in the sense that they did use a unique setting, but the rest was neglected (the story and the casting). Everything else was so blaaaaaand, and the acting was so stilted and unnatural, and they cast the mother with someone who looks the exact same age as the lead gal/her sister (the bride), and then there’s this one chick character who was so pathetically desperate, and the leading man was such a pussy who wouldn't make a fucking decision, and they had our leading lady be all *sniffle* and tolerating that shit AND SHE JUST MET HIM BY THE WAY, and I just.... ugh.

1/5 stars

.

Royal Matchmaker (Bethany Joy Lenz - Hallmark)

This isn't an "official" Winter '19 jam, google tells me it's from the '18 spring movies, but everybody's bundled up, so I'm calling bullshit. It ain't half-bad, despite the fact that it's a “royal” one, who’d-a-thunk? There was one over Christmas that got a 4 (see link up top), and I never would’ve predicted it. But that was an oldie-goldie, this is now. This one has the traditional royal romance beats and, no shit, the sidekick is the same one from another "royal", the absolutely horrid "Christmas At The Palace”, from Christmas ‘18. I cannot reiterate how bad that movie was - not "My Christmas Love" bad, but bad.

All right, so - she’s a matchmaker from NYC, which is at least a new take on what's coming next - and you guessed it, a prince HAS to get married or some reason, even though it's mentioned they are under a Parliamentary system and not a monarchy, but he still has to because it's the 17th century, oh wait no it’s not. The king, who is from a random made-up locale (*sigh*) has hired her (and said partner) to find a suitable wife for his son, who’s presented as the typical eligible rich bachelor, and “presented as” is the key phrase. It’s one of the things I like about this plot, but it doesn't outweigh the bleeeccchhh.

For one, it wears me out, the making-up of countries. It’s distracting. If you’re gonna do royalty, the right move is to have the royal not be a king/prince but make it a duke/duchess jam, refer to the locale vaguely as a duchy in England or Ireland or Scotland or Sweden or Norway or whatever Americans will fall for, 'cause as a rule, Americans aren't typically hip to other countries' jams. Hell, say someone is a prince/princess, but it’s more in inherited title only - that’s what the 4 from the Christmas list did right. Nobody called him “Prince Whatever”, he wasn’t presented as this hot commodity, it was a nothing burger, we didn’t even find out that he had the title til near the end of the movie. I’ve digressed, back to this flick.

I detest the royal garb they’ve got lead dude in at the conclusion, it looks like you or I waltzed into Party City and slapped down $30 and walked back to the set. It’s ill-tailored and in too-bright colors and is, again, something utterly distracting that could've been avoided, and same with the king’s, too-small jacket to too-long length of slacks. All the women, including our main gal, are in prom dresses straight off the rack from Sears and J.C. Penney’s. This is not praise. The men are all in identical rented tuxedos with clip bow-ties. Thanks, I hate it.

I mean, and I hate that there’s a ball at the end at all, but it goes hand-in-hand with the core premise, which is that they’re on a tight schedule - ol’ Bethany has 4 weeks. They, of course, fall in love with one another, and props to casting because these two look good together and have decent chemistry, but that could be because Lenz knocks these movies out of the park - this is the third... maybe the fourth... that I’ve seen with her - she elevates everything she’s in. When I mentioned her to a friend, I was told she also elevated some shitty TV show that I never watched, so perhaps you are already familiar with her.

Anyhow, once again there’s too much filler and the ending draaaaaaags and then BOOM it’s done in the last three minutes, which is standard for these movies (both Lifetime and Hallmark), I’d say, about 95% of the time. The story was good in that the prince wasn’t a typical playboy and he kept his philanthropic side a secret because he didn’t want press invading these small villages and whatever he was helping rebuild - he genuinely likes getting his hands dirty and he actually knows how to do shit, he fixes a radiator at a community center at one point. Eh. I dunno. It had such potential in the front half, then just shit the bed in the back half, so it was half of a waste of my time. But you may dig it. It's far from the worst of Hallmark's offerings but, again, I think it's because of Lenz, she's the only thing getting it up from a 1/5.

2/5 stars

.

Oh… oh mah… what the... we interrupt the winter fare for what looks like a rando that’s snuck in and christ on a cracker, no. No. No. NO. The summary:

A woman begins an online relationship with a famous photographer, not realizing that she is actually communicating with the man’s young son.

This caught my ear because as I was sitting here writing up the last movie, it came on, and I hear this woman’s voice, her typing (so it’s her voice in her mind), then a man’s voice (as she’s reading), and I looked up when the man’s voice started switching to a kid’s (boy’s) voice back and forth every sentence or so - and then I looked at that summary, and….

NO

"Chance at Romance", it's called –> 0/5 stars, I don’t even need to watch it, what a stupid garbage fucking premise, and it’s gross, and I hope that shit kid gets punished, like as in, no computer til he's old enough to own his own home and pay for his own internet, because scumbag kid. If he has the balls to pull this catfishing shitstorm on a fucking adult and gets away with it, what the fuck will he do to manipulate girls his own age? Gross. IT’S A GROSS PREMISE YOU GREETING CARD FUCKTARDS

.

Love On Ice (Andrew Walker, who's in every fourth movie, and  the lead chick's familiar her name is Julie Berman - Hallmark)

Former pro skater, now teaching - don't worry, it's not the aforementioned “Christmas At The Palace”, despite the similar M.O. - and decides to go for one last run at regionals because the new coach in town who's teaching the next big thing is like "You used to be the next big thing, why don't you undo eight years of not training aggressively in, like, a couple weeks and compete against the girl I've been hired to make a winner, and I'll coach you both, because I have a boner for you and your shitty blonde extensions! No, that's not what he says, but that's the deal, yo. The next-big-thing's got an overbearing mother and, once his boner gets found out, here comes a new coach that used to be the former-next-big-thing's coach, and she's a horrible actress, she can't play sneaky-evil to save her life. I liked the two leads, and they did a better job than the other ice skating scenes/movies with concealing the real skater actors, but overall this was as boring as watching paint dry, I just wanted it to be over.

1/5 stars

.

The Perfect Catch (Nikki DeLoach and... shock of all shocks, no not really... our old buddy, Andrew Walker - Hallmark)

I swear, I don't know if Andrew Walker is on some mission from god, or being punished by him. I'm in the same boat, so I empathize. At least I'm not contracted. I can't speak for him, but I remain happy for DHJ, that he's escaped this purgatory, and is safe on the shore... at least, at present.

In any event, this one doesn't seem like a "Winter official", but there were jackets and no definite spring or fall standards (pastels or orange leaves), and it's airing now, so here we are. It seems to be baseball season, so I know they mean for it to be spring, but they are wearing coat-coats, not it's-still-kinda-chilly light jackets. I don't fucking care, I watched it, so I’m reporting on it.

It ticks many boxes on the Winter Fanfic Bingo card (forthcoming), specifically the ones that are carryovers from Christmas and will be carried over to all the Hallmark/Lifetime movies regardless of time of year. Because being formulaic, when playing the long game, is cheap and efficient, and in the restaurant business, or products made on a factory line, or in healthcare standards, things of that ilk, you want streamlined coupled with the trieds-and-trues. In writing? Not-so-much. It's lazy.

And speaking of restaurants, that's the first box that got ticked - our leading lady owns a restaurant and, next box, it's in danger of being lost. Other boxes include: our leading man is famous; he's the character that comes back home, leaves/might leave, then changes mine/comes back, and it's to stay!; adorable child who ideally will bring everyone together; a character's parents are dead. Blah-blah. Blah-blah-blah. Blah-blaaaaah-blah-bleh. <---- that had more variety than this flick. I mean, there's nothing wrong with this movie. It's vanilla. It's white bread. It's mashed potatoes with no salt or a touch of sour cream mixed in, no loading with shredded sharp cheese and crumbled brown sugar-and-cracked-pepper bacon and the barest touch of chives. I'm hungry, shut up.

It doesn't just get 1 star because it's not bottom barrel - everyone's competent in their acting, there's nothing outlandishly stupid about the script, it's not shellacked in Velveeta. I will say that they pull a little teensy, micro-twist with how they resolve his balancing a primo offer that in no way should he pass on career-wise fairly realistically. The very last scene is, of course, stupid and embarrassing.

2/5 stars

The next movie has palm trees, so officially not Winter. But oof.... it's got Kelly Rutherford and Cameron Mathison, both of whom are ringers. Hmmm. Yeah, I still ain’t subjecting myself to more than needed for this adventure. Oh, and they continue to play the basic-basic-BAAAAASIC-boring "Hope At Christmas" on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries", if you’re interested. It is a mystery to me as to why they continue to do so. Anyhow, there's apparently 3 or 4 more brand spanking new offerings from Hallmark for the next several weeks. 

More to come. I’ll reblog this with every new entry added to the top, so you can always just keep this post URL bookmarked if you think you missed it. Tell me if you want to be tagged. 

[theatreodyssey]

just for tonight [ jeremy heere x reader ]

Summary : Jeremy Heere is a socially ostracized teen boy at a Halloween party. After a meeting with his high school bully, Rich, he decides to get a supercomputer implanted in his brain to make him cooler. His friend, (Y/N), who is completely opposed to the idea lets their feelings spill when they take Jeremy onto the dance floor. An emotionally-charged kiss that never should have happened may end up being the best thing that happened to either of them.

Warning : arguments, drug mentions, underage drinking

Disclaimer : I do not own Jeremy, or any characters from Be More Chill. I don’t own you either.

Word Count : 2566

Author’s Notes : This is based more on the book than the play, since I haven’t gotten around to actually seeing it. It’s also written from Jeremy’s point of view, as it’s based on the novel. Also, I don’t condone underage drinking or drug use, but it’s canon in the book, so it felt right to include it.

Standing up against the wall of the Halloween dance, I watch Christine grind on Jake in her costume. Next to me, Rich, dressed as a giant weed leaf, drones on a little more about the squip. Hopefully, it’ll make me cooler. I can research it later, but right now, I’m at a party.

“Jere-bear?” I cringe at the juvenile nickname. There’s only one person in the world that calls me that, and that’s one too many.

“(Y/N)! Yeah?” I turn over to see a giant bird. Well, it’s not a bird literally, but my view of their face is obstructed by a plague doctors mask with a black beak that juts out a couple of inches from their face, and it makes them look like a crow or a raven of some sort. I’m not sure if that’s what they’re going for, because the rest of their costume doesn’t scream traditional plague doctor. Their entire form is draped over with a dark cloak. I catch myself wishing that they were wearing less.

“So, the Humiliation Sheets…” Their speech is muffled slightly through the mask, and their eyes are hidden behind the goggles of it. I hate that. They could have their eyes anywhere right now, and I’d never know. Not that they’d see much, as it’s rather dark in the party room. My own mask is still down, but I can rarely keep my anonymity around (Y/N). We’ve been friends since middle school, and they know me way too well.

Of course. The sheets that I mark all my daily humiliating events on. It hasn’t even been a day since my secret got out, and news has already spread from the popular kids to my unpopular friend. “That’s not why you came over here, right?” I know them, and this isn’t why they want to talk.

“Come dance with me.” They avoid the question completely. I glance onto the dance floor at all of my peers moving around in the overly obnoxious flashing lights. I’m not a good dancer by any means, but (Y/N) tilts their bird head at me and I can’t reject them when all they want to do is dance.

It’s not just dancing, of course. They want privacy in a crowded place, and the only way to keep our conversation quiet while still talking over the music is to get close. I take their hand and we make our way to the edge of the dance floor with them leading the way. Their hands gravitate toward my neck and wrap around me. I’m a little confused. All the other couples are grinding or convulsing in one way or another, and these songs don’t seem like slow dance jams, but (Y/N) was the one that wanted to dance, so I’ll sway if they really want me to.

I let my hands land on their hips. “You were listening, right? To my conversation with Rich about the squip?” I don’t see a point in swaying out here for nothing, so I get right to figuring out what they actually want to say to me.

“Not on purpose, but I heard everything.” They assure me in a chipper voice. Their posture is much too good, and they’re as stiff as I am (which is very stiff).

“You don’t like the idea of me being liked.” I lift my mask up and wear it on my head rather than my face. They do the same, and now their beak is sticking up in the air like a horn.

“You’re already liked, Jeremy,” They spin me a little and I feel the passion fill the room. They hate it when I get down on myself. “I don’t like the idea of you selling everything that makes you you for a couple of nights with pretty girls.”

“It’s not just that! I need help, (Y/N). All I ever wanted was to make it through school. And Christine. So, if this thing can make me cooler, I’ll take it.” My voice is rising now, but I doubt anyone can hear anything over the music. The lights are low, and (Y/N) and I are rather close. We’re a lot closer than we were just a couple of minutes ago. I don’t think that they notice, but I do. It’s actually better, I think. I don’t have to actually yell to yell at them.

“How cool can the squid make you if it lets Rich dress like that?” They lean their head over to Rich, who is still against the wall scoping out the Hot Girls. He’s been with every one of them, and he’s painted head to toe in green. I get what they’re saying. He’s dressed as a giant weed leaf with arms and legs (even more ridiculous than what I’m donning at the moment) and he still is considered cool because of his squip. (Y/N) means to deter me, but honestly, I just want it even more. I’ll talk to Rich again soon.

“It’s squip, (Y/N).” I correct them. I try not to do it in a mean way, since I am the one who mistook the word for “quick” not just ten minutes ago.

“That’s even dumber.” They chuckle slightly, their grip on my shoulders stiffening. They lean into me and I instinctively wrap my arms tighter around their waist. Even though we’ve known each other since 6th grade, their laugh seems different every time I hear it. It sounds new. I wish I could hear it more. Is that normal? I don’t have many friends. Are these normal friend-thoughts?

“Have you been drinking, Jere?” Their voice breaks me from my thoughts. I have to restrain myself from rolling my eyes because I know what they’ll say when I tell them the truth, and I can’t lie to them.

“Scotch. A little bit.” I glance at the wooden panels on the dimly lit floor. Various colors of lights dance across the floor. I feel a sudden aching in my chest.

“Aw hell, Jeremy.” They say under their breath. It’s a lot nicer than what I thought was coming my way, but I still snap at them.

“Why are you always such a buzzkill?” I whisper-yell. Not quite sure how people do that, but it’s possible. I regret it as soon as the words leave my mouth. Their eyes widen at my tone, and I think I need to add another section to my Humiliation Sheets.

Saying something I shouldn’t have. Being mean to a friend. Mistreating others.

I can’t decide a category. Of course, I could put it under a Mortification Event.

“Sue me,” There’s the snarky (Y/N) I expected. “I care about my neurological development. Y'know that illegal drugs are illegal to minors for a reason, right? Your brain doesn’t stop developing until age 24, so please take care of yourself.” The end of their speech is so soft and quiet that I can barely hear. If I wasn’t so focused on their slightly parted lips, which are mildly pink due to them ingesting a copious amount of punch, I may not have been able to make out what they told me.

I never give them enough credit for caring about me as much as they do.

Still, they’re annoying as hell. It’s not their job to lecture me when all I did was sip from Rich’s flask. “Maybe you should get a squip,” I press. “You’d sure be more fun to hang around.” That’s probably a lie. They know all the social rules, they just maintain the opinion that the rules are all stupid. The squip would only tell them what they already know, and they would seldom ever listen.

“Maybe I should. Maybe I’ll listen to it and bully great guys who’ll write it down on Humiliation Sheets. Are you really considering this, Jeremy? You could lose yourself. What if you become the people that you hate?” They have a point. Rich bullied me because his squip told him soon. What if I landed on someone’s Humiliation Sheets?

That’s a risk I’ll take.

“I just want to be cool, (Y/N). You wouldn’t understand. You’re smart and gorgeous and you could get anyone in the school, if you really wanted to!” All true. The reason that they’ve stuck around with me for 5 years now still alludes me.

“I don’t want to lose you! I know that you don’t think you’re cool, but you’re just about the best person I know, so why can’t you just get your eyes off Christine for a second to realize that there are actually good people that love you, just as you are!” Their eyes are puffy and lined with tears that they try to blink away, and I’m quite sure that my entire face is red. Luckily for me, it’s dark. Unluckily for them, the lights reflect off their teary eyes and make them glow rather brightly. If they weren’t red and full of tears that I caused, I’d think that they were pretty. Vibrant as always.

“Don’t hold me back just because you know that you’d be so goddamn lonely at the bottom of the social food chain if I had a better life!” I can’t seem to stop. I dig my hole deeper and deeper. I’m hurting them, and I don’t stop. They’re caring, and I don’t quite know how to deal, so I push them away. My arms loosen around their waist. Their arms tighten around my neck.

They look down at my chest. I’d be self conscious, but they’ve been my friend for years now and I doubt that they’re still at flight risk. A sigh escapes them, and I watch their eyes flash back up to me before landing on our shoes. Our feet move with the blaring rhythm of the music. “So, you’re really going through with this?” They inquire in a low voice.

“I think so.” They already know that I’m set on this. They just don’t want to believe it, but they’re not me.

“It’s your choice. I’ll just miss you.” Geez. I wish I could remind them that I’m not dying, but I can’t conceive a way to tell them without coming off like an even bigger jerk than I am. I bet a squip could tell me a proper thing to say.

“I’m sorry for what I said,” That’s an okay start, “You know that we’ll still be friends, right?”

“Right,” They give me a half-hearted smile. I wish they would smile more. It looks so good on them. It looks like what you’d expect when opening up a lifestyle magazine to a page about happy teens doing happy things, except this is real. (Y/N) is that kind of unedited beautiful. “You’re not getting with Christine tonight. She’s all over Jake.” They tilt their head and motion to Christine. With me swaying with (Y/N), I forgot the actual reason I came here.

“Thanks for reminding me.” I deadpan. I mean it as a half joke, and I’m relieved to see them giggle and glance up at me. Their shoulders bounce up and down; I love when shoulders do that. I feel like if your jokes are good enough to move a person’s mouth and lungs, that’s good, but to move a person’s body because they like you that much is even better. They get what I mean.

“Let me finish,” They smirk at me and relax a bit as they lean closer to me. “You’re not getting with Christine, so I don’t see that there’d be anything wrong with getting with someone else tonight. Kids at our school have done much worse. Do you see an issue with getting with someone else?” One of their eyebrows rises.

“Not particularly. Why do you ask?” Now it’s my turn to raise an eyebrow. I feel like I look like an idiot. If it were a conversation with anyone else, I’d be putting a lot more limitations on my expressions. Just as we spin, I step into a green spotlight and scrunch my face at the sudden change.

“You look cute, Jeremy.” Only (Y/N) doesn’t say that. A part of me wishes that they did.

“Do me a favor, Jeremy,” is how their next sentence actually begins, “Because you’re such a great friend.” They add quickly. Their eyes flicker around uncomfortably.

I lean closer to their face, my voice laced with concern, “What is it?”

“Kiss me. Just for tonight, can I be with you?” They won’t look me in the eyes, and their legs are a bit more shaky than before. Their eyes are glued on our shuffling shoes.

It takes me what feels like a full minute to process their request. (Y/N) wants me. I remove a hand from their waist and lift their chin up as gently as I can. Looking into their eyes, I don’t see anything wrong with kissing them. Actually, it feels as if it’s the only thing right.

They’re so nice, and hell they’re so cute.

I lean in somewhat slowly, partially afraid that they’ll pull away and laugh at me for thinking that they were serious. Inhaling sharply, I ghost my lips over theirs, and feeling the slight tinge of contact makes my entire face feel numb. It feels as if my entire face was dipped into bubbles. Don’t know why I know that feeling so well, but it’s a gentle and electrical feeling. It’s foreign and really nice.

They press their mouth to mine, and I feel the warmth of them radiate through my spine. Their lips are soft and taste of the punch. They’re moving on mine in a way that I’m too nervous to reciprocate, so I stay relatively stagnant for the first few seconds. I still can’t believe that this is happening. I know they feel my apprehension, because they begin to shy away from me, pulling back slightly.

I panic. I don’t want this kiss to end.

I grasp desperately at their ebony fabric until their torso is pressed against mine and my mouth is moving feverishly atop theirs. I need them to know that I want this. They seem to relax, letting themselves melt into me. My eyes flicker open for just a moment. I want to see them.

Pulling away, I let my tongue graze their bottom lip. It was probably awkward, but I don’t care at this point. It was nice. I blush and place my mask back over my face as a gentle reminder to myself that I can’t do it again, as much as I want to.

It shouldn’t have happened in the first place, but I’m so glad that it did.

“Jeremy?” Their mask is also on at this point, and I’m faced with the leathery beak of a plague doctor instead of the pretty face of my good friend.

“Yes?” I sound almost sad.

“Get that squip, if you want. But I want you to know: you’re doing pretty good without it. You’re a good person without it.” They give me that pitiful “thanks for being a friend” kind of shoulder pat, and then all I can do is watch their cloaks swing over the dance floor as they walk away and fade into the crowd of the party.

I’ve really got some things to figure out.

[survivorkvaloya]

Episode #6: “Someone's About To Get Torn To Shreds” - Liam

Okay heyyyy so I'm back off reflection island. And I was SHOOK watching that tribal. Andreas blindsided?? For some reason?? Apparently it was Chelsea's idea but also apparently Chelsea and Jackson wanted to throw the challenge bc they wanted me on their tribe so that's cute! Immediately when I went back I rekindled my relatonships with Danielle and Jackson. I told Jackson about my idol piece, and he told me the location of another one in case i need it. so now I just needa get to Quillynn if I ever need an idol hehe. ANYWAY. I've been back for like?? Half an hour?? AND I ALREADY MADE A MAJORITY ALLIANCE WITH CHELSEA AND JACKSON I'm truly doing that. Plus I have good relations with Danielle, who is now on the outs bc she's the last mentor and was close to Andreas, and I'm not very close to Lauren but I know her so I don't think she'd murder or target me outright. OKAY I FEEL BETTER ABOUT THIS TRIBE. I got to relax and take a break on reflection, get another idol piece, and was automatically placed into a majority on the tribe I landed on. I truly did that. How iconic!

TEA TIMEEEEEE. 

 So after Andreas went home, I immediately went to Jackson and asked what happened. He said he panicked cause that was the only name he heard. Now Danielle is saying that that's false.... Hmmm. Someone's about to get torn to shreds this week.

ya my student is playing a LOT of angles in this game and he got the clue from danielle and found it the next day and he hasn't told me about it. i'm glad i've been telling him everything but i still have my few secrets

Hello! And welcome to one of those times that lily decides to write a confessional. In this edition I just wanna say this challenge sucks. I feel bad for the whole group here. Trivia sucks. Double tribals sucks. But we will power through! I'm headed to Indianapolis as we speak. So far I've seen some corn and had McDonald's #ilykai . My beautiful light pink wig is sitting beside me as it bears this trip with me. So I'm in this dope alliance chat with QuilLynn, willow, Lauren, and Christine. We are called the rice girls because we formed during the rice challenge. (Did I already talk about this? Maybe yes I did oh well I've already typed it) moving on, we all had a great discussion about the last tribal. I was freaking out because I thought Lauren might be in trouble. She wasn't....but hopefully t gained me trust within the group that I really care about them. I think it was also a warning to Lauren that I really did hear these things. Chelsea told me everyone was mad at Lauren about the challenge. And Jackson told me that he thinks Lauren has an idol piece. Lauren told me she doesn't. Which is honestly fine I wouldn't expect anyone to share that kind of info unless if they really needed to. And she really might not have it. There are a lot of things out there with everyone lying about having one or not. I really love talking to Jackson! He is great with conversation loves Disney and has a lot of smart ideas as far as strategy goes. But I just can't tell if he really wants to work with me. I think he is a good person to have around but he could ended up hurting me in the end. Honestly I'm not sure. I just hope I can make it to merge and deal with it all then. That's okay....right? Yeah probably not but it's hard to predict what's gonna go on in this game. Too many twists sigh...of my tribe loses this challenge my guess is we would take Liam out but honestly who knows what could happen. I just know Liam doesn't want to work with me at all. He never messaged me back. Honestly kinda made me sad.... well Liam if you are reading this hi we can still be friends. You are probs really cool! I hope we get to know each other better.  

Well, I've tried as hard as I can to work my social game, now let's see if it pays off! Jack was my closest thing to a definite vote, but maybe if I can flip Willow and Gage to thinking that us mentors need to stick together soon, we'll have a fighting chance..

Liam y u no message me back? 😢 I gotta vote for you and I know you are probably voting for me. Which I guess is fine but damn what the HECKIE 

i reallly don't have a confessional but i don't want a pentalty vote so here it is 

Okay so this season already seems like game changers where big threats are being taken out immediately, so it seems like my lay low strategy is paying dividends at the moment. Liam better go home tonight but if we merge after this I'm scared because I don't know if I can get into a majority alliance come merge 

Hi I'm Jackson and this is my fourth confessional. This is my fourth time at tribal. I'm a little salty to be going (because I felt like I did pretty good in that jeopardy challenge, it just so happened to be the one week where it was a double tribal), but the voting is going to be pretty straightforward, I think. Lauren should be going home. She's not a very active player but she makes me nervous. She has ORG experience, so I don't want to underestimate her. Danielle is on board (she's probably pretty nervous tonight tbh considering how many mentors go home. But hopefully this will cement our bond), and Colin has formed a strong alliance with me and Chelsea, so he's cool with it too. Colin is the decoy - he's who we're telling Lauren to vote. The other tribe going to tribal is what makes me nervous. One of my closest allies, Lily, could be in trouble. The main outcast on that tribe, Jack, is on reflection island, which means Lily could be the next to go. If she wasn't currently at a convention IRL, I'd feel a little safer, as she could throw Liam under the bus and hopefully get Willow and Gage on board to vote him. But the mentors are probably feeling a little nervous about how many of their kind have been voted out. The (albeit false) prospect of a Newbies Alliance might push them to vote out the only newbie on their tribe right now. If only Lily would respond to my messages. As for idol pieces, things aren't great. Colin found another on Reflection (which rocks), so with Chelsea's piece, we should have three in total. But she gave hers to Quillynn without telling me! Which was pretty stupid. Because there's no guarantee Quillynn will give it back and Chelsea is too nervous to ask. I went hunting for that 5-digit code (which I found after two hours), but someone had already gotten it. I'm thinking it was probably Lily, which is irritating, because she's probably about to get voted out. Which is why I want to talk to her!! Ugh!! Okay, I need to get going. Let's hope there's a merge after this I guess? I'm tired of this tribe setup. Byeeee

Okay ugh back to tribal. I got a couple rounds off but now it's back to the game. A five person tribe going to tribal is already scary enough, but there's been more than enough rounds for a couple idols to be made so that's also incredibly scary. I have a majority alliance with Chelsea and Jackson but I'm trying to keep my communication super open with Danielle so that she trusts me and doesn't try anything funny. I have like no working game relationship with Lauren so I want her gone. Jackson and Chelsea want Lauren out too? perfect! She gon' be gone! I gave Chelsea and Jackson permission to use me as a decoy name to give to Lauren which could backfire, but I need to show that I trust them and it makes sense since I was on reflection island last round. They both know I have two idol pieces but hopefully with how open I'm being with them they won't try to take me out because of it. The only thing that could backfire is once they bring my name up to Lauren if she makes a good enough case to actually convince them to vote me out, even though that seems pretty unlikely. I'm not doing much in this game. I'm playing strictly socially and not strategically. Also I'm ruining my record and I should be getting a vote put on me tonight, the first one all season, even if this is like my 4th or 5th tribal. Iconic! But yeah, Lauren is probably going. That's that on that! Hopefully she doesn't play anything! Also hopefully merge is after this double tribal! 

hello hi sup so basically i've been doing nothing in this game mainly because i found my ride or dies: quillynn, lauren, colin and trixie. i have danielle, my lovely mentor and her bff ryan on my side too so im not all that worried for the future. with this win in jeopardy i think i just secured my spot on merge which is really hype but who knows?? anything can happen really! i love danielle and im so grateful for everything she has done for me and i hope we get to work together at merge! i dont think i'd be able to win this game bc i have literally done nothing at all so i guess we will see what happens!

bye lauren, didn't wanna vote ya but y'know! hopefully liam leaves tonight too hehe

So jeopardy was fun! Me and Ryan killed it and are avoiding tribal which means I'll at least get to tie my Sri Lanka placement! On the other side of things, I got closer to Ryan and told him about my idol piece since it's obvious one of us were gonna get one this round. He also let me know about the ones people might've gotten...one of them including my dear student Lauren. I can't really complain cause I haven't told her about mine but it's good to know. If she survives this maybe her, me, Ryan and Jackson can work together. Recently I've been kinda scared cause the mentors keep leaving so hopefully the double doesn't continue that pattern.

I am dominating this game. Muahaha. My student loves me. I love them. I am winning this game for my besties Mitchell and Rob! (This was from TS alum Rob)

Lmao so since Jack got sent to Reflection Island we only have a 4 person tribe now, and I thought 5 person tribes weren't fun but oh boy 4 person tribes are even worse. So of course I'm forced to do jeopardy since Lily is on vacation, and Liam is working all the time. And just in general I'm a flop at jeopardy so fun times, and I got Gage negative points in jeopardy oops. Anyway Liam thinks I'm with him and hes offering me a place in the majority alliance or whatever bc they need more mentors. Like yeah he has a point that its been a mentor going home besides the first vote but I don't think theres an all student alliance I just think its been a coincidence or whatever. Also the idea of there having been a majority alliance since like the 2nd round is really dumb like they're just gonna self destruct and I'm gonna sit watching with my popcorn ready. So it should be Liam going home tonight unless they're trying to pull a blindside but I'm fine with him leaving tbh bc hes kinda inactive and really power hungry. Also I'm really really hoping for a merge soon since its a double tribal.