#also i'll probably keep this Blog mostly lowkey i think

[geddy-leesbian]

still laughing over that person that got super butt hurt about my Leon didn't give a shit about Krauser before the remake timeline post. bitch didn't have an icon or header still just the defaults, no title or anything on their blog, and prior to reblogging my post they hadn't posted/reblogged anything at all since 2018. like they had to have felt SO FUCKING OFFENDED to feel compelled to reblog my post after so many years of inactivity. it's almost flattering that my post was able to cut them so deeply.

also funny because they were mostly offended by things I didn't even say?? one of their main points was that they don't mind headcanon and theory but it wasn't okay for me to present my headcanons as objective fact, and sure, I guess they maybe had a point there. I didn't use the words theory or headcanon in the post, I did word things as if they were objective statements. HOWEVER, every single statement I made was backed up by direct quotes from canon. I wasn't just talking out of my ass, I was simply laying out the differences between how Leon treats other characters and how he treats Krauser, and why those differences indicate that Leon had zero emotional attachment to Krauser. I feel like anyone with a brain probably could have comprehended that I was making objective statements because it's easier to word a post like that and that it was ultimately my analysis of canon and not actual outright canon that's spoon fed to the audience, but whatever, maybe I was overestimating people.

if that had been their only objection to my post, I probably would have caved and apologized and said I could have worded things differently and said Leon not caring about Krauser originally was a theory (I mean a theory HEAVILY backed by the fucking game and more of an analysis than anything) and if they said that and still only included direct responses to my points and why they disagree with my interpretations, I dead ass would have reblogged them saying something like "I personally stand by my own interpretation of how Leon feels about him, but it's always interesting to hear other perspectives! There's not a lot of DSC analysis out there so thanks for sharing yours! Agree to disagree on Leon's feelings, but at least we can agree that DSC is a great game :)"

but noooooo everything else they said was just batshit and made it clear they were just a butt hurt slightly delusional 𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖔 shipper who found my post offensive on a deeply personal level and thought that I despised 𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖔 and my post was me saying that Leon never ever cared about Krauser originally so therefore everyone who ships 𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖔 is bad and stupid because there's no reason to ship it and that I think all people who ship Leon with men are incorrect because canonically Leon has only ever shown attraction to Ada and therefore 𝖆𝖊𝖔𝖓 is the only valid Leon ship.

bitch really thought that I, #1 supporter of the Leon ain't even bi he's exclusively into men 100%homo homo gay Ada was just a comp het crush agenda, sat down and decided to make a post discrediting 𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖔 because I was an 𝖆𝖊𝖔𝖓 shipper lol. just lmao even

like I'm really not that hard to get along with. you can disagree with me all day long on literally everything and I'll keep interacting with you and saying your interpretations aren't any more/less valid than mine are. but if you're going to put words in my mouth and make baseless assumptions about why I disagree with you, fuck off man, you're just getting blocked, not the nice agree to disagree we're both valid treatment I will give to literally anyone who isn't being super aggressive or making shit up.

lowkey kinda upset I'm still thinking about it solely because it feels like they "won" because they're living rent free in my head, but also fuck that, I'm not thinking about them because I thought they made a good argument or I'm devastated that someone disagreed with me, I'm thinking about them because it was actually funny as fuck that the first time I had a brush with ship drama was someone apparently under the false impression that I ship 𝖆𝖊𝖔𝖓. like really I'm (thankfully) never catching shit for the true fact that I very much do dislike that ship, but instead somehow caught shit for liking it even tho I literally don't 💀 absurd. I guess all my actual real opinions are just so absolutely 100% correct and cool and sexy that it's impossible to disagree with me so you have to make up fake opinions to try to start shit with me 💅

[kirgiris]

no one voted for her but hey <3 This is so embarrassing but ky.oko is My favorite dang*nronpa character (although i’m playing t.rigger h.appy h.avoc rn And c.elestia is p cool ...) and i have to Obey all my impulses so here we are .  also this is alondra

[nikatyler]

𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟚

Time for a recap of the last twelve months! It's basically my tradition at this point. This year was a weird one. I'm not even gonna get into real life issues. It sure was something and I'm going into 2023 with no energy and zero expectations, lol. But with this mindset, I can only be pleasantly surprised, right? Or...the world will show me that when you think it can't get any worse, it will.

Anyway, simblr stuff! This is the year I started drifting away from tumblr. It makes me sad, but really, it just isn't the same as it was when I joined. The interaction is not what I wish to get so I'm simply moving to places where I feel like I'm actually heard and seen. Idk. I've tried a few times to "be the change I wanna see" but it's hard to change stuff around here. But oh well, to each their own. I'll probably stick around, even if I hang out more somewhere else and what you see are mostly queued posts. And, well, if twitter burns down, which I wouldn't be surprised if it did, you know I'll fully come back here. I love this hellsite. Genuinely. It makes me mad but I love it.

But I still love you guys. TS3 discord and a few other people who are not in that discord, I do seriously love you.

So, what was happening on this blog this year?

𝕛𝕒𝕟𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕪

I was still posting my previous BC! Well, I was finishing it. Vi became a parent and hadn't become a cheating jerk yet. 😅

𝕗𝕖𝕓𝕣𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕪

*this* is Vi's cheating jerk era. I still feel bad about how I resolved the whole thing, it was too rushed. I guess I was focusing more on the gameplay part and the NSB rules and less on whether their actions are logical? Prince shouldn't have come back to him, that's the hill I'll die on :D I know, I know, NSB rules and all, but he shouldn't have.

𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕔𝕙

We're slowly moving onto Bloom's very short generation, as well as gen 3 of my lepacy. It's Ginevra's time to shine, but first, we spent a lot of time with the winners of Axel and August's BC.

𝕒𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕝

Bambi and Candy are born, as well as the BC babies. Loads of baby cuteness in April on this blog. Oh and Ross flourishes in his babysitter era. Well, he's always been a babysitter to his descendants, but I feel like this is where he 100 % accepts it 😂

𝕞𝕒𝕪

Gins' era truly starts now (why do I keep saying era in this recap lmao). I had a lot of fun playing in Twinbrook again and Ginevra and Lori were so great. <3

𝕛𝕦𝕟𝕖

Alongside my lepacy (hi Elias & other gen 4 babies), I started posting the pink gen of NSB and also, my 100 Baby Challenge! I still can't believe I actually did that, and that I completed it in like two months only. Wow. What. I mean, yeah, I hyperfocused on it, but still. How did I do that.

𝕛𝕦𝕝𝕪

Again, gen 3 of lepacy and gen 7 of NSB, not much to say here. As for playing, I mostly just played the baby challenge. Oh! And Maeve's BC, of course.

Ohh, and July was the month when I decided to dive into the wonderful sims community on twitter. Probably one of my best decisions this year as I made many great friends there...🥰🥰

𝕒𝕦𝕘𝕦𝕤𝕥

Gen 3 ends and Sawyer is ready to take over Bridgeport but he has to wait for a bit. Pastel enters the blog and her bonding with Ross is seriously one of my most favourite things. I didn't think of this at first when I was playing, it only came to me later when I was posting the generation, but he definitely grew fond of her because she reminds him of Sunset so much ;-;

𝕤𝕖𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣

Good news: Bambi and Atsuko get married. Bad news: Ross and Caleb break up. *sigh* There's so much to unpack with their breakup storyline. Yes it makes sense that they'd hit a few bumps on the road, yes it makes sense that some of them would be bad, but...deep down, the breakup only happened because of my insecurities and lowkey being afraid of using a townie in my stories. At least I kinda got over that this fall (thank you twitter moots).

More good news: I'm finally posting the BC!!

𝕠𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣

I finished posting the 100BC and...yeah this was Maeve's month. October was also very vampiric, but I'll probably mention that in a separate recap (if I do a separate recap haha), as this one only focuses on my regular daily content (legacies and such)

𝕟𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣

In November, we saw the funniest twist to ever happen in my BCs. Sorry River :D Aaand we also have the winner of Maeve's BC! I can't wait for you all to see them again in the legacy. Next year, hopefully.

𝕕𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣

Sawyer's time to shine has come. Well, not really, his siblings are constantly stealing it. Don't be surprised if he one day, you know, steals their organs and sells them.

Oh, and it's also TS3!Ross's time to shine. Because of course it is. I knew I needed to use his TS3 self somewhere, and all things considered, this felt like a perfect time for that.

December was also the month I started posting videos on youtube. I'm sorry if I'm annoying about that, but I just enjoy it so much. Never thought I'd say that. So, if you haven't yet, feel free to check it out (and subscribe maybe? 🥺). I'm hoping to do some fun stuff next year.

What's in store for 2023? I'll probably talk about that later, but to put it simply, I think this blog will be stuck with NSB and lepacy.

Thanks for sticking around with my grumpy self. Here's to a better 2023.

Happy new year, everyone!

[diaryoftheunidropout]

DAY 50

Very brief message because it's 3:30AM and all I want is to SLEEP.

I made the reckless decision to brutally go off antidepressants completely just so I can experience the full syptoms of whatever mental illness(es) I have so I can get a better and hopefully more accurate diagnosis and be take more seriously next time I see a psychiatrist.

Three days ago I felt EXTREMELY anxious for asbolutely no reason at all. I wanted to go to the restaurant, I went, and almost as soon as I stepped foot out of my flat, I got anxious. Over nothing. I just FELT anxious. And I was also super irritated by everything. That was the case yesterday too, and a little bit today as well, but it really is less and less.

These past two days I've been feeling super motivated and happy. I can get lots of stuff done and I want to get lots of stuff done. I believe in crazy shit like "I'm going to write a book and have it published" or "I'm going to study 3D animation" or "I'm going to become a tattoo artist". And to think 3 days ago I just thought I was going to do none of that and just work whatever job I'd be given...?

Anyway, I know this is probably very temporary and a relapse is probably going to kick in soon, hopefully in a week or two only, but it's probably more a matter of a couple of days.

I got my Heartstopper tattoo and I'm so so happy about it. I also love my tattoo artist. What I see in her is like... a 15 year older version of myself? We happen to have quite a lot in common except she is under medication that really treats her illness well and therefore she is pretty stable and enjoys her daily life, and that just gives me hope for my own future.

Anyway, I'll try to keep this blog updated more regularly, especially because I wanna keep track of how my mental state evolves, especially since I've had a hard time focusing and remembering anything lately, and also because whenever I feel bad I get sort of "black outs" and forget :')

See you soon hopefully

xx

Update:

I posted the first part at around 3/4AM so in order to update I must do it on the same post.

Around 2AM I felt peaceful and like I was about to fall asleep but I made the very stupid decision to reply to my grandma's messages knowing it was going to take me 2 hours. So at around 4/5AM, when I finally could go to bed, I felt super anxious, I felt like someone was in the room watching like lowkey paranoid. I think I even woke up in the middle of the night hearing someone's breath but honestly it was probably just mine obviously. I think I fell back asleep and woke up again a little before 12PM.

Then I knew I really had to finish preparing my trip to England which is just under two weeks away from now but it made me so fucking anxious. I still managed and ended up taking a lot of pleasure in it! I was pretty much laughing hysterically at everything.

Then I got up to get prepared because I'm getting my 2nd booster against Covid, which I was totally chill about until I left the house and almost had a full blown crisis with tears and anxiety, which I've been trying to fight for the past hour. It's only 10 mins til my appointment. I'm not scared of the shot in itself, I'm just too unstable. I'm not even sure the vaccine in itself is the real cause of my mental anguish, I think it's mostly because I promised myself after this shot I would stop wearing my mask, which should be liberating but instead makes me feel miserable.

We're the 21st of April and it's day 3 (I think) with no medication at all. I refrain from taking anything, not even a bit of medication against anxiety.

At some point I tried to remember what I did yesterday and just couldn't for about a minute. I still feel dizzy when I walk most of the time. When I say or think about the words "death" I just wanna cry. I wish I could die to end the suffering right as I'm writing this but when I think of dying I just get traumatizing flashbacks from my dad's death.

I'm trying to sit down somewhere and collect myself because I really must not cry in front of some poor strangers working at the pharmacy. They haven't done anything to deserve to see me like this.

I am so in pain right now. I wish a doctor would listen and try to help.